#only mine was probably being abused and her one is just possibly adopted

[bugwolfsstuff]

I'm realizing that my little sister is slowly starting to relive my childhood (negative) and the opening to Think of Me Once In A While started playing and I think that just sums the feeling up

[instaquarius]

For full res

"Who do you think you are, Crumbling my Tower?! Dare you disrupt My Temporal Power?! Who are you now, Are you Friend? Are you Foe? I don't know....

The Dark broke Time's flow!!"

So my friend All Sanses are the best#6886/@clearprincessturtle in my discord server got me OBSESSED with Dialga's PMD theme: Fight to the Finish, and I found a lyrical version www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPH0sy… ((To which I've literally been listening to maybe for like- 48 hours give or take???? :'D)) 

And that got me into researching who the frick Primal Dialga was which then resulted in me making another AU off of PTA (PokeTale Ascendance) But also Pokemon Mystery Dungeon which then resulted in me getting hella inspired to make this

Also meet MagiCHARA cuz 1) I honestly feel like Chara would totally become a Magikarp cuz the whole LV20 motif with Chara, like in Genocide when Chara becomes LV20 by taking the players LV, EXP (since Chara is the narrator and she more or less confirms it at the end of genocide that Frisk basically uses her stats) and at LV20 Chara is strong enough to literally yeet the entire game into the void/world/timeline And even ignore TRUE RESETs (since she still remembers your Genocide run and prevents the Player from ever getting the happy pacifist ending and makes the player think she kills everyone on the Surface anyways to show the Player/Frisk that you aren't above consequences and stuff)

And Gyarados according to the pokedex can annihilate entire fucking cities with a single Hyper Beam or something???? (and can also be very very angry, which reminds me of Chara too when you finally meet the first fallen human in Undertale during the Genocide run like she's EXTREMELY pissed at the player for probably killing off all the monsters she loved/died for to save and stuff- *WHich also happens at Level 20 if you let Magikarp evolve into a Gyarados)

2) Also cuz of Chara's self-hatred/hatred for humans + possible abuse makes her feel as if she's worthless/useless/etc. which kinda also fits Magikarp cuz it is also useless until like, level 15 where it finally learns tackle and stuff and idk- I just feel like Magikarp totally fits tbh lol *And maybe I also like the idea Arceus is trolling his daughter and turned her into a Magikarp since she hated being a human so much/hates humanity in general* idk-

but= ye. For the drawing my thoughts were also like: What if the Primal form did something a little extra as well to Dialga instead of just only a color change?? (Hence why in my drawing Dialga has extra fangs, more streamers through out his body pumping in more power the more his anger rises) Since Bulbapedia's explanation for the Primal form for Dialga made it totally sound like it's some sort of corruption or something since Dialga loses all sense of sanity, morals and so on and only focuses on self-preservation and stuff and can even only communicate through growls and roars apparently if Dialga loses too much of his sanity to the Primal state-

And Chara sees this happening to her brother and desperately wants to help him (also for the PMD/PTA AU Dialga either doesnt recognize Chara being his sister since she's a Magikarp now and he remembers her being a human) OR he doesnt remember Chara at all and immediately just assumes she's lying, but Chara remembers being adopted by Arceus and stuff- and idk

And then Palkia in the Post-game also attacks her once he realizes Chara is from a diferent universe altogether *Undertale* And gets pissed thinking she's an enemy for disrupting Space and stuff-

and yeah- thats all I got for this AU tbh

//ALso I know Magikarp is not one of the Starters you can choose to become or whatever in the PMD Universe but frick you okay- Magikarp SHOULD be one for those psycho people like me who likes making games 10 million times harder for no goddamn reason and Magikarp is adorable so REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- XD//

---

For PokeTale: Ascendance

An AU based off of an RP between me and a friend of mine from my discord server discord.gg/pQf9ZsdF6E where the Creation Trio as babies (a time they all cant really fully control their powers and junk) accidentally create a portal into the Undertale Universe and meet Chara and basically Arceus finds Chara and adopts her after finding out about her shitty human parents and Chara ends up helping Arceus raise the babies and basically lives in the Pokemon Universe now

((And ALso yes. Up until the Dialga Boss fight, MagiChara was mostly just there as Moral Support and to be annoying/narrate for Riolu sometimes lol

And also used as occassionally a weapon to be yeeted at Enemies for being annoying and a bew lmao)) 

//FYI: The Riolu has been replaced with Volopi (Togepi but its Volo that's been turned into a Togepi) and thus retconned

Canon version to the PMD-verse of my pokemon/Undertale AU "Poketale: Ascendance" (PTA)

[mzannthropy]

I only know about Camila's dad from watching a DJATS ep 1 reaction video on YouTube. Just his tone of voice gave me bad vibes. In my au,where Warren and Camila are adoptive cousins, I have him being a bad uncle. Idk much else about him,and watching the show would be torture. I watched EP 4,but skipped to the Camilabilly and Julia scenes. I'll probably be projecting onto Camila a lot in my fic,maybe having her dad said what mine did, and possibly being a bad husband. Sorry for rambling lol.

Yeah I can't rewatch the show anytime soon either... it took me three years to rewatch Enola Holmes and, having gone through all five stages of grief and a mini villain arc (two mini villain arcs, actually) with DJATS, it seems really foolish to have wasted so much emotional energy on something as ridiculous and insignificant as fucking Enola Holmes. If I ever do rewatch, it will have to involve a LOT of fast forwarding, I know I'll have to hold the remote control all throughout. (Ironically, Sam was not in the second Enola film bc he was filming DJATS... a fact that made me happy at the time, and now I'm like, geez, thanks, universe, you surely know how to teach me lessons!)

For what it's worth, people have created headcanons from less. From what I recall, nothing in the story contradicts Camila's dad being abusive, it's just as likely to be true as not. Writing, and creating generally, is a good way to let out the bad feelings. I remember reading an article shortly after Trump became president about people writing fanfics about him, in which they made him suffer (in fact I may have written a very thinly veiled story starring a particular politician myself). It can be cathartic, and even therapeutic. That is one of the great things about creativity.

[catnherthoughts]

she felt an emotion 8/18/2023

i apologize for my hiatus. there hasn't been any motive for me to write until now. i know that someone probably sees these and likes them. possibly. now i am here to turn feelings into an art form to be enjoyed by those who frequent tumblr.

i do not think my position is unique. i enjoy the comfort in knowing that there are people in the world that have felt what i am feeling. they know how it felt. they have been in a situation that parallels mine. having separated parents is not uncommon in the slightest and those parents are people. people with flaws and emotions and coping mechanisms that are far from perfect. all we can do as children of these situations is look and learn. cope, hopefully in a better way eventually. i have seen my parents relationship grow and shrink. i have seen them love and hate each other. neither of them are perfect. far from it i would say. I still love them very much. i can only try and empathize with their situation. i think it's odd being put in the middle of these things but as an only child i am not sure i have a choice. i can't remove myself. boundaries are set but nothing changes and i can't control that. i've learned through years if therapy and medication that a more internal approach works the best. my mother can rant all day about how she loves my father and my father can make snarky remarks about how he finds every aspect of her distasteful. they will always so that. despite my efforts of trying to change their behavior, i have personally learned that there is nothing you can do to change a person. that was a very good lesson to learn. i;ve carried that out in my personal life to some extent. it is nto right being in the middle but i cannot do much about it. in turn, i sit and i think and i take these as lesssons. why be alive and living life if you cannot learn and better yourself from harrowing experiences.

I will say that in some aspects i have adopted their behaviors. I am only human. if its not genetic its basic developmental psychology. you learn patterns based on what you see and act as such. I am their daughter. so i beg for those who do not want to be with me and in the same fashion am never emotionally vulnerable. these are things that i am working on. i am very proud of myself for at least recognizing these patterns and wanting to change. that is farther than most go. i have had horrid things happen to me because of these patterns. all of the abuse in the book and such. one thing that i admire is how i learn from these. as a mutable sign i think it's only right that i change and grow. i will say that i have distaste for those who do not even try and put the effort in to learn move on and grow.

growth does not happen immediately. i know this. but there is a certain amount of accountability that you must take and that is one of the most important things.

I just took an hour long dance break. the feeling that triggered this is not there anymore but i will try to do my best to finish this in the most authentic way possible.

accountability is one of the most important things that a person can learn. in this way we can learn and become better. if you don't know there is a problem, we can not try to solve it. i am somewhat of an eternal puzzle. forever there will be missing pieces or pieces of me that i thought were well placed but after looking at the bigger picture see that while that was the best for the time, there are better things i can implement. why be educated formally when you cannot be a good person. there are people who have never been to school that know more than those with a masters. emotional growth is not optional if you do not want to hurt those around you and in turn yourself. community is a garden. pollen and nectar and things of those cyclical natures. the bees don't pollinate to help the flowers, but to get nectar. where would we be without that process? horrid things. we can all be a bit more beelike. by holding yourself more accountable, you can look and see, this is what i need to work on and this will make the life of myself and those around me better. i know a man very well. he took his hurt and ruminated on it. excused his bad behavior based on it rather than healing and doing better. i got hurt by his hurt. it did not help his hurting. very sad that he went through whatever it is he had to go through but we either take these situations and learn or we stay with a dagger in our chest forever. i can love. i can laugh. if i told those around me about what i have been through i think that i would be met with confused stares. there is this narrative that " hurt people hurt people". yada yada. i was hurt. i don't let that define me. i don't do what was done to me to others in a way to replicate what i was feeling onto them. why would i? everyone has a different perspective on things. people can say that i am too soft and malleable and letting the needs of others supersede mine. i know that i am happy and those around me are aswell.

that is the thing with growth. people can tell that you are wise. i attract others based on this. i hope that i am not being put on some pedestal based on how much i have grown. i am still just as flawed as any other human. i just work on my flaws. i fill the life i live with love and i think others know that. i cradle everyone i come across within my arms and kiss them on the cheek. i see their soul and with mine take it in. i give their aura a bath and tuck it in with their favorite stuffed animal. eternal caretaker. it may be too much for some and for others it feels like a euphoria that is too good to be true. alas, i cannot control these things. i just know i get joy from things of this nature. a physical non metaphysical example would be taking care of a man when he felt nauseous. feeding him and giving him a drank form my palms. holding him and giving him comfort. a kiss on the forehead. a but mothering but that kind of love means the most. when the world slices you up and down you have the choice of remaining bits and pieces of what you once were or tending to your wounds and getting better. take all of this how you will

xoxo cathy

[xoxocathyy]

she felt an emotion 8/18/2023

i apologize for my hiatus. there hasn't been any motive for me to write until now. i know that someone probably sees these and likes them. possibly. now i am here to turn feelings into an art form to be enjoyed by those who frequent tumblr.

i do not think my position is unique. i enjoy the comfort in knowing that there are people in the world that have felt what i am feeling. they know how it felt. they have been in a situation that parallels mine. having separated parents is not uncommon in the slightest and those parents are people. people with flaws and emotions and coping mechanisms that are far from perfect. all we can do as children of these situations is look and learn. cope, hopefully in a better way eventually. i have seen my parents relationship grow and shrink. i have seen them love and hate each other. neither of them are perfect. far from it i would say. I still love them very much. i can only try and empathize with their situation. i think it's odd being put in the middle of these things but as an only child i am not sure i have a choice. i can't remove myself. boundaries are set but nothing changes and i can't control that. i've learned through years if therapy and medication that a more internal approach works the best. my mother can rant all day about how she loves my father and my father can make snarky remarks about how he finds every aspect of her distasteful. they will always so that. despite my efforts of trying to change their behavior, i have personally learned that there is nothing you can do to change a person. that was a very good lesson to learn. i;ve carried that out in my personal life to some extent. it is nto right being in the middle but i cannot do much about it. in turn, i sit and i think and i take these as lesssons. why be alive and living life if you cannot learn and better yourself from harrowing experiences.

I will say that in some aspects i have adopted their behaviors. I am only human. if its not genetic its basic developmental psychology. you learn patterns based on what you see and act as such. I am their daughter. so i beg for those who do not want to be with me and in the same fashion am never emotionally vulnerable. these are things that i am working on. i am very proud of myself for at least recognizing these patterns and wanting to change. that is farther than most go. i have had horrid things happen to me because of these patterns. all of the abuse in the book and such. one thing that i admire is how i learn from these. as a mutable sign i think it's only right that i change and grow. i will say that i have distaste for those who do not even try and put the effort in to learn move on and grow.

growth does not happen immediately. i know this. but there is a certain amount of accountability that you must take and that is one of the most important things.

I just took an hour long dance break. the feeling that triggered this is not there anymore but i will try to do my best to finish this in the most authentic way possible.

accountability is one of the most important things that a person can learn. in this way we can learn and become better. if you don't know there is a problem, we can not try to solve it. i am somewhat of an eternal puzzle. forever there will be missing pieces or pieces of me that i thought were well placed but after looking at the bigger picture see that while that was the best for the time, there are better things i can implement. why be educated formally when you cannot be a good person. there are people who have never been to school that know more than those with a masters. emotional growth is not optional if you do not want to hurt those around you and in turn yourself. community is a garden. pollen and nectar and things of those cyclical natures. the bees don't pollinate to help the flowers, but to get nectar. where would we be without that process? horrid things. we can all be a bit more beelike. by holding yourself more accountable, you can look and see, this is what i need to work on and this will make the life of myself and those around me better. i know a man very well. he took his hurt and ruminated on it. excused his bad behavior based on it rather than healing and doing better. i got hurt by his hurt. it did not help his hurting. very sad that he went through whatever it is he had to go through but we either take these situations and learn or we stay with a dagger in our chest forever. i can love. i can laugh. if i told those around me about what i have been through i think that i would be met with confused stares. there is this narrative that " hurt people hurt people". yada yada. i was hurt. i don't let that define me. i don't do what was done to me to others in a way to replicate what i was feeling onto them. why would i? everyone has a different perspective on things. people can say that i am too soft and malleable and letting the needs of others supersede mine. i know that i am happy and those around me are aswell.

that is the thing with growth. people can tell that you are wise. i attract others based on this. i hope that i am not being put on some pedestal based on how much i have grown. i am still just as flawed as any other human. i just work on my flaws. i fill the life i live with love and i think others know that. i cradle everyone i come across within my arms and kiss them on the cheek. i see their soul and with mine take it in. i give their aura a bath and tuck it in with their favorite stuffed animal. eternal caretaker. it may be too much for some and for others it feels like a euphoria that is too good to be true. alas, i cannot control these things. i just know i get joy from things of this nature. a physical non metaphysical example would be taking care of a man when he felt nauseous. feeding him and giving him a drank form my palms. holding him and giving him comfort. a kiss on the forehead. a but mothering but that kind of love means the most. when the world slices you up and down you have the choice of remaining bits and pieces of what you once were or tending to your wounds and getting better. take all of this how you will

xoxo cathy

[starryeyedweeb]

Attack on Titan: Pet Names

Characters Included: Levi Ackerman, Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Mikasa Ackerman

Notices: Characters are written according to their ages in season four of the anime; gender neutral reader

Levi Ackerman

what he calls you:

honestly? levi’s not the biggest pet name person

but because the way he says your name is so gentle and sacred, as if he’s uttering a prayer, you don’t feel as if you’re missing out on anything

but on the rare occasions when he does use a pet name, he goes with the tried-and-true classics:

love/my love

the very occasional darling

when you’re being a bit mischievous, though, he calls you “my brat”

the “my” before it is very important, as he says the name almost with pride

and it’s always accompanied with a chuckle or a smile, along with a ruffle of your hair or a swift pull into his arms

what he likes to be called:

even if he’s not the biggest giver in this department, he does like to receive

he’s putty in your hands when you call him the same sweet names he uses, which you do very often

and though he pretends to be annoyed when you call him something he deems cheesy- 

such as sweetheart, etc- 

he actually loves it

however, the quickest way to turn him on is look at him under your eyelashes, adopt a tone that’s almost mocking, and call him “heichou”

Eren Jaeger

what he calls you:

eren is the BIGGEST user and abuser of the term “babygirl/babyboy” and all of its variants

babe, baby, baby doll, etc.

since you’ve been in a relationship with eren, you don’t remember him ever calling you by your name

he mostly sticks to his usual endearments, but every now and then he’ll throw in a “honey,” oftentimes shortened to “hun”

and that’s usually when he wants something

and it usually works

what he likes to be called:

daddy

he very much enjoys it when you reciprocate his own sentiments, and to him, it never gets old to hear you call him babe or baby

he’s definitely the type that gets pissy if you call him by his name, and thinks you’re mad at him

and will continue to pout until you start using a term of endearment again

honestly, the constant petnaming gets obnoxious to the others, and they constantly moan and groan about how sickening it is

but the two of you couldn’t care less and have no plans to stop, reasoning that the others are probably just jealous of the two of you

after all, you are the hottest couple around

Armin Arlert

what he calls you:

armin has a rare talent of being able to call you the cheesiest, most sickly-sweet pet names, and make them so genuine, heart-warming, and full of pure love that you can’t help but feel bubbly inside when he uses one

sweetheart, my beauty, angel, my beloved

all would turn your stomach on someone else’s lips, but on his, paired with his wide-eyed gaze and a gentle caress, they make you feel more loved than you thought a human could ever be

he also throws in a prince/princess here and there, especially if he’s doing something for you

the others want so badly to make fun of him for his cliched affection, but even they melt at how sweet and real his love is, and can’t possibly bring themselves to

what he likes to be called:

because his nicknames are so sweet, you got into the habit of calling him sugar

which he absolutely eats up like candy

a lot of the time it’ll get shortened to just “sug” which brings an involuntary smile to his lips every time he hears it

but in more serious situations, “love” will be your go-to, and every time you use it, you see his eyes brighten with delight

sometimes if he’s having a bad day, he’ll take your hand and ask you to repeat what you just said

before you understood what he was going for, it started out with you repeating your entire statement- until you learned exactly what he wanted to hear

now when he makes that request, you know that all you need to do is wrap him in a hug and whisper a sweet “my love” in his ear

which acts as the perfect balm to heal his heart

Mikasa Ackerman

what she calls you:

like levi, mikasa’s not the biggest pet name person, but she does use them a bit more frequently

her usual is “my girl/my boy”

and the paradox between the possession (“you’re mine”) and awe (“i can’t believe you’re mine, but i’m so happy you are”) in her voice is so gut-wrenchingly sweet, and you can’t get enough of it

beyond that one, mikasa’s more likely to use statements rather than classic pet names

“you’re my heart.”

“you’re my light.”

“you’re my strength.”

they come at the most random times, and often in passing

she’ll just be walking by, but suddenly stop, fix you with a piercing gaze, and murmur those words

then she’ll squeeze your hand and walk away, oblivious to the fact that she just completely melted your heart

and when any one of the above mentioned statements are uttered in an intimate setting, there’s absolutely nothing that’s more divine than the earth-shaking love resounding in those simple words

 what she likes to be called:

mikasa once said she didn’t care to be called by any pet names and that she loved the way her name sounded on her lips, insisting that she didn’t need anything more

until one time when you accidentally called her ladybird

which was the most random thing, and really just slipped out all of a sudden without you ever knowing where it came from

you started to apologize, but her lips involuntarily pulled into a smile, a blush creeping across her cheeks

“don’t be sorry. i...i love it, actually.”

so the nickname stuck

the others try to use it, too, but all it took was her fixing them with the most murderous gaze for them to instantly know never to try it again

because the nickname was yours, and no one else’s

the extremely random occurrence eventually became so integrated into your relationship that you end up buying her a necklace with a tiny bird charm for her birthday

which she absolutely loves, and refuses to ever take off

she begins to think of the necklace as a way to carry your love with her always, and strives to find a way to return the favor

which is usually done by protecting you in a way that only mikasa can

[feverdreamfantasies]

The Birthday Gift

Pairing: Human!Hoseok x Human!Yoongi x Human!Reader, Snow Leopard Shifter!Jimin x Human!Reader

Featuring: German Shepherd Hybrid!Taehyung, Doberman Hybrid!Namjoon, Neighbor!Jungkook, (Jin to make an appearance later)

Genre: Hybrid AU, Fluff, Angst, Poly AU, eventual Smut, Producer!Yoongi, Scientist!Hoseok

Warnings: Brief mention of blood, Mention of Hybrid abuse, Some adult language, Mentions of a poly relationship between M x M x F

Summary:  “Hobi! What is he?” Yoongi repeats himself looking from me in the corner over to his boyfriend.

