#only because i'm gonna fucking vent in the tags

[general-kalani]

Some person: Hey can you babysit my kids from 7-(whenever)

Me: ok.

Me: Proceeds to get ready.

Them: Actually I found someone else I don't need you anymore.

Me:

Me:

Me: OH GLORY GLORY WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE-

[highlordofkrypton]

I have officially snapped, thank you very much ACOTAR fandom.

[blastlight]

i got an automated text from my old doctors' office telling me it's time for a flu shot

meanwhile i'm ghosting my current doctor because i have no healthcare 🤪 maybe i should just stop going outside

[thethingything]

so apparently the side effects from the metronidazole got to us so much that now I get to have recurring nightmares about it.

some of the side effects we had happened to match up with the symptoms of the start of a much worse reaction you can have to those meds, and luckily it didn't end up being that, but we spent a few days absolutely terrified by the possibility of it, and clearly that was enough because now we're having nightmares about getting that much worse reaction.

I guess we'll see if that calms down any time soon, but given everything that's happened over the last few months I get the feeling that once we've gotten stuff sorted and things calm down a bit and our brain starts processing everything we're gonna realise just how much all this has fucked us up and trying to process and deal with it all is gonna be exhausting

[sharkylikesknives27]

Sorry to anyone looking at my posts and just seeing mommy issues, I'm not just mentally ill I swear, I'm also just a funny little guy

...

....

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ignore the tags pls it's just venting-

[dawnlitbouquet]

I had the displeasure of seeing the post in real time and I was honestly planning to just curl up in miserable silence, but I figured I may as well share some spectacularly specific quote tweets I had taken screenshots of in anticipation of the original tweet getting taken down.

[ebbarights]

.

[cyberrose2001]

If I'm not too late, can I get some TFP Wheeljack x AFAB!Reader where Wheeljack is a brat that gets off on his little human bossing him around and making him beg.

I wanna see this man whimper.

TFP Wheeljack x Human Reader

eyyyyy thank you for requesting, Tag. I apologise for the long wait, but I hope you like it!!

Warnings: AFAB, GN Reader, Cybertronian/Human, Brat Taming, Dom/Sub Elements, Collaring

Word Count: 1,450

18+ ONLY MINORS DNI

"You gonna behave yourself, or do I have to tie you up again?"

"Can't promise I won't."

Wheeljack, the self-proclaimed free-thinker, prides himself on being an asshole whenever he can. You don't tolerate assholes very well, and you make that very clear to everyone. Some call it being bossy. You call it discipline. But the mech on his knees in front of you always seems to get on your nerves more than anyone else, determined to push your buttons and poke at your patience.

But in light of it all, it makes for a very good excuse to poke at his own buttons.

In the privacy of Wheeljacks' quarters, with a bare foot pressed against his modesty plates, you grasp Wheeljacks' chin and tilt his helm to look at you. The stern look in your eyes sends a shiver down his spinal strut, a fair warning that you're not in the mood for his teasing tonight.

"I beg your pardon?" You press your foot a little harder, causing a hiss from his intake.

"Ah- I promise!" Wheeljack grits his dentae, and you feel a smile creep onto your face, "I promise I will."

"Good," You grasp onto the lead of his collar and tug his helm back before thumbing at his scarred bottom derma and slipping it past, "You know I don't like it when you backchat me."

Wheeljacks' vents hitch as you slide your thumb against his glossa, groaning at the taste of your skin. Salty yet sweet, it matches your personality. He envelops around it and sucks softly, his optics flicking up to your look of approval.

"There you go," You say sweetly, pressing your thumb further against his glossa. You feel his oral lubricants start to pool in his cheeks, along with the buzz of another groan, "Isn't it so much easier to behave with something stuffed in your mouth?"

The mech closes his optics in gentle surrender, softly whining when you start to rub your foot along the seams of his bulging panels. As much as Wheeljack wanted to bite back at you with something clever and bratty, his need for you bites at him harder. He's started to slowly rut into the sole of your foot, desperate for your attention to his aching spike.

"I didn't say you could do that, now could I?" You re-tract your foot from his groin, watching his thighs tremble with a wicked satisfaction. He furrows his brows when he's only left to grind at the air, the smallest of whimpers passing through his dermas.

"Can I pressurise my spike? Please?" Wheeljack leans forward to press his face into the fat of your thigh, nuzzling and pressing languished kisses in bribery. It's an adorable sight, but you're not convinced yet.

