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lovelyaces · 3 years ago

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The whole world knows

tasm!peter x reader

hi lovely people ! i had this plot in mind for the past month or so, and i definitely went crazy with the word count. anyhoo, i hope you enjoy this as well

love, ace 🌷

also please feel free to comment your thoughts about it <3

The party was in a couple of hours, and the usual I’m not sure I even want to go phase was beginning to set in. Your best friend Claire was throwing the first party of the new school year, and begged you to come.

“Come on… I promise it will be fun. Not a rave, a chill gathering I swear.” she pleaded while holding your hands. “Plus the whole gang will be there, Amy, Pheebs and Simon… even Peter agreed to come.”. She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. You really should pick less observant friends. Ever since she picked up on your underlying feelings for Peter, she hadn’t let it down.

“You really have no excuse to decline. I made sure to plan it early in the semester so you won’t have too much of a workload.”

“Alright alright, you got me, I can’t come up with any lame excuse. I’m in.” Claire squealed and hugged you tightly “Oh thank you thank you thank you !”

“I do have one condition.”

“Shoot”

“Promise me you won’t plan some devious plan to set me and Peter up.” Claire could be meddlesome, although it always was with your happiness in mind.

“Oh I can promise you that now, not sure if I will actually follow through that promise tho.” she said laughing.

You loved her to bits so you knew you couldn’t cancel on her at the last minute. And knowing Claire, she would drag you there herself if it came to it.

So here you were, analysing your wardrobe, trying to choose an outfit that would compliment you and be suited for the uncharacteristically hot September weather. You finally landed on a jeans skirt and a square neck cream blouse you absolutely adored.

You were applying your lipstick when your phone rang. For heaven’s sake Claire, I am not ditching you...you thought. You went to pick up, not even bothering to look who was calling you.

“Yes Claire I will be there at 7:30 sharp as promised. You know sometimes you can be worse than my mom-”

“Not a nice way to talk about your lovely mother.” Peter’s voice surprised you. “And I would know that since I met her many times already.”

“Oh hey Pete”

“Hey you”

“Sorry about the mishap...” you said chuckling.

“No worries dear. Now, I was calling to let you know I am on my way to your place-”

“I...Did I forget we agreed to meet at mine ?” you asked confused. Surely you would have remembered if there was any sort of plan to see Peter more.

“No no don’t worry. I just thought it would be nice to go to the party together.”

“It’s very nice of you Pete. Thanks.” you were smiling so hard right now. He always was so kind and considerate. In the many many years you had known him, he always had had a nice gesture towards you. Whether it was flowers on your birthday or holding your hand when the street was busy, he made sure you were happy and safe.

“I will be at yours in about five minutes okay ?”

“Yep sure, see you then.”

And sure enough, Peter knocked on your door about five minutes later. You childishly ran to open the door, hating the fact that he might had to wait for you. There he was, standing on your doormat and looking ravishingly handsome. He did dress up a bit for the occasion, but without abandoning his original skater boy style. He was grinning when he entered your home, and he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Hello bug”

“Hi” you muttered. You were somewhat distracted, relishing in the feeling his lips left on your forehead. “Thanks again for picking me up, I appreciate it.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I selfishly enjoy walking with you.” There goes my heart, you thought. “Ready to go ?” he asked while handing you his arm to take. You stopped your heart from melting too much and got your senses back. “Sure. Lead the way Parker.”

The walk to Claire’s place was rather short, but it did allow enough time for Peter to ask you “So what made you cave ?”

“I’m sorry ?” you looked up at him with a confused frown look on your face.

“The party...” he chuckled, “I know you. You like outings with us, but not so much college raves. So what did Claire tell you that convinced you to come ?”

“Well, she planned it today because she knew I couldn’t use the I-have-to-study-card, and I thought it was sweet of her, so I said I’d be there.” you shrugged. You. You being here is what convinced me. “It’s always nice to have someone that cares about you.” you added while meeting his gaze.

“It is indeed.” he smiled back.

The rest of the walk was filled with you and Peter sharing your latest small life events and jokes along the way. You were about to knock on Claire’s door when it sprang open, revealing a very messy and stressed Claire.

“Oh god finally ! I desperately need your help, I can’t choose an outfit and the food is slowly burning-” she grabbed you by your forearm and dragged you in the apartment, before realising Peter was standing right here too, “Oh hi Peter, didn’t see you there.”

“Hi… want me to oversee the whole kitchen area ?” he offered instantly.

“Would you ? That would actually be perfect ! Thanks Peter !”

And with that she took your hand and lead you both to her bedroom. It was a mess, with her whole closet thrown out on the floor.

“Wow…okay, remind me again who’s coming tonight ? Or let me rephrase that : who do we want to come specifically ?” you asked while looking at the scene around you.

“What ? Why do you think I want to impress someone ? I’ll have you know, I could simply want to look nice for myself-”

“Oh trust me I know that.” you laughed at her rambling, “But I also know that this-” you were pointing at the chaos around her “-this is on another level. Even for you. So spill.”

“Okay okay, but no laughing alright ?”. You nodded. “It’s Simon...”

“What ?? Simon, as in our Simon ? When…? How…?”

“I don’t know alright. We talked a lot this summer and it was nice. He makes me laugh and I actually came back early from vacation to hang out with him. Then classes started and seeing him everyday… it just clicked. I like him, like really like him.” She was pacing through her room and then sat on the bed next to you. “You know what I mean ? I mean of course you do, you have Peter.”

“Shuuushh, would you ?” you whispered. “Yes I get what you mean but no need to tell the world about it !”

“The world already knows you fool. You guys look at each other like you are the only two people on earth. The world just wants to know who will take the plunge first.”

“Well it’s not going to be me… at least not now.” you mumbled

After choosing an outfit and catching up on the Simon situation with Claire, people started to arrive. You finally made your way back to the kitchen, nudging people out of your way. Peter was still there, beer in hand, in deep conversation with Simon.

“Hey guys, what’re you up to ?”

“Not much. It’s kinda hard to hear anything over the thousand of voices here.” Simon answered.

“Yeah Claire really outdid herself.” you chuckled, not a rave, my ass.

“Speaking of Claire, have you seen her ? It’s been an hour since I last saw her.”

“She’s on the couch with Pheebs… I think. At least that’s where I saw her 15 minutes ago.”

“Thanks guys” he said while leaving.

Peter leaned in to be more discreet, “I feel like I have missed a whole season here. Claire and Simon…?” Peter asked while looking at you inquisitively. You simply nodded, unable to come up with a full sentence when he was this close to you.

The party was going strong and you found yourself seated next to Claire and Amy, when a clearly tipsy Claire decided that it was time to never have I ever. Her statement created a huge commotion and people began to happily gather around her to play. You, on the other hand, were petrified by the idea.

Taking advantage of the chaos in the living room, you sat up and decided to find somewhere as remote as possible. You sneaked your way out of the apartment and decided to get a break from the crowd altogether by going up on the rooftop.

Peter was still at the party, passively drinking from time to time, to look somewhat interested in the game. He scanned the room looking for you, but couldn’t see you anywhere. Immediately, he stood up and began searching the whole apartment.

He was beginning to loose his cool, and tried to rationalise everything in his head. You had been gone for at least 20 minutes, and you weren’t in the apartment. You couldn’t have left the party like this, he asked Claire and she said she didn’t see you either. Come on Peter, you know her better than anyone else. And then he knew.

“There you are.” Peter’s voice startled you. You turned to look at him from where you were sitting. He looked so relieved, like he had lost the most precious thing he owned. “Never disappear like that again.” His tone was firm but soft as he walked to join you on the floor.

He really was a sight to behold, brown hair dishevelled and his shirt sleeves rolled up.

“You were looking for me ?” you asked, voice soft, surprise in your tone. You didn’t think you had been gone that long to be honest.

“I was ready to call the police and tell them to start a kidnapping investigation.” he joked.

“Now that seems excessive.”

“You’re right, I would have put on the suit and looked for you myself. I am better suited for the job anyway.” he quipped.

“I meant I was gone for barely half an hour.” you said laughing. “I didn’t think anyone would notice.”

“Come on bug, it’s you. Of course I notice.” he said while taking your hand in his.

Flustered, you looked right in front of you, trying to not loose your mind over the fact that Peter noticed you were gone and that he was holding your hand. Peter was also trying to think things clearly, but you looked like an angel next to him and he had been really scared when he couldn’t find you.

“You look breathtaking” he whispered.

“Stop it” you looked away from him, a blush creeping on your face.

“We definitely gotta work on your ability to accept compliments love.” Peter said with a smile.

“I don’t think calling me love is helping.”

“That’s a shame because I don’t intend to stop. You are my love.” He said it so simply. Like it was the most obvious thing ever. Your heart was about to implode and without a second thought, you placed your hand on his cheek and leaned in.

“I love you Pete.” There. Finally. You said it. You didn’t care about the possible consequences of those four words, you cared about Peter, here and now. He was looking at you like you were his whole life. You could only hope yours conveyed the same ardent feeling you had for him.

Peter closed the space between you two, kissing you so tenderly like you were made of glass. He then pulled back enough to utter above a whisper.

“I love you too, love.”

#tasm peter parker #andrew garfield imagine #tasm!peter x reader #tasm!peter fluff

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fernweh-writes · 3 years ago

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how about the slasher react to an s/o that who sometimes speaks during their sleep? (Have a nice day :3)

I talk in my sleep according to my family and best friend. My best friend said she had a whole conversation with me while she was in another part of her house and when she walked back into her room I was responding but I was also knocked out. Makes no sense, I still think she’s lying…

-Fern🌿

S/O That Talks in Their Sleep

Michael Myers

Michael has a fucked sleep schedule. The only time he sleeps is when he has to because he physically cannot keep going. Although, occasionally he will take a quick nap purely out of boredom. Other than that, you’re going to have to coax him into bed with you.

Because of this, it’s likely for him to hear you talking in your sleep all of the time. He does enjoy watching you sleep. You look so peaceful and at ease and the steady rise and fall of your chest basically has him in a trance.

Michael isn’t going to mention it to you or anything. It doesn’t phase him, in fact he finds it pretty amusing. It does make him wonder what you’re dreaming about whenever you say something really crazy though. He wishes he knew what was going on inside of your head at all times, even when you’re sleeping.

Bo Sinclair

Bo will find anything and everything he can to use against you. He knows the perfect mix of degrading and praise that will have you hating him and never wanting to leave his side. So of course, this is another thing he will be using against you.

If you try and deny it he’ll find a way to prove it to you. He doesn’t care if he has to stay up all night and record you. One way or another, he’s going to prove it to you or just make a scene and get you to drop it or surrender and just let him be right. He’s always right darlin’.

Of course he is also going to use this knowledge to embarrass you. He’s the king of mansplain, manipulate, manwhore and he knows it. Bo will tell you stuff you most certainly didn’t say just so he can get a reaction out of you.

Vincent Sinclair

When the two of you first get together, he is still very hesitant about sharing a bed with you. He can’t sleep with the wax mask on his face and even though he does care about you, he’s not sure that he’s ready to show you his face quite yet.

Because of this he won’t come to bed with you until he’s dog tired. Vincent will be asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, not waking up until the morning. So it’s unlikely for your sleep talking to be known by him for a very long time.

Once he gets comfortable with you and is with you while you fall asleep is when he will finally take notice. Even then, it’s very unlikely for him to mention it to you, he doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed. Besides, he thinks that it’s endearing listening to you say random things in your sleep. Some of the things you say are cute and others are just down right funny.

Brahms Heelshire

If you talk in your sleep he’s going to know about it within the first week you’re staying at the Heelshire mansion. He likes to watch you while you sleep and if it’s something that you do frequently he was bound to notice.

Brahms has very limited knowledge on people considering he has lived a very sheltered life and hasn’t socialized whatsoever really. It makes him wonder why you do it, so once he reveals himself to you be prepared for a bunch of questions.

Just don’t let Brahms know that you’re embarrassed about talking in your sleep. He’s a little shit and he would most definitely tease you about it just to get a reaction from you. Also uses it against you in order to get his way, so being made fun of becomes especially common during his tantrums.

Thomas Hewitt

This man sleeps like a rock. The world could be ending and he would sleep through it. Can you really blame him though? Thomas works his ass off to take care of his family, so he stays tired and always sleeps hard.

Because of this it’s very unlikely for him to even notice that you talk in your sleep. Especially if it’s more mumbling than anything because it won’t phase him one bit. If he does happen to hear you though, at first he thinks you’re saying something to him. Only when that something makes absolutely no sense does he realize you’re still sleeping.

Don’t worry about worrying over what you say in your sleep though, Thomas will never bring it up anyways. After all, it’s not like it bothers him considering it took him so long to even notice. On the rare occasion he does hear you he just thinks it’s cute and wonders what you’re dreaming about.

Billy Loomis

This one all depends on where you stand in your relationship with him. If you’re still dealing with that boy next door front he puts up then of course he’s never going to mention it to you. After all, a gentleman like him would never mock his s/o.

But if you’ve reached a point where Billy really is himself around you then congratulations he’s going to tease the hell out of you for it. Obviously he’s going to over exaggerate everything you say in order to make it better blackmail.

Definitely uses the “that’s not what you were saying last night” line in order to mock you. If you claim he’s lying then that’s just to bad considering he was the one awake and listening and you were the one asleep.

Stu Macher

Stu thinks that the things you say in your sleep are absolutely hilarious. Because he enjoys hearing the random things you say so much he never mentions it to you because then you would somehow try and stop, He’s not sure if it’s possible to just stop, but he’s not taking any chances.

Would be the type to write down his favorite things that you’ve said in your sleep. The list ranges from random things you’ve said he thought were funny to the sweet things you’ve mumbled about him without even knowing it.

One day he might just show you the list of phrases he has collected over time. Happily points out his favorite ones, he should make a hall of fame for your sleep talking phrases. Of course, he has to tease you once he finally tells you.

Jesse Cromeans

Jesse has cameras covering every inch of property that he owns. His warehouses have cameras but of course so does his home where you reside. After all he has to make sure the things that are most important to him are looked after.

So, anything you say or do will be caught on camera. Although you have no privacy, you only have no privacy with Jesse, He is the only one with access to the cameras within his home, no one else.

Unfortunately for you this means every embarrassing thing you have said or done has been caught on tape for Jesse to enjoy. While he is temped to tease the hell out of you for it, he ultimately decides against it. He doesn’t want you to stop doing embarrassing things just because you know that he is always watching.

Asa Emory

Asa watches you sleep pretty often so it doesn’t take long for him to pick up on your sleep talking. Even if it is something you don’t do often, he’s a very light sleeper. So if you start talking, it is going to wake him and you’re going to get caught saying who knows what.

He’s not one to really mention those sorts of things, But, if it is something that you do often then it means he own’t be able to sleep good with you next to him. He may care about you but he already doesn’t get enough rest as it is.

On the rare occasion he is home and the two of you fall asleep together, he waits for you to fall asleep and then goes to sleep on the couch to actually sleep through the night. Obviously he can’t get away with it for very long without getting caught. So his great idea is to guilt trip you and make it your problem.

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gatorprompts · 3 years ago

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𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .

from the 2021 album by lorde . drinking & drug references present . please amend wording where required !

THE PATH .

“ now i’m alone on a windswept island . ” “ if you’re looking for a saviour , well that’s not me . ” “ you need someone to take your pain for you ? ” “ we’re all broken and sad . ” “ where are the dreams that we had ? ” “ can’t find the dreams that we had . ” “ let’s hope the sun will show us the path . ” “ saviour is not me . ” “ i just hope the sun will show us the path . ”

SOLAR POWER .

“ i hate the winter , can’t stand the cold . ” “ i tend to cancel all the plans . ” “ but when the heat comes , something takes a hold . ” “ can i kick it ? ” “ my boy behind me , he’s taking pictures . ” “ come one , come all . i’ll tell you my secrets . ” “ forget all of the tears that you’ve cried . ” “ it’s over . ” “ it’s a new state of mind . ” “ are you coming , my baby ? ” “ i throw my cellular device in the water . ” “ can you reach me ? ” “ come on and let the bliss begin . ” “ blink three times when you feel it kicking in . ” “ that solar power . ”

CALIFORNIA .

“ i knew that’s it ; i’ll never be the same . ” “ now i’ve spent thousands on you , darling . ” “ oh , the hotels and jets , and i’d pay it again to have your golden body back in my bed . ” “ i don’t miss the poison arrows aimed directly at my head . ” “ don’t want that california love .” “ it got hard to grow up with your cool hand around my neck . ” “ but every time i smell tequila , god , it goes up in my mind again . ” “ it’s just a dream . ” “ i wanna wake up . ”

STONED AT THE NAIL SALON .

“ i love this life that i have . ” “ i wonder sometimes what i’m missing .” “ ‘cause all the beautiful girls , they will fade like the roses . ” “ maybe i’m just stoned at the nail salon . ” “ got a memory of waiting in your bed wearing only my earrings . ” “ we’d go dancing all over the landmines under our town . ” “ but the sun has to rise . ” “ i’m still crazy for you , babe . ” “ and all the times they will change ; it’ll all come around . ” “ oh , make it good . ” “ spend all the evenings you can with the people who raised you . ”

FALLEN FRUIT .

“ we had no idea the dreams we had were far too big . ” “ we will walk together . ” “ you’ll leave us dancing on the fallen fruit . ” “ we’ll disappear in the cover of the rain . ” “ took the great minds and the vapers and a pocketful of seed . ” “ it’s time for us to leave . ” “ how can i love what i know i am gonna lose ? ” “ don’t make me choose . ”

SECRETS FROM A GIRL ( WHO’S SEEN IT ALL )

“ only having two drinks then leaving . ” “ it’s a funny thing . ” “ thought you’d never gain self control . ” “ guess it’s been a while since you last said sorry . ” “ crying in the dark at your best friend’s party . ” “ growing up a little at a time , then all at once . ” “ everyone wants the best for you , but you’ve gotta want it for yourself . ” “ you can take ‘em if you want ‘em . ” “ these are just secrets from a girl who’s seen it all . ” “ remember all the hurt you would feel when you weren’t desired ? ” “ remember what you thought was grief before you god the call ? ” “ no one’s gonna feel the pain for you . ” “ you’re gonna love again , so just try staying open . ” “ and when the time comes , you’ll fall . ” “ your dreams and inner visions , all your mystical ambitions ; they won’t let you down . ” “ do your best to trust all the rays of light . ” “ welcome to sadness ; the temperature is unbearable until you face it . ” “ your emotional baggage can be picked up at carousel number two . ” “ please be careful , so it doesn’t fall onto someone you love . ” “ you’ll be fine . ” “ you can stay as long as you need to get familiar with the feeling . ”

THE MAN WITH THE AXE .

“ if i had to break it down , i’d say it’s the way you love to down . ” “ our shapes in the dark are the reason i’ve stayed . ” “ i thought i was a genius . ” “ it’s starting to feel like all i know how to do is put on a suit and take it away . ” “ they fill up my nights and then they float away . ” “ i guess i’ll always be this way . ” “ swallowed up by the words and halfway to space . ” “ but there , by the fire , you offered your hand . and as i took it , i loved you . ” “ the man with the axe and the look in his eyes . ” “ we’ve been through so many hard times . ” “ i’m writing a love song for you , baby . ”

DOMINOES .

“ i heard that you were doing yoga . ” “ just another phase you’re rushing on through . ” “ go all new age , outrunning your blues . ” “ fifty gleaming chances in a row , then i watch you flick them down like dominoes . ” “ must feel good being mister-start-again . ” “ i know a girl who knows another girl who knows the woman that you hurt . ” “ the whole world changes right around you . ”

BIG STAR .

