#okay i really should get something to eat

[heyftinally]

This is actually the original principle behind Montessori education. It's not the overpriced, all wood toys and five hours outside curriculum that gets marketed now.

(Note: I recognize there are significant issues with the history of Montessori education. I'm not excusing those.)

In short, a Montessori approach to education says assume competence and teach based on interest.

So if you have a kid that's dumping their blocks out repeatedly, give them some measuring cups and dry cheerios or something else that they can scoop and pour (ideally edible so it's okay if they eat it while they play). If they want to use the sharp knives you have in the kitchen, teach them how to use a plastic knife to cut things like cooked carrots.

When you teach a child based on their interests, you teach them that they are capable, and their contributions to the home are important.

A lot of us know the feeling of "I tried to do the dishes to surprise my mom, but I did them wrong so she yelled at me/just did them all over again", and how useless and demotivated it can make someone feel. This is the opposite of that.

And the result is that as the kid keeps learning, they're building skills for life. Do you know how many 20-somethings I've met who can barely make themselves instant ramen? Too many. And often it's because they're never taught to cook, and by the time they actually NEED to cook for themselves they realize they should have learned this a long time ago, and now are embarrassed to admit that they need help.

Teaching kids that their help is valued young is an amazing lesson. (Note: this doesn't mean we should be forcing kids to solely or even primarily take on chores above what is appropriate for their age. This child is really only old enough that their "chores" should include putting away their toys and putting their shoes away. As they get older they can take on more responsibilities, but adults should always be the primary caregivers)

[eowynstwin]

I don’t really know what to say. I’m very scared.

I think anyone who has committed to not having children should schedule their tubal ligation/vasectomy ASAP. They came for abortion. They’re coming for IVF. They’re going to come for your ability not to get pregnant next.

One thing I learned last year when I was contemplating ending my life was that escaping despair was not about running away from something—it’s about chasing joy down and bringing it into your life. Feeling better meant giving myself specific things that made me happy to focus on.

So I started eating foods I’d never had but wanted to try. I got back into doing my nails. I bought myself easy crafts to do because I wanted to learn how to sew and crochet and embroider. None of that solved the real problems that were causing my despair, and I had to do things that addressed those problems directly. I’m not saying little hobbies and retail therapy will save this country.

Sometimes despair is the thing that chases you down instead. It is for all of us right now. And I don’t think I have anything in me to say that can give anyone hope for a future that looks pretty bleak. All I know is I’ve lived in despair before and it’s the first thing that will kill you, if you let it.

What I am saying is that when you have a problem you can’t solve right away, you medicate the symptoms so at least you can live in some comfort. If you’re too tired or too hopeless or in too much pain to feel like life is worth living, you won’t live, and you won’t see any reason to.

I’m going to do what I can to make my life happy for the next four years. I’m resolving to get back into painting and drawing. Sometimes the little things you give yourself to look forward to are what carry you through the worst parts of living.

I’m not gonna say everything is going to be okay, because for a lot of people it simply isn’t. I’m very sorry.

I guess what I want to say is there are still little good things ahead. There’s a really good piece of fruit you’re gonna eat in the future. Yarn might go on sale at the craft store so you can make a sweater if you want. For now the trees are still green. Chase joy with me.

[taojjang]

𐙚 riize's favorite thing to do with you

pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff, warnings: they down bad fr

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ୨୧

♡⸝⸝ times he feels happiest by your side

shotaro . . . shopping with you!

taro truly loves spoiling you— whether with new jewelry or a bunch of kisses, he always has something to give you. he often finds excuses to go spend money with you. for instance, you could mention that you really like chocolate and he'll respond, "let's go for some ice cream!" he just loves giving you everything you want :( and that's why he loves your late-night convenience store runs!

the second you tell shotaro you want a snack, he's already grabbing his car keys and telling you to put on your jacket. when you arrive at the convenience store, taro runs straight towards your favorite snack and tosses two of them into the basket. "is there anything else you're craving, honey?" whatever you look at, he puts it in the basket without even looking at the price. in his mind, the smile that you give him when you're eating snacks together is priceless <3

eunseok . . . lounging with you!

eunseok is a simple man, it really doesn't take much to satisfy him. something about the lazy days he spends with you always makes him feel so comfortable. he loves those saturday nights when he comes home from work and you're welcoming him with a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. but he loves sunday mornings even more.

he loves waking up with you resting on his chest, not having to turn off his alarm or push you off to get ready for work. if you hadn't woken up and forced him to freshen up, he'd lie there for hours, falling in and out of sleep with you cuddled against him. after brushing your teeth and eating a quick snack, eunseok would drag you right back to bed so he could lie beside you while you finished your overdue tasks on your laptop. he'd occasionally get up to grab a snack for the both of you, but for the most part, he'd play his silly mobile games while you pat his head with your free hand. simple days like this make him feel so happy to be yours.

sungchan . . . eating with you!

sungchan is always so worried about you. the days when he's too busy at work to come and see you, he's texting you every hour to ask if you've eaten yet. he just wants to know you're taking care of yourself when he isn't there to do it himself :( which is why he's always ordering so much food when he comes to your house.

"thank you, baby... but i don't think i can eat all of this." you mutter looking down at the 6 containers of takeout. "it's fine princess, you can eat the leftovers tomorrow." sungchan melts into a giggly mess once you start eating. he loves how adorable you look when you eat <3 so much to the point where he'd buy you every single one of your cravings just to see those cute chubby cheeks :(

"you're so adorable, princess~ how is it? should i order more?"

wonbin . . . dressing up with you!

whether he's going to a fashion show or the grocery store, wonbin has to look good wherever he goes. it's almost sickening having to wait 40 minutes for him to get all dolled up just to grab toothpaste from the pharmacy. but you've got to admit, it's quite fun helping him pick out his outfits. one thing you should expect from helping him out is having to join him in his fashion frenzy.

wonbin loves matching outfits with you! before you leave the house, he'll go into his closet and find a comfy sweater that matches his outfit. but instead of wearing it, he hands it to you. "baby, try this on." you always love wearing his clothes since they're so stylish and cozy (not to mention they smell like him too). he finds it so adorable when you twirl around in front of the mirror, asking him "is this one okay?"

"you already know what i'm gonna say, baby. you're so beautiful!"

seunghan . . . singing with you!

seunghan is truly a passionate man. even on his days off, you catch him dancing in front of the mirror, working tirelessly to ensure he has the choreo down before he goes to work the next day. but when you catch him singing, it's almost mesmerizing. when you walk by the bathroom and hear him singing in the shower, you can't help but press your ear against the door in hopes of hearing him clearly. his voice is incomparable to anything you've ever heard.

he could say the same about yours. the first time he heard you singing a song he'd been practicing, he stopped dead in his tracks and let nothing take his attention away from you. you never believe him when he tells you you're good at singing (i mean, he's literally THEE hong seunghan), but he won't stop telling you how lovely your voice is. he loves your voice so much that his ideal date is singing his heart out with you in the karaoke room! he loves how adorable you look jumping around and singing your favorite song while he's cheering you on. you could never forget how he looks up at you with so much adoration sparkling in his eyes. he adores you more than anything else in the world.

sohee . . . playing with you!

sometimes you get a bit annoyed by how often sohee plays video games. it's so exhausting watching him spend all of his time at his computer when you just want cuddles :( he typically takes a break after a few rounds to grab a snack, but you're always lying on his bed with those sad eyes and a pout, waiting for any bit of attention from him. "hi pretty girl, you okay?" you shake your head. he stands up to stretch and walks to lie beside you. "let's play together." he can't help but laugh at your sudden mood change when he suggests spending time together.

sohee sits against the headboard and you immediately find a spot to sit between his legs, the back of your head resting on his chest. he hands you a controller and lets you pick a game to play. even if it's a game he doesn't like, he always engages in the gameplay and makes sure you have enough fun to forget how upset you were just a few minutes ago. you always giggle knowing your pout always gets you what you want. you truly are his soft spot <3 the two of you play for hours; screaming and laughing at each other until you grow sleepy. once you tell him you're tired, he'll take the controller from your hand and turn off the tv. he'll pull the blanket over you and hold you closer to his chest.

"let's play again tomorrow, hm?"

anton . . . cuddling with you!

to anton, there's no place that's more comforting than your arms. with every hug, he feels like he's falling deeper and deeper in love with you by the second. he never knew someone could feel so much like home. his hugs are always so passionate; wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hiding his face in your neck, savoring every moment of you. every hug drowns you in such addicting warmth that you can't get enough of him. nothing could ever top this feeling. well, except for cuddles, of course.

after a long day, all you truly need is to be held by your big teddy bear. lying down beside anton, he immediately turns to you and rests his head on your chest. beginning to run your hands through his hair, you tell him how exhausting today was and how badly you missed him. he leaves a soft kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around you, closing the gap between the two of you.

"you're with me now, love. just focus on me."

[salty-autistic-writer]

Bucktommy with some “had a crush” ChimTommy. (Inspired by the stills for episode 6)

(AO3 Link)

“Do you know I used to have a crush on you?”

Tommy almost chokes on a piece of white bread and wouldn’t that be hilarious? Pulling an Evan right in front of Howie?

Howie, who is responsible for Tommy and Evan meeting in the first place? Without Howie, this wouldn’t be possible. Nothing of this. They wouldn’t sit at the table in Evan’s loft. They wouldn’t eat dinner together. They wouldn’t talk about old and new times.

Tommy wouldn’t be even alive without Howie.

And now …

“What?” He sputters, baffled.

“Yeah.” Howie is patting Tommy’s back with a half-amused, half-worried expression. “Please don’t die on me now. Not again. I might be too drunk to make good decisions right now.”

Tommy shakes his head and reaches for his bottle to pour the pesky bread down with some beer. “I’m good. But … What do you mean you had a crush on me?!”

Howie shrugs. He takes another sip of his beer, his cheeks a little flushed. “Look. No one can blame me. You’re ridiculously handsome and cool.”

“Thank you,” Tommy says, flustered. He feels a sting too though. Old guilt. “I wish I wouldn’t have been such an asshole. You tried so hard even though the first impression you got from me was a racist remark. And I pushed you away.” Hard. He pushed hard. Still remembers the irritation he felt when that new guy just wouldn’t give up. Wouldn’t shut up. Wouldn’t stop being so heartachingly nice. Tommy didn’t know how to deal with that.

Howie hums and nods. “I remember. I was there. Look. We talked about this. Many times. You apologised. I told you I forgive you. We are good. So I really hope you don’t think you still have some kind of debt to pay.”

Tommy swallows. He looks down at his feet, suddenly feeling guilty and bashful. “Well, there’s something I should tell you … I promised myself to be more open in general. We had some talks, Evan and I. About things like holding back truths. Keeping feelings a secret. And I don't want to do that anymore. So, um, you should know that I also had a little crush on you.”

“No way, man,” Howie leans back and chortles. “No way! That's amazing.”

“Well. Yeah,” Tommy smiles weakly. “You were kind. Funny. Capable. Handsome. And after you saved my life … When I saw you at the hospital, showing up and acting like it’s a normal thing to do. Well. I couldn’t really help myself.”

He remembers their hug. He wanted to put everything he felt back then into that hug. Did he succeed? He'll never know. But he tried.

