lattewritings

[lattewritings]

Baby Blue

I wanted to write as Ha. He makes me feel good, feel lest like an empty husk, like my soul didn't shrivel up and die

I could never tell if she was asleep sometimes. Much like Podo Melanie loved the sun. She never told me out right but I kind of just knew.

I felt bad leaving her alone when I traveled overseas for clients. Despite being retired Melanie insisted she stay in New York. As I watched her I wondered what she thought. Thought about the world and ideas. Though the way she reponds to what I say is cryptic; annoyingly cryptic and fails to elaborate. At times they are very straightforward.

All the little habits of hers I would notice. intentionally or not. The habits of mine that she would notice too. Sometimes I'd ask myself how did I let this happen? Love is cruel is only anguish yet Melanie lives with me. Melanie isn't cruel. To herself at times but not to me. Not on purpose.

[lattewritings]

An art trade for @vinophidian who wanted DevilDad and Chalice! It's an adorable au where he adopts her and it's just happy bean moments! I had fun with those thanks Vin! ^^

[lattewritings]

Make me behave like an animal.

"ENOGUH-!" Melanie snared at her papa. Melanie never raised her voice but there was a point to be made here. "You don't get to decide, and you have no business acting like this."

Dmitri tall and rigid with sharpness stared daggers at Ha-Min who stood beside his daughter. His only living daughter. Someone he wouldn't trade for the world. Everyone always questioned why Eva even married him in the first place but they didn't know him like Melanie and she did.

While Melanie did speak highly of Ha-Min most of the time there were things she only told her parents. As charming and charismatic as he was it didn't phase Dmitri.

"He's a fucking prostitute," he said in Russian. His English was very broken. Only knowing Russian and Latvian he didn't bother with anything else. While he wasn't fluent in English he knew enough to get his brutal and calloused points across cutting Ha-Min down any chance he gets.

Hearing it out loud stung but her papa wasn't wrong. "You might as well just be another client-"

"You know I have a ridiculously low libido." Melanie shot back. He sighed and tightly crossed his arms. "And, that's not even why we're together."

"I don't want you to get manipulated, or be someone he decides he wants around." Dmitri tired hard to soften the way he sounded, always treating his wife and daughter with the utt most care and consideration for their feelings and individuality.

"Apologie!" Melanie demanded. "Ha-Min and I have face similar struggles. Does it kill you to treat anyone else besides me with a bit of humanity?"

"You know the answer to that Mel." Her papa said dead serious.

Ha-Min had been left mostly in the dark but from Melanie's body language and her fathers there was unwavering in his stance. Arguing about him, definitely. He certainly didn't appreciate being met with such hostility from her father but the patience he learned to work with was on his side.

"I've yet to know Ha-Min, was it? So unit I've collected more intel I keep that to myself." Dmitri said regarding the apology he certainly owed Ha-Min. That was his way of caving into Melanie's argument and entertaining her 'courtesan' partner. Begrudgingly going to make an attempt at knowing Mr. Lee.

"You're unbelievable. Wait till mama finds out." She said in English on purpose. "I will not allow you to speak like this to Ha."

[lattewritings]

If you say I'm "Too Much" then you're too little.

Ha-Min choked on his own blood, lying there as this man stepped on him. How he got into this predicament was a hazy story. Though, Ha-Min knew that Melanie would murder this man on sight for this.

"I don't appreciate all your excursions." Excustions as in the shady work Ha-Min did rooting rich fuckers. Rolling into his side he wasn't sure how much he could take.

"People like you deserve it－" BANG. The sound of a single gunshot made him jolt in surprise, so sure that he was the one who got shot. Out of all the things he didn't expect, it was Melanie to come through the door and literally shoot him on sight. It was so surreal to Ha-Min but his actions were catching up to him. Seeing Melanie going full detective mode was also surreal. Her eyes were tearful, angry but tearful.

The kidnapper collapsed, he was shot in the shoulder shattering the top of his humemurs. Perfect aim, perfect shot.

The gun in her left hand she made sure the area was safe before approaching him. Lifting him effortlessly into her arms. He immediately noticed her behavior, the way she assessed everything yet spoke nothing. He quiet tears.