“ everyone knows that you’re too good for me , don’t they ? ” “ i’m a cheater . i lie , and i’m shy . ” “ but you like to say hello to total strangers . ” “ i can’t believe i used to stay inside . ” “ but every perfect summer’s gotta say goodnight . ” “ i used to love the party , now i’m not alright . ” “ drinking in the dark , take me home tonight . ” “ baby you’re a big star . ” “ wanna take your picture . ” “ i toss up if it’s worth it now every time i get on a plane . ” “ i’ve got so much to tell you and not enough time to do it in . ” “ i’ll still watch you run through the winter light . ”

LEADER OF A NEW REGIME .

“ wearing spf 3000 for the ultraviolet rays . ” “ made it to the island on the last of the outbound planes . ” “ got a trunk full of simone and céline , and of course my magazines . ” “ i’m gonna live out my days . ” “ won’t somebody , anybody , be the leader of a new regime ? ” “ we need the leader of a new regime . ”

MOOD RING .

“ can’t seem to fix my mood . ” “ today it’s as dark as my roots . ” “ can’t seem to find what’s wrong . ” “ the whole world is letting me down . ” “ don’t you think the early 2000′s seem so far away ?” “ i can’t feel a thing . ” “ i keep looking at my mood ring . ” “ i’m tryna get well from the inside . ” “ they’ll have what i need . ” “ we’ll keep dancing till the mood rings tell us how we’re feeling . ” “ take me to some kinda place , anywhere . ” “ watch the sun set , look back on my life . ” “ i just wanna know , will it be alright ? ”

OCEANIC FEELING .

“ it’s a blue day . ” “ when i hit that water , when it holds me , i think about my father doing the same thing when he was a boy . ” “ we could go fishing . ” “ i think you’re an angel . ” “ you’re super cool . ” “ i know you’re scared . ” “ but all will be revealed in time . ” “ oh , look . the rays are in the bay now . ” “ can you hear the waves and cicadas all around ? ” “ i can make anything real . ” “ brain so hot , it’s a summer body . ” “ every day is blue and never cloudy . ” “ don’t look down . ” “ will she split a tab with her lover and laugh at the stars like her mother ? ” “ i don’t need her anymore . ” “ i got this power . ” “ i just had to breathe out and tune in . ” “ i know you’ll show me how . ” “ i’ll know when it’s time . ”

#rp help #lyrical rp starters #lorde rp starters #solar power prompts #q.

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going-dead · 4 years ago

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Phasmophobia

Danny was very sick of tourists coming to explore Amity park. Like very sick of them, especially the ‘ghost hunter’ ones. In the end they just caused more problems than the actual ghosts, getting in the way of the fights causing Danny more stress and injuries than normal. Not to mention they sucked at their so called jobs. He was pretty sure even a single elementary schooler of Amity was a better ghost fighter than all of the tourists combined.

But at the moment it was the dead of winter and probably one of the coldest weeks of the year. So only the stupidest of self proclaimed ghost hunters would venture out to hunt ghosts in weather like this. While it was nice not having to worry about danger prone tourists Danny still was miserable, he could deal with the cold just fine in fact he preferred the cold. The problem was that It was the holiday season, the worst time of the year. At least the ghost attacks were less frequent as they all prepared for the Christmas truce party.

Still he supposed it could be worse. His parents weren’t fighting as much this year, though that was probably due to the fact they were still treating him like he was made of glass half of the time after he told them about the whole half dead thing. Danny figured that was due to the fact they blamed themselves for the portal incident, causing them to coddle him to an almost tortuous degree. It was as if they expected him to disappear if he was so much as bumped in the wrong way. It had gotten a bit better at this point at least, if things continued as it did at the beginning Danny was pretty sure he��d rather have them still be shooting at him. Now they only tensed up when he left the house instead of not so subtly stalking him all day.

At the moment Danny was sitting on the counter in the kitchen with his mom while she was cooking dinner. “Danny dear get off the counter that’s where the food goes not you.” Maddie said shooing him off the counter with a spatula.

Danny floated off in a huff, “This is ghostphobic mom. The counter is a perfect seat.”

Maddie rolled her eyes, “The term would be phasmophobic, and no it’s not it’s; I don’t want your butt all over where I’m making our dinner-phobic.”

“Fine transphobic then.”

“How about asking you to set the table? What would that be?”

Danny mulled it over for a few seconds. “A reasonable request I suppose.” He phased his hands though the cabinets grabbing the plates. Honestly he could have just as easily grabbed them normally but he was still trying to get his parents used to him having powers. “Oh by the way Sam, Tucker, and I are hanging out tomorrow to celebrate winter break starting and school being out for two whole weeks.” “Alright sweetie, but be safe okay?”

“Of course I will be mom.”

“I mean it Danny, please.”

Danny sighed “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to text you regularly to let you know I’m safe. I’ll be fine and stay out of trouble, I promise” Maddie nodded seemingly plated at least for the time being.

The next day Danny was really regretting making that promise. The day started out so well too. Danny, Sam, and Tucker were walking along the park trail. Danny was walking a few steps in front of the other two, subtly making the path easier with his powers. The only people out insane enough to bear the cold were people who had to go to work and teens who were bored out of their minds.

“All I’m saying Danny is that if you want to choose that class you should choose a race other than human for once. Hellspawn would be the best option in your case.” Tucker argued.

“Says the dude playing the race for furries.” Danny shot back turning his head to look back at his friend.

“Hey! The beastmen race is a perfect fit for my class, they have an exp boost for trickery and magic skills it’s the best for playing a character who mains in ambushing with traps.

“Boys boys stop arguing. Danny will be fine playing as a human he’s just gonna have to spend more time grinding. Also he’s right, beastmen are so the furry option.” Sam cut in.

“Whatever, I just don’t understand why he always plays the most boring race in every game he plays. I mean why would you want to play as a human when you could be a fantasy race like an elf or something.”

“Well that’s easy for you and Sam to say you both are still hum-,” Danny was cut off mid sentence by his ghost sense and a glowing red circle surrounding the group. He hardly had a chance to go ghost before being fully enveloped by the light.

When Danny was finally oriented enough to open his eyes he vowed to never complain about getting motion sick while his dad was driving again if it meant he would never have to go through that awful experience again. It felt like getting sucked into the Fenton Thermos if it was the size of a straw and being spun in a blender all at the same time. He looked around seeing if his friends were brought along with him. And just his luck, of course they got pulled through whatever the hell that was too.

“Ugh, you guys okay?” He closed his eyes again and focused on stabilizing his core and getting the last of the nausea to leave.

“Bleh I think I’m gonna hurl.” Sam groaned from beside him.

Danny heard Tucker shift beside him. “Yeah I’m good, I guess all that time staying up late playing VR games kinda helped against motion sickness. Landed on my arm though so definitely going to bruise later. Where are we anyway?”

That actually was a good question, Danny lifted himself off the ground literally, using legs to stand was lame anyway. The sight he was met with was both confusing and surprising. Looking down he saw that the three of them were in some sort of red magic circle or something, with candles lit around it. Looking past that was the part that was surprising. He was expecting this to be the work of a ghost but standing in a circle around the three of them were six humans in different colored robes. He couldn’t recognize any of them though, they must have been from out of town or just total shut ins. He was pretty sure he recognized where they were though, it was the basement of an abandoned building next to the mall, Sam was super into urban exploring the year before and it was one of the first places she dragged the two boys to.

“Haha uhh hey didn’t know there was a costume party going on, I would have dressed up, looks like you got all the colored robe thing going on though. Would my hazmat suit work instead of a robe?” Danny looked at the group around him and cracked an uneasy smile. Maybe it was some sort of accidental ghost summoning or something, it wouldn’t be the first time. Though the fact it brought his friends along pointed to it either being on purpose or something much more powerful, or both.

The man in the black robe turned to a woman in a white one. “Why did the spell bring two kids along with it .”

Danny tried to ignore being called an ‘it’ not like his parents didn’t do it before they knew about his identity. “I’m not the murder clown and I do have a name you know.” But his words seemed to fall onto deaf ears.

“I did the calculations right if that’s what you’re trying to imply, as you can see the subject did appear in the circle as planned. We probably just underestimated how much power the sacrifice would provide with the addition of the solstice.” White robe snapped. Great, this was totally just what Danny needed at the start of his winter break. Not only did they seem like ghost hunters they were the crazy obsessed culty ones.

“Either way the goal was achieved in the end, we have the ghost boy.” Black robe pointed to two men, one in yellow and one in blue robes. “Take care of the two bystanders, but don’t kill them. After all we shouldn’t kill our soon to be followers.” Yeah that wasn’t concerning at all Danny thought.

The one in the yellow grabbed Sam and the one in the blue grabbed Tucker at the black robed man's command. Danny assumed that probably meant the black robed one was the one in charge here. “Hey! Get your hands off me you freaks!” Sam yelled, struggling against the man’s grip.

But Danny’s friends didn’t have a chance against people twice their size. Before either of them could struggle more the two men slammed their heads to the ground in almost unison, knocking them out almost instantly. It happened so fast all Danny would do is watch on in horror. He felt like he watched their now limp bodies for ages, their chests shallowly rising at least giving him the relief of knowing they were still alive. But the sight of small puddles of blood forming around their heads snapped him out of his horror and into a rage.

Danny placed his feet to the ground turning to look at the two in the black and white robes. “Why?” He seethed, “You said they were accidentally brought along when you were trying to get me here. Technically in a way this falls onto me. So tell me, why?”

The man in the black robe seemed taken aback from being confronted so suddenly. The woman in white didn’t seem to have the same problem, maybe they both were in charge? Honestly though Danny didn’t care at this point. “We will take over the little town you haunt. After we do that we will find out where all the ghosts are originating from and then make them into our soldiers so we can take over the country and then the world. To do that we obviously needed you out of the way since you seem to be the only one capable of combating the other ghosts that come into this world. Or you would just defeat our pawns before they could take true action. So we found a way to summon and trap ghosts, then brought you here so we could get you out of our way.”

Honestly Danny was disappointed hearing that more than anything, his rage almost completely disappeared after hearing the plan. “Hold up that is the stupidest plan I have ever heard.” And that was saying something seeing as he dealt with Vlad's plans on a weekly basis. “First off you do realize it would be very hard to get or even force ghosts into your service if you don’t offer them, anything in return. Not to mention how some ghosts have almost godlike powers and you expect to overpower them? Also I am not even close to the only one who can fight ghosts. Everyone in Amity Park has at least some know how when it comes to ghost fighting. They sell basic ghost protection equipment at the supermarket. I just happen to be better suited than everyone else because I y’know can like fly and go intangible when chasing them. Using ghosts to take over the world is so stupid do you even know how to properly catch a ghost? Seriously this is like next level dumb, not to mention how did you even know the summoning would work if it didn't you’d just all be standing in a darkly lit room looking dumber than you already do.”

That seemed to anger the white one a lot. Apparently she didn’t like her intelligence questioned. “Why you little-.” She stomped her foot. “This plan was thought through down to the smallest detail. You want to know how it worked huh? How about asking your friend over there. I wonder what happens when the dead are killed? You will find out soon enough.”

Danny looked over to where we gestured and his refound taunting attitude vanished. Laying over in the corner inside a smaller less complex looking circle was a ghost or the ectoplasmic remains of one at least, the core was completely destroyed. Judging by the fact that the ectoplasm was red it probably had a fire core before it was destroyed. From the lingering ecto signature Danny doubted the ghost was even sapient. It was most likely the remains of something like a blob ghost or the ghost of an animal or even a weaker ectopus. Still all he could do was stare at the remains in horror.

“Of course summoning you was harder so we used that thing for its ghost energy to help power the circle. Instead of chalk we used it’s ectoplasm to ensure the strength and longevity of the seal to hold you in the circle.” The woman smiled as if she achieved something great. Achieve something she did indeed, but it certainly was not what she intended.

The rage Danny felt before came back in full force. Before with his friends he at least knew they would recover, all three of them got injured fighting ghosts more often than they should. But to injure a ghost to the point where not even their core remained was something so taboo that only the most despicable ghosts would do. Even Skulker kept the cores of his prey stable enough not to fade away completely. A ghost's form could be completely destroyed but as long as their core remained they would reform back where they first formed in the Ghost Zone. The only ghosts Danny could think of who would go out of their way to destroy a core were some of the ancients like Pariah Dark or Nocturne.

Danny finally managed to tear his eyes away from the ghost's remains to lock eyes with the woman. She and the black robed man took a step back out of instinct. Looking into his eyes they felt the feeling every animal of prey felt when it knew it was being watched, being hunted. The temperature in the room dropped and frost started to crawl across the walls. Danny took a step towards the two leaders before pausing to reconsider and turning and starting towards the two men standing above his friends.

Then men in yellow and blue robes looked to the man in black for guidance, unsure of what action to take. He looked uncertain as well but shook his head. “There’s no way it can pass through the seal, we tested it.”

Danny's eyes flicked over to the man then back to the two who hurt his friends and gave them a predatory grin, his teeth now looking slightly sharper than usual. He made no sound as he stepped over the circle with ease closer and closer to the two men. They both reached for their weapons, small bats, apparently they were the muscle of the group, and swung at the approaching ghost. Danny simply went intangible causing the two to overswing and hit each other instead, knocking the wind out of them both and causing them to drop their bats. While they were catching their breath Danny grabbed them by their hair and knocked their heads together. Their bodies crumbled to the floor just a few inches from the teens they did the same to just minutes before.

The one who had yet to say or do anything, dressed in red, made her way towards Danny while his back was towards her. Just as she got within arms reach of him she slipped and fell. The temperature had dropped even more at this point causing the ground surrounding Danny to ice over. Danny hardly acknowledged the large thud behind him simply trapping the fallen woman up to her neck in ice as he walked past and headed towards his final two targets.

When first summoned by the group Danny could, within reason, probably be passed off as a weirdish looking human excluding the glow around him. But now as he stalked towards his prey that was no longer the case. His chest no longer moved like it was breathing. His feet made no sound as they made contact with the ground. His eyes, non-blinking, no longer had pupils or even whites to them just a void of endless ectoplasmic green. His ears were pointed almost bat like. The tips of which, along with his lips, were tinted blue. His hair, normally white like snow, now was just the white that came from complete absence of any color. The hair was defying gravity almost as if it was underwater while smoke like wisps trailed off from his hair as he moved. His mouth was twisted into an emotionless smile splitting through his cheeks showing needle like teeth all the way back to where his molars would have been, there was no tongue or throat behind them, just another endless green void. The skin of his neck that was showing past the hazmat suit was marked with lightning like scars. The glow around him seemed to absorb all the light in the room.

The man in the black robe looked between the approaching horror and his partner before running towards the exit. Danny moved so fast it was almost as if he materialized right in front of the man. The man stumbled back falling down in shock but still tried to scramble away from him crossing his chest as he did so. Just as Danny started to raise his arm towards the man he paused and lurched back.

He looked down at his chest where an ornate knife was now lodged. Holding onto the hilt was the woman, she gave the knife a final twist before letting go and herding her partner into the corner farthest away from Danny. Danny showed no pain as he grabbed the knife and pulled it out, the blade was dripping with ectoplasm, and dropped it on the ground. The wound in his chest already healing, filling with more ectoplasm to replace what was lost.

The smile that was marring Danny’s face was replaced with a scowl as he made his way towards the corner where the two were cowering. Placing a hand on their necks he lifted them both up against the wall and started slowly burning their skin with an ectoblast. He let them go, letting them fall to the ground only when their screams of pain turned silent as crushed vocal cords and burnt throat muscles took their toll. Both cult leaders looked up at him in horror faces pale. "What's wrong?" Danny smiled, "It looks like you've seen a ghost."

The woman looked at him in fear as she grasped at the raw skin of her throat, which now was covered in blisters and charred in some of the worst places. “Wha-, what, what are you?” She managed to rasp out before coughing up some blood.

Danny let out a dark chuckle, his voice echoed over itself. “I-,” he snarled, “am a Phantom .”

After Danny sent an anonymous tip to the police about the cult, he brought his friends back to his house. Of course his mom freaked out after he stopped responding to her texts and even more when he phased into the living room with an unconscious Sam and Tucker. He was pretty sure she was about to break out the BOOmerang if she didn’t hear from him for much longer. She was more than willing to take the two of them to the hospital to get them checked out.

Danny made a quick stop into the ghost zone to tell Clockwork to spread the word to other ghosts to be on alert and that there were humans that were trying to summon and capture ghosts. After telling Clockwork what happened, in much more detail than the briefest summary he gave his mom, including how he probably went a bit overboard with dealing with the cultists. He also admitted he didn't regret it even if he did go overboard. They hurt his friends and caused a ghost to completely fade, and in Danny’s opinion they deserve whatever came to them. The whole story caused Clockwork to also start fretting over him making sure to let Danny know that his reaction was a completely normal response to someone threatening something that falls within his obsession especially since it happened in his haunt of all places. Danny swore that his ghostly mentor could be worse than his own parents sometimes especially when it came to reassuring him about his more ghostly tendencies.

Luckily after being released from the hospital it turned out the worst Sam and Tucker suffered were concussions that would heal in a decently short amount of time. That didn’t mean they weren’t complaining about it though.

“Stop laughing about my suffering Danny! I won’t be able to start playing Fantasy War Online VII until my two week tech restriction is lifted by my doctor. It was bad enough I had to go to a hospital but to be taken away from my lovely devices as well is just too much.” Tucker lamented.

“Quit complaining and suck it up. I’m on the restriction too Tucker.” Sam pointed out.

Tucker huffed. “Yeah well you’ll probably manage to catch up to all the people who are getting it on release day easily, since you’re scarily good at MMO’s.” He flopped back onto Danny’s bed. “Hey at least this gives us more time to convince Danny to play something other than a human for once in his life. Like I said before the hellspawn is the perfect race for the build you’re going for.”

Danny just rolled his eyes. “And like I said before, I like being a human.” “Whatever dude just don’t complain when I utterly beat you if we end up fighting because you wanted to be the lamest most boring race ever.”

Danny shrugged. “Somehow I’ll cope, I just think it’s nice to be seen as normal and not scary.”

Sam laughed. “Danny you are the least scary person like to ever exist. The only things scary about you are your grades and your wacky parents. I doubt you could be scary if you tried.”

Danny looked out the window watching the stars as they started to appear in the sky. “...Yeah I guess you’re right.”

#guess who back with the phics #danny phantom #phic #My fic #my phic

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life-rewritten · 4 years ago

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Color Rush- Crushes and Obstacles (Ep 5-6)

So I already analysed episode 5 of Color rush with the question focusing on the nature vs nurture of monos and probes. We basically have a show that keeps reminding us about the world and stigma of being a mono, the psychological regression, issues and lack of control that occurs once a mono meets their fated probe. Because of this ideology, our main character finds himself being forced to make a choice of if he should embrace becoming a monster to keep his probe by his side or if he should be alone forever stuck in a depressive state, empty and lifeless. The issue with this way of thought is that apart from maybe the media showing him clues about how monos react when they meet their probes, there's not enough evidence in my opinion that this is the only choice/way for a mono and probe to end up. Especially since our mono had seen a relationship where it was more or less successful before the mono maybe lost control once the probe died, that's his mum and dad. So this analysis focuses more on that same question is it really the only ending for a mono and probe relationship; to end with chaos, and pain, and obsession, kidnaps, crimes etc., or is this just all a placebo effect that has been embedded into the minds of monos to be this way.

Monos and Their Probes

Let's look at the details of episode 5 and 6. Yeonwoo and Yoohan's relationship evolves as they both start to fall more and more for each other. For Yeonwoo, this is hard because he's never known what that feels like, and his crush and attraction to Yeonwoo is even more enhanced in his mind because of the connection and link to Yoohan being his probe. But if we don't focus on the fact that Yoohan and Yeonwoo are probes and monos and just see them as two high school boys who have feelings for each other who went on a date, went home after and chilled, their relationship becomes like every other normal relationship, no danger, no questions of obsession and addiction. Pause.

