#haikyuu memes
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tskym warmups for the soul !!
#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu art#haikyuu fanart#kurasuno#tsukkiyama#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#yamatsukki#doodles#haikyuu memes
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MSBY BLACK JACKALS READ THIRST TWEETS ! (SAKUSA EDITION)
will probably make this a series. i just love this team so darn much *sigh*
[atsumu version]
this fic features…
haikyuu timeskip!spoilers, highly suggestive content (as the title entails), inappropriate language, sus atsumu 🤨, genre: crack, some of these are actual tweets i found lol.
Set the scene: the MSBY quartet shuffle into frame, they each take their seat in front of the iconic blue backdrop. You hear Hinata and Bokuto exchanging lively words, Atsumu fixing his hair so it swooshes the right way, and Sakusa removing his face mask and handing it to their team’s pr manager who accompanied them to this shoot.
“Is one of us gonna say it or are we all gonna say it together?” Hinata asks, looking at his teammates.
“I think we should all say it,” Atsumu replies, to which Sakusa nods in agreement.
Bokuto claps his hands together, getting excited. “Let’s do this!”
- cut scene -
“Hi, we’re the MSBY Black Jackals and we’re here with Buzzfeed to read your thirst tweets!” They say in unison.
Bokuto makes a jazz hands gesture, “Sakusa Kiyoomi edition~” he sings, as Hinata bounces in his chair and Atsumu slaps Sakusa’s back in an attempt to hype up the outside hitter.
Sakusa sighs and lets out a defeated chuckle, “Lord, help me…”
- cut scene -
The crew tosses Sakusa a phone, he catches it easily and takes a deep breath before reading.
“I need MSBY’s #15 to bend that flexible hand inside my bussy. Please and thank you.”
Sakusa quirks a confused brow, “What’s a bussy?”
Atsumu snickers. Hinata smiles, “Well, at least we know Omi-kun isn’t chronically online.”
Bokuto puts an arm around Sakusa’s chair, knowing better than to drape it around him or else he’d throw a cold glare his way. “I told you to get on Tiktok, Omi.”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, “I am not getting that dancing app, Bokuto.”
Bokuto’s lips funnel into a pout, “Then how are you gonna learn the language of the people?”
“What, like bussy?”
Atsumu childishly laughs again. “Haha…bussy…”
Sakusa tsks, “Are you gonna tell me what it is already or what?”
Hinata sighs and puts his hands together, “I am sorry to tell you this, Omi-kun, but it means—“
“Butt pussy!” Atsumu blurts out, unable to hold it in any longer. “Like a boy’s pussy, Omi-Omi. Get it?”
Sakusa’s expression is one that makes it look like he was in physical pain, which he might as well be in at the moment. He side eyes Bokuto, “That’s the so-called language of your people?”
“It’s funnier when Miya isn’t combusting.”
Sakusa sighs, “I’m not using that word, let alone using my flexible wrists for it.” He says before he passes the phone to Hinata, who reads the next tweet:
“Dear Sakusa Kiyoomi, *taps mic and clears throat* NO LUBE, NO PROTECTION, ALL NIGHT, ALL DAY, FROM THE KITCHEN FLOOR TO THE BATHROOM SINK, FROM THE DINING TABLE TO THE BEDROOM—“
Hinata lowers the phone and says, “That’s it. That’s the tweet.”
Atsumu wolf whistles and Bokuto hoots while shaking his head. Hinata is biting his thumb, trying NOT to burst out in laughter.
Sakusa blinks once, twice, before speaking up. “That’s…wow that sounds filthy.”
Atsumu barks with laughter, “Literally!”
Sakusa’s eyes widen in horror, “The bathroom?? Seriously? I get the other places, but really? The dirty bath—“
Bokuto intervenes, “Woah woah there Omi, you get the other places?”
Hinata snickers, “You hiding your freaky side from us, Omi-kun?”
Sakusa groans, dragging his hands over his face. “Please, let’s not discuss this on Youtube dot com”. He recovers and clears his throat, looking right at the camera, “Make wise choices, censored user.”
Hinata passes the phone to Atsumu. The blond setter chuckles before he even reads it out loud, Sakusa already feels the dread awaiting him.
