#or a topping for some kind of mixed berry crumble

[sunsetzer]

So pro tip, apparently if you follow a cream cheese frosting recipe almost correctly and put too much hot water with gelatin in it and then freeze it, you get gellato

[mishafletcher]

i wrote a book called cooking is terrible, which you can buy on amazon, or at any of the retailers here, or pretty much anywhere you can buy books.

the main post was getting pretty long, and the faq was also pretty long, but people often ask what kinds of recipes are in it, so here are some example recipes!

butter bean salad

Rinse and drain a tin of butter beans. Add crumbled feta and capers. Dress with lemon juice, olive oil, and a little bit of mustard.

Variations: Add quartered marinated artichoke hearts. Add chopped red onion. Add fresh chopped parsley, or fresh or dried thyme. Add sumac to the dressing. (If you do all these things, you have a main course salad that is fancy enough to serve at a party, or to grudgingly take to the work potluck.)

Keeps in the fridge for three to five days.

shitty soup

This soup isn’t actually shitty—it’s actually nice, and I eat it a lot—but we started calling it shitty soup, and the name’s stuck.

Bring enough stock for one person to a boil.

Add about 2 Tbsp of pastina. When the pasta is nearly done (which is only like, two minutes), crack in an egg and turn the pot to a simmer. After about two minutes of simmering, add some sort of veggie—shredded carrots, fresh or frozen spinach, frozen peas—and let it cook for another minute or two. Tada! You’ve made soup.

You can change this up, and don’t have to include all three bits—pasta and a few veggies, or just an egg boiled in stock, is great, and totally a meal. I give all three components mainly so there’s a note about timing. There are a million variations on this—add tomato paste or sesame oil, add other veggies, cook the egg to different degrees of doneness, etc. You can add a little cheese at the end, or a handful of (rinsed) tinned beans, or shreds of previously cooked meat. But at its most basic, broth + something else = soup, which is a meal that you can totally manage to make for yourself in under ten minutes, and then you can smugly tell the internet that you’re sure that what they’re having is nice and all, but you’re having homemade soup. And let’s be honest—most nights, this soup is not good enough to justify that, but who cares. Sometimes you gotta take what you can get.

things you can put on top of cottage cheese or yogurt to make them feel more like an interesting meal

this is just a list of ideas. the things in parentheses are optional extras, though you can use—or not use—whatever you'd like.

Peach or pineapple chunks

Jam

Pumpkin or apple butter

Berries

Cantaloupe/rockmelon

Granola or muesli

Apples, cinnamon, and honey

Literally just honey

Cinnamon sugar

Sunflower seeds + raisins + shredded cheese

Chili powder + black beans + avocado

Chopped tomatoes + garlic (+ spinach) (+ steak seasoning)

Cut-up spinach and chopped green onions (+ tomatoes)

Sundried tomatoes and olives

Chopped cucumber and olives (+ za’atar)

Salsa or hot sauce

Chopped radish, ready cooked beets, or cucumber + dill (+ garlic)

Mix in a bunch of Milo, Nesquick, or other sweetened chocolate powder. (You might want to add a splash of milk.)

Mangos + cardamom (+ honey or other sweetener) (+ pistachios)

Balsamic vinegar (+ strawberries if you wanna get fancy)

Basically any fresh herbs you have + salt

A spoonful of nut butter (+ chocolate)

Dried meat (like pork or mushroom floss, or that weird shredded jerky) + green onion

if you think all this sounds terrible, that's cool—this is not the cookbook for you.

if you're like, 'oh shit, i could make that soup in less than fifteen minutes,' maybe pick up a copy.

[ryttu3k]

Not a clue how many vegan followers who enjoy cruises I have, but I want to stick the pictures I took of the main dining room vegan options somewhere, and it may as well be here! We ate at the main dining room five of the seven nights. Will include the night, the official description, my image, and a brief thought.

This was for a seven-day Australian domestic cruise on Royal Caribbean's Brilliance of the Seas. The nights we skipped were days 4 (British night, vegan options were garden salad, butternut squash curry that was available in the buffet anyway, and a vegan berry sundae), and days 6 (Royal Night, the other formal night - vegan options were a citrus/avocado/melon salad, stuffed red bell pepper, and a chilled banana-cocoa custard). Our sailing did not include Mexican Night (disappointingly, some interesting stuff on there!) or Mediterranean Night (exact same items as Bon Voyage).

Day 1: Welcome Aboard

Starter: Roasted Tomato Soup. A blend of seasoned vine-ripened Roma tomatoes topped with crunchy garlic ciabatta croutons and basil pesto.

A very tasty small serve of soup.

Main: Herb-Crusted Stuffed Portobello. With vegan creamed spinach and fluffy vegetable couscous, baked until golden in marinara sauce and herb oil.

Whoops, I started on this one before I took a photo. It was very round! The couscous was good.

Dessert: Peanut-Caramel Bar. Crispy peanut butter rice square with a touch of maple syrup over a sweet mixed berry compote.

No compote, actual fresh berries. I do love peanut butter and caramel, although it did feel fairly simple.

Day 2: Italian Night

Starter: Golden Polenta Fries with Spicy Dip. Crispy baked corn polenta served with a chilled creamy hazelnut-red pepper spread.

Delish, the sauce was fantastic. Kind of wanted seconds.

Main: Vegan Spaghetti Bolognese. Al dente pasta in a rich marinara sauce with hearty mushrooms and a tofu crumble.

It was... edible! Bizarrely, the tofu crumble seemed to be silken tofu? I got the impression it'd be more parmesan-like. This one was just okay.

Dessert: Crumbly Oat and Berry Bar. Layers of jam and brown-sugar-crusted oats baked fresh and topped with berries and mint.

Very tasty, although again, it felt a bit basic (and there was no mint at all).

Day 3: French Night (formal)

Starter: Creamy Butternut Squash Soup. Roasted harvest squash blended with coconut milk topped with crisp toasted pumpkin seeds.

Only a small serve, but an excellent pumpkin soup.

Main: Spring Pea and Asparagus Risotto. Creamy short-grained rice in simmering pea and mint sauce with jumbo tender asparagus.

Felt... sparse. These are not jumbo asparagus, RC! The peas were either frozen or freeze-dried? Not great. Pretty disappointing for formal night.

Dessert: Dark Chocolate Chip Cookies. Homestyle favorite served with fresh raspberries.

These, at least, were delish. Raspberry, single, lmao. Odd choice for formal night, though.

Day 5: Caribbean Night

Starter: Green Lentil Soup. Hearty lentils simmered in a San Marzano tomato base with fragrant rosemary. AND Maple-Soy Tofu and Avocado Salad. Chilled marinated tofu tossed with plump grape tomatoes, ripe avocado, and toasted white sesame seeds.

Two, two vegan starters! Got both, for Science. The soup was delish, and the tofu was beautifully done, although avocado lovers would be deeply disappointed by only two little cubes.

Main: Stuffed Grilled Eggplant. Whole wheat couscous with pomegranate seeds and bell peppers layered inside grilled eggplant, with minted cucumber and a spring onion dressing.

No pomegranate to be found, but otherwise extremely tasty.

Dessert: Vegan Fudge Brownie. Rich chocolate brownie with sweet whipped cream and caramel sauce.

The 'cream' felt odd, but the giant scoop of ganache more than made up for it. Delish brownie, very fudgy and much better than the cakey brownies they had up at Windjammer.

Day 7: Bon Voyage

Starter: Pan-Seared Asparagus. Jumbo green asparagus with creamy white bean hummus and a hazelnut-basil pesto drizzle.

Again! These are not jumbo asparagus! Tasted great, especially the hazelnut pesto, and Mum and I both got seconds of it, just... not much to it.

Main: Vegetable Greek Moussaka. Layers of grilled eggplant, Roma tomatoes and tender potatoes and onion, topped with panko breadcrumbs and served with oregano-tomato salsa.

My favourite of the mains, really filling and tasty.

Dessert: Chocolate Cherry Tart. Vanilla tart shell with rich dark chocolate ganache and cherry filling, sweet whipped cream and lemon zest.

No lemon zest, but there was a maraschino cherry! Very tasty, albeit quite hard to eat! (The ganache would slide around on top of the cherry filling.) The whipped cream was a bit overly sweet.

Overall thoughts

Not bad, and there has at least been an attempt! Some items were... weirdly sparse, like the formal night risotto, and the starter serves were sometimes tiny. Also, they do not know the meaning of 'jumbo asparagus', apparently. Some pretty decent desserts, albeit some quite simple. On the plus side, it's not just a scoop of lemon sorbet or some fruit!

Vegans won't go hungry, although you may want a protein shake or bar or something too.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Blueberry Cheesecake Day 

Try making your own blueberry cheesecake, or visit a bakery or restaurant to enjoy this cheesy, sweet, tangy graham cracker-crusted treat.

There isn’t much in life that people love more than the rich, tangy flavor of an indulgent cheesecake. Life can be so much sweeter when everyone has the opportunity to be introduced to blueberry cheesecake!

A crumbly graham cracker or cookie crust with a rich cheesy base is topped with a blueberry syrup and then capped with fresh blueberries. This might just be the only thing that could possibly be better than the New York original!

National Blueberry Cheesecake Day was established to ensure that people everywhere know how incredible this dessert is and are given the permission they need in order to celebrate appropriately.

This holiday is a great chance for anyone and everyone to try it for themselves and pass the message on to friends and family!

History Of National Blueberry Cheesecake Day

The origins of the cheesecake can be traced back as far as Ancient Greece, when the first recipes for this cake were put into writing. In the centuries that followed, the dessert would undergo countless changes until it developed into what we know (and love) it to be today.

As different countries embraced this dish, and differing ingredients were more easily available, regional varieties came to be. Different combinations of cheese would often be used depending on the particular location, but the love of the cheesecake itself was certainly universal!

When it comes to cheesecake, cream cheese is the favored primary ingredient in America, while Italian recipes seem to prefer ricotta as a base. In addition, there is a special kind of curd cheese known as “quark” that is used in cheesecakes throughout Poland and Germany.

As these recipes came to be localized, new innovations were being made by the bakers who developed them. One of these new ideas included the addition of fruit to the cheesecake, and the best of all (of course!) was the enticing and delicious blueberry!

Of course, blueberries are delicious in their own right. Native to North America, blueberries were originally called “star berries” by the Native Americans who inhabited the lands prior to the Europeans. Blueberries are an extremely healthy fruit that is called a “superfood”, due to its high concentration of vitamins and antioxidants. Adding these yummy berries to the top of a cheesecake probably doesn’t make them healthier, but it certainly makes them tasty!

In addition to the standard options, there are a number of variations of blueberry cheesecake–as if the original wasn’t good enough! Some of the interesting variations include chocolate blueberry cheesecakes, blueberry mint cheesecakes and even blueberry cheesecakes made with kombucha!

The inventiveness of the cheesecake lover seems to know no limits, which is certainly a benefit to those who are eating it. National Blueberry Cheesecake Day is the perfect opportunity to explore them all!

How to Celebrate National Blueberry Cheesecake Day

For people who love all things related to cheesecake and blueberries, this is going to be an absolute favorite holiday to celebrate, whether on their own or with family and friends! Eating a piece of traditional blueberry cheesecake is only just the beginning.

Try celebrating National Blueberry Cheesecake Day in one of these ways, or come up with other ideas:

Try Making a Blueberry Cheesecake

While traditional, baked cheesecakes come with their own set of challenges in making them, very many shortcut recipes are now available online–and a variety of them do not even require use of the oven!

