#one of the true constants in this life. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

areyouwho-ithinkyouare · 2 years ago

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if my mum is cooking you can always tell when the food is out of the oven because without FAIL that woman WILL set the smoke alarm off

#i don’t know how she does it #the oven is fine #i used the oven yesterday no alarm to be heard #literally every time.#one of the true constants in this life.

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dayurno · 1 year ago

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(voice of a man slowly losing his mind) does it ever strike you that the plot of aftg is moved by little acts of kindness kevin offered to people who never had any semblance of it before. loving riko when no one would, befriending jean in the nest and keeping him alive through debilitating amounts of trauma, telling andrew he was worth it in a dingy high school locker room, teaching neil every night even if he knew he was about to die

#if i think too much of it i need to throw up #i know i say kevin character of all times but im NOT JOKING. IM NOT #kevin is the one constant voice in the story that is telling these characters i think you are worth it #i think there is a future for you #i think you have a life worth living #and its fine if you dont care about him if you think hes mean if you think hes annoying #BUT ITS STILL TRUE YOU KNOW..........#its still true that when it mattered he was kind. when it mattered he was there to help #kevin dayyyy TT__TT #kevin day #all for the game #txt

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lady-of-the-upside-down · 6 months ago

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The one major thing about being the type of person who has been constantly pushed away from many different friend or community groups basically since birth!is that at some point when joining a new group you struggle with forming bonds with the people there because deep inside you know that they’re going to abandon you anyways (at best, due to life or at worst, due to you not being useful to them anymore, or being too much) so why bother.

It hurts. It actually hurts to feel the aches deep within me when my heart wants—from the bottom of itself—to form a bond, to make memories and show itself to the world; my mind, on the other hand, weary with age and trauma, doesn’t want to take chances anymore—ever the cynical entity. Almost all of the time, the jadedness of my mind wins.

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago

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do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.

#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral #the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation #the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart #AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE #five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home #then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles #perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals....#going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back #he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better #and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see #THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING #absolutely unprompted #the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life #god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year?#is it year eight of having them? year nine?#one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive #the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much #he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest #he sleeps on my ribs <3 #the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions #and fuck... he's really changed with me huh??#his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years #like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in #we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk #i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs...#my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3 #maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait #his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery #god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me #he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3

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pennyserenade · 1 year ago

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dana scully you didn’t stand a chance and neither did i. this was one of the top ten romantic things i have ever seen in my entire life

#misc.#x files #i think about the sixth extinction i & ii: amor fati more than i should #bc i just wanted to kiss his forehead and put him to bed in it #that scene where diana said she wondered what fox was dreaming abt #and the csm said he was dreaming of what all men like him do: normalcy #the way he imagined an entire life with diana — the wedding and the babies and his sister living just down the street #with her own children #but at the end he was old and dying and alone and it was dana standing there #holding his hand telling him this wasn’t the end. that he couldn’t die. that she wouldn’t let him #that’s true love for fox: not a fantasy but someone who will remain real and constant and true even when it is hard #bc no one in his life ever was. dana won’t leave him. not in dreams. not in life. it makes me so 😭

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leothil · 3 months ago

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interesting that the claim always is "bucktommies stay in their lane" meanwhile one of the loudest bucktommy-oriented blogs has been harassing journalists on twitter and keeps writing mean posts about buddie blogs and buddie fans on twitter and tiktok 🤔 and how she just last night brought up the csam fics again only for the troll to rear its head again. simply fascinating. but somehow the buddie blogs are behind it all because they're Evil or something?

#yes she's a troll and wants attention but this constant insistence from certain blogs that bucktommy fans never have done anything wrong in #their life is extremely irritating when there's literal proof out there of the opposite.#again just because YOU don't see it doesn't mean it's not happening. like come on. i hope you can continue to be in your bubbles though #completely seriously because seeing this bullshit is so unnecessary but you cannot claim that it's “one side” doing all the bad things #because that is simply not true #fandom discourse #SORRY everyone i'm simply so goddamn tired

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authenticcadence18 · 7 months ago

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I miss the person I was a year ago. two years ago. more social. happier. doing more creatively.

