#one day one crisis at a time lmao
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#sasosaku#sasori#haruno sakura#naruto#my writing#hira writes naruto#fic: for now#omg i made it in time for my weekly update XDD#i'll be working 12 days in a row tho so. kinda doubtful about the next update being next weekend. but. we'll see.#one day one crisis at a time lmao
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do you ever think about how all you used to draw when you were 10 was ponies and that you should still know how to do that, then get an idea and proceed to draw something like these in nearly one sitting and it turns out better than any drawing you've done in the entire past month
sooo anyway does anyone have cutie mark or pony name ideas for them?? lol
#(the b girl lineups are older than a month because i procrastinated a lot on doing minor fixes. nothing i drew in the month of june 2024#is really worth showing it's all shitty doodles lmao)#bnha#class 1b#mlp#?#yui kodai#setsuna tokage#itsuka kendo#ibara shiozaki#(i love how she came out in particular! creature :3)#reiko yanagi#tikto's art#you may be wondering why pony of all people isn't here.#i did draw her! but i kind of ran out of steam so i ended up not really liking the result lol same for kinoko#anyway shoutout to elementary school me i was SO obsessed with mlp. brony stuff was one of the first things i used the internet for#and you know what. i wouldn't say it ruined me it was a pleasant experience#i just read what was basically a polish version of equestria daily and constantly checked the deviantart profile of one (1) specific artist#that i liked a lot#i did watch some weird speedpaints (yknow the horror ones) but i honestly dont remember being very bothered by them i just liked the art#i was just chilling there lurking and never actively participating due to being 10 and afraid of online strangers (good for me tbh)#i remember having an identity crisis though because can i really call myself a brony if i'm a little girl? the target audience of the show?#lmao anyway i would also draw ponies constantly and write oc fanfics (and the ocs were actually my irl friends ponified)#and i even had my own little g5 concept. good times good times#tag story time over god bless enjoy your day
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need to draw frequently again. need to make a video game. need to make MONEY. need to LIVE.
#i wish i wasnt so broke#it wouldnt make me feel like such shit about where my time goes#like i cant pay my fucking rent#i should be devoting more time to that#but im having such a crisis of faith about all of that#which is a whole vent in itself#my mind is all over the place these days#more than usual#really at a crossroads in my life#but 2024 has also been my gaming rennaisance#and that has been helping to keep me afloat#but now the fall has all these games coming out that i gotta shell out money for#like full ass 60 bucks#what the fuck#and also#if i gotta move back home in disgrace#i should be making the best of the time i have left here#and having more unique experiences in the city#but one of my job apps might save me#lmao imagine that#god#i dont even fucking know
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okay same anon from this morning I’m back from rereading chapter 1!!
I love that Regina is already repressing her attraction to Janis before she even gets hit by a bus lmao girlie never had a chance. I swear if she wouldn’t have had a redemption arc they still would’ve ended up hate fucking at a graduation party or something
She's been repressing that attraction since 6th grade lmao It'd be unrealistic if I didn't include any thirst from the very beginning
no but you're a genius,,they definitely would have hate fucked and it would've caused a cataclysmic spiral in both of them
#there'd be weird tension the whole year bc i think even without a redemption arc#cady would feel so bad about the bus that she still talks to the plastics and they'd end up sitting with Janis and Damian some days at lunc#regina and janis just silently glare the first few times but it evolves into little snippy fights#no one can tell if they're flirting or if they're moments away from killing each other#it comes to a head when Janis makes some comment at Regina's graduation party#Regina gets so pissed off she drags janis to her room#and the next morning they Cannot and Will Not look at each other#they avoid seeing each other for the whole summer#but when they do run into each other Janis blushes so hard she almost blacks out#and she does the Santana “I've got to gay...go. I've gotta go” bit#(Regina on the other hand is seconds away from dragging Janis into a closet.)#(she worked through her issues so fast bc she speedran her sexuality crisis by sleeping with Janis and it really cleared a lot up for her)#sorry for writing a tiny fic in these tags lmao#rejanis#UIW posting
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days without crying over them counter: 0
#rambles#delete later#like I actually am so fucking mad im SO MAD still#i need to move on but it’s like im stuck in that week#i don’t even think I have the words. i just feel so fucking betrayed. i feel insane#i hope they think of me and feel guilty. i hope they need advice and wonder what I would say#i hope they get HIT BY A CAR!!!!!!#i feel vaguely like I was preyed on. they admitted to trying to seduce me on purpose so I’d have sex with them#as an at-the-time-asexual virgin. and I was sooo flattered lol but now I’m just like. okay. what the fuck#they made me feel sooo loved and flattered and desired right up until they didn’t#and what was with the weird mixed signals. that was the reason I couldn’t move on from my crush#‘I don’t want anything right now’#okay then stop kissing my hand and cuddling me and calling me over to ask me unnecessary questions while you’re in the shower#stop mentioning how attractive I am and stop flirting with me#I’m killing myself what did I even mean to you was I just entertainment#like what did I even fucking mean I’m going insane#all I want to know is what I fucking was. yeah sure I was your ‘best friend’ who you had no issues with cutting off for no reason#i was your ‘best friend’ who you never texted first#what the hell WAS i#you came to me for advice and support and comfort so was I a therapist#that one night when I was crying and begging you not to leave me alone for the night#you promised me we’d call the next day#you hung up and we never called the next day. even though I asked twice#i bent over backward for you constantly and you couldn’t even be bothered to check in when I was having a fucking crisis like okay lmao#I’m gonna throw up I need to stop thinking and go to bed#and yet I still miss them so fucking much. so so so so much. i miss the affection. i miss being held. i miss their voice and smile#I’d let them mistreat me if it meant I got some kind of attention from them and that really makes me hate myself lol#maybe I’m just another creepy obsessed guy now#i FEEL obsessed. i feel insane. i feel disrespected and maltreated and also very very lonely#my face feels crusty from crying maybe it is bedtime
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DATING IS SO HARD WTF
#vent to follow in the tags lmao#like. what????#people!!! chill the fuck out!!#i had some dude unmatch with me bc i didn’t respond to him YESTERDAY#and like it’s not that big of a deal we’d only just matched but like?? patience is a fucking virtue?? and i have a life?#he was all like come back :((( then two minutes later he was like ok sorry for bothering you bye and then LEFT#like. fine if you do that but the message?? what??#anyway it came at a bad time bc. a bitch is already in crisis rn#cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i’ve been so busy i’ve not been able to#talk to them that much#and i was supposed to go on a trip with my friend but that’s been postponed (not her fault or mine)#and my car still won’t start. we tried to jump it today and it didn’t do anything#anyway i’m like rapid cycling through major emotions and it’s like mimi chill the fuck out#and listening to way too much phoebe bridgers i know the end#also i’m in crisis bc i’ve made up with like. my oldest friend who used to have a crush on me and when i told him i preferred girls he like#stopped talking to me for a while#that was years ago and now we’re slowly becoming friends again but i feel so much guilt over it for no reason#and i get into avoidant episodes as a coping mechanism and like. i feel like im going into one atp#okay okay vent over im okay lmaoo#sorry folks hope your days going better than mine <3#。・:*˚:✧。 mimi speaks!
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why do i feel weirdly guilty for taking a day off of work to have necessary surgery 🤡
#they said i could go back to work but i did that last time and it was a pain so i took the day off#and i did a bunch of errands and Accomplished Things instead of napping which is what i wanted to do#then finally sat down to watch a movie and eat and im like....feeling guilty for not being at work#insane#to be fair the hour before i left yesterday was crazyyyy bc we had a kind of crisis#ibstayed a half hour late bc there wasnt enough coverage due to the crisis and i did my coworker's clean up for her bc she literally left#without finishing it#bc she was freaking out#crisis is one of the kids had lice lol#anyway she left without finishing her cleanup even tho the owner of the school and our boss's boss dropped by#to let us know the health department was coming thennext day (today)#and she Went Home even tho there was literally cottage cheese all over the floor wtf#anyway i was watching the kids while my supervisor bagged up all the stuffed toys and sheets and blankets etc to wash#then i did my other co teachers cleanup while my supervisor tried to do afternoon diapers but she was so late starting only 4 kids were lef#out of like 8 or 10 that probably should have been changed#so half of them went home without a final diaper change lmao#anyway#bugs 😬#i got a lice treatment shampoo and leave in conditioner but yuck#anyway i just felt really bad bc im out and they always need people but also im out on the day we're getting a ladt minute health inspectio#and i know that classroom is gross bc the cleaning crew thats supposed to come in every night has definitely not been doing that#this has been a shitpost#anyway my eye surgery hurts so bad wah 😭#its not even supposed to hurt that much but im like wicked sensitive to the light or something that it hurts a lot even w eye shields#and nobody is babying meeee#my mom made me clean the kitchen and the barn when we got home :(#my brother is making gf cookies for me tho but not bc of the surgery he just wants to try baking gf for me in general bc he's nice#also he's making 61 cookies by accident instead of 18 bc he doubled the recipe and then realized it was a recipe forngiant cookies lmao
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i want to say I showed up at that Uriel v Castiel poll when it said “less than one minute remaining” but we did it
I WAS CELEBRATING AND THEN I SAW THE FINAL COUNT OF VOTES WAS 4949 AND I AM. HAUNTED. NO ESCAPE. MY OWN PERSONAL HARBINGER.
#for those who don't know#Bidokja Lore Time:#the number 49 has followed us around since we were like. A Kid#i see it at least once every day#with literally only a handful of exceptions in an entire year#i saw it like fIVE TIMES in one day just a couple of days ago. and then only once yesterday so i thought it was giving me a break#went allllll day today not seeing it#and then BOOM 2 hit combo instant KO#im refusing to acknowledge that there's another 49 involved in that poll since its a Percentage and i stopped counting those years ago#(plus its 49.8 not an even 49....i rEFUSE TO BE 3-HIT COMBO'D IT DOESN'T COUNT IT DOESNTTT)#anyways#now that you know. you can imagine the Crisis i went through during the last arc of ORV lmao#beso babbles
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hmm
feel like I've lost myself somewhere but not sure where and what to do about it
#shut up ray#its so annoying cos i have all these things ive wanted for so long#i should be happy and be able to do the things i want to do#but i dont want to do anything#i feel so much anxiety every day abt how few hrs i have to do all the things in#but then i just put everything off#because i cant get myself to do it#havent touched my guitar since i stopped the adhd meds#they were great at focusing me#but only for a few weeks then idk i started to feel wrong#like i wasn't myself anymore#but even after stopping i still feel kinda off?#rlly hoped my ongoing identity crisis wouldve stopped by now...#is this just what your 20s are??#ive heard ppl mention it lmao#just rlly feel like im lagging behind again#but this time i dont even know what im lagging in#ive achieved all the achievable life goals#i dont rlly have any other goals#i wonder if it hadnt been for the gender bullshit i couldve gotten this identity crisis over with earlier#perhaps in my teens when everyone else seemed to be figuring shit out??#but i just seemed to be delayed over and over again on the whole teen development years deal#ugh idk man#cant even keep hold of friends anymore#i think i have one#count em ONE#at this time. and i dont seem to be much of a priority anymore#i worry that i may have finally started succeeding in pushing even her away#someone who forced her way into my life back in 2011 and has refused to leave it#fucking hate this asocial shit ive inherited from my parents
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🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
JELLYFISH! READER X HAZBIN HOTEL
Prompt: A sea creature wants to bring light in hell. ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🪼⋆。˚
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚ you died while being an oceanographer. You studied the ocean for its plant and creatures. You drowned specifically while trying to push a jellyfish away from you. And honestly, you went to hell becoming a flowing beautiful jellyfish.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Charlie welcomed you with opened arms, she liked how beautiful you are. The way you flow in the air, you were eye catching and majestic
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚jellyfish! reader is a Mitski, grimes, and tv girl fan of music. I think it fits their vibe at how peaceful but dangerous they are with their stingers.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how your human form would look. Jellyfish hair cut with the colors of the blue from your og form with some pink and purple. Or like blue and light blue. You would be an actual main attraction to the hotel.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you probably did get mistaken to get sent to hell instead of Heaven. You were beautiful like a heaven angel, but you were in the depths of hell. Surprisingly the hotel was a safe haven for you.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚a beautiful creature like you gain the attention of many to the hotel. You could say that you are the main attraction. And Charlie doesn’t use you like that, but she does make you a resident to get into heaven.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vaggie finds you calming. You have this type of aura around you that just makes people relax. So your hotel room is specially designed to your liking. Which is a dark blue wall with a glowing blue that has ocean waves. It’s basically jellyfish’s en ocean designed. It’s just so magical.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you love floating around as keekee would follow you around. Then you would have the egg boiz following you plus fat nuggets. You just collected your own little band of little people.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚husk doesn’t know much about you in the hotel other than you are practically the princess/prince of the water in hotel. You make sure the water is okay as it’s your duty.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once had made water appear. You had guess you have water power based on you drowning. And using that power, you soaked husk who started to go crazy almost scratch angel dust in irritation. 
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Lucifer admires your colorful being. Like he may seem as if he doesn’t care about you. But he sorta does as he secretly makes you a jellyfish toy that lights up in the dark.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚alastor, he might as well try to see what you are. He still senses a human soul in which makes him want to get your soul. A human souls is rare than a disgusting sinner’s soul. But you sting him every time he tries to even get close.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you once accidentally stung Alastor with your stingers. He oddly didn’t lash out at you, but rather just walked away. He was trying to hold on the stinging pain you gave him.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sir Pentious found you alluring even. Frank and the rest of the egg boiz agree. Frank once called you mom/dad since you were singing him a lullaby.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚imagine how crazy you can be. Like one day you are the calming person every one loves and knows in the hotel. And next thing people know is that you are stinging people just because they breathed the wrong way around you.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚luckily you are a passive aggressive person sometimes. Or else you would be frying people like bacon. EXTRA CRISY‼️
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚angel dust dead ass thinks you should have a cute blue ocean crown or necklace. Maybe even a cute blue with purple star car. Bro he’s thinking of so much ways to make you girly pop.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚you could’ve had shocked angels, and I mean literally cause if it was the battle between hell and heaven. You would win lmao. Cause what if you shocked then hoes into an angel kebab
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on how your stingers is as powerful like the jellyfishes in SpongeBob. You area full electric chair.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚vox had a whole board about who tf were you. Legit was giving crazy science man vibes cause how tf is a jellyfish in hell?! You don’t even look demon! You dead ass don’t fit the hell palette. As he is making theories, Valentino and Velvette just stare at each other like “wtf is this?”
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚now say you did went to heaven. Everything would probably be different, but you are something no one had seen before. A jelly fish angel? Yeah that seems unique.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Heaven would admire your original look. Your calming energy makes most of heaven better. Like say for example the angels complement each other with the light of your energy and how your energy flows. You basically have a pheromone, but it’s for positivity to be spread. #bethereasonsomeonesmiles LMAO
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Adam probably makes fun of how you are such a small sea thing creature. But then he switches up when you turn into your human form and start to sting his ass every time he tries to offend you. Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚sera would possibly have you as a cherub cause of your small jellyfish form. It only makes sense for you to be one as you are so adorable.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚Emily adores you. She knows you don’t mean any harm towards her with your stingers. She’s the type of person who makes you a flower crown cause she loves it be creative around people she likes. Honestly 10/10 friendship honestly.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚lute probably doesn’t care about you much. Other than your stingers are damn annoying. She just wants to rip them out, but you are is kind and sweet. So you have her vote to stay in heaven with her.
𖦹 * 🪼 ₊˚headcannon on you just humming a soft lullaby as you swim in the air, your blue soft glow in the dark makes anyone go to sleep. The blue is pretty alluring.
A/N: I tried a different writing style with the “bullet points” I hope you guys like this lol and sorry if it seems lazy.✨ inspired by: @selvyyr <3
#jellyfish#jellyfish aesthetic#jellyfish x hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x jellyfish#hazbin hotel x jellyfish! reader#jellyfish! reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin headcanons#hazbin hotel adam x reader#hazbin vaggie#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel alastor#hazbin hotel headcanon#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin vox#hazbin charlie#hazbin hotel x platonic!reader#hazbin hotel imagine#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel x child reader#hazbin hotel x male reader#hazbin hotel x female reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#lute#hazbin hotel lute#adam x lute#hazbin lute#lute x reader#hazbin lucifer
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haikyuu airport headcanons bc im in an airport. no particular order. shipping involved.
- Daichi has never missed a flight and somehow everyone manages to make fun of him for this. never forgets to pack anything. always finds his gate on time. "lmao loser," Suga says, missing 2 bags and lost as fuck across the airport. he will not make his flight.
- Hinata and Kageyama navigating an airport is nearly a crisis. They can never agree on the right way to go and especially during layovers will often end up outside of security. The first time they travel with Tsukki + Yama as a group it's like a goddamn miracle because they dont need to rush and everything goes smoothly.
- on that topic, Tsukki and Yamaguchi have travel down to a science. these bitches have checklists and schedules and just get in and out. Tsukki keeps the boarding passes and Yamaguchi counts the bags and they split snacks on the plane and just nail the whole affair
- Noya and Asahi are the most experienced travelers and have been to so many airports and you'd think this makes them good at airports and it does not
- Ushijima has never gotten through security without being searched.
- Oikawa likes airports an unreasonable amount. Bitch thrives in liminal spaces. "Lets go check out which stores are open," he says, as Iwaizumi begs him to let him sit down and nap during their layover
- Kenma has airport anxiety. "We're going to miss our flight. What if our gate changes?" What if there's a delay?" He does not like putting his schedule into the hands of an Airline. Rightfully so, he loses his luggage an obscene amount.
- Kageyama and Hinata fighting and causing a ruckus in the airport and security has to come over to talk to them
- Tendou and Ushijima are generally really prepared and on top of things, but they just seem to have the worst luck. They got stranded at an airport during a layover for like 14 hours and went through every stage of grief. It doesnt help that Ushijima is really practical and good at accepting circumstances ("I'll just sit here and wait") but Tendou is highly emotional ("I'm going to eat the next airline associate that tries to talk to me.")