Devotion vs Obsession

When we have feelings for people we tend to become obsessed and addicted to their presence just a bit, it's because of the serotonin, and dopamine released when we have a puppy love, a crush or even when we start to fall even more deeply for someone. It's feelings of happiness, of euphoria, excitement, and more. So Yeonwoo and Yoohan just like every other couple are going through phases of these euphoric feelings, wanting to spend as much time with each other as possible, wanting to touch each other, wanting to stay together every single time. It's what happens in a honeymoon phase of a relationship. You can't let go of the other person. Now this doesn't mean for us we want to go kidnap and commit crimes to keep our crush next to us, we may miss them, and want to keep talking to them but it doesn't mean we're insane, addicted or obsessed. Do you see my point?

I think Yeonwoo truly has exaggerated his feelings of a crush on Yoohan. He's made it so much more worse than it has to be because he's been fearmongered by the media into thinking just because he doesn't want Yoohan to leave it means he's turning into a monster when really he's just liking and crushing on his new crush. He didn't have to make the decision to go buy these kidnapping tools and to think of ways to make himself a monster, since that's the only choice he believes he's left with. No, he could have like every other normal person just missed him. So why is Yeonwoo letting himself go deeper into obsession and addiction and letting himself think he is a monster? In order to really look deeper to see if it's truly the only end for a mono, or if it's the environment that is making them this way; we have to analyse the psychological mindset of monos when they meet with their probes

Monos: The world of Lonliness and Depression

The metaphor already for monos is lack; they lack color, lack brightness, lack vibrancy in their lives. They've been forced since birth to see the world in such a dark and oblique way. And as they find out about their condition, they are seen as monsters from the get-go, forced to be alone to avoid people in case they bump into their fated probes. The loneliness and the forced mindset of a mono to stay in this lifeless energy is really psychologically depressing and tiring. And it's when they get a glimpse of hope, of companionship, love, colour, and more with their probes that Monos start to feel happy and joyful. Now it doesn't have to be this way, Monos could end up feeling comfortable with their condition if they were just treated equally and right, but no they're prejudiced, pushed away and bullied horribly once it's discovered that this is what they are.

From a young age, monos are told that they are going to be monsters, they are going to hurt people, they are going to lose their minds one day. And this is just exacerbated in the media with fears and warnings of how monos interact with their probes. If from a young age, a mono is repeatedly told, this is who they are, then it forms a placebo belief and effect, and brainwash that this is the only way they can be. Mono's don't see any other way out, or a chance to be different because everyone feeds to them the same narrative of pain, despair and obsession. And it sucks. Look at how immediately Yeonwoo's aunt reacts when she notices Yeonwoo and Yoohan have found each other, she immediately scolds him and tells him he has to move, so he doesn't break and lose his sanity. She doesn't give it the benefit of the doubt, or ask questions; she resorts immediately into trying to push them away from each other.

Now, this makes sense because she has lost her sister who was a mono who probably lost her mind once her probe died. And then went missing/ taken by maybe another mono (that's what it seems Yeonwoo and his aunt believe happened). Because of this, there is a negative stigma with the aunt on how monos can behave, she has already lost so much because of monos, and so she doesn't want Yeonwoo to be the same. The aunt is like everybody else in this world, whose first reaction to monos is to push away and to avoid, this world isolates and distances monos away from a chance to be happy, and live freely because of their condition.

The Psychological Implications of Being a Mono

The psychological implications of being a mono are so fascinating to me. It's like a psychological disorder (despite it not being that way) are all psychopaths forced to hurt and become serial killers? Are all sociopaths meant to avoid people just because there's a higher tendency that people could get hurt if it goes awry? No. Because just because you have a gene or a link to a family member that went crazy and started hurting people, it doesn't mean you would make the same choice and do the same thing. Not everyone is the same just because they have the same disorder or mindset. And that's the same for monos, monos don't have to go crazy and hurt their probes. The separation from their probes obviously enhances anxiety and fear of going back into this lifeless, darkness that they finally found a way out of; this is what drives their actions. It's just enhanced emotions and enhanced fears, but they don't have to act on it, the people who do act on it are people who were weak or predisposed to other factors that make them want to be violent. Yeonwoo doesn't have to plan ways to kidnap or take Yoohan when Yoohan would gladly stay by his side. He doesn't have to be this broken or fearful of becoming a monster; he's making these choices because he has a placebo mindset that this is who he should become. And it's heartbreaking.

The thing is we see Yoohan and Yeonwoo having a great time together, being happy and liking each others company without the color rush having to be the only focus of why they're interacting. We do get to see Yeonwoo panic because of decolouring, and he enhances those emotions because of his already ingrained anxiety about what it means to want to keep Yoohan by his side. The way I see it, Yeonwoo has formed an anxiety about who he is because of how the world treats him and other monos, and because he has that issue with stress coupled with physical evidence that he's losing colour, it drives him to think it's a sign he's becoming a monster. It's not.

First of all, of course, he becomes worried and scared about losing colours, the decolouring effect is like going from a high to a low, when colour rush happens to monos it's a euphoric effect, it doesn't last, but like a drug it can lead to a crash and a hangover, so of course immediately Yoohan leaves Yeonwoo starts to crash and regress back into seeing the world as grey, and that makes his mindset also feel depressed coupled with the fact he does not want Yoohan to go because of his crush (not dependency). So Yeonwoo misunderstands his reactions when Yoohan leaves as him becoming addicted and obsessed with Yoohan with no point of return when really he's just moody because his high is gone and he misses Yoo Han as a normal person does with their crush. So he's talking himself into thinking the only explanation is his dependency on Yoohan for color and his obsession as a mono growing. And it's sad, monos have been forced to feel this way, that they're predatory, horrifying and cruel in their love when really they've just met the one, and they wish to be happy.

Society vs Monos

It's his aunty who triggers this emotion, her conversation with him made him think there's no other way out of becoming this monster because she put that fear that he may be forced to separate from Yoohan. And this is really where I think Monos become the versions they are shown (crazy, obsessed, crimes) in the news because not every mono and probe is going to be in love, not every probe may want to be with their monos, everyone has a different circumstance and that fear of losing colors, may drive a mono to doing things. However, I don't think it's natural for them to become so obsessed and so desperate to live with colors so much that they hunt down their probes and hurt others. That's a specific few, ones that had those warped mindsets, or a more problematic background or a harsher philosophy. Not everyone becomes violent, some monos probably retreat from their probes and stay depressed, some fall in love with someone who isn't a probe, there are so many different ways it could go, the thing is monos are only shown in one light, and that's the people who chose to go far to keep their probes by their side through fear.

This self-hate and deprecation Yeonwoo has of who he is naturally reminds me so much of internalised homophobia, hating who you are naturally and thinking you're wrong because of how society has made you see yourself. It's the same feelings; the disgust, the anxiety, the repression etc. And we've already mentioned how monos and probes are probably metaphors of LGBTQ+ struggle, society making monos think it's wrong to be with the people who love them and they love. This self-hate will make Yeonwoo feel he has no other option but to check himself into a hospital or institution or to (trigger warning) end his life. And that's just so messed up. I've seen many people question his mindset because from what we're seeing his mother seems like she had a happy marriage with his father, shouldn't she be proof that monos and probes can be healthy? But I think we're forgetting that his father died, and from knowing how monos react to missing their probes, I'm guessing his mum couldn't take it and also lost some of her sanity or she fell into depression and couldn't get out of that. Also as mentioned, I think Yeonwoo thinks it's a mono that kidnapped his mum, and so that also maybe gives him more resentment towards who he is, and again makes him think monos only end up committing crimes and hurt people they love.

But we need to know more about why he thinks this way and what other evidence they have about his mother's missing case. Plus his mother has not been by his side for four years, and in those four years he's been bullied, mistreated, have to move schools each time his condition is found out, so it's been a long time of society again making him think he's a monster, and without his mum there to help him see different, he just follows that mindset, unfortunately.

Yeonwoo and Yoohan; Just a crush

For Yeonwoo and Yoohan, their relationship is not just based on dependence, Yeonwoo thinks it's the colours, and he does not understand it's just feelings and him liking Yoohan since he first met him. Yeonwoo has had to push people away, and find excuses not to have friends, and Yoohan barged into his life without warning, both have been attracted and wanting each other from the start. Yeonwoo struggled with this information and rationalised it into thinking it's because he wants the colour rush, but it isn't that, it's more than that, he just wants to be happy, in love and with Yoohan. Yoohan is the same as Yeonwoo, he's also had to push people away, and alienate himself, and not care about the world or society because of his own condition, seeing Yeonwoo made him want to do more, he liked what Yeonwoo was to him, he liked having a crush on Yeonwoo, and so he also found himself wanting to stay with Yeonwoo for as long as he can. For a long time I've also been thinking he was just as obsessed and addicted to Yeonwoo like monos are to their probes, but no, he's a teenage boy with a crush, and so is Yeonwoo. We also let the media and how society views mono make us feel worried and scared about these two's relationship forming and whilst it was thrilling to think it could be more dangerous than it is, it's really just two people falling in love with each other, and one psychologically scarred and brainwashed into thinking there's something wrong with who he is naturally. And that's just painful.

So yeah Color Rush; a look into psychological mindsets, nature vs nurture, the addictive feeling of what love is, and more, this show is so fun to watch and analyse and see how it's going to turn out, but there are moments where it hurts and makes you think and question how society and media play a role in showing minorities, how they control the narrative about certain things and if that's right. Fearmongering, prejudiced mindsets and more isn't cool, but the world has always been led by these ignorant ideas without education and open mindsets, and it sucks. So watching color rush is an interesting metaphor and symbolism for the struggles some people have because of stigmas associated with conditions they have from birth, or just ideologies formed that isn't necessarily true about who they are as a person, it only leads to self-hate, depression, anxiety, self-harm just to fit into society's narrative and it sucks. Let's hope Yoohan shows Yeonwoo he's not a monster, and he's okay being himself and loving Yoohan. he doesn't have to hurt or go insane and do crimes because he's a mono. He'll be fine.

#color rush #colour rush #korean bl #kdrama #bl series #bl drama #not thai bl #cwg #january

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romioneficfest · 4 years ago

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A Little Motivation

Title: A little motivation

Tumblr name:

Rating: M (Not Ace Safe)

Brief summary: Ron and Hermione share a very intimate moment after a long day of work.

Triggers: language, teasing

***please excuse my english, it is not my first language :s

************************

In Hogwarts, Ron was never really the type of student that has to work hard for days to get good grades. Most of the time, he just pays attention to the classes, does some homework, and works his way to the top. On his Auror Training, it was not so different, but sometimes he really has to sit down and study for hours.

After a long day studying antidotes potions for common poisons, he needed her. One essay to go, and he was free for the weekend. She already was staying in his apartment all day, helping and supporting him as the day goes by. At nightfall, she was already missing him so much that she just couldn’t wait anymore.

On her last birthday, Ginny and Valmai Morgan - a chaser for Ginny's Quidditch team and new colleague of the group - give her a naughty gift: a sexy lingerie. Hermione became vivid flushed and thankful at the same time. It was pretty nice to pass the silly adolescent phase and share private moments with her friends. At the same time, the relationship with Ron keep on evolving, and they were always discovering new kinks and ways to pleasure themselves.

As a reward to her boyfriend for dedicating himself so hard to his work, she decided with was time to use it. He had his face buried in the books, sitting by the table in his room, stressed out.

Without making any noise, she puts her arms around him and whispers "Hey babe. Are you done already?" Kissing his neck slowly.

Ron puts his homework aside for a moment and stretches himself between a lazy and tender moan.

"I'm so tired. Can't believe I'm studying this shit since 9 am."

"Oh, you tired? That's a pity."

"Why?" He still hadn't realized what she was wearing. After turning around, his eyes looked like they were going to pop out of their sockets.

"Oh my god, ‘Mione."

The lingerie was black: a see-through lace that started on the bottom of the bra and goes under her butt, which was revealing a little thong. He wasn't able to control himself at that moment.

"Sit on my lap, now. Come here!"

But she has a smirk smile on her face and started to walk away from him, leaving the bedroom.

"Oh, love, I don't want to bother you. Finish your studies, I'll be here in the living room."

He got up, laughing at her teasing.

"The hell you are. You come here and finish what you started."

"And what did I started, exactly?" She stops at the door, with her hands on the portal.

He points it at his trousers, grabbing his erection. She immediately licks and bites her lips before looking directly into his eyes.

"That's hardly my fault." She started to do a little run towards the couch, with him on her ankles, the both of them laughing uncontrollably. Ron grabs her, swooping in between kisses on the couch. He wasn't expecting resistance, but Hermione kept struggling until she was on top of him. She was biting his neck furiously, making him moan loudly, calling her name and smacking her butt cheek. That was enough to soak her knickers.

"I'm so turn on, all fucking day, watching you study so concentrated." She said between kisses. "I want to make it up to you for working so hard."

"Well, who could imagine that turned you on, huh?"

She takes his shirt off and was trying to unbuckle his belt. He helped her, pulling his pants off while she gets down on her knees.

Without any hesitation, she licks from the bottom of his balls until the top of his cock, looking at his eyes. The blowjob was becoming more intense as it goes, and her moans of struggle were as loud as his moans of pleasure. Her eyes were teary, but she refused to stop until he was satisfied.

"Fuck. Fuuuuck, ‘Mione. I'm gonna..." He grabs her hair, wanking himself as the climax was closer, while she kept her mouth open, waiting for his seed. When he was done, she swallowed it all down without complaint, cleaning up the mess she left on his cock, causing him to moan at the sensitivity of the area.

"Are you more relaxed now, love?"

"Not until I make you come as hard as you just made me."

With enthusiasm, he throws everything off the coffee table in front of the sofa and lays Hermione down on top of the table. Not fully controlling his strength, he starts pulling off his lingerie.

"Hey, careful! This is new!"

"Babe, you look bloody hot in this, but I still prefer you naked."

And without further warning, he starts to eat her like crazy, causing her to moan uncontrollably. The table was small, so her head fell on the other edge while her legs were on top of his shoulders.

He was focusing entirely on her clit, with his hands stretch, grabbing both of her boobs. Her neck was already hurting from the position, so she softly kicks his shoulders, making him sit on the floor with his back on the couch. She sits on his lap, but not putting his members inside her. He tries to grab her waist down, but she was resisting it.

"You want her, don't you?" She was teasing him while she rubbed herself against him. "You want me to ride you?"

"Yes, please, mam. Please, let me fuck you. I'm begging you."

"You're being such a good boy today."

Spinning in his lap, she puts his cock inside her, doing a reverse cowgirl position. With just the lighting of the bedroom illuminating the living room, they were fucking on the ground, sweaty, moaning each other’s names.

"Ron, come for me. I want you to come inside me so fucking much."

"Fuck. You drive me crazy, ‘Mione."

She furiously rides him into oblivion, only stopping when he takes control for a moment, laying her on the carpet while he spreads his seed inside her once again.

They laid there for a couple of minutes, not saying anything. The only sound in the house was the heavy and tired breathing of them.

"I think you made a mistake, ‘Mione. You were proud of me for studying all day and you do this? You know that I'm going to be the best of my class until graduation, right?"

"Whatever keeps you motivated, love."

#hpfic #romione ficfest 2021 #romione #ron weasley #hermione granger #Queue up for the Dragon #Rated M #Not Ace Safe #cw: s*x #cw: language

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percabethfiles · 4 years ago

Text

Charlie

Uh... Hello? Anybody still here? I haven't been around in years and years. But I keep my fandoms stored in some corner of my brain waiting for something to tug them out. And of all things this time it was Taylor Swift re-releasing her old songs, because I used to imagine so many percabeth scenes listening to "Fearless". So have this little something that's been sitting unfinished in my archives for years now.

Remember that time Percy saw Sadie Kane and thought “Hey, this is what mine and Annabeth’s daughter would look like”? Yes.

(Also there are small nods to that fic I wrote about Logan, Hidden Heritage, but I've been meaning to re-write it someday because there were SO MANY PLOT HOLES omg)

When they find out it’s a girl it’s a bit too soon to know for sure, or so the doctor tells them. They’ll have to wait for the next appointment to know for certain. “So don’t go buying any tiny dresses yet,” he jokes and they laugh along, but they’ve been together for approximately eighteen years now, they can tell what the other’s thinking with a glance and the ecstatic grin that breaks through their lips lets him know they’re on the same page. Too late. They’re already thinking plush bow and arrows and a Merida costume for her first Halloween.

Percy tries to keep his cool. As the weeks progress, he tries not to get his hopes up, but in his heart he knows already. They hadn’t really had a preference before, they’d been too happy knowing their baby was fully human and had all its limbs (with the number of deities they’d pissed off, you never knew), but a little girl? It feels right after their two boys, it feels like their family will be complete.

(He thinks about a slight blonde girl with streaked hair and a British accent dropping from the sky on a magic camel, remembers thinking “if Annabeth and I had a daughter…” and his chest squeezes tight with happiness so raw he has a little trouble breathing)

When the doctor beams at them next appointment and says “Congratulations, Jackson family, it really is a girl,” he’s not surprised, but no less elated. He doesn’t hear the lame joke about Jackson Five, he’s too busy trying to be a manly man and not burst into tears because he’s going to have a daughter. When Annabeth’s in the other room paying for the appointment, and he’s waiting for the doctor to print the really impressive high tech 3D picture of the ultrasound, the man asks him “So did you go ahead and buy a tiny dress anyway?”

Percy blushes.

The man shakes his head in amusement. “Every time”.

His work colleagues, proud dads of little girls themselves, try to terrorize him with tales of tea parties and future boyfriends, and Percy thinks somewhere in the middle of all that teasing they mean well, but really, he’s mostly annoyed. It’s not like he’s new to parenthood, he’s got two sons already and they seem to be turning out okay, and before, when Logan and Nathan were just a nice dream for the future, there was Estelle, the little sister Percy had never expected, but loved to bits all the same.

And then Charlie is born.

She’s tiny, warm and pink, all curled up in her yellow cable-knit blanket, a tuft of blonde hair peeking out of a tiny, tiny beanie, features scrunched into the most adorable variation of a grumpy face. He’s not new to parenthood, he’s been here twice before, but the rush of affection and protectiveness and awe and raw love is just as genuine. He’s smiling like a dork, can’t seem to stop, walking from side to side, avidly searching her traits. She’s bigger than Nate was when he’d been born, but smaller than Logan. Her hair was light, like Nate’s, would it stay blonde or darken with time? Would her eyes be like his or Annabeth’s? And oh, she had her mother’s nose (they all did).

It never fails to amaze him how such a small, vulnerable being can shake up his whole world until it’s made a space for her. And he’s done this before, he’s no first time sailor this time, he’d thought he had it all under control. But she blinks and looks up at him with half-lidded eyes and a frowny face and—they’re green. Her eyes are the blue-green Logan’s are, Percy’s are.

(He’s got two sons who are his life, and he does love all his children equally, but holding his daughter for the first time, he thinks he understands his friends’ warnings. He doesn’t love her more, it’s just… different. It’s special.)

When he goes back to work, Nick takes one look at him and bursts into laughter. He claps him on the shoulder in commiseration.

“I told you.”

He’s completely wrapped around her finger already.

It’s not too different, he finds out. Especially having been pre-trained by Estelle. He’s got to brush up on his Disney princess knowledge, and hair braiding skills. He hasn’t gotten much better at color coordinating the polka dotted bows and tiny shoes, but Charlie is really forgiving. She is a very happy baby, much happier and easy going than any of the boys had been.

She’s also fucking crazy.

She is smaller and skinnier than her brothers, likes to wear frilly dresses and talk to plush animals and dance around the house in a pink tutu, but she’s wild. She never learned to crawl, just held on to the couch until she was wobbling on two feet, and it seemed like the very next day she was running across the house, the mall, the park, and if he turned his eyes away for one second, she was shooting off in the streets and nearly getting run over.

