#okay. got that out. I’m done
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Con: Wasn’t able to write despite desperately wanting to
Pro: Was able to recognise when I was starting to get frustrated and quit before I could spiral
#I mean. I pretty much expected this to happen going into it#yesterday I managed 400 words pretty easily so I thought maybe I could avoid it this time#nope#same old story#but I’m learning not to focus on it too much because I really. really cannot afford an episode right now#still…#what does it say about me really#that even something as simple as writing a small piece for myself#one I never intended to post anywhere#that I didn’t attempt to make perfect#would still cause this reaction in me#well. I knew this problem was never about posting or perfectionism or whatever#it’s a deeper issue or trauma or whatever latching onto an easy outlet#which is why even when I stepped away from writing I found other things to sob hysterically about#but despite all that. for fuck’s sake#this was the first time in a month I dared try to write something and I couldn’t even manage it#why does it always lead to this#I just wanted to gutpunch myself by writing something severely emotionally devastating#not be reminded that apparently I’m really not meant to be a writer#okay. got that out. I’m done#quest completed: wrote all that out without crying#hopefully that will get it out of my system enough that it doesn’t start circulating in my head when I try to fall asleep#now time to delete the doc close the app and never speak of my attempt again#(/halfjoking)
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THE STORM IS ABOUT TO RAGE!!
(for the lovely @nowfallc)
#hi hi very very sorry for taking a million years forgive meeeeee#please accept this humble offering. pulling it out of my trench coat like it’s contraband. I’ve got the goods.#I’ll do another btw. I’m already formulating MANY evil plans. my villainy WILL continue <3#hehehehehehe >:3#now! excuse me while I collapse into a pile of bones! because this one killed me fr! 🙏#also listen to the storm by machine girl NOW right NOW that’s what this is supposed to be based around so DO IT okay I COMMAND you! <3#there’s a vibe I was trying to match! I don’t know if I accomplished it! but this picture is DONE as FUCK!!#trigun#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun stampede#trigun fanart
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I see a pattern in my fav characters
Secondary character important but often overshadowed by their main cast friends, definitely not the writer’s favorite child with half a backstory flashed out enough to make them interesting but vague enough i can take my own spin on it without feeling out of place
Bonus point if they constantly switch between sweet and unhinged
#bearz rambling tag#here’s me listing all my blorbos#ahum#let’s see *pulls out a large sheet*#DCA of course you know me#Mikey(2018 specific)#definitely not the writer’s fav child definitely him#There’s like half an episode that’s about him#everyone else got so many#Ink#half a back story unhinged mf beloved#Fidds ofc#Courtney too#cour has a very solid story and character growth#they’re just never the main focus#who else#loop?#it checks out#okay I’m done rambling ignore me trying to get it out of my system
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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h-how do you ever finish any of your work? genuine question because you seem to be productive despite your agreste syndrome and I need to learn your ways. but also how do you ever finish any of your work
unclear. last night i stayed up and finished a report worth 25% of my grade at about 5am, arrived on time for my 9am lecture, and spent about half of it zoned out while thinking about seventeen year old emilie agreste. and i was one of the most active participants in the class discussion
#in some ways it IS the move to go to grad school right out of undergrad#because your body can still sort of operate like a college kid#i’m on about 3ish hours of sleep rn and this morning it felt SO over but now i’ve eaten something and we’re so back#i also don’t really do caffeine. except sometimes i’ll go get one of those panera death lemonades#i might be able to snag a short nap before work#but anyway about seventeen year old emilie. i was thinking abt how she was in that movie solitude and adrien said she was seventeen#WAIT. NO. HE SAID SHE WAS SEVENTEEN IN THAT PHOTO ON HIS DESKTOP NOT IN THE MOVIE#well. okay whatever i’m gonna tell you what i was thinking about anyway#OKAY i’m back i just checked the wikipedia page and then i watched the end of gorizilla. to make sure i’m not lying. because i’m normal.#anyway i was thinking about the solitude film and how it’s super rare and old and obscure and whatever. and how apparently#emilie wrote it herself and andre produced it#and i’m thinking about how gabe was discovered by audrey and that’s how he got his start in the fashion industry#so now i’m like?? did gabe and emilie first meet on the set of solitude? because gabe was designing costumes or whatever?#and that’s how audrey found him? have people already thought about this??#also i just checked and it doesn’t say emilie’s last name in the credits and also it’s ‘graham films’ with the twin rings logo m#so i’m assuming she’s still emilie graham de vanily at that point#anyway it comes back to seventeen year old emilie because i started imagining seventeen year old runaway emilie having her new life in pari#after escaping her british nobility life#and the first thing she does is write and star in an original movie. of course.#and she meets this repressed bisexual punk upstart costume designer who is so the opposite of everyone she’s ever known#and he’s immediately so unhealthily obsessed with her. which she appreciates.#and then they proceed to have the most toxic doomed evil relationship of all time#also she gets cheated because once gabe gets money he represses himself SO hard that he is now exactly like all the people emilie grew up w#but at least he’s still obsessed with her#this is what i was thinking about during class today. i don’t know how i get anything done either.#ml#anna rambles#asks
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“Sing, let your heart soar! Sing forever!