For an easy no-bake blueberry cheesecake, mix crushed graham crackers or butter cookies with melted butter and sugar to create a crust. Press into a pie pan or cake pan. Then beat milk, powdered sugar, vanilla and cream cheese to create the filling. Add a bit of lemon juice as desired. Spread on top of the graham cracker crust and then top with premade, canned blueberry pie filling. Refrigerate and enjoy!

Host a Blueberry Cheesecake Event

By gathering together a large group of friends, anyone can enjoy a full range of blueberry cheesecakes. Encourage guests to bake and bring their own variety.

Don’t forget that different varieties of the blueberry bush are available too! It would be possible to try it with the rabbiteye blueberry, or the northern highbush blueberry. Each of these varieties brings their own flavor to the table, creating a unique twist on a basic blueberry cheesecake.

Turn it into a charity event by holding a tasting contest and then auctioning off or selling individual pieces of the blueberry cheesecakes to the crowd.

Try a New Variety of Blueberry Cheesecake

Don’t let National Blueberry Cheesecake Day pass by without sampling all the amazing varieties of this cake that the world has to offer. Most people will be delighted and amazed at just how many ways it can be prepared and enjoyed!

Consider these ideas for a new take on this favorite classic dessert:

Add to the fun by using lemon zest and lemon juice in the recipe to give a little pop of tangy flavor.

For a truly Italian flare, add a little bit of honey to the graham cracker crust and then pile fresh mint and fresh blueberries on top of the cheesecake.

Instead of an actual cheesecake, try blueberry cheesecake muffins! Simply make a normal blueberry muffin recipe, but add a dollop of sweetened cream cheese in the middle and then bake. It’s a delicious way to enjoy a variation of blueberry cheesecake without even needing a fork!

Source

[goliadkine]

Moss-Gathering

BY THEODORE ROETHKE

To loosen with all ten fingers held wide and limber

And lift up a patch, dark-green, the kind for lining cemetery baskets,

Thick and cushiony, like an old-fashioned doormat, 

The crumbling small hollow sticks on the underside mixed with roots, 

And wintergreen berries and leaves still stuck to the top, —

That was moss-gathering. 

But something always went out of me when I dug loose those carpets 

Of green, or plunged to my elbows in the spongy yellowish moss of the marshes:

And afterwards I always felt mean, jogging back over the logging road, 

As if I had broken the natural order of things in that swampland;

Disturbed some rhythm, old and of vast importance,

By pulling off flesh from the living planet;

As if I had committed, against the whole scheme of life, a desecration. 

[abookishdreamer]

Character Intro: Záchari (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- The Candymaster by the people of Olympius

Dad by Pandaisia

Zach by Oeno, his friends, and the others

Mr. Dulce by Dione

Age- 39 (immortal)

Location- Queenstown neighborhood, New Olympus

Personality- He's an affable deity with an agreeable, friendly, & compassionate temperament. He's also creative, adventurous, and is always willing to try something new. He's single & is dating casually.

He has the standard abilities of a god. As the god of confectionery his other powers/abilities include glucokinesis (sugar manipulation/generation), cocoakinesis (chocolate manipulation/generation), glycopoeia (is able to turn a being or object into candy), candy manipulation (is able to generate & manipulate various kinds of candies), as well as candy mimicry (is able to transform a part or his entire physical state completely or partially into candy).

His natural scent is that of powdered sugar.

Záchari has one child- a daughter Pandaisia (goddess of banquets). He used to be married to his daughter's mother Oeno (goddess of berries & wine)- one third of The Oenotropae.

He lives by himself on the eighth floor of The Khrysóthronos Building, a luxury apartment building in the Queenstown neighborhood of New Olympus. Záchari resides in apartment 8D. The interior design is very modern and classic with a color scheme of gray, nude, beige, chocolate brown, & black. There are minimalist pieces, leather and suede furniture, white oak flooring, as well as modern light fixtures. His favorite room (and biggest) is the kitchen. There's a grand black marble kitchen island, a wine bar with a sitting area, up-to-date appliances- including the most expensive stop top oven valued at half a million drachmas! Made by iCHOR Tech, the stove has exquiste craftsmanship & innovative technology. There's also a MASSIVE walk-in pantry that holds all of his favorite treats. The dining room has a crystal table with a mini chocolate fountain as its centerpiece along with lucite chairs.

Záchari has two pets- a girl, a poodle named Truffle and a beagle, a boy named Gummy.

He primarily gets around in his sleek glossy metallic brown car.

Záchari will typically start his mornings with a jog through Eaglepoint Park with his dogs. He'll then stop by at The Bread Box in his neighborhood for a croissant breakfast sandwich (made with scrambled eggs, green onions, ham, & shredded cheddar cheese).

When he's in the mood for something sweet to eat for breakfast, he'll make his favorites like chocolate belgian waffles (he adds cocoa powder to the flour) topped with powdered sugar, mixed berries, whipped cream, and fudge sauce, red velvet cinnamon rolls, his sweet egg omelette topped with plain yogurt, granola, & honey, and cherry berry oatmeal (hot cinnamon oatmeal topped with strawberry syrup, yogurt, chia seeds, black cherries, & maraschino cherries). Záchari will also enjoy a big bowl of Omega Lightning Flakes cereal.

He keeps in shape through working out in the gym and boxing.

A go-to drink for him is a strawberry daiquiri. He also likes red wine, piña coladas, New Olympus Iced Teas, buttery nipple shots, chocolate martinis, shirley temples, creme brulee martinis, spicy apple cider margaritas, beer punch, champagne, white wine, homemade red wine milkshakes, hot buttered rum, mimosa floats, red sangrias, mango juice, & rosé wine. Usuals from The Roasted Bean includes a medium fruit punch splash and an olympian sized mocha cookie crumble frappuccino (with extra chocolate drizzle).

His sweet tooth is notoriously known in the pantheon & in the public. Záchari has a deep love and appreciation for sugary foods. Cakes, cookies, custards, ice cream, it doesn't matter. There's no sweet treat he won't consider trying.

A guilty pleasure for him are sea salt chocolate thick cut potato chips.

Záchari adores his little girl. He was more than happy to put some of his money into the start up of Pandaisia's business that later became Cocoa Delights. They're always in touch and they hang out almost every weekend.

He enjoys listening to R&B, pop, hip-hop, dance, & rock music.

The romantic love he once had for his ex-wife transformed into a platonic friendship. Záchari and Oeno still keep in touch, talking on the phone once a week. Whenever she visits the city, they'll have dinner together with their daughter. He's currently planning a vacation for the three of them to go to the Underworld to try out authentic chthonic cuisine- especially the sweets.

Before the family trip, he's planning a little trip to Crete to see Karmanor compete in a bull riding competition.

From Olympic Chef, Záchari loves the honey barbeque wings. He gets a 10 piece along with olympian sized cajun fries.

He loves getting the avocado salad topped with glazed pecans & honey chipotle dressing from The Bread Box.

Záchari's main source of income comes from his business Confection Carousel, a candy shop. The business is mostly known for its saltwater taffy. It's said that the business has the largest production of saltwater taffy as well as popcorn. There's over 200 flavors and they also offer sugar free taffy. Other than the taffy, Confection Carousel also sells various novelty sodas (including soda flavors inspired by most deities) as well as various gourmet dessert popcorn (up to 100 different flavors). With Pandaisia's help, he came up with all the recipes & flavors of the novelty sodas- which are sold in glass bottles. There's an official website, fifteen locations throughout the city, and plans for a makeshift store in the Mall of Olympius as well as a new shop location in the state of Olympia. A new store location in the Underworld is also being planned!

From his shop Záchari's personal favorites include the chocolate cherry saltwater taffy, the ice cream cake flavored popcorn (which is served cold), the apple pie soda- which is inspired by his friend Hestia (goddess of the hearth), and the chocolate soda- which is inspired by his daughter.

He considers his all his employees of Confection Carousel to be extended members of his family.

Záchari enjoys the assorted macarons box along with the jumbo cinnamon roll cookie from Hollyhock's Bakery.

His other means of income comes from being a contributing writer of Kalí Órexi, the culinary magazine owned by Deipneus (god of cooking & breadmaking) and being the pastry chef for The Luxe, a high end eatery owned by Clymene (Titaness of fame & renown). Záchari was responsible for some of The Luxe's most hard-to-get sweet treats like the Golden Doughnut (a gold dusted edible chocolate doughnut with champagne creme filling topped with edible diamonds and a pure gold leaf) and the newest addition- the Golden Cannoli; a cannoli shell wrapped in a gold leaf with a base of rich dark chocolate and a whipped ricotta cheese filling mixed with candied lemon, chocolate, & lemon peel. It's priced at 25,000 drachmas. Their are plans for him to try to top the most expensive ice cream sundae on the menu with an even more extravagant frozen treat- ice cream made from the ice caps on Mt. Olympus!

In the pantheon Záchari is good friends with Trochilus (god of the mill wheel), Karmanor (demi-god of the harvest), Apólafsi (god of enjoyment), Triptolemus (god of farming), Pherusa (goddess of substance & farm estates), Karme (demi-goddess of the harvest), Eudaimonia (goddess of happiness), Kéfi (goddess of mirth), Argía (goddess of holidays), Priapus (god of fertility, vegetable gardens, livestock, sexuality, & masculinity), Eunostos (goddess of the flour mill), Philotes (goddess of sex, friendship, & affection), Leto (Titaness of demurity & motherhood), and Maia (one of The Pleiades).

He's also still close with his former sisters-in-law Elais (goddess of oil) and Spermo (goddess of grains).

Záchari LOVES making sweet treats and desserts for his friends, often times hand delivering it himself to them! He filled a decorative tin with sugar cookie gourmet popcorn which he gifted to Argía.

He was an official mentor towards Matton (god of meals).

A new business opportunity has fallen into Záchari's lap. With the completion of Deipneus' culinary TV network, He's been offered to host a reality TV baking show titled Glykó Dónti. The first episode is scheduled to premier very soon!

He recently rejected another business proposal from Clymene, a possibility of a dating reality TV show where 20 women vie for his affections produced by her production company. If he's gonna fall in love, it's going to happen for real and not in front of millions of beings every week. Though he'd be lying if he wasn't intrigued by the chance to meet beautiful & interesting women.

Záchari loves traveling to the state of Achaea to see his friends Trip & Troy, especially around the time of the state's annual beignet festival. It was there where he had is most recent hookup with a dryad named Primrose. One look at the confident swish of her curvy hips and backside & Záchari was hooked! They ended up hooking up near the back of her stall, a thick cloud of powdered sugar surrounding them.

His ultimate favorite frozen treat is his homemade overstuffed ice cream sundae. Záchari gets a giant bowl and fills it with various scoops of ice cream flavors- like vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, cherry, & red velvet. He then adds a load of toppings like white chocolate chips, pieces of cheesecake flavored saltwater taffy, pieces of chocolate chip cookies, sprinkles, bruleed banana slices, & caramel milk chocolate squares. He tops the sundae off with loads of whipped cream, strawberry syrup, fudge sauce, carmalized peanuts, and maraschino cherries.

Záchari enjoys the jars of habanero mango salsa Priapus sends to him.

He jokingly says that he upkeeps his sculpted hairstyle with the use of maple syrup.