"Where did all that cheekiness go? I touch you once, and you're already begging for it." You bite back a soft moan in an attempt to uphold your dominance when he sucks at your inner thigh. You stop yourself in your tracks and grasp the kibble of his helm, ripping him away from your skin, "Get on your back."

Wheeljack whines before complying, flopping back against the floor. He bites his derma as he feels his spike throbbing against his panels, aching to be released and graced by your unforgiving flesh.

"Do you know how much you annoy the living fuck out of me?" You crawl against him to straddle his lap, one of your hands dipping below to paw at his panels, "Because I don't think I've made myself clear enough."

Before Wheeljack can beg again, your fingers open his panels. His spike instantly springs up with a sigh of relief, rock hard and standing at attention. With a smug grin, you press your thin-clothed underwear against it, grinding your hips at an achingly slow pace.

"I think I- hah- get the idea. Can't blame me for messin' around with you." Wheeljacks' servos twitch against the floor in anticipation. The feeling of your heat and arousal only makes him more desperate to plunge himself into you.

"You do things to me, Wheeljack. You drive me crazy..."

"Yeah? T-Tell me more, sweetspark."

"I fucking love it."

You pull your underwear to the side, not even bothering to take them off. Positioning yourself on top of his spike, you push the tip past your folds. You bore holes into Wheeljacks' optics as you do, watching his face twist and dentae grit when you pause in your tracks.

"Frag- why'd ya stop?" The wrecker hisses, arching his back helplessly. You reach forward and grip the lead of his collar, securing it around your knuckles.

"Tell me how much you love it when I have my way with you, how much you purposely try my patience just to get me to snap and fuck the living shit out of you." You tug on the lead tighter, "How much you fucking love to beg for it."

Wheeljacks' face flushes a bright blue as the rest of his bravado flushes down the drain. This is what he was waiting for. The fiery and wicked charm you possess deep inside that makes his knees weak, only reserved for him. He bites his bottom dentae, a small whimpery sob slipping past.

"I fraggin' live for it." His voice strained, "I fraggin' love it when I get you to snap. Frag- sweetspark just please ride me-"

His sentence is cut short, his breath taken away as you sink down on his thickness, finally plunging into your unforgiving heat. You shiver as you're split open, clenching down on his harder-than-rock spike. Readjusting your grip on his lead, you look him dead in the optic and start to bounce your ass on him.

"Ohhhh, fragfragfrag- yes-" Wheeljack slumps his helm back as best as he could with the collar, a whiney moan escaping him as your silky walls massage him just right. He fights the urge to bounce up into you, riveted by how you take complete control of him.

"F-Fuck Wheeljack- nghh-" You bounce along his spike faster, moaning with him as he stretches you beyond capacity. The hand that isn't gripping the leash grabs onto one of Wheeljacks' servos that isn't making claw marks in the concrete and moves it to a bobbing tit, a small reward for his good behaviour.

"F-Feels' so good.... frag, I love how squishy ya are." Wheeljack gives your breast a good squeeze, optics bouncing back and forth between your chest and your pussy ravaging his spike.

A familiar pressure starts to build in the depths of your stomach, and it urges you to fuck him with more haste, "Nhh- I'm close..." Another tug of his lead sends his spike throbbing, "You've been so nice, Jackie. I'll let you cum; you wanna- you wanna cum inside? Yeah?"

The Wrecker languidly nods, another whimpery moan leaving him. With all this dirty talk, just for him, he's finding it harder and harder to resist an overload, "Y-Yeah, please, I've been good, s-so good..."

You loudly moan as your body shudders. Your thighs give up and hinder your bounces, resorting to wild rolls of your hips. You clamp down and come to an orgasm while you cry out the mech's name, strangling his throbbing spike. Wheeljack, too, wantonly cries out for you as he arches his back struts and overloads with such force that you nearly double over. But he secures his servos to your thighs and grips on, allowing himself to rut into you until his tanks are dry.

You collapse forward and pant heavily against his chassis, coming down from the high. You softly groan, feeling Wheeljacks' sticky transfluids pool beneath you. A soft chuckle vibrates you, and you feel the shaky metallic servo of Wheeljack rest against your bare back.

"Thanks, kid." He heaves, letting his sore helm rest against the floor, "Not to quote anyone verbatim, but... I really needed that."

