#okay now time for me to answer some asks instead of ranting about ethics

[reorientation]

I lurk here every once in a while; I've enjoyed it and you seem relatively sane, but your post about Elliot Page is super fucked up. Not in a kinky way, just in a morally wrong way. Your subtitle is "play for consenting adults" but now you're involving real people that never consented. Honestly just disappointed.

(Referencing this post.)

I don't make a habit of replying to accusatory anons, but I'm going to take this one as an opportunity to make a couple of worthwhile points: (1) ethics is about your effect on other people, and (2) there's nothing special about the relationship between consent and sexuality.

To the first point: Elliot Page is a movie star. He has a separate Wikipedia page just for the awards he's won. He was on the cover of Time. He's never going to read, hear about, or be affected in any way by my hundred-notes Tumblr post.

If you want to argue that it's wrong to talk about him in the context of a misgendering post, you have to claim that there are ways to be immoral without hurting anyone, or that he's hurt by it in some immaterial way that doesn't actually involve him.

Which brings me to my second point.

To get someone's consent for something is to confirm that they want it to happen. We're most careful about this when it matters a lot whether they want something.

The reason we talk about consent so much in the context of sex and kink is that those are areas where, if you do something to someone that they don't want, it can really fuck them up! If you put your penis into someone, they might have a great time or they might be deeply traumatized; if you slap your partner hard across the face, they might beam up at you afterwards or have their trust in you shattered forever. It's really important to know whether they want it!

And sex is certainly not the only area of life where this applies: if you're going to be performing surgery on someone, giving them psychedelics, or beating them up in a dojo, you'd better be damn sure it's what they want.

This sounds very obvious when put like that, but many people have gotten used to discussing consent on the abstract, legalistic level of "what counts as allowable permission" and not the concrete, interpersonal level of "how do I know I'm not harming them".

Equally obvious: in most areas of life, we're not that concerned about everybody only getting what they want, because the potential for harm is not very high. If you've got a whole bunch of piercings, you might freak some people out a little as you walk down the street, but it's fine - they'll get over it.

But because we (rightfully!) talk about consent so much when talking about sex - and, frankly, because many people don't ever really examine the puritanical aspects of our culture - people get the idea that sexuality is a unique domain where absolutely everything is forbidden unless explicitly allowed, rather than an area where you can often hurt people very badly if you're not careful.

And that leads, immediately, to absurdities. No one would say that it's a consent violation if you wear a shirt that says "Hail Satan" on the bus, even though a lot of people wouldn't be happy to see that - but it's quite common to hear that about someone wearing a collar in public, even if it's subtle enough that no one ever notices.

Which brings us all the way back around to the beginning - no one thinks it's not okay to make posts about celebrities that they wouldn't like if they read them. It wouldn't be a consent violation if I wrote a post brutally criticizing Elliot Page's acting skills without getting his permission to do so. And it isn't a consent violation to talk about him in a kink post either. No, not even if it's a gross one.

[pale-opal]

I’m so sorry to spam epic x Mmx Stuff But again if you think about Anither song (So many songs I swear) It’s that…Just a Man Fits him so well…

Okay i vanish 💥

There's no need to apologize! I don't think you're spamming at all! And I took a look at the lyrics, and I completely agree! There's so much to say about these lines alone:

"Will these actions haunt my days? Every man I've slain Is the price I pay, endless pain Close your eyes And spare yourself the view How could I hurt you?"

X was not built for fighting. He was meant to bring peace, and he spent the first thirty years of his stasis undergoing ethics testing to ensure that. But at the same time, he also knows he can't sit by and do nothing whenever someone threatens the innocent or someone he cares about. He has to fight. And sometimes, he has to kill. But having to do something doesn't necessarily mean you like it.

Not only that, but "Close your eyes/And spare yourself the view" could be him talking to a younger Hunter he has to mentor - or heck, let's just be blunt and say Axl. He didn't want Axl to become a Hunter at the end of X7 because he didn't want him to have to do the same things he and Zero did. He didn't want him to have to kill to find his place in the world. He already had to take out Red and his former friends to be allowed to exist as himself - X was probably trying to spare him from anymore trauma (I know that his dialogue in X7 implies something more cynical, specifically that he was against the idea of Axl fighting anymore completely, and that X himself only came back to the Hunters out of obligation, but if I go too far into that I'll end up going on a rant).

"How could I hurt you?" Might fit a scenario where he has to fight someone who was innocent before being infected with the Maverick Virus, or the fight he has with Zero towards the end of X5 (specifically in the route where Zero's gone maverick). X knows that the person he has to harm doesn't truly want this. But he has no choice but to hurt them - if he doesn't, then they could attack other innocent people. And nobody wants that.

"I'm just a man Who's fighting for his life"

This part really shows off one of the more simple reasons for why X does what he does: self-defense. X may not like fighting, but he isn't the type lie there and get killed by some random dude in the name of being a pacifist. He has dreams and ambitions just like everybody else. And he can't achieve any of them if he's dead. Not only that, but if he dies, who will protect his loved ones? Sure, they can fight for themselves. But part of X's logic behind Elysium + the original vision for Neo-Arcadia was to create a world where they wouldn't have to. Why would he let those close to him risk their lives to protect themselves when he could make it so that they wouldn't have to by fighting to live another day?

"But when does a comet become a meteor? When does a candle become a blaze? When does a man become a monster?

When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster?"

That last question is probably one X would ask himself a lot. He'd definitely wonder about if or when he crosses the line whenever he has to deal with a maverick. And maybe one day, he determines that the answer is "Yes. I've gone too far." Or maybe he even thinks "I'm just as bad as my enemies are." What if that was the reason he temporarily quit the Hunters? Or perhaps questioning himself so much + having to do something he hated for so long tired him out. Or it could have been a mix of all of that (instead of him seemingly waking up one day and deciding to call it quits, leaving his homies and some random child his bestie found in the street one day to pick up the slack).

"Forgive me" is definitely a line X would use. Guilt would absolutely be something he struggled with as a Hunter, and even more so as a cyber elf. His efforts to protect everyone failed, and now he can't do anything for them directly. All he can do is advise others and hope that Zero, one of the people he was fighting for, can do what he can't. That would be a lot of burden for anyone to carry. Combine that with how he had to watch countless others die in the time leading up to this, many of which were no doubt people he knew personally, and that burden would only double. How he manages to deal with it is anyone's guess. He might have gotten used to it, after a while.

Also, if you don't mind me talking about your Legends Reborn/To be Legendary AU: I think this song fits your version of X almost perfectly. It could totally be seen as his rationale for why he doesn't want to risk Volnutt following in his footsteps by becoming a digger. Take the very first verse for instance:

"I look into your eyes and I Think back to the son of mine You're as old as he was When I left for war"

Replace "son" with anybody X left behind to become the leader of Neo Arcadia or to fight in the Elf Wars (Axl might work here again - he was around Volnutt's age when he became a Hunter...), and then everything comes together. Volnutt is innocent, just like the people X wanted to keep safe. He's a kid with his whole life ahead of him. Why should he put his future in danger when he could do something that wouldn't require him to put his life on the line? And besides - X knows all too well where a working a job based in violence would lead. But since when has destiny cared about the feelings of a parent?

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Shinso and Toga as a team headcanons:

( Based on this post )

I think I said this before in one of my oldest bnha / mha posts but I really love to think about Toga and Shinso and the things they have in common.

For once, they know what is like having a "villainous" quirk and being bullied by that.

With Toga, she had to pretend she was okay and normal when in fact she was suffering, struggling with the nature of her quirk.

With Shinso, he had to pretend he was okay and it didn't bothered, to have people pointing out that he would make a good villain.

More than thinking about them in terms of villains or heroes, because we'd be only reinforcing the dichotomy, we'll just talk about their possible dynamics in neutral scenarios.

Let's go:

First of all, they both have what I call "support quirks". This means their quirks are not enough on their own in a battle, they only support the users or give them extra abilities.

For example, Eraserhead has a support quirk. His strength, his speed, his agility, all those things are from his mundane side, his quirkless side. He can only erase a person's quirk, but he needs to defeat people with his normal abilities. In the end, his quirk gives him a plus, it supports him, but it's not the core of his fighting strength.

Even without using his quirk, Aizawa is as fast, strong and badass as always.

The same happens with Toga and Shinso. They can't rely on their quirks alone like Bakugo or Todoroki could, for example. They can't release huge blasts or protect themselves with their quirks alone.

That's why for me Toga is one of the most badass characters in bnha / mha. Her existence alone is a contradiction to the idea that a person can't be a hero without a quirk. Why? Because Toga doesn't need her quirk at all to be lethal.

She can dissappear her presence by practice alone, she's deadly fast and has a mad knife game but only because she learned to be. Her quirk has nothing to do with any of this.

Add her quirk and she's terrifying. And she's only 16-17 years old.

Now now, Shinso lacks the practice Toga has had because she was forced into a learning after her middle school incident. She needed to work fast in order to survive. Shinso hasn't had that yet.

But once he learns, oh boy, we're talking about a man that will be able to brainwash several people at the same time and use them as he needs to.

The problem with their abilities is that they rely on the surprise factor, Shinso more than Toga.

Ha, kidding. Of course there are other methods. Let's take a look at them.

First of all, have you tried to shut your mouth for a longer period of time under a lot of stress or in the middle of a battle? no?

Even if you know how Shinso's quirk works, he can pressure you into talking to him. They only thing he needs is to be patience and have some support.

The bands he use are perfect for him to keep the movement, preventing the enemy from catching him. And the idea of him adopting the voice of another person is brilliant. He can keep on running away and hiding while pressuring the enemy with the voice of someone they love. Ufff.

That's where Toga fits in.

Toga is small and fast, she works perfectly with two knives in each hand. This is the type of girl that'd cut the back of your legs to make you kneel, the type that you can't quiet hit or trap.

And she can shapeshift into other people with their blood.

So imagine you're in a battle against Shinso and you hear the voice of someone on your team calling for you. You don't answer, right? But then you see the person and you're like!!! It's not Shinso!!! It's them!!

And you let them get near and...

She stabs you. Because it's a she. And you scream as she shifts back to her normal form. It's Toga Himiko, my dudes.

Or imagine you're going against Toga and you answer to one of your team mates and you get brainwashed immediately, courtesy of mister Shinso Hitoshi.

The best part is that they can help each other with their archives of voices and blood. Together, they can shapeshift into anyone and sound and act like them, a perfect trap for you to fall into their brainwashing.

This is the type of people that would be dangerous against political figures, because they can take your form and talk like you and take advantage from that.

This is the type of people that can't take down a bunch of villains together if they take the correct form.

For example, Toga Shapeshifting into Redestro and she simulates to talk, but it's Shinso using his voice. So they could, i theory, brainwash the people closer to Redestro in a minute.

And they can get any information they want. They can access a lot of places. They can infiltrate anywhere.

Deku fell into Toga's trick. So did Aizawa.

Those two are extremely observant and smart. That's the magnitude of Toga's skill.

And Deku won against Shinso only thanks to the vestiges. If he learns Aizawa's fighting style.... I'm looking respectfully to all that power.

But my favorite part is not how deadly they would be, but how good is their dynamic.

Toga is a ball of excitement and Shinso is tired of the entire world. However, Shinso is such as dumb and Toga is such as angry. They both are stubborn, they both know exactly what they want and they would do anything to achieve it.

Contrary to what you'd think, Toga doesn't like a moral code. The reason why she's fighting on the League's side is because she doesn't understand the morals and the ethics of the hero society.

That's exactly why Shinso fought so hard in the sport festival. He wanted to prove the system was wrong about him, about his quirk being weak or useless.

They just need someone to understand them and work with them. They need to find their own way for making things work out.

I think the big problem with their quirks is the fact that they're violating people's wills or they are taking something from somebody without asking.

I mean, their quirks are something that affects directly the other instead of affecting directly only they user of the quirk.

For example, with Todoroki he's the one catching fire or going cold. The quirk happens in the body of the user and allows them to fight with their own abilities.

With Shinso and Toga, they need to take something from someone to use their quirks. That's why they're viewed as villain quirks.

Personally, I think this is a big flaw from the hero comission because there should be some legislation about this. Different type of quirks should have different types of laws applying to them, you know?

How did I started talking about Shinso and Toga and ended up talking about how the justice in the hero society sucks, we'll never know.

We better cut it off here before I start ranting about something not related to the title of the post.

The end.

[atlabeth]

death by a thousand cuts - asami x fem!reader

i listened to this playlist while i wrote this in case you wanna feel my pain while you read this 

summary: in which you and asami fall out of love.

wc: 3.1k 

a/n: good god i am so sorry

warning(s): so much angst. breakups. falling out of love. crying. there is no happy ending 

based off of death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift | gif credit

breaking up with asami sato was the hardest thing y/n ever had to do.

she had never met anyone more.. perfect. 

her raven hair that she loved to tangle her hands in, the emerald green eyes that sparkled whenever she smiled, her infectious laughter that never failed to brighten y/n’s day. the confidence she carried herself with was extremely attractive, and it was one of the first things that caught y/n’s eye.

she never understood her long-winded rants about engineering or what was going on in the business world, but she would listen to her girlfriend read the phonebook if it meant she could hear her talk about something so passionately. the way that she put her full heart into everything she did, the way she loved so fully, it was impossible not to fall for her. 

asami was the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman that y/n had ever met in her life, and it tore her apart to have to let her go. if someone took a knife to her heart a thousand times then ripped it out of her body, it still wouldn’t hurt as much as losing asami. 

but that was the thing about falling out of love. it wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t asami’s fault. it just.. happened.

and it was terrifying.

at first it wasn’t obvious. they were both college students with full lives, so they knew things were going to be busy. y/n was doing an unpaid internship at her dream job in hopes that she would be able to work her way up the ladder, while working another part time to keep herself afloat. asami had always said if she had any money troubles she would be more than willing to help, but y/n preferred to be able to support herself. she never denied an opportunity for her girlfriend to spoil her though. asami was working with her family business and it took a lot of time up as well. combine that with their classes, it was a miracle that they had any free time at all. 

but they made time. any spare moment they had was spent together. they always made it back to the apartment at the end of the day, and they would stay up far later than they should’ve to make up for the time apart. whether it was cooking something together at 2am and making a mess of the kitchen or telling each other about their day or just laying together in bed in each other’s embrace while they fell asleep, they did it together. 

together, together, together. 

there was no better place to be. because when they were together, asami and y/n could face the world. 

people envied them. hardworking women that managed to do it all, high school sweethearts that had been madly in love for years ever since they met their junior year. they danced around the topic of marriage, never fully stepping onto it, but both knew that it was something they wanted. they both thought they were going to be together till the end, so they had plenty of time before they took the plunge. 

y/n didn’t know that asami looked at engagement rings in her spare time, trying to think of one that her girlfriend would love, something that would be able to express how badly asami wanted to spend the rest of her life with y/n. 

asami didn’t know that y/n had a folder of numbers for wedding planners, caterers, musicians, lists of people that would work at a wedding or a reception. the thought of proposing was on her mind constantly, and she wanted to be able to express how badly she wanted to spend the rest of her life with asami. 

but things started to change.

late nights got later, and they no longer ended every day at the apartment. asami had to start going on business trips — future industries was in trouble, and she had to do everything to keep it afloat. this business was her livelihood, her family’s life work, and she couldn’t let it go. y/n understood and was nothing but supportive at first — she knew who her girlfriend was, and she admired her work ethic. 

but the time apart did something to them. just like their love slipping away, it wasn’t noticeable at first. small. but it grew, and the cracks started to form in their perfect relationship. 

asami had been called away on another business trip, this time to the fire nation to try and negotiate some kind of deal between another company. it was taking much longer than expected, so calls like these had become a regular. they would usually start after y/n got home from work, and they would just.. be with each other. sometimes they talked for hours, sometimes they just sat and got their respective tasks done — it was easier when they knew that the other was there. 

y/n was in the worst mood today. she had spent the last ten minutes ranting about the horrible day she had at work, and how she didn’t earn nearly enough to pay for the classes that she took, and textbooks should not be this expensive, and unpaid internships were bullshit. asami was being the same helpful angel as always, but for some reason y/n couldn’t stand it today. 

“y/n, if you’re having money troubles, you know that i can help you. i want to help you, all you have to do is ask! you don’t have to work these insane hours and stress yourself out.”

“asami, how many times do i have to tell you that i don’t need it? how many times have i told you that i want to be able to forge my own path? i don’t- i don’t need you to baby me.” she regretted the words as soon as they left her lips. they had come out so much harsher than she meant and it was obvious by the moment of silence that it had hurt asami. they didn’t have many arguments, so when they did their jabs hit hard, even when they were the smallest of things. 

“i’m not trying to baby you, i’m trying to help my girlfriend so she doesn’t have to worry constantly about money! i mean, what’s the point of having a fortune if you can’t use it to help others? i love you, y/n, and i want to h-” 

“i don’t need your help, asami!” she didn’t mean to yell. she never liked yelling — the couple had always been able to work out their problems before with a level head and talking normally — but this just slipped out. the silence that followed after was deafening, and y/n let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “i— i’m sorry. i have to go.” 

y/n was about to hang up, but even during fights she didn’t leave without saying it. especially when her girlfriend was in another country, she couldn’t leave without saying it. “..i love you too, asami. goodnight.” 

that was the first sign that things were going downhill. they never had arguments over something as petty as this — y/n wasn’t jealous of asami in any way, she was proud, and her girlfriend succeeding made her happier than anything — but lately it felt like mishaps like this were happening more and more often. 

y/n passed it off as stress from the job — for some reason, asami offering to help just made her take even longer hours — but deep down, she knew. something was changing between her and her girlfriend, and she didn’t like it. 

the things that she used to find endearing were now annoying. she began to tune out asami’s rants about the business world, and her confidence started to come off as cockiness. she was snapping more and more often and found it scary how easily their conversations now irked her.

the same things were happening on asami’s side. she used to love y/n’s brazenness and how she said whatever came to mind, but now it just bothered her. the independence she once admired was getting to her as well — why couldn’t she just accept her help? asami had money, she was willing to help, but she was met with the same stubbornness every time. it was tiring. 

their calls that used to occur every night and last for hours became far and in between, replaced by goodnight texts and i love you’s. and even those ceased -- it wasn’t uncommon for them to go whole days without talking while asami was away. and the worst thing? it didn’t bother her. y/n used to not be able to go an hour without talking to her in some way, but now she was just.. okay with it. 

asami could feel y/n slipping through her fingers, but she couldn’t do anything about it. because she was slipping away as well. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

they couldn’t keep going like this.

both women were ignoring the problem. it was partially out of shock, but mostly out of fear. how could they have lost their love like that? the flame that they tended together, the wild, passionate flame that was their love, had gone out. what were they supposed to do? what could they do? 

asami was coming home today. y/n would normally pick her up and they would greet each other with the biggest hug and kiss, and then they would spend the entire ride home talking each other’s ears off. but not this time. this time, asami did it all herself. drove herself to and from the airport, taking the parking fees over y/n driving her. she was surprised at how much she enjoyed the silence on the ride home, but it gave her time to think. too much time to think about what was going on with her and her girlfriend. 

but she already knew the answer. 

asami fidgeted with the key into the apartment and pushed the door open, trailing a suitcase behind her as she walked into the empty room. “y/n?” she called, only being met with the echo of her own voice. “i’m home!”

her eyes drifted around and saw the door out to the balcony was open, y/n leaning against the railing. she looked absolutely beautiful in the moonlight, but the pang she felt in her heart was just sadness instead of happiness. and just like that, she knew she was going to have to bring it up. 

they couldn’t keep going like this. 

y/n turned around as she heard footsteps, her lips quirking upwards ever so slightly as she saw who it was. “hi,” she whispered. 

“hi.” asami returned the greeting and she came to rest on the balcony next to her. neither of them said anything for a long time, but somehow they both knew. the statement hung in the air. five simple words, five words that would end it all. five words that neither of them could say, but both of them knew had to be said. 

that was one thing about being together for this long — they knew each other better than anyone else, and they wouldn’t ever be able to forget. 

“how was your trip?” y/n asked, wanting to break the silence. anything was better than standing here waiting for the hammer to drop. anything to stop those words from being uttered. 

“it was alright,” asami murmured. “we secured the deal, so future industries is safe for now. i’ll probably be gone again on another business trip before you know it, though.” 

“i’m happy for you.” that wasn’t a lie, but the thing that scared her was how she felt nothing knowing that asami was going to be leaving again. she wasn’t sad, she wasn’t disappointed, she just felt nothing. and that was the biggest sign yet. 

both of them turned to look at each other at the same time, and y/n was almost taken aback by the pure melancholic expression asami wore. in that moment, she knew. she knew because that was the exact same expression she had when she looked in the mirror in the morning. 

y/n opened her mouth to say something, say anything, but before she knew what was happening asami’s lips were on hers. her eyes shut and she instinctively pulled asami closer, hands already tangling in her hair. it was too easy to get caught up in it all again, too easy to forget. because they both wanted to forget. 

y/n wanted nothing more than to stay like this. she knew it couldn’t stay like this, she knew that holding onto their broken love was unhealthy, but she just couldn’t let go. even though there was nothing behind the kiss, she just couldn’t let it go. it was the scent of asami’s perfume pervading her senses that caused her to pull away first. 

y/n pursed her lips, feeling the familiar sting behind her eyes. she smiled sadly and breathed out a laugh, shaking her head in an effort to avoid eye contact. it didn’t last long. “we can’t put it off any longer. this— us. it’s over, isn’t it?”