Záchari has no expectations when it comes to dating. He's just enjoying himself and having a good time. He doesn't do hookups very often, actually enjoying the prospect of going out on a date. Záchari's last date was with a nephelai named Meghani where they went to an indoor ice skating rink in the Skyline neighborhood. They skated for three hours and enjoyed cups of hot chocolate & had a late time walk through Eaglepoint Park. When they kissed good night, Záchari noted how her lips tasted like powered sugar.

A few weeks ago he along with Eudaimonia, Kéfi, & Apólafsi went to Potè Tróei where they all shared the oversized chipwhich ice cream sandwich.

In the pantheon Záchari is also known for his fig crostadas, always dusted atop with a nice helping of powdered sugar!

In his free time he enjoys baking, cooking, watching TV, going to the movies, clubbing, dancing, basketball, football (soccer), and sunbathing.

His favorite meal is korma served with white rice and naan. He also likes his daughter's asparagus quiche.

"Dessert: the sweetest form of self-love."

[emmysorganics]

Sweet Snack Board Ideas for Any Movie Night

Movie nights and snacks go together like cookies and chocolate chips—you can’t question their compatibility. You might sit down with a bowl of popcorn or grab a handful of pretzels, but there’s nothing like a sweet snack to make the experience truly enjoyable. If you’re planning a movie night for family, friends, or yourself, make sure you have everything you need to put together a healthy and perfectly sweet snack tray. It will be the ultimate kind of treat-cuterie board with wholesome goodies, gluten-free cookies, and the stuff that puts a smile on everyone’s face.

Delicious Gluten-Free Coconut Cookies Gluten-free coconut cookies should be a pantry staple. The best are tasty, snack-sized, and the exact opposite of dry. Look at a coconut cookie’s ingredient list before choosing the one for your movie night. Shorter is better, and while you might avoid gluten, dairy, GMOs, and non-vegan ingredients, don’t avoid sugar. It’s a sweet treat kind of night, after all, and it’s not like you’ll overdo it by enjoying or offering a few chocolate chip coconut cookies on the snack board. Easy-to-Make Clean Ingredient Brownies A tray of brownies really simplifies the snack board situation. Plate ’em and serve ’em to hungry family and friends, or keep them all for yourself. You can grab a bag of grain-free brownie mix that’s gluten-free because everyone deserves to enjoy a good brownie on movie night. If everyone at the movie night is okay with peanuts, crumble some chewy peanut butter coconut cookies into the batter before the brownies go into the oven. Naturally Sweet Berries and Sliced Fruit Add some extra color to your snack board with berries and sliced fruit. Fruit will pair well with many different snacks, including coconutty dark cacao cookies, gluten-free pretzels, coconut whipped cream, and almond butter. Take a bite of a dark cacao cookie, drop a raspberry into your mouth, and keep snacking. Nobody will judge the extra cookie bites, either. It’s your snack board—you do you. Wholesome Homemade Goodies If you have kids or you’re feeling creative, start movie night in the kitchen with all hands on deck for snack-making. Use pantry items, like coconut cookies, to make fun treats. Slice them in half like a hamburger bun and sandwich ice cream in the middle. Press some into the bottom of a dish and top with Greek yogurt and berries before popping it into the fridge, or grab some of those berries and assemble fruit and cookie kabobs. You’ll have snacks to satisfy all the cravings for creativity, yumminess, and even wholesome nutrients. Planning a movie night doesn’t take that much work. You can usually look in your pantry or fridge for some goodies to snack on during the night. That said, you should probably pick up some good snacks, like coconut cookies—and when it comes to coconut cookies chocolate chip pieces are a must. You won’t be kicking yourself for missing the perfect finishing touch to a fun movie night when you have chocolate chip coconut cookies, coconutty dark cocoa cookies, or other chewy coconut cookies to feature on your snack board. About Emmy’s Organics Emmy’s Organics puts a deliciously wholesome twist on classic cookies and bakery treats, bringing you exceptionally good snacks to satisfy your sweet tooth and fuel your body. Their unique, limited-ingredient coconut cookies are gluten-free, vegan, and USDA organic—every flavor has nine or less ingredients! You can find Emmy’s Organics online and in stores nationwide, but it all started with one girl, one gluten-free boy, and one home kitchen. After creating their coconut cookies, Samantha and Ian decided to share the gluten-free treats with the world... or at least the local farmers’ market. You can pretty much guess what happened—they were a hit! Now, as a certified B Corp offering livable wages, hiring refugees, and supporting charities, Emmy’s Organics is on a mission to use their business as a force for good in your home and worldwide. Get ready for any movie night with Emmy’s Organics by visiting https://emmysorganics.com/ Original Source: https://bit.ly/3ZeXAPM

[heroes-feasting]

Meal’s End

“[...] this refreshing dish is quick to concoct and easy to serve by the bowlful, requiring no baking. While there are subtle variations of “meal’s end” based on region and culture, the version with chopped persimmon or plum in lieu of field berries is quite seasonal and thus recommended.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 79

Honestly, I'm going to start calling the whipped heavy cream, greek yogurt, vanilla extract combo that creates the base of Meal’s End “better whipped cream”. The rich sweetness of the cream and vanilla is both enhanced and offset by the addition of the greek yogurt in a way I still struggle to describe.

To make it even better, because the meringues melt quickly in your mouth, they add fantastic texture while not disturbing the overall smoothness of the dessert!

Rich without being heavy, Meal’s End from Heroes’ Feast is the perfect light dessert to have after any meal!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep: 10 mins                Cook: 10 mins                 Total: 20 mins

Ingredients - serves 4 parfait glasses:

3 cups (430 g) fresh strawberries, rinsed and hulled (or a mix of berries)

Sugar as needed

1 ⅓ cups (315 ml) heavy cream

⅓ cup (80 ml) plain Greek yogurt (preferably whole milk) or crème fraîche*

¼ tsp. (1 ml) pure vanilla extract

2 ounces package (50 g/half the package shown) or homemade cocoa or vanilla meringues, coarsely crumbled (about 1 ⅓ cups)

* I used 2% plain Greek yogurt.

Coarsely chop 2 cups of the strawberries. In a bowl, mix the chopped strawberries with sugar to taste. (top-left bowl)

Slice or quarter the remaining 1 cup berries. In a small bowl, mix these strawberries with sugar to taste. (top-right bowl)

Using an electric or handheld whisk, beat the heavy whipping cream until it is softly whipped, adding 1 tbsp. of sugar once the cream has thickened.

This will take 1 to 1 ½ minutes with a stand mixer at high speed.

TIP: To make the cream whisk faster, put the bowl you are using in the fridge or freezer for 10 minutes until chilled. Also, keep the cream cold in the fridge until you’re ready to whip it.

Fold in the yogurt and vanilla just until blended.

Fold in the chopped berries and crumbled meringues.

Divide the mixture among four serving dishes, top with the sliced berries, and serve all at once.

NOTE: Time is not kind to the texture of the meringues. Serve Meal’s End immediately after making it. However, leftovers can be kept covered in the fridge and eaten later.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. Like I said in the intro, the meringues and berries compliment the smoothness and incredible flavour of the whipped cream mixture perfectly!

I would highly recommend eating this after a fish dinner, but it’s also a great dessert after heavier foods like steak.

Although eating it immediately after making will preserve the texture of the meringues, save any leftovers you’ve got from this! The flavour of the meringues will combine with the whipped cream and make a delicious dessert later too!

[loominggaia]

SEELIE CUISINE

(lore under cut)

The Seelie Court is one of the oldest Great Kingdoms on Looming Gaia. It has been ruled by the  immortal queen Titania for thousands of years. Because its politics have largely stagnated, so too has its culture. The Seelie are distrustful of foreigners and their goods, and take pride in all that’s locally-sourced from their own territory. Their traditional cuisine is a prime example of this attitude.

FRUIT LOAF

Wild cherry trees are abundant in northern Umory-Ond, which the Seelie call home. Because of this, cherries have always been incorporated into a wide variety of dishes, but none more popular than the humble fruit loaf. Tasty and easy to bake, this dense loaf of bread is fermented and made to last for months. It makes a good snack to travel with.

CHOCOLATE COFFEE

Seelie coffee is traditionally served with whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles, and some kind of fruit or berry. Melted chocolate and extra sugar is mixed in for a sweeter taste. As a heavily fae-dominated kingdom, most Seelie citizens are magic users and rely on caffeine to replenish their arcane energy.

SHELLFISH

The Seelie Court’s largest cities are located along Umory-Ond’s coastline. These coastlines are abundant with sealife that’s plenty good to eat. Shellfish are easy to both farm and harvest in the wild, so they have become one of the most popular forms of seafood for all Seelie kind. Mussels are most common, served in the shell with various spices.

CABBISH

Cabbish is a soup made from boiled cabbage, sliced carrots, huckleberries, and broth. Despite its strong odor (and the odors that follow after eating it), it is an ancient and beloved dish for its sweet and salty flavor. It was once known as a dish for the poor, but richer variants have made their way to the tables of the wealthy in recent times.

CRYSTAL STICK

This candy is made from crystallized sugar. It’s usually eaten on a stick, but is also made into balls or small “crumbles” that can be eaten by the handful. These have a shelf life of many years, so Seelie soldiers are known to carry them around for a quick burst of energy on the field.

DUMPLINGS

A simple pocket of flour with a meat and/or vegetable filling. The average Seelie citizen eats dumplings every day. They are appropriate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and are often eaten as a side to other dishes. Their convenient structure makes them a good food to eat on the go and they are sold by many street vendors.

CANDLEWINE

This eye-catching, luminous wine is made from a glowing plant called candleroot. Candleroot is normally not edible, but winemakers process it in a unique way that enables fae species to drink it safely. Gaians, commoners, and most animals don’t get any benefit from this wine and may even get sick.

HAUNCH ‘N TATO

The traditional Seelie dinner is a simple meat haunch with gravy, spices, and a baked potato topped with pitter butter—a dairy-free byproduct of a giant caterpillar. The meat is typically from rabbit, fox, or sheep. Sometimes the meat is replaced with a fake haunch made from soy for a vegetarian alternative. This variant is popular with Seelie’s goblin populations, who cannot tolerate meat.

FAIRY COOKIES

Though they look innocuous and taste delicious, these frosted cookies have a grim history behind them. As a divine, Queen Titania used her powers to forge an army of monsters called “faerys” to fight in her wars. She produced them by the thousands, but what she didn’t account for was the resources they would need to survive. She hadn’t enough food to feed them all, so she instructed the stronger faerys to kill off the weaker ones, then process their corpses into biscuits that would keep for a long time. These biscuits were called “faery cookies”. Today, the spelling has been altered slightly to separate them from their dark past, as they are no longer made from corpses...at least most of the time. In the past, their flour was made from ground bonemeal and they were topped with blood. Today, they are usually made with simple wheat, sugary frosting, and sometimes marrow from the bones of animals. They are an obligatory treat for any kind of celebration, serving to remind the Seelie people of their colorful history.

*

Questions?

Masterpost

*

[hopetofantasy]

Culture, parallels & meta - S3 E3

Zaterdag 08:10

Perfect parallel: An upset Robbe being little spoon to Noor this episode, him being a relaxed little spoon to Sander in the last one.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Moyo has half eaten wafers cookies on his bed. Between the cellphone time and timestamp, it took Robbe five minutes to get dressed and to the beach. The beautiful angel pendant makes its first appearance.

Bonus: This cinematography trick of using a wide shot with nobody else in the sight, makes us actually feel how lonely Robbe actually is. 

