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angelicyoongie · 16 days

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The Ivory Fang (Il/finale)

— pairing: mermaid taehyung x (f) reader — word count: 8.2k — warnings: (soft?) yandere — summary: You have run out of options when it comes to treating your mother's illness. When a mysterious man offers you a solution that might save her, you decide that nothing is too strange if it means it'll lead to a cure – not even finding and striking a deal with a mermaid.

Part 01 - 02

The bones above you rattle as you dare to step closer to the pool. Your body trembles under Taehyung's intent gaze, the sharp points of his fangs peeking out as he smirks. There's no doubt in your mind that he would be able to rip you to pieces in seconds with teeth like that, yet, you can't run away now. There is nowhere for you to go but forward and Taehyung has all of the answers you have so desperately been searching for.

"Your request?" Taehyung prompts. His fin flicks lazily up and down, keeping his shimmering tail floating just above the water.

"You know what it is," You find yourself growing angry amid of your fear, annoyed that you were sent on a wild goose chase so far away from your mother. "Why could you not grant my wish on land? Why drag me all the way here?"

Taehyung's icy eyes light up at your vexed tone, openly finding pleasure in your displeasure. He taps a finger against his cheek, dragging out the silence to seemingly shake you further before he says, "My magic is stronger at the island. Your.. situation, requires a great deal of it, so it must be done here."

"Magic abides by certain rules, an order, which must be kept if you want your wish to be successful. So I will ask you again, human, what is your request?"

A brief thought strikes you about faeries and their ability to twist your words into something foul as you look down at Taehyung's mischievous smile. There was a folktale your mother used to tell you when you were young, to teach you to always speak the truth. You followed your mother's will, scared by the implication that a creature could twist your words, until you realized that sometimes - lying was kinder than telling the truth. But perhaps there had been something valuable in her teachings nonetheless. Maybe a mermaid's magic, much like a faerie's, can twist your request into something terrible if you allow space for it.

You take a moment to formulate the request in your mind, making it as perfect and concise as possible without leaving any room for trickery. "I want you to cure my mother of the sickness that is eating away at her body and make her healthy again."

The mermaid tilts his head, exposing the gills along his neck as he considers it. "Very well. And what may you be willing to sacrifice for me to grant your request?"

The answer slips out just as easily as it did the first time Taehyung asked you.

"Anything."

"If it is something of equal value then..." Taehyung pushes himself back from the edge of the pool, the distance making it easier for him to once again scrutinize you from head to toe. You're not entirely sure what he's looking for or what he finds, but he seems to deem it acceptable. "Hmm, fine. I shall grant it."

The mermaid suddenly submerges himself underwater, swimming into the depths of the pool. You shudder as you look over the edge and realize you can only faintly see Taehyung's tail shimmering down below, the water far deeper than you were expecting. You hastily retreat as you notice Taehyung's form becoming more visible, the mermaid clearing the distance in only a few seconds as he breaches the surface. He has something clutched in his hand, something mushy and soft that strongly resembles algae. The only difference is that this seaweed is glowing, a faint light emitting from it as soon as it comes into contact with air.

Taehyung spares you no explanation as he swims over to the other side of the pool, to the same spot he was lounging before you revealed yourself. You watch in fascination as he finds a large shell, placing the algae into it before he starts mushing it up even further with what looks to be a white crystal. You wince as he tears a lock of hair from his head, uncaring, as he adds it to the mixture. There are a few more things added into it that you can't make out from where you're standing, and for your self-preservation, you think it best to stay where you are.

The mermaid eventually makes his way back to you, his concoction held safely above the water's surface. "Come closer, human, I need you for the final part of the potion."

You hesitate for only a split second, wary of closing the distance. But the guilt of knowing that you're only prolonging your mother's suffering finally pushes to you take a few more steps forward, falling to your knees at the edge of the pool.

"Very good," Taehyung purrs. "First, I need back what I gave you." The fang.

You had completely forgotten about it in the midst of everything else. You feel a jolt of panic as you rummage around the loose pockets of your trousers, not finding anything. Did you lose it in the sea? Patting yourself down, you let out a tiny sound of realization as you remember the hidden pocket in the back, the one your mother added for safekeeping coins.

"Here," You place the fang by the edge of the pool, watching as Taehyung picks it up with a carefulness you never would have associated with a creature like him.

You shrink back as he suddenly raises a webbed hand towards your face, your heart hammering in your chest as you get a good close-up of his awfully sharp claws. You squeeze your eyes shut as he makes a swiping motion, sure that those talons are going to cut your throat wide open. Instead, only feel a light tug at your hair, much like a knife cutting through it.

You open your eyes just in time to see Taehyung adding a few strands of your hair to his brew, grinding it down to nothing with his crystal. He whispers low under his breath as he stirs, speaking a tongue you have never heard before. You wonder if it's magic or if it's simply the language of mermaids. It feels old though, like perhaps it is older than time itself.

Taehyung places the shell in front of you as he finishes his incantation. "You must drink this and think of your intention – your request – as you do so."

The brew looks murky green and slimy, definitely not at all appealing. It makes your stomach turn to know that you'll be ingesting his hair, but if this is all you need to do, then that is a small price to pay for your mother's health. You grimace as you pick the shell up, balancing it carefully between your hands as you bring it up to your lips. The smell that hits your nose is repugnant and you have no doubt that it will taste even worse. You take a deep breath in through your mouth, using the moment to steel yourself and think of your mother before you tip the shell forward.

Nothing could have prepared you for the absolutely horrid taste that hits your tongue, some of the slimy potion pooling in your mouth despite your best attempts to quickly swallow it. As the final gulp passes down your throat and you heave for air, desperate for something to scrape the nasty residue off your tongue, you feel a heaviness settle around your wrists and ankles. The sensation weighs you down for a moment, tight around your limbs, before it disappears just as quickly as it arrived.

"What was that?" You croak, touching your unblemished wrist.

You freeze as a webbed hand suddenly covers yours, your breath catching in your throat at how wet and off his touch feels. The sharp points of Taehyung's claws are digging into your skin, just short of slicing into your arteries.

"It was your end of our deal. The only thing of equal value to saving a life is to take another. Killing you would be a pity, so chaining your life to mine seemed a better option."

You swallow thickly, unease spreading through your body like wildfire. "What does that mean, exactly?"

"Well, if I call, you come. If I ask you to do something, you do it."

"So, I'm your servant," You conclude. "That's... fine. I'll aid you whenever you find yourself in our town."

Taehyung is silent for a long moment before he lets out a small chuckle, one that sounds like he just watched a kitten trip over its own feet. "Oh guppy, I do not think you understand. You are chained to me and my magic that rests on this island. You cannot leave."

"No!" You whip your head up, flinching as you find Taehyung's face much too close to yours. "But– But my mother? How will I know if our deal has worked?"

The mermaid shrugs, indifferent to your distress.

"Trust, I suppose. Desperation. If you ever attempt to leave, the spell will break and your mother will revert back to her sick self again. It is up to you whether you are willing to chance it."

You think you should have seen this coming – how cruel a deal with a magical creature can be. If you stay here you can't confirm that Taehyung is holding up his end of the deal but you also cannot risk going back to check on the odd chance that it actually breaks the spell and dooms your mother. You have no choice but to trust him – to hope that the magic that binds you, also binds him.

Taehyung senses your quiet acceptance, his claws drifting from your wrist to your cheek. You don't fight it as he lifts your head, forcing you to meet his gaze. The mermaid seems to revel in your misery, his eyes gleaming with something hungry and dangerous as he stares you down. His claws draw blood as he slinks closer, the small pinpricks leaving streaks of red trickling down your face.

Taehyung's breath ghosts over your lips as he leers and says, "Now human, what should we do with you?"

Servant was perhaps too kind of a word.

The mermaid puts you to work right away, sending you out to different parts of the island to collect items he needs. He often leaves you with vague descriptions, forcing you to make the trek multiple times when the plant or leaves you have plucked aren't the ones he's looking for. He never allows you to rest or eat until your task for the day is done.

You hobble into the cave, winching with every step as your bloodied and bruised skin makes contact with the hard rock underneath. Taehyung sent you out to find a red fruit today, one that grows at the very top of a tree. You haven't done much climbing since you were a child and certainly never that high up, so each branch you picked to take you further was chosen with caution. Your feet were already scraped and bloodied by the time you had made it halfway up the trunk and the rest of your climb wasn't made easier by the sap-like texture dripping out of the bark, causing every step to feel like it might be your last.

Your legs are shaking with pain by the time you step into the cavern, the crudely woven basket on your back so heavy it threatens to drag you down with each step. Collapsing near the pool's edge, you heave it off your shoulders to give to Taehyung. The mermaid hasn't spared you a single glance since you appeared, his attention locked onto the new concoction he's working on. It isn't until you loudly clear your throat that Taehyung turns around, propelling himself to the other side of the pool in a few seconds with a few strong strokes of his tail.

He hums contently as he takes stock of all the fruit you gathered, rummaging around to make sure that they're all in good condition. Taehyung pierces into the flesh with his claws, red juice dripping down his hand as he holds up the fruit to closer inspect it. His cold gaze moves over to you once he deems it satisfactory.

"Did you eat one, human?"

"No," You shake your head. To say you hadn't been tempted would be a lie, but you were afraid of disobeying the mermaid's orders. What if it affected your agreement?

"Good."

Taehyung lifts the basket on top of his head, balancing it there as if it weighs nothing as he returns to the other side of the pool. You massage your sore calves, trying to ignore the hunger gnawing at your stomach. You're not sure how long the mermaid takes before he makes his way back to you - you suspect he always drags it out longer than necessary because he likes to see you squirm – but you feel ravenous by the time he places your dinner in front of you. Your food is always the same; fresh fish cut into thin slices along with blue, plump berries. While it never looks like much, it always fills you up until you think you might burst.

You try not to grimace as Taehyung's webbed hands wrap around your legs, dragging your feet down into the water of the pool. The first time it happened you had kicked the mermaid so hard it left him stunned. In retaliation for your fear, you weren't allowed to eat for two days.

You quickly learned your lesson that it was best to just let Taehyung do what he wants unless you were willing to face the consequences.

You focus on eating your berries as Taehyung drags his hands over the soles of your feet, the mermaid murmuring words you don't understand. You suppress your whimpers as the wounds on your feet begin to knit themselves back together, the skin scarring and smoothing over in just under a minute. You often find yourself wondering if this is Taehyung's strategy for an obedient servant; while he's the one who's breaking you down, he's also the only one who can patch you back up, ensuring that you always come running back.

Fear has kept you from talking much, worried that one wrong question might cause the mermaid to anger and sink his claws into you. But the past weeks on this island have left you feeling restless and starved for more than just food. At this point, you're simply desperate for some interaction. So, against your better judgement, you say, "How does that work?"

Taehyung pauses his movements, "How does what work, human?"

"The thing you're doing to my feet, the, uh, magic?"

"That is none of your concern," The gills on Taehyung's neck flutter as he huffs.

"Right," You murmur, not stupid enough to push when it's clear that he's unwilling to elaborate.

"Are you the only mermaid living on this island?"

You pull your feet out of the water the moment Taehyung is done healing them, scooting back just in case you have annoyed him with your questions. The mermaid regards you silently for a moment, his normally stoic expression wavering just so.

"I am. We are lonely creatures, much too possessive to be able to share the same home," Taehyung says. His nose wrinkles as he adds, "There are some.. exceptions, of course."

"Such as?" You wonder.

"Two of my brothers are a bit more attached than what is considered normal for us. I pity the creature they will choose as their mate."

Mate? It seems odd that such solitary creatures would have partners but maybe this is a good thing for you. If Taehyung starts looking for his mate, he likely won't have time to torment you and send you out on such pointless quests anymore.

"Do you see your brothers often?"

"No," Taehyung answers simply. "The moment we leave the pod, we are on our own. I only hear about my brothers through whispers of others, never directly from them. Such is the life at sea."

The mermaid quirks his lips, showing off the sharp points of his fangs as he notices the surprised look on your face. "You seem shocked that I am willingly giving out information, human."

"I–I suppose," You stammer, flabbergasted. Frankly, you didn't think you would ever get that much out of a simple question, that you would actually learn something about how mermaid society works.

Taehyung gently pushes himself away from the edge of the pool, floating on his back as he drifts closer to the middle of the water. The soft echo of his voice between the cave walls leaves your mind spinning as he confesses, "You are the first creature I have spoken to in years, guppy. Us monsters get lonesome too."

You stand with your hands on your hips just a little ways off the path your feet have forged, staring down the bush full of ripe, blue berries as you consider all of your options. You are well aware that you will get into trouble if you eat some, that you will be defying Taehyung's orders, but you are just so hungry.

It is only midday and you know that you have hours left to go until you have completed the task Taehyung has given you for the day. You need some fuel if you are going to be able to keep going until then. You're sick of feeling like your stomach is either trying to eat itself or almost bursting at the seams, sick of every little aspect of your life being controlled. You know that this is the sacrifice you have made to cure your mother – and it is worth it – but surely it can't hurt if you eat a few berries, just enough to quell the worst of your hunger?

Determined, you reach out to the bush and pluck a handful of plump, blue berries. Their hue is a little more purple than the ones Taehyung normally serves you but that likely just means that they're a little overripe, if anything. You pop them into your mouth, shrugging as the same, familiar mellow taste hits your tongue. You're tempted to grab a handful more to snack on but you decide you better not push your luck too much. First, you need to see if Taehyung notices the few you did eat.

You steady the basket on your back, beginning your trek back to the clearing a little way up the mountain. You've already been there once today but the overflowing basket you brought back apparently wasn't enough. No – the mermaid needed twice that.

You use the billowy sleeve of your dirtied blouse to wipe your face and neck as you near the base of the mountain, surprised by the amount of sweat that's pouring out of your skin. As you follow your own trail upwards, you find it hard to catch your breath despite your leisurely pace, the world slowly beginning to tilt on its axis the more you move forward.

The temperature on the island is mild today, certainly not hot enough to give you a heat stroke, but the symptoms seem to plague you all the same. You stumble to the ground as you reach a cluster of trees, seeking refuge in the shade they're offering. You leave your basket next to you, using the trunk of the tree for support as you try to catch your breath. Your mouth feels awfully numb, a bitter aftertaste blossoming on your tongue the more you try to swallow it away.

"Shit," You groan as your vision begins to blur. The moment you touch your face, you become aware of the weird itching that has begun spreading under your skin, like a thousand little pinpricks stabbing into it over and over. You frantically rub your face, closing your eyes as the movement makes your stomach turn dangerously.

"Sweetie–"

You lurch forward on your hands and knees as you hear your mother's voice calling out to you, the sound so close yet so far away at the same time. Your eyelids feel like swollen boulders as you force them open, your gaze unseeing as you attempt to make out the indistinct shapes of trees and bushes in the darkness.

That can't be right, wasn't the sun shining just before you closed your eyes?

You crawl forward, feeling along the ground as you attempt to make out what direction your mother's voice is coming from.

"Please help me–"

You veer a strong left, using a large rock for support to get up on your trembling, unsteady legs. You stumble forward into the night, swaying with each step as you hurry after your mother's shadow, her cries for help ringing in your ears. You never gain on her no matter how hard you push your body, no matter how loud you try to call out to her. There is hellfire raging inside of your body, making every step much harder than the last.

You slump over a fallen log for support, attempting to soothe the thunderous pounding in your chest before you continue to follow after your mother. The sound of snapping twigs catches your attention, your head turning in the direction it's coming from just in time to see something walk out of the trees. The creature walks unnaturally and jerky, its limbs twitching oddly with each step forward. The darkness shrouds everything but the creature's outline, how big and imposing it is as it hobbles forward, its claws glinting in the faint moonlight.

A demon.

You slide off the log, biting back a cry of terror as you begin to drag yourself in the opposite direction. Your legs are too weak to hold you up, your knees buckling whenever you attempt to put any weight on them. Sweat is streaming down your face as you dig your fingers into the earth, heaving yourself forward with all the energy you can muster. The sounds of the beast behind you grow louder and louder, and dread settles heavily in the pit of your stomach as you realize that you can't escape it. You flip yourself over with shaking arms, vision swimming as you stare up at the canopy of leaves above you. Tears flow down your cheeks as you remember your mother, still lost in these woods, soon to be alone with the same demon that's hunting you.

"Please," You whisper, tongue barely forming the words as you see the blurry figure of the beast above you.

You try to plead more, to ask for mercy as the demon's claws descend towards your face; but just as you open your mouth to do so, everything goes black.

There's a steady stream of grumbling close by as you regain consciousness. You can't pick out much over the sounds of rocks grinding together, but you do hear the words stupid and human repeated more than once. Your attempts to open your eyes are futile, a thick paste holding them closed. You begin to panic as you realize you can't even move your limbs to remove it, your fingers merely twitching by your side.

"Human, you are finally awake," The familiar sound of Taehyung's voice halts your racing heart and calms it from driving you into a frenzied panic.

A wooden bowl is pressed against your mouth, a cool liquid trickling down your throat as Taehyung carefully pulls on your chin to part your lips. The taste is awful, so bitter and rotten at the same time that you have half a mind to stop swallowing it and just let it flow down your chin to avoid drinking it.

"You have to drink it all," Taehyung says, as if reading your mind. "Unless you want to remain paralyzed from the toxins for the rest of your life, of course."

He makes a sound in the back of his throat, a gurgle that weirdly reminds you of a cat's purr, as he sees you consume every drop. He removes the bowl from your lips as it empties, but his cold finger remains on your chin, the tip of his claw tapping against your cheek. "There was a reason I told you not to eat anything I did not give you, human. Most of the plants here are poisonous in their pure form."

"You are lucky I found you when I did, your foolish hallucinations and running around exacerbated the effects. You would be dead if I had reached you a few breaths later."

Hallucinations?

You can't remember anything past eating the berries before your trek up the mountain. The little feeling you do have in your feet seems to prove Taehyung's statement true, though. They feel scratched up and achy, like you've been running on uneven ground for hours. The mermaid lets you stew in the realization that he saved your life as he moves around, all too aware that you can't respond with your swollen tongue.

You eventually drift off to sleep to the sounds of Taehyung grinding herbs together, the mermaid murmuring words of the old language as he works.

The next time you wake up, you can finally open your eyes. The thick paste that was keeping them shut is gone and as you take stock of the rest of your body, you notice that your hands and feet move according to your commands. Even your mouth feels back to normal, your tongue no longer heavy and thick behind your teeth.

You roll your head to the side, finding that Taehyung is still kneeling next to you, right where you surmised he was earlier. His icy, piercing gaze is still as unsettling as always, but it also feels oddly comforting as he looks you over from head to toe, making sure that you're alright.

"Can you move all of your limbs?" "Yes," You croak, wriggling your fingers and toes to confirm that you can.

"Do you still feel like the fires of hell are inside of you?" Taehyung asks as he places his hand on your bare stomach, your muscles jerking at the feel of the cool and slightly sticky texture of his skin against yours.

"No," You murmur, "It's all gone."

Even if you do not remember anything of your hallucinations, you do recall the awful burning sensation that was all under your skin, scorching your flesh from the inside as the poison ate away at you.

"Good," Taehyung removes his hand to push himself to his feet, his movements just as unnatural as that time in his shop.

Without the cloak covering him up you're able to see just why he moves the way he does – the bones in his legs are twisted, jutting out in odd directions. You wonder if it's because Taehyung is half fish, that perhaps his anatomy does not line up correctly whenever he uses magic to transform his tail into legs. You know better than to ask though, no good will come out of antagonizing Taehyung with silly questions when he just nursed you back to health.

It's odd to think about, but it is true. Despite making your life a living nightmare for the past month, he still saved your life. Whether it's out of the good of his heart (you doubt it) or him not wanting to find a new servant, you'd rather not know. You're not sure which truth would be worse.

"What was the paste for?" You ask instead. "To make sure you did not start bleeding out of your eyes," Taehyung replies simply.

"Oh," You gulp.

Eager to steer the conversation over to something else, to make you forget just how bad this whole situation could have turned out, you pivot to another question that has been lingering in the back of your mind.

"Why–" You clear your throat, "Why did you pick me? I can't be the only human desperate enough to seek you out for a deal?"

"You would be surprised, human. Not many of your species are as, hm, selfless, as you."

The mermaid picks up a bowl you hadn't noticed before, the contents sloshing around as he hobbles back to where you're lying. You advert your eyes to the sky as Taehyung moves closer, finding it difficult to watch his stilted movements without it triggering something primal in your head, something that just wants to flee from the unnatural sight before your eyes.

"Drink this."

You glance back at Taehyung as he presents you with the bowl, once again kneeling by your side. Your arms shake as you lift it to your mouth, your head as heavy as the mountain you're in the shade of as you strain to lift your neck. The taste is still as awful as the first time Taehyung made you drink it but you diligently swallow down every drop, confident that something in it must be aiding your recovery since you already feel so much better.

"I did not always have magic," Taehyung explains as he takes the empty bowl back. "I made a deal with a sea witch. I was too young to know what I was asking for, what the witch was asking of me in return, and yet I accepted it without question."

"Mermaids have long lifespans, we live for twice as many moons as you humans do. I did not think it would matter much if I lost a few turns of the seasons, but the witch wanted so much more than that. It feeds of my life force, my very essence. I am a child of the sea, made to swim and hunt in it for centuries, and yet it tells me that half of it is already gone - eaten by the witch in an attempt to prolong its own existence."

You recoil as Taehyung lets out a small hiss, revealing his fangs as he thinks back on his mistake. He gives you a sour look as he notices your poorly concealed fear, as if you should already be over that by now.

"D-did you try to break it?" You ask, voice trembling.

"Of course," The mermaid rolls his eyes. "I did not just ask, I begged–" He heaves a deep breath, gaze blazing with anger at what you can only assume is his indignance of having to sink so low, to subject himself to something he considers to be beneath a creature like him.

"It did not yield to my pleas. The witch told me that it was only a creature with a will of steel, a heart of gold, and a selfless mind that could break my deal – my curse. Another mermaid would never possess such qualities and neither would other sea creatures. It only left humans."

Taehyung's deep baritone voice seems to go even lower as he stares you down and says, "I have visited countless human settlements before yours, seeking a human that would fit the witch's description. Not a single human ever entered my shop before you."

You shudder as the mermaid uses his claw to push a lock of hair away from your face. "What does that mean? You tricked me?"

"Perhaps," Taehyung hums, grinning in a way that shows off all of the horrible teeth in his mouth. "Or perhaps we simply took use of each other. You need me to keep your mother healthy, as I need you to break my curse. Your determination to save your mother even when you were at death's door showed me that you are precisely what I have been looking for – that you are the creature that the witch spoke of."

Taehyung cradles your face in his cold palm, his eyes shining with a different hunger than before, "Well done. You have passed my test, guppy."

You swear under your breath as you dump your basket into the soft sand, the grains still warm between your toes from the setting sun. With all the berries and herbs you have been picking lately, you forgot just how heavy firewood could be. You grumble as you pull the crudely chopped branches out on the sand, stacking them until they form a small bonfire.

The fire catches easily this time, roaring to life with the help of some big half-dried leaves. You still remember your first night on the island vividly, just how cold and scared of the unknown you were as you curled up to sleep near the flames. It never crossed your mind that you would still be here, months later, sitting in the same place and repeating the same motions. Not even in your worst nightmare would you ever dream that this would have become your life – your new normal.

You pat your growling stomach, staring out at the quiet sea as you wait for your dinner to show up. The setting sun has barely moved in the sky before Taehyung breaches the surface, throwing two fat and heavy fish up on the shore. You ignore the grisly sight of their missing heads, the identical teeth marks along their necks making it quite clear who the culprit is. Using two sticks, you skewer the fish, leaving it to roast over the flames.

Taehyung has pulled himself up beside the fire by the time you're done preparing your food. You made the bonfire near the water on purpose, just close enough that the waves lap at your toes whenever the current grows stronger. The proximity lets Taehyung leave most of his heavy tail in the sea, the dancing flames reflecting off his white scales.

"Is this another one of your human inventions?" The mermaid shoots the roasting fish a weary look, his lip curling with distaste as he notices how the scales burn and blacken.

"I suppose so," You shrug, turning the branches so that the fish cooks evenly. "We have always relied on fire for food and warmth. Surely you must have seen humans use it before?"

"You seem to forget, guppy, that no human has ever approached me before you did. I did not waste my time watching them, not when one would eventually find its way to me."

Taehyung experimentally reaches out a claw towards the bonfire, holding it close until the very tip begins to glow red. You let out a strangled sound as a thin line of smoke begins to rise from his claw and grab his wrist to pull him back, away from the flames. Taehyung's finger sizzles as you shove it into the damp sand near his torso, your eyes wide as you look at him in disbelief.

"Are you trying to hurt yourself?!"

"Peculiar," Taehyung murmurs as he lifts his finger, staring at the burned spot at the edge of his otherwise pure, white claw. "I could not feel it."

"Oh by the deities," You groan. "Perhaps your claws are too thick to allow you to feel pain but you can still burn. Be watchful of the fire."

Taehyung's bright cold eyes snap to your face immediately, "Are you showing concern for me, human?"

"No," You hastily reply. You can see the flash of Taehyung's teeth out of the corner of your eye as he grins, clearly not believing you as you busy yourself with the fish.

You can't pinpoint when the shift between you and Taehyung happened, exactly. Perhaps it was after he saved your life, or maybe it's simply a silent understanding that you both have something to lose if you don't cooperate. More likely though, you think it's just loneliness. The only creature you can talk to out here is Taehyung and the same goes for him. The days and nights get awfully long when you have nothing but your own voice to listen to.

Taehyung has seemingly realized that too, and in turn, he has grown... kinder. He still makes you gather things around the island every day and doesn't let you eat until your tasks are completed, but they have grown easier than before – and have become quicker to complete. There is still a bone-deep uneasiness that flares up whenever you're around him, a survival instinct that never dares to go dormant, but the visceral fear you used to feel as Taehyung showed his fangs or flexed his claws has dulled down enough to be manageable. At least, that's what you like to fool yourself into believing.

You move the now cooked fish away from the flames, giving it some time to cool down before you dig in. You rest your head on your knees, looking at how Taehyung's tail leisurely moves back and forth with the current. Glancing past it, you can't see anything but open water, Pearl Bay is too far away to be visible in the distance.

Hesitating, you trace out indistinct shapes in the sand as you carefully ask, "Do you think your magic would still work if you left the island and I followed you? Perhaps it's the proximity to you and not the island that counts? We could try–"

"No."

The silent anger in Taehyung's voice makes a chill rush down your spine. As you dare to turn your head to look at him, you find that his features are set in stone, hard, as he glowers at you.

"But–"

Your next words are replaced by a cry as Taehyung suddenly grabs your wrist and yanks you forward. You fall to your knees, your face oh so close to the mermaid's exposed fangs as he snarls, "You cannot leave this island. Ever. Do you understand?"

The fear racing through your body renders you speechless, your mind much too occupied by the flecks of dried blood on Taehyung's sharp teeth to formulate an answer.

"I said–" The claws around your wrist begin to hurt as they dig into your skin, drawing blood, as Taehyung leans in closer, "Do you understand, human?"

"Y-yes," You stammer, "I'm sorry, I understand."

"Very well," The mermaid releases you the moment you utter your compliance. He makes sure you watch as he lifts his hand to his mouth, licking your blood of his claws with a tongue that seems abnormally long. "Do not ask foolish questions again."

You can only nod in return, shocked by the display. His gaze flickers to the forgotten fish by the fire. "Eat your food."

You know a command when you hear one and you're not dumb enough to disobey Taehyung when he wants something. You fumble for the closest stick, heart pounding, as you grab one of the fish. You bring it to your mouth without much thought, biting into it before you can displease him further.

You yelp as the still fiery hot scales burn your lip, your eyes watering as you reach up to touch the wounded skin. You can tell it's going to blister and it's going to hurt for days, if not weeks, until it heals. Still, you chew and swallow the burning piece in your mouth, wincing as it moves down your throat.

Taehyung makes a clicking sound that resembles a tsk, turning your head back to face him once again. He stares at the burn on your lip, cocking his head as he assesses it.

"Be watchful of the fire," He echoes, half-mocking.

You hold your breath as he mirrors the same position as only moments before, his breaths almost mingling with yours. As Taehyung closes his eyes and whispers a few words of old under his breath, you're struck with a reminder of how handsome he is. You usually can't look past his fangs or piercing eyes, but like this, he simply looks like a beautiful, normal man. Someone you no doubt would have been drooling over if he had lived in your town.

