#old man yaoi alert

[lookinghalfacorpse]

Okay now you got me really interested SO here's the itwall prompt: cphil and cdream doing scar care

well if you insist..... (context)

/dsmp /rp

"On your stomach, lad."

Dream chuckled at the gentle command, his robe hitting the ground as he shrugged it off. Commands like these were casual and comfortable between the two of them; Dream knew that he could disobey if he wanted. He usually settled on a bit of playful back-talk. "You could take me to dinner first?"

"I cooked your dinner myself three hours ago."

"Okay, fair."

Slowly, Dream lowered himself to the mattress, gathering a pillow in his arms and placing it beneath his chest for a bit of extra padding. The candlelight danced across the dramatic valleys of his skeleton and the rips and tears of his skin, casting uneven shadows across his pale back. The sun dropped below the treeline a while ago, and the arctic enjoyed a peaceful and windless evening. Philza proposed that they try a bit of anti-scarring treatment before bed, and Dream agreed to give it a try.

Philza removed a bit of dressing-- a piece of gauze taped over a fresher wound on Dream's side-- and Dream could feel Phil's weight shift on the mattress as he leaned back and observed.

Feeling eyes on him, Dream peaked over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You'd think I'd be used to seeing your scars by now." The lid of a container popped open. "But it still hits me sometimes."

"Do they gross you out?"

"Nah. They're just scars. I have them, too." From his limited vantage, Dream saw Phil's blonde hair spill over his shoulder, pooling at his collarbone. His hair was loose. He was dressed for bed. "I'm just... always surprised by how deeply humans can hate."

Dream didn't hate his scars. Well, he hated some of them. The worst of them were on his back. A bracket smile, drawn with unsteady lines. The word "bitch," written in a broken, brutalist font.

"I'm going to massage some silicone gel on the scars," Phil said, "in little circular motions. It might take a while, mate."

"Mm-hmm."

Dream flinched when Phil's fingers, cool from the silicone, touched between his shoulder blades. The temperature simply surprised him. Phil whispered a quiet "You alright?" before proceeding, and upon getting permission in the form of a nod, moved his fingers firmly across the expanse of a scar. It might've been the bracket smile. Dream didn't quite remember its placement.

"The pressure will help the edges flatten," Phil explained in a low voice, "and the jelly moisturizes it to help the discoloring."

The skin was sensitive. As Phil pressed his fingers in, the nerves responded by breaking into chills. Dream's next exhale was shaky.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you."

"No-- No, you're not. I-- fuck, it's just sensitive."

Philza recognized the effects of pleasure when he saw them. "Mm."

It took twenty minutes to finish the massage. Twenty long, vulnerable minutes of squirming and sighing, fighting back the urge to groan. Something about it was so primally satisfying. His skin has been begging for gentle treatment for months. Begging for Philza's fingers along his ribcage, his stomach, his chest, his hands. Even the deep scar along the edge of his jawline got Philza's attention. The slime of the silicone was cold in the winter air, but not uncomfortable.

The candlelight illuminated Phil's golden eyelashes. "Still alright?" he asked, his fingertips on a long scar across Dream's lower abdominal muscles.

Dream nodded, a small smile on his lips.

[alexlesuagz]

Guess what chat I’m Johnshiposting now

If you get the reference then you get some uhhh KombatKoins

[nazunacopium]

Old man actor yaoi

[lemonmangosorbet]

In preparation for AnimeCon London I’m having some of my most popular badge designs restocked! And if you can’t visit my table at the con, don’t forget about my Etsy shop! 🥺💕

LemonMangoDraws.etsy.com (link in my tumblr bio too)

[anzuhan]

[artificial-ascension]

The amount of times I see someone link being gay, young and transmasc to fandom cringe is... shocking... Like obviously there are young gay transmen in fandom. Fandom in a Tumblr sense is typically more of a "girl" thing. I was an fandom girl as a 14 year old and now I'm a significantly more well adjusted 18 year old man who is still into fandom and honestly, the shit trans guys in fandom have said about them is exactly what young girls into fandom have said about them only instead of just like, blatant misogyny over young girls liking things it's massive amounts of transandrophobia because making fun of trans men is ok when they're stupid fandom girl- sorry stupid fandom boys.

