#one familiar; one desire
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SERIES ALERTTTTT
Hi friends! My brain has actually been cooperating lately, so I'm working on a series - masterlist here
George Russell x female reader and Lando Norris x female reader
(Lando endgame & George is an ass)
Regency era type shit (although I'm sure there will be mistakes)
ALSO, look at these beautiful photos I found on pinterest (but they're from autoraving on tiktok).
Comment or shoot me a message/ask if you’d like to be added to a tag list!
#sunflowerlando writes#f1 fic#lando norris x reader#george russell x reader#ofod#one familiar; one desire
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thinking about the jimmy scar pearl venn diagram and absolutely just disintegrating over it
#(obligatory: as characters)#was extensively rambling to myself in discord when i realized the lifers who anguish me most narratively are those three#(out of the ones that i am familiar with anyways)#thinking about this more and getting so inconsolably sad. hey guys does the loneliness ever eat you alive#the ostracization the isolation the shame the guilt the desperate continual want & desire for genuine human connection#only to be categorically denied it at every turn#to be mocked because you cannot fly though you desperately try. and you fall each and every single time#to be so easily discarded because you will always die first. a truth so widely accepted you almost start to believe in it too#because being a ''good person'' just simply isn't how you play this game#because it's a fundamental truth of this world that you always play the role of the villain. why start acting differently now?#you were left behind and abandoned and locked up. thrown inside that tower to rot.#your hair will never be long enough to let down so you cut it all off. and when you start yelling & screaming & drawing blood because of it#it only further convinces everyone else that this was the right decision#because you're a danger. a menace. a demon. and you will only ever hurt the ones you love#Hey. Hi. Hello#Hey guys. i need jimmy to win so so so so so so badly
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ok well. unfortunate news: sometimes ur niche is so niche u've already niched the niche. this is exactly the same as the feeling of hitting the end of ur ship tag in ao3 🥲
*edit: sorry i accidentally named like every character ever in the tags so ppl are Seeing this post who dont have the benefit of so much as a single crumb of context. if i accidentally namedropped ur blorbo its bc of this post:
anyway. i was excited for recs bc i also enjoy this genre of fictional character. unfortunately as above the niche is niched, it turns out. at least for me, content enjoyer georg, who has apparently already seen or read everything anyone else has already seen or read except for a small handful of specific media properties that i do not wish to see or read for various personal reasons and also not literally everything ever... just the same things as everyone else has already seen and read... u get the idea. ok thnks 👍🏻
#*slowly morosely untucks the bib and folds it up again#smh#idk if that post breached containment in the wrong direction or what but there were like 3ppl apiece talking about good actual examples#and those were like 99% media i already reaaaadddd im tearjngn my hair out#but far and away most ppl flat out missed the brief#like i think out of almost four thousand tags about four tagged ghost. four tagged geralt. three andrew minyard. etc#sobbung im sad for me AND for yall like this is ur jam and the best u can put up for example is dean winchester????#listen i know im on the supernatural site. voluntarily. but ur really gonna tell me thats the best u can do 😭😭#like a solid handful said bucky barnes. good solid classic example i'll give it to u but its 2024 😭😭😭😭😭😭#all respect to the ppl tagging ocs tho y'all are real 🫡 bc its looking like if we want it we do gotta get in the trenches and write it 😔✊#anywya i came away with approximately one and a half recs and then 3-4 repeated vouchers for media i know i am just never gonna consume rip#and the rest of yall.. have some kinda different media literacy situation going on we went thru v different english programs i fear#😔😔#angie.txt#like i believe the boba fett girlies are right and on to something but i am simply not going down the mouse route on my own dime#so those recs are. moot#not a single trigun mention i dont think.. not vash or nick or i wouldve even given a pass to a shoutout for knives#some of u said kaz and i havent read the books but even just based on the tv series p sure i can respect that.