#old gay and tired

[braindouche]

Part of me wants to publish seriously again, at least as seriously as blogging might be, and talk about media and the internet and programming and videogames and all that extremely normal stuff. It would be good for me personally and professionally. But then I think about it a little more, I'm a woman who would be expressing an opinion on things like media and the internet and programming and videogames, and if the internet actually found out, the death threats would start manifesting like magic.

That keeps stopping me. Not the work to make stuff, the work of projecting my self into hostile territory. The very idea makes me tired, and I don't know what the solution is.

[rystiel]

idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼

[crazy-thing-called-rock]

My fiddauthor sketch page is finally done!! I’ve realized I’ve never drawn old Fiddleford before and I had to change that immediately. Let that old man be gay and happy!!!

If you enjoy my silly queer art, consider buying me a Ko-fi! <33

[clevercorvidae]

WAIT THE LAPTOP PASSWORD BEING STANFORD IS CANON?????? I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST A FANDOM WIDE FANON THING WTF??? GAY ASS INVENTOR

[boxerdandy]

[unsanctitude]

cracks open my coffin lid to show my newest disgusting old person furry

[eerycurlew53]

Just so we’re clear, everyone knows that Iceman is alive and (sometimes) happily married to Mav and still putting up with his and Roosters shenanigans?

[meanlesbean]

this is how it feels to be an adult in this fandom tbh

[thedukeside]

Five bucks the finale won't break a million views.

[rikunih]

I know this has been talked about like a million times already but i just can't stop thinking about it, and I'm losing sleep. Sooo i'll just keep parroting the same old stuff to get it out of my system, hehe.

The whole talking with Anna scene is so potent in its soriku parallels it's crazy. Even Sora himself brings attention to this. I want to bring up Anna singing this very specific part of do you wanna build a snowman. It gives such a good insight on how sora feels about Riku.

Sora wants to be close to Riku just like they used to, but he can't quite reach him.

Riku won't let him in. He keeps a wall between them. Sora doesn't understand why he does this. Which makes him confused and even a bit sad.

Sora wants to be there for him, to reach him and understand why Riku is so sad, but is unable to. due to a lot of stuff...like Riku having his guard up, a war and...uhh a romance fruit?? Little things like that. He also tends to forget a lot of things and keeps fucking dying or falling into a coma. Not helping his case at all unfortunately.

This sort of distance between them has been there since the 1st game but to me it seems to have grown especially by the end of Kingdom hearts 3. They still are in much better terms now. They fight along each other and are besties again after all. Two reeds are stronger than one or whatever the emperor of China said.

There's still a lot of unspoken things between them that need to be said, so a conversation is long over due. (Nomura please just let them talk things over for Christ sake It's been over 20 years!!!).

My train of thought ended here and i don't know how to end this...so uhh soriku kiss in kh4 BYEEE!!!!

Edit: i made so many typos its embarrassing

Ps. Also not to reach or anything (totally reaching) the last few lines of the song reminds me of Sora's breakdown at the keyblade graveyard.

[kyouka-supremacy]

I really wish there were more fics that delved into how Akutagawa's love for Atsushi is different from his love for Dazai.

Tbh I just wish Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai were acknowledged more and I'm only now realizing it's so weird how nobody really ever brings them up? while it's all so evidently there. I mean, considering Akutagawa to be / having been in love with Dazai is seriously a perfectly feasible, consistent, realistic way to interpret the text without any need to bend or stretch it. It just makes a lot of sense for how his character is portrayed - his obsession with Dazai, his devotion, his desperation to be acknowledged and approved by him - and I think it's quite the important piece to understand his character. His love for Dazai is a significant aspect of Akutagawa's character, and it also explains why he's always been so vulnerable to manipulation by Dazai specifically. In a way, I think Akutagawa being so unmistakingly gay is also coherent with the way he's completely indifferent and even oblivious to Higuchi's feelings for him that lie at the light of the day– although, please note, that's a slippery slope that can degenerate in apologism for the way he abuses her, so I beg to be mindful when considering that.

Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai are in ultimate analysis extremely relevant for how Akutagawa falls and acts in the sskk picture: Atsushi being not the first person Akutagawa ever fell for, so in a way him being more aware of his own feelings than Atsushi is; Akutagawa falling for Atsushi first (and harder), because at this point he already knows he likes men, he already knows what being in love with someone feels like. But at the same time I believe that it's so interesting to explore how his feelings for Dazai are different from what he holds for Atsushi. On one side you have Akutagawa's feelings for Dazai being passive: not in the way he doesn't act after them, of course he does, but in the way he's always passively subject to Dazai's abuse, unable to stand for himself, blinded by his devotion to Dazai and unable to really see the damage he's causing him. Passive in the way that he's created this image of Dazai in his mind, perfect, god-like, static and unnatural, that struggles to evolve and adapt to reality. Akutagawa's love for Atsushi, on the other hand, is aggressive: always actively trying to hurt the other, always attempting to make the other suffer; it really speaks of someone whom, all his life, has always associated love with pain. Akutagawa hurts Atsushi because he knows love means pain, and he hurts Atsushi because he can't allow his love for him to hurt Akutagawa again as deeply and painfully as it's done in the past. It's a little sad. Ultimately, Akutagawa's love for Atsushi being the push Akutagawa needs to get over Dazai at last, something I fear he never really managed to do up to - I believe - at least chapter 53: getting over Dazai as something he gradually achieved after the soul-searching he did during his absence between chapters 53 and 84. Chapter 84 being the one where Akutagawa willingly, readily said “no” to Dazai in a way that was so sudden and surprising for anyone who knows him and that is easy to interpret as Akutagawa finally starting to free himself from the influence Dazai has had on him up to that point. That's why Akutagawa's sacrifice for Atsushi is all the more important and poignant, because him protecting (and dying for) Atsushi was never for Dazai to begin with.