“He’s a shifter.” Hoseok mumbles, hand rising to scratch the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“He’s a shifter! Okay.  I adopted our girlfriend a shifter for her birthday.”

Author’s Notes:   This was an idea I’ve had in my head for a little while and I thought I would go ahead and start writing it. Also since this is the first chapter there’s a lot of background information in this one but moving forward there will be less filler and hopefully more story line progression. Hope you enjoy!

Next

Chapter One:  The ultimate Birthday gift             

Sometimes I wonder how I got here in my life. 

After nearly 5 years of being with Yoongi, I thought I was prepared for anything, but standing here in our neighbor Jungkook’s living room watching his sweet arctic fox hybrid, Sooyun, turn into the vicious predator she truly is; I began to question the choices I’d made that lead me here.

Let me backup a little bit to how I came to witness the scene before me. I was quietly having breakfast earlier this morning when Hoseok made his way loudly down the staircase that led into the kitchen. 

“Have you seen your boyfriend?” He asked with an emphasis on “your”, clearly perturbed with the man in question.

“What’s he done now that makes him ‘my’ boyfriend?” I say while taking a bite of my toast. 

For all the time I have been in a relationship with Yoongi, Hoseok has been with him longer.  The two met in their first year at university and began dating shortly there after.  I came along about four years later, back when I was a shy, young intern for the music company Yoongi was—and is still— a big time producer for.  

I had heard rumors when I first started there that he had a bit of a different romantic life than most. Everyone loved to whisper about the open relationship he and his boyfriend supposedly had. I tried not to listen to the rumors, but I couldn’t deny the big fat crush I had developed on Yoongi either.  I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest every time he walked into the same room as me.  And when he asked me out for drinks one day, all I could do was nod in response because I didn’t have the courage to give a verbal yes. 

I was nervous and apprehensive about possibly going on a date with an already taken man.  But my curiosity got the best of me and I showed up to the bar he had suggested.  He was sweet and kind to me. Being patient with my quietness until I warmed up enough to be able to contribute to our conversation.  

He was also very straightforward and honest with me.  

“I know there are rumors about my personal life in the office.” He stated matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his jack and coke before continuing. “So I’ll admit that I’m kind of surprised you agreed to come out with me tonight.”

I brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear, a nervous habit of mine that brings me an artificial level of comfort.  “To be honest” I swallow “I’m not really sure I was even going to show up.”

“Well I’m glad you did.” He said with his adorable gummy smile.

“And to be upfront about everything, the rumors are true. I do have a boyfriend, and we are in a serious, committed relationship.”

I raise my eyebrows at this. 

“I know what you're thinking.  So then why would I ask a beautiful woman like you out on a date if I’m already spoken for?” 

My heart speeds up when I hear him use the word beautiful.  He leans across the high top table we are sat at, so he can speak lower and not have the other customers at the bar listen in.  

“Hobi and I have always been open to the concept of a polymorphic relationship. We’ve tried in the past with potential romantic partners; but they usually ended up ghosting on one of us, once they figured out what we were looking for.”

“So why do you think I’ll be different?” I question finding some confidence in my voice.  Afterall, it isn’t like Yoongi is talking about some small, trivial thing.  He’s openly discussing with me the potential of starting a romantic journey with him and his boyfriend.  Journey being the only way I can truly describe it because honestly what if this actually became something, what do I say to my parents then? “Mom. Dad.  Meet my boyfriend Yoongi and his boyfriend--slash my other boyfriend--Hoseok.” 

Yeah...this was most certainly going to be a journey.

“Honestly, I’m not sure you will be.  But I like you, Y/N. And from what I’ve told Hoseok so far, he’s interested too.”

I snort at this response.  What possibly could I have done to get Yoongi’s attention that he’d like me, let alone know anything about me enough to want to tell his boyfriend.

“Up until tonight, I’ve barely said anything to you.” I state to the dark haired man across from me.

Yoongi shrugs at this like it doesn’t matter.  “People speak louder with their actions than with their words.”

“Yeah?  And what do my actions say about me?” I ask genuinely.

He doesn’t miss a beat with his response.

 “You’re smart without being pretentious.  You have confidence without arrogance.  And most importantly you’re kind.”

“I’m kind?”

Yoongi nods. 

“A couple of weekends ago I saw you inside the hybrid rescue downtown.  I was going to go in and say hi, but thought that might intimidate you a little bit.” 

He says this last part with a laugh, as my cheeks turn red from the fact I know that would have been true.

“I asked one of your fellow interns, Ilsung, about it.  He said you volunteer there whenever you can.  That you have a real soft spot for hybrids and their rights. Not many people are as compassionate to their causes.  And as someone who has had the honor to adopt two myself, I’m really drawn to others who want to make a difference for them.”

“I wouldn’t say I’m making a difference.” I say sheepishly. “But when I was a kid we had a family cat hybrid named Wendy.  She and I did everything together until they came and took her away when we were both 12.  And let’s just say that made an impact on me.”

When my parents were kids, hybrids were just starting to be introduced to society.  But years prior to that, governments and militaries had been creating and breeding hybrids for years as an experiment to get a defensive edge when it came to warfare. It proved not to be as promising as they had hoped and what ended up happening is they sold their hybrids and hybrid secrets to the highest bidder, which turned out to be a large corporatation.  This corporation in turn introduced cat and dog hybrids to the rest of the world.  Claiming that they were a step above your average household pet and could provide a more fulfilling companion experience.  Hybrids quickly became a hot commodity.  And the black market was soon taking off with their own hybrid creations of more exotic and “dangerous” hybrid breeds.  Soon the hybrids were beginning to outnumber humans 2 to 1 and fear of who they are and what they can do began to take over.

Laws were passed as a means to protect humans. Rather than create laws that stopped the unethical treatment and breeding of hybrids, they were created to limit their rights.  Not completely human but also not completely an animal either, hybrids fell in a category with many blurbed lines.  The laws state all hybrids must have an owner and must either be accompanied by that owner at all times or have a microchip implanted within the back of their necks that can be scanned to indicate they belong to someone.  Any strays were in extreme cases euthanized and in less extreme cases placed in overcrowded shelters and rescue centers, where they would more than likely spend the rest of their lives.  

For those who did get adopted or were bought by breeders, their lives may not be as lucky as those who did not.  It isn’t uncommon for those hybrids adopted to end up in underground hybrid clubs.  These clubs offer humans all sorts of sick fantasies to play out with hybrids.  This can be anything from deadly hybrid fight rings to hybrid brothels where they can use and abuse any female and male hybrids of their choosing. In my time volunteering at the rescue center, I have listened to stories I wouldn’t even wish for my worst enemies to have to endure. 

“Wendy came into my life when on my 5th birthday.  My Mom and Dad had decided I needed a companion.  As an only child with parents who weren't able to have any more kids, my parents thought adopting a hybrid could be the next best thing.  But the year we both turned 12, is the year Wendy started to go through her changes.”

Yoongi listened to my story with great intensity.  

“Of course as humans we all go through puberty between the ages of 11 and 18.  This isn’t uncommon for hybrids either except their changes aren’t typically of the reproductive kind until later in their late teens and early twenties, but what they do change in is behavior.  Their animal instincts can have the potential to become more dominant, leading to aggressiveness and in some cases violence.

When Wendy and I were playing outside one day, a neighbor's hybrid wandered into our backyard where we were.  He looked to be some small wild cat hybrid, probably bought in some shady back room of an outdoor market.  He was around our age if not a little bit older.  He’s name was Yongho and he could hear our laughs from inside his house.  He asked if he could play with us, saying he was lonely being cooped up inside all day.  I was glad to have another person to play with so I said yes immediately without noticing that Wendy was apprehensive.  Her tail was flicking side to side and ears were slightly pinned back, but I thought that was only because she may be jealous of having some of my attention shared with another hybrid.  I chose to ignore her warning signs and suggested a game of tag.

It all seemed to be going fine.  At first I was ‘it’ and although they were both faster than me, Yongho decided to slow down so I could catch him.  But once he was ‘it’ that’s when everything would change to become one of the worst days of my life.”

I paused so I could take a sip of my drink to try and calm myself down.  I hadn’t thought of this day in a really long time and I was struck by the fact that I was so easily sharing it with Yoongi when not even most of my close friends knew what had happened.  Yoongi reached across the table and gently rubbed his thumb over my hand to encourage me to keep going.  

I cleared my throat.

“Because Yongho was a predator hybrid, a game of tag can quickly turn into a dangerous game of cat and mouse.  When Wendy and I ran off in opposite directions after getting a 10-second head start that’s when Yongho’s animal instincts kicked in.  As a slow and small human girl, I became easy prey to the hunter and Yongho began to come after me.  Naive to noticing that anything had changed, I giggled as I tried to dodge around the trees in our backyard to create obstacles between us.  And when I turned around to see how close he was that’s when I saw the predatory look in his eyes.  I gave a small but effective scream which in turn caught the attention of Wendy.  She halted in the direction she was going before quickly turning around.  I in the meantime froze out of fear.  Yongho slowed but didn’t stop moving toward me.  He staked his way closer in the same way you would see a lioness do through the brush on a nature show before she pounced on an antelope.  And unfortunately for me, I was that antelope.  Just as Yongho pounced with claws out, Wendy intercepted him and they both tumbled to the ground, rolling around and making animalistic noises I had never heard before.  

This got the attention of my mother.  Who once she came outside to see what was happening began yelling for my dad.  He ran out and grabbed me.  Easily picking me up and throwing me inside the house ordering me to lock the door and telling my mother to call HES (hybrid emergency services).  My dad tried to get Yongho off of Wendy when he had managed to pin her to the ground while I burst into tears once the adrenaline started to wear off.  HES showed up quickly, but not fast enough to stop Wendy from accidentally scratching my dad.  She was aiming for Yongho when my father’s arm got in the way and left a deep wound along his forearm which instantly began to bleed.  Because hybrid laws take all cases of violence toward a human seriously, HES not only took Yongho away but they also took Wendy.  My father spent the next several weeks in court trying to get her back saying she had scratched him with no ill intention but they wouldn’t listen.  The only thing they could offer was for us to send her off to a reform facility, where she would spend the next three years, in hopes that maybe once she had gone through the proper reform training then she would be able to come home.  My parents agreed to send her off, but 6 months after she arrived they claimed she had ran away, only to find out in the news a few years later that this reform facility was secretly selling desirable hybrids off to private sellers and the black market.  I haven’t seen her since.”

Things between us got really quiet after I told my story.  Yoongi continued to rub my hand before noticing that my eyes were watery.  Tears threatening to come cascading down.  He sprung into action and leapt off his stool scooping me up into a hug. 

“I’m so sorry” he whispered.  

I could hear the sincerity in his voice and felt overwhelmingly comforted within his embrace.  I thought right then and there that I never wanted him to let me go.  And I didn’t care if that meant I had to share him with someone else because at that moment it felt like I was always supposed to be his.

Shortly thereafter I met Hoseok face to face.  The three of us went on a date to a nice restaurant to see how we would all get along.  The date went exceptionally well, as did the next one, and the one after that.  After a couple months, the three of us went away for the weekend and discussed the next steps for our future.  It was decided that we would all move in together and start a relationship that would define my next five years. 

Looking over at Hobi now with his brows crossed and a mild look of exhaustion on his face.  I couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“He promised me he would come home last night so he could be here for your birthday this morning.”

“Yoongi is here.” I say. “Also nice of you to wish me a Happy Birthday.”

He rolled his eyes before walking over to me and kissing me on the forehead. “He didn’t come to bed last night.” He responds as he releases me.

“That’s because he came to my bed,” I say with a teasing grin.

Once we moved into this house, it was decided that Yoongi and Hoseok would share a room while I had my own.  I didn’t mind it much because Yoongi would often sneak into my bed once Hobi fell asleep.  Or if Yoongi was at the studio all night then one of our hybrids would cuddle up with me, especially Taehyung.

Speaking of which, the German Shepherd hybrid came bounding through the backdoor.  A smile on his face and a bouquet of wildflowers clutched in his hand.

“Happy Birthday Y/N!”

“I got you these!” He thrust the wildflowers toward me.  Tail wagging rapidly behind him.

“Thank you Tae.” I take the flowers from him smelling them in the process. “These are beautiful.”

He’s smile grows wider.  Taehyung was one of the two hybrids Hoseok and Yoongi had adopted before I joined their family. Well adopted was not really the correct term to use.  Hoseok worked as a scientist for the government.  And though they had supposedly moved on from the hybrid world, the three of us knew that wasn’t true.  Hoseok started working there right out of college.  Initially he was told he was there for human medical purposes, specifically in terms of medicine and vaccine studies.  However, while that was mostly true, Hoseok discovered one day by accident that there were also medical experiments being done on hybrids in ways that they would never imagine doing to humans.

From that moment on, Hoseok took it upon himself to make changes but he’d have to climb his way to the top in order to make any real change.  Now being the second in command to the head of the medical research team, Hobi had more privileges to know what happened in the hybrid labs but still didn’t have full command of what went on in there.  But that didn’t stop him from managing to rescue a couple in the process.

I didn’t really know all that had happened to Taehyung and Namjoon--our Doberman hybrid--while they were in that lab, but I knew that it made them respond to things in opposite ways.  Taehyung was clingy and loveable.  Namjoon was a little standoffish at first but if I played my cards right he could be putty in my hands.

“Where do you want to eat tonight?” Hobi asked.

“You guys aren’t going to make me a homemade meal.” I whine.

“If you want food poisoning then I would be more than happy to make you whatever you would like.  Or if you don’t mind eating until almost 2 in the morning then I’ll ask Yoongi what he wants to make tonight.”

I stick my tongue out at him.  I hate his reasoning sometimes.

“In that case, I’ll have to get back to you on that.”

“We all know that you’ll choose the same place you always do.” A sleepy Yoongi says with a yawn.  His hair slightly sticking up in the back indicating he had just climbed out of bed. 

He walks over to me, sliding into the booth of our breakfast nook and kisses me gently. 

“Happy Birthday Princess.” He says in his deep groggy voice.

“I’m surprised you're up already.” I state as I fed him some of my breakfast.  He takes a bite and swallows before responding.  

“Someone made a pretty severe threat of laundry duty if I didn’t show up this morning. And we all know if I’m on laundry duty for a full month, we will all be deeply sorry.”

We enjoy the rest of our morning with happy banter and cuddles on the couch.  With a momentary appearance from Namjoon with a quick Birthday greeting before he went on his jog.

As I flipped through the options on Netflix with Tae asleep with his head in my lap, Hoseok’s phone rang which he picked up and answered in his office down the hall.  Yoongi and I gave a brief glance at each other figuring it was probably from work before Hoseok quickly ran out of his office and out the front door as though the house was on fire.  

We look at each other again before quickly getting off the couch to follow him.  Taehyung whines in protest as he loses the warmth of my lap before climbing back onto the couch and quickly falling back asleep.  

Hoseok goes over to our neighbor’s house, lifting his arm up to knock on the door when Jungkook opens it with a “Thank God!”

“I thought you said he’d be fine here.” Hoseok says as he follows Jungkook into his living space noticing the low growls of Sooyun coming from within.  He hesitates a moment before seeing why Sooyun is making that noise.

He quickly gets his answer as he sees Sooyun with teeth bared at a cowering figure in the corner.  He realizes her aggression is toward his Birthday gift for Y/N.  While he knew that Y/N was easily loved by Taehyung and Namjoon, they weren’t necessarily her hybrids.  Tae belonged to Yoongi and Namjoon was Hoseok’s, who he adopted at the first chance after that fateful day he walked into the hybrid lab by accident.  So he figured Y/N needed her own companion and it gave him an excuse to bring home another rescue.

“Well aren’t you going to do something.” He says to Jungkook, calmer than he felt. 

“Me?  He’s your hybrid.” Jungkook says incredulously.

“Technically he isn’t a hybrid.” 

“Then what is he?”  Yoongi says behind Hobi, scaring his younger boyfriend in the process.  I stand beyond them watching Jungkook’s normally sweet hybrid looking like the true predator she is before moving my eyes to the other hybrid--or rather not hybrid--sitting in the corner with his knees up to his chest.  My heart instantly breaks at the sight in front of me and I feel the need to protect him.

“Hey! Enough.” 

My voice is loud and clear.  Commanding but not violent, just enough to get Sooyun’s attention.  A skill I learned at all my years volunteering at the rescue. She backs away and hides behind Jungkook as though she hadn’t done anything wrong to be treated this way.  Jungkook pats the hand she rests on his arm, clutching onto his shirt sleeve. White ears pinned back to her equally pure white hair.

I take that time to move to her victim. Taking slow movements making sure not to scare him even more. “Hello.” I say getting him to look up at me with his light grey eyes.  He has soft features but an intense gaze.  I reach my hand out to help him off the floor.  He hesitates before deciding to trust me and stands up into his full height.  He isn’t large but he is taller than me, about the same size as Yoongi. 

“Hobi! What is he?” Yoongi repeats himself looking from me in the corner over to his boyfriend.

“He’s a shifter.” Hoseok mumbles, hand rising to scratch the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“He’s a shifter! Okay.  I adopted our girlfriend a shifter for her birthday.”

It gets suddenly very quiet. I look back over at the shifter in question, his hand still in mine.  Yoongi is visibly getting angry, but still trying to remain somewhat calm.

“What the fuck is a shifter, Hobi?  Like a werewolf.  Did you bring home a werewolf?”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Werewolves aren’t real.  He’s a snow leopard shifter.”

For the genius Hoseok actually was he could really do some dumb things, I think as Yoongi comes towards us and pulls me away but not with some resistance from the other person holding my hand. Yoongi drags me aways while also grabbing Hoseok by the shoulder to guide us outside.

Once we step into the front yard, Yoongi turns Hobi around to look at him but doesn’t let me go.

“You know you’ve done some stupid shit in the 9 years we’ve been together, but this might easily top the list.  I mean what the hell were you thinking!  Where do you even get a snow leopard shifter?”

“The same place I got Taehyung and Namjoon.  Just there was more paperwork involved and lots of background checks.  And possibly some surveillance on the house for a week or two.”  He throws the last part in quickly as though we won’t notice that he agreed to have us be watched by a government entity without getting our consent first.

“He’s going back.” 

“What?! No!”  This protest comes from me this time.  I don’t know what a shifter is, but I do know some of what happens in the labs and he isn’t going back if I have anything to say about it.

“Yes. He. Is.” Yoongi states, as though the decision is final and begins to walk back toward the house only to stop halfway when he realizes none of us are following.