- Daichi is often seen standing alone in airports. This is because no matter who he's traveling with, he's probably waiting for them to catch up.
- Aran thought he was a good and functional adult until he saw Kita's itinerary for their travel plans and how neurotic he was about making sure everything on time. Kita will pre-measure and weigh all luggage to know exactly whats going on. Looking at airport layouts days before to memorize what needs to be done.
- Atsumu and Osamu have never made a flight on time. The best they can hope for is sprinting across the airport at full-tilt. This is a common occurance.
- Oikawa makes friends wherever he goes so he doesnt mind long layovers, he'll just sit and chat with whoever is around to pass the time, but one time he did leave with a group to check out a store without saying anything and Iwaizumi was lost for 30 minutes
- Asahi has so much anxiety with airports. Too many people. Too many deadlines. Bad vibes. One time a guy in an airport gave him incorrect directions to a gate and he missed his flight and he has never recovered.
- Kuroo "Yeah we have tons of time" Tetsurou is a menace to airport staff and has never budgeted enough time.
- Tsukki is a master at packing efficiently and this is exclusively due to wanting to avoid others complaining. He can pull basically anything out of his carry-on to prevent whining on a 5 hour flight. Yamaguchi uses him like a vending machine.
- Daichi once got mistaken for an airline worker and ended up with a whole group of people he was helping find their gates
- Bokuto loves traveling and flying. He finds it so fun and exciting. This is probably why Akaashi hates traveling and flying.
- Suga secretly likes layovers because he secretly hates planes and cannot stand sitting still for that long. He always pretends it such a hassle to have to wait but its the best part of the travel day when he gets to buy himself a muffin and bother Daichi for entertainment.
- Ushijima, Daichi, Kenma, and Asahi are all team "No PDA in an Airport!!!!!" whereas Tendou, Suga, Kuroo and Noya are all team "We have 2 hours to kill let me make out with you!!!!"
- Yamaguchi has sooooooo many reward points. Tsukishima doesnt even know what he's doing to get them, he's just a master of good deals and specials.
- Mile High Club Members: Iwaoi, Bokuaka, Ushiten, and Asanoya
- Wannabe Mile High Club Members who cannot convince their boyfriends it'll be okay: Suga
- Wannabe Mile High Club Members that will NOT admit they think about it: Yamaguchi, Hinata, Kageyama, Aran
... well im boarding soon so thanks for reading ig
#i like airports tbh#haikyuu#haikyuu ships#haikyuu memes#daisuga#ushiten#iwaoi#tsukkiyama#kagehina#bokuaka#asanoya
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i was made for lovin' you (PSH x reader)
part of the love's an uncharted path universe ★.
SUMMARY:
In an attempt to grasp at his youth, Seonghwa buys a motorcycle despite not knowing the first thing about them. When it inevitably breaks down, he has no other option that to ride it to a mechanic shop and, after following a sweet hum, he’s faced with the life-changing (and predictable) fact that, maybe, what he needed after all was not a motorcycle. Maybe, just maybe, what he needed was you.
PAIRING: new bike owner!seonghwa x afab mechanic!reader.
GENRE: strangers to lovers.
WORD COUNT: 20k.
WARNINGS: SMUT ☽ (MINORS DNI) attempt !!! at comedy, dual pov (both seonghwa's and reader's), wooyoung being a little shit for the umpteenth time + jongho, yeosang AND hongjoong (omg), that feeling you get when your youth is ending, midlife crisis! (or so yunho says), a loooot of work related/motorcycle plot, flirting, seonghwa losing his rizz, reader is adopted so that may count as a trigger warning for some of you, shitty exes, crying a bit but not really, pet and nicknames (ghost, dear), they almost get caught in a thunderstorm, lots of tension, making out, oral ( f & m reciving ), descriptions of the female anatomy, floor AND protected sex ( wrap it up pls ), the ending leads straight up to the next story on this universe so be aware of that.
NOTES: hello everyone! after almost a month in the making, here you have it! THIS IS PART OF THE SHOW AND TELL UNIVERSE but can be read as a stand alone, although there's some characters and scenarios you can understand better if you read the last three parts (you can find them in my masterlist). this really didn't need to be so lenghty but it turned out that way for some reason (i'm the mayor of yap town). this is 100% self indulgent, as all fics should be, and i think i've re-read it so many times that if you find a typo or something that just doesn't make sense, you can blame it on english not being my first language i guess lmao. i hope you enjoy it and if you do feel free to send to my askbox/reblog/type in any feedback or thoughts! <3
POSTED: september 02 2024.
permanent taglist: @hotteokkay, @potatomountain, @fairylover68, @e3ellie, @alsomimi
masterlist.
Seonghwa is proud to be the type of person who can just tell what's going on after assessing a situation for a few seconds.
His intuition is something he can rely on and he almost never misses the mark when he makes predictions that he doesn't share with anyone else in case it brings anyone down.
As he watches San kissing his girlfriend's cheek and then stare at her like a lovestruck idiot, his mouth quirks up a bit and he quickly hides it behind the soda can he's been nursing for the past couple of minutes.
He's happy it finally happened.
He's also a little butthurt that he didn't get the chance to fully get to know her first.
They've been together for a few months now, maybe four if he recalls correctly. Back then, he danced with her at Wooyoung's and San’s apartment like he didn't know one of his closest friends had been in love with her since they both were in highschool.
He didn't tell anyone, but a part of him did it to see if it would prompt a reaction. And, from what he was told by Wooyoung, it did.
She is his type of person, though. And when he texted her a few days later and she sent in a non-detailed voice note briefly explaining what went down after they all left the party and she stayed behind to help her drunk best friend, he told her he understood and that he kind of already knew.
Or at least, he expected it.
He also explained to San that, although his intentions with his girlfriend (before she was his girlfriend) were mostly genuine, he’s obviously not in love with her.
After all, they only met that one time and now, back in San and Woo’s shared apartment for what feels like an overdue reunion after months of busy schedules and adult life, he can assure them both with a nod and smile that he is, indeed, happy for them.
He treasures admiration for those who are able to find love in this modern age, anyway.
Now there's two couples in the group. Seonghwa has never been the type of guy who chases relationships and has a goal set on when and how to get married. He simply exists and welcomes the opportunities life gives him as they come.
That's how he got his job at Room for More. His professor gave him a recommendation letter after finishing the last presentation of his career and suggested he try his luck at his colleague’s company.
And now he's actually doing what he studied to do and he's loving it. Working in interior design and fighting minimalism while he's at it?
Incredible. Life could not be better.
Kind of.
As rare as those types of opportunities are, he truly believes it is way easier to find a niche profession people are actually comfortable with than it is to find love in modern society.
Life might give you your dream job out of nowhere, but it can also take away the opportunity of finding a partner you can celebrate your success with.
He never even told his friends when he got the job. Only Hongjoong, who then passed on the word to the rest of the group and, after they all congratulated him for it, they quickly moved on to their thesis and focused on not letting their last year of university eat them up while they were at it.
Except for Jongho, he very much had a few months left to ignore the unavoidable adulthood period he was about to suddenly enter his senior year. The rest of them, minus Hongjoong, had the right to grasp as much as they could of the freedom of only being weighed down by exams and not by other obligations like rent and bills.
Wooyoung and San’s lease is being paid by their parents, so they don't really count.
And Hongjoong lives with his bandmates in a little apartment above the rehearsal space provided by a lovely grandma who treats them all like they are her sons, so he doesn't really count either.
Seonghwa feels like, in the span of a year, he took a whole step forward while everyone else is still enjoying their youth. Now, he has presentations and meetings with clients he needs to worry about.
Love is not his top priority, not that it ever was, but now it barely crosses his mind.
He just wants to stay cool and young for a few more years before giving in completely into feeling like an adult.
So, naturally, what's the first idea that popped in his mind a few weeks ago when thinking about the inescapable passage of time?
That he should definitely be a little more irresponsible with his finances. Why not? He's in the perfect period of his life where he's allowed to make a mistake without the fear of eternal judgment by a superior being.
The superior being happens to be his mother, of course. Who else would it be? The woman could make a God shake in their shiny boots and silence them with a single scowl.
She's all the way back in his hometown, though and she's really rooting for him to make it big in the city.
Surely, she wouldn't mind if he bought a motorcycle to help him commute faster to his appointments, right?
Well, he's about to find out any day now.
Looking out of the window that looks to the street, Seonghwa can see his new acquisition parked and sparkling under the streetlamp and the smile that it brings to his lips it's big enough for Yunho to bump him with his hip and lean against the window sill as well.
“Who's making you smile like that?” he asks, looking away from Seonghwa and following his line of sight till it reaches the beautiful Bonneville he just got on a great deal with a guy who wanted to get rid of it.
The auction post said that it was because it looked too vintage and the owner wanted to upgrade to something more ‘modern looking’.
A fool, he thought.
Because to him, this bike checks all his marks: it is modern enough that in case he needed to get any parts for it, it wouldn't make him lose his mind in the process. But also, it has that vintage, nostalgic, old film feel and look to it that is just right up his alley.
He loves it.
Huh, maybe he did find true love after all.
And after breaking open his savings, Seonghwa managed to get a hold of it without financially ruining himself. Only a bit.
He didn't tell any of his friends about it, maybe that's why Yunho whistles after he checks it out.
“Now who's riding that baby?”
“Me,” Seonghwa smiles, turning to his friend who, as the response dawns on him, drops his jaw and lets out an amused chuckle “What? That's my bike!”
“Are you being serious?”
“Why would I lie to you?” He returns, softly.
A bit passes and then Yunho turns to everyone else scattered around the living room.
“Guys, Seonghwa is having an early mid-life crisis and bought a motorcycle!”
Yeosang gasps “Ain't no way…”
“Hwa? A motorcycle?” Wooyoung hollers, louder than everyone else “What's next? Tattoos?!”
Oh, for the love of God.
Maybe there's a reason he didn't tell anyone until now. Everyone gathers around the window to look at it like children at a zoo and he takes a step back, sitting on the arm on the couch, a subtle smile on his lips.
The only person that turns to him is San’s girlfriend, smiling proudly like he just won the lottery or something.
Damn, she really is his type.
“Are you happy?” She asks and it tugs at his lonely heart strings like crazy.
He pushes through, nodding and shrugging a bit, dismissing his feelings for the final time. It's not really her, he reminds himself. It's the thought of having someone in his life that treats him the way she treats San.
“Sure am,” he murmurs “My bank account? Not so much.”
She laughs and Jongho turns to him at that “Are you an old man with debts now? Noooo,” he pouts “Who am I going to ask for bail money now?”
Gyuri, Wooyoung's ex-girlfriend who somehow manages to stay friends with him, scoffs “You've never been to jail, kid.”
“But he's the first person on my emergency contact list for that!”
And just like that, they all pull away from the window and back into their seats to discuss the reasons why Jongho would end up behind bars.
Being annoying seems to be winning.
Seonghwa is glad to take the attention off of him. This way, he can't be caught staring at the way Mingi’s girlfriend sits on his lap and nuzzles her nose against her boyfriend’s neck. This way, the sigh he lets out when he catches San whispering sweet things into his girl’s ear gets lost amidst pointless banter and giggling.
He shouldn't feel envious.
But somehow he ended up wearing a green short-sleeve today, so it checks out.
“Important client. Wants to renovate their whole space, his apartment and his office.”
His boss is excited. It makes him smile as he stares at her with his hands behind his back, like he usually does when he receives instructions.
“He loved your work, I showed him the photo studio you helped with last month and requested you specifically. He said that he feels trapped in a box every time he gets to work and everytime he returns home, so… He wants you to lead the project,” she smiles, tapping her manicured nails against her desk and cocking her head to the side “Congratulations, kid, you got your first big commission coming.”
“Thank you so much,” he bows, his body bending out of pure gratefulness and instinct “I'll make sure to run everything by you accordingly, boss.”
“Well, I'm expecting a report in two days.”
“Two days?”
“Mhm. He wants to meet with you this afternoon… In four hours, exactly. I already sent you an email with the details,” she gets up from her desk, extending her hand towards him and he rushes to shake it “You're doing the initial assessment today, alone. Everyone else has something going on.”
Fuck.
“Of course,” he's worried and anxious, but he makes sure none of it shows as he gives her hand a firmer shake before letting it go “I'll do my initial research in the meantime, then.”
She nods and dismisses him with her hand.
He stresses the whole time he looks up the name and company of this new client. It seems like a serious business, not the kind that wants to reject minimalism especially when the nation's professional aesthetic runs on it.
It’s a modern tech silicon valley run by, what he's able to gather, a very rich family his new client is part of. There's a picture of them, smiling at an event, looking like the nightmare of working class people.
He tends to keep his opinions on chaebol’s at bay (Yunho is his friend and he’s rich, so he can't really voice what he thinks so freely anyway) but the fact that they contacted his company, an interior design business with barely any recognition amongst their competitors, is both surprising and concerning.
He clicks an article where his new client is featured. He's the heir of his family's empire, a tech savvy himself and he can tell, from the way they framed his answers, that he is well media-trained.
Seonghwa has no name for himself. Why would he request him? He's not so sure the ambiance he helped to create in a mere photo studio is what is granting him this opportunity.
His intuition is telling him, as he clicks for his initial research to print, that there must be an ulterior motive.
But he's going to embrace the chance of securing his rent money either way.
He just hopes his hair is presentable enough when he gets there. The helmet he bought is really not helping, the wind that somehow gets into it as he cruises through the streets doesn't help either.
Wanna know what else adds up to his problems today? The engine sounds weird.
It sounds fucking weird.
At a red light, Seonghwa lifts up his visor and tries to figure out what the hell is going on as much as he can.
He's too green for this. Too new to this world.
Would his mother scold him if she finds out he lied about doing a thorough research about the bike world before investing in one?
He looks at his watch. He has time to spare, an hour and a half before the meeting takes place.
Before he can fully make a decision, his body weight is making him turn into a street he doesn't know that well. But he's sure he saw a repair shop on the way to work today.
Or was it just a body shop? Maybe he imagined it and the sudden panic he feels rising and darkening his cheeks under the visor is convincing him he's right.
When he sees the floatable mascot waving in the wind, he lets out a sigh of relief.
Pulling up, he sees a few cars with their hood open and a few new, modern bikes to the side, so he parks a few meters from them and when he turns off the engine and gets down from his -apparently- damaged new acquisition, he feels like he can finally breathe.
No, scratch that, he takes his helmet off and then he's able to breathe.
When he scans the place, there's not a soul in sight.
Until he hears someone humming. It's a song he heard before, he can't quite put it together by the melody but it sounds like something he used to enjoy when he entertained the idea of joining Hongjoong's band all the way back in first semester of college.
Something with heavy guitars, which kind of fits the place’s vibe. Looking around, he swears to himself he's trying to find the source of the humming.
After all, he doesn't have much time to take in the place.
But he does anyway.
When he steps deeper into the shop, he feels like he's been teletransported into a decade he never got to experience, into a culture that is not his to experience in the first place.
It's like a Sons of Anarchy set, something he would see in an indie two thousands movie, maybe. There's a lot of stuff laying around, an organized chaos he guesses he can attribute to the nature of this kind of job.
But there's also a lot on the walls, aside from the usual tools hanging from it that look worn out there's posters and the Harley Davidson logo plastered at least five times in shirts, hats and jacket applique patches.
He thinks the walls can be painted a new, muted color instead of the sort-of bright blue and beige they have going on.
Focus. What the hell.
Shaking his head, he follows the sound of the voice until he reaches the back of the shop. There's what it looks like an office, maybe a reception? With a door that's wide open and seems to lead to a storage he doesn't need to get in to.
There, on her knees, he sees the source of the sound: A girl.
A beautiful, beautiful girl.
With her hair out of her face and overalls that seem too loose on her frame.
Is his heart okay? It feels like it stopped beating.
And then the beating comes back in full blast, goosebumps on his skin reminding him to speak up. Clearing his throat softly, he does.
“Hello?”
“Oh, shit,” she drops whatever she's working on, stops writing something down on a notebook that looks like it's about to run out of space “You fucking scared me!”
“I can… see that. I'm sorry.”
“Did you float all the way down here? Fucking Christ,” she mumbles something under her breath, getting up from her position and leaning into the desk in a way Seonghwa will probably remember forever. He gulps “What can I help you with, Ghost?”
She's breathtakingly beautiful and he, who's usually smooth with words and random interactions, stammers out his response “H-hey, yes I… I'm Park Seonghwa,” he starts, smiling a bit “I was hoping there was someone here who can help me with my bike?”
She looks around and he assumes she's looking for someone until he sees the corner of her lip curving up a bit “As I said, what can I help you with?”
Did he already fuck this whole thing up?
“Oh! I wasn't suggesting that you couldn't— I mean that's not what I…” her smirks widens, he suddenly remembers he's running out of time so he gets it together “I just bought a motorcycle and I'm sure the engine is not supposed to sound the way it's sounding so I thought I could use someone taking a look?” He gets out as fast as he can and the stranger claps her hands in a way that makes him take a step back.
She intimidates him. Just a little bit.
“First time owner?” She asks but he's sure she already knows.
Chuckling nervously, Seonghwa nods “What gave it away?”
“Your gear,” she simply states, getting out from behind the desk and into the garage space, moving swiftly through it like she owns the place. Damn, does she own the place? “You're barely wearing any. I get it, it's stuffy,” she turns over her shoulder to smile at him “It'll grow on you.”
“More like I'll get used to it, I feel like.”
“Yeah,” she rounds a car, tapping the hood of it and taking a pause as she scans the front of the place “That's what I said.”
That's definitely not what she said.
He's not sure if she's being rude or merely sarcastic, but he shouldn't be enjoying it the way he is. What drags him out of it is the way laughs when she sees his bike “This one?”
Concerning. Danger. Why is she laughing?!