“Imagine,” Howie says, his eyes getting a distant look like he really does already imagine. “Everything could have been so different. But here’s the thing. As flattered as I am, I wouldn’t want things to be different.”

Tommy nods seriously. “Same.”

“Maddie is the one, man,” Howie says dreamily.

Tommy smiles. “I can see that.”

Everyone can see the love. It’s in the glances Howie and Maddie exchange. In the familiar gentleness of their touches and in the fond way they smile at each other when Jee does something cute. And Tommy is happy for them. For what they found and built. What they fought for.

“I would do anything for her,” Howie adds seriously, then raises a brow and moves to clink his bottle together with Tommy’s. “To love.”

“To love,” Tommy says, his mouth suddenly dry.

Love.

Later, when Evan comes home, Tommy still sits at the table and fidgets, lost in his thoughts and memories.

“Hey. You okay?” Evan asks, tilting his head with a small smile and a barely-there frown. “You seem … distant.”

Tommy shakes his head, folding his hands. “No. I’m fine. I was just thinking. Howie and I talked a lot today.”

“Well, I hope he didn’t tell you all the embarrassing stories about when I started at the 118 as a careless, reckless hothead,” Evan chuckles, putting a hand on his hip and leaning against the kitchen counter, his eyes bright and his cheeks flushed. “I talked to Maddie and Josh a lot too today.”

“Oh?” It’s Tommy’s turn to raise a teasing brow. “About me?”

“Maybe,” Evan says, the corners of his mouth twitching and the blush spreading on his face.

After that, a moment of silence stretches between them. It feels … loaded with emotion somehow. It feels like they both want to say something but still hesitate because it feels so significant that they forget how to express it.

But Tommy has too much experience with keeping things to himself. He also knows that time is never a given thing. You never know what will happen tomorrow. Never know how much time is left in a life’s hourglass.

He clears his throat. “Evan. I have to tell you something. I -”

“I love you!” Evan blurts.

Tommy’s breath hitches. Everything seems to slow down until there’s nothing but the echo of Evan’s words.

“I love you,” Evan repeats and he’s wide-eyed, tears glistening in the blue. “I do. And I know we have had some … talks lately. About some serious things. About your past and my past. And, and you don’t have to say it back. Not yet. It’s okay. I needed to say it though. I needed you to know. Because -”

Before he can ramble on, Tommy is already on his feet and reaches for Evan, cupping his face and capturing his open lips in a kiss.

Love.

That’s love.

“I love you too, Evan.”

[hannahssimblr]

Beginning // Prev // Next

Transcript

Gabija: Hello! Please, come in. It is cold outside.

Jude: Yeah, the weather's turned.

Gabija: I'm making spaghetti.

Jude: Oh, you cooked? I actually just wanted to talk really quickly. I don't have time for-

Gabija: No, come. You'll have a plate.

Jude: Um...

Gabija: This way. It smells good, yes?

...

Gabija: This is my housemate, Lizzie. She is from the UK, like you.

Jude: Okay, well, I'm not from you UK at all. I actually haven't been there either, so-

Lizzie: Alright?

Jude: Yeah. Hi. Look, Gabija, can we just-

Gabija: Do you want to taste the sauce?

Jude: No, not really.

Gabija: No, come. You can tell me if it has too much salt or too little.

Jude: [tastes it] Yeah, it tastes like tomato sauce.

Gabija: [laughs uproariously] You're so funny! I tell Lizzie all the time of how funny you are.

Lizzie: She really does. Funny, talented, handsome... among other things. You've really got the full package, haven't you?

Gabija: Come, sit. The paste is finished.

...

Gabija: Do you know Jude has his birthday on Saturday?

Lizzie: Yes! I heard this. Gabby mentioned it to me once or twice.

Jude: Did she.

Lizzie: Have you plans together?

Jude: No.

Gabija: He is going to a party with friends.

Lizzie: Aw! You didn't want to go, Gabs?

Jude: It's close friends only. She doesn't know the guy hosting.

Lizzie: Well, at least you can both go to B-

Gabija: Lizzie! Shh!

Jude: What's going on?

Gabija: I have bought you something. A gift.

Jude: Oh, God. No, you really... I don't want anything, Gabija, seriously.

Gabija: You talked about how you like Bon Iver...

Jude: Oh, no...

Gabija: And I read they are coming to Berlin in some weeks...

Jude: Jesus...

Gabija: So I got tickets! One for you, one for me!

Jude: Fuck sake, Gabija.

Lizzie: [chortles] Is that how you say you love something in Ireland?

Gabija: You don't want them.

Jude: You made me a card, too?

Gabija: Yes. I painted it.

Jude: Why?

Gabija: For your birthday. I wanted for you to smile.

Jude: But we aren't even together. This is just casual. Why would you do all of this?

Lizzie: Excuse me. I have to go off and... do something.

Gabija: Have I misunderstood?

Jude: I'm just not interested in getting serious to the point that we're like, going to events together, if I'm honest.

Gabija: Oh.

Jude: ...sorry.

Gabija: You don't like me.

Jude: Look, if you got the wrong idea... [breaks off] It's me, right? It's me. I'm not ready for anything serious. I'm not looking for a relationship, and like I said, it's me, not you. I'm the issue.

Gabija: I don't think it's the truth.

Jude: It is.

Gabija: No. There is something about me you do not like.

Jude: Why would you say that?

Gabija: Because you were not happy with me when we had coffee with your Irish friend.

Jude: Okay, well, in fairness, on that day, you weren't actually supposed to come. You invited yourself.

Gabija: You said I could come.

Jude: I heavily implied that you couldn't, actually.

Gabija: you implied?

Jude: Yes, I implied.

Gabija: And do you want me to read your thoughts? You did not say no.

Jude: Well, you're supposed to pick up the signals.

Gabija: The signals are, 'I will not tell you, but please do not come because then I will be very upset'? I don't know what to say. You are a confusing man.

Jude: I'm not.

Gabija: You say one thing but mean another, and say you are not confusing?

Jude: Sorry if I'm confusing, then. Should I go, then?

Gabija: I don't care. if you like, you can finish your spaghetti.

Jude: [incredulous whisper] Why would I want that?

Gabija: It will otherwise go to waste.

Jude: I think in this case it's okay to waste it.

Gabija: Leave it on the table. Maybe I will eat it tomorrow.

Jude: Whatever you want. Hey, we're not going to be awkward in college now, are we?

Gabija: I think yes.

Jude: Ah, well. Obviously you can keep the tickets.

Gabija: I do not know who Bon Iver are. I got them just for you.

Jude: That makes me a bit sad, to be honest.

Gabija: Take them with you.

Jude: Thanks.

Gabija: Bye, Jude.

Jude: Yeah, bye.

[rikkiz]

Can you write a step-cest or, like the reader, is friends with his sister, and they hook up behind her back or smth only if you would like to 💐💐

Dirty Little Secret - Nishimura Riki

To say you had a crush on Riki would be an understatement. Embarrassingly enough, you were completely infatuated with him. You didn't know what it was. He was just so appealing to you. What was probably the biggest appeal was its forbiddenness. He was your best friend's brother for god's sake.

At first, you thought he had no interest in you. But the interactions, whether small or not, had you thinking otherwise lately. The looks exchanged between you both, how he'd brush against you as he walked past "by accident", and stuff like that. It all had you wondering if you had a chance.

One day, you decided to go to your best friend's house to see if she was there as you wanted to hang out. You also figured that even if she wasn't, it'd be worth it to go just to see her brother who'd likely be home.

You arrived at the front door and rang the doorbell before waiting for someone to open the door. You stood there for a moment before the door opened and you were met with Riki standing in front of you, towering over you as he looked down.

"Uh, is your sister home?" You shyly asked as you looked up at him, your cheeks flushing.

It was so obvious to him that you had some type of feelings for him. You hadn't exactly done a good job at hiding it. He noticed your blushes, the way you'd freeze up when he'd "accidentally" touch you, the way you stammered when you both spoke. He wasn't stupid.

"No, she had work. She didn't tell you?" Riki asked.

"Well... no. This wasn't really planned. I just wanted to stop by." You explained as you looked down at your feet. "I'll get going." You tell him as you glance up back at him and go to leave.

"You don't have to leave. You came all this way after all." Riki said and you found yourself freezing. "Come in." He said.

You found yourself stammering, "It's fine. Really. I should go."

"Y/n. You're my sister's best friend. I see you all the time yet we never hang out. Let's hang out." Riki insisted.

"I- um, okay." You finally agreed.

Riki smirked a little, "Come inside." He said as he slightly stepped out of the way, barely though, forcing you to brush against him as you stepped inside, sliding your shoes off by the door.

He leads you to the kitchen, "Want something to eat?" He asked as you walked into the kitchen with him.

"I'm okay. Thanks." You say.

"You sure?" Riki asked and you simply nodded in response.

He didn't say anything more as went to get himself a snack. He grabbed something to heat up in the microwave and put it inside before pressing some buttons and leaning against the counter as he waited for the food to finish heating up.

"I always see you but you never talk to me. Don't like me or something?" Riki teased a bit, knowing that wasn't true but he wanted to point out your distance from him.

"No, that's not true." You say a little too quick. "I- I just don't know what to talk about with you..." You tell him as you look down again.

Riki decides to be a little bold, well, not a little, a lot. "How about we talk about the way you're always blushing when you're around me. Like, right now." He points out and as soon as you process his words, your tensing up and your heart's beating out of your chest.

"W- what?" You stuttered.

"You think I'm stupid or something?" He asked.

"No..." You responded as you looked into his eyes, noticing how he slowly stepped closer to you.

"Really? Then why are you so shocked I knew you liked me when you make it so damn obvious." He said.

You don't know what to say. You're at a complete loss of words. Were you supposed to defend yourself and deny the accusations? Was there even any point? You couldn't even tell if he hated the thought of you liking him.

You didn't need to think much though because you got your answer when Riki leaned down and kissed you. That kiss wasn't exactly gentle either. He was rough as his hands went your hips, pulling you closer as he bent down and kissed you passionately.

You moaned out in surprise as your hands went to his chest and you held onto his shirt, reciprocating the kiss. The fact that this was wrong was nowhere in your mind right now. All you could think was "Riki, Riki, Riki, Riki."

Riki didn't break the kiss as he lifted you up on the counter, his hands now resting on your ass he pressed himself against your clothed core, your legs wrapped around his hips as he mindlessly ground against you.

The food in the microwave was completely forgotten as you both kissed feverishly, his hips now slightly thrusting against you so that you were practically humping at this point.

Your moans against his mouth combined with both the friction and the fact that you were right here for him was enough to make him as hard as a rock. You were soaking wet, leaking through your panties at this point. It was obvious the two of you just wanted each other- wanted each other really bad.

His hands moved to the waistline of your pants as he pulled away from the kiss. "Can I?" He asked and you nodded. He lifted you up a little as he pulled your pants down, now leaving you just in your underwear down there.

"God, wanted you for so long." He groaned out as he looked down at how your underwear stuck to your core.

Riki then pulled your undies off, leaving you completely bare. He stared at your leaking cunt. You shuttered at his gaze before your hands went to his waistband, tugging at it a little.

"Want me?" He asked and you nodded. As if it wasn't obvious enough.

He just chuckled before pulling his pants and boxers down, his hard cock springing out, hitting his stomach. Your breath hitched at the sight.