“It’s the broad shoulders and tiny waist and the compression sleeves and the undershirt and the butt and that neck and those curls and his eyes,” Atsumu reads through breathless laughter.
He turns the phone around so that his teammates can see the screen, “And then, they attached a screenshot from a manga that simply transcribes ‘cock sucking noises’!” He wheezes, nearly dropping the phone.
Bokuto’s mouth hangs open but no noise comes out as he struggles to catch his breath, leaning his weight into Atsumu who is just as equally—if not more—cracked than he is. Hinata is busy hiding his face with his hands as he laughs, nearly folding himself up from how far he’s leaning down from his seat. Sakusa is watching his teammates loss their minds as he begins to question his life choices that led him to this moment.
Sakusa sighs, “There will be no cock sucking noises, but thank you for the compliment.”
Atsumu begins to recover, “Oh man…” he wipes a tear, “Omi-Omi, stand up and let ‘em see that slutty waist of yours.”
Sakusa shoots Atsumu a deadly look. Bokuto cheers to encourage Sakusa, while Hinata can’t help but glance at Sakusa’s waist.
“Allow me to correct myself; there will be no cock sucking noises nor will there be any showing offs of the slutty waist.”
Atsumu and Bokuto boo, Sakusa rolls his eyes at their reaction. Hinata winks at the camera, “But there will be some slutty waists in next week’s Calvin Klein feature that Sakusa did.”
Sakusa hums, “Yeah, so save those thoughts until then.”
Atsumu passes the phone back to Bokuto, who mumbles: “C’mon give me a good one…”
Bokuto clears his throat, “Sakusa Kiyoomi might be an outside hitter for MSBY, but i need him to be an INSIDE HITTER for this pus—“, he turns to the camera, “They cut themselves off there.”
Sakusa winces at those words. Hinata laughs, “I like the play on words.”
Sakusa adjusts his posture, “That would be very painful, no?”
Atsumu clarifies, “I think that’s what they want, Omi-Omi.”
Bokuto rubs his chin in thought, “Sakusa hits spikes pretty hard…I can’t imagine how hard he could go inside user-san’s—“
Sakusa waves his hand panickedly, “Please don’t finish that sentence.” He glances at their pr manager, who—by some unexplainable miracle—hasn’t said anything so far.
Sakusa clears his throat, “Unless the pay is higher, I will not be changing my position to your inside hitter, sorry. Actually, I lied; I am not sorry.”
The phone gets passed back to Sakusa, “Sakusa Kiyoomi has 47 moles and I intend to suck each and every one of them off his body.”
Hinata giggles mischievously, “Miya-san, did you write that?”
“I DID NOT WRITE THAT!”
Bokuto cackles, “How else did the user know the exact amount of moles on Sakusa’s body? You’re the one that’s always staring at each of us in the locker room.”
“WE DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THAT NUMBER IS ACCURATE!!”
Sakusa speaks up calmly, “It is accurate, actually.”
Atsumu goes pale at his words, “O-oh okay…but that doesn’t mean I wrote it!!!”
Sakusa disguises a laugh as a cough, “As much as I love to pick on Miya—“
“HEY!”
“—I’m still impressed that the Twitter user got that number right. Bravo.” He then applauds. Bokuto and Hinata follow. “Maybe I’ll let you do what you said since you got it right.”
Hinata elbows Sakusa suggestively, to which Sakusa repels away from his touch, “Okayyy, Omi. Get it, I guess. Need me to find the user’s number?”
“No.” Sakusa says immediately, but he’s concealing a smirk. He passes the phone to the winking orange-head.
Hinata begins to read: “For Sakusa Kiyoomi, I would bathe in 99.9% disinfectant, drink that shit, even inject myself with it—if it meant getting a shot at bagging that man.”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, already huffing. “Look, I don’t know who started the rumor that I’m a crazy germaphobe, but let me sit the record straight now: I am not that deranged; I just like things to be clean and tidy.”
Bokuto nods, crossing his arms, “Yeah, you tell ‘em, Omi!”