Taehyung's cutting gaze demands your attention the moment he opens his eyes. You lose the ability to blink as you hold his gaze, heart stuttering with something other than fear as he says, "You are no use to me broken, guppy. I will continue to mend you and keep you whole. I can promise you that much."

You freeze up as Taehyung's cold lips press against yours, the kiss firm and unyielding as he pulls your bottom lip between his own. You make a noise in the back of your throat as Taehyung's tongue darts out to swipe across your burn, the sting instantly melting away. Before your body can make up its mind on whether it wants to push the mermaid away or pull him closer, Taehyung inches back, disconnecting his mouth from yours.

It takes you a moment too long to realize that Taehyung just used magic to heal your burn, the skin unblemished and smooth. You touch your lip, swallowing thickly as it tingles from Taehyung's kiss. You're not quite sure if the relief you feel is because your wound is gone or because you finally had the barest taste of intimacy after so long. You think it's for the best if you don't look too deep into yourself for that answer.

Taehyung seems pleased with himself as he watches your reaction. The mermaid's smirk spells trouble, the flames of the bonfire reflected in his eyes as he glances at your mouth.

"Interesting," He says, licking his lips, "Very peculiar, indeed."

You waddle out into the ocean, sinking slightly into the soft sand beneath with every step. As the water reaches your knees, you feel the weight of chains wrap around your wrists and ankles, slowing you down. The pressure around your limbs grows tighter the more you dare to move forward.

You stop when the water laps just below your belly button, glancing down at your wrists as if that would expose the invisible restraints that are hurting you. 137 steps. You have been pushing yourself one step forward every day, attempting to figure out just how far Taehyung's spell reaches, and you think you've finally found it.

The magic that is weighing you down is pulsating, squeezing and constricting your limbs in a way you know would bruise horribly if you could see them. It feels like a breaking point, like if you just push forward a little more, the distance will snap the chains right off. This must be the border you can't move past without risking breaking the spell and dooming your mother.

You retreat a few steps back, not willing to take any chances. The pressure from the chains lessens just a tad, as if urging you to go back to shore and rid yourself of the pain. You stay in place though, staring longingly at the faint, small outline of Pearl Bay shimmering in the distance. You've found that you can only see it on particularly nice days, when the sun is beating down and there's not a single cloud in the sky.

You have no idea how long it's been since you made your journey from Pearl Bay to here. The weather doesn't change much and the seasons certainly don't. Days bleed into nights and into days again, and you lost count many full moons ago of when you arrived at the island.

Sighing, you adjust the loose shirt hanging off your shoulders.

While you have never left the island since that day you stepped ashore, you know that Taehyung has. The moment the clothes on your back became too tattered, you found a rucksack filled with drenched clothing, all different styles and sizes. The mermaid never confessed to bringing them but you know there is no other explanation for how they just 'suddenly' turned up on the beach. It's all very strange. Taehyung has been meeting your every need lately, almost predicting them before they even arise. He has been acting a lot more than attentive than you're used to and that paired with his increased affection, you're not sure what to make of it.

As if your thoughts were a beacon, you hear a soft splash behind you. Strong arms wrap around your waist, pushing you further into the sand below as you bear the added weight of a mermaid hanging off your back.

"What are you doing, guppy?"

You shiver as Taehyung's cold cheek rests against your bare shoulder, water dripping steadily down your back from Taehyung's drenched hair.

"Not much," You say, turning your gaze to the spotless sky, "Just thinking." "Very well."

Considering how quickly Taehyung accepts your vague explanation, you can tell the mermaid has something else in mind – something he deems more important to do.

Barely a second passes before you feel the touch of his lips against your shoulder, your breath hitching as he leaves a trail of kisses up your throat. You lean your head to to side, allowing him easier access to your skin.

After that night Taehyung healed your burn, you don't think there has been a single day that has passed without the mermaid initiating some kind of physical intimacy with you.

The kiss seemed to awaken something in Taehyung; a feeling he only seems to crave more and more with each passing day.

To say that you mind it would be a lie.

Perhaps it's a sign that you're slowly losing your mind – but being held and kissed after so long feels nice. You know it's crazy to enjoy it with a creature like him, but what other option do you have? He's the only semi-human being around here and, well, his handsome face and toned muscles do make it quite enjoyable. There are still parts of you that find Taehyung's touch off, that makes alarm bells ring whenever you're held a little too tightly, but you've found that the more you ignore them, the less they bother you.

You let out a soft moan as one of Taehyung's longest fangs scrape across your skin, the sting immediately soothed by his tongue. He has taken it upon himself to experiment; to try out different methods in order to drag as many of those delicious sounds of you as possible.

You can feel your control slipping as one of his hands slips under your shirt, moving up, up, up.

Hastily grabbing it, you pause his movements just under the swell of your breasts. The intimacy is nice but you don't think you're ready for this yet. You're worried you might never want to leave if you let yourself sink that far into depravity.

"Taehyung," You murmur, catching the mermaid's attention. He nudges the back of your neck with his nose in response, breathing in the fresh scent of herbs and salt that always clings to your hair.

"What do I need to do to break your deal with the witch?"

Taehyung's grip tightens, the points of his claws digging into your skin possessively. "Why do you continue to ask me this, human? I have already told you that I do not know."

Because this is the only thing you know will distract him enough to forget about touching you more.

"Did the witch ever tell you when we would have to seek it out?"

There's a reluctant pause, a low series of perturbed clicks and grinding teeth before Taehyung tightly responds, "No. The sea will call for us when the time is right."

Your questions have their intended effect though, Taehyung's hands slipping away from your body as he detaches himself from your back. You hear him fumble with something behind your back, seemingly just as keen to distract you from your questions as you were to distract him from taking things further.

"I have something for you, guppy."

A string gets passed over your head, a necklace of sorts falling into place just below your collarbone. You pick up the heavy pendant attached to it, eyes widening as you recognize what it is - the ivory fang you had returned back to Taehyung. It glistens under the sunlight, its surface smooth and even.

"What is this?" You murmur as Taehyung peers over your shoulder, his chest flush to your back.

"It is mine," He reveals. "I lost it in my first battle. The shark had it coming for encroaching on my territory, but it did put up a decent fight, I shall give it that."

"That's, um– impressive?" You're not sure what the right thing to say is, you have never had to fight a shark before after all, but the mermaid seems pleased with it nonetheless, nuzzling his face against the crook of your neck.

"Why are you giving it to me, though? What... what does it mean?"

"It means that you are mine, my little guppy," Taehyung purrs. "I have decided to bestow you the honor of being my mate."

Mate? That can't be, that's.. that's not possible.

"Tae–"

The mermaid wraps you back up into his arms before you can protest, spinning you around so that you are face to face with the creature that has decided you are his to keep. His icy gaze is narrowed, his handsome features set with determination.

"Even if the sea witch lifts my curse, you will still be mine," Taehyung declares as he pulls you tight against his chest. "Your mother will perish if you leave me and so there is nothing back there for you now."

He leans down, his cold lips moving like gentle waves against your ear as he says, "You belong here, with me – forever."

a/n: i really hope you enjoyed the final chapter of TIF! it was nice to once again revisit the tcs-universe and it was fun to write a "softer" mermaid yandere story 🤧 i would love to hear what you think about the chapter – comments and reblogs make my day!! 🥺💖

if you enjoyed the story and would like to support me, you can do so here! 💖

#yandere au #yandere x reader #yandere mermaid #yandere bts #yandere taehyung #yandere bts x reader #taehyung x reader #mermaid au #mermaid bts #mermaid taehyung

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ngayawneluoer · 2 years

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you are everything

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ neteyam x reader

requested! - when you tell neteyam you want him as your mate, his insecurities impede him since he thinks you can do better than him word count: 2,223

a/n: NETEYAM IS SO BABY GIRL ARGHFDHUEHFU it was very fun to write my favourite tropes: idiots in love and mutual pining. disclaimer: nete is aged up as is the reader. I think it's pretty obvious from the events described (+ I usually write my fics w them aged up in mind), but thought I should make it very clear considering how this fic ends LOL

You had been close with Neteyam for as long as you could remember. If your thoughts sauntered to your very first memory, Neteyam was there, a constant pillar in your life that you could depend on for anything. Neither of you remembered how you met, and if they were being honest, neither did your parents. But you were attached at the hip, and no argument or disagreement had ever been able to change that. He was your best friend; there was never a thing that you felt you couldn't share with each other. Except, of course, the seedling of infatuation you held for him, which remained unspoken for a long time.

But as you grew, the seedling bloomed until you knew nothing but your love for him. And when you were 15, under the night sky in an endless field of sun lilies, you shared your first kiss with him. You remembered how the luminous freckles lining his cheeks shone like the stars; you took such pleasure in being so close to him that you could count each one. Your breaths mingled, your fingers intertwined, your hearts soaring as you spoke of nothing and everything for hours. You couldn't recall another time when you had seen him smile so much; his eyes twinkled in the dim light of the flora around you, the beauty of his features breathtakingly accentuated. The two of you had spent the night in each other's arms, finding solace in the feelings you held for each other as you lay amongst the phosphorescent flowers.

Even so, come morning, the intimate night you shared was forgotten. You couldn't pinpoint why, but neither of you seemed to want to bring it up. It hurt you a lot; you could tell it hurt him too, but you both buried yourselves in responsibilities, renouncing your feelings and leaving them undeclared. He was still your best friend, now just with baggage that neither of you wanted to unpack.

When he underwent his rite of passage and was accepted into the clan as an adult, you were sure that your secret bond would dissipate. You had watched him from the crowd, your mind caught in a battle between pride and grief. He was now an adult, allowed to choose the one who would be his mate for the rest of his life, someone who may not be you.

He carried his warrior's bow, made from the wood of hometree, a symbol of his adulthood and his place in the clan. And yet, to this day, he lacked a mate by his side. Of course, you knew that it could take years for Na'vi to choose their mate, but he was Neteyam. In your eyes, he was better than anyone, and if anyone was to have more than enough options for fine mates, it would be him.

You would never bring it up to him, though; why would you want to unintentionally encourage him to seek someone that wasn't you? Or even worse, find out that he already had eyes for someone else. You recalled a human phrase Jake had used once, 'ignorance is bliss'; you felt as if you finally understood it.

So your relationship with Neteyam remained the same, up until where you were currently, after having undergone your own ceremony to become a part of the people. It had gone by in a blur, and before you knew it, you were fleeing from the village with Neteyam, your hands not once parting as you leapt through the Pandoran forest.

"Where are you taking me, skxawng?" Neteyam had asked, a smile on his face as you dragged him further and further away from the crowds of Na'vi dispersing after your ceremony.

"It's a surprise," You grinned, turning to look at him only momentarily to shoot him a devious look.

You had one goal in mind tonight; to revisit the valley of sun lilies you and Neteyam had stumbled upon all those years ago. You only hoped that the hunch you had was correct and that the aforementioned man only lacked a mate because he was waiting on a certain someone - a certain someone who had just completed their ceremony minutes prior.

Your feet followed the path to the sun lily valley like the back of your hand, despite it being only your second time upon the route. You had been so eager to return to the place you held so dearly in your heart, and today was a perfect time. Neteyam was awed at the sight as you arrived at the edge of the sea of flowers, their bioluminescent spots reflecting the night sky's visage like a mirror.

He beamed joyfully, stepping into the knee-high blossoms, urging you to follow him, "I can't believe you brought us here. It hasn't changed a bit."

"I know…" you whispered, hands gliding past the flowers you walked by, their crowned heads glowing as they dipped under your fingers.

"Your ceremony was a sight to behold," Neteyam stated after a beat of silence.

"The dream hunt was the scariest. I'm surprised I didn't freak out when the kali'weya stung me," You said, shuddering as you recalled the venomous bite of the arachnoid.

"I'm surprised you didn't get killed by taming an ikran," He teased, a smug look on his face.

"Mean!" You blurted and shoved him lightly, though your smile distracted from any malice.

Neteyam stumbled exaggeratedly, turning to you dramatically before falling backwards into the canopy of flowers. He groaned when he landed, the flowers not cushioning his fall as much as he had hoped.

You giggled and walked over to him, sitting down much more gently than he had done. He looked up at you from where he lay, arms tucked under his head. At that moment, you were convinced he was an angel. Unbeknownst to you, he thought the same as he watched your figure above him, the moonlight forming a halo around you.

You sat together, the flora framing you like a surreal painting, and you finally began to speak the words that weighed heavy on your heart since the last time you had been here.

"Neteyam, as you know, I am now able to choose a mate," You said, looking away to fiddle with the petals of the flower resting on your shoulder, "I wanted to let you know that I have chosen someone."

"Oh… Already?" Neteyam stammered, sitting up at the unexpected announcement. He looked at you with furrowed brows, lips pursed in a sulk, but your gaze remained on the flower, afraid to meet his. Of course you had chosen someone. He was stupid to think you had taken him here to tell him you loved him.

You hummed sweetly with a gentle smile he couldn't see, "I have known for a while. I was only waiting for my ceremony so that I could make it official."

He sighed, watching you. It was like Eywa herself had sculpted you with how beautiful you looked tonight; it only served as a reminder of what he thought he was about to lose. Self-doubt planted itself into his heart, a hefty root of insecurity that told him you would never love him back, "This person you chose… they must be very lucky."

"He is."

He was silent for a moment, conflicted. On the one hand, he wanted to shut you down, never find out your decision, in fear that you had not chosen him. On the other hand, he was your best friend; you were confiding in him, and he wanted to support you. With a heavy heart, he settled on the latter. "So, who is it?"

"Well, he is smart, funny, loyal… has the kindest heart I've seen." His heart panged with jealousy and hurt, but you turned to him with a love-sick smile that caught him off guard, "He's strong, and he is an amazing friend, a caring brother," You said, your eyes meeting his with a tenderness that crumbled his heart. He had to be dreaming. He met your gaze, a deep blush painting his cheeks, "He is also very oblivious to the person confessing their love to him right now."

Neteyam gradually started to grin, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards as a dry laugh left his throat. He shook his head but couldn't battle the smile on his face.

"You cannot be serious," He muttered in disbelief. You had to be playing a cruel joke on him.

"It is how I feel, Neteyam." You attested, head tilting in an attempt to meet his eyes again. You had to admit his reaction wasn't anything you had expected it to be; you were having a hard time deciphering his behaviour, "If you do not feel the same, it is okay-"

"No, no!" Neteyam suddenly exclaimed, head shooting up only to find your face closer than expected. His breath caught in his throat at your proximity - you looked even more beautiful up close - but he willed himself to continue, "I mean, no, I don't not feel the same. I just…" He exhaled, eyes flicking upwards to the sky as if praying that Eywa would help him find the words he wanted to say. You noticed a rare, vulnerable gloom in his eyes, "I never thought…" he paused, struggling for words, "You can do better than me. "

You frowned. He had uttered the most unexpected thing he could have possibly said, "What?"

"You have better options… Marek has always been a great hunter. He has always given you looks," He babbled, eyes avoiding yours nervously, "And Arvok-"

"Neteyam."

He peeked at you finally, going quiet at the stern look on your face. He almost felt like he was being scolded by his mother; he would have laughed had it not been for the vulnerable situation.

"I think you are the only person I've ever heard try to convince a potential mate into not loving them," You scoffed, lips dancing into a grin as you grasped your hands in yours.

His cheeks flushed a deep violet, flustered. Mate. How long he had wished to hear that word fall from your lips as you spoke about him.

You smiled encouragingly, one hand cupping his cheek, "You are the one I want, you silly man."

Neteyam had no doubt now; he must have died and gone to heaven - or at least the Na'vi version of it. Only in his wildest dreams had he imagined that you would ever say those words. He laughed gleefully, grasping the hand you had on his face in his, leaning into your warm touch, "I have always wanted you. I wish I had known you felt the same."

You pushed him onto his back and climbed to sit on his lap, leaning down to meet his face with a goading grin, "What could have ever made you think I didn't want you?"

Neteyam looked up at you with such profound adoration that it made your knees weak, "You're just.. you. You're bright and strong and… perfect. Anyone would be lucky to have you," He went slightly quiet as if ashamed to speak the following words, "And after that night… you never said anything."

Of course, you knew what he was talking about; he didn't need to specify. It was the only thing on your mind for forever, and apparently, his too. You exhaled, amused at how stupid both of you had been, "You never said anything either!" You leaned down, placing a kiss on his neck. He tensed, grip tightening on your hips, but you continued, "We are very bad at communicating."

With sudden yearning, he flipped you over, your back hitting the soft grass as he held himself above you, "I'll make sure it never happens again," He muttered, face nuzzling into your neck, pressing fluttering kisses to your jaw.

You giggled, slightly ticklish from his touch. Your hands rose to play with the beads decorating his hair, fingers gently trailing down his scalp to the base of his head. Your hand followed the braid encasing his kuru, and you tugged it slightly to lift his gaze to meet yours. He groaned quietly, looking up at you in question through half-lidded eyes.

"I am ready," You whispered tenderly, eyes searching his for any doubt, "If you are."

"Yes," He spoke softly, an affectionate smile gracing his lips, "I have been for a long time."

Alluringly, he seized his kuru, dexterous fingers sweeping down the braided hair. You did the same, watching with bated breath as the organic tendrils fervently intertwined. As your queues connected, his eyes never left yours. You revelled at the sight of his pupils dilating in ecstasy, and you swore you had never seen a prettier sight. You felt every part of him, your souls connecting on a level you couldn't have even begun to imagine without experiencing firsthand. Your heart swelled with emotions, overwhelmed by his infinite adoration for you.

"Neteyam," you whined softly, delicate hands rising to hold his perfect face. He mewled in response, flustered from your sounds before his lips breathlessly met yours. Your skin flushed as he kissed you with all the passion he had pent up, relishing the quiet pleas that escaped your lips.

He knew he would never grow tired of you gasping his name.

#neteyam x reader #avatar x reader #neteyam #avatar the way of water #neteyam x y/n

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mj-dev · 11 days

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(LONG POST)

I recently read the entire ACOTAR and the first book in CC. Both series are praised for their strong female leads and the feminist characters which is the sole reason I picked these up. And now I have opinions.

Here’s my take on the female characters, mostly ACOTAR.

Feyre

In the beginning, Feyre heavily radiates masculine energy from her choice of hunting as occupation to the tired breadwinner mentality. She lacks empathy for her sisters and expresses her disdain clearly in her attitude and inner monologues, though it’s clear they do the household chores, which translates to her disregard for the ‘feminine’ work. She falls under the ‘not your typical girl’ archetype with her preference of pants over dresses and apathy towards her appearance. She makes an exception when she intends to please Tamlin. In the first book, it’s a one-time occurrence but over the course of the series, this becomes more prominent once Rhysand enters her life.

A woman, who refuses to be controlled, willingly plays Rhysand’s whore, wearing the same dress he forced her into UtM as he SA’d her. In SC, Feyre expresses her hatred towards getting dolled up and reduced to a breeding mare. While in CoN, she takes pleasure in flaunting her body and putting on a sex act in front of an entire court. This transition apparently marks her taking back her power. She describes in great detail in her inner thoughts how she enjoyed kneeling to Rhysand as part of the act and the power he held over her and the room. This is the same woman who refused to bow to any fae in the first book. She feels empowered being reduced to a sex object for Rhysand and enjoys the discomfort it causes to the court, which she radiates as she walks down from the throne. Moreover when Keir disrespects her for it, she is angry at the insult but not for being put in the position. She even enjoys how Rhysand violently punishes him for it. This becomes a role she actively and pleasurably plays in CoN for the rest of the series.

Her femininity never translates to her emotional state. Except for the one scene in the mountain cabin where she heats a soup for Rhysand, she’s not portrayed indulging in ‘womanly’ activities or mannerisms. Moreover, Feyre only embraces this side when she pleases a man. Tamlin, Rhysand, Tarquin. Despite her overtly masculine traits, she is equated to a goddess in Cassian’s monologue the moment she’s pregnant and paraded like a ‘breeding mare’ in CoN.

Feyre’s story heavily pushes the idea that being feminine is only acceptable when it satisfies a man and his desires. Over and over again, a woman who doesn’t appreciate this way of living only ever embodies it to please her partner.

Nesta

Nesta is raised and groomed to be a housewife. But she sheds that part of her life to become a warrior. This isn’t a choice of hers but thrusted onto her by the ones, mostly men, around her as this is seen as the most contributing or ‘healthy’ way of living. Where healing through softness and compassion is an option and most needed given Nesta’s trauma and history, she’s subjected to more and more violence.

Nesta begins as someone bound to be a lady, using her wits and charms as her weapons. But as the story progresses, she becomes a sword swinging warrior who becomes a close-enough reflection of Feyre. A woman who won’t wear anything but dresses as it’s not lady-like becomes someone who only wears pants and slays demons for a man. A woman who wants to travel and read and enjoy simple life with her girl friends finds purpose becoming a weapon.

A woman who’s taught to treasure her body and never has sex for the same reason until she’s into her mid-twenties turns to it when she’s hurting and becomes sexually hyperactive to the point it’s considered an ‘embarrassment’. What’s interesting here is that she’s forgiven for this when this sexual energy is focused towards the man(Cassian) everyone approves of.

Nesta enjoys reading romances, a classic hobby associated with women, which is either dismissed or joked about by Cassian. But the moment she trains to fight, he starts appreciating her. The same is seen during Eris’s seduction. Nesta’s dancing skills are known even before that and Cassian doesn’t acknowledge it until he sees her dancing with another man. Everything Nesta does or indulges in are somehow appreciated when they align with Cassian’s interests or what he desires in a woman.

Elain

The one character who is highly feminised in the series is Elain. She loves gardening, small talks and connecting with people, surrounds herself with beauty. She learns to cook and enjoys feeding/nurturing her family. She’s often described as ‘kind’ and ‘delicate’. Even in Feyre’s POV, her body is sensualised and described in ways that imply sexual allure while her emotional traits are equated to child-like innocence. She’s the epitome of femininity and she’s the damsel that needs to be saved and protected by everyone at the end of the day. Sure, this could change in her book but the bottom line is her womanliness is very much in parallel with the misogynistic standards of what and how an ideal woman should be.

Morrigan

Morrigan is very in touch with her feminine side as her interests are wearing red dresses and painting her lips red and having sex. (please hear my sarcasm) She uses men to hide her true sexuality to the point of using one of her close friends as her personal flirting companion and leading the other on who’s been pining over her for five centuries. She also enjoys to lord this over her parents and everyone in her court by wearing provocative dresses and this is her ‘expression’ of her liberation.

Amren

Throughout the series, Amren is more masculine than the male characters in some ways from the way she talks and behaves. She’s an ancient creature trapped in a fae body. She’s so disgusted by it that she can’t even grasp the need for eating specific food or relieving oneself. But the one thing she truly understands and embraces is having sex. It is ultimately the one thing that helps her to bond with another person in her long life. Even if sex is considered as a universal act among all creatures or whatever, she should feel the same about eating and shitting which she doesn’t.

Bryce

Though she fares better than the ACOTAR (except SF) women, Bryce still falls victim to this pattern. She’s introduced as someone who parties and has sex, her entire personality revolves around it that everyone perceives her as such. This soon changes but the idea often lingers. She’s always found in her underwear (which could be considered a character quirk but I highly doubt that was SJM’s intentions given everything in ACOTAR) and all the male characters tend to love her or be attracted to her body at first sight. Over and over again, her sex appeal is brought to reader’s attention and one of the ways Bryce claims her feminine nature is being very confident with her sexual prowess.

Here are some common themes which heavily contradict the foundation of feminism.

Equality & Strength

Feminism in simple terms is equality of genders. In this series, it’s anything but that. Again and again, the words are mentioned but there’s simply not much proof of that.

Feyre and Nesta have no true autonomy. Rhysand and Feyre share three different connections with each other the majority of the time which gives him control over her to some extent. In Nesta’s case, Cassian transforms her into his ideal partner when she’s at the lowest in the name of healing. He often sees her as an animal to be tamed, and so far, he’s succeeded. Not to mention, Nesta has no financial independence or agency to choose how to live.

In SC, Feyre who explicitly expresses her desires to be an equal to Tamlin complains when the opportunity is given to her to shoulder the responsibilities—socialising with the people serving her, dressing to be part of her court, sitting through a tax collecting ceremony. In NC, she becomes Rhysand’s soldier and goes on missions where she kills and maims in the most brutal ways possible. Though she is a ruler, her training and life is always focused on the arts of warring rather than administration which was what she was requested to do in SC. And once the wars are over, she complains about answering letters which are again tasks expected of a ruler. Which shows what Feyre truly sees as equality is the chance to be violent.

Also, these female characters are considered equal to male counterparts only when they are progressively aggressive. Except for some side characters, almost all women prove their strength through their fighting abilities—Feyre, Nesta, Bryce, Morrigan, Amren. (If Elain gets her own book, she will possibly perpetuate this too because SJM literally thrives on writing violence in her fantasy books. And she already did it with Hybern’s death.)

Also Feyre is only considered an equal to Rhysand after she inherits the powers of other HLs. The same is seen in Nesta’s relationship with Cassian when everyone sees her as an equal of him after she trains to be a warrior. All this implies the strength of the men is the standard to which these women have to aspire to be. None of the men are expected to change or challenge themselves to reach the level of their partners’.

Appearance

They all possess extraordinary beauty that every male character is charmed with at the first sight and they either directly pursue these women or it’s implied. And at some point or the other, their partner relish or wield this desirability against the said men—Rhysand with Tarquin, Cassian with Eris. This is prominent in SF as we don’t get much of Rhysand’s inner thoughts in the first books. Cassian objectifies Nesta even when she’s emaciated, when’s not fit—physically or mentally. The value of these women are reduced to how appealing they are to the male gaze.

Sexuality

Most of these characters come with a sheltered view of world about how a woman should be or behave. And when they finally come out of that bubble and embrace themselves and their new world view, they also become sexually proactive.

Every female character at least at one point describes being seen as a prey by their male partners. This can be attributed as the fae’s ‘primal nature’ although it is a recurring theme in every relationship. Especially for Feyre (she’s got the most books), where she describes Rhysand’s gaze as predatory. She revels in this objectification to the point she derives pleasure by entertaining and putting on a show for him.

All these women exhibit hyperactive sex drive and have multiple partners with no emotional attachment and this is seen as a sign of their empowerment. They also always use sex as a means to ease their emotional trauma, including sexual abuse. And they all have endured one variation of trauma at the hands of a man, mostly sexual, which they eventually explore and overcome being sexually active. Feyre and Rhysand. Nesta and Cassian. Morrigan with her multiple partners. (I wouldn’t be surprised if Elain’s attraction towards Azriel also falls under this category somehow with her struggle to accept her fae life and mating bond with Lucien, and SJM loves trauma dumping.)

There’s nothing wrong with owning one’s sexuality and putting one’s pleasure first, but seeing it as the only path to empowerment is absurd, which is common theme in all theses women’s growth.

Life outside their romantic relationships

The female characters either come with a set of girl friends who are her ‘ride or die’ as in case of Bryce, or bond without much depth like in case of Feyre/Morrigan/Amren. The Valkriyes are the only exception to this where the women organically grow and build genuine friendships. Given the 4.5 books are dedicated to the Archeron sisters, there is no bonding among the three except for the blame shifting and one minute heartfelt conversation where their life-long trauma is erased and forgotten.

These women have hobbies which only exist to offer that touch of femininity to them—painting, gardening, reading smut, dancing, dressing themselves in pretty clothes (while male characters have no hobbies except for Tamlin and Lucien, and in case of CC, all those men are into the same sport). Their ‘softer’ traits only rear its head when the narrative calls for proof of their kindness or empathy or reserved for their partners but not in the way of living or their character itself.

Here's the bottom line. Feminism in these books is masculinity masquerading as female empowerment. Throughout the series, what makes these women powerful is their ability to match the men in their lives. They are equal because of the brute force they embody on par with them which is basically the masculine ideal of strength. The faux feminism propaganda is blatantly obvious with the woman’s value constantly reduced to how much she is desired by men and her hyperactive sex life. These books are nothing but a mockery of feminism.