“We can’t keep him.” He states again.

“But why not?” Hobi and I pout at the same time.

Usually if one of us goes against Yoongi we don’t stand a chance at winning, but if we team up together then things inevitably go our way.

“He’s probably dangerous. I mean I still don’t know what he really is.” He stares at Hoseok on this last point.

“Shifters are what the military attempted after the hybrid experiment failed.  Essentially, through their research they found that though hybrids are stronger than humans they still aren’t as strong as a real true animal.  But you can’t fully control or command an animal, especially not a predatory animal like a tiger or lion…”

“Or a snow leopard.” Yoongi offered.

“Right.  Anyways, there was a researcher about thirty years ago who thought what if you could create a breed of human that could, when needed, shift into full animal form.  Lots of people laughed at him for this, but that didn’t stop him from running experiments on his own before a top personnel in the government decided to back him on his research.  It didn’t take him long, about five years before he got his first successful generation of shifters. Listen, I know you don’t like it Yoongi and you probably think he’s dangerous.  But he’s been kept in that lab his whole life.  And I promise you that we have nothing to fear with him.  In fact, shifters are much safer than hybrids.”  Hoseok added as a last minute plea.

Yoongi�� slowly let out a sigh.  “Fine. But…” he quickly adds before Hobi and I get too excited. “If anything happens to a member of our household because of him, then he has to go somewhere else.”

“You have my word that nothing will happen.”

I grab Yoongi and Hobi into a hug in my excitement.  “So what’s his name?”

“Jimin.”

[dynamightsfave]

Solitary ghost - Reggie Peters

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

reggie peters x ghost!oc

summary: reggie takes it upon himself to make friends with the antipathic, solitary ghost the band meets after a concert

warnings: mentions of death and suicide, mentions of child abuse swears

masterlist

***

Luna “Moony” Joy did justice to her last name. She was a bubbly girl, full of energy and positivity. Or at least she used to be, until her adoptive family died on a fire, leaving her an orphan and in foster care... again. How she jumped from house to house and ended up going all the way across the country is not something she likes to talk about. She doesn’t really like to talk at all.

Two years later, a Brooklynn girl died in L.A. after “falling” off a cliff, and she didn’t have to worry about any more foster homes. What she did have to worry about —and oh, how she wishes she didn’t have to— is her afterlife. “I died just so I could stay in the world for eternity. Fucking great”

Luna stayed away from other ghosts for the most part. She didn’t want help, she didn’t want guidance, and she most certainly didn’t want company. She tried to find her unfinished business so she could finally cross over and “leave this fucking place once and for all”, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t very surprised. What unfinished business could a foster kid possibly have? Too many, probably.

So Moony spent her days as a solitary ghost walking around the city, and avoiding Caleb Covington and that skater boy of his. The magician just couldn’t get in his head that she wanted nothing to do with him. Unfortunately for her, that didn’t save her from three particularly annoying ghosts.

[...]

It was Luke who found her.

They had performed at a local place a few weeks after they performed at The Orpheum, and Luna just so happened to pass by. The dark haired girl stopped when she heard the music, and figured that she might as well stay until the end. It wasn’t like she had somewhere to be anyways. The three boys poofed out of the scenario and appeared behind her, grinning like idiots at the applauding crowd. The bassist and the drummer were too preoccupied to notice the girl in front of them, the only one that wasn’t clapping or had a smile on.

“Hey” Luke nudged at the boys at either side of him with a frown, and jerked his head in her direction “She’s just standing there after we rocked this place. She’s not even fazed”

“Maybe’s just not her type of music” Alex suggested, not thinking much of it.

“Or maybe she hated it” the smile didn’t leave Reggie’s face as he nonchalantly stated his theory, oblivious to his bandmates frowns.

“You know, she can hear you, assholes” Luna rolled her eyes, scowling at them and turning around to leave through the wall.

“Woah- Wait!” Luke ran after her, and the other two followed “H-Hey! You’re a ghost too!”

“No shit Sherlock” she completely ignored them and kept walking.

“So you didn’t like our music? Why not?”

“Listen, I don’t know who you are, and frankly I don’t care either” she stopped and turned to the ghosts, who tumbled against each other abruptly “I really don’t care about your music either, so I would appreciate it if you stopped following me”

“Why are you being so rude?”

“Why are you being so nosy?” she shot back at Luke with a glare “Do you work for him? Like I said to your boss and his scout before, I don’t want in in your little club. I’m fine by my own. Leave me the hell alone”

With that, she poofed away, deciding that appearing in her place would be the best option. The band stood there dumbfounded staring at her now empty spot.

“What a bitch” the lead guitarist finally spoke.

“She asked if we worked for someone and then said she didn’t want in in our club... You don’t think Caleb’s after her, right?” Alex didn’t know her, but nobody deserved to go through what they had with those stamps.

“Who cares? Let’s go home” Luke patted his friend’s shoulder and started to go back to look for Julie.

Alex followed, but Reggie stood frozen for a moment. The girl was pretty, but that wasn’t what struck him. She looked sad, alone and overall unhappy. There was no spark in her eyes whatsoever, nothing that made her look alive —she wasn’t exactly alive, more like the opposite, but you know what he means. The Peters boy frowned at the floor, he wanted to know why she was like that. Wait, no, scratch that. He wanted to change that. Reggie Peters wanted to see how much prettier the unknown girl looked when smiling.

[...]

He made it his mission to find her. He went out looking for her while Julie was at school and Ray at work, and Luke and Alex were doing who knows what. Reggie basically padded all downtown L.A. trying to at least get a glimpse of the dark clothes that the Korean girl sported the night before. It took him a while, but he found her.

Reggie couldn’t even remember when he thought about visiting the observatory, but when he spotted the black clad ghost, he was glad he did.

“Hey, you’re the girl from last night! The one that didn’t like our music” he beamed, even when she just looked at him bored “I didn’t get to introduce myself, you were arguing with Luke. Hi, I’m Reggie” but Luna only stared at his hand for a moment and continued to look at the view.

Reggie didn’t sweat it, he just leaned against handrail next to her and stared at the view too. Luna didn’t say anything to him, she hated his presence there —like, what the hell was he doing, couldn’t he leave or something?

“Can you leave?” she turned to the boy.

“Nope. I want friends, other than my bandmates and Julie. Luke is always in his music or pestering Julie, Alex is with his crush —or boyfriend, I’m not sure anymore— and Julie is at school, and even if Luke goes annoy her, she’s been very strict about boundaries lately. I have Ray, but he can’t see me” he quickly explained, although Luna didn’t look like she cared “Can you at least tell me your name? I’ll stay quiet and won’t bother you if you do” he begged.

Luna looked at him —like really looked at him— for a moment. That moment felt like ages for Reggie, her dark brown eyes seemed to be scrutinizing every inch of his soul, but he didn’t back down. He was determined to make her afterlife good, no matter how long it took. They did have an eternity, after all.

Really, the dark haired girl wasn’t reading him. She hardly knew him, she just knew his name and that he had a really nosy friend and another that looked like an anxious baby. But Luna was meditating about her answer. There was something telling her that this Reggie wouldn’t leave her alone for whatever reason —because wanting more friends wasn’t an acceptable answer for him to have been looking around the whole city for her like she knew he had done— and this was most likely the best she’d get.

“Luna” she finally said, avoiding his eyes.

“Like the moon?” he asked with an amused smile, but erased it from his face once he met her eyes again “Right, I’m shutting up now”

Reggie did shut up... for about ten minutes. Then he started talking again, and he told her about how he became a ghost, hoping the story of dying because of a hot dog would at least put a smile on her face, it seemed to make everyone laugh. But it didn’t have the same effect on this girl, who only rolled her eyes and called them stupid for eating something that came out of a car.

[...]

It happened daily. Luna would be minding her business, “enjoying” her time alone, and Reggie would appear out of nowhere. He stayed silent for about fifteen minutes, and then started talking about whatever he could think of. She didn’t know how he always managed to find her, or why, but she had given up on trying to hide from him. She had enough with hiding from Caleb, and the beaming boy hadn’t asked about her, so it was bearable.

“Why don’t you tell me something about you?” never mind.

“No” Luna quickly dismissed “You said you wouldn’t bother me”

“Oh, come on, Luna. I just wanna learn something about you! I’ve told tons about me. And before you say you don’t know why the hell I do this, I don’t want you to be alone. No one deserves to be left alone, even after they died”

“I said I don’t want anyone’s company! And you still come bother me every day!” she shouted and moved her arms wildly, missing the way the boy in front of her flinched and cowered back a little “God, do you not listen?! Read the room, idiot! I don’t want you here!”

Luna didn’t know, but that last sentence struck Reggie like a ton of bricks mixed with lightning. Worse than Caleb’s stamp, and worse than Julie’s outburst at them when they let her down. Her yelling and moving her arms like that, that phrase, it brought him right back to his house. To when his parents shouted and argued for the smallest things, and Lord help him if they saw him, because then... well then it got worse. Way worse.

“I-I’m sorry” he muttered and looked down “I’ll leave you alone, don’t worry”

Reggie’s face had fallen, and he looked hurt, something that Luna hadn’t seen on him since he started bothering her. Then he poofed away, and the Korean girl was left alone. Which for some reason didn’t feel as good as she wanted. There was something inside of her that was bothering her more than Reggie’s constant banter, and that was the absence of it. She didn’t like to admit it, but the boy’s blabbering had become part of her day, and somewhere in between telling him to shut up and scowling at him —which he both blatantly ignored, by the way— she had begun to enjoy his presence. It made her days. He made her feel not so alone, or depressed, and the fact that she had made him feel that way didn’t sit right on her.

“Goddammit” she groaned internally.

The girl poofed away. Something else Luna didn’t like to admit was that she actually listened to everything Reggie told her, so she knew a little about the boy, and the first thing she looked for him was where his house used to be. The bike shack next to the noodle place at the beach. Sure enough, Luna spotted his leather jacket sat down on the sand, looking down and digging his finger in it. She started to walk in his direction, her Doc Martens felt weirdly hesitant and timid in contrast to how confident and defiant they usually marched.

The Joy girl stopped next to her... “friend”. Could she call him a friend? She had been nothing but mean and cold to the poor guy, while he had obviously tried his best to get the slightest of smiles from her. For some reason, Reggie still considered her a friend, he had said so a few times in the past month.

A quivering breath fell from her lips. Luna knew that Reggie had noticed her, but had chosen to ignore her. “I deserve that”

“Hi” it was the first time she greeted him first, and it was strange. She refused to let his silence appall her, so she sat down next to him “My full name is Luna Joy, kinda ironic, huh?” still no response; she sighed “Reggie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t’ve yelled at you for no reason, you’ve just been trying to be nice. Believe it or not, I really appreciate your visits, as annoying as the are” the chuckle from the back of her throat felt foreign. It had been long since she let a genuine one out, instead of a dry, sarcastic one.

“Did you just laugh?”

“I wouldn’t call it a laugh; it was more like a chuckle-”

“Oh nononono! None of that! No excuses! You laughed!” he pointed at her with the finger that had previously been drawing aimlessly in the sand, his face back to looking like a child in a toy store.

Luna couldn’t help the warm feeling in her chest —she didn’t know ghosts could still feel like that, but then again, she didn’t know she could still feel like that— nor the small smile that creeped into her lips.

“And now you’re smiling! This is the best thing ever!”

“Okay, relax” she chuckled again, and this time it did sound like a laugh “Don’t let this get to you, Reginald Peters, it’s not like it’s gonna happen all the time” she teased with a smirk.

“Wanna bet, Luna Joy?” he answered with a matching smirk.

“Oh, God, I’m already regretting this” she buried her head in her arms and knees “Does this mean I’m forgiven? I really am sorry”

“Yeah, it’s all forgotten. But you have to tell me more about you”

“What do you wanna know?”

“Anything. Everything” if Luna still had blood, she was sure she would’ve blushed from the intensity of his gaze.

“Well, when I was alive and had friends, my family and them used to call me Moony, because of my name and Luna Lovegood and Remus Lupin from Harry Potter”

“Can I call you that?” Reggie quickly asked.

Luna pondered about it for a few seconds before nodding.

“I don’t see why not. We’re friends, right?” she sent a small smile, and the boy smiled brighter.

[...]

It was Luna’s turn to blabber nonstop. She was hesitant at first, but soon started to let loose, and although it seemed impossible, the old Luna Joy came back when she was with Reggie. She started to enjoy herself more when he visited, liked to talk with him about anything, and went along with any kind of idea he had. Reggie found out that Moony was nothing like the first time they met, and he was pretty proud of himself for making her comfortable enough to let her walls down.

At some point, they found themselves falling for each other, and Luna felt like she could shit her pants when she realized. She didn’t know how to handle it, it was strange and she was scared. Reggie on the other side, he smiled as big as he could when it clicked for him, causing Julie to ask him what had him so happy.

“I like a girl” he answered without shame, and suddenly he was being interrogated by the lead singer of the band.

Oh, but when their next hang out came... That was another story. Luna didn’t want to be awkward and Reggie didn’t want to come off too obvious.

They both did a terrible job.

“You’re being awkward” he whined.

“Well you’re clingier than normal” she responded instantly.

There was a silence that followed in which they stared at each other.

“I’m scared” Luna whispered after a moment, and Reggie furrowed his brows.

“What? Why?” he moved closer, hoping to bring comfort to the girl.

“I don’t think I’ve been this close with someone ever, other than my mom” she confessed.

Reggie knew all about her foster system experience, from before and after she got adopted. They had had very deep conversations many times, and in one of them, Luna decided to tell him about her family, and eventually why she died. The bassist had let her break down in his arms and not judged her when she told him that she took her life and how angry she was after appearing back as a ghost. He just hugged her tighter and then told her about his family.

He told her about Luke and Alex and Bobby, and all their adventures and what they went through in their lives. Then he told her about his new family, and how he considered the Molinas and Flynn part of his little family, even if the only one that could actually interact with him was Julie. After that, Reggie told Luna about his parents. He had a hard time telling her, but the girl didn’t push him, knowing how touchy subjects could hurt, and talking about them was a huge effort. So she let him take his time, listening to how his parents never seemed to stop fighting, and how they even got him in between them. Luna was hardly containing her tears when he got to the part where his dad had gotten his hands on him a couple times. Luna brought him into an embrace, and they stayed like that for the rest of that night.

“Is being close with me a bad thing?”

“No” the answer was immediate “Not in the slightest. It’s just... I never thought I’d have someone that I cared so much about, like, ever again. And I’m scared, because I don’t wanna lose you like everyone else and-”

“Hey. You’re not gonna lose me” he took her hand in his “I promise. If it helps, I feel very close with you too”

“Yeah, but I like you!” she stressed, taking the boy aback “That’s never happened before! It scares the shit out of me, and you surely don’t like me back like that, and-”

“Moony!” Reggie cut her off with a laugh “I like you too!” the boy felt like he just got told he won the ghost-lottery, the smile on his face the biggest Luna had seen.

“Huh?”

“I like you too” he repeated “When I’m thinking about coming to visit you and hang out with you, I feel like I’m about to perform with the band again. I get this rush of happiness and that’s just by thinking of you!”

Luna looked at the guy like he was crazy. How was he so happy? She had been scared all week! When she was little, feelings came easy to her, but she’d never liked someone. Then her family died, and she never gave herself the opportunity to like someone. Now this goofy boy came, after they have both died, and he doesn’t leave her alone, and suddenly his goofiness and playful flirting had an effect on her! And on top of that, he says he likes her too! It was all strange and too good to be true. “What the hell is happening?”

“You like me” she said, not sounding convinced “This better not be one of your jokes Reg, because I swear, if it is I’ll-”

Once again, Reggie cut her off laughing, just to pull her into a kiss. He kissed her out of impulse, he couldn’t restrain himself anymore now that he knew she liked him back. Besides, she wanted to be sure she wasn’t fucking with her, right?

“I’m not joking, Moons. I really like you. A lot” he giggled, resting his hands on her face to make her look directly at him “And now that I know you like me...” he saw her bite her bottom lip to contain her smile “I can proudly say that I made Luna Joy feel emotions again”

“Hey! It’s not like I was completely emotionless”

“Sure babe” he leaned in to place a swift kiss on her nose.

“Okay, enough of that” she pulled away, but let his arms rest around her “Wait, “babe”? What’s that about?”

“Oh, right” Reggie seemed to realize something and sat up straighter “Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Once again, Luna stared at the ghost in front of her dumfounded. He stared back at her with a smile, waiting for an answer.

“Are you serious?” she asked. Reggie only nodded “Just like that?”

“You want a big ask? I can do it, give me a second”

“Woah, woah no! No big asks” she gripped his leather jacket just as he went to stand up “It just caught me off guard”

“Why? We like each other, and I want you to be my girlfriend so no other cute ghost can take charm you with incredible harmonica skills and funnier stories”

“This right here is why I like you. I don’t need a harmonica player; I like how you play your banjo. I’ll be your girlfriend, Reg”

[...]

Now that we know how Reggie and Moony got together let’s rewind a little. I said, she wasn’t safe from three particularly annoying ghosts. She’s got one, she’s dating him. She met —or re-met— the other two a month later.

“C’mon, please” Reggie dragged out the word like a little kid begging their mom for candy. To be fair, he was begging, but instead of his mother, his girlfriend “They’ll love you! Alex uses sarcasm almost as much as you do. Julie wants to try and see you, she’s been asking me about you every time I get back home! She’s getting really tiring”

“Oh, so kinda like you then” Luna wasn’t having it.

She sat there listening to her boyfriend whine about how much he wanted her to meet his friends, his family. He wanted to be able to spend time with her without having to escape them all the time. Also, Luke and Alex did not believe him when he said he had found a girl.

The bassist huffed and plopped himself next to Luna, crossing his arms. He eyed the black nail polish she was applying to her nails, and then looked at his own nails, already painted black. Reggie smiled, getting off track for a second at the memory of how delicate she had been minutes ago when she was painting his nails. It was the most patient he had ever seen her. “Wait, no- friends” he shook his head and looked at the girl again.

“Why don’t you wanna meet my friends?” he pouted.

“Baby, I don’t think your buddy Luke was a fan of me last and only time I met him. Granted, I wasn’t very nice to him, but...�� Reggie blushed at the pet name.

Luna wasn’t great with words, so pet names were unusual in her, causing the boy to blush each time she used one. Touching didn’t come out of her either, it was usually him who had to start a kiss or a hug, but she didn’t neglect them. He had determined that her love language was actions.

She had been alone for a long time, and having someone that cares about you was strange, but she tried her best to show Reggie that she too cared about him. Moony would take him to a place where country music was played, or nudge him and propose a crazy idea that she knew he’d love, or paint his nails carefully like before. Or Reggie’s personal favorite: how Luna would “ask” for cuddles. She wouldn’t initiate them, she felt awkward verbally asking for them or suddenly throwing herself on him as he did when he wanted some, but instead she’d shift closer to him and subtly lean a little into his body. After a few times when Reg had asked for cuddles and she’d done that same thing, he had started to understand the subtle actions that she did to ask for touch without feeling awkward or uncomfortable. He had to say, he found it absolutely adorable how shy she could be. He’d never imagined the bold Joy girl to be able to act that way.

“Okay, but now you’re nicer!” he tried to convince her again “Come on, just for half an hour! You meet them, stay a little, and if you decide you don’t like them, or don’t feel right we’ll leave and I won’t talk about this ever again” when she still didn’t look at him, he carefully grabbed her arm —because he knew she’d kill him again if he messed up her nails— and turned her around “Please, please, please, please, please, pl-”

“Okay!” she snapped “I’ll go meet your band, just shut the fuck up!”