°

Zaterdag 08:23

C is for culture: “Vamanos” - As you may have noticed, Flemish has a lot of words that aren’t typically Dutch. These are called ‘leenwoorden’ (= ‘borrowing words’). In some cases, the language has made the word its own, with their conjugation or sound (like barbecue - barbecuet - or e-mail - ge-e-maild), other times the expression is copied completely (like smartphone or laptop). There are various reasons as to why people don’t want to change it: globalization, wanting to be more vague/cool, general laziness, ...

Perfect parallel: 

Sander’s playful “Are you the manager?” and “That’ll be zero stars on Booking.com” to Robbe when they meet in this episode, Sander’s sheepish “Zero stars on Booking.com” and Robbe’s pointed “Where is that manager when you need him?”, when they have their fall-out in a later episode. 

Sander saying “When I booked this room, I explicitly asked for room-service” here and him actually booking a room with room-service for the both of them later on.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Jens’ keyboard is lying on top of the closet. Sander grabbing his keys (to his car?).

°

Zaterdag 08:44

C is for culture: The option to use self-scanning is pretty common in Belgian supermarkets, especially in shop-and-go city stores. You pick up the scanner, scan the stuff you buy, go to a counter, pay and walk out with your groceries. A sales assistant is still present to help out with problems or do random routine checks. It’s fast, easy and cost-efficient. The downside? Shoplifting becomes a bit easier this way.

That’s character: Sander is putting up a ‘cool guy, devil may care’ facade. He jokes about not scanning everything, dismisses Amber’s list, whirls the shopping cart around and sings David Bowie to this boy. He wants to make a lasting impression on Robbe. If he’s the most charming, chaotic and adventurous version of himself, then he doesn’t have to think about other stuff like his own crumbling relationship. (Also the reason why he doesn’t answer the question about Amber: they simply met through Britt). As the boxes fall down, so does Sander’s tough exterior, as he never intended to hurt Robbe by playing around in the supermarket.

Robbe’s clumsiness meter: +3, he almost topples off the cart twice and drops the chocolate bars on the floor. (The crash with Sander isn’t his fault though)

Oopsie: 

Sander is wearing a leather jacket, but we don’t see it in the previous clip. Either he left it in his car or it’s an ‘oopsie’.

When Sander accidentally tosses Robbe into the boxes, we hear glass breaking. However, in the next shot, the boxes seem to empty (and they were supposed to be filled with chips, which don’t make that sound).

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Sander is wearing black Converse. They bought Jupiler beer. Robbe pulls out ‘Delhaize’ Biscuit chocolate bars and Florentin cookies.

°

Zaterdag 13:13

C is for culture: "Croques” - The word ‘croque’ is an abbreviation for ‘croque monsieur’ (= ‘crunch mister’). These are grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches, a typical greasy snack at taverns, markets, carnivals, your home, ... Other versions include the ‘croque madame’ topped with a fried egg, ‘croque bolognese’ with bolognese sauce, ‘croque hawai’ with a pineapple slice.

That’s character: It’s clear that Robbe has no idea how to eat properly. All throughout the season he eats unhealthy breakfasts (choco spread with cookies), snacks (chips, cookies) and dinners (Aïki noodles, frozen lasagna). But here we see the reason: he doesn’t seem to know how to cook or work a stove. Exactly why he buys prepackaged or instant food options. So, it’s probably for the best that Zoë helps out his eating habits.

Perfect parallel:

Robbe making an unhealthy breakfast in the previous episode, Sander providing him with an unhealthy snack in this one. (The way to a man’s heart is through the stomach)

Britt’s condescending “Listening to David Bowie again?” in this episode, her calling Robbe his next obsession similar to David Bowie later on. 

Sander’s “Do you know where I can find the coffee?” to Robbe in an earlier scene and his “Was coffee on the list?” to Amber here.

Robbe’s clumsiness meter: +2, he stumbles backwards after Sander touches his shoulder and burns himself after turning the ‘croque’.

Nod to the OG: This kitchen scene is the equivalent of the ‘5 fine frøkner’ scene, as Sander sings his favorite song to Robbe and makes breakfast, whilst both flirt with each other (subtly).

Oopsie: They supposedly went to ‘Delhaize’ for all their groceries, but the ketchup bottle comes from ‘Carrefour’ and the butter from ‘Colruyt’. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Sander messes up the first words to ‘Under Pressure’ - it’s ‘pressure’ not ‘under pressure’. He mixes the weed with tobacco for his joint. The conflict on Sander’s face at the end.

°

Zondag 16:34

C is for culture: "What kind of shit question is this?” - They’re playing ‘De Slimste Mens ter wereld’ (= ‘The smartest human on earth’), a board game by the popular Flemish television show with the same name. The quiz is very challenging. People have to solve associative, general knowledge and out-of-the-box questions with multiple answers in different rounds. Points are awarded in the form of seconds, which are used during the game. The candidate with time left at the end, wins.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The group is drinking white wine out of plastic cups. Sander studied at ‘de!Kunsthumaniora’, the same school as Noor. Sander’s wearing his combat boots again.

°

Maandag 15:12

C is for culture: Aaron is wearing a bunny costume for the paintball game ‘Hunt the bunny’. This is usually played by people on a bachelor party or a corporate team building (with the groom/boss as the bunny). The goal is simple: the bunny has to cross the field from one corner to another, whilst the hunters shoot as much paintballs as possible to ‘kill’ it. Which is... rather painful, especially at close range. 

Oopsie: What they’re doing is actually illegal or even impossible. People aren’t allowed to play paintball in protected environments, like dunes. Unless they’re doing it with a specialized organization who’s trained for these games (and are present at the time of playing) or have the written permission from the ‘Agency of Nature and Forest’, the police, the city, ... There is a whole heap of permissions, administrative papers and laws to deal with. 

Lost in translation: Britt saying “Doe normaal” (= “Act normal”) has nothing to do with her dismissing Sander’s mental health. This Flemish phrase is often used to calm people down, telling them that they’re acting rather irrationally or childish. It’s an angry way of saying “Can’t you behave yourself? Calm down. What are you doing? Be rational!”. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The blue and red flags tells us that they’re going to play ‘capture the flag’. Some of the ‘pfff’ gun sounds you hear, indicate that the air pressure needs to be checked. Moyo took off his protection mask, which is dangerous and sometimes considered a foul during the game.

°

Dinsdag 20:02

C is for culture: "Do you know how to make s’mores?” - Toasting marshmallows above a campfire, isn’t really a tradition in Belgium. So that’s why the girls don’t know how to make s’mores. 

Lost in translation: ’Smoor’ is a Flemish dialect word for smoke or the act of smoking. It does sound a lot like ‘s’mores’. This is why Luca thinks Aaron wants to hold the marshmallow into the fire. 

Oop, there it is, the homophobia / heteronormativity: Of course Robbe had nothing to lose with Noor, he wasn’t actually interested in her. With Sander, however, Robbe doesn’t dare to do anything.

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Aaron is drinking ‘Bock’ beer. Amber looks at Aaron like she really likes him, when he’s preparing the s’mores.

°

Woensdag 20:42

C is for culture: 

“An old german bunker” - The province of West-Flanders as well as its coast still has a lot of remnants left from WWI. From German bunkers to trench-networks, burial sites and museums, the 'Great war’ left its traces. Unsurprisingly, every year, people still find around 300 tons of (active) bombs underneath the fields.

“Around ‘All Souls’ Day’ they come back to life” - ‘All Souls’ Day’ is a christian holiday on the 2nd of November, on which the dead are commemorated. However, since that day isn’t an official holiday in Belgium, people visit the graves and honor of their loved ones on the 1st of November, ‘All Saint’s Day’. 

The group drinking ‘jenever’ shots - ‘Jenever’ (known in English as ‘Dutch gin’ or ‘genever’) is a traditional liquor in Belgium and the Netherlands. Young people usually drink these colored, high percentage spirits at Christmas markets, pre-drinks or parties when it’s cold outside. Different flavors include vanilla, chocolate, berries, lemon, apple, ...

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The wooden panel behind Jens says ‘Volg de pijlen’ (= ‘Follow the arrows’). Aaron and Amber are holding hands after their fall. Robbe downs a chocolate-cream ‘jenever’ shot at the end. 

°

Woensdag 21:53

Perfect parallel: Robbe lashing out at his friends in this episode - he feels left out and confused about his sexuality - and blames the pranks. Him doing the same in the next - he thinks his friends are hypocrites by saying homophobic comments to him yet defending the gay teacher - and blames the vlogs. 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: The second living room has a spinning disco light.

°

Donderdag 21:12

C is for culture:

“In dat jeugdhuis” - A ‘jeugdhuis’ (= ‘youth house’) is a meeting place, run by young volunteers. All teens and young adults are welcome to hang out, throw parties, drink at their bar, organize concerts, attend workshops - just making the space their own. 

“He sounded like a begging Romanian” - Luca is referring to Romanian Romani families, who roam around in the streets of Brussels begging for some money. These ethnic groups have a mostly negative image amongst the Europeans. Which is why she states this harsh and hurtful comparison.

Perfect parallel: Noor asking Robbe for a playlist so she can listen to his favorite songs here, Sander actually making a Bowie playlist for Robbe in the next episode.

Lost in translation: Luca is mocking the West-Flemish dialect by copying what the boy said, namely “Moe’en julder ok ‘n flyer ‘ennen?”. This dialect is known for blowing their ‘g’ and ‘h’ so that they sound similar, conjugating their 'yes’ or ‘no’, having double subjects, seemingly swallowing some letters, among other things. It’s one of the most confusing and difficult dialects for the Flemish to understand themselves.

Oopsie: When Aaron asks Amber if she needs a drink, Britt and Sander are dancing right behind him. When she answers and walks away, they’re suddenly gone, only to be seen again when Moyo walks over.

Nod to the OG/Wink to other remakes: The ‘call your girlfriend’ kiss, duh! 

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Jana is wearing one white contact lens.

°

Vrijdag 08:43

Perfect parallel: 

Sander searching for coffee first thing in the morning earlier this episode and him pouring a cup before any task in this clip.

Sander’s “Maybe I’m scared that I will never find someone” here and Robbe’s multi-layered “I’m so happy that I found you” in the last episode.

Oopsie: When the boys walk to the recycling spot, the lighting changes from sunny to clouded to dark in a matter of seconds.

Funny coincidence: Sander referring to his relationship as ‘ups and downs’, probably similar to his experience with bipolarity.

Wink to other remakes: An almost kiss near trash, remind you of certain Italian boys?

Blink-and-y’ll-miss-it: Amber delegating tasks, but doing nothing herself. Robbe smiles for a few milliseconds, because Sander touched him. The flash of panic in Robbe’s eyes afterwards.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Blueberry Cheesecake Day 

Try making your own blueberry cheesecake, or visit a bakery or restaurant to enjoy this cheesy, sweet, tangy graham cracker-crusted treat.

There isn’t much in life that people love more than the rich, tangy flavor of an indulgent cheesecake. Life can be so much sweeter when everyone has the opportunity to be introduced to blueberry cheesecake!

A crumbly graham cracker or cookie crust with a rich cheesy base is topped with a blueberry syrup and then capped with fresh blueberries. This might just be the only thing that could possibly be better than the New York original!

National Blueberry Cheesecake Day was established to ensure that people everywhere know how incredible this dessert is and are given the permission they need in order to celebrate appropriately.

This holiday is a great chance for anyone and everyone to try it for themselves and pass the message on to friends and family!

