#ok this might be dramatic. because its personal

[gaycompilation]

i know im supposed to be body neutral but also im so sick and tired of how obsessed we all are with being skinny not being openly fatphobic isnt enough we have to stop conflating skinniness and attractiveness. wow you dont find me disgusting do you want a medal?? but could you ever find me beautiful. could you. could you

[triglycercule]

me when i find the PERFECT mtt song (yamitsuki,,,,,,,, maretu my king how did you do it,,,,,,,,,,,,, literally HOW did you do it why is this song weirdly accurate wtf and its for a completely different character 2??? HOW DID YOU DO THIS??? THE ENTIRE FUCKING SONG FITS??? THE ENTIRE SONG COULD BE MADE TO HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH ONLY MILD REACHING??? HELLO??????) (this translation!!!) (the translation is not.linking i will be shooting myself. its the on on the vocaloid wiki NOTthe video....)

literally like. 1/3 is horror. 1/3 is dust. and then the last is killer. in that order. the first 2 verses talk about bloodshot pain (bloodshot EYES.... HORROR'S EYE) and a rotting fatal wound (THE FUCKING HEAD CRACK!!! HIS GODDAMN HEAD WOUND!!!!). commiting brutality. i dont think much else is needed. wrong/right and judging biases,,,,, jesus fuck wtf. AND THEN in the next verse there's a mention of "starving for necessary evil" HELLO!!!! HELLO!!!!!!! him starving himself while also feeding snowdin human which totally sucks,,,,,, horror sans,,,,,,???? chorus of shrill voices (duh snowdin. or also could be undyne and royale guard. i like snowdin more). and then the last line of the second verse mentions sadism. nothing more to say. horror sans i mayhaps perchance mightve just encountered you in a song. or maybe the translation is freakily accurate and the song itself isnt that specific (probably but hey i can dream)

and then th next 2 verses r dust except i dont really know about the first verse but also a line that says "this is the death of the conflict, come and see me" could be referring to the human's death which like. man. and then the next verse is just dust sans but in a single verse. give me more excellent pain could be interpreted as LV but also the mental pain that comes with yk..... killing all you love.LOVE. LV. he needs more LV... anyways. mad off the beaten track. MAD. MENTION OF MAD LIKE CRAZY LIKE MAD TIME LIKE DUST SANS!!!! echoes of a haughty voice resound,,,,, phantom paps,,,,, "severe punishment, 100 renouned sights, i long for pure pessimism" i cant explain this one well i think but just think about it okay. this time you get to be the one coming up with the ideas (σ´∀`)σ

killer only has one verse that i can link this song 2 but i also think its th most freakily accurate. verse 1 is "through instantaneous joy, entertain me for my whole life, i'm cunningly"LUCKY". i get completely bored. give me pleasure without worry. and now, right away." and then "i'd rather head to eternal darkness. i'll abide by you always, emptily "HAPPY". i shed tears from my clear white eyes. come and show me your best smile!" HELP HELP HELP THEYRE SHOOTING ME HELP HELP!!!! THEY JUMPING ME (these lyrics) because WTFyhis isFREAKILY accurate. the entire first verse and its spiel on boredom and having someone else manage the entertainment/emotions,,,, and the cunningly lucky part is just. i think the word cunning is just really good to describe killer (sneaky little bastard) and then he's "lucky" emphasis on quotes because idk he got chosen for whatever the fuck his chara wants. what luck. really bad luck but whatever. and then MORE on the following another person and EMPTILY!!! EMPTY!!! KILLER FEEL NOTHING EMPTY!!!! fake happy too,,,, and killer has white eyelights sooo IM NOT REACHING!!! also he literally cries

in conclusion MARETU is a god amongst men and somehow this song managed to fit the mtt i have no idea how. next coming up: how NAMIDA fits killer. how thirst fits dust. how uminaoshi fits horror. idk if i already said this one probably did BUT JUST IN CASE maretu also has maegamist,,,,, maretu i knew i listened to you for a reason. so i could make totally irrational and unreasonable connections of your songs to the fucking murder time trio of all things. what joy

[spncvr]

waiting room | s. reid

summary: spencer can't seem to escape the girl in the waiting room

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of reid's addiction & tobias hankel, mentions of kidnapping and mass shootings (in, like, a joking way??) my terrible, terrible humour, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE LMAO, this is deffo terrible, pls tell me if i missed anything!!

a/n: ok idk if i wanna continue this and make it a series so lmk lol (also im on writers block so i literally can't come up with SHIT)

SPENCER REID WAS a pessimist.

At least, that’s what he’d call himself. His colleague, Derek Morgan would most likely (and by most likely, he means, definitely already has) call him an overanalysing introvert. But in Spencer’s defense, there has never really been a good reason to go out and “live your life”. Consider this:

Go to the new coffee shop? Mass shooting.

Go to the mall? A child gets abducted.

Leave the apartment for a short while? A stalker finds out where he lives, kidnaps him in his sleep, and, in a nightmarish turn, auctions off his organs to the bidder in the black market.

Besides, his life isn’t some John Green book. There were no life-affirming adventures or poetic moments of self-discovery awaiting him. Carpe diem? A fanciful notion for others, but for him, not so much. Sorry, Mr. Keating.

Yet life—or more accurately, bureau protocol— had its own plans. Ever since the Tobias Hankel incident, a visit to the psychologist wasn’t just a request but rather (unfortunately for him) an order. Which meant, he’d have to risk his entire life to get up and walk for ten whole minutes just to sit and wait, in this glaringly bright waiting room, when he could have stayed at home and read the new books he’d gotten from his team as a get-well gift.

Speaking of which, why the gifts? He was fine. Physically, at least. But really, when have you ever seen get-well-soon cards in an asylum? Well, alright, maybe he was being a little bit dramatic. A visit to the psychologist doesn’t mean he’ll be institutionalised—but then again, Spencer Reid was never one to wear rose-tinted glasses. 

This is his third time in the waiting room, and she’s always there. He isn’t sure as to why she is, because, well, unlike himself, she was very clearly an optimist—and at least, from the looks of it, she hasn’t been kidnapped and drugged in the past month. But she's sitting there again, in the exact same chair for the past three weeks, along with a beacon of smiles where joy usually fears to trend. Maybe, he isn't as good of a profiler as he’d like to think he is.

“Dr. Reid?” the call of his name rips him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see the same kind woman he’s seen the past three weeks—not the one in the waiting room, no, he means his therapist.

Dr. Brown was easy to profile: She wore heels to make herself look taller, and she hated wearing glasses, apparent by how she would continuously place them atop her head instead of her nose. Her teeth were abnormally perfect, which meant, she’d had to wear braces when she was younger—which (from his humbling experience) means she wasn’t exactly the most popular at school. Perhaps, psychology felt appealing to her because she could help people like her. 

“How are you?” she asks, her pen clicking.

Usually, he’d offer her a meek shrug. The kind that could win awards for its commitment to non-commitment. Besides, he’s not one to talk about how he feels—there isn’t much to say, anyway. And let’s face it,  “How are you?” in the grand tapestry of human interaction is almost as genuine as a three-dollar bill. And, get this, the average person asks “How are you?” 6,739 times a year but only listens to the answer about half the time—well, okay, maybe those numbers might have been fabricated, but isn’t the sincerity behind the question also made up? But instead of telling her all this, he remembers what Hotch had told him, one, two, three weeks ago: that he ought to cooperate with Dr. Brown or the board won’t be happy. So, he kisses his teeth before he says:

“Fine. I’m fine.”