He’d found her dangling from the kitchen cabinets, trying to reach the cowering cat. She had a phase when she thought she could fly and she would climb furniture and stairs and the window sill and just… Launch herself into the air expecting her flying powers to manifest spontaneously. If they hadn’t been trying to raise them away from the whole mythological world, he would have sat her down and clarified that she had the wrong Olympian Grandparent in mind. She might have had more luck jumping into the ocean.

She had a way to jut out her lower lip, and turn those big green eyes on him that could render his every effort to be a responsible parental presence useless.

Besides, she was so funny. He could never muster enough anger to discipline her, because if he found her on the kitchen table covered in peanut butter, somehow sporting a very sticky Mohawk, and looking entirely unapologetic, well, he just couldn’t stop laughing.

One day he’s coming home from work and he hasn’t even pulled the key from the lock when Charlie calls out ‘you’re back daddy,’ in what sounds vaguely like a new jersey accent. He finds her sitting on the floor of the living room, drowning in one of Annabeth’s bathrobes, pink plastic barbie sunglasses on, holding a pooh bear sippy cup with one hand and a pinky stretched out.

“Charlie, what are you doing?”

“It’s wine Wednesday, daddy.”

“It’s what?”

“Wine Wednesday.”

He had half a mind to check if her sippy cup actually contained wine because they hid their alcohol way up in the cabinets she can’t reach but that girl could climb like a monkey. He knows he should follow that remark up with some kind of questioning of where she’d even heard of ‘wine Wednesdays’ and then explain that kids don’t drink wine or some other kind of responsible parent speech, but a sudden burst of incredulous laughter bubbles up in his throat and he takes refuge in the kitchen, lest he encourages her behavior.

He finds Annabeth there, hand over her mouth, clearly in stitches over their daughter’s performance. He wants to question if she gave her permission to wear her bathrobe but finding his wife nearly doubled over in silent laughter in the kitchen is too much and he finally lets out the guffaw he’d been trying to hold on to.

It’s not the first time Charlie leaves them breathless with laughter, and he’s almost scared of what she’s going to cook up in the future.

Charlie is a hellion.

There isn’t one person safe from her pranks, but she’s so adorable she hardly ever catches hell for it, and she’s learning to use it in her favor – thankfully, just in time for her parents to develop immunity to her puppy eyes. And she’s… difficult, yes, but not always, and not in a terrible way. For all her climbing the roof, organizing illegal cookie sales, getting in fights with her classmates, she’s not a bad kid. She’s got Percy’s penchant for befriending the kids no one wants to go near, and defending her ragtag team of losers. She’s loyal to a fault, and it gets her in trouble often.

She and Nate have epic jealousy fights over everything, including – but not limited to – Logan’s attention, the crayons, the biggest piece of cake and all the videogame characters in the world are not enough, they will always want whatever the other picked. It gives them many, many headaches. Logan, on the other hand, positively spoils her, and whenever Charlie gets in trouble they can be sure to find her hiding behind her big brother while he gives them this solemn look and says “It’s ok, mom and dad, Charlie promises she won’t do it again. We’ve talked.”

When the whole “Logan being attacked by a dracanae in school and thus finding out his Olympian heritage” debacle came to pass, and they started frequenting camp again, there was nowhere in the entire Camp Charlie would rather be than the stables. She’d spend hours there with the Aphrodite kids, brushing the pegasi and talking to them endlessly about all her classmates and her friends, and her dolls, and her new dress, and the new book grandma gave her. It was all really cute until Percy realized the pegasi were talking back, and she fully understood their replies.

And it’s funny, really, because Logan had taken after Percy, to a point where bathing him had been hard as a child because he tended to stay dry in the tub, and Nathan was Annabeth to a T, but Charlie was a perfect mix of them both.

He guesses it makes sense it would be so explosive.

When Charlie is twelve, she gets kicked out of school.

Percy is not overly worried about it himself – the number of schools he’d been kicked out of reached double digits, and this was only her first – but he is worried about how she will feel. Getting the boot from a place that’s housed you for years, where your friends are, where everyone already knows you and having to start over is never pleasant, no matter how used to it you were.

He’d expected the school to have gotten tired of all her pranks and misbehaving, which was fair, he guessed. But when Annabeth comes home from the meeting with the school director, she is seething, and not at their daughter. Charlie is angry too. In fact, it’s the first time he’s ever seen his daughter well and truly pissed off. The two of them are a sight for nightmares, both blondes standing side by side ranting with righteous fury, they look ready to start a revolution. What he gets from her angry snarls and Charlie’s rushed rambling is that Charlie had talked back to a teacher that was picking on the autistic kid and demeaning the thirteen year old who was repeating sixth grade.

She’d called him a brain-washing small minded overgrown bully who, he was quoting, didn’t get enough love from his parents.

And Percy is so proud his eyes even get a little misty.

Because he’s getting old and sentimental and raising kids is very hard. No one knows what they’re doing, not one person, not even the fancy psychologists with those books on raising perfect, well rounded, high-achieving members of society that Annabeth insisted on reading when she was pregnant with Logan. You do your best and you hope for the best, and you don’t know what you get until it’s basically too late to do anything about it. And even if he did have the best mom in the history of the entire world to draw example from, he was also half of an absent Olympian father whose heritage condemned him to dance in and out of battlefields half his life.

He’s always been terrified of being a crap father.

He looks at Charlie cussing out with every mild version of actual cuss words, stalking around the kitchen like a little lioness in a cage, furious at the unfairness of the whole situation, caring less about being expelled and more about who was going to defend her friends from that awful teacher when she’s gone.

His daughter is only twelve, but she’s already so brave, such a force of nature. She won’t stand for injustice, and she won’t take insult lying down. And she’s so kind. She’s growing up, and the person she is slowly turning out to be… is good.

And something in his heart shifts and settles down, smooths over old fears and anxious thoughts.

Percy doesn’t mean to brag, but he thinks he’s not doing half bad as a parent.

#fanfic #pjo #percabeth #percabeth kids #charlie jackson #back at it again with the old unfinished fics #percabeth fanfic

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amirajones · 3 years ago

Text

Forbidden love: The Pirate and the Pirate Princess pt. 1

Pairing: Princess Amira White x Killian Jones (Hook)

wordcount: 2293

I question when it started or when it was all going downhill in my royal life that things just seemed...dull. I could never complain about my life, except well the worst day of my life as a child. It was a good day I was eight going to be nine soon and Snow's birthday was the next day. We were both so happy about it to celebrate with our mother and father. Had mother never gotten sick and tried to make it like she was fine we could have possibly done something to help her instead I was useless to help one of the two people I cared about most in this world. We had no choice but to watch her slowly die and even when Snow had gone out to find a cure the answer was something dark that neither of us wanted to consider.

I think during the funeral is when my world started to look not as bright anymore with my mother's death. I was so young so the sadness had a good hold on me but even so Snow tried making me feel better. After a few months dad made us Travel by horse, while Johanna our hand maiden who had taken over being the mother figure in our life was walking beside the horses. The one I was riding was a beautiful white horse but like Snow I loathed the constant traveling.

We traveled for days going from kingdom to kingdom in search of what father called our future stepmother. I was tired of the traveling to the point of just leaning against the horse and about to just collapse. Johanna was the one who made it easier to keep going knowing this was never going to be an easy thing for the two of us.

"Snow, Amira your father King Leopold is a lonely man now that your mother has passed away." Johanna said "I know Johanna but that does not mean we are not tired." Amira said

We made it to another kingdom where we were welcomed by the royals of the castle, I expected much of the same with the last two kingdoms. Snow had gotten down and she was so cheerful and social while I was merely watching without speaking. Johanna had learned between the two of us which one wanted to talk to the people and who would rather stay in the background.

"Amira, you should be more like your sister and talk to people. Someday you will run a kingdom of your own next to a King." Johanna said "Wishful thinking but I want to see what is in the world before I settle down." Amira said

No one approved of my thoughts but I was different than most princesses, I guess it came with being second in line. There was a pier close by from what I looked around but saw father and Snow were having a good time talking. So I decided to speak up.

"May I look around your kingdom?" I asked "Of course Princess, you can look as far as you want even to the village." The king of the kingdom said "I will go with you." Johanna said

I walked for a bit glad to get off the horse for traveling and we walked until we made it to the pier. I sat on the edge looking out at the sea wanting to know what was out there beyond the land. Beyond these meaningless traveling and this royal life where people did what he asked cause we were in higher society than them.

"You seem so lost in thoughts." Johanna said "I just want to see what is out there, father says when I'm older but hat if he doesn't?" Amira said "You'll have access to your father's ship." Johanna said "yes, when I am older." Amira said "You will be able to do everything you want in time, but you must keep yourself going forward for your mother's wishes." Joahanna said

My mother, it was hard to even think that she wasn't here anymore and the fact that we didn't even know why or how she died. Life was just beating through the time but it was easier with father than living without him. It was easier with doing so much more but there was ways to do it and waiting for it to be done the right way.

We stayed here for a few days but just like all the other kingdoms dad didn't find what he was looking for so we were back on the road with the horses. I blocked out most of what happened just to get through it but it was during these travels we met our stepmother Regina. She was nice in the beginning but people can change for the worst.

When we returned home I was overly happy and ran to my room to put away the gifts we got on our travel but to lay in my own bed was a blessing.

A couple years passed since then as Snow and I took up learning how to sword fight in case we ever needed it someday. Father was over protective but with Snow and I as his daughters he knew we needed to know how to fight. I heard him talking about a party when we were older. A masquerade ball in our honor which actually helped me get into a good mood with something to do as we practiced for years. Time passed with our practice and though I hadn't had much match against Snow in the beginning we became apart of those who got to be better.

All that practicing payed off but still the time came when the masquerade ball was happening. Johanna had some outfits made for us. I went to my room and checked out what I had option wise and It was hard to decide. Blue dress with a pretty blue mask to go with it or a red dress knee high with a gold mask. It made it so hard to decide whether I wanted to go proper or I wanted to be a bit rebel.

Options:

I decided to go with the red dress as it gave more mystery and I didn't want the people bowing to me. I didn't want to be proper so I had to figure this out on my own but Johanna came in seeing what I was doing and she helped me. She didn't even show any disapprovement in my choice for tonight just went along and tended to it. She also styled my hair to where people wouldn't recognize me. It was the first time my hair had been up since mother died and when I put my mask on I didn't even recognize myself.

"You look so pretty Amira." Johana said "thank you Johanna." Amira said

When I left the room I knew Johanna wouldn't be attending so when we could walk in I was glad we didn't have to be announced. I saw father talking with the people, this masquerade had a mix of royals and the people of the kingdom. I walked being at ease with no one approaching and bowing glad that I could do as I pleased. As I walked I went over to the drink table getting a cup of punch when I heard a familiar voice and looked.

"You look amazing tonight Mira." Derek said "What gave it away it was me?" Amira asked "Every princess or maiden is wearing a dress that goes down to the ground." Derek said "Right, I didn't feel like being proper tonight." Amira said "Rebellious as always, less expectations on you so you don't have to worry." Derek said

Derek is my best friend from another kingdom, he went through that boy phase of not liking girls with having to see his intended every summer. I have met her a few times and didn't mind hanging with her but I wasn't allowed to go crazy. Father has been very over protective with me and Snow. We were always social with each other during events with everything going on but we walked through the crowd when I landed on one of the peasant girls in my village named Analise.

"Analise!" I yelled

Analise was already having punch with her brown hair, black dress and mask on for the party as she noticed us. I walked over and we all started talking like it wasn't some big event as I saw my sister come in. She was a bit later than I expected as I saw her white flowing gown and her mask. I knew she always represented what we stood for but she was next to be Queen. I admired my sister so much but I wanted to be just like her.

Snow's Attire:

I talked with my friends knowing that this was good enough for me but when I was out of punch I went to get some more. I was on my own as I refilled my glass taking a sip of my glass when I heard the sound of foot steps. I knew it was possibly my imagination but I felt someone tap on my shoulder which made me look.

"Forgive me, you're quite beautiful tonight." The man said "thank you, uh.." I realized I never saw him before "Where are my manners, I'm Prince Nicholas. I was wondering if you could tell me where I might find Princess Amira." Nicholas said

My whole body about tensed hearing this prince was looking for me but he was looking for someone dressed more properly than I was. Snow was sort of easy to tell her name was Snow and she was wearing white. I knew I could lie after all I couldn't do it with my family but I could give it a try.

"Sorry No. I..I don't know where Lady Amira is." Amira said Nicholas seemed to notice my hesitation and he seemed to be about to say something when another man joined in and suddenly put his arm around me. "Luv, here you are I've been looking for you." He said I didn't know this man but he was helping "why Yes, I was getting some punch." I said going along with it.

Watching as the prince left seeming to buy the sudden intruders ways of cutting in the conversation I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I felt the man let me go but not leave as I was looking around. I wanted to know why a sudden stranger would just jump in and save me like that without even knowing the situation.

"thank you sir." I said I saw him take my gloved hand and kiss it "Killian Jones." He said as I looked at him through my mask and saw he was also wearing one. "Now Princess Amira, you should be a bit more careful."

My whole body went into sock as he realized who was I was, this couldn't be happening to me. I as so sure no one would figure out my disguise but all the more reason to figure out who was behind the mask. I still inquired about what he was doing here after all I was curious now.

"How did you figure out who I am?" Amira asked "What brings you to the ball? gold? Jewels?" "Quite perceptive of you to be so bold Princess." Killian said "No one helps out for any reason if not for some gain." Amira said "Why I came is my business, but you seemed very uncomfortable with the prince." Killian said "How perceptive." Amira said

I thought my next words carefully knowing this was a man I'd never met and yet here I was talking with him. I took another sip of my punch keeping in mind that I had to represent this kingdom. My father was out dancing with my sister and my step mother was just sitting at a table. My world had seemed dull for quite some time but now it seemed color was resurfacing.

"Let me guess, you want to do things before you get married." Killian said before I could answer. "Yes, I want to sail the seas see what is out there. Fall in love on my own terms with whoever I want." Amira said "Well, I've been around some time. Maybe you should meet me at the tavern. I would love to know just how Amira is." Killian said

To say I wasn't interested was a lie cause he had my attention even when I didn't think any man would ever have my attention on anything. Derek and Analise came over which got my attention for a minute. Analise smiled seeing I was talking to someone for once she knew I wasn't very social with people.

"Mira, who is this?" Derek asked "My savior for the night, seems there is a prince looking for me tonight and he was able to rescue me from an awkward encounter." Amira said "Does your savior have a name?" Analise asked "Killian Jones." Killian said

The surprised look on Analise's face told me more than I needed to know that something was up she recognized that name. She pulled me over to her where Killian couldn't hear her and she whispered one word in my ear.

"He's a pirate, the one people call Hook." Analise whispered.

#masquerade #once upon a time #killian jones #killian jones x reader #captain hook #Hook x oc #Amira White #Selena Marriot #ouat #fanfic #Colin O'Donoghue

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electricbluebutterflies · 4 years ago

Note

Garden work + soft babes (bonus points for domesticity + “you don’t have to do that”)

Things I will never be over - Chris and Melissa being awkward cats who absolutely do not know how to relationship. Post-series as per usual, PG-ish, also on ao3.

The unexpected plus side of finally having some quiet – Melissa can live her best plant-lady life without worrying about all of it getting trampled.

Honestly, it is weird with most of the kids off at different colleges. She had gotten so used to her role as accidental pack mom for a whole herd of god-knows-what – and she still isn’t sure what some of the younger ones actually are, never did get an explanation for the boy who can apparently turn invisible and still turns up on her porch from time to time – and now just as suddenly it is reduced if not over. Which is to say, there are still non-human beings that automatically become her problem at work and occasionally call her at weird hours because she’s a reliable source of comfort and normality, but the remaining local faction does not need her the same way right now and she is fine with that.

So, with only so much long-distance worrying she can do before she either gets bored or goes crazy (she’s not sure which is more likely), and the relative state of quiet having lasted a couple months now, Melissa has time to plant flowers and figure out her own relationship issues. And apparently today she gets to do both at once.

This was not the plan, she would like to point out. She is perfectly capable of doing relatively light yard work on her own, and how hard could it realistically be to dig a few holes for rosebushes anyways. But in that way that these things apparently happen now, Chris is around today and attempting to make himself useful, and while this was not how Melissa intended for her afternoon to play out, she has never said no to a genuine offer of help.

Besides, it’s a good excuse to stare at him while she figures out what conversation they’re currently avoiding.

She’s not sure if they’re going slow or if they’re both too traumatized from past relationships to do much of anything or… there are a lot of possible explanations for the past year, all of them neither comforting nor problematic. At this stage in her life, she can’t afford to be too impulsive, and she’d been convinced for two years that she was going to die alone because other obligations came first and then-

“Where did you want this one?”

The man she may or may not be falling in love with is holding a pink rosebush like he is not sure what it even is and it’s the cutest thing she’s seen in years.

It’s easier to show than tell. Melissa walks over and taps her foot at a spot by the corner of the house – best to keep pointy things away from anywhere they might get trampled or driven over. Late March might be a little early for this sort of project, but she’d like to enjoy the pretty for a while before something has the opportunity to get it, and given how chaotic summer is likely to be…

“You don’t have to do this,” she says for the sake of formalities, and because she’d like to get any potential fights over with. Not that she expects that, not with him, but her instincts are still too defensive and-

“You need help,” he replies, not at all a question. This is why she likes him, she thinks. Trying to get him to talk about or even admit feelings is a losing battle unless something else has gone very wrong, which is to say that in this current quiet post-everything phase of their lives it is probably never going to happen, but what he does not say he still shows. Protectiveness is an expression of love, figuring out why her dishwasher was making weird noises is an expression of love, attempting to help with her projects is an expression of love.

She knows on some level this is still a very bad idea. He’s a good man, yes, but he’s reckless and unreliable and-

No. Not so much anymore. Not since whatever the hell happened six months ago that she did not ask about because all she needed to know was she was the person he needed in the middle of the night for once not wounded, she was the person who just needed to be calm and yet not because she had also been through her own personal hell and no one makes great choices at three in the morning and-

“Something wrong?”

Damn him. Damn him and his pretty eyes and his constant fear of being the cause of her distress.

“No,” she says too quickly. She blinks, realizing that in the time she spaced out he managed to dig a decent enough hole for the rosebush and is now waiting for further instructions. And to think that for once she wasn’t distracted by the pretty even though it was right there and-

“Whatever you need…”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re too cautious?” This would be a better scenario if she didn’t look like hell, she thinks. Hair up in a messy bun, dirt on her face, she’s not actually sure where this tshirt came from or who it originally belonged to… this is the sort of conversation a woman who actually planned for this shit would try to do in a dress, but she is more reactionary than that and-

He looks at her all deer-in-the-headlights like that is not at all where he expected she was about to go. “No?”

There are so, so many things she wants to say right now. Moving slow is one thing but they don’t have to, not anymore, not with no normal-person obstacles in the way. She has run this hesitant relationship situation by everyone else in her life who might have opinions on it – a decade of her various loved ones sabotaging her predictably awful taste in people has taught her a few damage-control techniques – and all have given their approval for a situation that, at this current moment, Melissa is unsure will actually happen in the form she wants.

And maybe that’s the problem. She’s been too content with the glacial pace, too content with avoided conversations and little kindnesses and hesitant kisses and never talking about that one exception the same way they didn’t talk about her other impulsiveness, and at least this time they have stayed in each other’s lives, at least this time she didn’t try to run, at least-

“At some point we need to figure this out. The me and you part. Where this is going, if it’s going anywhere, if you’re ever going to-“

“I don’t want to weigh you down. You know that.”