“Yes!” he grabbed her face and kissed her lips “You’re the best, Moons”

“Yeah, yeah. Let me finish my hand and we can go” she said, retrieving her arm so she could paint her last two nails.

Luna Joy was used to put this brave, unbreakable, unfazed facade on that now only came down when she was with Reginald Peters. Like right now, she was standing in front of a garage, gripping his hand tight and internally shitting her pants.

“You know what? I’m not feeling well, maybe I should come by another time-”

“Babe. You’re gonna be fine, just relax” he pressed a kiss to her temple, and then walked in “Everybody, this is Luna. I told you guys she existed” he stuck his tongue at his two brothers, grinning wide at Julie’s excited face.

“Hey” Luna waved.

“You. You’re that ghost that didn’t like our music and then was rude!” Luke pointed at her “Why didn’t you like our music?”

“Can you please not attack her, Luke?” Alex rolled his eyes “I’m sorry, he’s stupid. I’m not, I’m Alex”

“Yeah, our music isn’t for everyone. Hi, my name’s Julie and I am very excited to see and meet you. Reggie has told me a lot about you” the curly haired girl in front of her smiled, showing off her tooth gap. Luna thought she was adorable.

“Has he now? I’ve heard a lot about you guys too-”

“Okay! So I’ve talked about everyone, let’s move on passed that, yeah?”

“We’ll save you the embarrassment, don’t worry. Oh, and Luke. I did like your music”

After that afternoon, Luna wasn’t able to get rid of the boys. She didn’t mind, she found that being a solitary ghost was so much less fun than being part of a group again.

“So what did you think?” Reggie asked her on the observatory that night, pulling her body closer than what she had leaned on.

“They’re nice” she hummed “Hey, can I tell you something? I’m scared again”

“Why?”

“I think I love you”

“Well, if it helps, I think I love you too”

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 1,702 Words

Summary: Training and Todoroki siblings.

Warnings: Abuse Mention, Death Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Notes: Touya’s clothes include links to what they look like.

Hair Dye Buddies: Chapter 5

"Where are we headed? The teacher dorms?" Touya asked.

"They're right over there." Shoto told him, showing him the building inside the gates. "But we're not going there. Mr. Yamada is over in the 1-C dorms right now, talking to Shinsou, another friend of mine through Midoriya, I guess. We're gonna go bother him and ask if you can train."

Shoto led Touya along after him into the 1-C dorms and was instantly greeted with exclamations of a new student from about half the populous. Touya was happy he still had a mask on his wrist because he heard someone coughing. He quickly put it on his face as he hid behind Shoto.

"No, this is my brother. Where's Present Mic? Still in Shinsou's room or down here?" Shoto asked the tall one with the big chin.

"Mr. Yamada is up in that weirdo's room. Is your brother even allowed on campus?"

Shoto brushed past him, taking Touya's wrist in hand and pulling him along to stay closeby so he wouldn't get bothered by the Gen Ed students who had bombarded them at the door. Touya got led up to the fifth floor and the fourth room on the boy's side before Shoto knocked on the door.

"S'up, little listeners?" Present Mic asked as he opened the door to reveal who Touya was assuming was Shinsou sitting on the bed looking rather tired.

"Is this a bad time?" Shoto asked.

"Not at all, me and Shinsou here were just talking about something but we were just finishing up since Shinsou needs to get his sleep in." Mr. Yamada told them. He was loud and energetic and bubbly, Touya was reminded of Fuyumi.

"Mr. Aizawa said we'd need someone to watch over Touya if he were to train his quirk. and Mr. Aizawa feel asleep in the 1-A commons. I'm sure that Sero's put whipped cream in his hand by now. But Touya needs a teacher to watch him and you're the only one who I knew where you were." Shoto told him.

"Alright, I'll be there just gimme a few minutes, little listeners!" Present Mic beamed and closed the door over. The pseudo-twins stood down the hall by the stairs and waited about ten minutes for Shinsou and him to finish up and hopefully Shinsou was falling or already asleep. He'd looked like he'd need it.

Shoto led Touya back through the students downstairs but this time, Mr. Yamada was leading them through. They began the twenty minute trek to Gym Gamma and they began there.

"Alright, kid, show us what you've got." The teacher told him and he unleashed a blizzard in the building they were in, icing the walls and floor with its intensity before he stopped it of his own will, something he'd never have achieved with his old fire. "That's a mighty strong blizzard you got there, kiddo." Yamada told him.

"Thanks." Touya mumbled.

"Do you have any special moves yet? Yamada asked.

"No, but I guess I could work on it?" And thus began trying for hours until he came up with a concentrated stream of snow flurries being like a firework, his snow acting as a smokescreen, and he learned how to create instant-made snowballs.

"You did great, little listener! I'm proud of you!" Yamada exclaimed.

"Thank you." He mumbled as Shoto and him went back to the dorms and Mr. Yamada

"Do you wanna take a shower, Touya?" Shoto asked.

"Sure."

"If you didn't pick up anything for yourself, I have some soaps in there. Most are for dry skin, but that's probably a plus with how much your fire used to give you burns. The whole towel closet is communal so you don't need to worry about grabbing the wrong one." Shoto told him as they got into the dorms.

"Yeah, thanks, Sho." Touya smiled.

"The twins are bonding!" Yaoyorozu looked pleased.

"Hi, Momo." Shoto greeted them.

"Hi, Momo." Touya parroted.

"Did you have fun training, Touya?" She asked.

"Yeah, I came up with a few things I can do besides just making a blizzard. It feels like this quirk was actually made for me." He proudly announced.

"That's great, Touya. I'm happy you're advancing quickly!" Momo bubbled with energy and smiles. Touya smiled back a bit, her energy was unmatchable, though.

"Hey there, Touya." Came Aizawa from the living room.

"Hi, Mr. Aizawa." He muttered.

"Us teachers had a meeting about the permanence of your deaging and Nezu has your adoption papers going through tonight on a UA direct order. All you need to do is sign them since you're technically a legal age and you'll legally be my son come tomorrow morning." Aizawa handed him a paper on a board.

"Okay." Touya read it over briefly before he signed on the line for his name to be.

"Congratulations, you're my son as of dawn tomorrow. Welcome to the family, we have more cats than humans." Aizawa told him, patting his head and Touya thought he'd get hit for a split second and jolted a the touch.

"Sorry." He muttered. "Didn't mean to react like that."

"You can't help engrained habits and I don't get offended by old habits. They die hard, I get it." Aizawa told him. "Alright, get a shower, you trained with Hizashi, I heard."

Flopping on his bed after his shower felt like heaven. Touya wasn't sure that wasn't what this was, actually. No Endeavor, no abuse, he had his brother, friends, a new parent even. He felt like he was home as he fell asleep in the cloud of a bed, cuddling a pillow close.

He heard but didn't react when Midoriya and Bakugou had their inevitable argument or Aizawa screaming at them to both shut up. He was actually kind of happy to have been deaged. Whatever life he had, he didn't care what it was, couldn't have been better than this new second chance at life.

The next morning was a weekend. Naturally, Aizawa invited Fuyumi and Natsuo over to speak on the matter of Touya's deaging. As soon as Natsuo walked into the meeting room and saw Touya, he was bawling and Fuyumi gasped and stood still. Shoto had to lead her in all the way to close the door.

"Touya, you're alive." Fuyumi whispered.

"Hi, guys." He awkwardly greeted them.

"As you can see we have some serious business to discuss. Please, sit." Aizawa told them. Both older siblings sat down in the chairs around the table.

"How is he alive!?" Natsuo asked loudly, causing the other three siblings to jump.

"Touya was found by Kirishima here the night before last." Aizawa gestured to Kirishima sitting next to him. "Touya has been permanently deaged five years for the last month. And his quirk was changed by the man Kirishima found harassing him outside a convenience store." Aizawa told them.

"He was on the streets two weeks and that man, Matsuda Ryuu, housed him for two weeks after." Aizawa told them. "Touya was temporarily enrolled into UA's hero course so I could keep an eye on him, however his enrollment will be come permanent if that's what he wants. I've legally adopted him since he's stated, at this age, your father threw him out onto the streets to begin with."

"Touya is staying in the 1-A dorms and I trust neither of you will have trouble not telling your father of this development until we figure out how to handle the situation of your father possibly trying to take custody back." Aizawa looked at Natsuo and Fuyumi expectantly.

"Of course not!" Fuyumi exclaimed.

"I don't speak to that piece of shit." Natsuo told him.

"I'll likely tell him once I establish full custody and fully move him into both my house and the dorms. Get him set up, establish communication lines to me and my partner, Hizashi." Aizawa told them.

"You'll keep him safe?" Was all Fuyumi asked.

"Of course. I'm his new parent and guardian, of course I'll keep him safe."

"Alright. Then, I don't see a problem." Natsuo told Aizawa and he looked over Shoto and Touya. "You know, I always thought you two looked like twins." Natsuo told them abruptly.

"Alright, if everyone's good with this, you two have full admission to the campus for the day so you can spend time with Touya and Shoto. Touya has yet to set up anything in his room, so hopefully you two can help him with that." Aizawa told them.

And, with that, the four siblings were off to the dorms and ended up in Touya's room, Natsuo laughing when he saw the clothing Touya had.

"You're still our emo brother, Touya, good to know." Natsuo smiled brightly.

"Yeah. Kirishima's friends took me out for that." Kirishima slung his arm around Touya's shoulders.

"Yeah, his style's a lot like Bakugou so a lot of that stuff is things we picked out for him." Kirishima told them. "This shirt is actually one Kaminari, our local pikachu, picked out for him. Speaking of, I should probably stop him from trying to get his toast out with a fork for the fifth time this week." Touya let them look at the black shirt with chains he was wearing as Kirishima saw himself out.

"I'm glad to see you never changed." Fuyumi beamed.

"I never aged, guys, of course I didn't change. I'm an angsty teenager in the prime of my quarter-life crisis." Touya reminded them.

"You know what I mean." Fuyumi smiled brightly as she hugged him close, she was sniffling? Was she crying? Touya tried to look up but his head was buried in her neck in a way he could barely move it. "I missed you so much." She whispered.

"I mean, I missed you guys too, for the month I remember at least." Touya admitted.

"We thought you died, Touya." Natsuo joined Fuyumi. Shoto awkwardly hugged him as well.

"You three will make me cry and then Mina will be mad about my makeup getting messed up again." Touya let his siblings tackle him into a cuddle pile on the bed. He felt safe having people, his siblings no less, holding him so close.

Taglist: @lgbtforeverything @rin-tanaka @everythingisstardust

[creativewritingpracticestudio]

Upcoming Fics That I’m Working On:

If it has a line through it, it’s been completed!

Guns N Roses:

Axl Rose NSFW alphabet

Duff McKagan NSFW alphabet

Slash Hudson NSFW alphabet

Izzy Stradlin x Reader smut fic: He gets turned on when you eat a popsicle in front of him.

Older!Axl Rose x Reader smut fic: You’re his younger girlfriend, and the media is saying a lot of awful things that make Axl feel insecure, so you show him that you love him for who he is, no matter what the paparazzi wants to say about it.

Duff McKagan x Reader smut: size kink.

Slash Hudson x Reader(no smut): You and Slash are a laid back couple, and you accidentally forget about Valentine’s Day, so Axl plans a fancy double date for the two of you, and for him and Stephanie.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader x Axl Rose threesome smut fic: Axl’s been flirting with you and teasing Izzy about possibly stealing you from him for the entirety of the tour, so Izzy fucks you senseless in front of Axl to show him who you belong to(also, Axl joins in towards the end.)

Steven Adler x Reader Hurt/Comfort Smut fic: After Steven finds out that his girlfriend cheated on him with Axl, and that it’s been recorded for a song, he’s hurt. So, he comes to you for comfort.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Hurt/Comfort and Angry Smut fic: Izzy can usually put up with Axl’s outbursts. But when Axl decided to turn his anger on you, that’s when Izzy’s had enough.

Axl Rose x Reader Hurt/Comfort fic: An argument with Axl turns into him confiding in you about his childhood abuse as you hold him in your arms.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut fic: Stephanie wants Axl to go on a date with her, but the tables for two always take forever, so they decide to make it a double date. How? By setting Izzy up on a blind date with one of Stephanie’s friends, AKA you. Izzy’s less than excited, until he sees how hot you are. Maybe the night won’t be a waste, after all.

Older Axl Rose x Assistant!Reader Smut: You’re Axl’s younger assistant, helping him out backstage. But this day isn’t like most others; Axl’s got a little problem, and it definitely requires your help, but it might be a little above your pay grade. (Hint: the problem requires you to do some work on your knees.)

Older! Slash Hudson x Younger!Reader Smut fic: You’re Richard Fortus’s 20-something niece who he brings with him backstage one night to introduce to his bandmates, including the famous Slash. Unbeknownst to him, you and Slash instantly like each other, and begin dating despite the large age difference. It’s a great relationship; the only issue is making sure Richard doesn’t find out.

Slash x Reader Song fic: Based off the song “Do I Wanna Know” by Artic Monkeys; Slash meets the reader at a bar one night and is instantly taken by her; he begins to come see her there every night, even though he knows that it will probably never go anywhere(or will it? You gotta read to find out!)

Older! Duff McKagan x Reader blurb: watching art restoration videos in bed while eating takeout.

Slash Hudson x Reader angst-fluff fic: During a heated argument, Slash says something to you that he shouldn’t have. You get angry and try to leave, but Slash can’t lose you.

Duff McKagan x Reader fluff fic: You and Duff adopt a pig together!!! :)

Duff McKagan x Reader x Steven Adler Smut fic: You and Duff have been together for a long time now, and he finally works up the courage to ask you-will you have a threesome with him and his best friend, Steven? Obviously, the answer is yes, but how will it go?

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Fluff: You meet Izzy after he becomes sober.

Older! Insecure! Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut: Izzy’s feeling insecure about his age and the age gap between you and him, so you decide to cheer him up ;)

Duff McKagan x Reader Smut: Duff walls in on you looking at porn magazines, and wants to join in. Stuff goes down.

Current! Axl Rose x Reader Smut: You’re Slash’s daughter, and you’re having a secret relationship with Axl. Slash catches the two of you having sex.

Izzy Stradlin x Reader Smut: You and Izzy are two close friends. You’re tired of being a virgin, and you just want to get the first time having sex over with, so he decides to help you out.

Sub! Steven Adler x Femdom! Reader Smut: A self-indulgent fic of mine where Steven finally agrees to let you dominant him in bed. This was literally just an excuse for me to write Steven being all innocent and flustered and shit, btw. I won’t include pegging in this, but I’m really close to writing a pegging fic. This will have degrading, praising, bondage, and basically just you babying the fuck outta Steven while he acts all innocent and confused.

Sub! Steven x Femdom! Reader Smut: Steven likes sitting in your lap, and you like embarrassing him in front of his bandmates. So, when he’s sitting in your lap at a band practice and gets hard, you naturally decide to have a little bit of fun.

Current! Steven Adler x Younger!Reader Fluff and Smut: You’re a younger, famous singer who Steven falls in love with. He decides not to tell you, out of fear that you couldn’t possibly feel the same way, but he actually couldn’t be more wrong.

Current! Axl Rose x Daughter! Reader Fluff: Axl discovers that he has a long-lost daughter who’s been living in a group home, and decides that he has meet her.

Current! Axl Rose x Reader Smut: As was requested, this is an absolutely dirty fic; spit kink, choking, daddy kink, etc. Axl shows zero mercy, and it’s very sexy.

Mötley Crüe

Tommy Lee x Reader Smut fic: overstimulation kink.

Mick Mars x Reader Smut fic: You write him a love letter before every concert, just to boost his self esteem. This time, however, you’ve got a surprise; the letter isn’t as innocent as usual(basically, you sext him through a letter, and he has to read it in front of his bandmates.)

Oblivious!Tommy Lee x Reader Smut: You’re really horny, but Tommy, being his energetic and slightly ditzy self, doesn’t seem to be getting the hints. Guess you’ll have to show him in a hands-on way.

Mick Mars x Reader Fluff fic: Mick’s back is hurting him, so you give him a nice back massage.

Tommy Lee x Reader Smut fic: You and Tommy are a hedonistic couple with one goal: experience as much pleasure as possible without dying. Your relationship is sex, drugs, and alcohol, and that doesn’t change tonight: the two of you go to a party, get high in a broom closet, and explore each other’s bodies.

Tommy Lee Prompt Fic: “Wow, do you want subtlety to go with that makeup look? Because you don’t have any.”

Nikk Sixx Prompt Fic: “Your stamina is admirable. I wouldn’t be able to fuck ten groupies in a row and then still have the energy to get a hotdog.”

Mick Mars x Reader Smut Fic: You and Mick are taking a ride through town on his motorbike, when you decide to tease him, knowing he can’t do anything about it. Just wait til the two of you get home.

Vince Neil x Reader Sugar Daddy Headcanons

Nikki Sixx x Cheating!Reader Angst: A dark, angsty fic about you cheating on Nikki when he’s at his lowest point.

Tommy Lee x Reader Fluff: You buy Tommy some roses as a joke, but he turns out to love them a lot more than you expected him to.

Hanoi Rocks

Andy McCoy NSFW alphabet

Razzle Dingley x Reader Smut fic: kinky cuddles

Platonic Razzle Dingley x Reader prompt fic: “Your stamina is admirable. I wouldn’t be able to fuck ten groupies in a row and then still have the energy to get a hotdog.”

Nasty Suicide x Male!Reader Smut fic: Just sweet, fluffy smut!

All Members x Reader Smut fic: Literally just a gang-bang fic, not even gonna lie. You have sex with Michael, Razzle, Jan, Andy and Sami at the same time, and it’s basically the best experience of your life.

KISS

Eric Carr NSFW Alphabet

Ace Frehley NSFW Alphabet

Paul Stanley x Reader Headcanons-Headcanons about a gender neutral S/O who’s dealing with depression and can’t feel happy or sad.

Bruce Kulick NSFW Alphabet

Eric Carr x Reader Fluff: A cute fluffy fic about you and Eric having a beach day!

Ace Frehley x Reader Fluff: Just you and Ace cuddling and watching movies.

Marilyn Manson

Marilyn Manson NSFW Alphabet

Older!Marilyn Manson x Reader Smut: Hooking up before a concert.

John 5 x Pinup! Reader Smut: Reader looks like Dita Von Teese, and John sees her before a concert and decides to meet her.

Marilyn Manson x Reader x Ozzy Osbourne Smut fic: Threesome.

Dating Daisy Berkowitz Would Include

Daisy Berkowitz NSFW Alphabet

Dating Marilyn Manson Would Include

Daisy Berkowitz x Reader Smut/Fluff: Just you and Daisy doing couple shit, with a little bit of smut.

Twiggy Ramirez x Reader Angst: A songfic based off of the song Mechanical Animals; You and Twiggy are in a toxic relationship like in the song: he’s empty and unfeeling, you’re always angry and explosive, and the only thing keeping the two of you together is drug addiction.

Slipknot

Young Joey Jordison x Reader fic: No smut, just life on the road.

Iron Maiden

Nicko NSFW Alphabet

Ramones

Joey Ramone NSFW Alphabet

Joey Ramone x Reader Smut: An awkwardly sweet fic about you and Joey being each other’s first times.

Joey Ramone x Reader Smut: Based off of the part of my NSFW Alphabet for Joey, where I mentioned his dirty secrets, which are that he likes to be rough/give orders, and that he likes red lingerie.