And the session went on.

PLS TELL ME IF I SHLD CONTIUE OR NOT LOLOLOL spam my inbox with ideas I BEG.

[moominsuki]

✎ᝰ NAGUMO YOICHI ; — 18:04. heartbreaks are best served raw. cold. wet.

࿄ ! warnings - bruh none except juicy angst. exes to ?friends /. note i have been having nagumo brain rot and it’s taking over my life. pls help. pls enjoy. ofc there will be more. no proofreads ok byeee

“you still owe me, by the way.”

sighing, you throw your keys into the straw woven coaster on top of your shoe rack. of course he was strewn all over your couch, bare feet on your cushions, head resting on the arm rest, tv flashing in jest.

you roll your eyes. “sometimes, i have half a mind to tell my elderly neighbour that no, they’re not just seeing things when they keep telling me a big, lanky idiot keeps breaking into my home after i leave.”

nagumo gasps, hand grasping his chest through his loose shirt. “idiot? words hurt, y’know.”

you kick off your shoes, jacket and blazer - in that exact order - before wandering off into the kitchen, ignoring the dramatic cries emanating from your living room.

it’s not uncommon for nagumo to just show up in your house, uninvited, eating all your food and making a mess of all your things. you remember the first time it happened, almost a year ago. he had stumbled into your bedroom window, all bloodied and bruised and your reaction time was terrible to say the least, because while you were mindlessly scrolling through your phone, his figure stepped into your peripheral and you threw the phone square at his already bruised jaw.

in apology, you had tidied him up and made him dinner… though now you wish you hadn’t shown him mercy back then, because he just kept. showing. up. you suppose he’s not just to blame. you’re ignoring the fact that you both hadn’t seen each other in over 7 years (after your messy exit of the JAA and an even more messy breakup) and now that he’s back in your life (back used in negative fashion) you just can’t seem to get rid of the him.

nor do you have the heart to tell him to get lost.

nagumo ceases his whining, yelling after you. “by the way, what’s for dinner? i saw some chicken in your fridge so…”

your eye twitches. “…so what?”

“so…i was thinking you might want to use that… to make dinner.”

you make a loud noise in disbelief, practically throwing the fridge door off of its hinges, “i’m not making you dinner?! gramps next door said he saw you come in 4 hours ago! and you didn’t think to come in and make dinner?!”

it’s quiet for a moment, but you hear the rustling of clothes and the movement of feet, so you turn to lean against the kitchen counter expectantly. the dark haired man peers his head round the corner, sheepish.

“y/n? are you mad at me?”

“no. i just think you’re stupid. oh, and i pretty sure you live to bother me.”

dark puppy eyes bore into yours as he steps into the vicinity. “the first part’s not true in the slightest but the second is pretty much on the nose. though, i’m not bothering you. you like that i’m here.”

“what’s this now?”

nagumo steps closer into your personal space, tattooed arms on either side of you as you look up and away from him.

“47 times. that’s how many times i’ve shown up here. in typical y/n fashion, you’ll complain and act like you’re annoyed, but i don’t think you’ve ever told me to go away.” nagumo ponders for a moment, finger on his chin. “now that i think about it, you haven’t. not once.”

you’re speechless. you’re not sure what to say and when you open your mouth, nothing wants to come out. truthfully, the man has read you like an open book, flicking through the pages languidly, hands bruising the spine. he’s smiling like it’s the truest thing he’s ever said - the only thing he’s been right about when it comes to how you feel.

pride is a very funny thing. if things were different, you’d grab his face and kiss him till he would shut up - well, that’s what you used to do… before, you know… you know. but this is humiliating, at least to you. even after all this time… you’ve let it get too far.

you huff, pushing his arm from beside you and you stand by a miscellaneous cupboard, turned away from nagumo, arms wrapped around yourself. “well, for starters, you’re wrong. forgive me for trying to be a good friend and helping someone out.”

“someone? that’s a little harsh, isn’t it?” the playful lilt stays lingering in his tone and it makes your heart simmer.

“… i think you should go, nagumo.”

silence sits between the two of you. nagumo looks at the back of your head. he sighs.

“if that’s what you want. see you around, y/n.”

he exits, quiet as never. he’s never quiet or silent when he lumbers around your home, sweeping and lingering. he’s probably already left your home in similar fashion. the fact makes you grab your own face and groan.

you don’t think you can be normal about him. maybe it’s for the best.

࿄ ! — all rights reserved © MOOMINSUKI 2024. please do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend my work outside of tumblr. this is strictly prohibited.

[piasargeant]

Quick rant but I've been holding this in for too long. It's long so if you don't wanna hear me rant about Logan Sargeant and the shit he endured, just keep scrolling. Another warning, it is dramatic and I spill how I've been feeling these past few months, so just a heads up it's a lot to process and VERY dramatic so again I'm sorry if it's too much.

What pissed me off about Logan getting dropped is not just that he got dropped, but the way Williams handled it. How are you going to claim you are still going to support Logan in his racing career, but can't even have the decency to announce him being dropped BEFORE announcing who is replacing him. Hell, even your goodbye post was dreadful to read. Not even caring enough to put a simple paragraph. It's sad. Fucking Alex Albon and DURACELL gave him a better goodbye than that, giving him a whole post and a paragraph or more to wish him well, and Alex actually talked about him during a press conference, and it actually made me cry it was so well worded. But even JAMES VOWLES, THE TEAM PRINCIPLE, who said he saw something in Logan, said he has reached a limit to what he can achieve. You were supposed to be the one person who is supposed to help build his confidence, but you only tore him down. It's disgusting.

Also how the rest of the grid treated him. There were very few drivers that followed him on Instagram, so that's just one thing that shows how outcast-ed he was. And for what? Because he is American? Who knows, but it's just not ok. I don't have much to say on this for now because it's not a big deal, just a bit sad in my opinion.

Now onto Franco, I must make it clear that I do not have anything against him. He is extremely talented and seems like a very nice person, and I can see him having a bright future in F1, if given the chance. Now, that being said, the comparison to the way Franco is being treated to the way Logan was treated is genuinely ridiculous. For example, Logan crashes, he deserves to be taken out of the sport or have his seat revoked. Franco crashes, it's automatically the cars fault, and it's not fair to him that the car is so bad. Tell me, how does that make any sense?? For Logan, it's always his fault, but for Franco, it's the car. It's unfair. When the announcement came out that he was being dropped, there were little-to-no comments from any drivers on the grid that were wishing him well. But when Franco was announced?? That's a whole other story. So many drivers welcomed him to the grid. And I mean so many. There were quite a few. The amount of comments on the Williams posts whenever he crashes are always kind and saying the car is shit, but the comments on when Logan crashed?? Every single comment was saying that he should be dropped and how shit he was. How is that fair??