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” y/n didn’t know if she was apologizing for kissing her or for their lost love — for all she knew it could’ve been both. her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and as she stared into them all the memories of the last couple years came back. years of happiness, laughter, nights spent together and waking up next to each other. “i.. i don’t know how it happened. it felt like one day, everything was perfect, and the next, i just—“

“you don’t have to be sorry, asami.” y/n took asami’s hands in her own as she spoke softly, and spirits. their hands fit together so perfectly that it hurt. “i felt it too. i didn’t want to acknowledge it, but.. i knew. i’ve known since that first phone call.”

“how did this happen?” she rasped, rubbing circles on y/n’s hand with her thumb with a far off look in her eyes. “did we do something wrong? i- i thought you were the one. i know we’re young, but i can’t see myself with anyone else. in every future i‘ve imagined, you’ve been by my side.” 

spirits, that made things so much harder. that was exactly how y/n felt. asami sato had always been who she saw at the end of the tunnel, the one who she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. it was a rare feeling, the love they shared, and trying to cope with the fact that that love was gone was like trying to wake up from a walking nightmare. 

“i.. i don’t know.” it seemed like the only thing she did know was that the love of her life was gone. she didn’t know how it happened, she didn’t know why it happened, she only knew that she no longer had asami sato. y/n blinked back tears and had to let go of asami’s hands. it hurt too much, knowing that she would never get to hold her hands, hold her, in the same way they used to. it hurt too much knowing that the spark was gone. she rested her forearms on the balcony, the faint night breeze blowing all around her. 

“we’ll still be friends, right?” asami’s voice was faint as she came to stand against the balcony with y/n once more, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. “we spent the last seven years together. that- it doesn’t just go away now that we’re no longer…” she didn’t want to say the words. saying it meant that it was real, it meant that all of this was really happening. it meant that she was really losing the girl she thought she would get to call her wife one day. 

“i…” she bit the inside of her cheek. “i hope so. i sincerely hope so. but i’m going to need some time before we can be.. ‘just friends’ again.” y/n pressed one of her hands into the side of her head and shook her head. “i’ll- uh, i’ll move my things out this weekend. i have a friend i can crash with tonight and until i find an apartment.” 

“yeah, of course. of course— as much time as you need.” her voice cracked on the last word and asami swallowed hard. “if you need any money, you can ask-” 

“asami.” y/n hated how her name sounded on her lips now. it used to be so full of love, happiness, a reminder of every good thing in the world. now it just reminded her of what she no longer had. it felt empty. 

she wished she felt something. y/n knew it wasn’t fair to asami, but yelling and screaming at her would’ve made her feel better than this emptiness behind her heart. anything would be better than this nagging feeling in her chest. 

she stopped talking and they faced each other, so close but worlds apart. asami’s hands itched to reach for y/n’s again, and y/n wanted nothing more than to find herself in asami’s embrace again. before they knew it, they were both leaning in. 

their lips met again in one final kiss, one final plea to all the spirits that their love would suddenly come back. that the butterflies, the electricity, the almost overwhelming happiness would re-emerge; that this was all just a cruel misunderstanding and that they could go back to being together. but as y/n pulled away, she felt nothing. and she knew asami felt the same way.

a single tear trickled down y/n’s cheek as she stared in the eyes of her former love with a sadness that words couldn’t begin to describe.

“i’ll always love you, asami sato.”

“i’ll always love you, y/n y/l/n.”

the whispered declarations were more like goodbyes, and as y/n walked back into the house, wiping away rapidly falling tears, asami was doing the same as she gazed up at the moon. their thoughts mirrored each other’s. 

“why did it have to be us?”

[delusion-of-negation]

top 10 (ish) ridiculous or annoying FAQs:

(click at your own discretion)

1) "kids today rely on others to do everything"

ah yes, damn those participation trophies! if it wasn't for them my hands wouldn't be fucked, and I wouldn't need people to write for me. but seriously, stop reading boomer comics, and go outside to meet some actual young people.

2) "sus that a non-american says mom"

yeah, because it's clearly the superior version, and I'm not too patriotic to concede a defeat.

3) "sweaty, the victims of abuse by catholics are real people, stop appropriating their pain just because you want to hate catholics; plus teachers abuse people just as often anyway"

so firstly, I don't hate anybody. and secondly, regarding the fact that victims really do exist, [insert "of course I know him, he's me" meme here]; although I don't often talk much about the abuse I went through or what my religious beliefs are. but, more importantly, statements like "survivors are people" can be phrased like "some people are survivors", and when you're unable to act according to the latter (like when you don't even consider that somebody might be one) then you display a failure to recognise the former - you're projecting; a survivor can't be appropriating their own pain, but you can be appropriating it to silence one. and thirdly, teachers do abuse - the problem isn't and has never been purely religion, rather that abuse is often done by somebody in a position of trust, power, and familiarity; and that the lack of a global minimum enables totally legal abuse on top of the illegal stuff. people with access and respect have more opportunity to abuse than those without, and that goes for teachers too. but, once again, you can be appropriating the pain of survivors to deflect and silence people. please remember this before you say that shit.

4) "get help/therapy"

way ahead of you - years ahead of you. but it's not magic - people who say this often act as if you'll start behaving differently overnight. not only are some things simply beyond the ability of talking therapy to completely rectify, it also takes time and has to be selective. you've got to pick your priorities, and that's definitely not whatever ship or joke you're mad at me about today. therapy is a slow, arduous process that can't guarantee results - it isn't "anti-recovery" to recognise that, it's honesty. while I've been in therapy for a long time, it is not necessarily going to change whatever you don't like about me - whether that's because it can't, because my focus now is on more important or urgent things, or because I don't want to change that.

5a) "tell your family you ship incest, see how that goes; normal people find it disgusting"

actually, some know, and they're fine with it. in fact, one prefers sibling pairings in fiction to all other dynamics because, to paraphrase, "it's a deeper level of messed up co-dependence". so unfortunately for you, my remaining family (by which I mean those not dead or cut out of my life after abuse and so forth) actually are able to distinguish between fiction and reality. plus, my reasoning for caring if they find it gross or not pertains only to recommending books and such - their opinions do not dictate my tastes.

5b) "don't sexualise/appropriate incestuous abuse" and "I bet you enjoyed being raped" and other attempts to upset me over 5a

firstly, as I've already said here, survivors can't be appropriating ourselves. in addition, you're not owed people's history or trauma - it's not okay to require people's personal information, or else you'll send anon hate and accusations of appropriation. secondly, I'm not sexualising our abuse (not just because I write horror, and so a lot of my writing is intended to be creepy, not sexy); these stories aren't about us, they're not us at all. entire dynamics/people (fictional or otherwise) aren't all going to be applicable to us or identical to us, just because they have something in common with us; they're not us and they're not accountable to us. thirdly, the fact that people send this stuff (attempting to trigger people's trauma over ships) is so much more worrying to me than somebody making our communal imaginary friends kiss. you're trying to hurt people. and finally, to the "I bet you enjoyed it" crowd (if you're at all serious): do you think you'd enjoy being in a real zombie apocalypse, alone, afraid, and really at risk of being eaten alive? a fictional scenario does not feel remotely the same as a real one. this isn't rocket science - things that look like you aren't you; fiction isn't reality; don't send anon hate. (edit: comparable "just leave me alone, I'm not hurting anyone" sentiments for yandere stuff, and anything else you decide I'm naughty for.)

6) "you'll be sent off to do manual labour once your communist revolution happens"

while I don't know why people think that I'm a communist, a dictatorial regime probably isn't going to want me to do manual labour. they're more likely to just shoot me; I'm useless and a liability. call me crazy, but something tells me that "ah yes, we shall give ze deranged cripple ze power tools" isn't the communist position.

7a) "they/them can't be singular pronouns"

yes they can, and they're used as such in both shakespeare and the bible. but you don't have to say this - I'm also okay with he/him, so you could've just used those and chilled out. also, do I look like somebody who views the rules of grammar as fully immutable and imperative?

7b) "enbies/aros/pan/etc aren't valid"

do you really think that you're going to change any hearts or minds by putting that in my ask box or under my funny maymays? chill out, it's not worth the effort - you could be planning a party (in minecraft) and having fun instead. it isn't worth my time to rant at everybody who's saying something isn't valid, updating how I'm explaining it as my opinions grow and general discourse around it evolves; I'm just who I am, somebody else is who they are - why bicker in presumptuous ways about if that's enough? it ultimately is valid, in my opinion, but that isn't an invitation to keep demanding that I debate. (edit: old posts of mine probably don't phrase things incredibly, on this or anything... I tried.)

8) "what are your politics?"

my politics are informed first and foremost by the knowledge that I'm not cut out to be some kind of leader - I don't want to be the guy who tells everyone else what to do, I just offer what seem to me like valid criticisms of how we are doing things now, and general pointers on the values and ethics that I would prefer to move towards. things like individual freedom, taking the most pacifist route where possible, trying not to give excessive power to small groups of people (governments or corporations), helping those in need even when they're not palatable, and letting me suck loads of dicks. but please refrain from decreeing me something - there's not enough information in what I said, so you'll just be filling in the blanks with assumptions. (edit: workplace democracy seems cool to me; benefits are good; fair fines and taxes; and the "sperm makes you loopy" saga: 1, 2, 3, and 4.)

9) "you're a narcissist"

no, I don't meet the diagnostic criteria. joking on the internet that you're hot doesn't make a person a narcissist. the fact that I've chosen to keep my actual self-esteem issues to myself is not proof that they don't exist - you're just not entitled to that information about me. but it's also not narcissism to really like how you look. (edit: don't throw labels around carelessly too.)

10a) "kin list?"

the fabric of the universe, a zombie, dionysus, maned wolf/arctic fox hybrid, a comedian, big gay, big rock, ambiguously partial insincerity. (edit: kin list may or may not be incomplete.)

10b) "kin isn't valid/that's just being insane"

haven't we established that I'm deranged, and that sending stuff like this on anon is simply a waste of your precious time? besides, I do not care if it's invalid or insane - it's fun, I'm happy. (edit: see 7b for my opinion on sending me yet another ask with "that's invalid" in it; I'm not in the mood to discuss the nature of validity.)

bonus: "it gets better" and "trigger list?"

as I've said before, things just don't always get better for everyone - sometimes things can't be cured or even treated, sometimes they kill you; in some cases it could get better if not for a blockade or lack of time. the world is messy. it needs to be more normalised to reassure or comfort people without relying on saying that their issue will get better or be cured. it does suck to be this ill, but it also sucks to be made out to be a lazy pessimist, just because I have the audacity to not play along. and as for the trigger list, I don't like providing people with an easily accessed list of ways to hurt my feelings or harm me - upsetting me is supposed to be challenging, and thus rewarding. if you want a cheat sheet then you're out of luck, I'm afraid.

bonus #2: "FAQ stands for frequently asked questions, it doesn't need that s at the end!"

yeah, I know, I just enjoy chaos and disarray.

bonus #3 (edit): "what are your disabilities and how exactly are they incurable and/or deadly?"

again, I don't tell the internet everything about me, especially when it poses a risk, especially not as an easily accessible list for you to refer back to whenever you feel inclined to hurt my feelings. that is understandably a sore subject. (edit: that includes physical health issues btw.)

bonus #4 (edit): "so we shouldn't be critical?"

if it wasn't clear from my answer about politics or my post in general, you can have opinions about things, and you can voice that. it's just not realistic to exist at extremes: to think that you alone should dictate what exists in fiction, or to think that people shouldn't be expressing disdain or criticism of any calibur. say how you feel about things, that's fine, but it's also fine if people find that they don't value your input. plus we're all flawed, we can all be hypocritical from time to time, we all get bitchy, and we all make mistakes, or even knowingly fuck things up. that's important to keep in mind, whether we're talking about the one being criticised or the one doing the criticising - poor choices of words, imperfect tone, or contradictory ideas are inevitably going to happen occasionally.

congrats on reaching the end! if you have, at any point, said one of these to me, you owe a hug to your nearest loved one (once it's safe).

edit: might add more links/bonus points in the future when I think of things, but it's late now. (sorry for links where prior notes in the thread have my old url, that may get a tad confusing; also, not all links are my blog or my op, since it is to illustrate points/vibes, not to self-promo.)

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

Wait For It

Dean stalks out of the Impala agitatedly.

It's a sunny afternoon, and Sam's on the porch, coffee on the table next to him, flipping through his political science handbook. He looks up when he hears the car door being slammed, and his eyes follow Dean as he lands in the other chair around the table.

Then, without warning or premonition, Dean starts to talk.

He's got a new colleague.

Novak, he calls him. With gritted teeth, frowning eyebrows, and feeling.

They don't usually talk about people. So Sam listens.

Considering the amount of time Dean devotes talking about how Novak walked into his office, stride radiating importance as though he'd been summoned by Dean himself - well, he really must be a pain in the ass.

*

Over the next week, Sam's not always outside when Dean comes home from work. When he finally is, on a Thursday, Dean plants himself across him and starts speaking immediately.

Sam closes his book, purses his lips and pays attention.

Castiel, he's become.

Horrible, he's remained.

When Dean's done ranting, the sun's gone down. He gets up, hands on his hips. "He's just a jackass about everything, Sammy. Who's pretentious about eyecolor? Nobody's eyes can be that blue."

Sam nods sympathetically.

Dean goes away to make dinner, satisfied.

*

Midterms are round the corner.

Without really paying attention to it, Sam's stopped flipping through his handbook, and started highlighting in his textbook. He stays up late, and wakes up early, determinedly chipping away at the ginorminous block of syllabus, bit by bit.

He also stops being out on the porch when Dean comes back from work, and Dean tends to not barge into his bedroom to talk about the awful people he works with, so that's that.

But dinner isn't saved.

It's a simple conversation about mashed potatoes, and Dean goes off. "You won't believe how ridiculous Castiel is about honey, dude." Sam asks for a second helping, he also receives an anecdote on Castiel's ungrateful attitude towards Dean.

Sam doesn't even dare to mention his dislike for bacon once, for all the times Dean offers him it - because he's sure he'd get another indepth analysis of how Castiel hates Dean.

But when they settle down to watch Law & Order after dinner that night, Sam gets a chance to think. He wonders, not for the first time, how truly terrible Cas must be, for Dean to talk about him all the frigging time, and by the end of the episode, he's decided to be the pillar of support his brother needs, right now.

So when Dean starts, randomly, about how Castiel doesn't even appreciate good music, Sam whips out his puppy eyes, and listens to the entire tale.

*

Weeks pass.

His first paper is Tuesday, Ethics. Sam spends most hours of the day on his desk, holed up in his room.

It would be unfair to Dean to say he used up all the time Sam did spend around him, to talk about Cas.

(Which Castiel had ended up being, obviously.)

He only used like sixty percent of it.

*

"He's just...a weird, dorky little guy." Dean ends, biting his lip, eyes cast to the floor. His hands play with the hem of his jacket - he's still in work clothes.

Sam sighs.

"You know what?" Dean stands up. "I'm going to make coffee. Do I get you a mug or a thermos?"

"Thermos, please." Sam calls after him, gratefully.

"Okay. Carry on, bitch."

*

Sam feels guilty.

He's been so caught up in college, deadlines and exams, he's hardly talked to Dean except to thank him for all the coffee and sandwiches.

Dean may be a jerk all year, but he can get really supportive when Sam needs him to be.

Sam feels bad for not doing the same.

So when Dean puts a peanut butter sandwich in front of him, at one am while Sam panics through his last night revision, he looks up at his brother blankly and asks. "Hey, how's the guy who's been making your life hell? You stopped telling me about him."

"Oh, uh." Dean pauses.

Sam waits, but Dean takes too long, as if he's contemplating, so he takes a bite of his sandwich instead.

"He's not that bad." Dean finally lets out, exhaling into a hint of a smile.

Sam raises his eyebrows.

*

"To you kicking Stanford's ass!" Dean raises his bottle, perhaps the sixth toast of the night, giant grin plastered on his face.

"I keep telling you the results are a far way from being out yet - but hear, fucking hear!" Sam clinks his glass to Dean's beer, smile equally wide. He's finally done. There's finally no more papers, no more tests, no more revision.

He made it through.

"I'm proud of you." Dean mutters lazily, leaning back on the seat.

"Y-yeah. I know." Sam returns joyfully, neither of them really thinking about what they're saying. They've been drinking for hours. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." Dean repeats, and proceeds to chuckle at his words. There's a moment of silence - well, as silent as it ever gets in the Roadhouse. Then Dean speaks up. "Guess what, Sammy?"

Sam doesn't even correct him.

"What?"

"I'm going to ask Cas out today." Dean declares, and Sam's eyebrows go up again, because while he's definitely known his brother's into guys for years, he hadn't expected Dean to come out like this.

But six beers in, and a declaration of pride out, Dean just ups and says it.

"I think I have a crush on him."

*

Many months go by. It's Sam's final year. And he's moving back onto campus.

"I'm going to miss you." Sam tells Dean, after they've finished lugging all of his bags into Jessica's room. Dean's half sitting on Baby's hood, and Sam has his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Shuddup." Dean throws back, and he definitely sounds weird. "I'm like, seven minutes away."

"Still." Sam grins, earnest.

"Yeah, alright. I'm not making you move out, okay?" Dean straightens, scoffing. "Have fun convincing Jessica to make you breakfast food at midnight."

"Yeah but," Sam laughs. "You live like, seven minutes away."

"Like hell I do. Get your ninety-percent peanut butter ass over here." Dean sighs, and Sam walks up to him, letting Dean pull him into a hug.

They hold onto each other, safety in the familiarity. Both of them know that they're probably not going to live together again. Sam has a plan after college, which doesn't involve moving back to Dean's. But they've shared a house for so long, it's going to feel weird.

It's going to be strange.

To lighten the moment, Sam whispers. "So, uh. Cas is moving in after I'm gone, isn't he?"

"He's probably already redecorating the place to get rid of your nerd cooties." Dean thumps him on the back, as they separate. There's a smile lingering on his face.

"What about your nerd cooties?" Sam bitchfaces at him.

"He likes those." Dean defends, crossing his arms on his chest.

"I bet he does." Sam snorts, and Dean reddens, realizing he just walked right into that, and then he just swears under his breath goodnaturedly as Sam walks into his new place.

*

Sam's phone rings.

It's only eight, on a Saturday, and Sam doesn't have to leave for office at nine like everyday, so he's sleeping in. Amelia's next to him, and she elbows him when the annoying ringtone wakes her before it wakes Sam.

"Sorry, babe." Sam tells her, kissing the top of her head distractedly, picking up the phone and sitting up when he hears Dean's voice.

It's trembling with excitement.

"Sam!" Dean gushes, and there's really no other word for it. There seems to be a commotion behind him, but the happy kind. Dean's tone is almost ecstatic.

"Dean?" Sam confirms, groggily.

"Dude, Cas just asked me to marry him!" Dean let out, almost breathless. "And I said yes! Of course, I said yes! We're getting married, Sammy!."

A smile grows on Sam's face. "Dude. You're getting married."

"I'm getting married!" Dean repeats, and proceeds to chuckle at something Cas is saying apparently, because then he tells Sam he's putting him on speaker.

"Hello, Sam." Cas greets him, sounding thoroughly overjoyed.

"Congratulations, Cas." Sam says, beaming now. He's so happy for them both. Cas is amazing, and he gets Dean, and Sam knows Dean loves him so much. "And, uh, Dean? You better fight a good fight for my Bestmanship, versus Castiel's brother, okay?"

Dean laughs, and it's the kind of rare excited laugh which makes everyone around smile too.

Cas answers, instead, his voice just as excited. "Don't worry, I'd rather have Gabriel be the caterer."

Sam chuckles. "Good."

"Give the phone back a minute, Cas," Dean says in the background, and then it's off-speaker, and just Dean, again. "You're not busy being important or anything, are you?"

Sam looks around him. "No?" Dean hesitates for a beat, until Sam catches the gist. "Dude! Of course I'm not busy. Tell me everything!" Dean lets out a sound which is definitely a squeal, though he'd never own up to it. "How did it happen? Why did it happen so early?"

Dean exhales, happily, and Sam can picture the smile on his face.

"Wait, is there a ring? Dean, I need you to show me the ring." Sam adds, just before Dean starts to tell Sam about it all. Just like he had, at the very beginning.

*

Six days to the wedding, Sam sits on the old porch chair, tapping his pen on his notebook.

He needs to write a speech.

There's so much to tell. The two of them are adorable, for god's sake. They tend to be cheesy even in front of him, and so unaware of it - Sam wonders if they turn into mushy marshmallows when his back is turned.