"I'll pull out, 'kay?" He said and you probably shouldn't have trusted that so easily but you did, nodding eagerly, just wanting him to fuck you already.

He held his shaft before guiding his tip so that it was rubbing against your folds before sliding just the tip into your leaking core, causing you to whine out as you held onto his biceps. He groaned out before slowly sliding in more, letting you adjust before eventually bottoming out.

"Fuck." He cursed as he felt the way you squeezed him so good.

He then slowly started to move his hips so that he was thrusting in and out of you, his pace growing quicker and more rough as you grew more comfortable.

You were whining, moaning, and crying out for him. You held onto him for support as he held you by your hips against him.

"Fuck- fuck-." You whined out as he hit a particular spot.

"Feel good?" He huffed out, continuing to hit that same spot, seeing the effect it had on you.

"Ah, yeah." You moaned out.

"Good." He groaned out as he continued to hit that spot.

As he hit that spot, it didn't take long for you to feel something that had you knowing you were going to cum soon.

"I- I'm close." You moaned out.

"Me too. Me too." Riki said as he held you closer, hitting deeper, if that was even possible.

You were nearly crying at this point as he fucked you. Without any warning, you cumming. He fucked you through it before he was pulling out, jerking his hand a few times, and cumming on your thigh.

After the both of you came down from your highs, he lifted you up, gently taking you off the counter. "I'll take you to my room. Clean you up. Okay?" He said.

"Okay." You nodded, feeling dazed.

You couldn't believe what just happened. You wondered what this now meant. Would you just pretend this never happened? Would you continue to simply fuck in secret? Would this turn into more than something just sexual? You would just have to wait and see.

[strniohoeee]

Changes

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Between hot flashes, nausea and extreme hunger. Y/N can’t figure out what’s wrong with her. It isn’t until hours later when something happens, she ends up finding something out..☁️

Warnings⚠️: None, kinda short, kinda boring. Love yall tho😔🖤

Song for imagine: Accidentally in Love- Counting Crows

I was annoyed, tired, sweaty and really really hungry. I kept snapping at Chris everytime he “annoyed” me and I began to feel bad. I felt like my clothes were too tight and like I was being suffocated. I was so irritable and all I wanted was to be left alone.

But man was I starving…

“Is nobody else hungry?” I said groaning as I searched for something to fan myself with

“I mean not really we just ate” Chris said laughing

“Well yeah, but that was like three hours ago” I said sliding a magazine out from the stack and fanning myself

“Are you okay?” Nick asked me laughing

“Yeah I’m just sweating and so hungry which is making me feel nauseous” I replied fanning myself and shutting my eyes

“We can turn the air down a bit so it’s cooler in here” Matt said as he shut the fridge and walked over to the AC unit

“Could you please I don’t feel too well” I said leaning back

As he lowered the temperature, Chris came over to me and touched my forehead

“You feel a bit warm but nothing crazy, whats wrong babe?” He asked concerned

“I think I’m about to get my period, it’s making me a not so nice person” I said giggling

“You’re never nice” Matt said plopping down on the couch

“I may not feel well, but I’ll kick your ass” I said popping one eye open, to which he stuck his tongue out in response

“I’ll get us something to eat and some of your feminine hygiene stuff, and I’ll be back” Chris said giving me a kiss

“Thank you my love, please please please bring authentic tacos” I said pleading

“Yes ma’am” he replied before heading out with Matt

Nick and I stayed back watching tv as I tried to feel less sick.

Soon after they came back with the food and I swear it was like a beast took over me. I mean I was inhaling tacos left and right like a freaking vacuum.

I think I had 5 tacos before I finally felt sufficed.

“I’m already feeling 100 times better” I replied as I helped clean up the kitchen

“Maybe your blood sugar was really low” Matt said shrugging his shoulders

“Yeah maybe, I should make a doctors appointment” I replied back

We spent the rest of the evening watching movies and laughing. That was until I started to feel sick again

“What’s wrong baby?” Chris suddenly asked

“I’m having the worse cramps” I said groaning as I leaned against him

“I’ll massage your stomach” he said as he began to rub my lower abdomen

About an hour passed when suddenly I jumped out of Chris’ arms and to Matt’s bathroom.

Barely making it to the toilet I puked what felt like my guts out. And then I puked two more times.

What the fuck??

Cleaning myself up and washing out my mouth. I decided to get a grip and calm myself down.

“You okay in there?” Chris asked me

“Yeah! I think I had too many tacos or maybe I have a stomach bug” I responded back

“Aww my baby” Chris responded

“I’m okay I’ll be right out” I said back

I slid my phone out my pocket and opened up my period tracker to see if I was about to get my period.

Suddenly my world crashed…

I was late by 2 and a half weeks. That’s when my brain went into panic mode. And I flew out the bathroom towards the living room.

“I don’t have a stomach bug and I didn’t eat too much. I’m also not about to get my period because I missed it by 2 and a half weeks” I said shocked as I help up my phone towards them

“WHAT” they all yelled as they jumped up on to their feet

“Yeah… I might be pregnant” I said chewing my lip

“Oh my- I'M GOING TO BE A DAD” Chris said practically jumping around

“I don’t know, but if I’m truly 2 weeks late I might be over a month pregnant” I replied

“Let’s go get some tests NOW” Matt yelled grabbing his keys as we ran to their car

Making it back home with a bunch of tests. I ran to the bathroom and took all 5 of them.

15 minutes later Chris and I walked back into the bathroom and opened our eyes to 5 positive tests.

“OH MY GOD” “HOLY SHIT” was all that came out of our mouths

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god” I said blinking faster

“Baby we’re going to be parents” Chris said pulling me in for a hug

“I can’t believe this” Chris said kissing me

“I can’t believe I’m finally pregnant” I said getting teary eyed

Matt and Nick came over to the bathroom and there mouths dropped when they saw the positive tests.

“WERE GOING TO BE UNCLES” They yelled

“Holy shit guys, congratulations” Matt said hugging us

“I’m so happy for you guys” Nick said wiping his eyes and also hugging us

That night was a very overstimulating night. But the next day I made an appointment with my primary doctor and then an OBGYN.

Once I found out my pregnancy was in fact positive and I was in fact almost 2 months pregnant that’s when Chris and I decided to tell our parents at a big get to together back home.

Who would’ve thought a night of hot flashes and tacos would’ve landed me finding out I was pregnant…

The End

Idek what the freak this is, but I thought about it and found it kinda cute. I love yall dearly and I’m sooo grateful for all the love and support. I’ll try and update more often 🙂‍↔️🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[beef-brisket]

((RIP Vox 😂))

Everyone watched as Peter started pulling off the thorns. He'd cackle if he pricked himself.

Lucifer looked over to Adam, but he was suddenly gone. He could tell by the look on Charlie's face that Vox has done this before.

Lucifer: Char- what was that about?

Charlie: Vox has always had a weird thing for Adam. But he said it's only gotten worse since he started helping out here. He even sent Sir Pentious here to spy on us... him... I don't know.

Lucifer: Sir Pentious... the snake?

Angel: Yeah... slippery bastard. I fucking caught him- no one believed me when I said he was up to something... after our fight, Adam looked around and found a watch that Vox was using to talk to Pentious... Adam was the only one who believed me.

Charlie: We're sorry about that Angel, I should have listened to you.

Angel: It's alright, toot. It all worked out in the end, huh? Well... sort of.

Charlie gave Angel a sad smile before everyone slowly went back to the dining room to finish eating.

Lucifer: I'll catch up with you, hun.

Charlie: Okay dad.

Charlie grabbed Vaggies hand, and they both walked back to the dining room. Lucifer smiled at his daughter, he loves seeing her so smittened. It reminds him of when he met Alastor. And Lilith. But he's sure Charlie will have better luck with relationships than him.

Lucifer: Right, let's find this radio demon.

Lucifer looked everywhere. He could find any sign of Adam. But he had one place left to look.

He knocked on his bedroom door. When he didn't hear anything, he slowly opened the door. He doesn't like invading privacy, but he feels like he had to.

Once he's inside, Lucifer eyes that all too familiar bed. He quickly pushes those sinful thoughts down, and quickly glanced around.

He's never properly looked at Adam's bedroom. It's bigger than the normal guest rooms, but not as big as Lucifer's. Everything was either painted black or very dark grey. The large bed wasn't the focus point of the bedroom. Instead, it was a large, Gothic fireplace. It wasn't lit, but in front of two plush chairs, a small table next to each.

There was a simple kitchenette and a library. Lucifer eyed a glass space filled with expensive alcohol and a golden liquid.

On the walls were Victorian looking art, each darker than the next. Their were framed insects from Hell and Earth, and in a display case, there were old medical tools.

But what really caught his eye was a large, open area that looked like a forest. It had golden hue to it, and the ground was covered in white flowers. The trees were lush and golden. Lucifer recognized them as ginko trees.

He slowly crossed the threshold of where the room ended and the forest began. As he wondered, he could hear humming. It sounded beautiful. He was reminded of Liliths signing in Eden. He was in awe of how beautiful this place is. He's never seen anything like it. Was this Adam's doing?

He kept walking, he humming, getting louder. Then he saw it. Adam was sitting on a large swing, using his leg to move himself softly. His eyes were closed, a soft smile on his face.

He looked so beautiful. Lucifer instantly blushed. He couldn't think that. He was still married- sure, it was rough but still. He was married.

Adam nuzzled his face into a tentacle that seemed to hug him, Lucifer just saw a tear run down his face before he wiped it away.

In this light, Lucifer noticed that the tentacles had a golden shimmer to them. They still looked like a mockery of holy power, but they were almost pretty.

His heart broke at how sad Adam looked. All because of Vox? Surely there has to be more to the story.

Lucifer: Uh- hi, Adam.

Lowkey want an au where Adam has Alastors' powers.

The tentacles

The eyes

The changing size

The shadows

The sass

The deal making

Him owning Husk and Nifty

The musical numbers

The radio control

The tentacles- have I mentioned that before?

The rivalry with Lucifer

Maybe he replaces Alastor entirely. No Alastor. Only Adam. It's always been Adam.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

Only Adam lol This is good! His Husk and Nifty could be Lute and Peter.

He doesn't have to smile all the time does he?

Yessss, and he plays rock instead of jazz lol And yes of course there is a rivalry lol

[watermelon-jooce]

OKAY dont flame me for this, but heres a Saiki K hot take that I think shoukd be talked about more.

I feel like people REALLY have to start taking what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka more seriously, because its pretty bad the more you think about it.

⚠️Large TW for emotional manipulation and gr00ming undertones. ⚠️

(‼️if you're gonna debate please read all first‼️)

I can't find the specific panels, but what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka was taking advantage of him, he pried on his insecurities.

Kuusuke was seen telling Toritsuka how much "better" he is than Kusuo, how he has better powers, how he should be put on a pedestal instead of stupid old Kusuo.

Toritsuka is seen before hand disliking his own powers. He want's more from them, he wants them to be less useless. Kuusuke knows this, because Toritsuka is honest and probably told him.

Instead of offering help, he pried in on that insecurity. By telling Toritsuka that he's better than Kusuo, that he's more important, Toritsuka was drawn in so quickly. He'd never really been told or praised for his power before, most people not believing him for being a Medium or others saying his powers are useless.

When Toritsuka was finally told by Kuusuke that he was better, that someone finally believed he was better than the person he always compared himself to.