Metallica

Lars NSFW Alphabet

Current! James Hetfield x Plus Size!Reader Fluff/Slight Smut: You think that no one can pick you up due to your size, so James proves you wrong.

Johnny Thunders

Dating Johnny Thunders Would Include

Johnny Thunders NSFW Alphabet

Poison

Bret Michaels NSFW Alphabet

Skid Row

Rachel Bolan NSFW Alphabet

Snake NSFW Alphabet

Dating Snake Would Include

Scotti Hill NSFW Alphabet

Rob Affuso NSFW Alphabet

Dating Scotti Hill Would Include

Dating Rob Affuso Would Include

Van Halen

Eddie Van Halen NSFW Alphabet

Ratt

Warren Demartini NSFW Alphabet

The Beatles

The Beatles x Reader Fluff/Smut: The four guys pull a prank on you, but it goes too far and they make you cry. They decide to be sweet to you to make up for it..and by sweet, I mean sweetttttt ;)))

LA Guns

Kelly Nickels NSFW Alphabet

Phil Lewis NSFW Alphabet

Kelly Nickels x Reader Smut: Just some nice smut between you and Kelly!

Machine Gun Kelly + His Band

JP Cappelletty/Rook NSFW Alphabet

Nine Inch Nails/Trent Reznor

Trent Reznor NSFW Alphabet

Dating Trent Reznor Would Include

Type O Negative

Peter Steele NSFW Alphabet

Def Leppard

Steve Clark NSFW Alphabet

Aerosmith

Joe Perry NSFW Alphabet

Rammstein

Till x British! Reader x Richard Smut: A threesome between Till, Richard and the reader; they really, really like your accent.

[trashcatsnark]

Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀

Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche, 

B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)  

C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months. 

So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons

I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher;  “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too. 

I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in. 

Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him. 

However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time. 

He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed. 

Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt. 

I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens. 

Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process. 

Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week. 

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 1/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Welp! I started this back in March. It was supposed to be a oneshot and then I realised it was 200 odd pages. Whoops! Another songfic based on music by Joji. This one is Gimme Love, which some of you would probably know, it was circling TikTok for a while. Anyway, more song fics to come!! I hope y'all enjoy! Stay safe in these crazy times!

TW: Mental health, panic attacks

1993

"OK, so you got your apple juice, your finger sandwiches, and grapes. And most importantly, you got your best outfit on. Ready?"

No. I wasn't ready. They were going to eat me up. I knew just by how the 3 bitches off to the side stared and laughed. One of them was swinging from the bus stop pole. It sounded evil, but I hoped she would have fallen over.

"No." I clung to my Mother.

"Brianna." She uttered. She was tired, already having dealt with this before leaving the house. And it didn't help that Grandpa only laughed instead of helping out.

"No!" I said louder, squeezing my tiny fists into her shoulders.

"Look. Everything will be fine. The day will fly in, trust me. And I'll be right here when you get off the bus later." Mom continued.

She gave me a kiss on the forehead and shook me off.

As she smoothed her skirt down, I stamped my foot in a huff. For me, this was the second most ultimate betrayal that had ever happened to me. My Mom was making me go to school. How dare she.

"I love you, girl. Be good and have a great day." Mom said before walking away. My gaze followed, feeling the faucet in my eyes turn on. I was prone to cry baby behaviour around this age.

Now that my Mom was gone, it was all game for the bitches.

"Awww, the little baby needs her Mommy." One of them cooed in her fake voice. "Didn't you know the pre-school bus picks up two hours later?"

"Yeah!" Another decided to join in, "And I bet that's not even your real Mommy."

"She is too!" I clenched my tiny fists at my side. This was half true. I was an adopted child, but to me, Roberta was the best Mother I could have ever asked for. And no one had the right to question that.

"No, she's not! Your real Mommy didn't want you 'cause you're ugly!"

"Yeah, look at your hair. It looks like a fur ball."

"And your clothes are obviously hand me downs."

I stamped my feet again. "That's it! I'm giving you the finger!" I flipped them off. I picked it up from Mom, from the many time's drivers pissed her off. When she'd warn me never to do that, I knew it had some sort of power to it.

But it did nothing. The girls just laughed even more. I had no defences; therefore, I was left helpless.

The bus pulled up, and I was last to get in. The girls warned almost everybody to watch out for the "girl with the weird hair".

I moved down the middle of the bus, my head moving from side to side, hoping to find a seat.

Everybody with a free seat either put their bags on the chairs or put their feet up. I wanted to snap, demanding that they let me sit. But the fear inside rendered me silent.

I was nearing the back, where the 3 girls sat. They smirked upon seeing my face, relishing in the fact I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted was to turn back, get off the bus and lock myself in my house.

But as if someone above heard my innermost thoughts, that's when I heard it.

"Do you need a seat?"

I looked towards the voice. And I froze. There she was, an absolute angel. She looked like a Disney Princess with her bright blonde hair and blue eyes.

I hesitated for a moment. But the bus began to move. So I sat down next to her.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey." Her eyes were observing me, looking me up and down. And I felt even more stunned. "You have funny hair."

"My Mommy says I have lovely hair," I replied in defence.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way. I just never seen hair like that." The girl replied.

My hair wasn't even bad. I just had a massive head of untamed brown curls. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then again, I had never seen anyone with hair like hers. She looked like she had gone to a salon beforehand. "Your hair looks golden."

"Thank you." She smiled. "I'm Blair. My favourite colour is yellow, and I wanna be a singer when I grow up. How about you?"

"I'm Brianna. My favourite colour is pink. And...I wanna be a politician someday."

"What's a pola...polatichon?" Blair asked.

"A politician." I corrected her. "I don't know what they do. They just shout a lot. And that's what I want to do."

Blair had no idea what I was talking about, but she laughed anyway. And that made my heart skip a beat.

I felt something pelt the back of my head. I grabbed it, looking at the small rolled up bit of my paper in my hand. It was wet. I had just been spitballed for the first time.

Blair looked over her shoulder, and I did the same. It was the three bitches from the bus stop. They weren't even hiding their giggles.

"Not nice." Blair stuck her tongue out at them. Then, turning back around in her seat, she put her hand on mine. "Don't worry about them. I'm your friend, Brianna."

"Really?" My eyes brightened.

"Of course!"

As much as that statement had made my heart soar, how it made me feel like there was nothing to be afraid of…

It was the biggest lie I heard that day.

As soon as I got off the bus at the end of the day, I waved to Blair, unaware that she would be sitting with the 3 bitches the next day.

And then it went on for years, being that ugly girl with weird hair. And it didn't help that I needed glasses later in life.

But I wasn't completely alone. So let me tell you about Jujubee.

2020

"Hey, asshole! I'm pulling in there!"

Jujubee was hanging out the driver side window, flicking the indicator aggressively.

"Juju, can you just...not do that?" I asked, my eyes glued to my phone as I checked how many people had seen my Instagram story. It was a picture of the two of us, showing off our outfits that had been gifted from Alexander McQueen.

"And let that asshole steal my spot? Absolutely not." Jujubee protested. She flipped the guy off, only to receive the same gesture back at her. She wasn't prone to behaving like this. I usually found it absolutely hilarious how loud she could be.

Now, you're probably wondering - two well-dressed ladies in their Alexander McQueen outfits should be seated in the back of a limo, sipping champagne.

I wasn't a fan of limos. They only drew attention.

And with Jujubee hurling dog abuse at the other drivers, I was sure the attention would be on us.

But we made it to the event without any trouble.

Jujubee was hilarious, intentionally and unintentionally. I learned that all the way back on my second day of school. When it was clear to me that I wouldn't be friends with anyone else, I ventured off on my own, exploring the playground and looking for bugs. But, instead, I found her sitting alone in the sandbox.

"Leave me alone. I'm trying to dig to the centre of the Earth." She had said, blowing her shiny black hair out of her face.

I knew she would only reach the bottom of the pit, so I laughed, and I helped her dig. We had been inseparable since.

We grew up together, all the way through elementary, high school and college. And through those years, we had one thing in common - we were the weird ones. The kids who everyone bullied.

Ugh, I hated that word; bullied. It made me feel pathetic and helpless. Jujubee and I, however? We were far from pathetic and helpless. After all, how would we even be where we were if that was the case?

OK, maybe I was pathetic and helpless growing up. No, I was. I had just accepted all the name-calling, the shoving, the damage. Jujubee, on the other hand, would fight against it all.

But back to the current situation. We were now sitting at a table with the other project workers. Everyone was having a great time, and the event hadn't even really begun yet. They passed jokes around, talked about trials and tribulations, and I laughed along.

But I may as well have been alone as I was stuck in my own thoughts. How it was even possible, we were all gathered here for this moment.

I looked at Jujubee, sitting next to me, and felt an overwhelming need to hug the shit out of her. If it weren't for her being so encouraging, then maybe this wouldn't have happened.

"What's up?" She caught me staring.

I lowered my head for a moment, breathing a laugh out through my nostrils. I didn't want to get sappy with her, even though she deserved my gratitude. My best friend, my ride-or-die bitch. Lifting my head again, I smirked. "Nothing. I'm just glad you're on this team." I raised my glass to her before sipping the bubbling champagne.

"Proud of you bitch." Jujubee reaching over and squeezed my free hand.

I was proud of me too. Because, despite all of the shit I dealt with in school, here I was, the manager and director of this whole operation.

All of the hard work paid off - years of trials and tribulations, so many arguments and disagreements. We finally did it. We found a gateway to another world, a parallel universe, a portal in the middle of the space just waiting to be explored.

Of course, people doubted me. They said things like, "Well, it is a dream, all right." How could anyone blame them?

But here we were.

The speaker, Michelle, called me up onto the stage to receive a certificate, all encased in a glass frame. I exchanged air kisses with her and graciously took the award. Jujubee cheered me on as I stood up there, letting people take pictures.

And then came the obligatory speech.

I couldn't lie; I hated public speaking. It was always something I struggled with. But, I never backed down from one. I just liked to keep them short and sweet.

"Long story short, I had dreams, and I worked towards them. So, here I am, an example of the walking embodiment of success. And I thank each and every one of you, ladies and gentlemen. Have a great night."

Short and sweet. The crowd applauded.

Yes, I was told in the past that I'm arrogant, but I disagreed. I'd say confident. And there was nothing wrong with confidence. After all, there has been a stigma around that word. Doesn't it come from a sense of insecurity, the need to tear successful people down because you're afraid to strive towards your goals?

I deserved to feel this successful, for all those times I was laughed at and ridiculed. I look down on all those assholes and let them know that I made it.

I posed for pictures as I held my award, knowing they would be everywhere the next day; in the papers, magazines, the Internet.

This wasn't the first award I had received. I had a shelf full back home, along with all of my past badges. They reminded me that, once upon a time, I was just any other office worker with her yellow badge. And now here I was, the director of the project with my black badge working closely with the government.

I got off the stage and moved back to my chair. Jujubee rolled her eyes, but her smile remained.

"Where's the after-party?" I asked as the audience shifted their attention from me.

Sometimes I never understood how she put up with me. "Don't worry. I got us covered."

She wasn't lying. A few hours later, we were in the apartment of some other rich somebody. Music was bouncing off the walls, the speakers apparently on full blast.

The main lights were out, replaced with multicoloured LEDs dancing around the place. It was as if we were in our own private club.

Jujubee and I were in the crowd dancing, but because I was absolutely wasted, I lost her many times.

No need to panic, however. Jujubee wasn't a drinker. So she'd find me. She always did.

I really did feel sorry that she had to deal with all of my shenanigans.

"Juju, where the fuck are you??" I roared, not that it would do much. Midsummer Madness by 88RISING was blaring now. Starting to stress out now.

I grabbed a champagne flute as a waiter walked by.

"Brianna, I love the dress." A woman leaned over and shouted in my ear. I had met her before at another event, a fashion reporter if I remembered correctly.

"Thanks. It's Versaci."

As I said earlier, it was fucking Alexander McQueen. I was faded.

Somehow I ended up in the bathroom, throwing up all the alcohol I had consumed into the toilet. After I finished, I washed my mouth out, looked at my reflection and said, "Baby, you're a star."

And somehow, I made it back downstairs. I was searching for Jujubee but found someone else instead. And it was fucking Ed Sheeran.

"I love your new song." I lied.

"Which one?"

"The new one." I smiled. "Hey, Ed. You wanna be the first person to go through the portal?" I wrapped an arm around him.

He looked absolutely taken aback. "Of fucking course. My manager will be in touch."

I really hoped he was joking. Why the fuck had I even suggested it?

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Jujubee. My nerves settled, and I leaned closer to her. "Let's go outside."

I had no recollection of making it out to the balcony. The only thing I remembered happening before then was rambling to many strangers about how much I adored Jujubee.

A few other party attendees were outside too. I wanted to tell them how I didn't deserve Jujubee and that she was an angel. But she quickly steered me away.

I looked out over the city, a happy smile on my face.

"Are you having fun, baby girl?" Jujubee asked, using her favourite pet name for me. She sparked up a cigarette. I wanted to ask her for one, having gone from chain smoker to social smoker in recent years. But I was too distracted by the view.

"Yeah. I can feel it, Juju." I replied, looking at my hands. It was almost like I could actually feel it. The euphoric feeling of success running in my veins. "Good things are coming."

"Oh, I feel it too." Jujubee blew out the smoke and followed my gaze. "You know what? Your Grandpa was a great guy. And I know that he's proud of you."

My smile dropped. And I was silent.

I preferred to avoid speaking about things like this. Emotions weren't something I liked to deal with - another difference between Jujubee and me.

Just the year prior, we both went to see Midsommar. During the scene where the main character is having a breakdown on the ground surrounded by the Hargan woman screaming along with her, Jujubee was captivated. She looked almost like she wanted to scream along with them. And as she squeezed my hand and leaned over to me, she said, "I need someone to do that with me." I replied with a quiet, "Can't relate."

I'm not insensitive. I just feared emotions for two reasons.

1. They could be weaponised against me. And as much as I tried not to let the online hate get to me, I knew that if it ever became personal, then it would hit difficult.

2. The most important reason of all; a childhood full of breakdowns and too many emotions.

Jujubee nudged me. "You wanna go?"

I didn't want to. But I said, "Yeah. I'm...so drunk right now," and turned away from the city view.

"Can I be that annoying whore and ask if I can stay at your place?" Jujubee asked, taking my hand.

She didn't even need a reason. "Yes, you can."

We waded our way through the crowd, made for the door and left. And before I knew it, we were back at my place, lying in my bed. I loaned her a t-shirt to sleep in. I wanted to sleep in my Alexander McQueen. But Jujubee wouldn't let me.

We both lay there, facing the ceiling. I could already feel the oncoming suffering. Usually, I loved moments like these, when time became fluid, when I didn't have to worry about how I had even gotten home.

But my head was pounding, and the loud ringing in my ears was the cause. If I was bad now, I'd be dead by morning.

I could feel Jujubee's eyes on me, and I looked back at her. She was smiling, her brown eyes glimmering. "Almost there, girl."

Despite the pain I was in, I smiled back. I knew this whole thing, the thingy, the portal; it wasn't just my dream. It was hers too.

Fuck, I was hammered.

"Almost there," was all I could manage to say.

Jujubee turned on her side and treated me to some cuddly spooning. "OK, go to sleep, loser."

It was straining on my neck, but I kept my head turned, letting my eyes linger for a moment longer. God, I fucking loved that bitch. Nothing was ever going to come between us, and that made me the happiest.

I turned over, my back relaxing against her torso. Then, before giving in to my exhaustion, I checked my phone. The bright light made me squint at first. And the alcohol in my system didn't help matters.

I checked how many people had seen my story now. The number was blurry. So I aimlessly swiped notifications away.

But I stopped at one message in particular.

Blair: Hey Brianna! Long time no speak. I just wanted to say I saw pictures from your thing tonight. Congrats, girl! Look, I know you're probably super busy, but I'd love to have a catch up with you sometime.

"..." My eyes were wide. Now that was a name I hadn't heard in a long time.

1995

"Do you see Cassiopeia yet?" Juju whined.

I was trying my hardest to find it in the telescope. But the stars were all in clutters; there were so many. "No. I think I see the big dipper, though."

"Really? Let me have a turn!" Juju begged.

I pulled away from the telescope, allowing Juju her turn. Usually, I would have refused, only letting her use the scope after finding what I was looking for.

I really hadn't found the big dipper, but Juju bought it. "Wooooow. That's so cool."

"I know, right?" I smirked.

The backdoor opened, and Grandpa came out in his winter jacket, pj's and his signature slippers. "How many have you girls found now?"

He was carrying two mugs of hot chocolate with whipped cream. I cheered excitedly because Grandpa's hot chocolate was the best, and I'd fight anyone who tried to tell me otherwise.

"We found the big dipper. But that's it." Juju replied, sounding very much let down.

"Don't lose hope," Grandpa gave us our hot chocolate, "some are harder to find than others. I bet there are a lot more constellations out there that haven't even been discovered yet."

I sipped the hot drink, and I could feel it already warming me up. I was so tempted to take my gloves off and let the mug warm them up. But we promised my Mom we would stay wrapped up. "Do you think we could discover one?"

Grandpa took a seat on one of the old deck chairs. "Brianna, you can do anything you set your mind to. Anything is possible."

"One day, I wanna get into a rocket ship and fly away," I said, looking up at the night sky, imagining the scene in my head.

"Hey, Mr Caldwell, are there other people like us? Just looking up at the sky?" Juju asked, taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

"That's an interesting question. I'd say yes, what with how nice the sky is tonight," Grandpa let his gaze trail up, the stars reflecting in his eyes, "But did you know, somewhere far, far away, there are two little girls who are exactly like you. They look the same, they talk the same and even have your names. And they are doing exactly what you're doing right now."

My brows knit in confusion, "what do you mean 'far far away?"

Grandpa looked down again, seeing how intrigued Juju and I was. "Let's just call it the other world. It's basically like our world, but...certain things are different. Like," he paused to think, "maybe cats bark and dogs meow. Or, maybe the sky is pink and not blue. Maybe you girls are actually older, and I'm the young one."

"Do horseys fly in the other world?" Juju asked with much optimism.

"Probably. I don't see why not." Grandpa shrugged.

I glanced up at the sky as if I would somehow just see it. Another world where life was somewhat better.

"Would my Mommy and Daddy have given me up in the other world?" I asked quietly.

Grandpa was silent. His lips were pursed, forming a tight line like there were words on the tip of his tongue that he knew he shouldn't say.

Juju hugged me from the side. I wanted to hug her back but didn't want to cry.

Her hold made me feel safe, so I offered her a half-smile.

Since my first day at school, when those cretins had tried to tell me Roberta wasn't my real Mom, it stuck with me. Yeah, I knew deep down those girls didn't know shit, and Roberta was the best Mother in the world, but I was only human.

As much as I loved my Mom, Grandpa and other family members, I just wanted to feel acceptance from my biological parents.

"Brianna, honey, whoever your family is in the other world, I'm sure they love you from the bottom of their hearts. Just like we do." Grandpa said. He extended his arms out, offering me a hug.

I didn't want it. But I knew I needed it.

That night, we didn't find any constellations. Not that it mattered. After my Grandpa went back inside, Juju and I were set on finding the other world instead.

And this interest went on for nearly a whole year.

It sounded dumb, but we would play games where we were our 'other world selves'. Juju lived in a house full of cats, and they were 'cutest cats in the whole country. So cute they won every pageant!'