[that-one-malereader-enthusiast]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 • 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞

╰┈➤ 𝐈 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐞

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐱 𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐲

cw : MDNI - S2 Armand, journalist male reader, top male reader, switch Armand, sub Daniel, dirty thoughts, mentions of sexual interactions, nsfw, Louis is definitely third wheeling, sexual tension, fake rashid reveal, mind fucking, teasing, this is my old man yaoi, somnophila, Armand gets the old man pass, they eye fucked eachother so much, i needed a taste of these two sorry, when no one can do the work, you gotta do it yourself, power play, stalking, Armand is a creepy little cat, Daniels the confused German shepherd, my drabbles become so thought out why, consume at your own risk, not proof read.

You knew it.

You fucking knew it the whole damn time.

At first it was just a guess, just a joking remark made as you worked with Molloy with Louis interview. You didn't believe him when he spoke of vampires, but seeing truly is believing, and Rashid was the oddest guy you'd met. That sweet smile, those longing looks towards Louis, the way he almost seemed to be acting—

Oh but you found that out really fucking fast.

Spoiler alert, you can see the plot twist from a mile away.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

"Jesus Christ, it was about damn time! How obvious do you have to be before someone finally outed you as a vampire?"

Daniel turned to you in a somewhat shocked fashion, though he was mostly squinting towards you for some sort of half assed explanation you were going to give him, but Louis put his expression into words. "You...You knew?"

"Yeah, but to be honest, he wasn't exactly doing the best job at hiding it. I mean, even if he was trying to, it was a little too on the nose at the beginning. Also, not saying Rashid is a bad name, but you definitely don't look like a Rashid." You then happened to gesture to Armand who was now standing side by side with Louis. You knew you'd promised Molloy that you would tone it down, that you would stay tamer than normal for the sake of getting out of Dubai in one piece after everything was said and done, but now there were two vampires rather than the one. "Not to mention how obvious you are."

"Pray tell, how obvious was I?" Armand asked. So far he'd spectated and predicted you were just as childish as Daniel when he was younger. With eccentric thoughts and an active imagination. That you were simply in over your head.

Oh how wrong he was.

"Well, for starters...it never seemed like you were similar to the other servants? I don't think I dare even saw you wear a mask before, whether that be to simply hide faces or to prevent anything from spreading, I found that odd." You chimed. "Not only that but we've seen Louis drink from you, and yet someone as...lanky, someone who looked like a stick ready to break — no offense — but you walked away like it was nothing, while a Russian biscuit the size of a bulk barely stood for two seconds before falling out.."

Only then did you gesture to the other room compared to the one you were currently in. "Not to mention, when we caught you praying the other day, you prayed in the darkest side of the room. Even if you did walk past the light, it was briefly or almost unseeable. And God, from the way every time I turned to you and watched you practically eye-fucking Molloy, I wouldn't have been shocked to know that you'd met him before."

Armand's expression was unreadable, almost repressing his feelings. Especially after the last observation you'd made. He stood next to Louis who squinted in a questionable fashion while looking at you, and Daniel? He didn't expect you to suddenly come out like that, and so boldly, though that was simply your personality.

"Now, if you three don't mind, I think I'll go to bed early. After this whole fucking soap opera of a reveal, I have to probably prepare myself to take in whenever you came into Louis life and what the hell happened then." You dismissed yourself, not back towards Daniel as you made your way out. That stare Armand had given you that entire time was unnerving, but there was something behind it.

You then called out as you proceeded to make your way to your room. "And I hope that there's an actual Rashid! Or I will be very disappointed!"

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

God when was the last time you and Daniel had a good fuck.

Before the trip to Dubai, the two of you had different lives, and as much as you loved smothering the older man, you had a job as well. It was unfortunate that you two couldn't have your fun till after the trip was over, but at least Daniel noticed how irritable you'd started to get. After all, you'd been stressed before the trip and didn't expect things to take this long.

You groaned out as your hips slowly rocked into the others, his warm body against your own and lips kissing feverishly against his skin. You knew that he was trying his best to sleep, but you couldn't help yourself.