“Y-yeah.”
“I don't get to see this type of bike often. Damn, she's beautiful.”
He smiles, taking down his worries a notch “Yeah, I got a great deal for it. The guy said he wanted something like that instead,” he points at the one right next to his “Said he wanted something that looked out of Terminator. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they used a Harley Davidson for the movies.”
“I'm guessing he meant Robocop?”
“Maybe.”
“What an idiot,” she sighs, inspecting his bike closely “Not you, Park Seonghwa, the guy who sold you this. Key.”
Key? Oh, right, the key. He tosses it to her and she catches it with expertise.
“Well, thanks for clarifying that.”
She laughs again, taking his helmet that's resting on the seat and putting it down on the floor as she straddles the bike “You're welcome,” she starts it, revs the engine a few times and then grimaces in a way that makes Seonghwa’s heart drop to his ass “Okay, Ghost, please tell me you have time to spare today.”
“I actually don't,” he takes a few steps, worried frown on his face that prompts another sigh from her “I have a very, very important appointment in…” he checks his watch “In an hour that I really, really need to get to and— Is it that bad?”
“No! No, not at all, I'm just better with cars than with bikes but, uhm… My brother is coming back in around fifteen minutes?” She offers and with the scowl on his face, she seems to backtrack “Listen, Park Seonghwa, why don't you leave your number with me and we can get this fixed by the end of the day. You can come by to pick it up or we can drop it to you early, tomorrow.”
“Would you? Oh, my God,” he lets out another nervous laugh “That would be amazing, actually.”
“Yeah, it's probably just the chain tensioner that needs an adjustment. Nothing's wrong with the engine as far as I can tell but that's why I want the guy who specializes in this type of thing to check it out.”
“Your brother.”
“Exactly,” she nods, turning it off and getting off as quickly and if Seonghwa was a little less concerned that he might've waisted his money on an expensive motorcycle, he would've noticed the proximity and the way she looks him over with a curious glint on her eye “So, Park Seonghwa, what's your number?”
She takes a step to the side and offers him her phone after unlocking it. He reacts to that.
“Oh, yeah, sure.”
He doesn't notice the big smile she offers him either. He doesn't have time. He enters the digits fast and checks over them two times before saving the contact information and returning the phone.
Checking his watch once again, he curses under his breath and looks at his baby with desperation, begging, praying that he doesn't have to spend a fortune on it.
“I really have to go.”
“I can see that,” she returns his words from before, smiling and leaning to rest her weight on the hood of the car she tapped earlier “Good luck with your, uh…” she looks him over one more than and this time he notices it, blushing like a teenager for some reason because of it “Business meeting?”
The crossbody bag he's wearing probably gave him away, huh?
“Yeah, yes. Thank you so much for all your help… Ian?” He reads the nametag on her overall and immediately thinks it is an unconventional name for a girl, but doesn't add anything about it “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
“I get it, you're grateful, now leave.” He catches on that she's pretending like his presence bothers her so he can hurry, which he's actually grateful for.
It occurs to him that he could stare at her forever like an idiot if she didn't.
“Okay, bye. Please tell me if I have to, uh, rob a bank or something to cover the cost.”
She laughs again and it sounds pretty this time.
What the fuck.
“Sure,” she nods and he takes a few steps backwards until he's about to turn and then he hears her voice again, so he doesn't but he keeps walking “It's Y/N, by the way.”
“Huh?”
“My name is Y/N, Ian is my brother.”
His heart beats loudly and he can't help but smile as wide as he possibly can “Ah, that makes more sense.”
“Goodbye, Park Seonghwa!”
He finally turns and then screams back “Goodbye, Y/N!” as he's hurrying to raise his hand and call on a taxi who just passed the entrance like divine intervention, placed perfectly just for him.
He misses the sudden blush on your cheeks because he's already in the cab by the time you reach the garage’s door to glance at the beautiful man one last time.
Seonghwa is right on time. With a few minutes to spare, actually.
The building looks even more modernized than in pictures. He can even see some workers remodeling an office he passes on the way to the… third? Main desk he has to go to.
It's a very big company and he can see the silicon valley aspect of it all once he notices the few different uniforms everyone is wearing. It seems like the building is one big, creative space and he likes it, but it does feel a little cold in a sense.
“I'm looking for Mr. Kim? I have an appointment in… five minutes with him, I was sent from—”
“Room for More. Park Seonghwa is here.” The lady at the reception doesn't spare him a glance as she talks through her headset and he has to blink a few times, bowing briefly when she points towards the elevator to his right “Floor sixteen, the only big office on the floor.”
“Thank you—”
“Next!”
Turning back, he sees there's some people lined up behind him and he quickly moves out of the way and towards the elevator that drops him, two minutes later, into the sixteenth floor.
As he walks towards the big doors at the end of the hall, he feels so out of place his armpits start sweating even though it is a cold day and the heating is barely on.
There's a few cubicles, glass separating them from the hall and, in consequence, forcing him to glance a few times out of curiosity. The uniforms and creativity that he saw downstairs is lost and all he can see is the nightmare he had once, when he thought he would end up working in a similar space: men in suits and women in pencil skirts typing away and printing reports he is never going to understand.
Maybe that's why he's a bit surprised when he gets to Mr. Kim’s office and he's waiting by the door with a kind of ironed three piece suit and a few hairs out of place, toothy grin and open arms.
“Mr. Park Seonghwa, thank you so much for taking the job!”
He moves in to give him a brief hug he doesn't really get to reciprocate before he's moving away and into his office.
“It's, um, a pleasure,” he stammers out, following him “Thank you so much for the opportunity, Mr. Kim— Wow.”
“I know, I know,” his client sighs as he takes a box and throws it to the side of his desk. The space is a mess and both of them grimace at the sound of something breaking inside the cardboard “This is why I recruited you. I tried to do something myself and ended up with… Whatever this is.”
Looking around, Seonghwa is able to see what he means. The walls are mismatched and there's an unfinished design on the one to his left. Someone started painting a tree and gave up after sketching out a few branches.
“And please call me Soohyun. Everyone here already calls me Mr. Kim and it makes me feel like my father,” he adds, sitting down on his desk chair and pointing to the one in front of it “That's my sister’s work. She tried to help me but broke one of her nails trying to get the cap off a painting tube so… She left me with this mess.”
Seonghwa smiles, sitting down in front of him and getting his sketchbook out of his bag. Seemingly excited, his client rests his arms on the desk and grins at him, expectantly.
He seems a little childish, not like the guy he studied earlier today. He looks younger than what he actually is like this, in a space that mimics what Seonghwa picks up like impatience and boredom, maybe the desire of breaking free of a corporate jail.
Now, he understands why he contacted Room for More.
“So, Soohyun… What do you want me to do for this space?”
He spends the rest of the day in the middle of the mess, getting to know Soohyun’s vision and learning about the company as he helps to pile up the boxes laying around and drawing different ideas down. When he tries to talk about a possible budget, the man silences him and tells him not to worry about it.
The pretty girl he met earlier crosses his mind one time, when Soohyun asks him if he can stay later than anticipated to give him an excuse to get out of what he says it's about to be a very boring and pointless meeting.
Her image, your image makes him smile and he wonders, for a second, what the hell are you doing with his bike.
And if he gets to see you again.
Your brother comes back like a whole two hours later, so you're grateful you didn't push your new client to waste fifteen minutes of his, apparently, very busy day.
“He said he got a great deal for it?” you nod “This one is not even that old, I'm sure they still make them!”
You shrug and your brother sighs.
“Maybe he got scammed.”
“I didn't ask but I think it started making that noise today because he seemed… alarmed,” you tell him and Christian pushes his hair back before taking the key out of your open palm “He didn't stay because he had a business appointment or something. He looked very laid-back, though, not rich at all, so don't you dare overcharge him for this.”
“Oh, so you liked him.”
Rolling your eyes, you turn to open the hood of the car you're supposed to be working on instead of giving away information he should've listened to if he didn't tend to walk out mid-shift “Yeah, we're actually getting married next week.”
“Well, that means I can dispute getting the whole garage once dad goes away.”
You let out a groan but you smile a little as you try and remember where you left off last night.
“The only way he can go away is if he's dead, Christian,” you remind him “And he's going to outlive both of us.”
“Of course he is.”
You're not sure if your dad has a will at all. You're not his real children after all, so If he does you're not sure you're included either.
It's not hard to tell you're adopted, but you've known Christian since before it was decided you two would share a family and even a last name.
You grew up together, the adoption home treated both of you decently enough so you two never struggled as much but the children your age were a different story entirely. They used to tug at your hair and push you to the ground during group activities and the only one who was brave enough to make them stop was Christian.
So, when your dad showed up at the adoption home and picked him out of the hundred children, he told him he didn't want to go anywhere without you.
Sure enough, your dad took one look at your frightened little face, hiding behind Christian like a coward, and filled out the paperwork twenty minutes later.
You remember gaping at the director, waiting for him to do something about this six feet tattooed guy in his late thirties wanting to take you both away from the only home you ever knew, but you're grateful the system didn't give two craps about children back in the day.
Not that it gives a crap about them now, but at least they're a little more careful with just handing out kids like that.
Because it could've gone terribly wrong. You were sure, at eight years old, your hand grasping the seatbelt on the back seat of your new dad’s car, that it was about to go terribly wrong.
But he turned out to be nothing but a kind, hardworking (with an amazing credit score, no criminal record and steady income), widowed man who was looking to fulfill his late wife’s dreams of having a family and someone to leave their business to.
After all, she was the one who built the shop from the ground up. You desperately needed to know more of her and your dad made sure to let you know how amazing she was in every aspect.
She became someone you looked up to, even if you never really knew her, maybe that's why you ended up working at the shop as well.
And yet, you still don't think it belongs to you. Ian is the one your dad wanted to begin with, you're just an added bonus.
You're not sure you want it, either.
But there's not much you know outside of it. Your time in school was great, no one bullied you anymore and the tough skin you developed out of nowhere cushioned the typical jokes that kids and teenagers are apparently programmed to make.
You never made fun of anyone with ill intentions, so you're not sure how true that statement is.
Either way, you kind of know where they were coming from. You weren't particularly exceptional at any subject but you never got in trouble for anything either, so you just kind of floated in everyone's orbit until you graduated, never belonging to any specific group of people or participating on any extracurriculars to help you maintain your barely there friendships after graduation.
This shop is truly all you got. And the family that comes with it, of course.
Your dad coughing in the back and the sound reaching your ears even when the sound of Park Seonghwa's damaged motorcycle is right next to you, reminds you that spending every second of your teenage years and early adult life learning all you could about how to fix a car was worth it.
“Fucking chain tensioners.”
Smiling, you turn your head to your brother and he's already working on it “So it was the chain tensioner?”
“Yeah,” he wipes the sweat off his forehead “it's always the fucking chain tensioner with these things.”
You don't tell him you already knew that.
“So you could get it fixed today?”
“Yeah, yeah. He said he's coming back tonight?”
“Oh, I kind of suggested dropping it off tomorrow so I'm not sure…”
“Y/N!” he scolds immediately and all you can give him in return is an innocent smile “I'm not dropping off shit tomorrow.”
Turning back to the car, your smile grows into a cheeky one.
“I never said you would do it.”
He scoffs “If this is your way of flirting with people, I can see why you never got far with anyone befo— What the fuck?”
Jaw slack, holding the greasy towel you sent flying into his direction a second ago, he throws it back and it lands by your feet.
“Did I lie?”
“Stop being an ass or the next thing I'm throwing your way are my bedazzled pliers.”
Your dad’s voice behind you puts a stop into the petty and pointless bickering “Well, don't, I worked hard on those,” you smile at him and Ian all but sulks before returning to the task at hand “I expect you both to be done on whatever you're working tomorrow, by eight. We have dinner with the Lee’s.”
Ah, dinner with your dad’s closest friends. Usual Tuesday shenanigans, of course, but it doesn't stop the nervous bubbling inside of you.
You pray Deokhee can't make it (he rarely shows up) but you mutter out an okay in response even if you don't feel like going anyway.
Nodding, he quickly looks over on what you're both doing before disappearing into the back of the shop again. You look down at your toolbox and find the bedazzled pliers your dad gave you as a part of your fourteen birthday gift with a tiny, grateful smile.
The eternal loop of working in the same usual five, fixable problems on the cars that people drop off at the shop sets in afterwards. And, for the rest of the afternoon, you keep stealing glances at the Bonneville and wondering what type of man its owner is.
You've always been drawn to pretty faces, even if it costed you your sanity only a few years back. Not that Christian or your dad or anyone else knew about it.
The little secrets you keep give you some sense of identity, it sets you apart from the oil changes and calluses on your hands and they remind you of the brief aspirations you once had outside of all of this.
When you dreamed of belonging to someone else and not just this family business, someone who you thought used to get you before he shattered your heart into a million pieces.
Deokhee thought cheating would not affect you.
Why? Oh, maybe because your edges were worn and rough and you've been through worse stuff before.
What's worse than getting abandoned and picked out as an afterthought later in life?
Being abandoned and treated like an afterthought by the guy you wasted your teen years obsessing over, probably.
Nothing breaks like a heart or whatever the song says.
And, to his advantage, he knew you'd keep calm and collected and accepting of his ways because he never promised you the life you imagined for the both of you, even after giving yourself to him multiple times.
Even after he told you how amazing you were.
Even after he whispered how lucky he was to have you, hushed and hurried at the backdoor of his house that last time before he broke it off.
Before he told you he found someone else.
So you know wondering is a bad idea. You should not wonder about a client, at that. How unprofessional of you, how immature.
But there was a spark this afternoon you never felt with anyone else. He was brave enough to joke around, even when you did try your best to intimidate him and lost tragically at one glimpse of his pretty smile.
What's so wrong in indulging in a fantasy no one will ever know about? Heavens know you need one to keep you from smashing the wrench on the windshield of this old, ungrateful, misbehaving Chevrolet that's proving to be more difficult than any other car you've ever worked on before.
It's only at ten after seven that you're allowed to think about Park Seonghwa without the guilt brought on by delusion.
“There, fixed,” your brother says and, after starting the bike again, the noise is gone “Call your future husband and tell him to pick it up, I want to meet him.”
Huffing, you reach for your phone and look at the recently added contact before shaking your head.
Indulging in a fantasy it's fine, as long as you keep it to yourself.
You get a chance to prove yourself wrong if you allow yourself to see him again.
“Not a chance in hell.”
Couple of minutes pass and you fidget the whole time. You're hoping for a yes, so it can all die down tonight. Seonghwa’s lack of transportation and your fantasy included.
He doesn't respond the way you need him to.
You hate that it makes you smile a bit.
You glance at your brother and scrunch your nose in disapproval. Would it be nice to not go wherever he is and have time to actually get ready for dinner tomorrow? Yes.
Do you want Christian to meet Seonghwa? No. That meeting would solidify everything else as a reality, it would pull you out of your little fantasy and you don't want that.
You want to keep it (Seonghwa) to yourself for a while longer.
You shouldn't be flirting, you really shouldn't.
His flirting back puts you in a dangerous zone, a territory you desperately want to explore but can't. Shouldn't.
Is it dumb of you to re-read the conversation at least eight times before going to bed?
Probably.
But you do anyway.
When Seonghwa is finally walked downstairs by his new client, he's promised a meal by Hongjoong, only if he buys some beer on the way to his apartment.
His roommates are apparently out and he didn't feel like going, although he didn't explain why. And when he gets there, Yeosang is also splayed out on the couch and with his laptop on his belly.
“Hwa’s here!”
“Oh, man, finally,” Hongjoong walks out of his room with wet hair and a towel around his neck “The takeout is getting cold. Come on!”
He seems… Off.
Seonghwa eyes Yeosang for an answer but the youngest just shrugs and sits straight on the couch as he closes his laptop.
“Is everything alrig—”
“I'll explain it to you when the time is right. Something's up with the band but it's nothing we can't fix.”
“Okay…” Seonghwa sits down on the tiny table that somehow fits the three of them, the beers and the takeout with a tiny smile, knowing not to intervene until he's told to.
Eating with his friends is like second nature to him. Everytime it happens, it's like a family dinner and everyone knows what to do and what to serve to everyone so, soon enough, they all have their chopsticks helping them get food into their mouths while they talk about their day.
Seonghwa is nodding along, not sharing a lot because, well, work is work and he just tells them how excited he is for the new project and what he's planning on doing, he even shows them the mockups and drawings he spent the whole afternoon making, gaining supportive praise for it a second later.
Yeosang looks up from his meal to him “So it's like a lot of little companies inside one company?”
“Sort of,” Seonghwa smiles “I don't really get it, either, but that's okay. It doesn't seem like I have to get the concept of the company to plan this whole thing out, only what my client wants and that's… Very different from the company image.”
He plans on saying something else but all train of thought gets interrupted when his phone dings right besides him.
And he almost spills his beer on his pretty mockups trying to get to it fast enough.
Only to end up disappointed, because it's not you but a discount notification from the food app he normally uses when he has the money to order in.
It had to show up in his face, because what he hears next has the color draining from it “Oh?”
Oh, God.
It's like Wooyoung's spirit possessing Hongjoong, he sees it happen in real time and the wicked smile his friend sends in his direction is enough to know where it's all going.
Yeosang sighs and eyes him with a tiny smile that says I'm on your side, but not really.
“Hwa… The motorcycle, the looking at your phone waiting for something or someone… Are you seeing anyone?”
“He obviously is!”
“Yeosang! Stop feeding his delusions!”
“So?” Hongjoong places his beer down, cocking his head to the side inquisitively and eyeing him up and down, like he can figure something out that way “Are you?”
“No! I just… I met this girl today and—”
“At the company?”
“No! No, uh… My bike broke down and—”
“Already?!”
“Let him talk, hyung!”
Letting out a sigh, Hongjoong sets his lips into a straight line that makes Seonghwa huff out a chuckle of disbelief “Thanks, Yeo. Anyway, my bike had a weird sound this morning and I took it to a shop, so the girl who's… In charge?” he frowns a little, because he's still not sure “Of the shop sent me a text a while ago saying that it's fixed, I was just checking if she sent anything else.”