#one i have to look into asap is whoever evan kelmp(?) is- whatever hes from im not familiar and seems promising.#izzy hands im so sorry. im fundamentally incapable of watching ofmd unfortunately i watched black sails first#wasnt aware it was going to ruin other pirate related media for me when i made that decision 😭😭#i respect the arcane shoutouts but i do think it's hilarious that no two of u called out the same character.#murderbot obviously#i just think some of yall are so close yet so far and i want better for us all so goddamn badlyyy#update: i checked and op seems to have been generalizing off of boba fett/wolverine/magneto etc and yeah that tracks#smbdy said john wick - more than one actually- and while i hear u i also invite u to consider:#that man's singular desire is literally to go back into retirement in peace all he wanted was a quiet night in a rocking chair w that dog..#i dont think id go so far as to say he wouldnt know what to do with a warm bed if he got it. or attach himself to sbdy attack dog style atp#ykwim#somebody said patrick bateman.. yall are just listing names atp. darth vader? kylo? all right pack it up folks
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It makes me so sad still that Caleb only returned Molly's forehead kiss when he thought he'd lost his Circus Man for good, when he thought there'd never be another chance to show Molly how much he really means to him. To act on those lingering feelings.
Tealeaf who always saw how touch starved yet terrified of intimacy Caleb was, always holding everyone at a distance. Tealeaf never knowing that Caleb held him in his arms and gently combed back his hair and kissed him and returned that forehead kiss from so long ago.
Caleb who was so hesitant whenever Molly tried to reach out--Caleb being the one to say, "Get him out of there," and limp over to Molly's side as soon as he came back to life. And then when he gets that kiss, he can't even feel it.
Kingsley being especially warm and affectionate one day, perhaps feeling a little nostalgic. And Caleb just pulls him in and kisses him on the forehead again--and this time he doesn't have to say goodbye.
#i simply think if tealeaf knew caleb kissed him when he was gone#he would insist it was unfair and he was cheated out of a kiss until caleb smiled and gave him another one--#both of them falling back into that comfortable familiarity#caleb being so much more openly affectionate with king even when hes still scared and guarded and distant#king who is all impulse and feelings and desires and instinct#and who wants to show caleb how much he adores him immediately
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Also I dunno if ill be editing or posting episodes of it bc I haven't checked if obs picked up my microphone but I joined an smp and promptly ended up speedrunning the ars nouveau system to get a familiar even tho I don't even have a spell book to use it with lollll
#Tysm for the three people who put up with me refusingggg to leave this one pink starbuncle until i had it as a familiar lol and brought me#Like so much stuff#In my defense its an investment for when they wanna do ars nouveau I've got like 90% of the needed stuff for any rituals or imbuement one#Could desire doing#Ty seashells for ur drop of gold nuggets on occasion u saved us sm
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my tav's had 'escaped drider ceremony' on their background since day one, but now im like. what if i doom your narrative. what if the worm is keeping you from becoming that which you most fear. what if freedom from the illithid means capture at the hands of llolth.
#tav bg3#vicorae#drider#spiders for tw#arachnophobia#just to be safe#things ive drawn#if they were an origin character they'd have an end game like karlachs#where things arent resolved because its a bigger issue than can be fixed in the time span and scope of bg3#theres been a bunch of different drider lore over the years but it looks like bg3 is rolling with the kind im familiar with#which is that its a punishment from llolth for failing her.#(or in vic's case: for being a dirty dirty rebel and also gender fuckery)#drow Hate Driders. they are not considered humanoid or sentient. they ARE considered disgusting and horrifying.#they dont have genitalia or a sex drive. they're driven mad by the pain of the transformation and dont have survival instincts.#(thats why Kar'niss is the way he is!)#they guard menzoberranzan out of compulsive duty to llolth and bc their one desire is to die in combat.#vicorae was SUPPOSED to be turned into a drider but the ceremony was interrupted and they escaped just prior to bg3#and now. there are Consequences.