#this was a fucking trip!#book analysis #character analysis #long post #reading #bookblr #I am more critical of the author than the characters #but adding tags to avoid pros/stans #acotar critical #sjm critical #rhysand critical #feyre critical #cassian critical

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nofomogirl · 4 months

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We need to talk about body snatching

I'm not a massive fan of the 1827 minisode - if you're curious why it bothers me, I've explained it in my post about two GO canons - but there's no denying it does an amazing job at exploring the complexity of morality and moral choices. It starts with a very black-and-white two-dimensional image and gradually adds shading and perspective, making it harder and harder to judge as we go along.

I think it's worth digging into (pun not intended but I'll take it).

Layer 1: body snatching bad

We learn someone did something

It's those first few seconds where we see a person robbing a grave, and since we know that robbing graves is a crime and generally not a good thing to do, we can quickly form a tentative conclusion that this is wrong.

Okay, in this exact instance, we immediately get enough context clues to see that this kind of judgment would be oversimplistic and superficial. Only Aziraphale, who for some reason acts as if it was his first day on Earth after a thorough memory wipe, is ready to condemn Elspeth based on just that.

Nevertheless, this is the first layer - the deed itself with no context.

Layer 2: body snatching acceptable

We learn about the person who did the thing

That's the whole journey with the first dug-up body where we get to know Elspeth and become privy to her circumstances - she's desperately poor, she has another person depending on her, she robs graves to survive. Aziraphale's suggestions that she might earn her living by selling books, weaving or farming just serve to prove how inaccessible more honest and dignified professions are to her. In turn, her comment about how she's not hurting anybody who isn't already dead hints that from the realistically available options, Elspeth could have chosen something much worse.

Technically this layer is a significant step up from layer 1 but it still isn't really challenging. Things are spelt out really loud for us, and most importantly everything we learn about Elspeth is just attenuating circumstances. To top it off both she and Wee Morag are immediately endearing. The takeaway is that sometimes things that in theory are bad can be excused which is important but the verdict still comes without any second thoughts.

Layer 3: body snatching complicated

We learn the larger context around the thing

This mostly happens when Aziraphale and Crowley discuss body snatching with Mr Dalrymple. We learn that the stolen corpses are used for a medical study that can advance human knowledge and make it possible to save living people and that surgeons have no legal means to obtain enough of them for their research - hence their need to buy them from body snatchers.

At first glance it's just more of what we got in layer 2 - more agruments in favour of body snatching that aren't all that nuanced and don't really give us any pause - just from a larger perspective, beyond Elspeth's individual experience. But if you glance more than once you'll notice this is when things stop being straightforward and easy to judge.

The moment we enter a proper grey area is when Aziraphale asks why Mr Dalrymple doesn't acquire the bodies himself. This is a very valid question - while we might easily agree that studying the human body to further medical knowledge is a good thing, and with just the slightest hesitation admit that it's acceptable to resort to using stolen bodies if that is the only way the research may continue, it's not as easy to excuse taking advantage of the poor and the desperate to do the actual stealing that we know is very dangerous.

The moment we know without a doubt we are in a proper grey area is when Mr Dalrymple laughs at Aziraphale's concern.

Objectively, the surgeon is right that it's more effective if he doesn't risk his own life in the graveyard and uses his time on actual research, teaching students and saving lives. But it's also clear he doesn't exactly see people like Elspeth as actual human beings and feels he has every right to use them. On the one hand, he is paying, on the other, he happily benefits from the cruel class system and is not even one bit remorseful about it. On the one hand, he takes risks too, on the other he has a chance of rewards Elspeth will not benefit from. It's not the poorest whose lives will get bettered by the progress of medicine, even though they're the ones who pay with their lives for that progress. And if Mr Dalrymple gets lucky and is knighted for his work (we know he wasn't in the end but it was a possibility), the poor still won't be pardoned for stealing for him. Nevertheless, he has no issue with that.

As I said, things get nuanced.

Layer 4: it's different when it's someone you know

The thing actually happens in your life

I think you'll all agree that the turning point of the minisode is when Elspeth decides to sell Wee Morag's still warm body. This is what finally leaves us speechless.

That's because up until now we've been approaching the issue intellectually. It's not that we didn't care about the characters, but we were allowed to keep a safe distance. The whole thing was like a problem to be solved - "Is body snatching right or wrong? Discuss in 500-1000 words" - and everything we've learned so far was data for this assignment. I believe that one of the reasons why this detachment came naturally was that there was a very thick line between people involved in body snatching and the bodies that were being snatched. The former were, well, people, obviously. The latter were inanimate objects.

It isn't until Wee Morag is to be sold that we are forced to see a person in a dead body. This is also when real emotions enter the equation.

This shift forces us to question our judgment for the first time. It was easy to justify Elspeth when she was selling a nameless corpse. But the fact that she decided to sell her closest companion - and most likely lover - shocks us. Something inside us strongly objects to how quickly she makes the decision.

And then there's the transaction, and it is also different when it's someone we know. The fact that we knew Wee Morag fully exposes Mr Dalrymple for the heartless jerk that he is. The way he treats Elspeth is the absolute worst and if you haven't realized he was a hypocrite earlier, you should be disillusioned by now.

But at least Elspeth is not a hypocrite, right? It may seem cold that she sold Wee Morag but it just proves she simply believed it's all right to sell a dead body, doesn't it?

Well, about that...

Layer 5: it's different when it's you

You are forced to face the thing happening to you

This layer is reached when Elspeth plans her suicide and asks Aziraphale and Crowley to bury her "somewhere where no ghouls will ever dig her back up again".

It turns out Elspeth McKinnon really was a filthy liar.

Not long ago she was insisting that body snatching doesn't hurt anyone who isn't already dead, and asking why she should let Wee Morag rot in the ground when she starves. But she wants to make sure it doesn't happen to her own body. The idea that someone might dig her up terrifies her and she calls people who do it ghouls. So why was digging up other people okay again? Why should she rot in the ground while other people suffer? There were other people living in the street where she and Wee Morag hid. Why not ask Aziraphale to give the money to them? Or just anybody in need? Why not ask to sell her body as well and use the earnings the same way?

Also, if you look at it from a certain perspective, Elspeth betrayed Wee Morag in the worst possible way. Wee Morag believed that if someone's body gets cut, that person's soul cannot enter Heaven. Yet Elspeth sold her to Mr Dalrymple, claiming that Wee Morag would have wanted her to have the means to survive. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps Wee Morag would have made that sacrifice. But then Elspeth decided to kill herself and use the money she got for Wee Morag's body for her own funeral.

But does it make Elspeth wicked? Certainly not. She's simply torn by grief. I seriously doubt she's been planning to commit suicide when she was taking Wee Morag to Mr Dalrymple. She might have genuinely tried to carry on but the reality of what happened caught up to her. Mr Dalrymple's cruel words certainly didn't help her cope with a personal tragedy. I even suspect one of the reasons she sold her friend was that she had no idea what else to do with a dead body.

Does this excuse her actions? Kind of, but not really.

Elspeth was a tragic character, not an innocent lamb with a heart of gold.

The point is - can any of us really judge her?

Which, coincidentally, is a question that the original Good Omens book toyed with quite a lot.

If you've reached this far, thank you for reading!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #season 2 episode 3 #the ressurectionists #elspeth #wee morag #body snatching

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kzdigiarc · 8 months

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desire ♱ 001

♰ pairings :: ot8 vampire!ateez x fem!witch!reader

♰ genre :: dark fantasy, smut, strangers to ?? to lovers, fluff, maybe slight angst?, soulmates/fated lovers

♰ gen. content :: polyamory , references to religious themes, witchcraft and magick, mythical beings of all kinds, mentions of other idols, vampires with magical abilities, switches povs

♰ chapter warnings :: fear/anxiety, description of injury

♰ word count :: 8.1k 0_0

♰ note :: this took me entirely too long but hey! first chapter woohoo!! this will be my first time ever writing a series but i'm very excited :] pls give me feedback i'd love to hear your thoughts! and if i missed any warnings lmk!!

♰ main m.list | series m.list | next ♰

i've been walking for quite some time, i realize probably much later than i should. the sun had started setting long ago and now the forest was almost too dark to really see anything. but i need this mushroom. if this ointment isn't finished by tomorrow the merchants will never buy it and then how will i feed myself for the next week or so-

snap!

i feel my heart thump against my rib cage as my head whips up at the distinct sound of a twig snapping. i focus my gaze on where the sound came from and watch as a squirrel scuttles up the trunk of a large tree. i feel the tension in my body release a little. great, now i'm being paranoid. if i hadn't gotten so absorbed in that book then maybe i wouldn't have to be out here past dark searching for a damn plant. as i grumble to myself internally, i become less and less aware of my steps which is never good for someone who trips over thin air more than is probably considered normal. and in that moment, the universe seems to prove that point by way of me tripping over a large rock and falling flat on my stomach. i groan as pain shoots through my already bruised knees (from tripping prior to this). brushing off dirt and leaves i stand back up and huff. i accept defeat and turn to hopefully find my way back to my cabin. only to realize, i have no idea where i am. have i seriously wandered so far? i do a 360 and cannot recognize any of the trees surrounding me. anxiety starts to settle in my gut as i come to the conclusion i am very lost. you'd think living in the woods would teach me enough lessons about roaming said woods in the dark...but apparently not. even still, standing here will get me nowhere so i turn back the way (i think) i came from and start to make the journey back. i pray to every god there is that i do not manage to get more lost as i try to keep track of the trees that i am passing… with little luck since its only getting darker.

ssssnap!

i freeze mid step as a branch snaps somewhere behind me. whatever that was sounded much bigger than a squirrel. my heart pounds in my chest as the overwhelming fear twists my gut. reluctantly, my head turns to the sound to see nothing but a vast, dark ocean of trees. the once comforting darkness spikes my paranoia as my eyes struggle to focus on my surroundings. i hear another branch snap and whip my head to my right. still, i see nothing but darkness. this is not good. with no other option, i continue the path i started. anxiety courses through me as i walk and now im acutely more aware of every little sound, down to the puff of my own breath leaving my mouth. as the fear crawls up my spine, i start to walk faster and faster until im damn near jogging. i continuously stumble over the natural debris covering the forest floor but i keep my brisk pace, not bothering to slow down.

as my boots catch on a particularly large tree branch, i fall and look up to see that i seem to have come into a decent sized... clearing. in the middle of the woods? i push myself to my feet and look around to see a near perfect circle of space between the cluster of trees. i step farther out of the tree line and strain my eyes to try and see anything that could help me identify where i am. but i definitely would have remembered this clearing if i'd ever stumbled across it before. i've never seen anything like this in these woods besides the clearing surrounding my own home. as i look around confusedly, i forget that there was a small chance i was being followed by something. instead astonishment replaces the fear as i look around. but not for long. i start to hear the distinct sound of crunching leaves coming from my right. this time my entire body freezes for a fraction of a second and i do not turn to see whatever it is coming for me. instead i turn left and start to run. as i sprint through the tree line, i make it long enough that the clearing behind me starts to morph back into endless trees. but turning back to look proves to be a mistake as i trip once again and fall, unable to catch myself as i collide with the ground. sharp pain shoots through my knee again and i know this time i would not just have a bruise. i wince and cry as i push into the dirt to roll onto my back.

through my fear, i could only hear my boots making contact with the earth beneath me but now that i am still i can definitely hear the pursuit of something coming towards me. it doesn't sound like running but then again i may not be able to hear over the sound of my own pounding heart and heaving breaths. i attempt to scramble to my feet and push through the pain in my leg but i can only manage a weak limping jog. i feel tears pool in my eyes as i stop to lean my side against a tree. there's just no way i'll make it to my cabin like this. and there's no way i'd beat whatever it is that's following me. as the pain in my knee starts to throb, i sink lower until i'm sitting with my back against the tree. through my wallowing i failed to realize that the sound from before had stopped. as i turn my head to look around, i spot a silhouette off to my left. back from where i originally started running. it looks like.... a person? who in their right mind would be out this far? it seems like the seconds drag on as i stare wordlessly at the unmoving figure. i have no options to weigh so i wait. for impending doom most certainly. but there's nothing i can really do. trying to get up again really isn't practical and would just alert them to my location, if they don't see me already.

i blink and suddenly the figure looks a lot closer than they were a second ago. no... my mind is playing tricks on me no one moves that fast. my heart rate kicks into high gear as the figure starts to become larger. they're definitely getting closer. my reflexes kick in and i scramble with no success to get onto my feet. i hear my breath stutter and a cry threatens to leave my lips as the figure finally really comes into view and then stops. though it's still very dark, they're close enough now that i can see the person is a man. he's human looking... enough. but that doesn't really quell my fear. he's still not close enough that he could hear me if i spoke in a normal tone but i know he can see me. i watch as his head tilts to the side for a second before he starts to walk, much slower now, towards me.

"are you injured?" though he's still not very close, his voice carries and i can hear the genuine concern (and confusion) in his tone. he sounds human enough. i nod, not trusting my voice at this current moment. he walks until he's standing an arms length away and then crouches down.

"i apologize. i didn't mean to frighten you, are you lost?" oh. though i tried to focus on his words i became quickly distracted by his voice. a smooth rich tenor that made my brain a little fuzzy. i still can't see his face clearly but he has to be pretty with a voice like that. i was so caught up in my own thoughts i completely ignored his question. "oh, that may not be an appropriate thing to ask... uh if you're okay with it, i may be able to help you." he quickly backpedals once he gets no response from me. it takes me a few seconds to answer but really what have i got to lose? only my literal life. i can't get anywhere like this and there's... something about him. i would say my intuition has never done me wrong and if i'm trusting it, he doesn't seem likely to hurt me. so i nod once again and try to will the shakiness out of my voice.

"okay... i um, i can't walk." i say, my voice quiet as i look to my leg that is still in pain. he follows my gaze as if he could really see what i was referring to. nevermind the dark, he definitely can't see past the two skirts i have on and the knee high socks and combat boots. he seems to realize this fact as he clears his throat and turns back to me.

"i can carry you... if that's alright with you, of course." he answers back. he almost sounds shy... or embarrassed? not being able to see his face clearly is really bugging me but i nod anyway. he moves to make it easier for him to maneuver me before an arm encircles my waist and i'm being lifted from my seated position. i quickly swing my arm to go around his shoulders, ignoring the warmth i feel creeping up my neck, and try to hold most of my weight. once he has me mostly lifted up he scoops his other arm under my legs. i hiss when the movement causes a jolt of pain through my knee.

i feel him tense and i rush to reassure him. "i'm okay, sorry my knee is just.... i'm fine really." i say and he relaxes, letting out a soft ‘okay’ as he stands back up to full height. as he starts to walk i can't help but try and study his face. this close i can see him a bit more clearly but not by much, the only light being from the bright, full moon. i can see enough to notice his hair and the outline of his features but not much more than that. as i look at him, i feel a question bubble to the surface and can't help but voice it.

"why are you helping me?" i ask hesitantly, hoping it doesn't sound like an accusation.

"well... had i not frightened you, you would not have gotten injured. i do sincerely apologize, i had not expected you to run." he says matter-of-factly, like that was the entire reason he approached me in the first place. even though i can feel that that’s not the entire reason he started to follow me, i see nothing else to say so we continue on in silence. i watch as the trees break and we end up back in the clearing. which confuses me but i say nothing. once we're a few paces away from the tree line he stops. expecting to see nothing, i turn and look out into the clearing. except now there's a very large mansion sitting in the middle of it. my jaw drops as i stare. there's absolutely no way i would've missed that! but then i feel it. there's a subtle tremor in the air like a shimmering in the energy. magick. it tingles against my senses and if i didn't practice magick i would never have felt it. but it's definitely there. there’s no way… illusion magick is hardly used anymore and you'll find very few who are able to conjure illusions around anymore, most magick users being wary of them. so how he managed an illusion this strong is beyond me. i reach out with my senses, trying to feel the man's aura but i sense nothing out of the ordinary. he feels… normal. so how in the hell- he's..not alone. as the realization dawns on me, the mansion comes to life, lights turning on inside and out.

"ah, this would probably be a good time to mention that i do not live alone." he says sheepishly as he looks down at my awestruck expression. "most of my housemates should be asleep or off to their own activities so we most likely won't be disturbed." i don't miss the maybes in that statement.

"oh...okay." i breathe out still not believing my eyes. just as he's about to continue walking, the grand front door slowly swings open. i think i hear him mutter something under his breath but i don't pay attention long enough to try and discern what it was. the man standing at the door is tall in stature and i notice a similarity in the way they carry themselves with the grace of someone of high status. almost royal in a way. he strides down the steps towards where we stand but stops farther away than i assumed he was going to.

"who's this?" the taller man says as he looks between me and the man currently cradling me. i probably should've gotten his name. he seems to realize this too as he looks down at me with furrowed brows.

"y/n... i'm y/n." i answer instead, trying to save the awkwardness.

"and i'm yunho, nice to meet you. what...happened, seonghwa?" yunho smiles as he says it but he shares a look with his housemate, who i now know the name of, that i don't understand.

"i startled her and she fell while running. her knee seems to be injured." seonghwa summarizes but there's another look that passes between the two. like they're not just having this conversation out loud.

"ah, i see. well in that case, you're in good hands." yunho shifts his gaze to me and his eyes soften, similar to the way it would if you were trying to console a wounded animal. i can't help but smile at the kindness in his tone. seonghwa walks up to yunho and the latter turns to go back up the steps with us in tow. as we walk through the door, i'm immediately overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of the interior. and we're only in the foyer! i can't even begin to imagine the rest of the mansion.

the decor is dark; a blend of black, silver, and shades of red everywhere you turn. in the middle of the foyer sits a small pedestal with a statue of a woman with devilish wings standing atop it. she stares up with long, clawed hands reaching up towards the luxurious chandelier that glitters like diamonds. the floors are dark marbled tile and the ceilings are higher than i thought was ever possible. there's a wide, curved staircase on either side leading up to what i can assume is another beautiful foyer. down the hall in front of us leads to what i can see is the living room on one side and the kitchen and dining area on the other. i can't see the details from here but i see the decor in there is also black and red. the entire place is lit up in a warm glow from the light fixtures lining the walls.

as i admire the opulence, i forget about the two men waiting with me. that is until i feel eyes on me. when i snap out of my daze i see yunho looking at me, there's a gentle smile curving his lips and w o w. in the dark i couldn't make out his features very well but... he is beautiful. even more so than his home. my eyes rove over his tall, lean figure and i try not to let my jaw hang. his brown hair is highlighted with honey blonde streaks throughout and his skin is perfectly clear. he's dressed head to toe in black with a long overcoat that brushes the back of his shins. the only color in his ensemble is the red on the inside of his coat and red accents on the undone buttons of his loose black shirt. the smile curving his lips slowly morphs into a smirk as i continue to stare. we make eye contact and i shift my gaze immediately, embarrassed at having been caught.

"we will have to go upstairs, all of my supplies are in the study at the moment." seonghwa says apologetically, though i only realized halfway through his statement that he was speaking to me. i turn to look up at him and am once again struck by beauty beyond my comprehension. no seriously, what did i walk into? and how many more of them are there?! i try (and fail) to stare less but i can't help it. his eyes are sharp, almost piercing but also kind as he looks at me. blonde strands of hair fall into his eyes and i have the strangest urge to push them away. his skin is clear even this close and he smells delightful. has he smelt like this the whole time and why have i just noticed? i snap out of it quickly enough that neither of them suspects my silence and reassure him that it's fine.

"i'll leave you both to it, i have things to attend to. but if you need anything let me know." yunho smiles and bows his head at me before passing another silent look with seonghwa. he walks away, hands in his pockets as he takes the steps. he turns as he gets to the top, sparing me a last look and there's something i can't put my finger on in his eyes. but then he's disappearing down the hall before i can decipher what his look meant.

seonghwa

i look down at the girl in my arms out of my periphery again. for the millionth time since we arrived at the mansion. i wonder if she's noticed me stealing glances at her. not likely considering she has yet to mention it. i just don't understand. she shouldn't have been able to get into the clearing let alone our home. she stumbled through the barrier completely unaware of the alarm she raised inside these very walls. we all felt it when she passed through. the dim trill in the air, a slight shift in the energy. i can still feel the way my hair stood on edge and my senses heightened. our magick is powerful, we'd made very sure of it. so how was she here? and why? from what i can tell, she seems very human. she smells very human.

she was right to have run at first but then she put up no fight coming here. it made no sense. this poor girl... she has no earthly clue what she's willingly walked herself into. or rather allowed me to lead her into. even now as i carry her up the steps, she seems utterly calm. of course i can still feel the way her heartbeat hasn't gone back to normal and i can feel the nervousness around the edges of her energy. but every time she looks up at me, her eyes are clear. no worry creasing her forehead or apprehension in her gaze. just clear curiosity. and i feel no anxiety with her here. not really. except for the swirling confusion, i feel... relaxed. definitely not how i should feel with an intruder in our veiled home. but i can sense it on yunho too. he wasn't afraid, just curious. maybe a little concerned. for her... she really shouldn't be here.

i look at her once again and can’t help but be endeared at the awestruck expression that hasn’t left her features since we first stepped through the door. her eyes are wide with wonder as she looks around the halls and her lips are slightly parted as she takes everything in. i don’t even realize how long i’m staring, my eyes tracing over her features as we walk. despite how human she looks, she’s… beautiful. in an imperfect way. bright eyes, full lips, round cheeks, moles and freckles scattered across her nose. i watch as her lashes flutter every time she blinks and the way her tongue pokes out to wet her lips before she closes them. she’s enchanting. the thought snaps me out of my trance and i look forward to see us approaching the study.

as we come to the door of the study i can hear the low murmur of voices on the other side. i pause, not wanting to disturb whoever is on the other side and also not wanting anymore of my housemates to know she's here. not that they can't smell her or sense her... but it would be best that no one else saw her. i don’t get much time to ponder my options because within the next second the study door swings open to reveal two more of my housemates. how lovely.

reader

oh you’ve got to be kidding me… i probably have the facial expression of someone who’s just seen a comet but really you can’t blame me. not only am i astonished by the sight of the immaculate study with a large, dark mahogany desk and more shelves of books than i could ever afford. but there’s also two very beautiful men staring at me inquisitively from the open doorway.

“ah, i wasn’t aware we had company.” the shorter of the two says, clear apprehension in his tone as he looks me over. our eyes lock and mine roam over his face, his features somehow both soft and sharp. his blonde hair is styled and he’s dressed in a long, black overcoat that brushes the backs of his knees with red trim on the bottom with a vest over the white button up he wears. the buttons on his garments are all silver as is the jewelry that adorns his wrists and neck. my eyes trail over the necklaces he’s layered, all looking like they’d take me years to scrounge up enough money for one. grand, colored jewels and crosses hang off the chains of multiple while some just look like chain links. i glance back up at his face to see him already looking at me, a smirk curling his lips and a brow quirked. i quickly turn my attention to the man standing next to him to see him already looking at me, his gaze heavy and unreadable. where the other man’s features are softer, his are all sharp. piercing eyes, angled nose, plump lips, and a sharp jawline. he’s dressed in similar clothing except the inside of his coat is a deep purple and he has much more accessories. large rings, long necklaces, a plethora of bracelets. the top few bottons of his shirt are popped open and the muscular planes of his chest are on display. he’s much taller than the other two men and his long, muscular-looking legs show for it. his eyes never leave my face and for some reason, the look in his gaze makes me nervous causing me to look away quickly.

“i apologize, she got injured and i offered my assistance. it is much too dark for anyone to be out there alone. we won’t be very long.” seonghwa says, sounding only slightly apologetic. it seems like he has more to say, an undercurrent to his tone, but he just shares a long look with the shorter male. the two men standing together look to each other, another one of those unspoken looks passing between the two.

“that’s fine, we were… just about finished in here anyway.” the tallest one states and his voice, much deeper than the other two, pulls my gaze back to him. although he was speaking to seonghwa, his intense gaze stayed trained on me. there’s a question in his gaze but i’m not too sure what it’s about. i’m once again forced to look away but not before i got to drink in his features a little. it really shouldn’t surprise me that these two are just as gorgeous as seonghwa and yunho but still i am awestruck by their features. the two leave the room, both brushing past us quickly and not sparing a last glance as they continue down the long hall.

seonghwa very quickly walks into the study and pushes the door closed with his foot. did i hear the lock click or am i imagining things? seonghwa sets me down gently on a soft brown sofa, being conscious of my injured knee. once he sees that i’m mostly comfortable, he paces over to the large desk and rifles through the drawers before pulling out a first aid kit. i take the time to really take in the room, straining my eyes to read the spines of the books i could see from where i sit. i can recognize a plethora of books on foliage and herbs, some i know i have on my own shelves.

“those books are san’s. he takes an interest in anything to do with plants and herbs.” seonghwa’s voice from the desk startles me out of my daze as i look to him. he looks to be pretty busy shuffling through the first aid, i didn’t think he was paying me any mind. but there’s a gentle smile on his face that i know i am not the cause of. there’s a fondness in his tone and aura when he spoke of this san, that must be why he’s smiling.

“well, ’san’ and i have something in common then.” i respond, a smile that mirrors his playing on my lips.

“is that what you were in the forest for?” seonghwa inquires as he rounds the desk with what looks to be an ice pack, black gloves, and bandages in hand.

i nod. “yes, i was looking for something to finish off this ointment i'm making. i was supposed to have it by tomorrow to take into town but… i don't think that's going to happen.” i say the last statement with a sigh as i look down at my hands fiddling in my lap.

seonghwa hums as he comes to stand next to me on the sofa and i take note of how tall he is now that he’s not holding me. he kneels down to be directly in front of my knee, pulling the gloves over his nimble fingers. “well, i truly do not think it’d be safe for you to try and find your way back to your home now that night has fallen. even if one of us went with you, the forest is… different at night. but san may be able to help you find that plant in the morning, if that's something you'd appreciate. i don't assume this area of the forest is familiar to you?” as he speaks, he starts to move my skirts up and out of his way but my socks are still an issue.

i answer him as i lean down to help him remove my boots and socks. “no… no i’m not familiar with this area at all. and i actually have no idea how i found myself over here… i wasn't meant to go too far but then it started to get dark and i lost my way… a few times.” i keep my gaze off him as embarrassment floods my mind. once my clothing is out of the way, we're both able to actually see the injury and i hear seonghwa take a sharp inhale next to me. that doesn't look pretty at all. my knee is inflamed and swollen with a nasty looking bruise right underneath and small cuts all over. i reach out to gingerly press two fingers to it and immediately retract my hand with a hiss.

“how bad is your pain?” i look to seonghwa to see him studying the injury with furrowed brows. his gloved hands are cold as he shifts my leg back and forth, probably trying to gauge my mobility. but even that slight movement causes pain to shoot through my leg and i wince, reflexively trying to move out his gentle grasp. he murmurs an apology as he looks up at me through his lashes. i’m momentarily distracted by his gaze but quickly shake myself out of it.

“it's… pretty bad. there's a dull throb even when i don't move it.” i answer his earlier question and try my hardest to keep still as he grabs a wipe from his lap to start cleaning the cuts. seonghwa nods but otherwise stays quiet as he starts the process of fixing the injury. we sit in silence as he cleans, bandages, and wraps my knee. i find it very difficult to keep my eyes off his face as his hands move nimbly on my skin. his beauty is incomparable, strong brows furrowed with concentration, sharp eyes with pretty lips. as if he can feel my stare, his eyes flick up to mine. i look away quickly pretending to stare at the shelf behind his head. i really hope he can’t hear the way my heartbeat sped up with that nanosecond of eye contact because it feels as if the organ might jump out of my chest. a man i just met should not have this effect on me. get a hold of yourself!

seonghwa continues his work on my knee, seemingly completely unaware of my inner turmoil. between the calming silence and seonghwa’s gentle touches against my leg, i find myself relaxing further and further into my seat. just as my eyes start to feel heavy, a soft knock sounds on the wooden doors. both our heads look to the doors before i hear seonghwa sigh and mumble something along the lines of “excuse me” under his breath. he stands up and brushes the wrinkles out of his pants, making his way to the door. the beautiful, billowy sleeves of his white blouse sway with his arms as they swing at his sides and i watch him walk as if in a trance. i snap myself out of it and instead turn my gaze to inspect my knee. now that it’s cleaned and bandaged it doesn’t look as gruesome. the cool ice pack is relieving the pain and throbbing but the swelling won’t be down for a while. i’ll have to wait for seonghwa to make a decision on whether i’ll require more care or not but it doesn’t feel like anything more than a sprain. i test it out by twisting my leg and of course, feel pain shoot up my leg but surprisingly not as bad as before. my inspection is interrupted when seonghwa opens the door and a voice i recognize speaks up.