Melissa rolls her eyes. She is not in the mood for whatever the hell self-loathing spiral he’s currently in, she is not debugging that, she is tired of all these defenses and-

“Every other man I’ve been with has had no problem taking what he wants. How the hell are you the first one who’s thought I’m breakable?”

It comes out too quickly, the only way she’s capable of doing anything here apparently. So she’s dated a few assholes, and at one point wasted ten years of her life being married to one. Show her any woman her age who doesn’t have skeletons like that, she’d love to see it. And she is well aware that the current version of this man opposite her right now has changed so much from when they first crossed paths, had everything brutally taken away before he could be fully human, and there may still be that darkness and…

And she does not care, she thinks as she waits for whatever conflict-avoidant response she’s about to have to deflect. Even if he wasn’t ridiculously her type, he’s one of two people in her world who can exist alongside all her other complications and she ruled out the other one as an option ages ago. It’s either this or dying alone, and she suspects he views her similarly.

“You are breakable,” he says slowly, and now is a bad time for her to be thinking about how hot his voice is but here they are. “You deserve better.”

She laughs. “You’ve seen my past. What I deserve has never been a factor.”

“I don’t know how to do this like normal people.”

Ah yes, there it is, the elephant they always try to avoid. Melissa knows better than to ask questions about the whole lowkey-cult-adjacent past, but she knows that’s where the baggage comes from. Whereas she has always been what he would define as normal, and she’s still occasionally a trainwreck.

“Does it matter? I’m not asking you to move in or marry me or any of the shit that I’ll probably have to do if I want it because you are so determined not to overstep and… I just want something. More affection. Play with my hair and tell me I’m pretty. Stuff like that.”

“I don’t read signals very well.”

“I have noticed.”

“I can try. If that’s what you want.”

“We’ve been avoiding defining the relationship for a year. I’m not sure it is a relationship. Yeah. I want.”

She expects another defensive comment – and that’s what they are, she knows, his various fears manifesting in ways that she is not the right person to fix – but instead Chris turns back to the task at hand. There are still a few more flower bushes in the back of her car and apparently that’s a good enough reason for him to let it go and-

“It’s okay,” she murmurs as she points out where he should put the rosebush’s mate. “I’m not good at normal either.”

#pixievixen #melissa mccall #chris argent #chris x melissa #mcargent #ebf writes fic

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talesofstyles · 5 years ago

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In Sickness And In Health

After the birth of their twin babies, Harry and YN’s marriage suffers.

Warning: Contains discussion of Postnatal Depression (PND) / PPD, breastfeeding and smut. Please read only if you’re comfortable.

P.S. This is a spin-off of Mess Is Mine. You don’t have to read it first, but in case you want to give it a go, here’s the link for the I, II and III part!

Having a newborn is hard, let alone two.

When that phase where everything seems magical and everything is just right in the world and you can hardly take your eyes off your precious little babies is over, you’ll begin to realise how much your life has changed overnight. You’ll realise how exhausted you are and that sleep is merely just a myth. You don’t sleep for longer than two hours at a time, and you struggle to find the time to fulfil your most basic human needs like eating and showering, and your social life has gone out of the window without even a wave goodbye.

Of course the excitement will never be truly over. There will always be moments where you look at your babies and pause and think “how did I get so lucky?!”. Maybe when they’re both smiling at you unconsciously in their sleep. Or when you just bathe them so they’re fresh and clean and smells like heaven and you feel like your heart is about to burst looking at two little babies just in their nappies all sprawled on your bed. It may not sound like a big deal, but sleep is one of the most fundamental human needs and if they’re deprived of that, it can potentially lead to a bigger problem.

YN is tired. So is Harry, but she is not only exhausted physically but also mentally, which is so much harder to deal with. Having twins really takes a toll on her body, and her hormones are all over the place. Now so much worse than when she was pregnant. She had a rather flawless pregnancy with the twins, everything was perfect. She carried them up until 37 weeks and five days, which was considered full term with twins, and even though the labour was long, it was all good in the end.

It all started well. The babies were both healthy and strong so they went home along with YN on the third day. Settling in with two newborns during the first few days were chaotic but it was all such a dream. The babies were such good sleepers and both YN and Harry had to wake them up throughout the night so YN could feed them. Neither of them was a fussy eater and both latched on so well right from the beginning, too, which was the thing that YN most worried about when she was still pregnant so she was relieved to know that their breastfeeding journey seemed to be easy right from the start.

But then the babies turned two weeks old, and they hit a growth spurt, which caused them to be fussier than ever. Harry and YN could barely function with the lack of sleep and both of them were frustrated because they couldn’t split their attention with the big kids as well. Everything was crazy and it went south from there.

The baby boy went back to his usual self after a couple of days, but the baby girl never did. Even now, four weeks later, she is still fussier than ever, and the worst thing is that she is refusing to eat most of the time which is really stressing YN out because she doesn’t know what to do. She never had any problems nursing Finn and Pippa back then.

It’s 2:45 am, and here’s YN, sitting on a nursery glider that calls one of the corners in their master bedroom as it’s temporary home before they move it to the nursery later along with the babies. Baby girl has been crying for at least ten minutes now, and her crying is getting stronger each minute. YN tries to nurse her while desperately trying to keep her eyes open, but the baby just clenches her fists and keeps crying, pulling her face away from her chest and refusing to latch.

“Oh, come on,” YN sighs in frustration at the wailing baby in her arms. “Come on, please. I know you’re hungry, my love.”

All the crying eventually wakes Harry up, but thankfully not the other baby just yet. At just four weeks old, the twins are still sleeping with Harry and YN in their room because not only it’s safer for the babies for the first six months, they also know that it’ll be easier for them to deal with the babies throughout the night.

“Should I make her a bottle?” Harry offers, sitting up to rub the sleep away from his eyes for a second before he walks towards where YN is sat with their baby girl. “I can feed her. You go to sleep, love.”

“No!” YN whisper-shouts. “I can feed her. I have to.”

“Alright, alright. Just let me try a little bit,” says Harry, shushing her as YN shifts the baby girl into his arms. He begins swaying his hips in place right away to rock her, knowing how much she loves it. She’s just like Anya when she was a baby, loving the little sway and rock in the middle of the night to soothe her back to sleep. However, the little sway and rock doesn’t do the trick for her twin brother who prefers being bounced a little whenever he’s being fussy. “Hi sweet girl,” Harry coos at her. “What’s this all about, huh? What’s the matter? Best tell daddy, yeah? I’ll sort it out.”

The tiny little baby girl in his arms lets out a couple of tiny choked up noises before she calms down and stops crying, showing him her green eyes for a second before closing it again as she lets out the tiniest yawn. She goes back to sleep within minutes in her daddy’s arms, and as much as Harry is glad that he manages to put the baby back to sleep, he is worried about YN.

YN has been struggling to bond with their baby girl ever since she has started to get fussy about nursing, so he knows the fact that he has just calmed her down and put her back to sleep just like that makes her feel even worse. She sighs dejectedly, completely ignoring Harry’s weak “darlin’,” as she stands up and walks away to the bed.

“Darlin’,” Harry tries again as he gets himself into the bed and under the duvet. But she ignores him still, choosing to turn around so her back is on his face instead.

Harry lets out a heavy sigh. Mumbling a short, sweet, “night, love,” as he turns off the nightlight on his bedside table. Expecting at least just a short “night” from her but all he hears is silence.

***

The sound of keys jingling in the door is no match to the chaos inside. Baby girl has been crying nearly all morning, leaving YN frustrated and exhausted beyond measure. Harry has just got home from doing the school run, and as he walks into their living room, he sees his wife with their baby girl in her arms. He can see how tired YN looks, truth be told he isn’t much better, but he knows that he needs to step in because both of them are frustrated.

“Come on, my love, please,” YN coos at the crying baby in her arms desperately, pushing her closer to her chest to try to get her to latch but she isn’t having any of it. She did nurse a little a few hours prior but YN knows it’s not enough and she needs more. “I know you’re hungry, darlin’, please, just a little bit.”

“Let me make a bottle for her, yeah?” says Harry softly, knowing well that YN isn’t going to take what he suggests happily but he knows they all need it. “I can feed her, you go take a shower or a little nap. Whichever sounds best to you, love.”

“No, Harry, I need to feed her,” YN insists, shaking her head. Her cheeks are getting wet from the tears of frustration mixed with exhaustion. “I have to. I have to be able to.”

Harry runs his fingers through his hair, a little harsher than he’d like, in frustration. Sighing heavily. “She’s hungry!” snaps Harry. “We need to feed our daughter!”

“I’m trying!” YN practically shrieks.

“But she doesn’t want to nurse!” Harry’s voice keeps increasing in volume, stopping to take a deep breath when he sees the look on YN’s face. Not once he has ever talked to her that way before. “Please, just let me try to make her a bottle. This isn’t the time for you to listen to your ego, she’s hungry!”

YN looks up at Harry in silence. He can’t tell what she’s feeling, but surely it mustn’t be good. She stands up slowly, kissing her baby girl’s forehead before shifting her into Harry’s arms and walks upstairs without saying another word.

Harry warms up a bottle for her from the milk in the freezer and she hesitates a little before she drinks it all up. She’s already asleep in his arms even before he has the chance to burp her, clearly exhausted from all the crying. He takes her upstairs to their room to put her in the bassinet next to her twin brother who has been napping for a little while now and should wake up anytime soon. Doesn’t matter how hard YN and Harry try to make them sleep at the same time, they just won’t.

When Harry walks into their room, YN is sitting on her side of the bed. She’s looking through the window, her back is facing the door. He can see her back tenses a little at his presence. Any other day, any other circumstances, Harry would have just sat next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pull her close to him to cheer her up. They’re both a massive cuddler so although not always, more often than not, a little hug fixes everything. This is also why they can’t really complain about the fact that the twins are probably the clingiest babies on earth. Apples truly don’t fall far from the trees.

“M’sorry for raising my voice,” Harry says at last after he puts his baby girl in her bassinet, before sitting next to YN on the bed but still keeping a safe distance knowing that she is probably a little upset with him. “But I’m not sorry for feeding our daughter.”

Much to Harry’s surprise, YN doesn’t even respond. He gets it if she doesn’t want to talk to him, but she has stilled. Not much different than a statue. He thinks she’s at least going to pull her arm away from him or swats his when he tries to touch her but no, she’s not even blinking. Still looking far out through the window. Her body is right next to him, but she is going further away from Harry with each passing seconds.

***

Next thing Harry knows, she has become distant.

To him, first and foremost. And what breaks his heart the most, to his baby girl too. He didn’t want to believe himself at first but as the days went by, it was getting harder to ignore. He knows that she tries her best to act normal around the other kids, but he also knows that there’s something missing in her and whatever it is, he just hopes they can find it again.

YN is nursing Flynn in their room while Harry feeds Mila downstairs in the living room. After what happened the other day when Harry snapped at her, YN hasn’t tried to nurse her baby girl again, leaving Harry to do the job. As he feeds their littlest, he also gives some snacks for Finn, Pippa and Anya who just got home from school.

“How was school?” Harry asks the three of his big kids as he plops down on the couch with his baby girl on his lap and a warm bottle of milk in his hand. “Did you lot ‘ave a good day?”

“Mhm,” Anya hums and Finn and Pippa just nod, too busy chewing on some microwavable pastries that Harry heated for them.

“Good,” says Harry as he pulls the bottle away from his baby girl’s mouth for a second, giving her a little break. “Got any homework?”

“Anya and I have to write down everyone’s wishes,” says Pippa before she reaches for a cup of apple juice on the coffee table in front of her and takes a sip.

“Wishes?” Harry turns to her, his eyebrows snap together. “What kind of wishes?”

“It can be anythin’!” Anya chimes in.

“So,” Pippa begins, taking a paper and a pencil from her backpack. “What’s your wish papa?”

‘To know what the fuck is wrong with my wife and for her to talk to me again’ Harry says to himself inside his head, but carefully spelt out ‘clean ocean’ for the girls instead.

“Finny,” Anya turns to her big brother. “What’s yours?”

“For mummy to be happy,” he says nonchalantly.

Harry’s heart breaks at Finn’s wish. Trying to sound just as nonchalant, he turns at the seven year old and asks him. “You don’t think mummy’s happy?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “She cries a lot lately.”

“Ooh,” says Anya, tapping the end of her pencil against her head. “That’s a good wish.”

Finn is right, YN does cry a lot lately. Even more than when she was still pregnant with the twins. Harry has asked her ‘what’s wrong?’ countless times but he’s met with silence every time. So he stopped asking.

“Papa, why does mummy cry a lot lately?” Pippa asks him.

Harry knows that the kids think he has the answer, he always has. He wishes he has the answer for this one. He remembers when he was little, he could just ask anything to his mum or dad and they would always have the answers to everything and he intends to do the same for his children. They’ve got plenty of time later to find out how scary the world actually is and that sometimes, they have to be okay in the unknown. But not right now.

“Mummy’s just tired, my love,” Harry smiles at her. “Sometimes people cry when they’re tired. Just like you when you had too much fun at the park.”

“Mummy!” Pippa cheers in excitement when she sees YN coming down the stairs with Flynn in her arms. Harry’s head snaps right away towards her. “Mummy, what’s your wish?”

“Hi,” YN smiles weakly at her big kids. “My wish?”

“Mhm,” Anya hums. “What’s your wish, mummy?”

“It’s for their homework,” Harry adds, setting the empty bottle down on the coffee table before holding the drowsy baby girl upwards to burp her. “They have to write down everyone’s wishes.”

“Oh,” says YN as she plops down on the couch opposite Harry. That’s the most she has been talking to him. One word—he’s not even sure if ‘oh’ counts as a word but screw it—one syllable. A short, simple ‘oh’ yet it already makes his heart bursts. “I wish, um,” they’re all waiting patiently for YN to finish her sentence. “I wish I could sleep. For a long time.”

“How long, mummy?” Pippa asks her.

“Just long,” YN says absently. “Very long.”

***

“You want some?” Harry says, pouring YN a glass of wine before she can even answer. Not that she’s likely to answer.

Harry slides the glass across the kitchen island, where YN stands on the other end of the counter, staring into space blankly. Without saying a word she glances at him before taking the glass into her hand and begins to take a sip.

“Hey,” Harry says cautiously. “You alright?”

She takes a slug of wine instead of answering her husband. Still looking at one of the walls in their kitchen that is full of frames. A big family photo with all five of them, taken in Positano when they went there for holiday last summer just before YN finds out that she was pregnant with the twins. A few paintings of the kids. One medium-sized classic painting of a village.

Harry lets out a sigh as they lapse into silence again. The tension is so thick it’s suffocating. He gets some plates out of the cupboard, ladle chicken stew out of the slow cooker and sprinkle it with coriander before putting them down on the table and reaches for cutlery in the drawer.

“Come on, let’s eat,” says Harry as he brings his glass of wine to the table.

YN shakes her head. “I’m not hungry.”

Harry lets out another sigh, heavier this time. The food in front of him looks much less appealing than before. “You need to eat, even just a little bit.”

“I’ll eat later when I’m hungry,” YN gulps her wine.

“Why don’t you want to eat together with me?” Harry asks her desperately. “You’re the one who always insists that couples who eats together stay together, so-”

“I’m not hungry,” YN repeats herself absently, cutting him off before she drains the rest of her wine into the sink and putting the glass into the dishwasher. “Just wanna sleep.”

***

The sound of a crying baby wakes Harry and YN up, and after realising it comes from their baby girl, Harry stands up hastily and walks towards the bassinet to pick her up and begins to rock her.

“Hi darlin’,” Harry coos at her. “What’s this about, huh? Something bothering you? You hungry?”

The usual sway and rock doesn’t work so Harry is pretty convinced that she is hungry. Realising that YN is awake, Harry turns to her. “You wanna ‘ave a go? I think she’s hungry.”

“No, you have it all in hand,” YN says bitterly. “I’m just gonna make it worse.”

“YN, don’t be like that,” Harry says, annoyance clearly shown in his tone. “We’re a team. We’re supposed to be a team.”

“Like what?” YN challenges him, getting just annoyed at him as he is at her. “M’not being like anything!”

“You’re being so difficult!” Harry practically shrieks, making the crying even worse and they can hear a little whimper from the bassinet which means baby boy is going to wake up and cry any seconds now. “I don’t know what to do. We barely talk now and when we do it always ends with a fight. I hate fighting with you!”

He can see the tears making its way out of her eyes and down her cheeks and he feels guilty for snapping at her like that. Her hormones are out of whack and he should’ve been more patient with her. “YN, talk to me, please. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’ll sleep with Flynn in the spare room,” YN says as she picks her baby boy out of his little bassinet.

“No!” Harry shakes his head frantically. “We’re sleeping here, in this room. I’ll take the couch. But we’re staying in this room.”

YN doesn’t say more, and Harry quickly goes downstairs to warm up a bottle for baby girl before he reappears in their bedroom. He feeds her on the nursery glider, and burp her, before he stands back up to cuddle her back to sleep.

“So, that’s it then?” Harry says bitterly as he sways his hips in place to rock his baby daughter when he realises that YN is still awake. “You won’t hold your daughter?”

YN looks at him and there’s something in her expression that makes Harry feels like someone has just stabbed him in the chest. She looks so sad. Her face missing the warmth and colour that are usually there. “I do hold her,” she responds weakly. “But you said it yourself that I’m too selfish to take proper care of her.”

“I never said that!” Harry whisper-shouts, covering the ear of the baby in his arm as he does so he wouldn’t wake her up again.

“Yes you did!” YN insists angrily. Fat, hot tears are coming back and rolling down her cheeks. “You said I was willing to starve my daughter just to listen to my ego.”

“Let’s talk outside,” says Harry as he puts baby girl down in her bassinet and roughly takes YN’s hand to follow him out of their bedroom.

“I have NEVER said that to you,” Harry’s loud voice booms in the kitchen, emphasizing ‘never’ as he stares deadly at her in the eyes. There’s a lump in the back of his throat but he ignores it, his annoyance at her for twisting his words gets the better of him.

“But you did!” YN’s voice is just as loud, but cracks in the end, and the sound of it makes Harry feels as if Chuck Norris himself just kicked him in the balls.

“I didn’t!” He feigns innocence. “I just told you the other day just to let me feed her because she’s hungry. That’s all. And…”

YN feels like the room is spinning. It’s going so fast that she has to grip on the edge of the counter to keep herself from falling. She still sees Harry’s mouth moving but she can’t hear a word. So she walks away from the kitchen. Hastily. Towards the stairs and climbs upstairs, ignoring Harry crying out, “Where are you going? Come back! We’re not finished yet!” not because she intends to but because she can’t hear anything.

***

It can be extremely frustrating to live with someone who’s distant and sad all the time. Especially when there are newborns involved, adjusting to life with a newborn is hard enough. With YN slipping further away from him every day, Harry feels like all the responsibility is weighed upon his shoulders. And he is tired.

The babies are six weeks old, it means it has been four weeks since the last time he had a proper conversation with YN. There, in that couch, the one that he’s sitting on right now. He should be sleeping right now. Sleep when the baby sleeps, they said. But it’s 1:45am. He knows that at least one of the babies are going to wake up any seconds for their next meal. He doesn’t have to worry about baby boy, he still nurses like a champ, it’s their baby girl that he’s worried about. And the fact that her own mother seems to resent her.

Maybe it’s all just in his head. Of course YN loves their baby girl. It’s her own daughter. It’s their daughter. If she can love Anya like her own, surely she’ll love her own baby, no?

Harry feels like their marriage is slipping away, especially now that they’re sleeping separately although still in the same room. They barely talk, and when they do, it always ends with a screaming match. He doesn’t know whether or not the big kids know about the fact that their parents are now basically strangers living in the same house, he hopes they don’t, but they’re smart and it wouldn’t surprise him if they do.