Sad and so happy! Feelings flow over
Now our world is full of all kinds of colors
Closing my eyes, I still can see the stars…”
Overmorrow -FIN-
[start from the beginning]
[link for better image quality]
[link to fun supplementary info for the fic]
[buy me a ko-fi 🍓]
#khux#ephemer#overmorrow#my fics#my art#no joke#I bawled like 7 times drawing this#overmorrow is such a special project to me and I’m so sad the main part is finished#it’s been such a wonderful journey…I’ll have more to say in another post bc I genuinely have been touched by it#btw even if you haven’t read overmorrow I do hope you can enjoy this piece anyway; it was a lot of work but I really like how it turned out#khux kids my beloveds 😭💗#shifting gears now to talk about THE SONG!!!!!!#I found it by accident and got completely destroyed upon realizing how PERFECT it is for eph#every single word is like an uppercut punch to my gut#it’s overmorrow’s theme song. it’s overmorrow in 8 minutes#8 entire minutes of pure blorbo madness. /8 whole perfect minutes./ the universe was so kind to me#okay that’s it I’m done here <3#my posts#dandy kids#timeless child#overmorrow tfs
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gooooooooood MORNING !! happy wednesday friendz ! we made it to hump day yipeeee !! have the bestest day, i’m cheering on all of youuu ! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
#incoming yap alert#oooooo i’m so excited bc tonight im starting a new pathfinder campaign and my character is so cool >:3#a lil badass gunslinger who seeks revenge on the man that wronged her !!#my sniper queen <3#alsooo yesterday i got so much work done on the event !!!#lowkey v proud of myself bc i am NOT good with writing deadlines but i really want everything done for friday !!!#just gotta edit the blurbs and make the moodboards and match ups look pretty#v exciting stuff :’)#okay i must go bc it’s a very busy day so i will return later !!#i promise to answers my asks and catch up on my tags soon :( life has just been a lil crazy !!!#sending out sm love !!!#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#🗣️ the daily yap .#<- one day i will update this tag … one day …
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me after attempting to get back into sims and realizing i had a lot more to do than play the game
#hi everyone#I’m going around hugging you all#okay now that we are gathered here today#i will simply acknowledge that i have been gone for a very long time and then also acknowledge that maybe it was for the best#i relied on sims to be my only creative activity even if i tried to write a book at the same time#and also. i prioritized sims over real life responsibilities. that’s just a deadly combination lol#but I recently noticed I just replaced sims with Netflix. with YouTube. with anything that gave me quick dopamine#literally became addicted in a sense. still am but I’ve been cut cold turkey from most everything#I get off work and go. okay I’ve done the dishes and the laundry……..I could read or write or bake….#I try to write and sometimes i get a good hour#then I read for a few hours and then get tired of it#and I made cookies Tuesday so I’m waiting for those to be gone before baking again#I’m just so pitiful that I feel BORED and don’t know what to do#so I said….. okay what if I do sims for an hour.#I downloaded some new cc Tuesday and tried to play yesterday#y’all ……………….. I can’t find the energy anymore to set up elaborate scenes and pose my sims and plan posts#I said wow… this is boring without my intervention and fake story#I said wow…….. all this for what? for tumblr? yes I created cool things and provided joy. but is that inherintly important compared to my#own joy? my own everyday activities I should be doing?#y’all I do not leave the house unless we got out to eat or shop or travel to our parents#.. I have little desire to. I’m trying to find that desire#but my husband is busy with grad school and work and I don’t want to do anything by myself#I’ve found myself in one heck of a slump#I didn’t want to be human for awhile. just had no desires no interests no ambitions#I was slacking off SO HARD at work. I just had no drive to do well#I’m still working on it. I’m still trying to get caught up. I’m still trying to force myself to move every day.#but I am struggling y’all. and I can tell you that sims… sims isn’t helping rn but I want it to so bad. I want to get back into it#I didn’t mean to disappear on everyone. I got married and then life got busy and then I fell into this hole of nothing#I didn’t even WANT to crawl my way out. but my husband has helped a lot. I feel like such a child!!!!#I reached max tags. 🙃 bye love you all. till next time