“i apologize for disturbing you but hongjoong needs you. right now.” i hear seonghwa make a disapproving sound and i turn to look at the two. yunho’s already looking at me and seonghwa seems to be hesitant to leave.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, you can leave me if you need to attend to other things. can’t do much like this anyway.” i gesture to my leg and try to smile reassuringly. truthfully, the thought of being left alone in this beautiful strange home is making me nervous but i don’t need either of them to know that. both their brows furrow as they listen to me, neither of them really trusting my words. finally, seonghwa nods with a resigned sigh.

“i would not advise putting pressure on it but you should be alright to walk soon. allow the swelling some time to alleviate and do be careful.” he instructs and turns with a bow. yunho comes into the study and closes the door behind him. he takes long strides to the sofa opposite of mine and takes his seat. just like with seonghwa, i become entranced with the way he moves so gracefully despite his long limbs and stature.

“if you don’t mind me asking, how’d you do that?” yunho inquires curiously. his eyes are on my bandaged knee and he flicks them to my face for a second before looking back.

mildly embarrassed, i laugh before explaining how i’d gotten here. i choose to leave out the part where seonghwa absolutely terrified me and pretend that me falling was all my own doing. i brush my hair back out of my face as i finish my spiel and it dawns on me that i probably look an absolute mess. i suppress the urge to cringe into myself, suddenly self-conscious.

if yunho notices my sudden shift in attitude, he doesn’t mention it. instead he hums and nods as he looks back to me. “how does it feel? i know seonghwa’s pretty skilled with things like that. are you in any pain?” he asks and something about his voice puts my nerves at ease. i try not to think any longer about how the man sitting in front of me makes me feel and focus on answering his questions.

i shrug and shift my knee back and forth but notice the pain has subsided significantly. huh… that’s strange. “well… it doesn’t really seem to hurt at all anymore. doing this before hurt quite a bit but now i feel… fine.” i say, confusion lacing my words. i bend my knee experimentally and although it feels sore, the pain is barely noticeable. my brows furrow and i put my leg back down. yunho seems to understand my confusion and chuckles.

“seonghwa’s got a way with wounds. we’ve all experienced it, trust me. you’ll be back to normal quite fast.” he stands and walks over to the desk, putting away the supplies seonghwa left out by accident. as he busies himself with that, i feel my attention shift back to the row of herbal books. one book in particular standing out to me. the spine is dark green with big, gold letters in a beautiful font and on the base, a golden honey cup mushroom.

“would you like to read it?” i hear yunho’s voice from behind me and i jump, obviously too distracted to have noticed him move from the desk. he chuckles under his breath and the sound gives me butterflies. i shake away the feeling, internally reprimanding myself. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you. those are sannie’s books but i’m sure he wouldn’t mind you taking a look. do you want me to get it for you?” i turn around to see him leaning back against the shelves behind the sofa i’m on. this man is sinfully beautiful.

clearing my throat, i respond. “no no, i think i can get up.” i lean down and pull my socks back on before carefully swinging my legs over to plant my feet on the marbled floors. i hear rustling behind me and see yunho making his way around the sofa. i push my hands into the cushions underneath me as i try to stand. yunho extends an arm to me a little panickedly, not trusting my balance and injured knee. but i wave my hand and get to my feet on my own. once i’m standing, i make sure to shift my weight to the non-injured leg and take a step. my face scrunches as i feel the soreness in my knee but it’s nothing i haven’t handled before.

i limp my way over to the shelf and immediately my gaze zeros in on the pretty green book. i run my index finger over the lettering that reads “Mushroom Magick” before gently pulling it off the shelf. the cover has the same phrase with many different kinds of mushrooms decorating a circle around the words. the book feels familiar even though i know i don’t own this one and i flip to a random page. the page has a plethora of notes scrawled in rushed handwriting with highlights on phrases the owner of the book deemed important. i smile to myself reading some of the notes i assume the aforementioned ‘sannie’ left. i continue to flip through and read over the random notes they left before i finally come to a page without any annotations. this is where i assume they left off but i continue to skim through the pages until a presence behind me breaks my focus. i snap my head to see yunho standing a few paces behind me with his hands behind his back. he seems startled by the way i turned but recovers quickly with a polite smile.

“i’m sorry to disturb you… but i promised seonghwa i’d make sure you were resting and i noticed your shifting. you can bring the book with you to the sofa, you probably shouldn’t be standing on your leg for so long.” yunho explains as he gestures to said sofa. in all honesty, i hadn’t even noticed my shifting so his observation is impressive… but that also means he’d been watching me pretty carefully and the thought makes me a little nervous. i have half the mind to decline his offer but a part of me feels like he’s more persistent than that. with a resigned sigh and nod, i limp back over to the sofa, mushroom book in my hand with my index finger in between the page i’m on to make sure i don’t lose it. i take my seat and he follows suit sitting, with much more grace than i had, on the sofa opposite to me. i notice his lack of entertainment and wonder for a second what he’s going to do while we sit here but decide that’s none of my concern before opening the book back up to the page i was on.

the room is silent save for the sound of our a clock ticking and the pages of the book in my hands turning. i become quickly engrossed in what i’m reading, so much so i pay no mind to the man in the room with me. though i did look up one time when he got up to go to the desk. and maybe i stared at his figure for much longer than was necessary. it’s not like he noticed, by the time he’d turned back around my nose was in my book. a few more minutes and pages later, he gets back up again. this time he goes to examine a different shelf, one i can’t decipher the contents of from where i’m sat. i watch as he paces before he sighs softly to himself. he must feel my eyes because he swivels to turn to me. i snap my head down and try to refocus on the book but i can see from my periphery, him making his way over to the other sofa. i look up again as he sits and send him a small smile which he returns. i can see he wants to say something so i wait for him to speak before turning away.

“would you… like a tour of the mansion? i can see you’re enjoying your book so i apologize but… i feel i might lose it being stuck in this room.” his smile is shy as he asks. he tries to look relaxed but the bouncing of his leg is hard to miss. i consider his offer as i stare at the ground, not really able to look any of them in the eye for very long. what i’d seen of their home was absolutely atonisihing and it’s hard for me to even imagine what the rest may look like so out of sheer curiosity (and maybe a small desire to want to be around his calming presence) i nod my agreement.

his smile widens as he stands, holding his hands behind his back. i close the book, making a mental note of the page i was on in case i come back before placing it down on the cushion beside me. i get to my feet and i see yunho’s arm come from behind his back, probably to offer me support, but then he retracts it just as quickly when he sees me walking fine on my own. i start for the door, listening as yunho falls into step behind me. once we reach the door he side steps around me and reaches for the handle, pushing the door open and letting me step out into the hallway before him. the house is quiet as i look down the long hallways, yunho closing the door behind me before coming up on my right side. he smiles down at me as i look to him for directions and standing this close i can finally see just how tall he is. he gestures down the hallway to our right and turns to start walking, me having to play catch up to keep in time with his long strides.

“hongjoong, seonghwa, and i designed this entire place ourselves. though most of the detail was seonghwa hyungs’ ideas.” he explains as we keep a leisure pace, allowing me to take in the beautiful architecture and artwork on the walls. we pass by many doors, yunho telling me what lies behind each one as we pass. another smaller study that only a few of them use, a few bedrooms one of which is unoccupied, a library that belongs to someone named ‘yeosang’. the heels of our boots clack against the marbled tile floors and his coat rustles as it fans out behind his long legs in the same way my skirts rustle as i walk. but a beautiful painting stops me in my tracks and yunho slows to a stop alongside me. i reach my hand out to brush over the canvas with barely my fingertips, mouth agape in awe. in the painting a beautiful woman with wings much like the ones on the statue in the foyer sits in the middle of a meadow, in one hand a large pomegranate and the other a skull of an animal. her lips are stained red with the juices of the pomegranate but the way she’s depicted licking it off her teeth as the juice drips off her tongue makes it look like blood. she’s completely nude, skin glowing from the light of the pale moon in the dark, starry sky over her head. a crow sits perched near her feet, picking at the seeds she took out the pomegranate and a cat is curled by her side, sleeping peacefully. her long dark hair flows beautifully down to her thighs, nearly brushing over the sleeping kittens ears.

it’s completely unlike any painting i’ve seen, the artist putting such detail into the setting and atmosphere of the scene depicted. there’s something serene and intimate about the mood, like your’e peeking in on a moment between this woman and her companions. i turn to look at yunho to see him admiring the painting much like i was just doing. there’s a faint smile on his lips as his eyes trace over it before looking over to me. it’s then that the feeling one of the residents of this home must have painted this themselves presents itself in my thoughts.

“it took yeosang years to perfect this masterpiece but it’s one of his most prized pieces of work.” yunho confirms my previous suspicions as he brings up this ‘yeosang’ once again. looking back to the painting i can offer no other response but open-mouted awe. yunho chuckles at my expression. “yeosangie would be very flattered by your clear admiration. would you like to see more of his art or the rest of this wing?” he leaves the choice up to me as if it’s an easy decision. i look at him and then down the hall, lips parting to answer but the sound of a door opening pulls both of our attention. yunho turns to face down the hallway ahead of us as a figure steps out the opened door into the hallway with us. from the way he’s positioned, the other person can probably barely see me behind yunho’s giant figure. i try to step to the side to see down the hall but yunho’s arm closest to me moves up very subtly, a silent way of telling me to stay put.

“yunho? who were you talking to?” a clear, slightly husky voice asks. it sounds like whoever it was has just woken up.

“ah… no on-” yunho starts to deny my presence for reasons i don’t understand. a pit forms in my gut as anxiety creeps up my spine. why wouldn’t this other man be able to know i was here? i shift my weight to my non-injured leg, biting at my bottom lip nervously. the movement was a mistake because my skirts shift and ripple behind yunho’s legs. the other man’s eye immediately zone in on the movement and i freeze. i see yunho’s shoulders tense as the other man’s gaze slowly trails back up to look his housemate in the eye. then yunho releases a puff of air letting his shoulders drop and he steps to the side ever so slightly. “seonghwa brought her here. she got lost in the forest and hurt herself. i was just showing her around.” yunho explains, sounding defeated. the other man looks me over with his head tilted and cat-like eyes narrowed in suspicion. he’s not as tall as yunho but is broader than him, wide shoulders drawing my attention even from this distance. his jet black hair is ruffled from having just been asleep. he’s clad in a black t-shirt and sweatpants, the most casual dress of any the men i’ve seen thus far. our gazes lock and he seems to be trying to read me as he stares, eyes flitting around my face.

yunho breaks the tense silence by clearing his throat. “y/n, this is san. i think i mentioned him to you earlier in the study. san, this is y/n.” all san does in response is hum, looking away from me back to yunho.

“does hongjoong know you’re showing her around?” san inquires, brow raised. yunho looks away, scratching the back of neck nervously. ah, that must’ve been why he didn’t want san to see me. but who was this ‘hongjoong’? every time he’s been mentioned, they speak of him in this high regard. “yunho… do you even know how long seonghwa plans on keeping her here? should she really be seeing… everyone?” as he asks the last question, san’s gaze turns to me again. there isn’t as much hardness in his gaze, just apprehension. like he doesn’t trust me. i suppose that would make sense, i am a random stranger in his home. yunho opens his mouth to speak but i cut in before he can get whatever he was going to say out.

“i don’t plan on being here much longer, i assure you. i appreciate all of seonghwa’s kindness but i have things to attend to back at my own home. he was just offering me shelter for the night since it’s dark and i lost my way. in the morning, i’ll be going back to my cottage.” i answer san’s inquiries with a polite smile. both men turn to me as i speak and san’s eyebrow quirks up again.

“uh, weren’t you searching for something? san may be able to help you find it!” yunho says, head turning back to the other man who gives him an incredulous look.

san sighs as he looks back to me, crossing his arms over his broad chest. “what is it you were looking for?” he asks in a bored tone that offends me ever so slightly. what is his issue?

“you don’t have to help me, i’m perfectly capable of finding it on my own.” i answer with indignation, matching his stance. san’s bored expression breaks as he tries to fight off a smirk.

“if that were the case, would you have gotten yourself lost?” he asks with an irritating self-satified smirk on his lips. my arms drop from my chest as my brows furrow but san pays me no more mind, turning back to his bedroom door. “if you’d like my help, yunho or seonghwa can bring you to me tomorrow morning.” and with that he walks into his room and shuts the door behind himself. yunho and i are left in the silent hallway as irritation stirs in my gut.

“do you… still want to see the rest?” yunho asks softly as he looks at me.

i turn to him and smile. “yes, you were saying something about seeing more of the art?”

♰ note :: cliffhanger tehe >:) and we met quite a few members... pls pls leave feedback i want to hear you thoughts!! if you enjoyed consider rbing.

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atinylittlepain · 2 years

Text

Unexpected Expectings - A Joel Miller Story

Joel Miller x pregnant!f!reader/pregnant!f!oc

Joel Miller Masterlist

It's a horrible idea, even living somewhere as safe as Jackson. But it's all she wants. Will Joel be able to accept her decision? Or will she have to do this alone?

warnings | 18+ heavy angst, descriptions of pregnancy symptoms, SMUT, decisions around pregnancy, Joel is an asshole :/

.....................

She knows it’s foolish. Stupid really, and maybe even a death wish. It isn’t certain, but it might as well be. Her period has been missing for three months now, and since she’s been living in Jackson, there’s no other reason for its absence other than one glaring option. That coupled with the rolling nausea that has been rocking her these past few weeks makes her as close to certain as she can be. She’s living in a post-apocalyptic world, and she’s pregnant.

She and Joel had been so careful, or at least she thought so. She had even figured out how to track her periods, maneuvering around them to create the least possible chance of something like this happening. Yet, it was becoming painfully clear that they hadn’t been careful enough. The first month, she thought it was just a fluke. The second month, she started to panic when the so-called morning sickness started showing up at all times of the day. Her first instinct had been to hide it from Joel. She knew his past, the loss of his daughter Sarah that had left him shattered, and she knew that a pregnancy would be the last thing they needed. While things were a little different in Jackson – even Maria had just had a perfect baby boy with Tommy – she and Joel had lived harder than most of these people. After their time on the road transporting Ellie, they couldn’t help the skittish streak in them, waiting for the other shoe to drop, another catastrophe, and they were always keeping an eye on the horizon, ready to leave when things went sideways. And they certainly couldn’t do that with a baby in tow.

She should have taken care of it right away, gone to Maria who’d know women in the community that could help. The mountains were rich with herbs and plant medicine, and there’d surely be a way to take care of the situation with the right knowledge. But, something was keeping her from doing it, from ending it, and she couldn’t figure out what the hell it was. Maybe it was some sort of hormonal cocktail already bonding her to this question mark of a child, but all she knew was that she kept stealing wisps of moments alone in which she’d lift up her shirt and settle her palm over her stomach.

It hadn’t been too hard to hide it at first, she and Joel were passing ships during the day, each busy with patrol shifts. When the nausea hit, she’d found ways to subtly excuse herself and find somewhere to quietly wretch until the feeling passed. It was exhausting, but the alternative option of Joel finding out and possibly having an aneurysm seemed a lot less appealing. But as time kept passing, the reality that she’d have to handle the situation or tell him the truth became more pressing. It happened one morning as they were showering together. Joel had been grazing his rough hands along her body, palms splaying along her sides as she pressed her back into his chest, head tilted to rest on his shoulder. He had hummed in her ear, fingers skimming over her stomach to graze the underside of her breasts.

“Civilization looks good on you, honey. Finally got you eating proper and you fill out so nice.” He had emphasized his words with a harsh squeeze to the swell of her breasts, but she had stilled in his hold, her eyes blowing wide in fear. She had quickly recovered, turning in his hold and distracting him with a sloppy blowjob, but once they got out of the shower and started getting dressed, she had hung back, waiting until he was already heading downstairs to finally look in the mirror. It was subtle, but her stomach was obviously swollen, the hint of an arc, and her breasts were also feeling different, heavier in her hands.

That was a month ago now, and each day since she had told herself it will be the day she confronts Joel with the truth, and each day, she keeps on hiding it from him. But it was certainly getting harder. She hadn’t really let him touch her since that morning, opting for chaste pecks and quick slips out of his grabby hands and she could tell Joel was getting more and more frustrated at the distance. He did however let her off the hook for her uncharacteristic distance when he found her hunched over the toilet and heaving out the contents of her stomach. Morning sickness had been continuing to mount, and it had become all but impossible to hide it. When he asked her what was wrong with a panicked worry washed over his face, she chalked it up to food poisoning, an answer he reluctantly accepted before getting her a glass of water and helping her lay down. But food poisoning doesn’t last for weeks.

When she wakes up the next morning, Joel already gone on an early shift, she knows that by tonight, he needs to know the truth.

The first thing she does that morning is head to Maria’s house. Her mind is a fog of thoughts as she knocks on her door, but she’s quickly shocked back into reality when Maria opens the door with her little boy on her hip. The sight of the mother with her child takes her breath away, and she unconsciously brings her own hand to ghost over her stomach before quickly jerking her arm down to her side and digging her nails into her palm. Maria offers her a smile, but confusion settles in a crease between her brows.

“Hey, Joel said you weren’t feeling too well yesterday. Are you doing alright?” She sighs, trying to find the right words but failing as she wrings her hands on Maria’s doorstep.

“Um, hey, I-I’m fine, but– can I talk to you about something?” Maria’s eyebrows raise slightly, but she nods, shifting to let her come in before closing the door behind them. They sit down on the sofa in her living room, and her eyes immediately catch on the small memorial to Sarah and Maria’s own son that rests above their fireplace. She feels her throat tighten at the sight, but quickly shifts her focus back to Maria, who’s gently cooing at her brightening boy. She can’t help but smile at the sight, but Maria glances up at her, reminding her that she isn’t here for small talk. She clears her throat, taking a sharp inhale before speaking.

“There’s no good way to say this so I’ll just get it out. I’m pregnant.” Maria’s jaw falls slightly, her eyes wide, the only sound breaking the suffocating silence are the light coos of her baby. She takes another deep breath before continuing.

“It’s Joel’s, obviously. A-and I’m pretty sure it’s been three months?” Maria finally nods.

“Ok. What do you wanna do?” It’s such a simple question, but it’s the first time she’s talked about this with anyone, and she can already feel tears pricking her eyes as she stammers out a response.

“I– I wanna say that I don’t know– but– I– I do. I wanna keep it– so bad. I-is that crazy?” Maria’s wide smile is a huge relief, and the laugh she lets out washes away any uncertainty she had.

“No. It’s not crazy. Not at all. If anyone is tough enough to do it, it’s you.” Just then, Maria’s boy lets out a shrill giggle that startles them both, making them laugh and share a warm smile. She can see a streak of worry cross over Maria’s features, though, and the woman sighs.

“I have to ask. Does Joel know yet?” Her smile quickly fades, a deep frown settling as she looks down at her hands, shaking her head.

“I’ve been battling in my head about it until just now. Wasn’t even sure he was gonna need to know anything. But I guess now he’s gonna have to find out.” Maria purses her lips, seeming to think on it for a moment.

“Well, I’ve known Joel long enough to understand that this might not be easy. But you don’t have to do it alone. I know– we’re all supposed to have dinner together on Friday– Tommy and I and you and Joel and Ellie. What if you told him then? Amongst family.” She feels tears threatening to spill again at Maria’s idea, and the woman is quick to take one of her hands and offer a reassuring squeeze.

“You are family, you understand?” She smiles, nodding jerkily as she swipes away her tears.

“Thank you, Maria. Just– thank you. That means a lot to me.” They share another smile, but she can’t help the anxious thoughts burrowing into her head.

“It’s just– I’m worried I won’t be able to hide it until then.” Maria furrows her brow and she sighs under her gaze.

“I’m having terrible morning sickness. Honestly, whoever decided to call it that is an idiot because it’s all day. I just don’t think Joel is gonna keep buying the excuse of food poisoning until Friday.” Maria nods at her words.

“There’s a tea I can show you how to make. I drank gallons of it when I was pregnant with this little devil. Why don’t I come back to your house and I can show you how to make it?” It’s less a question and more a direction as Maria’s already standing with her boy still on her hip, walking into her kitchen to gather whatever she needs to bring over with her.

…

When they get back to the house she shares with Joel and Ellie, it’s quiet, no one home yet. Keeping her baby slung to her chest, Maria sets to work, showing her the herbs she’s combining to steep in a pot on the stove.

“Honestly, I’d just keep a pot brewing with this all day. The stronger the better in this case.” She nods at her words.

“Thank you for helping me with this. It’s just been so exhausting, it feels like it’s only getting worse.” Maria smiles knowingly, lightly stirring the pot of brewing tea.

“Well, they say strong morning sickness means strong baby. I’ve also heard that having a lot of morning sickness is a sign it’s a girl.”

“Who’s having morning sickness?” The women both jump, startled by Ellie’s sudden presence in the kitchen. She quickly stammers out an answer, trying to cover their trail.

“H-hey, Ellie bean. No one has morning sickness. We were just talking about Maria’s pregnancy, that’s all.” By the squinting look the girl gives them, she can tell Ellie’s not quite buying her answer.

“Uh, ok, but Maria had a boy.” She glances at Maria, who looks just as confused as she feels.

“What’s that?”

“Maria had a boy. And she said that having lots of morning sickness means it’s a girl, so I don’t see how you could’ve been talking about her pregnancy– is something else going on?” Before she can come up with a reply to Ellie’s skeptical question, a punch of nausea washes over her and it’s all she can do to hinge over the edge of the sink before she’s emptying what little was in her stomach into the porcelain basin. When she rights herself, swiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Ellie’s eyes are wide and her mouth is hung open.

“No way–”

“Ellie–”

“Are you for real right now? You’re pregnant?” She shushes the girl’s exclamation, holding her by her shoulders and looking her square in the eyes.

“I-I am, but, Ellie, you can’t tell anyone–”

“Wait – it’s Joel’s, right? That was a dumb question, of course it is– wait, does he know yet?” She sighs, offering the girl a small shake of her head and Ellie’s face falls.

“A-are you not keeping it or–?”

“No! I am, I am. I decided I am.” She glances behind her to Maria who gives her a small smile of support. Maria steps forward and both women place a hand on Ellie’s shoulders.

“Ellie, she’s gonna wait to tell Joel until this Friday. When we’re all together as a family. But until then, you can’t say a word to anyone.” Ellie’s eyes widen again and she lets out a huffed laugh.

“Oh shit. Joel is gonna freak the fuck out. You do realize that, right?” She sighs, letting her hand drop from the girl’s shoulder.

“I do. Which is why I’m waiting to tell him, ok? Joel can’t know anything until then.”

“What can’t I know?” All three of them let out startled yelps, turning to see Joel coming in through the back door. Shit. When none of them answer his question, he huffs, putting his hands on his hips.

“Hey, what can’t I know?” Ellie’s eyes dart nervously between her and Maria, but both women are still too stunned to figure out how to respond. Unfortunately, Joel’s eyes wander to the kitchen counter, where Maria had left the book she brought over. She had offered to lend it to her, an old tattered copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting. If the title didn’t make it obvious, the picture of the very pregnant woman on the cover certainly did.

It’s as if she watches it in slow motion as he shuffles over to the counter, picking up the book and inspecting it. He holds it aloft, peering back at the trio who have all still failed to pick their jaws up off the floor.

“What’s this doing here?” His gaze shifts from Maria, to Ellie, finally to her. She can barely meet his eyes with her own, still swimming in her mind for how to answer him. Ellie’s the first to break the silence, stepping in between her and Joel.

“Listen, old man. You don’t get to be mad at her, alright? It’s bad for the baby.” Joel’s face immediately slackens, the book falling from his hand with a heavy thud as it meets the floor. She grits her teeth. Jesus christ, kid, so much for not saying anything. Maria speaks then.

“Ellie–” The girl whips around, a panicked look on her face.

“Oh fuck. I’m sorry–” They’re startled again when Joel brings a heavy hand down on the counter, the sound reverberating through the kitchen.

“Somebody better tell me what the fuck is going on, right now.” She squeezes Ellie’s shoulder.

“It’s ok, Ellie. Why don’t you go with Maria? Joel and I need to talk.” He huffs at her words but she keeps her attention on Ellie and Maria, both of them giving her a weary, questioning look. She just nods, ushering them out of the kitchen.

“Go. I think we need to have this conversation just me and him.” The pair finally acquiesce, Ellie muttering another sorry before she turns back to shout over her shoulder at Joel.

“You better be nice, old man. If you hurt my future sister you’ll have to answer to me.” She winces at the girl’s words. It definitely didn’t help the incredulous look that had wiped over Joel’s face. She finally turns back to face him fully, wringing her hands. He huffs again, shifting in his work boots as he peers at her.

“You better start explaining yourself. Is it– are you–” She lifts her chin, trying to be confident under his scrutinizing look.

“I am, Joel. I’m pregnant.” His features slacken again and he rakes both his hands through his hair, letting out a low curse.

“Is it– is it mine?” She chokes on a breath at his ridiculous question before letting out a humorless laugh.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Of course it’s fucking yours! What kind of question is that?” He sighs, scrunching his eyes shut and shaking his head.

“I’m sorry– I just– it just came out– fuck. I know that– I know it’s mine.” He scrubs a hand down his face, glancing at the pot on the stove.

“Is that what this is for? Maria told you how to take care of it?” It’s her turn to scrunch her face at him.

“What? No. Joel I– I’m going to–” He holds up his hand, cutting her off.

“No.”

“Joel.”

“No. Don’t say what I think you’re about to– don’t tell me you wanna keep it.” Something in her crumples at his words, so she does what she does best when she’s under attack. She gets pissed. She gets up in his space, her sudden heated change in demeanor seeming to catch him off guard as she jabs her finger into his chest, making him stumble back until he’s leaning against the counter.

“I’m not telling you I wanna keep it. I’m telling you I am keeping it.” He scoffs at her words, hulking over her even as she tries to stand her ground.

“Well then you’re not as smart as I thought you were. Are you really stupid enough to think this is a good idea? This–this mistake? That’s ridiculous. And don’t expect me to play house with you either because I want no part of this.” She’ll deal with the pain his words are sending shivering through her bones later, but for now, she sneers at him and gets big with anger.

“Fine. I’ll do it by myself if I have to. But you’re not gonna take this from me, Joel Miller, even if it means losing you.” She sees something flash behind the ire in his eyes and she thinks it’s the same hurt she currently feels squeezing her heart. But it’s gone in an instant, Joel huffs before shouldering past her and storming through the house and out the front door. It’s all she can do to hold herself up on the counter as the first sob racks her body.

…

She has no idea where Joel stomped off to, and she doesn’t want to be around to find out when he gets home. With a backpack stuffed with whatever she thought she might need, she stumbles out across the street, back to Maria’s house. The bright sunlight of mid-afternoon stings her tear-worn eyes and she scrubs harshly at her face as she waits for someone to answer the door. She’s caught off guard when it’s Tommy who opens up to her knocking.

“Oh– Tommy, I– um– I–” Before she can stutter anything out, the man is gathering her up in a hug that makes her let out a small “oof.” He pulls back, guiding her into the house and quietly closing the door.

“Maria told me. I’d like to say congrats, but I also think I’m gonna have to apologize for whatever dumb shit Joel pulled when you told him.” His words make her let out a breathy laugh, but then she falls apart all over again. Tommy rubs her arms as more sobs break, guiding her over to sit on their couch. She digs the heels of her palms into her eyes, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry– I-I can’t stop f-f-fucking crying today.” Tommy offers her a sad smile, sitting down next to her and squeezing her hand.

“I’d say that’s a fitting reaction. If you wanna cry, then you just cry, alright? Now what the hell did Joel say when you told him?” She sighs, a long shudder running through her as she finally glances up at Tommy.

“He said it was stupid– that I want to keep it. Called it a mistake.” Tommy huffs, a deep furrow of frustration settling across his face.

“Well, my suspicions are confirmed. Joel’s acting a fucking fool. Did he storm off?” She nods and Tommy lets out a dry chuckle.

“He’s predictable, the old shit. You already know this, but he’s a reactive asshole. I can guarantee he’s already starting to feel bad for all that garbage he said.” She nods, a wave of exhaustion passing over her that has her leaning back into the couch and tilting her head up to look at the mottled ceiling.

“I know that. But– I don’t– this is different from anything else.” Tommy looks at her questioningly and she sighs.

“I just– I think this might be it, Tommy. I think it might be too much for him.” Her eyes are fixed on Sarah’s name scrawled on the chalkboard atop their mantel. He rests a hand on her knee, giving a reassuring squeeze.