When Daniel got dropped, every single driver was in the comments wishing him well and showing him support, and again, I understand why because Daniel was in the sport for YEARS and everyone loved him and made such an impact in the sport, and I personally love him, he is in my top three favorite drivers, but its just common courtesy to wish someone well even though you may not know then or they were not there for long, because the comparison to Daniel's comment section and Logan's comment section is INSANE. Again, I get Daniel is more popular and well known and loved, but its still crazy to me and it might just be me who thinks that, but I don't care. I will be honest, every driver drop that occured this season was so shit, it's sad. How are you going to be a whole ass adult in an ADULT SPORT and not know human decency?? For Logan, Daniel, AND Esteban, the whole thing was handled so poorly. Alpine, why drop a driver on the LAST RACE OF THE SEASON?? Like what??

I just watched a video of when Logan was talking about how the number 3 was (obviously) taken when coming into F1, and the comment section was WILD. They were hating on him for just saying the number was taken and how he had used that number for other series, but the comments were bashing him and calling him names (saw someone call him a 'trumpie' and it's just like ??? wtf when has he ever said who he supports in the election like?? I'm pretty sure (by contract) he is not allowed to talk about polictics so idk where they got that but whatever ig). I get some people may think he isn't a good driver but he has never EVER shown that he was ever a bad person, so if you hate him than you actually don't have a reason too.

I might be going a bit over board and acting dramatic but it genuinely crushes me seeing how poorly he was treated in the sport. BUT I am so happy to see him doing so much better and thriving now that he doesn't have to deal with the shitty treatment he endured in F1, and now people can see that it wasn't Logan's fault, but that the car is just shit, seeing how horribly the car has performed these last few months.

Again, sorry that this is so long, everything just sorta snapped from being on tik tok too much, and I just couldn't anymore. Sorry if this is too dramatic because I really had to get my point across 😭😭 But anyway this is a Logan Sargeant, Oscar Piastri, Alex Albon, and Duracell appreciation post. Thank you for showing Logan that you care and actually appreciate him. Thank you so much 💗 Logan, I am so excited to see you race in the Le Mans series, and hope to see you even more in the future in Indycar!! 💙💙

[fuctacles]

Henderson's-brother-centered misadventures continue [Part IV]

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Eddie screamed. Then, he screamed some more. Then, he got hit with a teddy bear, which bounced off into the floor, barely disturbing his mane of hair.

“You get a drop of spit on my pillow, and you’re washing all my sheets!”

He groaned, like a wounded animal. If animals could be wounded by their best friend’s disloyalty.

“No, dude! You can scream into your own fucking pillow! We can jam if you need, smoke or steal a beer, hell, I can even listen to you. But don’t just come here to stink my room with-” Gareth made a flapping motion in Eddie’s general direction. “Whatever this is.”

Eddie groaned louder before finally rolling onto his back.

“I fucking hate him.”

“I was hoping you’d choose jamming,” Gareth sighed. He threw his leg over his chair and leaned on the back of it. “You mean Big Bro Henderson?”

“Who else?” Eddie threw his hands up into the ceiling. His friend barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met!”

“Good thing you can’t meet yourself, then.”

Eddie glared at him, but from this angle, it gave him a double chin which severely decreased the look’s efficiency.

“You calling me annoying?”

“Yes.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘lively’. Or ‘charismatic’! Or, or, ‘non-conforming’!”

“No, I’m pretty sure ‘annoying’ is the word. Also, ‘dramatic’.”

Eddie glared again, but since his position has not changed so hasn’t its lack of impact.

“How dare you,” he seethed. Gareth completely ignored it.

“So, what did he do this time? Give you more cookies?”

“No!” He had regretted the decision to tell him about it as soon as it left his mouth, but it was out there now. Well, the price of the blackmail material was listening to it first. “He just…” Eddie trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. ‘He let me sit in his lap for the whole length of Karate Kid’ was so much harder to explain than ‘he gave me an extra cookie for my good work.’ He scrambled to find a better approach. 

“So he’s like a therapy dog,” he started, because painting the scene is important.

“What.”

Wrong approach.

“Okay, so I’ve found out he has some issues, something to do with the Starcourt fire, I think? You know nothing of it, by the way, I probably shouldn't know about it. Henderson, well, the little one, just has a big mouth.”

“And so do you. By telling me,” his friend pointed out.

“Emerson, this isn’t about you,” Eddie scolded him. “So he needs extra physical contact or something. And he might have um…” Wrong turn again. “Engaged me in it?”

“Ok, hold on,” Gareth dropped his forehead on the edge of the chair’s back and rubbed his temples. “What do you mean by that? Because I know it’s not as weird as you make it sound.”

Eddie crossed his arms, which looked extra stupid in his horizontal position. He tapped his socked foot against the mattress.

“We were watching Karate Kid, and the couch wasn’t big enough for four people. Nobody else wanted to sit in his lap and I thought it would be, you know, funny, to offer. And he just said ‘okay’, and did it!” His arms flew up into the air again.

Gareth lifted his head.

“So you sat in his lap.”

“He put me in his lap.”

“Dude, you throw your legs all over me when we watch a movie!”

“Yeah, but that’s different!”

“How?”

“Because we’re friends! We play together and shit!”

Gareth scrunched his nose because while he knew of the wisdom his friend possessed (very selective and rarely occurring in the daylight), admitting him right was painful because the cockiness he possessed was probably far greater.

“Well, maybe he’s giving you signs he wants to be friends?”

Eddie snorted.

"No way. Not possible. No."

"And why is that?" Gareth raised an eyebrow at the adamant negation.

"I'm his younger brother's friend-"

"Who's his age."

"-And we like different things. I'm a freak, I like metal and D&D!"

"So does Dustin, and they get along well."

"They are brothers!" 

"Well, I actually hate my sister, it’s not a rule."

Eddie groaned.

"I don't know," he ended up saying, just to voice his internal frustration. At least he was facing the ceiling now and not Gareth's pillow.

He hummed, considering his friend, trying to understand his problem, to even locate it.

"Okay, so you don't like that he's nice?"

"Yes."

"... You want him to be mean?"

"... Yes? Maybe?"

Gareth hit his head against the chair. 

"This whole conversation is lost on me."

When he looked up he met Eddie's eyes, a storm brewing behind them.

"I don't want to like him. But he makes it hard not to because he's so nice."

‘He treats me like I'm normal, like his equal’, went unspoken but Gareth could hear it anyway. It was time to end the questions for the day because getting any deeper into his friend's psyche could trap him like quicksand. 

"And then I go to apologize and end up talking about BDSM of all things!"

"Nope!" Gareth straightened up and hopped out of his chair. "We're going to the garage, so I can't hear you over the drums."

"What a best friend you are," Eddie grumbled but rolled off the bed regardless. He was secretly glad for an excuse to stop talking about Henderson because he started getting lost in his thoughts and feelings himself.

The next time he sees Steve, he doesn’t make it any easier. They see each other only in passing, and the older brother doesn’t give him more than a weak smile and a "Hi, Eddie. Dustin's upstairs," before leaving.

Eddie walks up to his friend's room thoroughly confused. 

"What was that about?" he asks instead of a greeting. He never greets his friends properly these days, but there are more important things like ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s.

"What was what about?"

"Steve," Eddie frowns like it explains everything. And apparently, it does.

"I think he's still upset after last time."

