#the oven is fine

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

if my mum is cooking you can always tell when the food is out of the oven because without FAIL that woman WILL set the smoke alarm off

[teaboot]

if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?

Oh my goddd you have no idea

I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.

A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.

To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.

While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats

Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.

I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself-  out of my programming and replaced it with something else.

Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.

People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure

Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else? Can Murderbot be anything else?

It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?

I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?

Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?

Yeah, that resonates.

I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened

And now I have to just. Keep going

Into... what?

It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.

So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.

So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess

[eskiinox]

I don't want to Cause Alarm BUT MORT IS REAL!!!!!!!!! AND BERT!!! MORT AND BERT ARE REAL!!!!!!!!

(they are having a FAMILY PHOTO!!!!!)

[existennialmemes]

I've moved beyond Hangry. Now I'm whatever you call it when you've forgotten to eat for too many hours and now you're so hungry that the physical steps of food preparation are so overwhelming you have to wail and cry about it.

[unexpectedbrickattack]

get normaled, idiot

[grumpyghostdoodles]

Y u always draw Chara with long nails? Are they acrylics or something?

Recovering from coming back from the dead? Pfff, easy peasy!

Remembering that you now have very sharp nails and teeth, and that you could take your eye out if you try to scratch it? Impossible

[its-sunny-somewhere-else]

He will be turned into a succulent meal

[apllsauc]

I made another one :]

zombie edition!

[deathandthemagician]

I think I'm a pretty chill person except for all my irrational anxieties and prey animal tendencies

[sergle]

Goddd one thing I PERSONALLY really like about Ebay specifically is that the sellers are always so NICE. Like they’re all (mostly, at least for the kind of stuff I order) just random people trying to get rid of old stuff and they’re always so nice about like questions and asking to see diff angles of the product etc. I have yet to encounter an Ebay seller that I didn’t like immediately. Like Etsy shops without the Customer Service vibe. Just random ppl trying to sell you stuff out of their garage or whatever and it’s great!!

I HAVE THE SAME EXPERIENCE specifically when I'm buying used clothes-- it'll be some seller who is like. very clearly some 60 year old mom hocking the clothes her kids don't wear anymore. And it'll show up in a flower print mailer with a note written with a ballpoint pen saying thank you lmao

[theswedishpajas]

Some more doodles I did today

[orcelito]

Super sexy me is so sexy I accidentally set off the fire alarm while baking pie shells for my pumpkin pie. And now I don't know if I should've even baked them in the first place. But well. Too late now 👍

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

.

[cartoon-angerr]

Them 🥹

I headcanon Furnoss and Loodvigg being afraid of water so whenever they go out for a walk they bring an umbrella, just in case!

[crazylittlejester]

yo everyone share what crazy thing happened to you today because NO ONE i know had a normal day?? I’ll go first: I woke up with no hearing in my left ear and minimal hearing in my right, it then came back in the middle of the day randomly, and now it’s gone again lmao 🫶

[so-much-for-subtlety]

I’m making Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s carrot cake!