“Well, then Joel is an even bigger idiot than I thought. Look, I have a pretty good idea of where he sulked off to. Why don’t I go talk to him?” She shakes her head, eyes hazy in resignation.

“No, I think it’ll only upset him more. Whatever conclusion he gets to, he needs to come to it on his own.” Tommy sighs, but nods at her words.

“And you? What’s your conclusion?” She brings both her hands to rest over the slight swell of her belly.

“I’m prepared to do it alone if I have to. God– I don’t think I’ve wanted something this bad in a long time.” Tommy smiles at her words, giving her knee another squeeze.

“Right on, mama. And, Joel or no Joel, you aren’t gonna do this alone. Maria and I, we’re here for you. And Ellie too. Pretty sure that girl is gonna knock his lights out if I don’t beat her to it.” She can’t help the warbly laugh she lets out at that and it feels like the biggest relief after such a shit day.

“Thank you, Tommy.” The man nods.

“No need for thank you, not when it comes to family.”

…

Tommy shows her up to their spare bedroom and she conks out nearly as soon as she lays down, the day she’s had finally catching up to her. When she wakes up, the room is a wash in the orange haze of evening. She can hear quiet laughter floating down the hall through the cracked door of the room and she follows the sound to find Maria and Ellie in the nursery, sprawled on the rug as they play with Maria’s boy. Ellie is on her feet in an instant, wrapping her up in a hug and whispering a meek “I’m sorry” into her collarbone. She rubs the girl’s back, pulling away to offer her a small smile.

“It’s alright, Ellie bean. It’s gonna be alright.” Ellie nods, her eyes glancing down to her stomach and she can’t help but laugh at the girl’s suddenly very nervous demeanor. Ellie’s eyes whip back up to hers.

“Can I– um– could I–” She cuts off her stammering, grabbing one of her hands and laying her palm over her stomach. Ellie’s eyes widen.

“There’s not much to feel yet, but–”

“Woah, s’already, like, round. That’s so fucking weird, man.” She snorts at Ellie’s words.

“Gee thanks, kid. That makes me feel a lot better.” Ellie huffs, letting her hand fall away before looking back up at her.

“Is it really gonna be a girl?” She glances at Maria who’s now standing with her boy on her hip.

“Well, I guess we won’t really know until they’re here. Whoever they are. But I have to admit I’d kinda like a girl seeing as I already have some experience in the area.” She nudges Ellie’s shoulder and the girl laughs at that, eyes crinkling up. Maria sidles up to the pair, leaning and whispering in a fake conspiratory way to Ellie.

“Did you see the way she threw up? Definitely a girl.” They share another laugh, and it’s almost enough to quell the twinge of pain she’s still feeling, Joel’s name pulsing in her mind like a second heartbeat. But she’s quickly taken out of the fog as Maria ushers her and Ellie downstairs to help with dinner.

…

Dinner is lovely, save for the glaringly empty chair at one end of the table. She can tell that they’re trying to keep her mind off it, off him, asking her all kinds of questions about the baby that is now most certainly not a question mark, but a firm exclamation point of a yes. Ellie asks her if she has thought about names and while she honestly hasn’t, she’s surprised by how quickly she has an answer.

“My sister’s name was Olivia, but everyone called her Libby. I think that might be nice since everyone’s so sure it’s gonna be a girl.” It’s sad, but it’s also sweet, and a gentle silence falls over the table as they all take in her response. But they’re startled out of the moment when a quick set of knocks on the front door rings through the house. She knows it’s him, she just does, and her eyes dart anxiously to Tommy’s. Tommy clears his throat, softly muttering “excuse me” as he stands and walks out of the room towards the front door. They’re all holding their breath as he opens it, but something in her snaps when she hears Joel’s voice.

“Is she here?” She can hear the shuffle of Tommy’s boots, most likely as he stands in the doorway to block Joel’s entrance.

“Hello to you too, brother. What exactly can I help you with?”

“Tommy, please. I-I need to talk to her.”

“Are you just gonna spew more bullshit at her? Because if that’s the case then I can’t let you see her, Joel.” She can hear the frustrated huff that Joel lets out, can even picture the scrunched look he probably has on his face right now.

“Look, I went home and she wasn’t there. Is she here or not?” She glances at Ellie, a worried look pinching the girl’s features, and she does her best to offer her a reassuring smile, but it’s hard to be convincing when her own stomach is twisting in knots.

“Brother, you oughta be ashamed of yourself for what you said to her. How could you? After everything you two have been through together? It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“You couldn’t understand, Tommy. What it meant for me to lose–” Tommy cuts off Joel’s words, an anger in his voice that’s new and raw.

“Don’t you dare say I can’t understand. I lost her too, Joel. But at least I’m not a fucking coward like you. Sarah would be disgraced by the way you treated her today.” There’s a shuffling of boots, and then Joel’s harsh words.

“Watch it.” She’s heard enough, getting up and hurrying out to the front door. She finds the men nose to nose, sneers stretched across their faces. When Joel catches her out of the corner of his eye, he immediately slackens, shrinking back from Tommy. She’s amazed by how small he seems as he looks at her, his eyes heavy and glistening. She tentatively steps forward, angling herself between the two men. She does her best to seem confident, tilting her chin up at him

“What is it, Joel?” He clears his throat, opening his mouth but then seeming to think again and pursing his lips in a thin line before he finally speaks.

“Um– I– can we talk?” His eyes keep darting down to her stomach, the small swell now slightly defined under the fitted t-shirt she’s wearing. She had been hiding in his large flannels over the last few weeks, but she figured there was no longer reason to now. Tommy goes to speak, but she glances back at him, a silent confirmation that she has this under control. He nods, sending one more glare toward his brother before shaking his head and slipping back towards the dining room. She turns back to Joel.

“I’ll listen to what you have to say. But I can’t promise you anything in return.” He nods, wiping his palms down the front of his jeans. He goes to speak, but his eyes glance behind her, and she turns to catch Maria, Ellie, and Tommy leaning out from the end of the hall and peering at them. She huffs.

“Here, let’s go on the porch and you can say what you wanna say to just me.” She steps out, not missing the way he flinches as her stomach brushes past him. He sits down on the bench seat and she chooses to lean against the porch railing across from him. His brow furrows.

“You should sit. Need to stay off your feet now.” She’s stunned into laughter at his words, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Are you serious? Joel, what do you care? Last I checked, you wanted nothing to do with this.” She brings one hand down to rest over her stomach, fixing him with as hard a look as she can muster. He sighs, resting his elbows on his thighs as he leans forward and hangs his head between his shoulders. His voice is a murmur, but she can still hear what he says in the quiet of the quick-darkening evening.

“That’s not true.” She huffs.

“What’s not true?” He tilts his head up, finally meeting her gaze. She can see the tears threatening to fall in the corners of his eyes.

“That I don’t want anything to do with this. That’s not true.” She scoffs, scrunching her eyes shut in frustration before looking at him again.

“Well, I’m sorry if that’s a little hard to believe coming from you. After you told me you wanted no part in, what did you say? Playing house with me? You sure know how to keep a girl guessing, Miller, I’ll give you that.” He takes in a harsh breath, running a quick hand through his hair and shaking his head.

“I know what I said– I-I wasn’t talking sense– when I– when you– fuck– you scared the living shit out of me, you know that?” The pained grimace on his face makes her soften, leaning back into the railing, waiting for him to continue. He sighs.

“I just– we were careful, right? We were always careful. How could this happen?” She tenses up.

“You better not be saying this is my fault, Joel.” He blanches, shaking his head.

“N-no, no. It’s just– never in a million years did I think this would happen. I was shocked when you told me. And it’s no excuse for the way I spoke to you and I’m sorry, I really am. But I just don’t understand how you’re not fucking terrified right now because I am.” She lets out an incredulous laugh at his words before looking back at him.

“You think I’m not terrified right now? You think I wasn’t terrified when you walked out that door? You think I haven’t been terrified for the last three months trying to figure out why I want this baby so bad when I know it’s probably the dumbest idea I’ve ever had? I must be good at hiding it then, because I’m so fucking afraid it makes it hard to breathe sometimes.” A heavy silence falls between them. Joel clears his throat.

“Will you please sit down, honey?” She sighs, a weariness settling back into her bones, but she gives in, sitting down next to him on the bench. There’s a few inches of space between them, and Joel rests his open palm there. She takes the invitation, letting her hand tangle with his. Relief washes over her at the feeling of his thumb brushing along her knuckles. He lets out a ragged sigh.

“The thing is, I do want this. With you.” She turns to look at him and he offers her a sad smile.

“But I don’t know if I can do it. Tommy’s right. I’m a fucking coward, darlin. And I’m scared that I can’t be what you need.” She shakes her head, looking at him questioningly. He squeezes her hand.

“When I lost Sarah– it destroyed me– and I told myself that I’d be in pieces for the rest of my life. Hell, the only reason I didn’t lay down and die right then was Tommy. I needed to protect him, to keep going for him.” He pauses for a moment, taking another shivery breath before looking at her again.

“Then I met you, and that damn kid. And I tried so hard not to care, but fuck– you were it for me and I knew it from the start. And I kept going for you, and for Ellie.” He scrunches his eyes shut, shaking his head slightly.

“We have a good thing going here. But you and I know better than most that it can change in a flash. And if– it’d be the end of me– if I lost you, o-or this piece of you and me. Fuck– my mind’s been racing all day with images of you– with a baby– with our baby. And it takes my breath away how much it scares me– and how badly I want it.” He finally opens his eyes, tears dipping into the worn lines of his face. She reaches up to swipe a stray one away from the arc of his cheek and he leans into her palm.

“Well, it sounds like we’re both scared, but we both want it. So, I guess it’s good we’re on the same page finally.” He huffs out a laugh at her words, a smile ghosting at the corners of his mouth. Truthfully, she’s not sure what to say. But she has a moment to figure it out as Joel wraps his arm around her, pulling her up against him and letting her settle into his side.

“Joel, I know you feel like you have to protect us. But this isn’t one sided. We’ve made it this far because we’ve done it together. We’re a team. I told you I’d do this by myself if I have to, but fuck– I don’t think I can do it without you. But I know we can do it, scared shitless, together.” He brings his hand to cup her jaw, skating his fingers over her cheek, and he gives her a firm nod.

“We’ll do it, together.” She leans forward, pressing a hard kiss to his lips around her splitting smile and she can feel his own grin in the way he kisses her back. For a moment, all that matters is the way his hand holds her face, the way her palm presses into his chest, and the way they keep kissing like they’re trying to steal each other’s breath. And then they’re promptly jostled out of the moment by a muffled voice resounding from behind the window they’re sitting in front of.

“Ugh, gross!” They both jerk away from each other, glancing behind them to just catch a flash of Ellie’s face before she’s dipping out of sight. They look at each other for a beat, before dissolving into disbelieving laughter. Joel shakes his head, hugging her tighter to his side and laying a kiss in her hair.

“That damn kid.” She snorts, looking up at him.

“I mean, we’ve already got a little practice with a child of the apocalypse. What’s one more, huh?” He huffs, before dipping down to kiss the sly grin off her face.

…

They return home together, after a rather tense reconciliation between Joel and Tommy that ended in Tommy telling his brother that he’d be “checking in to make sure you’re not being an idiot.” Maria had brought down her pack for her, telling her that she had tucked a few things in it that might be helpful, before shooting a weary glance at Joel that communicated plenty without her having to say anything.

When they enter the house, Ellie turns on her heel, wagging her finger at Joel and making him stumble back in his tracks a bit.

“Listen here, old man. She may have forgiven you, but I got my eye on you. If you pull any more of your weird, grumpy bullshit, you’re gonna be answering to me, alright? We need to create a stress-free environment for her, and all your scowling nonsense ain’t gonna fly.” Joel grumbles, letting out an exasperated huff of her name, but she’s already putting a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder, getting her to stand down.

“Don’t worry, Ellie. I’m pretty sure I can handle the old man.”

“Hey–” Joel scoffs in protest but she shoots him a look over her shoulder that makes his mouth promptly shut. She turns back to Ellie.

“Maria said they’re playing a movie tonight in town. I bet Dina will be there helping out with the little kids. Why don’t you go–” Before she can even pose the question, Ellie’s already shrugging her jacket back on and heading out the door with a hollered “I’ll be back!”

Watching the interaction, Joel looks exhausted, like he just ran a marathon. She grins, sidling up to him and rubbing her palms up his chest.

“How the hell do you do that? Does she come with a remote that I don’t know about or something?” She laughs, shrugging at him.

“Maybe I’m just a natural, Miller.” That earns her a crooked smile from him as he cups her jaw in both his palms, dipping down for a quick peck. She squeezes his shoulders before turning to head upstairs, he close on her heels.

They move without needing to speak, falling easily back into their normal routine, letting water warm up for a shower as they peel off their clothes from the day. She suddenly feels nervous, being bare before him. She had been dodging their usual routine, bathing alone to keep him from noticing anything. It’s the first time in a month since he’s seen her like this, and things have certainly changed since then.

She tentatively steps into the bathroom, his bare back facing her. When he hears her he turns around, eyes instantly roaming across her body. He doesn’t let his eyes linger on her belly, instead focusing them back on her face, an unreadable expression across his features. She feels nerves settling cold in her throat. He looks like he wants to say something, but instead lets out a low hum before turning and getting into the shower. She follows, stepping in front of him with her back facing his chest. She jumps slightly when his hands come to her sides, ghosting up until they run along her shoulders and down her arms, his touch disappearing just as soon as it came. They take to the task of cleaning off silently. Joel is gentle as he washes the soap from her body, but she can’t help but notice how his hands maintain a noticeable distance from her stomach. The longer it goes on and the longer he won’t touch her there, she can feel herself wilting, finally shrugging off his hands and leaving him in the shower. He calls out her name as a question, but she’s already wrapping her towel around herself and stepping out of the bathroom.

She knows it won’t be as simple as telling each other that it will be alright. She knows that Joel is having as much a hard time with this as she is. But she would give anything for him to touch her, to fully acknowledge what they have created together. She sighs, shaking her head of these thoughts as she rummages through her backpack for the clean clothes she had stashed in it. What she first finds, however, is a small bottle of what looks like oil with a note wrapped around it from Maria.

Stretch marks are a bitch. This helps. -M

She smiles at the note, unscrewing the cap and carefully smelling the contents. By the scent, she guesses it must be rosehip oil. She figures people must be collecting the wild blooms further up the mountain, processing them down to oil. She’ll have to thank Maria tomorrow.

If she was being honest, she hadn’t really looked at herself, not since last month. She had been trying so hard to hide the reality of her changing body that she had concealed it from even herself. Still holding the bottle of oil, she steps in front of the time-mottled mirror that hangs on the back of their closet door. She drops her towel, letting it pool around her feet and takes in the sight of what is now clearly a bump. She smooths her palm down the expanse of her stomach, taking in the curved path in the mirror before twisting to the side to see the obvious arc. She notices the silvery lines spidering across her hips there, lines that are new. Lines that mean growth. Lips parted in awe, she twists this way and that, fully taking in the foreign sight of her body.

The sound of Joel clearing his throat startles her out of her reverie and she turns her head to see him standing in the doorway to the bedroom with a towel slung around his hips. She’s frozen where she stands, pinned under his heady gaze that finally seems to be taking all of her in. His eyes catch on the bottle she’s still holding, looking back up at her with a question across his face. She smiles lightly, holding the bottle up.

“It’s from Maria. For stretch marks, I guess. Didn’t think I’d still be worrying about those after society collapsed.” It’s a lame attempt at a joke as Joel continues to study her. She still can’t figure out what he’s thinking, something she’s not used to. He clears his throat again, meeting her gaze.

“Do you want– could I– um– can I help?” Those three gruff words settle the aching worry in her chest. She smiles, nodding at him and he pads into the bedroom, his eyes not leaving hers as he settles on the edge of the bed. She shuffles over to stand between his legs and hands him the bottle. His eyes only break from hers when he looks down to unscrew the cap and pour some of the oil into his palm, rubbing his hands together to warm them up.

She can’t help the shiver that runs through her when his hands find purchase on her hips, rubbing small circles that start to get larger as he smooths over her sides. She rests her hands on his shoulders as he works, pausing only to pour more oil out into his palms. He hesitates before letting his hands lay on the actual swell of her stomach, but when he finally does she lets out a sigh that makes him smile. He’s impossibly gentle as he rubs the oil into her belly, lips parted in concentration. She tilts her head, dipping her cheek to her shoulder as she watches him. When he meets her gaze again she can see that his pupils are blown wide.

“Does this feel good, honey?” She hums, nodding lightly, drawing another smile from him as he finishes his ministrations. He rests his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him as he drops his lips over her stomach in a sweet kiss, letting his mouth linger over her skin. The vibrations of the words he murmurs into her skin send another shudder through her bones.

“Beautiful. You’re fucking amazing.” She sighs out his name, carding her fingers through his hair to tip his head back to look up at her. She dips down to meet him in a kiss, his hands squeezing and encouraging her onto his lap as they dissolve into tangled tongues and swallowed sighs. Joel pulls away, letting his mouth trail down her neck, over the tops of her breasts and she arches into his lips. He sighs into her skin.

“Been missing you, darlin. But I guess now I know why you were slipping my hold all the time.” She grins, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he rests his chin in the valley between her breasts.

“You had me worried for a second there. Thought you were trading me in for a newer model.” She scoffs, tugging lightly at his hair to crane his face back up towards hers so she can steal another kiss from him.

“Not a chance, old man. You’re stuck with me.” He groans at the name she calls him, squeezing at her ass where his hands have now wandered and making her yelp.

“Let’s just see if you’re still calling me old man when I’m done with you.” With that, they meet in another rolling kiss, and it’s an awkward shuffle as Joel shrugs out of his towel and they inch up the length of the bed until he’s finally laying back with her straddling his hips. His cock is hard, resting against his thigh and she can just feel the tip of him grazing her backside as he brings his hand to her hip, drawing his fingers through her folds and making her whine out his name. She cants into his palm as he dips his fingers into her entrance, collecting the slick that’s already pooling there and drawing it up to her clit to press firm circles into the nerves there. Her hands find purchase on his chest as he starts to work her over with his fingers.

“Look so perfect like this, honey. Like a fucking painting.” Her eyes screw shut at his words, a whimper of his name on her lips as he starts to pump two of his fingers into her, his palm grinding into her clit with each pass. It’s certainly different, being astride Joel with the bump now all but in the way, and she feels stunted in her movements against his hand, like she can’t quite draw the pleasure from her hips that she’s looking for. Joel seems to sense her frustration, his hand stilling for a moment to instead rub circles into her hip.

“What’s wrong? What do you need, darlin?” She huffs, digging her chin into her chest as she feels a flush of embarrassment creeping up her neck.

“I-I don’t know– fuck– it just feels– weird.” She gestures vaguely to her stomach and Joel’s eyes widen, fingers flexing into the plush of her hips.

“Did I hurt you?” She’s quick to shake her head, thumbing at the frown across Joel’s face.

“No– it just– it doesn’t feel like it normally does– I don’t know– I feel awkward.” Joel lets out a long exhale, bringing one of his hands to graze along her jaw.

“It probably isn’t going to feel like it normally does, darlin. But we can figure this out, alright? Wanna make you feel good.” His words send a shiver up her spine and she nods.

It takes a bit of trial and error, but they both settle with her on her side and Joel pressed up behind her, the warmth of his chest spreading against her back. He runs his palm down her side, stopping at the plush of her thigh and encouraging her leg to hitch back over his, spreading her open a bit more for him. From there, he slides his hand between her legs, again finding a rhythm as he dips into her, crooking his fingers in a way that has her gasping as she digs her nails into his forearm. Her hips stutter back into him as he continues to fuck her with his fingers and she can feel his throbbing length pressing against the swell of her ass.

“That’s it, honey. Just relax. Let it feel good.” She whimpers his name, already feeling the pleasure settling heavy at the hilt of her spine, ready to pour over at any moment. She’s definitely more sensitive than usual, her hips jerking every time his palm presses hard against her clit. She cranes her neck back into his shoulder and he lays a kiss to her temple.

“Will you come for me, darlin? Please? Let me see you, huh?” She gives him a jerky nod, scrunching her eyes shut. With one more pass of his hand over her clit the pleasure bursts as she clenches around his fingers. She lets out a pant of his name as he fucks her through her high, squiriming in his hold as the sensation becomes nearly too much to bear. He finally relents, drawing his palm up her side before taking the heavy swell of one of her breasts in his hand and squeezing lightly. She groans at the feeling and he shushes her, laying kisses in her hair.

“So perfect, darlin. Did that feel good?” She sighs, craning her neck to meet him in a tangled up kiss.

“Yes, Joel. Wanna feel you. Let me have you, please.” He huffs into another kiss.

“You’ve got me, honey. Whatever you want, it’s all yours.” She turns back in his hold, hitching her leg back along his thigh as he draws his cock through her folds. They both sigh at the contact and her mind goes fuzzy when he notches the tip at her entrance. She’s realizing that it really has been a while, and just how much she missed this, missed him.

He slowly rolls his hips forward until he’s pressed flush with her, stilling like that as they both pant at the feeling. His voice is slow and thick in her ear, sending chills down her neck.

“Fuck– I missed this– missed you so much, darlin. Fucking made for me.” She keens under his praise, arching back into him.

“Joel, please– need you to move– p-please–” With a murmured “I got you” Joel rolls his hips again, slipping away to only spread her open all over again, a little more force in the way he grinds into the plush of her ass. It’s a jolted rhythm, both of them desperately chasing pleasure as he finds a slow but deep pace that she swivels back into. The sound is positively obscene, her arousal slicking each of his thrusts, their shared, broken gasps, the creaking of the bed frame. Joel brings his palm down to rest along the undercurve of her belly, his fingers dipping to circle her clit.

“M’sorry, honey– fuck– already close– will you give me one more? Let me feel you, c’mon, I know you can.” Each pant of her breath is his name, a chant as he tips her over the edge again. She flutters around his cock, throwing her head back into his shoulder. He’s not far behind her, thrusting once, twice, before his hips are stilling against her ass, his warmth washing through her core as he comes with a ragged cry of her name. He presses his damp forehead into the nape of her neck as they both catch their breath. She grabs his hand, tangling their fingers together.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to–” She cuts him off with a squeeze to his hand, a wry smile sliding across her face that he can only glimpse over her shoulder.

“I think it’s a little too late to worry about pulling out, Miller.” A beat of silence, and then he’s laughing gruffly into her back.

“Gonna be the death of me, woman.” She winces slightly when he pulls out and he turns her over in his hold, eyes scanning her worriedly.

“Are you hurt?” She shakes her head.

“Just a little sore. It has been a while, huh?” Joel grimaces, stealing a quick kiss.

“Never letting that happen again. I’ll tie you to the damn bed if I have to I need you so bad.” She sputters out a laugh at his words, brushing his dampened hair out of his face.

“Don’t think that will be necessary. You know I’m all yours.” He smiles, bringing his palm to the expanse of her belly, the warmth in his touch radiating all the way to the tips of her toes.

“I’m all yours, darlin. I love you.” Her eyes still widen when he says that. He’s only said it a handful of times, and it still catches her by surprise. She smiles, brushing a light kiss to his lips.

“I love you, Joel.”

…

They get cleaned up, again, but this time, Joel’s hands practically can’t stay away from her belly as they rinse each other off.

She curls into his side once they get back into bed, tracing patterns into his chest as he runs his palm up and down her arm. Joel sighs.

“So, Ellie said something about a sister? Do you think it’ll be a girl?” She cranes her neck to look at him, a grin crooking on her face.

“I don’t know. What do you think?” Joel studies her face for a moment before letting out a huff.

“I think we need another Miller boy in this house. You two already gang up on me. We gotta even the playing field.” She can’t help the laugh that bubbles out at that and he quirks a brow at her.

“What? You don’t think it could be a boy?” She quickly shakes her head, stifling her giggles.

“No, no, it’s not that. I just– do you really want a boy that bad?” He purses his lips.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind a little more testosterone around here. But, I just want him or her healthy. Want you healthy.” She smiles, pressing a kiss to his chest before lifting up to kiss his lips.

“We will be, Joel. As long as we do it together, it’s gonna be alright.” She settles back down onto his chest, but can’t help the giggle that jolts through her thinking about what he said. He jostles her in his hold.

“What?” She sighs.

“Nothing, I’m just happy is all. Go to sleep.” He huffs, but seems to accept her answer, settling into a silence that eventually dissolves into his soft snores. She can’t stop thinking about how funny it is, how badly he wants a boy.

She just knows it’s a girl, and she knows that this sweet little thing is gonna have grumpy Joel Miller wrapped around her pinky finger from the moment he lays eyes on her. Besides, three against one sounds like pretty good odds to her.

#joel miller smut #joel miller angst #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller fluff #tlou fanfiction #tlou #the last of us #unexpected expectings

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wileys-russo · 8 months

Text

put em up II k.mccabe x reader

lil soft katie based on this request here put em up II k.mccabe x reader

katie was expecting a call to come and pick you up, so her phone sat idly by her side as she sat on the sofa engrossed in a boxing match on tv.

in between yelling at the screen or groaning unhappily at the result, every now and then her eyes would flicker down and she'd tap the screen, just to make sure she hadn't missed a text or a call or accidentally swapped her phone to silent.

it wasn't often that the two of you went out without the other given your group of friends had become incredibly mingled over the years you'd been seeing one another.

but it was a reunion night out with some of your best friends from high school that katie was happy to spend the night in alone, partners not invited for this one which the girl understood given the group rarely all managed to get together.

that didn't mean your overtly protective girlfriend wasn't worried though, as she always was anytime the two of you weren't together. but she trusted you, and so she tried to remind herself of that as she busied herself to try and keep her mind off it.

she'd been in the bathroom brushing her teeth ready to curl up in bed when the call came a little before two in the morning, toothbrush clattering into the sink as she darted back into the bedroom to swipe accept.

"katie baby!" the irish woman grinned at the clear slur in your voice. "hi darlin." the girl chuckled as you sighed happily. "missed you! can you come and pick me up please?" you slurred with a smile on the other end of the line.

"of course, where are ya?" katie questioned as you stayed silent, the girl wincing as you suddenly screamed at one of your friends the same question. "scouts landing!" you answered happily, hiccuping a little as you did.

"okay, i'll be there soon and i'll call ya once i'm out the front so please keep your phone near you babe. do me a favour?" katie smiled in amusement as you hummed, clearly returning inside as the music in the background became louder and someone yelled shots.

"drink some water please, and no more shots!"

"oh for fucks sake." katie groaned as she tried your phone again but it rang out, hovering outside the bar half freezing to death. in a pair of black matching sweats and hoodie she was hardly dressed for a bar, but it seemed entering was her only option as you'd disregarded her warning to keep your phone close.

so with a defeated sigh she made her way over to the entrance, stopped by the security guard who gave her a questioning life. "look i'll be in and out. my girlfriends in there and she asked me to pick her up!" katie explained as the guy only chuckled and nodded for her to move on.

"come on! ya can even walk me in and out, its half two in the mornin ya think i'm after a pint?" katie scoffed as the man again just nodded for her to move on. "ah fuck this." the girl mumbled, the last thing she needed to be was arrested or in any sort of trouble.

she stood outside and tried you one more time, swearing as the phone again rang out. but right as she was starting to build a plan to sneak in she heard her name yelled out and looked up, one of your friends hanging off the balcony.

"what the hell are you doin down there?" your friend, whose name katie knew but just couldn't seem to place, called out with a laugh. "she called me to come pick her up but she's not answering her phone and they won't let me in!" katie yelled up as your friend nodded.

"two seconds. i'll bring her out!" katie breathed a heavy sigh of relief at that, stepping back and sending a filthy look toward the security guard who was clearly still watching her, his hand hovering near his radio.

but she didn't have to wait long, hearing a drunken giggle and a grunt as two of your friends helped you out, katie unable to be mad at you for not answering as you started to sing at the top of your lungs.

"oh god not this, every time she's had jager she thinks she's mariah carey!" your friend groaned slapping a hand on your mouth and smiling apologetically to security who shook his head.

"judgmental prick." katie mumbled under breath shooting daggers at him as you finally reached the bottom of the stairs. "can she even walk?" katie sighed with a small smile at the state of you, rare was it she'd ever seen you so drunk but she knew you'd been missing these friends so you deserved the night to unwind.