Eddie blinks.

"I said I was sorry!"

Dustin rolls his eyes.

"Sorry doesn't solve everything. It's like a," he snaps his fingers looking for a good comparison. "Like one of the spell components. It's not gonna work without all of them."

Guess he is casting Charm Person after all.

"Okay, but like. What are the other components?"

Dustin just shrugs.

"Hell if I know."

Eddie was burdened with the most unhelpful friends. 

"What do you do when you upset him?"

Dustin's first instinct is to protest, probably point out what a great little brother he is, but one stern look from Eddie makes him shut his mouth and reconsider his words.

"Well, if I made him upset, I'd help him with dinner, make him coffee or tea, pick a movie I know he'd like. Help out with chores, mostly. He does too much by himself." The frown on his face is deep like the mystery of Steve's adoption and Eddie mirrors it.

"This sounds all great when you're brothers, but I'm not a Henderson, how am I supposed to pull that off?

"You helped with dinner once, you could do it again," 

Eddie sighs, long and suffering.

"I guess…"

"Great! Steve has left to get groceries and is making dinner later, I'm sure he'll appreciate the help!" He grins, knowing full well he just backed his friend into a corner.

Eddie sputters when he realizes that. 

“What? Today?”

“No better time than the present.” Dustin shrugs smugly, like it was a universal law they can’t help but follow.

Eddie bristles, because, yeah, true, but…

“I'm not mentally prepared," he complains. 

"For what?" Dustin raises his brows in this annoying way of his. "Cooking?"

"You ate my mac and cheese, you understand the severity of the situation!" he yells, accusingly pointing a finger at him.

"Ate is a big word, I spat it out. And calling it mac and cheese is also a big word."

"Exactly!" Usually Eddie didn't like his abilities slandered like that but on the rare occasion when it served his purpose… 

"Steve's first casserole was also inedible," Dustin shrugs and Eddie tries to picture Mr. Perfect Housewife fucking up a dish. "You have about an hour to mentally prepare before he's back though. You can spend it finishing your readings."

Ah, right. The mundane purpose of his visit was schoolwork.

Eddie groans. He can only hope the tragic stories of holocaust victims will set him in the right mind for cooking with Steve.

They don’t. He's heavily unprepared for the confrontation when they're running down the stairs to help with the bags. 

When Steve's instructing them which things he needs and which can be put away, Dustin elbows his friend in the ribs, hard. He hisses in pain, attracting Steve's attention.

"You staying for dinner?" he asks before Eddie can say anything. 

"Uh, if I can help with it, then yeah," he says, feeling Dustin’s annoying beady eyes on himself.

Steve frowns at him.

"You don't have to do that, I’ve told you before."

"Yeah, but I'm done with my work for today," Eddie adds under the menacing gaze. "And my cooking skills need some guidance. Wayne is too old to stomach my food, he can't risk another food poisoning,” he babbles, earning himself a snort from Steve. 

“Okay, if it's that bad,” he agrees finally,  the smile Eddie has gotten used to once again on his face. "But you'll be under strict supervision."

"Of course!"

"Okay, you already got yourself a kitchen slave, so I can go finish my work," Dustin speaks up before promptly disappearing, only the sound of his rushed retreating steps left.

"Guess we're alone then," Steve comments, giving Eddie an odd look. He thought he was used to those but Steve's were always hard to decipher. Not the exact kind he usually got.

He clears his throat to dislodge the weird feeling clogging it up.

"So, what are we cooking today?"

Steve hums, looking at the ingredients before him.

"You ever cooked soup?"

"Uh, I assume you don't mean the instant kind?"

Steve makes a disgusted face, fake gags for a good measure too.

"Soup it is then. It's getting colder, and I'm sure Wayne would appreciate it," he says, eyeing Eddie questioningly, and this one he deciphers easily.

"My uncle,” he explains. "I live with him."

To his surprise, Steve smiles warmly.

"Wanna make some extra you can heat up for him?"

"That's-" Eddie's taken aback, which doesn't happen to him often. "That would be very nice, thank you."

"It’s nothing. He should know his nephew is spending his time productively."

"I'm always productive," he mutters back a complete lie. But he's been trying, okay?

"I know," Steve says, surprising him again. "Maybe I want to get on your uncle's good side too."

Eddie doesn't ask why. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't speculate. Just leaves it be, bugging him for the time being.

"I was thinking fritters too? Since they're easy to heat up later."

Eddie nods, watching him sort through the vegetables.

"Whatever you say, chef."

Steve instructs him through the soup preparations first, explaining it needs more time to cook. 

“I hope you don’t mind veggie broth. El didn’t like chicken and we kinda got used to it. Also, it’s cheaper,” he says, watching Eddie pour water over the vegetables arranged in the pot. 

He puts the pot on the burner and looks up.

"Who's El?"

"Dustin's friend. She moved to California though," Steve answers with a frown.

"That's a bit of a drive."

"Yeah," Steve scrunches his nose, then looks back into the pot, before reaching for a box of seasoning.

"Ok, now for the fun part."

Eddie has no idea how seasoning a pot of vegetable water can be fun, but he's not about to argue. He follows instructions and marvels at the amount of weird plants that could be added to food. 

"I feel like a witch," he whispers, tossing dried herbs into his cauldron.

Steve chuckles.

"You kinda look like one."

Eddie side-eyes him from his position over the pot.

"I hope that's a compliment."

"Oh, it is," Steve says in a weird voice and Eddie is too afraid to look at him. He flips through the seasoning packets instead, reading unfamiliar names.

"Okay, so this needs a couple of hours to cook, you'll know when it starts getting together from the smell. Then we'll blanche the onions and garlic, add the tomatoes, blend it all, and it's done. Now we can work on the fritters. Have you done them before?"

Eddie thinks about it for a moment.

"I saw my uncle make them."

"Potato ones?"

"Uh, yeah? Are there more options?" he asks, eyebrows drawn together.

"Apparently, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. “A fritter is technically anything you can grate, slap together and fry in a pancake-ish shape."

"Huh. I've learned so much today already."

Steve laughs. 

"So, what do you want in the fritters?" he asks and Eddie is ridiculously giddy about having a choice.

"Can we put meat in them?"

"Yeah, I've made them with bacon before."

Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"Potatoes with bacon and cheese?"

"Holy shit,” Steve groans. “Claudia's gonna kill us, but it sounds so good." He ponders on it for a moment. "We could add corn to pretend there are vegetables in them."

"Ketchup is a vegetable," Eddie points out and Steve bristles. 

"We're not eating them with ketchup!" he protests. "But… we could use some of the tomatoes to make a sauce."

Eddie never thought cooking could be this fun.

"Yesss!"

"You're way more excited than I thought you'd be," Steve observes, grabbing the potatoes to wash.

"I'm a growing boy, of course I'm excited about food. Besides, we're like two alchemists; mixing up stuff to make other stuff."

Steve laughs again.

"Are those the guys who tried turning metals into gold?"

"Precisely!"

He's tasked with peeling the potatoes while Steve puts bacon in the oven. He’s  never good at it, and he huffs angrily when Steve joins him and gets through three potatoes while he peels one. What's worse, he can see him watching and his fingers twitching.