“And you like her.”
It's more than that, really. He can't even explain it, the smile tugging at his lips a dead giveaway of the whirlwind going inside his head at the thought of you.
“Ye— No! No, I don't even know her.”
He shouldn't feel so flustered, really, but the things he felt while looking at you earlier were weird and confusing and he needs to think straight before he lets it consume him.
It felt a little too freeing for his liking.
Free from what? He's not really able to pinpoint it. But it looks like he's going to have to.
The way his friends are staring at him like they know something he doesn't it's annoying, but telling.
“Okay, maybe I do like her a little.”
Yeosang hums “Like her, like her or just… You know.”
“I'm not sure…”
“Well, figure it out!” Hongjoong is excited, almost jumping in his chair at the prospect of Seonghwa getting with someone “You have her number, ask her to… Meet you somewhere or whatever people do when they like someone.”
“Ask her on a date, hyung. That's what this idiot is trying to say.”
“Hey!”
Seonghwa closes his eyes because he can't believe his friends are entertaining the idea, feeding the growing feeling inside his chest “I just met her today, though.”
“And?” Hongjoong bites a piece of meat and shrugs, dismissively “Timing is never off when you like someone. Do something about it because I swear if I have to hear anyone else complaining about not getting with the girl they like because of timing I'll—”
“Wait, who complained?”
The table falls quiet as Seonghwa looks between his friends to find an answer but Yeosang just shakes his head and he gets it.
Not the time to talk about it.
Hongjoong points at him with his chopsticks, threateningly “Do. Something. About. It. Anyway!” He gets up from his seat, points at Yeosang this time “Guess who almost got kicked out of college for messing around with the wrong crowd today?”
“That's not what happened!”
And Seonghwa swears he's focusing on the story Hongjoong is so eager to tell, on Yeosang’s ears turning pink at the mention of a girl he's never heard before, too.
But all he can think about is you.
The next day, after briefly stopping by his office, Seonghwa is back with a few coworkers who help with measurements and put their input in the assessment. He spends all day with it, too and, once again, serves as an excuse for Soohyun to get out of some meetings he's not interested in attending.
As the day passes, he wonders how Soohyun maintains the important position he's in. Nepotism can't do everything for you, right?
Right?
But his new client seems down to earth enough to be aware of his advantages in an industry that's quick and cruel and doesn't hold too much space for laziness.
So he lets it go because, well, he tends to judge but he can't really do much for people who actually deserve to be in charge.
It's close to seven and Soohyun bidded him goodbye only a few minutes ago, saying sorry he can't walk him out because, at this time, he actually has an international call to make that can't be excused like the rest of his afternoon schedule.
Seonghwa doesn't make it out of the office before getting stopped by a manicured hand to his chest.
After the texts last night and Hongjoong's threats, he was practically ready to sprint downstairs to meet you (or whoever you sent) and get his bike back, maybe apologize for panicking and sending a whole ass sticker as a response instead of keeping the conversation going.
And to see you again. God, he wants to break his Bonneville one more time just to get to see your pretty face again.
He already idealized you in his head, which is bad and very amateur on his side, but no one needs to know that.
But now he might have to keep all of that waiting for a few more minutes because there's someone staring at him like just committed a crime. A crime he's unaware of.
“Who are you?”
Her scowl tells him she's trying to get a read on him and he thinks he's transparent enough for it to be easy. If he really thinks about it, though, it looks like she wants to scare him a little bit.
It doesn't work.
“Um, Park Seonghwa,” he says and then points over his shoulder, to Soohyun’s office “I’m working on renovating Mr. Kim’s office?”
“Oh, for fucks sake. Why can't no one in this family keep normal people around?” She peeks through his shoulder, the high heels she's wearing helping her with the task. Groaning, she turns around and starts heading for the elevator, mumbling something under her breath.
The only thing he can make out of it it's something about supermodels and a it's not fair.
She turns around briefly to look at him again and scoffs, clearly annoyed.
“I feel like I know your face from somewhere else.”
Seonghwa feels a little lost, but steps into the elevator when she does. Now he's afraid, maybe she's a crazy person but then it clicks.
Clearly, he knows her from somewhere else too.
“I'm sure the only place I've seen you before is on the news, Miss Kim,” he replies with a sheepish smile, shrugging a bit and hitting the main floor button on the panel “That's a nice tree, by the way.”
“Excuse me?”
“The one in Mr. Kim’s office?” he offers, turning to her “He told me his sister painted it and as far as I know, he only has one sister.”
That brings a smile to her face and Seonghwa counts it as a small victory, for some reason.
“Ah, so you did your research,” she nods “Please scrape it off the wall if needed. It made me bleed.”
“He omitted that part.”
“Of course he did, it was his fault. Anyway,” she shakes her head, stepping out of the elevator and walking ahead without waiting for him. She looks like the type of person who knows everyone else will follow and he does, but only out of curiosity “my brother has your number, yes, Mr. Park?”
“I'm assuming he does or, at least, my company's numb—”
“I'm not interested in your company, I'm interested in you.”
She's also very forward. How could he not guess that from the way she carries herself around?
“I don't usually do freelance work, Miss Kim.”
As they both reach the main entrance, she turns around gracefully and with a, for what he can tell, very rehearsed smile tugging at her lips.
“I'm not interested in your work either, Mr. Park.”
That, he did guess, but it's disappointing either way.
“Then what good am I to you?”
Her grin widens “You'll see.”
The sound of his Bonneville pulling up it's what gets him to turn away from the mischievous glint in the chaebol's eyes.
And when he sees you take off a helmet that's not his and wave your hand at him, she blends into the background completely.
You look good, hair down and probably freshly showered because there's a few droplets falling down from the ends of it to your shirt and leather jacket. Your hands are gloved up and all, like you've been riding bikes your whole life.
He wonders if that's the case. God, he wants to get to know you so bad.
“Oh God, not another one, I— Is she your girlfriend, Mr. Park?”
His head snaps back, eyes wide and cheeks turning pink “N-no, I just met her yesterday, she… That's my bike, I had to get it fixed.”
Pulling her bottom lip in with her teeth for a second, she nods and then takes two long strides into the direction of a car he didn't see until now “Perfect, then. She looks pretty cool,” she waves at you and he doesn't get to see if you wave back, too focused on getting the color out of his cheeks “Tell her I said that. Goodbye for now, Mr. Park.”
Seonghwa wants to ask a million questions. What does she want? What does she mean goodbye for now? But he doesn't get to. She gets into the car and drives off and that leaves space for you to drive his bike again and pull up right in front of him this time.
“Hope I didn't interrupt anything there, Ghost.”
A nervous chuckle abandons him and he manages to shake his head “No, no, she's… my client’s sister?” He offers and you smile, turning off the bike and getting off a second later “She said you're, um, cool.”
“And why would she say that?”
“Because you look cool? I don't really know, don't question me,” he's sure the efforts he put on making the blush disappear were pointless, cheeks burning when you laugh at him “Thank you, Y/N.”
“Don't thank me, Seonghwa, I didn't tell you how much it'll cost you yet.”
He gulps.
You take mercy on him and the way his eyes glisten with worry, laughing again “It's not too bad. It was the chain tensioner and my brother worked on it pretty fast, don't worry.”
Relaxing, he takes his helmet and key off your offering hands with a tiny smile, touch lingering on your skin for a second too long “Did you enjoy seeing me suffer just now?”
“A little bit,” you shrug and mutter your apologies although he can tell you're not sorry at all “I'll text you the invoice with the account you can send the money to?”
No.
He wants to say no and make you go with him to an ATM so he can pay in cash just to keep you around for a while longer, he doesn't want this interaction to be over.
And he's usually very good at communicating things of this nature but something about you makes him giddy and nervous and his charisma is not able to keep up.
It dawns on him that it's very weird to want to keep a stranger, someone he only met a day ago, in his life for as long as possible.
Do you feel the same way? He wants you to feel the same way.
The unexpected desire sits on his chest heavily, making him take in a breath more shakily than he intended to.
“Sure,” the words taste bitter on his tongue, his tone gives away that he doesn't really mean it and then said desire takes over, making him stammer the next words out “Do you want me to take you somewhere?”
Surprised, you blink a few times and then look down at your own helmet for a second. He feels like he screwed up by asking you that.
Of course, you don't feel the same way. Of course, you must have someone waiting for you already.
Of course, of course, of fucking course.
But just before he can backpedal on his offer, you're looking up, your mind made up and the same teasing smile you've been wearing ever since he saw you yesterday “It won't save you from the debt I'm about to put you through with that invoice but sure.”
Seonghwa lets out a huff and chuckle all in the same breath, straddling his bike a second later “Ha, ha. Count it as a tip, Y/N.”
“Oh, I'm so telling my brother that,” you beam when he returns the joke and he moves a little, making space for you at the back “Somehow, I don't feel safe with you riding this bike, Ghost.”
He ignites it and the whole thing shakes a bit before you can even put on the helmet, so he can't really refute that.
“Do you want to ride it?”
It's a second too late when he realizes the double meaning behind his own words, unintended, but there they are floating on the air around you both, electric and maybe one sided.
But you don't back down, taking a step into his space and crowding him, almost towering over him even if he's on the bike and even if that makes him taller than you. It feels that way, so he welcomes the sensation and the pang of his heart against his chest when you lean in just a little.
“Do you want me to ride it?”
Breath caught in his throat, Seonghwa takes in your smirk as a sign that, maybe, it's not one sided at all.
“The bike,” you clarify a second later, like it's necessary “It would be easier to get us to where I need to go, anyways.”
Planting his feet on the ground, he keeps the Bonneville stable enough to slide back to the space he created for you a minute ago, and if you can feel his heart beating with an unfamiliar, yet exciting song when you take a seat, put your helmet on and press your back against his chest, you sure cover it up when you turn to look at him.
“Does your fancy job provide you health insurance?”
He lets out an amused huff “Yours doesn't?”
“I never asked,” you shrug, taking the handles and looking forward again, leaning in slightly so now he's not that close to you but he feels you everywhere still “Just making sure in case I break you.”
When you start driving him, handling the Bonneville in a way he never would even with the years of experience ahead of him, he wants to tell you that he wouldn't mind that.
In fact, he finds himself wanting it.
As he holds tight to your waist, he finds himself on the verge of telling you to break him apart piece by piece so he can do the same with you. Explore you, not physically, but in the way it truly matters.
He wants to know your soul, he wants to understand the reason he feels attached to you after a brief meeting and little more.
You lean back to rest your back a little at a stop sign and he suddenly doesn't care if the way he squishes your waist for a few seconds gives his intentions away. He has your number, he's going to make a move eventually.
What he does care about is the way you don't tense up and just lean into his body a little more before resuming the task of getting both of you wherever you're going
This? The way he feels so free as you move through the highway, make your way in between the cars at stop signs and the wind hitting his arms? This is the grasp at his youth he's been waiting for. Even if it's just for the night.
Even if it's over too soon for his liking.
You stop in front of a house that looks empty. He wonders if it's yours for a second, but then again he's going to find out any minute soon.
“That wasn't too bad, was it?”
Getting down from his Bonneville, you take your helmet off and offer him your hand. He slides up his helmet so you can see his face, about to reply, but you beat him to it “Thank you so much for the ride that I technically gave myself, Park Seonghwa, it was a pleasure to meet you.”
Why are you saying goodbye like you're not planning on seeing him ever again?
Suddenly, he's planning on ways to mess up his bike again just to get an excuse to see you again.
No.
He has to be braver than that.
Taking your hand, he pulls you in a little bit and you let out a surprised noise that looks like it embarrasses you.
Your cheeks turn red under the streetlight and he thinks you look beautiful like that.
“Y/N,” he starts in a whisper, gathering his courage up “Would you like to—”
“Y/N.” A voice interrupts him and your eyes widen in panic while you look at him, slowly turning your head to the person as he does the same.
Not before he notices how the pretty blush and all colors drain from your face.
A guy, with blonde shaggy hair and tattoos covering his neck and hands is standing on the sidewalk with a grocery store bag and a weird look on his face. Beside him, a girl who’s smile fades away when she seems to recognize you scoffs.
The guy smiles and Seonghwa wonders why you don't say anything back, your grasp on his hand tightening before letting go.
“There you are, your dad said—”
“Ghost?”
Seonghwa doesn't like the way your voice shakes when you say the nickname he's grown used to in such a short amount of time.
“Yes?”
You don't bother putting the helmet back on, simply dropping it to the ground and turning back at him “I trust you to ride this bike now, yeah?”
He doesn't have to be told twice. Making space for you again, you hop on and hug his waste. He slides his helmet back on.
The guy takes a few steps but Seonghwa stops him with the sound of him revving his Bonneville “Come on, Y/N…” Is what he says when he starts to drive off, accelerating just a little bit before the houses start fading and the busy highway welcomes you both.
Deokhee has some nerve.
The fact that he does boils your bloodstream and you wish you could say that the warm sensation spreading through your body is caused by the guy who you're currently holding to.
Seonghwa has checked in with you once and, after confirming you were okay to keep going, he has held your gloved hands at every red light and stop sign.
You have no idea where you're going, but you're sure you can't go home and deal with this alone for now. He can't take you home, either (he doesn't know the address) but even if he could, you wouldn't let him.
The nameless girl that was with Deokhee is the same girl he cheated with. A girl who, by judging her expression, probably knew about you.
Mind going as fast as the Boneville, you ask yourself how many times she made fun of you for grasping a fantasy, a make-believe story with her now boyfriend.
What did you lack that she obviously has? What prompted him to hurt you this badly?
Is he stupid enough to not realize that the sight of them together would tear you apart all over again?
The scene replays in your head again, after all these years of trying to get over it: Him, holding your hand and telling you how amazing you were to him but that, in all honesty, he didn't see himself going out with someone like you.
You were too much, too proud, too loud.
Which doesn't make any fucking sense because although you never held back a jab or a sarcastic comment if needed, you knew the time and place to speak your mind.
It also didn't make any fucking sense because he knew you would keep his little secret from your father and your brother and, in consequence, keep the relationship you both had and the cowardly way it ended from his family as well.
You were too much, composed of many flaws and adorned with rough and burnt edges, but you would never in a million years tarnish the happiness of the people who love you because of a rookie mistake.
Falling in love with Deokhee was a rookie, horrible mistake.
Falling in love in general? You doubt it.
Because the way Seonghwa takes his time to slow down the bike on a lookout you were too distracted to notice you were climbing up to, pulls it to a full stop and then immediately reaches for your hands again, makes you believe there's good people out there after all.
He took you away without asking any questions and you're suddenly welcomed with the same grateful feeling you have towards your family.
Had you stayed there, you're not so sure you would've kept your words to yourself anymore. Your pain, your anger.
Getting down from the bike, Seonghwa takes his helmet off and drops it in front of you, on the seat, before leaning in searching for your glossy eyes.
You can see him hesitate through the fog your tears form and you don't let them drop just yet. You're angry, but there's no way you would let Deokhee make you cry again in this lifetime.
You should get down from the bike, but it doesn't move under your weight even if you readjust your position on the seat and you fear that, if you do, you would only plop down into the ground and let it swallow you whole.
You should say something, too. Thank him, probably, but the tall man lets out a breath before opening his arms and pointing at the view. Gladly, you take the opportunity to take in your surroundings and wipe your eyes with the back of your hand.
“Didn't know where else to take you, so I brought you to my breaking point.”
“Hm?” frowning a bit, you peel your eyes from the city lights to him “Your breaking point?”
“Yeah, that's what I call it,” he smiles and you do too, halfheartedly “Here's where I come to break down and let everything out. There's a playground back there too,” he points behind him and you scoff, amused “If you want to climb up somewhere and scream. The neighbors don't mind it.”
“I take that as a I've done it before.”
“Once or twice,” he shrugs “It's good for the soul.”
“God,” you cover your face with your hands “I'm so embarrassed you had to see me like that.”
“Like what? You didn't do anything.”
“Running away and acting all weak in front of…” you fake gag, but it's kind of real “Some guy.”
A bit of silence passes in between you and your savior.
And then Seonghwa laughs so hard you're forced to uncover your face and stare at him in disbelief “I'm serious! That's like… top one most embarrassing thing I've ever done.”
His laugh comes to a stop and he doesn't step closer even if you want him to, just puts his hands in the pockets of his pants and looks at you for what it feels like forever.
You don't mind it one bit.
“I've known you for a day, Y/N, but even I can tell that's not the most embarrassing thing you've done.”
Sulking, you turn to the beautiful view one more time and pout like a child. You want to tell him he's right, but your pride doesn't really allow it just yet.
It's quiet for a minute or two. You move around, throw your leg over the Bonneville and sit on top of it as you stare at the city. You feel Seonghwa move around, pace behind you until he finally reaches around and he takes a few steps before stopping on the railing separating the street from the hill.
He's looking in your direction instead of the view. You realize he's giving you space to sulk, to take in everything without pestering you with questions about why the hell you both just bolted instead of facing the situation.
Your gratitude towards him rises a bit more.
So your word vomit is justified, you think, because you don't want to leave him in the dark any longer.
The fantasy you indulged yourself in earlier might just grow into a reality you have to embrace, a reality you want to embrace.
“He's my ex-something and the girl he was with is the one he chose over me. I was supposed to have dinner with them— Well, no, not really,” you sigh, looking at Seonghwa who, in the deem light, just nods and waits for you to continue “He's my dad’s best friend's son and we have dinner with them every Tuesday. Their family, I mean. Deokhee… He never shows up,” you shrug “And when he does, he's alone and it's towards the end of it all so I never get to see him that long. But this?” you shake your head, disappointment written all over your face “I never thought he would do this to me.”
Finally getting off the bike, you walk slowly towards the railing as well and feel Seonghwa's eyes follow you as you do “He cheated on me with her, for Christ sake.” You whisper once the metal of the railing stops your step.