Not as if he minded, he's the one who agreed the two of you could atleast sleep like this.

"Fuck Danny, baby..." You rutted your hips up accidentally, causing him to groan out and nudge you as red took over his face, cheeks, even spreading to his ears.

"Calm down, I have to sleep for later so we can continue the interview.." He could feel your arms practically caging him, holding against the plushness against part of his stomach. Daniel could barely think with how tired he was, and you? You were full of energy at the moment, sleepy, but still energized.

"But you're so tight Daniel...so fucking...oh—" You slowly grinded yourself against him once again before finally giving in as he wrapped a hand back to run though your hair. "Needed this, bad. Felt like I was having withdrawals."

"From sex?"

"From you," you admitted. "And this tight ass..."

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The next afternoon, you and Daniel went to the small cafe to fill up before the interview, though he'd been chewing you out about your past behavior. How he knew you were always a stickler for believing in superstition, but to understand that these vampires were nothing to fuck around with.

You could have refuted that with the amount of evidence you had that those fanged people were hornier than a dog humping a pillow.

You joked about it, as if it was your second nature, but Molloy seemed more stressed out than normal.

"You're gonna get yourself killed in there, you know what they are, why are you pushing things so far?" He sounded annoyed at that point, watching as you rolled your eyes and tried to dismiss his emotions towards the situation.

"Jesus Molloy, you act like the world is gonna end."

"Maybe not, but you have no idea who these guys are. You don't understand how dangerous they can be. How dangerous they are." He urged on.

You laughed and continued eating the raw fish that was on your plate. "Sure," you drew out.

It was then that he stared at you. Molloy stared at you with that look, the look you knew all too well. He continued staring you down before you sighed and gave in. "Fine! Damn it, I'll be good! I'll tone it down! I'll...I'll play this little game they're trying to get at. But I'm only doing it because you asked."

"Look, I just want us to get out of this in one piece." He urged on, now poking at his food, appetite diminished from the idea alone. "I dragged you into this mess, if you want to leave, you can."

"Damn it Daniel, you know you didn't drag me into this, I wanted to come. Turns out the vampire bullshit was real after all, but you're dumb as a box of rocks if you think I'm just gonna leave you here. I'm going nowhere." You let out a chuff of a chuckle before nudging Molloy, giving him a reassuring smirk. "And I know that Daniel Molloy sure as shit won't let anyone outsmart him like this."

"Alright cocky brat, I hear you. Just be careful. Armand looked like he's two seconds away from ripping your head off last time."

"Oh, Armand would have already if he had the balls to do so. If anything, I think the real threat in the room is you know who..." Finishing the rest of your dish after popping the last piece in your mouth, you now gave Daniel the knowing look.

______ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

"Fuck, Armand—no wonder Louis loves to fuck you in his free time." You panted, watching as the vampire squirmed below you. You held his waist with a bruising strength that would normally feel uncomfortable for any human. But you knew that the vampire was durable. Heating his moan and mewl as your hips slapped against his ass, back arching up into you like a needy cat in heat. You didn't let up either, slamming into his body with brute force behind every thrust.

It was only then that you heard the mix of Armand and Daniels voice, gray haired individual cursing out as he gripped tightly onto the pillow behind his head. His glasses were gone and his face was flushed red as your thrust urged Armand to thrust into him. The vampire turned his head, as if trying to steal a kiss from you, pouting even. But you ignored him, leaning over to press your lips again Daniel's as his eyes fluttered closed, lashes dotted with tears and a muffled cry leaving him as Armand rammed his hips, almost in a jealous fashion.

Your fingers then found themselves threaded in the vampire's hair, only to yank his head back while a cry escaped his drool soaked lips. "You listen to me and you listen to me good. You think..you're all hot shit for a vampire, but I really know what you really are — Armand," you hissed out against the shell of his ear, dipping your head down before biting directly against the side of his neck. Your canines dug down into his tender flesh — not enough force to pierce — but enough to bite down onto the muscle below, knowing the skin would blemish and bloom due to your brutish actions.

The feeling alone made him cry out, hips stuttering between both you and Daniel. It was only then that you heard Molloy let out a gutteral noise in retaliation.

