#on top of all this i have developed a fear of anything related to college for some reason i keep having intense anxiety over everything
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cogneartive · 3 months ago
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💢💢💢💢
putting it in da read more its too long
ok right how did i fuck up my modules so fucking bad. first was that they inaccurately listed the lecture times so i thought i needed to have those extra timeslots free and so i couldnt take them BUT I COULD so now i cant take the stupid compulsory breadth. and then i tried to get one but YOU HAD TO SIGN UP FROM A STUPID. FUCKING. QR CODE ON INSTAGRAM that i missed the deadline to by a HAIR. then i was able to take modules that had clashing timeslots WHICH THEY TOLD ME I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO? and then i took modules that i did not have the prereqs for which i dont understand how i was able to like i feel like they would have prevented me? idk if im expecting too much. and now i have to wait for appeal week to drop it but now i feel like someones going to come in and call me fucking stupid for not knowing any of this. im being tortured rn i cant believe im thinking i rather go thru highschool again
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chorusfm · 15 days ago
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George Alley
Recently I was able to connect with talented pop artist, George Alley, to discuss their latest single and video for “Letgo.” This Philly-based artist collaborated with producers Ian Romer and Frank Musarra on their debut self-titled LP that is out now. In this interview, I asked George about the artistic direction of the single and its inspiration, what went into the video treatment, as well as what George Alley hopes their fans will take away from this track. George Alley is available for purchase here. What inspired the creation of “Letgo”? Are there any personal experiences or stories behind the song? I wrote “Letgo” before I even realized I was working on an album. It was sitting on my hard drive until Ian Romer, who produced the album, heard it and suggested we develop it further. Lyrically, I was inspired by the circle line on the London Underground or highways that circle cities, like in Columbus, Ohio. To me, they serve as metaphors for romantic relationships—dependable, but ultimately bringing you back to where you started. I think life often feels like that. I’ve rarely felt completely “all in” about anything—whether it’s jobs, cities, romantic relationships, or identities. But making this album is the first time I’ve felt fully committed to something. What visual aesthetic did you aim for in the video? Can you share any memorable moments from the filming process? There have been seven promotional videos for this debut album so far, and the video for “Letgo” was an opportunity to work with two of my favorite collaborators—visual artist and author (and ex-boyfriend) Dr. Philip Moore, and videographer Robert Lambert, who works out of Atlanta. Since the song has a lighthearted feel, I wanted the video to have a different aesthetic, something that stood apart from the punk-noir vibe of “Wishlist.” Philip’s collage style is influenced by Buck Rogers, Star Wars, the B-52s, and Ed Wood, which made it perfect to release the video on Halloween. When I asked Philip about it, he said: “Once we got on location at a former high school theater and discovered the amazing, heavy, lush red curtain, we knew we had to improv more with the curtain and stage. With the various performers, we were all tapping into our inner high school theater kid, just having a lot of fun dressing up and playing with movement, ideas, and plot.” What do you hope listeners take away from the single? It’s been great to see “Letgo” gain popularity! It’s somehow in my top three most-streamed songs on Spotify without any promo. We even did a live version at GroundFloor Studios in winter, which I recently posted on YouTube. The song expresses that feeling of always searching for something better, yet dreading the possibility that the next choice could be worse, or just more of the same. It’s a pretty relatable fear. I felt it when I graduated college and ended up working customer service at an insurance company while living at my parents’ house, and I still feel it today. That’s why I’m partial to the line: “I’ll get on new ground / away from this town / buried under greener grass.” --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/interviews/george-alley/
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supernaturalfreewill · 3 years ago
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(updated Oct 2024)
I DON’T MAINTAIN TAGLISTS! SORRY, LOVES! Follow and turn notifications for the blog on if you want to make sure you don’t miss anything! :)
IMPORTANT NOTE: Although I do not own the characters or specific events depicted in Supernatural, this blog contains transformative fan fiction protected under the Fair Use Act and I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION for it to be copied and pasted, posted on other platforms or accounts, shared through videos or audio or screenshots, etc. without the express written permission of myself. Sharing can be done with the ‘reblog’ button or sharing a direct link to my original work ONLY. Please ask permission to use any of my work as “inspiration” for your own fictional creations. I retain the right to refuse any requests and retain all rights to the work here under copyright 2024. 
REQUESTS ARE OPEN! Send them to my ask box. Not all requests will be fulfilled, because of, like, time and me having no control over my Muse.
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(newest on top!)
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In Dark Moments Words: 5,373 Warnings: injury, assault (no description of any sexual violence though it is implied this may be the motive for the assault), attempted abduction, angsssst, Protective!Dean Summary: Dean is happy to see he’s getting a call from you, but he can tell from the tone of your voice when he answers that something is seriously wrong.
Forward Words: 8,297 Warnings: This one shot contains content that may be triggering for some individuals. Being much more specific about all potential triggers would contain plot spoilers, but please read cautiously. Also includes alcoholism, anxiety, depression, MAJOR angst A/N: I said angst. I promised angst. You get angst. Summary: A chasm has developed between Dean and the reader and Sam is unsure if he can pull his brother out of his self-destructive cycle.
Some Days Words: 5,460 Teen!Dean x Teen!Reader Warnings: none really! Summary: On a very bad day, Dean goes out of his way to help the reader.
This Is Not A Training Exercise Sam & Dean x Sister!Reader Words: 2,892 Warnings: language Summary: The reader wakes up and thinks that Sam and Dean have thrust her into a training scenario, but when an unknown person enters the room, she starts to realize she may be in real trouble.
Rest Now Words: 5,599 Sam & Dean x Sister!Reader Warnings: death of a main character, blood, violence, graphic description, mild language, grief, major angst Summary: A hunt goes as wrong as it can.
The Booth Words: 1,385 Warnings: none Summary: Sam takes Cas and Dean to a college campus event for some unknown reason. Fluff ensues.
Shut Up and Dance Words: 4,290 Dean x Reader Warnings: none! IT’S FLUFFFFFY Summary:Y/N meets a handsome stranger at the bar at her sister’s wedding and though he says he’s related to the groom, she knows otherwise. (Also, this imagine!)
So Entirely Winchester Words: 4,647 Dean x Pregnant!Reader Warnings: I mean, like, someone is giving birth in this but it’s not super graphic… Requested by anonymous (two anons actually)! Summary: Y/N goes into labor in the middle of nowhere and Sam and Dean have to figure out how to deal with the situation.
Thunder and Lightning Words: 2,132 Dean x Reader Warnings: angst, anxiety, description of loss of family members Requested by sunkitchi (“Hi! This is my first time actually submitting a request and I was wondering if you could do a Dean x Reader oneshot where Dean finds out that Reader has an intense crippling fear of thunderstorms?”) and shesgotnoworriesintheworld (Song fic based on Safe & Sound by Taylor Swift ft. The Civil Wars).
Jubilee and Juliet Words: 5,745 Dean x Reader Summary: Sam and Dean go to visit Charlie. LARPing ensures and fluff ensues too. Warnings: none! fluffy Dean fluff!
Wood Smoke Words: 2100 Dean x Reader Warnings: none, just fluff! :) Request: Can you write something where the reader falls asleep in the back seat of the impala after a complicated case and starts sleep talking about her crush on Dean… -via anonymous
The Beginning Words: 6,718 Warnings: mild language Summary: Sam and Dean save the reader from the Leviathans and help her when she has nowhere else to go.
Morning Tea Words: 1960 Dean x Reader Warnings: none Summary: Mornings with Dean. Reader is British. A/N: Just a cute little bit of fluff with Dean.
Bronco Words: 5,675 Warnings: mild language Summary: Reader goes on a hunt alone and hides more serious injuries from Sam and Dean. She heads to Bobby’s to recover only to have the boys show up shortly after.
Car Keys and Dares Words: 2,855 Warnings: smut and language Summary: Y/N steals the Impala after a fight.
With a Side of Chips Words: 2,251 Warnings: some language, very mild violence Summary: A girl gets handsy with Dean in the bar, and Y/N deals with the situation.
Through the Dark Words: 3,226 Warnings: some language, some mildly graphic imagery Summary: You finally go on your first hunt, accompanying Sam and Dean. The experience leaves you haunted and Dean does his best to comfort you.
Spilled Whiskey Words: 2,313 Warnings: language, mild angst Summary: After not seeing each other for a long while after a case that went wrong, Y/N runs into Dean unexpectedly. Can they patch things up?
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Unexpected Words: 3,736 Warnings: sexual content Summary: Dean stays behind while Sam and Y/N head to the local bar. Suprisingly, sparks fly and what starts seemingly as a drunken hook up could be more.
The Truth About Assumptions Words: 2,287 Reader pronouns: unspecified Warnings: none! FLUFF Summary: When Y/N has to stop at home, their family begins assuming things about Sam and the reader that may be closer to the truth than they realize.
This Is Not A Training Exercise Sam & Dean x Sister!Reader Words: 2,892 Warnings: language Summary: The reader wakes up and thinks that Sam and Dean have thrust her into a training scenario, but when an unknown person enters the room, she starts to realize she may be in real trouble.
Rest Now Words: 5,599 Sam & Dean x Sister!Reader Warnings: death of a main character, blood, violence, graphic description, mild language, grief, major angst Summary: A hunt goes as wrong as it can.
Smoke and Flame Words: 2,749 Sam x Reader Warnings: language, description of anxiety/panic attack, some injuries Requests: I combined three requests for this story that were all pretty similar! 1.) Reader has an anxiety attack in the middle of a hunt and Sam calms her down and comforts her. - scarletalayne. 2.) Reader has extreme asthma attack and the boys can’t find her inhaler and must scramble to save her. -anonymous 3.) Sam comes across a girl having a panic attack in an alley and calms her down with a kiss. -anonymous
The Secret to Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies Words: 3407 Teen!Sam x Reader Warnings: none really, just fluff Summary: Y/N and Sam attend the same high school and are partnered to bake treats for a school bake sale fundraiser. Little do they know they both have mutual feelings for one another! Adorable awkward/nervous-ness occurs.
Heroes Words: 4363 Sam x Angel!Reader Warnings: none Song fic requested by anonymous - Heroes (We Could Be) - Alesso ft. Tove Lo Summary: Sam and Dean receive a cryptic request from Castiel, only to discover that the girl they’re rescuing is an angel. Sam must tell her and try to show her how this is an amazing thing.
Close Quarters Words: 1,385 Warnings: none, just some cute Sammy being awkwardly adorable fluff! Summary: Sam and Y/N end up in a tight spot.
Movie Nights Words: 3,197 Warnings: none, fluff Summary: Y/N and Sam get comfortable for a movie night!
Flowers in Your Hair Sam x Plus Size!Reader Words: 4,968 Warnings: mild language, sexy smut time with Sammy (you can skip this section if you like! It is delineated by “xx” before and after!) Summary: Y/N works in a flower shop and helps Sam out when he comes in asking about something related to a case. Y/N is plus size and a little self-conscious about it, but Sam doesn’t care at all. Things quickly heat up…
Heading Towards Trouble Words: 7,664 Warnings: smutty smut smut, mild language Summary: Sam and Dean meet Y/N, Bobby's daughter, and sparks fly between her and Sam. But what will Bobby do when he finds out?
Luckily Words: 2,185 Warnings: none, fluff! Summary: Sam convinces Y/N to go on a run with him.
I’m a Scientist, Dammit. Words: 3,121 Warnings: mild language Summary: Sam and Dean consult with a scientist on a case and Sam finds himself admiring her.
Borrowed Hope Words: 1,720 Warnings: Descriptions of self-harming behavior and mildly graphic descriptions of this Summary: Sam and Dean discover the reader self-harming. Sam talks her down and patches her up. Requested by: @scarsonbroadwayfan with Coming Down by Five Finger Death Punch
Like Bath Water Words: 1,040 Warnings: mild angst Summary: Sam tries to make things right after a fight with the reader not realizing what the impact of his actions really were.
Don't Call Me 'Sammy' Words: 1,466 Warnings: alcohol use Summary: Out for her birthday, Y/N gets drunk. Sam takes care of her and she realizes her attraction to him. Fluffy ending!
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Barriers Words: 5,496 Pairing: Cas x Jealous!Reader Warnings: none Summary: The reader feuds with Cas's new angelic girlfriend and soon she and the boys worry that something is seriously wrong. They set out to rescue Cas.
Peculiar Words: 5,136 Warnings: BEWARE OF THE FLUFF Summary: Cas doesn't quite understand the way he feels around the reader but Sam and Dean try their best to help him figure it out.
The Space Between Words: 3,843 Warnings: description of injuries, blood Summary: Y/N patches Cas up after he’s injured.
Something Blue Words: 10,495 Warnings: insinuations of sexy time, but nothing else really! Tiny bit of angst & grief. Summary: Something big is happening and Sam and Dean help Cas prepare.
Neckties Words: 4,417 Warnings: language, otherwise it’s all FLUFF! Summary: Reader learns to tie a necktie with the help of the angel.
The Worst Wake-up Call Words: 1,345 Warnings: implied sexual activity, otherwise it’s just FLUFF! Summary: Sam and Dean accidentally interrupt Y/N and Cas on the morning after...
Of Angels and Men Words: 5,765 Dad!Cas x Reader Warnings: none! Summary: Y/N and Cas are surprised and excited to hear that their son has been cast as an angel in the kindergarten school play.
How Quickly the Wind Can Change Words: 4,900 Warnings: angst, some mildly graphic descriptions, references to blood Summary: Sam, Dean, and Cas go to meet the reader but discover she's missing. Knowing she was working a case on vampires, they jump into action. Cas hears your prayer but it's abruptly cut off. They only hope they aren't too late...
Finding the Best Sleep Words: 9,312 Human!Cas x Reader Warnings: none really? probably language cuz it's meeeee Summary: Cas shows up at your door in the rain when you haven’t seen him in a long time. Based on this imagine!
Breakfast Words: 3,840 Warnings: none! Just fluff! Summary: Cas likes Y/N and is jealous of her relationship with the boys. They don’t realize at first, but when they do of course they have to use it.
When Even Heaven Isn’t Heaven Words: 1405 Warnings: none Summary: Cas appears and clings to Y/N. Problems in heaven are too much for him to bear and he feels safe, able to crumble a little in front of Y/N. Y/N gets a chance to be strong for Cas for once, and to take care of him as he always has taken care of her. Comforting fluff with cuddles and little kisses and sad Cas…
Instinct Words: 4,406 Warnings: detailed descriptions of sexual assault situation, language, violence Summary: Asshat douchebag, an old co-worker, attacks and attempts to sexually assault reader. Justice is served via Badass!Cas.
Blackbird Words: 4,926 Human!Cas x Reader Warnings: none, just fluff Summary: You’re an old friend of the Winchesters. Sam and Dean are coming through town and want to meet up for drinks. Little do you know they are actually setting you up with Human!Cas.
Look At Me Words: 4,682 Warnings: graphic imagery, grief, death of character, some language Summary: Cas has to watch the worst thing he can imagine happen.
Sister!Reader x TFW
Runs in the Family Words: 1,827 Warnings: some languageSummary: Sam and Dean meet someone unexpected when they get arrested.
Safe Words: 2,481 Warnings: Language, attempted sexual assault situation, some violence Summary: Reader's date attempts to force himself on her. Sam and Dean take revenge.
Other Characters:
Crowley Quartet Words: 2,200 Crowley x Reader Warnings: none really :) Requested by @dragonstorytelling​ Summary: Crowley suddenly is very interested in the new member of Team Free Will.
Gabriel Turning Pages Words: 5430 Gabriel x Reader Warnings: language Requested by katiesalmondxo:“Hiya could you please do a Gabriel imagines where he and Y/N always have prank wars and over time they fall in love with each other xox” and anonymous: “Can you do a one shot where the boys walk in on you sleeping on Gabriel’s lap and he’s just staring at you sleeping with so much love that the boys decided not to interrupt or get angry”! A/N: This is a nice little fluffy piece with Gabriel! 
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newest on top! *denotes ongoing series
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*Even in the Darkest Heart:  Demon!Dean x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Summary: When Dean is turned to a Knight of Hell, Y/N and Sam struggle to cope. In a ploy to gain control of him again, Crowley hatches a plan that seemingly backfires. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9
Into the Woods: Dean Winchester x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Summary: On a backcountry hiking trip, Y/N and her friend stumble on a terrifying supernatural creature. It just so happens that Dean Winchester happens to be in the area hunting it. Who will be a victim and who will be the hero? Part 1 - Into the Woods Part 2 - A Call for Back-up Part 3 - What You Can’t Wash Off - The Conclusion
A Whisper Warnings: none really, unless you’re scared of ghosts!, language Summary: Y/N encounters Sam and Dean when they bust into her house on a hunt. She’s not sure why she’s being ignored until another spirit clues her into the fact that she’s a ghost. She wants to help Dean, as she’s attracted to him, but doesn’t quite have the hang of being a Ghost yet. Part 1 Part 2
Crash Warnings: mild language Summary: Y/N borrows the Impala to run an errand but things quickly turn south. Part 1 - Crash Part 2 - Shattered Part 3 - The Way Things Are & Will Be Part 4 - Las Cruces Part 5 - Something Wicked This Way Comes Part 6 - A Step Towards the End Part 7 - All Too Familiar Part 8 - Wreckage Part 9 - Numb Part 10 - Deliverance Part 11 - The Other Side Part 12 - Risen
Too Fast (on hiatus) Warning: some language Summary: You meet Dean when you are both in the hospital and feel a connection to the handsome stranger, knowing nothing about what he does for a living. Part 1
Find the Light Summary: Sam and Dean discover Y/N as a victim of a Djinn. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 - The Conclusion
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The Wrong Bed: Warnings: language, angst, cheating (not Sam or reader) Reader pronouns: she/her Summary: Sam is dating Y/N's sister and comes to the realization that perhaps he's with the entirely wrong person... Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4   Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10   Part 11 (The Conclusion)
Mess Is Mine: Sam Winchester x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Summary: Sam and Dean take a chance on a strange occurrence they see in a newspaper. It quickly turns into something much bigger when terrifying things begin happening around the reader. Part 1 - The Wolf On Your Doorstep Part 2 - The Person in the Pitch Part 3 - The Blood in the Bathtub Part 4 - The Ravens on the Windowsill Part 5 - The Truth in the Tales Part 6 - The Shoe in the Suitcase Part 7 - The Voices in the Vision Part 8 - The Bench and the Boy Part 9 - The Home in the Hide-out Part 10 - The Chains in the Cold Part 11 - The Head in the Halo Part 12 - The Truth in the Nightmare Part 13 - The Wicked in the Witch Part 14 - The Blood in the Bunker Part 15 - The Wall and the Water Part 16 - The Fear and the Fire Part 17 - The Beginning in the End - The Conclusion
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In Our Time Words: 3,191 Summary: Y/N is inexplicably zapped into the year 2018 by Zachariah. She finds that things between her and Cas are not what she expected them to be… something seems to have happened and 2018!Y/N is nowhere to be found. Part 1 - Awake Part 2 - Eyes Wide Open Part 3 - Eyes Wide Shut Part 4 - Blackout Part 5 - When the Devil Calls Part 6 - Lucifer's Play Part 7 - After Effects Part 8 - Bad Things Happen in Threes Part 9 - When You Know Tomorrow
To Go Words: 3,833 Warning: contains dangerously adorable angel fluff Summary: You're intrigued by the blue-eyed stranger who always comes in to the diner where you waitress. Part 1 Part 2
Other Characters
Gabriel *Guardian: Part 1 Benny Fangs and First Impressions: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (Conclusion)
Special Features Tips for Starting an Imagine/One Shot Blog - as told by me! My Supernatural Pick-up Lines (you know, for those special moments) Riptide Acoustic Guitar Cover Sealed with a Kiss (Valentine’s Day with TFW! Choose an ending!) Have Yourself A Frosty Little New Years (TFW w/ choose an ending)
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petruchio · 3 years ago
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hi caroline, i hope this is okay to ask, but could you talk a little bit about your "post-graduation, getting a job" journey? i also majored in literature, and graduated last fall. i wasn't actively job searching bc i planned to go to grad school, but when i didn't get in anywhere this spring, suddenly plans have shifted into Getting A Job ASAP Is The Top And Only Priority ;~; i'm almost at the point where i'm starting to regret getting a humanities degree, and wondering why past me didn't major in something more practical and lucrative, like engineering. from one lit major to another, how did you overcome this feeling of fear of being unemployable? or maybe you didn't have it all? i'd be grateful for any insight you had!! ~ sincerely, a very scared literature major
oh yeah of course!! i think ive answered a few similar questions, but i can't find them at the moment -- if i do i will come back and link them here as well, but im so happy to talk about it!! also here’s my job search tag though it’s mostly just me being insane -- it’s probably not that helpful. but let me do my best to give some helpful advice.