“How long ago?”
“Does it matter?”
“No,” from the corner of your eye, you see how he shakes his head and leans in slightly “I'm wondering because if I was your dad or your brother or your friend, I would've done something to, at least, ensure something like this never happens to you.”
“Yeah, about that…” A bitter chuckle abandons you and you shrug one more time “They don't really know what happened between us— They don't know something happened in the first place,” ashamed, once again, you turn to him “He asked me to not tell anyone when we started… Ack, whatever, it doesn't really matter.”
“It does if it's affecting you,” he insists “It does if you go pale at the sight of him, Y/N. Did he do—”
“No,” you cut him off, the corners of your lips lifting a bit “He didn't do anything weird besides breaking my heart.”
“Good.”
“I would've killed him if he did, by the way.”
“As you should,” he returns right away and finally, for the first time in the twenty minutes it took both of you to get there, you laugh sincerely. That prompts a smile on his lips “Good to know he's an idiot but not that type of idiot.”
Huffing, you turn to the city before you again “The only idiot in this situation is me.”
“For loving someone? Y/N,” his hand reaches your shoulder and you close your eyes in defeat, surrendering your heart to the weird emotion it brings you “He cheated on you. He's the idiot, the dumbass, the—”
Laughing again, his rant comes to an end and you open your eyes to find him staring at you in delight “Park Seonghwa,” you start, putting a hand over his on your shoulder “You, sir, don't know me.”
The reminder does nothing to stop him from looking at you with stars in his eyes “I'm a great judge of character, Y/N.”
“And if you're wrong?”
“Then let me be wrong,” he shortens the distance a bit, the warmth on your shoulder leaving as he lowers both of your hands, not letting go “But let me get to know you first.”
The emotion grows bigger, it swirls around your heart and spreads around your body in a way you never felt. It feels good and you hate to compare it to what you felt for Deokhee but where it once was filled with regrets and doubts and a need to hold on tight to whatever that guy made you feel now sits something that you can only describe as excitement and thrill.
Peaceful, too.
It steals your breath in a beautiful way.
Squeezing his hand a little, you inhale slowly and let go of the air when you speak “I don't really do dates, Ghost.”
“I didn't ask you on a date,” he counters immediately and your cheeks darken “I asked if I could get to know you. We don't have to go on dates, talking to you is enough.”
“O-oh, I… I thought—”
He seems to get it right away because he takes another step, your arm pressed to his by now, your hands still tangled in the middle “I one hundred percent meant it that way,” he assures you, chuckling a bit “But I don't really do dates either. Asking you out to a restaurant or a movie or whatever it is people do on dates doesn't really suit me.”
“How so?”
“There's this… Weird intention laced into it, into the prospect of a date that I don't particularly enjoy. I want to get to know people and see where it takes us without pressuring ourselves into anything romantic or sexual.” Your heart picks up at that. Not at the image it paints, but at his explanation as a whole.
It shows he might be interested in you beyond something physical and it's a beautiful thing to note when, all your life, you have felt like people only wanted you for one thing and one thing only.
You intend to tell him just that but the way he's looking at you makes you forget everything else. Brown eyes scan every inch of your face and stop at your lips for a second.
Now your heart beats for a different reason.
“No matter… How bad I want to kiss you, though.”
Words fall short. They do when for the first time in a long time you entertain the possibility of letting yourself want to kiss someone else, too.
Leaning in and straightening your back fully to give you the possibility of almost standing face to face with him, you silently communicate your desire.
It's not enough. He's too respectful.
Fuck, you like him a lot already.
“If you want to kiss me then just kiss me…” you whisper, teasing smile in full display “Dummy.”
He fakes a gasp at your jab as he leans in, his pretty nose bumping into yours for a second and making you giggle, part your lips and close your eyes while buzzing with expectation.
The sky has other plans, though. It roars above you and you both look up.
It's been cloudy, a couple of days of unusual humidity throwing off everyone but you guess the steam gathered up in the clouds just in time to knock some sense of reality into you.
Or pushing you further into the craziness of this one day alone.
Seonghwa groans a little and then a phone starts ringing in someone's pocket.
Not yours, you made sure to hit the not disturb button as soon as you got ahold of it.
You should probably tell your brother you're okay.
But Seonghwa is still close to you, his lips a breath away from yours, so you put it aside when he shows no intention of picking up his call either.
The tension builds up again, both of you ignoring the thunderstorm approaching and everything else.
There's many things from today you're not going to be able to explain any time soon, the magnetic pull Seonghwa had on you the first time you laid eyes on him is one of them, the freedom you touch with your fingertips when your mind is finally off your duty, off your family…
It's so dangerous you quickly become addicted to the recklessness of it all.
And then his phone starts ringing again, so you welcome the reality that washes over you with a sour face and pout on your lips.
“The universe must be against us being a thing, huh?” You whisper and he clicks his tongue in disapproval, resting his forehead on yours for a second before pulling away completely, pulling out his phone from his pocket.
“I don't think the universe has much to do with this one, dear,” he frowns and misses the way you flush at the sudden nickname. You swear on your life, normally you would be pretty disgusted at the endearment. Now? You want him to call you that again “I should take this and we should probably go somewhere else. There's not much to cover us up if it starts raining.”
“Sure, uh…” You fish your phone from your pocket as well, grimacing when you look at the missed calls and texts “I have to make a call, too.”
He seems to understand immediately “Go right ahead.”
Putting even more distance in between both of you, you faintly hear a what's going on from Seonghwa and then tap your screen to return your brother's call.
He picks up right away.
“Are you okay?!”
His tone forces your eyes closed. Rushed, you picture him in the backyard with a cigarette in between his fingers, trying to get ahold of himself without worrying everyone else too much “Yeah, I'm okay. I'm with a friend and—”
“Then why don't you pick up the fucking phone?!”
“Calm down,” taking in a breath and letting it out, you hear him do the same before continuing “Is there a way I can explain all of this to you tomorrow? I'm fine, Deokhee is a dick and I don't ever want to see him so I ran away like a—”
“What did he do?”
“No, nothing now, it's just… Listen, I'll explain tomorrow, alright? I'm staying with my friend tonight and everything will make sense tomorrow. It's really dumb, like… Teenage drama dumb,” you sigh, hoping that the minimal information you're giving him can help him figure it out “Just tell dad that I'm fine and if he asks I'm with a friend who is a girl and she's staying over at my place because there was a… Boy emergency or whatever.”
“Are you with—” what seems to click is something else and your brother gasps “Y/N!”
“Can you help out this time?”
The silence on the line seems to extend forever and guilt licks your throat, giving you the feeling that it's about to close up.
You want to grasp what you felt a minute ago again, the freedom of this, of doing too much, of unnecessarily putting Christian through it because he already did so much for you growing up.
Just tonight, at least, you owe yourself the feeling of not proving your place in your own family.
But the silence hurts and you wonder if you could ever, truly, be free from it.
“You owe me an explanation. Take care and text me goodnight at least, yeah?”
“Okay,” you whisper back “Thank you, Ian.”
“Yeah, yeah. I love you, kid.”
His words fill your eyes with tears again and you don't get to reciprocate them before he hangs up. You know he knows, but it still hurts when you remember how unlovable you felt before you met him as a child.
It hurts when you remember that you allowed Deokhee to make that feeling return.
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
And the more it hurts, the more the sky rumbles and you fear that, if you break down here and now, it would not only embarrass you in front of Seonghwa but also strand him on this hill with you.
It doesn't matter that he calls this his breaking point, it's not yours to use.
So again, your tears stay at bay and when you turn around you catch Seonghwa looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face.
He wants to hug you, his body language gives him away as soon as he steps closer to you but a storm is about to soak through your clothes any second, so you pass him and grab his hand to pull him to his bike in the process.
When his fingers intertwine with yours, you know he understands. He doesn't make any questions, he doesn't press any information out of you and just allows you to climb his motorcycle.
“We need to leave.”
“Where do you want to go?” he asks, getting on the bike as well and goes in for his helmet but your words stop him.
“Do you want to stay the night with me?”
Turning his head, he blinks at you a few times and you smile a little before the curve fades away.
“I have my own place, we can order something in and just talk. Seonghwa, you…” biting the inside of your cheek, you try to approach this the right way “I don't expect this to go anywhere but can't you… Do you feel it too?”
He stays silent and you fear you might've taken it too far. But it doesn't really matter. Willing to take the risk, you take his hand on yours again and hold it close to your heart.
The sky roars again in response.
And you catch when his breath hitches because of it, too.
“Do you feel it, Seonghwa?”
A bit passes and then some, his eyes searching for something in yours and then dropping to where your heart beats again.
“What's your address?”
It's already raining by the time you both get into your building’s garage and park his Bonneville.
The entire ride was a bit long. It had you resting your head on his back while his fingers tapped against yours with impatience.
But when you make it to the safe space that is the elevator, clothes showing the evidence of the droplets falling from the sky and all, you finally get to breathe.
Until Seonghwa steals that breath away again.
He stares at you through the mirror, steps closer until he can take your face with his hands and swipes under your eyes where the makeup has run a little.
“Ghost…”
‘I didn't answer before,” he murmurs and wet his lips with his tongue. You can't help but stare at them, the moment somehow more intimate now, under the fluorescent glow of the elevator, than with the city lights and lighting above you “But I do feel it. I stand on what I said before, though.”
“No dating?”
He chuckles “No, not that,” shaking his head, he steps away when the elevator gets to your floor “I want to get to know you either way.”
“Ah. That,” you feel silly for assuming he didn't want to date you, but given your history you're not sure you can blame yourself too much “Well, you're about to see my cave, so we're both halfway there.”
As soon as you open the door and turn on the light, you can see in his face that he sees what you mean.
It's a one bedroom apartment that doesn't leave too much to the imagination. Your bedroom’s door is opened, the bathroom door is closed and the kitchen is an American style one that's separated from the living space by a small counter you can barely fit your mail on.
There's a lot of old furniture that you remodeled, painted over the cracks and stuffed where you needed the most. Your fridge is also old, the couch is somehow the only modern looking item in the living room and it stands out a bit because its material is not as worn out as everything else.
There's posters on the walls, unframed and placed randomly because, here, you don't have to be put together. The only people who come over are your brother and your dad, so it's okay.
It's not even an old building, but your apartment makes it look like one.
“Hope you don't mind the mess, Grandpa.”
“Oh, I'm not Ghost anymore?” He asks with a breathy laugh, taking his shoes off as you place yours by the entrance and shrugging his jacket off too “It's not messy, it's… Kind of like the shop, really.”
Mirroring his actions, you take off the leather jacket and welcome the warmth of your apartment “Greasy?”
“Cool,” he corrects and you walk through your space picking up a few things from the floor and putting them by the living room table “Is it yours, by the way?”
“The shop?” he nods and you walk to your fridge to fetch you both some water bottles “It's my dads. Why do you ask?”
“You seemed to own the place, with the way you walked around it,” shrugging, he takes a seat on your couch as he takes in the space “I just wondered…”
Walking in front of him on purpose, because you could've easily rounded the table and sat at the opposite edge of the couch, you sit right beside him and offer him a water bottle that he takes with a whispered thanks “You wondered…”
“A lot of stuff, actually,” he admits and you smile “Like your age, for example. Your last name, how did you end up working as a mechanic, if you were studying something, if you…” he pauses and turns to the side, resting his shoulder on the couch “If you liked me the way I liked you.”
Choking on the water you're gulping down, it's very evident you didn't think he was about to go down that lane again.
So directly, too.
He laughs, leaning in and wiping your chin with a familiarity that has you even more breathless than his confession. No, scratch that, it's all of it. All of him.
“Don't make me get on that bike again tonight, dear.”
That goddamn endearment again. You might risk it all and kiss him, chin wet and all.
“Whatever for?”
“You clearly almost choked to death,” he exaggerates, probably an excuse to stay that close to you longer than he needs to “And it was my fault, too.”
Smiling and shaking your head, you push him a bit until he falls back into his previous position, smugness tugging at his lips in a way that has your insides jolting up with excitement “I do like you, Ghost.”
“I know that now, but earlier I did wonder.”
“Wondering is such a dangerous thing, isn't it?”
His smile settles with a softness that melts you, your hand back in his with ease “Not necessarily.”
Squeezing his hand in unspoken agreement, you nod and then try to remember the topic of conversation before… Well, before he distracted you.
“Well, you were kind of right with your assumptions then. It's not my shop, but I grew up in it,” you shrug, letting go of his hand to grab your phone “We should probably wait to order something.”
“Yeah, until the monsoon dies down,” he says, looking outside your window that does little to conceal the thunderstorm outside “You grew up fixing bikes?”
“Cars,” you correct with a nod, connecting your phone to the speaker that lies under your tv “Is my day to day playlist alright?”
“Yup,” he crosses his legs on the couch and you see from the corner of your eye how his follow your actions, heat rushing to your cheeks at how attentive he is “Did you always want to be a mechanic?”
The question takes you by surprise, but you cover it up as you set the volume to the perfect percentage to let you two have a proper conversation without raising your voices “Kind of. It's all I'm good at, really,” you shrug “Also, my dad’s wife looked very cool in pictures growing up and I wanted to be just like her, so.”
“Your mom?” you shake your head and he frowns “Your stepmom?”
“No, uh…” clearing your throat, you get ready to reveal a piece of you that you rarely share with other people, even if it's obvious to everyone else “I'm adopted. Me and my brother we, mmm, we used to live in this sort of… Group house, I guess, and dad just picked us one day,” word vomiting again, once that you open the dam you don't know how to stop “I mean, he's not… We're not blood related, either, he just brought me along like when you adopt a dog at a shelter and they give you their favorite blanket, you know?”
Seonghwa is full on frowning at that and you think that, for the sake of just agreeing with you, he's going to nod and let it go, but he doesn't “I don't think you're just something your brother brought along with him. Adopting two kids is a big decision, isn't it?”
Reluctantly, you nod.
“Well, there you go.”
“I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him, though,” you shrug and sip on your water bottle again, gulping the liquid to send that lump on your throat down “But it doesn't really matter because it was a long time ago and now they're both stuck with me.”
He shakes his head but laughs a little at your sudden shift and, this time, he does let it go.
But you don't.
“Thank you, by the way.”
He smiles, a little confused “For what?”
“Helping me when I needed you to. We don't really know each other and yet…”
“It feels like I know you, though.”
Sharing the sentiment, you nod “I know, it's weird but, uhm… You didn't need to do what you did for me tonight. You even took me to your breaking point!” you let out a puff of air, making it a bigger deal than what it sounds. It's a bigger deal for you, anyway “And then drove me all the way here. That's a lot.”
“It's not much. It was my fault, really,” he shrugs and shakes his head at the confused look you give him “I kind of… Asked the universe for an excuse to stay with you, so…”
“Ah, so it was your fault Deokhee showed up,” the lighthearted joke lands the way you intended because he laughs with a sound so beautiful it makes your heart pick up “Got it.”
“Do you feel better? I mean, after seeing him, are you feeling better?”
“Not really, it sucks,” you say with a bitter laugh “But I hold grudges like that. It's not…” you raise your hands in self defense suddenly “I don't want him like that anymore, it's just that I can't help but…”
“I understand,” he whispers and you let out a sigh again, grateful that he interrupted your rambling “People believe that forgive and forget is the way to go when you're resenting someone but human beings don't really work like that, hm?”
“Yeah…”
Staring at him, that weird emotion that you felt at the top of the hill comes back. That dangerous warmth that makes you want to take his hand in yours and place your lips at the back of it with a familiarity you haven't really earned yet.
So when you catch him staring at you the same way, you change the subject.
“What do you do?” eyebrow raising, you eye him suspiciously and that makes him giggle “Meetings all day, past normal shift hours…”
“I renovate spaces, Y/N,” he laughs again “You made it sound like I work with the mafia.”
“Do you?”
“No. I have a buddy that does, though.”
“Oh, so I was kind of right then?”
“Yeah, yeah…” you both laugh again and then he looks around your living space like he did when you two first got in “You were right about the whole getting to know you just by looking at your apartment.”
“I know, it says a lot about a person.”
“It does!” He's excited now, sitting straighter and turning ever so slightly, your knees bumping now “There's only a few people that I trust who have those… Beige, white and black houses or apartments and that's only because I got to know them before I saw where they live.”
“So, you have rich friends?”
He stops and thinks for a second “Yeah, they all have a lot of money. I mean, the people I'm talking about, not my friends,” you raise your eyebrow again and he chuckles “Alright, I only have one rich friend. The rest of them are broke musicians and college students. He was actually the one who called earlier and, uhm…”
“Interrupted us?” You offer, smiling.
His cheeks gain a little color, maybe from the memory “Y-yeah.”
“Everything's okay?”
“Yes! Yeah, he wanted me to go pick him up from something but I told him I couldn't because, well—”
“You were with me.”
“Mhm,” you see him gulp and the mood shifts a little bit again. His face falls down as he eyes your parted lips, leaning in again ever so slightly, like he's not really thinking it through “Couldn't leave you stranded and he has a chauffeur.”
Unconsciously, you start leaning in a bit too.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes… D-do I like what?”
You chuckle and he breathes out a laugh, too “Renovating spaces…”
Pressing his hands into the fabric on the couch, at your sides, he invades your space a little more now “I do… Do you like fixing cars?”
Nodding, your nose is a whisper away from his now “I do…”
He breathes and it lands right on your mouth, making you pant as well.
“That's good.”
“Mhm.”
Eyes closing, your lips tremble a little as you wait for him to close the distance.
“You're so fucking pretty—”
You close the distance instead, pressing your mouth into his and letting the tension deflate your posture because you're finally tasting him.
Your little fantasy is not a fantasy anymore.
And it feels so fucking good. It feels good to have someone you desire, so suddenly, so unexpectedly, reciprocate your emotions and pull you closer to make acquaintance with your taste as well.