And I lived in a huge mansion with my Mom, Grandpa, and my biological parents.

We collectively agreed that our other world selves were the prettiest girls in school, and we had tons of friends. We were so cool, we didn't even have to go to school.

Of course, this started a minor argument between us. Juju would always say, "how can we be the prettiest girls at school if we don't have to go to school??"

"Shut up, Juju! Anything is possible in the other world!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't make sense!"

All of it was so ridiculous. But we loved every minute of it.

I'll never forget the time we built a fort in the woods at the back of my house, and Juju stood under the archway and shouted. "I'm the queen of 'Other World'. Beware ye bastards who enter our domain!"

Then she got upset because she said a bad word and thought she had betrayed her parents.

A few minutes later, I fucked up.

"I, Brianna Caldwell, am the Queen of 'Other World'. I sit on this throne along with my best friend, Blair St Clair!"

Juju was even more upset now.

"Why is she your best friend?? I'm your best friend!" She began to cry.

"Jujubee, it's only pretend." I tried to reason with her.

"No, Brie-Brie. You're always talking about Blair! I know you would rather be best friends with her than me!"

"That's not true!"

"It is!" She wept. "She'll never be your friend, Brie-Brie. She doesn't even like you."

"Take that back!"

"No!"

My anger was bubbling beyond the boiling point. So I shoved her over. "Go away. Now!"

Juju ran off crying.

My teeth were grit, my fists clenched. For about 5 minutes, I stormed around the fort, screaming in anger and kicking the ground.

Mom was freaked out. She knew it was me screaming, so she came running. When she found me, she shouted at me for scaring the absolute fuck out of her.

This only pissed me off more. It took her 5 minutes to get me to chill out.

When I finally explained what happened, she told me it was OK and that we'd be friends again the next day.

It didn't help my mood, so she took me to the mall. It was a rare occasion for us to visit the place. We weren't the richest, what with Mom struggling to keep a job. She wasn't a lousy worker; someone else would just come along who was much more experienced. And without another parental figure to help out, it just meant not much money was being brought into the house.

But Mom decided we'd go to the toy store, and I'd find two dolls, one for me and one for Juju. I made sure they looked exactly like us. Well, considering the nice clothes and great hair, they were our other-selves.

And leaving the building, I was perched on Mom's shoulders, eating the biggest ice cream cone I had ever gotten, when I looked over at the jewellery shop. Two women were leaving the store, holding hands. They leaned in close to each other and kissed.

I just...stared as they smiled at each other, mesmerised by the adoration they so clearly shared.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Brianna, baby?"

"Why are those two ladies kissing?"

Mom cast a quick glance to where I was looking. "Oh. OK, first of all, don't stare. It's rude. But yeah, they're just two ladies in love with each other. That's all."

I looked away, just as she told me to do. "They're in love? I thought only boys and girls could be in love."

"I guess they're still telling you that in school, huh?" Mom quipped. "Well, I'll tell you this, but keep it on the down-low 'cause I don't want no parents coming and knocking on my door saying you're putting ideas into their kids' heads." She laughed. "The truth is; boys can fall in love with boys, and girls can fall in love with girls. You fall in love with whoever your heart tells you to, Brianna."

I nodded. "Uh, huh. OK, I understand." But then, it hit me. "Fuck."

"Brianna." Mom warned. She knew I was prone to sometimes spurting a few cuss words. But she only had herself to blame.

"Sorry, Mommy." And as we left the mall, my brain couldn't stop thinking about what had popped into my head.

Maybe, just maybe, I was in love with Blair.

My mind was taking me back to years prior, still in my first year of elementary school. It was coming up to Valentine's Day, and we all had to make a card for someone in the class. Bit of a weird activity for a bunch of kids who were more concerned if they were getting bikes for Christmas or not.

And I slaved over my card, making it yellow instead of the traditional pink colour, and drawing daisies all over it.

The message read, "You really deserve this. You're welcome." I've always been a poetic genius.

And instead of giving it to any of the boys, I insisted it went to Blair.

I had vague memories of that day. I only remembered her confused face as I handed it over.

I never received a card in return.

Of course, the other kids picked on me for it. But Juju had my back.

"You're all just jealous 'cause Brie-Brie's card is unique!" I remember her shouting.

But of course, they weren't jealous. This concept was foreign to them - a girl gifting another girl with a Valentine's Day gift. But then again, they just didn't know any better.

[writeyouin]

Swerve X Reader – Changes - Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – The Arena

A/N – I finally came back to this, my poor abandoned baby.  As usual, a special thanks to @rocksinmuffin​​ without whom, this story wouldn’t exist.

Warnings – Minor suicide mention.

Rating – T

“That is the cruellest thing I have ever seen you do,” Swerve glowered at you.

“It had to be done. There was nothing else for it,” You replied nonchalantly.

“RODNEY DID NOTHING WRONG.”

“He existed.”

“SO YOU JUST KICKED HIM OUT FOR EXISTING?”

“Look, you get to choose your Animal Crossing villagers, and I get to choose mine.”

“Abuse them, more like,” Swerve pouted.

“Fine, do you want to play on the switch and adopt an ugly-ass hamster who does nothing but bitch all day?” You asked, holding the console out to Swerve.

He took it from you, placing it on the tallest shelf in the hab-suite, “You can have this back when you learn kindness, you monster.”

“… That’s just mean,” You said, looking despondently at the shelf which was labelled No Man’s land. Beside the switch was a copy of Harry Potter which had been removed from you until you could read it without yelling at Snape every time you saw his name, and several pictures of Getaway which you had scrawled insults on; Swerve wasn’t punishing you for those, he just liked admiring them every now and then while you worked on new insults to scribble.

“Okay, fine, you can have it back right now, if you say that hamsters are cute,” Swerve grinned.

“Clearly, you’ve never seen one in real life. They work for the devil and steal people’s souls. I’m ninety percent sure that they also have armies ready to-”

Pain wracked your body and you woke up screaming to find your captors prodding you with weapons akin to cattle prods but much larger and stronger. It was the same creatures that had captured you.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?” You yelled through the pain.

The humanoids didn’t reply, staying eerily silent; you wondered whether they were even capable of communication in a way that you might understand.

“All right, that’s enough… For now,” A human called, stepping forward, looking completely out of place among the others.

Your captors backed away, leaving you alone with the human on the opposite side of the cell. You glared at the woman, who couldn’t have been older than thirty. She wore acidic green armour that bore a symbol of a decapitated robotic head with wires and cables sticking out from the neck; the ensemble made you nervous.

“So… You’re our newest contestant. How dull,” She commented boredly, examining you.

“Contestant? What do you mean?” You asked fearfully.

Once again, you were left without a reply as the woman pulled out a dictation machine and began talking into it as if you weren’t there. “Subject is of questionable build. A Minibot. No definable insignia – probably a NAIL. Presumably no fighting skill of which to speak. No weapon attachments that can be seen. One noticeable draw to the crowds is that it’s a female – a rarity in itself.”

“Oh my God, are you- Fuck, are you putting me in the hunger games?” You demanded incredulously.

“The bot uses organic terms in communication. It’s possible that it has spent much of its time around organic communities rather than with its own kind.”

Although you knew you could argue that you weren’t originally a Cybertronian, you decided that it probably wouldn’t get you very far with your captor; she was clearly only interested in her job, whatever that was. You doubted that you would get anywhere talking to her.

“So that’s it? You’re going to put me into an arena to fight? Did I get it right? Hey! HEY, I’M TALKING TO YOU. YEAH, BITCH WITH THE BAD HAIR, YOU!”

The childish attempt at an insult earned you a bemused glance, and the woman paused the dictation machine.

“You ought to mind your manners, or you’ll be in a much worse condition before the fight, and that will only bore the spectators,” She warned you.

“I’ll behave, if you at least tell me your name. I’d like to know who I’m insulting.”

Your roguish attitude earned a sadistic smile; it wasn’t every-day that your captor met a Cybertronian with any spirit left, “Lady Ouida.”

“Stupid name,” You murmured, mostly to hide your fear. “So I’m right about this being a colosseum of sorts?”

“Yes. You are to fight in the arena.”

“And if I win, I go free?”

“No. If you win, we kill you anyway. The people are out for Cybertronian blood after all.”

“Wow… That’s so fucking stupid. Like for real, did you take this out of a book? It’s not very creative is it? How many movies have you seen where the hero is thrown into a death ring to battle? Plus, there’s not going to be much of a fight. I mean, look at me. My arms are all fucked up from your bodyguards, I’m clearly not a fighter, and I’m like only three feet taller than you. Factor in multiple opponents and you get a five-minute fight, tops which will mostly be me running for my life.”

“You don’t seem too concerned with your fate.”

“Bitch, I am terrified, but I’ve seen death and been dragged back from it. I have defined the meaning of an out of body experience. Right now, I am competing with forces that you cannot even imagine in a brain that was not meant for me. In other words, there is nothing you can do that is worse than what I’ve been dealing with for the last forty-eight hours so GET FUCKED.”

The words PERSONALITY MALFUNCTION appeared on your visor, and you knew they were true. In your human form, you tended to avoid confrontation where you could. However, faced with the prospect of unavoidable death, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. There were only two options left for you anyway. Die in an arena, or wait for the Lost Light to come to your rescue. As you stared into the grinning face of Lady Ouida who had developed a sudden interest in you, you hoped it was the latter.

Chromedome sat miserably in the brig, having been put there for attempting to forcibly alter Swerve’s memory banks with mnemosurgery. He had lost count of how many times he had been in that exact scenario, where mnemosurgery was the only way forward, but nobody else would see it that way. How many times had Rewind refused to talk to him because of it? How often had he been forced to alter Rewind’s memory afterwards so he wouldn’t leave him? Chromedome held his head in his servos, thinking of Rewind. He wouldn’t believe it if Chromedome said it was all for Swerve. So what if mnemosurgery felt good, as long as it helped people it wasn’t that bad. Sure there were risks, but there were risks to all sorts of things that people did anyway.

With nothing else to do but think of his failure, Chromedome waited despondently in his cell, with the faintest of hopes that Rewind might deign to visit him, even if it was just to yell.

Ultra Magnus watched the security footage stoically from the computer panel in his office. As well as Chromedome, he was also watching Swerve, who had been restrained for his own safety and was sobbing loudly, screaming your name, and Whirl who was in the med-bay, awaiting yet another energon transfusion. Of the three, Whirl worried Ultra Magnus the most; he was not taking well to Ratchet’s surgery. He had damaged one of his internal components beyond repair and it was now up to Perceptor to create a suitable replacement. The replacement would undoubtedly need constant maintenance for the rest of Whirl’s life if he survived, but it was the only way forward.

Ultra Magnus looked up as the door flew open, and Rodimus came barging in.

“THIS IS A DISASTER!” Rodimus roared.

For once, Ultra Magnus didn’t have the spark to placate Rodimus; he was right, everything was going disastrously.

“WHIRL IS DYING. CHROMEDOME IS ALL KINDS OF MESSED UP. REWIND BLAMES ME FOR WHATEVER REASON. SWERVE IS SUICIDAL AND (Y/N) IS MISSING. Please tell me you have something that might help fix this mess?”

“I do not,” Ultra Magnus replied quietly. He had never felt like such a failure. Under his watch, everything had gone wrong. The Magnus armour was getting heavier every day; he didn’t deserve to wear it.

“FRAG! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? SHE COULD BE IN DANGER. THE ROD POD’S TRACKING SYSTEM IS FRAGGED. THE CREW ARE FURIOUS. THEY HAVEN’T BEEN THIS MAD SINCE-”

“OUT OF THE WAY, COMING THROUGH,” Nightbeat’s voice called in the corridor as he weaved through the few bots out there and made his way into the office with Megatron close behind him.

“Rodimus. Ultra Magnus,” Megatron greeted professionally, before gesturing for Nightbeat to take over.

“I FOUND (Y/N),” Nightbeat began ecstatically, completely missing the sombre atmosphere.

“What? How?” Rodimus asked, dumbfounded.

“I watched the Rod-Pod’s ejection from the bay and followed it through the security cameras. After that, it was simply a matter of predicting several plausible trajectory’s considering that (Y/N) isn’t a pilot-”

Rodimus waved his arms, “Forget I asked. Just tell me where she is.”

Nightbeat ignored his disappointment that the big reveal had been ruined; it had taken a lot of work for him to covertly listen to all the radio stations where you might have landed and then locate you from that. “She’s on a privately owned planet called The Arena.”

“The… The Arena?”

Megatron nodded solemnly, “Yes. My research tells me that they capture stray Cybertronians and-”

“Don’t tell me. They put them in the arena ‘cos they think that’s creative… Primus, that’s annoying. All right, plan time. We change course, go to The Arena, break in, rescue (Y/N) and make everything go back to normal. Any questions?”

Megatron took a moment to consider the plan, “How-”

“No? Great. Then let’s go. We’ve got work to do.” Rodimus transformed and drove out of the office to head to Brainstorm’s lab. He had brushed it off with his usual casual demeanour but just like everyone else, he was furious that anyone would want to hurt you. If he was going to rescue you, he would need weapons; the morally-grey kind that Brainstorm made.

Swerve sniffled, feeling pathetic as coolant that he couldn’t wipe away under his constraints dripped down his front. Yet another failed suicide attempt to go on his record; he couldn’t even do that right. He remembered the last time he had done something so drastic, when you had come to save him from himself; you had probably only married him out of pity. Despite the depressing thought, Swerve found himself unable to believe it. You had married him because for some reason that he didn’t understand, you loved him. The two of you had spent one year married and it had been the best year of Swerve’s life. When you brought up the idea of sparklings on your anniversary, Swerve couldn’t believe that life could be any better, and now after all of that you were gone.

Although Swerve longed to wallow in self-pity, he couldn’t help thinking of Chromedome. It seemed that his last conversation was finally sinking into Swerve’s processor. What was it he had said exactly? Swerve vented air through his systems, calming himself so he could isolate the memory file.

“YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT (Y/N)!”

While it was true that Chromedome could have just said that to stop Swerve from ending his life, there was also a slim possibility that Chromedome really did have new information about you.

Swerve kept replaying the memory’s audio, listening for the truth. As a bartender, he liked to believe he was good at separating lies from the truth, but when the other bots were sober, he wasn’t very good at it.

“(Y/N)…” Swerve whispered your name, wondering what he might not know about you as of that moment.

What if you had come back and he was wallowing in his cell, too wrapped up in himself to know about it? It wasn’t possible. If you were back, it didn’t matter what state Swerve was in; he would have been taken to you. Unless…

Swerve struggled to sit up, his processor racing with endless possibilities pertaining to your fate. What if he hadn’t been taken to you because your new body was failing? What if you were dying and Swerve wasn’t there? What if he was the only one that could help you?

Unbalanced as he was, Swerve managed to stand up. He started kicking at the door, yelling as loud as he could.

“HEY! GET ME OUT OF HERE! TAKE ME TO MY WIFE! TELL ME WHERE (Y/N) IS!”

Swerve didn’t pay much heed to what he was saying. All he cared about was getting to you, no matter what it took.

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[obxparadise]

Rebel Love Song

JJ Maybank x Female Reader 

Word count: 3,836

~JJ’s had enough of his abusive father and life on the Cut, so he tries to convince you to run away with him~

Song: Rebel Love Song by Black Veil Brides 

A/N: Leave a comment please :) 

*GIF is not mine, but found on Google. Creds to the owner!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cannot hide what’s on my mind

I feel it burning deep inside

A passion crime to take what’s mine

Let us start living for today

“You are a worthless piece of shit.”

“Shut up!”

“Your mama knew!”

“Shut up!”

JJ’s fist strikes his bedroom door, although he wishes it were his father’s face. It probably wouldn’t be as painful, and he’d feel good about it. But his dad would retaliate like he always did, and JJ’s face couldn’t handle another black eye or split lip. Luke had already done a number on his face twenty minutes prior.

Luke turns up the volume of whatever rock song is playing throughout the house, and JJ clutches the sides of his head, digging his palms into his temples, the thoughts in his head drowning out the song. What the hell was he listening to anyway? Judas Priest? Black Sabbath? He had no fucking clue.

He should be used to it all by now. The loud music. The constant drinking. The verbal violence. The physical abuse. The mental manipulation. It’s been going on for years. And there’s no way to stop it.

The cut on JJ’s lip burns as a salty tear mixes with the dried blood. He drags his fingers across the bottom of his lip, wincing. Thirty grand in restitution for a boat he didn’t even sink. He should’ve seen the punch coming, anticipated it as soon as he slid in the passenger’s seat of the beat up pick up truck. But it happened so fast, over and over, until Luke’s knuckles were painted red with blood.

He doesn’t regret taking the blame, though. Even if he now has to scramble to come up with thirty thousand dollars, JJ’s glad that he did the right thing for once in his life. Pope was a good kid, had too much to lose. But JJ? He had nothing.

The music dies down in the living room and JJ peers toward the door, heart hammering against his chest as he waits for Luke to bust into his room. His fists are balled by his sides, ready to attack if necessary, but the door never opens.

JJ takes it upon himself to crack open the door, just enough for him to peer out into the living room and see Luke passed out on the sofa. Empty beer bottles are scattered along the coffee table and a pill bottle is just barely sitting in Luke’s hand that dangles off the couch. Just another typical Tuesday in the Maybank household.

It’s times like these JJ wishes he wasn’t an only child. Although he’s glad no one else is subjected to Luke’s abuse, the house gets lonely. Talking to his father is impossible. His mother is nowhere to be found, and he resents her for leaving him to live with a monster, to fend for his life.

He could always talk to his friends, though.

Ah, scratch that. They’re all busy tending to their own lives.

Pope’s in and out of scholarship interviews.

Kiara’s working overtime at the Wreck.

John B is glued to Sarah Cameron’s hip.

But there’s one more person left. One person that would always make time for him. One person he could confide in no matter the circumstances.

JJ retrieves his phone from the back pocket of his shorts, typing out a quick message.

Can you meet me at the dock?

He smiles as your name pops up on the screen, promising to meet him in ten minutes.

~

You watch from afar as JJ stands at the edge of the dock throwing rocks into the bay. The sun has begun to set, the sky now painted a light orange and pink, and there’s a slight chill in the air thanks to the open water. Tugging the sleeves of your hoodie down to cover your hands, you shuffle quietly along the wooden boards.

JJ’s body instantly relaxes when your arms circle his middle, forehead resting against his back. The cologne on his body mixed with his natural scent is what keeps you still against him until he turns around to hold you. He needs this hug. You can just tell.

“I owe thirty grand for sinking Topper’s boat.” His voice is defeated, arms limp around your body.

Wherever trouble was, JJ found it. He was always getting into scuffles with the teenagers on the other side of the island, parents turned their noses down at him, and the cops had no problem blaming JJ for crimes he didn’t commit. The boy was an easy target.

You shake your head, refusing to believe his story, but asking the question anyway. “Why’d you do it?”

JJ pulls away, stuffing his hands in his pockets, eyes downcast on the dock. He doesn’t want to tell you the truth, but you have a guess as to who he’s protecting. “Just sick of everyone treating us differently because we live on the poor side of the island. Money isn’t everything, but it’s all these people on Figure Eight know.”

He’s not wrong. The rich kids on Figure Eight can’t separate fantasy from reality. They’ve never known struggle. They’ve always had designer clothes, food on the table, a roof over their heads, plus the perks. Motorcycles. Boats. Cars. Status. Friends. Opportunities. So much more than the average person could afford, or wish for.