one thing i think is important to remember about getting a job with a less straightforward degree is that you don’t *have* to get a job in what your degree is in. like i don’t work in books or literature at all. my job is barely related to my degree and i kind of just stumbled into it (there is a lot of luck involved!) and now i'm just trying to do my best? i figure it will lead me to the next thing, and that will lead me to the next, and eventually ill find my place. while i do have my weekly existential crises, i am actually pretty chill about my career because i am only 22 and i know i don’t know anything at all yet, so how am i supposed to know what my career calling is? i say this just to say basically don’t pressure yourself to be like, the foremost editor at a top publishing house or a prize-winning journalist right out of college. (great if you are!! but it’s not a requirement.) like if you’re not interested in doing journalism (i wasn’t, personally) don’t feel pressured to do it. there’s nothing commanding you write articles just because you have a literature degree.
one thing to ask yourself -- what have you done that you enjoyed? i had a student internship doing comms work that i enjoyed, so i put that on my resume and searched for jobs with similar tasks. it doesn’t have to have been an amazing internship at a famous top company where you were the star intern for the entire year. but did you do research with a professor? work somewhere on campus? write for the school newspaper? was there one class where you really excelled? those are all great things to put on your post grad resume and use them in interviews! hiring managers KNOW you were a student. they’re not expecting you to have a fully developed resume yet! they want to know what you’re good at — your experiences so far will take you farther than you are probably currently thinking they will.
my other best advice is DO INFORMATIONAL INTERVIEWS. these literally saved my life. for the record, yes they are terrifying and yes they are super awkward. but i think they are the best thing you can do while job searching, especially as a new grad. reach out to alums on linkedin (bonus points if you have the same major!) and ask your college career center if they have a way to connect you with other alums. send them a cold message saying basically this:
"Hi (name)! I am a new graduate from/current student in X major at X university, and I am currently exploring my career options for after graduation. (Sentence saying we have xyz in common, major, university, career goal). I saw your profile, and I really admire your career path. I was wondering if you had (10, 20, 30) minutes for a quick phone call or Zoom chat to talk more about your experience in the industry? Thank you so much!"
you will be surprised by how many people will take you up on this!! and in those, i would ask basically — “can you tell me a bit about your career path” “what led you to your current position” “do you have any suggestions what titles to look for as entry level job in your field?” and things like that. (that last one helps a lot — you have never worked in the career world before! there is probably a job title you don’t even know exists that is an entry level role in a field that appeals to you.) they will do most of the talking -- just take good notes and ask thoughtful questions and you are golden :)
the great thing about informational interviews is that not only can you make great connections and get really helpful advice, but it also gives you good practice with the language and conversational style of people in the career sphere. you have been a student up until now -- and that’s fine! but talking to people who are established in their career can help you focus your own interview skills, literally just by listening to them talk and hearing how they talk about their role. it helped me TON in interviews to just have that language, because as a student, it just wasn’t something i was familiar with. it’s good, low stakes practice for improving your job interviews once you get to that stage.
my last piece of advice with these interviews is don’t go in expecting them to offer you a job -- that basically never happens. BUT! sometimes they will tell you what to search for! sometimes they will hook you up with a recruiter! sometimes they will tell you that this career path sucks and not to pursue it under any circumstances! all of those are great outcomes and you will learn something you didn’t know before. the great thing about informational interviews is that they are INFORMATIONAL -- and getting that information is a really good first step, especially if you didn’t do a lot of career prep work during undergrad (i know i didn’t 🤪)
also just know that job hunting SUCKS. it’s demoralizing, it’s depressing, it can make you feel really bad about yourself. there’s no good way around it, and i wish it wasn’t like that, but i think acknowledging that can be good just so you don’t feel like you’re drowning and that you’re the only one going through it. it sucks. im sorry. having a job also sucks. everyone goes through it. that’s just… life i guess.
but also remember that you are not your job or your career. you are a whole person with passions and talents and drive that have no connection to whatever it is that you will end up doing for work. don’t let it get you down too much. it will all work out. everything will be fine. you are smart, you are talented, and most of all, you are loved by so many people who couldn’t care less what you do for a job. me included!! if you’re reading this -- i love you! and im super proud of you. you graduated. that’s a huge accomplishment. now go kick some job searching butt!! and negotiate your salary. always negotiate your salary ;)
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lexosaurus · 3 years ago
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Going Angst Week 2021: Birth
I wrote a short five part fic for this year’s Going Angst Week! Fair warning as the event suggests, no one in this fic will make it out on top.
Chapter One: Birth
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“Don’t think of it as a death, think of it as a sort of rebirth.”
That’s what Vlad had told him anyhow, after he discovered who—or rather what—Danny was at their college reunion. 
“Who were you before this? A nobody, right? Just some little hormonal fourteen year old from the weirdo family, unpopular and bullied. No real hobbies or activities to speak of, aside from…” Vlad’s red eyes pierced down at him. “Video games, am I correct?”
Danny diverted his gaze to the floor. Vlad’s aura only increased in amusement.
“But now,” the ghost continued. “Now you’re something else. Something different, more powerful. The world is your oyster, and all you have to do is reach down and take it.”
“I don’t know,” Danny finally spoke up. He had been hoping that speaking to the older halfa would begin to patch things up between them, but so far every word out of Vlad’s mouth seemed coated in poison.
He knew that deep down he shouldn’t trust a damn word Plasmius said, but Vlad was the only person in the world who he could relate to. And according to the Vlad, there was no one else like them in the Ghost Zone either.
“What is there to be afraid of, Little Badger? You’re a half ghost, you can do whatever it is that you want and nobody, nobody can stop you.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid.” Lies, lies, all lies. “It just doesn’t seem right, is all.”
Plasmius leaned down, forcing Danny’s eyes to meet his. He grinned, bearing his fangs at the boy, as if he could see through all the fear that Danny was desperate to mask.
“Oh Daniel,” Vlad said. “Your parents will never accept you. No good you do in your ghost form could ever convince them that ghosts aren’t all evil, that some are good, that you are good. Don’t you see?”
“No, you’re wrong. My parents will accept me. I just have to—”
“Oh, will they?” Vlad laughed. “Your parents? The same ones who’ve dedicated their careers, their lives to developing ecto-weaponry meant to kill our kind? The people who have written countless academic papers as to the dangers of ecto-life on Earth?”
“If I can show them that we’re not all bad, then maybe they’ll see.”
“Ah, so I bet that explains why you haven’t told them about what really happened in the lab, right? You just wanted to wait for the ‘right time’ to tell them. Foolish boy, don’t you know?” Vlad’s cocky tone died down, as did the power of his aura. In the first moment of sincerity Danny had witnessed from the older man, he turned to Danny and warned, “Your parents are too blinded by their ignorance to ever see the truth.”
---
Danny had been alone the day of the accident. He wasn’t sure why he did it, why he strapped on the hazmat suit (not before ripping off the Jack sticker), why he stepped in the portal, why he tried to figure out how to turn it on. Was it boredom? Teenage rebellion? Curiosity?
But delving into his reasoning was too little too late. Because the moment he tripped over the wire and hit the misplaced power switch, his life ended.
Literally.
Dying hurt. It was terrifying, waking up as something else entirely, and passing out all over again.
At first, he could almost pretend that he was okay. But then he woke up the next morning and felt like he’d been hit by a truck.
And then he fell through his bed, hitting the wood floor below his bed frame.
And then he dragged himself out and saw the extensive scarring on his arm.
And then he knew. That what had happened in the lab wasn’t just a fluke, that whatever the portal did had changed him forever.
That he wasn’t okay.
Still, he tried to carry on as normal. Eventually, the lightning scars snaking across his arm faded (even though they remained when he transformed), and the aching of his muscles subsided (but the coolness in his chest never went away), and his relative anonymity at his school meant that people hardly noticed a change in him (even though his two best friends seemed to hover more now than before).
Everything was going to be normal. Even if he wasn’t okay anymore. Even if he wasn’t human, even if he was...some monster.
What even was he?
“Danny?” Sam poked his shoulder. “Hey, space case? You haven’t touched your food. Are you okay?”
The world snapped into focus, and he realized that he was in the cafeteria at school with his untouched lunch tray splayed out in front of him. He couldn’t even remember getting out of bed this morning, much less making it all the way till lunch.
Regardless, he picked the cardboard excuse for pizza from his tray and took a bite, chewing slowly, and tried not to choke as he forced the food down his parched throat.
“I’m fine,” he said.
He’d been saying that a lot lately.
“We’ve been trying not to pry, but…” Sam looked helplessly at Tucker. “Danny, is...is something going on with you? You’ve just seemed off lately.”
“No, nothing happened. I’m fine.”
“You sure dude?” Tucker asked.
Danny set his school-issued pizza back down on his tray. “Guys, seriously. I’m your best friend. If anything happened, I promise you’d be the first to know. I’ve just been stressed about school, it’s nothing.”
Sam and Tucker exchanged a glance, evidently not looking too convinced. Regardless, Sam gave him her best fake smile and a, “If you say so. Just know we’re here if you wanna talk.”
But he didn’t want to talk. They were human, he...wasn’t. They wouldn’t get it. They’d think he was a freak, they’d stop talking to him, they’d tell Jazz who would tell his parents who would kill him trying to save him.
No one could help him.
They finished lunch in silence, and then it was back to class where Danny managed to fall out of his chair twice and drop his pencil too many times to count. In biology class a glass microscope plate flew past his fingers, shattering against the tiled floor, and in English class when Lancer handed him papers to pass out he dropped those too, sending them scattered along the ground.
He saw the way Lancer peered at him as he stumbled to the ground, hands shaking as he desperately tried to grab the papers while everyone laughed at him. He felt cold—he was always cold since the accident—and he was sure that he looked just as much of a mess as he felt.
Mr. Lancer sent him down to the nurses office after that.
But he couldn’t go to the nurse because his heart rate was slower than a human’s and he didn’t need to breathe as much and he was so cold.
And he was fine.
So he took the hall pass and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the class period.
“Think of it as a rebirth,” Vlad had told him. 
Except Vlad was wrong. Danny wasn’t stronger now, he wasn’t more powerful. In fact, Danny Fenton had never felt more powerless, lost, and alone in his entire life.
If this was the start of a new life, then he was terrified to see what would follow.
---
next chapter>
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femmesandhoney · 3 years ago
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I'm a writer who's working on a YA story that focuses on an all-girls magical academy and I wanted to add a couple that consists of a bisexual girl and a lesbian. I'm bisexual so I know the kind of bisexual representation I would've wanted as a teen but I was wondering if you and other lesbians would be willing to share what you would've wanted to see in your media as a teenager. I'd also love to hear from other bisexual girls because I know experience as a bisexual girl is different from other bisexual girls and I want my story to resonate with them, too.
Hello! Love seeing fellow writers. I will be speaking as a lesbian who isn't really traditionally butch or femme. I lean more femme sometimes, but I'm pretty lax in terms of much I fit either of those lesbian identities. So yeah lol. I'm sure butches would love more rep. I know many women who are "like" me in terms of fashion in media, such as miss Leah Rilke who I was talking about a few posts about (though she's actually bisexual rep lmao for the bi girlies out there). But like in terms of personality and fashion identity, I as a lesbian am similar to that and so I do see that aspect of myself more often than what butch lesbians see for example. So if any butches or masc lesbians especially want to reblog or comment what they want from their rep, please add it for this anon.
In terms of actually relationships or lesbian identity in and of itself, oh my godddd high school was hell sometimes. I was friends with a lot of straight women since I honestly didn't know many lesbians. The only one I did know didn't come out until college, so she actually had a boyfriend for many years in high school. It felt really lonely. I def would have loved to see lesbian rep that showed girls actually doing a lot of traditional high school activities and being supported by their friends, I guess? Cause there was a lot of stuff I def missed out on because of being the only lesbian in my age range that I knew. I'm not really sure what else to say haha, if the character is well-written I'm sure people will relate to them. I'm not a fan of basing an entire character solely around their sexuality or relationship. Who are you characters outside of their sexuality or relationship? Once you get that, then you can begin layering in how their sexuality and lived experiences with it can affect their personality, relationships, etc. I think a great example of this off the top of my head is Shelby from The Wilds. You have this optimistic sweetheart beauty queen. One layer. She's from Texas. Second layer. Her parents are heavily religious. Third layer. She is a lesbian. Now how does this layer interact with all the other layers? Do they cause conflict? Is her family supportive or not? How do people view her based on her first glance traits and how does she think of herself based on everything just said? Shelby's a relatable character because she's all these things at once and you can see how her sexuality affects her life and experiences, but her development is deeper than just realizing she's a lesbian or being in a relationship with Toni for example. It's a lot of self growth, dissonance, fear, and confusion. You can empathize with her because you understand how everything's coming together to form Shelby.
So yeah, I guess start with a foundation and then build around it and under it and over it and eventually you'll create a uniquely complex character. If anything, the basis of growing up a lesbian since it's literally the smallest minority of the LGB community is recognizing how little we meet other lesbians and how lonely it can feel. Constantly hearing women talk about men is literally the most tiring thing. Constantly being viewed as if we're never gonna get into a relationship, date, or marry because we don't express attraction to men (heteronormativity) is something I dealt with and it really hurt me to be viewed as a person that will remain alone forever bc I didn't participate in their het culture. Those are some of their bigger things I dealt with in high school from friends. The panic of not knowing if women are flirting you with is something I stereotypically experience lol. But I'm sure other lesbians would relate to women who are more flirtatious and confident with their sexuality.
This is basically how I view myself. I experienced a lot of formative experiences as a child that made me really internalize my anxiety about being a lesbian because of how the adults around me spoke about it. I think that played a large role in why it took me so long to realize I was a lesbian. I don't view myself necessarily as a lesbian with a bunch of things extending from this like a word cloud lol. I just think it's impacted parts of my life in very complex ways. I want to see two women deeply in love and happy. But i'm also a huge fan of dark media and would love to see lesbians in horror and extremely morally grey or just plain evil at the same time. Like I just want to see all the possible stories that lesbian women can be a part of like anyone else.
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kojinnie · 4 years ago
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AOT Characters’ Modern Jobs Headcanon; The Vets Edition!
The jobs that The Vets would have in modern!au, their workplace antics and their back story. There might be some inaccuracies when describing the job as obviously I don’t work at these industries to know its intricacies. Most of the jobs are office jobs. Enjoyyyy!
My Masterlist .::. Pt. II: Zeke Yeager’s Modern Jobs Headcanon   
Most recent work: Dream Me Home (Before Shiganshina) | reader x erwin smith
A/N: I really need to finish a presentation deck due tonight for an early morning meeting tomorrow but of course, this comes first hahaha 
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erwin!
A/N: Basically lawyer!erwin is the way to go, innit?
He's in his 40s, so he may have a settled career
He came from a white-collar, middle-class family. So he wasn’t silverspoon-fed, but his parents had enough money to put him through good school
Got a scholarship to go to one of the nation’s finest law schools
Kept it lowkey in college’s social circle, graduated with summa cum laude, developed a strong academic relation with his professor, and got recommended for an internship at top law firm at the capital city
Starting his career as a corporate lawyer, but then built his expertise as white-collar crime attorney
In his early 30s, he represented a union suing against conglomerate corporation in a big case that had national coverage, from then on he began to know his calling
Expanding his portfolio and became well-known for defending workers, consumers and civilians against corporate fraud scheme
Currently doing a lot of pro-bono cases for deprived victims of big corporate fraud. You would see him frequently gracing your local newspaper we love us some socialist king
On the side, he often writes for law journal and fills in as guest professor at local universities for summer courses
Established his own law firm with some of his partners, specializing in white collar crime and labor & employment law
He’s damn accomplished, but never really had any time for self-indulgence. Even after he becomes a household name in the country, with tens of attorneys working under him, his employees would still see him working on New Year’s Eve
He was always attentive to his employees, though. Although he has a very strict, borderline no-life work ethics, he never forces his employees to follow his habit, in fact he despises when his employees works on holidays and can be seen blaming himself for it a bit of a hypocrite but thats ok
He still takes metro to work. He prefers a very lowkey, ordinary lifestyle because he fears if he shows any knack for indulgence, he will be susceptible to gratification from potential enemies or crooked politicians
Definitely a sight to see at the workplace, for he's tall and always oozes a sense of authority in the way he speaks and carries himself generally
His emotional intelligence is top-notch, you would never meet someone who is able to be very objective and calculating, while being kind and compassionate at the same time
His fellow attorneys put a lot for respect for him, and hundreds of applicants come to his considerably small firm every week, because a lot of aspiring attorney find him inspiring to work with
He wasn’t oblivious to his shiny reputation, but he’s trying his hardest to not let the compliments get to his head. Sometimes he doesn’t give himself enough credit for it
Was approached by one of the political party’s committee to run for local senate, but turned it down
basically he’s perfect if you like a man who’s never home for christmas
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Hange!
A/N: Ok ok, I really wanna see Paleontologist!Hange because it has always been my fave dream job, but I want Hange to be out and about with people so here it is
Hange is the type to be incredibly good at one thing, that she will dedicate her whole life for that pursuit, but will be awfully oblivious to a whole lot of things (not intentional of course, they just have a very limited attention span) (they wouldn’t know who kanye west is or what tiktok is)
Like Erwin, they came from a middle-class family. While Erwin’s parents might have been teachers, accountants or other common profession, Hange came from a family of academician and researchers
Hange studied Human Geography at uni, but later found passion specifically in its relation to industrialization and urban development
Hange aims to advocate for a better living condition for workforce, and nearby inhabitants of industrialized city detroit would be a beautiful city if only they let hange designed it
Hange is a professor at university, where they also led a non-profit research think-thank that also serves as pressure group for better government policy.
The university that Hange teaches in, is also the uni where Erwin teaches in summer. They’re close-knitted colleagues as they share similar passion. Erwin relies on Hange a lot for some intellectual insights to help his cases  
Hange is relentless in their cause, you may find Hange everywhere! From street protest to a hearing in the government court. They are passionate and will do anything for the cause they believe in
Hange was once hired by the government as an independent consultant for a new housing project, but left because they grew to be frustrated by the government’s bureaucracy and their outward reluctance to follow Hange's recommendation
Hange spends a lot of time overseas, consulting and advocating development in newly industrialized countries
On Hange’s birthday, her fellow researchers surprised them with a ‘pampering day’ where they took them to an optometrist because Hange had been complaining about their eyesight for a YEAR that gave them a lot of migraines, but was always either too busy or too lazy to go
Hange never really considers themselves as working, because they enjoy their job very much. Hange likes to spend months observing a community, talking to people for hours, and trying their best in understanding their problem
Out of so many great qualities that Hange has as a researcher that meets different set of people everyday, prejudice or preconceived judgment is completely absent in Hange’s demeanor and perspective
Hange doesn’t get a lot of free-time, even if they do, they’d wander around the city to do a little observation. But when the weather’s bad and they’re stuck at home with their pet lizard, they would logged into Quora to answer random internet questions
They’re an avid writer for National Geographic, and one time Hange won a pitch to make a documentary about an industrial city project they were working on
After the docu-series got broadcasted, Hange gained a small but passionate and loyal fans on the internet. You could even find a subreddit dedicated for Hange’s works
for real I want to be Hange. I want to have that kind of passion in life
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levi!
A/N: I spent a lot of times thinking about Levi’s job in modern!au. Because here’s the thing, either we adopt his unfortunate childhood into its modern!au equivalent, or let’s just recreate his whole upbringing. But I think his personality stems from a specific things he experienced during childhood, so let’s not dismiss that.
Levi came from a struggling working class family. I reckon his parents might have had worked multiple jobs to sustain their living expense. Unfortunately they both passed away when Levi was very little, and left little to no inheritance
Levi’s parents were not close to their extended family, so when they died, Levi was admitted to the system and had to brace several foster families who didn’t really pay attention to him
Little Levi had come to realize that life’s all about survival and so he had been able to fend on for himself since very young age, he never asked for things
His uncle, Kenny, finally won custody over Levi when he was in elementary. Kenny made money from small-scale racketeering here and there. Levi never asked what he did for living, as long as he got food to eat and tuition paid off
Kenny was emotionally absent, but he loved spending time with the oddly quiet little child, teaching him a lot of crafts, from carpentering to how to flay pig’s skin
Levi didn’t really care about getting into college, and thought that he’d probably end up working for his uncle, so he put his bare minimum throughout school, although he was really good with numbers, especially in math, accounting and finance
One time in high school, Levi’s teacher asked him to sign up for the olympiad team, Levi turned it down because he thought that was a rich kid thing
He didn’t even apply for college, and worked odd jobs after high school. Probably working as cashiers or assistant to retail shop’s owner for couple of years, enough for him to afford a cheap studio apartment on his own
One of his bosses came to acknowledge Levi’s talent, and trusted him to handle the company’s accounting
By sheer luck, the company hit it big, and Levi found himself running the day-to-day accounting of mid-sized business with over 300 employees
He made good money already without a college degree, but with a new-found confidence Levi applied for uni, where he chose to study accounting (of course)
Although he was confident with his skills, he understood he needed to widen his horizon and network -- thus uni
Levi was one of the oldest members of his cohort in uni, but graduated with highest distinction
After graduating, with his skills and experience, it wasn’t hard for Levi to score a job at top accounting firm
There, he discovered an interest for forensic accounting, where through audits, analysis and investigation, he basically finds out if a company is doing fraud and embezzlement or not
This is where he came to know and get acquainted with Erwin and Hange (yippie they’re together again)
The firm he works for was assigned to investigate the finances of a troublesome company that had been sued by its workers for a jeopardizing working condition. Erwin was on the case, and Levi helped him with evidences for legal proceeding.