Toritsuka seems easily impressionable, we don't get to see his father much if at all, and we haven't heard about his mother at all. Im assuming he lives in the temple with little to zero family, being raised by the temple instead of his own parents.

He probably lacked good life lessons, Toritsuka always goes to others for help, he begs because its all he most likely knows how to do.

Kuusuke knows this, and he uses it against him. He knows Toritsuka has a grudge against Kusuo for his powers, he knows Toritsuka is insecure about his own, he knows Toritsuka is vunerable with this information.

And what does he do? He emotionally manipulates Toritsuka into helping him attack Kusuo with the Cat Tank.

Yeah, you could be thinking, well Kuusuke is a bad person mostly in a whole(I could go on and on about why he is the way he is), and that he's bound to manipulate others into doing what he wants, but when you really think about it, Kuusuke is an 19/20 year old adult that took advantage of a 16 year old kid.

Could it be considered that Kuusuke technically groomed Toritsuka? Grooming is not always 'adult takes advantage of a child for something explicit', grooming can be taking advantage of a child for something in return. It's not always for the other, much worse, option, I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler, im saying he groomed Toritsuka to get what he wanted, which was to attack Kusuo.

I have seen someone talk about this before, I can't remember who but someone had mentioned the gravity of it and the strange undertones of what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka, finding a child and taking advantage of his insecurities to get what he wants through emotional manipulation.

I know you could say that 'Kuusuke is about only 19/20, he's not much older than Toritsuka who is 16/17' But that is heavily, heavily besides the point. The point is that Kuusuke is still an adult. Kuusuke is known to be one of the smartest people to live. Toritsuka is a child, and Toritsuka is still in school.

Again, please understand I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler. I don't want people to flame me for 'thinking that.' Kuusuke obviously has a lot of problems of his own, and emotional manipulation is something he is used to doing and probably doesn't even realise he's doing it because it helps him get what he wants.

I can see how its just emotional manipulation, and I am willing to hear anybody out on this and debate(politely), and if i'm wrong I will admit I am wrong.

But AGHH this has really been eating at my brain. Kuusuke manipulating Toritsuka using his insecurities and stuff to get what he wants is just super weird to me. Kuusuke is obviously a more creepy character, and I believe if the anime were more serious it would play a lot more on that fact.

But yeah, this is what I believe what happened. Again, its a really heavy topic so if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out. I was just thinking about it and after seeing one person mention it a while back its been in the back of my mind for a while.

Not saying its wrong to love Kuusuke, I know the fandom is split on him. I personally don't care about whether someone loves him or not, cause one side you can say he got his freak off to his brother, but the other side says he was just excited and not doing anything weird. Kuusuke is a really interesting character and I really wanna do a big essay on him like this soon.

But yeah thats all I had to say, just remember if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out.

(can you guys tell i dont wanna be destroyed)

[lara4eclipze]

“Umaasa”

sypnosis; I searched our place — our home , yet you weren't there , how can I heal a wound made by love?

cw; angst , crush , sad , tears , guilt , freindship falling out, umaasa is a Filipino word that means something like believing, expecting , google it for a more deeper understanding , reconciliation

Now playing; “Umaasa” By Caelin

Manon has been your friend for god knows how long , you moved to Switzerland at a very young age due to some family issues and the very first person you met was her

she was kind , smart and funny — she never failed to make you laugh — she loved painting and most times you two would paint together or just admire the mountains of Switzerland

—✧˖*°࿐

"i know" Manon says dragging out the word

"yeah it's like so stupid — anyways you did the math assignment?" you ask

"no...." Manon replies guilty

"i knew it , heres my notebook give it back before third period okay?" you said handing over your math notebook before walking to the canteen to buy some overpriced chips

you came back to Manon with her favorite soda and some babybel cheese

"aww thanks" she said as an infectious grin spreads on her face

you softly grin back and nod

"anyways—did you see Lara today" Manon ask — yes you were very jelous I mean why Lara? , yes she's perfect but it hurts you

"oh uhm i haven't" you reply your voice quickly changed which didn't go unnoticed to the older

"what's wrong — c'mon don't tell me you don't like Lara too , shes much more better than you know who" Manon reasons out her voice fades out as all you can hear is blah blah blah

"yeah whatever — besides I have to go to class already" you said taking your notebook and walking to your classroom

—✧˖*°࿐

you never really knew why Manon was so drawn in my Lara

she was pretty

smart

and very popular

but despite the point you didn't see why , buzzed by your thoughts you fail to notice the bell ring and it's officially lunch time

"fuck" you gasp as you run out of the classroom remembering your hang out with Megan And Daniela

as you run thru tight corridors and some smelly students you stop dead in your tracks

Manon was with...Lara

against your better judgement you stayed and stared at them anyways , they laughed and got closer as time progressed

why can't it be you?

your last string was when Manon invited Lara to an hang out you made

"fuck this" you whisper , running to Megan and Danielas dorm

—✧˖*°࿐

"I think they're cute" Megan says

"yeah , I mean Manon is like a nerd and Lara's a social butterfly" the latina follows

your frown deepens I mean even your friends think they match , they click like a puzzle piece

"hey why?" Megan says noticing your reaction

"nothing" you replied shortly

"are you guys coming later , at Manon's house?" you ask , you needed atleast friends there you can't bear seeing Manon and Lara together

"yeah , actually it's already 4pm we should get going" Daniela follows looking at her wrist watch "okay then" Megan said afterwards

—✧˖*°࿐

nothing new was happening in the hang out really , just a bunch of eating and screaming over what to watch on the television

"no twilight!" Manon defends

"but we already watched that—9 times! , come on just this once" Sophia pleads

"finee" Manon sighs defeated , it is true that you all already watched twilight more than you can count

the doorbell rings , and in steps Lara how. great. you thought to yourself , the girls gave Manon a knowing look and giggles erupted

maybe you were the problem why can't you be happy for her

were you being selfish?

"damnnn okay Manon" Daniela says , winking at Manon

"hey you might scare her off , come in" Sophia says letting Lara in , she sat next to Manon well atleast when you left the sofa that is

—✧˖*°࿐

the rest of the day you just didn't feel like yourself , you were disassociated

"hey" Yoonchae greets as she sits next to you in the kitchen

"hii Yoon" you respond giving her a smile

"why aren't you out there ,were having fun!" the younger reasons

"jus' not feeling myself, you go back if you need anything just call me okay?" you said trying to brush her off

"that's not true" yoonchae pouts and crosses her arms

"please come outside—i want you to have fun too!" yoonchae follows

inevitably you agree since who can say no to yoonchae , not you

"finally!" Megan says out loud when she saw you go out

"we missed you!" Sophia jokes

"sorry" you apologize earning you nods of understanding

who found it most suspicious was Manon , you weren't like this at all , she noticed how you look like a defeated puppy just sitting there playing with your shirt

—✧˖*°࿐

7:00 pm

"guys I have to go" Lara says looking at the clock on her phone

the other girls try to make her stay but to no avail Lara had to leave

"see you again soon!" Megan says before Lara disappears behind the door

so instead of saying you were leaving you tried sneaking off when the others were busy cooking and watching movies

"ahem"

you hear someone behind you as you open the door

"I need to uhm- buy something - yeah" nope not working

Manon crosses her hands on her chest , having a questioning look on her face

"oh really?" she ask sarcastically

"okay you got me"

"why are you so distant recently, i feel like I did something to make that happen" The older frowns

"hey no you didn't do anything, i just—dont want to ruin what's perfect you know?" you replied not thinking about what she might think

"what do you mean?" she ask , her gears turning and trying to solve what you meant

"Manon I like you, I know you don't feel the same and for the longest time I tried hiding this feeling but it's so strong" you blurt out , you couldn't look at her at all , your eyes were glued to your hands which wee currently holding onto your phone

"you don't need to say anything I'll just go" you follow walking out , as Manon stood there in shock

—✧˖*°࿐

you tried everything crying, avoiding them , even as far as blocking them on your socials but nothing worked every time you breathe all you see is Manon

you haven't talked to anyone in a week , you ignored every calling out they tried

"y/n! wait up!" you hear someone behind you , you try to walk faster but eventually they caught up

"why have you been ignoring us?" Daniela says her chest heaving from running "this isn't even funny anymore" she follows

"I'm sorry just busy I guess" you shrugged hoping she would stop asking questions

"Megan heard what you told Manon last Friday , we know y/n—avoiding us will just make it weirder please talk to us" the latina begs , so they heard? , you couldn't even be mad at them cause thinking about it ignoring them was too much even for you

"I'm sorry — where are the others?" you ask , thinking about apologizing to each and every single one of them

"come" Daniela says holding your hand and running towards the arts room

—✧˖*°࿐

in the room was yoonchae who was drawing with Sophia

Megan who was on her phone probably watching tiktoks

and Manon just sitting there

"hey guys" the latina announced

everyone looks and was surprised to see you , they ran up to you hugging you telling you how much they miss you

"chill guys" you chuckle

"we missed you" yoonchae pouts and you hug her

"sorryy! , to make it up let's go to the mall I'll treat you guys" you said

"I'm busy" Manon buzzed , you were hurt but whatever

"oh. uhm okay , how about you guys?"

"I'm good " the others said

everything was weird Manon started ignoring you too , and partially it was your fault but was it really? when all you wanted was her to feel happy?

—✧˖*°࿐

"oh hey" you bump into Manon as you were buying some iced coffee

"hey , can we maybe talk?" Manon asks

you weren't ready and obviously she wasn't too but against your judgement you agreed, needing closure

"I'm sorry if I avoided you , I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel" Manon starts

"and I don't want us to drift because of that—i hope you don't hold any grudge against me and any of the girls" she follows with a smile on her face

"I'm sorry too , i wish you the best obviously, you know I can't leave you" you giggle

as stupid as it sounds you still stayed and befriend her , you loved Manon but if god didn't destined you two why force it? , surely there are other people who would love you the same way you loved Manon but until then your still waiting for the time you find that person.

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

The Boss Part 4 -Oneshot

Word count: 1915

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

“I don’t understand why this is a big deal,” Bucky groaned, picking up his work bag and adjusting his suit jacket.

“What do you mean?  It’s a big deal in any relationship,” Y/N said incredulously.  “Meeting the family is a big step.”

“It’s just Sunday brunch with my sister,” Bucky said, giving her an unimpressed look.

“The sister that I know so little about, other than the fact that she and I have similar traumatic experiences and she’s a designer.  Yeah, I’m feeling really prepared,” Y/N replied sarcastically, grabbing her own bag and walking to the garage.  Bucky was right behind her, unlocking the car and sighing heavily.  Y/N rolled her eyes.  

“Why would you need to be prepared?  It’s not a business lunch.  You just be yourself.  I think you both would get along really well,” he continued as he pulled the car out of the garage.

“Sure.  We’re out of the house, no more home talk,” Y/N said, trying to shut down the conversation.

Bucky gave her a frustrated glance before putting it in drive and taking off.  The drive was silent, which was out of the ordinary.  Y/N knew she was being a little ridiculous.  It was just a brunch.  With his sister.  But she didn’t know much about her.  And meeting new people, especially people that were important to Bucky, was always nerve-wracking.  What if they didn’t get along?  What if his sister hated her?  What if she saw something in Y/N that Bucky didn’t see and told him he deserved better or should find somebody else?  As secure in her relationship as she felt, this was introducing a new dynamic into it, something deeper and more serious between them.  

