#havent touched my guitar since i stopped the adhd meds
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hmm
feel like I've lost myself somewhere but not sure where and what to do about it
#shut up ray#its so annoying cos i have all these things ive wanted for so long#i should be happy and be able to do the things i want to do#but i dont want to do anything#i feel so much anxiety every day abt how few hrs i have to do all the things in#but then i just put everything off#because i cant get myself to do it#havent touched my guitar since i stopped the adhd meds#they were great at focusing me#but only for a few weeks then idk i started to feel wrong#like i wasn't myself anymore#but even after stopping i still feel kinda off?#rlly hoped my ongoing identity crisis wouldve stopped by now...#is this just what your 20s are??#ive heard ppl mention it lmao#just rlly feel like im lagging behind again#but this time i dont even know what im lagging in#ive achieved all the achievable life goals#i dont rlly have any other goals#i wonder if it hadnt been for the gender bullshit i couldve gotten this identity crisis over with earlier#perhaps in my teens when everyone else seemed to be figuring shit out??#but i just seemed to be delayed over and over again on the whole teen development years deal#ugh idk man#cant even keep hold of friends anymore#i think i have one#count em ONE#at this time. and i dont seem to be much of a priority anymore#i worry that i may have finally started succeeding in pushing even her away#someone who forced her way into my life back in 2011 and has refused to leave it#fucking hate this asocial shit ive inherited from my parents
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