Atsumu shakes his head in disappointment, “Ya guys keep making Omi-Omi sound like some freak. Yeah, he wears a mask everywhere and carries hand sanitizer wherever he goes, but that’s just basic hygiene standards. Do better.”
Hinata points at the camera with his chin up, “Yeah, the only time Omi-kun is a freak is when it’s in the sheets.”
“SHOYO!”
“HINATA, HEYYY!”
Sakusa facepalms and sighs, “Give me my mask back; I’m leaving.”
“NO, OMI-KUN, WAAAAAIT . I’M SORRY—“
“This is supposed to be a thirst tweets video, and yet my teammates seem to be the thirstiest of all.” Sakusa says to no one in particular.
“Call it team-bonding. Meian would be proud.” Atsumu responds, imagining the look of approval on their captain’s face.
Sakusa tilts his head back, appearing to be praying to some god. He looks back at the camera, “But to that user, please don’t do that. That’s deadly.”
Bokuto clasps his hands together, “Awww, Omi cares~”
- cut scene -
Sakusa tosses the phone back to the crew, “And that’s all, thank god.”
Hinata grins, “Thanks for sending us your tweets and traumatizing our Omi-kun.”
Sakusa grimaces, “Ah yeah, it was a delight.” He says sarcastically.
Atsumu flashes the camera a charming smile, “Tune in for the upcoming videos of the rest of us reading your thirst tweets.”
Bokuto throws up finger guns to the camera, “Can’t wait to see what you guys have in store for us!”
“This was the MSBY Black Jackals, goodbye!”
kenjisatos
#haikyuu#haikyuu x imagines#haikyuu crack#haikyuu oneshot#msby black jackal#haikyuu time skip#haikyuu manga#haikyuu msby#haikyuu memes#msby atsumu#msby bokuto#msby hinata#msby sakusa#msby 4#msby x reader#thirst tweets#buzzfeed interview#haikyuu smau#miya atsumu#bokuto koutarou#hinata shouyou#sakusa kiyoomi#hq atsumu#haikyuu atsumu#hq bokuto#haikyuu bokuto#hq hinata#hq sakusa#haikyuu sakusa#sakusa x reader
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haikyuu airport headcanons bc im in an airport. no particular order. shipping involved.
- Daichi has never missed a flight and somehow everyone manages to make fun of him for this. never forgets to pack anything. always finds his gate on time. "lmao loser," Suga says, missing 2 bags and lost as fuck across the airport. he will not make his flight.
- Hinata and Kageyama navigating an airport is nearly a crisis. They can never agree on the right way to go and especially during layovers will often end up outside of security. The first time they travel with Tsukki + Yama as a group it's like a goddamn miracle because they dont need to rush and everything goes smoothly.
- on that topic, Tsukki and Yamaguchi have travel down to a science. these bitches have checklists and schedules and just get in and out. Tsukki keeps the boarding passes and Yamaguchi counts the bags and they split snacks on the plane and just nail the whole affair
- Noya and Asahi are the most experienced travelers and have been to so many airports and you'd think this makes them good at airports and it does not
- Ushijima has never gotten through security without being searched.
- Oikawa likes airports an unreasonable amount. Bitch thrives in liminal spaces. "Lets go check out which stores are open," he says, as Iwaizumi begs him to let him sit down and nap during their layover
- Kenma has airport anxiety. "We're going to miss our flight. What if our gate changes?" What if there's a delay?" He does not like putting his schedule into the hands of an Airline. Rightfully so, he loses his luggage an obscene amount.
- Kageyama and Hinata fighting and causing a ruckus in the airport and security has to come over to talk to them
- Tendou and Ushijima are generally really prepared and on top of things, but they just seem to have the worst luck. They got stranded at an airport during a layover for like 14 hours and went through every stage of grief. It doesnt help that Ushijima is really practical and good at accepting circumstances ("I'll just sit here and wait") but Tendou is highly emotional ("I'm going to eat the next airline associate that tries to talk to me.")
- Daichi is often seen standing alone in airports. This is because no matter who he's traveling with, he's probably waiting for them to catch up.