I always always considered Akutagawa being gay and in love with Dazai to be like. the most evidently queer thing the bsd canon has to offer (and maybe the “you know the reason yourself don't you”, but I guess that falls under the bigger category of “Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is a character that is gay”); but now that I think about it, nobody ever brings it up really. I can guess it's probably because most people - including people who like Akutagawa and ship sskk - ultimately sympathize with Dazai, and even where acknowledging the hurt he's done to Akutagawa, don't really like to dwell on it or explore the relationship between the two of them which is... legit, indeed. Still, I think their relationship and Akutagawa's romantic feelings for Dazai are a very important part of his character that shouldn't be overlooked when trying to accurately portray him.

And the rational part of my brain knows this can't be intentional, knows Akutagawa wasn't written to be read as gay. But there's another I'd dare say equally rational part of my brain that keeps speaking up to say the majority of his characterization - his devotion to Dazai, his (can I say? tender) sacrifice for Atsushi, his mistreatment of Higuchi - really starts to make sense only when you interpret him as gay. So, sorry???

[seekmemystar]

Bhool bhulaiyaa 3 missing out by making one of the women jealous of the other instead of making them both gay.

[sunfloweraroace]

recently I acquired an obsession with xmen (specifically the animated show) and what I’ve learned from spending time on Tumblr (and Pinterest) is:

Logan is in a relationship with anyone and everyone (at least in fanon)

Logan is a girl dad

scott eats soup when he’s sad

scott eats a lot of soup

[sleepy-aletheas]

I wonder why people turn Kaveh into a tiny guy that needs to tilt his head back to look up at Alhaitham as if he's a head shorter. Or turn him into an overemotional wreck that can't solve anything himself. Or he's portrayed as someone that does one mistake after another, and is more irresponsible than a five year old with scissors. Or is really mean, if not outright cruel to Alhaitham. Or just emotionally oblivious to anyone and his own feelings.

My guy over here is an alumni with honors; he's as tall as Alhaitham (or taller if someone cares); he's loud in volume and emotions, but he very much can be quiet and calm; he's gullible in the sense of trying to help others, but that doesn't mean he cannot be smart; and he's a grown ass man, no matter how babygirl-ified he can be, he took care of himself and his mother as a child, he lived alone as a teenager, and he is capable of living with someone else and actually live, not just survive.

Kaveh is very pretty, and wears his heart on his sleeve, and he's gullible, and has his silly moments. But there is a thin line between that and turning him borderline hyper-feminine, and take away all his smarts, and leave no emotional intelligence. Like, that's a new character, I don't know who that is. And then making him codependent on someone else (who is also mischaracterized to hell and back btw) and take all the nuance he ever had, until it reaches past the point of silly head-canons for AUs, only for it to become a Thing for people.

One of the highlights of his personality is the duality. It's the understanding and the stubborn passion; the friendliness and pettiness on equal measure; the liveliness and regret. He's not an endless crying mess, nor is he an eternal sunshine. He's Kaveh, he has his moments, he has his passions, he has his growth, he has his burdens. Stripping that away from him leaves nothing but a faint impression that could easily be called by another name.

Just. Please. Release Kaveh from the shackles of old yaoi tropes, I'm begging. He deserves so so so much more.

(The thing is, it can be fun dabbling into these mischaracterizations every now and then. We can do deep character studies by amplifying a personality trait, or give/take some at all. We can overexaggerate for a plot, or for artwork. But there is a moment, where these mischaracterizations reach such a widespread chokehold, that it becomes real to people who couldn't care less, and they run with this new version. Suddenly all the canon nuance will be switched out for fanon, any meaning the character had for certain objects or people will be turned on their heads, because no one listens to the source anymore. The silly guy that makes people fall in love with him for him will be replaced by an imitation that will always feel off. It's such a delicate balance of indulgence and preservation of the original, it makes everything complicated. I don't even know if I make any sense anymore.)

[mnt-artss]

ok fine. what if i said i drew something shareable and it was stanford pines selfship art. what then

reblogs epic.

[sinnbaddie]

Do you think they know the curvature and touch of each others bodies?