By chance, Erwin introduced Levi to Hange. At first, Levi would find Hange annoying and overtly energized, but after learning the things they have done, Levi grew to appreciate Hange’s passion (and secretly wants to have more of his positive outlook)
Levi is fucking good his job. In short amount of time, he could get a really ideal position in the office. He was almost foolproof, finding even the tiniest bit of discrepancy in his audit. He’d get assigned to the big league case/project.
Although really good at his job, he’s not a social person, especially in his office. He couldn’t understand the lavish lifestyle that finance and banking people often lead. He will only show up to office party if it is really necessary for him to show up (usually to receive some kind of informal awards for, again, being so fucking good) 
He leads a no-bullshit attitude at the office, largely because of his background. He is a self-made man, and is not easy to impress by some young executives from posh school that talk bigger than they can chew
His cold, seemingly dismissive attitude gained him a reputation of being scary, when actually he is very considerate
One of the things he enjoys doing is to actually teach, he really likes when a new kid at the office come to him with none of that pretentious, big talk, and really asks for his guidance. He would love to teach you a thing or two
He would frequently check on his mentee, just to keep up with their development
And he doesn’t take credit too. When his mentee makes a milestone, he believes it’s 100% your work
If you’re his mentee, he probably doesn’t give a crap about your personal life, so don’t expect him to make small talk about that (and don’t ask him about his personal life either). But he really cares about your skill and career development
Same with Erwin, he leads a very ordinary lifestyle. He doesn’t go out often and would rather reading detective novel with his cat on the couch
He likes to spend Sunday at Uncle Kenny’s house, because he finds himself worried about the old man very often. They became close as Levi grew
Overall, Levi is a really kind and caring person if you know how not to push his button
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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years ago
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What I Thought About “Separate Tides” from The Owl House
Salutations, random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.
...>A-hem< F**KING CALLED IT!
I said that the earliest that The Owl House would return would be late June and early July. And some of YYYOOOUUU sons of witches doubted me by saying it would be fall or winter. Well, guess what! "Separate Tides'' has come and gone, the show is back and better than ever, and we are all happy about it! You see how it pays to be optimistic, you persistent PACK OF PESSIMISTS!
...Sorry. Got a little hot there. I'm just so happy it's BACK!
10 MONTHS! It's been nearly 10 months since this show began its hiatus, large in part because of the pandemic. It was painful. BOY, was it painful. But I can already tell that the new season is going to be well worth the wait just by this episode alone.
But beware you mangey sea dogs! Thar be spoilers ahead when discussing such a premier.
And I swear to you that it's only spoilers for "Separate Tides." I haven't seen "Escaping Expulsion" either, and I promise you will be safe from anybody ruining it for you. But maybe don't read any responses from this post. Thar may be d**ks in these waters. So let's review, shall we!
WHAT I LIKE
Mirroring Season One’s Opening Scene: First off, this is a neat callback to what is the perfect first impression of the series. That scene perfectly introduces us to the type of show The Owl House is, while this one acts as a reintroduction to the world we left for way too long.
Second, this is also a well-hidden character moment. Luz is finally living the life she dreamed of, but it isn't exactly all that she expected. It's a great showcase that despite literally running away to a fantasy world, Luz is still getting a regular dose of reality. And I still love the irony in all of that.
(Plus, King eating the bounty is just funny).
The Recap Recording: This is a smart way to recap events from the season finale. It might be weird that Luz says things that the audience already knows, but she's not talking to us. She's talking to her mom. So she's going to explain all that she can in a way for Camila to fully understand. Besides, not every fan had repeatedly watched The Owl House Season One over and over again like a bunch of frickin' lunatics...You know who you are.
Plus, as an upside, Luz gets to explain new events and concepts for how she and the rest of the Owl House are making a living. In no way does it feel like forced exposition because, again, she's trying to describe as much as she can to her mother. It's a reasonable and natural way to talk to the audience in order to catch them up while also showing what's been happening since we've last left this show.
Luz Can’t Send Texts to Her Mom: ...Well, Texts to Home, it was fun while it lasted, but the current canon has decided that you're done. I'll miss you and appreciate all that you've done for me, but, yeah, this is the end. Sorry.
Alright, now that I got my jokes out of the way, allow me to explain how this is really a heartbreaking moment. Because the fact that Luz is forever cut off from her mother, even through texts, is an idea that just twists the knife in your heart when you really sit down to think about it. Luz's little goodbye at the end of her video does nothing but makes it worse.
On the upside, we get some solid character development as Luz doesn't even hesitate to send the video to Camila, learning her lesson from "Enchanted Grom Fright" about being more honest. She finally faced her fear, even if it was a fruitless effort.
They’re Doing Odd Jobs Now: This is a smart workaround for how the Owl House residents are making money. Some fans guessed that maybe Eda had so much junk piled up that they wouldn’t worry, but this seems more of a logical direction. Even if Eda had enough garbage to sell, she’ll can and will eventually run out at some point, meaning that they will all have to take the odd jobs anyway. So I appreciate the writers used that plot point sooner rather than later, as a fun romp as bounty hunters is something you want to do early in the season instead of later on. Especially with how Dana Terrace confirmed that s**t’s gonna go down in the future.
Lilith: ...I'm still willing to hold off--What the f**k did I say his name was? *looks up past review* Frederick Ulis--Frederick Ulisinsburg!
I am willing to hold off Frederick Ulisinsburg, for now, because Lilith is...sort of on the right track. I mean, I don't like how quick she was to playfully mock Eda or rudely yell at Hooty. But I do think that there is potential for her character. She feels genuine guilt for what she's done, and there's a chance that the new season will explore that further if the writers are smart (which they are). On top of that, there's a possibility that every time Lilith tries to act cocky or full of herself, she will be treated as a proverbial punching bag because of it. Like how her poster got burned down after boasting how impressive she looks. Or how Golden Guard's poster magically sealed itself to her face when Lilith tried to throw it away. It's the latter that primarily got me cackling like a madman due to how deservingly hilarious it was.
And, well...she happily clapped like a schoolgirl! Which was adorable! I can't hate characters who have the potential to be adorable! It's not in my nature!
So, while I am a little hesitant in liking her, I think there's a chance for improvement in her character in the future that I look forward to. We just have to wait and see if the writers pull it off.
(By the way, to the person that came up with Lilith wearing a "battery low" shirt...you're a genius in visual gags/storytelling.)
Greg’s List: Have I ever mentioned that this show is funny?
Who's Greg? Why does he organize a list of perfect bounties?
I don't know, but the idea of some random person in the Boiling Isles is putting it on himself to set up a list to make bounties...I'm sorry, but that's funny to me. It's also probably for how Craig's List was made, but when you really think about it, Craig's List is a funny idea as well.
Eda Isn’t Feared Anymore: I sort of guessed that this would happen, but seeing it is a whole different level of sympathy to feel for the character. Eda's main schtick was being the most powerful witch on the Isles, and that's gone now. She's forced to adapt to this new normal, which she's quick to do, but still. Tt's got to be a rough kick to the ego now that no one even cares about who she is anymore.
It's a low moment for her character that hopefully sets up her own arc for the rest of the season.
Luz Feels Like She’s a Burden: I will demolish her with love and kindness if she even CONSIDERS talking so poorly about herself again! Because Luz is not a burden. She is a beam of light that literally brightens up the lives of nearly everyone she meets. Eda already explains how her life is better because of Luz (through a heart-tugging speech that almost got to me, by the way), but it's not just Eda.
King now has his first real friend who admires him and treats him like the king he wants to be.
Willow has become much more confident and cheerful because Luz was always in her corner.
Gus learns more about the humans he appreciates with his whole heart while also having a friend that treats him like an equal rather than a kid.
And do I even have to say ANYTHING about Amity?
The Boiling Isles wouldn't be better off without Luz. It's better because of her. And shame on this girl for thinking otherwise...even though I fully understand where she's coming from.
I'm about to get personal for a second, so strap in. Because I am a twenty-somthing-year-old who is currently living with his mom. It's as pathetic as it sounds. But it's because I'm still attending college, and she says school comes first and jobs and apartments come second. Despite that, I feel like trash for just...living here as she still takes care of me and pays for the food I can't afford. She says that I shouldn't worry about it, but I still wait for the day I can finally pay her back for everything. Not some things, but everything. And that's Luz's mentality in this episode. The overwhelming guilt she's feeling for thinking she's inconveniencing Eda's life is something that hits really hard for me. It doesn't matter if it's true, but that she believes it's true. It's a heartbreaking character arc she's forced into for this episode that also adds more to why she's one of the many characters I heavily relate to.
Lulu and Hootstipher: Whoever thought of this idea...I f**king love you.
This is similar to when Noah and Owen became friends in Total Drama World Tour. Seemingly one-sided at first, you see a cute friendship that you would have never expected, but it works! Hooty is this happy and naive character who hardly understands what's going on half the time, and Lilith is...Lilith. Their chemistry is instantly fun as their dynamic is quick to understand.
This also shines with potential for character growth, for it could give Lilith a chance to be more caring and Hooty a chance to be more than just the comic relief. If you were to tell me that this is what was going to happen when the season premiered, I would have thought you were crazy. But now, after seeing it in action, I'm genuinely excited to see where this cute friendship between these two goes.
(As long as it doesn't involve fans shipping them. Because Hooty can do better)
Luz Getting Better with Her Magic: Our little bisexual princess is growing up! And, man, is it awesome to see. Luz going from just barely knowing how to do magic to full-on using her spells like second nature just warms my heart with all the character growth it presents. Now, some people might want an explanation for how she's able to do said spells, to which I say: "Who the f**k cares?"
If you ask me, Luz's magic is one of those things that doesn't need a direct answer because it doesn't matter as much. But if you're going to be a baby about it, here's what I can offer: As far as I can tell, it's equal parts having the glyph and mentally picturing what the spell should do. It's much like how Willow draws a spell circle and can either make giant jungle vines or a patch of flowers to land on. Luz's glyphs are her own spell circles. As long as she concentrates hard enough, she can make the glyph do whatever she wants it to.
There. You have your explanation. Now let's just all appreciate the fact that Luz can now throw fireballs and make vine whips like the superpowered teenager she most likely fantasized of being. Ok? Ok.
A Pirate Losing His Head...Literally: ...And I'm gonna go ahead and add that to the list.
I mean, for f**k's sake, WE SEE BONE! He puts his head back on, but we still see the bone!
Eda in a Pirate Outfit: ...That is all.
The Golden Guard: This guy shows up for only a few minutes, and I'm already beginning to like him. He seems just as threatening as Belos while also coming across as a guy who loves his job and being a ton of fun to watch because of it. I adore villains that find that balance of being funny and terrifying. The result is a character who makes me laugh on top of making me scared of what they could do to our protagonists. So far, that's the Golden Guard in a nutshell, and I can't wait to see what the rest of the season has in store with him. Whether it involves seeing him play with food as he did with Eda and Luz in this episode or seeing him getting kicked in the crotch like a little punk like him deserves, I am all for it.
(Bonus points if it's Amity who does the crotch kicking if he ever makes an advancement on Luz)
Eda Wanting to Protect the Selkidomus: I love this. It plays into the idea that Eda cares about things being wild and free and despises how Emperor Belos would want to control everything, including the most insignificant of animals. It shows just how kind Eda really is rather than someone motivated by greed...even if she does end up filthy rich in the end.
Emperor Belos’ Brief Cameo: Yup, still terrifying!
And if it turns out that Belos can see the Scrying Potion that Lilith made...we're going to have some problems.
Much like the actual problems that I have with this episode!
(Like that transition?)
WHAT I DISLIKE
King Being Stupid: King has two different personalities in this series. Either he's a pathetic wannabe ruler who seems intelligent or an idiotic Disney comedic sidekick. That latter version of King is what we get in "Separate Tides," and I don't like it (obviously). I don't care how cute it is to see him cling onto Luz's leg and exclaim how he won't let her leave. The same character who helped Luz break into a prison to save Eda shouldn't be the same one who falls asleep when a sheet covers him like a dumbass parrot! King's at his best when he's as intelligent as the rest of the characters. And not as dumb as someone like Hooty.
Eda Being Too Nice Around Lilith: This one bothers me the most. After being cursed for thirty years and having her life ruined by the person she thought she could trust the most, Eda is still all smiley and jokey when talking to Lilith. Yeah, sorry, but I don't buy that. No one in their right mind would be that cool with a person who did all of what Lilith did. It's a major misstep that squanders what could have been a fantastic overarching story of Eda learning to forgive her sister and Lilith trying to earn it. We'll at least get Lilith's guilt, but as is, I feel Eda showing genuine anger towards her would elevate that story by a lot.
IN CONCLUSION
But that's about all the bad things I have to say about "Separate Tides." As is, it is a well-earned, solid A of a season premiere. It introduces new concepts and characters I can't wait to see more of, continues old storylines and character development instead of ignoring them, and still proves that The Owl House is as charming and funny as it always was. Maybe the rest of the season could continue to be great, or maybe things might get worse. Time can only tell. For now, all I can tell you is that "Separate Tides" is a great and fun episode that makes me excited as we set sail to this new season.
(And Scared. Mostly scared)
31 notes · View notes
ripjaws · 4 years ago
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Ben 10 Survey Results!
Huge thank you to everyone who submitted a response, it was really fun looking through them all and I was genuinely surprised by the results of some of the questions.
Hopefully this will work under a read more because it's quite long and I don't want people to have to scroll a hundred years to get past it.
If anyone has any questions or anything please feel free to ask! :)
Thanks again!
General
Q1. How would you describe your gender?
36% - Female 25.3% - Male 24% - Non-binary 8% - Prefer not to say 4% - Agender 2.7% - Genderfluid
Q2. How would you describe your sexuality?
32% - Bisexual 20% - Heterosexual 20 % - Asexual 8% - Lesbian 6.7% - Prefer not to say 5.4% - Pansexual 4% - Gay 1.3% - Demisexual 1.3% - Questioning 1.3% - Polysexual
Q3. Current age
48% - 20-24 39% - 15-19 13.3% - 25-30 1.3% - Older than 30 1.3% - Younger than 15
Q4. Age when you first became interested in Ben 10
86.7% - Younger than 15 9.3% - 15-19 2.7% - 20-24 1.3% - 25-30
Episodes and season
Q1. Which series did you watch first?
88% - Original Series 9.3% - Alien Force 1.3% - Omniverse 1.3% - Reboot
Q2. Rank the series in order of preference
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[IMAGE ID: Five separate groups of five vertical bar charts. The individual columns for each group are coloured in the same order and corresponds to what ranking they recieved on that question of the survey. According to the key at the top of the image the order is; blue = 1, red = 2, orange = 3, green = 4 & purple = 5. The Y axis of the graph goes from zero to thirty in intervals of ten.
The first group is labelled ‘Original Series’ and shows that it got twenty votes in blue, seventeen votes in red, sixteen votes in orange, ten votes in green & twelve votes in purple.
The second group is labelled ‘Alien Force’ and shows that it got nine votes in blue, eighteen votes in red, twenty-one votes in orange, twenty-two votes in green & five votes in purple.
The third group is labelled ‘Ultimate Alien’ and shows that it got thirteen votes in blue, ten votes in red, fourteen votes in orange, twenty-two votes in green & sixteen votes in purple.
The fourth group is labelled ‘Omniverse’ and shows that it got eighteen votes in blue, fifteen votes in red, seventeen votes in orange, fifteen votes in green & ten votes in purple.
The fifth and final group is labelled ‘Reboot’ and shows that it got fifteen votes in blue, fifteen votes in red, seven votes in orange, six votes in green & thirty-two votes in purple. END IMAGE ID]
Q3. Favourite season (Original Series)
40% - Season 1 18.7% - Season 2 18.7% - Season 3 17.3% - Season 4 5.3% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched
Most popular episodes were Ken 10 (S4E10) & Kevin 11 (S1E7)
Q4. Favourite season (Alien Force)
52% - Season 2 28% - Season 1 16% - Season 3 4% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched
Most popular episodes were Alone Together (S2E2) & Save the Last Dance (S2E4)
Q5. Favourite Season (Ultimate Alien)
36% - Season 1 25.3% - Season 3 20% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 18.7% - Season 2
Most popular episodes were Forge of Creation (S1E16) & Duped (S1E2)
Q6. Favourite Season (Omniverse)
18.7% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 18.7% - Season 2 16% - Season 5 12% - Season 6 10.7% - Season 1 9.3% - Season 8 8% - Season 4 5.3% - Season 3 1.3% - Season 7
Most popular episodes were And Then There Were None (S6E1) & And Then There Was Ben (S6S2)
Q7. Favourite Season (Reboot)
60% - Don’t like/Haven’t watched 17.3% - Season 4 10.7% - Season 3 6.7% - Season 1 5.3% - Season 2
Most popular episodes were Omni-tricked (S1E37) & Innervasion (S2E36)
Q8. Which live action movie did you prefer?
40% - Alien Swarm 22.7% - Race Against time 22.7% - Didn’t like either 14.7% - Haven’t watched either
Characters and aliens
Q1. Favourite main character
45.3% - Ben Tennyson 28% - Kevin Levin 17.3% - Rook Blonko 9.3% - Gwen Tennyson
Some ‘Why’ responses:
Ben -
I know it's a really basic pick but I enjoy Ben alot as a character. Even though I feel like he took an extremely sharp turn into immaturity in the final season of Alien Force onward (from what I've heard it was due to ratings), it still fit well after a bit of time of adjustment. Him being rash and selfish at times while still having a good heart feels...very human. I'm a huge fan of flawed protagonists and Ben is a prime example of such, imo! Plus I hradcanon that he has autism and it's a big comfort for me :)
I love his potential as a character and the way he hands having such power and responsibility thrust upon him. Ben has done so much for the people in his life and the universe, and I absolutely adore him.
I think of him like a kind person who tries his best to the right thing, he's pretty chill and optimist and in my mind he's a chaotic bi and i can relate to that
Kevin -
I like that he's always been an antihero in the original series. And in the reboot I really like the direction the showrunners are taking his character. He has a different backstory, motivations and I'm really enjoying his character development. It's a fresh take on his story and they're treating it with care, which I really appreciate. His Antitrix aliens also have some really incredible designs.
Cool powers, uncommon character in children's media, especially as a primary character often cast in a good light (ex con, high school dropout, masculine, not emotionally mature). His character development is some of the best in the series.
Gods, we could be here forever... Okay, short version- 1) I can relate to him on a mental health level, especially in the OG series we seemed to have similar issues and to handle them in similar ways 2) there's a lot of depth and variance to his character, he's angry and aggressive and dangerous but also a dork, a sweetheart, and very affectionate once he lets his walls down, he loves cars and supernatural romance, violence and magical girls, he'll rescue an aggressive dog for no reason other than it needed help but also he might consider how much he could get for selling you, he's a complex character and he's allowed to be in a way the Tennysons can't because of how firmly they sit in the Hero seat 3) for all of this, we never really know all that much about him and his experiences, at least in comparison to what we know is there- we never learn about his time traveling the galaxy, we haven't heard anything about his time stuck in time, it's only in the reboot we're getting trustworthy information about his background and even then it's rare tidbits- he's ripe for exploring in fic, headcanon, and so-on 4) his powers in the OG series, his status as mutant or alien or both who knows anymore leaves a lot of doors open to play and to look at the world through different angles 5) dude has turned into six different monstrous chimera forms over the course of the franchise and honestly you have to support that sort've shit in media otherwise they might stop
Rook -
Alien catboy with a glorious voice and have you seen those arms??? And he's so polite while also being hilarious when he gets a little rude/snarky and his character development is amazing!!
While I would normally say Ben himself, Rook is his only friend that hasn't tried to kill him. Additionally, he provides Ben with guidance as well as support the Gwen and Kevin are fickle about.
Having an actual alien joining the cast and serving at Ben's foil worked well to me.
Gwen -
Smart, talented, funny, snarky, confident, and super cute. Jock-prep-nerd energy all in one. Deserves the world. Criminally ignored by the majority of the fandom. Knows karate and judo?? College at 16?? Icon.
Angel, can do no wrong, was capable of so much more than the show let her do, potential to be the most powerful member of the team if they'd just let her go a lil feral sometimes :/
She was a good voice of reason most of the time. Her powers were really interesting and overall I think she had a lot of wasted potential having to be sidelined since the series was about Ben ultimately
Q2. Favourite minor characters
40 votes - Paradox
22 votes - Max Tennyson
18 votes - Tetrax
17 votes - Argit
16 votes - Julie Yamamoto
15 votes - Azmuth
12 votes - Ester
10 votes - Looma Red Wind
9 votes - Glitch
9 votes - Kai Green
7 votes - Alan Albright
6 votes - Jimmy Jones
4 votes - Cooper Daniels
3 votes - Eunice
3 votes - Helen Wheels
2 votes - Elena Validus
2 votes - Manny Armstrong
1 vote - Cash Murray
1 vote - Driba
Other votes went to Penny Bennyson, Kenny Tennyson/Spanner, Lucy Mann, Rook Shar, Eddie Grandsmith, Myaxx and Pakmar.