History Of National Blueberry Cheesecake Day

The origins of the cheesecake can be traced back as far as Ancient Greece, when the first recipes for this cake were put into writing. In the centuries that followed, the dessert would undergo countless changes until it developed into what we know (and love) it to be today.

As different countries embraced this dish, and differing ingredients were more easily available, regional varieties came to be. Different combinations of cheese would often be used depending on the particular location, but the love of the cheesecake itself was certainly universal!

When it comes to cheesecake, cream cheese is the favored primary ingredient in America, while Italian recipes seem to prefer ricotta as a base. In addition, there is a special kind of curd cheese known as “quark” that is used in cheesecakes throughout Poland and Germany.

As these recipes came to be localized, new innovations were being made by the bakers who developed them. One of these new ideas included the addition of fruit to the cheesecake, and the best of all (of course!) was the enticing and delicious blueberry!

Of course, blueberries are delicious in their own right. Native to North America, blueberries were originally called “star berries” by the Native Americans who inhabited the lands prior to the Europeans. Blueberries are an extremely healthy fruit that is called a “superfood”, due to its high concentration of vitamins and antioxidants. Adding these yummy berries to the top of a cheesecake probably doesn’t make them healthier, but it certainly makes them tasty!

In addition to the standard options, there are a number of variations of blueberry cheesecake–as if the original wasn’t good enough! Some of the interesting variations include chocolate blueberry cheesecakes, blueberry mint cheesecakes and even blueberry cheesecakes made with kombucha!

The inventiveness of the cheesecake lover seems to know no limits, which is certainly a benefit to those who are eating it. National Blueberry Cheesecake Day is the perfect opportunity to explore them all!

How to Celebrate National Blueberry Cheesecake Day

For people who love all things related to cheesecake and blueberries, this is going to be an absolute favorite holiday to celebrate, whether on their own or with family and friends! Eating a piece of traditional blueberry cheesecake is only just the beginning.

Try celebrating National Blueberry Cheesecake Day in one of these ways, or come up with other ideas:

Try Making a Blueberry Cheesecake

While traditional, baked cheesecakes come with their own set of challenges in making them, very many shortcut recipes are now available online–and a variety of them do not even require use of the oven!

For an easy no-bake blueberry cheesecake, mix crushed graham crackers or butter cookies with melted butter and sugar to create a crust. Press into a pie pan or cake pan. Then beat milk, powdered sugar, vanilla and cream cheese to create the filling. Add a bit of lemon juice as desired. Spread on top of the graham cracker crust and then top with premade, canned blueberry pie filling. Refrigerate and enjoy!

Host a Blueberry Cheesecake Event

By gathering together a large group of friends, anyone can enjoy a full range of blueberry cheesecakes. Encourage guests to bake and bring their own variety.

Don’t forget that different varieties of the blueberry bush are available too! It would be possible to try it with the rabbiteye blueberry, or the northern highbush blueberry. Each of these varieties brings their own flavor to the table, creating a unique twist on a basic blueberry cheesecake.

Turn it into a charity event by holding a tasting contest and then auctioning off or selling individual pieces of the blueberry cheesecakes to the crowd.

Try a New Variety of Blueberry Cheesecake

Don’t let National Blueberry Cheesecake Day pass by without sampling all the amazing varieties of this cake that the world has to offer. Most people will be delighted and amazed at just how many ways it can be prepared and enjoyed!

Consider these ideas for a new take on this favorite classic dessert:

Add to the fun by using lemon zest and lemon juice in the recipe to give a little pop of tangy flavor.

For a truly Italian flare, add a little bit of honey to the graham cracker crust and then pile fresh mint and fresh blueberries on top of the cheesecake.

Instead of an actual cheesecake, try blueberry cheesecake muffins! Simply make a normal blueberry muffin recipe, but add a dollop of sweetened cream cheese in the middle and then bake. It’s a delicious way to enjoy a variation of blueberry cheesecake without even needing a fork!

Source

[therenlover]

Cakes for the Evans Part One: The Kai Cake Disaster

Today, dear followers, I began the first step of a long journey that I hope to share with you. Today, I baked a cake.

I had a whole lot of free time this afternoon with a whole lot of nothing to do, so I was hanging out with my sister. We were watching AHS when suddenly, out of nowhere, I had an idea. A “brilliant” idea. I was going to bake a cake.

The original plan was pretty simple. I’d find some ingredients in the cupboard, bake a little cake, and call it a day, but shortly after I gathered up a recipe and an idea for the flavor I though ‘huh, I could make a series out of this!’ So, I did.

From today, whenever I have the time and can gather the ingredients, I’m going to start baking a cake for each Evan (all the Evans in AHS, Warren Lipka, Peter Maximoff, and Ralph Bohner). Today I started with Kai Anderson.

It was, to be fully honest, a fucking disaster, so it being Kai’s cake is fitting. 

At first things went well. I had a whole bag of tangerines in the fridge, as well as a few cartons of berries that were going to go bad soon. Me and my sister modified a few family recipes, and soon enough we had our idea. 

Originally, the cake was supposed to be a two layer tangerine cake, with blackberry frosting in the middle and an orange blueberry glaze on top. As you can see, that didn’t happen.

We made the cakes themselves with little error. It was delightful to have something work out with no kinks. We took that for granted. With all our success, our egos had soared. There was no way this could go wrong after starting on such a bright note, right? Wrong.

First, the blackberry frosting just... didn’t turn into frosting. Like, we followed the instructions but the berries had a looot of water in them, so it sort of just turned into a sugary mess. We ended up just tossing it in a mason jar and plan to use it for crepes tomorrow.

Then, while I was zesting tangerines, my sister watched in horror as the cakes just... fell apart. Neither of them made it out of the pan fully formed despite the fact that we had greased them with a ridiculous amount of butter. One was salvageable... the other, not so much. We rolled with it, found a can of frosting in the pantry, and made some extra cake pops.

The cake pops.... well, we’ll get to that later.

The tangerine blueberry glaze ended up.... well, it was too thin, so we cooked it down and ended up with another weird sugary syrup slop, only this time it had chunks! Delightful! It ended up tasting pretty good, but took more steps and improv than initially intended. 

Once all was said and done, we fetched the cake pops from the freezer only to find they had cemented themselves to the wax paper, and refused to budge. At this point, I was close to tears. 

I would not, in all honesty, recommend this process to anyone. It was time consuming, took way too many bowls, and the ending product was kind of a mess. The only thing I can say is that it was, in the end, very delicious. 

So, here is a full recipe and guide on how to make Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake (and bonus cake pops). Good luck, you’re going to need it. 

Ingredients*:

Tangerine Syrup

1 1/2 cups (about 4) tangerines, fully peeled

1/2 cup water

1 1/4 cups white sugar

The Cake

1/2 cup butter

1 cup white sugar

2 eggs

Tangerine syrup (measurements above)

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1 3/4 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 cup of milk

Tangerine Berry Glaze

2 tangerines, zested and fully peeled

6 oz. (one carton) blackberries

6 oz. (one carton) blueberries

1 1/2 cups of sugar, food processed but not powdered

4 tablespoons of butter, softened

4 tablespoons of milk

1/3 cup agave syrup

Cake Pops

1 9″ round tangerine cake

1/2 cup Pillsbury cream cheese frosting

Cake Pop Frosting

Remaining Pillsbury cream cheese frosting

1/2 cup tangerine berry glaze

* - These are pretty good, but general approximations of the ingredients I actually used because this cake threw me for a loop and tested my imagination. Nothing worked like it was supposed to... literally.

Now, on to the disaster. 

Instructions: 

The Cake

First, peel 4 tangerines. Separate each of the sections of fruit and peel the skin off of the small sections.

Add the peeled pieces of tangerine to a medium saucepan with half a cup of water and 1 1/4 cups of white sugar.

Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring continuously to prevent burning. Once a boil has been reached, lower the temperature and bring the mixture down to a simmer.

Use a tool of your choice to mash the fruit as the syrup simmers. Once the fruit is mashed, continue stirring the mixture as it thickens and boils down. This process will take about ten minutes.

After ten minutes, pour the mixture into a food processor and blend until there are no large chunks of pulp left. Then, set the mixture aside to cool as you prepare the batter.

Before starting your batter, set the oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit and allow it to heat up as you work.

Add half a cup of butter, cold, to a bowl with one cup of white sugar. Use a mixer to cream the sugar and butter together.

Once it’s been creamed, add two eggs and mix again with the mixer until the ingredients have been evenly incorporated.

Next, add the flour, baking power, and now-cooled tangerine syrup to the bowl. Fold the ingredients together until there are no chunks of flour and the syrup is fully integrated. Then, fold in the milk.

Pour the batter evenly into two, nine inch round cake pans that have been greased thoroughly with butter or a baking grease of your choice. Crisco is a great alternative!

Bake the cakes at 350 degrees fahrenheit for 30 to 40 minutes. Ours were brown at the edges and cooked all the way through at 35 minutes, but based on your oven the time may vary.

Allow the cakes to cool in their pans, and then carefully turn one of them onto a plate for glazing. If it breaks, no problems! You can just use the other one.

If both cakes survive their trips out of the pan, you can use the tangerine berry glaze both between the layers and on top of the cake. If only one survives, simply put the glaze over top, and set the other, broken cake aside for cake pops.

The Glaze

Take one cup of white sugar and put it in a food processor. Blend it, but don’t do it enough for it to be fully powdered. Be impatient. Cut corners. In the end, you should have sugar with granules that are smaller than normal, but not quite small enough to be considered powdered sugar.

Zest two tangerines. Once you’ve collected all the zest you can, peel them, section them, and take the skin off of the small sections.

Put the tangerine zest and peeled tangerine sections in a food processor, and add your blueberries and blackberries. Next, add your slightly powdered sugar, your melted butter, and your milk. 

Use the food processor to combine the ingredients. The mixture, when fully processed, should be slightly chunky, kind of like a jam! Transfer the mixture from the food processor into a sauce pan.

Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring regularly to prevent burning. Once it is at a boil, add your agave syrup. From there, lower the heat and allow the mixture to simmer for 15 minutes as you continue to stir.

If you are only making the cake, pour the glaze over the first cake, put the second layer on top, finally topping the whole cake with the remaining glaze. If you are making cake pops, set aside half a cup of glaze and use the rest to top your single layer cake.

The Cake Pops

If your cake, like ours, came out of the pan in five separate pieces, not to worry! There’s still hope for you yet, unlike Kai.

Put the crumbled pieces of your ruined cake in a bowl with 1/4 of a cup of pillsbury canned cream cheese frosting, preferably one that has sat in your cupboard for a few months after another failed baking experiment. 

Get your hands dirty! Crush the cake with your hands to combine it with the frosting and turn it into a thick, doughy substance.

Once the frosting and cake are combined, add half a cup of your tangerine berry glaze to the dough and mix it in by hand again. The ending product will look kind of grey-ish???? and will have little bits of tangerine and blueberry skin throughout.

Roll the completed dough into balls. It should make about ten large pops, but more if you make them smaller. 

Set the rolled balls onto a plate covered with wax paper, and add a cake pop skewer to each ball. Toothpicks would work too, I’m not one to judge. Even chopsticks might work if you really have no other options. 

Put the newly skewered balls in the freezer until they harden enough to withstand being dipped in hot frosting. While they cool, prepare that.

Melt the remaining cream cheese icing in the microwave. I put it in for about 45 seconds after ripping the label off the plastic container and it worked well. 