- Aran thought he was a good and functional adult until he saw Kita's itinerary for their travel plans and how neurotic he was about making sure everything on time. Kita will pre-measure and weigh all luggage to know exactly whats going on. Looking at airport layouts days before to memorize what needs to be done.
- Atsumu and Osamu have never made a flight on time. The best they can hope for is sprinting across the airport at full-tilt. This is a common occurance.
- Oikawa makes friends wherever he goes so he doesnt mind long layovers, he'll just sit and chat with whoever is around to pass the time, but one time he did leave with a group to check out a store without saying anything and Iwaizumi was lost for 30 minutes
- Asahi has so much anxiety with airports. Too many people. Too many deadlines. Bad vibes. One time a guy in an airport gave him incorrect directions to a gate and he missed his flight and he has never recovered.
- Kuroo "Yeah we have tons of time" Tetsurou is a menace to airport staff and has never budgeted enough time.
- Tsukki is a master at packing efficiently and this is exclusively due to wanting to avoid others complaining. He can pull basically anything out of his carry-on to prevent whining on a 5 hour flight. Yamaguchi uses him like a vending machine.
- Daichi once got mistaken for an airline worker and ended up with a whole group of people he was helping find their gates
- Bokuto loves traveling and flying. He finds it so fun and exciting. This is probably why Akaashi hates traveling and flying.
- Suga secretly likes layovers because he secretly hates planes and cannot stand sitting still for that long. He always pretends it such a hassle to have to wait but its the best part of the travel day when he gets to buy himself a muffin and bother Daichi for entertainment.
- Ushijima, Daichi, Kenma, and Asahi are all team "No PDA in an Airport!!!!!" whereas Tendou, Suga, Kuroo and Noya are all team "We have 2 hours to kill let me make out with you!!!!"
- Yamaguchi has sooooooo many reward points. Tsukishima doesnt even know what he's doing to get them, he's just a master of good deals and specials.
- Mile High Club Members: Iwaoi, Bokuaka, Ushiten, and Asanoya
- Wannabe Mile High Club Members who cannot convince their boyfriends it'll be okay: Suga
- Wannabe Mile High Club Members that will NOT admit they think about it: Yamaguchi, Hinata, Kageyama, Aran
... well im boarding soon so thanks for reading ig
#i like airports tbh#haikyuu#haikyuu ships#haikyuu memes#daisuga#ushiten#iwaoi#tsukkiyama#kagehina#bokuaka#asanoya
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Im still so haikyuumaxxed from the movie dont mind me
#bokuaka#bokuto#akaashi#akaashi keiji#bkak#bokuto koutarou#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu movie#bokuaka brainrot is so bad rn#haikyuu too but mostly bokuaka#anime#haikyuu memes#digital art
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kageyama, asahi (he wouldnt say this but he absolutely would do it if it came to it), kuroo, tsukkishima, ushijima, iwaizumi, sakusa, ukai, daichi, sugawara (except he might not actually be able to break ur jaw but what he can do is run very fast)
tsukkishima, kageyama, iwaizumi, sakusa, atsumu, osamu.
hinata, sugawara, nishinoya, atsumu, tendou pls they're all like that
hinata, tsukkishima, yachi, nishinoya, sugawara, lowkey kageyama, atsumu, tendou, takeda
daichi, asahi, sugawara, kuroo, takeda, kenma, yamaguchi, ushijima, hinata, atsumu, and tsukkishima, sakusa & kageyama but those three will NOT admit it
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq!!#hq#haikyuu shitpost#hq shitpost#haikyuu memes#hinata shoyou#hinata shoyo#kageyama tobio#ushijima wakatoshi#tendou satori#iwaizumi hajime#nishinoya yuu#asahi azumane#sawamura daichi#sugawara koushi#sakusa kiyoomi#miya atsumu#miya osamu#tsukkishima kei#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#yachi hitoka
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another haikyuu meme redraw 😎
#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyuu memes#meme redraw#haikyuu tsukishima#haikyuu hinata#hinata shouyou#tsukishima kei#saw this meme and thought of them
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In honour of Kenma The Movie here are some text posts ive had saved in my kenma tag for ever and ever (and i even coloured them)
#kyanmaaaaaaa#kozume kenma#kodzuken#haikyuu manga spoilers#haikyuu text post#haikyuu memes#kuroken#kuroo tetsurou#artists on tumblr#digital art#procreate#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanart#fanart#hq!!#trans headcanon#nonbinary kenma
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Kuroo Tetsurou from the JVA asks the JPN National Volleyball Team Questions ft Kodzuken!! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)
#hinata shouyou#miya atsumu#kuroken#kuroo tetsurou#kozume kenma#kageyama tobio#yaku morisuke#haikyuu#hq!!#haikyuu!!#hq fanart#haikyuu fanart#my art#chealinksart#haikyuu memes
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“BUT EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE KILLING ME”
haikyuu characters flipping out on reader after a rough day ft. atsumu , kuroo , oikawa
cw : angst n profanity , them being assholes , insecure atsumu
pt 2. here!