"Mel- wait, that hurts-" He groaned.

"I'm not finished with him I promise. But you need an ER."

[lattewritings]

A little party never hurt no one.

"I learned my dramatics from my mama, Ha." Melanie chucked nearly falling off it in the hallway. They were finally done but Eva, her mama. wanted to really talk with Ha-Min, make sure he wasn't going to hurt her baby. Despite being in a relationship with him For nearly eleven years Eva was only now meeting him.

"Yeah?"

"She's worse by a lot." Melanie said sitting up. It felt weird having her prosthetics off. Two weeks the doctor said. "You know I'd never ask you to be my caretaker." A nasty rash begin to appear right before this event; the one that determined the future of an industry. "If this had to be a semi-permanent solution I'd quit being a detective all together."

Smiling, choosing to be here felt good for her. Melanie knows these people and they know what happened. They love her. Laughing purely because she'd been in this place before and it never felt cold; it simply wasn't possible.

Being here made her feel twelve years old again.

"You say that so confidently," he began. Of course neither of them wanted it to be a semi-permanent thing but Ha-Min would do it if she needed it-- if she let him.

"Ha, come on, I can do it. I might need a little extra help. That's all"

[lattewritings]

A scarf and my ring

Ha-Min approached the kitchen table with a silk scarf hanging from his belt loops. The scarf had blue roses and yellow background.

The table was round and rich from the morning sun. Sighing she set the newspaper down and glanced at him.

"What do you think, Mel?" He asked doing a three-sixty for her. Though he was also curious what was upsetting her.

Black trousers, his watch and cream button up that looked like silk.

"I like the colour choice a lot, it compliments you well." She said and smiled the roses were pretty. Pretty Ha. Pausing Melanie took a sip of her coffee. For a long moment she stared at him and his lovely outfits.

"You should style me someday." Melanie added resting her face in her hands. The table warm; it was only ten o'clock or so. Morning people.

"I can't read the newspaper anymore." Her voice dropped. "Does that mean I'm old?"

"We're both older," Ha-Min first reminded her before kissing the top of her head. "I'll take you to eye doctor today then and style you, how's that sound?"

He'd noticed that she was having a hear time seeing things, reading things.

"Oh, I used the right you bought me so it would be with me." He said, excited and showed her as the gems glistened.

[lattewritings]

V is vindictive to my heart

“You did what?” Ha-Min looked at me in shock. Though I wasn’t sure how to feel. I wasn’t going to necessarily defend this decision but I knew this might happen when I was making it. I didn’t know if I should tell him or not but I ultimately did. 

“I wanted to make sure, you know, I wasn’t talking with a serial killer.” I could feel my shoulders drop and I was ready for whatever kind of yelling I’d receive. But I was being honest. Maybe saying, “Oh hey, I did a background check on you” wasn’t the best way to go about it. 

For a moment the statue breaks and cracks so much I literally take a step back. I wasn’t scared of physical altercations but the sudden shift in demeanour chilled the air. 

“Did you find what you were looking for?” Ha-Min sneered as we stood in the middle of my dingy apartment hallway. “Are you happy?” 

I wince in pain as if I was actually stabbed. Like he knew anything about happiness. He acted like he’d tell me if I asked. I wondered for a split second if I really trusted him or if I still thought of him as a stranger. Someone I kind of spent my time with. If I could ever see him as anything else. 

“You’re funny. So reluctant to share. Not that I expect that. You’re funny.” That’s all. I couldn’t come up with anything else. Was I happy, Ha-Min? I don’t know. I think I was trying to exist without thinking about that concept. 

“You’re not the only one who did research. Ida Lenn is a millionaire. Rich beyond her dreams, I doubt her ‘charity’ event is even that.” 

I stared at him in shock. I never yelled at anyone. I haven’t yelled since I screamed and begged horrible men not to kill me. I didn’t yell because there was no point. Begged to keep my arms. He’s accusing my aunt of being dirty? 

“And you’re not-!? Ida is a good person. I would know because I’m not.” If my aunt was a bad person there would be no way I’d go to these events. “You’ve never even fucking met her!” His words broke my soul. He would never understand. The greed, the world I used to live in until I left. Ida was an activist and a business woman. My family had the money they did because of how hard they worked for it. 