Despite coming off as an absolute jackass with a side serving of brattiness, there is a soft, tender side to the Wrecker rarely seen by anyone else but you. It's a stark contrast to moments ago, but you take pride in knowing that the rowdy mech can be wrangled.

You've just gotta dom the fuck out of him.

You lift your head just enough to observe the playful gleam in his optics. Leaning forward, you kiss his scarred derma tenderly, "Same time next week?"

"You know it, sweetspark. I'll be sure to pull a prank or two on ya before then, just to get ya really worked up over me."

You'll be sure to get the ropes ready next time.

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

[peachyfnaf]

I'm sorry but "MY BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER<3" really made my day and I needed you to know

🤣🤣🤣

I can't believe Nexus is bullying peepaw war criminal.

Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?

(Please talk about baby cringe Lord Nexus, I want to hear about your blorbo 🙏)

That's because Nexus IS my beautiful princess with a disorder, I'll have you know <3 they're diseased but it's okay I can give them their tetanus and flu shots and it'll all be better I GOT THIS

But. ahem, okay, blorbo yapping time. I'm not even gonna say "I'll try to keep this short" because I know it wont end up that way HAHAHAHAHA

"Do you think Nexus is going to be stopped by big bro Sun or do you think the lil guy is going beyond the point of no return?"

I... have absolutely no idea!!!1! (and also it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize peepaw war criminal was Ruin KJDFHSDF)

The most frustrating thing about canon Nexus is how his morals, motivations, and goals seem to see-saw back and forth all the time. at first, he became how he is now due to Solar's death. he spiraled in his grief, identity-issues, and abandonment. but... now his motivation is to become an all powerful god??? while it's most likely that NSP is at play and affecting his thought process, it's... well, it's really hard to take him seriously as a villain because of it, lol. for an audience to enjoy, and even sympathize in some cases, with a villain, their goals and motivations have to be concrete. they have to be relatable, or at least understandable, but Nexus' whole thing is... not, Imho. and I know I'm not the only person who feels this way!!!

I see a lot of people calling Nexus "cringe", and the thing is, when it comes to canon Nexus, they're not really... wrong??? The worst thing Nexus has done so far is make Old Moon see his past victims, which is fucked up of him to do, but.. so far, that's kind of it??? other than that, his "villainy" consists of saying empty threats and cheesy evil one-liners. hell, he was supposed to kidnap Sun yesterday but instead spent the whole episode yapping and venting to him, chasing Sun around in the worlds darkest game of tag before getting some lead right in the face dkfjhsdfsd

Also, notice how he's only targeted Old Moon when it comes to actual physical violence? not Lunar, Earth, Solar, or Sun, but Old Moon? yeah, I did too. we already know that Nexus does everything because he's lashing out, but as of rn the only target he's gotten his hands on physically being O.M...? well. I think it says a lot. cause' yeah, he sure as shit scared the life out of the other Celestials, but he's never put his hands on them!! the only other one of them he harmed physically was Earth- and not only was he not aiming for her, she was just in the way- he felt immediate regret for his actions once in space, and has yet to even see Earth ever since that day.

So, I really have no idea if he's going to be "redeemed" or not. one second he's showing signs he might be, and the next he's falling further down the "pretty badly written villain" rabbit-hole. if he does get something akin to a redemption arc, he'll prolly mostly be accepted in the eyes of the viewers, considering a lot of peeps sympathize or at least understand where he's coming from, but I seriously doubt the other Celestials would take him back. the only one's who might see him as family/a close friend again are Sun and Solar, but even then, nothing would ever be the same.

I hope he gets redeemed, or at least freed from the hold Dark Sun has on him and he's able to live his own life, I really do. at his core, Nexus is a good person. a good person who was crushed under the weight of the shadow of the man he was born under. and we know this because he used to be New Moon. sweet, dorky New Moon.

New Moon, who made inventions like sentient knives and whoopee cushions. New Moon, who had matching My Little Pony stickers with his best friend. New Moon, who bought a whole ass island-luxury-house for Sun because he wanted to make him feel better and give him the proper space to heal. and New Moon- the poor freshly-baked A.I who gave his all to make sure he could do everything that Old Moon could, but it just wasn't enough. he tried and tried and tried, but it wasn't enough.

So yeah, idk if he's getting one in canon, but to me, he more than deserves a good ending, for the life he was given. let him be at peace.