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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tragic yet funny thing w the alfira stuff first is that I didn’t really get to talk to the companions about the murderous desires so it feels kinda moot. the companions are all like. yeah we know. we know. we all know now
#anyway thinking about how I unintentionally put dirge into lore college bard#a subclass that gets cutting words (my beloved)#and took the spell vicious mockery#truly like. a guy who will be so pointed w insults#words are. so important 2 dirge#the power words have and the cunning behind them#I love. high charisma characters so so much#i can see there being a running joke that they could become a great politician#to wit they reply they were a cult leader so it’s not too far off#thinking about how they are the same and different#there is still the charm but there’s no…need to be dogmatic?#being infallible. being closed off and intolerable#there was no real room for attachments beyond. adoration#and they liked it. craved it. the charisma born out of the desire to be liked and it’s a oroborus#I think for dirge it’s being deprived of the environment that fostered their attitudes + the brain damage#where there is a degree of genuineness between people#that and the memory loss#seeing people more like people and not just in the lens of the cult + the thumb of a violent deity#makes it easier to see people as people#it’s when the regrets of death and the desire to preserve life#I’m just puzzling out how they come to reject the urge#why not go crawling back to the familiar? it’s the one thing that makes sense in their head#so why reject it?#much to think about aaaaaa#oc: dirge
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...
#there's something really beautiful about experiencing the weather patterns of a new place#where i live now. its not like where i grew up. not like the foothills of Appalachia but its more familiar than the Chihuahuan desert was#when i go home to ohio everythings so green. so green. unimaginably green and the towns are in the woods. the hills roll#and trees billow deciduous and packed so tightly the treeline is like a wall of plant matter. here there are trees but they are tall and#evergreen. patchy in places like shrubs in the desert. the grass grows green but also pale tan and dead. houses are routed in valleys#between mountains. they're made of wood and not stucco but they still look strange and the landscape is crumpled together tall. and there's#water. it rains. days can be dreary and gray with drizzle. i forgot what thats like. when a single low stratus cloud blocks out thewhole sk#and fog clings to the trees. my school bus used to drive by a lake where thr fog was so thick i didnt kno how the driver could see the road#but somehow i forgot how much joy suspended water vapor gives me living in a place where when it rains it pours so hard the streets flood#and the greedy ground drinks the landscape dry. but there are new things as well. here smoke rolls up over thr mountains and gets stuck in#the valleys so that the weather forcast reads: Smoke for days on end. im used to tornado warnings and heat warnings and dust storm warnings#but ive never expected Smoke as a type of weather. and im sure there's more to experience. ive only been here like 3 weeks. its not as gree#as home. the storms dont seem to get quite so violent. the woods are so full of bears that its an active threat. but its not the desert#and while ill miss the shapes of desert plants and little lizards. when i look up at the pine and spruce trees i feel like i can breathe a#little easier. well see how i feel once the long cold winter sets in haha#but i dunno. part of me still longs for a violent thunderstorm. one where u can feel the temperature drop and u csn feel it building all da#one that bends the trees and smells like ozone. it was never like that in thr southwest and im not sure that happens here#but maybe thats just a desire for chaos and violence as a product of my pathological internal control. i cant be spontaneous so let nature#bring the fear to me. some of my favorite memories are watching lightning strikes#so it goes i suppose#unrelated#listen. is it fucked up to have ohio nostalgia? maybe so. but in my defense i grew up in the pretty part of ohio lol
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One familiar; One desire Moodboard
Pairing: George Russell x female reader & Lando Norris x female reader
Summary: Lando Norris, the Marquess of Somerset, is getting engaged. The problem? His future Lady -daughter of the Earl of Coventry- is infatuated with Sir George Russell, a knight of her father's lands.
Can he win over his future wife in time for the wedding, or will she manage to sabotage their betrothal to be with the one who holds her heart?