Add half a cup of your glaze into the icing and mix until they are fully combined. 

Once your cake pops have hardened, take them out of the freezer and dip them into the liquid frosting, returning them to their plate to cool. Once they’re all frosted, return the plate to the freezer until the frosting forms a shell around the cake pop.

When it comes time to enjoy your cake pops, remove them from the freezer and then cry, as you find that they’ve become very stuck to the wax paper and refuse to come off. Use a knife and your fingers to try to pry them off, only to smash them a little in the process. Even better, do this while the icing is still slightly tacky! It will make it all the more frustrating.

Then, viola! You have a cake and some cake pops to share with your divine ruler!

In Conclusion

This cake was an experience.

It’s hard to rate this, because I haven’t made any of the others yet, but I’m extremely sure that it will be at the back of the pack. I can only hope none of the others are as terrible as this one was. I give it a 3/10.

On the bright side, it was tasty. 

I like to think that this entire process is very reminiscent of Kai himself. It looks like a mess on the outside, and it’s a mess on the inside too. The only redeeming factor to both of them is that they’re yummy...

If I had to assign benign meaning to the actual parts of the cake, the blueberry glaze represents Kai’s awful blue dye job, while the tangerine cake is orange like the president he loves so much. A big thank you to @oublierlegarcon​ for giving me the idea of making this Kai’s cake. It’s extremely fitting

I have no clue who will come next, only time will tell, but I hope you enjoyed this disaster as much as I did. Until next time, goodbye!

[godzilla-reads]

100 Days of Poetry: Day 45

Moss-Gathering by Theodore Roethke

To loosen with all ten fingers held wide and limber

And lift up a patch, dark-green, the kind for lining cemetery baskets,

Thick and cushiony, like an old-fashioned doormat,

The crumbling small hollow sticks on the underside mixed with roots,

And wintergreen berries and leaves still stuck to the top, —

That was moss-gathering.

But something always went out of me when I dug loose those carpets

Of green, or plunged to my elbows in the spongy yellowish moss of the marshes:

And afterwards I always felt mean, jogging back over the logging road,

As if I had broken the natural order of things in that swampland;

Disturbed some rhythm, old and of vast importance,

By pulling off flesh from the living planet;

As if I had committed, against the whole scheme of life, a desecration.

[megamegaturtle]

golden syrup

Rating: G

Relationships: Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter (Friendship)

Tags: Post-War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Baking, Self-Love, Male-Female Friendship, Platonic Hand Holding, POV Harry Potter

Summary:

Golden syrup: a thick amber-coloured form of inverted sugar syrup that tastes delicious on scones, hot cakes, and treacle tart with a buttery, caramel flavor.

Golden: something Harry Potter hasn't felt in a long while.

[the one in which Luna teaches Harry how to bake]

(For the Dumbledore's Armada Discord Flash Comp: Magic Begins From Within! Winner for Overall Favorite, Best Platonic Friendship, and Best Use of Prompt!)

Read it here on Ao3

Harry Potter welcomes the new year with a six-pack of beer and booming fireworks. It smells like war. Gunpowder screams overhead and the lively colors flash before his eyes, but no one dies at the tip of a wand. He trembles, his muscles are weak, and he is defenseless. 

With each explosion, he relives every death. Cedric, in the graveyard, his face devoid of red. Green howls on the top of the Astrometry Tower and Dumbledore falls. Sirius, in a flash of blue, his body gone in a blink.   

Change feels like swimming in the desolate waters of the Black Lake. It is numb and no one can save him, but Harry still swims. He longs for the shore, but breath is scarce, just like his seconds. He doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring, but he waits for it with a guarded heart.

Life slows in solitude, Harry decides. It is as cozy as an empty flat that has a drafty window. Winter creeps in every crevice and rustles the tops of cardboard boxes. Loneliness nestles in the space where his friends used to stand, but Ron and Hermione are moving on to tomorrow, with or without a plan.

He sits in a deserted living room, a ratty couch as his lonesome furniture. He stares out the window, the gray sky frozen in the sunlight. It does not thaw as the sun moves across the day. He sits there frozen too and welcomes snow to fall over his soul. He wants to be buried under soft white until he sinks into the cold. 

He is the aftermath of war.

He is the definition of lost.

But someone finds him anyway.

The knock on his door is light, but persistent. The knocks continue even after a full minute. Harry gets up, his knees creak and his joints sore. He drags his feet just like his blanket clings to the floor. He trips over a cheap rum bottle; the glass echoes a shrill laugh in his flat.

His fingers glue to the doorknob and shake at welcoming someone into nothing. Hot disappointment whispers in his ear, and warm, breathy shame is enough to propel him into battle. Harry plants his feet to the ground, his body tenses for a fight. He clenches his jaw into a familiar ache.

Harry prepares for someone to drag him into a hug. He expects someone to force him back to a life with obligations. But Luna Lovegood only pauses her knocking and takes a step back. Grocery bags rest at her feet and her bottle cap necklace jingles like a blessing. She smiles up at him like she saw him yesterday.

“Hello, Harry,” she says. “I like your blanket cape.”

A blush paints his cheeks, and he clears his throat, his voice raspy. “Hey, Luna.” 

Luna stares at him patiently from the threshold as Harry opens the door wide enough for her to enter. She does not comment on the state of his empty flat or how it’s been so long since she’s seen him. She only asks to be directed to the kitchen. He leads her with slow steps, each movement heavy on his person. Luna trails behind him, and the items in her bags jostle together as a cheery chime.

Without help, she hoists the bags onto the counter and takes everything out: golden syrup, ginger, and other baking ingredients. She rests a pie tin to one side and a few mixing bowls and some utensils to the other. Carefully, she pulls out a handwritten recipe and reads it once before putting it on the counter too.

Harry licks his lips, desperately wishing he had a glass of water. “Luna, not that I’m not happy to see you—”

“But you’re not happy to see me, Harry,” she interrupts. “You haven’t been happy to see anyone.”

“Okay, fair enough, but—”

“I am happy to see you though,” she interrupts again, her smile honest and sweet. Her smile cuts like crystalized honey. It has sat too long in the opened container in the pantry, forgotten. 

Harry swallows his growing irritation; burning anger kept tight under a lid. “Right, well—thank you, but what are you doing?”

Luna blinks and gestures to her ingredients. “Isn’t it obvious? We’re making a treacle tart. Mother said the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“I’m sorry—what?” Harry sputters. “You want—my heart?!”

“No, Harry,” she sighs. “We’re making this so you can get through to your own heart. You like treacle tart and I brought Mum’s recipe.”

“Luna, I don’t—I don’t need to get through to my heart. I’m  fine. Perfectly and utterly  fine.”

Luna only hums and begins reciting the instructions. “Okay, first we must make the short crust pastry. Hermione said it’s easier the Muggle way, so I am willing to try, but I don’t know the Muggle way. Anyway, Step 1) gather the flour, butter, and very cold water. Step 2) place 272 grams of flour in the mixing bowl—272 grams? That’s such an odd number. Okay, place 272 grams of flour with 2 sticks of butter, cubed, and—” 

Luna pauses when Harry does not move and points to the counter. “Harry, what are you doing? I can’t make the tart by myself.”

Tension in his chest crawls up his throat. “Yes, you can. I didn’t even ask you to come over here today. I said I was fine and you’re—I don’t need a bloody tart, Luna! I just want to be left alone.”

Luna puts down the recipe. “Harry,” she whispers. She says his name as if he’s precious. “I don’t want you to be alone the same way—the same way you didn’t want me to be alone.” She reaches across the counter and touches the back of his hand. “I just want to help you find your shoes, Harry. Can I—will you let me help you find your shoes?”

Her chilled fingertips carry the weight of friendship in their gentle touch. Twigs crunch under their feet. They laugh as teenagers laugh. They love as teenagers love. Magic weaves into all their moments of silence, never forcing either to speak.

Luna’s pale blue eyes find him with kindness, her heart an anchor when he feels so far away. Harry wonders if he is a ghost now, but Luna’s hand wraps around his and she tugs him away from gunpowder explosions, pulling him out of darkness to stand by her side. She is the lifeline in the Black Lake, skipping like a stone across the water to the other side. She takes him with her and for once, Harry does not feel like he’s drowning.

Smiling doesn't feel right, but he clings to her hand. “Okay, Luna. We can make a treacle tart.”

She beams at him and begins reading the instructions again.

Harry was always a decent student, but in the stillness with Luna, Harry listens. He makes the crust as she instructs and makes the filling too. Together they watch the golden syrup simmer over the hob with juicy lemon and mix it with breadcrumbs. They beat the egg and cream together with a fork, but never has Harry felt more sure about a moment. Luna has never asked him to face his own crossroads. 

His chilly flat warms with the oven and the loneliness thaws with Luna’s laughter. She charms his blanket into a real cape, and it fastens around his neck with a simple button. She says it suits him.

The timer buzzes and Luna dons lion oven mitts. Heat pours out of the oven as she opens it and delicious buttery caramel wafts under their noses. Harry’s mouth waters as he watches steam rise from tart, tasting the sweet syrup in the air.

“Very good, Harry Potter,” Luna praises. She rests the tart on the table and performs a cooling spell. “The golden-brown color reminds me of the hares we see in the garden during spring.”

“...is that a good thing? That sounds like a good thing. ”

She peers at him with a small smile. “Of course. They never played tricks on us when we fed them fresh berries from our bushels.”

Luna fishes out a bowl of clotted cream she kept tight under a statis charm. The pie cools to perfect temperature with the aid of her magic, and she spells some plates to set themselves at the table. They whiz around the room until they lay calmly like little birds. Together, they sit at his small kitchen table for two. Luna pours them both a glass of milk and serves them each a slice of tart. She tops their slices with a delicious helping of sweet, clotted cream.

Harry holds his fork with trepidation, the humble slice gooey at the edges of its filling. The toasted breadcrumbs feel crunchy under his fork, but he is too nervous to slice it.

Luna’s foot touches his under the table. “Go on, Harry,” she says. “Try it. You deserve it.”

Harry meets her eyes only for a moment, but then he nods, bracing himself as the metal of his fork hits the ceramic plate. The sound snaps like a crumbled bell, but still rings with finality. With nerves on fire, he takes his first bite with dolloped cream.

Buttery warmth melts in his mouth, the hint of slight spice and sweetness oozing in all his bones. He sinks in his chair as he relishes the delicate pastry crust, the flakey layers dissolving on his tongue. The cream cuts the sweetness, so it is not overbearing, but remains pleasant like a tender kiss.

Luna props her chin in her hand and grins at him. “How does it feel to fall in love with something you made?”  

Harry blinks at her words, startled by their genuine curiosity, and he remembers the dough as it stuck to his skin. His hands still smell like lemon and when he bends his index finger, a cut stings from the juice. The pie in front of him unassumingly sits in in the middle of the table, enveloping him in kind warmth and wonderful memories.

His mouth wobbles as he takes a second bite, and Harry remembers his Hogwart’s letter. Another, the first time he made friends. He eats more and remembers Hermione’s fierce hugs when she thought no one was looking. A thick part of filling and he can feel the comfort from Ron’s laughter as they stayed up all night. At the very last bite, he remembers dancing with the girl across the table when no music played just because she wanted to dance.

Like the sun dawning, emotion wells at the corners of Harry’s eyes and his chest caves as he hunches over the table. He heaves a choked sob as he curls around his finished plate, the loneliness in his heart thawing in the warmth of a home cooked treat. Blindly, he pats the table, searching for Luna’s hand. Her icy fingers thread between his and squeeze tight as she kisses his knuckles. Her thumb traces over the spot where her lips touched.