#ya girl is just sad today #yelling into the void bc idk where else to yell #I was so much happier this time last year #even tho I have really good things in my life rn #I just think about like #April 2023 me :(#or!#fall 2020 me #she was living in constant covid anxiety sure #but she was also having the time of her life writing phinbella romance and sharing it with friends #now I haven’t updated that fic in nearly two years #and there’s friends I just don’t see much of anymore #which is no one’s fault that is just how life is #but it just aches #I just feel so sad #or 2021 me #she was posting so much art!!! literally living it up!!!!!!!#now well I mean #my newest pnf piece has gotten close to 500 likes on instagram which has never happened with my pnf art before #so that’s really cool #but I just #ugh #at least I have TTPD #I feel so disconnected from people which is the true reason I post art or fic or whatever #even tho I have lovely friends who I adore!!! they just feel far away #which isn’t anyone’s fault it’s just how life is and my own weird perception of the world #anyway #all this to say I do have a chfil chapter in the works still #maybe finishing that will heal me lmao #cadence rambles

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mellotronmkll · 3 months ago

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I need to stop having one weird reaction with someone and then letting the anxiety decide in my head that the friendship is doomed because I ruined it like it's my absolute worst trait and I just have to move past it but it's hard

#i have to operate under the assumption that if people have an issue they will tell me but unfortunately this isnt true .#and it has happened to me in the past that i thought everything was ok because people were giving signals i wasnt picking up on #due to the autism so now im paranoid and constantly looking for signs i did something wrong and people are mad #and then i find them where they arent there which perversely does more to ruin a friendship than almost anything else #like the constant Are you mad at me... so i try to force myself not to do that and just #try to again assume that people arent however. im so worried about being blindsided Also of course i naturally dont want to make people #upset so if i am doing something wrong i want to change my behavior. however the fact its nuanced like #where you have to only do that a little bit and then take people at their word most of the time #fucking sucks like you actually are required in relationships to read peoples unspoken signals but you cant do that Too much #and if you misinterpet them its bad... but you cant ask for feedback too much because thats bad too. IT DOES MY HEAD IN actually like #it makes it so hard for me to interact with people because im just worried All of the time . and i have to be constantly like #ok check the facts and adjust behavior. check the facts and adjust behavior. make sure the facts are facts and not jumping to conclusions.#ok how do i do that . ok when do i ask directly. also people dont always tell the truth when you Do ask directly .#and then this is why my whole life i have mostly kept to myself and im trying to stop doing that but its hard because talking to others is a #puzzle for me that stresses me out more than anything else. man this sucksssssss can i just BE NORMAL!!!!!!#i know like Everyone has this problem its a common issue with relationships Communication but it feels especislly difficult for me .i #like cant fathom how other people manage very large numbers of friendships like even being able to count my close friends #on one hand i feel like im barely managing everything and im letting everyone down constantly but again i think thatsnonly my perception/#worry and not even true. god

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longagoitwastuesday · 3 months ago

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ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.

Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.

#Kusakabe's words are harsh and negative but there's some true and some logic to them #but in beholding the entire story and the whole context‚ especially with the flashbacks in mind‚ in getting to know the sweet kid Yuuji is‚#the reader is made to find Kusakabe's words a bit outrageous and cruel and Gojo's position becomes the obvious one like Nanami's was #Like Kusakabe's is too in a way since he too says no matter what it's always the adults' fault whatever the cause was #And following the story we see Gojo cared a lot about those kids and them keeping their youthful cheerfulness if in his very flippant way #That's basically his main constant thread. We see it at the very beginning in what he did for Yuta and how Yuta is so fond of him #We see him at the very end in a way too with the letters he left #And his entire motivation was changing the very messed up society to avoid the kids going through what he and his friends went through #and to prevent them from being lonely the way he felt he was. Ontologically alienated. Entirely othered #And of course it's in part him keeping people away like Shoko. Or even Yuta (though here again it's at the core of his action his attempt #at protecting the kids and trying to prevent them from growing too fast)#And of course this is motivated by his own experiences and in that sense not entirely a selfless act #But those things still don't negate that his goal was for the future kids to be... in a better situation than what he and his friends lived #So Nanami's words are very cruel and... blind. Of course it's possible that Gojo's way of approaching the problem is still something #Nanami would regard as selfish (but it could be argued that so is Nanami's)‚ or that Gojo's perception of Nanami's way of thinking #about him would be this negative. But what we see through the story absolutely contradict Nanami's words in that airport #And though both Nanami's words and Kusakabe's are negative in regards to Gojo‚ they in a way contradict each other #The kids' words and way of seeing Gojo is most of the time more... accurate? If also diverse among them #They see him like an idiot. They trust him. They think he's childish and annoying. They love him #They find him flippant. They know he cares about them. In a way they see both what Kusakabe and Nanami say about him #The negative. And the ultimate positive aspect at the core of it all. That Gojo did care and that Gojo did take care #and that Gojo risked and sacrificed a lot for them and that Gojo was doing this in great part because of his own past #Yuta perhaps is the one who sees it best but it's so interesting too the dynamic Maki‚ Yuuji and Megumi have with Gojo‚ his acts and antics #And this whole thing‚ this frivolous and even... cruel way most adults seem to regard Gojo and how it clashes with the kids' deep feelings #about him (beyond the initial 'he's an untrustworthy idiot' though those as well!') is super interesting and super sad and super juicy #OR IT COULD BE bc in the end all that happens is that Nanami says that and Gojo pouts comically or that Kusakabe makes that offhand comment #as if it held no weight‚ as if Yuji weren't present and had never agonised over it‚ as if Gojo hadn't lost his life trying to save the kid #And yes he risked more than his life but he was trying to save a kid bc another kid (bc Megumi!) asked. But maybe it didn't matter if no one #asked. He saved Yuta too. Of course he would have risked it all. In his mix of selfishness and selflessness. Everything is so juicy #yet the writing feels so dry and lame. There's no pondering. There's talk of guilt and grief without any true sense of grieving or loss