And you were one of them.

It’s a wonder how you and JJ became friends. You knew of his hatred for rich kids before you’d even met him. But JJ saw something in you. You weren’t like the rest of them. You had a pure heart, kind soul. Being rich wasn’t a personality trait for you.

“I just,” Dragging a hand through his hair, JJ gazes at you sadly. His frown tugs at your heart. “I just want to get away, you know? I can’t hide it, but I’ve had thoughts about leaving the Cut, the OBX in general.”

Now that’s something you never would of thought would come out of JJ’s mouth. He lived and breathed the Outerbanks. He didn’t know anything else.

“Where would you go?”

He takes a seat on the end of the dock, feet dangling just above the water. You join him, sitting close, head on his shoulder, toes skimming the cool water.  “Paris. England. The Yucatan,” JJ chuckles, nudging you. “That’s long term.”

“What about now?”

JJ exhales, thinking hard. “Maybe Florida. Or Texas. California, possibly. I want to go somewhere warm, like OBX, with a beach and some palm trees,” JJ looks down at the top of your head, resting his cheek on your hair. Your presence calms him. “And I’d take you with me.”

He knocks the breath out of you. You were never one to plan for the future, but the future is all JJ can think about it. And he sees you in his future, wherever he decides to be. How could you possibly tell him that the life that was destined for you would always be in the Outerbanks, breaking his heart in the process?

“Don’t you want to start living? The way we want to?” JJ asks softly, fingertips grazing your leg. Goosebumps rise on your skin at his intimate touch.

“I already am,” you say, considering his words. “My life is here, JJ. I can’t leave it behind.”

“No, it’s not,” JJ retorts instantaneously, voice unwavering. “This life you’re living? It’s not yours. It’s your parents’.”

Bringing your knees to your chin, you reposition yourself to look at JJ, whose staring out at the bay, blue eyes scanning the water, tuffs of blonde hair dancing in the breeze. It’s the first time that night you really took notice of his face. Dried blood dots the corner of his mouth, and a purple bruise rings around his eye. There’s a tick in his jaw and his fingers drum quickly on his leg. He’s tense. “How so?”

He’s never been anything other than blunt. He hides nothing, letting you know how he thinks, what he feels. “Because you don’t stand up to them. They drag you to yacht parties on the weekend because you’ve never told them who your real friends are. They think Susie Milligan and Delia Pratton are your best friends, except they have no idea that you can’t stand them and would rather be surfing with Kie and John B. They make you stay in and study your dad’s old college textbooks, convinced you’re going to be the world’s greatest attorney, but you complain to Pope that the material is dry and you’ll never be happy working as a prosecutor.” Pulling a cigarette from his pocket and then lighting it, JJ takes a drag, puffing out the smoke before turning to face you. “You let them dictate what should be your life. What is it that youwant to do? You never talk about the future, but one day it’ll be here, and it’s sooner than you think.”

His eyes are focused as he waits for you to consider his question. The truth is, you know what you want, but you’ve never said it aloud. No one ever cared to ask, except for now. Except for JJ.

“I want to be a marine biologist,” you’re confident in your answer, and it leads you to spill more. A weight lifts off your shoulders. “I want to go to school in Hawaii or Australia and learn about animals, nature, sea life. I want to surf, fish, and wear flowers in my hair, embrace my free spirit.”

JJ’s smile encourages you. Opening up to him is so easy because he understands. He listens. And he wants the same freedom as you do. The only difference is, JJ will chase after his dreams.

“I want to learn how to play guitar, climb a mountain, run a marathon, learn Chinese, ride in a hot air balloon,” you take a second to catch your breath, feel the chill of the breeze on your legs. “I want to find love. Maybe get married, have a kid or two. Adopt five kittens. Build my own home with a pool that has a waterfall. I want to try escargot, visit a rainforest, and see the Northern Lights. I want so many things, JJ.”

“Then let’s do it,” JJ says, standing and pulling you to your feet. A smile lights up his face as he grabs your hands in his. It’s the happiest you’ve seen him in the last hour, but it contrasts with what you feel inside. “Let’s start living.”

~

Never gonna change my mind

We can leave it all behind

Nothin’s gonna stop us

No not this time

“Hawaii, huh?”

You look up from your soup. Kiara leans against the bar top, watching you curiously. JJ has gone off to the bathroom, the perfect opportunity for Kiara to grill you with questions.

“He seems pretty adamant,” she remarks, flipping hair over her shoulder. “What’d you say?”

The spoon clinks against the metal bowl as you set it down, dabbing your lips with a napkin. “I didn’t answer.”

“Don’t you think you should?” Kiara asks, playing with the beads on her bracelet. “From what JJ said, he seems pretty sure that wherever he goes, you’re following.”

“Oh, he’s set on us moving to the west coast, but I can’t just leave the OBX,” you counter, shoulders slumping. “My life is here.”

“Then why did you tell him all the things you wanted to do if you don’t ever plan on doing them with him?”

The million-dollar question.

“Because I knew he’d listen,” you say quietly. “I didn’t think he was serious about us leaving together, though. We’re sixteen, Kie. What sixteen year olds do you know drop everything and leave their home behind? And besides,” your laugh comes out strangled, “My parents would never let me leave. You know how they are. They don’t even like that I’m friends with JJ. They think he’s trouble, a bad influence. How do you think they’d react if I just up and left with him?”

Kiara leans in close, whispering, “That’s why you don’t tell them.”

You roll your eyes as Kie laughs. “I’m not going to change my mind on this, Kiara.”

Her face turns serious as she chews on the corner of her lip. The gears turn in her head as she contemplates. “Would it matter if I said JJ’s in love with you?”

Your eyes roam her face, waiting for a laugh, a smile, a teasing wink, but her composure is kept intact as she stares at you. Your face falters. “He—what?”

She nods. “What boy asks a girl to travel the world with him if he’s not in love with her?”

Color creeps up your neck, mouth dry, heart beating irregularly. Your body is jelly, almost sliding off the bar stool, but you slink back further into the chair, hands gripping the arm rests. “Are you sure?”

“If I was a gambler, I’d bet it all. That’s how sure I am.”

“I—no,” you dig in your purse for some cash, slapping the bills down in haste. “I’m either going to disappoint JJ or my parents, and I can’t disappoint my family. So, no, JJ being in love with me doesn’t change anything,” you say, exhaling a breath. “I’m not going with him.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

Kiara’s eyes expand, and you freeze. JJ’s boots pad against the floor as he pushes through the front door, angrily stomping into the night. You thank Kiara for the dinner before rushing outside to chase a visibly irritated JJ.

“JJ, wait!” Your hand clamps down on his shoulder, spinning him around. The look on his face is disheartening. You try to cradle his cheeks, something you normally did to comfort him, but he pushes your hands away. “Please, stop.”

“You were never planning to come with me, were you?” JJ questions, twirling a few of the rings on his fingers. “You were just…what? Entertaining me?”

“JJ, my life is here, in the OBX!” The words that use to flow perfectly off your tongue don’t even sound right anymore. Part of you doesn’t believe them. “I can’t just leave it all behind. And my parents…God, JJ, they’d never let me go with you. I mean, we’re so young.”

JJ nods, although he doesn’t understand. He knows you. He knows your heart. He knows where you really stand. But he can’t persuade you anymore than he’s tried. “I’m taking my dad’s boat and I am leaving tomorrow. I’m getting out of here because I know what I want and nothing is going to stop me.”

JJ turns, and your heart squeezes as you watch him leave. Your fingers twitch, begging to reach out to him. This can’t be it. He can’t be leaving you. “Is it true?”

He stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder.  “Is what true?”

You choke back a soft cry, voice croaking. “Are you in love with me?”

JJ faces you, staring absentmindedly. He wants nothing more than to hold you in his arms, kiss your breath away. But he keeps his distance, shoving his hands back into his pockets, whispering, “It doesn’t matter, because it wouldn’t be enough, anyway.”

~

Back home, you’re surprised to see your parents still awake, chatting softly at the island in the kitchen. You hastily wipe away any leftover tears before they can hound you with questions.

“You’re home late,” says your father, giving you a look. He’s the stricter parent of the two. “I assume you have a good reason?”

You keep the conversation short. “I got caught up talking to JJ. I lost track of time.”

Your mother wrinkles her nose, wine sloshing in her glass as she takes a sip. “How many times have we told you to stay away from that boy, Y/N? He’s trouble.”

“He’s not trouble,” you fire back, wishing you had come up with a lie instead of telling them the truth. “You’re just judgmental.”

“That’s enough,” your father snaps. He runs a hand over his tired face. Being an attorney has aged him ten years. And to think he wanted to send you down the same dreadful path. “I’m having lunch tomorrow with DA Lance Nicholas. I figured you could come along, ask him some questions--.”

“No.”

Your mother stares at you quizzically. “No?”

“Is tomorrow a bad time?” asks your father, loosening his tie. “I’m supposed to meet with him next week as well, if that’s better for you.”

You feel the rage building up inside of you as you remember JJ’s words. You let them dictate what should be your life. What is it that you want to do? “No, dad, there will never be a time that’s good for me to meet the DA, because I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want to be a lawyer.”

You’re sure they’ll yell, give you a hard time, but the laughs that come out of their mouths are surprising. You don’t understand why they’re laughing, but you’re determine to stand your ground, speak up.

“You’ve never once asked me what I wanted to do with my life.”

“Well, yes, because—.”

“Because you planned it for me.”

Your mom glances at your dad, unsure of how to continue the conversation. “Sweetie--.”

“I’m not going to law school,” The light dims in your father’s eyes, face growing red as your tone grows serious. He’s silent, but it doesn’t scare you. “Because I want to be a marine biologist.”

“Honey, listen,--.”

“I want to travel, see what the world has to offer me. I’m tired of being your puppet. I’m tired of pretending to like Susie and Delia. I’m tired of going to stupid yacht parties with out of touch rich people. I’m tired of reading college textbooks about a career I don’t even want while I’m still in high school. This is my life, and you don’t get to choose how I live it.”

Your mom speaks up after what feels like an hour of silence. Her eyes are full of sorrow, voice low, disapproving. “What happened to you? You’re so…outspoken.”

“It’s that damn Maybank kid,” your dad’s forceful voice cuts right through you. He slams his fist on the counter, startling your mom. You stand your ground, unflinching. “I always knew he’d corrupt you sooner or later.”

“Corrupt me?” A laugh escapes you. He can’t be serious. “He helped me, dad. He taught me to stand up for myself, which is what I’m doing right now. He taught me that there’s a life outside of our world in Figure Eight. JJ helped me realize that I don’t belong here,” your mother’s face drops. Guilt briefly flickers across your face. “I belong with him, wherever he goes. Whether it be California or Texas or Hawaii. I belong with him.”

“You are sixteen years old,” your father reminds, looking at you in disgust. “You have no clue what you’re talking about or what you are doing. Go on, get out of my sight.”

You shake your head, turning your back on your parents. It didn’t matter what they said. They wouldn’t be able to stop you from chasing your dreams, from living your life the way you wanted to. They could say you were too young, too naïve, until they were blue in the face. But you know what you want, and no one, especially not your parents, would stop you.

~

So take your hand in mine

It’s ours tonight

This is our rebel love song

Staring down at the note in your hand, you exhale a sigh before dropping it on the kitchen counter. You sign it with a kiss, letting your family know you love them, before venturing outside, quietly closing the door behind you.

The last night in your house was spent packing, constantly checking that your bedroom door was locked to keep the helicopter parents away. There wasn’t much you could fit into the duffel bag, but you squeezed as much as you could, the contents varying from clothing to toiletries to small mementos you didn’t want to leave behind.

The plan was to surprise JJ at the dock. Tugging your duffel higher onto your shoulder, you walk with a content smile.

When you reach the dock, your heart rises to your throat. JJ stands with his back to you, one foot on the dock, the other in the boat. He’s ready to take off, and your legs break out into a sprint, daring him to leave you behind. “JJ!”

The voice makes his ears perk up. He turns, wide-eyed, smile brighter than the gleaming Carolina sun. JJ’s heart swells as he watches the girl he loves run after him, one hand waving frantically in the air, the other tugging the bag higher on her arm.

“JJ, wait!”

But he’s not going anywhere. He’d never go anywhere without you.

You drop the bag onto the dock, launching yourself into JJ’s body. He wobbles slightly, arms coming around your middle, pulling you as far into his chest as you’ll go. You fit perfectly.

“You came,” JJ breathes into your hair, kissing your forehead. The soft pecks are quick, friendly.

It’s not enough for you, though.

You grab his cheeks, pressing your mouth to his, hard. Your heart reacts, beating wildly. The feeling in your body, the sensation you get from kissing JJ, it feels like sunshine. Warm. Blissful. Happy.

There’s no hesitation as JJ kisses you back. His hand creeps up your spine, pressing you impossibly closer to him, almost as if he’s testing to see if you’re real.

It’s all real. You, the kiss, the moment.

He pulls away, slightly breathless. His eyes flicker to the dandelion lying on his drawstring bag, and a smile tugs at his parted lips. He’d picked it for you on his way to the dock, just in case.

“It’s true,” JJ says, reaching down to tenderly pick the flower. Doe-eyed, you watch as he tucks the dandelion behind your ear, shielding the stem with a few strands of your hair. “I am so deeply in love with you.”

“And you were going to leave without ever letting me know.”

“A part of me hoped you wouldn’t let me leave without you,” JJ answers, helping you settle into the boat.

“You’re right,” you smile. “I couldn’t let you leave without knowing I’m in love with you, too.”

The kiss that follows is better than the first. It’s softer, more intimate, and it feels like a rainbow.  

It completes him.

It completes you.

After grabbing your bag from the dock, you help JJ untie the boat before joining him at the wheel. The boat rumbles to life, sailing slowly across the open bay. A new life is just in the distance.

“You ready?” JJ asks. There’s nothing in his eyes other than hope, nothing in his grin other than happiness.

Taking his hand, you smile. “I am now.”

[silveryfairy]

hey man if it's not too much trouble, could you give us a brief rundown of the Nocturnes? It's just, every morning I wake up and there's a new one, and I Care everyone in this establishment a lot though I don't really know them, thank you kindly have a nice day

let my preface this by saying: aayushi, i love you, and your enthusiasm and interest for the things i create never ceases to bring me joy. you are the kind of friend i think everyone should have and i say that completely genuinely outside of this bit.

i say that as an apology in advance for what i’m about to unleash upon you, because what you’re going to see is the product of my friend @himepapillon and i’s absolute BRAINROT and what comes of it when not only two people make an oc universe from scratch but what happens when we then have to explain that universe to other people

you are in no way required to retain this information as to be completely honest me and jeremie haven’t fully either and we’re the ones who MADE this shitshow. below is the shoddy family tree i lovingly crafted in ms paint

let us begin. 

for starters, i’ll specify some things:

1. not every oc on this chart is mine, as it’s a collaboration between me and jeremie - the koenig family and bishop family belong to faer but the rest is all me baby! for the sake of your soul i will only be going into my half of this Mess

2. the universe this takes place in is a pretty wacky and silly one, just, like, Slightly removed from reality. these characters are all completely batshit insane and do things that no human being probably should. it’s all portrayed critically, as the general concept of this whole thing is “the goings-on of a bunch of unhinged corrupt rich people”. we kind of flip flop on how seriously stuff is played but if i had to slap a genre on this it’d be, like, black comedy drama. i know a lot of these concepts sound kinda fucked to write but that’s just because i’m trying to describe them in a SOMEWHAT concise way without going into Super Introspective mode

the nocturnes are an incredibly influential and rich family in the uk that tends to produce very influential and rich people. they’re also all a little bit insane. the main characters of this Saga are the sons of desmond and xanthes, the family’s resident Power Couple and biggest figureheads. they suck ass but that will become apparent the second i talk about their children.

from oldest to youngest, the nocturne boys are:

ichor nocturne, 25 - the eldest, ichor was disowned from the household when he was 18 for unruly behavior, sent to live alone on a farm so he couldn’t tarnish his family’s image any further. since then, you’d think the isolation has driven him a bit mad - he’s a very prolific cotton farmer and has been doing astonishingly well for himself, running his farm on his own with only his parents’ inheritance as help. ...that, and, of course, the blood of the people he executes to keep his crops growing - or so he believes. he moonlights as an executioner in the small town over, exterminating the ‘pests’ of the city. despite his newfound violence, he still routinely checks in on his siblings, finding ways to mysteriously end up at their door to pay visits. the older brother instinct still hasn’t left

icarus nocturne, 23 - the second eldest (only by technicality, as he is a twin), icarus is the family’s golden child! but not in terms of business or anything, oh no - icarus is a famous heartthrob teen (sorta) musician! he’s been in the limelight since he was a little boy, being an actor as a small child and getting into music as he grew. his general Look(tm), accompanied by infectiously happy rave music, is a trademark cutesy mask over his face with oversized clothing - meant to express as much energy as possible as he bounces about the stage. in reality, he lives a life as forced and controlled as possible by virtue of... living the fucked up life of a child star. but his parents have someone to take the fall - so, what of his twin?

achilles nocturne, 23 - icarus’ younger twin, which wouldn’t mean much... in any family but this one. achilles has had it drilled into his head since the beginning that he was a mistake next to icarus, to the point where legally, he does not exist. following icarus beginning his career, achilles was unpersoned completely - living in the family’s basement with the height of his education being for a very specific purpose... needing to be icarus’ body double on tours and for paparazzi - after all, they can’t have icarus’ purity tainted by all those clamboring fans! it’s a godawful situation. on the bright side, though, achilles has found a hobby where he can be himself: twitch streaming! yes really. under the name of 1upanonymous, hidden under a mask just like his brother, achilles at least has a fanbase that can love him for who he is! ...uh, kind of.

tomasine “tommy” nocturne, 16 - the youngest of the bunch, and it says a lot about his siblings’ capabilities that he’s the technical heir to the nocturnes’ various businesses and fortune. tommy is just a feral 16 year old that doesn’t give two shits about any fame or fortune, he just wants to party and drink and have fun like any other kid his age! he’s rebellious, loud, and charmingly annoying (to his brothers anyway), and has no real care for the gravity of his family’s situations beyond finding it annoying that they want him to be all PRIM and PROPER and BUSINESSY EEWWWWW. he’s just a funny loud little child trying to live his best life. loves his brothers fiercely

already a mess of people. and really, all you need to know about or really keep in mind are those four: the upcoming characters are largely just side ones we came up with because we thought it’d be funny to flesh out this fucked up family more. so let’s get into the anatra branch of the family - headed by jael nocturne, xanthes’ brother and the siblings’ uncle

jael anatra-nocturne, who i am not giving an age for my own sanity trying to decipher this fucking timeline - a crude and playful uncle, jael is someone the nocturne boys either love (icarus, tommy) or hate (achilles, ichor). constantly joking, as he expresses affection with loving insults - kind of a money-driven asshole, but a lovable one - he’s a career politician and met his current husband, joaquin, on the job. or, well... no longer current, because jael’s funny life of debauchery, toxic masculinity, and making fun of his nephews, came to an abrupt end when he was assassinated on live television. yipes!

joaquin anatra-nocturne, who also does not get an age - jael’s former secretary and current widow, joaquin is the local wine uncle. im not sure if that’s a classification but it is now, because he is one. an unapologetic gold-digger, he (publicly) took jael’s death frighteningly well, and is now living his best life with a revolving door of new boyfriends. his relationship with jael was a genuine and very loving one, and joaquin IS devastated by his death, but both of them just found the bit of pretending to be this loveless gold digger/politician couple very funny, and being as suspicious as possible around his husband’s death is exactly what jael would have wanted joaquin to do

taddeo anatra-nocturne, 14 - the youngest child of these two, a shy little boy with big Child In A Horror Movie energies. makes potions in the backyard and probably decorates his clothes with animal bones n stuff when he’s older. despite this he’s pretty harmless, nice and fiercely loyal - tommy especially thinks he’s fun and likes to hang out with him at family gatherings - just so long as you look past the creepy dolls he likes to talk to and fires he likes to set. especially close with jael and wants to be a miniature version of him, buuut still being a shy tween taddeo hasn’t been able to act on that much.

dailon anatra-nocturne, 20 - the adopted second child of jael and joaquin, dailon is a moody and unstable delinquent that was snatched up by them just as he was about to age out of foster care. while he has a chill ‘cool-older-even-though-he’s-younger-cousin’ demeanor, the tension when he’s around his parents - jael specifically - can be cut with a knife. dailon hates his dad: ‘someone who expresses affection with insults and jokes and likes seeing people pissed at him’ and ‘someone who’s volatile, short-tempered, and sullen after living in a foster home most his life’ are just as bad of a combination as you’d expect. dailon gets himself into a lot of trouble, and is an overall very self-centered prick, but we’ll get more on that in a bit.