“Rich people are cruel, Melanie. Exploitative and will do anything to stay in power.” I’d never seen someone so pretty be so angry. Ha-Min didn’t believe me when I said she was a good person. “They all are.” 

“You think I’m cruel?” I asked genuinely. “I might be an awful person but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that, Ha-Min Lee.” While I was certainly seething with anger I didn’t know he thought that way about me. When I looked at him all I was impressed, he was smart, pretty and maybe even kind. But when he looks at me Ha-Min sees a cruel rich woman. Isn’t it ironic that we’re having this argument in the hallway of my sad apartment. And, isn’t it ironic that we met at a local laundry mat because I didn’t want to buy a whole new machine. Oh how blind you are. 

“Why even be my fake husband then. If I’m so cruel.” Ha-Min laughed at me. Callous laughter in agreement. Did he really hate me? I couldn’t help but feel hurt— it didn’t make much sense that I was hurt. I didn’t have much of a reason. Yet his words ached. “I don’t need you. Go without me. Find your perfect clientele for your perfect job without me.” This was me stepping out of his life. Underneath all of my bones, deep beneath my ribs I hold my heart as it pumps blood to what’s left of my body. It’s small and holds contrast to the silver metal. The pinkish red. 

“I didn’t even want to be your husband to begin with.” 

“You’re vindictive and manipulative. I know your dirty tricks— I bet you kept me around to play with my feelings,” Narrowing my eyes, I had more where that came from. “I was honest with my inventions. You can’t even tell me something that’s remotely true.” 

[lattewritings]

O- and kinder than she credits herself.

Melanie's hands trembled at the sight of a poor child. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After years of knowing each other Ha-Min and Melanie only conversed with each other in Russian and Korean. English to only English speakers.

Paniced and horrified she asked yelled at someone to call a doctor.

"Ha, what's O- in English-?" Melanie said in Korean carefully lifting the child into her arms. Some kind of bombing had occurred.

Translating the phrase she tried hard to think where the nearest hospital was.

"You can have my blood. You'll be okay--"

[lattewritings]

Remember that night?

“Do you remember that night well?” I asked. We only had one night together. I know I do because I was dragging myself through the mud.

“Mostly. We were laying in your apartment just like this,” Ha-Min said and recreated it. It kind of felt like we were posing for a photograph. I wish I brought my camera. “Talking about the case and I could tell how frustrated you were.”

[lattewritings]

Aries to Virgo and back

Ha-Min glances at my hands as I wipe them off with some napkins. “May I?” He asks, to take a closer look. I hesitate but give him my left hand and rest it in his. The way he looks at it concerns me at first but I resist pulling away out of fear. I had the blessed gift to craft my hands the way I wanted them to be. I chose the metal and of course I was advised on the choices I should make. I have the blueprints for them in my apartment. If there was a broken mechanism inside the forearm part I could take off the wrist. I’ve taken the whole arm apart just to make sure I could put it back together without the instructions.

There are incredibly small gold veins that outline where some of the larger panels that open. Sometimes I didn’t even understand how it all worked. I was lucky though. Lucky to have money even if it felt like a curse. Ha-Min flips it over to see my palm, some of the metal that was once polished has scratches and signs of wear especially since it’s my left hand. There's black in between the spaces instead of gold and more distinct shapes.

“This is your heart line, and this here is the sun, very fiery for an aries.” He traces his pointer finger in a pretend line where my heart line would have been if there was flesh. Then pointing to the space below my ring finger.

“You know palm reading?”

“Not entirely but your hands, they’re so elegant, refined and reflect your beauty well.”

I couldn’t help but feel a bit of heat flush through my cheeks; even if it was real. Who knows what’s real anymore. Reality didn’t exist; this is fake; Ha-Min Lee is fake; he’s not mine.

This had to be him joking around right?

“Melanie, I mean it.”

[lattewritings]

I see you— in my coffee. Je suis désole, tellement désole.

I see you in my coffee and I'm sorry I ever made you cry.

I see you in my coffee and I'm sorry I ever made you feel unwanted.