#one familiar; one desire#ofod#sunflowerlando writes#sunflowerlando creates#story moodboard#f1 fic#george russell x reader#lando norris x reader
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trying to craft a funger oc like aughhhh i can see him i can picture him in my head right now [image of the most off putting little man possible]
#he does not have a name yet but he DOES have a vague concept. author from the eastern union who got drafted into the military and--#--met another guy during the 1 week he had b4 getting shipped out to basic training. they immediately develop a WAY intense relationship--#--and constantly send letters to each other. author is a total chickenshit and comes to cope w the violence of war thru--#--alcoholism and a complete retreat into his obsession w the other man. gets a couple wires crossed and has his lust morph into more + more#--violent fantasies that the other man plays along w bc its Fun+Wild (at its core its the authors desire for CONTROL. if hes the one--#--bringing the pain then hes safe. even better if its with the single person in existence he feels like he can trust during that--#--period of time). manages to live throughout the rest of the war and rushes back to his lover. spends a slowly degrading week w him where-#--the man comes to realize what he thought of as simple metaphor+exaggeration was TRUE desire from the author + the author flounders--#--without the then expected+familiar terror day in and day out. culminates in the man demanding the author leave and never try to contact--#--him again (saying their romance was wild and exciting and unlike anything hed ever experienced but the only good way it couldve ended--#--was if the author died out on the front and forever left him Wanting without the actual reality of those desires realized) and the--#--author either tries to shoot himself or the man (fails to do so. lol) b4 running off to the first train out of town. worlds messiest guy#ya it leans a bit into samarie territory but hes fun. his theoretical ending b would probably have smth to do w sylvian worship + marriages#even more vague idea for his moonscorched form is a sopping wet pathetic red wolf ('red wolf' being one of the mans terms of endearment--#--thru their wartime love letters) w its legs tangled up in barbed wire so it has to drag itself around. red bc its incredibly--#--thin skin (<-- do you get it .) splits and bleeds thru with every movement. a lot of whining and incoherent babbling as it hesitates to--#--ACTUALLY attack anybody. should have some cock horror element but ive no ideas on that front LOL#skill ideas are persistence predator (more melee damage dealt the less mind hes got- a backstory choice where he focuses entirely on the--#--love letters rather than splitting focus on his on-pause career with short stories) and an unnamed one playing into his terror/lust deal-#--where he gets a buff to either melee damage or speed when his phobia is active. want to come up with at least one more though#mmmaybe him being an author doesnt play that well into his concept as a whole but hes my strangeguy so whatever
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"Are you alright?" Aqua turned to see Terra come toward her. She had never felt so relieved and angered at the same time. "Ven is… with Sabrina." Aqua told him. "Pleasantly." "And you can feel it?" This man must be an idiot. Aqua bit her tongue, pursing her lips together and giving a nod. She contemplated telling the hunter that she could almost hear it too, but admitting as such would probably unravel her modesty by proxy. There had to be another outlet. There had to be a way to stave off Ventus's hunger for Sabrina with a different kind of hunger… A hunger Aqua could control- if she wanted to. "Terra… You can help me." Aqua said, holding his hand toward him. "How?" the man questioned as he moved closer.