Q3. Ship or Zed
64% - Ship 36% - Zed
Q4. Favourite main antagonist 
20% - Albedo 13.3% - Kevin 11 12% - Vilgax 10.7% - Charmcaster 10.7% - Zs’Skayr 9.3% - Malware 5.3% - Forever Knights 5.3% - Eon 4% - Highbreed & DNAliens 4% - Aggregor 1.3% - Servantis & Rooters 1.3% - Khyber 1.3% - Dagon & the Esoterica
Some ‘Why’ responses for top 3:
Albedo -
When I first saw him during the airing of Good Copy, Bad Copy, I was scared that Albedo might be a one-and-done evil clone that doesn't get much development. These fears went away, and I was pleased to find out about his backstory and motives, just a sour soul in an unpleasant situation. Even in Ultimate Alien with his reappearance episode, he tries to work on his own to cope in a horrid human world. He isn't necessarily malicious until Ben gets in his way, he just wants to return to his own body and leave, even stating that he wasn't going to fight Ben anymore while he had temporarily returned to his Galvan form. I know DJW stated in some interview that Albedo could never be redeemed, but I believe there's some hope if he gets help. And I'm a sucker for those redemption arcs :)
Tragic frog man that could have been helped but nobody helped him and he doubled down on his hatred which led to him getting stuck in a cycle of revenge and punishment and it's the tragedy of how much better things could have been for him if someone just helped him that I love so much!!
Kevin 11 -
He’s very dangerous and has a terrifying power to absorb electricity and living DNA to have the same powers of who he absorbed it from and even turn himself into a mutant with all those powers combined leading to destructive power 
Kevin was a good antagonist and a good protagonist, although i feel the transition was rushed. Anti-hero kevin in the reboot is great!
Vilgax -
He was always the endgame villian for Ben, despite how many battles they've had, despite countless losses, he always tried to stay one step ahead, and plan everything.
"Speak with care, Psyphon. Your counsel is valuable...not irreplaceable."
Q5. Favourite minor villains 
38 votes - Animo 20 votes - Hex 18 votes - Michael Morningstar/Darkstar 14 votes - SixSix 13 votes - Zombozo 9 votes - Vreedle family 9 votes - Vulkanus 8 votes - Rojo 5 votes - Inspector 13 5 votes - Billy Billions 5 votes - Will Harangue 4 votes - Fistrick 4 votes - Nyancy Chan 3 votes - Lord Decibel 3 votes - Simian 3 votes - Subdora 3 votes - Viktor 2 votes - Addwaitya 2 votes - Fistina 2 votes - Kraab 2 votes - Psyphon 2 votes - Steam Smythe 2 votes - Sunder 1 vote - Liam 1 vote - Ssserpent
Other votes went to Maurice & Sydney, Bugg Brothers, Alternate evil Bens, and the Mummy.
Q6. Favourite canon relationship
66.7% - Gwen & Kevin 13.3% - Max Tennyson & Verdona 5.3% - Ben & Kai 4% - Rook & Rayona 1.3% - Julie & Herve 1.3% - Max & Xylene
Q7. Favourite non-canon ship
36% - I don’t have one 30.7% - Ben & Rook 6.7% - Ben & Kevin 4% - Ben & Julie
Other responses included Ben & Rex, Kai & Julie, Looma & Attea, Alan & Cooper, Ben & Looma, Kevin & Manny, Gwen & Cooper, Ben & Ester, Max & Phil, Azmuth & Paradox, Cooper & Elena, Kai & Ester, Ben & Zak Saturday, Ben & Eddie, Ben & Albedo, Ben & Kevin & Gwen, Kenny & Devlin, OC & canon, and Ben & a therapist. 
Q8. Favourite alien introduced in the Original Series
18.7% - XLR8 17.3% - Upgrade 13.3% - Ghostfreak 10.7% - Diamondhead 9.3% - Heatblast 8% - Wildmutt 6.7% - Ditto 2.7% - Blitzwolfer 2.7% - Snare-oh 2.7% - Grey Matter 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Four Arms
Q9. Least favourite alien introduced in the Original Series
22.7% - Eye Guy 18.7% - Spitter 8% - Articguana 8% - Frankenstrike 6.7% - Upchuck 6.7% - Stinkfly 5.3% - Buzzshock 5.3% - Snare-oh 4% - Four Arms 2.7% - Blitzwolfer 2.7% - Ditto 2.7% - Wildmutt 2.7% - Grey Matter 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Diamondhead 1.3% - Ghostfreak
Q10. Favourite alien introduced in Alien Force
46.7% - Big Chill 17.3% - Rath 8% - Goop 6.7% - Lodestar 5.3% - Swampfire 4% - Chromastone 4% - Spidermonkey 2.7% - Alien X 2.7% - Echo Echo 1.3% - Humungousaur 1.3% - Jetray
Q11. Least favourite alien introduced in Alien Force
18.7% - Lodestar 17.3% - Brainstorm 13.3% - Alien X 10.7% - Humungousaur 10.7% - Spidermonkey 8% - Jetray 8% - Chromastone 5.3% - Goop 5.3% - Echo Echo 2.7% - Rath
Q12. Favourite alien introduced in Ultimate Alien
18.7% - Juryrigg 16% - AmpFibian 14.7% - Clockwork 12% - NRG 8% - Armodrillo 8% - Shocksquatch 8% - Terraspin 8% - Water Hazard 2.7% - Chamalien 2.7% - Fasttrack 1.3% - Eatle
Q13. Least favourite alien introduced in Ultimate Alien
30.7% - Fasttrack 18.7% - Eatle 13.3% - Juryrigg 9.3% - Chamalien 8% - Shocksquatch 6.7% - Terraspin 5.3% - Water Hazard 4% - Clockwork 1.3% - AmpFibian 1.3% - Armodrillo 1.3% - NRG
Q14. Favourite Ultimate Form
38.7% - Echo Echo 24% - Big Chill 10.7% - Swampfire 9.3% - Way Big 8% - Wildmutt 6.7% - Spidermonkey 1.3% - Cannonbolt 1.3% - Humungousaur
Q15. Favourite alien introduced in Omniverse
29.3% - Feedback 13.3% - Pesky Dust 12% - Gravattack 9.3% - Ball Weevil 8% - Bullfrag 6.7% - Whampire 5.3% - Bloxx 4% - Atomix 4% - Walkatrout 2.7% - Gutrot 1.3% - Crashhopper 1.3% - Kickin Hawk 1.3% - Toepick 1.3% - The Worst
Q16. Least favourite alien introduced in Omniverse
24% - The Worst 14.7% - Bloxx 12% - Mole-Stache 8% - Bullfrag 6.7% - Astrodactyl 6.7% - Kickin Hawk 5.3% - Atomix 5.3% - Gutrot 4% - Crashhopper 4% - Walkatrout 2.7% - Toepick 1.3% - Ball Weevil
Q17. Favourite alternate Ben timeline
29.3% - No watch Ben 24% - Gwen 10 17.3% - Ben 10,000 8% - Mad Ben 6.7% - Dimension 23 6.7% - Eon 4% - Nega Ben 2.7% - Benzarro 1.3% - Bad Ben
Misc.
Q1. Favourite watch design
37.3% - Original Series 29.3% - Omniverse 17.3% - Alien Force 9.3% - Ultimatrix 6.7% - Reboot
Q2. Favourite alternate watch design
29.3% - Biomnitrix 20% - Gwen 10 18.7% - Negatrix 17.3% - Antitrix 8% - Power Watch 6.7% - Hero Watch
Q3. Favourite planet visited
32% - Anur Transyl 20% - Revonnah 13.3% - Mykdl’dy 10.7% - Galvan Prime 9.3% - Vilgaxia 6.7% - Piscciss 5.3% - Petropia 2.7% - Khoros
Q4. Favourite locations
34 votes - Undertown 23 votes - Ledgerdomain 23 votes - Null Void 22 votes - Bellwood 19 votes - Friedkin University 18 votes - Mr. Smoothy 16 votes - Forge of Creation 15 votes - Los Soledad 7 votes - Burger Shack 7 votes - Plumber Headquarters 4 votes - Incarcecon 2 votes - Mt. Rushmore Plumber base 2 votes - The Perplexahedron 1 vote - Plumber Academy
Q5. Favourite Vehicle
33.3% - Kevin’s car (Original) 25.3% - Rustbucket 18.7% - Proto-TRUK 13.3% - DX Mark 10 5.3% - Kevin’s car (Omniverse) 4% - Glitch
Q6. Favourite Kevin mutation
40% - Original series 20% - Ken 10 future 12% - Ultimate Alien 8% - Omniverse 8% - Alien Force 6.7% - Omniverse flashback 5.3% - Reboot
Q7. Favourite Omniverse redesign
66.7% - Ben 26.6% - Kevin 6.7% - Gwen
Q8. Least favourite Omniverse redesign
76% - Gwen 18.7% - Kevin 5.3% - Ben
Thoughts
(Putting every single response here would make this insanely long so I’ve just put the most detailed/most echoed responses & include all sides of opinions when possible.)
Q1. Thoughts on the Osmosians retcon?
Okay, first up, do you know how much work I had already put into building shit surrounding those fuckers by the time of the retcons? I had been working on this crap since AF season 2! But no, they gotta go ruin that in one fell swoop, thank you, much appreciated. Second up, I wibble on it? Like, working with mutants is fun and interesting and I've done plenty of shit with them as well, but in the end I'm always going to be a pro-Ossys person. Mostly the retcons left more questions than they gave answers (how, if Osmosians never existed, did everybody and their mother know Kevin was an Osmosian? why, if Osmosians never existed, did none of the people not-involved in this whole disaster with Servantis's mindfuckery look at Aggregor being reported as an Osmosian and go 'wtf that's not a thing'? do they really mean to tell me that not only did Kevin never bother to look into his heritage, but neither did research-happy Gwen? or am I expected to believe the Rooters made enough fake information and put it out publicly that they fooled literally everyone? and if they did then why? when it would've done the same thing with less effort if they'd just, let Kevin be a mutant with a Plumber father who died) and I feel like they didn't really give enough to justify them. One of those cases of 'making your work less interesting to make it more 'accurate''. Personally, I forever keep working on Osmosians (where's the line where it just starts becoming your shit, I think I may be heading there) and I love on mutants and I flip between or combine the two as needed for whatever story I want to tell.
While the fake memories plot isn't great I think it's for the best because the original series meant for Kevin to be a mutant while UAF changed it to alien. I like him better as a mutant human. Too much alien connections in UAF.
I could scream for hours. Easily one of the worst decisions they ever made. Omniverse picks and chooses what canon to follow from AFUA + the original run and throws it in without care or concern to what it means for the timeline. Retconning something and keeping the effect it had is just bad writing. Kevin coming to terms with not being human and that’s okay was important to me when I was a kid. Knowing that he’s just been on an unending series of brainwashed nonsense all his life deprives him of his agency. I hate this decision more than several dozen essays could ever convey.
I wasn't mad about it. Mainly because I liked the idea of Kevin being a mutant than an alien. Alien Force really was pushing that aspect even with Gwen. To the point where she called her powers 'not spells' because of her heritage. Stupid that the rooters and fake memories were a thing, but necessary.
I was never a big fan of the Rooters Arc, but this doesn't bother me too much. It makes UA a little weird with Aggragor, but again, it doesn't really bother me, as most of Omniverse didn't explore Kevin (While UA Did), and was mostly about Ben.
Osmosians were such a cool idea, and it would've allowed for more exploration into what Mike Morningstar was as well, but just writing them off as mutates is so boring. As well as it makes Aggregors whole part not really make sense, like who is he then.
While well executed, it was unnecessary. You could have had the same story line where Kevin was used to mutate other kids and still had him an Alien. You could have had it where it was another alien species that used Osmosians to morph other species to theirs; a call back to the DNAliens if you want.
Q2. Thoughts on how the Ultimate Kevin situation was dealt with in UA?
Terrible. They wanted to go far. They wanted to go dark. But they didn't think their viewership could handle it so they dialed it back. I will always be curious to know what they would have written if they didn't have those constraints. Because the final product was a mess of contrasting tone and unsure footing about how far to go with questioning our hero's moral compass. They wanted to push Ben to see what he would do and apparently, we got that he would kill Kevin and maybe Gwen if she got in the way of saving the universe.... but not really because he didn't. And then the gang is happy all back together like none of it ever happened. They wanted to explore dark themes but have it leave no consequences on the characters. Also... it was so ableist and awful and Kevin deserved better than how Ben and Max (and the writers) treated him.
If they did everything the same but the argument was 'we need to capture him and lock him away' instead of 'we need to kill him'? I would be fine. It's the fact that they slipped so quickly into murder, into murder by his 16-yo bestfriend, that gets me. Like, there's apparently no space between 'recklessly risk our safety trying to talk him down' and 'Ol' Yeller his ass' and that just does not sit right with me.
Ben should have looked for alternate solutions before jumping on the "Let's kill Kevin" train. I understand why he did (this took place immediately post-Aggregor so Ben was still traumatized about having lost so many people and because he failed and "let" Kevin get turned into Ultimate Kevin, he felt as though every person Kevin hurt would be on him) but I wish he hadn't.
Pretty good actually. I like Gwen's emotions becoming a hindrance to the job, I like Ben putting on his big boy pants and I like Kevin going up to Aggregor and saying "y'know, I was a big boy villain once and I'm tried of just getting kicked around" (obviously paraphrasing)
Other than the scenario being overplayed, I think Ben was right. Kevin was eventually going to end up killing Gwen and he'd already put others in the hospital. He needed to be stopped.
Ben jumping straight to murder, yikes. Kevin dismissing Gwen to hang out with Ben almost as soon as he turned back to normal, yikes. Otherwise, it was an interesting plotline.
Really bad. Really shows how awful max and the plumbers really are. I mean , the guy saved the universe and now he clearly needs help but all they wanted to do was kill him.
it really felt like Ben just wanted to murder Kevin because he saved the universe that one time and Ben couldn't stand someone else being the hero for once
The worst, Max straight away wanting to put him down makes u wonder how long he's been waiting for that kind of opportunity.
I'm fine with it, maybe they could have spent some time dealing with the consequences of Kevin's actions, possibly even the ramifications it had on Ben and Kevin's friendship, but overall I'm ok with it.
Q3. Thoughts on the Plumbers
Plumbers ain't shit. Individuals can be acceptable or not but the organization as a whole has too much power, not enough oversight, utilizes child labor, uses a deathtrap of a hellscape dimension as a penal colony, has been shown onscreen sentencing people to imprisonment in said dimension without a trial, and I'm sorry the fact that a Plumber official could walk into a base with his team, assault several members of staff, attempt to kidnap a boy, admit to having and planning to continue to run illegal experiments on him and others, admit to having altered the memories of other Plumber officials, all in front of the entire base, and nothing was done until he tried to kill the golden child Ben 10 and failed, got his ass kicked by one of his victims, and in a place where presumably there were security cameras? And that the response was, again, to sentence him and his team without trial, take all the evidence, and peace out without so much as looking at nonetheless apologizing to his victims? Yeah, that don't fly. Doesn't sound like an organization that has it's shit together. Either the Plumbers don't have their shit together or the higher ups were in on it until it became something that could actually damage their reputation, and either way I Do Not Approve.
They're pretty cool. I know everyone's talking about how Plumbers are space cops and therefore absolutely corrupt and bad but this is a fictional universe in which corruption in organized forces isn't a necessity. Plumbers don't function the same way real cops do, they don't follow they same chain of command, they don't have the same motivations and they definitely don't have the same biases. Plumbers perform an essential function in the Ben 10 universe, which is to capture and contain aliens who aim to hurt anyone (or those who Ben defeats).
My knowledge of the Plumbers' unfortunately doesn't go beyond UA. They're not my favorite thing ever. Some of my least favorite episodes were the ones where the Plumbers or Plumbers' kids are involved, except for the episode "Everybody Talks About the Weather". The way Alan is introduced is really cool and very X Files-esque, and it ties into the DNAlien plot very well. But throughout the series I stopped caring about the Plumbers in general and I think that concept was given too much attention.
They don't do what they're meant to. They act like heros yet I don't think I've ever seen them do anything heroic. The DNAliens situation, the aggregor situation, dagon etc etc. Where were they??? Why did they leave the fate of the universe in the hands of a 16 year-old boy? Ben has the omnitrix sure , but he's still just one guy, how much can he fight? They showed up every once in a while but that's it. They were useless.
Of course the Plumbers have their problems, but looking at most characters we've met that were plumbers seem to be pretty good people. Max, Patelliday and Rook (and even Kevin, technically) are great examples of Plumbers, Servantis being a bad example of one.
Honestly liked it when it was disbanded. It’s cool they introduced Rook but like there’s so much wrong with how they run most things. My favorite version of the plumbers was tbh the first live action movie. Where it was just a bunch of old people watching out for Ben cause they actually cared about the people they protected (in this case Ben).
Q4. Thoughts on Grandpa Max
(The responses to this one were way more divided than I thought they would be omg)
He said Kevin was a mad dog that needed to put down. He's terrible. Military. Secretive. Kept his kids out of the loop and probably told the grandkids not to tell them about a huge and extremely dangerous part of their lives. Thus creating a gap between them and their parents that didn't need to be there. Child endangerment. Other than that....? He's important to Ben and Gwen so I tolerate him and he had some good life lessons to share. Also legendary adult figure in a kids cartoon who had relationships with multiple aliens.
He’s incredible, he worked in the Air Force, was going to be one of the first people on the moon (But he refused because he joined the Plumbers) had children with an Energy Being, he has a few grandchildren, and not to mention knows how to still kick butt despite him being in his 60s and was there to help Ben grow
He’s a complicated old man. Love him to bits in the original run and I love him in AF! He’s a utilitarian doing what needs to be done and suffering the consequences when need be. He does what he thinks is going to lead to the best possible outcome for the most people in any situation.
Needs to get knocked off his pedestal more often, both in and out of canon. He's got good traits, they're very nice, but there's other shit that gets glossed over, ignored, brushed aside, too easily forgiven, and just. They really needed a character who served double duty being a counterforce to him. Somebody to go 'wtf is wrong with you?' or 'yeah, no'. Ideally this would've been Patilidae, but no. We couldn't be so lucky.
Conflicted. Was he grooming Ben for plumber work, or just trying to support him in a situation he knew would be dangerous? It’s not made very clear...
I think he's got some sort of narcissistic personality disorder. I just can't forgive him for making Ben carry the burden of the Omnitrix at the age of 10 without ever explaining anything, and for not letting Ben and Gwen know he was alive after the Null Void grenade incident in AF. He clearly could have, if Helen could reach Gwen so easily. I think he views Ben more as an asset than a grandson at this point and that's really sad.
I love him! The progression from family hero to questionable old man felt kinda natural, like learning about a family member as you grow older and realizing they aren't perfect
He's awesome. He was a good role model for Ben and he was very supportive to both his grandkids. I hate that they made him mute in Omniverse and changed his design so drastically. I loved Max in every season from the original till Ultimate Alien. After that, he was pretty much just a prop.
Q5. And finally, give me your most controversial Ben 10 opinion!
It seems to be the worst thing to say that Ben isn't perfect and that Kai isn't demonic. And it's pretty standard for the women of color characters in every fandom to get the most hate so to me all the hate towards Kai when her personality is so close to Ben's AND she's also more hated than the ex-villain and the actual villains that tried to kill Ben multiple times just seems- hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. But really, and really I've needed to say this for a long time but I'm afraid of being strangled. Some fans will denounce incest/pedo shippers and people that interact with them and then reblog from a proud Bwen shipper with no self-awareness. Please I have the tags blacklisted are you safe to interact with and you just don't know? Or you're just saying you hate Bwen shippers to give yourself an out for reblogging their content????? Or are you all closeted incest shippers trying to maintain a public image???? I'm at my limit.
I do not think the reboot should have existed tbh :,D I know that it has a ton of fans and all due respect to them, but from what I've seen of it I don't think it was worth tossing away four interconnected series' worth of development and starting from scratch to end up with what we have now. I would be fine with it existing if we got an Omniverse continuation alongside it, but CN screwed OV over by the decisions they made near the end of it's run. So it's probably impossible it would return, even moreso because of the reboot already airing, and it would probably confuse younger audiences that don't know about Omniverse if two Ben 10's were running separately. I just really miss Omniverse, it had more potential and the reboot placed the final nail in for it to ever return.
The Ben 10 reboot is fun and meant more for kids rather than the ones watching for nostalgia. I didn’t like how Gwevin were sidelined and downplayed to make Ben look better. Sometimes it felt like Gwen was a bit naggy towards the two of them. I didn’t like how the fact that she was the only female lead how she had sometimes act like a parent or that they put Gwen and Kevin together just because. Their relationship felt forced and awkward a lot of the time. Omniverse’s designs while controversial were fun and unique but I didn’t like what they did with Gwevin, especially Gwen.