"You're my bitch in heat, understand?"

As Louis continued his interview, retelling whatever he could recall while letting Daniel read Claudia's entries, you kept your mouth shut and kept your comments to a minimum — as promised. But your thoughts, they ran rampant as you keep eye contact with Armand, watching as his eyes pierced into your own soul while peering into your mind. You could see a shift in his face features, his shoulders tending up as your expression stayed unchanging like a statue.

"Sorry to cut you off, I'm gonna step to the bathroom if that's alright. Lunch doesn't feel like it's sitting well," you addressed those in the room as you moved your notebook out of your lap and onto the table. "You good being alone in here for a sec Danny boy?"

"I'll be fine — and don't call me that, Jesus..." He muttered, shaking his head and overall dismissing you as he saw the shit eating grin on your face.

"Just askin' is all. Last time I left, I came back to you slapping Louis. Still never got an explanation for that one..."

"I assure you, nothing will happen to Daniel while you're away," Louis assured, giving you a genuine look to try and persuade you.

"Whatever you say," you stated, not giving the other stoic vampire the time of day after. Not a glance back or a thought for him to breach. Instead you left and got into the bathroom before starting the sink and splashing water on your face.

Even as you tried your best to hide it or ignore it, you could feel you growing erection making into a tent against your jeans, especially at your own thoughts. You almost dazed out back there and didn't even notice, but you knew that you'd finally hit the mark with Armand. With the way he was staring you down, you wouldn't have been surprised if he confronted you about such things.

It wasn't until you looked up in the mirror that you saw those predatory eyes stalking you again. By the time you whipped around, you were almost slammed into the sink, grinning as Armand grabbed against your throat. There was no real strength behind it, just a placement.

"Pervert, snooping through my thoughts even though I'm pretty sure Louis said that doing such a thing was off limits."

"He did not say such a thing," he quickly addressed, sneering at the grin that stayed in your face. "Who are you to have such thoughts about myself."

"You didn't say much about it. But to mention you seemed like you were enjoying it yourself pretty boy..." Your hand felt against his own groin, your grin only widening at the erection he seemed to pull as well. Watching as he stiffened up again made your arousal flare and his eyes seemed to soften. It almost looked as if he was trying to stop a noise from coming out with how fast his lips pressed into a thin line.

"I know one thing, Armand. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want something from me." Peeling his hand from your throat, you grabbed his face and pulled his closer. He did nothing to retaliate, almost melting at the semi rough gesture. "If you wanna be of any help while we still have time...I think you could put that mouth to good use."

To have Armand on his hands and knees? It was as if Christmas came early. But God, he looked absolutely divine as he slid down between your legs. You could only hope that Louis wouldn't mind sharing his immortal partner, Armand.

The vampire Armand?

More like Armand, your personal cockslut.

You could only wonder how fast he could be before one of the others came to look for the both of you.

__________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

[charlotteoccasionally]

reasons why kyman is canon (TRIGGER WARNING: KY//MAN, JOKING!!)

1. kyle continuously choosing to get in arguments with cartman instead of just ignoring him (which they have proof works) bc he gets his kicks outta being righteous

2. cartman saving kyle at the end of smug alert despite saying he hates him

3. kyle coming to help cartman at the end of jewpacabra

4. “my little monster” in its a jersey thing

5. cartman showing no denial/response when ppl think he and kyle are a couple in tonsil trouble

6. cartman making everyone think kyman is canon in cartman finds love (when he coulda EASILY found a different way to stop kyle and nicole from getting together)

7. cartman’s canon yaoi obsession (tfbw character relations graph)

8. kyle saving cartman in manbearbig

9. imaginationland trilogy.

10. kyle crying after finding out cartman was innocent after breaking his electronics

11. kyle’s response during his fight with cartman after getting with heidi (“cartman, YOU weren’t happy” instead of just saying how badly he treated her)

12. kyman hand holding in multiple episodes

13. cartman saying he loves kyle and tryna kiss him(?) in le petite tourette

14. kyle’s jealousy of heiman (ppl say it’s kyle jealous of cartman for dating heidi but we never saw any evidence that kyle liked her until AFTER they started dating)

15. the way kyle always chooses cartman as his stand in BFF when stan is outta the picture instead of anyone else/their dynamicness as a duo (crack baby athletic association, you’re getting old, ass burgers, prehistoric ice man, etc.)