© banner and writing belongs to ruwhimsical 2024. do not repost
mlist
#haikyuu fics#haikyuu smau#haikyuu tweets#haikyuu drabbles#haikyuu imagine#hq texts#hq tweets#haikyuu twt#haikyuu texts#haikyuu socmed#hq smau#shitpost#text post#osamu miya#atsumu miya#kuroo tetsurou#oikawa tooru#haikyuu memes#haikyuu#hq twitter#msby black jackal#haikyuu text#hq tweet#haikyuu headcanons#headcanon#hq angst#haikyuu angst
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VARIOUS | 𝗉𝗋𝖾-𝗍𝗂𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗉!𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗄𝗒𝗎𝗎 𝗍𝖾𝗑𝗍𝗌 𝗏𝗌 𝖻𝗋𝖺 𝗐𝗂𝗋𝖾𝗌, 𝘱𝘵. 𝘰𝘯𝘦.
⚘ précis. ≡ you simply wondered if your boyfriend tsukishima, tanaka, kozume, or hinata knows what bra wires are used for.
⚘ disclaimers. ≡ afab!reader, no fem-aligned sobriquets or race implications (accidentally used the black hand in tanaka’s, ignore it lol).
⚘ category. ≡ sfw text convos.
𖦥 m.list. oc.list
TSUKISHIMA KEI.
RYUNOSUKE TANAKA.
HINATA SHOYO.
KOZUME KENMA.
yuyinesque | translate with permission & peruse without theft.
#𖧷 𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬#haikyuu texts#haikyuu memes#haikyuu x y/n#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu kozume#kenma haikyuu#haikyuu kenma#haikyuu#haikyu x reader#haikyuu tsukishima#haikyuu tsukki#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x y/n#kenma x you#kenma x y/n#kenma x reader#hinata haikyuu#hinata x reader#hinata x you#tanaka x reader#haikyuu tanaka#haikyū!!#haikyuu fluff#kozume x reader#tsukishima kei#kozume kenma#hinata shoyo#tanaka ryuunosuke#tanaka ryunosuke x reader
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Was scrolling through some old favorited comments 💀 (pt 1) / pt 2
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq!!#hq#haikyuu textposts#haikyuu memes#tsukishima kei#kunimi akira#akaashi keiji#oikawa tooru#kozume kenma#nishinoya yuu#miya osamu#kageyama tobio#hinata shoyo#sugawara koushi
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he's so cutie patootie
#haikyuu#hq bokuto#bokuto haikyuu#bokuto fluff#haikyuu bokuto#bokuto koutarou#haikyuu manga#haikyuu memes
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MSBY BLACK JACKALS READ THIRST TWEETS ! (ATSUMU EDITION)
second part of this series! i love to see more of this team <3
[sakusa version]
this fic features…
haikyuu timeskip!spoilers, highly suggestive content (as the title entails), inappropriate language, atsumu keeps getting violated by his teammates, i headcanon sakusa to be fluent in english (argue with the wall), genre: crack, some of these are actual tweets i found lol.
The videos begins with multiple flash shots of Atsumu screaming, Hinata and Bokuto bursting into laughter, and a clip of the camera zooming in on Sakusa’s disgusted face.
- cut scene -
“Hi, we’re the MSBY Black Jackals, and we’re here with Buzzfeed to read your thirst tweets.” The 4 of them say together.