"Okay, I can see you itching to correct me. Just do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah man, unless you have some disease I could catch, I'll be fine."

Steve winces and Eddie has a lightning-fast memory of a rumour that gays spread a deadly disease. But Steve isn't gay, probably, and it's just a rumour.

Steve is still haste when he rearranges his fingers on the peeler and takes his hand away like touching him burns.

Eddie frowns. Well, that's not gonna cut it.

"Like this?" he asks, making a motion he knows is wrong.

"No, like-" Steve reaches out and hesitates. 

"I don't have cooties, come on."

Steve presses his lips together and wraps his hand around his. He has to move closer too, crowding Eddie's side. 

"Like this," he says, whispers really, pushing his hand in the right motion.

This suddenly feels more obscene than it is, but Eddie’s half tempted to push it further.

"Your hands are weirdly soft. Do you steal Robin's hand cream?" he asks instead.

Steve huffs at the backhanded compliment and retraces his soft, big hands.

"No, I have my own."

"Hmm." Eddie cocks his head, looking him up and down. "Should have guessed."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve asks with a frown, but he can tell the anger is played up. 

"Nothing," Eddie shrugs. "You just look like someone taking care of himself." 

Steve keeps looking at him like he is not sure if he should be offended or not so Eddie helps him out by rolling his eyes. 

“Don't worry, I judge you more for your music than your hygiene.”

“Of course,” Steve huffs. “You wouldn't know much about hygiene anyway, would you?” he teases with a smirk.

Eddie gasps.

“Are you implying trailer trash don't clean themselves?” he asks, eyes wide and offended. 

“What? No!” The smile vanishes instantly from his face. “Of course not!” Steve scrambles to defend himself. But then, he cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You know what? No. I stand by it. Your hair needs proper care, not whatever 3 in 1 you treat it with,” he says. 

“5 in 1,” Eddie corrects him smugly. 

“Five?”

“Hair, body, face, beard and ass,” he lists on his fingers, earning himself a look of disgust from Steve. 

“For that alone, you’re washing your hands again.”

Eddie knows he doesn't have to, but complies anyway. Whatever makes the big Henderson happy. And consecutively, the little Henderson. And somehow, Eddie himself.

By the time the sun starts setting, he’s gained some valuable culinary knowledge, including the fact that as a cook, he gets to taste the dishes all the time. His growing boy tummy is satiated with a stolen strip of bacon and one of the test fritters he’s munching on, when they hear the door unlock.

“I’m home!” a woman’s voice calls out. Eddie freezes.

“We’re just finishing dinner!” Steve calls back while the man next to him shrinks on himself, looking up at him and wondering why he isn’t being pushed into a closet like a secret paramour. 

“Your mom is here?!” he seethes through his teeth, eyes jumping from Steve to the door. 

“Well, yeah?” Steve raises an eyebrow. “She lives here?” 

“But why am I here?!”

Was Steve this stupid or did he not grasp the severity of the situation?

“You’re cooking? Staying for dinner? Studying? The fuck do you mean man?” he answers, more or less matching his volume.

“Mothers hate me!” Eddie reminds him helpfully, making Steve only roll his eyes with a huff.

“Claudia likes you.”

“She never saw me,” he reminds him. Because as soon as any of the suburban moms caught a whiff of his metal vest, his dark clothes and long hair, he felt disgusted eyes on his back. 

And when the Satanist drug dealer rumours reach them? Things only get worse. 

“Dude-”

“Oh, hi boys!” A tired-looking blond woman enters the kitchen. Her smile doesn’t waver despite Eddie’s presence, meaning she must have seen some shit in her life. “You didn’t tell me we’ll have a guest today.”

Steve steps in before he can put his foot in his mouth, laying his big warm hand on his shoulder. 

“Eddie finished his work early and wanted to help in the kitchen. Hope that’s alright.”

At the mere thought it wouldn’t be, Eddie’s stomach twisted. 

“Of course! The more, the merrier!” Claudia smiled, still seemingly genuine, before stepping closer and extending her hand.

“Nice to finally meet you, Eddie. I’ve heard a lot about you from my boys.”

Steve’s hand is still on him squeezing minutely to remind him to shake Claudia’s hand.

“Likewise.” He smiles to his best ability, unable to remember the last time he was friendly with someone's parents. Except Gareth's, maybe.

“What did boys make?” she asks, sniffing the air and trying to peek over his shoulder.

“Tomato soup, like you asked, and some fritters.”

“With veggies, I hope?” She squints at her oldest (newest?) son.

“There’s corn in them, and we made a tomato sauce.” He smiled brightly and Eddie could tell he was happy to play the good kid role. 

“Good. I’m gonna change and get back to you,” she says before disappearing upstairs, probably to harass the younger Henderson now. 

“Why was she so nice?” Eddie muses, half to Steve, half to himself, half to the universe in general. Wait, that's three halves. Well, he didn’t fail school because of his great math skills.

“She's always nice.” Steve steps away to work on the next batch of fritters.

“Not to me! Mothers hate me! I bet she’s just pretending but as soon as I disappear, you're gonna hear all about it!”

“Hey!” Steve turns back towards him, frowning. And uh-oh, he upset him again. On his reverse-upset mission. “Claudia’s not some uptight bitch like that. She likes all our friends and you're not an exception. Just because you dress differently isn’t gonna ban you from the house or get us in trouble.” He knocks him on the head for good measure. “You’re safe here.”

“Okay,” Eddie simply says, taken aback. Being welcomed somewhere was a feeling he still had to process.

“We're safe here,” was a soft addition he almost missed over his own loud thoughts but made him even more curious about Steve himself. 

User tags: @i-have-three-feelings @mblogs @awkwardgravity1 @imacowboy3 @just-a-tiny-void @clumsiluni @shotgunhallelujah @halfadoginatank @carlprocastinator1000 @irregular-child

[aka-indulgence]

So, Ramattra huh? :3c

Ok so um. He’s completely taken over my mind for the past month 😭 I’m in love with this man

Usually I’m a sucker for the villains who are evil mostly for the sake of being evil or aggressive monster types but he’s like… morally gray complex? My (personal opinion) least favorite thing about supposedly morally grey characters is when they’re basically just evil except they go “oh but my backstory,” >:/ But here you can see why, there’s a lot of injustices towards omnics in the overwatch universe and you can see why he’s fighting so hard to make a change, even through any means necessary.