16. cartman and kyle’s softening relationship as the seasons go on (compare “passion of the jew” kyman to an episode like “help my teenager hates me”)

17. the deleted “cartman + kyle” writing on the wall of the boy’s bathroom in stick of truth

18. kyman is just an inherently funny ship that if it actually becomes canon would kinda sum up the attitude of the show (m&t just don’t gaf)

[hrtsoldierboy]

[PT.1] — BUTCHERBOY HCS »

Small warnings: cursing, implied violence, implied sex, and old man yaoi >:’)

Pairing/s: Billy Butcher x Soldier Boy/Ben

———

———

When Ben and Billy started “dating”, both of them were actually really reluctant for two main reasons for both of them

For Billy, well, it was Soldier Boy of all people. And he’s a typical asshole bigoted supe! Didn’t stop him from getting that peepaw d though

For Ben, it’s really obvious. One, Ben was definitely NOT gay. And secondly, he absolutely despises Billy for making him gay

To be honest, they didn’t know exactly how they happened. But it’s probably because they both hooked up when they were both pent-up with anger

But who knows…

Both of them didn’t want to become public at all costs. One of the reasons being, yknow… MM..

But that didn’t stop Ben from being affectionate even in the slightest bit.

Same with Butcher too

Ben doesn’t share his liquor with the group at all but with Butcher? Yeah, both of them are finishing that shit in no time. Which, to Ben, is kind of a big deal. He doesn't share his shit too much

Butcher doesn't have too many clothes if he was being honest. Just his Hawaiian shirts, a sweater or two, some jeans, and his coat, but that didn't stop Ben from stealing his sweaters when Butcher wasn't wearing them

Both men don’t want to seem soft (somewhat for Butcher I guess, and Ben is a different story)

It didn't take long before the others found out (blame Ben for that)

As expected, none of them took it well, especially MM, but everyone else either accepted it or just didn't care much about it. Well, except for MM, of course.

Now, both of them are absolutely FREAKY with each other, that's no doubt

One round and both of them are definitely covered in bites (freaky old men, I tell you...) More than two rounds? Covered in blood, can't properly walk... yeah. Definitely freaky fucks

They aren't really cuddly, but Ben is clingy 24/7 when given the chance, even more so after they went public (kind of)

Like, kisses often, staying at Billy's side, sitting on the man's lap unprompted, more or less to Billy's dismay, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like it

In fact, Billy loves it, flaunting off his man like a proud boyfriend, even when it gets annoying sometimes

Ben still wants to have children but he doesn't know how to talk to Billy about it

Billy eventually notices that Ben wants to talk about something and finally sits with Ben to talk (basically, Ben cried but don't tell anyone)

Billy takes Ben to visit Terror, and Ben loves the lil' guy, asking Billy to get a pet right after they left

Billy pretty much agrees, and they now have an orange cat named Fuckface (Ben named her)

Butcher thinks it's cute that Ben is a softie for a random stray cat that they found on their way to adopt a dog at a pet store

And then the season three finale happens, but let's ignore canon! :3

In this AU, Butcher doesn’t betray Ben, but MM convinced Frenchie to help him try to make Ben go to sleep

Spoiler alert, it doesn’t work

Blah blah blah, all the fighting still happens and Ben is heart broken that it happened, but Butcher does fight with Ben

Ben doesn’t hurt Ryan btw

The Maeve and Ben explosion still happens, but what happens to Ben is different

Butcher goes out of his way to find Ben afterwards, and he does

Just in time, actually since Grace arrives not too long after

Butcher and Grace strike a deal with each other for Ben

Ben being under Grace’s watch (not in a box this time) while still being able to see Butcher

And Butcher doing missions for her in return

Obviously, Ben and Butcher also fight, as all couples do

Their most recent one being about Butcher being sick, Ben getting worried, Butcher refusing help, Ben being absolutely devastated that he can’t do anything but watch Butcher act weird and slowly dying (Grace did a check up, and yeah…)