-
bitch you gonna die xD
#stupid vampirehunter!terra doesn't know he's about to be compelled -rolls eyes-#also a friendly reminder that vensabi get VERY hot and heavy when they're comfortable#and whilst i do not know how vampire familiars will function like luxmoogle desires or how wwdits does it#i can make up lore like this were emotions are shared between the two#and the BIG ones have BIG effects on the other#because lol#but don't worry#ven masking it so aqua isn't effected soon becomes a mini plot for them#-finger guns-#writing#writing stuff
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speaking of genbu's "serious" sounding tone in his voicebank, i think that might be why he was such a dead ringer for teto pre-synthv-bank-release with just a couple little gender parameter tweaks. wait do my followers know this. sorry i know most of my vocal synthesizer talk is genuinely gibberish to my beloved and loyal long time followers but do you guys know this. for a few years, people had discovered that since utau teto and genbu have this similar strong enunciation and dark sounding tone plus teto can have a bit of a tomboyish edge to her voice anyway -> if u mess with some parameters and phonemes he'll sound close enough to her, so it became a bit of running gag in the community, along with just being a genuine and novel use case for his voicebank. actually recently i found out about someone who made a couple of synthv scripts to set genbus voice to his falsetto pitch and set the tension to drop during each syllable automatically to make him sound like the utau sora amaha. genbu's purpose is to impersonate other vocal synthesizers
#i wasnt familiar with sora until i found that video. apparently she's voiced by lon? like that lon? like the utaite?#which is really neat! every day i find out about another utaite or seiyuu or someone who is involved with vocal synths in some fashion#im still reeling from anju inami providing the voice for a cevio bank! oh and the other day#i learned that the utaite kano was involved with the japanese version of luo tianyi#only to clear up some pronunciations - most of the bank is apparently the original provider. but its really interesting!#also jk jk genbu i love you. you are youre own vocal synth. you dont have to be her (teto). be yourself!!!!!!#i do love when people make teto and genbu have beef though. its so funny to me#tbh ive never been a teto user. shes not bad or anything i just never had any desire to use her utau bank. i keep her sv lite around tho#just in case i feel like making her bully genbu or something. bully that grown ass man#wait is she older or younger. i forgot how her fucked up chimera age worked again. oh well. whether ur 30 or 16 u can still bully him <3#its a family activity. fun for all ages! anyway yeah i was never much of a teto user. tbh i think its just because like#if i want to hear a teto cover someone else probably has already done it far better than i could even think to LOL#i like when other people use her! sasuke haraguchi's use of her in hitomania and igaku has been magnifique#but i think with vsynths i prefer to use voices i like that no one uses much LOL#gives me much more drive to make covers if i know im one of the few doing it HJKDSLJ#whenever i get tired to pitchbending fast syllables (my least favourite part LOL) i think to myself.... i must.... i must....#do it for him (genbu)..... hes not very popular since hes not the only male japanese voice anymore..... i must do it for HIM!!!!!!#(tunes one phoneme and explodes on impact)
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Sincerely as a former user of both Excel and sheets, it is nuts how much easier libre office calc is. Not in the typical way that certain things are easier to access but moreso that the formulas and ways things are set up just work with my brain better. I never really had much need to learn formulas in Excel because there were so many and the layout felt over complicated, and don't even get me started on sheets. But with calc, there's a lot more freedom with the formulas and a lot of the skills you have from either of those other programs carries on here. Not a super big point or anything to this post, just simply very appreciative of what calc can do.
#twist rambles#like. obviously i use it a lot to format data. and i was looking into how i wanted to compare two lists bc i need to see the duplicate#issues between them. I don't want to do that manually lol. and there are so many tactics that just work out there.#like. I think in some ways u do have to fight w calc a little bit. i did a school project where we had to do a timeline and where excel has#that feature built in. calc does not. i had to spend an hour familiarizing myself with the formulas and digging on old forums and that is#simply more enjoyable to me bc i walked away with much more knowledge of the program than ok click 2 buttons. i work w spreadsheets often#enough that familiarizing myself w the formulas and different tools honestly is more helpful than it being one of the billion menu options#plus libre is free and has a ton of manuals online. which is great. and it runs better on any machine than office#^ was just thinking about all of this bc i like. didnt have the desire to learn with other sheet programs but i do here. its rewarding
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Aeri can’t decide what she hates more - the way the bejeweled pin in the victor from District 8’s hair is lopsided, or the girl herself. Oh, what Aeri wouldn’t give to wear such an accessory again, or even wear the finery the victor has been gifted to wear to the viewing. That was her once, wasn’t it?