Kevin is totally smart enough to figure out an Omnitrix with the blueprints in front of him, we see him do amazing shit with technology- including the Omnitrix- in the OG series, people just don't notice he's as brilliant as Gwen because the show never made it as big a point that he and Ben were so very smart like it did with her before the reboot, so now they're being forced to acknowledge that Kevin might have two braincells to rub together and they're pushing against the supposed 'change'.
idk if it's controversial but there should've been way more episodes of just gwen & kevin & rook without ben or ben having a very minor role in the episode. just more time for those three to shine and show off how capable they are without ben always having to come in to save the day at the end
Gwen and Kevin aren't good friends to Ben. I mean they were initially, but once he got famous and they didn't, they stopped putting more than a half-assed effort to help him. They also don't really consider his feelings nor really care about the toll heroing takes on him.
The Reboot has the best jokes in the entire franchise and I don't why people give it so much crap.
Kai Green is an abuser and I refuse to find anything redeemable about her character. "Worthy to wield Excalibur," my entire ass. And Ben and Julie's breakup was good for them both, as people, and just as much her fault as it was his.
Ben 10 is an incredibly flawed show and people need to stop getting butt hurt when the blatant misogyny, and copoganda in the show get pointed out or when any even minority critiques Ben's character.
Ben is the worst character in Ben 10 and the whole franchise would be better off without him.
Azmuth is fine for the most part and malware was not exactly the most understanding person
I think Ben should've stayed single. Every episode where romance (or the girl Ben was dating) was the focus of the episode was pretty boring to me, personally.
Ben's parents were right to try to stop him from being a hero, so were Gwen's.
Ultimate alien force season 2 and 3 were amazing.( not comparing the OS since obviously that's the best, or omniverse since I haven't watched all the episodes of that)
Pierce deserved to die for being a boring character. I just wish his death had actual consequences.
The reboot is a genuine improvement over the original continuity in MANY ways!
Oh geez, um, Kai was a good character, just her and ben were obviously toxic. Not everyone needs to like Ben and she isn't an abuser, they just don't get along and that's fine but by God, why did the writers have to force them in a relationship? That's all I could really think of on the spot. Oh! And that the first two season of AF were a watered down version of Ben and the plot focused more on Gwen and Kevin than it did Ben. He felt like a side character and I'm not mad about that, but I don't understand why people praise that characterization of ben when I remember more about gwen and Kevin then Ben. Dude, I've been watching the show for the past week and I can name more about kevin and gwen because they're memorable.
Azmuth's hot af, but y'all aren't ready for that conversation...
----
If you’ve made it this far then thank you!
Again huge thank you to everyone who submitted a response and if you have any questions/comments please feel free to leave them in the replies/send me an ask/dm/whatever ^^
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scottymcgeesterwrites · 3 years ago
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Some Goddamn Curtains
When I was in college, I kept getting the compliment, “Wow, your room is really nice for a guy.”  I never understood what that meant for the longest time.  Then I actually paid attention to how most guys kept their dorm room. I once waited for a guy to get ready to head down to an event. I realized that I had never actually stepped foot in his room, much less even glanced inside of it. So when he stepped out and said he was ready to go, I leaned to the side over his shoulder and oh my god it was like downtown Baghdad during the worst of the Iraq War. Damn bruh, you live like this? I liked all my college roommates but the most untidiest one was in sophomore year. He left his toothbrush lying around in the open in a sock drawer, and it would end up somewhere else each night. Maybe he liked to play scavenger hunts to keep himself on his toes? He never put the DVDs back in their respective cases. I once couldn’t wait to watch Iron Man with a friend at their dorm, only to open the case once I got there and realize that my roommate had replaced it with Season 1 of Martin. He would also do this thing where he would drink a can of Coke (that I bought), not finish it, put it back in the fridge, then later open a new can of Coke that he didn’t feel like finishing, and rinse and repeat. First year roommate wasn’t that bad. Third year roommate was nearly as tidy as I was. Then in my fourth and final year I lived alone,  so my sense of the idea that “guys were messy” didn’t really hit me because I’ve only had one bad experience and chalked it up to “It was just that one guy”. I’m 31, and by now I have noticed people saying things like, “Oh my God I was actually thinking about what curtains I liked and I’m such an adult. This is what adult thinking is like. I’m adulting now.”
I hate hearing shit like that. I grew up blithely admitting liking things that an adult would “normally like”, such as curtains. The curtains thing came up in high school when I hung out at the senior lounge. The senior lounge was this bare room that looked like it was meant for old people to sit and play bingo. It was boring and dull and I hated it. It felt more lke a prison cafeteria really, with some worn out couches. I would bring my video games to that lounge, namely GoldenEye 007, to play with friends during our free period.  The room didn’t have any curtains, so at a certain time in the afternoon, the sun would beat down directly onto the screen, making it difficult to see properly. A lot of us would squint and move closer or lean forward.  I then said, “This room needs some curtains.”
A pause, and then someone replied, “Did you just say this room needs curtains?” And I was like, “Yeah. Maybe something blue. Something dark.”
And he looked at me and scoffed, and all the other guys did the same - they gave me this funny sideways glance and scoffed. I asked what the problem was, but they mostly shook their heads in disbelief. I was frankly annoyed by their response. So I said, louder, “This room needs some goddamn curtains”, because I thought it was perfectly fucking reasonable that a person would logically do something about the fucking glare from the fucking sun. Maybe they liked blinds better. Who knows? But it took me ages to fully realize two things:  1. It’s not socially acceptable for boys to be interested in style - whether it be about living spaces or clothes. I was fiercely made fun of for the clothes I wore as a kid throughout young adult life. I hated all kinds of t-shirts. I think growing up thin and gangly made me too self-aware of my arms. But I never specifically wanted to wear anything that had a band name or a company logo or even my favorite video game or movie. I would feel like a walking advertisement, and that would piss me off. I often liked ties, long-sleeved shirts, and sweaters. I never left the house in sweatpants or pajamas. I always had to comb my hair and put on a good shirt. Sweatpants were when you worked out or worked around the house fixing things.  I grew up in Catholic school, so we had uniforms. On dress down days, my classmates would come up to me and say, “Eddie, you were supposed to dress DOWN, not up” or “I can’t believe you’re wearing that on a dress down day!”.  I didn’t have a problem with people dressing how they dressed. Sure I was never into the goth thing, but I didn’t want to judge. I just wanted to dress how I wanted to dress. And maybe I was influenced in some way by how my parents dressed me up, and maybe other times I did feel embarrassed, but I knew that at the end of the day I would wear what felt most comfortable to me. Sometimes my mom would give me a sweater that was a tad too bland, so I went to the bathroom once I got to school and took it off. I would like the polo but untucked it and unbuttoned the top buttons. Half-and-half. Right idea, but lemme wear it like this instead. College was really when I started to develop my everyday style, my “main outfit”, like a video game character. I always wore some untucked button-down shirt with a tie, jeans, and sneakers. I liked it. It was this weird blend of dressing up and dressing down. People my age thought I was overdressed but my parents and people over 50 complained that I was underdressed. It was great! It feels so special to piss off both sides! My parents still remember the time I got an award at college and I went up the stage wearing that getup. You look at the picture and see the students standing side-by-side in nice dresses and dockers, and then there’s me wearing jeans and sneakers with a shirt and tie.  There always seemed to be this false dichotomy for how men should look and be - either the dapper “metrosexual” man who was slightly effeminate or the rough-and-tumble strong man who didn’t need to use an umbrella when it rained and never cared to fix his hair because that’s some “gay shit” for silly city folk. That false dichotomy is always played out in media. There’s a million buddy cop movies about the book-smart guy who is suave and sophisticated teaming up with the street-smart guy who is all muscle and manly and goes for the more practical route. Yin and Yang. Hot and cold. Good cop and bad cop. Lucky and Wild. Tango and Cash. But growing up I thought, “Why not both?” I loved watching James Bond as much as I loved watching Indiana Jones. Why couldn’t I be both if I really wanted to? It fit me best to play both roles. I AM GOING TO MIX THESE TWO THINGS AND YOU CAN’T FUCKING STOP ME! I WILL BE BOTH BOOK-SMART AND STREET-SMART. I KNOW THE QUADRATIC EQUATION AND HOW TO CON SOMEONE. THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM.  The fucking worst though is being an adult now and hearing women wish they knew a guy who “dressed properly”, and men complimenting my clothes saying I look sharp.
Fuck all of you, honestly. 2. Young people are afraid to admit they like things that adults like. I grew up with extended family members living in cozy homes. I liked to admire their grandfather clocks, their decanters, their entertainment center, their offices and their chairs. I liked to wander around their houses during the holidays and poke my nose into their closets and admire old things. Maybe it’s something that an only-child might relate to the most. I wasn’t required or asked to be upstairs to attend a younger or older sibling. The adults just did their own thing and so I wandered off. Ikea always tickled my fancy as a kid. I would wander through the model rooms of offices and bedrooms and bathrooms, and I found whatever felt coziest to me and pretended that I was home. Better yet, I sometimes daydreamed that the entire Ikea facility was my home. How about that? Tired of sleeping on the bunk bed? Go to the next room to the big bed. I feel like cooking in that kitchen today, not this one. Some days I’ll feel more serious and work in the wooden office desk and other days I’ll feel silly and be in the kids room. I’ll take the whole building, please. This is where I live now. Swedish meatballs for dinner and creamy European chocolate bars for dessert every day. Young people fear being old and facing responsibilities. That doesn’t mean you liking these things makes you older. Taste and style is part of who you are, and there’s no shame if you have an interest in some bath mats or a nice decanter when you’re 20 or 17.
When I lived in my single dorm back in senior year of college, I realized that I was truly living alone for the first time. It brought some sanity to me that I didn’t know I needed. I was able to organize things how I saw fit, and hosted parties whenever I wanted. If I felt like something needed adjusting, I didn’t need to ask anybody’s permission. I really started exploring my sense of style and taste. As I grew up, I developed really specific tastes about where I would live: 1. Everything has to make sense. The placement of shelves, TVs, desks, dressers, paintings, pictures, all have to feel like they are easily viewed and accessible without needing to awkwardly turn to face them or reach them.  2. Symmetry is not always necessary but still good to fall back on when you don’t know what to do. 3. I never liked to sit with my back to the window(s) or the door. I always needed to see who or what was going to approach me or look at me.  4. TVs should never go on top of fireplaces.  5. Always have some kind of drawing room for guests to wait.  6. Never put your keys or sensitive documents in the foyer, drawing room, or wherever else strangers can easily find them the minute they walk into the house.  7. Open concept is pretentious.  8. It is far easier to cook if you have an island in the kitchen.  9. McMansions are the bane of style. Fake balconies, fake shutters, brick facades - everything about them is evil.  10. Get some goddamn curtains.
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newstfionline · 3 years ago
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Monday, September 20, 2021
Biden’s Entire Presidential Agenda Rests on Expansive Spending Bill (NYT) Biden’s entire presidential agenda is riding on the reconciliation bill being crafted in Congress right now. No president has ever packed as much of his agenda, domestic and foreign, into a single piece of legislation as President Biden has with the $3.5 trillion spending plan that Democrats are trying to wrangle through Congress over the next six weeks,” Tankersley writes. “It is almost as if President Franklin D. Roosevelt had stuffed his entire New Deal into one piece of legislation, or if President Lyndon B. Johnson had done the same with his Great Society, instead of pushing through individual components over several years. If he succeeds, Biden’s far-reaching attempt could result in a presidency-defining victory that delivers on a decades-long campaign by Democrats to expand the federal government to combat social problems and spread the gains of a growing economy to workers. If he fails, he could end up with nothing. As Democrats are increasingly seeing, the sheer weight of Mr. Biden’s progressive push could cause it to collapse, leaving the party empty-handed, with the president’s top priorities going unfulfilled. … If Mr. Biden’s party cannot find consensus on those issues and the bill dies, the president will have little immediate recourse to advance almost any of those priorities.
Child care in the US is a ‘broken market,’ Treasury report finds (Yahoo Money) A Treasury Department report this week characterized the U.S. child care system as “unworkable” as Democrats push reform that experts say is an “overdue and critical investment.” The average American family with at least one child under age 5 uses 13% of their income to pay for child care, according to the report, nearly double the 7% that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services considers affordable. Additionally, less than 20% of the children eligible for the Child Care and Development Fund—a federal assistance program for low-income families—are getting that funding. “Child care is a textbook example of a broken market, and one reason is that when you pay for it, the price does not account for all the positive things it confers on our society,” Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said in a statement on Wednesday. “When we underinvest in child care, we forgo that; we give up a happier, healthier, more prosperous labor force in the future.”
Inspiration4 Astronauts Beam After Return From 3-Day Journey to Orbit (NYT) After three days in orbit, a physician assistant, a community college professor, a data engineer and the billionaire who financed their trip arrived back on Earth, heralding a new era of space travel with a dramatic and successful Saturday evening landing in the Atlantic Ocean. The mission, which is known as Inspiration4, splashed down off the Florida coast at 7:06 p.m. on Saturday. Each step of the return unfolded on schedule, without problems. Within an hour, all four crew members walked out of the spacecraft, one at a time, each beaming with excitement as recovery crews assisted them.
Haitians on Texas border undeterred by US plan to expel them (AP) Haitian migrants seeking to escape poverty, hunger and a feeling of hopelessness in their home country said they will not be deterred by U.S. plans to speedily send them back, as thousands of people remained encamped on the Texas border Saturday after crossing from Mexico. Scores of people waded back and forth across the Rio Grande on Saturday afternoon, re-entering Mexico to purchase water, food and diapers in Ciudad Acuña before returning to the Texas encampment under and near a bridge in the border city of Del Rio. Junior Jean, a 32-year-old man from Haiti, watched as people cautiously carried cases of water or bags of food through the knee-high river water. Jean said he lived on the streets in Chile the past four years, resigned to searching for food in garbage cans. “We are all looking for a better life,” he said.
Three Weeks After Hurricane Ida, Parts of Southeast Louisiana Are Still Dark (NYT) For Tiffany Brown, the drive home from New Orleans begins as usual: She can see the lights on in the city’s central business district and people gathering in bars and restaurants. But as she drives west along Interstate 10, signs of Hurricane Ida’s destruction emerge. Trees with missing limbs fill the swamp on either side of the highway. With each passing mile, more blue tarps appear on rooftops, and more electric poles lay fallen by the road, some snapped in half. By the time Ms. Brown gets to her exit in Destrehan 30 minutes later, the lights illuminating the highway have disappeared, and another night of total darkness has fallen on her suburban subdivision. For Ms. Brown, who works as an office manager at a pediatric clinic, life at work can feel nearly normal. But at home, with no electricity, it is anything but. “I keep hoping every day that I’m going to go home and it’ll be on,” she said. Three weeks have passed since Hurricane Ida knocked down electric wires, poles and transmission towers serving more than one million people in southeast Louisiana. In New Orleans, power was almost entirely restored by Sept. 10, and businesses and schools have reopened. But outside the city, more than 100,000 customers were without lights through Sept. 13. As of Friday evening there were still about 38,000 customers without power, and many people remained displaced from damaged homes.
Favela centennial shows Brazil communities’ endurance (AP) Dozens of children lined up at a community center in Sao Paulo for a slice of creamy, blue cake. None was celebrating a birthday; their poor neighborhood, the favela of Paraisopolis, was commemorating 100 years of existence. “People started coming (to the city) for construction jobs and settled in,” community leader Gilson Rodrigues said. “There was no planning, not even streets. People started growing crops. It was all disorganized. Authorities didn’t do much, so we learned to organize ourselves.” The favela’s centennial, which was marked on Thursday, underscores the permanence of its roots and of other communities like it, even as Brazilians in wealthier parts of town often view them as temporary and precarious. Favelas struggle to shed that stigma as they defy simple definition, not least because they evolved over decades. Paraisopolis is Sao Paulo’s second-biggest favela, home to 43,000 people, according to the most-recent census, in 2010. Recent, unofficial counts put its population around 100,000.
The barbecue king: British royals praise Philip’s deft touch (AP) When Prince Philip died nearly six months ago at 99, the tributes poured in from far and wide, praising him for his supportive role at the side of Queen Elizabeth II over her near 70-year reign. Now, it has emerged that Philip had another crucial role within the royal family. He was the family’s barbecue king—perhaps testament to his Greek heritage. “He adored barbecuing and he turned that into an interesting art form,” his oldest son Prince Charles said in a BBC tribute program that will be broadcast on Wednesday. “And if I ever tried to do it he ... I could never get the fire to light or something ghastly, so (he’d say): ‘Go away!’” In excerpts of ‘Prince Philip: The Royal Family Remembers’ released late Saturday, members of the royal family spoke admiringly of the late Duke of Edinburgh’s barbecuing skills. “Every barbecue that I’ve ever been on, the Duke of Edinburgh has been there cooking,” said Prince William, Philip’s oldest grandson. “He’s definitely a dab hand at the barbecue ... I can safely say there’s never been a case of food poisoning in the family that’s attributed to the Duke of Edinburgh.” The program, which was filmed before and after Philip’s death on April 9, was originally conceived to mark his 100th birthday in June.
Relations between France and the U.S. have sunk to their lowest level in decades. (NYT) The U.S. and Australia went to extraordinary lengths to keep Paris in the dark as they secretly negotiated a plan to build nuclear submarines, scuttling a defense contract worth at least $60 billion. President Emmanuel Macron of France was so enraged that he recalled the country’s ambassadors to both nations. Australia approached the new administration soon after President Biden’s inauguration. The conventionally powered French subs, the Australians feared, would be obsolete by the time they were delivered. The Biden administration, bent on containing China, saw the deal as a way to cement ties with a Pacific ally. But the unlikely winner is Britain, who played an early role in brokering the alliance. For its prime minister, Boris Johnson, who will meet this coming week with Biden at the White House and speak at the U.N., it is his first tangible victory in a campaign to make post-Brexit Britain a player on the global stage.
Hong Kong’s first ‘patriots-only’ election kicks off (Reuters) Fewer than 5,000 Hong Kong people from mostly pro-establishment circles began voting on Sunday for candidates to an election committee, vetted as loyal to Beijing, who will pick the city’s next China-backed leader and some of its legislature. Pro-democracy candidates are nearly absent from Hong Kong’s first election since Beijing overhauled the city’s electoral system to ensure that “only patriots” rule China’s freest city. The election committee will select 40 seats in the revamped Legislative Council in December, and choose a chief executive in March. Changes to the political system are the latest in a string of moves—including a national security law that punishes anything Beijing deems as subversion, secession, terrorism or collusion with foreign forces—that have placed the international financial hub on an authoritarian path. Most prominent democratic activists and politicians are now in jail or have fled abroad.
The Remote-Control Killing Machine (Politico/NYT) For 14 years, Israel wanted to kill Iran’s top nuclear scientist. Then they came up with a way to do it while using a trained sniper who was more than 1,000 miles away—and fired remotely. It was also the debut test of a high-tech, computerized sharpshooter kitted out with artificial intelligence and multiple-camera eyes, operated via satellite and capable of firing 600 rounds a minute. The souped-up, remote-controlled machine gun now joins the combat drone in the arsenal of high-tech weapons for remote targeted killing. But unlike a drone, the robotic machine gun draws no attention in the sky, where a drone could be shot down, and can be situated anywhere, qualities likely to reshape the worlds of security and espionage.
Israeli army arrests last 2 of 6 Palestinian prison escapees (AP) Israeli forces on Sunday arrested the last two of six Palestinian prisoners who escaped a maximum-security Israeli prison two weeks ago, closing an intense, embarrassing episode that exposed deep security flaws in Israel and turned the fugitives into Palestinian heroes. The Israeli military said the two men surrendered in Jenin, their hometown in the occupied West Bank, after they were surrounded at a hideout that had been located with the help of “accurate intelligence.” The prisoners all managed to tunnel out of a maximum-security prison in northern Israel on Sept. 6. The bold escape dominated newscasts for days and sparked heavy criticism of Israel’s prison service. According to various reports, the men dug a hole in the floor of their shared cell undetected over several months and managed to slip past a sleeping prison guard after emerging through a hole outside the facility. Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza Strip have celebrated the escape and held demonstrations in support of the prisoners. Taking part in attacks against the Israeli military or even civilians is a source of pride for many Palestinians, who view it as legitimate resistance to military occupation.
Jaw-dropping moments in WSJ's bombshell Facebook investigation (CNN Business) This week the Wall Street Journal released a series of scathing articles about Facebook, citing leaked internal documents that detail in remarkably frank terms how the company is not only well aware of its platforms’ negative effects on users but also how it has repeatedly failed to address them. Here are some of the more jaw-dropping moments from the Journal’s series. In the Journal’s report on Instagram’s impact on teens, it cites Facebook’s own researchers’ slide deck, stating the app harms mental health. “We make body image issues worse for one in three teen girls,” said one slide from 2019, according to the WSJ. Another reads: “Teens blame Instagram for increases in the rate of anxiety and depression ... This reaction was unprompted and consistent across all groups.” In 2018, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said a change in Facebook’s algorithm was intended to improve interactions among friends and family and reduce the amount of professionally produced content in their feeds. But according to the documents published by the Journal, staffers warned the change was having the opposite effect: Facebook was becoming an angrier place. A team of data scientists put it bluntly: “Misinformation, toxicity and violent content are inordinately prevalent among reshares,” they said, according to the Journal’s report.