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gothsuguru · 3 months ago

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i love muting people on twitter some of you bitches are very dumb

#what do you MEAN gojo wasn’t traumatized by toji??? 😭#i don’t think that gege has to spoonfeed every single morsel of information for you… like if you READ the manga you’d know 😭#why is the reason gojo works so tirelessly on his infinity??? during his fight w sukuna why was he reminded of toji???#LIKE HELLO??? this is why heavily shipper brains are so useless to me #this one was goge shipper and for some reason they just completely watered down gojo’s personality/trauma like HUH #geto isn’t the only person who went through things 😭#also saying that geto was the only person who saw gojo as a person… that’s true to an extent #pre-defection geto ABSOLUTELY! gojo never was around Normal People so that’s why he acts the way he acted it’s obvious #but i’d argue post-defection geto… even for a little bit… saw gojo as a tool rather than a human #bc he even tells gojo that if suguru was gojo then his impossible ideals wouldn’t be impossible anymore simply by the virtue of being gojo #i think after people realize satoru’s strength they immediately throw away his humanity #which is something that his kids don’t really care much for… like yeah gojo sensei is strong but the 1st years don’t gaf that much 😭#i think they see him more for his personality than his Strength but they obviously know he’s the strongest #and i think they know he wants them to be strong too #satoru also said he can only save people who want to be saved #i think he’s in constant of his students for that reason too… they save each other & communicate & are allowed to be kids #i think also bc satoru finds it so important to enjoy the mundane things of life and to enjoy friendships bc that’s the only thing that +#he himself had cultivated during his years as as student too #this became a rant but . @ shippers & @ anyone stupid… stop watering down gojo #it’s my biggest pet peeve idk why but nothing pisses me off more in the jjk sphere than people watering down gojo #just bc his trauma manifested in different ways doesn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt 😭#like don’t forget about satoru gojo!!!!!! he’s a lot more emotionally perceptive/mature than people give him credit for #personal

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icelogged · 1 year ago

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*2015 voice* i wish i had the chillness instead i got the mental illness

#evidence of life #tw for mental illnesses major distress illness symptoms that aren’t romanticized (lawl) suicide ableism i guess?#idk just a massive tw for what i’ve said in the notes / don’t read if descriptions of mental illnesses bother you etc #////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////#i literally had to mix rubbing alcohol into my body wash then put it all over my body except my hair to stop myself from committing suicide #i’m so serious if there’s one thing i don’t say with my convoluted levels irony it’s suicide whenever i say kms im 100% serious #suicide is literally a constant ideation for me and i just can’t teehee about it ever i think it’s because it is one of the few ways i feel #that i can take total control full autonomy #anyways isn’t crazy traumatic things will happen and we have to just keep going like im literally on tumblr after [redacted]…#also why is my psychosis so obsessed with break ins these days when i was doing my rubbing alcohol scrub it did the break in scenario #like miss girl literally nobody want us that bad take a seat…#anyways this day started out okayish and now it’s literally *burning building in the background*#i wanna try to at least make it possibly kind of better by going to watch the sunset but no promises kinda itching for more rubbing alcohol #anyways slayyyy respectfully i hope this scares off…who it usually does…#like bro i am not a manic pixie dream girl i am not a smol bean with anxiety not a depressed gloomy muse etc #i am [as described by men who thought that i was just another goth bitch with daddy issues that knew all the right moves to make me into #whatever they needed me to be and or thought i was being hyperbolic when i say i am insane in the head and the pussy (as above so below)]#‘crazy crazy’ ‘fucked up’ ‘not worth it [because i am crazy for real]’ ‘[in need for a dude who one course in psychology and thinks that and #his dick are enough to ‘cure me’ ‘weird’ ‘freak’ ‘looney’ (kinda love that one like so true) etc (bc i don’t want to talk abt this anymore)#edit: my temporary icon bothering more than it should rn ughhh bad end all around goodness

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nerdsandbabyteeth · 2 years ago

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Constantly trapped between I can’t wait to live away from my family and spend more time alone because I feel like my thoughts will have time to settle and I will lose my mind if I live alone because I am starting to lose a sense of self this week simply because two of my friends are away and I don’t speak to anyone much in school.