He still doesn’t understand how it all got this bad. Every night before he sleeps, he always makes time to recall the things that happened, thinking probably he has missed something crucial that ruined his marriage, but nothing comes out of it. They were still good, very good before the birth of the twins. And even for the first two weeks afterwards, it was still like a dream. But then the babies start to get fussy, and they begin to not get enough sleep. Was that the thing that ruined his marriage? It couldn’t be, right? They were just tired. They still are. But people don’t get a divorce because they’re tired.

Then he recalled that one time when he was frustrated, they were all frustrated, really. And he said something about the fact that YN shouldn’t listen to her ego. Okay, he admits, he was a little harsh, but in his defence he was frustrated. And in his mind, he wasn’t in the wrong in that situation. He just wanted to feed his daughter as soon as possible because he knew that she was hungry. Was that wrong?

This is hard. All of this. The babies, his suffering marriage, his three older children who still require a lot of his attention because they’re at that stage where they treasure conversation and playtime with their parents the most. The sleep deprivation. He’s lucky enough to be able to take a six months paternity leave; if he weren’t he would probably just explode.

After their marriage, or whatever left of it, becomes like this, the presence of YN is barely something that fills three of his senses; sight, hearing and smell. He knows that she’s there, with him, living in the same house. They wake up around the same time, they go to sleep around the same time. But it’s just that, nothing more. He knows that she’s there because he sees her pacing around their bedroom holding their baby boy. And that half of the laundry bin in their room filled with her dirty clothes as well as his. Her brown fuzzy slippers at the end of the bed when she sleeps. The delicious smell of coffee that she always makes fresh every morning. The mixed smell of roses and berries that is so uniquely her when she’s sitting or standing close enough to him. The sound of her when she’s talking to the kids, or coos at the babies. Even the soft sob that he hears sometimes in the bathroom in the middle of the night when she thinks that he’s asleep.

Harry misses his wife.

There’s a little routine of them that Harry can’t forget every time he sits on that couch in their living room. It’s one of Harry’s favourites. Usually, after they tuck the kids in bed, they would sit on the couch downstairs before they have their dinner. YN, still in her work outfits, would sit beside him, taking the remote from his hand and resting her head against his chest. The TV is always on, but they rarely actually watch it. After two to three minutes YN usually mumbles, “I’m knackered,” and he’d say “take a little nap, then” before he kisses the top of her head and she’d doze off not long after. It’s never long. Twenty, thirty minutes max, but it’s one of Harry’s favourite moments with her throughout the week. That time at the end of the day when he gets to hold his wife, who somehow still smells so good and looks so beautiful that sometimes still makes his heart skips a beat, even after a whole day of work and a couple hours of herding their small children through their night routines. All of the things that are bothering his mind always seems to disappear somehow. It’s just him, and her, and everything just seems right in the world.

Sometimes, when the frustration takes over, Harry can’t help but wonder if he could just confront her. ‘What do you want, really? Do you want to get a divorce? Just say it.’ Because he’s tired of feeling helpless. He’s tired of feeling like he may have a little hope one second yet having it crushed the next. But when he sees her, he doesn’t have the heart to.

She’s YN, his wife. He loves her and he can’t lose her.

***

It’s Thursday, which means it’s James’s turn to pick the kids up from school and takes them to the park afterwards. And since Anya goes to the same school as Finn and Pippa, he always takes her with them too. He knows how much Harry loves his children, and honestly he just likes children in general so he doesn’t have any problems with his ex-wife’s step-daughter.

James and the kids are already at Kensington Garden, and they’re just waiting for Harry who’s coming with the twins. Harry thought it might be good for YN to have some quiet time alone at home for a little before the madness begins again. Besides, it’s good for the twins to get some fresh air.

It’s not often you hear that someone’s ex-husband and current husband become friends, but somehow James and Harry do become friends. Surely it wasn’t easy at first, both of them had their pride at stake and neither of them was willing to let it go first, but they were both good men, they still are. And they knew that if they could put their ego aside, it would be better for everyone, so they did.

“Daddy, that’s papa and the babies!” Pippa says excitedly as she points at Harry who’s pushing the double pram into the gated playground area. “Papaaaa!”

“Where?” James looks around before he finds Harry and babies. “Ah! Here!” He immediately waves his hand so Harry sees him. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Harry greets him as he walks towards them. “Alright, mate?”

“Great! You?” James says as he looks down at the prams and coos at the babies. “God, these two already look so much bigger than last week. Hi! Hello!”

“M’good, thanks,” Harry smiles at him. “They grow like a weed.”

“You look rough mate,” James comments, chuckling lightly. They’ve clearly reached that level of friendship. And James is not wrong, Harry does look like he needs a wash and a good night’s sleep. “I can try to help more with the big kids if you’d like.”

“Thanks, mate,” Harry turns to him, waving at Finn who’s waving at him from the big pirate ship. “I appreciate it.”

“Hey, s’nothing,” James grins at him. “How’s YN? She alright?”

Harry lets out a heavy sigh. “Honestly? I’m not sure.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” James turns to him, looking concerned. Harry isn’t the type to air his dirty laundry, but this is James. He is YN’s ex-husband. He has known her longer than he has, and they were married for years. If there’s any chance for James to help him, no matter how small, he’s taking it. “Is everything alright? You know that you can talk to me, right?”

“Was it this hard after you had Finn and Pippa?” Harry finally asks him.

“God,” James shakes his head. “Newborns are rough, mate. I remember being so exhausted all the time.”

“Did you and YN fight a lot?”

“We were both cranky from the lack of sleep,” James explains. “So yeah. Do you fight a lot now? By the way, you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to of course.”

“No, s’fine,” Harry says. “Yeah we do. She’s just so sad and distant all the time and I don’t know what to do.”

“That explains, then,” James tells him. “Finn told me that she’s been crying a lot lately.”

“I swear I’ve tried everything, mate,” Harry sighs in defeat.

“Having a baby is hard, let alone two at once,” James begins. “So maybe she’s still trying to figure it out? I know you must’ve tried your best to cheer her up and all you need to do right now is just to be patient. I’m sure she’ll be alright once she gets the hang of it.”

“S’like,” Harry’s voice cracks and he hates it. “S’like there’s a really huge wall between us. I’ve tried to knock it down, tear it apart, but it just keeps getting stronger.”

“Look, mate,” James turns to him. “I know YN. She’s one of the kindest, most loving humans out there but I also know that she’s probably one of the most stubborn one too. You can’t tell her what to do. If she wants to open up to you, she will. Otherwise, she’ll just build that wall higher and stronger and if you insist to climb it there’s no way you’re getting out alive. Whatever it is that she’s feeling right now, or that she’s struggling with, you can’t make it go away. All that you need to do is just to be willing to wait this out with her.”

“Thanks, James,” Harry says. “Really, I appreciate this. Thank you.”

“Anytime, mate,” James smiles at him. “Remember, she’s just lost. She’s not gone. Just hang in there, yeah?”

***

“D’you wanna take a bath wi’me?” Harry looks at YN who’s putting Flynn in his bassinet. The big kids are asleep and the twins have just gone back to sleep with full bellies so it’s not likely for them to wake up anytime soon. “Might be nice, yeah? Been a while.”

YN shakes her head. “M’tired.”

“Please? I’ve missed you,” desperation evident in his voice. “S’gonna be nice. I’m gonna run it for us, yeah? We’ll use that soap, the one that we’re saving for the pope,” he chuckles lightly, hoping that the little Friends reference will make her laugh even just a little. Scratch that, just a smile from her will make him the happiest man alive.

“No!” YN exclaims, a little louder and harsher than she intends it to. “I’m tired Harry, just let me sleep.”

***

It’s 3am, and YN is surprised when she goes to the bathroom and finds Harry sitting on the floor, crying his heart out. His back is against the bathtub, and she immediately sits down next to him on the floor.

“H,” Harry shoots his head up to look at her as he hears his pet name rolls out of her lips. It has been weeks since the last time he hears that and God, does he miss it. H is one of the three pet names that YN has for him. The other two are darling and knobhead. She rotates those three pet names every day. To this day, Harry still has no idea where knobhead comes from and he’s not sure either about the rotation. What he knows is that every workday, at 7am, she’ll shake his shoulder gently, whispering softly in his ear: “Wake up, H.” Tomorrow it may be: “Knobhead, wake up.” He’ll never know for sure what he gets.

“H,” she repeats herself when she sees that Harry has stilled. “What’s the matter? I’ve never seen you cry like this before.”

For once, she’s met with silence. He doesn’t answer.

“Is this…” she trails off. “Are you crying about us? Our marriage? Or whatever left of that?” She chokes wetly.

Harry still doesn’t respond.

“Are you- are you crying because you want-” her breathing is getting harsher as if she’s choking. “You want to leave?”

“I wanted to,” Harry says weakly, admitting. Because he did. He had the thought. Divorce did cross his mind. It doesn’t matter for him whether he had been thinking about leaving for months or is it just five seconds of frustration before he snaps back to reality, he’s just as guilty.

“But I can’t,” he shakes his head. “You’re my wife. I’d chosen you. Can’t run away like a coward, s’my job to bring the smile back to your face.”

“You wanted to leave,” YN says at last, sitting motionless.

Harry just stares blankly at the cabinet under the sink.

“Harry,” YN says his name so low that it sounds more like a whisper. “Leave.”

Harry shakes his head frantically and YN continues. “This marriage sounds more like work on your part. I don’t know what happened with me,” she wipes away the tears that roll down her cheeks. “I hate to see you like this.”

“No,” says Harry firmly, still shaking his head.

“If it’s about the kids, don’t worry, you’ll-”

“It’s not about the kids!” Harry says quickly, cutting her off. “It’s about you. I can’t lose you.”

“Harry, I’ve changed,” YN whispers. “I don’t even recognise myself. You deserve better, just let me go.”

“No,” Harry shakes his head again. “I had chosen you, and you had chosen me. We’re gonna make this work, you and I.”

“But-”

Harry cuts her off with a kiss. A deep and passionate one, filled with desperate needs. Much to his surprise, she doesn’t pull away. It has been forever since the last time they kissed like that, and doesn’t matter their circumstances, neither of them wants it to end.

In one swift movement, he has her underneath him on their bathroom floor. His lips never leaving hers unless to take a breath, and even then it’s never long before he returns.

He leaves a trail of kisses down her neck, before pulling the tie on top of her nightdress to leave her chest bare before him. Within seconds he’s got her knees bent and her nightdress hitches up around her waist, his mouth feasting on her pulsing core. He has missed how she tastes.

She still doesn’t push him away when his tongue is buried deep inside her. He’s got both of his hands looped around her thighs before he thrusts one single digit into her. Slowly at first, but then he quickens the pace as it’s getting easier for his finger to pump into her. Not too fast yet not too slow; just a slow steady plunge deep into her heat.

She spreads her legs even more for him as his knee shoves between them. The better access makes him push his finger even deeper before he adds another. He puts pressure on her bundle of nerves with his thumb as his two thick digits make their way into her. It’s a stretch and she hisses as he buries them inside her to the knuckle.

With a gasp of his name, she falls into bliss. Closing her eyes as he pulls his fingers out of her. He climbs up and kisses her deeply as he takes out his member.

His hard cock curves up towards his belly, ruddy and dizzyingly thick. It has been a while and she forgot how intimidating his size is. He’s fully hard, the blunt tip is angry red and it’s leaking already. It looks threatening, and fuck, even the vein underneath is intimidatingly thick.

Too many moments later, he finally lets his cock dip down into her core, and she exhales the breath she’s been holding only to squeal when she feels him pressed against her folds. He really takes his time, coating his shaft with her slick before pushing into her again ever so slowly.

She winces as he thrusts inside her, but it feels amazing. The twinge of pain is easy to ignore with the way Harry feels inside of her and it’s literally just the tip. He lets out a groan, holding steady to give her time to adjust, knowing how much she needs it.

The second he’s fully in, she lets out a sigh, pulling him even closer to her body. He’s bare and hot inside her, the way he throbs is enough to force her eyes to close.

There’s a slowness to his movement that seems to translate into a deeper intimacy. There’s no rush, only a desperate need. He takes his time, not wanting it to be over anytime soon.

He’s sliding so deep, right into that pleasure-patch with every drive. She cries out, squirming underneath him as his cock hit painful depths. Her fingers hold onto his arms and she whimpers, unsure if it’s from discomfort or need.

It hurts, no doubt, it’s been a while after all. But his pace is steady and slow, and she knows that he’s taking every moment of her anguish and need. She moans into his mouth, practically panting as he kisses her over and over again, never leaving her lips for too long, nipping and sucking her bottom lip.

He feeds his cock into her again and again, coaxing her heat open with each stroke. The bump and drag of his member against her walls is nothing short of exquisite and dangerously intoxicating.

Everything goes white as she reaches her high. There’s no other sound except for the whir of pounding blood in her ears. She’s pretty sure she’s stopped breathing. He kisses her again on the lips, then her forehead, before he reaches for something from the cabinet under the sink to clean her up. He carries her to their bed, kissing her once more before he climbs onto his side of the bed. Mumbling “night, love” as he turns off the light on his bedside table.

She waits until he’s fully asleep before she wiggles out of his embrace. Scooting as far away from him as she can without falling out of the bed. And then she cries.

***

It’s frustrating to look in the mirror and not being able to recognise your own reflection.

For the past four weeks, when YN sees her reflection in the mirror, all she sees is that unrecognised woman standing before her. She looks sad and tired. There are two giant bags under her eyes, and she looks so cold and colourless that she thinks that whoever it is in the reflection must be sick.

She has never felt anything like this before. She is so anxious all the time. Although she is no stranger to anxiety, it has never got this bad. She is tired yet she’s struggling to sleep. She feels tense and irritable, and she has the urge to cry a lot more lately.

She feels terrible for not being able to bond with her baby girl the way she bonds with her baby boy. She tried, desperately, but when her baby girl refused to nurse it made her feel like she’s a failure. She is still feeling that way, especially every time she sees Harry feeding her with a bottle. She has this horrible sense of impending doom, like her babies are slowly starving and it was because she was a terrible mother.

“Harry, I think your wife has postnatal depression,” says the health visitor to Harry after she checks on YN and the babies. Physically, the three of them are doing amazing.

“I had a feeling,” Harry turns to her. “What should I do, then? What can I do to help her? Does she need some prescriptions?”

“Not yet,” she shakes her head gently. “I don’t think it’s very severe. But what you do matters significantly. Her moods and emotional vulnerability will likely get in the way of your communication for now, but keep assure her that you are there for her. Tell her that you know she feels terrible. Tell her she’ll get better and that she is doing the best she can. Tell her that she can still be a good mother even if she feels terrible. Most importantly, tell her that you love her. Your babies love her, all your children. She might not believe you when you tell her that she’s a good mother but tell her anyway. I can schedule a counselling for her but for now, make sure that you make time just for her. Five minutes a day for a start is enough. No babies, no paperwork, no TV, nothing but the two of you. Talk to her. She’ll probably ignore you at first but she’ll talk soon enough. Then you can gradually increase the amount of time you spend together just the two of you.”

“Thank you so much,” Harry looks at her, feeling hopeful.

“M’just doing my job,” she smiles at Harry. “Call if you have a question about it. Remember, just be patient.”

***

Little things matter.

After Harry got the advice from the health visitor and James, he knows that what he does really matter to help his wife, and he is willing to do whatever it takes for him to get his wife back. Every Sunday morning, he makes a trip to the Farmer’s Market to get her some daisies because it’s her favourite flowers. They take five minutes each day just for each other after all five of the kids are asleep, and although the health visitor was right and YN didn’t even say a word at first, now they begin to talk again and even laugh together even just a little.

They also begin to do the school run together. Fortunately, it’s close enough for them to just walk. Most of the time they take the pushchairs for the babies so they can walk around in the park after they drop the kids at school, but sometimes they just put them in a sling and carry them. It’s also the perfect time for Harry and YN to talk because the babies are the happiest in the prams or in the slings and they always sleep through their morning walk.

Harry knows that it’s probably too soon to say, but Harry feels like YN is slowly but surely coming back to him. They eat together again, they talk, and although Harry isn’t back in bed just yet, he’s now able to kiss her goodnight, which already makes Harry the happiest.

It’s 2:30am, and the babies are up crying because they’re hungry. YN is feeding Flynn on the nursery glider and Harry is about to head downstairs to make a bottle for Mila when YN suddenly stops him. “Harry, wait-”

“Yeah?” He looks at her, thinking that she’ll probably just ask him to get her something from the kitchen.

“Can I try first?”

Harry can’t believe what he hears, grinning instantly. “You want to try to feed her?”

YN nods. “Can I?”

“Love, you don’t have to ask!” Harry says, walking back to the bassinet to take their baby girl out and put her in YN’s free arm so she can feed her as well. She brings the baby closer to her chest and neither of them can believe what they see. “Oh my God-”

“Harry!” YN exclaims excitedly. “She’s latching! Oh my God, she’s doing it!”

“I see it!” Harry looks at her proudly, before leaning down to kiss her head. “My best girl.”

“Harry,” YN sighs happily. Happy tears rolling down her cheeks and Harry quickly wipes it away.

“Told ya,” Harry grins at her although his cheeks aren’t technically dry either. “It’s gonna be alright, I knew it.”

“I’m so happy right now,” YN tells him, making his grin wider. “But I know that I’m not back to my old self just yet. It’ll take some time.”

Harry leans down to kiss the top of her head now. “Darlin’, just knowing that you’re happy for now is enough for me. I know it’ll take some time, but it’s gonna get better, yeah? Trust me.”

“What if it takes years?”

Harry smiles at her. “I’ll wait it out with you.”

“You say that now, but-”

“In sickness and in health,” Harry quickly cuts her off. “For better or for worse.”

“Harry-”

“I love you. Completely besotted, absolutely enamoured, hopelessly in love wi’you. I don’t care if you don’t believe me right now, I’m telling you anyway because it’s true. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to remind you how much I love you if that’s what it takes.”

“H,” YN says before they lapse into silence. The pause seems forever but hearing her calling him with that pet name again after a while, he might bursts in happy tears right there right now. “I love you.”

Harry grins at her. Fat, hot tears rolling down his cheeks now and those are certainly happy tears. “Say it again.”

“I love you,” YN smiles at him.

“Again,” he begs. “Please.”

“I love you, H,” she repeats herself. “I take back what I said the other day. Don’t let me go.”

Harry leans down again, trying not to squeeze their babies, and this time to press his lips against hers. “Never.”

#harry #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #husband!harry #dad!harry #dad harry imagines #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles ff #harry styles blurbs #harry styles drabbles #harry styles concepts #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry talk

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dindjarindiaries · 5 years ago

Text

Thunder - Chapter 7: Lightning

gif via @pascalplease

summary: The group goes on a weekend getaway before they ship themselves off for training and service, completely unaware of the storm that still brews over Frankie and Luciana—which only grows stronger.

warnings: some angst, fluff, soft smut (*gasp*)

rating: M

word count: 6.793k

masterlist

chapter 7: lightning

Frankie never imagined he could have a life so full of sweet torture.

The weeks following graduation and the beginning of his and Luciana’s romantic relationship were full of nothing but close calls, stolen kisses, and lots of secret dates. Frankie came to realize how much more beautiful the view of the stars was from the roof when the silhouette of Luciana on top of him contrasted against them, and Luciana came to appreciate the fact that Frankie’s truck had a continuous seat that allowed for her to be laid back completely against it in the heat of any moment. The day they snuck off to the dive and were caught sharing shakes with their hands folded together over the table, Frankie thought Marlena was going to have a heart attack.

“Are my contacts messed up, or am I seeing this right?” she’d asked when she came over to the table, nearly spilling the drinks in her shock.

Frankie and Luciana had both laughed with pink cheeks. “No, your vision’s alright,” Frankie had assured her, giving his confidante a warm smile that only grew once he met Luciana’s gaze again. He’d also given her hand a squeeze that caused a bright light to flicker in her dark eyes.