"she can run!" your friend from earlier rolled her eyes as you spotted your girlfriend and visibly lit up. "baby!" you cheered, breaking free of their grip and launching yourself at katie who caught you with a grunt.

"hi gorgeous, what happened to answering your phone hm?" katie chuckled, thanking your friends who patted your back and made their way back inside. "oh its..." you frowned, patting at imaginary pockets on your dress.

"oh no i lost it!" you gasped wide eyed. "no you didn't idiot its in your bag." katie chuckled, the bag in question slung over her shoulder as she took your hand and started to walk you to her car. "what would i do without you." you sighed pressing a sloppy kiss to her cheek.

"get hit by a car!" katie warned tugging you sharply back away from the curb as a car zoomed past, pulling you to cross the road with her once it was safe. "come on, in we get." katie grunted as she helped you into her own car.

"babe can we get a mcdonalds?" you slurred, head thumping back as katie buckled herself in and started the car. "i dunno if food is the best idea love." katie chuckled, not in the mood to clean your throw up out of her car.

"food is always a good idea! who are you and where is my girlfriend who steals my food all the time." you scoffed, head swiveling around as you glared at her through hooded eyes. "alright alright, calm down." katie chuckled, one hand on the wheel and the other settling on your leg.

"did you drink some water?" your girlfriend asked glancing to you at a red light as a small smile curled onto your lips. "yep, sure did." you slurred giving her a thumbs up. "oh really?" katie laughed, shaking her head knowingly.

"i did! all my drinks had ice in them, and ice is made of water. boom!" you slapped your hand against her dash. "hey! be nice to the car." katie scolded, one arm shooting out to press against your chest to stop you flying forward as she suddenly braked.

"nice indicator ya fucken arsehole!" katie swore at the car in front who'd cut in. "road raaaage." you sung out with a dopey smile, poking at her cheek as she swatted away your hand. "you're so funny." you chuckled, hand dropping back into your lap.

"i know, i'm a funny girl." katie grinned, turning into the mcdonalds near your house. "my funny girl! my funny irish girl." you slurred, gently smacking her cheek with your hand and blowing her a kiss.

"what do you want ya pest?" katie chuckled pulling into the drive through, grabbing your hand which continued to poke at her. "everything!" you cheered with a grin, eyes closing a little.

"yeah hi can i please get a cheeseburger happy meal with a water, six nuggets and a coke?" katie ordered, pushing away your head as you tried to lean over and add to the order. "thank you!" katie chirped, driving to the next window as you huffed and slumped into your seat.

"stop mopin or i'll eat all your food!" your girlfriend warned teasingly as you flipped her off, katie paying and driving through, taking the bags and balancing them on her lap. "wait!" katie laughed pushing your eager hand away, pulling into a parking spot.

"cmon im hungry!" you whined as your girlfriend handed you the happy meal. "you got me a kids meal?" you groaned, but that all disapeared as you snatched out the toy from inside making katie roll her eyes with an amused smile.

"we can give it to coopur!" you cheered happily, unwrapping your cheeseburger and shoving almost the whole thing into your mouth. "darlin you're gonna choke!" katie smacked your leg lightly as you spoke something through your mouthful.

"urgh i don't speak that language." katie pulled a face of disgust as you slowly swallowed and shovelled a handful of fries into your mouth, sending your girlfriend a dopey grin.

"god help me i'm datin a gremlin."

"no no no, up to bed." katie laughed, grabbing your arm as you tried to wiggle past her into the living room. "m'not tired, don't be a buzzkill!" you poked her cheeks and stuck your tongue out, yanking your hand free and wandering off.

"a buzzkill! you wound me babe." katie tutted, following you into the kitchen. "nope! you wish." your girlfriend moved to kick shut the cupboard you opened knowing full well thats where the two of you stored your alcohol.

"water only for you now pretty baby." katie smiled, moving her body to block you from opening it again. "i am an adult you can't cut me off! you're not even a bartender." you slurred, swaying side to side unable to properly stand.

"ya feelin a bit seasick darlin? swaying an awful lot there." katie grinned causing you to scoff and wave her off. "move!" you ordered, hands on hips glaring the taller girl down. "no." katie shrugged simply.

"alright. i'll fight ya then!" you challenged, closing one eye and holding your fists up. "cmon mccabe, put em up!" you started to bounce on the balls of your feet, stumbling slightly but staying upright as you punched the air.

"oh thats adorable, you're adorable." katie gave you a toothy grin of amusement as you scoffed. "don't you patr-patron-" you struggled to get out the word making katies grin grow.

but she was caught off guard as suddenly you launched at her with a war cry, ducking as you swung and grabbing your arms, wrapping them around your own body like a straight jacket.

"oh no babe you're too strong for me!" katie cooed sarcastically as you struggled to break free of her grip, getting one hand free and punching at her stomach.

"rock hard baby!" katie smirked smacking her stomach with her own hand before easily tossing you over her shoulder and marching the two of you to your shared bedroom, flicking off lights as she went.

"thats a lovely massage thank you hun." katie smirked as you smacked and punched her back demanding she put you down. "it is three in the mornin gorgeous and you're smashed, we're goin to bed!" katie laughed at your protests.

"take my makeup off." you demanded as your girlfriend gently dropped you onto the mattress. "take your makeup off..." katie hovered over you with an expectant smile.

"now?" "so polite my love, how could i say no."

with that she helped you back up, the two of you wandering into the bathroom as katie lifted you to sit on the sink. "sit still squirmy." the brunette teased, squeezing your thighs and kissing your cheek as she moved to grab the micellar wipes.

"you missed!" you huffed, puckering your lips expectantly. "you smell like a bar, maybe once you brush those teeth!" katie smiled, your eyes closing as she gently started to wipe away your makeup. "i kiss you in the morning before you brush your teeth!" you rebutted her previous point.

"and whats that supposed to mean then!" katie tutted, pinching your leg and kissing your cheek again as she'd taken off as much makeup as she could.

"your breath smells in the mornin babe i thought that was pretty obvious!" you slurred with a dopey grin, tilting your head and swaying a little as katie quickly pushed you to sit back against the wall.

"such a charmer you are, aren't i lucky." the brunette smiled. "now open that bar cart you're callin a mouth!" katie teased, brushing your teeth for you and smacking your leg every time you tried to talk which would just result in you spitting toothpaste at her.

"done! now kiss." you spat and rinsed your mouth out, tapping your lips impatiently as katie grinned and sweetly kissed you, your arms moving to wrap around her neck as she slotted between your legs.

"no baby, you're too drunk." katie chuckled as you reached to try and tug her top off. "i'm not drunk, you're drunk!" you booped her nose with a grin. "sure, how many fingers am i holdin up?" katie purposefully wiggled her hand around as you squinted.

"you're cheating!" you gasped in realisation, grabbing her hand and biting her fingers. "oi! cool it would ya jaws." katie laughed tugging on your ears.

"is it the jager or are your eyes always this pretty?" you slurred, wiggling your eyebrows with a charming smile. "you know if you're trying to charm your way into my shorts baby girl, its not workin." katie whispered against your lips.

"not even a little? cause baby you're so pretty, prettiest girl i ever did see!" you sung out happily, kicking your feet back and forth.

with a shake of her head and a smile your girlfriend leant in and pressed her lips to yours, hooking her hands under your thighs and lifting you back off the counter.

"mcdonalds eaten, makeups off, teeth brushed, kisses given. bed time!" katie pecked your lips a few more times as she carried you back to the bedroom, lowering you into bed and tugging the blanket over you.

"fine." you huffed, wrapping your body around hers as katie flicked off the light and slotted into bed beside you. "if you snore i'm gonna smother you in ya sleep baby girl, just so you're aware." katie smooshed your face in her hand, kissing your forehead with a loud mwah.

"if you smother me i'm gonna come back as a ghost and haunt you forever and ever and ever." you mumbled tiredly into her chest, words barely understandable.

"yeah? well forever with you doesn't sound so bad." katie smiled, her own eyes fluttering closed.

#woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccabe #woso community #woso blurbs

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genshin-impact-unofficial · 10 months

Text

Danced With You Once Upon A Dream 🌠

Headcannons of Genshin boys seeing you in a ball gown and asking you to dance.

Ft: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Thoma, Ayato, and Alhaitham

Tags: Fem!Reader, crushes everywhere, jealousy, fluff, PG, GOOD VIBES ONLY, i chose a lot of smug men please spare me, no beta we die like men Notes: I JUST REALLY WANTED TO MATCH PRETTY BOYS TO PRETTY DRESSES! SUE ME! (Another repost!)

Diluc

Diluc is a known hermit. After his father's death, it was a rare sight to see him at any large social event. He preferred to keep it that way, but tonight's banquet is an exception. The masked vigilante accepted the invitation for an opportunity to eavesdrop on a fatui officer in attendance. Unfortunately, his person of interest appeared to be a complete no-show. The whole night was already a total bust.

Perhaps if he left right then, he could still do a patrol around Mondstadt before dawn. It was the enjoyable option compared to being approached again by another person seeking his attention. Idle chit-chat was never something he enjoyed much anyway and he was in no mood to talk business.

Diluc contemplated his exit strategy that would avoid being stopped by anyone. An eruption of chatter drew everyone's attention to the main doors. There was a late arrival being announced. It was nice timing, he would just need to slip out during the commotion. How odd for one guest to kick up this much of a fuss... Diluc's curious gaze followed up to the large entry doors and inevitably fixated onto the beautiful figure, onto you.

His plans to leave vanished with each step you descended down the grand staircase. Your flowing dress moved in such an entrancing way that he could swear you plucked it straight out of fairy tale. Diluc has been so busy with the winery and his investigations... he couldn’t remember the last time he had talked to you. Perhaps he should stay a little longer, if only just to catch up at least.

The red haired man was utterly enchanted by your movements. It explained why he was drawn in like a magnet, moving as if under your spell. He strode smoothly through the crowd to meet you at the foot of the stairs. His hand extended to guide you down the last couple steps, down to earth, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When you finally glance up from your hands to meet Diluc's gaze, adoration is already clear across his features.

"Y/N" He greeted you, bowing to place a small peck on the back of your hand. "Its lovely to see you tonight." Diluc spoke slow and earnestly, as if channeling every ounce of his princely charm into that sentiment. You felt like butter melting into his warmth, becoming pliant in his hands. “May I?” Diluc gestured forward, asking if he could accompany you in.

The presence of the elusive owner of Dawn Winery did little to quell the whispers and eyes on you. Now awoken from your dreamy haze, you became aware of just how much attention you've managed to garner. You looked yourself over. Had there been a stain that you missed? Were you not on theme? How embarrassing... Your panic was interrupted by Diluc's fond chuckle. It almost annoyed you how amused he seemed by your antics.

“There’s no need to worry. They’re staring because they can't bare to look away. You are simply captivating.” Diluc stated as if it were an obvious fact. “If you are still feeling nervous, how about a dance to get your mind off it?”

Kaeya

Kaeya spent most of the ball like a fly on the wall, listening in on conversations here and there. To his dismay, there was nothing interesting happening tonight. The juciest thing he managed so far were the two Fatui delegates discussing their distaste of the liquor served. “Honestly! Can’t they provide anything stronger? It’s practically disrespect to serve-” A pause. “Hmm... well at least there’s plenty of eye candy to eat up.” The man changed topics in favor of discussing the newest arrival to his comrade.

From his vantage point, Kaeya discreetly surveyed the crowd. His sweep abruptly stopped when he spotted you in such an elegant gown. “My, my don’t you clean up well.” The captain chuckled quietly to himself. He smirked slyly down at you and thought of a couple ways to make you be the one to approach him.

His plans changed rapidly when he noticed how swarmed you were. You hadn’t even taken five steps before multiple men stopped you, a half circle was already beginning to form. Confusion and an awkward politeness were loud and clear on your features yet no one took the hint.

The look of the situation bubbled up something in the pit of Kaeya's stomach. He would sooner cut off his silver tongue before ever calling it jealousy. It was accompanied by a feeling of annoyance. Do those men not have eyes? Couldn’t they see they were making you uncomfortable? They don’t even have the decency to let you greet your friends first before bombarding you.

He simply could not let this stand. As a knight, he is upheld to a code of chivalry after all. It was easy to weave his way through the other guests to get to you. “My dear Y/N, you made it!” Kaeya addressed you, loud enough to make a couple of the men turn to look. Without hesitation, he took the opening to wedge himself between the half turned bodies.

He made the maneuver look easy, like he had done this exact thing a million times over. The Calvary Caption smoothly took your hand in his and gazed into your eyes like there wasn’t a dozen people staring. He flash of a small smirk, with a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glint in his eye before, he continuing his theatrics.

“You look simply heavenly.” Kaeya said in a sickeningly sweet tone, playing it up slightly for listening ears. “Now that you’ve arrived, you can do me the honors of bestowing me your first dance of the night. You did promise it to me after all.”

You caught on quickly, nodding in agreement. That's all it took for Kaeya to lead you out of the corner you were trapped in and into the rest of the festivities. Once you both were out of earshot, you quietly thanked him.

“There’s no need, Y/N. Those men were being simply unmannerly.” He laughed, a smug look creeping back onto his face. “Although, it would also be quite rude to make a liar out of me. So how about that dance?”

Zhongli

Zhongli was familiar to with the formal banquets held on the Pearl Gallery. He did not always attend, but when he felt the desire to people watch the consultant accepted the invitation. The harbor is a beautiful heart of Liyue and the its people are the blood that pumps through her veins. To the being who laid its foundation, Rex Lapis viewed it like art to see the continued flow of life unfold before him.

He participated as the role an average guest. Someone may strike up a conversation now and again, in response he would chat idly about nothing at all. The visitor would then move on to their next conversation and Zhongli was perfectly content sipping his drink and taking in the evolving atmosphere.

The next shift in energy accompanied your arrival and his ember eyes watched the scene change before him once again. The former archon was fascinated by the buzz that rippled outward from where you stood. When you approached, people excitedly began chatting, smiling, and laughing. Knowing you well, he could tell you were radiating delight effortlessly, even while just greeting other guests. He no longer observed the gathering as a whole, his gaze instead followed the intricate detailing leading up your bodice. It was entrancing to watch each graceful step while you made your way around the ship’s deck.

Zhongli contemplated the notion of approaching you. Doing so would actively shift the trajectory of the evening. Taking your time for himself disrupts the organic flow of art he admired just moments prior. Would that be fair to you? You, who was someone he respected and admired. You, who looked so divine that it demanded all of his attention in that very moment. You, who Morax would willingly give all of it to.

The answer to his dilemma came simply while watching your eyes meet. Zhongli no longer felt content with his self assigned role of bystander. He had a deep desire to partake. Thus, the stubborn rock uprooted himself.

“Hello again Y/N, you look blindingly radiant tonight.” Zhongli approached you with a graceful bow The lightest kiss is placed upon the back of your hand like a whisper. Your glowing smile and warm greeting prompts yet another decision. “It would be heavenly if you allowed me your company tonight. Would you care for a dance?”

The old archon had already inserted himself into this occasion's flow, it would be foolish not enjoy it in full.

Childe

Jealousy. Jealousy. Jealousy. You were his guest after all.

Tartaglia invited you, along with a few others, to a ball thrown by the Snezhnayan embassy. You weren't EXACTLY asked to be his date. Heck, the redhead even emphasized that you were invited as a good friend. But nonetheless, an honored guest of a Fatui Harbinger should be assumed off-limits. It shouldn't matter how stunning you look. Those men lingering around you will just need to be reminded. Politely of course....

Childe insisted on your attendance, even going as far as offering to buy you any dress you wanted for the occasion. You were still unsure, since you were aware of how bad the Fatui's reputation had tanked in Liyue recently. During back and forth with him, you jokingly pointed at an outrageously expensive dress in a shop display. There is no way, even someone with money, would drop that much on such a frivolous dress. It was double your rent for archon’s sake.

Inevitably, when the dress was delivered on your step, you had to sit down to keep from falling over. You begged him to return it. There’s no way you could accept such an outragous gift. HE WAS BEING UNREASONABLE PLEASE! Like always, Tartaglia only laughed at you and teased how great you'll look in it.

The redhead didn’t expect just how great that was.

Some last minute Fatui conflicts allowed you to arrive before him. The party was in full swing and lively as ever. Guests were having enthusiastic discussions sometimes in a tongue you didn’t quite understand. It wasn’t long before you were pulled into a conversation, and then another.

You already had five drinks lined up waiting for you by the time Childe arrived to the event. The fiery exchanges died down and a few peeled off rub elbows with the harbinger. Unfortunately, you were not able to go greet your friend. Three men blocked your path, insisting you finish your drink so you could dance with them. Any declination was laughed at and brushed over.

“Ah, you must be hard of hearing. My lovely guest here doesn’t wish to dance with you.” The polite words held a chilling edge to them. The men turned to face the instigator with puffed chests and annoyed glares. The Eleventh Fatui Harbringer stood behind them, a malicious smile staring directly back at them. Blood drained from the frozen men's faces and one by one they excused themselves with their tails tucked between their legs.

“Now this isn’t fair.” Tartaglia sighed, his features relaxing now that is attention was on you. “You weren’t supposed to look this amazing in that dress Y/N.” He teased while also taking your hand and guiding you into a spin. “I may have to buy you a few more, so that I can see you like this more often.” You relaxed when you heard his playful tone return. You tell him to quit it while lightly slapping his shoulder. “Hm? I’ll stop if you agree to dance with me. How about it beautiful?”

Thoma

Thoma knew his way around a party. With so many connections to maintain, he fluttered from guest to guest like the social butterfly he was. When the Kamisatos throw a banquet, he’s usually busy with everything that goes on behind of the scenes. As a show of appreciation, Thoma was told to simply enjoy himself tonight. He was sure to take advantage of such an opportunity. The blond even invited you. Since he had no obligations, he could be the one showing you a good time for once.

It was comical how obvious his double-take was when you arrive. The boy's green eyes sparkled and his mouth hung slightly ajar in awe. He catches himself, remembering his manners. Surely, it couldn't be proper to gawk at your friend so openly.

Some habits die hard. The Kamisato Clan’s resident housekeeper is the first to greet you and guide you in. “Y/N you look....! Hah, I don't even know how to describe how beautiful you look. I'm utterly speechless." Thoma's charming smile was blinding when he looked at you. For someone rendered speechless, he didn't stop there. "That dress is perfect on you and the color just make your eyes... wow.”

You are showered in compliments. How he is doing it with a straight face? Thoma tone was so earnest and genuinely delighted to behold you, but each word made your face burn in embarrassment. You had to insist that he to stop to prevent your incoming heart attack.

“Ah, sorry Y/N. I must have gotten carried away.” He chuckled, only then finally showing an inkling of bashfulness. “Here, allow me to show you around, I have some people I’d love you to meet.”

Thoma offered his arm and guided you around the festivities, while also subtly showing you off to everyone and anyone. Like two peas in a pod, you laughed and talked while you mingled around. Anyone who didn’t know better would think you were a fresh couple struck with puppy love. But in Thoma's oblivious mind, he saw himself as only your attendant for the evening. He was simply there to ensure you’re a great time. He was happy with this.

The blond noticed your eyes drift over to the dance floor. It's then that he toed a line of where a servant should stay. It would be selfish for him to take you from the party and be the one to dance the night away with you. Sure, he wanted to..... he really wanted to. Would that be ok? Well... what was life without risks? If this was not proper, he'd happily accept whatever consequences.

“Y/N, would you like to dance with me? It would hands down make me the luckiest guy here.”

Ayato

Ayato was bored of the banquet too soon after it begun. As Yashiro Commissioner, he hardly had a moment of peace. There was a multitude of important people in attendance and out of courtesy he exchanged pleasantries and discussed light politics. His lines were well rehearsed, polite and non-confrontational on any one matter.

He didn’t know you were on the guest list until your arrival. It didn't go unnoticed how you dress style and color pallet correlated perfectly with the Kamisato Clan's traditional attire. He deduced that Ayaka must of had a hand in both of those happenstances.

As if confirming Ayato's suspicions, Ayaka was the first to greet you. He watched the two of you excitedly talk amongst yourselves. She gestured toward your dress with a not-so-subtle two thumbs up from her. There was a growing chatter amongst the the guests. In less than five minutes you managed to become the center of talk. Not just anyone was warranted to wear Kamisato colors to their events, and so extravagantly at that too. Even with Ayaka’s clear public approval, people will imagine drama where there is none.

Ayato had to admit, he couldn't tare his eyes from you. The clan head he was speaking to, continued going on and on about business dealings. Meanwhile in the commissioner's head, he began to map out how to speed run through the rest of the interactions he was obligated to have tonight. If he played his cards just right, he may have a moment to chat with you. If time allowed, he may even be able to squeeze in a single dance.

Ayaka inevitably was pulled away to attend to her other duties, but she encouraged you to feel free to mingle and have fun. Once she left, the eyes on you and the quiet murmurs became much more apparent.

Ayato noticed your previous excitement shift into anxiety. Left like this, you would be eaten alive by these ruthless socialites. You might even leave before he had a chance to make his way to you. This definitely won’t do. Ayato politely excused himself from the mind numbing pleasantries and briskly made his way across the banquet hall. Others who approached him received a similar kind but firm dismissal.

“These kinds of people always find something to gossip about, trust me.” You jumped, not expecting the sudden company. Least of all, you weren't expecting the head of the Kamisatio Clan to be the one to approach you. You look around at all the prying eyes and quickly compose yourself. You deeply bow to the man in front of you and state your name and status as a formal greeting. It felt strange since you were both so well acquainted as good friends. It was better to be safe than sorry in your opinion. You waited to be greeted back in a similar manner so that you could be released from your bow.... but there was only silence.

“Hah! There’s no need for that Y/N. You shouldn't feel the need to speak so formally to me for their sake.” Ayato's hand was slightly covering his mouth to stifle a few stray chuckles. You stood up properly and frowned at your friend in more embarrassment. Ayato sighed, amused, and leaned down to meet your eye level. “Really, there's no need for that. Besides, with how exquisite you look tonight, I should be the one honored.” The commissioner took a knee and placed a princely kiss upon your knuckles. Voices began to erupt around you two.

“Hm... Since everyone is going to be gossiping anyway, how about we give them something to talk about?” Ayato asked smoothly, his hand already leading you toward dance floor by the small of your back.

Alhaitham

Alhaitham was only there because he was FORMALLY WARNED that he would be reprimanded if he missed another mandatory Akademiya event.

The scribe was the definition of a party pooper. He sat in the corner with the best lighting and cracked open the book he had brought along. (This is the equivalent to being forced to go to an office Christmas party for this guy.) Any attempts to talk to him were either ignored or efficiently rudely turned away.

The book became front once he finished it twice over. Alhaitham knew he should have brought a spare. To pass the time, he turned off his noise cancelling headphones and waited. People tended to say more when they thought you weren't listening. To his dismay... some conversations were just not worth listening to. The scribe became so bored he actually began his third re-read at some point.

“Is it even allowed to wear something so....... adverse to an Akedemiya function? That has to be some sort of dress code violation.” Two scholars whispered to one another just within earshot. Ah, finally something interesting.

Alhaitham spared a discreet glance from behind his book to the controversy of the hour. It was you... how unexpected. And how you were dressed, also unexpected. A quick glace had become more akin to appreciation. You stood defiantly confident in your body conforming emerald gown, meanwhile scholars were bending over backwards to avoid getting close at all costs. As if being associated with you would also get them a violation too.

The scribe shut his book since he had become interested enough in the situation to give his full attention. He had an idea what this was all about but this was definitely not the outcome he would have bet on.

You had mentioned your annoyance with the Akedemiya’s dress code to him. You even submitted a few applications for an appeal. A couple even got approved through him before ultimately being rejected by the grand sage. It made no sense! Why were you being dress code on the exact shade of green you wore? Or that your attire had to be floor length? For archon’s sake you were even told your comfortable shoes were too dirty to be acceptable. And you definitely showed them. Alhaitham didn't bother hiding the way he eyed you over. And recalling the rules and regulation.... there’s technically nothing wrong with your outfit. Although, you were guaranteed to get an earful tomorrow by the sages. He decided with that alone that congratulations were in order.

“I must say, this a wonderfully scandalous way to prove your point.” Alhaitham mused while approaching you. You rolled your eyes at his comment and both relief and stress washed over your person. While thankful for some sort of company tonight, your antisocial colleague was the last person you expected to run into here. You greeted him stiffly while preparing yourself for the endless teasing sure to follow. Alhaitham had just enough respect for your efforts to hold his tongue for now. He instead held out his hand in an invitation, the hint of a smirk emerging across his features.

“You know, dancing is technically only 'frowned upon' at these kind of events. Care to piss off a few more old men?”

You guys were about to be in so much trouble...

437 notes · View notes

kitasgloves · 27 days

Note

I saw in your request rules page that you write male reader! Could you write a Dazai x male reader smut, with some brat taming (of Dazai), maybe with the reader topping too if that’s not too much to ask?

I almost never see male reader as an option on blogs like this so I’m lowkey really excited, as a male reader myself who never has anything to read 😅

Brat Season

— ♬ bottom! Dazai Osamu x top! Reader, NSFW, male reader, sexually explicit content, brat-taming, oral receiving, facefucking, hair pulling, face slapping, unprotected sex, spanking, creampie, absolute filth, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 3.5k words, no beta

— ♬ omg I agree with you fr, it's so rare to find some male reader content here but I'm happy to deliver and I had fun writing this, hope you enjoyyyy <3

It's a known fact that Dazai Osamu can get pretty annoying. Kunikida Doppo can corroborate how much he has to deal with that lazy bandage-wasting machine. Unfortunately, it's a prominent trait one must witness if you are somewhat associated with the brunette. Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai's former partner, has recalled countless moments where he swears a vein was about to burst to experience how annoying Dazai was. Others might dismiss Dazai's annoying antics or even laugh at them. But it takes a resilient individual to tolerate Dazai Osamu.

It wasn't clear how you and Dazai met but you have impressed everyone in Dazai's circle with how infinitely patient you seemed. During your dating stage, Dazai had tried multiple times to persuade you to do double suicide with him, he still does to this day, but you always shook your head and smiled at him. What fascinated the brunette about you was you weren't hot-headed. Admittedly, Dazai was drawn to men whom he can easily piss off and be entertained with, however, you didn't possess that quality.

You were patient, gentle, and kindhearted. It made Dazai suspicious of how genuine you were with him. The dates were filled with jokes and laughter, he liked the way you smiled and laughed at whatever he said. But once the growing affection becomes inevitable, Dazai becomes wary. He had trouble with vulnerability that's why he comes across as fraudulate sometimes. It's like he's often wearing a façade. He couldn't fathom how, but you saw through him.

And it terrifies Dazai. He knows he's imperfect and can get ugly. He's aware of his flaws and God knows how he's full of it. What if you're disgusted? What if you turn away? What if...what if you leave him? But when you grabbed his hand one night and kissed his hand down his bandaged arm, he crumbles. When you slowly undressed him and kissed all the parts of him that he found distasteful, his heart began to beat differently. You unraveled Dazai and tenderly accepted him.

The brunette behaved differently depending on who was there. With co-workers, he's lazy and comedic. With enemies, he's calm and calculative, and with you, he's shamelessly bratty. On the surface, it seemed like Dazai was the dominant one in the relationship with how you often obey his requests to the point that you're letting him walk all over you.

"You should teach that idiot a lesson"

Kunikida once said to you. Dazai isn't heartless, you're aware that he wasn't taking advantage of you or using you for his gain. He's just being typically annoying, it would be a lie if you didn't find it charming. Your boyfriend would talk your ear off, scam you into buying food for him, or trick you into doing a favor. He'd lovingly call you his 'loyal dog', even if it sounded a bit insulting, you still let him do whatever he wanted.

But everybody has limits, right?

Today wasn't going well for you. It began in the morning with Dazai oversleeping in your shared bed, you realize you're running late for work. You rushed into the bathroom and the water was fucking freezing, did Dazai use up all the warm water last night? You rush to work with no coffee. Your boss decided to give you a stack of paperwork due today. Later at lunch, your uniform gets stained with food. Your co-workers keep borrowing shit from you and not returning them. The paperwork you rushed to finish turned out to be incorrect, your boss wasn't pleased and commanded you to fix the paperwork by tomorrow. You're traveling home with a massive headache of how shitty the day has been.

"I'm home"

You sluggishly closed the door to your apartment. Dazai was resting on the couch flipping through his favorite book. You were starving and exhausted as you plopped right beside your boyfriend.