She says nothing, but he hears her heart: I am here with you. 

Love builds inside him and spreads to tips of his toes, igniting a fire of forgiveness in its wake. In the trail of flames, he saves some love for himself. 

Magic washes over him when Luna squeezes his hand once more. With a teary laugh, he sits up and wipes his face. Luna looks at him as if he is handsome as she wears a content smile. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, the snow inside his body melting in Luna’s bright friendship.

Harry cups his hands around Luna’s, relishing in the peace that settles over him.

He smiles for the first time in a long while.

“Thank you, Luna.”

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

A Never-Ending Feast

Yes, it is me again. Really we all should have expected this, but when Jester pulled out Heroes' Feast in episode 105, my friend alixcat basically said, yeah, you are writing a fic about Jester using Heroes' Feast right? And I was like....yeah, you right. I'm back on my Labor of Love bullshit 24/7. This one's for you!

Jester often shows love through acts of service, OR 5 times that Jester summoned a feast for others and the 1 time she made a feast for herself.

Bon appetit!

Read on AO3

Preview:

The trudge to the inn was a terrible one. It was one of those summer days that clung to your skin and sowed misery with the humidity. It was almost a relief for it to start raining, but as soon as it did the wind howled and shook the trees with intensity, and the sky cracked open with lightning and thunder. Yasha looked unbothered by the storm, but Beau grumbled and trudged her way through the front door of the inn looking like she had been personally insulted. It didn’t help that when they ordered food, all they received was burnt chicken and wilted vegetables coated in oil. 

“I can’t believe we spent money on this shit,” Beauregard snapped, her temper hot and lashing like a whip. She cast a dirty look to the innkeeper, who plainly ignored it and continued on with their day.  

“I know what will make us all feel better,” Jester said, fluttering her fingers with her excitement. “I have that new spell that makes the food! Everyone, let’s go upstairs to our room and I’ll make us a feast!” 

“I’m down,” Fjord said, picking up a particularly sad looking green bean from his plate and watching it flop around in an extremely unappetizing manner, not that Jester ever believed that beans were good. They were one of those things that Mama swore were good for her, but if they were so good for her then maybe they ought to taste good too! Regardless of her feelings about green beans, the Mighty Nein all followed Jester up to their room, where she settled down on a blanket and pulled out her jewel encrusted goblet. For a moment she prayed, and then the Traveler’s energy pulsed through her. 

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask. 

I’m thinking...summer! The kind of things you would eat on a beautiful summer day, the kind of summer day that Beau would love, not whatever this shitty day is!

Magic overflowed from the goblet, and out from the ground plates patterned with flowers, and bowls of porcelain began to appear like they were sprouting flowers and tall grasses. Strawberry shortcakes with dollops of indulgent creams that were scented of vanilla and the zest of lemons, peach crumbles with layers of streusel flavored with the warming spices of ginger and cinnamon to give it just a punch of flavor. Scoops of coconut ice cream covered in toasted coconuts and topped with pineapple sauce and bright cherries. Bananas dipped in chocolate and covered in toasted nuts and strawberries, slices of banana cream pie and rhubarb pie. 

Veth picked up a glass bowl containing a trifle half the size of her body, layers of cake soaked in rum, blueberry sauce, custard, berries, and jelly that was arranged like a large fruit display. Caleb began cutting slices of a pavlova, sweet toasted meringue garnished with kiwis, passionfruit, strawberries and cream. Yasha and Fjord were busy sharing a pineapple upside down cake and coconut ice cream, as Beau worked on her own plate that she stacked high with pies baked into jars. 

“I’ve never had iced tea before,” Caduceus said, taking a long indulgent sip from a glass.“Would you like some?” 

“Oh yes!” Jester said as she took the glass. It was iced tea as her Mama made it, the signature Nicodranas brew layered with black-citrus tea with sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk. Jester sighed as the flavors mingled on her tongue. She took a mouthful of streusel next, sighing as the tender peach melted her in mouth with the brown sugar and coconut and made the flavor of summer. She dipped forkfuls of banana cream pie in pineapple sauce, cut chocolate covered bananas to add to her slice of pavlova. She took indulgent sips of different drinks to refresh her palate and add more flavor, watermelon tea or frosted lemonade or fizzing fruity floats with scoops of ice cream that melted into foam that lapped at the edge of goblets the size of bowls. 

By the time the hour was up and the feast vanished, Jester had truly eaten her fill. She sighed as she settled into bed that night. For a moment she swore she felt Beau’s eyes on her. 

“Thanks Jester,” Beau said, voice rough with feeling. “That did hit the spot.” 

“Of course,” Jester said with a smile that Beau couldn’t see. “Any time.” 

______________________________________

They sat camped outside the dungeon, in the bubble as Caleb meticulously casted. The villagers there had complained about something coming up from the depths of the old abandoned mine. Jester wondered idly if it could be gnolls again, but based on what Fjord and Beau had discovered while snooping about it seemed to be something far more...trickey. 

“We just don’t know what we are gonna be walking into,” Fjord said worriedly as he balanced the Star Razor across his knees. Yasha who had been minding the perimeter came back and settled down, looking a bit unnerved. Jester felt a quiet sense of concern for her. It really was awful how she kept getting mind-controlled all the time! Jester would need to talk to the Traveler about that some time to see if she could help. 

“If we hit it hard enough, it’ll fall,” Veth said, cocking her crossbow confidently. 

“It might not hurt to prepare ourselves though,” Caleb said as he sat himself down next to Veth. Caleb then caught Jester’s attention with an awkward wave.  “Jester, would you be, perhaps, capable of creating that feast again? To...ah...bolster our efforts?” 

“Yeah, yeah yeah yeah,” Jester said thinking about it. “I can do that today!”

“Can you include some meat?” Veth said, picking at her teeth. “Any at all?” 

“I have to give Caduceus something to eat!” Jester said, reminding Veth as she pulled out her bowl. 

“Aw, that’s nice,” Caduceus hummed as he fixed his sleeping bag. 

Jester settled it on the ground, and as she had done before she called the Traveler’s power to her. 

What kind of feast shall it be today? Jester heard the Traveler ask. 

I’m thinking...warm and filling! Something crisp like an apple on a brisk fall day, and the flavors of a Harvest Close Festival. 

And there on plates and bowls patterned with leaves in brilliant autumn colors was their feast. A whole roast duck glazed with orange sauce and served on a platter on a smear of plum applesauce with skin so crispy that it cracked when Caleb took his first bite. Bowls full of sunny pumpkin soup topped with crisped onion, that paired perfectly with loaves of bread that were stuffed with fennel-pork sausage that Beau downed so quickly that Jester was half sure it would be more effective to just raise the bowl to her lips. Rabbit in rosemary-wine sauce, served with sides of potatoes mixed together with a spicy savory mustard, and mushroom risotto with rice so tender it brought tears to the eyes. 

And then of course dessert, which Jester was mostly concerned about and wouldn’t dare to stint on the servings. Apple pie with cinnamon-sugar dusted on crumbling crusts. Baked apples covered luxuriously thick caramel sauce and covered in peanuts, and elephant ears swirled in cinnamon and drizzled with frosting. There were slices of smooth and glossy pumpkin pie and crunchy and delicately sweet pecan pies topped with dollops of whipped cream, and sweet potato cheesecake with gingersnap streusel crumbled on top. Goblets were full of apple cider, or hot chocolate with toasted marshmallows and drizzled with salted caramel, and coffee made buttery and rich with swirls of cream and brown sugar and even pumpkin. Butterscotch cookies pressed into the edges of large glasses of milk were what caught Jester's eyes first and foremost. 

"This is my favorite thing," Jester said as she dipped the warm cookie into the glass of milk that had a rim encrusted with chocolate dust and cinnamon sugar, sighing as the butter, crunchy edges of the cookie, and the sweetened warm milk melted together in perfect harmony. Veth pressed in close to her, finishing off her plate before grabbing a glass of milk and cookies. 

"This reminds me of when I was a girl," Veth laughed, her eyes misty. "But my mother wasn't nearly as good of a cook as your magic is." 

“Aw, thank you,” Jester chirped, trading her now empty glass for a new plate and taking bites from pecan pie and long sips from cream-pumpkin-coffee. She gave Veth a side hug that Veth gladly leaned in to. 

"It really is lovely," Caleb said, with a soft reflective look of his own as he stopped up soup with a piece of bread. His dark fingers sweeping around in a well practiced movement before popping the last piece of bread in his mouth. 

“Hey, save some for the rest of us,” Beauregard teased as she elbowed Caleb. 

“There’s plenty to share,” Veth argued with no heat. “I’ll make you a plate.” 

Jester said nothing, but cuddled more firmly against Veth's side as she enjoyed her cookies in milk, thinking of a time with her own mother and perhaps something like this. 

_______________________________

The ship rocked them back and forth as they gathered in the captain’s quarters. Jester had been full of energy ever since she learned that today was Fjord’s birthday. He had asked for nothing big or special, trying to argue that he couldn’t know his actual birthday and that he was getting too old for celebrations, but all of them had gotten him gifts regardless. Small little useful things, because Fjord would have surely refused anything more than that. Once the others had finish gifting things to Fjord, which he took with an increasingly tender and misty-eyed expression, Jester pulled out her jeweled goblet and set it upon the table. She casted the spell as she usually did, feeling her chest fill with the energy of her god.  

What kind of feast are we having today? The Traveler asked curiously. 

A celebration! Jester responded exuberantly.  A fancy dinner party!

Upon the table that Fjord had set up, the plates and bowls and trays appeared, bubbling up from the spell like little boats buoyed on the water. A sweet and creamy lobster bisque, besides a tray of mussels steamed in white wine garlic and lemon juice, and nestled between buckwheat galettes made of salmon, capers, and dill. Mashed potatoes that were made smooth and rich with exorbitant amounts of butter found a place next to plates of mushrooms and gnocchi in a tomato cream sauce, and spicy butternut squash soup. Crispy crab cakes with a rainbow of dipping sauces in bowls shaped like shells and baked oysters dusted with spices and cheese. There was even a whole braised octopus in the center of the table, arranged among slices of lemon. 

“I’ve never had anything like this,” Caleb admitted as he looked at the perfect slices of raw tuna in a loose approximation of a raw bar. “Is this supposed to be raw?” 

“It tastes pretty good,” Veth said, scooping up her own serving of the ceviche of raw tuna marinated in lime juice and tossed with onions, tomatoes, avocados, and cilantro. She slurped down mussels at an alarming rate and did her best to encourage Caleb to cry the crispy calamari with the garlic aioli and the steamer swimming in butter. 

"Look, our favorite!" Fjord said, sharing a knowing look with Beau and Yasha as he motioned to the plate full of fried fish and potatoes with tartar sauce. Beau and Yasha laughed as they loaded up their plates, pressing the flaky white fish into sandwiches made from the warm fresh white bread. 

“What’s for dessert?” Caduceus asked curiously. 

“Chocolate! You can’t really have a birthday without a chocolate cake,” Jester said excitedly as she moved to cut slices of a decadent chocolate cake, moist and sweet and filled with chocolate cream and raspberry sauce, settled besides saucers of chocolate mousse, and crisp cannolis filled with sweetened ricotta and chocolate chips. Chocolate covered strawberries were gathered in a luxurious array of white, milk, and dark and covered with nuts and candies. Stacks of salted caramel millionaire’s shortbread with crisp butter-cookie sandwiching layers of caramel and covered in chocolate, even bubbling pots of chocolate and caramel fondue with a wide array of fruits and snacks to dip into the heavenly smelling liquid. 