During the work day Y/N was much quieter and curt with Bucky.  Her regular friendly, polite banter was gone, and she was getting looks from others in the office.  “Are you okay, Y/N?” Steve asked while they were both in the break room getting lunch.

“What?  I’m fine,” Y/N said, frowning at him.

He gave her an arched eyebrow.  “Uh huh,” he said, unconvinced.  “Trouble at home?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.  Steve was the only one who knew that she and Bucky were together.  “Did he say something to you?” she asked him.

“No.  But neither of you are good at keeping a straight face,” he replied.  

“Good to know,” she huffed and grabbed her food.  “Bye Steve.”

“Bye Y/N,” he sing-songed back at her as she marched out of the break room.  She walked out of the office to the hallway leading to the elevators, then quickly veered into the stairwell.  She sat down on the steps, using her legs as a tray to eat her food.  She just wanted some peace and quiet for a moment as she ate.

“What are you doing in here?” Bucky’s voice echoed through the stairwell as he opened the door.

“Eating lunch,” Y/N said around a big bite in her mouth.  

“No shit Sherlock.  Why are you in the stairwell?” Bucky asked sharply.

Y/N took her time chewing then swallowing her bite.  “Just wanted some alone time.  I still have 20 minutes for lunch.  I’ll be in soon.”

Bucky watched her silently, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze, focusing on her food and taking another big bite.  “This is ridiculous,” he griped, then walked down the stairs enough to be at eye level with her.  “Quit acting like you’re this shy, nervous little thing that can’t handle meeting new people.  It’s just Becca.  I don’t understand why you’re so worried about it.”

“Uh uh uh, Mr. Barnes.  We’re at work.  No home conversations at the office,” Y/N said, taking another bite.  “But that’s good I know her name now.”

Bucky blinked, his jaw tight as he glared at her.  “Okay, you’ve made your point.  I haven’t told you much about her because I didn’t feel like it was my place.  But she’s the only family I have left, and I want the two most important women in my life to know each other.”  Y/N glanced at him at those words, seeing how serious he was.  She didn’t say anything, and his frown deepened.  “So you’ll suck me off at work, but you won’t talk to me about anything personal?”

Her eyes widened at him mentioning their sexual moment weeks before late at night in his office.  She glared back at him before standing up.  “Don’t be an asshole.  You’re the one who said work is work, and home is home.  I was just following orders, boss.”  She turned to walk toward the stairwell door, opening the door then slamming it shut behind her.  She marched back into Bucky’s office, grabbing her things before going back up to the front.  Bucky was just walking back in as she came out.  “Kamala, I’m not feeling well.  I’ll forward Mr. Barnes’ meeting schedule to you so you’re aware of who is coming in and when for today,” Y/N said, tapping the counter to Kamala’s desk.

“Oh, I’m sorry, well get feeling better!” Kamala said, giving her a sad look.

“Thank you,” Y/N said.  She gave Bucky a hard look before walking back out of the reception area to the elevators.  Bucky was right on her heels.

“So now you’re just running away?” Bucky accused when she pushed the button for the elevator.  

“No, I’m taking some time to collect myself,” Y/N said, keeping her tone as professional as possible.  

“Y/N–” “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” Y/N retorted as the doors opened for the elevator.  She stepped inside and pushed the main level floor button.

“How are you going to get home?” Bucky asked, holding the door open with his hand. 

“I’m not going home,” Y/N said quietly.

Bucky’s face twisted from frustration to sadness.  “Doll–”

“Don’t,” Y/N said, reaching up and moving his hand away.  The doors closed on him, his sad eyes haunting her.  Y/N gritted her teeth as the elevator moved down, literally biting back tears.  When the doors opened she left the building, ordering an Uber.  She had given up her apartment months ago after the whole debacle with her ex-boyfriend stalking her, so she had nowhere else to go.  But that didn’t matter.  The Uber brought her to Bucky’s house, where she ran in and packed a light, weekend bag before getting back in and was later dropped off at a nice hotel.  Now seemed as good a time as any for a short vacation.

***

Later that night as she was cuddled in bed in her bathrobe, finishing her last bit of room service dinner, a call came to her room phone.  Y/N frowned at the phone, waiting until the second ring before reaching over and grabbing it.  “Hello?”

“Hello, Miss Y/L/N?  This is Gwen, one of the front desk receptionists?”

“Uh, yes, how can I help you?”

“There’s a man here who says he’s here to see you.  James Barnes?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.  Of course he knew where she was.  She had forgotten that her location was still enabled on the work phone, sitting right next to her on the nightstand.  “Yeah, you can send him up,” she sighed.

“Okay, thank you.”  

Y/N shifted herself up and out of the bed, annoyed at having to move from her comfortable position.  She adjusted her robe and paused the show she was watching on the TV when she heard a knock on her door.  She took a deep breath to steady her thundering heart as she walked over, unlocked the door and opened it.  Bucky stood there in casual clothes and holding a backpack, a sad expression on his face as his gaze met hers.

They stood staring at each other for a long moment.  Bucky swallowed harshly, then took a step toward her.  “Doll,” he started.  Y/N inhaled deeply.  “Can I come in?”

She paused for a moment then nodded, stepping back to give him room to walk in.  Bucky gave her a small smile and walked around her into the room.  Y/N closed the door and followed him inside.  He stood waiting for her, and as she sat back down on the bed she gestured for him to sit on the chair across from her at the sitting area.  He quickly sat down, leaning on his elbows against his knees.  Y/N didn’t know what to say, so she just waited.  Bucky gnawed on his lower lip before sighing.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he said quietly.  “I’ve been thinking about it all day, and…I shouldn’t have gotten angry or defensive over it.  Meeting family is a big step, so I understand why you would be worried or stressed.  I meant what I said, though.  You and Becca are the most important people in my life.  I just thought that maybe, since things with us have been getting pretty serious, that it was time to introduce you to her.”

Y/N nodded, looking down at her hands.  “I’m sorry, too.  I just panicked.  You’ve given me no reason to be worried or stressed about it, I just…I don’t know.”  She shook her head, upset with herself.  “And then I freaked out and ran away.  I don’t know how to do this whole healthy communication thing.  I’ve never experienced it before.”

Bucky stood and walked to the bed, sitting next to her.  He slowly reached a hand out and gently grasped her hand closest to him.  “It’s gonna take practice, for both of us.  And we’re going to mess up sometimes, like today.  But I, I love you,” he said, squeezing her hand.  “I don’t want to lose you over something that we can fix.  So…can we just try this again?”

Y/N smiled.  “Yeah.”

Buck smiled at her.  “Okay.  So, I was thinking about inviting my sister to Sunday brunch at that bottomless mimosa place you love.  Would you be okay with that?”

Y/N squinted her eyes teasingly.  “So…officially meeting the family?  That’s kind of a big step, don’t you think?”

Bucky huffed a laugh.  “Yeah, it is.  But it’s a step I wanna take with you.”

Y/N’s cheeks were starting to hurt with how hard she was smiling.  “Okay,” she agreed.

He smiled brightly back at her.  “Awesome.  You’re gonna love her.  Her name is Becca.  She’s older than me by two years.  Very smart and artistic.  She designed my house, you know?” He joked, winking at her.

“She did?” Y/N joked back.  “Wow.  And she must be really pretty if she looks anything like you.”  

Bucky blushed at the compliment.  “You tryna sweeten me up?” he smirked.

“Maybe a little bit,” Y/N said, turning to face him more.  She lifted her free hand and traced it up his arm holding her other hand to his shoulder then across his chest.  “I love you,” she said quietly, leaning over and kissing his shoulder.

Bucky smiled softly at her.  “I love you, doll.”  

She glanced at the backpack he brought.  “Did you pack up some stuff just in case I let you stay?”

“Yep,” Bucky said shamelessly.  “I can’t really sleep without you.”  He suddenly pushed her back onto the bed and tucked her into his side.  “Thank you for agreeing to meet her.”

Y/N smiled.  “I’m sure it’ll be great.”

[snzunii]

goodnight n go ( ran h. ) — part two.

it's really bad that you get along so well.

tags. romance, angst, betrayal, hurt/comfort, established relationship, explicit sexual content, bonten!ran, detective!reader, canon-typical violence, crimes and criminals, drugs, smoking, drinking, illegal activities, EIGHTEEN PLUS ONLY.

“Baby. Wake up.” you stirred in your sleep, trying to pull the blanket over your head just so you couldn't hear your boyfriend, whispering in your ear to get the fuck up. “YN.”

“Leave me alone, Ran.” you mumbled, getting anything that you could reach just to cover your face but he’s one step ahead of you, there's nothing left for you to cover your head with. “Fuck.”

You heard him laugh, you felt the bed sink as he sat beside you. “Breakfast’s ready. Come on.”

But you didn't want to stand up. You just want to stay in bed and rot with him. Is that so bad? You haven't had the chance to see and be with each other this long, is it so bad to have one day for the two of you? 

It isn't, right?

“Can we just stay in? We don't have to go to work today, right?”

You weren't that serious—okay, maybe you are. But you didn't think that Ran would lay down beside you and go along with what shenanigans you wanted to do today, “Okay.”

“What, okay?”

“Let’s stay in today.” 

“Really? Aren't you like, needed for work because, I don't know, your boss is a pain in the ass?” you asked him with a wide smile, you looked at him and you saw his pretty eyes looking at you—you suddenly felt conscious, you just woke up, you haven't even brushed your teeth yet.

But he’s still looking at you like you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. 

“Yeah. But that’s a problem for tomorrow.” he smirked, leaning in to kiss you but you pulled away and that made him frown, “What?”

You covered your mouth with your hand, “Bad breath.” you said with a muffled voice.

“The fuck I care, kiss me.” he says and pulls your hand away, you giggled and let him press his lips gently into yours—he bites your lip, and you close your eyes, draping your arm over his neck, pulling him close to you.

You both pulled away, gasping for air. “Yeah, you should brush your teeth.”

“Ran!”

“Kidding.”

You rolled your eyes at him and he just laughed at you, “You’re such a brat.”

“But you love me.” you said, closing your eyes again.

“Hmm. You’re going to sleep again?” you feel his arm slipping under your head, making it your pillow, “Don't you wanna eat first?”

“Too sleepy.” you murmured, “Wake me up in five minutes, ‘kay?”

You didn't hear him answer but  it’s not long until you hear him say your name again.

“YN.”

You open your eyes, and there you are in front of him—with a gun in his hand. How the fuck did you get here?

“Ran.”

Ran held your wrist, pulling you away from the watching eyes. He knows they're not going to do anything—and they know that Ran’s not going to let you go that easily.

Even though you’re his girlfriend, Ran is in too deep in this shit—yeah, they think he’s stupid for having a detective girlfriend—but they know he wouldn't turn that easily, maybe.

You compromised their location, you found them. You could’ve called for back up the moment you saw the guy that you arrested back then, but all that you were thinking of was Ran. You could just easily point your gun to any of them but you didn't do any of that.

They know you wouldn't do that to Ran. They don't know you that much, but the look in your eyes was enough for them to know that you wouldn't just give him up—even if it’s the right thing to do.