[sugar-omi]

we're gonna have to come back to this bc well this is stupid short but mostly bc I'm having fluff, horny and angsty ideas...

DAY THIRTEEN — CAR SEX

*kinktober masterlist | *ao3

tags : drabble, NSFW, gn + bottom reader, teen!reader/cliff

synopsis : you were suppose to be cuddling, trying to relax before you and cliff had to return home. it turns into a lot more than venting and cuddling.

imagine being in your teens with cliff, you both snuck out because cliff was trying to get away from his parents and he needed your comfort.

he really did just want to cuddle and vent, distract himself from his home life...

but you're alone in his car, cuddling up in the backseat and you're on top if him...

how can he not pull you into a heated kiss, cupping your jaw, and he tries to guide you, but you're so close and your body heat is driving him crazy.

he bumps his head trying to get his pants down, and your worry can't reach him when your naked ass is in his face while you're trying to get the condom and lube out the glove box.

you're both fumbling, trying to find a position that works and cliff is behind you, holding your hips still as he rough stretches you open.

he tears the packet open with his teeth, trying to speak with the foil still in his mouth when you whine, missing his fingers even though something better is coming.

"hol' on, imma take care of you.." cliff purrs, throwing the wrapper on the floor. he'll deal with it later.

he lines himself up, sinking into you.

you're fucking like desperate animals. he's clinging onto you, nuzzling into your neck and placing wet kisses along your neck and shoulder, panting and moaning near your ear.

you drag your hand down the window, pushing back on his cock.

the car rocks with the force of your movements, the windows steam up and you can see your hand print, smudged from your hand dragging down the window and scratched from your fruitless search for purchase.

"cliff! i'm-i'm gonna..!" you pant, moaning wantonly. you reach down between your legs, stroking your sex and trying to keep your body up with one shaky arm, your nails digging into the cheap leather seat.

cliff groans, flexing his sweaty fingers and pistoning into you faster, the sound of your moans mixing with the lewd squelching and skin-against-skin eggs him on, pushing both of you over the edge.

cliff leans over you, his loose hair tickling your back.

you make a mess on the already fucked up seats, your cum / slick dripping on the seat, and you shake and tighten around cliff as you work through your orgasm.

your panting breath is all that's left in the air, and eventually cliff pulls out, your sensitive walls shaking around him, and he wraps everything up along with the takeout bag from earlier.

cliff steps out the car, hiding behind the door as he fixes his jeans.

you fumble about yourself, your hoodie inside out when you put it on.

eventually, you both get situated and look presentable. as presentable a couple of teenagers can brew after fucking in the back of a car.

cliff collapses into the front seat, and you turn to look at each other. you smile and laugh. the gravity of what you got away with sinking in.

cliff leans forward and steals a kiss, then another. "you're good at making me feel better."

you slap his arm, only making his lopsided smile widen.

[meshla-cyarika]

Worth the pain

Pairing: Nathan Prescott x gn!reader

Word count: 1,056

Tags/warnings: mentions problematic family members (such as an alcoholic father), reader doubts themselves, smoking, friends to lovers.

Summary: your life and Nathan's are both fucked up in different ways, but somehow your mangled and spiralling lives have intertwined. You're closer than you've ever imagined anyone could be, but you can't face the feelings that linger around you both, because you can't face loving someone again just for them to leave you to pick up the pieces afterwards.

A/N: this was inspired by the song "bite the hand".

--------------------------------------------------

Fuck Black-shitting-well academy. The only things it's brought you is more things to tell your imaginary therapist. Like fuck you were going to see a real one. You did that along time ago and the only thing it achieved was people pitying you. You don't need strangers fucking pity for your fucked up life, you already know it's messed up beyond repair, you don't need a fucking therapist to tell you that. Everyone you've spoke about your past to has either given you a disgusted look, or fake pity.

You just want to scream out everything in your mind to someone who won't give you any expression, almost like a blank wall that you can just yell and scream and cry at. That's what Nathan Prescott has become for you and sometimes, you've been that for him as well. You can just talk and talk and talk at him and he'll just sit there, seemingly not paying attention but mentally noting every word you've said. He'll only speak when you request him to, but most of the time he doesn't say anything at all. And you return the favour by letting him vent to you and listen to all his words.

Now, you're both silently laying on Nathan's bed in his dorm, your legs up agaisnt the cushions as you lay the wrong way on the bed. You just stare at the white ceiling, passing a cigarette between each other. You forgot to buy a pack and it's Nathan's last one, so you compromised. You've remained in silence, since you entered his room ages ago, waiting for either one of you to say something.