Hinata drums on his chair, “Miyaaaaa Atsumuuuu edition!”
Atsumu smirks at the camera, “I know you’ve all been waiting for this.”
The cameraman speaks up, “Are you excited?”
Atsumu nods enthusiastically, “Hell yeah! I can take this like a champ, unlike Omi-Omi…”. He side eyes the outside hitter, who, in return, flips off the setter—but the video pixelates it for censorship.
Bokuto snorts, “That’s what she said…”
Atsumu chuckles and claps his hands together. “Let’s get started!”
- cut scene -
The crew tosses a phone to Atsumu. He catches it and clears his throat. “Alright, first one…”
“How can I transform into one of those cameras used for volleyball games? Oh to get that view of Miya Atsumu’s dick all up in front of me when he does his sexy low set.”
Atsumu chuckles, “I can practically see you drooling from here, user.”
Hinata wiggles his eyebrows and pretends to hit a spike, “It is a sexy set, Miya.”
Bokuto fakes an animalistic growling noise, “When you get down low and—“
“Oh please, why are we praising Miya for flashing the camera?” Sakusa cuts in.
Atsumu huffs, “I’m not flashing them on purpose!” He then turns to the camera and winks, “Unless you want me to…”
“Barf.”
“Shut yer trap, Omi-Omi!”
Hinata snickers, “Miya, your accent is slipping in…”
His voice is high pitched and whiny as he replies, “No, it’s n—!”, he clears his throat, his voice now two octaves deeper, “No, it’s not.”
Bokuto chuckles, slapping the setter on the back. Atsumu simply passes the phone to him to read the next tweet.
“Funny how I want to throw hands at Inarizaki Miya Atsumu, but at the same time, I want to throw my panties off for MSBY Miya Atsumu.”
Sakusa laughs, actually laughs, for the first time since they started the shoot. His rowdy companions slowly turn to him, eyes blown wide at the rare sight of their stoic teammate showing an ounce of amusement.
Sakusa’s laugh trails off, “Yeah…you were a piece of shit in high school.”
“No, I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were. Still are.”
Hinata tries to reassure the blond, “Don’t worry, Miya, I thought you were cool.”
Bokuto quips, “Hinata, I thought you couldn’t tell the difference between him and Osamu.”
Hinata’s eyes widen and Atsumu glares at the orange-head, “Seriously, Shoyo?”
Hinata waves his hands dismissively, “I-I-I…”
Atsumu sighs, “You guys keep distracting me! I’m supposed to be replying to these thirst tweets.”
Bokuto holds a hand to his heart, “We are sorry, your highness.”
Atsumu looks at the camera and smirks, “Keep your panties on, ladies. I like to do it with them on.”
Sakusa stares at Atsumu in disgust, the beginning scene of the video making its’ debut as the cameraman zooms in on Sakusa’s revolted expression.
“How do you do it with it on?” Bokuto thinks out loud.
Hinata responds, “I think he means it’s pulled to the side?”
Bokuto’s mouth turns into an animated ‘o’ shape, “Ohhh, or or or he—“
Their pr manager coughs loudly off screen. Sakusa gives their manager a grateful look, mouthing a ‘thank you’.
The other three pout as their conversation is cut short. Bokuto hands the phone to Hinata; he squints his eyes at the screen as he tries to make out the words. He begins to read:
“Have y’all seen Miya Atsumu? If that dick slap his thigh when he walk, I shall listen when he talk.”
Hinata laughs but continues, “The Twitter user reposted themselves saying ‘Sheesh.’ with 18 fucking android emojis.”
Bokuto leans closer to Hinata, “Ooh! Lemme see, lemme see.”
Atsumu grins smugly with his eyes closed in satisfaction, his hand coming up to run through his platinum hair.
Sakusa speaks up, “Stop posing for the edits.”
Atsumu seems to ignore Sakusa’s comment as he faces the camera. “Well in that case, I guess you’ll all be listening to me.”
Hinata snorts, “Proof?”
Bokuto guffaws while Hinata holds his laughter in behind a cheeky smile.
Atsumu’s cheeks flush red at his words, “I ain’t showing you nothin’!”