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I’m actually so upset over the grimmons resolution I’m tempted to start a YouTube channel and make a whole video breakdown of their fucking queerbait
#I’m saying this as someone who didn’t start shipping them until THIS YEAR#They’ve always kinda just been in the background to me until I was doing my rewatch and was like#hey wait#add onto their little series where they go over YouTube comment#and they literally call out their own ship name and grif has that moment where he clearly values Simmons and their time together#and then in restoration you have that ‘come with me’ moment#which was amazing I loved it#but for what??#grif clearly only helped Simmons fight the meta because that’s what Simmons wanted to do#grif did not give a shit about what sarge would’ve done#but because Simmons was staying behind to fight he did to#HELLO?#this is never said explicitly but is clearly the case#the meta throwing grif onto Simmons okay#come on now#and just for what?#I understand and in part agree with what people are saying about how they both got what they wanted from the beginning#grif always wanted to leave#Simmons always wanted to be a leader#sure I get that. but sometimes…character development exists#and one or both of them can realize that their desires change or aren’t right for them#idk maybe I’m just coping but god damn#rvb#rvb restoration#rvb19#grimmons#rvb grif#rvb simmons#red vs blue
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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GOOD MORNING HAPPY FRIDAY!!! We made it to the weekend I’m so proud of us!!! I hope you all have an amazing day 💕💕💕
#nina rambles~✦#I woke up late#WHOOPS#it’s okay it’s okay#I got an outline for the killer request done so I just have to actually ya know write it out#I also listened to Chappell Roan in the car all the way to work#so I’m vibing#ANYWAYS have a good day yall#muah muah
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Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!
Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3
(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)
Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:
#and yeah I did say I’d do a fuckass background but all my energy went to figuring out Suiren’s design#plus I suck at backgrounds so.. woe. LoK screenshot be upon ye#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#avatar suiren au#original character#sotrl suiren#vaatu#I don’t really know what to say in these tags lmao#usually I reach the tag limit really really easily but between my previous post and answering that ask I’ve ran out of things to say#someone please indulge me in this au I have Way Too Many Thoughts about it#hmm…#you know. I think people often make different avatar aus because they dislike Korra or think she’s a bad avatar#I don’t. I love Korra. I would kill and die for her#(says the red lotus stan. yes I’m well aware. no need to call me out)#and I think she’s a good avatar who was dealt a shitty hand both in universe and by the show’s production team#I’m making this au BECAUSE I love Korra. if Suiren is the avatar Korra gets to be a normal SWT girl#she’ll get to grow up with her parents. not isolated and degraded all the time for not being perfect. maybe she’d have a sibling or two#and Suiren gets spared her sotrl trauma too. win win for everyone!!#(I return Suiren gets the weight of the world on her shoulders lmao. but it’s fine. 1. she isn’t alone in it. she has her family#2. three quarters of the LoK threats are basically automatically eliminated for her. the RL are her parents. she fuses with Vaatu#and all she has to do to defeat Kuvira is to take her dress off 😁 /hj. basically. she’ll be okay. better than in sotrl at least)#also look. I love Suiren. she’s my dear child who’s been with me since I was 12. of course I wanna make her the main character in everything#and dark avatar Korra AUs have been done countless times before me. Kat’s doing one right now!! I just wanna do something that’s my own#and also I wanna focus less on pain and trauma for once and more on the sheer hilarity of the shenanigans that will occur post-fusion#cause this isn’t Adumbration where Korra lets Raava go and fuses with Vaatu instead. here Suiren’s got both of them at the same time#and they have 10000 years’ worth of grievances to air out. it’s like living with your divorced parents#trust me I would know. except mine aren’t divorced. they’re Worse and everyone wishes they’d just separate#anyway. that aside. Suiren’s not getting any sleep any time soon while those two duke it out