Nathan hands you the cigarette, after he took a long drag, before breaking the some what comforting silence, "Do you ever think about..." His pause causes you to turn your head to look at him, but he's still staring up at the ceiling. "Getting the fuck outta here? Just fucking off and forgetting about all this shit?"

"Every second of every day." You reply to him, as you pass him the cigarette back.

"But there's always that nagging in the back of your head to just put up with everyone's shit." Nathan speaks for them both and you turn your head to face the ceiling again. Uncontrollable dread sits in your soul, as you try to convince yourself that your past isn't repeating itself yet again. "And it always seems to out weigh the idea of finally being free." He adds to his previous sentence. "I'm gonna get the fuck outta here one day, you know?"

Your anxious mind can't help but pick up on the fact that he said "I'm" and not "we". Has he already decided that you are only a fragment of his life? You should've known better. You told yourself when you went to Blackwell not to get attached to anyone. They'd only leave like every fucker else, you had told yourself. First, it was your mother leaving you for some drugdealing asshole, then it was your childhood friend picking some over girl for you, then your older siblings moved out far away (they still don't try to contact you), which only added to your father's alcoholism. There's always someone else that's the first choice. You gave up trying to get everybody to like you a long time ago.

During your mind's spiralling anxious thoughts, you don't even notice the tear that runs down the side of your face, until a soft hand wipes it away. The physical contact brings you back to reality and you turn your head to face Nathan, who's already looking at you. The cigarette sits in an ashtray that's ontop of his bed. Your eyes stare into his ocean blue ones and you only just realise how close you are, your faces are only a breath away from one another.

"Tell me what's going on up there." He places his hand on the side of your face and slightly taps your forehead to emphasise his words, before tucking the hair that had fallen infront of your face behind your era.

You silently study his face, his blonde soft hair, his angel eyes and your eyes finally land on his red lips. You desperately want to take the leap and kiss him until your lungs begin to burn from the lack of air. You want to hide yourself in his arms, where you're safley locked away from the world. You want him to hold you so delicately, as if you'd break like glass.

You tear your eyes away from his plush lips and sigh as you can't bring yourself to look at him anymore. "I can't keep doing this." You pathetically mutter under your breath, hating the way more salty tears push their way into your eyes.

"Doing what?" Nathan's voice has dropped to a whisper as you looks at you.

"This! I can't keep loving people who leave! I can't let more kindling be added to this burning feeling inside me!" Your voice raises, but you're not angry. You're just so tired and fucking emotionally drained. You try to ignore the never ending stream of tears that flow from your eyes. "It hurts too much and I can't do it anymore!" You subconsciously grasp his shirt, as if that's enough to stop him from disappearing.

Nathan says your name, as quite as a whisper and you just stare into his eyes. The hand on your cheek moves to lightly grasp the back of your scalp and Nathan moves forward to place his forehead agaisnt your own, in an attempt to ground you to the present. "I'm not going anywhere without you. I don't fucking care if it means we travel the entire fucking world, I'm not letting you go." He vows, with such a sincere look in his eyes, a look you've never seen anyone give you before.

Silence falls once again and you're still so close to the point where you can feel each other's breath on your faces. Neither of you can help but glance down at each other's lips. Slowly but surely, your bodies move impossibly closer and your lips dance over one another.

His touch burns and stabs into your soul, but you can't convince yourself to let him go. Nathan's here and he's staying. He's worth the pain.

[antiendovents]

breaking the queue I already set up to vent. Probably gonna put it under the cut because GOD DAMN I am angry. Dont worry, the queue will be back to normal soon ((yes I queue posts, don't question me, I will cry))

Uh, also I think I'll add a tag for my own vents, so you can block them if you wanna (#personal vent / #personal vents <- two because I'll probably forget to add or get rid of the "s")

I HATE ENDOS. I am like barely holding myself together, I am sick and tired of trying to find xenogenders, labels, ect, for me and my headmates only for them to be made by endos. Even when I see pro endos with like "oh, DNI if anti endo, but you can still use my terms so don't reclaim them" it makes me pissed off because I DONT WANT to use an pro endos term. I shouldn't have to. Am I going to reclaim it? I DONT KNOW. I want to but I have no motivation, only fear and anger. I am sick of my disorder being treated like a game. I have literally lost years of my life. Years, months that I can't remember. All of it gone. I question whats a trauma response and what's not constantly, I don't know if the trauma I remember is all that happened or if there's more I don't know about. Yet endos can just sit here with their little roleplaying accounts, pretending to have the disorder that makes my life a living hell. I can't make friends, I'm so fucking scared of people, of the outside world, so I come here to the internet and everything is so much worse. FUCK SAKE WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A SPACE TO BE ME. I am so tired of endos taking over safe spaces.