Sakusa rolls his eyes, “Trust me, we’ve seen enough in the locker room.”
Bokuto hides behind Atsumu and holds his hands up a certain distance to insinuate the length of Atsumu’s…commodity.
Atsumu continues, practically flirting with the camera, “But trust me y’all, it does, indeed, slap.”
Hinata leans his elbow over Atsumu’s shoulder, “Yeah and so does he!”
The sound effect of a turntable skidding plays.
Atsumu flinches away from Hinata, “WHAT???”
Their pr manager stands up quickly from their seat, a horrified expression on their face; the threat of losing their job rushing in their head.
Bokuto is holding a hand over his mouth, the Buzzfeed crew members are exchanging nervous looks, even Sakusa has his eyes wide open.
Hinata realizes his mistake and freezes for a moment before he’s jumping and scuttling around in a panic.
“I-I-I MEAN HE SLAPS—NO, NOT LIKE SLAPS, LIKE SLAPS LIKE SLANG ��YEAH THAT SHIT SLAPS’ KIND OF SLAP. NOT PHYSICAL ABUSE SLAP I—”, he exhales sharply, “I’M GONNA STOP TALKING NOW!!”
Sakusa snorts and covers his face with his hands, Bokuto has tears in his eyes from how hard he’s holding in his laughter, the MSBY pr manager sits back down, their pale face slowly regaining its color. Atsumu is left with what can only be described as a sea-sick expression, almost constipated. After a few seconds, he remembers how to speak and says:
“Shoyo…what the fuck.”
“I’M SORRY!”
Sakusa opens his palm up, he’s biting his lip to not let a chuckle escape. “Give me the phone, Hinata.”
Hinata wordlessly hands the phone over as Bokuto giggles and places both his hands on Hinata’s shoulders and jumps in place to brighten up the mood.
Atsumu finally laughs a little, rubbing the back of his neck. “Almost caught myself a scandal there.”
“Wouldn’t be the first,” Sakusa mutters as he scrolls to the next tweet he has to read.
“Miya is so fucking hot, I want that man to turn my legs into jello.”
Atsumu grins, “Well well well—“
Sakusa continues reading the tweet, “I’m talking about Miya Osamu btw, aka the better twin.”
Atsumu opens his eyes, “Huh??”
Sakusa snickers, “Finally a tweet I agree with.”
Bokuto raises his hand to cup around his lips and whispers to Hinata, “Here come the SakuSamu shippers…”
Hinata whispers back, “I thought they were called Omigiris…”
The camera crew turns to a very confused Atsumu, “We thought it would be funny to add an Osamu tweet” one of them says.
Atsumu scowls like a petulant child.
Hinata perks up, “Osamu is pretty sexy, ey? In his Onigiri Miya compression shirt too…”
Bokuto nods in agreement, “And that cap? Smash.”
Atsumu whines, “Guyssss, this is supposed to be about meeee!”
“Womp womp.”
“Omiii :(“
Sakusa gives the phone back to Atsumu, who pouts and sticks his tongue out before he grumbles, “Y’all love to bully me, huh? And here I thought we would have deep team bonding conversations.”
Sakusa quirks an eyebrow up, “…at a thirst tweets shoot?”
“It’s personal and vulnerable,” Hinata replies.
“The only vulnerable thing at risk here is my wellbeing,” Sakusa retorts.
Atsumu sighs as he grabs the phone from Sakusa. “I hope the next tweet makes me feel better…”, he mutters.
“I just know that if Miya Atsumu called me a real good boy, it would awaken something in me.”
Bokuto starts barking at that, “Yeah, it awakens that inner dog in me.”
“We are the Black Jackals.” Sakusa comments, matter-a-factly.
“Are they talking about that time you and Kageyama were at that youth camp?” Hinata asks.
Atsumu nods, “I believe so.”
“Then how do they know you said that…?”
Sakusa responds amusedly, “Knowing Tobio, he probably tweeted about it. That man hates Miya.”
Atsumu defends himself, “Hey now, hate is a strong word. Tobio-kun is just jealous that I’m Shoyo’s setter.”