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katsukikitten · 4 years ago
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camera?
ANON BB I SUMMON YOU. It's not really BNHA related but the sharp teeth and red eyes were inspired by Kiri. Let me know if it spooped ya!
I'm never without my camera, the sleek black box and shiny lens dangle from my neck like rare gems. 
Why you may ask? 
 Well as an artist and photographer I'm honestly afraid of missing the perfect shot. You know the one that can take hundreds of tries to get and yet it can be taken by pure chance. By pure luck. Although I hardly have much of that.
And to be honest I've viewed the world through a lens more so than I have my own eyes, at least ever since my grandfather gave me my first Polaroid camera. The vintage kind too, he had found the old thing hidden away in his closet. The exact same one he used to document my childhood with. 
So I used it to document my teenage years, grainy pictures of the moon and my friends in the middle of fields with an inky black sky. Their bodies illuminated more so by the bright flash than the quarter moon. Of parties I shouldn't have been at, of boyfriends and girlfriends I regret having. Still my walls were filled with memories like a picture diary and there were too many to take with me to college or to my new apartment but I always had my favorite with me, tucked into my camera bag that acted more as a purse. 
It was taken with older film, the type you had to develop in a black room and it was one of those lucky shots I was telling you about earlier. I had just received this particular camera for my birthday a week prior, something my aunt found while thrifting. To my delight it worked and beautifully at that. I had spent countless hours researching on how to get an "overexposed" shot, leaving the lens open to take in  just enough light that something in the dark could develop but not so much the film was obliterated. 
And it was the harvest moon that provided the lighting for my shot. Hanging low and wide on the horizon, a golden orb painting the field in silvery shadows. The trees a lovely contrast with their charcoal grey silhouettes as the field seemed to glow with an otherworldly worldly haze as the fog rolled in through the wheat.
There was an affinity to it, something that drew you in and yet caused your heart to pound in your chest. 
It would be years later that I would find out that the dark figure tucked into the tree line was not one of my friends wandering into the shot. 
But all in all my favorite picture won me a contest when I was 16 and it's the reason my parents took my passion more seriously. My parents and my grandfather pitched in to buy me my first digital camera from then on I, impossibly, documented things even more. Put myself in odd places for the best possible photo. Opportunities arrived in coffee shops, libraries and parks. Of people doing mundane tasks and yet all I saw was beauty in the way that they moved. In how the light from the sun could transfer deep brown eyes to molten honey or how an overhead light could cast menacing shadows across even the sweetest person's face. How it could keep the essence of nature so pure, of a wild deer just barely there in the fog, while a predator peers from the tree line. 
Not to mention the things film can capture, burn into paper to be forever kept, that the human mind so easily forgets. Trying so hard to remember that thing you promised yourself you'd never forget that the image comes out harsh, grainy, overexposed. 
So it shouldn't be a surprise that an overheard rumor has me standing in the cold in the middle of nowhere waiting for a wild wolf to be seen. 
A stupid idea I know but honestly I wanted the shot. Needed that photo of two golden moon eyes suspended in the darkness glaring at me from the brush. Or hell even its silhouette craned towards the sky in a never ending howl. And not for my portfolio or resume either. I just wanted it for me.  Besides the field the wolf was last spotted in was more like a second home than anything else. This was where I took my favorite photo after all.  
My phone buzzes from my pocket but I ignore it. Probably the group chat roasting me for looking for an "obvious Halloween hoax" and that I should be shit faced with them instead. I just want to see this damn wolf. 
Hours pass as I take photos here and there. I have one camera doing a time lapse of the night sky, as I do every Halloween while I flip through the images of my other. They all seem the same, missing that something, that feeling that makes the image awe inspiring. So I delete the majority of them until my camera freezes a little. Most likely due to the cold and its age. In my impatience I press the next button three times and once the camera begins to react again it flips through three photos much too quickly. 
It is only in my going back does the movement catch my eye. Something recedes, a dark something. I go back three photos and slowly watch the blurb that moves as I progress right. 
It isn't until twenty photos in does ice rush through my veins as my feet burn with instinct to move. To run.  
A black figure in the outline of man seems to be getting closer in every picture. 
Closer to me. But I didn't see him in the lens, I always see everything in the lens. 
My heart jumps into my throat. 
The last time stamp on the picture was only five minutes ago. 
Even if it were some random ass man why couldn't I see him now? According to the picture he was about fifty feet from me and yet my eyes saw nothing. 
Nothing but hazy whips floating about, moths fluttering towards their celestial deity and surely no God damn wolf. 
A...a smudge it had to be a smudge. To calm my nerves I wipe at the lens and tell myself to take another photo. I bring the view finder to my eye, closing them both as I take in a sharp breath. I hold it before opening my one eye. I peer into the small box and am relieved to see nothing. 
I should have stopped there, I know I should have stopped there. 
But I didn't, I don't.
The inky blank man is ever closer. There is a strange feeling that comes with staring at this broad shouldered man, his face obscured by the dim lighting and the casting of the shadows. 
An odd affinity. 
Ripping through my camera bag I find it, the old photo creased from age and slightly discolored from overexposure. It is then that you see the figure, clear as day standing at the fringes of the field, just barely in the forest. 
My breathing becomes hitched as I stare dumbfounded at the photo. That wasn't any of my friends standing there in that photo. It was….it was whatever was approaching me now. 
The hair stands up on the nape of my neck as my skin breaks out into goose flesh, I turn violently back around to face where a man should stand. 
I take another photo, somehow I thought it couldn't get any worse than what it was. 
But it did. 
He was close enough now that his features could be made out. The color of his eyes burn into my retinas, the iris are red, deep blood red. And his teeth, fuck, his teeth. Each tooth filed to a point that gleams in the moonlight as his lips stretch far too wide. I can almost feel them sinking into the tender flesh of my throat.
I let out an audible whimper as I stare at the photo, I cannot stop myself as I take another and another. 
Each of his hauntingly handsome features become clearer and clearer as comes towards the camera. His wolfish grin growing wider with each step, his eyes half mast as lust keeps his gaze fixated on me. 
One more photo, one more fucking photo and he will be right on top of me. But there was no one, nothing. Not through the viewfinder, not with my own two eyes, only in the small LCD screen in my hands. 
From what the screen says he should be within arms reach.
Honestly this, this is the real moment I should have stopped, should have listened to my racing mind and aching heart to quit while I was ahead. 
But there is always that hunger to get the perfect shot.
With shaking hands, I lift the camera, looking through the viewfinder. Irrational tears burn in my eyes and slip down my half frozen cheeks in liquid fear. A sob racks through my body, my finger hesitant to snap the final photo. 
The Earth slows on its axis as I watch through the little box, the shutter slowly falls across the lens, and his figure becomes seen in those quick milliseconds.
It should disappear as quickly as it came but it doesn't. 
"I've been waiting for you, doll." I feel his breath fan across my face, it smells oddly like cinnamon.
His velvet voice petrifies me as his large and clawed hand grabs onto my camera. He crushes it with ease, as if it were merely an empty soda can. 
"NO!" I scream, loud and drawn out as he grabs for me. His claws rip at my shirt as I fall onto my ass. Trying my damnedest to kick him anywhere but especially where it should hurt. 
But he acts annoyed as if I were a gnat to be swatted away. 
I try crawling away but he grabs onto my ankle, desperately I kick at his hand. Tears, rage and fear burning through my body as my gut fills the brim with butterflies. 
My mouth runs dry from screaming as I finally kick away his iron grip, swinging my arms in an attempt to flip over so I can right myself to go into a full sprint. He steps onto the small of my back, a sickening snap echoes around us. Amplified by the silence, I can feel the weight of his gaze, the smile that hangs from his lips. Pain blooms from by back all the way into the base of my skull, still I try to flail from beneath his boot. 
The struggle knocks over my tripod causing my camera to fall over. I hold the dead stare of the lens as I faintly see the horror painted on my face. The realization that this will be the last anyone will ever see of me. 
To confirm my fears he sinks his claws deep into my calves causing me to cry out. 
He begins to drag me towards the woods at an ungodly speed. I pull at weeds, branches, dirt, anything, as the camera documents what is possibly my final
moments. 
After a while I can only hope that I'm far enough away that the camera cannot see my bloody nails ripping away from my fingers in a pitiful attempt to save myself. 
It only took a matter of seconds to be swallowed whole by the pitch black forest. I don't remember what happened after that or at least I try to forget.
A week passes before a dog finally sniffs out my location. The officer looks solemn, his mouth set into a harsh line as his eyes bore holes into my items. It tells him all he needs to know. He hears a branch snap in the woods nearby, his dog whimpers, pulling his eyes to the tree line for a moment. When he sees nothing he places on gloves to sort through my items. I didn't bring much with me, just my usual that I always, always had on my person.
My camera bag, my other that was camera lying dead on its side and my prized possession. 
My favorite photo. The officer stares down at it, the fog blanketing the field, the moon washing the landscape in dim, eerie light. He squints at the image, it seems familiar. He thinks he recalls seeing it in the paper once years ago, except something seems off, although he can't quite place his finger on it. 
But I can. 
Instead of seeing one figure standing on the fringe of the trees, he sees two. 
31 notes · View notes
ryqoshay · 4 years ago
Text
Tri-Amare: Change Overnight
Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Words: ~4.6k Rating: T with implied off-screen M activities Time Frame: First year of college? Maybe second? Dunno yet Story Arc: Stand Alone
Author’s Note: Oh gods, why would I think it to be a good idea to add another iron to a fire I’ve been struggling all year to keep hot enough to produce works worthy of posting? I blame the adorableness of the first several episodes of the Nijigasaki anime; the others have been awesome in their own right, but ideas for this started brewing early. So I guess I’m writing a Niji fic now as well.
Ughn… Ayumu felt her nose wrinkle and her brow furrow as a dull ache in her head filled her slowly waking consciousness. Is this what a hangover feels like? Karin and Emma had described the sensations to her a while back after a bunch of former school idol club members had gathered for a celebration of something. For some reason, Ayumu had feared it would be worse, but then again, she hadn’t had all that much to drink last night. At least not as much as the other two…
Last night hadn’t been the first time any of them had consumed alcohol during a celebration, but Ayumu was pretty sure it was the first time they had actually gotten drunk. Just what kind of beer had Yuu brought last night?
The three friends had gathered last night to celebrate Setsuna’s first single as a professional idol reaching Gold status in sales and the top of the Oricon charts for a week. Ayumu had cooked, Yuu had brought drinks and Setsuna was told just to bring herself as she was the one being celebrated. Not surprisingly, she still ended up bringing something anyway, signed CDs for her favorite fans. It all had been a fun night, not all that different from many other nights except the lack of studying and a particular focus on Setsuna and her accomplishment.
Ayumu’s vision was blurry as she opened her eyes, but the pink she saw indicated the duvet was hers so this was her bed. That made sense, as they had gathered in her room, which again, was fairly normal these days as it was typically the cleanest of the three.
Black. And green. Wait… was that…? Ayumu blinked a couple times in an attempt to focus. Sure enough, Yuu was asleep beside her. It wasn’t the first time her childhood friend had shared a bed with her, but Ayumu still felt a bit of heat gather in her cheeks from the proxim… wait… Yuu was closer than normal. A lot closer. So close, in fact, that…
Oh gods…
Ayumu repressed a gasp as she realized that what she was hugging in her arms was not one of her favorite stuffed animals, but instead, Yuu’s arm. Geez, now she would have to figure out how to let go without waking the other girl, lest she be teased about it. Slowly, and ever so gently, Ayumu began the process of detaching herself from Yuu. However, as she did so, she became aware of another sens…
Oh gods…
Why were neither of them wearing pajamas?!
The temperature of Ayumu’s cheeks reached a boiling point. What the…
Breathing. Senses still kicking in, Ayumu realized it wasn’t just Yuu’s and her own breathing she could hear. There was a third. All but forgetting the fact that she was still attached to Yuu, Ayumu pushed up on her shoulder and craned her neck just enough to…
Oh gods…
Setsuna was lying on her side, mirroring Ayumu’s position such that she assumed the part time idol was hugging Yuu’s other arm. And of course, she didn’t appear to be wearing pajamas either.
Heat was now spreading down Ayumu’s neck. What the heck happened last night?!
Ayumu squeezed her eyes shut as she focused her energy toward piercing the veil of fog in her mind and recalling any sort of details from the prior night.
After dinner, the three girls gathered together to watch a recording of one of Setsuna’s performances. Ayumu and Setsuna had leaned against Yuu in the middle to get a better view of Ayumu’s laptop screen. It hadn’t been the first time the three had squeezed together to watch something, usually anime or idol related videos. It was so common, in fact, that the three had developed an unspoken routine to rotate who got to be in the middle.
What was unusual last night was the alcohol and a heightened sense of… something… Ayumu still couldn’t quite put a finger on the exact emotion, though it had probably been a mix. There was the all too familiar feeling she got when Yuu and Setsuna became lost in their own world while she was stuck watching. Throughout the concert, Yuu bounced back and forth between giddy fangirl and keen-eyed but friendly critic while Setsuna lapped up both the praise and insight like a happy puppy.
Thankfully, Ayumu had at least been able to get in a compliment or two of her own and had received in return several of Setsuna’s signature smiles, the kind that could ignite any heart with line of sight. Ayumu often wondered if the idol had any idea as to the effect of those smiles and if she invoked them intentionally or if they were just a natural part of her charm; Ayumu suspected the latter.
Still, something had continued to bother Ayumi. She hated to admit it, but it was likely the fact that Yuu had been completely focused on Setsuna to the point it felt like she had all but forgotten Ayumu was even there. Not that this should have come as any surprise, that was just how Yuu was when she was hyper-focused on one of her interests. Quite frankly, Setsuna wasn’t all that different, and when the two shared a given interest, a geeky feedback loop consumed them and it was often tough to get them back to reality. And idols were one of those shared interests. Not that Ayumu could blame them as she herself remained a fan, particularly of Setsuna.
Ayumu couldn’t deny her jealousy when Setsuna thanked Yuu for her help with composing the single that just charted, particularly because Yuu had responded by pondering the possibility of getting an internship at the same production company, which Setsuna had thought would be a good idea. This of course would mean the two would be working together and likely grow closer, which had reminded Ayumu of the decision she had made and that she still needed to tell the other two.
But then something had changed. The concert came to an end and Yuu had sighed. Then, saying something about nostalgia, she had opened a new tab and pulled up a different idol video. Ayumu had been surprised when she was suddenly watching herself on screen. A younger, school idol version of herself, but still.
Immediately, Setsuna had cooed something about adorableness which Yuu followed up with something about cuteness, or had it been the other way around? Not that it mattered as Ayumu had already lost the battle in keeping down a blush by the time the other two came to an agreement about her being even cuter now. Ayumu had sworn, years ago, that someday she would react better to such compliments, but that day yet to come. Thus, as always, she had found herself a flustered mess as the other two showered her with adoration.
Perhaps it had been the booze. Perhaps it been the desire to react differently. Perhaps it had been just giving in to a long-repressed desire. Perhaps all three… or probably… no, most certainly all three. In any case, the next memory that came to her was that of leaning in and pressing her lips gently against Yuu’s cheek.
Yuu had giggled her name in response and looked like she was going to return the favor when Setsuna had leaned in to plant a kiss on her other cheek. Ayumu’s jealousy flared again, but instead of pushing Setsuna away, she had pulled… and kissed her fully on the lips.
Oh gods… it really had been her that initiated all… that… Ayumu held down an embarrassed whine as memories continued to bubble up from the hazy depths of her mind.
Ayumu had realized what she had done and tried to retreat, but Setsuna had grabbed her shoulders and pulled them both deeper into the kiss. At that point, Yuu said something Ayumu couldn’t fully recall, but it had caught the attention of the other two girls. They broke off their kiss, turned and descended upon her.
At that point, Ayumu had no idea whose hands or lips went where, but she remembered the sensations. And the passion. Yuu’s gasps. Setsuna’s whimpers. And both of their moans. And by the gods she remembered how much she had wanted more.
Ayumu opened her eyes to see her two closest friends still sleeping soundly beside her. More… she still wanted more. Of course she wanted more. Yuu and Setsuna were more than just her best friends, they were the two she loved more than anyone, or anything else. Yuu, her childhood friend, on whom she’d had a crush for years. And Setsuna, who ignited something within both of them and changed the course of their lives before joining them for the ride as if she had always been there.
The three of them were practically inseparable through their second and third years of high school. And now in college, they’d gone so far as finding a dormitory with three available rooms next door to each other to make it that much easier to be together outside of class.
But now things were more complicated. Why did she have to do that? Ayumu chastised herself for her behavior the previous night. She knew better. Love triangles don’t last. They can’t. And they never ended well for the childhood friend.
Ayumu sighed. She thought she had steeled herself to step away and allow Yuu and Setsuna to be a couple. And she was going to do it last night, but Setsuna made her announcement at breakfast and Yuu immediately suggested a celebration that night. There was no way Ayumu was going to be the one to ruin the mood. Even if she wanted them to be happy, she knew her friends would want to console her and that would just bring everyone down.
“Nnn…”
A quite voice dragged Ayumu from her thoughts.
“Ayu… mu?” Yuu murmured, turning unfocused emeralds toward her.
“G-Good morning, Yuu-chan.” Ayumu managed to get out with minimal stuttering.
After Yuu yawned, Ayumu felt movement on her chest. Oh no! She was still holding Yuu’s arm! Yuu was moving it probably with the intent of rubbing her eyes or scratching an itch or stretching or…
“Ayumu?”
Oh gods! What to do? If she let go now, the movement would likely cause the duvet to slide away and reveal… But if she held on, Yuu would probably be able to feel… Oh gods…
“Why are you…”
“Kyaaa!”
A sudden scream came from the other side of Yuu and the duvet was pulled away. Setsuna, in her surprise, had apparently rolled backward off the bed. And taken the covers with her.
The next few minutes were chaos as the three girls scrambled to find covering while avoiding looking at each other.
“Ughnnn…” Yuu was the first to break the silence, which didn’t come as a surprise to Ayumu. “Anyone else have a splitting headache?” She let her head fall back onto the mattress from her position sitting against Ayumu’s bed.
“Mmm…” Came a meek reply from Setsuna who had backed herself into the corner between the wall and the desk. She clutched her knees to her chin as though to make herself as small as possible while not seeming to care what her position was revealing. Not that finding the skirt she had worn last night would have made much difference.
“Mine isn’t all that bad.” Ayumu admitted. “Do either of you want some water?”
“Yes, please.”
“Mmm…”
“Alright.” Ayumu got up to retrieve several bottles of water.
Upon her return, she couldn’t help noticing how cute Yuu looked in her pink shirt. Somehow, in their haste, they had ended up with the other’s top. It wasn’t the first time they had swapped clothing, but it was still rare to see Yuu in pink. Also, it had been a while, so doing so again felt… no, now wasn’t the time for that.
“Here.” She held a bottle out.
“Thanks, Ayumu.” Yuu replied with a tired smile. “You’re the best.”
Geez… she’s not making it any easier, is she…
Ayumu shook that thought away before making her delivery to Setsuna. “Here.”
After a moment, Setsuna looked up, then away, then down, and away again. The blush spreading across her cheeks was hard to miss. Wait, was she… Geez… Yuu-chan’s shirt is short on me…
“A-anyway, drink up, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu managed to get out as she pulled down the hem. “It should help a little.” That said, she made her way back to where she had been sitting.
Once again, silence descended upon the room.
Not good. Ayumu thought feeling a tension start to rise. Somebody say something. Please. Yuu-chan! You’re better at this! … … Geez…
“So…” Ayumu ventured.
“Mm?” Yuu turned her head toward her.
“Uhm…” Ayumu couldn’t help fidgeting with the hem of her… Yuu’s shirt. “What do we do now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… last night…”
“What about it?”
“Well, we…”
“The drinking, or…”
Yuu-chan, you can’t possibly be that dense! “Not the drinking.” Though I am still curious about that beer you brought.
“Oh, well…” Yuu rubbed the back of her neck. “I mean I wish I remembered it in more detail. But I remember feeling really good. And that makes me happy.”
Yuu was happy about it? That’s good right? Or does it further complicate things?
Yuu furrowed her brow. “You two felt good too, right? I hope I wasn’t the only one.”
“Y-Yes.” Oh gods, did it feel good.
“Setsuna-chan?”
The raven-haired girl nodded weakly.
“But honestly, who would have thought Ayumu would be the one to make the first move.”
“Y-Y-Yuu-chan?” Ayumu sputtered, feeling heat explode across her cheeks. Yuu was right, of course, but did she really need to say it out loud?
“And all this time I’d been holding back because I thought you weren’t ready.”
What.
“You were holding back?” Ayumu’s mind reeled at the implications.
“Well, yeah, I mean that kind of stuff is normal, right? Of course I’d want to do that with the ones I love.”
Setsuna’s head snapped up, causing her to wince, but she gritted her teeth through whatever her hangover had just dealt her before opening her eyes again to stare at Yuu.
“Love?” Ayumu ended up being the one to put a voice to what she assumed to be the shared thought of both Setsuna and herself.