I’ve only started playing recently and every time I play as him I just find every little thing he does attractive orz the way he moves is so determined and confident, the way his hand strains when he’s shooting his primary fire/raising his shield… his scarf makes him look so majestic when he runs… his hair, gives him this effect that makes him look elegant? I want to tie his hair back for him huhuguhghuh

And oh my god don’t get me started on his nemesis form I’m dead 💀 He turns into this huge beast of a robot with big arms?? And his voice gets an extra.. filter to it that makes him sound scarier and growlier? I used to not like how his original arms were still visible, but now it’s yet another thing why I love him uhghehgfg he looks so confident with his arms crossed while he’s pummeling his enemies into submission and his cable hair flowing in the wind liks swoosh… and things get ramped up when he’s doing his annihilation ultimate, he can just run into the enemy team and suck their life force(?) Also this is a meta reason but I think it’s hot when he ults and the team scatters away from him 😳

and ough HIS VOICE AUGH HIS VOICE!! He always sounds so controlled and collected, and when he’s in nemesis form it’s like his restrained rage gets unleashed, phew… ngl I’ve been rewatching “Ramattra Voice Line” videos so much jkdshfnejf I love all versions of his ult line, whether its “SUFFER, AS I HAVE!” or “Rip them to pieces,”, or even the april fools line bc I just think he’s silly and dramatic in that one 🥺

I also watch a lot of his interactions, because despite his (understandable) hatred for humans, he’s respectful and polite to a lot of the other overwatch heroes. I imagine it’d be easy to write him as someone who dislikes all humans, but he shows appreciation to humans he thinks are kind and helpful to omnics, even if they might not like him. Even to humans he isn’t a fan of his conversations are still polite and reserved, or at the very least, he’s passive aggressive- but he never gets into a “grr I hate all of you” thing that Reaper has (lol)

His conversation with Venture especially makes me soft… he sounds encouraging to a human who wants to go to the Shambali monastery.

And of course his interactions with Bastion and Zenyatta are soft and gentle because omnics and knowing Zenyatta from the monastery.

I just- what if I’m his favorite person? What if I’m his exception to his hatred for humans? What if he was contrasted by a soft human? What if he says “Only you,” to his human? What if the hands he used for violence were also used to gently hold a delicate human he loves? uhuguhguhuhgufdgdfhgjdfhgd

I’m being self indulgent here and I say I wanna kiss Null Sector’s leader !!!! I want him to press his forehead to mine!! I want him to dink his mouth on my cheek and I do the same on his cool faceplate! I want him to cradle me with his nemesis hands! I want to hold his face when his faceplate gets cracked and his handsome, intense eye is visible and looking at me like I’m his treasure! ARGHRGHRG

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Side B

Propaganda below ⬇️

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

hello its me cct organizer. i have to come clean, i made this tournament because i need matt to win something. i dont think hell win the sadboy and he lost the ginger tournament and >:( hes my favoritest guy ever. Also @ who said he has religious trauma is wrong and i will fight u about it (nicely) on my main @usaigi

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

Harrowhark

I'm pretty sure you've already got plenty of submissions for her so I'll just say she was raised in what is basically a cult (technically a nunnery but let's be real) dedicated to keeping the body of the thing that will kill God behind the rock. One of their prayers is actually "I pray the rock is never rolled away". Harrow is extremely devout as penance for her earlier heretical actions in the tomb as a child (spoiler!) so the Catholic guilt really comes through

imagine being a catholic nun and you meet god, but it turns out he’s a twitch streamer from new zealand who became god because everything got a little bit out of hand. and just before you met him you gave yourself a diy grief-fuelled lobotomy with the help of your best frenemy. imagine how insane you’d be. now multiply that insanity by nine. that’s the fictional love of my life right there.

she meets god. she’s not inspired

she’s number one practitioner of space Catholicism. The locked tomb is chock full of Christian (catholic) imagery themes metaphors etc. just look at her she’s got a bone rosary

They're Catholicism with extra bones. Everyone is a nun. They have what is basically a rosary made from knuckle bones. They technically worship the same God as everyone else, but they're waaaay more focused on The Body in the Tomb (Mary) and we get a moment where we find out that while everyone else prays the equivilent of The Lords Prayer, they're doing the equivilent of Hail Mary. And they paint their faces with skulls.

She thinks leaving dry bread in a drawer is taking care of someone. She's in love with a 10,000 year old corpse (the same one they worship). She spent ALL NIGHT digging with her bare hands to make sure a field had bones every 5 feet so she could fight her girlfriend - I mean, greatest enemy. Spoiler territory: She's been puppeting her parents corpses since she was 8 years old. Instead of grieving her dead girlfriend, she gives herself a lobotomy. She makes soup with bone in it so she can use the bone IN THEIR STOMACH to try and kill them.

The author is/was Catholic and the entire series had heavy Catholic overtones. https://www.tor.com/2020/08/19/gideon-the-ninth-young-pope-and-the-new-pope-are-building-a-queer-catholic-speculative-fiction-canon/ A good breakdown of how it's Catholic

[milkmissiles]

Mha boys when you have a stomach ache

(Because I am currently in excruciating pain lol)

Fluff. Literally just comfort and fluff. A little bit of implied spice.

Character index: denki, bakugou, shouto, kirishima x GN reader

Denki

This bitch would be so dramatic.

He would ask you all the questions.. like for someone who isn't book smart at all he sure does know a shit ton of symptoms.

Please humor him though he just wants to make sure your not dying.

I mean waking up in the middle of the night to see you curled up in a ball, tears rolling down your face, and your entire body tense and shaking is definitely a terrifying site for this poor boy..

But once you convince him you actually are not on deaths door, he will calm down a bit. He's still freaked the fuck out and absolutely has no idea what he's supposed to do but he will try his best.

He will hold you close all night, rubbing small circles into your stomach to distract you, if it's really bad he might give you some little shocks to distract you more.

In the morning, he'll run you a hot bath, helping you get in. But he won't leave you to your bath without saying something like, "Aren't you gonna be lonely in there without me? Y'know I could totally join you~"

He really likes to test his luck...

But once you shoot him a bit of a glare, indicating you are definitely not in the mood with the pain and all. He will leave you to it.

Although you have to admit baths are a lot more boring without him around...

Bakugou

He would somehow find a way to get mad at you?

Like bakugou wakes up to see you like dying on the floor, trying to find a comfortable position, and his first thought is to scold the absolute shit out of you...

"What the hell's up with you? Why are you curled up like that on the floor? You're gonna give yourself a headache if you sleep without head support idiot! Get back on the bed right now you stupid fuck!!"

He literally drags you back into bed by you collar before storming out of the room. He comes back with an advil, a glass of water and a snack and pretty much stuffs your face with them.

"You have a stomach ache, huh? Well, maybe you shouldn't have eaten that piece of toast you dropped on the floor!! I swear if you didn't have me you'd be dead! How stupid do you have to be to get yourself sick like this huh?? Huh?!"

He would say all this while stuffing a pain killer down your throat and force feeding you a granola bar...

"C'mon eat. You can't take advil on an empty stomach dumbass! Get it together you should know this!"

Once he's done scolding you, he'll huff, laying back down on the bed. Positioning himself so he's spooning you. One of his hands on your stomach, the other in-between your thighs. Turning himself into your own personal heat pack.

He'll make sure you get to sleep before he let's himself fall back asleep.

In the morning, he'll make you breakfast, your favorite breakfast in fact. The whole time grumbling about how its your fault he got no sleep last night. Shoving a plate of beautifully cooked food infront of you...

As pissed as he makes you think he is, he really was worried about you.

Shouto

As cold as the people who don't know him think he is. You know him well enough to know he's a huge softy.

He would immediately ask of your ok. Rubbing your back gently. He doesn't even skip a beat when he sees you curled up in child's pose on your shared bed, your breath sharp and unsteady.

Asks you if you need need anything, and when you respond with a sad sounding "sleep," He smiles softly at you. Thinking you look kinda cute like this..

After he gives himself a moment to figure out what you need, he'll go to your medicine cabinet and get you a painkiller. He'll pour you a glass of water and light a sented candle for extra relaxation. He is determined to get you some sleep.