Bokuto, once again, leans in closer to Hinata to whisper, “Here come the KageHina and AtsuHina shippers…”
Atsumu stares right at the camera with a smoldering expression, “User, you’re being a real good boy…”
Bokuto barks again. The video adds a sound effect that makes it sound like a chorus of Bokutos are barking all around.
Atsumu laughs and passes the phone to Bokuto.
“Someone on here said the English equivalent to Miya Atsumu’s Kansai dialect is a country accent. Well then, call me a cowboy the way I’d be riding that man till the break of dawn. #SaveAHorseRideACowboy”
The video adds a cowboy hat and lasso to Atsumu, who pretends to be on a horse. His voice is much deeper as he says, “Yeehaw~”
“Oooh we have international fans!” Hinata speaks excitedly.
Bokuto’s eyes light up at Hinata’s comment, “Oooh, Omi-kun, say something to them!”
Sakusa squints his eyes and raises an eyebrow, “What do you want me to say?”
Atsumu jumps in, “Tell them I’d be happy to let them have a go at this rodeo ride.” He clicks his tongue with a wink.
Sakusa sighs then looks directly at the camera, and says the following in perfect English: “I hope your taste in men improves from what it is now. My condolences.”
Atsumu smiles, completely oblivious to the insult. “Thanks, Omi-Omi.”
Sakusa smiles, an evil little smile. “My pleasure.”
- cut scene -
Atsumu tosses the phone back to the crew, “And that was it! I thoroughly enjoyed the ego boost, minus the parts when the team bullied me.”
“You were a good sport, Miya.” Hinata tells him.
“Thanks, Shoyo. And you’re a horrible speaker.”
Hinata’s face burns scarlet again at the reminder of his misfortunate wording earlier.
“2 out of 4 completed!”, Bokuto exclaims.
“Yes, we’re so close to being done.” Sakusa says, though he looks way too happy and relieved.
“More coming your way!” Hinata adds.
“Stay tuned~” Atsumu points at the camera.
“We’re the MSBY Black Jackals, goodbye!”
kenjisatos
🏷️ @dervngedgf
#haikyuu#haikyuu x imagines#haikyuu crack#haikyuu oneshot#haikyuu time skip#haikyuu manga#haikyuu msby#haikyuu memes#haikyuu smau#msby x reader#msby 4#msby atsumu#msby sakusa#msby hinata#msby bokuto#msby black jackal#miya atsumu#sakusa kiyoomi#bokuto koutarou#hinata shouyou#atsumu x reader#hq atsumu#hq sakusa#hq bokuto#hq hinata#buzzfeed interview#thirst tweets#miya osamu#miya twins#hq msby
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absolutely dumbass behaviour I think haikyuu ships would exhibit on days when there's no braincell to share
Daisuga: Daichi forgets the word for something and stands there snapping his fingers and thinking up synonyms and "sounds like" and various prompts to try and remember and Suga's guesses just keep getting more inaccurate and unhelpful
Iwaoi: Oikawa falls down icy steps in the winter and in his excitement to go make fun of him Iwaizumi falls down the same steps and ends up right beside him.
Ushiten: Tendou and Ushijima decided to cook dinner together and are not able explain how they got from point A to point "the oven is on fire."
Asanoya: They both forget to bring money when they go out to eat. They offer to work it off and the restaurant manager has to explain to them thats absolutely not how it works outside of TV.
Tsukkiyama: Tsukishima makes a statement that someone else fact checks and finds out is incorrect - both Tsukki and Yamaguchi then double down with 100% conviction that no, actually, Tsukki is right.
I was going to include Kagehina in this but honestly theyve never had even one braincell between them so everything I wrote just sounded like descriptions of canon.
#theres hardly a braincell to go around#haikyuu#haikyuu memes#haikyuu ships#daisuga#iwaoi#ushiten#asanoya#tsukkiyama#haikyuu headcanons
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#yes i know im extremly late to this trend let me be#downloaded some new brushes :))#haikyuu#haikyuu fanart#haikyuu!!#sakusa kiyoomi#sakuatsu#haikyuu kiyoomi#hq sakusa#atsumu miya#haikyuu memes#elna’s art
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this MIGHT be coach ukai😕
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