"I cooked dinner for you, babe!"

Dazai beamed enthusiastically at you. There was an involuntary shiver from you, the last time Dazai cooked dinner, your apartment almost caught fire. Nonetheless, you sat with your boyfriend at the table and stared at the abomination that he called dinner. Two bites in and you decided to order takeout. Now, you were busy fixing the paperwork you accidentally fucked up earlier at work. You wanted to get everything done and get to bed as soon as possible. Maybe tomorrow might be even better.

You were too busy scanning the errors of your paperwork when Dazai unceremoniously crawled onto your lap like a cat. He grinned at you while you gave him a tired look.

"Can you please move out of the way, babe? I'm trying to finish some work"

The brunette pouts and slowly gets off your lap, he stands next to your chair as you resume your work. He decides to rub his hands on your shoulders from behind you, obviously being suggestive with his touching. But you were not in the mood.

"Dazai, stop that"

"Aw, am I distracting you?"

"Yes, I'm sorry but I'm not in the mood tonight"

Your boyfriend silently huffs and crosses his arms. He lingers around you as he formulates a plan to get you to pay attention to him. From the corner of your eye, you spot Dazai creeping in and stealing the paper from your hands. You bite back a groan as he scans the contents of the paper.

"Now, what does this paperwork have that I don't?"

"Osamu, give that back"

"What is it about this sheet of paper that keeps hogging all of my boyfriend's attention?"

Dazai raised a brow and looked at the paper and then at you. A hand runs down from your haggard face as you sternly look at your boyfriend.

"Come on, no games tonight babe, I need to get this done—"

You stared in horror as Dazai decided to rip the paper in half. A cunning smirk was on his face as he discarded the torn paperwork on the floor. You were motionless. Your boyfriend waltzes beside your table picks up the rest of the paperwork and trashes it on the floor before stomping his foot on it.

"Osamu, what the fuck!"

Dazai laughs mischievously as he takes in your distraught expression. He was expecting you to cry or yell at him, either reaction would mean he would get your attention anyway. But what he was not anticipating was for you to stand up and grab him by the hair. He yelps.

"Ow! What are you—"

"What the fuck was that for?"

Your voice was deeper and indicated how serious the situation was. Dazai blinks at you, and the cunning look on his face vanishes.

"You weren't paying attention to me and—"

"Can't you see I was busy? Shit, I need all of that done by tomorrow! My boss is going to kill me!"

"So what?"

Your eye twitches as your grip on Dazai's hair tightens, and your boyfriend winces.

"So what? Unbelievable. You couldn't wait for a fucking hour and decide to be a...a..."

The way your eyebrows furrowed and your gaze darkened at him made Dazai involuntary gulp. This was a new look from you. He has never seen you so...angry before. And holy fuck was it a massive turn-on for him. A sultry smirk slowly appears on his lips.

"A what?"

"Like a fucking brat"

A vein almost pops from your brain when you hear Dazai giggling. God, he was intentionally testing your patience, was he? You grit your teeth as you force your boyfriend down to his knees. He stumbles down on the floor with a quiet yelp as you sit back on your chair. Dazai watches you undo your tie and grab both of his limber wrists. You tried both of his wrists together and grabbed his hair again. You leaned close to stare at him right in the eye.

"So, you want to be a brat tonight?"

"If it gets your undivided attention, why not?"

He was challenging you. There was a bitter chuckle from you as you pulled on his hair tighter. God, Kunikida was right, you need to teach Dazai a lesson. Your boyfriend watched with glimmering eyes as you began to undo your belt and pulled them down along with your boxers. His mouth begins to salivate at the sight of your slowly hardening cock in front of him. Dazai instinctively tries to dive his face onto your lap but you stop him by slapping him hard on the face.

Dazai was stunned by the slap. You've never hit him before and he believed you never had the heart to. He slowly turns his face to look up at you with a reddening cheek and wide eyes.

"You think you deserve my cock, huh?"

You scoffed down at him. Your boyfriend swallows and stumbles to find the words to reply. You grabbed his jaw and gave him a condescending smile.

"What makes you think you can suck my cock and get away with it?"

Holy shit. Dazai's heart skipped several beats as he listened to your gruff voice. He was shamelessly turned on with this new side of you that he's already hard in his pants.

"...I'll be good, I promise"

"Bullshit"

"Please, [Name]"

You rolled your eyes when Dazai batted his lashes at you. Eventually, you sighed down at him and harshly tugged down his bottom lip before lining the tip of your dick with his mouth. His dark brown orbs shine with delight.

"Stay still"

You grunted down at him. Your boyfriend eagerly opens his mouth as you slipped your cock inside. You bit your lip when Dazai moaned around your length, his eyes merely rolling back at the taste of your cock in his mouth. He was ready to bob his head when you suddenly grabbed the back of his head and pushed him down on your dick.

"Oh fuck"

You moaned when the tip of your cock reaches the back of the brunette's throat. Dazai's breath stutters as he struggles not to choke on your length. You didn't give him time to adjust as you started grabbing his hair and thrusting your dick in and out of his mouth. Dazai lets out a choked moan as tears begin to rapidly form in his eyes. His hands balled into fists as your tie restrained him from touching you.

"Shit, that's it"

You start to facefuck Dazai at a faster pace. The brunette tries to breathe through his nostrils but every thrust is knocking the air out of his lungs. Saliva was seeping out the corners of your boyfriend's mouth at it coats your length. You watched amusingly at Dazai staring up at you with tears rolling down his cheeks, the way he looked pathetic on his knees with your cock sliding in and out of his mouth drew you close to your release.

"Hah—fuck, I'm close—"

Dazai watched you panting. He struggles to keep his vision straight, but the lack of air and the taste of your cock on his tongue overwhelmed him so much. Every time the tip hits the back of his throat, it makes his cock throb in his pants. Fuck, he wants to feel you inside of him.

"Hey brat"

You breathlessly called out to him. He blinks up at you as a few more tears slide down his cheeks. You were facefucking him intensely that snot was slowly running down his nose and his immense spit was trailing from his chin down to his neck. You were fucking your cock so deep in him that his nose was constantly brushing your pubic hair.

"I'm close, you better swallow every drop"

There was a strangled sob from Dazai as the pace of your thrusts went even faster at the approach of your orgasm. You bit your lip and furrowed your eyebrows in concentration as you used Dazai's mouth as a fleshlight.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck—"

The brunette goes cross-eyed when your seed floods his mouth. He never felt you cum this much that he's afraid that he won't be able to swallow everything. You went still with your cock in Dazai's mouth while your head was thrown back when you came. After your orgasm passed, you pulled out and watched Dazai cough profusely. Excess cum spits out of his mouth and down to the floor. Your boyfriend continued to cough and gasp for air when you suddenly slapped him on the cheek again.

"Didn't I tell you to swallow everything?"

Dazai only pathetically looks up at you and wheezes. You pushed his head down to the floor.

"Lick everything off and make sure you won't miss a drop"

A dark smile spreads on your face when your boyfriend whimpers and weakly cleans the cum off the floor with his tongue. While he was busy with his face on the floor, you reached for one of the drawers and pulled out a bottle of lube. The sound of you popping the lid off catches Dazai's attention.

"Finally"

"Oh? You think I'm going to fuck you now? You haven't learned your lesson yet, brat"

With that, you close the lid and place it on top of your desk. Dazai pouts. You stood up and sat on the bed, you patted the space beside you, commanding him to crawl over there. The brunette stumbles and makes his way beside you. Dazai yelped when you effortlessly manhandled him and flipped him to his stomach, his hands were still tied. He shivers when he feels you unbuttoning his pants and sliding them off his bandaged legs. You laughed at the sight of his red and hardened cock.

"Wow, you like it when I facefuck you, huh?"

Dazai grumbles and tries to hide his face against one of the pillows. Your hands trailed from his back down his ass making him arch his back. You hummed when your palm rests on one of his buttcheek.

"Count"

"What—"

SLAP!

A resonating slap echoed in the room as Dazai recoiled. Did you just fucking spank him? That has never happened before. He looked back at you.

"What the fuck was—"

"I said, count, brat"

It's hilarious how Dazai immediately went silent. You drew back your hand and gave his ass another smack, and he flinches.

"One—"

He breathes out. The stinging sensation of your hand slapping his asscheek sent a delightful shiver down his spine. Dazai bites back a moan when you slapped his ass again.

"Two"

"Count louder, slut"

SLAP!

"Three!"

The brunette's voice sounded strained. Fuck, his asscheek hurt, but it hurts good. Plus, the way your hair look disheveled, your face stern and sweaty, and your hand spanking his ass made you look so dominating that it makes him impossibly harder.

SLAP!

"Fo-four! Fuck, I need you [Name]—"

SLAP!

"Five! Shit! [Name] please!"

SLAP!

You didn't say a word as you continued to spank him. His asscheek was completely red. Tears were forming in Dazai's eyes again.

"[Name]—"

"Did I tell you to stop counting?"

"No—"

SLAP!

"Six! Fuck!"

Dazai whines and you watch in wicked amusement when a stray tear escapes the corner of his eye.

SLAP!

"Se-seven!"

SLAP!

"Eight!"

"That's it, keep going, brat"

Your boyfriend begins to sniff. He hated how he was deeply turned on by how mean you are. Maybe he should continue being a brat more—

SLAP!

"Nine! Hghh, shit"

Dazai's asscheek begins to feel sore, but there's no way he's going to yield. He has to stay strong even if you're about to give him a hundred spanks until his skin bleeds.

SLAP!

"Ten!"

Your hand caressed your boyfriend's red asscheek. You see Dazai's shoulder shaking as he buries his face against the pillow. You sneakily went to fetch the lube on the desk and coated your dick with lube. You grabbed both of your boyfriend's hips to flip him over to his back. You smiled at the pitiful expression on his face. Dazai's eyes were glassy and there were dry tear stains on his cheeks. His hair was tangled as sweat decorated his skin.

"You look wonderfully pathetic"

"Th—Thanks, glad you like it"

Dazai's chuckle was cut short when you wrapped a hand around his bandaged neck. He gasps and looks at you owlishly. He can feel your lubed cock teasing his entrance and it makes him whimper.

"Poor baby, do you want my cock inside of you?"

Your boyfriend nods frantically but you squeeze the sides of his neck harder.

"What makes a brat like you deserving of my cock?"

"...I—I've been a good—!"

"Oh really? You're going to be a good boy now?"

"Yes! Fuck, please"

When the tip of your cock slowly presses inside of Dazai, he almost lets out a cry of joy. Gradually, you slide your cock inside of your boyfriend until you're fully sheathed within him. With your hand still squeezing his neck, Dazai lets out a shuddered breath. You start a slow torturous pace, feeling his walls clenching around your length. Fuck, he felt so warm and tight as if you haven't been inside of him countless times before.

"Fuck—hah—please go faster"

"Don't tell me what to do, brat"

You spat at him and he whines. Dazai shuts his eyes as he endures the slow pace. Eventually, you started driving your cock deep into him, hitting that special spot that makes him moan wantonly. Your boyfriend throws his head back when you begin to thrust in him slowly and deeply as he wraps his legs around your waist.

"Oh fuck—"

Your hand was squeezing his neck harder as your thrusts knocked out every breath from his lungs. You gazed down at your boyfriend trying to keep his eyes from rolling back. You bit your lip and wrapped your free hand around his poor hard cock. You gave it a few languid strokes and Dazai arches his back with a louder moan.

"Don't cum until I tell you to, slut"

You warned him and he goes crossed-eyed. You stop stroking his cock and he whimpers at the loss. You decide to hook one of his bandaged legs over your shoulder before slamming deep into him. Your boyfriend yelps as you start a faster pace. The sound of your hips slapping against his ass echoed in the room. Dazai can feel your cock sliding in and out of his ass swiftly, the tip kissing the deepest part inside of him that makes his eyes roll back and his toes curl.

"Come on, why are you quiet now? Lemme hear how much you love my cock inside of you"

You cooed. Dazai's head lolled forward, watching you fuck your cock deep inside of him as his pathetic dick slapped against his abdomen with each hard thrust.

"Hghh—fuck! You feel so fucking good—hah—"

You smile and reach to brush the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. The sound of Dazai gasping and moaning, the sight of your cock being swallowed greedily by his hole, the feeling of your cock abusing that perfect spot inside of him, and the smell of sex in the air all drove you to the edge as you can feel your orgasm approaching again.

"Hah—[Name]—oh, ah—fuck!"

Dazai couldn't even form a coherent sentence with how you were pounding into him. Fuck, he wants to cum. He needs to cum. Your boyfriend's lip wobbles as he looks up at you through his wet lashes.

"Can I—shit—Please, let me cum—"

"Fucking wait, brat. I'm close"

You gritted your teeth as you began to desperately reach your release. You begin to brutally thrust into him making his jaw slack as his eyes blissfully rolled back. Dazai is convinced he's going to cum with the way you're using him like he's some sort of fuck toy, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it. As your peak becomes unbearably close, you wrap a hand around your boyfriend's throat again to bring his face close before slamming your lips against his. Your hips begin to stutter and by the third brutal thrust, your seed spills inside of him.

Dazai moans into the kiss as he feels your warm cum decorating his walls. However, you didn't pull away as you reached for Dazai's cock and begin to stroke it briskly.

"Oh fuckkkk—"

The brunette moans as he bucks his hips against your hand. It didn't take long until Dazai was convulsing underneath you as his cum coats both your hand and his abdomen. Gently, you start to pull out before collapsing next to your boyfriend on the bed. There was a long period where you both tried to catch your breath. Dazai chuckles.

"That was fucking mindblowing"

Your face flushed as you ran a hand down your sweaty face. As you processed the entire thing, you couldn't help but smile. Who knew losing your temper while taming your bratty boyfriend could lead to mindblowing sex? Dazai is convinced that everything is sweet and dandy until he turns his face to see you scowling at him, and his smile drops.

"You fucking ruined my paperwork"

"Uhh...round two?"

"No, you're getting punished, for real"

"And what? You're going to spank me one hundred times?"

"No, you're getting no cuddles and kisses for a week"

"WHAT"

#— ♬ with love; kitasgloves #— ♬ signed by; kitasgloves #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd fanfic #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs dazai osamu #bsd dazai osamu #bsd dazai #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai osamu x reader #bsd dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x you #dazai x reader #osamu dazai x reader

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darlingshane · 4 months

Text

Secret Ingredient / Part II

Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: Things are looking up for Michael. He has great hopes of making this work, and all he wants is to spend the rest of his life with you and Rhys. While you're still apprehensive about certain aspects of your relationship, there's nothing you'd love more than to figure it all out with him.

CW: 18+, explicit, smut, vaginal sex, shower sex, fluff, friends to lovers, complicated relationships, some angst.

Word Count: 2.4k

— Links: First Part // AO3.

A/N: Richie makes a guest appearance to question all of Michael's choices.

Six months later…

There’s nothing that hypes Michael more right now than going home after closing The Beef. Getting to hang out with you and squeeze some time with your baby when he’s awake has become the highlight of his day that he looks forward to every single night.

He still brings you food, or cooks you something when he gets home. Even if you don’t live together yet, the spark is there and has grown far brighter than he could ever imagine since you started dating, and he has no doubt it’ll happen at some point

His life was drastically changed that moment he stumbled onto you in the hallway when you moved into his building with Rhys in tow.

He didn’t know that day that you were exactly what he needed. It took him away from that familiar path that it was leading him to dangerous places and guided him toward a nice clearing instead.

Though he still struggles with a lot of shit about the business, he’s gained some leeway, and has learned there’s a better way of handling those issues. He’s also come to accept that if he wants to be in your life, he needs to follow through with his decisions. In both– business and life. Even if that means asking for help, which it doesn’t come naturally for him.

You are the biggest inspiration and supporter he has right now. He’s taken suggestions directly from you to improve the shop, like giving customers pre-order options, and offering delivery. It’s a work in progress, but he has hope it’ll work out.

Besides all that, watching you raise Rhys on your own in the past six months gave him the most courage to take that leap forward. Even if it was fucking scary. Even if there are still a few old demons he has to fight every night before closing his eyes.

It all has put him in a better mood too. People have noticed. He’s also gotten rid of a few bad habits and taken up jogging in the morning, before the city wakes up. Sometimes he takes Rhys with him. Usually in his stroller but sometimes the baby would refuse to let go of his arms and would have to use a carrier and trade his jog for a walk. He’s shown him all his favorite places around the city, the same places he’s taken you to as well. They sit at the dog park and look at the dogs play cause Rhys is completely taken away with them. It’s the first thing he’s shown a real interest in, besides mom of course. The baby would spread his arms and try calling to them with his cute unintelligible babble.

He had never seen himself as a dad until now. It was never on his plans. Figure his family was fucked enough that there was no need to bring more Berzattos into the world. But getting to know Rhys, care for him, watching grown and love him as much as he loves you has made him consider that maybe there’s still hope yet. He just has to make sure of not repeating all those same mistakes that haunt his past.

While everyone cleans up their station, Michael sits at his desk and goes over today's numbers before going home. For a change, they're not as bad as a year ago, which is something to take into account. Perhaps in a couple of months he’d be able to hire a couple of new guys to run deliveries. He keeps that pinned for when the right time comes.

Once he's done in the office, he wishes everyone goodnight as they part home.

When the lights are off and doors locked, he heads out last with Richie by his side, who needs a ride home.

Cousin lights up a cigarette before getting into the car while Michael unlocks the doors and slides into the driver's seat. On the passenger side, on the floor mat, rests a bag of groceries and a pack of diapers he left there earlier that he now moves to the backseat to make room for Richie.

“Mama's got you running errands like an asshole again,” Richie taunts, settling on his seat as Michael starts the engine.

“She ain't. I offered.” He scoffs. “What is it to you? Why are you so concerned about what I do?”

“I’m just looking out for you, Cousin.”

“How? How are you looking out for me? All you’ve done is question and ridicule everything I do since I told you about her.”

“Because she’s using you. She has no baby daddy, and she’s just latched onto the first schmuck she met cause raising a baby is expensive.”

Michael shakes that frustration with a sharp tilt of his head as he veers the car out of the lot.

It’s not the first time he’s said something like that, but it’s starting to rub him the wrong way to see Richie thinking he knows better than him.

“What? You think she’s after my money now?” he can’t help but scoff. “She probably has more saved than you and me put together. Why are you being a fucking dick about it?”

“I don’t know… I just can’t wrap my head around you settling down and raising someone else’s baby. Now look at you, you don’t smoke, you don't drink, you don’t wanna hang out… it’s like you’re a totally different person.”

“Well, maybe that’s not a bad thing. It's called growing up. You should look it up, Cousin.”

“If she’s so important to you why haven’t you introduced her to the rest of the family, huh? Are you embarrassed of us or something? The only times you’ve brought her to the shop is when I wasn’t there. She’s met Tina, and Ebra and Gary… are the rest of us not worthy of her presence?”

“It’s not like that. We’re still trying to figure out how to do this. You’ll meet her when the time is right. And this is the last time we're having this conversation. I’m tired of you busting my balls every chance you get. I know what I’m doing.”

He ends that conversation hoping that his friend won’t bring that up again. As much as Richie has tried to convince him otherwise, there’s no doubt in Michael's heart that this is what he wants– just to be a part of your life.

After placing the bags on the counter, he goes around the apartment to find Rhys already sleeping in his crib. He has to fight the urge to pick him up and cuddle him, but he’d probably get to that in a couple of hours when he stirs awake in the middle of the night. So he just dips his head to print a gentle kiss on his forehead.

You’re taking a shower and when he sees the silhouette of your bare body behind the frosted glass he can't fight the need of having you in his hands.

He announces himself with a knock and watches your head poke out from the side of the sliding glass as he starts taking off his clothes.

“Hey, bear,” your face beams, beautifully covered on water beads.

“Hey, mind if I join you?”

“I’m almost done but come in if you want.”

He rushes out of his jeans and underwear, leaving his pile of clothes to pool by the sink to set his feet in the shower. From behind, he slides his palms along your sides to hug your torso as he prints a string of kisses along your neck and shoulders while you finish rinsing your body.

“How was your day, mama bear?”

“Good, they green-lit my project. We're starting next week.”

“That's my girl. You're gonna do great. We should do something to celebrate.”

“Aww, thank you.” Glancing over your shoulder, you tuck your arm back to caress his nape. “How's yours?”

“Same old, same old.”

“You always said that.”

“No. It was okay. It's just not as good as I'm with you.”

“Hm,” your lips curve up as they capture a soft kiss from his silver tongue.

“Say, you think we have time for a celebration quickie before the little bear wakes up?”

“He went down five minutes ago so we probably have like ten minutes tops.”

“That's more than enough for me,” his wandering hand travels down your abdomen toward your mound. “Do you wanna?”

Licking your lips, you nod your head as you wave your ass back against his dick that quickly jumps awake at the friction. It doesn't take you long to feel him swell to perfection. Same in your end. It took you a few months to get comfortable having sex with him but once you started you couldn't ever have enough of him. Feeling utterly wanted by Michael arouses you more than his fingers rounding your clit that makes your walls melt.

Once you're ready, you brace your hands on the tiled wall, bending slightly so he can properly slip into you from behind. The warm shower spray pours nicely on your back as Michael slips inside you. His hardness throbs against your walks when he’s fully sheathed inside. As he leans forwards to mouth at your neck, he blocks the spray of water. Your skin buzzes when his teeth scrape the surface of your skin as his hips start gaining some speed.

Your breath hitches, as he pounds your ass with dedicated passion. You move with him as the temperature rises, letting one of his hands tenderly massage your breasts as the other handles your clit as rough as his hips slam against you.

“You like it like that, sweetheart?” He sucks your earlobe between his lips.

“Fuck yeah.”

It’s quick, and hot, and utterly satisfying to end the day with him pushing inside you until you both come undone.

Allowing Michael to weave into your life so seamlessly fast wasn’t a decision you took lightly. Having a new little person to care for and at the same time figure out your feelings for Michael was quite challenging, to say the least. Scary comes to mind too if you really think about it. It took you a few months to warm up to the idea, but ultimately it was Michael’s unwavering attitude that put you more at ease. He was there from the get-go. He’s helped you in ways no one ever did. You never had to ask, he’d always show up, day after day. Seeing him caring for Rhys just as much really warmed you up to the idea that there might be some good guys yet. And though you’re aware he’s not perfect, he has one of the biggest hearts you’ve ever come across. He makes you feel loved and supported, always finds new ways to make you laugh but more importantly he’s won his place in your baby’s heart as well. Rhys adores him as much as you do. Sometimes it feels like even more. His little face lights up brightly when he sees Michael more than anyone. So, in a way it was watching them bond the thing that made you welcome him deeper into your life.

There are still a few things you have some reservations about, like moving in together. Though he’s been spending more and more time at your place in the past few weeks, and has been proven to be a good partner, making it official still makes you a little wary.

It doesn’t stop him from trying… Every other week, he’d suggest that maybe it is time to take the next step. It scares you how willing he is to do that, and it worries you that he might have not mulled it over enough. There are a lot of things that could potentially go wrong, and if it was just you, you’d jump right in, eyes closed. The key here is Rhys. Your son already has a deadbeat dad who went as far as signing away his parental rights. You don’t ever wanna give anyone the chance to break your baby’s heart like that ever again. No matter how much Michael loves the both of you, you need to be sure that if anything happens between you two, this is not going to affect Rhys.

Perhaps it’s the fact that you're in a good mood today or the way he’s holding the baby in his chest with both making eyes at you that you can’t resist but give in a little after dinner.

“What was that Rye Bread?” He says after the baby makes an undistinguishable noise behind his pacifier. “Oh, he says he’s taken a vote and that I should move in.”

“He didn’t say that,” you scoff, shaking your head. “He probably said– it’s time for a diaper change, and it should be you the one to deal with it for being so damn annoying.”

“Those are a lot of words for a none-talking baby.” You both laugh. “C’mon, I know you want to, sweetheart.” He changes voices to a funny pitch tone pretending it is Rhys talking then. “Yeah, mommy. Let Mikey move in. I need a buddy to play games and watch TV. Please?”

You can swear you’ve never met anyone crazier than Michael. Anyone in their right mind would take heed of a situation like this or just downright bolt in the other direction.

“Look, I have a lot of faults, but I promise if for some reason this doesn’t work, I’d never stop caring about this little guy here. I know that’s something that you’re really worried about.”

“Would you be willing to put that in writing? Officially?”

“Anytime. Where do I have to sign?”

“You’re crazy,” you shake your head, amused.

“Pretty crazy about you.” he smiles with his whole face. “This is the last time I’ll ask. What do you say? Do you want me to move in?”

“Okay.”

It feels easy to say and hard to admit that deep down–

This is what you always wanted.

#michael berzatto #michael berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fanfiction #mikey berzatto #mikey berzatto x reader #jon bernthal #jon bernthal fanfiction #fluff #smut #darlingwrites

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rollinouttahere-writes · 10 months

Note

platonic yandere Crocodile ad daughter reader

As you can see from the word count, I got extremely carried away. Hope you enjoy it!

Was It Worth It?

Yandere Sir Crocodile x Daughter Reader

7.5k words

Most would say that you’re spoiled.

Honestly, you can’t argue against it.

Your father was committed to giving you the best of the best in life and made no exceptions. As far as he was concerned, you were the only person in the world that was worthy of luxury and relaxation. And given that your father was renowned warlord Sir Crocodile, giving you such a lifestyle was an easy feat.

Designer clothes and accessories filled your closet and fluctuated as styles evolved, all of your meals were expertly crafted by either a personal chef or the staff of a high end restaurant, and you had everything you could ever need for your hobbies. You even had your own pet bananawani, Lady Camorra, though she was still just a baby. Despite that, she was already the size of the lengthy dining room table and had to stay with the other bananawani in the basement.

All of this was accepted eagerly. What can you say? You’re a daddy’s girl.

The only responsibilities you had was to your dear pet and your studies, something that your dad was adamant about. Becoming a pirate like he did is distinctly not an option for you, that much has been made clear. What options you did have for your future were still very much a mystery to you, it was hard to believe that he would ever let you go out and get a job.

You couldn’t even go outside by yourself.

Not that it bothered you all that much. Despite the restrictions, you made outings with your dad (and typically his most recent assistant, Robin) frequently. He was a major public figure here in Alabasta and made many appearances for the sake of his reputation. Naturally, you would be brought along as well.

Most of the time, these were casual trips to go out to a nice restaurant or shopping. The only people that would be there at the same time as you would be the staff. You honestly wished there would be more people around, but when you voiced this, Crocodile would simply state that it was for safety and leave it at that. Which did make sense, you suppose. You weren’t so sheltered as to not be aware that your father has many enemies.

You were grateful for how pleasant your life has been and appreciated how hard Crocodile worked to provide it to you. Which is why you wanted to get him a gift for his birthday next week.

The most you’ve been able to do in the past is make him a card and some simple craft project you worked on. As much as you’ve wanted to get him a more proper present, you didn’t exactly have the means to do so. That, and he kept insisting that he doesn’t need you to get him anything. Usually he would say something cheesy along the lines of ‘your being here is gift enough’.

This year was going to be different, though. It took a great deal of planning, but you’re finally going to be able to surprise your dad with a real present this time! It took months of saving, but you’re pretty sure you’ve scraped together enough to buy him a new ring from a local jewelry store. It would probably surprise many to know that you don’t receive much for an allowance. It made sense though. Crocodile buys you everything you could ever need or want. The allowance was just some pocket change for you to go buy snacks from the casino you lived above.

Today was the day. Everything was going perfectly. You’d woken up early to get your studies done ahead of time. If you didn’t have everything finished, your personal bodyguards weren’t permitted to escort you down to get a treat. The timing of finishing early was crucial because Crocodile was due to make a public appearance at a neighboring city today, but it was only a brief one so you needed to make your excursion quick.

The biggest hurdle ahead of you was being able to ditch your guards and slip out of the casino unnoticed, but you had a plan. Once you got downstairs, you would go to the bathroom, put on your desert cape and a scarf to cover your face, and make a run for it. It’s far from being fool-proof, but it’s your best shot. Your guards aren’t allowed to take you out of the building, and you know no amount of begging will sway them. Though you do hope they won’t get fired over this, that would make you feel terrible.

All that you could do in this moment was try to get through your schoolwork as quickly as possible. Ideally, you wanted to leave shortly after Crocodile did since your window of time to do this wasn’t long. Three hours at most, based on how long these types of appearances usually take.