Butcher tries to reassure Ben that he’s gonna be alright, that they’re gonna be alright

It helps Ben, but he still worries a lot

Moving on, both of them get jealous easily

Like, if a random person (guy, girl, or anything else), hits on one of them, the other one is definitely gonna act like they’re in the Omegaverse or something

When they’re mad at each other but totally want to get their Ds wet, expect some angry sex

The first time Ben realises that he loves Billy is when Fuckface and Terror were both playing together while Butcher was video taping them on an old camera

Ben was looking at him with pure joy, thoughts were running through his head, when he thought about how Billy is the man he loves

Ben doesn’t know what to feel about that at first, but he eventually accepts it because, hey, he’s an old man and he can love anyone he wants at this point

When Butcher realises he loves Ben, it was after they’d had sex

Ben was asleep, snoring away, the sun hitting his face at the perfect angle, and Butcher just smiled and thought

“I love my man.”

After that, things changed for the better

They were softer on each other now, only in private though because Ben didn’t really want to draw attention to himself that much anymore

When they’d both said ‘i love you’ to the other, they just cuddled with each other while making out

———

Aaand I think that’s all for now 😁😁 I’ll make a part two but with season four once I have enough motivation

edit:

And probably a part three with season five once it comes out, but that’s in 2026, so enjoy for now lol

Lots of love, hrtsoldierboy !

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[kaliido-s]

Well, the kaiju ship I ship most is Mothollante, but everyone’s already given their thoughts on that so yeah. Has a lot of the pros of Mothzilla with few of the cons, as well as the wonderful aesthetic of a genetically-engineered abomination and a goddess of nature. There’s also the obligatory puns about flowers and butterflies, and Mothra-based hurt/comfort and fluff which is one of my favorite kaiju fan plots.

Mothzilla’s… alright when handled in a certain way, but it’s a “the ship is fine but why is it everywhere” type of thing. And with the MonsterVerse especially, their relationship is better if it’s platonic. All in all, I don’t really ship it, unless a particular person’s take leans to the “humanity’s sins and nature’s virtues” aspect of both of them.

Gong’s pretty good. Tired old men being tired together.

Rodorah’s pure arson and anarchy and I value it for that, but no way is that dynamic anything approaching healthy. I ship it for the lolz.

I’ve jokingly shipped Legion from Gamera and Destroyah together before. Two big buff arthropod ladies.

Angzilla has the same benefits as Gong, really, but with more Showa craziness. I find Kongzillra to be a funny threesome, esp. because GvK would have been over in ten minutes if Mothra was there to slap some sense into Goji, to calm Kong down, and to alert the humans to Mechagoji/Ghidorah.

2MUTO is the kaiju ship I like second most, it gets points for being the only canon kaiju couple I can think of outside of the two OG Rodans, and also because I just love the MUTOs in general. Fr though, those two bugs were so sweet together, and I do think they had as much if not more chemistry than the human leads. Anyone who says that Femuto would have committed mate cannibalism on Hokmuto can face my wrath. MUTOs are clearly designed to fight, hunt, and live in pairs (therefore it makes no sense for her to kill and eat him), and it’s entirely possible they’re like crocodilians (i.e. female raises the kids and protects the nest, male brings her and the wittle babies food. Babies stay with the parents for several years until they can live on their own, and may stay within the parents’ territory for several more years. But now I’m going on one of my MUTO ecology headcanon rambles again…)

That’s all I can think of for now, have fun with these and have a nice day!

ooh this is a long one

- I think the funny thing about the hurt/comfort fluff is I only really like it with the Heisei Mothra. For some reason, maybe because she starts out as a larva, she always seemed a bit less like a goddess to me and more like a really caring person just fighting for what they love. While I read other Mothras as more closed off and unsure in social situations because of their attachment to world peace, Heisei Mothra feels more sociable and peppy, and thus capable of committed relationships

- continuing that, Mothzilla I have never really been a fan of, and I think Goji and Mothra being friends is far more interesting. They care so much and mean so much to each other, but it’s because they value their friendship, and neither of them have really had a relationship like that before. They started off as a business relationship and got closer over time, and I think their friendship is very sweet.