He will pet your hair softly, speaking to you with the gentlest tone.

"Hey, y/n... can you sit up for me, please? I got you a painkiller, but you need to sit up to take it...*

He would help you up, giving you the pill and the water. He would help you lay back down. Cuddling you up to his left side and heating it up a bit to help your muscles relax. And if you start getting too hot, he'll place his right hand on the back of your neck. Cooling you off.

He would keep you at the perfect temperature to sleep. And you would sleep. Surprisingly enough, one of the best sleeps of your entire life.

Kirishima

This poor boy is absolutely lost.

He has zero idea how to help you and is instead left trying to calm you down as you sob into the bed sheets...

(Please, he's so freaked out)

I can see him patting your back like an awkward dad y'know?

He tries to talk you out of it too. Trying to act like he's not scared out of his mind that you're dying or some shit..

"Hey.. hey. You're ok.. you're ok, right? You're fine. Im here. You don't have to cry.. please don't cry.. are you okay??"

He's trying so hard but is so confused. Your talking is almost unintelligible through your tears, but eventually, he hears a soft, "advil..." Through the sobs.

He will fetch you some immediately. It takes him less than a minute before he's back. Advil in hand. A very determined look on his face.

Within like 30 minutes your passed out on his chest again. Sleeping oh so peacefully. He can finally breath, thanking the gods your ok. He was so worried you have no idea. Or I guess you probably do considering how he was fumbling over his words and desperately trying to help you. Now he just runs his hands through your hair, falling asleep in the quiet bliss of your breathing.

He will research the fuck out of this in the morning and make sure he is well prepared for the next incident. After all it is so not manly to not know how to care for your significant other..

[leavingsunsets]

hello!

I would like to request hcs (if that's fine with you, because I saw you're more on the fics side :3) for Kinro (bro deserves more love), Sai and Ryusui with a very emotional and empathetic reader, who tries to mask it by acting all cool and unbothered, but it doesn't always work well. I prefer it to be on the more romantic side, but I don't mind the platonic one! It can be either female or gender neutral reader. I will rely on your intuition and creativity.

I hope I explained everything quite sensibly and understandably. ._.

Have a wonderful day!

Ohh my gosh hello hello! I don't mind hcs as well, since i lovw these characters so much like mwah mwah mwah (AHEM AHEM magic man COUGHCOUCGHFOUCGH) but anyways im doing gn reader so lots more ppl can enjoy tehee. here it is !!

"𝙋𝙤𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙣."

[gn!reader]

𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙧𝙤

Tbh i feel like Kinro is KINDAAA similar in the same sense?? like, all cool n stuff but hes actlly a real sweetie sometimes mwah mwah mwah. also ur right he deserves more love hes literally just a loveable guy

At first i think hed be surprised, like, all, "woah, uh, you good"

but then, i think among the three, isnt that fazed. hes around ginro almost 24/7 cmon.

but once he gets used to you he just stares when you get all cool and so indifferent then he goes "its okay to be sad about it" then you just start beating his chest bawling and he pats your back

platonically, thats what hed do. Like, hed just silently offer support while you tell him your troubles or thoughts. like nod along or put a hand on your shoulder in silent encouragement or just seem so cool while spouting out some wise words. (he puts a hand on your shoulder and you look at him, the wind blows his hair slightly, the light capturing him in a perfect angle. "i understand that feeling. i felt hurt when ginro laughed at the rip in my pants too" he whispers so coolly and you bust out laughing)

romantically, hed be more initiative in this type of stuff i think. like, if he saw you going away on your own hed follow after to talk. or be more nervous cuz this time hes ACTIVELY trying to cheer you up, like tryna be comforting even if his words come out awkward or something like that. "uhmm, thats bad.. uh.. do you wanna. do you wanna hug?"

either way, 10/10 this man will never disappoint, he doesnt, and he didnt. he is underrated and we should talk about him more def

𝙍𝙮𝙪𝙨𝙪𝙞 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞

Ohoooo. this maaan is likeeee. i dunno man i feel like he literally has the same reaction to every single type of person.

encouraging, supportive, and just a big big ball of sun

hed just pin you down as an interesting person and spout some compliments

even when you first meet and he sees how you work hes like "👍!!"

So lets say close friends now. he sees you go 'its okay. I dont care' and he sees you be all 'im going to dramatically sit on a rock and have a glistening tear down my face lit by the sun' and he'll like, smack your back 4 times going 'ITS OKAY MY FRIEND ITS OKAY'

Platonic?? just like that. how he treats everyone which is of course very special. goes 'hey, its alright. like really. im here to be a bud and give u some encouragement' and be all like 'DW MY FRIEND' and just even gives u nice talks

ROMANTICALLY?? kind of the same, but but but but. he litrlly goes and does smthng to cheer u up. like litrlly does the same as platonically, but later even when ur all cheered up, brings u to a nice place like a nice view. Doesnt SAY anything cheesy but ltrlly aheaeha RAWR ryusui nanami i cant believe you just took me to a nice dinner date

𝙎𝙖𝙞 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞

okay hmmm. idk depends on the intensity of it he MIGHT be averse?? Not entirely but as long as youre not bawling and sniffling i think ur good 👍

ok so u first meet right? and then he meets u 'oh cool person ok. rlly chill' then after awhile he sees you start sniffling over someones sob story and hes all like 'aweee'

NOT IN A 'thats cute' WAY LIKE. HES JUS LIKE THINKING 'OH THIS PERSON RLLY CARES ALOT THATS SWEET A LITTLE'

maybe that might be a bonding factor. Like, the fact that ur empathetic and soooo YKNOW, YOU

so like when u werent close he was all like 'ohh. ahhh wow. i see.' now hes all like 'haha theres my little gober gomble with the gummy goo' but he will never say that ofc grrr

PLATONICALLY. hes as goober as can be. literally being all friends friends with you and loving your company. like, actively approaches you and goes 'hey!!!! :3!!'. literally a sweetie yall talk about stuff and the whole time hes like :3 and all supportive and encouraging throughout whatever ur feeling, blue or yello, red or green.

fixes my bowtie. Now. ROMANTICALLY?? so this is only it does blossom after the platonic stage. he does the same things, except all 'hmgngmg omg.. its them...' inside now. More active tending to you in your moments, happy or blue. like cheering if ur cheering, fretting over u if youre sad over smthng, stuff like that. or angry, like going 'PLS PLS PLS PLS' holding you back from hitting someone on the head. literally just the same in platonic but hes so so so sooo in love with you and loves you, for being you, more than anything

_____________

WHEW and thats. yeah. thats it. Again i am so sorry for the disproportionate pics n headers EVERYTIME i literally crop them on my own sometimes n i dont know where else to get them. but yah i hope u enjoyed and sorry it took soo long :333 !! Hcs are easier for me 2 do than fics because they take less time and like, hmm, its not that hard since theres no plot planning or proofreading or anything like that. but yes WOOO ENJOY I HOPE YALL KEEP ENJOYIG THE RARE FICS IS PUT OUT IM SO SORRY FOR THAT TOO 😭😭