Seonghwa makes a noise you want to engrave into your brain the second you grab his shirt and pull him to you as well. And then you move.
The couch is stuffy, your bed is a mess and the cold from the thunderstorm makes its way to your living room even if you feel your entire body lit up from the swipe of his tongue against yours.
So you stand up.
You give him a teasing smile when his mouth chases after yours once you pull away “Where are you going?”
“Another thing you should know about me,” you start, breathy, your thumb swiping your bottom lip on instinct and his eyes follow the motions “Is that I have very noisy neighbors. The woman in that apartment over there,” you point at the window right in front of yours, the building separated by the street but still close enough to tell everything that goes inside your neighbors apartment if you wanted to “Once made a complaint against me because I walked out in my underwear one time.”
“Is she blind or bitter or something?” he asks, amused by your sudden storytelling, chest heaving as you pull your curtains closed “Or both?”
“She's old,” you tell him, turning around “And you haven't seen me in my underwear to make that a point, Ghost.”
“Yet,” he smirks slyly and you blush at the implication. Seonghwa reaches for you as you pass in front of him again and slip right through his fingers a second time “Now where are you going?”
He sounds whiny.
You like that.
“Another thing you should know about me,” walking to the door and turning off the big light, the living room goes dark except for the lighting that illuminates it as you're making your way back to him, getting on your knees on the couch and reaching behind him to turn on a lamp that doesn't do much but, this way, at least you can see each other “Is that I don't invest in new shit. Can't afford it, so those curtains are useless during the day… And when the lights are turned on.”
“You don't want people to gossip about you kissing a hot guy?”
“Wow,” his cockiness is clearly a joke but you won't let the opportunity of making fun of him go “Is the hot guy in the room with us?”
He beams at you.
“Oh, shut up, Y/N.”
Humming and feeling a lot more comfortable now that you know that, in fact, the spotlight won't be on you when you keep kissing his lips raw as you intend to, you loop your index finger in the collar of his shirt and tug with minimal force at it.
He acts like you put a lot of strength while doing it, his lips a breath from yours again as a consequence.
You're about to let out a witty remark, something to keep the teasing and flirting going but then his eyes actually light up like the sky when the song playing on the speaker changes.
“That's what you were humming yesterday!” His hands fall to your waist and you all but get whiplashed at the quick change in attitude.
He looked like he was about to risk it all a second ago and now he's letting his back fall into the couch and taking you with him.
“Huh?”
“I didn't see anyone when I came into the shop yesterday and then I heard you humming this song.”
“Oh,” you laugh, braising yourself on your forearms as he moves his hands up your back “Is one of my favorite songs by them.”
“By who?”
Eyes wide as saucers, you gape at him in disbelief “Kiss?”
“I don't know them like that!”
“You don't know this?” he giggles under your scrutinizing gaze and you follow, still in disbelief. You don't really know what possesses you, but you start singing along to the lyrics “I was made for lovin’ you, baby. You were made for lovin’ me.”
Seonghwa's laughter dies down at that and you notice it too: How the words somehow seem fitting even though you is day two of knowing him.
The way his heart beats under the palm you place right above it, on his chest, feels intoxicating.
So you descend again, your front colliding with his and your mouth grazing his beautiful one as you sing the song to him.
“And I can't get enough of you baby, can you get enough of me?”
“Fuck…”
You laugh “That's not really how it goe—”
His tongue probing your lips open shuts you up for good.
Seonghwa's hands hold you close, tracing the curve on your back slowly with his thumbs until he finds that spot where your shirt rode up a little, goosebumps on your skin letting him know what he provokes on you.
There's never been a point in time where you let yourself wonder if you're moving too fast.
For you, someone who had to take every chance they got in life to get something, out of fear the opportunity wouldn't show up again, this thing you got with Seonghwa feels like it's going at the right pace.
You both like each other, that much is clear.
Nothing dramatic has really happened to bond you two together, but it feels like it has.
Like you're bonded.
Like it was fated, somehow.
Like his motorcycle had to break down and he had to walk into the shop when you were the only one there to assist him.
Like he had to see you breakdown, take you away from the despair Deokhee brings to your soul, in order for you to finally let go and move on to greater things.
And there's nothing greater than feeling his hand travel down and absentmindedly grab your ass, a noise of satisfaction slipping through your lips and landing on his at the feeling.
“I'm so—”
“I liked it,” your smile blends with his as you peck his lips and he does it again, gaining a pleased hum from you “Come here, Ghost.”
“Where?”
Disentangling your limbs from his, you follow your original plan and slip from the couch to the floor, your knees hitting the soft carpet you have under the coffee table you're grateful is not that in the way.
Seonghwa sits on the couch again, opening his legs to accommodate the new position you're in and you see the image get to him before the suggestion hits your head.
You see him gulp when you lick your lips and then it's your turn to gulp, trying to understand if this is something he wants as much as you want it.
Because suddenly you want it. You want it so much.
It doesn't take much to gather up the courage to touch him, his thighs inviting you to caress them with your nails, teasing, testing him “Is this okay?”
“Yeah,” he breathes out, hooded eyes and a soft, whiny, trembling tone making fidget on your knees “More than okay.”
It makes you smile. But there's things to clear up before you go any further.
“I don't want you to think I brought you to my house just to get on my knees in front of you, Seonghwa.”
“I don't… I w-would never think that,” you nod and he releases a shuddering breath “I don't want you to think that this is all I want from you either, Y/N.”
“I don't think that,” you whisper “but thank you for making it clear.”
“Mhm, I… Oh.” He stops when your touch trails higher and you take your hands away.
“You wanted to say something else?”
“N-no.”
Squinting your eyes at him, you press “You sure?”
“I was going to say that I want you… S-so please touch me, please.”
Who would've thought that a man begging would turn you on so, so much?
You catch on to it immediately. Lowering your hands again, this time around his calves, you pull him a little so he can sit on the edge of the worn out couch.
He follows suit.
“You want me to touch you?” you murmur and he nods “Where?”
He closes his eyes, blush beautifully creeping up his neck “Y/N…”
“You asked me to touch you, but I already was…” you say, like it's the most obvious thing ever “So where do you want to be touched, hm?”
Straightening your spine and angling yourself upwards, your nose hovers just below his chin. Hands starting to go up again, you hear his breath hitched when your palm grabs into the fabric of his pants before letting it go, the sound of it hitting the skin under making you and him release a noise.
“How do you want to be touched?”
Looking down, Seonghwa's mouth barely brushes your nose when he says “So it's going to be like this?”
“It's working for you,” you whisper back, the pad of your fingers pressing on his inner thighs and, when you look down, the tent in his pants curves your lips with pride that shows when you turn to him again “Isn't it?”
Pupils blown, he bites down on his lip and you see, for a slight second, a switch in his demeanor that makes you want to drop the teasing just to ask him to take you right there, on the floor, on the couch, wherever he wants to.
But, as soon as your fingernails trace the outline of his cock, he switches back “P-please...”
He doesn't have to beg you anymore.
Desperate to have him squirming under your touch, you push a little with your thumbs and he whines, a sweet sound you can't treasure as long as you want to because hand grabs your neck and his mouth crushes yours in want.
In a few seconds, the button of his pants is off and the fabric is pooling at his ankles. You help him out of them, his mouth never leaving yours except when you two break apart to pass sweet moans in between kisses and barely there bites.
Boxers succumbing to the same fate as his pants, you get him needy and panting into your open mouth as you finally take him fully into your hand.
Pumping one and then twice, you finally pull away to look at him and the sight that welcomes you is beautiful, big and oozing at the tip.
Eyes connecting with Seonghwa’s again, you make sure he's looking at you before gathering spit and letting it fall into your hand.
He moans.
And then he moans a little more when you start working his length, butt connecting to the carpet once again to give him attention fully.
It feels invigorating, the control he gives you makes you float into an intimate space you never had the opportunity to explore before and that just adds up to the list of things you're grateful for.
You take in his reactions, the way he's having a hard time keeping his mouth shut when you get close to the tip and tease it before going back down, the way his breath catches in his throat when you lean in and blow some air on it before letting yourself have a taste of him.
Licking around the tip and eyeing him as you do so, you get to catch him throw his head back in bliss. Then, you indulge both of you a little bit more: hollowing your cheeks, you move forward to take him in your mouth.
And then you moan around him at the feeling and he shivers under the palm you placed on his knee to keep steady as you suck him off.
“Your mouth feels so fucking good, dear,” he encourages and you bat your eyelashes at him teasingly, making him chuckle before whining again. Tangling his fingers on your head to guide you to the right speed, he closes his eyes and curses under his breath “So fucking good.”
It only makes you want to hear him again. So you do your best to stay on him, breathing through your nose and continuing your ministrations as he moans above you, filling your living room with sounds you want to plaster across the walls, encapsulate in a bottle to hear them again when he's not with you.
You take him deeper and his grasp on your head tenses before you release him with a lewd sound you didn't really intend to make.
Breathing hard, you let out a whine when he tilts your head back. He looks at you with indescribable desire, want and a little smile that prones yours.
“You have no idea,” he starts, leaning in to take you mouth with his again, tongue swiping at the saliva that gathered under your bottom lip “How bad I want to ruin you now.”
Oh, so maybe he's not as submissive as you thought. You should've guessed it, the slight switch and the little glint earlier would've hinted at his true intimate nature if you weren't so busy trying to get the act up.
“Only if you want to, of course.”
And yet, he's such a fucking gentleman. You can practically feel yourself getting wetter at his words.
Your whisper is sweet, a confirmation on what you want and what he obviously wants to hear “Come here, Ghost.”
You make space for him on the floor and he doesn't question why the both of you are not on the way to your bed right now.
He seems to like it, even, so you giggle into his mouth at his eagerness to lay you down on the soft carpet and hum appreciatively when his hands bypass your shirt and grab your bare waist to accommodate you both into a comfortable position.
With his leg in between yours and his chest pressed against you, he kisses you until you're pliant, needy and janking him down to earn some sort of friction.
Mouth descending down your cheek, into your jaw and then your neck, Seonghwa scatters kisses in the soft spots like he already mapped you out with his mouth.
His hands touch you where you like, his knee bumps into your core to keep you there as he works his way through you like he had you like this before and it's addicting.
It feels right.
He mouths at the valley of your breasts and softly sinks his teeth into the flesh through your shirt and it makes you dizzy, letting out a moan that makes him smile.
Touching him too, you give his back some attention before sinking your fingers on his silky hair and tugging at the strands.
He kisses down, down, down until he reaches your belly and then bites you the same way he did seconds ago “Ghost…”
“Say my name, Y/N.”
“Hm?”
“I love when you call me Ghost,” he starts, breathing hard and you watch his nose disappear under the fabric of your shirt, raising it a bit more when he moves to be eye to eye with you “but I want you to call my name if I'm making you feel good,” kissing the sense out of you for a few seconds, he talks against your mouth “Can you do that for me, dear?”
“Yes,” you barely nod, opening your eyes to find his “Seonghwa.”
The way you whisper his name, needy and teasingly at the same time, seems to wake something else in him.
Because in a second, he's asking you to raise your body a little so he can take your shirt off. You help him with his and he moves to undo the clasp on your bra after asking for permission one more time and you shouldn't really find his insistent questioning of consent so hot but you do.
He takes his time with you, exploring you with his mouth as you do your best to keep still under him. He kisses your chest, rounding your nipples with his tongue and taking them into his mouth after.
Lightning illuminates the room and electricity runs through you and settles into your core.
“Seonghwa…”
The sky roars when he gives your legs attention over the fabric of your pants, moans blending into the thunder and the sound of the raindrops against the window when he pulls back and raises your left leg to kiss a path from your ankle to your thigh.
You buck your hips at the feeling, asking for more without really saying anything and he smiles before moving to your right leg and giving it the same amount of attention.
“You want me to touch you?” He asks and you're about to call him out for being mean and clueless, but his smirk proves he's only teasing “Where do you want me to touch you, Y/N?” voice low and dripping in honey, he unbuttons your pants and you're not too fucked out yet to know he's returning the way you tortured him earlier “How do you want me to touch you?”
Your pants end up meeting with his somewhere under the coffee table and you smile when he zeroes on the wet patch your arousal has formed on your underwear.
And, unlike him, you're not actually humble in asking what you want “Don't you want to taste the mess you've made, Seonghwa?”
When he eats you out, he makes sure to taste it real good. Open you up with his fingers, learn the right pace and pressure until heat pools on your lower abdomen and you're incoherently babbling praises under your breath.
When you come undone on his tongue, you make sure to repeat his name like a mantra. Over and over again until he's sated with his meal and leaves the remnants of it in wet marks as he makes his way up to your mouth.
Tasting yourself on his tongue is heaven.
“Sound so pretty for me, you're so… Fuck, Y/N.”
Taking him into your hand again, his dick twitches at the sudden attention it's getting and you explore the skin on his neck, lap at his collarbone and nuzzle against it because you just can't get enough.
“I want you inside me, Seonghwa,” you whisper against his skin and you see him close his eyes when your other hand joins you on his chest, thumb against his nipple “Ruin me like you promised, hm?”
He grabs your chin, eyes dark with passion and affection in a way you never want to forget “Your filthy mouth might be the death of me.” He whispers and you giggle, bratty.
“Good, I never want you to forget it,” you whisper back “I never want you to forget me.”
“Never in a million years, dear.”
Happy at his response, you kiss him and feel the warmth of his hand leaving you to try and grab his pants again. You giggle when he curses lowly, letting go of him so he can take a condom out of his wallet with a smile on his face.
He looks back at you in the process, shaking his head in amusement at the way you're taking the tender pause and he's smiling when he rolls on the condom as well as when he lowers himself so he can kiss you senseless again.
When Seonghwa enters you, the whiny mess he was when you first touched him makes its comeback and you welcome it as you sink your nails into the skin of his waist, accompanying his slow movements as he eases you open.
Soon, you're a whiny mess too. He whispers sweet nothings into your ear and kisses your shoulder while you hug him tight to you and let yourself get lost in the buck of his hips and the way he slows downs to make the moment last, like you're not planning on keeping him in your life and making him see stars whenever he wants.
When he picks up the pace, the living room is warmer than it was when you first came in and the cold from the storm outside it's forgotten as his sweaty forehead rests on yours and his hips snap into yours with vigor.
“That’s it, dear. God, you feel so good…”
Ruin you he does. Because this time, as he flicks your clit with his thumb and you come, it solidifies the fact that there's no one else you want.
Is it crazy and a little rushed because you just met him? Yes.
Do you give a damn? No. No you fucking dont.
He ruins you for good and for everyone else, as well.
“Seonghwa! Fuck, fuck, don't stop.” You beg, overstimulated and hips aching, but wanting him to reach his high so badly none of that matters.
When his hips stutter, you take his ass with your hands and keep him in place, buried deep inside of you and walls pulsing around him as he comes with a beautiful cry and a rasp of your name in his throat.
Panting, you take the opportunity to kiss his face as he comes down, nose slowly caressing his with affection and gratefulness and emotion you can't express because it's not the time yet.
“God, Y/N.” He breathes out with a chuckle and you reciprocate it, kissing his mouth once more before deflating against the soft carpet under you.
“I know,” you look at him, at his fucked out expression and the cute way he kisses the hand you use to wipe the sweat out of his face makes you feel giddy and in love, even if you know you're aren't in love with him yet “God bless the fucking thunderstorm.”
Laughing, he nods in agreement “God bless the fucking thunderstorm.”
He kisses you again and then pulls out, making a quick work on the condom and asking for the bathroom so he can dispose of it before making his way back to you.
When he does, you're already sitting down, still naked, but sipping at your forgotten water bottle. Sitting down next to you, he places a kiss on top of your head.
The carpet is definitely going to use some cleaning after tonight, but that's okay.
There's a bit of comfortable silence as you both recover from the amazing sex you just had. He takes a sip of your water bottle as well and then there's another thunder that shakes your window and all, making you both jump a little.
Seonghwa “Do you… Mind if I stay over?”
You snort “I wasn't planning on letting you go anywhere, Ghost.”
He smiles, getting close to your face again “Even if it stops raining?”
You nod, pecking his lips “Even if I have to go and clean up my room just for you.”
“Oh, wow,” he whistles loud and you push him in feign annoyance, looking around for your underwear “You like me, like me.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
He attempts to hug you but you push him away again and stand up, making a quick job of putting your panties back on “Say that you like me and I'll let you kidnap me if you want.”
“That's not how kidnapping works, idiot.”
He gets up as well, taking his underwear and putting it on as he follows you around your apartment.
You quicken your step, but he catches you right as you enter the mess in your bedroom. He hugs you tight, you back against his bare chest and his chin on your shoulder a second later “I'll honestly let you keep me even if you say you hate me, Y/N.”
Is sweet and it should make you cringe but you all but melt against his touch. There's no real need to tell him you like him when you place his hand on top of your chest so he can take in the way your heart beats for him for the second time tonight.
“Good,” you turn a little, smiling at him and then turning to your room again “Do you want to help me clean this up just to make it messy again?”
“Y/N!”
Seonghwa doesn't help you clean your room. He, in fact, makes it a lot messier as soon as you two get into bed and when he falls asleep he dreams of a life where he can be by your side every night.
The only thing that disturbs his sweet dreams is the way you squirm in his hold and he can't quite place the reason for it until he hears the loud, banging alarm ringtone he has set at six thirty so he can get ready for work.
Murmuring and still half asleep, you slap his chest so he can tend to it “Turn it off, Ghost.”
He does and he checks the time and the screen of his phone to find a message from his boss. It reads something about taking the opportunity to take the rainy day and work from home or something like that and Seonghwa can confirm, looking through your bedroom window, that the rain falls softly against it still.
He smiles, grateful to have his laptop with him so he can work on his report if you decide not to kick him out first thing in the morning, and then rolls back to you so he can cuddle you and sleep in for the first time in months of commuting to the office.
Then his phone rings again.
Both of you groan at the sound and you sit up, the big t-shirt you put on after taking a shower gathering messily around your waist and he almost forgets about the call at the sight of you.