Maybe he should include that in his speech. "Mushy Marshmallows" is a cute alliteration. Huh.

After an entire evening of thinking, he pushes himself off his seat to get a cup of coffee. (He'd try to convince Dean to make some, but him and Cas have an appointment with a florist for the wedding.)

In any case, Sam may not be done with the speech entirely, but he figures he's earned a break. You see, he's already got an unbelievably great title. He can work from there.

"How Dean Is The Worst Judge Of People."

He has a good first line, too. "Exhibit A: Novak-slash-Castiel-slash-Cas."

[threeletterslife]

On a Cold Summer Day

→ summary: Maybe deciding to leave California to attend uni in New York was the dumbest decision you've ever made. It's fucking freezing here! You don't think you can survive without the beach twenty minutes away from your living space. At least you have a native New Yorker Kim Seokjin to help you adjust. Kinda.

→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG-13

→ genre: 70% fluff, 30% crack | college!au

→ warnings: profanity, mentions of sex, implied sex, dating apps lol (tinder & bumble)

→ wordcount: 7.2k

cr. 

This is a motherfucking abomination.

They're asking you to come to class on a Monday at 8 in the morning??? What kind of fucking monstrosity was this? You thought college was supposed to be a goodbye to waking up early. Now you have to take your goddamn philo 101 class at the asscrack of dawn (okay, it's not exactly dawn, but still).

It's too early to be discussing Socrates and human ethics and all that head-aching shit. And even worse, it's fucking freezing in New York!

You're what people call the basic SoCal girl. You grew up with palm trees in your backyard. Anything below 80 degrees is enough to make you bring out your winter jackets (which aren't really real jackets either). In fact, your definition of a winter jacket is slipping on a lightweight flannel over your usual tank top.

But now, in New York, damn the weather wasn't kind. You wear a parka to class and when you're waddling about the campus, you look like a giant marshmallow. Honestly, it's a little humiliating.

It hasn't even been a month and you already miss California. God, you miss the sunshine. And also In-N-Out.

The college workload isn't as bad as you anticipated so even after attending your dreaded morning classes, you're left with a sufficient amount of time. You used to spend those extra hours on Tinder, passing left and right on guys with the swipe of your thumb as you drooled over their shirtless profile pictures.

But ever since you met Jungkook—

Ah, Jungkook. He was a very interesting story. How do you start telling this? Hm.

Well, it really started on the first day of college. The moment after you attended orientation, found your dorm, kissed your parents goodbye and said hello to your roommates, you revisited your trust-worthy dating app, Tinder while lounging on your bed. All that professional business on the first day of uni kind of made you horny.

Back in California, you had a few memorable encounters with your Tinder partners that left you blushing and hot-faced for weeks. When your high school besties found out you were moving away from the Golden State to attend NYU, they would not let it go about all the hot NYC men you would be able to, er for the lack of better word choice, bang.

So you were going to listen to them and hook up with a New York guy. And not even twenty seconds into your swiping party on Tinder, you spot him.

His name is Jeon Jungkook. 20. NYU student. Civil Engineering. Hot damn. You had to take a few seconds to stalk his profile before screaming internally and victoriously swiping right. Now you just had to wait until he swipes right on you. If you're lucky, maybe you could get laid tonight.

And lucky you were.

You dressed in a simple outfit (that'd be easy to discard) and met Jungkook at the Shake Shack for a casual date (in which the burgers are not as half as good as the burgers in In-N-Out). After some casual discussion that honestly didn't last too long, he took you back to his rented apartment.

And then you had the worst sex in your life. Not that Jungkook was lacking in the downstairs department, (no, no he was pretty measurable), but apparently he had a roommate that would not fucking shut up for the life of him. It's not a very sexy experience when you hear someone loudly rage quit Minecraft in the room next to you.

But you and Jungkook had both laughed it off. After all, the two of you already really clicked. And on your part, although you didn't quite have the perfect hook up, you found a likable NYC man. You were surely going to see him again.

See him again you did. Jungkook made sure his roommate would be gone this time before the two of you lay down on his couch and began watching some random rom-com. Halfway through, he initiated some making out, which was as perfect as making out could get. Until you muttered something about how "sexy a NYC man is."

Jungkook laughed so hard he almost fell off the couch. The rest of the night was not spent having sex. Instead, the two of you stayed up late talking about your home states, which both happened to be California. You were so excited about meeting another Californian that your horniness completely dissipated.

And from then on, you and Jungkook became close buddies with slight benefits. (You found him to be a better platonic companion than a sexual partner.) Mostly you came to him to rant about New Yorkers, and he would laugh at you, telling you that you would get used to it.

So, that was your story with Jungkook.

Now you're on your way to his apartment with some Shake Shack to-go so the two of you can watch Shark Tank (which you've been dying to see). When you finally reach Jungkook's apartment and knock on his door, to your surprise Jungkook doesn't answer it. Instead, a tall man—a handsome man—stands looking at your rather puzzled face.

He's so unbelievably hot that your breath hitches.

"Hey," the man says, grinning. "JK's girl?"

"I'm single," you blurt out, no doubt making googly eyes at the man in front of you. "I-I brought some Shake Shack," you offer. "Um, Jungkook and I were, like, supposed to hang out..."

"I'm here!" Jungkook's calls from inside the apartment. "Let her in, bitch!"

"Yesterday I was 'motherfucker' and today, I'm 'bitch,' apparently," the Bitch Man says. "I think JK's forgotten my name." When he laughs, you don't know why you feel flustered. "I'm Seokjin," he says, gesturing for you to come into the apartment. "But you can call me Jin. Or any variation. I don't really care. As long as it's not 'bitch.' " Seokjin glares at Jungkook who's snickering in the background.

"O-Okay," you say, stumbling into the apartment and nearly tripping over your own shoes as you place the takeout bag on the kitchen counter.

"Hey, Y/N!" Jungkook says, slapping your back as he greets you merrily as usual. "Long time no see! I have the show on TV already. You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah," you say quickly. "Dude, but like who the fuck is the hottie?" you whisper urgently to your friend. "Like I don't remember you telling me you know someone like that."

"Oh, him?" Jungkook snorts. "That's my roommate."

Your eyes turn wide as you gape open-mouthed at the handsome figure casually lounging on the couch already. "Shut up. He's the fucking Minecraft rage quitter??"

Jungkook laughs. "Yeah. Not so handsome anymore, huh?"

You're still in shock, stuttering to find an answer, but Jungkook laughs at your pathetic attempt, grabbing the Shake Shack bag and dragging you over to the couch.

"Dude, is he like going to hang out with us?" you ask Jungkook in a low whisper, nodding over at Seokjin who was busily using his phone.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind," Jungkook tells you as he man spreads on the right side of the couch, putting you in the middle of the two men. "His Bumble date canceled on him last minute. So I'm trying to patch up his enormous ego."

"Fuck, of course I don't mind," you hiss at him. "But if you told me earlier, I wouldn't have come here in sweats. Like I thought it was weird that you ordered two burgers, but like I just thought you had a huge appetite today!"

"I think you look hot in sweats."

"Well, thanks." Wait. You freeze. That was definitely not Jungkook's voice. A blush creeps up your cheeks as you turn to your left, only to see Seokjin, gazing at you with friendly eyes and a bright smile. "O-Oh!" you sputter. "T-Thanks, Jin. Sorry, it's just that like, I, uh I take first impressions pretty... um, seriously."

The man on your left laughs out loud. "Y/N, my first impression of you was weeks ago. I heard you and Jungkook through the wall."

Your mouth drops open. "No."

"Yes," Jin insists.

"NO!" you shout, leaning back from Seokjin and squishing Jungkook in the process. "Were you trying to be a loud gamer to drown out our noises?!" you shriek.

"Yes?" Seokjin says so obviously that he even phrases it like it's a question.

"Oh, god," you groan, burying your face in your hands. "I'm sorry. I'm, like, actually so, so sorry."

Jungkook tries hard not to burst out laughing at your humiliation and even Jin can't help but grin.

"It's fine," Seokjin says. "You made it up to me with the burgers!" he exclaims, fishing out his Shake Shack hamburger from the bag and breathing in deeply. "Ahh," he sighs dreamily, "the best hamburger money can buy."

Okay. You have to admit that his perfect New York accent is hot, but you can't just ignore what he had just uttered. "I think In-N-Out has the best hamburger money can buy," you say, crossing your arms over your chest quite authoritatively. You tend to become quite defensive about Californian culture.

Jungkook snickers at how serious you've become in a matter of seconds but he stays silent.

Seokjin looks at you with his eyebrows raised and an amused smile on his lips. "Really?" he says. "You should get used to the Shake Shack then. We don't have In-N-Out around here."

Your mouth drops open for the second time today as you jerk your body around to stare at Jin. "What the fuck do you mean there's no In-N-Out?"

The man shrugs, relaxing back with his burger in hand and grinning at you. "I mean, we do have better burgers at the Shake Shack."

You groan, collapsing back on the couch and staring defeatedly at the bright TV screen. "I miss California."

"Jungkook went through the same thing," Seokjin assures you. You slowly turn your head to look at him. "I helped him assimilate to NYC life. And now look at him! He's so good at acting like a pure-blood New-Yorker that you even called him a 'sexy NYC man!' "

Oh, no. That particular memory sears through your head, leaving you flustered and quite frankly, frustrated.

"What?? How do you even—" you pause to glare at Jungkook who suddenly refuses to look your way. "I can't believe you told him, Jungkook!"

"We're roommates. We tell each other everything," Seokjin proudly says.

"Oh, god," you mutter under your breath.

"Seok's right, though," Jungkook pipes up. "He's the man to go to when you want to get into the NYC spirit! The dude was born and raised here. He knows everything you need to know about New York. Hang out with him a few times and you'll surely have to drop your SoCal girl status."

You huff. "But like I love being a SoCal girl!"

"We'll see how fast that can change," Seokjin grins.

This isn't a date... is it?

Seokjin had offered to take you out to wander about New York and guide you around to sight-see. He'd told you to dress casually, but how casual is New York casual?? You end up wearing a wine-red sleeveless romper and some cute gladiator sandals, which would honestly make you feel underdressed if you walked anywhere around LA like this.

But one step out into the cold night air, your teeth begin to chatter aggressively. Seokjin's already waiting for you outside of your dorm building and he laughs out loud when he sees you shivering violently.

"You sound like a woodpecker," he snorts. "You look cute, by the way."

"T-T-Thanks," you stutter. "Holy shit, Seokjin, how are you in a T-shirt and shorts right now? It's so motherfucking cold, goddammit!"

Jin throws his head to laugh—almost as if you told the funniest joke in the world. Which, you did not. "It's only 70 degrees, Y/N!"

"It is not!" you argue. "Shiver me fucking timbers, it has to be at least thirty degrees. Where's the snow??"

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have worn a sleeveless romper then," Seokjin teases you. "Do you want to go back inside and change?"

"No!" you say. "It's called fashion. Back in California I could wear whatever the fuck I wanted. Like, do you understand that my wardrobe's being limited here??"

Seokjin shrugs, nudging you playfully as he gestures toward the night sky. The brisk air nips at your bare arms and tickles your nose, making you huddle closer to the man next to you. He merely smiles at your action and wraps a warm arm around you. "Welcome to New York, Y/N."

School keeps you busy for a good few months. Meeting up with Jungkook to rant about New York's rat problem and nasty subways while drooling over California's great wonders has become a rarity especially when you're trying hard to maintain your straight-A streak (literally since the day you were born). You haven't even touched Tinder on your phone for a good three months! (And that has nothing to do with the fact that you kinda might have a crush on Kim Seokjin.)

You've been texting him a few times a week (though you've never really gotten to meet up after your first, uh, "date." But the flirty texts he sends you and the promise of meeting up after all of your major exams makes you work twice as hard on your schoolwork. Jin also incessantly teases you about your strange Californian dialect, but you don't mind—especially when you can bag him for replacing every 't' sound with a 'd,' thanks to his New York accent. (He keeps pronouncing 'the' like 'da' and you have to admit, it's a little endearing.)

By the time Thanksgiving Break rolls around, you're deep in the process of organizing your lecture notes so you don't let yourself go out for a whole week.

And when Winter Break rushes in, you and Jungkook take off to California to reunite with family, leaving Seokjin to drown alone in the New York festivity while you and Kook enjoy a hot winter (literally). But the two of you make sure to come back to New York during New Year's to celebrate the iconic ball drop.

"I don't have to watch it on TV anymore!" you had said triumphantly.

When the countdown had signaled a New Year, you weren't lip-locking with either of your friends (but you didn't really mind). Instead, Seokjin had popped a bottle of apple cider (because you and Jungkook couldn't legally drink yet). Jin sipped his own champagne as he watched his younger friends get sugar drunk on apple cider.

All too soon, Winter Break is over. And now's the start of a new semester at NYU, but you already know your classes and professors so you finally let yourself relax. (Jungkook always tells you it's crazy how strongly you radiate work-hard and play-hard energy.)

Yet no matter how long you spend in New York, you just can't get used to it. It must be because you've mostly been stuck inside studying.

The moment you meet up with Jin again, you're brought into the world of New York once more.

"I missed your accent!" you yell as you nearly bulldoze over Seokjin to hug him when he opens the door to his apartment for you.

"Wow. You didn't miss me?" he jokes as he embraces you, tugging you into his apartment and closing the door behind you. "I thought you'd be happier to see me and not hear my insanely hot accent."

"Keep talking, please," you giggle, burying your face against his chest.

"You have no shame, Y/N," Seokjin sighs, but he lets you cling onto him as he waddles backward and towards the small living space with the TV set in it. "JK's out on Tinder date so the apartment is for us," he tells you as he practically throws you on the couch. "What do you wanna do?"

You huff, straightening up your clothes and glaring at Jin for tossing you. "I appreciate it. Like I'm totally not a fragile package," you mutter sarcastically. "I don't know. I guess we can, like, do anything. Are you in the mood of staying in..? Or, like, do you wanna go out?"

"Hmmm," Seokjin pretends to think. He collapses on the couch next to you, staring up at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face. "How about we go out?" he says. "You've been cramped up in your dorm room for so long, I think you need fresh air."

"It's like you can read my fucking mind," you grin. "Where to?"

"We're going to get some New York-style pies!"

"Oh, shit," you say. "I love pies."

Apple pie, blueberry pie, key lime pie... Fuck, I'm practically salivating already.

Seokjin winks at you, hoisting you up on your feet and marching toward the apartment door. "Pies, here we come!"

"I fucking thought we were getting pies, Seokjin. Like, dude. This is a pizza parlor," you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Oh, Y/N," Seokjin laughs, ruffling your hair with affection, but when you glare daggers into him, he stops with a nervous chuckle. "Well, we New Yorkers call whole pizzas, pies. It makes more sense that way."

You nearly rip out your hair. "How does that make sense? Pizza and pie are two completely different things! What do you call your pies then??"

"We call them pies!"

"Huh??"

"Whatever," Seokjin snorts. "You need to get used to all of this New Yorker dialect and slang," he says, nudging you. "What do you want on your pizza pie? I'm getting a whole one so JK can have the leftovers."

"Um, I usually get cheese, mushrooms, goat cheese and oregano," you say. "But, like, I'll take anything except pineapples. Pineapples on pizza is a fucking sin."

Jin gasps loudly, putting a hand on his heart. "I always put pineapples on my pies!"

"Oh no. Don't tell me you're one of those people," you groan. "Come on, Jin, I thought you knew better! Like I swear, it's a New Yorker thing—"

"Don't you try to put the blame on New York!" Jin says. "Besides, JK likes pineapples on his pizza pies too, so maybe you're the weird one."

"God, not Kook too."

"Well, we'll get half with pineapples and half without," Seokjin compromises. "How does that sound?"

"Abominable," you mutter under your breath. If there are pineapples anywhere on the pizza, every slice will still have that disgusting tangy taste to it.

"Sorry?"

"I-I mean, that sounds great!" you feign an over-enthused look on your face as you pump your fist in the air. "But you're paying."

Seokjin rolls his eyes but agrees.

And the rest of the time spent goes rather smoothly. The two of you poke fun at each other as usual, and you only mildly get offended when Seokjin pulls the:

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Mm?" you say with your mouth stuffed with pizza (you never thought New York-style pizza could beat the Californian-style but here you are).

"I need to ask you one more thing before we wrap up and I walk you to your dorm," he says, handing you a napkin when you finally swallow your food.

"Thanks," you say. "Ask away."

"I've always wondered," Seokjin says as he leans forward, resting his chin on his upright hand, "why do you excessively say the word, 'like?' "

You let out an unflattering yelp, almost choking on your own spit. Quickly, you take a sip of your ice-cold water to ease the scratchiness of your throat. "Like, what do you mean?" you manage to choke out after an embarrassingly awkward pause.

"I mean, I'm just curious why you say 'like' every five seconds," Jin says, cocking his head. "Is it a SoCal thing? Or a Y/N thing?"

"It is not a Y/N thing! Like a lot of other girls do this, I swear. And it's not like I wanna say it," you huff. "I guess it's like this kind of habit that I, like, can't really get rid of. I dunno. I've heard it was a SoCal thing, but like I'm not too sure."

"Five," Seokjin says.

"What?"

"You said 'like' five times in approximately fifteen seconds," Jin says. "That's about one 'like' every three seconds. That's quite a lot. And I take back my previous hypothesis in which I said you said 'like' every five seconds. I guess it was three."

"I literally hate you!" you scoff. "When did you get all mathematician with me?"

"Since I applied to NYU as a compsci major," Seokjin answers, "which was about three years ago."

You huff. "Whatever I'm gonna major in, I hope it's not related to math."

"Come to think of it," Jin hums, "I never got to know your major." He brushes the pizza crumbs off from his hands and stands up to toss the used napkins away in a nearby trash can.

You stand up as well, taking up the pizza box as Seokjin guides you out of the pizza parlor. "I'm undecided," you tell him. "Like I really don't know what I want to do."

"Well, you're an undergrad, so you'll find something you'll like soon," Jin assures you. "You've got time."

"Thanks," you smile. "Honestly, you're the GOAT."

"Excuse me, I'm a what?" Seokjin looks mildly offended.

"The GOAT?" you say. "You're not even in your thirties yet, keep up!"

"A goat??" Jin bellows. "A fucking barn animal??"

You want to facepalm but your hands are occupied with the pizza box. "The Greatest Of All Time???" When Seokjin still looks puzzled, you shake your head, "Might wanna check out Twitter now and then, old man."

"Maybe that's a California thing!" Jin protests. "It's totally a California thing. I mean, look, Y/N, New Yorkers aren't that crazy to go around calling people barn animals."

"New Yorkers are definitely crazier than Californians," you say. "Oh, and we have to cross the street soon, my dorm's close."

"No way in hell we're crazier than you," Seokjin snorts. "C'mon we can cross the street here."

The here that Seokjin's refers to is a street full of cars and no pedestrian crossing. "Are you really suggesting that we jaywalk?" you say incredulously. "This just proves my point further!"

"What?? Jaywalking is normal," he argues. "Plus, it saves time. We New Yorkers are busy!"

"Puh-lease," you say. "You won't be so busy when you're dead," you point out. "There was this girl who went to my high school, right? And like one day we all heard that she died after some stupid car hit her when she was jaywalking. Dude, her boyfriend's still mourning her death. I think his name was Taehyun. Or Daehyung. Or Taehyung? I don't remember. But my point is," you pause dramatically, "that I don't want to die so we should not jaywalk."

"Californians are way too laid back," Seokjin sighs. "Fine!" He throws his hands into the air. "We'll find a crosswalk, then. I'll spare your life."

You giggle, nudging him to the side. "Thank you. Chivalry is not dead."

"Shivering is definitely not dead either," Jin jokes. "It's only sixty degrees, Y/N. And you're wearing a whole coat! Do you really need me to give you my jacket?"

"Oh shut up," you say, hugging the warm pizza box closer to your chest. "New York at night is freezing. Like I still haven't gotten used to it. And no, I don't need your jacket," you scoff, upturning your nose away from Jin.

"Fine, but if you become a frozen popsicle, I'm selling you off to a museum."

"Wow," you deadpan. "I rescind what I said earlier. You are not the GOAT. You are the WOAT."

"I don't have to be a genius to understand what that acronym is," Jin snorts. "And I am not the worst of all time. That's Jungkook. You know, he brought in his Tinder date again yesterday and they've been really, really loud in the bedroom. I can't fucking sleep."

"Oh, poor Jinnie," you coo. "What are you gonna do?"

"I just blasted the Baby Shark song yesterday on my speaker and they stopped on their own," he shrugs. "It's an instant turn-off, apparently."

"That's evil!" you cry. "But so genius."

"I know, I know," Jin laughs. "Any more song suggestions to prevent Jungkook from banging at the craziest hours of the night?"

"Hm..." you say. "What about the Winx Club theme song? Or the Pokémon theme song? Or, oh my god, like what about the Sofia the First theme song???"