You didn't pull away or protest—you didn't push him away, there were no arguments as he pulled you into the other room, with no other people, just the two of you. “YN—”

Instead of you speaking, your palms met his face over and over. “Fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you—”

“Stop.” he says, holding both your wrists. “Stop, YN.”

“Why the fuck would you do this to me? How could you?” your voice was small and shaky, your tears falling continuously, “Why the fuck would you keep something like this from me? You know how hard I worked, you know all of it, then you…?”

You look at him, and you see that he’s Ran… but he’s different. He’s like a stranger, a stranger with a familiar face. A stranger that you touch, you hold, you confide in—that you know—a stranger you love.

Ran couldn't find the words that he wanted to say. He hid this from you because he was selfish—he wanted to keep you, he wanted to be close to you.

If he could live this double life forever just to keep you, then he probably would. 

He was different when he was with you, but that doesn't change the fact that he’s a horrible person who’s done a lot of horrible things, right? That’s how you see him now. “I wanted to protect you—”

“Protect me?” you laughed bitterly, “You really think that you keeping all of this from is protecting me? No, you're lying to me! Deceiving me, you were there every night! Listening to me struggle and you’re one of them?! Why, Ran? Why—”

“Because!” he slammed his hand on the table, “Because I fucking love you! I know it’s bullshit, I’m a fucking horrible person! How the fuck am I capable of love? But I do! I do love you and it’s so frustrating hiding all of this from you!”

You ignored what he said. Because if you did choose to acknowledge all that, you would’ve easily run into his arms—turn your back on your morals and just go with him wherever.

You’re too stupid and heartbroken to think straight that all you wanted to do was to touch him. You wanted him to hold you in his arms and tell you all the things he’s said before, that he’s there… that you’ve got nothing to worry about as long as you’re with him.

You can feel your chest closing in on you, it’s like you’re being suffocated to death that you needed to get out. “I need to leave.”

“You can't do that.” he said, holding your wrist when you were about to walk out the door. You tried to swat his hand away but he kept his hold on you, well, you really can't leave this place—it’s not that easy.

And maybe, he was afraid that if he let you leave—if he let you walk out that door, you’d be gone forever. 

From him… from his life. 

“Let me go!” you yelled, trying to wriggle out of his touch, but he pulled you into the couch, “The fuck—”

“I can't let you do that!” he shouted back, “Do you think you could just walk out of here? Do you think they wouldn't fucking kill you the moment you step out of this building?”

“Okay.” you said quietly, almost a whisper but enough for him to hear you, “Can you just please… let go of my hand.”

Ran sat in front of you, on his knees. “YN. Listen to me.”

“What?” your voice cracks, your tears still falling at the side of your eyes, you try to look at him, but every time you do, you feel like sobbing—so you look away. 

“I love you.” he whispered, “I love you.” 

That was all he could say because that is the truth. The only thing in his life that he didn't lie about to you.

You finally look at him, he smiles at you like he didn't do anything wrong—like with just one smile from him, everything will be okay.

And it’s not. Nothing’s ever going to make this okay.

“I love you, YN.” he cups your cheek and you don't pull away, his thumb brushing away the tears streaming down your face. His touch was familiar, it was comforting—just how it was before. “Please, don't leave. Just stay, hm? Stay.”

You have never seen him so… desperate, that he might just die if you didn't give in. But he had to try, if losing his dignity was the only way for you to stay then he would.

But it was a big thing. It’s a big selfish thing to overlook all the things that he had done, and you don't know if you could live with yourself with all of this.

But, it’s Ran. How could you do this to him? How could you leave him?

It’s Ran, for fuck’s sake. It’s Ran, you love him. You’d do everything for him. You’d jump off a cliff for him. 

It’s him, you were going to build a family with him. He was there for you, the only one there when you were basically empty. When you had nothing, he was the only one there. So… how?

How could you even think about this?

It’s Ran. 

There’s no question about that. 

Fuck, YN. Think.

Think.

“YN—” you cut him off by pressing your lips into him, you drape your arm over his neck to pull him close. 

You tug on his tie and deepens the kiss because fuck it. You both pull away to breathe, he presses his forehead against yours, you close your eyes and just try to feel him.

Just try to forget all the things that were happening. 

His lips find yours again, but this time he was kissing you so hungrily, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip as if he was craving you for a very long time, your fingers unbuttoning his suit—you feel the cushion on your back as he towers over you.

His kisses travel down your neck, his hands unbuttoning—no, more like ripping your blouse, favorite blouse, open and pulling your pants down—ridding you of your clothes, you bite back a moan when his hands squeeze the swell of your clothed tits. 

“Let me hear you.” he groaned, you can feel the vibrations on your skin, it’s as if you feel the nerve impulses all throughout your body. “Fuck, please.”

“Please, baby.” here you are legs sprawled open, under him but he’s the one pleading you, was he always this desperate for you?

His hands sets your panties aside, his fingers finding your swollen clit, drawing circles, trying to get just one fucking noise from you.

Finally, you gasp, your fingers gripping his hair as he pushes his fingers in and out of your cunt. Fuck, yes he was always this desperate.

Always so desperate to make you moan his name, always desperate to see your finger-fucked out face—he’s the only one who could make you like this, what makes you think that he would ever let go of you?

Why would he ever let go of you when you're so beautiful and helpless under him? Getting fucked ruthlessly, your legs hanging on his shoulder as he pump his cock in and out of your pussy?

“R-Ran, fuck! Please, slow down—ah!”  you were a fucking mess, sobbing—mumbling all the right words that should come out of your mouth when he’s hitting all the right, sensitive spot inside you. 

But it seems so hard to hear all your pleas when his hips slams into you like this, both your skin slapping, your wet pussy squelching when his dick slams inside you—it was too good, too good for him to stop, too fucking good to listen to you plead him to slow down, not when he can feel your cunt sucking him in.

You weren't sure anymore where you are, all you could see was your boyfriend’s face, fucking the life out of you.

Every grunt he was making passes through your ears and travels throughout your body. It was too much, you were exhausted—too exhausted to be in the right mind. Too tired to think if this is even right, if you should be even getting fucked right now.

You were already mumbling incoherent words when he switch your positions out, you were all on fours holding on the cushion while he fucks you raw from the back, he leans forward, squeezes your tits and pushes you against his chest.

“...too much, baby, slow down.” you whimpered, if only you could see the look on his face, “Ran, baby, please.”

“Tell me you’re mine.” he grunts, his voice hoarse—his breath was warm against your skin, “You're not going to leave, are you? ‘S too good, right?”

“‘m not, baby.” you gasp, your stomach churning as you feel his thrusts slow down, so agonizingly slow that you feel like he’s fucking with you, “‘m not going to leave. I love you.”

“Fuck!” he slammed his cock deeper, holding both your hips as he fucks you harder and harder, “Fuck, fuck—say that again. Say you fucking love me.”

“I love you,” you breathlessly say, “I fucking love you.”

…

You were just there sitting in silence—you, only wearing his coat, hands intertwined as you lean your head on his shoulder.

No one was speaking, you were bathing in the solace of just being there—together. It’s as if nothing happened, it’s as if you’re not going to make a big decision that’s going to affect your lives together.

Ran was the first one to speak, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?” you answer mindlessly.

“You said,” he paused, “You’re not going to leave, did you mean it?”

You don't answer him because you don't know. You have no idea if you mean it or not, all you know is you just wanted to stay here for a moment and not think about anything.

He squeezes your hand, his thumb caressing your skin, he holds on to you tight as if he’s going to lose you and holding on to you was the only way for you not to slip away. 

“He’s my brother. The one with the long hair, similar color to mine.”

“I figured.” you whispered, “He looks a lot like you.”

“Yeah?” you hummed. “I guess.”

“Are we going to stay here forever?” you asked, “I’m hungry. I was going to cook dinner but…”

“You, cooking?” you heard him chuckle, “You sure about that?”

You immediately looked at him with a glare, “Excuse me?”

Your gaze softened when you saw that annoying smile on his face, just like that, it’s like everything was normal. It’s like you were on the bubble again, just the two of you—him teasing you, you being a brat but succumbs to him, and smiles back at him anyway.

But then you remember all the things that he lied about, all the things that you found out and all the things that you are about to find out. 

“I love you.” he says. “I love you so much that I don't know what I’m going to do if I lose you… am I? Losing you?”

“I don't know,” your voice was small, almost silent just like the room that surrounds you, “Would you let me go? Would you let yourself lose me?”

The silence settled once again. He looks into your eyes, and if you looked closely you could almost see the vulnerability inside. 

He’s Ran Haitani, he’s feared by some people. Even you figured that out. But when it comes to you, he’s not afraid to look stupid—he’s not afraid to beg you not to leave him.

You leaned your forehead against his, closing your eyes as you felt the ache in your chest. If it’s only that simple, if only you could say yes that easily.

You took a shaky breath as you felt your tears once again, “How do we do this, Ran? How do I love you like this?”

Ran doesn't know either. How could you love him when he’s this? But he’s too selfish to let you go, he’s too caught up in this mess that he holds on to you because you’re the only thing in his life that makes sense.

“Do you want to leave?”

“Leave?”

“We’ll leave. We’ll run away, me and you.” 

Hearing him say those words just added to the pain you were feeling. He’s ready to risk it all for you. But this is wrong. “Why are you making it so hard for me to love you?” 

Leaving isn't the solution, because one way or another, they're going to find you and that would probably end with the two of you dying. But if that’s what it takes to keep you, then he would gladly leave.

You can see the pain in his eyes, in those eyes that hold so much adoration for you. He pulls you in, your head leaning on his chest. You close your eyes as you listen to his heart beat, it was once again comforting, but it shouldn't be. It shouldn't.

 “Then just let me love you enough for the both of us, hm?”

[ameagrice]

Capsize

percy jackson x fem reader

chapter thirty-seven | out of the grave, into the woods.

It’s September 9th, and two days have passed since Percy. Chiron tells you to have hope; maybe he escaped before the place went kaboom. You didn’t see a body, so you should keep the hope alive. You viciously respond that no, there wouldn’t be a body if it was blown to a million pieces, would there?

You eat more than you ever have. The week that passed in the maze had been particularly busy, so much so you’d scarcely had time to eat anything proper. It’s nice to stuff your face, sitting with Annabeth in comfortable silence.

Everyone knows. Everybody knows what happened, by September 9th. Chiron holds a small meeting and explains exactly what happened to the others. Some suggest sending searchers down into the maze to continue what you couldn’t, but Chiron declines the suggestion under the excuse that it’s too dangerous as of late. Percy will turn up eventually, he concludes.

“Have faith,” he sighs, looking around the room. His eyes land on you, where you sit with folded arms and bloodshot eyes nestled between Annabeth and Travis.

It’s hard to do when your mother refuses to answer your prayers. You pray every night for Grover and Percy’s safe return, all week, every morning. You beg any god that will listen to just grant you this one thing, and allow Percy to still be breathing. A tense week passes, and at the week mark—September 14th—since you came out of the maze, hope is beginning to wane. You see it in Chiron’s face with every falsely enthusiastic speech, and in your friends. Annabeth helps you to make a new weapon in the armoury, a lean, light sword made of celestial bronze. You’re working on convincing one of the other campers to charm it to make it smaller, taking inspiration from Riptide. Convenience is key.