“Thank you, Jester,” Fjord said with a wide smile that had lantern-light glinting off his tusk. “Thank you all of you. This has really been the best birthday I have ever had.” 

“Don’t forget to blow out your candles!” Jester said, offering him a slice of his cake. Beauregard reached over to the goblet and pulled out a candle, passing it to Veth who planted it on his cake. Caleb reached out to punch the candle and it lit and began to glow. 

Fjord blew out his candle, and closed his eyes to make a wish. As she took a bite of her own slice of cake and then dipping a forkful in the chocolate fondue, she wondered if any wish could top this simple pleasure as she pressed it against the top of her mouth so it could just melt away bit by bit and she could savor it. She would try to savor it all, for as long as she could. 

____________________________

No one enjoyed trudging through a swamp, especially not Caduceus. Jester knew the Wildmother was a powerful god god, but it seemed to her that she could look out for Caduceus a little better. Jester found that the task often went to her, and of course she didn’t mind. Caduceus was steady as a rock, let Jester braid his hair, and listened intently whenever Jester rambled. The least Jester could do was yank Caduceus out of muck puddles whenever he fell in them, in return for being such a good friend. Jester could tell though that Caduceus was relieved when they stopped for the night, and Yasha who had fallen into a bush of prickers was just as excited to be bedding down. They would have a hard day ahead of them the next day, this Jester knew. So when Yasha quietly asked her if she could cast Heroes’ Feast to aid them, Jester already knew what was on the menu. 

What sort of feast tickles your fancy, my dear Jester? The Traveler asked her. 

Now seems as good a time as any to have an afternoon tea!

At night?

Of course, duh!

I do love the way you think. The Traveler chuckled as the goblet summoned for them their feast, spreading it about the dome.  

Their afternoon tea was spread out on three tier and four tier porcelain stands decorated in flowering vines, kettles appeared and whistled merrily as they did as did beautiful tea sets in a variety of flowering colors and painted with rabbits and ducklings. Nestled among the kettles and tea cups were pots of toppings, from sunshine yellow lemon curd to vibrant marmalade and a treasure trove of jams to clotted cream and thick yellow custard. There was a stand of finger sandwiches all cut in diagonals, like cucumber and herbal butter, watercress and fluffy egg salad, prosciutto and goat cheese, and smoked salmon and cream cheese.  One that Jester scooped up was a fluffernutter that made Jester smile. The next stand was a twisting array of scones filled with fruit or berries or nuts or spiced with cinnamon in turn, hearty spiced pumpkin muffins, blueberry muffins, lemon-poppy seed muffins, and danishes filled with jams or sweet cheeses and dusted with sugar or drizzled with vanilla frosting. And then of course, the cookies. Trays of cookies from madeleines with their shell-like filigree edges to smooth as button macarons to stacks of simple butter cookies and shortbread surrounded them like patches of wildflowers. 

“Oh Jester, this is wonderful,” Caduceus sighed into his cup of tea. “Let me pour you a cup?” 

Jester nodded enthusiastically as Caduceus poured her a cup of ruby-red tea. Jester took a sip and was immediately struck by the gorgeous strawberry almost malty note of it. Dipping in a shortbread cookie and eating it made her whimper with the sublime pleasure. The shortbread simply melted into her mouth like a dream, like it was meant to be together. 

“It’s too bad we can’t stop for an afternoon tea every day,” Jester sighed as she excitedly cut open a scone to layer it with clotted cream and blueberry jam and lemon curd. Caleb watched her do this and mirrored it, though adding far less then she did of all three toppings except the lemon curd. Jester didn’t understand why he was being so stingy, but not everyone could truly appreciate sweets as she did. 

“I can’t eat rich food too often,” Beauregard admitted as she cornered the market on tiny finger sandwiches. “It’s a nice once in a while thing, but otherwise it screws up my workout routine.”   

“This is magic food though,” Veth pointed out. “Does it really count?”

“Tastes the same, and feels the same in my stomach,” Beauregard said with a shrug. 

“What are these tiny orange things?” Yasha asked as she eyed a canape. 

“That would be salmon roe,” Fjord explained and when seeing Yasha’s befuddled reaction further explained, “fish eggs.” 

“Tasty,” Yasha said, offering no more explanation on that as she popped it in her mouth. 

“All we need now is a fancy place to sleep,” Jester said excitedly as she poured another cup of tea and tried that one. This tea was bright and citrus and with a strong floral note, that perfectly matched the lemon-poppy seed muffin and was smoothed by the lemon-vanilla frosting on top. “You guys have got to try this tea! I’ll get everyone a cup!” 

“It tastes like flowers,” Veth said, doing that thing where it sounded like she was complaining but she really wasn’t.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Caduceus asked, smile sweet on his face. Yasha smiled too, but didn’t say a word. 

_____________________________________________

In Jester’s nightmares, there was a different kind of feast. 

The room itself was familiar, and Jester could almost feel like she shouldn’t be there but couldn’t remember why in the haze of the dream. There was a single window above the door, casting the glow of a red and violet twilight across the room that was cluttered with bottles and jars and strange books and drying herbs. The only other light was fat candles of yellow-beeswax, choked by glass and made dim, and the dying embers of a hearth. The table was set for two, and yet as Jester looked around she was the only one in the cramped little home. Even the ceiling cages swung empty and creaking amongst the wooden slots. Jester took a seat, and just as she did she saw her goblet sat in the center of the empty table. 

Her goblet overflowed, and out of the spreading liquid came a menagerie of sweets. Jester set herself upon them all with a reckless abandon. A strange sludge in a crusty bowl ended up being blueberry soups with dollops of sweet cream, overturned cups ended up being creme brulee with glistening caramel crusted on the tops, casseroles full of bread pudding steaming with cinnamon and drizzled with butterscotch and topped with ice cream flecked with ice cream. There was a bouquet of flowers that filled the air with their sugary scent, that as Jester plucked a beautiful pink bloom melted into her mouth with the flavor of rosehip and fairy floss. Forks melted in between her fingers and she realized they were made of chocolate, and the placemats were now made of crunchy honeycomb. She bit into her glass only to realize it was made of shards of sugar flavored with mint and the liquid within like pressed and sweetened lemons and melons. She took more ravenous bites, filled her plate high and yet somehow treats continued to spring from that never-ending goblet-

The liquid from her goblet splashed and overflowed as it turned over under the weight and gushed out like a strange pulsing wound, dripping off the edges of the tables and onto Jester’s skirt and seeped in. She recoiled from the sensation, scurrying away as she swiped at it with her fingers. With her vision and the dim light she could see that the liquid was a oily black. The candles all flickered as if shuddered by a breeze, the smoke hazy and twisting as it tickled the low-hanging herbs that were drying from the ceiling. The liquid began to splatter onto the scratched and dusty floor, pitter-pattering at an ever-increasing rate.  

“Now, now my dear,” a familiar croaking voice said as a large hand settled upon her shoulder, fingernails slicing past layers of her cloak. Jester could hear the cracking of dusty-joints and the lumbering crunch of her footsteps. “You have prepared such a feast for me.” 

“I...uh…” Jester squeaked as she felt a too long finger mind her neck. She didn’t dare to move, afraid that such a movement would slit her own throat, but let Isharnai tip her chin up and back so Jester could see the witch hunched over her.  

“Such a precious giving girl,” Isharnai cooed, and her strange face came into focus, dull green eyes searching Jester for some truth that Jester desperately didn’t want to admit. “So full of misery. What a treat you are.” 

“I’m not,” Jester said, her heart pulsing quick and fast in her ears. Her fingers were slick with the black liquid now, it was up to her thighs now bunching and collecting her skirts and glueing them to her legs. But it was her fingers-suddenly she couldn’t move them, as if she had gone numb at the wrist. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breathe as suddenly the panic overtook her. Where were her friends? Where had everyone gone-? 

“We are friends. Friends don’t lie to each other,” Isharnai said, voice cruel with softness. “Now come, don’t you want your last cupcake?” 

-Jester looked up to the table again and saw wilted flowers and cracked bowls and something bleeding-it was a heart and it was still beating and the whole home contracted and pulsed like it was a thing alive and in the center of it all there was a single cupcake that glistened with gold and-

What a horrible dream! The Traveler’s voice swept across her mind like the wind on a winding path. For a moment she felt like she was falling and yet she didn’t fear as the wind carried the scent of autumn. No need for this, sleep now Jester and know I am with you. 

And so the color of her dreams changed, and she slipped into something safe. 

____________________________

The girl behind the counter was a teenager, fresh faced and with her hair in twin braids. She had a dusting of freckles across her thin nose and smiled happily when Jester walked through the door of the little bakery in the nowhere town that they had stopped in for the night. It was bright and early the next morning, and Jester had snuck out apart from her friends in hopes of finding something that answered her prayers. The Traveler truly was with her in this endeavour. 

"What can I get you this morning?" 

"What do you have?" 

"Would you like savory or sweet?" 

"Sweet, always sweet," Jester said seriously, because sweets were no laughing matter at all. 

"We have muffins, blueberry, cinnamon swirl, and cornbread. We also have cinnamon rolls, and we do have cupcakes." 

"What kind of cupcakes?" Jester asked excitedly. 

"We have a honey-apple cupcake, gingerbread cupcake, and a carrot cake cupcake. The carrot cake is our topseller." 

"Carrot cake," Jester grumbled, feeling her nose scrunch. She knew that it was a popular flavor, but she just couldn't wrap her mind around a vegetable in a cake. But she did know from Beau's grumbles that she enjoyed carrot cake even though, as Caleb had pointed out, it was rather nerdy and old-fashioned of her. Beau had given him a solid punch in the arm at the teasing and had disagreed in the way she did where she wasn't really disagreeing but more arguing for the sake of arguing. "Alright, I'll take a dozen, but like a mixed dozen. Four of each flavor?" 

"Absolutely, that'll be four silver." 

Jester slid the girl six silver and smiled. 

"You keep the change," Jester told her and watched as the girl's eyes widened and she nodded vigorously. The girl quickly packed up the cupcakes and tied the box with a string before handing it off to Jester. She smiled and thanked her again before heading off. Jester walked for a little bit, finding the apple tree just outside of the inn that they were saying. Carefully she set her box on the ground as she pulled out her own handkerchief and settled it amongst the roots. She carefully opened the box of cupcakes, careful not to jostle any of them. She lifted one out from the box, the honey-apple cupcake Jester assumed based off of the drizzle of honey that covered the swirl of vanilla buttercream. 

“I thought we might share this,” Jester said as she crossed her legs, feeling the morning dew and the sunshine dappling her face as the trees shifted with a breeze. She lifted the cupcake to her lips and took a bite. She sighed at the flavor of the sweet floral honey infusing the cake with its buttery undertones and mellow vanilla crumble, the sharp flavor of the apple-filling that was syrupy and made decadent with brown sugar and cinnamon and the tang of lemon, and of course the melting buttercream frosting that dissipated like a vanilla cloud. Jester felt a hand touch hers, and a shoulder bump against her own. 

“Thank you, Jester,” the Traveler said whispered and when Jester blinked there was a second bite taken out of her cupcake. 

Jester laughed, and went to take another bite.