"What the fuck are the Winx Club and Sofia the First?" Jin says.

"No way," you say, shivering slightly when a gust of wind decides to torment you and your hair. Pulling the strands of your hair from your mouth, you yell, "You're missing out! I grew up with the Winx Club! And I only watched Sofia the First because my younger sister liked it so much."

"You have a younger sister?" Seokjin asks. "Well, figures. I'm an only child so the only things I watched as a kid were Transformers and the Avengers." He snorts. "Maybe a little bit of Pokémon."

"Dude, I could name all 151 Pokémon from Generation I," you say. "I was obsessed."

"Oh yeah? I can name all 807!" Seokjin declares. "Every one of them from Generation I to VII."

"God, you have me beat," you giggle, shrugging your shoulders. “I thought you watched only a little bit of Pokémon!” 

“Maybe I just have a fantastic memory,” Seokjin teases.

You roll your eyes, though you’re grinning uncontrollably. Sighing, you turn to a stop in front of your dorm building, holding out the pizza box for Jin to take. "Oh, wow, what do you know? We're already here."

"That went by quickly," Jin laughs, taking the pizza box. "Time always flies quickly with you."

You don't know if he really meant the last part, but you blush an embarrassing color of fire-engine red of which you hope he can't see because of the darkness.

"I agree," you admit. "I had fun. And thanks for the pizza. New York-style reigns over what I'm used to back in California."

"No problem," Seokjin grins fondly at you. "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," you smile. "Just text me whenever Jungkook's being too loud on his sexscapades. I'll send some good turn-off music recommendations like right away!"

Seokjin laughs, nodding his head in agreement. "I can't wait."

I can't wait either.

Your crush on Seokjin literally amplifies by tenfolds every time you hang out with him, which is quite often these days.

One "date" with Jin had turned into two. Two turned into three. Then, five, then eight. Now you're seventeen "dates" in, you and Jin have yet to define your relationship with each other. But you suppose you don't mind.

It isn't very often that you're so emotionally attracted to someone. I mean, how long has it been since I liked someone before I had sex with them??

But your relationship with Seokjin is special, and you're willing to drag on these "dates" (at least you hope they're dates) if it means that you and he will eventually become a couple. Unless Seokjin's not attracted to you in that way.

But that's crazy. Who isn't attracted to you in that way?? Okay, maybe a lot of guys. But you've always had a sixth sense when it came to men! Usually, you crush on the same ones that like you back. So maybe something could really blossom out of your current relationship with Kim Seokjin.

Unless he friendzoned you the moment he heard you have sex with Jungkook.

You are in quite a dilemma.

Two weeks later, your dilemma has extended from your love life to your academic life. There is pressure from your parents and peers to choose a major—especially since you've already lasted one semester in college already.

You have to start studying for the final exams as well. And everything is driving you nuts.

You've always considered going to med school, but law school doesn't sound so bad either. You have to choose your majors according to what job you want to have in the future, but you don't know what you want to do at all! You're just really good at doing what you're given to do. So, honestly, if someone pulled a random major from a hat, you could probably take it and do something with it.

Hm. That idea doesn't sound that bad.

You end up FaceTiming Seokjin for guidance.

"Well, you look like you haven't gotten sleep," he comments when he sees your dark circles and frenzied hair.

"I need to choose a major," you tell him immediately. "Like, right now. In the next twenty minutes or I'm going to blow."

"Oh, shit. How can I help?"

"Okay, so I made this huge list of NYU's majors and like all you have to do is randomly scroll through the list and pick one!" you say. "Easy! Whatever you pick, I'll do it!"

Seokjin scrunches his face. "I don't think that's a good idea, Y/N. What if I pick something insane? Like bagpiping? Or mining?"

You roll your eyes. "I don't think NYU even has those majors. C'mon pick one, hurry up! I'll close my eyes. Tell me when you're done."

Seokjin looks at the long list of majors you had sent him, shaking his head at you in disbelief. He doesn't want you potentially ruining your future because he picked a shitty major for you. And you looked pretty serious about this idea too. As if the moment Seokjin chose a major, you'd pick it and run with it.

Jin's not going to jeopardize your future like that. He doesn't even have to look at the list to declare what he thinks would be best for you. (And besides, if you didn't like it, you could always change majors... And if you couldn't change majors, you can't really blame it on him because you made him choose randomly. So it would be your fault. So either way he's immune!)

"I landed on business management," Seokjin says. "You can open your eyes."

Your eyes are wide the moment you open them. "Management?" you gasp. For a second, Seokjin thinks you're going to throw a tantrum, but a huge grin erupts on your face. "Oh my god! Management! Why didn't I think of that before?? It's perfect! Thank you, Jin! Thank you so much! You're literally fucking magical."

Seokjin's almost taken aback by your positive response but he plays along with it rather coolly. "I am pretty fucking magical. You're welcome."

"You just reduced my stress levels by fifty percent," you say, sighing as you fall back on your bed. "I still have to study for all my final exams... Not very fun... You know, back in California, if I ever felt stressed out or something, I'd, like, drive to the beach for a fun day with friends."

Seokjin cracks a smile. "Yeah, well we have sewage water here in New York. You can swim in there if you miss the beach so much."

"Sounds appetizing," you deadpan. "One day, I'm going to take you to SoCal and show you the beaches."

"That honestly sounds great, Y/N," Jin says. "Never been to the beach before."

Your jaw drops open in shock. "No fucking way, Jin. No fucking way."

"Well, you never saw snow before until you came to New York," Jin points out.

"Yikes," you mutter. "Touché."

Seokjin smiles fondly at you before shaking out of his little reverie. "Hey, you have to study, right? I'll stop bothering you."

"Oh, please," you laugh. "You're not bothering me. I feel even better now. Not even a beach trip could elate me to this extent."

And it's true. Just talking to Seokjin for a few minutes dissipates all of your pent-up stress. And you have one less problem to worry about—you finally have an idea about what major you want to pursue! Seokjin is a walking miracle.

Maybe after your exams, you'll have to ask him out on an official date. If you don't chicken out, that is.

It is officially summer!

You've maintained your straight A's, have finally decided your major and even found a part-time job at a local thrift shop. Life is great.

It would've been better though if one, it wasn't so fucking cold during May and two if you were dating Seokjin.

Jungkook's been teasing you about how head-over-heels whipped you are for Jin, but you threaten to hack into JK's Tinder account and lock an unflattering photo of him on his profile picture whenever his teasing becomes extremely annoying. It's so strange that you've been stuck on one crush for nearly eight months now since usually, you have a new 'boy toy' every other week.

Seokjin is special.

So special that you literally gave up your hookups. And sex. You also deleted your Tinder account. You are serious about this man.

There's something about him that makes your insides twist in a funny way and your heart feel warm and fuzzy whenever he texts you. Have you mentioned how attentive to your needs he is? The man's a genius gift-giver! On your birthday (April 4th), he bought you an embroidered double-sided jacket that not only made a bold fashion statement but also kept you warm in the abominable New York weather.

God, you might even love this man.

You should confess to him soon before some other girl snatches him. But it seems as if Seokjin has stopped going on dates, and the only girl he actively hangs out with is you. (You had to ask Jungkook to figure that out.)

So maybe you have a chance.

And today is the day to act upon it.

Seokjin promised to take you out on a walk around Central Park after you finished your shift at the thrift shop. He's eagerly waiting with a warm cup of hot chocolate for you by the time you're finished.

"Hey!" you say, beaming. "Thanks for the drink."

"No problem," Seokjin answers, winking at you before sipping his own ice coffee. "Central Park's about forty minutes away from here. Are you up for the walk?"

"I walked around a lot in California so maybe I should ask you if you're up for the walk," you smile, strutting out of the shop with Jin quickly at your heels.

"Where's there to walk in California??" he asks when he catches up to you.

"Oh my god, Jin. You're forgetting about all the cool shit in LA!" you say. "I walked to Urth Cafe like every day after school with my friends. And then like we'd have these photoshoots on Melrose Avenue... Man, sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I went to UCLA."

"You got accepted into UCLA??"

"Yeah," you say sheepishly. "I'm kind of glad I didn't go, though." You would’ve never met Seokjin.

"Oh?" Seokjin laughs. "Are you finally getting accustomed to New York, then?"

"No way," you say, shaking your head fervidly. "Dude, do you not see the jacket I'm wearing right now? It's freezing! And you're wearing a short-sleeve shirt!"

"It's the jacket I bought you!" Jin exclaims, smiling. "Well, the weather here's something you gotta get used to. By the time you graduate, though, you'll be fine."

"I hope so," you say. "I really, really hope so."

"But I mean, other than the weather situation, I feel like New York is your home now," Jin says. "You like the people here, at least, right?" He bats his eyelashes flirtatiously and you roll your eyes, though the butterflies in your stomach wake up from their slumber. "How have your Tinder dates been?"

"Oh, uh..." You awkwardly scratch your head. "I deleted my account."

Seokjin laughs out loud. "Oh no! Were the New York guys not cutting it??"

You flush, biting your lip and twiddling with your fingers. He kinda put you on the spot, here. Maybe you should come clean now...? You originally planned to confess at Central Park, but maybe it’s smarter to confess earlier. (That way, if he feels the same you two can have your official first date at Central Park. And if he doesn't feel the same way, the two of you can go home before visiting Central Park to avoid awkwardness. It's a master plan!)

"Well, I wouldn't know," you shrug coolly. "The only New York guy I had sex with turned out to be a Californian dude in disguise," you giggle. "And... I just didn't find the need to get with other guys."

"Oh?" Seokjin smiles amusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Like, I don't know," you sigh. Your head is jumbled with words you've recited and also the words that you just thought of to string together. Your chest feels heavy and your stomach twists in knots but you force yourself to follow through. With a deep breath you let it all out: "I guess like I've had a teensy weensy crush on you since like the moment we met," you start slowly, carefully. "And I'd uh, I'd like to officially date you, if you, like, feel the same way as me..." you trail off, looking at Seokjin to figure out if his initial reaction would give away his true feelings toward you.

But to your utmost relief, he grins. That's a good sign—it has to be!

"Y/N..." he smiles. "Five. Again! In twenty seconds this time! One 'like' in every four seconds. You're slowly getting rid of your SoCal dialect, look at that!"

When Seokjin sees the unamused look on your face, he throws his head back and laughs. "I was just teasing you, love," he says. "You know, I deleted Bumble the day I met you in person?"

"Really?" you squeal, turning to Jin with such high velocity that you almost spill your hot chocolate. Your insides melt, and your head repeatedly echoes the way he had called you 'love.' You feel faint.

"Yeah," Jin says. "So we're official, aren't we?"

"Hell yes!" you say.

"Our first date is at Central Park," Jin laughs. "This was the best timing ever. It's even in the summer. You know, when everyone scrambles to find love. We don't have to look anymore!"

You snort, linking your arms together and leaning onto Seokjin—who just now became your boyfriend. "I still can't fucking believe it's summer," you sigh, shaking your head. "Like dude, it's so fucking cold that I'm drinking hot chocolate!"

"Oh!" Seokjin exclaims. "Right! The hot chocolate?"

"What?"

"Open the lid, please," he grins. "A pleasant surprise will be waiting for you."

Carefully, you do as he says, only to find the white cream on the hot chocolate to be shaped into a sort-of mangled heart. You gasp, staring at the heart in utter shock. "Were you going to ask me out today??"

"You beat me to it," Jin laughs. "Saved me the trouble, love."

The butterflies in your stomach flutter about every time he calls you that (which was only two times so far, but still).

"We're really meant to be, then," you giggle.

"Like, we really are."

Seokjin taught you many things. How to be a good New Yorker without even being a native. How to hail a taxi gracefully. How to get a seat on the Subway. How to order the best pizza pie ever. And most of all, he taught you commitment.

Never have you been this committed to a man in all your life. That being said, you've only lived for nineteen years. But then again, it's hard to change your habits of being finicky with guys in your high school years. Yet they're changed now.

You've said goodbye to Tinder, to hookups, to meaningless sex. You've said hello to your boyfriend, to continue your pursuit of business management, to navigate around New York.

July becomes your favorite month quite easily when you realize it is possible for New York to have hot weather too. You bring out your short skirts and tank tops and have a fashion show every day choosing which outfits to wear. (Seokjin becomes your personal outfit-picker against his will.)

You have to say, New York isn't so bad. You haven't really missed California at all for a while.

"You know," you tell your boyfriend as he braids your hair for you so you can complete your outfit of the day with a stylish, “effortless” side braid.

"Hm?" Jin answers, his tongue peeking out of his lips from hard concentration.

"I think I'm getting used to this place," you say, turning around to smile at your boyfriend.

Seokjin laughs, tying your braid in place before leaning in to kiss your lips. "Finally!" he says between small pecks. "It took you awhile."

"Oh, come on. It didn't take me that long. It hasn't even been a year yet!" you protest. "I love New York. Honestly!"

Your boyfriend smiles. "When do you think you'll start to talk in a New York accent?"

"Never!" you say. "I'm keeping my 'likes' and 'dudes,' thank you! I have to keep some part of my Californian self."

"Oh, trust me," Seokjin snorts. "You will never lose the fashion-crazed part of you. Please don't make me fly on a plane to go to Coachella."

"Damn, you know me too well," you huff. "Fine. No Coachella. But I want to take you down Hollywood one day. Or at least Urth Cafe. No, holy shit, I need to take you to the beach! Or In-N-Out! There are so many places to go in LA! I'll be the best tour guide ever, Jin!"

"Aw, love," Seokjin says, nuzzling your nose against his. "I can't wait for my tour in the Golden State with my native Californian girlfriend."

"I can't wait either!" you giggle, kissing his lips while placing your hands against his soft cheeks. "I had the wonderful experience of getting my own, personal native New Yorker tour guide, so it's only fair I let you on a tour around my home state too!"

"We'll go during winter break, how's that?" Seokjin says. "We can celebrate Christmas in California."

You grin. "It'll be a tropical Christmas. You up for that?"

"I'm down!" Seokjin says. "I've never lived through a hot winter before. I'll have to see all the rave about California myself."

You wink at him. "You'll love it. Like, really, really love it."

"If I don't, you have to try pineapple pizza pie," Seokjin says. "Bet."

"Oh, you're on!"

All too soon, summer is over and the fall season creeps upon you and the rest of New York City. The freezin' season is back and ready to haunt you and turn your mornings into motherfucking abominations.

Except, it's not as cold as you last remember it. Maybe this year's winter in New York will be warmer for whatever reason. Or maybe it's because Seokjin always does a great job of keeping you warm when it's cold. (You definitely think the latter is the true answer.)

Because with Seokjin, even waking up on Mondays at 8 in the cold fucking morning isn't so abominable after all.

masterlist

[nellied-reviews]

Cigarette Candy Re-listen

Okay, it’s episode 5 of my epic Wolf 359 re-listen, and that can only mean one thing: 

Cigarette Candy

In which Eiffel is ill, Minkowski and Hera are out of the picture and I have way too many thoughts about how Hilbert is totally not making Eiffel sick. Nuh-uh.

Where do I even begin with this episode?

Maybe I'll start with the obvious: Cigarette Candy is a very different episode on a re-listen. It was a sinister, tense episode to begin with, sure. But knowing that Hilbert really has been making Eiffel sick adds a whole layer of uncertainty, for me at least.

Because what is the point? Largely, I think it's an episode about whether or not Hilbert can be trusted. We heard last episode, after all, that the good doctor was  willing to leave Eiffel to die in space. It's natural that we might now wonder where his loyalties lie. And so we get this, an episode that teases us with the idea that Hilbert might, in fact, be a bad guy. And of course, the answer we are left with, at the end of the episode, is that no, Hilbert’s creepy and weird and a million kinds of unethical, but ultimately he is one of the good guys.

It's a brilliant misdirect, and it relies entirely on us misunderstanding what an evil Hilbert would look like. We, like Eiffel, assume that Hilbert, if he were actually evil, would be the archetypical mad scientist. And mad scientists aren't generally subtle. They certainly don't do regular things like help Communications Officers overcome the flu. And so we assume, since Hilbert isn't cartoonish in his villainy, and does, ultimately, help Eiffel, that he mustn't be a villain at all. We're wrong, of course. The episode doesn't give that away, though. 

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Because as Cigarette Candy starts, it's not immediately clear that that's where this is all going. Instead, we tune in to a weirdly happy Eiffel, who claims he's trying a new, more optimistic approach to life. It's odd, and doesn't exactly bode well, especially with the occasional, gross coughing that Eiffel insists is no big deal. But it still feels like a light-hearted, comedy set-up. And hey, at least Hilbert seems to be doing something helpful, this time, right?

Of course, it's worth mentioning that Hilbert's "help" involves the titular cigarette candy, which are what Eiffel calls his nicotine lozenges. These, we quickly learn, are the reason for Eiffel's new, sunny outlook on life. They're sugary, they're soothing and - oh, yeah - they taste like "day-old ashtray". Which... eww!  But apparently Eiffel prefers that to the default cinnamon? Enough that he's consuming them in unwise quantities? I don't know, it certainly wouldn't be my choice. But you do you, Eiffel.

In any case, it leaves us in this weird situation where Hilbert is actually in Eiffel's good books, which is fun to listen to, until the doctor suddenly lets slip that hey, Eiffel, it's strange how you aren't experiencing any myalgia... yet.

It's super unsubtle, and part of me really wants to believe that Hilbert did it on purpose, just to troll Eiffel. "English such inelegant cudgel of a language", my ass. I see you there, Doc.

Funny as it is, though, it also marks the point at which the episode takes a sharp U-turn into psychological and medical horror, as Eiffel slowly begins to suspect that Hilbert has been poisoning him. Things only get worse when Eiffel faints and is taken to sickbay, and when Hilbert admits that he's not really a proper doctor, bound by all of those pesky ethics, it's downright chilling.

One phrase in particular, I think, tells us everything we need to know about Alexander Hilbert's motivations: "Always saw Hippocratic Oath as leaving one with a very limited scope. True science mustn't be so severely hindered." Hilbert, in the end, is all about the science, and he'll break the rules to get results, if needs be. It's a single-minded, pragmatic focus that we’ll see from the doctor over and over again as the show wears on. Here, then, although we don't know it yet, we're actually getting our first proper insight into what makes Dr. Hilbert tick. Pretty neat.

That said, on a first listen-through, before we learn about Decima, it just sounds like your standard mad scientist rant. It's followed up by some more mad scientist antics too, as Hilbert confines Eiffel to sickbay, ties him up and claims total authority over Eiffel's schedule, cutting him off completely from Hera and Minkowski. It's textbook nefarious, and so it sets Hilbert up perfectly as a properly sinister, if slightly cliché villain.

Of course, it's also just about plausible. We can just about see how confining Eiffel might help him get better soon, and we can just about see that he's not fit to be working, and we can just about see how a lack of distractions might be helpful. Add Eiffel's potential delusions into the mix, and we can see how the whole business could just be a misunderstanding, a product of Eiffel's fever and Hilbert’s lack of people skills. We can't 100% write the doctor off as a villain - and so the episode manages to maintain the tension, all the way through the back end of the episode. Is Hilbert really as evil as he seems? Or is Eiffel imagining it all? 

It's at this point that the first season's log format works in our favour, because if we're only hearing the personal logs of Douglas Eiffel, we're only getting the story from one very limited, potentially delusional point of view. We aren't getting Minkowski or Hera's more balanced perspectives, and so the suspense is preserved - is Hilbert trustworthy? We can't know. It's the sort of thing the show won't be able to do as easily in later seasons, at least not without finding a plot-related reason to side-line the other, more objective characters. Here, though, the nature of Eiffel's logs creates a more claustrophobic, tense bottle episode, where we can never quite be sure what's going on.

The absence of Hera and Minkowski is also ominous in and of itself. The pause after Eiffel calls out to Hera and she doesn't answer, in particular, is really eerie, at least for me. I don't know, I guess I'm just used to Hera being there?  It certainly cranks up the tension, especially when Hilbert foils Eiffel's attempt to contact Minkowski, and even more so when he reveals that he also knows that Eiffel hasn't been taking his drugs - that's why he's been giving him them intravenously.

And look, I know we've said that Hilbert isn't bound by the Hippocratic Oath. Being shady and unethical's kind of his thing. But can we just stop and appreciate just how messed up it is to drug Eiffel like this? It's not even like it's the first time this has happened, either. Remember the halothane gas? What we're seeing, in that light, looks more like an emerging pattern - a pattern of incidents where people are messed with, physically or psychologically, without their consent.

It's something we'll see again and again, throughout Wolf 359, and more often that not, it's linked less to individuals like Hilbert, and more to Goddard Futuristics, and their general ethos of dehumanising callousness. Hilbert is possibly evil, sure. But he's backed up by a whole, sucky-ass corporation, who have created an environment where consent - and all of the respect for human dignity and life that that implies - is not encouraged or valued. It's a gross, corporate attitude that is linked directly to moments like this, where Eiffel can be drugged and held captive against his will precisely because Hilbert knows there will be no official consequences for it. Goddard Futuristics do not care about human minds or bodies. They just care about the profits. It's not the same thing that drives Hilbert, as a character. But it aligns with his goals. Hilbert wants answers. Goddard wants money. Neither care much for actual humans.