By September 15th, people have lost hope. A whole week of people trying to come home should have shown some signs, at least. Another week passes, with no such luck. And then a third. You barely move from the Big House, not really feeling much up to participating in activities and practice fights. You’re just getting into reading a new book, scrunched up in the chair on the porch, when Chiron approaches you, with a solemn look on his face.

“Another book?” He tries for a smile. You see right through him, raising your eyes above the line of your book. There seem to be more stress lines under his eyes. “That’s the third this week alone.”

You raise it a little higher. “I like reading. You can get lost in books pretty easy.”

“I like a good read myself,” he admits. “Maybe not three six-hundred-pagers a week, though.”

Now, you do smile. Just a little.

“I didn’t come here just to halt your peace, my dear. I wanted to talk to you about Percy, and Grover.”

Of course. It’s all anybody wants to talk about with you.

You snap shut the book and pay Chiron all your attention. “Okay.”

He eyeballs the ground for a second. “I think it’s time that we begin to build up a burial shroud for Percy, and begin the proceedings for Grover. Three weeks is…it is unlikely for them to come back to us now. A week, a week and a half at most, is the usual waiting time for heroes to return. I’ve seen this many times before, my dear. Three weeks is too long. It’s time we pay our respects to our friends.”

It’s a hard pill to swallow. You feel your heart stammer in the ribcage, tiny shooting pains going haywire. You’ve had these pains all of three weeks—Chiron calls them a reaction to stress, and grief. It’s why he encouraged so much rest, so little training. Your eyes fill with strong tears and your throat thickens.

“Okay,” you manage. A leaded weight pulls your innards down, and something else grinds them together. You feel overcome with hopelessness, a feeling alike deep and terrible sadness, gut-wrenching. You only want to cry until you can’t cry anymore.

“As Percy’s longest friend,” he continues with a hard swallow, “I wanted to ask you personally, if you’d like to create his burial shroud. As an honor to him.”

You want, in that moment, your dad. You want the comfort of a parent, even though you know you won’t get so much as a hug from him. You want home.

You ask Annabeth to help you in making Percy’s burial shroud. A heaviness settles over camp the next day, and everyone you talk to or pass by offers you a sympathetic look, a hand on the shoulder. Together, you pick out sea-green fabric, and tie in some gentle details of deeper greens and little dashes of blue. You find it in yourself to delve bravely into his left-behind cabin, and dig a seashell from the wall beside the statue of his father. It’s a creamy-pale colour, and lined with streaks of red and pale peach, engrained with bits of sand like it had just come directly from the beach. You weave a few into the fabric until your fingers are sore and pricked with blood. It’s all very factual, death and its proceedings. You find yourself zoning out, staring at the soft material in your hands and thinking of absolutely nothing, at times. Annabeth gently says your name, and pulls the needle from your bloody finger. It takes all day to make it perfect, but you finally complete the burial shroud, and tie it off with a pretty bit of creme ribbon and sea rope.

For Grover, it’s different, and Annabeth carries this one forward better than you because she’d known him for a long time, a hell of a lot longer than you knew Grover. She sits down on the sofa, and almost tears the earthy-green and gold fabric with how forcefully she grips it. Annabeth acts normally, but her lip trembles. She presses them together to stop it, reaching out to the table between you both for the needle.

By evening, just as the sun is going down and the sky is burning orange, you’re finished with Percy’s shroud, and Annabeth is finished with Grover’s. They’re not due to be burned until tomorrow evening, but Chiron said it was in everybody’s best interests to finish them sooner rather than later. It would make the process of burning them a lot easier to handle, apparently. You’re but a second away from blowing up, taking action with screaming and hacking at the strawberry fields; so, anything to lighten the situation, really.

“We should really get some food before curfew,” Annabeth set aside Grover’s shroud. “C’mon. They’ll be looking for us if we don’t turn up, and you know what Travis has been like, worrying this week.”

You huff a short laugh. “Guy hasn’t stopped.”

It was true. He’d been so attentive to your every want and thought that you felt somewhat guilty for dropping him the way you had done to accompany Percy into the maze. You felt like such a terrible friend, recently. But if Travis was holding it against you, he didn’t show it a bit. Ever the selfless.

Your stomach growls painfully, prompting you to stand and hold Percy’s shroud for another second or so, before dropping it safely next to Grover’s. The silky material slips from your fingers and hits the table carefully. The clock above the door tells you it’s nearly seven o’clock at night, and you haven’t eaten a thing since breakfast.

Annabeth is long gone by the time you force yourself to leave the room. You can see her in the distance, walking to the dining pavilion. You stop against a wall, breathing deeply and exhaling heavily, just taking in the air. It smells of pine trees and strawberries, and something warm. The sky is burnt orange and lined with golden clouds. An otherwise perfect evening, if you weren’t hearing Grover’s voice in the back of your mind.

He’s shouting your name, so distantly it feels like he isn’t even there at all. You wish you could help him. His voice grows louder, and closer. You begin up the hill just as you hear breathing—hard, heaving breathing like the person it’s coming from has ran a marathon.

You spin, somewhat startled, and your jaw drops so hard you think it might have landed in Tartarus. “G—GROVER?!” He’s really here. Really! With sweaty hair, missing a sleeve of his jacket, but he’s here in person. Grover is alive. “Holy cows. Holy cows. Holy cows—”

“I did pray to some holy cows, actually,” he nods out of breath. Grover puts his hands on his hips, tilting his head back. The sun is setting very quickly, and really it’s nothing special tonight compared to every other night, but to Grover, it must be amazing.

All the breath he gets back in his lungs is swiftly knocked right back out again. You lunge for him, the relief falling like a heaviness from your shoulders. Grover is a little bonier under your hugging arms than the last time you were together, but he’s in one piece and here in front of you, and it’s more than you could ask for given the circumstances.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” you breathe. With your heart beating ten-to-the-dozen, it’s difficult to discern whether you’re about to have a heart attack, or if you’re developing some sort of condition from all the scares. “Really. It’s good to see you.”

He’s shocked. Of course he is; you’ve barely shown even camaraderie towards Grover before. You think it might be time to change your tune.

“I wasn’t sure you’d gotten out,” he sighed, pulling back. “I’m so sorry for leaving the two of you, but look—I found him. I really did. I found Pan.”

You blanch. Not solely from his insinuation that both you and Percy got out, but that he found what he’d been looking for. You can’t help smiling.

“Really? You’re sure?”

“One hundred percent!”

“We should go tell Chiron, then.”

Heaviness settles in your gut the closer you get to the dining pavilion. You figured that’s where Chiron will be—eating like nothing’s wrong. You haven’t eaten properly in days.

Everybody is seated by the time you arrive. Chiron is, as you’d guessed, at the table and eating as well. It must be the movement from the corner of his eye that turns his head to face you, and it’s a result: he sees Grover; tired, drooping-at-the-shoulders Grover. Chiron stands so abruptly that the table shrieks, the legs scraping against the floor, and campers groan and cover their ears, turning to face the commotion. They follow the leader’s direction, and see him too. The sky is burning, the clouds on fire, and fire in the heart flickers.

A great deal of clamour comes next. It’s all very factual, in the after. They yell Grover’s name and people come running, some in relief, some in disbelief, and some in excitement.

He eats his heart out at the head table, and nobody bothers him. You sit together and for a little while you laugh. Annabeth smiles so hard her cheeks must hurt, and the three of you manage to relieve the last few days and weeks with some joy, especially now Grover has found what he’d been looking for.

It doesnt change the fact that you go to bed with a heavy heart and a sorrowful stomach, and don’t get a wink of good sleep, tossing and turning until the cows come home. When morning comes, you’re sore-eyed and sore of heart, dressing in jeans and a sweatshirt despite the warmth of camp itself. On a day where all eyes will be on you, it’s comforting to feel somewhat sheltered by sleeves and neckline.

You don’t eat breakfast, though your stomach grumbles and whines, and you can barely manage to get a glass of apple juice down. People are casting you looks from every table, because they all know what you’re about to do. After all, his burial shroud is only metres away, folded neatly in a small box before the open fire pit.

Finally, after breakfast of little words to anybody, Chiron smiles somewhat skewedly and directs everyone to crowd at the pit. A few girls from the Aphrodite cabin are crying crocodile tears, pretending they’re oh-so-sad over the loss of Percy, though they haven’t spoken to him before, or if they have—only to ridicule him for tripping during track, or letting an arrow fly too early. Silly little things really, that make Percy, Percy. And you miss him.

You barely notice that Chiron is speaking until he’s finished. The soft blue is in your hands, palms up to the sky. You hope they’re watching.

It smells of smoke that will stick to your hair and clothes, of flames that burn your hands even this far out. Orange, yellow, and wicked red all dancing together in the grate like it’s a terrible little party just for Percy.

You have to clear your throat out hard, it having been in disuse since yesterday. Sets of eyes are on you, big and waiting. A few Aphrodite girls are pulling sneering expressions, because they’re not fans of other girls being the centre of attention.

“Uh—well,” you start, wondering why on earth you hadn’t prepared something earlier. There’s a hard lump in your throat, rolling around and around and around and you think you might choke on it. “Percy was my best friend. He meant a lot to all of us, a great deal, actually. I can’t think of one moment where Percy…”

And suddenly you can’t think at all. There’s pressure behind your eyes burning away like the fire in the grate. Your stomach hurts because you’re so hungry you’re starving. The brain fog because of this is alarming, and you can feel the casual facade start to falter. Why can’t you find the words.

You cough a jarring laugh. Annabeth whispers your name from just the front row, moving to get in your line of vision, concerned. She’s upset but she’s holding it together much better than you are.

The blue in your hands is beginning to absorb the sweat from your skin. “Percy was…there are no words. I think his actions said more, anyway, if I’m honest. Truth be told,” you finally look up from your shaking hands, “truth be told, those of us who knew Percy properly already knew that. Percy was just—”

When you lift your eyes just behind the crowd, you begin to notice something strange. A figure. A boy, in immaculate clothing and tanned like he’d just spent a week at the beach. His shirt is ironed and crisp, and a thin circle of white shells is clasped around a wrist.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Annabeth urges. Her voice shakes when she carefully pulls you aside. “You don’t have to do this. It isn’t fair.”

But your eyes are stuck glued to the boy getting closer, so close that you can make out the green of the eyes you’d recognise absolutely anywhere.

“He’s right there.”

“I know, it’s fine, I can take this.”

She attempts to pry the material from you, but you’re not having it. Clenched in your fists, you nod to the distance, as the lightheaded feeling grows.

“Percy’s here. Percy’s here.”

Heads turn. Bodies shift. Chiron moves through the crowd and pales considerably because he sees what you see. At last, people gasp, people yell out, people rush forward to surround him. But he only has eyes for you, and they’re glossy ones at that.

Your head spins. “Dear god, I think I need to sit down.”

And indeed, down you go.