But now? She’s stuck here, watching this spectacle. The brat, who has no idea what privilege she’s been presented with, keeps on creasing the delicate threads of her gown and her stylists also clearly have no idea on how to do the brat’s makeup. And then there’s that damn pin- Aeri’s pin once upon a time- only in place because it’s tangled in there-
And Aeri can’t hold back. When the brat’s stylists are gone, she reaches into the girl’s hair and extracts the pin. Her fingers, callused from years of hard labor that still feels foreign to Aeri, are quick to untangle most of the obvious knots in the brat’s hair before shetwists the locks into a ponytail and then a bun. The pin goes back in.
Aeri glares at the girl through the mirror. Don’t you dare mess up my work.
( congrats lenlen!! you get....aeri, being really resentful, i hope marìa doesn't mind too much ^^' )
@stillresolved | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET HER BE RESENTFUL
---
There's a harshness to being dolled up when you are in no way receptive to it.
María isn't foreign to the roughness of life - she's a fucking Victor, after all, isn't she - she's started working in factories just about around the age even the most moral of District 8 people might turn their back in fear on seeing her walk in, pretending not seeing her would free them of the responsibility of working with a child.
Her hands and nose and palate and lungs had long gotten used and keep getting used to the aftermath of working with chemicals, of being so very intimate with garments and colours, with fumes and heat, with the hard work of surviving, with the hard work of fighting to be allowed a minimal chance at said survival, at figuring that there's little more for people from District 8 to fight for.
Still... it's not the same.
Being pushed around, dressed in things she would have never chosen for herself to serve a people, a man, because she's not stupid enough to not be able to tell what is Capitol and what is Snow and how Capitol is Snow, it's a kind of biting and harsh and rough that doesn't leave behind the usual kind of scars and memories and bruises.
Even surviving the Games had come with a desperately accepted sense of relief, one covered in blood and the humiliation of all she'd done and all she'd thought she'd get to accomplish, only for reality to crash in on her in a victory she hadn't wanted to partake in, hadn't wanted to make possible, when she'd wanted her Games to be victor-less in lieu of ending the Games themselves.
This... this is humiliation in the long run. This has hardly any hope attached to it, waiting for her on the other end of the line. Sometimes, on the worst days, it feels like the true brunt of the battle, walking with blood-stained soles and palms and sparkling as she does, wearing all that might make even the softest source of light appear like flames reflecting off her frame, covering her in fire that had not eaten her alive - much to a few people's disdain.
Picking at things, not holding still, grimacing, shifting her muscles, arms, face to make her stylists' life as difficult as possible, it was all she had to fight back.
The Arena came with death and violence, and living back at home had been physical labour upon physical labour, straining her young body until she could no longer tell if she was broken beyond repair or fitter than children her age should be - had they grown up privileged within the Capitol's safety.
Here she has only threads to tear apart and reflections to glare at.
And a new challenge behind every door.
She feels yanked back, an intensity of motion caused less by the avox suddenly in her hair and more her own stiffness that hadn't prepared her for submission to someone suddenly rearranging her.
After her stylists had left, she'd succumbed to the tension of not wanting to be there, without the added hard work of making sure everybody else does. Lost in her thought, somebody's hands suddenly returning on her had fortified, molten it into a newly forged blade, stiff and ready to strike, tensing everything within her and making a few fingers in her hair turn into a grappling hook tied to a moving mountain.
María is startled enough she can't remember how to glare.
A frown does accompany her widened eyes anyway, making her look... appalled, almost, an addition to her expression so unsuited to typically frightened features, youth tainted by the face of someone used to having to fight to stay alive.
It almost happens in a flash then. The reflection moves and adjusts and fixes and what had started as something that had María's lips split into something acid and trembling, turns into something unpleasant and acrid, but silent, as María sits and lets herself be mandhandled one more time.