That's actually one of the most frightening things about this episode - that, and the recording that Eiffel makes for Minkowski, urging her not to trust Hilbert once he's dead, which is funny, in a dark sort of way, until you think about Lovelace's old crew, and how Dr. Hilbert - sorry, Dr. Selberg - picked them off, one by one. That's essentially the exact same scenario that Eiffel's imagining here, when he worries about Hilbert going after Minkowski next, so perhaps he's not too far off the mark. Yikes.

Still, all is well in the end, as Hilbert reveals that Eiffel is cured! The knife was only for cutting Eiffel's restraints - way to not terrify your patient, doc! - and now Eiffel is cleared for duty, effective immediately. Phew!

It's a relief, for Eiffel and for us, and it's very easy to just see it as a heart-warming ending. The mad scientist turns out to be a good guy after all, Eiffel learns a lesson about judging people, and everyone goes back to their routine. Crisis averted. The episode asks, "Can Hilbert be trusted?" The ending tells us that he can. Case closed.

Only it's not that simple, is it? For one, Hilbert admits that Eiffel was infected with a tropical flu from his lab; knowing how much we now know, how likely is it that that "tropical flu" was actually Decima, or somehow Decima-related? In this respect, Hilbert's trustworthiness is actually far from established.

Secondly, though, and perhaps more interestingly, there's also the idea that Hilbert might have genuinely cured Eiffel, but might still be up to no good. A dead Eiffel, after all, means no more Decima research, and that would be a disaster for Hilbert. Keeping the crew alive and healthy is in Hilbert's best interests, and so, to a degree, he is actually trustworthy, or at least reliable. In fact, Hilbert is probably one of the most reliable characters in the series, if only because he can always be trusted to protect his own interests. Unlike the others, whose goals sometimes shift, and whose actions are often determined by their emotions or their underlying characters, Hilbert almost never acts in such a way as to compromise his goals and his work. His focus is single-minded, and it makes him very, very reliable - trustworthy, almost. But good? Ethical? Not so much. It's at best a parody of integrity, a twisted, brutal code that doesn’t care much for other people.

The story, I think, is more interesting for it. Instead of a story about how Hilbert secretly has a heart of gold, we get a more unsettling story about how Hilbert can be relied on, but only to a certain extent. Instead of a story about a good person being good, it's the story of a bad person doing good - and that is infinitely more compelling.

And of course, all this is only really obvious in hindsight. Listening to it blind, we get an episode that is funny, tense and just about the right kind of creepy. It's simultaneously the darkest thing the show has done so far, an excellent black-humour-filled bottle episode and (almost) a heart-warming tale. To have that and all the bonus, retrospective Hilbert characterisation?

*shakes my head*

This episode, man.

 Miscellaneous thoughts:

��I said already but cigarette candy sounds so gross!

Zach Valenti does such a good job of sounding properly, horribly ill throughout this whole episode

"Officer Eiffel, you look terrible." Aww, no need to sugar-coat it, doc!

"You're not making me sick, are you?" "What possible reason could there be for doing that?"  *whistles innocently*

Ugh when Hilbert says "Good night!" like that :O

Heh, the ticking clock in the background when Hilbert gets the kife out is a nice little touch

"Bedside manner is like anaesthetic. It just gets in way of what needs to be done."

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

Levi POV

The M.P expected us to turn Eren in after the failed operation but Erwin apparently had a plan. I woke up and went to the dining hall to find (Y/N) making tea. Just two cups for today. She avoided looking at me. Her eyes were puffy which meant she cried to sleep. I never thought the death of our comrades would make her cry. She didn't seem like someone who would cry about what happened in the past that easily. I didn't want to judge her though because even if I didn't see her get too close to anyone from the team, she still must have cared. 

"Rough night?" I asked her as she set down a cup of tea and some biscuits in front of me. "Yeah. A bit" she answered and took a sip of her own tea. There was an awkward silence between us as I didnt know what to say to her. "I wish I died instead. Things would've been better that way" she murmured again and took a biscuit from the plate. "Don't say that. What happened has happened. We can't change anything and I'm glad that you're alive. You're a big asset to the team" I replied. I knew I was bad at giving condolences to people but this probably was the worst I've ever done. 

"You aren't glad captain. Wouldn't you have preferred it if Petra was alive instead? After all, you were supposed to get married to her. I... I could've saved her you know. But I didn't because I had some personal issues with her. I wasted that one second of advantage that I had over the female titan just because I didn't know which would've been the right decision. The one I made was clearly wrong, by general ethics and also because it caused a lot more trouble for you and uncle Erwin. The most horrible thing about it is that I… I felt relieved that she's out of my way. I regret the fact that my decision made someone lose their child and someone lose their… loved one. What I did is a punishable offence and I would gladly accept my punishment." she said looking down at the table. 

I sighed at that. Of Course she had something to do with this. Someone with her level of skills could've easily gotten out of that situation. 

"(Y/N), I will be blunt with you. What you did was selfish, irresponsible and immature. I won't go on with the ethics here because I personally killed people who had a problem with me back in the underground. However, (Y/N), we are not underground now. We are up here where ethics have value. I personally made some very immature mistakes during my first expedition too, trying to kill Erwin. That got the two people I ever gave a damn about killed. I won't report this to the higher ups because I tried to kill a comrade on my first expedition too due to my selfish whims. However, (Y/N), if anything like this happens again, I won't hesitate to report to Erwin. I care about my comrades and you will have to take responsibility for such actions. The titans are already out to kill us during the expeditions and killing each other won't help humanity or your goals. I won't ask you to be ashamed of what you did. You made the decision and you are owning it. However, I am not proud of what you did. I expected you to be able to keep your personal feelings out of your job. By the way what do you mean by that deal about marriage? Petra had a crush on me but the feeling wasn't mutual. I wish I transferred her to another squad but I can't change anything now. Petra and I weren't supposed to get married. She just ranted about it to her father I suppose so that he could convince me." I said to her in a monotone voice, wondering if that thing about marriage that Petra probably bragged to (Y/N) about made (Y/N) make such a bad decision while her eyes widened.

 "But I saw you two kissing... " she started when I interjected "she just confessed her feelings to me then and kissed me out of nowhere and you opened the door before I could process the whole information and push her off me." I explained. "But she told me you are dating her..." she started again and I interjected again to say "She was bluffing" this time annoyed because she just isn't getting the message. "But why.." she started again and I stopped her again to say, "because I like someone else you idiot! ". 

At this point, she looked like someone punched her in the gut as a flash of regret glinted in her eyes. It passed in mere seconds before she looked surprised at me and asked, "Heichou, don't mind me asking but are you gay? And is that Eren?" The look on my face probably made her understand how ridiculous that theory is. Why did she even assume that? "Sorry for assuming. But if you're not gay, it must be Hanji.." she muttered and I could see a speck of sadness in her eyes. Does that mean she likes me too? 

"Why would I even like that titan loving shitty glasses? She's like a sister." I told her in my monotone voice. "Oh! So, is it someone I know?" she asked me. "You do know that I'm your superior right brat? You shouldn't be asking questions like this." I told her. "You told me that I can trust you. Doesn't that mean you should trust me too? And these trust businesses kinda make us friends right? Since we are trusting each other about things that are personal? And I thought friends talk to each other about stuff like who they are interested in." she told me with a straight face but her voice betrayed her. She was nervous. 

"What's in it for you?" I asked her. She can't know I'm interested in her. "Just curious. I'm not great at making friends and since I happened to make a friend by myself, I just thought I'll try to make a conversation. Sorry for bothering you captain." she muttered, without looking at me. "Look, it's best if you don't know. I like someone I'm not supposed to. If this gets out, both her and my reputation will be on the line." I explained to her with a serious tone. It was the truth. After a pause, she said, "I happen to be in a similar situation" with a smile. She really should smile more often.

(Y/N) POV

I felt like a complete idiot. Of Course Petra lied. It was all sinking in now. I got someone killed because I was a selfish piece of crap. And to add to my guiltiness, she wasn't even with Levi heichou. How could I do this to her? To her parents? "Why the hell are you still alive! Such a burden... Just get out of my house and die somewhere will you?!" I remember a voice shouting at me, a memory of my childhood, a memory from the underground that never left me. Was I becoming like her? That woman who sold me off to that brothel? Was I becoming like my biological mother? That woman broke every promise she ever made to me. Could I live with myself if I became like that? 

I decided not to think more of it because I probably would never be able to look in the mirror and tolerate myself. With that, I stopped thinking about it and just as heichou mentioned that he liked someone, I blurted out that I am in a similar situation without giving it a second thought.

Who was he talking about? That day after looking at Petra kiss heichou, I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for Levi heichou and I don't regret Petra's death because her absence made my insecurities go away. I felt like I'm a monster for thinking that way and cried quite a bit thinking how disappointed my parents could have been, how disappointed everyone would've been in general as I thought about it last night. I also thought that heichou just lost his fiancee and I definitely didn't have a chance because he probably would be too devastated to be with other women.

 Now that I knew the truth, I felt plain guilt, however, as there was the slightest possibility that the girl heichou likes could be me, I didn't have any intention to let go of this chance. "I'll tell you who I like if you tell me about you. That way no one can double cross each other." I said to him. "I don't feel comfortable about telling you who she is." heichou stated, not looking at me. I could see him blushing. It was a sight to see. 

"We could play a game of 5 questions. We will ask each other 5 questions and both can answer as yes or no. Is that okay?" I proposed. I personally always hated this game that Eren and my fellow members of the 104 trainee corps made up but at that moment, I couldn't think of any other way to get heichou to open my mouth. "Isn't that a children’s game?" heichou asked me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, yes but we don't exactly have things to do right now so why not kill time doing this?" I reasoned. "Yeah I guess we do have some time to kill.." he answered, sounding a bit unsure. 

"Do I know her?" I asked. "Yes. And is it a man?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Is she from the 104 training Corps?" I answered and asked again.

 "Yes. Do I know him?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Was she in the top 10 recruitments?" I answered and asked. A blush formed on my face. So he was into someone from our training Corps.. 

He looked away and said, "Yes. Is he from the 104 trainee Corps?" The tension between us increased.

 "No. Was she in the top 3?" I asked not looking at him. If he says yes, it's either me or Mikasa. 

"Yes. Does he happen to be a squad leader?" he asked. His body was tense and he averted his eyes from mine. I did the same since I was too nervous.

 "Yes. Was she in the first position?" I almost whispered. I was speechless. I never thought that slightest hope could become something so big. 

"Yes. Is he the captain of the survey corps?" he asked while running a hand in his hair. His face looked serious. He was interested in me. 

"Yes'' I whispered. I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. I should've felt happy but in reality, I felt terrified. I knew why I felt that way. It's because the reality sunk into me. The world was a cruel place. Bad things happened whenever I believed in people. I wasn't ready to lose him. I didn't know if I ever could be ready for that. He looked at me with wide eyes. I could see the fear in them. He was scared too and I understood why he felt that way. He was right. This was impossible.

Levi POV

Did we just confess to each other? What the hell am I doing? This isn't like me at all. I seriously agreed to play this stupid game those cadets made up just to know who she had feelings for? I knew that if it wasn't me, I would make their life in the survey corps much more hellish than it already is. Now that I know that it's me, it bothered me that I would have to break her heart. 

However, this girl made me make all sorts of bad decisions and I couldn’t even hate her for it. I looked straight at her eyes. She was blushing and her eyes were as terrified and sad as mine. This wouldn't work and she understood it. I was glad that she understood the issue because explaining this would be a big problem. 

The silence was broken by Eren. "Hey (Y/N), you made breakfast?" he asked her cheerfully. (Y/N) muttered a "No" with her usual monotone voice. Eren didn't notice the tention in the room because of how stupid he is as he sat down beside (Y/N). "They are late.." I broke the silence.

 "I can't believe that good-for- nothing Erwin.. Making me wait. The MPs are going to get here first. Most likely.. He's having some trouble taking a shit." I stated which made Eren laugh while (Y/N) remained stoic. She probably still was processing everything. I took another sip of the tea and placed it on the saucer. 

"Heichou, you're pretty talkative today," Eren pointed out nervously. Of Course I was. I confessed to (Y/N) a while back and the situation just got more complicated. I was talking so much because there was too much on my mind. "Don't be stupid. I've always been talkative" I answered instead. 

"Eren" (Y/N) called out, her face looked like it had aged suddenly. I knew that she was about to talk about her contribution to the death of my squad to Eren. She seemed more worried about the squad's death.

 "I could've saved Petra and that would've saved Oluo but I didn't because of my own personal issues. I was wrong to do that. My priorities shouldn't be greater than anyone's life. I need to know if you can forgive me after hearing this." she told him, her voice monotone. 

"(Y/N)... I can't forgive you for the decision you made but, I made a wrong choice too. That was what got you in that situation. It all started from me. Back then, if only I hadn't made the wrong choice things might have been different. Even you were injured..." Eren stated, looking at me at the end.

 "I told you two. No one knows how things will turn out. Stop blaming yourselves for this. It's just how the situation was." I answered, shutting them up. The last thing the survey corps needed right now were soldiers that had regrets. Just then Erwin and the others arrived.

(Y/N) POV

Armin came to a conclusion that Annie could be the female titan. The plan was, when the military police would come to escort us, Eren, Armin and Mikasa would sneak out. They would take Annie to the abandoned underground city in stohess district and fight her there with some other survey corps soldiers and with Eren's titan powers. I was supposed to be with Levi Heichou and Uncle Erwin. Both of us were injured and we weren't allowed to participate in the fight. 

Everything was going according to the plan until there was a lightning and a gust of smoke. We knew the plan had failed. Commander Nile looked surprised and was talking to Uncle Erwin. I looked at Levi heichou. He was staring at the smoke. Suddenly he looked at me and said, "seems like plan A failed. We need to go somewhere safe until the fight is over. Go tell Erwin to make his conversation quick and get moving". " Yes heichou" I replied and went to Uncle Erwin. My mind was still stuck to the conversation we had this morning. Heichou was right. It was impossible. But... If I couldn't have the one I love, I couldn't reach my goal of happiness. In that case, what's the point of being alive?

To be continued... 

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing

[lis-likes-fics]

Ragnarok Rant - Part One

Take off your socks and grab your crocs, it’s gonna be a wet ride.

We’re going to start out with 100 points and see where we end up by the end of this.

On Muspelheim First of all, Thor isn’t funny... or this smart. If he was caught, he’d just destroy the person who captured him and go on with his day like nothing ever happened. He wouldn’t be this logical and stick around, pretending to be bested so he could get answers. So, that -50 points from the score. Let’s see if we end up in the negatives by the end of this.

He is self-centered like this though, so I’ll give +10 points for accuracy. Again, he isn’t this funny. This scene shouldn’t exist because Thor wouldn’t have been caught in the first place. -15 points. Thor is too serious. If he saw a vision of Asgard falling to ruins, he wouldn’t be speaking like it was nothing. Like in Avengers: Age of Ultron, he would have taken the matter seriously and done what he thought would be ‘most logical’ in that pee-wee brain of his. He’s joking around too much and is out of character. -10 points. He is out of character and I actually prefer the brooding Thor over this one. The whole ‘’cause that’s what heros do’ line. Shouldn’t be there because he honestly isn’t as big a hero as others like to believe. -10 points.

The dragon, it’s the dragon. He would have killed the dragon as soon as he’d seen it. Thor would know how because he’d swing that hammer and that dragon wouldn’t stand a chance. So -10 points. So far we are at 15 points.

Skurge Loki is not an idiot, Taika. He would not hire Skurge as the new guard of the Bifrost. Loki would appoint this task to someone who shows to have a strong work ethic and who knows when it’s time to do his job and when it’s okay for him to chill out for a while. He wouldn’t choose an idiot who would use his job to gain the favoritism of the ladies. -50 points for screwing up Loki’s character. Skurge wouldn’t have to run to get to the palace because that’s just inconvenient. Loki would know Thor wouldn’t listen if he did just happen to pop in, so Skurge would have a horse so he could get to and from the palace. -20 points. We are now at -55 points.

Theatre Practice Okay, Loki is not self-centered like this. He may show off as being superior compared to everyone else because of his god title, but he would not write a play for himself. A statue, ofc he would build a statue. But a play is too much, even for him. And another thing. Why would he write into the play that he was a Frost Giant? He was raised to believe that the Jotuns were monsters that should be destroyed if they ever showed even a little bit of hostility. There may be a peace treaty between Jotunheim and Asgard, but that doesn’t mean that they are not still considered enemies. Loki would never disclose the information of him being a child of Jotunheim to the entire realm of Asgard. Ever. He’s too insecure about this fact to do so. -50 points for getting his character wrong.

Another thing, Loki ruled over Asgard peacefully for around two years. He has shown to be a great king and he is still unworthy of the throne? Yeah, right. He’s done a better job at being king than Odin and Thor combined. -20 points.

And the casting for the play. Is Taika even more of an idiot than I thought? Did he even watch Thor: The Dark World? Lady Sif and the Warriors Three were not on Svartalfheim. It was Jane, Thor, Loki, and Malekith and his army. -10 points for wrong information.

I will give points for Loki with his illusions to look like Odin saying ‘Oh, shit’. That was a funny joke and I will give that one to you. +10 points.

Here is some supporting evidence that Thor isn’t that smart. He’s just going to threaten, and possibly kill, his brother just because he’d done something with Odin. Nice job. Thor, you are only supporting my ranting about how you were a terrible brother. But that is for another time and there will be some of this in future sections of this rant. -50 points.

Another -50 points for threatening the life of Loki.

Thor, he did do what you asked, even if it was as Odin. You wanted independence, you didn’t want to rule over Asgard, so Loki left you alone. He didn’t do it to remain his cover either. As he’s said before. Loki never wanted to throne, he only ever wanted to be your equal. So when he leaves you alone like you wanted, you’re going to threaten his life because he ruled why you wouldn’t? Real smart, O Great God of Thunder. -30 points. We are currently at -225 points. You better hope Loki feels like being on his best behavior, that’s the only way you’re getting out of the negatives, Thor.

Midgardians and Sorcerers Here we are on Midgard. Shall I say it again? Loki is not an idiot. He would know better than to just stick Odin, the Former King of Asgard in a retirement home in Midgard. Against what I would have liked Loki to do, he respects Odin too much to put him at such lows. Yes, Odin was a terrible father, but Loki still tried to win his favor, to prove himself to the king. He had to have respected him at least a little bit to want to prove himself to him. -30 points.

Instead of being happy that his brother was alive and well and okay, Thor decides to be mad at him. Loki was presumed dead for two years and you find out he’s alive. The first thing you’re going to do after you had apparently ‘mourned’ him the whole time, is threaten him and emotionally and physically mistreat him? Yeah, I didn’t think so. -40 points.

I will give points for the ‘Jane dumped Thor’ thing. Mutual dumping? Yeah, right. She dumped you, Thor, and you know it. We all know it. It pleases me to know that Thor isn’t doing as well as he appears to be. +10 points. Loki’s reactions to the girls taking a picture with Thor is on point and I applaud you for getting his character right, even if it was just for a moment. Two claps and +10 points.

And Loki is right there. New York is always under attack, hell, the world is always under attack. The New York incident that happened 5 years ago is nothing compared to what they’ve been through and what they will go through. Most people would have learned to forgive and forget, so Loki would have gotten a picture or two in because, come on, look at him. Like those girls would have just passed by him like he wasn’t even there. -5 points.

Thor should know enough about Loki’s magic to know that his magic is green not gold. AS WELL AS HIS EYES THAT ARE GREEN AND NOT BLUE. THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT LOKI MATTERS, TAIKA. THE FANS ARE GONNA COME BEAT YOUR ASS. -20 points. And you were just climbing back up. Aw, too bad. I was being generous, too.

Loki is a great sorcerer who has been practicing magic for centuries. Compared to Dr. Strange who has been practicing magic for one year at the time, Loki beats him, by far. He would not have been falling for 30 minutes because he knows how to get out of situations like this. Think, Taika, think. -20 points.

And why tap the card if you think it’s Loki? Can I just say how dangerous that could have been, seeing as the umbrella is Mjolnir’s disguise. That could have injured Loki if it was actually him and Thor’s just going to tap him like that? -10 points.

I will say you did get character accuracy very close with Dr. Stephen Strange, so I will give you points on for it. Accuracy is key, Taika. Do you research and maybe you’d be able to nail it more often. +25 points.

Thor has killed more than Loki has. There were way less casualties caused by Loki in every movie he has been in than there were by Thor in Thor: Ragnarok alone. -10 points for accusing Loki of being a worst being than Thor.

Meddling with Thor’s hair gives you ten points because it is a sacred thing to him. Thank you for that. +10 points.

Ancient relics destroyed because Thor couldn’t just go to grab Mjolnir instead of summoning him. Have some respect, Thor. -10 points.