- Kongzilla is (usually) very relaxed old man yaoi and I like that a lot

- If you read my other previous ask about Rodorah, you’ll know how I feel about it. Very wacky very goofy very arson.

- Y’know what, I totally think Legion could get it. She’s pulled tons of arthropod ladies before.

- Again, relaxed old man yaoi, I like that a lot. For them it’s way more like, they’ve been friends for so long and have only gotten closer over time, and everyone’s wondering whether they’re official or not, and maybe they won’t say it out loud cause they don’t want the attention, but they are.

- I had a pretty brief Kongzillra phase and that was pretty fun. Mostly used for laughs and silly shipping dynamics where there’s no bad blood. They’re a power throuple.

- The MUTOs are so cute to me, the part where they meet each other in Chinatown, call to each other, nuzzle, and sync up their vocalizations when they kiss lives in my head rent free. It’s too bad Godzilla hates straight romance, because they were a very adorable and committed couple. (I also would be super into any MUTO ecology posts if you’re offering)

(this clip. this clip right here. the sound design, the cuteness, chefs kiss.)

[lemonmangosorbet]

5 days until Rakucon!

All my heart-shaped badges have been restocked in time for Rakucon - Simp Alert, Old Man Yaoi Enjoyer, and Old Hag Yuri Enjoyer!

Rakucon takes place on 12th & 13th August, Pendulum Hotel, Manchester 🦝💖

[wilsons-three-legged-siamese]

Okay! Day 3 of Old man doctor yaoi summer 2024!!

Prompt: ducklings

Word count: 359

Art form: fan fiction

Warnings: conflict

A/N: I know I posted this late and all but uhhh... Nobody cares 👍

"Do we seriously have to do this? " House whined, getting 6 beers from the fridge and setting them on the table.

He plopped himself onto the sofa, sighing and reaching for the bowl of popcorn in front of him.

"Yes! It'll be nice, as I don't know them very well, other than Chase, " Wilson answered, calling from the dishwashing in the kitchen.

House groaned and rolled his eyes, "can you at least cuddle with me? "

"What with an audience? They don't even know we're together! " Wilson yelled, turning off the water, drying his hands and sitting next to House

"Maybe we could tell them. "

House swung his arm around Wilson letting him snuggle into the elder, his face nuzzling into Houses shoulder. House ran his fingers up and down Wilsons upper arm.

"You're too stressed, dear, " House whispered, placing a kiss to Wilsons hair.

"You made these plans without me, of course in stressed, " Wilson grumbled. "Plus you're the one complaining! "

House muttered something until the doorbell rang. Wilson hot up, like an alert rabbit hearing a fox rustle in a bush. House rolled his eyes as Wilson stood up and made his way to the door, opening it and smiling.

"Welcome, welcome! " Wilson exclaimed, opening the door wider.

House looked back, looking at the Australian, bald and female as they greeted Wilson, stepping in and looking at House.

"Ah, House, " Foreman started, eyeing him.

"I- uh, " Wilson stammered. "Anyway, guys take a seat. "

The three people filtered in, House moving slightly so two can sit down on the other side of the sofa and another on the arm chair. Wilson placed himself in between House and Chase.

And so they watched the Titanic - as Wilson chose. Wilson himself and both Cameron and Chase were crying, sobbing even.

"But Jack could've fit on the door! " Fore shouted, gesturing to the tv.

"No because of he got on the door would've toppled over! Not to mention Rose would've died anyway because she had been in the water! " House explain matter-of-fact.

Foreman muttered something before crossing his arms and sucking it up. House chuckled in triumph.