The door to your private study is opened, and you don’t need to look over your shoulder to know who it is. Heavy but precise footsteps come up behind you, and a large hand rests on the back of your chair.

“I’m going to be heading out now, do you need anything before I leave?”

As per usual, your dad’s main concern was you, feeling the need to ask the question despite knowing full well that you would absolutely be fine until he came back.

You giggled at the inquiry, “I think I’ll be okay for a couple hours, dad.”

Crocodile loomed over your desk, checking up on what you’re actively working on. His eyes narrowed as he read over your shoulder, “You’re typically still working on mathematics at this hour, why are you doing your history lesson already? You didn’t skip subjects, did you?”

Internally, you cursed at how observant your dad was. Of course he would notice this! The grip you had on the history book tightened as you scrambled to explain yourself, “Oh, um… No, I woke up early today and decided to just go ahead and get my schooling done.” You looked up at him and plastered on the most sweet and innocent smile you could, praying that he would buy it.

Crocodile’s eyebrows raised slightly, but the rest of his face remained neutral. Teeth ground against the cigar in his mouth as he considered your words. After a moment, he switched his focus to the books on your desk. Without responding to you, he brought one of them over to himself and began flipping through it, and then proceeded to do the same with a few more books.

He nodded, seemingly content with what he found, “Good work, that was very responsible of you.” His one hand gently pet your hair and he offered a small but genuine smile. “How about we get dinner at that one restaurant you really like tonight?”

Your eyes lit up and you bounced in your seat, “The one that has the really good ice cream?!”

“Of course you’re already thinking about dessert.” Crocodile chuckled, “But yes, that one.”

Lurching out of your chair, you wrap your arms around his torso and squeeze him into a tight hug. One that he returns gently while lightly laughing at your enthusiasm, “I’ll assume this is your way of saying that you would like to go.”

“Oh, yes! Please!”

“Very well, I’ll make the reservation now.” By that, he means he’s going to call and tell them to have the place cleared out before you two get there. “I have to leave now, be good and finish your studies.” With that, he exited the room and you could faintly register the sound of the front door opening and closing.

You resumed your work, eager to finish your final subject so you could get on with your plan. You bit your lip as you mulled over your newfound dilemma. Crocodile probably won’t take you out for dinner if you sneak out for a bit, even if it is for a good reason.

Maybe you could do this without being caught? If you really hurried and were successful at sneaking back into the casino, you might be able to gaslight your guards into thinking that they simply didn’t see you leave the bathroom. It would only be natural for you to keep walking and assume they were following you. They would likely be too embarrassed to bring this situation up to your father. Yeah, that should work. Hopefully.

With a newfound sense of determination, you complete your studies.

Gleefully, you scurry back to your bedroom to grab your purse. Your dessert cloak and scarf were already compactly folded and stuffed inside. You just needed one more thing and you would be ready to set your plan into action.

Unfortunately, there was no way for you to ask about your dad’s ring size without raising suspicion, so you would need to borrow one to bring with you. This wasn’t a problem, however. You frequently help him pick out which rings to wear in the morning, so you know exactly where to find them and what the combination to the safe is.

It was crucial that you didn’t leave a single clue that you’d been in his room while he was gone, so you were careful not to disturb anything besides the safe. Airing on the side of caution, you even take note of the exact position the knob is in so you can keep that minute detail the same. It would hardly be shocking for Crocodile to notice something like that.

After the safe door is open, you pull out the first ring you see, not wanting to disturb any of the other rings in here. It’s a sturdy golden ring with small but dazzling rubies decorating the band. He wore this one on his index finger somewhat regularly.

You slip the ring into your purse and spin on your heels, eager to leave so you can get on with your mission.

Making a conscious effort to keep your face neutral so as to not allude to being up to something, you open the front door and greet the two guards stationed outside of it, “Hi! I wanna go downstairs to that cute bakery in the lobby!”

One of the guards, an absolutely massive man named Abasi, regards you lightly, “We can’t do that until you’ve finished your schooling, you know that.” His voice was naturally gruff, but he spoke to you politely. His head was shaved clean minus the well maintained goatee he sported.

Summoning your best acting skills, you pout dramatically, “I am done, though! I woke up early and already did all of it.”

Tabia, a lean but distinctly tall woman with a scar running down the side of her face and parts of her neck eyed you warily, “Really, now? Then you won’t mind if I confirm that, yes?”

“Not at all!” You chirped happily, gesturing for her to come in and do just that. Continuing to stand in the entryway, you do your best to look as sweet and innocent as possible while Abasi continues blocking your way.

It doesn’t take long for Tabia to return, giving Abasi a silent nod to verify that your story was true. He nods back and finally steps out of the way, “Apologies for the inconvenience, Lady (Y/N).”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” you hurried past him so you could lead the way, but also avoid them possibly seeing something in your facial expression that could give you away. Now that you’d gotten the ball rolling, anxiety was starting to bubble in your stomach at all the ways this could go wrong.

All three of you enter an elevator at the end of the hall to bring you down to the lobby. The bodyguards are standing between you and the door, both with their backs to you as the lift begins its slow descent.

It’s quiet for a moment, but Tabia breaks the silence, “I’m surprised you wanted to do this, you haven’t requested to visit the lobby in months.”

Briefly, you wince at the observation. You suppose this fact would be suspicious in its own right. You’re quick to throw out an excuse and pray it sounds believable, “Haha, yeah. I guess I just got kinda burnt out with everything down there, but I’m really craving some baklava right now.”

“Makes sense,” was the only reply you got. You have to suppress the sigh of relief from them accepting the answer. This is going well so far, you can only hope that remains the case.

The elevator slows to a stop with a quiet ding and the doors slide open. Both guards step out first and scrutinize the surroundings before motioning that it’s okay to come out. Now that you’re where all the other people are, Abasi and Tabia station themselves on either side of you.

This was it, time to really get things started, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Tabia’s eye, the one with the scar over it, twitched ever so slightly, “Can you not wait until you’re back in the safety of your home?”

You pressed your legs together and bounced slightly, “No, I really need to go. Like, now.”

She exhaled sharply, but changed course for the nearest public restroom, “Very well, we’ll wait outside for you.”

“Thank you!” You rushed past them and into the bathroom to maintain the fake urgency you’d just created. Of course, you didn’t actually have to go. Frantically, you run into an unoccupied stall and rip the clothes out of your purse to throw them on. There’s no time to make yourself look nice in them, you need to be out of here tout de suite. They’re going to be expecting you to finish your business in a few minutes, not a few seconds, so doing this as fast as humanly possible was the key here.

You grabbed the wallet and ring from your purse and inverted it. The handbag you’d chosen for today was reversible, something done intentionally so as to make it less likely for the guards to recognize you when you walked past them.

Your belongings were stuffed back into the purse and you ran out of the stall with the same speed that you entered it in. The handful of people in here with you shot you weird looks, but none of them appeared to have gotten the chance to recognize you when you came in. After a brief glance in the mirror to confirm that your scarf was obscuring your face, you ran for the door.

Time to act casual. Despite your previously frenzied state, you open the door and exit calmly. You keep your head down and do your best to look as unassuming as you can. Abasi and Tabia are silently standing outside, observing the crowded casino. They pay you no mind as you walk past, barely sparing you more than an instinctive glance before looking away.

They didn’t recognize you!

As much as you want to squeal in excitement, now is definitely not the time. You weren’t out of the woods yet. There was still a chance that you would be recognized at the main entrance. That, and you’re pretty sure the guards would immediately put the casino into lockdown as soon as they realized you weren’t in the bathroom. Which wouldn’t take long, Tabia has come into the bathroom to check on you before if she thinks you’re taking too long.

The casino itself was extremely loud as per usual. Between the chatter of the patrons and the noise of dozens of slot machines being played all at once you were positive that no one will be able to hear your heart pounding out of your chest. Guests were bumping into you as you slipped into the crowd to blend in better, which was a new sensation thanks to your guards always keeping people well away from you.

It was a touch overwhelming. You didn’t hate it, though.

The sparkling glass doors of the entrance came into view, and as much as you wanted to run through them, you refrained. That would look way too suspicious. The doors were already propped open, all you needed to do was walk through them and you would be in the clear.

You clutched your purse tighter to your person in a weak attempt to soothe your nerves. The instant your foot passed the threshold, one of the employees at the door spoke up, promptly causing your heart to leap into your throat. This is it, you’ve been caught!

“Have a nice day, miss! Please do come again!”

Oh, okay. You’re fine. You offer a small wave and a little ‘mhm’ because you can’t risk them figuring out who you are based on your voice.

As soon as you’re outside, you break into a power walk. Both to put space between you and the casino, but also to get to your destination quicker. Luckily for you, there was a jewelry store just down the street. If you really sped through the process, you think you could be back home in about ten minutes.

Convincing your guards that they simply hadn’t noticed you leaving the restroom would be difficult, but you’ll cross that bridge when you get to it.

No one paid you any mind as you jogged down the street, likely having more important things to worry about. This was another unique experience. Whenever you would go on an outing with your dad, people would gawk and even cheer to see him. Naturally, their fondness extended to you, though it was debatable if it was genuine or if they just saw you as an excellent networking opportunity. Right now, though? You were just some girl in a hurry, that’s it.

The jewelry store came into view. Blue Diamond Waterfall was etched into the sign outfront in an elegant, blue font. This was considered to be the best place to get accessories in all of Alabasta.

With your hopes high, you march into the store and make a beeline for the men’s section. High end watches glinted at you from their cases, but you ignored them. You were here for a ring, and only that. Finally, you see a display case containing just what you were looking for.

Unsurprisingly, all of the rings are gorgeous. The bands are expertly crafted with masterfully done engraved patterns, and the gems were cut to perfection. You smiled widely under your scarf. Crocodile would love these!

As your eyes rake over the wide selection, a thought strikes you. There are no price tags. You get an uncomfortable pit in your stomach as you suddenly question if you had enough for any of these. Was the absence of price tags a stylistic choice, or was this a case of ‘if you have to ask you can’t afford it’. You weren’t able to save up a particularly large sum of money, so you really hope it’s the former.

Before your anxiety can gnaw at you any further, an employee approaches you from the other side of the display case.

“Good morning! My name is Lapis, is there anything I can help you with today?” The individual standing across from you was an older woman with a kind face and graying hair.

“G-Good morning,” you were starting to feel embarrassed at the possibility that you would be leaving here empty handed and that your efforts would be for nothing. “Um, I was wanting to buy a ring, actually.”

“Well I can certainly help you with that! Might I ask what the occasion is that you’re shopping for?” Her voice was chipper and welcoming, which did help soothe you slightly.

“It’s for my dad, his birthday is soon and I wanted to get him something special.”

Lapis’s eyes softened and she brought a hand to her chest, “Oh, that is so sweet! I would love to assist you with that! As you can see, we have quite the collection of men’s jewelry here. Was there a specific price range you were wanting to keep to?”

Oh, boy. Here it goes. You fish your wallet out of your purse and pull out every bill you have in there before handing it to her, “However much this is… it’s um, all I have.”

She gracefully took the money and quickly counted all of it. Her lips pursed when she finished, and you could feel yourself begin to sweat. Were you about to get laughed out of the store for not having enough?

The berry was handed back to you and she spoke up again, “Alright, if you’ll follow me, we have a selection just over there that’s within your budget.”

Just like that, a weight was lifted from your shoulders. This excursion wouldn’t be a waste after all!

Lapis stops at the case at the very end and unlocks the cabinet to pull out one of the trays, and that’s when your heart falls again. Oh. These were the cheap rings. None of them had gemstones and there was little to no detailing done on the bands. That’s not to say that the rings were hideous, but they lacked the level of flashiness that your dad tended to gravitate towards.

You must have been visibly crestfallen from the realization, and Lapis was quick to reassure you, “It’s okay, there’s nothing to be upset over! It’s the thought that counts, I’m sure your father will be happy with whatever you give him. I understand that these may not be what you had in mind, but rest assured these are held to the same level of quality as any other ring in the store.”

In all honesty, you do believe that your dad wouldn’t care about the price tag, but if you’re going to be getting yourself into trouble getting him a gift you would at least want it to be something really nice. Still, it’s not like you have much of a choice. You’re not about to leave empty handed.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you muttered lamely.

“Do you know what his ring size is, dear?” If she noticed how bummed out you still were, she elected not to comment on it.

“Oh! I almost forgot, here,” you pull the ring you took out of your purse and handed it to her. “I didn’t know what his size was, so I just brought one of his rings in. I hope that’s enough.”

She pulled a key ring out with a bunch of loops on it and began comparing them to the ring. After trying a couple, she nodded, “Excellent, that was a smart idea on your part.” Lapis examined it for a moment before handing it back to you, “That’s a lovely ring, your father certainly has a keen eye for quality.”

Yep. And here you are in the cheap section.

As if she read your mind, she added on, “Which is why he’ll be happy with whatever you get him from our store.”

Whatever, now was not the time to mope. You were working off of a very limited amount of time right now and needed to get back to the casino sooner rather than later. You focused on the rings in front of you in hopes that one would stick out to you.

One did. While there was no stone in it, the band was carved out in a way that it resembled scales. Crocodile did have an affinity for reptiles. You could see him wearing something like this.

Lapis took notice of your lingering stare and smiled brightly while plucking the ring from its stand, “This would be an excellent choice, you must have inherited your father’s tastes.”

It’s placed in your hand and you take the time to carefully examine the piece of jewelry. You must admit that Lapis was correct about the quality here. There wasn’t a single flaw to be found, and it was in your price range. What more could you really ask for?

“Do you have this one in his size?”

She beamed at you, “I need to check, but I’m fairly certain we do. One moment, please.” She took the ring back and put it with the others before placing them in the safety of the display case. Briefly, she left the room to go look for the ring you want.

Your fingers drummed along the case while you glanced around the store. No one was paying you any mind, which was a blessing. Getting recognized out on the streets without guards would be disastrous. Even if the people didn’t have ill intent, you would be in deep trouble for getting caught outside.

Lapis came back looking quite proud of herself with a velvet ring box in hand. She cracked it open so you could see for yourself that your desired ring was inside, “Lucky you, it was the last one in stock!”

Lucky indeed. You would have cried if you couldn’t have gotten this ring. You followed her to the register to complete the purchase, ready to get out of here.

To say that you cut it close would be an understatement. You didn’t even have a hundred berry left over, but you did have enough and that’s what’s important. Lapis offered to get a bag for you, but you declined saying that you wanted this to be a surprise. An answer she accepted easily.

“I’m sure he’ll love it! You should come by again and let me kn-”

Suddenly, the doors up front were kicked open and crashed into the walls with deafening thuds.

“Everyone get on the ground, this is a robbery!”

You froze immediately and felt sweat drip down your neck. This could not be happening. No way.

A gunshot echoed through the store and a nearby display case exploded, showering Lapis and yourself with bits of glass. You shrieked and immediately dropped to the ground while a different voice repeated the previous order.

The box was tightly clasped in your hands, and in a moment of panic, you covertly stuffed it into an inside pocket on your desert cape. Just in time, too.

One of the assailants stomped his way towards the front desk where you were. Had you not been keeping your head down, you might have seen the kick coming. His foot connected with your ribs and sent you rolling away from him and through more glass.

“Out of my way, bitch!” He barked at you while you curled in on yourself and tried desperately not to cry. You glanced up just enough to see that you had apparently been sitting by where the door to get behind the counters was. Why couldn’t he have just asked for you to move? Asshole.

You tried to crawl out of the puddle of glass you were in, only for another man to point a gun at you and tell you not to move. So naturally, you resigned yourself to laying in shards of glass and your own blood as they continued to cut into you. Better to be injured than dead.

Risking another glance at all the people piling into the store, you picked up on something. They’re pirates. No wonder your father loathed them so much if this is how they act. These are exactly the kinds of lowlife brutes that he had described pirates as being.

Funny, now you’re hoping that Abasi and Tabia somehow figured out where you went and would be here any second to save you.

Well, more than that, even though you knew he would be furious, you just want your dad. You’ve seen him dispose of threats before on the rare occasion someone was stupid enough to try and challenge him while he was out with you. Of course, you had been a little frightened at their display, but you knew that your dad would take care of it. And he did.

But now he wasn’t here. He was in a whole different city. All you could do was hope that they didn’t hurt you more than they already have.

And that you wouldn’t be recognized.

Glass crushed under someone’s feet as you were approached. You flinched and curled up tighter in fear of what could come. A hand gently pulls at your shoulder.

“Sit up, honey, you’re hurting yourself,” Lapis whispered while slowly adjusting you into a sitting position. The pirates didn’t bother saying anything this time, instead being much more focused on bagging up everything they could as the shop owner went around unlocking the cases at gunpoint.

Once you were up, she began carefully brushing away the glass from your clothes. She sighed when she looked at your face and saw the tear tracks. Using part of your scarf, she did her best to clean off your face, “It’s going to be okay. They care about the jewelry, not us. They’ll leave once they’re done.”

Her light ministrations ceased, and she looked at you with furrowed brows. Then her eyes widened and your hood was pulled further down your face with shaky hands.

What? Why did she-

She saw your full face when she moved the scarf. She knew who you were.

“Keep your head down no matter what, okay?” Her voice was so low and strained that you could just barely make out the words. This was really bad, but at least Lapis was on your side here.

“That’s a nice purse you got there.”

The voice belonged to one of the pirates, the one that had kicked you. All you could do was cower. That was definitely directed towards you.

Despite you being frozen, Lapis acted quickly. She slipped the purse’s strap off your shoulder and tossed it away from you two. The pirate growled in annoyance, but ultimately turned to fetch it. You couldn’t care less about it being stolen, it’s not like there was anything in there that couldn’t be replaced.

Wait. Crocodile’s ring! The one you brought here with you! Shit!

You need to get that back, but what the hell were you supposed to do? Confront a violent pirate that has already attacked you once? Fuck it, the ring isn’t that important. At least the one you just picked out was still safely tucked away on your person.

The pirate let out a long whistle, “Damn, this is nice. How does someone with a ring like this have barely anything in their wallet?” He came over and crouched down next to you, shoving your shoulder when you didn’t answer, “C’mon, speak up. Wait, don’t tell me you were here to rob these bastards, too. Oh, that’s hilarious.”

Lapis pulled you into her side firmly, “Leave her alone, she’s just a child.”

“A child? She’s practically full grown from the looks of it,” he leered at your body, taking in every part of you that he could. From your peripherals, you could see his hand reaching for your hood, “Let me see your face, sweetheart. If you did steal that ring then I think there may be a place for you on my crew.”

You cringed and attempted to duck out of the way of his intruding hand, but all that did was anger him. Roughly, he grabbed your cape and yanked it off you so hard that it sent you tumbling backwards. Much to your horror, when you look up you see him holding not only your cape, but also the scarf.

You were entirely exposed.

The pirate, the captain of this whole awful crew, stared at you hard. Then, he doubled over and started cackling. His cronies looked back and forth between him and you as he laughed hysterically, visibly puzzled by his reaction.

“Forget the jewels boys, this girl is worth more than this whole damn city!” Not giving you a chance to even attempt to get away, he grabs you by your hair and forces you to stand. As if yanking you around by your hair wasn’t enough, you feel the chill of cold steel being pressed against your throat. A quick glance confirms your fears.

“What are you talking about, captain?”

The dagger at your throat is pressed even closer, enough so that you can feel the warmth of blood droplets dripping downward.

“This is Crocodile’s kid, and he’s going to pay us some damn good money to get his ‘little girl’ back in one piece,” the captain snapped at the crew member who dared to question what was going on.

“Cro- Did you say Crocodile?! Oh hell no, I agreed to help you rob a couple of places, not fuck with a warlord!” The pirate protesting this looked like he was about to bolt.

“Fucking relax, we’ve got him over a barrel by having her in our clutches, he won’t try shit. Besides, that government lapdog hasn’t done anything important in years, and he’s obviously losing his touch and becoming careless if he lets his kid walk around on her own.” He kicked at your heels and snarled at you to move it, “Let’s get out of here before anyone can try and stop us.”

You tried to struggle out of his grip, but it was useless. Frustrated tears poured down your face and mixed with the blood on your neck. Your sobs did nothing to deter the pirates who only laughed at your terror.

A sickening crunching sound cut through the air, followed by the dagger clattering to the floor and your hair being released. The captain’s body hit the floor with a loud thud and a tense silence fell over the store.

You can’t explain what possessed you to do it, but you slowly turned around to identify what happened. As soon as you laid eyes on the sight before you, bile rose in your throat and you stumbled back.

His neck was mangled and twisted, bones pressed against the skin in unnatural ways that made your head spin.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Were those arms?”

The pirates seemed to be just as disturbed as you as they paled from witnessing the horrifying demise of their captain.

Running was the most obvious course of action for you, but you couldn’t. Your body refused to move. Until you felt a hand on your wrist. Immediately, you screamed and tried to wrench yourself free, but the grip was like an iron shackle.

You crashed into a solid form and the smell of an expensive but familiar cologne filled your lungs. More tears stung at your eyes, not ones of terror but relief, “Dad?” You whirled around and latched onto your lifeline as your sobs began anew. You tried to articulate how scared you had been, or how happy you were that he was here, but you couldn’t form a single coherent word in your state.

The hand that had brought you over settled on the back of your head, holding you close. It was borderline crushing, but it helped to ground you.

When you found the strength to look up, you saw that he wasn’t looking at you. His eyes are locked onto the surrounding pirates who were all too scared to make a move. You’ve seen your dad irritated before, but you’ve never seen such raw fury on anyone. There wasn’t so much as a miniscule trace of humanity behind his eyes as he sneered at the people before him.

Without so much as a glance at you, you were shoved into someone else’s arms, “Take her home. Now.” Sand billowed off his body as his devil fruit went into action.

“Of course, sir,” you recognized Robin’s voice instantly and clung onto one of her arms helplessly as she guided you out of the store. You attempt to look back only for her to cover your eyes, “Don’t. You don’t need to see that.”

—

Hours would pass before you saw your dad again. The time passed in a haze as you were fussed over by doctors to treat your plethora of injuries. None of them were particularly serious, much less life-threatening, but there were many small wounds that all required the utmost attention. The worst part of it was them needing to pick out the tiny bits of glass from your knees, but compared to everything else that happened today, it was manageable.

Currently, you were laying on your bed with an ice pack pressed to your ribs to help with the bruising from the kick. Your fingers brushed over the velvet box in the pocket of your loungewear as you pondered if this was all worth it. The answer was obvious.

Of course not.

Footsteps that you would recognize anywhere approached your room. For once, you weren’t excited to see him. You knew that this would not end well.

The door opened and closed. Crocodile looked over your bandaged form for a moment, then came closer to sit on the edge of the bed. You had yet to look at him head on.

“How are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

“I just spoke with the doctors. Do not lie to me, you are not fine,” you could practically hear the scowl on his face as venom dripped off the word ‘fine’.

Risking a glance in his direction, his pinched features are about what you would expect. He was pissed, but not enough to lose his composure which was a positive. There was a noticeable amount of concern in his eyes.

Hesitantly, you reach out to hold his hand, a gesture he returns with a squeeze. “I’m sore…” you admitted, “but it’s not that bad, I guess.”

“I can’t put into words how relieved I am that you are alive and not hurt any worse than you are.” His eyes hardened and he continued, “With that said, what were you thinking?!”

The sudden raising of his voice made you jump. He’s never yelled at you even once in your life.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous and stupid that stunt you pulled was? How badly that could have gone for you if I hadn’t chosen to come back early?” A humorless laugh escaped him as he shook his head, “I knew it. I knew you were lying about something this morning, I just couldn’t determine what. If I hadn't listened to my instincts and continued with my plans for the day you could have been killed!”

“I’m sorry,” the apology sounds as weak and pathetic as you feel.

“I don’t want to hear it. What I want to know is what possessed you to do something so thoughtless. What could you possibly need from a jewelry store that you don’t already have? Was it just for the thrill or is all of this not enough for you anymore?” His tone was scathing as he gestured vaguely around your room at all the luxury items you owned.

There really isn’t any point in waiting now, is there?

“Your birthday is next week.” Gingerly, you pulled the box from your pocket and held it out to him, “I wanted to get you a real present for once. I’m sorry.”

Crocodile stared at the gift laid out for him, completely speechless. He released your hand and picked up the box, flicking it open with his thumb. His expression was unreadable, further adding to your previous fears of him hating the ring.

“I tried to save up enough money to get you something nice, but that was all that I could afford,” the explanation sounded lame, but it was the truth. Jewelry was much more expensive than you had thought.

“A-And I’m really sorry about this but I took one of your rings with me when I went because I didn’t know what size you were and it got stolen by one of the pirates. I d-didn’t mean for that to happen, but he already had my purse by the time I remember that it was in there.” You started to cry as the humiliation began to truly set in. You caused so much trouble and lost a ring he liked all for the sake of buying one that he didn’t even want. You were so stupid to think any part of this plan was a good idea.

Your lip wobbled as you wallowed in self pity.

Crocodile extended his hand to you, and you assume he’s giving it back to you because of how much he didn’t want it. You took it, but were surprised when his hand stayed there.

“Put it on.”

A loud sniffle came out as you shakily slipped it onto his index finger, “You like it?”

“I appreciate the effort you went through to get this for me, and it is pleasing to look at,” he admired it on his hand for a moment before staring hard at you, “But don’t you dare even think about doing something like this again. Do I make myself clear?”

You nodded vigorously. After how horrible this whole experience was, you would never so much as go past the front door without your dad by your side. You wouldn’t even go to the lobby anymore, not that you really think you’re going to be allowed to after this.

The second he opened his arms to you, you launched yourself at him, holding on for all it’s worth. His arms crushed you against him as he seemed to need this hug as much as you did. You reveled in the warmth and comfort his embrace provided.

“You’re grounded for the rest of your life, by the way.”

Despite everything, you couldn’t help but giggle.

“You’re laughing but I’m serious,” going against the previous statement, he chuckled a little himself.

Finally, he pulled you away from him and motioned for you to lie down again, “Get some rest. I’ve got some business to attend to, but Nico Robin will be around if you need anything.”

Rest sounded great right about now, and since you got some weight off your chest, you think you’ll actually be able to sleep unlike before. Yours eyes were already beginning to drift shut in the time it took for Crocodile to reach the door.

—

Crocodile glared at the simple ring adorning his finger. Not because he hated it or anything of the sort. Honestly, he found its simplicity charming to a degree. That, and it was a gift from his darling, albeit troublesome, daughter.

The problem lied in the fact that the only thing he could see when he looked at it was your terrified face as that filthy pirate attempted to take you hostage. Unfortunately, he would have to resign himself to learning to live with it because he’s going to have to wear this accursed thing every day for the rest of his life to spare your feelings.

Robin was already waiting for him in his office, something he was grateful for given how much he wanted to get his “business” done and over with. He sat at his luxurious desk and pulled out a much needed cigar, “Is everyone here?”

“Yes, they’re waiting for you in the basement.”

He nodded as his lighter ignited the end of his cigar and took a long drag. It did nothing to help his nerves. That wasn’t surprising though, considering the day he’s had. He spared a glance at Robin, “Were there any problems?”

“There was one runner, a guard that had been at the front door, but he’s been apprehended and is with the others.” Robin looked away and pursed her lips, “Is it truly necessary to have everyone on staff today down there, though? The few directly involved, I understand, but this seems excessive.”

“Excessive? My daughter could have been killed thanks to their negligence. I only hire the best of the best for security, they should not have been fooled by a goddamned scarf,” he seethed as he slammed his hook into the desk. The wood splintered from the force and the tip of the hook pierced it deeply.

What made the situation worse was that upon realizing that you were gone, your guards did not immediately call to inform him. Granted, he would have still killed them regardless, but it was the principle of it. The audacity to attempt to save their own asses by keeping your vanishing act a secret.

“(Y/N)’s safety is their top priority and failing to do the bare minimum of keeping her in the building is a grave mistake with a high cost. That cost being their lives.” Crocodile leaned forward and leveled Robin with a glare, “If you question what I’m willing to do for my daughter again, you will be paying the same price. Understood?”

She shivered under the intensity, but did her best to keep it together, “I understand, it won’t happen again.”

“It better not.” He stood up, heading for the basement to do what needed to be done, “Keep an eye on (Y/N) until I come back.”

“Yes, sir.”

#one piece #yandere one piece #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #nico robin #sir crocodile #platonic yandere #yanderefangirl #crocodad series

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