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Uhhhh pt. 3 (??) of making gifts for my fav tumblrs cuz why not 💪🐺
@mango-mya (sorry if you’re uncomfortable with being @‘d)
I would’ve done it digitally but The alpha just couldn’t 🐺 (I got lazy)
#uhhh#wonder over yonder#woy oc (not mine tho‼️)#oc (not mine‼️)#uhh Disney?? erm technically 🤓-#Disney#Disney oc (not mine once again‼️)#I LOVE HER DESIGN SHES SO PRETTY#AND SO SUPER DUPER SIGMA#uhhh yea idk wtf to tag this 😭😭#I’ve been meaning to draw her but I never got around to it 😭😭#I need to go to bed (it’s only 10pm but still)#I’m bout to go mimimimi up in this bitch Istg imma pass out#okay I’m done yapping enjoy young skibidis 🐺‼️🏳️🌈#wonder over yonder art#okay I’m done fr‼️#🖇other ppls amazing ocs cuz this is literally amazing what 🍬#please notice me (im desperate)
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When you put on one of your few nice shirts for company but then step outside and feel like you’re going to go insane because the bushes that were supposed to be done months ago still aren’t trimmed so you go to town with the clippers for an hour on a bunch of hedges. In the mud. In your nice, new, white shirt.
#ghost posts#i wish I had changed but I was compelled#i like things to be tidy#and the bushes were growing up the wall#and over the pipes#I’m splattered with dirt I look like I crawled out of said bushes#the bushes would prob have been done earlier#but I’m not really supposed to do yard work anymore#since I got hurt. even though I like yard work#i can do the trimming part okay it’s the bagging leaves part that gives me more trouble#and I would leave them but my mom hates the leaves so supposed to clean them all up
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Poetry notebooks: made
First week checklists: ready
Books: present and accounted for
Shelves: mostly organized
(Kronk voice) It’s all coming together.
#my life#my homeschooling tag#this year I’ve got a fifth grader; fourth grader; second grader; first grader; preschooler; and a toddler along for the ride#there is actually so much I have left to do#but most of it involves more supplies and I’m out of cash#my supplies spending has to be carefully controlled because office supplies are like catnip for me#well okay there’s still things to change with the poetry notebooks but they’re functional and can be edited easily as we go#we start on Monday#which is crazy early but we want to be done early in the spring because gardening
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Now who is responsible for this 😭 please
#I mean not the first time I’ve spotted typos#but you forgot a whole word bro bro#and wsd 😒 cmon#anyway I’m not here to complain (it will be happening again)#tears of themis#artem wing#to whoever actually reads my tags (first of all ily) I’ll tell you a secret#artem was my favorite since BEFORE I started playing this game#his confused eyes really got me#but I actually started to like him less after reading his cards#now HOLD YOUR FIRE#it was not his personality#it was just the way… nothing exciting ever happened#and I know his whole thing is being super romantic I GET THAT and I loved that#but I fear it became too corny for me I’m sorry#like I remember his 2nd birthday event I think there was a PUDDLE OF WATER which he threw his jacket over#and then he and Rosa blushed 💀💀#guys please step around. I appreciate the sentiment but it is truly never that serious#okay I’m done#hope someone out there actually read allat#whoever you are… thank you…#whoever writes artem’s cards give him to me. I’ll have this bih everyone’s favorite in 40 minutes tops
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