When it rains I see you in my coffee; and I love it so.

I love it so when you add so to the end of your sentences.

You're standing here before me with tears falling down your cheeks; most times I never know why

Though when I'm the reason

I see you.

I see you in my coffee and I hope you never leave.

[lattewritings]

Oh darling, beautiful darling

Nai closed her eyes and held his face in her hands.

"Oh darling, beautiful darling. I'm doing well now. My birth might have been a mistake but had it not been I wouldn't be here."

Of course it hurt for the longest time knowing she just wasn't good enough, wanted by her own parents. For the longest time feeling like she was the reason her mother left. Mizuno at first didn't want a child but grew to love Nai. Both from carrying her and through the eight year gap.

"Of course it hurt know I wasn't wanted. But you want me, don't you?"

"Of course"

"So stop your nonsense of worries. I promise I'm always alright, and I will always be right here."

There were plenty of other people who wanted her in their lives. People who she touched their hearts.

[lattewritings]

Accents, Darling

1940??

“Why does everyone speak like this?” Referring to the transatlantic accent.

“Like what?”

“Like this,” Nai says, exaggerating her syllables in a silly tone. Shaking her Japanese accent completely. She loved her accent because she’d only spoken Japanese her entire life. The restaurant they were in was rather loud and sometimes Nai had a softer voice. “Like when people say what,”

Cillian leans closer and they touch cheeks.

“Speak a little louder please,”

“When people say WHAT” Nai chuckled, pulling away. They were sitting at the bar because it seemed less crowded here but it soon filled up. Neither of them drank any kind of liquor, maybe saki once in a while.

“OH, I SEE,”

“INDEED, COULD WE PLEASE FIND ELSEWHERE TO DINE?” Nai asked, picking up her velvet purse.

“LETS,”

[lattewritings]

I've been making some comfort redraws of my OCS with Gumball lately...

I've wanted to do these redraws since a long time ago...

Since some months ago I've been very stressed and felt comforted whenever I watch TAWOG. So now that I've been better I decided to just redraw my kids with these comforting fellas.... I think I'll continue these.. There's like a bucket list of what shots I'm gonna redraw c:

[lattewritings]

When (if) I'm gone

"I've got the ticket for the long way round, two cups of coffee for way. Oh I sure would like some sweet company.

I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?"

"Alright, I'm meeting a higher up in Salt Lake City so I'll join you"

---

When I'm gone. When I'm gone. I hope you miss me when I'm gone. I hope you miss me by hair, I hope you miss me everywhere. You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone.

It wasn't a sure thing that she was leaving but it was certainly a possibility.

Sitting beside him the train car she hands him her wedding ring.

"Keep this safe for me."

[lattewritings]

Just some dialogue.

and Mel being painfully awkward. Note this is NOT how you lore drop about your dead sister. “What’s your habits? one important thing I should be aware of.” Kicking the door shut with my foot, I lock it and b-line for the dining room table. “Um.” I begin. But, instead I begin with my prosthetics. “I hide my arms often, despite the fake relationship we’re up holding don’t touch my arms— please.” I say the please part softly.  “My sister, she's dead. Don’t talk about her.” I add.

“Noted-” I cut him off. 

“Don’t ask about the sister. She’s been dead dead.” I didn’t mean to say it so coldly but I wasn’t explaining this either.  “Maybe tell me something about yourself. . . or I can make up a lie. Whatever you’re comfortable with,” I quickly say. I was being awkward again. I couldn’t save that heavy information from slipping. I was also so so tired. 

[lattewritings]

i think i'll miss you forever,

“Do you like art?” His question was rather random but yes I did. I loved it so. I had a couple real paintings hanging up in my apartment. The rest were prints. I didn’t buy many though. Too expensive.

“Depends, I imagine you do too.” I reply sitting back in my chair.

“There’s an art gallery next Saturday if you’re free. . . I only ask because we should find at least something in common if not drinking wine.” He half jokes. I like his joke. But I did like wine. I preferred white over red any day.

“Ha-Min,”

“Yes?” He replies. He sounds more awake than I do.

“Did you mean to call me?”

“No, I wasn’t trying to call anyone, though. Never mind.”