[kafus]

ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

[theprodigypenguin]

At this moment the dragon hating agenda comes around like clockwork. This isn't even the first time THIS YEAR that I have to constantly see people shitting on him for not being omnipotent

Oh dude, anon, I have to actively stay away from the Dragon tags on Tumblr cuz it's ALL people just shitting on him. Or it's posts not even pertinent to him, like stop tagging him this has nothing to do with him.

One time I saw a post where someone was arguing that the only reason Dragon approved of Luffy being a pirate is because it was useful to the Revolutionary cause. ?????? HOW? "He's using Luffy as a tool" MUHFUCKER, HOW?

I genuinely have no idea why people hate him so much. There are characters with less screentime than him who are more popular. There are genuinely EVIL characters who are more popular.

"He abandoned Luffy" MY GUY? IS THAT YOUR ONLY REASON? Show me an itemized list of canon events that justify disliking him TO THIS DEGREE it's ridiculous.

Cuz the more I learn about him, the more I fucking love him, and I was already on the Dragon Fan Band Wagon. I'm actually driving the bitch at this point.

No but on god I don't understand the hate, and I could vent for pages about how stupid it is. Like this is a fictional story, he doesn't exist, but the way some people HATE him is a bit much. Like you're really gonna spend your precious time bitching about a guy who sacrificed everything to help people while in the same breath get hot over characters who have committed actual war crimes and physically wounded or fucked Luffy up? Okay 👍

My header is "Monkey D Dragon Apologist" for a very good reason 🫰

[sol-consort]

I think I need to find a way to stop being gay it's too hard 😞. Because I'm always falling for the most obscure fem characters that have almost no fanfiction written about them/hardly any fandom. 1st, it's Ashley who's really hard to find the gay fandom for (you're a dimond in the rough fr) and there's only a handful of fanfiction for and then today I've just seen that deadpool wolverine movie and I'm thinking 'obviously there's gonna be a lot of fanfiction for this sexy evil bald lesbian like this is a major motion picture' only to be met with reality fist straight to the face when I tried looking up fanfiction and there was none zero. I think I'm freaking too close to the sun.

(Srry for venting, but I fear we share the struggle of what is essentially being in a half dead fandom)

I feel you, it's so jarring how little attention gay women characters get in fandom spaces. Unless the source media itself is explicity sapphic, then finding any fanfics about lesbian characters is akin to panning for gold at the edge of the river.

The "older" a fandom is, the more obvious this phenomenal becomes. Mass Effect, for example...I mean let's just call it what it is. Blatant misogyny. Why doesn't Vetra get the same treatment as Garrus? Why isn't Miranda celebrated for her genius as much as Mordin is? Why does EDI get reduced to hot sexy robot while Legion gets the cool badass design? Why does Ashley get so much shit about her ME1 alien racist remarks when even Kaidan, Jacob, and Joker had some racist lines? Renegade Shepard is the epitome of human supremacy yet here we are.

It's still prevalent in new big fandoms. In BG3, for example, I wrote so much for Minthara, my longest and most intricate fic ever was made for her. Yet my stories that got to most attention and requests for updates are about male characters. One of them is a literal npc with no relevance for the plot.

I was happy finding out that Kaidan actually has presence in fanfics, but when I scrolled through Ashley's AO3 tag expecting something similar, I was so fucking stunned to find nothing. It's why I even wrote that Ashley fic, I was so frustrated at the lack of content for her. It started this blog.

Much like my frustration at the lack of content for Minthara started my other blog.

I wish women characters get the same treatment in fanfics written about them as men. By that, I mean they deserve shameless smut. They deserve casual sex. They deserve silly fics, parodies, and memes made about them. They deserve dating HC and having flaws that they don't feel guilty for.

Allow them the exact same courtesy extended to the token hot male characters of a fandom. Why doom the yuri constantly? Let it breathe for a second. Give it the space to be any genre it wants.