—

This chapter’s title is taken from the acoustic song ‘the let go’ by Elle King. https://youtu.be/RcnUJTIyjXs?si=HO1lzccJfsaF6SbQ (1.18 seconds)

Taglist:

@bl6o6dy @embersparklz @lilyevanswhore @rottenstyx @rory-cakes @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @marshmallow12435 @lantsovheiress @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @twsssmlmaa @gayandfairycore @padsfirewhisky @emu281 @charlesswife @jessiegerl @tojismassivemantiddies @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @nothankyou138 @obxstiles @mxltifxnd0m @cxcillia @itzjustj-1000 @sp00kcanwrite @randomesthings @fratbrochrisgf @prongsflower @bugszi

[toxintouch]

Cooking headcannons for touchstarved Li’s when? 👀

Apparently now, anon! Some Cooking/Baking/General Meal Time headcanons. Sorry as always that I am so late, lol. I got distracted by Halloween/October things. ✦✦✦✦✦

Vere: ✦ Canonically, he’s bad at it. But W H Y?? ✦ When I thought about why Vere might be a bad cook I decided he is likely the kind to get distracted, try to make everything at once, get bored with the instructions, etc. It's not the kind of food he craves, so cooking is very low-stakes to him. ✦ I’m trying to decide if I think his sense of taste is remarkably different from a human. Since his nose is impeccable, he SHOULD be able to determine if something is going to be good or not… ✦ Perhaps the real issue standing in his way is: Human food does not satiate him.

✦ Though he does have human foods he likes to eat. He's a texture person.  Loves a delicate texture, easy to slice through with his fangs.  Something supple. ✦ When he gets the cooking urge, he cooks a ton of food at once. Absolutely no intention of eating most of it. ✦ MC: “Who is going to eat this?”   Vere: “I’ve been fairly blatant about my interest in doing so, but you are willfully obtuse.” ✦ If you'll allow me to quote myself:

"Vere cooks how others might enjoy a leisurely stroll. 

Which is to say: he seems to be having fun, but you’re not convinced he intends on really going anywhere." The journey is often the destination. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: (If he likes you:) "I suppose. If you think you have the stamina." If he doesn't like you it's still a yes but you're the meal. ✦ If you're helping him cook, BE CAREFUL WITH THE KNIFE!  If you nick yourself and draw blood...you might get more than you bargained for...

Leander: ✦ The fandom has spoken. This man can't cook. He's just...too innovative.~ He could follow a recipe. He won't...but he could. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: He actually sounds awkward for a moment. “Ooohh, uh... you want to cook together?”  But he bounces back quickly.  “Of course we can do that! Sounds like fun. I’m sure our favorite barkeep won’t mind, we can use the kitchen here!”  (She minds.  She looks in on the two of you frequently to make sure you’re not going to burn the Wick down.) ✦ If you know your way around the kitchen already, he's happy to take a backseat. :) He measures out ingredients and has them all neatly ready for you. ✦ If you make him take the lead: Is that sweat sliding down the back of his neck? And his face is awfully red. "Ah, actually, I just thought of a better idea." How about the two of you rely on the expertise of your favorite cooks/bakers from around town for this one? Really immerse yourselves for a day (er, a few hours), learn from a professional. Who would you like to teach you? He can pull some strings and make it happen! :) :) :) ✦ ~Magical meal prep.~ He slices and dices with spell work. Like it's a party trick and not a potentially grisly weapon. Don't think too hard on the other potential applications of that spell, okay? :) ✦ Everything can be improved with cheese! (AKA: He puts cheese on top of everything.) ✦ He's unlikely to share this part of himself of his own accord, but... Naturally, he still knows all of his high society dining etiquette.  He can tell you all about place settings and the correct formal silverware order and how to tell which fork is the dessert fork, etc. Hopefully you'll never be put in a situation where that's knowledge that you need. He really doesn't want to subject you to that kind of person, if he can help it. Those people are closer to the Senobium and most would do anything for a favor. Best to stick to places where it's more safe. Right here next to him is free. ✦ He has a brilliant mind for what wines go with what foods. One of the few drink recommendations you can trust him on. "Of course, these are all just suggestions. What matters is that you're drinking what you like, right?" (<- He's trying to sell you on his new mixolology concoction. Do not trust.) ✦ Could hold a formal tea for you but you will really have to wheedle it out of him. And he'll only say yes if you agree that it stays between the two of you. "You have to pinky promise." ;) and it only counts if it's bare skin. ✦ That said, he's at his most comfortable when he's in some little hole-in-the-wall, enjoying great local food that someone else made. ✦ Extremely interested in any dishes you enjoy that are local to your home/culturally significant to you. Will hunt someone down who can make them for you if you're feeling homesick. (Or will find the ingredients if you prefer to make it yourself.) He's a good guy like that. :)

Kuras: ✦ He tries to make the recipe but he just makes things worse. Like many things in his long life. ✦ He's worse than Vere. A lot worse. 'Possibly the worst cook in the entire city' type worse. ✦ Cooking is just so outside of his realm of existence. ✦ It doesn't help that Everything tastes like p u r e n o t h i n g to him. It's not just that he doesn't need to eat, the very sensation of taste is beyond him. ✦ But he occasionally likes to try to make food for his friends and loved ones. He understands that food sharing is an important human social behavior and he'd like to participate how he can and show that he values his bonds with the people he chooses. ✦ He is uniquely awful at it though. Time has made very little improvement. ✦ Ever since that Valentine's Day cake, baking is his ✨passion.✨ Mhin had a good reaction, so he's decided not to give; he made such an obvious breakthrough with that one. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: He accepts immediately. He's overjoyed. "I'm sure this will be an enlightening experience. I confess myself as rather lacking when it comes to this activity so please consider me your humble student. Anything you wish to teach me would be appreciated." ✦ Of course, the two of you will have to work around the clinic's schedule. (You ought to realize quickly that he does not have a good gauge of time when it comes to meals. Take the initiative or starve tbh.) ✦ He is very attentive to everything you say.  His earnest face while listening to you is unbearably adorable.  Frequently tilts his head like a cat. ✦ He hangs off your every word and even asks questions.  Though, some of the questions you don’t quite know how to answer.  (“When you chew, do you instinctively know how many times is appropriate, or must you count?”  “....I…what?”) ✦ You think that particular question might be a joke... Hard to say. ✦ Even when you are running the show and watching him to make sure he does everything right…every time something somehow ends up going wrong. ✦ Pro tip: don't let him put anything into the oven or determine the cooking/baking times. Otherwise, things will get...strange. ✦ You are the test subject–I mean: taste tester.  Kuras insists that your opinion is of the utmost importance.  Are you brave enough?  If not, are you tough enough to politely decline when his eyes are sparkling softly with affection and excitement like that??

Think of it this way:

If you get sick (which you will) you’re already at the doctor’s!  ✨Convenient!✨ ✦ Comfortable silence in the kitchen when they two of you are working together. <3 ...As soon as you accept that nothing will be edible. Actually, maybe you should stop this. This is probably more food waste than a post-apocalyptic world can afford.

Ais: ✦ Of course he knows how. ✦ Well.  Maybe not him specifically. But give him a moment, he’s pretty sure he’s got the equivalent of a Michelin 3 Star chef (or two, but who’s counting?) “in here somewhere.”  (He taps on his temple.) ✦ He doesn't have an interest in human food. "You want recommendations try asking Pretty Boy." ✦ He does like to experiment with making treats for his Soulless.  He’s bought them snacks from the market on occasion, but he likes the feeling of taking care of them and providing for them contributing with his own hands.  Plus, he can make them treats that are a lot less grain heavy.  They prefer meat.

✦ (Most aren't stupid enough to try and poison the treats he buys, but he did kill someone for trying once. Not that the shit they put inside was strong enough. He ate the stupid biscuit right in front of them just to prove a point. Last thing they ever saw.) ✦ If the Sea Spring has a kitchen…look, he hasn't been in there in a while. There might be mold.  There is almost certainly mold. ✦ Luckily, Kuras has a kitchen!  And he doesn’t seem to use it, so it’s basically free real estate.  If Ais is ever in need of somewhere to cook or bake, he’ll be using Kuras’ space. ✦ He can do meat preparation really well (he’s an absolute butcher with anything sharp) and smoke meat really well but spending an overabundance of his time preparing meals (meals that aren't even the preferred sustenance of Monsters like him) feels like a poor use of his life. He's got shit to do. ✦ You ask him to cook or bake with you?: "Huh... Nah. Don't think I will..." <- neutral bastard “Or what?” <- He feels like riling you up a little extra today. ✦ (You're more likely to get that experience if you catch him doing it of his own accord and join in/keeping him company in the clinic while he works.)

Mhin: ✦ Diametrically opposed to Leander (and Vere), they will follow the recipe exactly whenever possible. ✦ The only one you can trust to make something edible without fail. ✦ Mhin is an alchemist.  Cooking and baking are both easy for them.  None of these components are even going to explode or create poisonous gas if mixed.  The worst thing that will happen is that they’ll eat a meal they aren’t completely satisfied with.  (And honestly, what else is new these days?) ✦ They are impressively quick and precise in the kitchen!  They can cut things so fast! Can also cut fruit into animal shapes for reasons that they will not explain. ✦ When they cook, they are making meals to feed themself.  It’s a necessity that they are performing to keep themself able to tolerate their strenuous life. At the same time, it relaxes them to an extent–it grounds them, it’s something concrete to focus on that isn’t … –but it’s a necessity first and foremost. ✦ Mhin’s cooking has a tendency to be b l a n d.  They are filled with too much self-loathing to season more interested in the nutritional value of the meal than its flavor.  Plus, spices are costly and they aren’t about to spend any of their hard earned money on the luxury of taste. ✦ Mhin’s baking is significantly more inspired than their cooking.  If they have the good fortune and the wherewithal to bake themself a little treat, they have a good intuition for (delicate, sweet) flavors.  They never get the opportunity, but.  The ability is there. ✦ In another life (an easier life) baking could have been a hobby. ✦ You ask them to cook or bake with you?: "..." Mhin isn’t the type to teach someone, but… If you're any good, you could be a useful second pair of hands. If you're hopeless...they should really leave you to your own devices, but… someone needs to tell you to stop holding a knife like that. It's annoying to look at. It will just take them a few seconds to correct you. And then you're on your own! (They still stay. They were using Kuras' kitchen first.) ✦ Will scold you for holding the knife wrong.  Tries to explain the correct way–which is to say, the safest way–to handle it but...  They’re not used to having to verbalize their thoughts/instructions to people, since they are always alone. ✦ So they'll finally just settle in behind you and show you how to position your hands and cut away from yourself. ✦ Backs off ASAP because being able to feel your body heat and being so close to you flusters them.  (Not to mention whatever is happening with your hands.) They go off into their own little corner to meal prep extra because they want to be prepared–definitely not so that they can look away from you and focus on something else for a while. ✦ Mhin can tell you about the chemical reaction that makes bread rise.  Mhin can tell you why and how each ingredient is important, which ones you can skip and substitute if supplies in this post Fogfall world are running low.  Mhin can tell you that you are not doing that right, what are you doing?  Stop.  That is way too much vanilla extract. ✦ If you ever reach their maximum affection level: Their face looks like it is absolutely on fire when they offer to share their favorite dessert this dessert they’ve really been craving with you.  They’ll even teach you how to make it, and you two could make it together if you'd like...

[sea-jello]

hong kong miku,,,

[iamthepulta]

The best thing about Italy and Europe is that linen just- exists here. I can go buy a shitty cheap 100% linen dress like I would go to Fry's and buy a shitty cheap 100% polyester dress in America. Absolutely revolutionary for my wardrobe. I can't actually buy wardrobe enhancements because I have a carry-on suitcase, but the fact I still have the option is amazing.