‘I have been falling for thirty minutes.’ I’m not doing it. Loki landed face first on the floor in a belly flop at who knows how many miles per hour. He’s lucky he’s a god because that fall would have been fatal otherwise. You’re also lucky you didn’t leave any bruises because that would have lost you more points than I’m about to take away. -40 points for making Loki seem like a lesser being.

Another thing with Loki. He would not immediately go to trying to kill Dr. Strange just because he had been falling for thirty minutes. He’s not impulsive and reckless. In fact, he probably would have applauded Dr. Strange for being able to hold him, the Great Loki, God of Mischief, for half an hour. Dr. Strange and Loki would not have immediately had that impression. So, Loki shouldn’t have his daggers out because that is not how he acts. That’s another forty points because Loki is not hostile like that. -40 points. That’s the end of this section. We are now at -425 points.

Odin I will applaud you on Norway. At least Taika knows enough to pick Norway as the place Odin dies. It shows that he knows something more about Norse Mythology than he has, as it is home of the vikings and, therefore, the Asgardians. +50 points for showing that you care at least a little bit about something seemingly small but big as this detail is.

Even with the mess up with Tom Hiddleston’s contacts, you did do well by Loki with his looks. He looks great, he’s acting as he would, and we fangirls appreciate what you did in this moment. +40 points.

Thor immediately believing Loki would make Odin act this way does not make me in the least bit pleased. Loki isn’t a menace and will never, ever, ever convince m that he is, no matter how much imaginary dirt Taika wants to throw in his face. -10 points because Thor is a gigantic oaf.

I will take it as a compliment when Odin told Loki that Frigga would have been proud of his strong magic. It helps to support that Loki is a very powerful sorcerer and he deserves to be told this, he needs to be told this more often. More compliments, more satisfied fans. +20 points.

So...Odin decides to die the one movie they actually need him? Could you yell terrible father for me? Thanks. -20 points for irresponsible parenting, making your children have to clean up a gigantic mess that you made.

This is a delicate matter that should be treated with the same level of delicacy. Odin tells his sons that he loves them. This is something you would expect if he were saying it to Thor, but to Loki, it is nowhere near right. By the way he has treated Loki through his entire life, it is clear that Odin does not love him. There is no evidence telling you that he does and the only way he could say this is by simply just saying this. There is no proof, no supporting evidence. Odin did not love Loki and for saying that he did is tempting me to take points. Loki’s reaction, however, is spot on. He does not know what love is and, therefore, reacts with such shock and surprise to hear that Odin claims to love him. It seems like one last manipulation Odin makes on Loki before he kicks the bucket and I do not appreciate it.

Let’s recap quickly over all the things done by Odin in the past movies. First, he raises Thor and Loki to believe that they are equals and will one day rule together as great kings, only to give the throne to a greedy and arrogant Thor and tell Loki, the more suitable king, that he is not worthy of the Throne of Asgard. When Loki learns of his true heritage, Odin tries to say that he was just trying to save an innocent child when, in fact, the only reason he saved Loki’s life that day was so have a bridge and a reason to finally make peace with the Jotuns. Odin goes into his Odin Sleep and it leaves the throne to Loki while Thor is banished. To prove himself, Loki tries to destroy Jotunheim and finish the job for Thor, having not been told or convinced that Jotunheim didn’t deserve to be destroyed. Again, Loki was raised to believe the Frost Giants were monsters who needed to be slayed, so destroying Jotunheim didn’t seem like a bad thing, especially when it was Thor doing the destroying. All Thor gets is a slap on the wrist while Loki gets disgraced for attempting it himself. At the end of Thor, when Loki ends up dangling from the Rainbow Bridge, only being held up by the sceptre Thor was holding to save his brother for once, he explains that he was only trying to prove himself as a good king, a good son. Odin decides to disown and disgrace Loki, pushing him to attempt suicide. When Loki is presumed dead for the first time, they throw a party in celebration of Thor and think no further of the Lost Prince of Asgard. That was just one movie.

In Thor: The Dark World, Loki is brought in for his crimes on Asgard after attempting to rule them all because he had been mind controlled by the Mad Titan, Thanos. Instead of questioning his son and giving him the benefit of a doubt, Odin decides to imprison the prince for life so he can rot in a cell and think about what he had done. This, in my opinion and possibly Loki’s as well, was a fate worse than death. While in the prison, Frigga dies and is not told by Odin, and is instead informed by a guard. Hm, something as personal as his beloved mother dying should be told to him by his father, instead by a guard. How wonderful. As a last ‘fuck you’ to Loki, Odin decides to tell him that he loves him. With everything I just explained, these are not actions of a father who loves his son. This is not right in the slightest bit and points will be taken. To show a little bit of mercy, I will be subtracting -70 points from the score.

The storm that rolls over them after Odin’s death is a good way to express Thor’s powers. I will give points for that. +10 points.

However, those points shall be taken for Thor’s immediate accusation at Loki. That is not how he should have done things. -10 points. The points are now at -415. Let’s see what will go on next.

Hela’s Arrival Loki’s change is nice and I love the outfit they have for him. His outfit on Sakaar shall be discussed further into the film. I would take points away from this because of the destruction caused by Thor’s lightning, but I’ll be generous and give the points. +20 points.

Hela’s whole look is amazing and very pleasing. I love how her colors are a nice tip of the hat to Norse Mythology where Hel is Loki’s daughter instead. Her look is wonderful. Her weapon choice and crown is another nice gesture to Loki. Knives and horns. +40 points for good costume choice.

Her kneel bit is also another wonderful choice and Loki’s response is even better. A nice load of points for giving these characters some nice touches. I can never get over this and it deserves the points I’m going to give. +50 points for a wonderful choice of dialogue.

I hate that Mjolnir was sadly destroyed but the idea of Hela still being worthy of him even after all the years since he originally belonged to her is a very good choice. I will not be taking points away for the destruction of Mjolnir, nor will I be giving points for Hela’s worthiness.

Thanks for Loki’s hair flip. +10 points. :)

Loki is not a coward! If he saw that there was danger, he wouldn’t immediately flee. He is self-preservative, not cowardly. It was a reckless choice to have Loki want to return to Asgard to get away from Hela. He would think of all of his options and choose the one that would be the most smart and safe. He wouldn’t risk putting his people in harm’s way by having Skurge bring them back to Asgard, he would find another solution where he and Thor lived and they escaped Hela’s clutches. This was out of character. Taika really thinks Loki’s a coward and he isn’t. He is intelligent and brave. If he ever ran from a fight, it was because he knew he would lose and he needed to find better resources to be able to fight back. He would not run and hide like a baby. He is not a baby. There will be points taken away for making Loki seem a way he isn’t. -40 points. I’m being generous.

That will conclude Part One of my Ragnarok Rant. I will be back soon to continue so that we can see where these points will go.

Starting Point: 100

Total Number of Points Given: +295

Total Number of Points Taken: -750

Total Number of Points: -335

To Be Continued...

[revengeisalwaysanoption]

[Fic] All due respect here... (there's no respect due)

Let’s try one last time... I truly apologise if the cut doesn’t work on mobile, I am posting from my laptop.

Enough is enough, they're right. There’s only so much that can be forgiven, before one’s indulgence becomes a red flag. Loneliness is not an excuse, Martino.

“You need to put your foot down” they keep saying. “You need to draw a line and say: this is unacceptable. If you step over the line once you get a warning, but do it twice and we’re done.”

It's just that… you know… He feels so stupid, now? He has been so blind, so naïve and nearly let himself be played like a fiddle. Hurting those who really care about him, and for what? Approval?

The more he thinks about it, the worse it gets. The signals were all there, for fuck’s sake!

Lulling him into a sense of comradery, that he had been missing ever since his friends from high school had all chosen different paths… Yeah, that’s how it had all started. With him, trying so desperately to fill that void. It hadn’t been as difficult as had imagined to bond over incomprehensible lectures, disgusting coffee and eclectic lifestyles. Francesco had been the first to approach him, complimenting his Apparat-inspired T-shirt and asking where he bought it. It hadn’t seen anything quite like it on the Internet, or he would have remembered! Deciding it was best to weed out the homophobes straight away, Martino told him the truth: it was a gift from his boyfriend. Not quite his usual style, but since it made Nico happy to see him wear it…

“Oh man, you’re so whipped.” Francesco had commented, instead, laughing. “But hey, who am I to judge? I’m actually a bit jealous, you know. No one ever made me something that cool. Do you think I could commission him one?”

Marti did, but he had been wrong. Niccolò wasn’t interested in designing clothes for anyone else, and while he was flattered by Fra’s proposal he would have to turn it down. Not exactly a great start, but Martino didn’t think much of it. This wasn’t kindergarten and surely Francesco wouldn’t hold that refusal against Nico.

Marina had literally saved his life, when he crossed the street and didn’t look as he was in the middle of some lovely banter with Niccolò. In return for her heroic deed, he was bound to treat her to lunch. Or a coffee, at least. The way she delivered that ridiculous request, wiggling her head and biting her lips – like a mischievous child, amused by their own audacity – reminded him so much of a certain someone… that he found himself discussing the top 10 TV shows betrayals of the decade (no! they were never going to forgive D&D for what he had done to Daenerys!) over a cappuccino. She might have been side-eyeing him for checking his phone a little too much, but he didn’t really care.

And then came Lorenzo. Well, it was actually Martino who had reached out to him. Who found him sitting on the floor of a dingy bathroom, crying his eyes out. Years ago, he would have stepped out and let someone else comfort a stranger. But then… Then he though ‘what I was the one sitting there? what if it was Nico? I don’t want to think everyone would just walk away and pretend they didn’t see him…’ and sat down next to him. He didn’t ask if he was okay, when he clearly wasn’t. He didn’t ask why he was so distraught. It wasn’t any of his business, and the question alone would have made this guy feel worse. It was a lesson he had learnt the hard way, through his own experience and Nico’s.

“Oi, you got 2 tens or 4 fives? Some spare coins? I’ve only 20€ in my wallet, and that fucking machine never gives you the right change if you put in more than a 10€ note.”   He had asked, when Lori looked up.

“I… I…” He had said, sniffling. Frantically, he had started looking for the money and seemed truly sorry he couldn’t help Martino out.

“Hey, that’s okay. I’ll manage. So, what can I get you? You look like you could use some hot chocolate, though I’m afraid I can only find vaguely chocolatey-flavored water, around here.”

He didn’t think he would get to meet any of them ever again, and then one day he spotted them all sitting at the same table. It wasn’t like Martino had ever believed in fate, but that did seem like a coincidence straight out from a Norwegian teen drama. A French romance. Not that he had ever watched either of them, of course. An occurrence meant to show him that the universe had plans, for the four of them.

In hindsight, he should have told the universe where he could shove its plans…

For a while, however, Martino thought there could hardly be anybody on Earth who got luckier than him in when it came to friendship. They always knew where to find the next best party but didn’t mind spending a night in, binge-watching the latest trashy show that had been uploaded on Netflix. Playing FIFA. Discussing politics, and even ethics and philosophy when they were more than a little drunk.

Everything changed, however, when things started to get a bit more personal. When they started dispensing details about their crushes, their heartbreaks, and Martino foolishly felt comfortable enough to share more of his life with Nico. Painting quite an idyllic picture, as complaints and rants about his inability to tidy up a room and tendency to zone out when they were discussing financial matters would only ever be disclosed to Giovanni. Nevertheless, to say that they weren’t his biggest fans would be an understatement.

  “Let me guess, it’s Nico. Again.”

 “Okay… So, he can leave on read for hours, but starts panicking if you don’t answer straight away?”

 “He put salt in your coffee because you weren’t paying attention? Is he… like, five or something? But well, if you find that endearing… You do you, man.”

 And it only got worse after they met him, and began spinning a whole other narrative in which Martino was either a hero or a martyr, for ‘putting up’ with Nico.

 “Oh, you're such a great guy not giving up on that.”

 “You sure must love him a lot to endure all of his up and downs.”

He reassured them all, told them that he appreciated the concern but that they barely knew Niccolò so he wouldn’t stand for any further slandering of his boyfriend.

So they laid low, and stayed quiet, for a while. It hurt them to see Martino trapped in what clearly was an abusive relationship, but there was nothing more that could be said or done about it. Whenever Nico was mentioned, they changed the subject.

Until tonight. Asking them both to join them at a party, and then corner him and attempted to stage an ‘intervention’.

Couldn’t he see how possessive and controlling Niccolò was, manipulating Marti into thinking his new friends were out to get him?

 “The two of you, against the world? Doesn’t it sound disturbing to you?”

 “Marti, come on, you have to admit that he has controlling tendencies. He shouldn’t need to know where you are at all times, doing what, with whom. He shouldn’t come up and snatch you away, whenever he notices you spend time talking to the same person for more than 2 minutes.”

 “It’s like he can’t stand not being at the center of your attention 100% of the time.”

How… How dare they? Who the fuck do they think they are?

“Get out of my face, you fuckers. If I hear you badmouthing Nico ever again, you’re gonna regret it.”

Thankfully, they don’t try to stop him when he storms out the room. The last thing he wants is to end up in a fight, and having Niccolò find out it was because of him. It had already happened once, with Malik and his friends, and… No revival of that was needed, thanks.

Little do they know about their late conversations, when Martino had indeed noticed was off with Niccolò and tried to find out how he could help. Because Marti couldn’t relate to the magnitude of Niccolò feelings, sure, but he had been there the year before. When everyone in Uni had seemed far more interesting that a boy who still attended high school…

Niccolò has a jealous streak, sure. That had been clear ever since he put in his pasta. But it wasn’t the ugly side of jealousy, stemming from a warped sense of ownership over him. It was more like… Feeling like he didn’t matter, of maybe being interest enough to catch someone’s attention but lacking in keep them entertained. Which in turn made him petty, vindictive, clingy. It was only a matter of time before Martino would agree with those guys, and leave him for good.

Marti tapped Nico's skull, then, and said to his brain "Stop with this bullshit. Stop making my boyfriend suffer, you asshole. You know nothing, zero, zilch, nil, nada. You're worse than Jon Snow.” He bent down to kiss his heart, and went on with "You, on the other hand… You know Nico's the best thing that has ever happened to me and that I'd be a fool not to cherish it. So what if he’s got some flaws? Who cares? Not me. One thing matters and it’s this: no else compares. So yeah, tell him he shouldn't worry: I'm not going anywhere."

"Ever?" He mumbled, not quite ready to believe Martino.

"Kim Jong-un, Nico. Remember?"  Marti reminded him, smiling as he stroked his cheek.

"Right. How could I forget King-Kong-Là…" That made them both laugh, and they decided not to discuss the matter any further. They were far more pleasurable ways to spend their night together…

So yeah, screw them. Screw everyone who overanalyzes every little thing Niccolò does, who is always ready to point the finger at him and say that Martino deserves better.

Of course he does, duh. Better friends, for a start.

*********************** All due respect here... There's no respect due. So fuck you and you, and you and you. You're cool, but fuck you... And I'm out of here. (Swear Jar, Illy)

[theysaywhatasadsight]

The Perils of Love

A/n: A short imagine for @bucky-smiles ‘s bollywood writing challenge, my prompt was this song . This one was beta read by @nasarogers and @mcuspidey and @thebookwormslytherin

"So then, obviously, she smacks him because what else is she gonna do? Here the idiot is trying to woo her and she's trying to get funeral arrangements for her hamster ..." her hands waved about, bangles jangling. Almost every session went like this, an hour and a half where they would actually study and the last 30 minutes spent discussing random things. Y/N sighed and closed her notebook. "I fucking hate maths. Or anything that has both numbers and letters. Who thought it was a good idea, anyway?"

Peter didn't feel mentioning his fondness for algebra would win him any points from Ms. Liberal Arts. When initially she had approached him, asking for help studying maths, he had been confused as to why a photography major needed it. She had muttered darkly that she held the same beliefs.

He wasn't complaining, though. The only class they shared was the one subject she detested, but atleast he got to see her instead of his stupid textbooks.

Peter had tried to resist, of course, devoting his attention to getting a degree and a job (though his mentor had already promised him one, he didn't want to look undeserving of it) but the force that was YN YLN was unstoppable when it came to convincing. 

Resist why, someone might ask. Studying with a pretty, intelligent girl had to have some benefits, right?

Benefits only if someone enjoyed longing and heartache, as if wishing for something that was forbidden. Nothing quite as dramatic as disapproval from anyone or interruptions in studies, it was clear that she wasn't very interested in him aside from as a study partner.

He had zoned out while she was playing with her phone, thinking about how patrols and studying had ripped away any hopes of sleep from him, when she looked up at him.

"I should go, right? Ugh, I hate doing this to you, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, uh, I was-uh not that you need to apologise- I think you, uh don't need my help anymore…"

She looked confused. "I-What?"

"I think we shouldn't study together anymore."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not you, it's me."

"What the fuck?" She was plain pissed now. Snatching her books back, she stood, frowning. "Thanks for the help, I guess." And stormed away before he could say anything. 

Head in his hands, he decided to call Tony.

~

"So you like this girl, and she asks you to help her study and then you decide to break it up...why?" Tony sounded sleepy and confused.

"Shit, is it 2 already? I thought you were awake." He deflected the question.

"You know I stay awake until 3, Pete. And answer the question. Why did you end it?"

"I-just, I don't know. This just friends thing is killing me."

"Then ask her out?"

"I'm telling you, she's definitely not interested."

Tony, reading a magazine of Pepper's while she slept beside him, smiled at his son's words, mirroring those he had confessed to Rhodey some odd 15 years ago. "And how do you know that?"

"Because...well leave it. I should probably go on patrol anyway."

"Sent a suit out. Get some sleep, kiddo, I can hear your yawning from here. And stop drinking that damn coffee, you'll ruin your sleep."

"I'm not as old as you, remember?"

"Oh yeah? Tell you what, I'll come visit on Saturday and we'll see who looks more dead. And don't worry about the girl, okay? Just don't be a dick. Don't tell your aunt I said that."

~

YN asked him to coffee once to just talk, after class ended, but he refused, pleading a test in Chemistry. She pursed her lips and said nothing. 

As she walked away, all of his row turned to stare at him. Ever since they had started studying together, he had been the envy of almost every idiot there, some whispering nefarious rumours over his and her intentions. 

"Did you two break up?" One of them whispered.

"You seem quite interested?" He whispered back, making all of them turn back to packing their things up.

She tried talking to him again when she ran into him in the hallway, but he got away citing a class he was late to. 

Irritated, YN stormed up to his dorm, murder written on her face. His floormates, who liked to tease them normally, were scarce, probably terrified. 

She knocked thrice at the door, jaw tight. At the lack of response, she knocked again. She fished out her phone from her jeans, cursing the company for making it so tight and herself for wearing it instead of her normal leggings. She called Peter again, determined to talk.

~

"So yeah, Vogue didn't exactly cover all the angst of the relationship. Jesus, half of it they made up." Tony sat on the bed while Peter lounged on the chair, poor posture and leg resting on the table. He merely hummed. While Tony's advice was great, he wasn't sure he really understood the situation.

"I just-you knew at some level Pepper would be willing to get with you, right? I don't think that's the case here."

"Shall I tell you a secret? No girl is willing to study a subject she hates, that too without break, for only passing a subject. Just so you know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have cooking duty today." Stark got up, stretching. "I really do feel dead, wow." 

Peter rolled his eyes but got up to drop Tony off. They both heard the knock at the same time. It rang three times, and after a gap, again. He checked his phone, which showed missed calls from the girl he was dreading to talk to.

~

The door swung open and she was greeted by a face she'd only seen on TV. Tony Stark smiled at her, muttering an excuse me, walked away whistling. She tilted her head and looked at Peter, who had gotten up to close the door.

"Mind if I come in? Can I distract the scholar for two minutes?" Her voice was sugary sweet but her eyes betrayed her frustration.

"Sure, come on in." He opened the door fully. She came in, slamming it shut. She thrust the tiny tetrapack container she held towards him. Twisting it, he saw it was a juice box. Peter raised a single eyebrow.

"Since you want to act so childish." She snarked, stabbing a hole in her own capri sun. "You must be getting such good grades now that you're not studying with me."

"That's not the thing…" he looked away.

"Eye contact, please."

"Look, this just friends thing. I can't do it. I legitimately cannot. First of all, I hate maths, and second, even if I didn't, I can't focus on anything but you. Anytime you tell me about how cute that guy in psych is or how that girl in ethics helped you I actually go ballistic. Totally creepy, I know. I want you to be my girlfriend, but since that is not possible. That goddamn mole on your chin keeps following me, and I just wanna kiss you-" he was interrupted in his rant by her lips on his. 

3 seconds later, she broke away, smiling from ear to ear. Peter was still in shock, made catatonic by the fact that YN HAD JUST KISSED HIM.

Before he could say anything, she was kissing him again, dragging him forward by the shirt.

~

Patting his pockets, Tony checked for his wallet to pay for the can from the vending machine when he realised he'd probably left it behind, showing Peter a photograph of Pepper he carried that was so old, it was ripping at the edges.