“Of course, love.” Yuu’s expression seemed one of either confusion or annoyance, though perhaps a mix of both. “I love you two. I… thought that much was obvious?”
Oh… Oh no… No. No, that’s not fair!
“Ayumu? What’s wrong?”
Of course, now she decides to be perceptive.
Ayumu swallowed hard.
“I’m… sorry…”
Yuu blinked. “Sorry? What are you apologizing for, Ayumu? Because you started…”
“No! The truth is…”
“The truth is…?”
Oh gods, why did it have to be so hard to say? Would it have been easier to say it last night? Before they did… that?
“I’m… planning to move out.”
“What?!” Yuu practically shouted, pushing herself up to stand on her knees, before realizing it was a bad idea. Her face contorted and she fell back down to sit on her feet, but she leaned forward again anyway to continue. “Moving? Ayumu? Why? I thought you liked it here?”
“I do, but…” Say it. Just say it and get it over with. “I’ve decided that you and Setsuna-chan need your space to be a happy couple. I’m just getting in your way.”
Yuu moved her mouth but no sound came out as she stared.
“You’re not in the way, Ayumu-san.”
Both Yuu and Ayumu turned their attention to the girl huddled in the corner who looked to be on the verge of tears.
“You’re not in the way.” Setsuna repeated. “Even someone like me can tell that the two of you have pretty much been a couple since longer than I’ve known you. If anyone is in the way…” she took an uneasy breath “it’s me…”
“Setsuna-chan…” Yuu whined, collapsing back against the side of the bed. Her shoulders slumped with the weight of what her two friends had just revealed.
“I saw it right away, when I first met you.” Setsuna continued. “I saw it, and yet… I still fell for you. Both of you.” She tightened her arms around her legs. “While I was hiding my love of idols and anime from my parents, you two gave me a safe haven to truly be myself. And even when I could be more open at home, I realized how much more fun it was to share my hobbies with friends in person than with faceless avatars on random forums. And somewhere, amid all the time we spent together, I realized I couldn’t get enough, because I had fallen for you. But you two were already together.”
Setsuna paused as though still choosing the best words. “You know, I tried to walk away several times.” She made eye contact with Ayumu. “But you two just kept pulling me back in. And I kept letting you. And now… I guess I just wanted to hope that maybe my triangle would be different.” Her gaze fell back to the floor. “I’m sorry, I should just…” She let go of her knees and seemed to get ready to stand up.
“Wait.” Yuu stated. “Both of you, wait. Please.”
The other two girls turned toward her.
“I think…” She shook her head. “No, I know, I owe the two of you an apology.” She looked back and forth between them a couple times to make sure she had their full attention. “All this time, I’ve been thinking everything was great between us, that we were all happy together. I mean, I thought the main reason we got these dorm rooms, despite them being an extra station away from where we all need to go every day, was so we could live next door to each other and make seeing each other all the time that much easier.
“But I had no idea that either of you felt this way. I didn’t see it at all. So, I’m sorry. I really am. And I don’t care if it sounds selfish, but I don’t want either of you to go. I can tell you right now, losing either of you will not make me happier… Wait, now I’m confused. And maybe it’s just the hangover, but… You both wanted to leave because you loved me and wanted me to be happy with the other… Do you two not love each other?”
“What?” Setsuna seemed taken aback and pushed herself up onto her hands and knees to crawl a meter toward the others. “It’s because I also love Ayumu-san that I wanted her to be happy with Yuu-san! And I didn’t want to get in the way of that.”
Ayumu stared at Setsuna. The same. They really did feel the same. Why hadn’t she noticed it sooner?
“So…” Yuu scratched her head. “Ayumu, you love Setsuna-chan and me.” She pointed at her childhood friend but didn’t wait for an answer before moving on. “Setsuna-chan, you love Ayumu and me. And I love the both of you. We don’t want Ayumu to leave. We don’t want Setsuna to leave… What about if I left?”
“No!” Ayumu and Setsuna said in unison.
Yuu grinned. “Then I guess the only solution is for us all to stay together.”
Was it really that simple? “Can we really do that?” Ayumu couldn’t help asking.
“Why not?” Yuu asked in return. “We’ve pretty much been doing it already up until now; we’re always together, we go on dates constantly, we share cooking responsibilities, we stay over in each other’s rooms. Heck the only things we didn’t do we just did last night. Sure, we just uncovered a snag where you two each thought you needed to leave for the sake of the other two, but now that we’re all on the same page and know that the other two both want us to stay, we should be good, right?”
“It won’t be easy…” Setsuna said quietly.
“Relationships aren’t supposed to be easy.” Yuu countered. “They’re about working together for the common goal of being happy together. Sometimes it feels easy because the rewards are just that great, but other times you have to slog through and remember that the effort is worth it.”
Ayumu blinked. As romantically dense as Yuu often was, it was not completely uncommon for her to catch Ayumu off guard with some poignant bit of insight.
“And I believe you two are worth all the effort I can give.” Yuu flashed a smile. It was the smile Ayumu had loved since childhood, naturally confident and casually reassuring, and it never failed to make her heartrate spike for a moment or two.
As the other two remained quiet, Yuu decided to continue. “And you know, triangles are the strongest shape. That’s why they’re used so often in construction. Graphene is the strongest substance we know because of the triple bonds formed among the carbon atoms. Triangles are also the most stable shape. That’s why they’re used for tripods for cameras and stuff. And…”
Setsuna had started giggling about halfway through Yuu’s geeky rant, but now held up a hand. “Alright, alright, we get it.”
“But I’m serious.” Yuu insisted. “Just think about it, how much we behave like a triangle, how the sides are always supporting each other. Setsuna-chan, your passion keeps Ayumu and I motivated to do our best. And Ayumu, your reliability helps keep Setsuna-chan and I grounded so we don’t lose ourselves to our hobbies.”
“And Yuu-san’s support helps Ayumu-san and I keep our confidence throughout the day.” Setsuna concluded.
“Yeah, something like that.” Yuu nodded.
“Wait…” Ayumu spoke up. “Why do I get the negative one?”
“Negative?” Yuu tilted her head to the side questioningly.
“You two are positives with passion and support, but it sounds like I’m somehow keeping you from having fun?”
“That’s not what I meant at all, Ayumu.” Yuu shook her head. “By reliable and grounded, I meant that you’re kinda like a guide or a navigator or… Oh, I know, it’s like we’re a boat out on the ocean. Setsuna-chan is the engine or propeller that drives us forward and you’re the steering wheel or rudder that keeps us on an even keel. Can’t get to your destination all that well if you’re just drifting aimlessly without power or navigation. I know I’d still be drifting aimlessly through general studies if you two hadn’t been around to help power and navigate my journey through my music course.”
Ayumu smiled as the newer analogy resonated with her. However, “You left yourself out again, Yuu-chan.”
“I did? Oh… uhm, I’m… hrm…”
“Yuu-san is the hull that keeps us afloat.” Setsuna offered.
“The hull?” Yuu scrunched her nose.
“You’re definitely our hull, Yuu-chan.” Ayumu agreed.
“Alright, I suppose maybe I am the hull.” Yuu conceded with a sigh. “Although,” her gaze landed on Ayumu for a moment before settling on Setsuna “I don’t think I’m quite as buoyant as either of you.”
What did she mean by… Ayumu realized where Yuu was looking. “Yuu-chan!” She scolded, feeling herself blush.
Yuu burst out laughing. However, the bout only lasted a moment before setting off lingering hangover effects.
“Setsuna-chan, you should finish buttoning up.” Ayumu said, moving toward the other girl.
“Huh?” Setsuna looked down to find that in her haste to get dressed earlier, she had only secured two buttons on her shirt. Thus, from her position on her hands and knees, she had apparently been providing Yuu with a rather voluptuous view. “Eeeehhh?” She rocked back to sit on her legs and began fumbling with the fasteners.
“Here, let me get that.” Ayumu offered, reaching over the secure the buttons with a dexterity unhindered by a hangover. However, despite the action having begun in good faith, Ayumu found it difficult to resist stealing her own glimpse. Well… maybe if she wasn’t as blatant as Yuu…
“T-Thank you, Ayumu-san.”
“Sorry, Setsuna-chan.” Yuu offered. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you that much.”
“It’s fine…” Setsuna decided after a moment. “It’s not like you didn’t already see it all last night…”
“We’ve also visited hot springs together like a dozen or so times.” Yuu pointed out. “Anyway, still have any doubts, Ayumu?”
Did she still have doubts? She knew Yuu was right when she said that relationships were not easy, and whatever difficulties two might have, three would have to face that much more. But also, as Yuu had said, she was willing to do that work. And there was no doubt in her mind that Yuu and Setsuna would put forth the same effort. Because they all wanted the same thing, to be happy together.
Ayumu shook her head. “No. I’m just… really happy right now.”
“Good. And I’m happy as…” Yuu was interrupted by a yawn. “Ughn… either of you two remember what time we went to sleep last night? It feels like we woke up too early or something.” She yawned again. “Well, good thing it’s the weekend so I can take a nap.” She turned and started climbing onto Ayumu’s bed. “Either of you want to join me?”
“Do you think another hour will help with my headache?” Setsuna asked, crawling toward the bed.
“It should.” Ayumu replied, following the others. “Huh? Yuu-chan?” She found herself blocked from taking her former position as Yuu had already made it to the wall side of the bed.
With only a smile and a gentle touch on the arm, Yuu guided Ayumu down between herself and Setsuna. Oh, so sleeping arrangements were going to rotate like when they watched anime and idol videos together. She dismissed a thought that such a thing may not be best for one’s sleep cycle as she decided the three of them could discuss it if it became an issue, or they may just figure it out intuitively, like they did with their anime viewing.
Emerald eyes entered her field of vision. “I love you, Ayumu.” Yuu said quietly before pressing her lips gently against hers. Then as quickly as she appeared, she retreated.
Her mind barely had time to register the event before eyes of cendrée appeared. “I love you too, Ayumu-san.” Setsuna said in a similar volume before also pressing her lips to hers.
Ayumu stared upward in a surprisingly satisfying stupor as the other two exchanged affections above her. No flare of jealousy or laments of being left out disturbed her as she watched contently. She basked in the warmth as Yuu and Setsuna settled down on either side of her, taking her arms into theirs. She was happy. Very happy. And she realized she should probably tell them that.
“I love you two, Yuu-chan, Setsuna-chan.” Ayumu murmured.
Two pairs of eyes snapped open to stare at her. Was it really that surprising? Oh… wait… was that the first time she had said that to them? Certainly, it wasn’t the first time she had thought it, but… oh dear… Perhaps she should apolo…
Two smiles creased two sets of lips. Likely since they had already given voice to their feelings, the other two remained quiet. Setsuna tightened her embrace for a moment before nuzzling into Ayumu’s shoulder. For her part, Yuu shifted her hold so she could slide her hand down into Ayumu’s and intertwined their fingers.
No. No apology was necessary. They knew. And they accepted and loved Ayumu for who she was, even if this was the first time she had said as such in return for all the times they had told her.
Ayumu closed her eyes, took a deep breath and released it slowly. There would be plenty of time for her to give more voice to her feelings later. For now, it was time to relax and enjoy a peaceful slumber, snuggled between the two girls she loved.
This triangle would definitely be different.
Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post
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Mad, Bad, & Dangerous to Know: A Review
Today I will be reviewing Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know by Samira Ahmed. As always, there will be spoilers ahead, so read at your own risk.
~~SPOILERS AHEAD~~
Khayyam Maquet should love her holiday with her studious parents in Paris. But instead she finds herself at a crossroads - her sometimes kind-of boyfriend is ghosting, she may have blown her chance of getting into her dream college, and all she wants is to go back home to Chicago to figure out her life. 
But things change when she meets Alexandre Dumas, a descendant of her favorite writer. On top of that she finds letters to a mysterious woman, who just might give Khayyam another chance. 
Meanwhile, centuries before, Leila is trying to hide her love from the pasha, and survive as she is ‘gifted’ a position of favor in said pasha’s harem. As Khayyam begins to trace the threads of Leila’s life, the lives of these two women will intertwine as both lives are changed forever. 
~~TIME FOR MY THOUGHTS~~
I’m rather sad to say that I didn’t like this book. It felt like a chore to read, and my issues with the characters and the plot only made it worse. 
For starters, this book was presented as a feminist and poc narrative, but both protagonists spend the majority of the book bending to the will of men, and not even nice, respectful men. Being a feminist and hating all men do not go hand in hand, but these characters, and Khayyam especially,  are at the beck and call of the men in this story, above their own autonomy. Leila is not much better, making strong, well-grounded decisions and suddenly throwing them all away for a man despite the fact that it might very well get her killed. 
Another thing that wrankles with me is that, from what I can tell, this book has some good poc representation, especially in that of the two leading ladies. But Khayyam makes me feel like she’s ‘not racist towards the french’ in the way that Emily in Paris is a love letter to France instead of a bunch of Americans taking a shit on French culture. Khayyam is such a cool intersection of cultures, race, and religion (she’s French, Indian, American, and Muslim), and I think it would have been really cool and interesting to take a look at how all of these intersecting identities affect Khayyam, regardless of where she is*. 
Instead she spends so much time confused over which boy she should pick (she calls them ‘problematic faves’ - more on that later), that the story (these two women centuries apart coming together) that I came here for comes second. 
Back to Khayyam’s ‘problematic faves’, or more accurately, her use of that term. It makes sense that a seventeen-year-old would speak like most of gen z, however, sometimes the volume of gen-z buzzwords in what Khayyam is saying reminds me of Riverdale, and not in a good way (side note: is anything involving Riverdale good? I mean seriously, would anyone ever say ‘I beg your misogynistic pardon?’ unironically?). 
For a complete change of subject, where were Khayyam’s parents? Their few appearances are only to further the plot progression (and by plot I mean what should be the subplot of which boy Khayyam is going to pick), despite the fact that their daughter breaks and enters on multiple occasions. They let said daughter run around Paris with a guy that they met once (and the only thing they know about him is that he’s related to Alexandre Dumas), and though I appreciate that they are giving their daughter more independence, I’m a little concerned that they didn’t seem to fear for Khayyam’s safety at all. 
The story has such a cool premise, but I feel like so much of it is spent mooning over different men (almost entirely on Khayyam’s part by this point, since Leila’s major paramour died) that it takes a back seat, and could be lost entirely without really affecting Khayyam’s journey at all. I don’t see a lot of character development in Khayyam, and she sort of comes across like ‘i’m not like other girls’ in the way that Bella from Twilight isn’t like other girls. 
Later in the story, in an effort to prove that she really is feminist, and she doesn’t need men at all, her two love interests are demonized (which is fair, both of them are flawed, but given the fairly positive view that the reader has gathered of them from the previous 200-ish pages, it’s kind of out of nowhere), but that doesn’t erase the fact that Khayyam has been pining for the both of them throughout the book. I also think that Khayyam could have been a lot less damaging with how she handled the situation. She didn’t try to communicate sensibly and instead hurls insults at them until they both leave (In the case of Zaid, it kind of makes sense, he was not good to Khayyam, but Alexandre’s feels a bit less justified). I understand that given that she is 17, she may not be the most mature person in the world, but I think her outburst is kind of sudden and poorly handled. 
She chooses herself, yes, but at the cost of some, if not glowing relationships, then half-decent ones. I feel like the book fell into the common pitfall of ‘romantic relationships are the be all and end all of teen life’ which is simply not true. 
Khayyam is so focused on being feminist and defying the patriarchy in the present that she forgets that the whole point of this was to discover Leila’s story, and take down the patriarchy by telling it. The whole point of Alexandre appearing at all (his connections to the Dumas family helping discover Leila) is thrown out of the window when Zaid shows up, just like it has been for the last few hundred pages. Khayyam, and by extension Leila, are jerked around by men, the patriarchy, despite Khayyam’s whole deal supposedly being defying said patriarchy. 
Khayyam reminds me of how white cishet male authors write feminists - spewing all the relevant rhetoric until a man comes along and ‘fixes’ it. I guess the only reason that i’m so bothered by it is because this is presented as a masterful feminist story, but all Khayyam really does is say feminist things while she is a doormat for the male characters. It doesn’t even feel like quality observations, because she spews all of this hate towards famous men - not entirely without reason - but she doesn’t acknowledge the cultural influence that these men had. She does not separate art from artist from gender. 
Nevermind that these men are helping the plot move forward, and without them there would likely be no plot at all. Khayyam’s main personality trait is supposedly being feminist and not needing men, yet she consistently bends to the will of men for the sake of the plot or drama, both of which are in such contrast with how the reader has expected Khayyam to be that they feel almost physically painfully out of place. 
In short, I think that this book had a really amazing plot idea and a lot of things going for it, but the way is was executed in contrast with my expectations based on the synopsis and the author’s note make me feel massively let down. The book has pitfalls that while not always massive, are commonplace enough and reoccurring enough that I couldn’t ignore them, and subsequently couldn’t find myself enjoying the book, no matter how hard I wanted to. 
- Marigold
*note: I know that the race, religion, and/or cultural identity of a character, especially a poc character, should not be their only personality trait. However with Khayyam, I feel like it is not addressed in any way at all, despite the fact that within the first few sentences of the book it is put in a position to be a focal point. I just feel as though her saying vague things like ‘that lady was kind of rude to me’ leaving the insinuation that she (the woman) is racist, or ‘it’s paris so i probably won’t get shot by a cop’ (which is a fair thing to say, I just think that if you’re going to mention that you might as well add something to make me invested in that idea with regards to the character personally. That didn’t happen, therefore it feels very abstract; since she’s not in America, where such a comment would be most relevant it falls flat) really leaves out the audience and makes it hard for them to relate or sympathize with Khayyam’s struggles against racism. It feels performative, obligatory and perfunctory when it would have been such an effective device to get readers invested in Khayyam’s life, regardless of whether she was in the US or not. There are no flashbacks to help ground the things that Khayyam references, so it’s far too easy to forget that she said them at all, and that in her hometown she has a very good reason to be concerned for her safety (in special regards to the cop thing).
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ladypogue · 4 years ago
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Used to this (part 4)
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Summary: Ella hangs out with pogues and JJ is caught off guard. They both admit their feelings to themselves, but things get messy at a boneyard party when Ella’s friends try to set her up with a guy.
Word Count: 3.9k
Warnings: the slightest little bit of swearing, maybe some angst??? but other than that none :)
A/N: hello all! I am still eternally grateful for you if you are reading this story. I am terribly sorry for the late update, I started my first big girl job since graduating college so now I’m working full time so I’m limited on time to write (especially cause I do most of my writing at the late hours of the night) but i still love you and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! :)
Part 4
JJ and Ella’s relationship was starting to slowly blossom. The pair found themselves drawn to each other, even though both were terrified of what could come between the two. JJ was spending more time at the Wreck, keeping Ella entertained during slow periods of her shifts. When it got busy, he would sit back and just admire how she handled everything so smoothly. To most, sitting and watching someone work would be boring, but for JJ he found himself tuned her every movement, his eyes attentively trained on the way her lips curled into a smile as she talked to a customer and how her hips sways ever so slightly as she walked to and from the kitchen with trays of food. They usually hung out after Ella’s shift was over, at the least JJ would walk her to her car where they would stand and talk for half an hour before parting ways, just to text each other not even two hours later. The more time she spent with the Maybank boy, the more Ella found the walls she had built up around her heart, slowly breaking down. As for JJ, he had no idea how to process this and he was in a state of denial, telling the pogues that Ella was a just a friend and that was it. The pogues would roll their eyes at him, as they all knew that JJ was developing feelings for the girl, and deep down he knew it too.
It was a Friday afternoon and Ella decided to walk to the Wreck to pick up her first paycheck, luckily having the day off and the weather was nice so she figured she might as well enjoy it. Walking to the building and grabbing her check, she was greeted by her coworkers who were currently busing tables or bringing out food. Ella was grateful that she got along well all her coworkers, and that she had fit in nicely. She more nervous about that than she was about not being good at her job. Ella was standing in the kitchen talking to Mr. Carrera when Kiara came in a grabbed her hand.
“I’m just gonna borrow her real quick” Kie said, smiling innocently while looking from her dad to Ella. Ella was confused as she was pulled away from her boss, stumbling she turned around to face Kie as her father just laughed at the two, happy that Kiara had another friend that wasn’t the three hooligans she usually hung out with.
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Kie asked, her face lighting up excitedly.
“Nothing that I know of. Why what’s up?” Ella asked, still skeptical since her and Kie had never hung out outside of work before.
“We’re going out on the boat today and I want you to come with. Sarah can’t come and I do not feel like being the only girl today, plus it will give us more time to bond. So? Will you please come?” Kie was giving her best puppy dog eyes and it was hard for Ella to resist. Besides it’s not like she had anything else to do today.
“Alright I’ll come, but we gotta stop by house so I can grab proper boating attire” Ella laughed as she looked down at the clothes she slept in, consisting of sweat shorts and a large t-shirt. Nodding fervently, Kie grabbed Ella’s hand dragging her outside so they could make their way to Ella’s house and then head down to the dock where the boys would pick them up.