“But it’s, you know…” Luciana had trailed off and used her free hand to place a finger over her lips, informing Marlena that things were being kept low-key. She’d nodded in understanding and flashed the couple a wink, simply setting down the drinks and smiling before she’d left them alone again.

But the honeymoon phase is now quickly coming to a close. Frankie can sense it when he and Luciana are alone, a tension growing between them that’s full of unspoken desperation. Frankie’s due to leave for training as a pilot with the Delta Force in a week, which means months upon months of never getting to see Luciana. In the meantime, she’ll be starting a temp job to save up for opening her own business someday. The reality of life is harsh and unrelenting, leaving the couple uncertain as to how they’ll maintain the beautiful relationship they’ve started to nurture and have yearned much too long for.

This doesn’t include how exhausting it is to keep everything a secret. Thankfully, the boys haven’t suspected a thing—even Santiago, which is the biggest relief—but Frankie and Luciana being trapped in the same house with rooms just down the hall from each other has been so torturous that Frankie finds himself tossing and turning more often at night than he’d like, dreaming of the moment when they can be together in all the ways they want to.

Going on a weekend trip with everyone only makes Frankie dread this feeling more.

The group decided to venture on the true last hoorah before they all would leave for the Delta Force, renting out a large space for the weekend at the local lake. The plot of land included a two-story main house with enough room for everyone, but also a guesthouse that followed down a trail into the nearby woods. The boys figured it could be of use in case Will and Benny threatened to kill each other—though Frankie had other thoughts for it. But even he knew he wouldn’t risk it while being so close to the guys and Santiago.

Frankie thinks of this while he looks upon the site from the house’s back porch, letting out a soft breath as his forearms lean against the wooden railing. From here, he can see that trail leading into the woods, along with the lake that spreads out wide ahead of him. A gentle breeze tugs at the curls of hair around his ears and on the back of his neck, and he readjusts his hat in hopes of refocusing himself. He knows the day ahead will be full of good quality time with the group, which—though it makes him extremely happy—also means he’ll have to act as normal as possible around his girlfriend. Frankie wouldn’t be so worried if swimming wasn’t on the list.

The simple thought of seeing Luciana in a bathing suit was enough to make him want to spiral out of control.

Frankie blinks a few times and gives his head a shake, standing back up from where he’s been leaning as he hears footsteps behind him. He sees Will carrying a cooler and pausing to look at Frankie with a gesture of his hand towards a similar-looking one off to the side. “Hey Fish, mind bringing that one down with you to the dock?” Will asks. Frankie nods without hesitation, grateful for the distraction as he picks up the cooler loaded with drinks and follows Will down the stone-filled path to the dock. Thankfully, Frankie’s already fit himself in his essentials for a day spent down by the lake, one of his usual t-shirts paired simply with his swim shorts as his sunglasses help his hat in shielding his eyes from the sun.

Down at the dock, there’s a few Adirondack-style chairs along with a table. There’s a part of the dock that extends further into the lake, making it ideal for anyone crazy enough to jump off it. Frankie smiles a bit at the sight, always having been a fan of lakesides and the fun that comes with it. It’s slightly nostalgic, since he fondly remembers him and his parents traveling up to a lakehouse his uncle had owned, but it only makes him happier to be sharing this weekend with his newer family.

Frankie puts the cooler down next to where Will’s dropped his by the table. When Will already helps himself to a beer from inside, he offers one up to Frankie, who doesn’t decline as he settles into one of the chairs and takes a sip. He thinks, as he looks out at the lake and draws another sip from his bottle, that he might just be able to clear his mind and relax. But then the rest of the group joins them, arriving in a four-person clump that Frankie tries to resist staring at. Once they come into sight, though, he’s temporarily relieved of the view that could give something away, as Luciana’s hidden it within one of her favorite large t-shirts. Still, he takes another sip of his beer to hide anything he might be displaying unknowingly on his expression, trying to ignore the way he can practically feel Luciana’s gaze burning through him.

“Damn, it’s hot out here,” Benny comments, already sliding off his t-shirt and looking as if he’s about to jump headfirst into the water.

“Hold on, hot shit,” Luciana stops him, chuckling a bit as she presses a hand against his chest. She takes a bottle of sunscreen out of the bag that hangs from her shoulder. “Safety first.”

Benny sighs, taking the bottle from Luciana while trying hard to hide a smile. “Alright, alright.” He laughs to himself as he starts to apply it. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was Fish trying to parent me, not you.”

Luciana shrugs, looking over at Frankie with a sly smile. “Maybe I’ve picked up a few things.”

“Jesus,” Santiago mutters playfully. “We need to stop letting you two spend so much time together. We can’t have two parents around here.”

Frankie chuckles nervously and tips his hat, hoping he can hide his face for a moment as he looks down at the beer resting against his thigh. “It’ll make you safer,” Luciana insists. “All of you. You’re too chaotic for your own goods.”

“And we’ve made it this far, haven’t we?” Benny jokes as he finishes with the sunscreen, tossing it back to Luciana who’s since placed her bag down by another one of the chairs. She catches it swiftly, resting it on the arm of the chair as she shakes her head with a soft laugh. Frankie looks back up at her and feels thankful for the sunglasses that hide his admiring gaze. He can’t stop studying the way her brown eyes sparkle into a golden color in the sun’s lighting, the freckles on her cheeks that he adores so much becoming as prominent as ever. Her dark, wavy hair falls around her shoulders and flows gently with the wind. It looks so soft and Frankie knows it feels even softer. He wishes for nothing more than to run his fingers through it like he loves to.

Frankie can’t believe she’s his—but he also can’t believe that he doesn’t even get to show it.

He thinks he can deal with it at the moment, though he knows that’s bound to change very soon. As the boys prepare themselves to join Benny in the lake, they take their rounds with the sunscreen, but Frankie remains glued to his chair and sips his beer. He watches more closely when Santiago becomes the next one to possess it, reaching everywhere he can before turning to his sister. “Luci,” he calls for her, shaking the bottle in his hand once he catches her attention. “Can you get my back?”

“Yeah,” Luciana agrees, walking over to her brother and taking the bottle from him. Frankie’s distracted for a moment as he hears a splashing sound from further down the dock, and he watches as the two brothers dive in followed by Tom. Frankie tuts to himself, knowing they hadn’t let their sunscreen soak in for nearly half the time they’re supposed to.

“What about you, Fish?” Benny calls to him from the water.

Frankie shakes his head and holds up his bottle. “Can’t let this get warm!” Frankie exclaims back to him. “Plus, I gotta soak in the sun some more. I’m not hot enough yet.”

“It’s like fuckin’ ninety degrees out here!” Benny retorts. “That’s not hot enough for you?” Frankie laughs and simply shrugs in response.

“Relax, Benny,” Will scolds his brother. “He’s Cat-fish. He’ll come in on his own time.”

Frankie lifts his beer to his lips again. “Roger that,” he calls out to them, finally easing Benny for the moment.

His attention draws back to his girlfriend when he hears her brother go on. “Let me help you,” Santiago’s saying, and Frankie looks back to them just in time to see Luciana nod. She crosses her arms to grab the hem of her t-shirt with both hands at once, pulling it over her head in one swift movement. She’s wearing a two-piece suit that’s salmon-colored—which contrasts perfectly with her tanned skin—and is styled with a classic string top and cheeky bottoms. It’s displaying those same assets Frankie had gotten to see that night at the bar, but so much more of them.

Frankie swallows hard. Damn.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen Luciana in a swimsuit before; it’s just different now that Frankie’s with her, knowing that in any other circumstance, he could have the honor of running his hands or even his lips over every curve he’s seeing. Frankie had always wanted to respect her before, and he still does—but now that he has the knowledge of Luciana particularly liking when his gaze admires her in such a way, Frankie’s not afraid to do so anymore.

At least, whenever her brother isn’t watching over her like a goddamn hawk.

Frankie makes himself look away while Santiago applies the sunscreen to his sister’s back, not really wanting to witness the sight and knowing he’ll just wish he could’ve done it himself. He finishes off the rest of his beer but pretends there’s still some in it for the sake of avoiding jumping into the lake just yet. He only looks away from his bottle when he hears Santiago running to jump off the dock—also seeming to forget that his sunscreen’s freshly applied—and sees Luciana finishing the rest just a few steps away from his chair.

Frankie’s gaze studies each movement of her hand upon her skin, rubbing at her arms, and then her legs, and then her stomach, and then her neck and chest. He watches as her fingers take their time rubbing it in, making sure it gets into every necessary nook of her collarbones and then closer to her cleavage. His fingers subconsciously grip the edge of the chair’s arm tighter. Frankie sees her gaze meet his as it flickers with amusement and shared desire.

“Something wrong, Flyboy?” Luciana prompts, making a point to slowly run her fingers back up from the middle of her chest to her neck.

Frankie clenches his jaw before he releases a curt sigh. “Nope,” he answers, clearing his throat as he catches the singular drop of beer that’s left in his bottle. “Everything’s fine over here.”

“Looks like it.”

Frankie watches Luciana’s gaze observe him quickly yet pleasantly, and he shakes his head with a playful roll of his eyes. He looks to the water to see the boys thoroughly distracted with trying to dunk each other under the water and see who can last the longest, and so he drops his voice low as he speaks to her again. “You know, you’re not making this any easier.”

Luciana shrugs nonchalantly, tossing the sunscreen bottle between her hands as she stares him down. “Maybe I’m not trying to.” She smiles slyly as Frankie’s fingers grip the arm of the chair again, both in nervousness and in frustration. He knows that if she acts up any more than this, he’ll break. “Need some help with your sunscreen?” She shakes the bottle at him.

Frankie knows this is a bad idea. He knows that the moment he feels her hands on him, he could absolutely lose his cool—but he also knows that he’s always been a calm man, and he can maintain that if he fights hard enough. He won’t let Luciana win this little game of hers. So, he nods, standing up and setting his hat and sunglasses on the chair as his shirt joins them next. When he faces Luciana again, he sees her eyeing him with her teeth grazing her lower lip. He nearly growls and pulls her to him on the spot, but once again, he reminds himself to have self-control. She meets his gaze and continues to attempt biting back a smile.

“What a hottie,” Luciana comments playfully yet truthfully, walking around him to work on his back. Her voice comes from next to his ear when she continues. “Whoever gets to date you must be pretty damn lucky.”

“Yeah, she is,” Frankie remarks, attempting to keep a smirk off his face as he now faces the boys who are still playing further off in the water. When he feels Luciana’s hands on him, he can tell she’s moving them in a manner that’s unnecessary to the actual application of the sunscreen, and he grits his teeth before he adds something else. “And she’s about to get me in trouble.”

A light scoff comes from behind him. “Trouble?” Luciana’s hand that’s been rubbing into his shoulder quickly drifts off to give his upper arm a squeeze. “I think she likes trouble.”

Frankie swallows hard, attempting to compose himself until she’s finished her work. Once he’s sure that she’s done, he allows himself to get out a proper response. “Good—because now she’s about to get herself into trouble.” He turns around to face Luciana, seeing her staring up at him with a darkened gaze and a raised eyebrow.

“How so?” Her voice is soft as velvet and it makes Frankie wish more than anything that he could just whisk her away.

Instead, he takes the bottle from her hands and tosses it near her bag, grinning when he sees her shocked expression. “You’ll see.” He throws his arm around her waist to hoist her body over his shoulder, laughing as he hears her gasp in shock. She lets out a laugh with him once he starts to walk further down the dock, and her hands lightly beat against his back.

“Frankie! You asshole!” Luciana continues to laugh in sync with Frankie. “Put me down!”

Frankie doesn’t say anything as he walks closer and closer to the edge of the dock. “I thought you said you liked trouble.”

“Morales, I swear to God, if you’re throwing me in the water—.”

“You were being bad, García.” Frankie keeps his voice low enough for only them to hear, despite the fact that the boys are closer now—though still not in hearing range. “And you know what happens to girls when they haven’t been good?” Frankie moves his hands to grip both sides of her bare waist. “They get punished.”

Frankie gives the skin there a subtle squeeze that causes a breathless gasp to fall from Luciana’s lips, especially as he lifts her from his shoulder and tosses her off the dock in front of them. She disappears under the water a moment later, and Frankie laughs when the cheers of the boys ring out upon the sight. As soon as she surfaces, Frankie jumps in right beside her, hoping to catch her off guard with the larger splash as he surfaces with more laughter.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Frankie asks her when he catches his breath.

“Motherfucker!” Luciana curses, splashing Frankie with some of the lakewater despite the laughter that falls from her lips. She swims closer to him and lowers her voice so that she’s sure he’s the only one who hears the words she says next. “Say anything like that again, and I swear I’ll jump your bones right here, Morales.”

Frankie raises an eyebrow at her. “Is that a challenge?”

Luciana smirks at him. “It’s a promise.”

Frankie gives her a nod. “In that case, I’ll hold you to your word, ma’am.”

Luciana smiles and shakes her head before they both swim over to where the boys are still fooling around.

The group then continues to swim until they’ve exhausted themselves, engaging in random games of making the biggest splashes from the dock and intense chicken fights along the way. It’s dinnertime when the group finally hikes back up to the lakehouse, and after taking the time to wash themselves up, they have a cookout and eat upon paper plates at the table on the porch. The sun starts to set while they eat, not sinking too low at all but just enough to make the sky glow with stunning colors. They follow up dinner with a campfire and s’mores, but end up getting sent inside when a rumble of thunder sounds in the distance. They make it inside just in time when it starts to pour, finishing off the night with card games and beer before their exhaustion starts to get the best of them. Everyone heads to bed and decides to call it a night.

Except for Frankie. He’s in his room, sitting on the edge of his bed restlessly—his thoughts laying with the woman whose own room is right down the hall.

He keeps replaying the scene from today over and over in his head. Being around Luciana for so long today, watching her laugh and admiring her various looks and seeing the warmth and love she holds for him in her eyes without being able to say anything or touch her or kiss her drove him absolutely insane. Now, all he can think about is having that opportunity back. He fantasizes about his fingers gliding over her smooth, tanned skin, his lips following them as he proves just how much she means to him.

They haven’t gotten to engage in an activity like that just yet. Frankie’s always put a stop to it whenever they’ve come close. He knows that once they cross that line, it’s truly over for them—they’ll be completely tied to one another, and while that’s all Frankie could ever want, he’s afraid on her behalf. He doesn’t want to share something so beautiful with her and then abandon her a few days later. Frankie would never want to break her heart like that. At the same time, he’s yearning so badly for it that he’s not sure he can handle holding himself back anymore. But he doesn’t want it to happen somewhere quick and uncomfortable, like in his truck on one of their secretive dates. Frankie wants it to be on their own time with their own terms, where he can fully gaze upon her and she on him as they fully reveal just how deep their love goes.

Luciana must be thinking all the same things, because a few moments later, he hears his door open slowly. Frankie meets Luciana’s brown gaze that somehow glitters even in the darkness of the room. She looks to be just as restless as himself.

“Frankie,” Luciana whispers, keeping her voice extremely hushed in fear of waking anyone else up. She gestures with her head to the hallway. “Let’s go.”

Frankie furrows his brow. “Go?” he echoes her. “Where?”

Luciana points with her hand to the window beside Frankie’s bed. “The guesthouse.”

Frankie looks out the window and notices that it’s still storming—badly. He turns back to her with slight concern. “Luci, it’s pouring, and it’s a far walk. And what if someone wakes up?”

Luciana shakes her head. “No one will hear us above the storm.” As if on cue, a loud roll of thunder sounds, proving her point about the volume. “Plus, I’m sure there’s an umbrella somewhere around here.”

Frankie sighs, knowing this is his one opportunity to finally be alone with his girlfriend and maybe even get to talk over everything that’s on his mind. He gives in with a nod, slipping on the nearest pair of shoes and quietly following her out of his room. He closes it behind him in hopes of the boys thinking he’s still in there. Together, they tiptoe past the other bedrooms and down the stairs, relieved to go near the front door and spot a ceramic bucket full of umbrellas. Frankie takes one and readies it, letting Luciana open the door as he unfolds it and holds her close to him underneath it. They close the door behind him and try to hold in their chuckles as they hurry through the rain, following the path down to the guesthouse without causing a lot of noise.

Soon, they’re pushing into the front door of the guesthouse, releasing their laughs there as Frankie folds up the umbrella and closes the door behind them. He rests the now-soaked umbrella against the wall, taking a quick glance over the house. It has a log-cabin feel, fully furnished with a couch, tables, decorations, and a separate bedroom. There’s not much else Frankie’s able to observe before he feels Luciana’s hands on his face, desperately pulling it towards her as her mouth practically devours his own. Frankie returns her kiss with just as much passion, his hands gliding down to her waist and pulling her tight against him. They don’t dare to separate until they’re out of air, breathing in the same space as they pull apart yet remain close. Luciana’s gaze searches Frankie’s with nothing but sheer affection and desire.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” Luciana confesses, pressing another kiss upon his lips and pulling away to brush her nose against his.

Frankie hums in agreement. “You were making it real fuckin’ difficult to keep my hands off you,” he informs her, seeing her smirk before he hides his face in her neck. He places a series of open-mouthed kisses there that leave Luciana sighing with pleasure, hands burying into his thick hair as he licks and sucks at all the right spots. “Wearing that pretty little suit of yours…” Frankie trails off to tend more to one of her sweet spots, smiling against her heated skin when he draws a soft moan out from her, “... flaunting that beautiful body that drives me crazy. You knew what you were doing.” Frankie continues his work on her neck until he’s on the brink of leaving a mark, knowing it’s too risky to go through with it as badly as he wants to.

When Frankie rises back up to meet her face again, he receives a series of kisses along his jaw, making him swallow hard as Luciana begins to respond. “I would’ve let you take me right then and there, Frankie.” Her words ghost softly over the skin of his face, and Frankie never breaks his gaze with her as she faces him seriously. “I still would.” Luciana’s tone is gentle, as if she’s afraid that something louder will break the precious moment they’re in. She searches his gaze for a moment, and Frankie feels his chest tighten in anticipation as she goes on. “Frankie, is that something you’re okay with, or is there a reason you’ve been stopping whenever we’ve come close?”

Frankie releases a soft sigh, brushing a hand over the side of Luciana’s face continuously as he answers her. “I’d love that more than anything, Luce.” His tone matches her, hushed as if someone could overhear it. “I just… I was worried because, y’know, I’m leaving soon, and I didn’t want to make you feel as if I was just using you for a quick fuck before I went.”

Luciana’s brow furrows immediately as she holds his face between her hands. “I know you’d never do that, Frankie. Don’t worry.” She kisses him quickly, pressing her forehead against his afterwards. “I know that this is real. That’s why…” Luciana pauses, and Frankie feels one of her hands travel from his face down his chest and closer to his waistband, “... I want to do this. I want to be able to fully express it—with you. I want to feel this connection and hold on to the memory of it while you’re gone.” Her hand continues to go lower as her lips press against his ear. “I can’t hold back anymore. I need you, Frankie Morales.”

Frankie lets out a shaky breath at her words, wondering how he could’ve possibly been honored with being the man who gets to hear them uttered from her lips. Once her hand hooks on his waistband, Frankie grabs her wrist to stop her, pulling her mouth to his in a heated kiss. Luciana’s hands start digging into his hair and over his back while his drift over her ass, giving it a light squeeze just to feel her moan against him. He wastes no time picking her up so that she wraps her legs around his waist, easily navigating them to the bedroom he’d seen before. Though there’s no one else around, Frankie still closes the door behind them, letting only the pale moonlight hidden behind storm clouds light the room as he sets her back down against the bed. Luciana pulls his body against hers by grabbing the material of his shirt in her fists, instantly tugging at it to try to get it off. That becomes the first thing to go, and the next few minutes are a blur of things getting thrown around and kisses being left on lips, jaws, necks, and whatever else can be reached in the heat of the moment.