"Fuck." He turned around, hoping the kids wouldn't be fighting. He had enough white hairs trying to break up Morgan's kindergarten fights. No one had warned him kids would be so much trouble.

Except Pepper, of course. She really was the best.

~

Their fervent making out was interrupted by the door swinging open, Tony's voice drifting into the room.

"You seen my wallet? Can't lose that photo… Ms.Potts made sure every other copy was destroyed, I swear the woman is more vain than me-OH MY GOD OKAY I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT." 

YN, turning around to lash the person interrupting with her fiery tongue tripped and fell when she saw who it was, dragging Peter, who she held by the shirt, down with her. They landed in a heap on the floor.

Tony grabbed his wallet, put a finger on his lips and walked away, closing the door behind him.

"Wanna get that coffee now or…?"

"I may have another capri sun. I'm too embarrassed to go out now."

YN laughed and pecked him on the cheek. 

[clearcorona]

late evenings // aizawa shouta x gn!reader

Not sure how I feel about this one, but I wanted to get it out of my drafts anyway.

Part Two

Dating a hero was hard, but Aizawa cherished his hero work and if he was happy, you let him be. Of course you were worried about every little injury, but that was only natural. He made sure to give you updates whenever he was going to be home late, but his responses were dwindling down to a few words. Of course you were running the possibilities of what could happen in your mind.

You stared at your phone for what felt like hours, waiting for his response, that you never got. Your heart pounded in your chest and you nibbled on your bottom lip, wondering what could've happened.

Your thoughts kept you awake and alert, switching through news channels to see if anything would pop up about your tired boyfriend. Of course, you weren't really surprised when nothing showed. Aizawa wasn't a flashy hero and preferred to stay away from cameras, meaning if something did happen, it would probably be a lot harder to figure out.

Despite that, fear made you continue to switch through the channels. That was until you heard a key being pushed into the lock of the front door. It was then opened, revealing your raven haired boyfriend. He barely spared you a glance, shedding his day clothes off as he made his way to your shared bedroom.

You were relieved that he was okay, no injuries littering his body from what you could see, but frustrating washed over you after not receiving a getting from him. You shut the TV off and turned the lights off, walking into your bedroom.

"Shouta, why-" you stopped yourself and frowned. You couldn't finish your rant because he was fast asleep. A sigh left your lips and you climbed into bed beside him, trying to just feel glad that he wasn't dead. You cuddled up against him, tucking your head underneath his chin. "G'night, Shouta."

~

You woke up the next morning to your blaring alarm and an empty bed and frowned, knowing you were gonna have to leave your rant session about what happened the night before for later that night. Sparing a glance at your phone, you groaned and reached over, turning it off. You knew you'd have to get up at that moment so you'd make it to work on time. Your relationship may be suffering slightly, but you weren't going to let it affect your work ethic.

Getting out from under the covers was the worse part, but you knew that it had to happen eventually. After changing into regular clothes, you stepped into the kitchen to make yourself some breakfast. You glanced at your phone every so often, expecting a text from your boyfriend or something.

Instead you got just the opposite: silence.

A sigh left your lips and you felt your appetite leave you, pushing away the food, but taking a few sips of coffee so you were more awake. You then grabbed your stuff and headed out.

~

The same routine happened for the next few days and you were starting to get tired of it. You barely even had time to greet Aizawa when he got home from a long day of heroing. Even before he started avoiding your calls and texts, he seemed to be growing a bit distant. He got home, went straight to bed, and was out of the house before you woke up in the morning. You couldn't take it anymore and you needed to put an end to it.

The minute that door opened, you pounced, knowing you needed to get to the bottom of this.

"What are you doing, (Y/N)?" he asked, looking more exhausted than ever, but you weren't going to let him sleep until you got answers.

"Why haven't you been texting me? Hell, you could at least leave me a note or something," you replied, watching as the tired man dragged his hand across his face.

"(Y/N), I'm busy. I can't always be here when you want me to be."

"You don't seem to understand what this does to me! That night when you left home those few days to go on a mission, I thought you died! No calls, no texts, and you come home without giving me any explanation."

"You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into."

"We made a deal. I told you that I wouldn't interfere with your work if you made sure to let me know if you'd be late and that you were okay. You broke your end of the deal!"

"I can't deal with this right now," he muttered and you scoffed, wondering if he was actually taking this seriously.

"I can't believe you. You know what? I can't deal with this right now either," you snapped and Aizawa realized then that he had made a serious mistake. He had never seen you so angry before. You were usually so calm and collected, it caught him off guard.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, watching as you pulled a sweatshirt over your head and grabbed a duffle bag, shoving everything you needed into it.

"Away from you," you spat and he made his way over, grabbing your wrist. "Let go of me!"

"(Y/N), you're making a mistake. Please, just stop overreacting."

"I'm overreacting? Are you kidding me, Aizawa?!" He flinched at the use of his last name, having not heard you call him that in forever. "I believe this is a perfectly rational response! If you can't see where I'm coming from, I think we should just be done. It's not the first time it's happened either, and until you get your shit together and act like you really care about how I feel, stay the hell away from me!"

"(Y/N), please, I-"

"You know, I didn't care that you were a hero when we met. I didn't care about what I'd be putting myself through by being with you, because I loved you. You obviously don't seem to care about how worried I get and when I try to ask you about it, you push me away!"

"Just listen to me, please!" Aizawa spat, getting sick and tired of every verbal blow. He knew it was his fault, but if you would just let him speak, he would try to make you understand.

"No! You want to talk now after days of not speaking to me? I'm sorry, but I can't do this anymore. If you can't treat me like your partner, I think we should just end things here." You slung your bag over her shoulder and walked over to the door, shoving your feet into a pair of sneakers. "Have a good night, Aizawa." He clenched his fists as the door slammed shut behind you.

"You should've just let me speak...," he muttered to himself, the apartment you two once shared feeling much more empty now that you were gone. A sigh left his lips and he pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket, revealing a simple but elegant ring. "Dammit..."

[missjanjie]

Branjie Fic | Bad Girls Club (6/?)

Title: Bad Girls Club Summary:  Los Angeles’ new program, the Juvenile Female Rehabilitation Program (JFRP) was created with the purpose of taking at-risk girls in the county and send them to a summer-long program located where a sleepaway camp once stood. There, they will take classes in ethics, behavior, and other courses to help mold these young minds. Brooke Lynn and Vanessa have been sent there for wildly different reasons, but with the same result - a clean permanent record. Being roomed together, the pair might find an unlikely alliance (and maybe more) in each other. Word Count: ~2.9k (this chapter)/~16.1k (total) Relationship: Branjie (Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo) Rating: E

Read on AO3

[June 6th, 2018]

“Tradition or not, this shit gonna get our asses busted one of these days, and I don’t know about y’all, but I’m trynna haul ass outta this zip code as soon as I can.”

“God, who invited Captain Buzzkill?” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “You as fucked up as we are, Silk. So, shut up and grab a box.” She passed a box of snap poppers to Silky and A’keria and kept one for herself. Glancing over her shoulder, she opened hers up and took one of the small, wrapped spheres between her thumb and finger. “On three.”

In stage whispers, the three girls counted down from three before throwing the little balls at the stairs of their high school, giggling as the loud snaps filled the otherwise quiet night – well, quiet for that part of town, anyway. Despite the complaints, it was still one of their most cherished traditions, dating back to eighth grade when they set off the poppers at their middle school the night after the last day, ringing in the start of the summer.

The girls were so caught up in their celebration that they failed to notice the police officer walking up behind them until he cleared his throat to get their attention.

“Seriously, you guys?” He pinched the bridge of his nose as the three teenagers scrambled upright in a haphazard (and fruitless) attempt to save face. “Alright, you know the drill. Davenport, Ganache, Mateo, into the car.” And they were left with no option but to comply.

While the process was always the same, the outcome varied based on multiple factors – the type of crime, the time of day, whether or not Officer Watts was fighting with his wife – but everything was added to the books, so to speak. Tonight, it just seemed like he couldn’t be bothered to do more than go through the motions, bringing each girl home and walking them to the door, so their guardians knew just where they’d been.

Vanessa was the last stop and the officer dropped her off to her mom with the repeated normalcy as any sort of scheduled custody exchange. “Say hi to Kimberly and the kids for me!” she called out as Officer Watts returned to his patrol car.

“Don’t try to buddy your way out of this, Vanessa. I’m getting real tired of this bullshit.” Her mother’s tone was as sharp as her glare, punctuated by the sound of the door slamming shut. “I see that police car come down this block more often than the ice cream truck! It’s like you’re not even trying to better yourself.”

“Better myself?” Vanessa scoffed and rolled her eyes. “What is this, My Fair Lady?” She calmed herself as quickly as she had snapped. “Sorry, sorry… but I promise we ain’t done nothing wrong, just hanging out.”

“Hanging out doesn’t get you brought home in a cop car. Don’t you ever stop and think about your future? How you gonna apply to college with a permanent record like that?”

The sudden silence that followed filled the room with a solemn sense of unease. Vanessa sat down on her couch and picked her dog up onto her lap. “Can we stop pretending I got a chance of going to college, Mom? We both know I’m not cut out for that.”

Her mother’s expression softened as she sat beside her on the couch. “Mija, I wish you could see the potential in yourself that I see in you.” She wrapped her arm around her and held her close. “You are not a lost cause, and I’m not giving up on you.”

[Present Day]

“Do you think prison’s actually like Orange is the New Black?” Vanessa asked, her gaze drifting from A’keria to the grass beneath her, ripping a handful of it from the ground and aimlessly scattering the blades.

A’keria quirked her brow. “Why you worried about it? The whole point of this shit is us getting clean records, so we don’t go to prison.” After a moment, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “Is this about the whole prison wife thing you think Brooke Lynn was talking about?”

Vanessa looked away as she answered. “No…” She chewed on her lip. “Not just her. You really think this shit is gonna stick? That we’re gonna go to college and get on the dean’s list or some shit? This whole thing is just so they can pass the blame onto us when we fuck up and land in jail for real.” As she finished her rant, she noticed the expression on her friend’s face. It wasn’t quite anger or sadness, but it made her chest tighten. “What?”

“I just didn’t think you, of all people, would give up on yourself.”

“I’m not!” she quickly defended. “I’m just being realistic.”

A’keria turned and cornered her into eye contact. “Are you? Or are you setting yourself up for failure on purpose, so you don’t have to get out of your comfort zone?”

Vanessa huffed and crossed her arms. “Since when are you into psycho-ana…psych-analy-a…” She gestured vaguely. “You know, dissecting my brain and shit.”

“It don’t take fuckin’ Einstein to know you’re being ridiculous. Look, I’m not saying I’m not gonna drink or smoke or do hoodrat shit after this, but we got a chance at actually having futures. And if you’re gonna sit and act like none of this ever happened when we get back home, you’re a hugehypocrite for being mad at Brooke Lynn for wanting to go back to the good life she had.”

It was rare for Vanessa to be at a loss for words, but she had no way to argue what had been said. It would be a conscious choice to go back home and get in trouble again, and she would be disappointing everyone that cared about her. So, maybe she couldn’t fault Brooke for longing to escape from this situation, but it didn’t resolve how she felt about her or even in general. She lay down on the ground and stared off into space while the sun warmed her skin. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

She nodded slowly. “I knew it would come back to that. You give so much of your heart so easily, Vanjie. You set yourself up to get hurt. Hell, you might still have a shot with her if you actually stop and think about what you say instead of shooting off at the mouth.”

Vanessa pushed herself back up, shaking her head. “Nah, not with how I’ve been. She probably thinks I’m psycho now.”

A’keria shifted to her side to properly look at her. “You won’t know if you don’t talk it out. Just… Don’t slip back into your old habits.”

“What old habits?”

“Really, bitch?”

[September 3rd, 2018]

“Okay, the suspense is killing me, so I’ll bite. What the hell is wrong with Vanjie?”

Silky rolled her eyes before looking in Vanessa’s direction. Their friend was sat at the other end of the lunch table, pouting with her arms crossed, but also looking sincerely solemn and crestfallen. “Oh, that girl she been hooking up with all summer dropped her ass ‘cause she has a boyfriend.”

A’keria let out an exaggerated groan. “I told her. Didn’t I tell her? I said, ‘watch yourself with her, she ain’t in it for the long haul,’ right to her.” She sighed and shook her head, deciding to save the well-earned ‘I told you so’ for later. For now, she needed to be a comforting friend. “Alright, c’mere baby. It’s gonna be okay,” she soothed and wrapped an arm around her.

“She got me fucked up, man,” Vanessa’s voice trembled as she spoke. “She really went and said she ‘never felt like this before’ and now she’s gonna act like I don’t exist. Who does that shit?”

“Straight girls,” Silky chimed in, which got a small laugh out of Vanessa – much to both of her friends’ relief.

With the tension lifted – at least for the moment – Vanessa pushed herself up to her feet. “I’m not gonna stay stressing over this, okay? I’m good, fuck her and her greasy-ass boyfriend.” And with that, the school bell rang, and they were all off to class.

Silky walked with A’keria, trailing a few steps behind Vanessa. “Do you actually think she’s done stressing over this?”

“Not a chance.”

Much to their chagrin, A’keria ended up being proven right not a full three days later.

All it took was one house party with just enough alcohol and Vanessa was making out with her summer fling off in a corner. She had one hand up the back of the girl’s shirt, the other tangled through her hair – it was as if nothing had changed at all.

Until it did, ten minutes later.

“Where are you going?” Vanessa asked, not about to be left high and dry without putting up a fight. “It was just getting good,” she added with a discontented huff.

“My boyfriend’s here,” the ex answered in a calloused tone, reapplying her lipstick without looking in Vanessa’s direction. She fluffed up her hair and sauntered off, wrapping her arms around some lanky, awkward looking guy and effectively acting as though Vanessa ceased to exist.

A’keria got up to collect her friend. “This time I’m not holding back the ‘I told you so.’”

[Present Day]

“Are you still giving me the cold shoulder?”

Vanessa shrugged it off. “There’s a lot worse I could be giving you. Don’t push it.”

Brooke Lynn sighed and pushed herself to sit up on her bed. “Baby, I can’t fix anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” She pouted and reached out to grab Vanessa’s hand, swinging it slowly.

This wasn’t fair as far as Vanessa was concerned. How was she supposed to maintain her tough resolve when Brooke was giving her puppy dog eyes and a soft, pink pout? Her weakness was being used against her – it had been at least two days of freezing her out and she had been starting to get lonely anyway. She bit down on her lip and looked down. “I’m not trynna have this heart-to-heart yet. I know you ain’t about it, so the time has to be right.”

“Then let’s not talk.” Brooke noticed Vanessa wasn’t resisting her hold anymore, so she pulled her closer and closer until the smaller girl sat on her lap. “We don’t have to talk, just let me take your mind off it for a while,” she cooed as she started to place soft, slow kisses from her shoulder all the way up to her jaw.

The temptation was undeniable and nearly every part of Vanessa’s body was urging her towards Brooke. And at first, she gave in. She straddled her lap with her arms draped around her neck. Their foreheads rested against each other, lips just barely touching before connecting in a kiss. And another one, a deeper, languid one. For a moment, she was perfectly at ease. There was no yesterday or tomorrow to weigh down her mind – there was only now and only them in a dream of their own design.

Then she woke up to the sinking feeling that this was too easy. Not every problem could be solved by kissing pretty girls, no matter how hard she may try. She pulled away, standing up. “I can’t do this right now. It ain’t even you… I just…”

“You just what?”

Vanessa was shaking her head as she backed away. “You wouldn’t understand. Sometimes it’s better to not do enough than to do too much. That’s how you end up in this shit hole.”

[June 24th, 2019]

It was the dead of night, a time where – in many places – everything would be quiet and calm. But this was still Los Angeles in the early days of summer, when the weather was nice without the balmy heat making the air hazy, the kind of heat that made walking feel like trudging through a thick slime.

The ability to walk quickly and move nimbly was imperative for Vanessa and A’keria – down one from their usual trio with Silky away visiting family in Mississippi. It would’ve taken a lot more than that to quash Vanessa’s plans.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. I swear to god, if the police don’t kill you, I will. It’s like you’re trying to invent a new level of stupid shit to try to get away with and—”

“Shh!” Vanessa elbowed her in the ribs. “We’ll get away with it if you shut the fuck up.” And with that, she had effectively tuned A’keria out as they kept walking to their destination. “Alright, this is it.”

A’keria hesitated. “You sure? Cause if it ain’t—”

“It is. Now, do you want the eggs or toilet paper?” She held up a carton of eggs in one hand and a roll of toilet paper in the other, offering up both options.

After a moment of disgruntled hesitation, A’keria sighed and grabbed the toilet paper. If Vanessa wasn’t going to come to her senses, she would at least pick the lesser of two evils on her end.

Of course, when the police arrived it didn’t really matter who was throwing what – vandalism was still vandalism. But Vanessa sat upright and indignant as she was escorted into the backseat of the cop car. Just as the car was pulling away, she stole a glance out the window, at the girl who had ignited the anger in her that drove her to revenge.

She looked indifferent – mildly annoyed at most. This infuriated Vanessa to no end. “Look at her, she don’t even care. What the fuck?”

The other girl sighed with her head against the window. “Now do you see how ridiculous you’ve been? You got your ass all worked up over some bitch that don’t give two shits about you. I keep telling you it’s gonna land you in a damn mess and look where we are now. We could catch a real charge for this, V.” She took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. There was no point in them fighting on top of everything else. “Just once I wish you’d think things through before you act, channel that passion into something useful.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “Listen, I’ll take the whole rap for this. It was my fault – you tried to talk me out of it.”

A’keria shook her head with a soft smile. “Nah, they caught me red-handed too. Besides, we’re still ride-or-dies no matter how foolish you act.”

[Present Day]

“Hey… Vanessa, right? Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

Vanessa was undeniably caught off-guard when the hot, tattooed blonde that’d served her lunch plopped herself down beside her at the table. She blinked, taking a moment for her brain to connect to her mouth. “Um… Sure, what’s up?”

“You see that girl over there? With the blonde ponytail and the kicked puppy expression?” Kameron cocked her head in Brooke Lynn’s direction. “Every time I look at her, she’s looking at you. And I mean looking at you. So, I have got to know – is something going on between you two?”

That was the million-dollar question, wasn’t it? Vanessa looked down at the table for a good few moments before facing the girl who didn’t seem annoyed or jealous – just genuinely curious, which she supposed alleviated some of the anxiety the question could’ve caused. “You could say that,” was what she decided on. “But it’s complicated, you don’t want the whole backstory or nothing.”

Kameron chuckled, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Listen, I know complicated. And I know Brooke Lynn. I promise, nothing you could say about her would surprise me.”

It certainly wasn’t the response Vanessa was expecting, but it did explain the nonchalance Kameron had. “It’s not even her. I mean… it’s kind of her. But it’s me too. I got a… bad habit of getting real intense if I start to catch feelings, and she’s got this whole life to go back to, and I shouldn’t be mad at her for wanting to go back to her normal life…”

“So, what, she told you to fuck off back into the hood?”

Vanessa laughed, but it was a laugh filled with embarrassment and a hint of self-realization. “No… I just been avoiding talking to her about it since I’m, you know, real and emotional and shit, and she’s all closed off cause she’s a hornet.”

“Do you mean WASP?”

“Like it matters. It’s like we’re speaking different languages half the time anyway.”

Kameron tilted her head and pressed her lips together, going absolutely silent. In actuality, it wasn’t more than a minute or so, but with Vanessa unconsciously holding her breath, it felt like ages. “What if I go talk to her for you? You know, serve as a middleman or something.”

“Oh, no that’s not a— oh, okay, you already going. You ain’t even listening to me.” She hid her head in her arms on the table. “Well fuck me, I guess.” It wasn’t like the situation could get any more awkward, she figured.

Meanwhile, Kameron seemed as cheerful as she had been while serving food when she perched herself across from Brooke Lynn at the otherwise empty lunch table. “Long time no see, huh?”

[spooky-ghostwriter]

Dressed to Kill - Chapter Eighteen

<– Previous Chapter

Next Chapter –>

It was not exactly forty years before the conversation between Vercingetorix and Garrick on the cactus farm, but it was close enough for all intents and purposes. At that time, Garrick's primary assistant was a woman. Garrick thought back to what her name had been. Helen was what Garrick remembered, so that was what he chose to tell Vercingetorix.

Garrick kept the original dryad seed, the one that had ignited all of his research, in a small glass cube on his desk. It was a memento for him – the ultimate catalyst that had led him into the world of the impossible. Whenever his research failed to progress as quickly as he'd like, funding was low, or there was some other kind of undue stress, he could always gaze at the seed and remind himself of his greatest accomplishment.

This was one of those days. Garrick exhaled deeply. He felt his frustration subside as he stared at the seed.

To his slight embarrassment, Helen had chosen that moment to enter the office.

“You'd have something to watch if you actually planted it,” said Helen.

Garrick laughed.

“Maybe,” He agreed. He leaned back in his chair. “We're so close, Helen. The merging of animal and dryad DNA is theoretically possible. But to create a true dryad, like the ones from the legends, an insect or a mouse won't do. We need a human.”