You're so beautiful.
“Pick it up and tell them to go fuck themselves for calling you so early. What the fuck.”
He smiles “Bossy.”
“You like it.” You say, smiling back and falling on top of him as he answers the call from an unknown number, your cheek resting on his chest.
He makes sure his voice sounds extra sleepy when he does “Hello?”
“Good morning, mister Park!” It's a woman on the line, a voice he recognizes but can't quite place yet “I'm sorry to wake you up, but yesterday you asked me what good you're to me… Guess what? You can find out today!”
She sounds sarcastic and tired and like she drank seventy energy drinks to stay awake. Seonghwa scavenges his brain until the memory hits him “Miss Kim?”
You look up at that, curious.
“The one and only. Now, tonight you will accompany me to a party and—”
“Miss Kim—”
“I'm not finished,” you cuts him off, annoyed “At the party, I need you to pretend to be my boyfri—”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“No, I will not go to the party with you and no, I will not pretend to be your boyfriend.”
Now, you sit up on the bed again and frown at him. He shrugs and sits up as well.
“This could be a really great opportunity for you to gain connections and—”
“Miss Kim,” he starts and, after taking in the sudden desperation on her voice, he sighs “I'm flattered you have taken me into consideration for this… Particular, uhm, job?” He offers, feeling awkward as hell “But my day is taken and I'm not single anymore, so I can't do it.”
He watches you as you break into a little knowing smile and he smiles back, not even the disappointed sigh Miss Kim lets out on the other side of the line can break him away from the spell you so easily put him under.
“This is very inconvenient for me but I hope you and the cool girl I saw yesterday are happy together… Even if it ruins my happiness forever!” She sounds like she doesn't really mean the last part but it's trying hard to make it seem like she does “God… Ugh. Don't mention this to my brother and please cover that stupid tree up, okay? Goodbye.”
She hangs up before he even gets the chance of saying goodbye or asking if she'll be okay. He has friends who wouldn't pass the opportunity to fake a relationship and go to a party, anyway.
“So,” you start, getting on your knees and making your way back to him “What the fuck was that?”
He reaches for your waist without really thinking about it, like he's been doing it his whole life and you sit on his lap like this is a morning routine you two crafted with years of experience.
“I don't really know. Remember my client's sister?” you nod “She wanted me to be her fake boyfriend at a party tonight, I think.”
“And you told her you're not single anymore to save face because you didn't want to go?”
“I told her I wasn't single because I'm not,” he says, honestly “Even if you're not my girlfriend right now… I don't really want to see anyone else but you, so…”
You fake a gasp and he rolls his eyes, smiling like an idiot when you lean in to leave a peck on his lips “And I was about to kick you out ten minutes ago!”
Pouting, he holds you tighter “Why?”
“That stupid alarm almost made me.”
“I turned it off!”
You laugh at the way he pretends to be offended and you're about to say something else before his phone starts ringing like crazy.
It's not a call, it's a message notification.
He turns to it and sees that Yunho is spamming the group chat with emojis.
“Oh, God,” he sighs “What now?”
“Is that your friend from yesterday?”
“Mhm.”
When Seonghwa scrolls to the messages to find something that can indicate what the hell is going on, he reads something a little alarming.
Does anyone want to skip town tonight?
He blocks the phone and tosses it into the bed, turning to your worried form with a smile “Do you want to meet my friends tonight?”
You seem to get it immediately.
“I would love to, Ghost,” you lean in to kiss him again, softly “Only if you introduce me as your girlfriend and not your mechanic, though.”
Heart beating with a wonderful song, he agrees with soft yes and kisses you dumb for the first time today.
He almost misses the deadline for his report, too.
It's not really his fault that he can't get enough of you.
If you read all the way down here: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
© jensthwa, 2024.
#park seonghwa#park seonghwa x reader#seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa smut#seonghwa imagines#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa fic#ateez#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#ateez reactions#ateez smut#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#seonghwa hard thoughts#seonghwa hard hours#fic; iwmfly.#kpop x reader#seonghwa x you#seonghwa x y/n#ateez x you#ateez x y/n#ateez seonghwa#ateez park seonghwa
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Do you think you could do something like this
https://www.tumblr.com/themultifanshipper/759431110157631488/quiet-innocent-reader-x-lando-like-lando-finds
Maybe with Oscar ( love your writing)
If Oscar had to describe your sex life in one word : Vanilla.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that! God knows how much the two of you enjoyed the sex you had. You weren’t very experienced when you met Oscar, and you were quite a shy person.
Which is why Oscar was so shocked when he found what appeared to be a list of your kinks just sitting there when he got up to make his morning coffee.
Fun fact, this request was sent over a month ago, and i only have a couple more to do before i can get to my own stuff lmao
Warnings: innocent reader, Smut, PinV sex, rough sex, dirty talk, mention of lots of kinks n stuff
Part 2
He hadn’t meant to get a glimpse into the inner workings of your sexual psyche, but really, who leaves something like that on the kitchen counter???
As he read it over and over again, his cock twitched in interest and got progressively harder until he put it down, the words seared onto his brain forever.
He tried to have a cold shower but just ended up jerking off furiously to completion imagining doing all the things from your list.
But as soon as he got out of the shower and dried off, he realized he was still achingly hard. He decided to put on a pair of his loosest joggers and go about his day while he waited for you to come back from work.
It wasn’t easy, but he managed to answer a whole two emails, internally debating the moral implications of communicating with his bosses while sporting an erection.
Then he jerked off again.
It did take the edge off for a bit, but every time he thought about it during the day he couldn’t help but fist his cock at the thought of all your filthy fantasies.
When you got home, you didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, and you did your usual routine: shower, skincare, dinner with a glass of wine, followed by watching something with Oscar, the two of you huddled up together on the couch.
That’s when you started noticing Oscar’s behaviour.
It was very subtle, but you could tell he wasn’t at all focused on the movie, periodically fidgeting around uncharacteristically. Oscar was usually very settled, and tonight it was like he couldn’t keep still for more than 30 seconds. You also noticed his breathing was irregular, often getting shallower as he fidgeted.
Oscar couldn’t care less about what was happening on the screen, his brain was focused on the same thing it had been all day, that damn list.
And he’d been hard all day, which certainly didn’t help his internal crisis.
“Oscar” you sighed, pausing the movie “Talk to me, tell me what’s going on with you tonight”
“Nothing’s wrong, why would there be something wrong?” his mouth said, but his flushed cheeks were proof that he was hiding something.
If looks could kill, the one you gave him would have certainly done the trick.
“I… full honesty?” he asked quietly.
You nodded “Full honesty”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “Okay, but you can’t get mad at me”
You narrowed your eyes at him “That’s not a promise I can make, but I’ll do my best”
He bit his lip before taking your hands in his.
“I uh… I found your list”
You just stared at him. “What list?”
“This one…” he took the piece of paper out of his pocket where it had been burning a metaphorical hole in his hip ever since he’d found it.
He handed it to you, but you didn’t need to unfold it to know what it was. I was a bright pink piece of paper that had been ripped out of your diary the night before.
You completely froze, panic overtaking you.
“Oh my god. Oscar…” You couldn’t look him in the eyes as you tried to explain “you weren’t meant to find that I’m so sorry! I was going to throw it away this morning and I guess I put it down and completely forgot about it. Fuck- please don’t think I’m weird or whatever and just forget about it, okay? Please?”
You put your head in your hands and whined in distress. This couldn’t be happening. Your loving boyfriend had just learned about your depraved fantasies, and he was never going to see you the same way again.
“I can’t forget about it baby, I spent the entire day jerking off about it”
You head snapped up to finally look into his eyes, your jaw hanging in disbelief. You could tell he was dead serious and your gaze slowly trailed downwards towards his pants, where you could tell he was hard, then back up to his face to find him biting his lip so hard it was turning white.
“you- what?”
“Sweetheart, I got so hard when I read it, I almost got in my car to come and get you from work. I want to do every thing on that list with you” he leaned closer to you and whispered “Every. Single. Thing.”
His arm wrapped around you and pulled you closer to him, lips coming to brush against your neck. “especially number 3…”
You glanced at the list, seeing what he was referring to and gasped.
“Oscar!”
He chuckled into the crook of your neck.
“Who knew you were so dirty, hmm? Where have you been hiding all this time?”
“I- I didn’t know how to ask” you stuttered as he nipped at the skin of your shoulder.
“That right? Well ask me now, then” he said and you frowned in confusion.
“What?”
“Ask me. Go down the list, and ask me to do those things to you…”
His lips trailed down your body and his hands pushed you to lay down on the sofa as you spluttered in confusion. “I don’t- what?”
“What’s the first thing on the list?” he asked, he knew of course, but he needed to hear you say it.
You blushed, checking the list.
“Choking…”
“Then ask me to choke you”
You shuddered as his mouth continued downwards and his hands spread your legs, one of them pushing your flimsy pyjama shorts to the side to expose you to him.
“Oscar what-“
“I want to see how wet you get just from saying it, go on then.” He ordered and you keened as a finger dipped through your barely moist folds.
“I want you… to uhm” your blush deepened and Oscar smiled at you condescendingly.
“Go on baby, you can do it”
You gulped.
“I want you to choke me” you squeezed your eyes shut at the admission, but Oscar was having none of it.
“Now fucking look at me and ask me again”
You gasped and your eyes flew open to look at him.
“I want you to choke me!”
“Good girl” he stroked your thigh “Next thing?”
You glanced at the list still clutched tightly in you hands.
“Spanking.”
Oscar cocked his head to the side. “What about spanking?”
Your jaw clenched, the fucker knew how to get what he wanted.
“I want you to spank me”
He smiled and nodded for you to continue.
“I want you to fuck me over the balcony for everyone to see” you said, and Oscar’s pupils dilated as he used his fingers to spread you open for him.
“Yeah? Want everyone to see how fucking filthy you actually are?” You whined as his thumb came to dip inside you briefly before rubbing it in slow circles over your clit.
“I want you to degrade and praise me…”
He felt like he was barely holding on to his sanity at this point.
“That’s so hot, fuck.” He palmed himself through his sweats “You want to be my good girl yeah? Want to be my good little slut? Only thing you’re good for anyway…”
You whimpered, his words making your whole body heat up, and took a deep breath before continuing.
“I want you to fuck my mouth”
He had to grip himself through his pants to ground himself, your words having an enormous effect on his composure.
Where had his sweet little innocent girlfriend gone?
“I’ll fuck your mouth baby, make you fucking drool for it, god you’d look so pretty taking me down your throat”
You were definitely wet now, and he took the liberty of sliding a finger inside you and hooking it upwards just to watch you squirm as he rubbed that special spot inside you.
“I want you to tie me up and force me to take it” you said breathlessly.
The noise he let out at that was animalistic as his wide eyes found yours and his jaw went slack as he pulled his pants down just enough to get a hand around himself.
“You have no idea how hot you’d look all tied up and helpless under me baby, it’s making me so hard just thinking about it..”
You moaned as he added a second finger inside you.
“I want, fuck- I want you to use me, and fill me up with your cum whenever you want”
“Shit.” He hissed “Fuck baby, I’m going to fill you up so good, you'll see…”
“Please”
You hadn’t realised how close you were getting, but Oscar’s expert fingers were making you delirious as you continued.
“I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t walk, want to cry from how good you feel inside me, wanna beg for your cock”
Oscar growled and pulled his fingers out.
“Then beg”
He settled over you, putting his weight on you, his dick resting against your folds as he panted into your mouth.
“Beg for my cock, slut”
You were so fucking turned on. Dominant Oscar was something new, but so, so incredibly hot you would have done absolutely anything to have him inside you at that moment.
“Please, please Osc, I need it. I need your cock so bad, please!”
He growled and slid in to the hilt without warning, making you moan into the heated kiss he was currently giving you to distract you. He was thick and the stretch was delicious as his cock dragged along your walls, making you see stars.
He started a deep, hard pace and his hips slapped against yours, obscene sounds filling the room.
“Fuck baby, so fucking wet for me. This what you wanted all along? For me to fucking ruin you on my cock?”
“Yes, Oscar, fuck!”
He chuckled darkly.
“That’s a good girl, so fucking tight, You’re getting close aren’t you? I can sweet your sweet pussy clenching around me, trying to keep me inside...”
He gripped your hips harder and angled his thrusts upwards, nailing your g-spot, and you were a goner. White spots danced in your vision as the pleasure overcame you, cunt spasming around Oscar.
“Perfect, perfect cunt. And it’s all fucking mine” he growled as he finally spilled inside you, filling you to the brim and forcing a pathetic whimper out of you at the new feeling.
Oscar had never come inside you before, and it was insanely hot. The feeling of your slick, hot walls pulsing around him was pure heaven and he couldn’t wait to test everything on that list.
After you’d regained your breath, you chuckled silently to yourself while stroking Oscar's back.
If this is what you got for leaving your list out, maybe you should tell Oscar about your box of toys in the in the back of your closet…
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present day
if every day will be like this from now on, i'll look forward to every single one.
ok. Sits down. help meeee i tried using csp's comic tools for once (and also gradient maps + coloring w monochrome) to save time bUT I ENDED UP SPENDING THE USUAL AMT ANYWAY SO. . erm. WELL IT WAS FUN ANYWAYS
hiiiiiiiii i wrote this script 4 months ago nd finally did it (had this on the backburner for 20 million yrs bc i wanted to get out other angst bullshit first)
the parallels of goro's back (x3) on the first 2 pgs are kinda not 1:1 as i'd like but REGARDLESS i still like them. goro, who had utmost control over his life, running it like a machine, regardless of how he feels or if he's tired or if he wants to give up.......he was in control. knowing, of course, that his life is on the line at every waking moment, but since he was always on edge, always alert, he was still in control.
but now, surviving the long winter and coming out to the other side, he's lost that control AND that edge. now what is he left with? what is there left?
very speficially in the 2nd page.... i think its so <3 YAY <3 that goro, now, doesn't feel the need to take such spic-and-span clean-cut care of his appearance.., guy who rolls out of bed and throws on a shirt to go hangout w akira and sumire. he decides to tie up his hair and forgoes his gloves... feels more "comfortable" to change his apperance, to let down his guard a little. <- was the rough symbolism JKDSHKFS
sumire getting the choco croissant but letting goro have the first bite YEAHHHH WHATEVER
4th page symbolism is also rough i didnt think abt it too hard LMAO. 3rdsem goro watching his detective prince self leave. he knows acutely well that chapter of his life is over - whether he survives the long winter or dies in it. all that he knew - even though it was miserable and awful and frustrating and dangerous - is gone.
and now there's just this: the present day. whatever that means.
i think something important to me abt royal trio is just the idea of Learning To Just Exist: no need for a "purpose" or a "calling" or some overarching "goal". they just learn to exist.
and of course none of them really have a benchmark for "wow i like this i want to live like this" so they just roll with the punches, as they always have, but yknow. finally getting to live their honest student life as they always deserved
edit: and most importantly for goro, i think, is learning to cut himself some slack. "despite everything" he says, despite all the shit he's endured AND all the shit he's done, he feels like this is "right." whatever that means, he's ready to take it day by day to figure it out. AND THATS THE WHOLE THING Punches wall really hard
edit: I ALSO FORGOT. i think the sentiment of "being waited for" for goro means a lot. since he had to do everything by himself, fight for himself, decide everything for himself frm such a young age, the idea of akira and sumire waiting for him, inviting him out simply for him to be there -> is really meaningful to him, more than they could know.
edit AGAIN: also goro sleeping in means a lot to me. i imagine that guy has pretty terrible insomnia. ALSO HE HAS A BEDFRAME! i like the thought of his apartment being so /r/malelivingspaces throughout the game. he doesn’t deserve a bedframe. BUT HE HAS ONE NOW!
goros expressions in the last page gve me a hard time. sparkly....
also im SO freaking sorry if his voice isnt too well-written... i had a crisis over the wording while draiwng htis so much DSKHASKDASJK AND THE PANELING AND WHATEVERRR IDEK WHAT IM DOINGGG but it was fun!!!! exploratory..... regardless i will keep workign to do him and royaltrio justice. THUMBSUP EMOJI.
#4am again no problem. chokes#goro akechi#sumire yoshizawa#akira kurusu#persona 5 royal#royal trio#shuakesumi#cele draws#long winter#<- technically but its also good w canonverse#cele comics
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Good Vibrations Two
This AU got a lot more attention than I expected actually hfjdks I'm so glad everyone likes it!
Anyway, here's part two! We get some concert, some peeks at how Robin helps Steve navigate social situations, and a little Eddie having an itsy-bitsy crisis over Steve's fashion choices.
Have fun! And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't (especially for this one since I wrote most of it on my phone actually lmao)
----
Steve stares at the shirts laid out on his bed, arms crossed over his chest. Choosing jeans had been easy, but choosing a shirt is giving him trouble. What do you wear to a metal show at the local dive bar for a small-town band in which the lead singer is a long-time and way-out-of-your-league crush that you've been holding a candle for since the first time you saw him laugh on top of a cafeteria table?
You definitely don't show up in a plain black shirt, that's for sure.
The lights in the hall outside Steve's room flicker, switching off and on three times. Steve just barely notices, which means he doesn't get his pants scared off when Robin appears in the doorway, grinning at him while pocketing the key to the front door he'd given her months ago into a messenger bag. "Hey, dingus," she says, striding into the room and flopping onto the bed.
Steve rolls his eyes, yanking the shirts out from under her and laying them once more over Robin's stomach and legs. "What shirt should I wear?" he asks.
It takes a few seconds for Steve to look from the shirts to Robin, and she patiently waits until he's staring at her to say, "Just pick one. Nobody's gonna care what you're wearing."
"I care," Steve says, frowning as he looks back at the shirts. For the aforementioned crush reason, Steve cares very much about the shirt he wears. "What says 'Hi, we've never talked before but your music is the only thing I can hear and I think your hair is in desperate need of quality shampoo and also I've been halfway in love with you since, like, sophomore year'?"