That's when she glares. After the avox finishes up, after their eyes meet in the mirror and María sees none of the downturned gazes they're trying to make her accustomed to.
Seeing avoxes pisses her off.
Why take it out on them.
She understands what they are, what they're supposed to represent.
To her, an avox is a statement. No longer a person but rather someone rid of their innate right to be considered one. Even with the determination and life in this avox' eyes, María has come to understand them as tools Snow uses to assert his dominance, people from all circles of life, punished with the robbing of their words... and their detached tongue metaphorically forced to lick away at the tip of the shoes of people like María.
All a scheme.
Infighting.
Use the prey on the prey, make them take each other out.
It'd be easier to feel pity if María could sleep, if the avox hadn't adjusted her appearance, and if the avox wasn't staring her down as if she had any right to do so.
She's oddly beautiful.
She's oddly familiar.
"Why are you helping them?" she hisses, low, whispered, because she might never admit it, but she's... she's a little scared, isn't she? Lately? Devora's face swims before her inner eye, so stern, so wrong.
"I'm on your side more than they are," she adds, pulling a strand of her hair out of the freshly adjusted bun.
#stillresolved#the seeker;maria#the seeker;joan of arc;hunger games verse#CONGRATS INDEED I FEEL LIKE I WON A MAJOR AWARD HERE??? EXCUSE ME???????????????????? MX LISTEN-#EVEN IF MARIA WERE TO MIND I CAN'T FIND IT IN ME TO MIND THAT SHE'D MIND BECAUSE THIS IS MAJORLY EXCITING#NOBODY MOVE NOBODY MOVE NOBODY FRICKING MOVE I NEED TO FOCUS#not gonna lie Aeri's point of view here is so fking good it's so FRESH IT'S SO---#NOT TO BE HYPER-FOCUSED ON MY DESIRES FOR MARIA'S ARC AND HOW IT DEVELOPS BUT#THIS IS VERY GOOD SGKLSDLFJGHGLKHGFKL sorry I just...#if somebody were to force me to figure out ONE thing to like most about this depresso verse#if i was being held at gunpoint about it basically and forced to pick One Thing#it's gotta be how brilliantly different perspectives come together#Aeri Patrick Devora Taiyang Maria Hyuk LISTEN???? LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#getting an ask from Ferre from their new blog~ i'm holding my cheekies and blushing HEHEHEHEHE~#also how do you still always win at urls care u lots MWAH ♥ i need to get this into the queue ASAP#gosh it being Aeri's PIN GOSH CAN YOU TELL I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE ABOUT THIS IN ENTHUSIASM#gosh María will simply truly... do the most to assign everyone sides hm? MARIA WHAT ABOUT THE NUANCES--#i'm not quite sure what you and wonderful Lynnie have established but... if Aeri was well known as Deva's lover#do you think María might have seen her? in pr thingies? that would explain why she's familiar that's why i added that line~#IF NOT then she's familiar because the look in her eyes would remind her of Deva IT'LL STILL WORK >:3 i went witty >:3333#;queue
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#personal#another huge issue with being indifferent most of the time is that it wears you down#the longer it goes on the more i think its never going to change.#the more it feels like this is my permanent state of being.#and that is never true. i can switch when im with my friends. i am happiest with my partners#and to have no time to myself to be away from my family kinda breaks me#i feel a very familiar loneliness and desire to run. to leave. to go now.#little me.#i have to remind her that there is good in this still. the indifference annoyance and loneliness arent permanent#but its hard. its almost like she forgets everytime. some kind of.... ..... emotional amnesia.#that makes so much sense.#the coping mechanism i use to instantly forget the meltdowns. in return brings them back#one cycle for the books surely.#i just hope maybe one day. i wont feel so lonely with my family.#I remember when i thought it was the end all be all#the cycle is annoying#i just have to get through this.#im lonely.#dont talk to me about it. this is a personal problem.#im sleepy....
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