"Yeah why didn't Rose die?. "

[feathergail]

my tav…. (and old man yaoi)

his name is casvir, he’s an oathbreaker paladin!! his whole story is just trauma upon trauma and like. it’s him trying to be a better person basically but spoiler alert! he just ends up going back to his old ways bc sometimes just having evil characters is fun

his relationship with astarion is… Interesting. it’s def Far from healthy to say the least lmao!! i mean, if you put two greedy and selfish people in a relationship, it’s not gonna be healthy sparkles and butterflies

but yeah that’s him!!! i eventually wanna make a bunch of tavs bc there so many more characters i wanna romance… esp lae’zel and karlach

[cloud-makers-make-pollution]

we're moots lol

okay this is gonna be a lot cuz he's like the main character or whatever

he was born uhh somewhere and he had a sister with a kid but their parents died so he and his sister had to take care of the kid. jean was a tree pruner but it wasn't enough so blud was like "screw it" and tried to steal some bread but was (of course caught and sentenced to 5 years for violent robbery but he was like "hell nah" and tried to escape like three times so he ended up with 19 years total and now the police (cough cough javert) hate him

so anywhizzle he does his 19 years and javerts like "ugh ig we have to let you go on parole or whatever" so jean valjean is like "yippee" and he's like wandering around tryna find a place to stay but ppl are like "nah ur a convict im not fuckin w dat" so now he doesn't have a place to stay but some dudes like "go ask the bishop he's really kind (WHICH THERE IS AN ENTIRE FUCKING SECTION ABOUT IN THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK)" so jean 👖 goes to talk to the bishop and the bishops like "yeah come stay with us" but the two nuns in there are like "ew he's a convict he's gonna rob us" but the bishop dgaf so 👖 stays the night but he wakes up at midnight-ish and is like paralyzed with the decision of whether or not to rob the bishop cuz bro's got a lotta silver so...

spoiler alert

he robs him

so 👖 is like running around at 3 in the frickin morning and the police catch him and take him to the bishop like "sir this dude just robbed u" and the bishops like "yeah ik also here take the candlesticks and become a better person" so the police let him go and 👖 is like "omg he just like gave me all this free silver and he also said that i need to become a good guy" so 👖 breaks parole (omg lawbreaker 😨) and goes back to his hometown (which is also where fantine lives lol haha coinkydink hahaha) and he sells all the silver (except the candlesticks those are like a reminder of the scene with the bishop) and gets an alias which was like "pere madeleine" or smth idk and we don't see much of him cuz victor chooses to tell us about fantine

when we come back tho, "pere madeleine" has become "monsieur le maire" and he's the mayor of the town and owner of the factory where fantine works. as the mayor he's like a really good guy and he brings the town prosperity!! yippee!! and all the ppl love him but they're kinda sus of him like "who's this dude and why's he so nice" cuz they're a little paranoid ig but anywhizzle he's walking around or smth and he sees fantine being assaulted and stuff and javert taking her in and he's like "hell nah not on my watch" so he heroically bursts in and is like "she did nothing wrong let her go" and he and javert go thru their old man yaoi but fantine is eventually released. javert is NOT happy bout it tho

one day, javert comes into the mayor's office and he's like "bro i messed up i thought u were a former prisoner who broke parole lmaooo anyways we caught the guy and his name is jean valjean (DRAMATIC GASP) and we're holding his court soon anyways have a nice day lolol" but the mayor (COUGH COUGH JEAN VALJEAN) is having this identity crisis about whether or not to go fess up and free the guy but he ends up doing it and there's a buncha detailed chapters about his trek to the town where the court is being held but we don't care abt that

so he shows up and everyone's like "oh that's the mayor or smth ig" they drc and he sits in on this random guy's court session and there's a buncha evidence about how this guys is actually jean valjean but the ACTUAL jean valjean is like "NUH UH BITCH ITS ME" and everyone's like "GASP!??!!??!" and so javert is pissed and tries to get him arrested but 👖 escapes cuz he's gotta get fantines child to her and that's about where i am in the book lol

i hope you enjoyed my rambling about jean valjean and sorry for the long read lol

– ⚜️

this may be even more beautiful that the fantine one

“anywhizzle”

new word alert motherfuckers this is awesome

I feel like maybe you should rewrite the brick once you’ve finished it just your version and see how well it does because damn this shit it great

also

… @k-is-for-potassium ?

is this you??

[startoshii]

RAAAAAAH OLD MAN YAOI

his name is aster roid/ aster , hes a silly alien and is melvinborg's assistant [spoiler alert they gay]