A short walk later, they make their way into Ella’s house and up to her room, Ella started rummaging through her drawers looking for a bathing suit to wear. Finally settling on a blue tie dye bikini, she went to change in her bathroom. Walking back out into her room to grab clothes to cover her up, she heard Kie whistle from behind her.
“Damn Ella, you’re hot. And I mean that in the most non-creepy way possible.”
At this Ella just chuckled, “Oh sush! Have you seen yourself?” Ella couldn’t help but admire Kiara’s natural beauty, subconsciously comparing herself to the girl, though she graciously accepted the complement.
“I’m serious! JJ’s not going to know what to do with himself today.” Kie said smirking. Ella felt her neck heat up at the mention of his name. She knew he would probably be there today, but was she ready for him to see her so exposed? Not saying anything, Ella just smiled to herself and pulled on a tank top and some shorts, sliding her feet into her sandals and grabbing a bag that she usually brought along to the beach, she looked back at Kie, “Ready to go?”
“Yes!! Let’s head down, I’ll text John B and tell him to come pick us up.”
The duo made their way down to the dock, laughing the entire time. Their friendship coming easy, making even the lulls in conversation comfortable. Growing up together, it’s a surprise that the two were never great friends before. They were always friendly with each other, but they never really spoke unless they needed to, maybe it was because the year Kiara took her kook year was the same year that Ella met Grace and Sophia, or maybe it was just out of the fact that growing up Ella was shy and reserved. But now, they both felt that their lives were better with the other in it. They were becoming best friends and they welcomed this new friendship with open arms.
Five minutes go by when they hear the sound of the HMS Pogue pulling up. Parking the boat at the end of the dock, John B held his hand out, helping both girls onto the boat.
“Ahoy ladies!” John B said once they were both safely on the HMS Pogue, making sure to salute them.
“Boys this is Ella, Ella that’s John B, Pope and you know JJ already.” Kie said, introducing you to her friends that she considers family, hoping that you’ll end up as a part of the group too.
“It’s nice to officially meet you.” Pope said extending his hand for you shake, John B following in his footsteps.
Smiling at the two boys, you shake each of their hands, “Likewise. I’ve heard so many stories of the infamous pogues so I’m excited to experience it first-hand.”
“Well I hope we don’t disappoint” John B laughed before starting the boat up again and heading out into the marsh for a day of fun.
JJ had been oddly quiet from the moment he saw Ella standing on the dock with Kie. He was caught off guard that she had managed to infiltrate his friend group without him, and he was a little upset at that. It’s not that he didn’t want Ella to get along with with his friends, but he just wasn’t ready to introduce her to them quite yet. Obviously Kie would know her as they worked together, but John B and Pope, they were something else. Both of them like brothers to JJ, but that doesn’t change the fact that they were both good looking guys with great personalities and JJ feared that Ella would like them more than him. It was a dumb fear because Ella didn’t seem like that type of girl, but it had happened before, which is why JJ wanted to make sure Ella liked him, and only him, before he brought her around. Now that was ruined.
He sat at the back of the boat, watching her joke around with his friends, sulking. She looked so happy and carefree, that made him smile slightly, knowing she was comfortable in this setting. Sipping on a beer and admiring her from a far, JJ was certain she would become a pogue. The other three already seemed to love her and she them. Ella had barely looked at JJ since arriving, they made eye contact when she first boarded the boat but since then she’s only sent him a glance here and there, whereas he could barely take his eyes off her. But that was Ella’s personality, she gave her undivided attention to whoever she was talking to, a characteristic about her that JJ loved and admired. Looking back at the blonde, seeing him sitting alone, Ella smiled and made her way over to him, smiling and shuffling so she was sat next to him.
“Hi,” she smiled while looking down at her lap, suddenly the strings on her shorts very interesting.
“What are you doing here?” JJ asked, tipping his beer back and finishing it. It came off ruder than he had intended but he had to keep his armor up even more now that he wasn’t in control anymore.
Taken aback by the sudden attitude and shift in JJ’s demeanor, Ella replied cautiously, “Kie invited me. Said she wanted to hang out outside of work. Plus, I was excited to see you.” She mumbled the last bit under her breath, hoping he didn’t hear and think she was clingy.
Even though she mumbled, JJ still heard her, and he felt his heart swell. The fact that she was excited to see him put him slightly at ease, but he was still on guard. Not replying, he just nodded his head and grabbed another beer from the cooler in front of him, propping his feet up on the closed lid.
“Do you not want me here?” Ella asked, JJ could hear the sadness in her voice at the thought that he didn’t want to be around her. Which was a stupid thought because JJ would be more than willing to spend every moment with her, but that alone terrified him. Besides Kie, he had never felt this close to a female. Never had he had a connection with any of his hook ups, they were all superficial relations that only went surface level and never lasted more than a night or two. But with Ella, it felt different, even different from Kie. He felt like he could tell her things and there would be no judgement, that he could trust her with his life. Around her, JJ forgot any problem he had going on around him. She was his entire focus, it was like she put up blinders and all he could see is her. He wanted nothing more than to keep her happy because the sight of her smile and the sound of her laugh made JJ happier than he’s been in a long time.
“Of course I want you here. I just wasn’t expecting to see you and now I’m caught off guard because I wanted to be the one to introduce to my friends, not Kie.” He replied to her question, not sure if that was necessarily the best thing to say as he sounded like a control freak, but he was trying to be honest.
“Okay good, I was nervous that maybe you were getting tired of me” she smiled over at him gently. In which he simply glanced at her, taking in her beauty as the light reflected off of the water and onto her golden skin and replied, “never.”
--
Around three that the afternoon, the Pogues and Ella had returned to shore.  Parting ways with promises to hang out with them again soon, Ella started her trek home. Ella only lived about 10 mins from John B, but she was going to go see Grace and Sophia and they lived on the cusp of Figure 8, so it was closer to 25 mins.
Hoping in her car and heading to where her friends were, she pulled into their driveway and walked into the house. Knowing her friends were most likely in Sophia’s room, she made her way up into her room, and plopped on the bed where her two friends were already laid out.
“Hey where have you been? I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever!” Grace exclaimed, while rolling on top of Ella and pulling her into a hug.
“I’ve been working like crazy, but I have the rest of today and tomorrow off so I thought we could do something together.”
The three hung out on Sophia’s bed for majority of the evening, happy to be together again. They laid there laughing, sharing stories of their days and plotting their next outing. Sophia, the partier of their little group, informed them of another boneyard party happening that night. Wanting to let loose and have fun, they decide to go. Getting ready in record time, they arrive with the party already in full swing, with more and more people arriving by the minute.
Instantly getting drinks from the keg, the three stood around and scoped out who was there. Sophia and Grace were not only looking for themselves, but earlier in the week they had planned to hook Ella up with someone at the next party, they just weren’t sure on who. What they didn’t know was that Ella was still talking to JJ Maybank. As far as they knew, Ella had heeded their warning and had left it alone. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Ella was hanging out with JJ almost daily and while they were looking at guys to take home, Ella was looking at one blonde haired boy standing in a circle laughing with his friends, not a care in the world.
Smiling to herself, Ella let her mind wander to what could potentially become of her and JJ. She pictured them in a relationship, her standing in that circle with his arm around her waist, her leaning into his side and using him to keep her standing as they laughed at something Pope said. She imagined them curled up on her couch on a rainy day, her playing with the rings on his hand as she laid against his chest with the tv playing quietly in the background. She imagined his lips on hers, and how she would be able to feel them anytime she wanted. She pictured him standing on the dock, looking out into the water and her coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist from behind, resting her head on his back, peppering kisses along his spine. She thought about spending every afternoon like they had today, laughing on the HMS Pogue with John B, Pope and Kie. She could truly picture them being happy together.
Lost in her daydream, she hadn’t noticed that Grace and Sophia had picked a friend group they were going to infiltrate. Feeling someone nudge her arm, she looked up to see that her friends were starting to walk over to a group of three boys. They were definitely attractive, Ella had to admit, however they were no JJ. Ella was very surprised when Sophia and Grace hugged the three boys now standing in front of her as she had no recollection of knowing them.
“Ella, this is Jake, Eddie and Pat.” Sophia said pointing out each one respectively, “Boys this is Ella.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Ella said smiling, but then glancing curiously at Grace, as if asking ‘how the hell do they know them?’
Graced laughed at her friends confused facial expression, explaining that her and Sophia had met the boys while out in town running some errands one day while Ella was working. Grace and Sophia didn’t have jobs, so they spent their days running around doing god knows what, though it seemed to be spent flirting with boys. Nodding her slightly and turning her attention back to the group, Ella fell into conversation with Eddie. They talked about anything and everything, jobs, hobbies, pet peeves, anything they could think of they discussed. Conversation flowed effortlessly between the pair; as they laughed and joked Sophia and Grace internally high fived thinking, they did great in setting their friend up.
Eddie and Ella broke away from the group of their friends, opting to walk around the crowded beach. They drifted towards the edge of the water where they sat on a branch staring out into the dark. A comfortable silence fell over them as they sat there, both lost in thought.
“Can I ask you a question?” Ella inquired, looking over at the boy.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“How do you know if you love someone?”
“Well, for me, I know I love someone when I’m able to look at them and feel at peace. Just their presence alone gives me comfort, a stable feeling. There could be a storm going on around me, but as soon as I look at that person, I’m grounded, I’m safe. Also, when I genuinely enjoy being around them, but not just hanging out as friends. More like when we hang out, I don’t care who else is around because just knowing that person is there makes the whole time better. It’s hard to explain, but deep down you just know, if that makes any sense.”
Ella nodded, taking in every word that Eddie spoke, “have you ever been in love?” she asked quietly.
“Once.” He replied, not making eye contact with her, just staring at the waves breaking in front of them.
“What happened if you don’t mind me asking.”
“Nothing happened, I’m still in love with her. I know she’s the one for me, I knew it on our second date that she’s the girl I’m going to marry.”
Surprised to hear that Eddie was in a serious relationship, Ella spoke, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”
“I do, we’ve been together almost a year.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah, sorry if I lead you on.”
“Oh, you didn’t, the reason I asked was because there’s this boy and my friends don’t like him, but I think I’m falling in love with him. But we haven’t even gone on an official date, so I was just looking for some insight.”
“The best advice I can offer you is just tell him how you feel. Life is too short to not know and succumb to the ‘what ifs’. If you really want to know, you just gotta go for it. And as for the friends not liking him, if they’re really your friend, they would see how happy he makes you and learn to like him.”
“You are very wise beyond your years.” Ella stated smiling over at the boy, hoping they would stay friends as she very much enjoyed their time talking together.
“As are you young grasshopper.” Eddie chuckled, lightly shoving Ella with his shoulder, the pair laughing and continuing on with their conversation, both telling stories about the people that hold their hearts.
Standing not too far away, JJ saw the girl he was falling head over heels for laughing with some guy sitting by the water. He would recognize her smile anywhere and it pained him to see someone else be the reason for it. Seeing the guy she was with bump his shoulder with hers broke a little piece of JJ’s heart. He knew it was too good to be true. Why would she actually want to be with JJ? He was nothing short of a fuck up and had more issues than he could count. But what hurt the most is actually thought she liked him back. She laughed at his jokes even though he knew they weren’t funny. She smiled at him when she caught him staring, always staring back. She never told him to leave her alone when he bothered her at work, and never objected to hanging out after her shift. But maybe she was just being polite and didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Seeing Ella and the mystery guy get up and start to walk towards him, JJ quickly shook himself off and went to find someone who could distract him from his approaching heartbreak, not knowing that Ella had spent most of her time with the boy talking about JJ.
Rejoining their friends, Ella and Eddie had made a mutual agreement to stay friends but let Sophia and Grace think something could become of them until she could find a way to tell them about JJ. Thinking of the boy for the thousandth time that night, she looked around for his mop of hair and shining blue eyes, that she knows would probably be red rimmed from being under the influence. Finally spotting his golden locks, she smiled until she saw the brunette girl tucked under his arm. The girl had her hand pressed against JJ’s stomach as she stood talking to her friends. He looked unamused, tipping his drink back and taking a big gulp of it before looking straight at Ella and pressing a kiss to the top of the girl’s head.
Her heart ached at the sight, realizing her friends were right and that JJ was just using her. She had hoped that they had been wrong, and that JJ was actually as decent guy who would give her her first taste of love, not heartbreak. But her she was, trying to hold back tears and act like everything was fine as to not concern her friends. Sophia and Grace had drank more than Ella so they were oblivious but Eddie noticed her change in demeanor. Following her stare to the blonde boy, he whispered to her, asking if that was him. She nodded her head slightly, to which he then asked if she was alright. With a tear slipping from her eye, she shook her head no and started to walk away from the group.
JJ was not impressed with the brunette who was pressed against his side. He wished for nothing other than that it was Ella he had pulled close instead of the girl he couldn’t remember the name of to save his life. Ashley maybe? Or perhaps it was Kate? Either way it didn’t matter to him and he wouldn’t bother to learn it. JJ wasn’t paying attention to the conversation in front of him, instead he continued to watch Ella from a far. Watching her laugh with her friends, not even seeing the boy who couldn’t help but let his wander to her every chance they could.
Finally making eye contact with the girl he couldn’t get off his mind, he panicked. He did the only thing he could think of to show her that he didn’t need her, and that was place a kiss on top whatever her name is head while making eye contact with Ella. Upon doing that he realized what a mistake that was because he watched Ella’s heart break in front of him. He watched the way her smile fell, and her eyes seemed to well up with tears. His heart shattered even more knowing he might have overreacted and fucked everything up. He watched as the guy she was with earlier bend down and whisper in her ear after looking at JJ and her responding with a few motions of her head before running off. Not even thinking twice about it, JJ dropped his arm from the girl’s shoulder and started after Ella.
As he walked by the group she was just standing in, the guy who Ella had spent most of the night with grabbed his arm; “don’t fuck this up. She really likes you dude.” JJ just nodded, pulling away to go find Ella and beg for forgiveness.
-
Taglist: @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @agirlwholovescoffee​
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ancano · 4 years ago
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YoI Fanfic Recs
Okay so I just wanna share some love and show y’all some amazing fanfics that I have personally read and absolutely adored!! You’ll likely see repeated authors, either cuz I follow them on tumblr or cuz I’ll raid their uploads once I find one I really like. Also apparently I read a lot of A/B/O so if that isn’t your thing sorry hhhhhh
No particular order for these, just going down my bookmarks and history lists on ao3
Glitter & Gold by plisetskytrash and victurius (I just caught up with this one and oh my god I love it.) Summary - In a world where drugs, sex, and violence rule, Viktor Nikiforov is the king. As the Pakhan of the Russian Mafia (the Bratva) he is responsible for murder and mayhem across multiple continents and that’s just the way he likes it. The only problem is that a new leader has risen to power in America – known only as ‘JJ’ – and he starts to intrude on Viktor’s territory.Not only is that rude, it’s damn right unacceptable.So, Viktor sets out to find out as much about JJ as he can, including infiltrating the businesses he owns, such as The Kiss and Cry, a sleazy club that works as a front for an exclusive exotic omega strip club that only the richest and most powerful men can access. Naturally, Viktor has no trouble getting inside. Once he’s there, however, his plans are thrown out of the window when he spots a beautiful, young Japanese omega with chocolate-brown eyes and an ass to die for. There’s only one problem: Viktor swore he’d never mate an omega.Will Viktor manage to stay focused on his mission? Or will this omega break Viktor’s most important rule?
Eros and Agape by ImaTastyPorkCutletBowl and Spunky0ne (you’ll see a couple works from these guys in this list because they are *chef’s kiss* amazing) Summary - For as long as Victor can remember, Yakov and Lilia have protected him from being discovered to be an Omega by helping him to project as an Alpha. But at the Grand Prix Final banquet, he comes face to face with the man destined to be his husband.
NEXT LEVEL: Nights After Dreams by RipVanGabriel (this is a LONG one, I haven’t even gotten very far in it, but trust me it’s worth it) Summary -  The silver medal was hard fought and won, but now the stakes are higher than ever. Five gold medals loom on the horizon, but more importantly, the "life and love" within the gold rings. Yuri and Viktor's relationship grows as they get back on the competition road, and new complications rise with them. (Proper follow-up to the TV series; not AU, no crack ships, no weird shit.)
Wait! But, I’m not Yakuza! by ImaTastyPorkCutletBowl, SesshomaruFreak, and Spunky0ne (like I said, these guys, *chef’s kiss* I refuse to admit how many times I’ve reread the 2 chapters that are currently posted. I’m also the only person commenting on it last i checked which is a fucking shame, so y’all go comment on this amazing fic pls) Summary - The Katsuki family, except for the Hasetsu Katsukis, are the largest and most powerful Yakuza family in Japan, so it’s not surprising that poor Yuuri keeps getting mistaken for one of his distant relatives. On a trip to Russia with his father, Yuuri stumbles into a bar to avoid a group of rough looking punks, and he comes face to face with a beautiful, silver-haired exotic dancer. Things get crazy when Yuuri sees the lovely dancer being abused and steps in, only to get himself beaten into unconsciousness. He wakes in his hotel room and finds a note next to his bed…”Thank you for your kindness. I’m sorry those ruffians hurt you. It’s better you stay away. I don’t want anything else bad to happen to you. Vitya” He should go home. He should just forget the man, but Yuuri can’t help himself…Victuuri, intersex Victor, intersex pregnancy, lots of flustered Yuuri!
Love’s Requiem by Kashoku (gonna be honest, I don’t even ship Yuuri/Yuri, but I enjoy this fic) Summary -  If you had asked Yuuri in Barcelona if there was anything that could ever bring him down from the high of being with Viktor Nikiforov, he would have laughed. But when the living legend suffers a career ending injury, it brings new struggles to their relationship. Viktor begins to drown his sorrows, and Yuuri finds himself being pulled beneath the surface in a way he’s not sure he can survive.
you’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be by roserelease (this shit right here is my fucking bread and butter y’all. I can’t even express how much happiness and love this fic gives me) Summary - More than anything, Yuuri wants to impress his cosplay role model Viktor Nikiforov. But after a horrible start to a convention weekend, he panics and backs out at the last second to meet his idol. Normally this would be fine, except Yuuri discovers too late that there's a little Viktor related secret inside the con vlog his best friend filmed over the course of the weekend for him...It's fine, he thinks. Embarrassing, but not the end of the world. And it's not like Viktor himself will ever see the con vlog, so why worry?(Except then Viktor does.)
Paying For Poison by SaerenDPity (another one of my absolute faves that sadly only updates once every other blue moon but when it does update I feel overwhelmingly Blessed) Summary - "Skater Katsuki?" Yuuri's eyes widened as he nodded, and suddenly Viktor Nikiforov was clutching at his coat. He barely registered that his childhood hero knew his name, he couldn't think on that when Viktor's voice was on the edge of breaking. Desperation lined his every movement."Yes th-that's me. Um… Mr. Nikiforov… Do… do you need help?"Viktor shook his head violently and shoved his hand into Yuuri's pocket. Yuuri only had time to squeak before Viktor was backing away, breathing heavily. "Please… please buy me."…Years after Viktor Nikiforov suddenly disappeared from the public eye, he resurfaces at the Rostelecom Cup, desperate for help. And Yuuri simply cannot abandon the man who inspired almost every aspect of his life, and so, he makes the decision to do just as Viktor asks - buy his services as an omega for one night.
Drowning In Your Love by MysticLipstick (another rarely updated fic that I’m head over heels for. please feed me, I need MORE) Summary -  Victor Nikiforov has always gotten away with being a whore in college. Being the top athlete swimmer has gained him tons of attention, championships and girls. However, a cosmic encounter with Yuuri Katsuki has him questioning everything—including his sexuality. Yuuri’s shy nature and blatant disregard for Victor’s fame has Victor chasing him—something he’s never done, but Yuuri shuts him down. Completely.
November’s Secret by LanaBerry (I’ve reread this one about 5 times already tbh) Summary - Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it's you, then it's less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona.But it works a little too well.Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he's been loosely basing his new persona on for years.
The ‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ series by Reiya (recently finished rereading this one, always so fucking good) Summary - ‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’ A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.
With What We Once Had by MagicalMirai (this one is just too cute tbh) Summary -  They called it quits, over a year and a half ago. But even though he should have been expecting it, Yuuri can’t help but feel suffocated when he bumps into Victor at the Grand Prix final, whilst holding his son. The son... he never told Victor about.
Nerve Endings by Phyona (this one is next on the “to reread” list) Summary -  When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri's anxiety and Victor's secrets to find their balance.
Puppy Love by Phyona (another phyona fic and it’s just way too fucking cute tbh) Summary - When Yuuri gets turned into a dog, the last place he expects to end up is Victor Nikiforov's apartment. He learns quickly that the only thing worse than being his idol's pet, is watching him pine for someone else.Warning: Makkachin has recently passed away at the start of this story.
The Stars on his Cheeks by QueenWinterofLuna (this one was actually written for a prompt I personally requested and I absolutely adore it, even still) Summary -  A short drabble based on this Tumblr request from @napsushi: Can you write a fic where Yuuri discovers Victor has freckles and is just over the moon about it? This fandom needs more freckled Vitya.
This is all I can find and think of for now but if I remember more I’ll be sure to update it!!
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