HELL FAMILY...2!!! that’s the last of the families to cover, buuuut there are still some other names on that list - mostly connected to dailon. this is REAL “just going on in the background” shit that you also do not need to know whatsoever (except for mitzi she’s pretty important she’s just down here for organization purposes) - i just like to play god and make characters get into drama.

[tw: cheating, unhealthy relationships, stalking]

mitzi “moon” altberg, 23 - achilles must feel very far away by now, but we’re back to him for a second! mitzi is his ex-girlfriend he met online, a fan-to-employee-to-lover and one of the maybe two people outside of the family achilles has shown his real face to. however, achilles growing up deeply unstable - between his parents’ abuse, having spotlights on him and adoring fans both as icarus’ body double and as a streamer, and in general not really growing up to be any kind of well developed human being - made this relationship a complete disaster. he grew obsessive and controlling - and when she tried to ignore him, he broke his one rule (to never go outside without permission) to find the hotel she was staying at in real life and show up to confront her. the incident was completely covered up, both by the nocturnes and with their connections, and so mitzi was forced to stay silent. this entire thing is based on this song! as time heals wounds, though, mitzi will end up doing pretty well for herself and putting achilles behind her - even getting a new boyfriend, jared!

reynard fiala, 20 - dailon’s (ex-)boyfriend, who he’s enraveled in his own weird soap opera subplot with. reynard is a relatively chill person, with an interest in art and taxidermy - just as morbid as dailon’s brother, but in a more. Normal way. genuinely a sweetheart who does not deserve what happens to them: getting cheated on with dailon’s best friend. yipes^2! while it's earth shattering in the moment, all reynard will really want to do come some time to process is to move on and for him and dailon both to heal in peace... far away from eachother (which is easier said than done since taddeo thinks reynard is super cool and loves having him over, the awkwardness between them and his brother be damned)

jared summers, 21 - the most normal person here. a longterm best friend of dailon’s, and yes, the very same one i just mentioned. he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer - what we in the industry would call a himbo if his dumbassery didn’t cause very real damage - who had been pining for dailon for years and him dating was no deterrent, and dailon, thinking the world revolves around him as he tends to do, accepted jared’s confession so they just kinda started dating on the side. jared has the moral backbone of a pool noodle, and even after it causes dailon’s relationship with reynard to fall apart, will need a wholeass intervention to be staged to make them both realize just how shitty they’re being. after that, though, jared will end that mess and be on his way to becoming a better person himself - with the help of a sweet girl he’s met online.

jared and mitzi dating in the future is the most contrived thing on the planet but just hear me out that it’ll be HILARIOUS for achilles to check in on his ex-girlfriend and find she’s dating his cousin’s best friend, who said cousin was apparently dating on the side. very small world, it is. 

anyway, thank you if you’ve somehow stuck around to read this entire thing - this isn’t even getting into jeremie’s half of this whole ordeal, which includes some of these fellas’ friends and partners, as well as more crazy rich people nonsense. it’s been very fun to think about and i do love it all dearly, even if putting it all together it’s SUCH a mess.

we don’t intend to make anything Legit out of this, it’s honestly just a fun way to pass the time. it’s the adult equivalent of playing dollhouse. in our minds this is like a 20 season soap opera but actually explaining it to other people it’s just like this

but thank you again for letting me babble i hope it was somewhat entertaining! and again, godspeed if you managed to read this much XD

[winchester19-67]

A Fresh Start - Part 6

Pairing: Single Parent!Dean x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of child abuse, Mentions of infertility, Lille bit of fluff

Word Count 3,464

A/N: This is Part 6 of A Fresh Start.

Series Masterlist

You're just about to doze off on the couch when someone knocks on your front door. You look up at the clock on the wall and your heart drops when you see that it's almost eleven at night. That's never good.

You look out your window and you roll your eyes when you see who's standing on your front porch. You almost decide to just lay there and wait for him to go away, but you find yourself walking towards the front door.

"What do you want?" you ask him as you fling open the front door.

Dean looks up at you with wide, green eyes as he leans up against the doorway. “We need to talk.”

"We did." You go to shut the door on him, but Dean catches it and holds it open as he gives you another pleading look. "Dean, I don't want to..."

"They're not mine."

You give Dean a shocked look and you know that you look completely taken aback. "What?"

“Avery and Cooper,” Dean says. "They're not biologically mine. There was no other woman. Never has been. Never will be. I couldn't love another woman as much as I love you."

You just stare at Dean for a while before stepping out of his way. Dean gives you a questioning look as he hesitantly walks into your house. You shut the door behind Dean as he looks around.

"Nice place," he tells you. "Not the safest neighborhood, but nice little house."

"Best place that I've lived in for a while," you tell him.

Dean swallows hard and turns around to look at you. "I found the kids on the side of the road one night," Dean tells you. "Cooper was just a couple days old and I... I couldn't let them go to foster care so I took them in. He didn't have a name, so I named him Cooper because that’s what we were going to name our little boy if we had a son. I knew that had messed up with you and I just... I don't know. It just felt right to name him that.

“Avery was a shy little thing and it took me a while to get her to warm up to me," Dean says. "But I love them. They're everything to me. And I don't mean to make a difference between them sometimes, but it's just... I adopted Cooper when he was about five months old. That's when it finally went through anyways."

"You haven't adopted Avery yet?" you ask him.

"No," Dean shakes his head. "Not for lack of trying. Cooper's adoption went through without a problem, but there's some kind of legal issue with Avery’s and I can't adopt her yet. Sam's been trying to help me get it all straightened out figure out how to make her legally mine, but... I live with this constant black cloud of knowing that this animal who just dropped them off on the side of the road can take her away from me.

"I can't live with that. And I know that I kinda deserve it after what I did to you. But Avery definitely doesn't. My baby girl doesn't deserve to live with someone who doesn't love her. And there for a while it was like I was trying not to be so close to her."

"That's why it seemed like you were distancing yourself from her."

Dean slowly nods his head. "And I know that it was the wrong thing to do and that seems like all I do. The wrong thing. But I wasn't exactly meaning to do that to her. It was like everytime I was around Avery all I could think about was the possible heartbreak that we might go through. I thought that if I made her hate me then it wouldn't be so hard on her."

"That's an idiotic way of thinking which also seems to be something that you're good at," you tell him.

"I realize that," Dean says softly as he hangs his head a bit. "I realized that by doing that I made her think that this is all her fault. That I was mad at her. And now she's so scared that she's going to do something to disappoint me. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for putting her through that. I hate myself for doing what I did to you and ruining everything. I... You know, if I hadn't found those two then I probably wouldn't be here. I had no one except for Sam. And it was my fault. I was in a horrible place and I can't even imagine what you felt like."

"What do you mean that you had no one?" you ask Dean.

He takes a deep breath. "You're not the only one whose parent's disowned them."

"What?" you ask Dean as your eyes widen a bit.

"My parents quit talking to me for a while," Dean tells you. "Mom sort of started talking to me when I found the kids, but Dad... He doesn't even want to look at me. He told me that if things were reversed and you were his daughter instead, he'd have to kill me for treating you like that."

"Funny," you tell him. "When your Dad would stand up for me before my own would."

Dean takes a deep breath. "I know I messed up. With you and Avery and I also know that I don't deserve to be forgiven. And the way that I treated you with what happened with Cooper it's all just... It's not me. I just feel like I have the eyes of social services on me constantly and like every wrong move I make is gonna get the kids taken away from me. That's why I'm so particular with them and I realize that I was too harsh with you. And possibly all of the other babysitters that I've hired in the past."

"You should've just been open and honest with me," you tell Dean. "With everything."

Dean looks at you and you can see the tears shining in his green eyes. "I've messed up," Dean croaks out as he shakes his head a bit. "I shouldn't have called off the wedding and I shouldn't have started pushing Avery away and I shouldn't have yelled at you for Cooper getting out of his crib and..."

"Dean, slow down," you tell Dean softly as you walk over and gently grab onto the tops of his arms. "What made you decide to run over here and tell me all of this?"

Dean looks you in the eyes and takes a deep breath. "Cooper got out of his crib on me and snuck into another room," Dean says quietly. "I then realized how it happened to you and I felt horrible for yelling at you and for firing you. So if... If you can find it in yourself to forgive me at all, then I wouldn't mind seeing you on my doorstep at eight in the morning."

You think about it for a while before you give Dean a soft smile. "Okay," you reply quietly. "But you have got to start being more open with me."

"Deal," Dean tells you.

"Hey, Dean?"

"Hm?"

"The day that you were so upset but you wouldn't talk about it..."

"Sam had just called me and told me that Avery’s birth mother is refusing to sign over her custody," Dean tells you. "I just..." You can see the tears gathering in Dean's eyes, so you do the only thing that you know to do. You step closer to Dean and wrap your arms tightly around him. Dean hesitates before wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin onto your shoulder.

"That's why you kind of went off on that rant about what the kids do and don't like," you say to Dean.

"Yeah," Dean breathes out. "I just feel like I sometimes have to prove how much I care about them and..."

"You do, Dean," you tell him softly. "You don't have to go over the top to show people that you love those two."

Dean pulls away to look at you and he gives you a look as if he's debating on whether or not to say what's on his mind. "(Y/N), I know that you may want to slap me for saying this, but you have no clue how many times that I've wished that I had married you and that I wasn't doing all of this alone. And I know that that's all my fault, but..."

"Hey," you say softly. Dean looks at you, and you give him a small smile. "You ever need a friend, I'm here for you." Dean gives you a sad smile as he opens his mouth like he's going to say something. He closes his mouth as if he's decided against what he was going to say. Instead, Dean brings a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb softly brushing over your skin as he leans in a bit. You know that you should lean away, but you find yourself leaning in the exact opposite direction. Towards him instead of away. Dean's lips barely brush up against yours before he presses them firmly to yours.

When Dean finally pulls away, he looks at you with hooded eyes and gives you a soft smile. "I still care about you," Dean tells you softly. "You were my everything, and you still are."

"Dean," you say softly. "You can apologize all that you want to and tell me that you're very sorry..."

"I am," Dean tells you without giving you the chance to keep talking.

"And you can say that all that you want to, Dean," you tell him, "and I forgive you, but that doesn't change the fact that you hurt me and that there's a lot of lost trust between us."

"I know," Dean tells you. "I know that I'm an idiot for the way that I've treated you and that... I shouldn't have done that. You deserve the world, and I felt like I couldn't give that to you."

"Dean," you say softly as you bring both of your hands up to either side of his face. You look Dean in the eyes and you give him a sincere look. "You were my world."

Dean swallows hard as he finally lets his tears fall. "I've ruined my life," Dean sobs, "and I'm fighting so hard to make things right but it all just keeps falling apart and..."

You cut Dean off by pulling him in and shushing him. "It's okay, Dean," you whisper.

"I should've never let you go and I want you to know that it had nothing to do with you," Dean tells you softly. "I was never mad at you except for the other day and even then it wasn't right. I'm not a perfect Dad to those kids and I shouldn't expect you to follow all of these insane rules when I even fail to follow them myself. (Y/N), my kids love you, and that means a lot when we're talking about Avery because she took a while to warm up to me. I shouldn't have let you go then either. You were kind enough to help me out despite everything that I had put you through."

"Quit beating yourself up about it all," you tell Dean. "I'm not mad at you either even though I was at first. I forgave you before you even asked me to, Dean, because I was so sick and tired of holding a grudge against you.

"It's not fair," Dean says. "I ran away from you like a coward because I thought that I couldn't give you a family. And, now, I have a family and you don't and I have no clue how any of that's fair."

"Dean, please stop," you tell him softly. "It's okay. Just, please, calm down, Dean. Quit talking about how unfair it all is or how sorry you are because I know. I know, Dean." Dean tightens his arms around you and you both cling onto each other.

"Do you think..." Dean stops to clear his throat a bit. "Do you think that there's any way for me to earn your trust once more?"

"I don't know, Dean," you tell him softly. "It depends on how hard that you're willing to try."

Dean pulls away to look at you and he nods his head at you. "I'll show you," Dean tells you softly. Dean phone rings, and he gives you an apologetic smile before pulling it out of his pocket. "Hello?" Dean answers as he uses his hand to wipe the tears out of his eyes. "Yeah, baby girl, I'm okay. I had to talk to someone for a while, sweetheart, don't worry about me. Okay. I will. I love you too, bug," Dean says before hanging the phone up and shoving it into his pocket. "That was Avery calling to check up on me and make sure that everything's okay," Dean tells you as he turns to face you. "She's missing me already."

You laugh softly. "You're leaving?"

Dean nods his head at you and frowns a little bit. "I feel like things still aren't fixed between us."

"Hey," you say softly as you reach out to gently lay a hand over onto Dean's shoulder. "We'll get there."

Dean smiles softly as he nods his head at you. "Monday at eight?"

"Yeah," you smile as you nod your head at Dean.

"Thank you, (Y/N)," Dean tells you before he walks on out the door. "For everything." Dean closes the door behind him and tries his best not to break down once he steps out onto your porch. Dean takes a deep breath and swallows hard before walking on over to his car. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“(Y/N)!” Avery yells as she goes running over to you when you walk through the front door.

"Hey, sweetie," you smile as she jumps up into your arms.

“I missed you,” Avery tells you as she wraps her little arms tightly around your neck.

"Oh, I missed you too," you smile at her.

"Okay," Dean begins. "Cooper is asleep in his room and will probably wake up hungry. I don't have a lot of work to do today so I figured that I'd take the time to get the garage cleaned up."

"Okay," you nod at him.

"Holler at me if you need anything," Dean tells you.

"Really?" you ask Dean as you raise an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah," Dean nods at you.

"Well, what happened to..."

"Like I said, (Y/N)," Dean smiles at you. "I'm trying to straighten things up a bit. Especially my attitude."

"Well, you're off to a very good start."

Dean gives you a soft smile before he leans over to press a kiss to the top of Avery’s head. "Be good, baby girl."

“I will, Daddy,” Avery says before she turns her head a bit to watch Dean walk across the kitchen and out to the garage. Avery looks up at you and smiles widely. “Daddy’s happy now.”

“Yeah, I think so,” you smile at her.

“Daddy was mean to you,” Avery tells you.

"That's all okay now," you tell Avery truthfully as you begin carrying her off to the living room. "You want to watch a movie for a while?"

“Yeah!” Avery says excitedly as she claps her hands.

"Okay," you laugh as you sit down onto the couch with Avery and hand her the remote. "Do you want to pick what we watch?” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's quiet in here," Dean says as he walks into the kitchen for lunch.

"They're both out of it," you tell Dean as you nod your head over to the couch. He looks over and chuckles when he sees the two of them curled up on the couch together.

"You do so good with them and I can't thank you enough for helping me out, (Y/N)," Dean tells you.

"Wow," you say as you give Dean a shocked look. "You really are trying to change your attitude."

“Told you,” Dean smiles. “Hey, (Y/N)?”

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you a serious question that you'll probably want to slap me for?"

"Okay," you say slowly.

Dean takes a deep breath. "Do you think that there's any chance at all that maybe me and you could.."

"Dean," you say softly.

Dean shakes his head at you and lets out a small laugh. "Nevermind," he tells you. "It was a stupid question."

"No, Dean, it wasn't," you tell him truthfully. "I just... Everything that you told me last night and why you left. I'm still processing it all."

Dean nods his head. "I completely understand if you hate me and..."

"I don't hate you," you tell Dean truthfully. "I told you that the other night at my house. I still love you, Dean. That doesn't mean that I can just forget about what happened. I'll still be your friend."

"I'd like that," Dean replies as he nods his head at you. "I just thought that... I guess that I've just really been missing you here lately."

"I'm right here, Dean."

"You know what I mean," Dean tells you. "I miss being with you in that way and I can't believe that I let it all go and that I gave up the one good thing in my life. I miss the thought of being able to see you everyday and having you waiting on me at home. I don't know what I was thinking leaving you like that, (Y/N). I don't know what I was thinking when I moved into the house that we were looking to buy. It's been nothing but one depressing day after another imagining what it would be like with you living here. And I don't know what I was thinking taking in those kids. I mean, why on earth I thought that I could raise those two on my own..."

"Dean," you say softly as you reach out to gently grab onto both of his arms. "Hey, where'd this little meltdown of yours begin at?" 

“Avery’s mother,” Dean says as he hangs his head and shakes it a bit. "She's wanting to take my little girl away from me."

"Dean," you breathe out. "Why didn't you tell me this the other night?"

"I didn't even know until this morning when Sam called me," Dean tells you. "I'm just tired of this heavy feeling in my chest like someone's trying to crush my heart. I just need some happiness in my life."

You pull away from Dean and grab onto his arm, pulling him over to where Avery and Cooper are still napping. "There," you tell Dean. "There's your happiness. Right there. Those two kids are supposed to be your happiness, Dean.”

"I know," he sniffs. "But how can I let myself be happy with them when I might lose them too?"

You sigh and shake your head a bit at Dean. "You can't keep thinking like that if you want to be happy."

Dean swallows hard and looks over at you. "I love those two."

"I know you do," you tell him. "Dean?"

"Hm?" Dean says as he looks over at you.

"The way that you look at those two, it's the exact same way that you used to look at me," you tell him. "That much love. That much devotion to a single human being. You don't just walk from that very easily. You not being able to have kids isn't the reason that you broke off the engagement."

Dean takes a deep breath as he shakes his head at you. "There's more," he admits. "But I can't get into all of that right now."

"Dean..."

"I can't bring it all up and take a chance on my past causing me to loose my kids," Dean tells you. "I buried it because I don't want the information landing in the wrong people's hands."

"I won't tell anyone," you tell Dean.

"I know that," Dean tells you truthfully. "I still need to keep it to myself for right now. Sam kind of knows and my parents don't even know."

Your eyes widen just a bit as you look over at Dean. "You're in trouble, aren't you?"

"Not anymore," Dean tells you. "(Y/N), please don't worry about me anymore for today, alright?”

"Alright," you reply softly. "Dean, promise me that you'll take some time off to be with them."

Dean nods his head. "Way ahead of you, sweetheart."

You smile softly at him. "Call me if you need me for anything at all, Dean."

Dean smiles at you and nods his head a bit. "Same goes for you, (Y/N)."

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