Robin considers the question for a long moment before picking up a red sweater. "This one says 'I'm horny'," she offers.
Steve blinks, staring at the sweater for a few beats before laughing. "But I'm not," he says.
Despite looking at Robin, she happens to angle her head toward the sweater, and her response is lost on Steve. He frowns, waits until her jaw has stopped moving, and says, "I didn't get that."
After Robin first learned about Steve's deafness, he'd been overly anxious about asking her to repeat things. Somehow, it was worse to constantly ask when the person knew he couldn't hear well, if at all. But Robin had never shown annoyance; she'd just adjust her posture, make sure Steve could see her lips, and repeat her words. She does all of this now, and Steve gets to read her joking response, "Yeah, but you will be."
And, yeah, she has him there. Steve huffs and collapses onto the bed beside her, sacrificing the shirts. "I'll need a jacket," he says, turning his head to look at Robin so he can read her response.
Instead of words, though, he sees her face light up, and she jumps off the bed. Steve sits up, watching as she digs in her messenger bag before pulling out a t-shirt. "Remember when I stayed over a few weeks ago? And you let me borrow a shirt? You should wear it!"
Thankfully, Robin waits until she's done talking to throw the shirt in Steve's face. Honestly, he only understood a few words ("remember," "borrow," and "wear") but he's gathered enough context clues to get the gist of things.
He spreads the shirt out, humming at the Iron Maiden design. It's not one he wears often; for the most part, it's a shirt he wears on lazy days at home because of how soft it is. But as he's studying the design, Steve is suddenly hit with a stroke of pure genius.
He quickly changes into the shirt and then grabs a varsity jacket (not his letterman, but one he'd seen at the mall and bought on a whim because it used a nice shade of yellow) off his desk, tugging it on over the shirt but leaving it unbuttoned. After a few more seconds of digging around, he finds sneakers under the bed and tugs them on.
"Okay," he says, turning so Robin can see the outfit from every angle. He comes to a stop when he's facing her once more, hands buried in his jacket pockets, and asks, "What do you think? How's it look?"
"I think you'll give Eddie a crisis," Robin replies, wrinkling her nose at the varsity jacket. "Not, like, a bad one. But he'll probably ask where you got the shirt from."
Steve grins, thinking that sounds about perfect, and turns to study himself in the mirror. It's a surprisingly solid blend of metal and jock, and it makes him feel oddly confident, the same way he felt the first time he did his hair just right and everyone complimented it.
"Perfect," he decides. "Let's go."
----
The ride to the Hideout isn't exactly quiet, but it's not like Steve can talk and drive at the same time. So it's filled with music blasted as high as it can go on his car stereo, causing the whole vehicle to vibrate with each beat. When he finally turns the car off after parking, Robin grimaces as she rubs her ears.
She waits for Steve to be in front of her before saying, "We're putting the windows down next time."
"Oh. Sorry," Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly as Robin dismissively waves off his apology.
"No, it's fine, I'm just saying. Now, let's get inside before they start."
With that, she loops her arm through Steve's and drags him into the Hideout. They're hit with a wave of cigarette smoke, spilled beer, and sweat as they walk through the door, the combined smells making Steve dizzy. He frowns, leaning closer to Robin as she squeezes his arm. He feels her thumb tap him twice, their code for asking if the other is okay.
"I'm fine," he mumbles, nodding to a table in the corner. "Let's go sit. I just need to get used to...everything."
The lights are weird, too. Despite the place being dim, the few lights that are on are flickering, and Steve is having trouble processing all the new information his (working) senses are taking in.
Thankfully, Robin pulls him over to the table he pointed to, a small circle near a stage of dubious sturdiness. It looks like it can barely hold the instruments, much less those plus the people who will play them. There's an amp on the side of the stage near the table, which means they'll have the perfect spot to feel the music's vibrations. Steve slides into one of the chairs there and closes his eyes, resting his arms on a table that is surprisingly not sticky.
He feels Robin move the other chair next to him, slide in, and start pulling things out of her bag. When Steve opens his eyes again, there's a notebook between them and a variety of pens in all different colors spread out across the open pages. Robin has already picked up a red pen and is writing with it as Steve chooses a purple one.
When Robin is done writing, she taps the page so Steve can read, "Want something to drink?"
"I'm not sure we can trust the glasses here," he writes back.
"The fact you're calling them "glasses" tells me everything. Just sit tight."
With that, Robin drops her pen, winks at Steve, and heads over to the bar where a woman is wiping the counter. Steve watches her for a few seconds before looking around at the other people in the place. Most of them are sitting in groups, talking amongst themselves. Most of them also have mustaches or beards, making it downright impossible for Steve to read their lips.
Instead, Steve just gets a dull kind of rush in his ears, an ever-present background noise he can't escape. Soon enough, maybe because he's thinking about it too much, a high-pitched ringing starts up in his right ear, growing and growing in pitch until it's all he can focus on. Steve grimaces and looks down at the notebook, trying to keep his shoulders relaxed so he doesn't look as tense as he feels. The ringing persists, and he rubs his ear like that's going to help.
His ear is still ringing, though it has started to diminish, when a water bottle is placed in front of him. Steve jerks, forcing himself to calm down as Robin slides into her seat again with a mug of beer that's more foam than anything else. "They're about to start," she says, waiting until Steve has nodded once to show understanding before taking a sip.
Steve looks up at the stage and wonders how he missed Eddie and his friends arriving. As his friends are setting up behind him, Eddie is resting one hand on the neck of his guitar and using the other to hold the mic close to his mouth. Steve can't read his lips, but Eddie's grin is a little contagious as he says something to a guy by the bar. The guy must say something back, because Eddie bursts out laughing, his head thrown back to show off a neck Steve wants to bite.
A tap on his arm brings his attention away, and he looks at the notebook to see Robin has scrawled out a transcript:
"Eddie: Thanks for coming out tonight, everyone
Guy: Fuck off, Munson
Eddie: Love you, too, Jeremy"
Steve snorts, looking up to see Robin's equally amused smile as she continues to write on another page. When he glances at the stage, Steve sees Eddie still talking into the mic, his eyes roaming over the audience until they reach Steve and Robin. Eddie seems to grip the mic tighter, and he holds Steve's eyes for a few seconds, giving just enough time for Steve to wave awkwardly before Eddie looks away. But his smile seems a little bigger than before, and Steve is happy to let himself think he caused it.
When he looks down again, Robin has finished writing, and she nudges the notebook closer to him. Eddie must talk fast, because her writing is almost indistinguishable from chicken scratch in dirt that a cat got dragged through. Thankfully, Steve is an expert at this point.
"Eddie: Anyway, you know the drill. We'll start with some Metallica, treat you to Iron Maiden, throw in a dash of Black Sabbath, and then grace you with a Corroded Coffin original. If you don't like it, not my problem."
Steve feels the beginning of the set as he finishes reading. He sits a little straighter, planting his feet firmly on the floor and placing his palms on the table with his fingers spread. Robin is still writing next to him, most likely transcribing the bits and pieces of conversation she can hear for Steve to read later and laugh at. She doesn't try to get his attention while she does, already knowing it won't be worth it after Steve has shifted into Music Mode.
In the same way that people can tell what song is playing based simply on the first note, Steve can sometimes tell based on the strength and length of the first vibration. In the same way people know the lyrics of songs after listening to them enough times, Steve knows the vibration patterns like the back of his hand. In the same way people who hear their favorite songs played live can tell when a note is wrong or a lyric is sung too fast, Steve can tell when the drummer or bassist makes tiny mistakes that wouldn't be caught otherwise.
And Steve loves it. He loves how his entire body thrums with each vibration that travels from the amp. He loves how he can close his eyes and picture a story based on the music, one that probably doesn't match the lyrics but tends to replace them in his heart. He loves that this is something he can still share with his friends, even if most of them don't realize how different his experience with music is.
So, for all the little bumps and dips that occur in the vibrations as Corroded Coffin plays, for all the tiny slips that certainly go unnoticed by anyone else, and for all the fact that Steve doesn't get to hear Eddie's voice, he can confidently say he loves the show. He's never heard the songs played like this before, and it helps diminish the gut-deep desperation for new music.
And then Corroded Coffin starts a new song. It's one Steve doesn't recognize, one with vibrations that are completely foreign to him, and he jerks his head up to watch Eddie play his guitar in an opening solo. It thrums across the floor, climbing up his legs and spreading in waves from his palms on the table. Steve feels goosebumps chase after it, a new wave washing over him when the guitar solo ends with a particularly strong vibration that's immediately followed by the drums and bass.
Eddie throws himself into the music, moving and twisting and strutting around the stage like he's playing to Madison Square Garden. Steve can't look away, the lyrics incomprehensible but replaced by the jerk of Eddie's hips and the tilt of his head and the little half-spin he does on his heel.
It ends too quickly with one final, reverberating strum that lingers in Steve's bones, burrowing into his marrows as Eddie pushes his hair back and grins into the mic. He says something breathlessly, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly as he tries to catch his breath, and Steve knows he's gone.
He's hopeless.
He's desperate.
He needs more Corroded Coffin, more Eddie, in whatever form he can get.
----
For the first time, Corroded Coffin gets genuine applause after playing. Usually, the patrons of the Hideout will politely clap (if they even notice the set is over) for about two seconds. Tonight, however, Eddie and his friends are graced with excited clapping, a few shouts, and one very strong whistle from a small table to the left of the stage. And it spreads because even rough biker dudes can fall to peer pressure when it's that enthusiastic.
So, yeah, genuine applause all because of Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley who, Eddie thinks, is surprising company for the former King of Hawkins High. No matter how unexpected, he should still thank them and ask what they thought of the set now that it's over. He carefully sets his guitar on a stand and glances over his shoulder, catching Jeff's gaze and flashing a grin. "I'll be right back," he says before jumping off the stage and heading over to Steve and Robin's table.
As he gets closer, he notices the notebook and pens spread out, colorful writing filling the pages and Steve grinning with amusement as he reads it. Robin is watching him like she's waiting for him to understand an inside joke already so they can laugh about it together. If Eddie didn't already know Robin was like him (band camp, summer after his junior year, during an unfortunate game of Seven Minutes in Heaven where they awkwardly stood in a closet together before Robin commented on his black bandana), he'd wonder if something was going on between them.
"How'd you like the set?" Eddie asks when he reaches the table, suddenly nervous enough to tug on a lock of his hair and pull it in front of his mouth.
Robin looks up, but Steve doesn't. He's still reading the notebook, snorting at whatever is written there like he didn't hear Eddie. It's not until Robin elbows him that he raises his head, eyes widening when he sees Eddie. "Sorry, could you repeat that?" Steve asks, his gaze dropping to Eddie's mouth (Eddie definitely isn't imagining that) and faltering some.
"I asked if you liked the set," Eddie says, frowning slightly as Robin grabs a pen and scribbles something on the notebook. It's too small for him to read, but he doesn't miss how Steve glances down for less than a second before his eyes light up with realization.
"Oh!" he says, looking back at Eddie and flashing a charming grin. "It was great. You guys are so loud, and I've never f-uh, heard anything like your original song before."
Eddie catches the way Steve fumbles, faltering like he wanted to say one word but forced himself to say another. Something is tugging at the back of Eddie's mind, but he can't quite grab onto it just yet. For now, he leans forward, placing both hands on the table so he can be closer to Steve. "You listen to metal often, Harrington?" he asks.
Steve stares at his mouth for a few seconds before nodding, and Eddie feels the thrill of learning something completely unexpected. "I like Black Sabbath best, but Judas Priest and Guns N' Roses are close seconds," Steve says.
"Yeah?" Eddie asks, "What do you like most about it?" He wants to know. Does Steve Harrington (King Steve, Steve "The Hair" Harrington, Steve fucking Harrington) like metal for the same reasons he does? Does he like the stories and the passion and the heavy theatricality of it all?
Steve seems to hesitate, possibly thinking about how to answer, before finally saying, "I like how it's music I can feel. When I listen to metal, it digs into my bones. Other music doesn't."
Somehow, Eddie's grin gets impossibly wider, and his cheeks are hurting from the sheer force of it. He's about to say more when Robin glances at the clock and swears under her breath. "Shit, I promised Mom I'd be home ten minutes ago," she says, grabbing the pens and recklessly throwing them into her bag.
It's the movement that seems to catch Steve's attention, and he looks down at Robin's hands before looking up at the clock. "Oh, fuck, your curfew," he says, looking at Robin like she hadn't just said the same thing two seconds ago.
"Yeah, no shit, dingus," Robin says, pausing long enough to speak while looking straight at Steve before throwing the notebook into her bag, too. She jumps to her feet and hauls Steve out of the chair, making his varsity jacket fall open to reveal an Iron Maiden shirt.
And Eddie thinks his heart just about stops. He doesn't know why, but seeing Steve in a metal band shirt under an undeniably jock jacket makes him feel....something. This is, like, sacrilege, right? How dare Steve Harrington allow Metal and Jock to meet? Doesn't he know the two styles clash? Or, well, they're supposed to clash, but Steve somehow wears them well, and Eddie thinks he's upset and annoyed by the fact.
Before Eddie can analyze that feeling, Steve says, "Sorry to run, Eddie. You played really well. Let me know when the next show is."
There's a lot to unpack there, too. Steve Harrington wants to come to another Corroded Coffin gig. Steve Harrington is sorry he has to cut the conversation short. Steve Harrington thinks his band played really well. Before Eddie can say anything in response, Robin is dragging Steve away, throwing a goodbye over her shoulder.
Eddie doesn't want Steve to go without something, though, some kind of departing word, so he shouts, "See ya later, big boy!"
Steve doesn't look back, but Robin nearly trips over the doorway. She then pauses long enough to say something to Steve, watching with sheer delight as he splutters and glances at Eddie before dragging her through the door. Eddie couldn't stop the grin if he tried, and he didn't try.
Later, when Eddie is sprawled on the floor of his room, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Steve's stupid combination of Metal and Jock, he'll be struck by a sudden, consuming thought. What if Steve was wearing just the Iron Maiden shirt? What if he wore just the jacket?
Eddie swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, his mouth going dry as he scrambles to his feet and gets ready to take a very, very cold shower.
----
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#steddie#steddie fic#steddie fluff#good vibrations steddie#deaf steve harrington#eddie munson#robin buckley#steve harrington#stranger things#my writing
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can you write sounding with one of the yan boys or ignoring them because of something?
GIVING SUPERFAN! AND STALKER! YANDERE BOYS THE COLD SHOULDER HCS
WARNINGS: obsessiveness, sfw, some slight su!c!de references, bayani is basically a servant and victor needs a therapist, just overall unhealthy behavior cuz they're yanderes. (i do not condone yanderes irl and this is for writing purposes) gender neutral reader, no use of y/n.
A/N: hey guys i just found out my best friend might be dating my ex bf (that made me hide in my house for a year) which is funny bc he told me "not to worry about her" while we were dating. and my birthday is in 2 hours so it's quite an unfortunate time to find out that they've apparently been dating for a few months. if it's true, then whatever LMFAOOO now she's gotta deal with him and it ain't my problem. also thanks for 1k followers, you guys are awesome!! sorry for not updating much, i just don't have a lot of motivation these days
if you ignored bayani...
bro do you *want* him to jump off a cliff???
he is panicking. he is having a CRISIS
bayani lives to please you. if he's talking to you and you just ignored him for whatever reason, he would be heartbroken. absolutely crushed.
he would attempt to ask what's wrong, and fix it as soon as possible. as much as he enjoys being mistreated by you, he'd hate for you to be upset with him for an extended period of time.
his first instinct is to fix whatever he did wrong. he would automatically blame himself, even if it wasn't actually his fault.
he always seeks your love and validation. if you were to ignore him, he would literally sink into the floor and die.
if you forgive him and stop ignoring him, he would be overjoyed. and he'd be less clingy, and a lot more careful around you. he wouldn't want you to get mad at him ever again. that would be his worst nightmare. if you want him to return to his old self, let him know he can be clingy again. if you don't, he'll remain cautious around you for the rest of his life. he just wants you to be happy with him. he can hold himself back from showing too much affection if it means you'll approve of him.
if you ignored victor...
yeah no he's not having it lmao
he'd be so butthurt. and unlike bayani, victor would be very annoying and start hanging around you more. usually he lets you do the talking, or follows you around from a far distance. but if you started ignoring him, he'd become more talkative just to piss you off.
he hates being ordered around, so he's not gonna let you stop him from interacting with you. he's gonna keep talking to you and hanging around you no matter what.
it'd take about a week for him to get agitated. he'd wonder what he did wrong, and try to ignore his insecurities by pushing them on you. instead of drowning in his sorrow, he'd turn it into anger and blame you. you're the one being unreasonable, he did nothing wrong. of course he doesn't believe that, but that's what he would convince himself. he would rather take his anger out on you, the love of his life, rather than admit how unhappy he is with himself and how he treats others.
he'd find ways to punish you for your behavior. as much as he loves you, he won't accept any disrespect. he takes it as a huge blow to his (very fragile) ego.
BUT if you gave up and started talking to him again, he'd get a huge ego boost. of course you'd talk to him again, he's just irresistible! this was totally expected... even though he was crying in his bedroom every night wondering why you weren't talking to him and got very insecure, wondering what he did to make you mad at him. would he ever confess this, though? nope.
he's too prideful to admit that he missed your voice and attention, but he'd show how sorry he is by helping you with chores and work. if you bring it up, he'll say something along the lines of: "i'm not doing this because i'm sorry... i just think you weren't doing it right. i know how to do it better."
this insecure and bratty ass man child would rather sit naked on a hot grill than verbally say sorry lmao
#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere#yandere boys x popstar reader#male yandere x reader#soft yandere#sub yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere oc#male yandere#oc x reader#yandere boy#yandere oc x reader#yandere oneshot#yandere bf#obsessive yandere#my ocs#masochist yandere
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