“I know. You've said that before.”

“Ideally a child. Someone young who can adapt to the process as they grow.”

“A... child,” Helen repeated. “How old?”

“As young as possible,” Garrick said, leaning back in thought. “A newborn would be best. But even... six, no, five years old. Five would be the cutoff.”

“Garrick, you can't subject a five-year-old child to – ”

Garrick tried to keep from rolling his eyes as Helen began her speech. He caught a few words about consent and medical ethics, but for the most part it was the same boring monotony that he'd heard countless times from all sorts of people. Evidently, and to his incredible disappointment, Helen was no different. He made a note to himself about finding another new assistant.

One word in Helen's diatribe caught Garrick's attention – the word 'parents'.

Ah, Garrick thought, watching in interest as the woman tried to hold back tears at her own rant. Perhaps that's where I should start – children with no parents.

“Once I had that thought in mind,” Garrick continued, “I did what I could to find and secure an orphan child. Eventually I found one to my liking – a young boy who was abandoned by his parents so young that he didn't even know his name. I'm curious, John Doe, did you ever look into finding them?”

“I did not,” Vercingetorix managed to say. The pain in his chest had improved, but only marginally; it was now a burning sensation instead of a piercing one. “I found a new family.”

“Yes, and I was very proud of you for that!” Garrick said. He sounded oddly genuine.

“Now – do you honestly expect me to believe your story?” Vercingetorix asked. “That you implanted some seed into me forty years ago, when you look younger than me now?”

“You do realize you're holding my notes on how a girl in your employment turns into a tank, don't you?” Garrick countered. “Is it truly that hard to believe that I, a person who attained knowledge from mythical beings, was able to modify my own aging? It would certainly benefit the dryads if their emissary was not affected by the pesky human concept of age.”

Vercingetorix grit his teeth. It was easier to tolerate Garrick's story when he'd felt it was a complete lie. But when he had such a simple answer for the main hole in his story, Vercingetorix felt he had to reconsider the entire thing.

“So you planted some seed in me when I was a child, and then just let me run off to create Alesia,” Vercingetorix reiterated. “Without monitoring me or anything of that sort?”

“I monitored the seed's development over a few months,” Garrick said idly. “When I found that it hadn't actually integrated itself into your biology, I called the experiment a failure and let you go along your business. It was only recently that I found out where the dryads I revived were going, and that they were chasing after that seed. However, given that you put so much effort into seeking out the impossible, as dryads like to do, it could be that the dryad seed has affected you in some way.”

No... there's no reason to believe what this man says.

“Still skeptical?” Garrick asked. “Let me ask you this, then. What made you think that this cactus farm was suspicious? I just told you that dryads seek out other dryads. Perhaps you had a feeling – some sensation – that this farm was worth investigating? I wonder how far in advance you knew that dryads were approaching Alesia each time they came.”

Vercingetorix recalled each and every one of those events in perfect clarity. He could no longer completely deny what Garrick told him.

The look on Vercingetorix's face must have told Garrick what he wanted to hear, for he now wore a sickening smile.

“I've been thinking,” said Garrick, “Perhaps my experiment ended a little too soon. What would you say to coming back to my new and improved facility? If the seed has indeed begun to influence you, I'm curious what wonderful things I could learn about you now.”

Vercingetorix shot Garrick a stare as piercing as Garrick's own. Thinking back to this moment later, he felt that he may have missed an opportunity to get even more information, but his reaction was immediate and instinctive.

“Like hell.”

“To be honest, that's about what I expected you to say,” Garrick said, sounding crestfallen. “Still, between my progress over the past forty years and your combination with the seed not being as complete of a failure as I'd expected, I've decided that there is more I can do even without you. I've researched dryads in all of their possible forms, but I must have missed something when it comes to humanity. Humans are indeed capable of things that even I, with my knowledge gifted from the dryads, could not have imagined. I want to see just how far dryads can be advanced.”

Vercingetorix stared at the paper in his hand in horror.

“You want Tsukiko.”

“Yes, that's right. I first realized what I may have missed when I saw your other stage magician transform into a tank. Freya, was it? A shame the dryads weren't able to capture her alive as I'd wanted. But that's all right. I have you to thank for this second chance.”

The farmhouse door, a floor above, slammed open.

“Vercy!” Galen's voice cried. “Are you here? We've finished up with the cacti!”

“I see those were a failure,” Garrick said. “Oh well. It's all a learning experience, is it not?”

“Galen! Ravindra! Henry! All of you come down here!” Vercingetorix ordered.

“Oh?” Garrick asked. “I was hoping we could talk more, you and I.”

A faint wind began to blow through the basement. The papers in Vercingetorix's hand and those on the desk behind him started to flutter. Then, the wind picked up. A trail of leaves blew from what looked like out of Garrick's suit. With each one, Vercingetorix realized that less of the man was visible; he was like a jigsaw puzzle falling apart. After a dozen or so large blue leaves fell onto the wind and began to get swept away, Garrick was gone completely.

Galen hurried down the stairs, but paused in confusion as a trail of wind and leaves blew past his face.

He, Ravindra and Henry made their way down to the basement, but it was too late. Garrick was gone; the wind carrying the leaves died down as suddenly as it had picked up.

“What... was that?” Galen asked.

Vercingetorix shook his head.

“Flesh and blood, he said...” Vercingetorix muttered.

He looked at the stagehand, firebreather and mime.

“We need to get back to Alesia. Now.”

“I don't see why I'm here,” Tsukiko said in frustration.

“Because,” said Stiletto. “You don't stay still properly during shows. We need to practice.”

Tsukiko frowned, staying as still as possible as a knife flew by her ear and sank into the crates behind her. Miss Isle, standing a couple crates higher on the stack, jostled slightly at the force of the knife, but still continued to juggle her bowling pins without issue.

“Not what I meant.”

“Oh, you mean why are any of us here?” Miss Isle asked. “Like – what's our purpose in life? I think mine is to juggle stuff, personally. Yours is probably stage magic, right?”

“No,” Tsukiko said dully. She found it hard to properly express herself without raising her hands, but kept them at her sides so that Stiletto could toss a knife below her armpit.

“What I mean is, why aren't I at the cactus farm with Galen and the others?” Tsukiko asked. “Why am I here, at the circus, in this very instant?”

Miss Isle caught her bowling pins.

“I'm no philosopher,” She said, “but wouldn't that just be because Vercy didn't ask you to come along?”

“She's not wrong,” Stiletto agreed, weighing a couple knives in her hand. After a moment, she threw both with the same hand and they embedded themselves into the wood on either side of Tsukiko's throat.

“I'm serious! Why didn't Vercingetorix ask me to come along to the cactus farm?” Tsukiko cried. “Why did he bring Galen and his punchy-pants instead of me and my military vehicle?”

“Okay, first of all, I'm going to start calling Galen 'Punchy Pants' from now on,” Miss Isle promised, beginning to juggle once more. “And second of all, you can't spend all day every day killing dryads. Take a day to yourself once in a while. Sleep in, plan some magic, hang out with your snake, have Stiletto chuck knives at you... you know. Relax.”

“Besides, we're the main people who can defend the circus while they're gone,” Stiletto added.

“Maybe I should just start wearing the Tank Top by default,” Tsukiko muttered.

“I'd totally do that if I were you!” Miss Isle said. “Religalia don't work for me.”

“Oh? Why's that?” Tsukiko asked, looking up to meet her eyes as best she could without moving her head. From Vercingetorix's earlier explanation, she understood that Freya's death had affected the other performers too much for them to use Religalia, but from what she knew, Miss Isle was a recent hire who probably would have never met Freya in the first place.

“She doesn't trust herself with a tank,” Stiletto said simply.

“I do too!” Miss Isle retorted. “I just don't trust that anyone else would trust me with a tank!”

“Aw, that's not true. I'd trust you!” Tsukiko said sympathetically.

“Hey Miss Isle, how many injuries have you had this year?” Stiletto asked.

“Uh...”

Miss Isle began counting on her fingers. As she did, one of the bowling pins she'd forgotten she was juggling bounced off her head, and the other two rolled off the crate.

“Including that one,” Stiletto said.

“Well fine, if you're counting all the minor bumps and scrapes and shrapnel, it's a lot, okay?!” Miss Isle sputtered. It was hard for Tsukiko to tell if she was actually angry, for her high voice and smile-exaggerating make-up would have hid it, but Tsukiko knew her well enough by now to guess that she was joking around.

Distracted by the thought, Tsukiko nearly forgot about Stiletto's knives. One flew by her nose, and she flinched.

“Okay, we're done,” Stiletto said. “You're too daydreamy right now.”

Tsukiko was not entirely unhappy to hear this. She stepped away from the crates and turned. She had a very noticeable outline by now; nearly fifty knives had traced a near-perfect silhouette of Tsukiko in the wooden boxes.

“Why is it so hard to find people who stay still for long enough?” Stiletto asked wistfully.

“I can stay still!” Miss Isle offered, sliding off her crate perch. “Can I juggle grenades while you throw knives at me?”

“No.”

“Come on!”

Tsukiko left Stiletto and Miss Isle to their bickering and weapon tossing. As Miss Isle had suggested, she wandered to the bestiary to see Gary. She didn't see her snake in the shelter at first. She knelt down to eye level, and spotted Gary curled up in his hollowed rock hideout. The snake noticed her as well and poked its head out of hiding.

Tsukiko picked the snake out of his terrarium and draped him across her neck and shoulder. Gary relaxed, being kept warm by Tsukiko's all-too-plentiful hair, as his owner recounted her complaints and day plans.

“You know, you're a better listener than Henry,” Tsukiko said. “We should do this more often.”

Gary flicked out his tongue. Tsukiko took that as an agreement.

A few paces later, her cell phone rang. Tsukiko poked at the screen, recognizing the number.

“Yo, Galen,” she said.

“Tsuki! Are you okay?” Galen's voice asked frantically.

“Er. Yes?” Tsukiko guessed, looking to Gary for confirmation. “What's up?”

“We found some weird stuff at the cactus farm,” Galen said. “There's this guy called Garrick. He works with the dryads and he's been researching all of Alesia's acts.”

“Well, that sort of makes sense,” Tsukiko said. “Anyone working with the dryads would have to know by now that we're the ones killing their stupid plant monsters, right?”

“Yeah, but – look. As far as we can tell, Garrick is targeting you specifically. He doesn't know how the Religalia work, so he thinks you're special.”

“You say that like you don't think I'm special!” Tsukiko gasped in mock-offence.

“Yeah yeah. Just do me a favour and stay away from any plants until we get back. Vercy wants to hold a meeting. We're going to go over what we've learned and how to make sure you stay safe.”

“That's sweet and all, but is it really necessary?” Tsukiko asked. “I've fought dryads before. You saw me do it. I'm actually pretty good at it.”

“You're right,” Galen said. “Sorry. It's just that seeing all of this has really freaked me out. It's one thing for you to fight monsters, but when they're coming for you specifically... makes me worry.”

“Aw. I was worried about you too. Someone said you were fighting cacti?”

“Oh, yeah, they were a pain in the ass.”

“Hopefully not literally pains in your ass. I'm not High Healing ass injuries.”

“Luckily, no. And we're all fine, so you don't have to worry either.”

“Well,” Tsukiko said. “I'll do my best to avoid plants.” She looked down at the grass beneath her feet; the field extended for hundreds of meters in any direction. “No promises, though.”

“Yeah, you're right, I'm just being paranoid,” Galen said. “We're almost back at the circus. We'll talk then.”

A pause.

“Tsuki?” Galen's voice asked through Tsukiko's phone. “Are you still there?”

Silence.

Gary the snake slithered around the grass. The snake didn't understand why he was suddenly on the ground, even being used to Tsukiko appearing and disappearing during magic shows. He wrapped around Tsukiko's fallen phone. The battery's warmth did a good job of emulating her body heat.

“Tsuki, come on,” Galen's voice rang out through the phone. “This isn't funny.”

Gary poked up his head. His owner wasn't in any direction he could see.

“Tsuki...?” asked the phone.

“We found Tsukiko's cell phone and her pet snake near Pierre's tents.”

Jeffery placed the device on Vercingetorix's large circular desk, facing the rest of the group. Vercingetorix, Ravindra and Henry all looked at the device with grimaces on their faces.

Galen, on the other hand, looked simply empty. Even Gary, sitting on his shoulder and tickling his ear with his tiny forked tongue, did nothing to change Galen's expression.

“Stiletto and Miss Isle said they were talking just after lunch,” Jeffery explained. “Going by the length of the call between Galen and Tsukiko, it seems like she disappeared at one thirty four.”

“And no one saw anything?” Ravindra asked.

“There were no dryad sightings,” Jeffery confirmed. “Some stagehands saw Tsukiko wandering around with Gary, but that's all.”

“What of the Religalia?” Vercingetorix asked.

“Stiletto and Miss Isle said that Tsukiko was wearing her normal outfit when she was captured. They thought that might have included the Bow Tie, but we checked storage. All of the Religalia are accounted for. She must have been wearing her non-Religalia bow tie,” said Jeffery.

“That's a relief,” said Vercingetorix. “Now – ”

Galen stood, slamming a palm onto the desk.

“Is that what you care about?!” He demanded, startling the poor snake on his neck. “God knows what happened to Tsukiko and you're worried about her bow tie?!”

Henry held up his palms, motioning for Galen to sit down. He made a few more gestures, but at Galen's level of stress, he found he couldn't understand a single one.

“Henry's right,” Ravindra said. “The dryads likely captured Tsukiko, as opposed to killing her. They believe she has the ability to transform into a tank and conjure the Bow Tie's compound bow. If they were to learn that the powers come from the Religalia, and not Tsukiko herself, that's when she'd be in true danger.”

Galen looked back at Vercingetorix, trying to decide if the manager had meant the same thing. Galen saw no change in his expression, and so sat down with the same frustration with which he'd arisen.

He looked around the table, but none of the others seemed to blame him for his outburst. Each of them was silent, completely immersed in their own thoughts.

[alexryzlingold]

For a prompt, if you're interested, uh someone Mommy shamming preggo White and Pink deciding to kick there ass. She gets arrested by the mommy shammer's husband, and spends an hour in a cell without medical attention (just a few stitches and a really bad black eye.) , but Yellow is ranked higher than him and points out his wife attached first once she shows up at work after leaving Blue to comfort White at home? And Pink is released into Yellow's custody?

I love writing sarcastic PD/Linnea and protective YD/Zarina. Also I should note that yes, I could of used the Zircons in this story but they’re busy being in lesbians together in Beach City and this takes place in Empire City.

(YD =Zarina, BD = Afina, WD = Ginevra, PD = Linnea)

Ginevra being pregnant was quite possibly the weirdest thing Linnea had ever experienced in her whole life. And she had taught high schoolers. Normally, Ginevra didn’t do mood swings. She had a sort of slowly boiling temper that grew and grew until it was too late and she was yelling at you. Not that she ever really yelled at her wives, but Linnea had dropped into her office enough to know it did happen when someone was particularly stupid.

Along with the mood swings though, her emotions would build up and explode, except it wouldn’t be whatever emotion Linnea thought Ginevra was feeling. She’d look furious and end up crying. She’d be tearing up and end up laughing.

Linnea really hoped this was one of the times she ended up yelling. Because other wise Linnea was going to smack the woman in front of her.

The other thing Linnea had learnt over the course of Ginevra’s pregnancy was that strangers tended to approach Ginevra and asked rather invasive questions. Or worse, try to touch Ginevra’s stomach. That never went well.

Ginevra had a very large personal bubble that could only generally be breached by her wives. She didn’t deal well with strangers. Like the lady in front of them that haf started by talking to them quite nicely. Right up until the other woman asked about the father. Apparently using a sperm donor wasn’t an acceptable answer.

They had spent the last five minutes listening to her rant, trying and failing to politely extract themselves. Ginevra was a firm believer in proper manners.

Linnea watched Ginevra closely. She wasn’t even really paying attention to what the lady standing across from them was saying. All Linnea saw the distressed look flash across Ginevra’s face.

She swung and hit the other woman square in the jaw. It was too much to hope that would be the end of it. As focused as she had been, Linnea had somehow forgotten about the woman’s husband.

The police officer husband. Standing right next to her. Linnea was swiftly, and rather roughly cuffed and shoved into the back of a cruiser, leaving a rather distraught Ginevra on the sidewalk.

Well shit.

“It’s not a good idea to hit a police officer’s wife, lady.” The lady sneered from the passenger seat of the car.

Linnea rolled her eyes, tensing her jaw and trying to figure out how badly hurt it was. Her jaw ached, and she could tell she had a split lip. Her eye was starting to swell shut too, but right now it wasn’t too bad.

“Good advice. I’ll file it next to ‘don’t insult a pregnant woman’.”

——

It took two hours of waiting in a cell for Linnea to finally be led to an interrogation room to give her account of events.

“I’m Officer Marcus Bailey. You’ve been charged with assault on a Mrs Georgina Bailey. Could you please state your name for the record.”

“I’ll spell it for you. I.W.A.N.T.M.Y.L.A.W.Y.E.R. It’s pronounced ‘I want my lawyer’.” Linnea said with a smirk.

“Look, just cooperate and I’m sure you’ll just get a fine, or community service.”

“Or, here’s an idea, I can get my lawyer instead. You know, the one I asked for.”

Officer Bailey growled and stood. “I’ll get right on that. Until then you can enjoy your own company.”

“Great. I’ve been dying for some good conversation.”

Officer Bailey left her alone for the next half hour.

“We’ve got your lawyer coming in but he’ll be a good half an hour yet so let’s get started on your statement.”

Linnea raised an eyebrow. “My lawyer, huh? Strange. Since my lawyer is female and you never asked me for any contact info.”

Just then the door burst open and a rather large lady with two buns on the side of her head bustled in.

“Sorry for the delay, Linnea. I only got the call fifteen minutes ago and you know where my office is.”

“Who the hell are you?”

The woman paused from where she was opening her briefcase on the table and turned to Officer Bailey.

“Oh, where are my manners.” She held a hand out that Bailey weakly shook. “I’m Holly Agate, Mrs Diamond’s lawyer. Her wife called me after the incident. Now could you tell me who’s in charge of this case?”

“Officer Bailey, and I’m in charge.”

“Bailey. Bailey. Bailey. No relation to the defendant, I assume.”

“She’s his wife.” Linnea snorted.

“Oh. Well I guess we’ll just have to wait then.”

“For what?” Bailey asked.

“Another officer to be assigned of course.” Holly replied as she started to repack her briefcase. “You can’t very well work on a case your wife is involved in. That’s not very ethical now is it?”

“No, it’s not.” A voice came from the hallway.

“Oh, Zarina I didn’t see you there! I must have left the door open. My apologies. You know how I get about my cases.”

Officer Bailey stood up quickly. “Captain! I…”

“Honestly Bailey, what the hell were you thinking?” Zarina snapped. “I don’t think you did a single thing right at all in this case. First you fail to call her back up and make an arrest you’re personally involved with. Then you allow your wife to ride in the squad car with you while you have a suspect in the back. That’s not even taking into account that you were meant to be on patrol on the other side of the city.”

“I was on break ma’am.”

“Don’t ever interrupt me again!” Zarina yelled. “And you weren’t on break because by all accounts you took your break an hour ago. I know, I was looking for you and everyone I asked said you had gone out to lunch with your wife. But we’ll breeze past that you just blatantly lied to me.”

Zarina took a step towards Officer Bailey.

“So not only should you have been elsewhere, when taking the suspect in you forcibly restrained her despite the fact that she never resisted arrest. I’ve looked over the footage and there is no reason she should have a black eye or a split lip. Speaking of, you failed to give her any medical attention and if you have given her a concussion any confession or statement would be suspect if she had a good enough lawyer. Trust me, Holly is a damn fine lawyer too.”

Zarina waved a hand towards Holly. The other woman perked up and smiled slightly.

“Though,” Zarina drawled. “speaking of Holly should we even go over the fact that you failed to call this woman’s lawyer when she clearly asked for one. I’ve seen the security tapes from the past half hour. You sat at your desk and didn’t even try to get a public defender. What of this case haven’t you made a mockery of, Bailey? Do you really care so little about this community that you think your conduct was becoming of a police officer?”

“Ma’am, I saw her punch Georgina.”

“You have made a mockery of this case and I can tell you now, it will get thrown out of court because of your blatant disregard of the proper procedure. We have due process for a reason Bailey. Now get out. I’ll deal with you tomorrow.”

Officer Bailey nearly tripped in his rush to leave.

Zarina waited until she was sure he was gone before she rushed to Linnea’s side.

“Are you okay, Linnea? Ginevra was beside herself when she got home.”

Linnea shrugged. “I’ve been better. Let’s get this over with so we can go home.”

It took another half an hour for Linnea to give her statement and for Holly to be happy enough to or a case together but it was worth it when Linnea left and saw Officer Bailey and his wife outside the precinct.

“ Haven’t you heard? It’s not a good idea to hit a police captain’s wife.”