#noggin time #I also cannot stand the fact that people I know follow me online or people I respect even #because I have a constant nagging feeling I’m completely and utterly embarrassing I see people posting abt things in their life and like #venting or whatever and I could never do that I think bc so many people follow me that I see face to face #I mean I’m doing this right now but tumblr is it’s own beast I have like one person I know irl on here I think #also it’s not like I have no friends I still talk to teachers and other people but it’s my best friend who I meet every morning and my new #friend I made this year who is in all the same free periods as me and also likes talking about tv shows so it’s like two people I talktomost #if this were a therapy session which it now is I would trace back my feeling of pure unfiltered embarrassment at simply being online back to #when I used framecast when I was like 9 and I drew a character inspired by someone’s oc and they vague posted quite civil abt it like please #don’t copy my ocs guys and I cried about it for hours and hours and I’ve never been the same since not to sound dramatic but it’s true #I delete Instagram every 3 days because it starts to make me feel physically unwell and then I re-download it because I miss everyone #I didnr consider i might have some sort of mental issues other than autism until recently because I just convinced myself this isn’t a prope #r issue I should just get over it but at this point it’s violently affecting my moods when I’m not immediately talking to anyone

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b-blushes · 1 year ago

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r.e. last reblog i think i am 'guy who walks really slowly outside and takes pictures/videos of everything' perhaps

#that probably was not a literal question but it's nice to think about and come up with at least one thing that feels like it does like.#feel true to me if that makes sense.#there are huge moments of my life where i would have been like 'nothing!!!!!' and now there is something! at least one something!#i've gotta create more somethings.....#Also very relevant because i've been so inside lately and so busy today that i was just thinking how endless today feels and how #difficult it is to feel like i could quiet my brain except by going to sleep. not very mellow vibes it's hard to find a state between #constant motion and complete stillness!

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shamemp3 · 2 years ago

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sociology and anthropology are everything to me … like they are so broad because they are the study of humans and their lives and interactions and feelings and etc etc and its broad enough that you can have a class about genuinely ANYTHING because sociology is engrained in everything around us…and the message my profs leave us with every time is that the human experience is so unique and dynamic and yet universally there are still so many similarities and connections that keep us bonded together. and these studies make us find bits and pieces in humanity literally everywhere like you can look at a piece of string or like garbage on the floor or be placed into the strangest situations and have the most mundane interactions on the street and you will find yourself going like ‘:] wow humans are so interesting and this world is so interesting. why did this happen what made this person like this?’ like!!! i just like how broad this study is and how every class can be abt smth completely different but the main idea will always be about the human experience and connection. i love my major sorry im done now

#never in my life did i think i would acc have a passion for studying bro it sucked the soul out of me up until like last year #and my prof going like studying soc & anthro have made her be able to distance herself from a situation even a really shitty one and just be #like. huh. this is so interesting time to observe. And jts SO TRUE like u notice the little things in like hand gestures or pauses or a way #someone moves their arm or literaly anything and u go like omg this is so <3 what made this person do this rly small thing like even our #smallest subconscious actions are a part of us [symbolic interactionism moment]#and my prof saying how anthro and ethnography projects need u to adapt all the time and be able to let go of yourself and change your #identity and expect new things all the time like thats all ive ever been looking for is constant change & stimulation i need this PLEASW #like this is sociology linguistics psychology language science all put together into one major. to me. and i looove that #ok sorry done

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nerdblob · 2 years ago

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kanyniablue · 1 year ago

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haha i used too many tags on that last post

#tropes #anyways as i wrote out:#you know the classic mystery plotline chapter by chapter #set up unusual crime. introduce detective(s) including their gimmick. the true culprit has to be among the first wave of characters.#establish semi obvious explanation. threaten detective. plot twist--different explanation.#shocking reveal. obvious villain was red herring; true culprit is nearby & reveals their motive. detective lays out info.#villain gets ironic comeuppance. denouement. fin #this series went the 'gimmicky amateur detective + hardnose cop with actual legal authority' route #offbrand phryne & jack #not that it mattered since none of the ironic comeuppances meant legal consequences #which really just emphasizes the 'police beating confessions out of people is ok if its for a good reason (:' thinking #the historical setting in the first book took a little bit of care about establishing historic norms and what life was like #the rest were basically 'horses and gaslamps. did you know the cops used to beat people? crazy! CONFESS.'#teddy roosevelt showed up at a few points as one of the MCs' friends #you're supposed to think the MCs are really cool and special but they just...aren't #you know when an author WANTS you to feel a certain way but shows you the puppet strings too much?#this was constant #it dawned on me that it wasnt going to get better & sometimes a series makes money bc it comes out every year.#yeah no like literally teddy roosevelt

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