#old ass man.

[krissonlythoughts]

i got reminded of tsp

[corvid-khaos]

fionna and cake but simon drops increasingly wild anecdotes about his life

[lucidpeech]

against all odds, we all survived, together.

[mugiwara-lucy]

Kamala will make the FUNNIEST president in all of American history 😂

[shotmrmiller]

your superior finding out about the secret praise kink you didn't know had a name because you'd always been called an over achiever, a goody two shoes. never gave anyone any trouble, nose burrowed in a book since you had knobby knees and a library card.

you'd thought it normal that the apples of your cheeks burned when praised after giving your teacher the drawing you'd made for them the night before. that heat spread from the center of your chest up when your first boyfriend/girlfriend whistled at the sight of you outside of uniform. that warmth settles in your belly when you get a pat on the back from your platoon leader firm enough to force the air out of your lungs because you'd disassembled and cleaned a glock with the ease of a professional.

apparently it wasn't.

after weeks of training with the fabled task force, weeks of sharing elbow room with the team, weeks of soaking up the dizzying praise from the captain ("did real good out there, eh? can always count on you." you didn't question the throb betwixt your thighs, taking care of it with a cute little bullet like you've always done since joining the military)

you're confronted by the worst of the lot. ghost catches you in a break room, your back to him, hands clutching a cup of coffee that's more sludge than liquid, its warmth barely seeping through the styrofoam.

his figure fills the doorway, shoulders nearly brushing the frame. your first thought is that his brows aren't twisted together and he lacks that cold, blank look in his eyes so your death isn't in the nearest of futures. the second is that when he's not fully covering his face, the outline of his jaw is quite visible, looking sharp enough to cut.

then he crosses his sculpted arms over his chest, seams straining against the expanse of his muscles, head tipped to the side.

he moves with the keen curiosity of a predator sniffing around a newborn fawn, gaze intense yet inquisitive, assessing your every detail with a menacing interest.

"you ever gonna tell me you've a praise kink, bird?" the question sends a chill through your veins before turning into a fiery rush as it races at twice the normal speed.

praise kink? no. surely not. doesn't everyone like to receive compliments?

"sure. i don't mind gettin' told i've an impressive cock but that's bed talk. you look ready to bend over 'nd show us how slick tha' pretty cunt can get over a rufflin' of hair and a couple of empty words."

that has you positively reeling, fingertips cracking the cup in your hands, pulse on your neck fluttering. you feel a cornered, skittish animal, ready to flee lest your life come to an end in his maws.

but as usual, the cruel man more creature than person, twists the knife he's dug into you with a certain ruthlessness only he can muster.

"so be good for me, eh? love your praise? earn it."

you've always been an over achiever, proven once again by the way you take him to the root in one long, broad stroke with any complaints at the sheer size of him resting firmly behind your clenched teeth.

"tight little thing, spread open over me like you were meant for it. for me." he runs a gloved thumb over your swollen bottom lip. "there's tha' look. drivin' me bloody insane when you gave kyle tha' molten gaze. none o' tha' now, yeah?"

he creeps his ungloved hand down to circle your pearl with the spit-slick pads of his fingers, drawing in a sharp breath when your walls flutter and constrict around his cock at the feel of something other than your toy giving you the relief you need after a hard day's work.

"bloody fuckin' 'ell."

ghost claims a fistful of hair, pulling you closer to him, his breath warming the stinging, throbbing mark he bit onto the delicate skin of your neck. the shuffling of feet right outside the door snap you out of your daze, fingernails sinking into the bulging muscle of his chest but he has none of it.

he uses your hair to direct your focus back onto him and even though he'd only given you a leading tug you felt some strands of your hair come off with a pop.

"easy. can't see your pretty face when i'm fuckin' ya if your lookin' away."

your expression twists into what you hope is bliss when he bucks his hips, your whimper drowning out his groan when he hits on something new.

something you want him to keep hitting.

"exactly like i'd thought."

everything else blurs together after that, and only when you're back in your room using a warm cloth to clean yourself up do you remember the other things he'd rumbled.

(inside o' ya, make you mine-)

(-get 'bout bein' with anyone else-)

(-ll to myself-)

you touch your tender pussy with gentle fingers at what he'd said in the end.

(leave tha' f'me, he swipes your hand away, i'll get ya there, pet.)

if price's compliments take a nose dive off a cliff you don't notice because you're getting your daily fill of them and ghost after dinner every night. kyle keeps them to one word and soap likes to tempt fate as always.

[n0ahsferatu]

haven’t watched the star treks in five million years but this is what happened in In The Pale Moonlight right

(credit to @/sweepswoop_ on twitter who drew the original Labru meme!)

[mourningcttlfsh]

"you have to do your algebra homework right now or else you'll get a bad grade!!" ok but what if i didn't do it because not only does the teacher take weeks to grade things but i am also Extremely overwhelmed due to ALMOST ALL of my classes giving homework and having a test almost every three days and on top of that i have two online classes that i have to complete at least three assignments for each week and ON TOP OF THAT i am expected to be able to act like a regular human being when i am at such a low point right now and did you consider algebra is just really stupid and time consuming and if i end up going into the career/s i'm planning on i likely wont need this type of math

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

Bones when Spock isn't around: Jim, you can't possibly blame Spock. Our dear friend Spock? Our best friend Spock who never lies? He's just doing his JOB, Jim. How can you even say that???

Bones interacting with Spock himself: Raise your eyebrows at me again and I'll slice you open just to watch you bleed you pointy eared fuck

[mash3dp0tat0s]

another dump

[slutdge]

I like that the way you talk about middle aged men is almost misogynistic

slaps that old mans ass and says "youd be prettier if you smiled more"

[justaishy]

[aznisure]

“Side effects of a prefrontal lobotomy include, but are not limited to: altercations in personality, dementia, inertia, inappropriate social behaviors and emotional impairment.”

[thankstothe]

gay sex

[poorlydrawninstarsandtime]

an extremely normal heart to heart between two very mentally stable fellas.

[ids in alt]

[icarusredwings]

For anyone who cares.

Scott was born 1977

Wade was born 1973

Wade is 4 years older than Scott.

Think of all the jokes that can be made with this information !

"Wilson, cut it out."

"Tch! Kids these days! So disrespectful! You know back in my day-!"

[mischievous-thunder]

The way their brains work is itself a wonder