Once they’re skin-on-skin, Frankie feels the fire in him blazing brighter than ever before, the warmth spreading from his stomach to his chest as his heart thuds against the skin there. He practically loses his breath when Luciana rolls them over so that she’s straddling him, separating her face from his to take a look at his body. Frankie’s thankful for the darkness of the room as his cheeks redden in sudden embarrassment and insecurity. For a quick moment, he starts to wonder if she’s regretting this, regretting him. His mouth goes dry, and the longer Luciana stays silent with her gaze and fingertips brushing over his body, the more nervous he becomes. All he can hear is the soft panting of their breath and the rain that pours over the house.

“Frankie,” Luciana finally speaks, her tone breathless and thick with genuine emotion. She pauses to look in his eyes again, and even in the darkness of the room, Frankie can read her look perfectly. He sees all the admiration, love, and deep desire she has for him—and it melts his heart. Luciana’s hand brushes over his cheek as she smiles at him. “You’re so handsome. I’ve always thought that, but now that I really get to see it… I just can’t believe it. I’m so lucky.”

Frankie feels speechless for a moment, unable to believe that such an ethereal creature as Luciana would ever say something like that about him. He swallows hard, hands grabbing her waist as he flips them over again so that he’s hovering over her. Frankie’s hands trace over her curves, forming to them as if he’s known them forever. He bites back a smile at the sigh it draws from her lips. “You… You’re a masterpiece,” Frankie confesses honestly, his gaze meeting hers and drowning it with pure affection. “I noticed that from the day I met you. I always—well, I always thought you’d end up with someone who’s just as perfect as you are.”

Luciana reaches for one of Frankie’s hands, leaving a kiss on his palm. “I did.”

Frankie’s heart warms just as much as his stomach, now, and he can’t help smiling before he presses his lips to hers in another heated yet passionate kiss. Their hands can’t stop exploring each other and neither one of them could ever complain about it. They’re taking in each other’s forms, memorizing them, wanting to grab at them and feel them while they can—before it’s too late, when they’ll have to try to imagine them.

After a few moments of exploration, Frankie lets one of his hands go lower, hesitating to wordlessly ask for permission. Luciana’s hand pushes his further, and that becomes Frankie’s cue to go ahead with it. Frankie works her body like he’s always known it, hitting all the right spots that have her gasping and moaning and pleading into the heated skin of his neck. He can tell, though, that she’s trying to hold these sounds back—and that’s something he won’t have.

“Let it out,” Frankie murmurs into his ear, using his free hand to lift her face from his neck. “Let me hear you.” With his words, Frankie adds a new pressure that draws a soft cry from her lips, and he smirks pleasantly at the sound of it. “There you go, baby girl, that’s it. It’s just us out here. Be as loud as you can.”

And Luciana takes him up on that. That fire within Frankie continues to grow more and more as she pleads his name and writhes beneath his touch, and he realizes that even without his own contact—just by making the woman he loves feel so pleasured—he’s feeling something he never has before. He continually mumbles praises when she reaches her first high, stroking her cheek with his free hand as he does so. Her hands grip onto him for dear life and Frankie wouldn’t exchange her touch for anything. Frankie can tell she wants to return the favor for him somehow, but he shakes his head.

“Another time,” Frankie insists, his words breathless as he finds himself unable to wait any longer than he already has to feel her. “Right now, I need you.”

Luciana’s gaze sparkles up at him, and she nods as she brushes an admiring hand over his cheek. “Please, Frankie—,” she pauses as she pulls his lips to his, leaving a quick yet passionate kiss there, “—make love to me.”

Frankie doesn’t need anymore convincing. He entwines one of his hands with hers and keeps the other tight on her waist, pressing his forehead against her own as they finally start to make the connection that brings their love to a physical manifestation. As Frankie slowly eases into his first move, he draws a long, pleasured whimper from Luciana’s lips, causing him to hum as he presses a kiss upon the tip of her nose. “It’s alright, Luce,” Frankie whispers to her, his voice soft even as he grits his teeth to try to keep his own grunt hidden. “You’re alright. Just feel me—feel us.”

“I do,” Luciana breathes, her eyelids fluttering as she stares up at him. “I fucking feel you, Frankie.”

Frankie lets out a light chuckle that’s cut off by his own hiss when he moves again. He earns a similar sound from Luciana, only fueling him further as he moves in a steadier rhythm. Frankie squeezes her hand as they go on, his other hand steadying her as they continue moving together. It’s a feeling so heavenly yet so natural, as if they were made to be together like this. Frankie feels more confident than he ever has before and he swears he’s never felt so complete. His mind, his heart, and his body are all finally finding their matches in a single person, someone whose heart seems to beat to the same rhythm as his own. These thoughts hit Frankie all at once and he’s surprised he’s even able to conceive of them as his body rejoices in what he’s experiencing.

It’s when Frankie hears Luciana’s voice call for him that he finds himself losing any self-control he’d maintained before. “Frankie,” she pleads, as if asking for more. He doesn’t hesitate to give it to her—after all, he’d give her the world if he could.

As he complies with her request, Frankie speaks to her, having to swallow back any other sounds as he absorbs hers. “I love the way you say my name,” Frankie tells her behind gritted teeth, though his voice is full of nothing but admiration. “I love the way you sound. I love—,” Frankie cuts himself off with a groan that he releases into her neck, “—fuck, I love the way you feel. I love you. Shit, I love you so much, Luciana.”

Frankie has to stop himself because he’s coming too dangerously close to that point they can’t return from and there’s no more coherence left for either one of them. He earns a returned proclamation of love from Luciana along with his name when her moment comes, perfectly in time with a roll of thunder from outside as a flash of lightning shows Frankie a quick sight of them joining together, finally becoming one not just in mind and heart but also in body. It’s enough to bring him to a place he’s never gone before, a feeling higher than he could ever go in one of his planes or helicopters, and he swears he’s finally been able to take a star as he lets go and starts to relax in time with the love of his life.

They remain where they are for a few moments as their chests heave in the same, simultaneous rhythm, gazes never separating as they wordlessly appreciate everything they’ve just experienced. Frankie swears that Luciana’s eyes start to tear up, but he isn’t sure if it’s from pain or pleasure. He hopes that it’s the latter and that it’ll dissipate with time—but just in case, he lavishes her face with breathless and air-light kisses, hoping to earn a smile from her as he silently praises her for how she’d taken him.

Once they’ve recovered, Frankie lets himself rest beside her, burying them in the sheets as he pulls her body to his. Their legs tangle together in a desperate need to maintain some kind of contact, and Frankie runs one hand continuously through Luciana’s hair as she buries her face in his neck. He tries not to feel nervous at her silence, hoping it’s just her absorbing the intimate moment they’ve just shared. Frankie swears he’s never felt so connected to another person in his life, and he knows he’d give anything to make sure he never loses it—never loses her.

Suddenly, Frankie hears Luciana heaving a large breath, and he realizes what’s happening. He pulls her away from him so that she’s facing him again, and his heart shatters in his chest when he sees tears falling down her cheeks. Frankie grimaces as he holds her face delicately in his hands, thumbs attempting to brush the tears away as he searches her gaze. “Hey, baby, don’t cry,” Frankie coos gently, resting his forehead against hers. “What is it?” He prays he didn’t hurt her. He knows he wouldn’t forgive himself for it.

Luciana looks as if she can’t speak for a moment, and it makes a pit grow in Frankie’s stomach. He’s rarely ever seen her cry and so he knows that it takes a lot for that to happen. When her lip only trembles more and her eyes cloud with more tears, Frankie’s heart nearly flies through his chest with panic. Her hands thread delicately through his hair as she swallows back a sob. “Don’t leave me, Frankie,” Luciana finally manages, her voice unrecognizably broken and desperate as her eyes finally fall closed. A cry breaks through, and Frankie feels his entire body practically go numb with heartbreak as he pulls her to him again. She hides her face in his chest as he coos sweet nothings into her ear, stroking her hair and willing himself not to have a similar reaction as he works to comfort her.

“Shh,” Frankie mumbles, lips brushing against the shell of her ear as he continues to comfort her. “It’ll be alright, Luci. Take a deep breath.” Frankie feels her chest rise and fall against his own, and he smiles slightly at her effort as he presses a kiss into her hair. “There you go, baby. Just relax. I’m here.” Frankie only relaxes himself once he feels Luciana do the same, and when he’s certain that she’s calmed back down, he pulls her away to rest his forehead against hers again. His thumb strokes over her cheek as he goes on. “I know it’s gonna be hard, Luci, but we can do this. Alright? Think about it. We’ve waited a long fuckin’ time just to get to this point. We can do it again.”

Frankie earns a small smile and giggle from Luciana at that, and he smiles wider himself as he presses a gentle kiss upon her lips. When they break apart, Luciana nods, placing her hand over the one Frankie still has on her cheek. “I know. I just…” she pauses, gripping his hand tight as she looks longingly into his eyes, “... I love you so much, Frankie. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.”

“You won’t be without me.” Frankie says the reassurance softly yet with confidence. “You’ll have these memories and the reassurance that I’ll be coming back to you later to finish this life and love of ours. And I wouldn’t be opposed to going old-school and getting some letters.”

Luciana chuckles. “I can write letters. I’ll address them to Flyboy.”

Frankie laughs, brushing his free hand through her hair as he keeps her close. “Perfect.” He then presses a kiss to her forehead. “Just like you.”

Luciana scoffs playfully and rolls her eyes. “How charming.” She presses another kiss to his lips. “By the way… I like it when you use ‘baby girl.’ Keep that habit up.”

Frankie smiles at her. “Noted.” He then invites her to relax into him again, leaving a kiss on her head once she’s nestled her head back into his neck. “Now rest, baby girl. Can’t let anybody know that we weren’t sleeping during these hours.”

Luciana giggles against the skin of his neck. “I’ve never had someone tire me out like this after just one round, Morales. Add that to your confidence checklist.” She presses a kiss to his neck when she hears him laugh in response. “Goodnight, babe. I love you.”

Frankie can’t help smiling yet again upon hearing the words, and he pulls her as close as possible as he closes his eyes in contentment. “I love you, too.”

In this moment, Frankie doesn’t give a damn who knows anymore. He would shout it to the whole world if he could. All he knows is that he’s found his other half in the woman who’s curled up into his side, and even though he’d tried to reassure her that everything would be okay, he knows his heart’s going to be ripped in half the moment he has to leave her.

next part: chapter 8: hail

thunder tag list: @youhavereachedtheendofpie @charmantbarnes @theindiealto @fangirl-and-stuff @phoenixhalliwell @maybege @housekenobi @seawhisperer @mrsparknuts @saltywintersoldat @softpedropascal @i-hide-inside-my-head @sunshinepascal @domino-oh-damn @thirsty-flygirl

permanent tag list: @mikahid @bestintheparsec @stilllivindue2spite @givemethatgold @xbrujita @mandalorianspace @blushingwueen @sevvysaurus @myakai13 @thisis-theway @beskars @rachelloveseveryone @theindiealto @hiscyarika @burningsoulbloodyheart @wickedfrsgrl @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @bookwafflefangirl @charliepeaceout @cable-kenobi @ezraslittleblondestreak @hdlynn @your-pixels-are-showing @b0n-chann

#oh my word #oh my wordddd!#babies!#my heart aches for them but also?#aw?#frankie morales #catfish morales #frankie morales fic #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #thunder fic #dindjarindiaries

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aragima · 4 years ago

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hannibal questions! 🍖🔪

@nietzscheantrout @horrorlesbians and @hanniba1 wanted me to answer these hannibal questions and i wrote too much but oh well! thanks to all 3 of you ilu!!!

favorite episode and why: oh we’re just goin straight to the hard questions huh um OKAY so i think i can only do an ep a season - s1: SORBET SUPREMACY! you get to see the exact moment will looks at hannibal and thinks “.........shit. it’s him isn’t it. he’s The One. SHIT.” and that is so important to me - s2: this one is really hard maybe naka-choko? it’s so fucking gay and sexy. but tome-wan... but mizumono............ yeah idk - s3: torn between digestivo and the wrath of the lamb cuz they both hurt SOOO good much; i love will breaking up with hannibal and hannibal manipulating the situation so will can’t leave asldkjansk it’s so toxic we have to stan..... and for twotl i mean do i really have to give a reason every scene LIVES in my mind and it contains my favorite shot in the whole show:

that is LOVE baby! that is DESIRE! that is being ENTHRALLED!!!!

least favorite episode and why: i feel like they’re all so necessary that it’s kind of impossible to say but probably antipasto. i get sick of hannibal and bedelia’s shenanigans really quickly and as much as i hate to admit it... i miss will. i also think it was an extremely weak season opener and i blame it for getting the show canceled sjshshsgsg the resentment...

favorite side character: chiyoh or jimmy or actually wait— RANDALL TIER 🖤

if you could bring back one character who died, who would it be?: RANDALL FUCKING TIER. i want there to be a weird thing with him and hannibal and will going on. but also i love what his death did for will so idfk, other than him it’s gotta be beverly

dish prepared in the show that you would like to try eating/making: i was supposed to make hannibal’s osso bucco recipe like 3 weeks ago but it completely slipped my mind so i guess i’ll get on that my next grocery trip

which side character would you kill off?: chilton just because for god’s sake just let the man DIE ALREADY poor guy <- i’m taking ava’s answer because YEAH

was there any scene that you didn’t like to look at?: nah. the skin ripping scenes at the beginning of either kaiseki or sakizuki (idk i don’t remember, i hardly watch s2a) are particularly brutal but i tough it out

biggest ship: i mean do i even have to say

why did you start watching hannibal?: my wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, and her dad were watching it as it was airing and i was like “oh cool hannibal lecter origin story” but due to inconsistent access to the episodes i would just watch it randomly and that is... not the way to watch hannibal. i gave up around the end of s2 but knew hannigram was It regardless. i decided to watch s3 for the first time earlier this year just to have finished it and was like HOLD UP and did an immediate rewatch that left me... well, how i am now

favorite hannibal fic if you’ve read any?:

oh boy. yall ready for this? all of these can be found on ao3 obviously (i’m so sorry this is so long but i guess i’ve been asked to put together a fic rec anyway)

as soft, as wide as air by blackknightsatellite, the ladders series by emungere, blackbird by emungere, consenting to dream series by emungere, taken for rubies by emungere, at first meeting by emungere, protect me from what i want by @alienfuckeronmain, god of the cold, cold wars by highermagic, the abyss smiled back by highermagic, pomegranate seeds by highermagic, absolute zero by highermagic, in the truly gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini, TKO by sidnihoudini, oh dear by lunarwench, each according to its kind by chapparral_crown, a flood in our hearts by nanoochka, let me sinful be by darlingred, uncomplicated by stratumgermanitivum & youaremydesign, good bones by @damnslippyplanet, like they do in babylon by @damnslippyplanet, your obedient servant by kareliasweet, past our satellites by shotgunsinlace, only the tender meat by isagel, the shape of me will always be you by missdisoriental, a white-walled room by rodabonor, spleen et idéal by rodabonor, the paper doll series by rodabonor, a common point of interest by rodabonor [i do NOT like a/b/o stuff but if i did... it’s this fic], just thought you should know by earthsickwithoutyou, the sacrificial lamb by princesskay, transcendent suffering by itsbeautiful, not something polite by moistdrippings, leave your message after the tone by onewhositswithturtles, holes in the floor of the mind by feverdreamblood, crossing caina by feverdreamblood, the archipelago series by melusine10, but seas between us braid hae roar’d by kareliasweet

have you watched any of the hannibal films?: yeah all of them except manhunter! i grew up watching silence of the lambs because my mom loved it and i went thru a big edward norton phase as a teen so i’ve seen red dragon like 10 times

have you read the thomas harris books?: no and i’m not going to lmao #fakefan

favorite murder tableau: if we’re talking just hannibal’s- the judge. if we’re talking Murder Bad But Kinda Pretty like in general probably the mushroom people or the totem

favorite blood spill: will imagining hannibal while he beats randall to death or The Gutting of Will Graham

what’re some of your headcanons?: - will is good at shibari (backed up in canon: his fishing knots, the firefly man’s full body hishi karada harness) - hannibal rarely listens to modern, non-classical music but he’s a björk fan and he saw one of her chapel performances during the vespertine era and was Moved - will listens to classic rock (zeppelin, the doors, pink floyd) with some classic country (patsy, merle, johnny) and blues (billie, muddy, bessie) thrown in. he’s also a sucker for early/mid-90s college rock/alternative/grunge - will plays the piano (because of the piano in his living room) and the harmonica (because he’s country white trash); he’s kind of shit tho - hannibal fell for will somewhere between “my thoughts are often not tasty” and “you won’t like me when i’m psychoanalyzed” (love at first sight! at last sight! at ever and ever sight!!!) - will’s circumcised, hannibal isn’t 🤪 - hannibal’s a gemini!!!! adaptable, creative, intelligent, outgoing, impulsive, etc - will’s an aquarius!!!!! analytical, a loner, temperamental, unique, compassionate, etc - will’s mom was jewish go read my fic about it https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774326 - hannibal is an agender man (tbh i think of this as canon, it’s just unstated/undefined) - hannibal can speak russian, spanish, and a teensy bit of portuguese in addition to the other languages we know he speaks (lithuanian, english, french, italian, japanese) - will speaks limited amounts of french; he learned it as a kid in louisiana - ED TW will sometimes has a Difficult relationship with food due to food instability by the way of poverty as a kid and goes through periods where it’s hard to keep himself fed, but hannibal is so good for him in that way because he keeps him from going hungry 😓 (yes this is me projecting but also it makes SENSE) - hannibal typically bottoms but THEY DEFINITELY ARE BOTH VERS and will never stops being surprised by how much he loves catching a dick. every time is like religious experience. okay? okay - they’re also both very kinky and switches but tbh.... will was made to Dom hannibal like that’s the reason he exists he could drag that old bitch around by a leash and hannibal would be in heaven HANNIBAL WOULD CALL HIM SIR - the first time they have sex hannibal comes like immediately but he isn’t embarrassed because he’s hannibal fucking lecter and hannibal lecter doesn’t get embarrassed - i have a hc for their favorite sex positions but i’m not gonna put that here because i don’t want yall calling me crazy any more than you probably already do but if you wanna know just DM me all i do is think about them fucking it’s a curse - okay no more dirty stuff abigail called hannibal “dad” on more than one occasion and it was half-joking but it also felt comfortable to her; she never thought to call will “dad” because he’s a weirdo and never knew her as much as he knew his idea of her - hannibal taught her to play piano at the cliff house - beverly is pansexual!!! - brian and jimmy kissed one time when they were drunk and they NEVER talk about it EVER - chiyoh is straight probably. i know, i know, everyone says she’s a lesbian and if she’s a lesbian to you that’s awesome! she’s a lesbian! but idk i just think she’s SO fucking straight and tbh i mourn bc that’s my wife. she could MAYBE be bicurious... - chiyoh is non-monogamous and doesn’t do serious relationships, she doesn’t like the idea of being tied to one person ever since she left the lecter castle - she helped hannibal and will escape after The Fall; she told hannibal she would continue to watch over him and i think she did, she got them a boat and got them the fuck out of there - MOLLY IS DOING SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT WILL. SHE’S SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT OF THAT WHEN SHE DID. she has a good, long talk with alana and finds out all the shit about him and hannibal that will never told her (and it was a lot), gets drunk and burns all his shit, and then washes her hands of the whole thing; moves to a different state, gets a girlfriend, and never thinks about will again

okay i’m capping it there or i’m never gonna stop!! i’m not tagging anyone cuz i think everyone has done this by now lmao but if you’re a mutual who hasn’t and you want to just do it and say i tagged you!! mwah!!!!

#blood #long post #hannigram fic rec #hc

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