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i���m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[autisticjoshrusso]

ok ok ok. a post about josh, buck, and maddie at dispatch as promised. (and because i dont feel like writing a whole separate post or repeating myself etc, if im pointing something out as evidence for my autistic josh headcanon, it'll be in parenthesis like this) also this is long because im going basically line by line in some places so just be prepared for that and such.

the first thing i wanna say before anything else is that like... as far as how this conversation fits into the larger narrative, i was fairly disappointed, due to the way that including this scene like this is kinda implying that the racism was fine because of being closeted etc. HOWEVER. luckily for my sanity it is pretty clear that from a character perspective, that's not at all what's being said by josh himself here, and we can be pretty certain that he is not aware of tommy's past behaviors. in fact he has almost no facts or context about the situation, which i'll get into later.

now that the disclaimer is out of the way, im gonna move onto character analysis and will not be touching on what i think the narrative might have meant etc. any further. like this is going to be purely talking about character dynamics and dissecting the dialogue etc.

we start out right away by skipping all the exposition right into a hard cut of maddie reacting to the news that tommy and abby were engaged. LOVE this set up we get right into the important part quickly and we as the audience only have to hear information that is new to us, not the information being repeated back to the character for whom the information is new.

and oh maddie. i love you so bad. she's like DAMN thats crazy, and then makes the obvious turning people gay joke. her energy here is sooo like it didn't make sense until looking at it in retrospect, but she's shocked and invested yet not taking it very seriously as a concern for buck, because well, she's having a baby and this is objectively not that serious comparatively <3 but i do love that she sees buck's reaction and quickly reins it in and is like woah im kidding im not actually being homophobic holy smokes. which. it kinda still is a little. but i think she's allowed <3

and then... josh enters the scene. he apparently only walked in as buck was saying "-kissed a boy" so of course he had to be like huh? gay shit? something gay? boys?? what's going on over here? and i love that for him. and i love that maddie immediately is like oh hi bestie i catch u up to speed on the tea <3 the maddiejosh bestieism is so back we never lose <3 and that fact that she's like. feeding in the facts in a way to dramatically amp up the tale i love it. she really said man the things my baby brother gets himself caught up in are wild.... anyway <3 true sibling behavior is finding the perfect balance between being supportive and being so so annoying <3

and she is supportive still. like when it becomes clear that there's something deeper going on here she does try to help him work through it. and its so interesting to me the way she is sort of seriously contemplating his words and is shocked when josh not only speaks up but is being very serious and equally focused on the problem at hand. it's like... she's trying so hard to figure out how to help her brother with something she doesn't fully understand that having someone else speak up to help them kind of shocks her and boy does that say something about their lives and the buckley sibling dynamic!

side note, the way josh is jokingly like "she didn't bring her personal life to work, unlike SOME people" and maddie's little look of mock offense?? they're so cute i cant handle it.

i also really love how the shots are framed during this conversation. at first, even when she's not talking and is just listening to josh talk, maddie is still in frame, we're still getting her reaction, she's an active participant in what's going on. and then there is the one shot where she's talking and josh is out of frame, hidden by buck, because whatever reaction he might be having isn't important, it's a buckley sibling moment. (he's not an active participant at that point; he's entirely observing and reacting and gathering information, not dictating the direction of the conversation whatsoever.)

it's only when josh gets very serious and it starts to turn into a heart to heart moment just between him and buck that maddie is allowed to leave the frame. it still goes back to her in very brief cuts when her reaction is relevant, but she steps back out of focus and let's josh handle the conversation. and i love that so much. thank GOD someone else is helping buck sort out his problems that isn't his parentified sister or just generally someone more marginalized than him. it was kind of getting irritating to watch, as much as i love buck so much. like dude... the emotional labor. watch it.

and man. this conversation guys. everything about it makes me an insane crazy person. ive already mentioned this in the tags of some other posts but like... its so fascinating because on the surface it is such a cohesive conversation, but when you really break it down and analyze both of their expressions and body language alongside what they're saying, you can start to see the cracks in it. what one of them is saying is not what the other one is hearing, in both directions. they are having two different conversations and i think it's critical to analyze both of those conversations and how they are interacting with each other. what josh says, what josh hears, what buck says, and what buck hears are four entirely separate things happening alongside each other.

the first part is josh trying to get a sense for how serious this relationship is to buck. when buck falters at the question of "do you love him?", he elaborates with follow-up questions that, to josh, define "love" or close enough to it. answering "yes" to those questions is close enough to a "yes" to the question of "do you love him?".

(which. ok. the particular choice of questions makes me insane because they do essentially boil down to "do you prefer this person to solitude and grant them an equal or greater importance to yourself?" which is sooo... it's said from the point of view of someone who greatly values their solitude and would not easily grant someone that level of importance.)

unfortunately, well, buck is NOT someone who greatly values his solitude, and puts other people before himself quite easily. buck would answer "yes" to those questions for basically anyone. josh does not know or understand this about buck and takes buck's answers at face value, while buck is taking this as sort of... it's hard to explain, and i think others have done a better job of capturing buck's perspective already tbh. he's convincing himself that he loves tommy here because josh is unknowingly handing him that information and expectation, and buck loves to mold himself to fit an expectation etc.

and then comes the second part, which... i think this is where it is most critical to realize that josh has none of the context about tommy, abby, and buck and those respective relationships. by his own admission, he didn't really know much about abby or about her breakup with tommy beyond the fact that it was upsetting. he didn't hear the way tommy talked about abby to buck at dinner, and he definitely didn't get to see any of the real fallout and damage to her psyche that tommy leaving her caused.

but buck did! im not inclined to rewatch s1 to get any exact quotes or anything but from what i remember, she either outright said or implied that she was so heartbroken because tommy left her because of her mother's illness. buck is understandably very upset because he understands exactly what she went through and how, unless abby was lying to not out him, he didn't exactly come clean with the breakup, and left her feeling like it was her fault, like there was something wrong with her or she was being weighed down by caring for her mother. he calls tommy's behavior exactly what it is: dishonest and cruel.

but josh doesn't know this. all he is hearing is a young, freshly out bisexual calling a gay man "dishonest and cruel" for having been engaged to a woman for his own protection. and he responds exactly how you'd expect! he reminds him of queer history and the fact that he doesn't really have a right to judge the people who grew up and had to survive in a world that was much less safe to come out in.

(and i said in my other post that's still doing numbers that "pre-Glee/post-Glee" is an actual queer discourse talking point and makes sense that it'd be used here, as awkward and cheesy as it seems, but it's also a win for my television/film/popular media/hollywood culture/etc. as a special interest headcanon. <3 we love to see it)

and it kills me because of course buck is just going to take this at face value and decide he needs to stop feeling the discomfort he's feeling, leading to the subsequent doubling down and over committing that is typical of his unhealthy relationship patterns.

(and then at the end of the speech josh has to literally announce that he's leaving DSJFHJKDSKJ. because walking away/ending conversations is so awkward and difficult and the easiest way to mitigate that is to lean into the Dramatic Homosexual Stereotype mask or whatever <3 i've long been of the opinion that josh is someone who uses the behaviors associated with queer men and queer masculinity as the blueprint for his neurotypical mask, which is why he often comes across as being just a little bit off from the Funny and Bitchy Gay vibes that it seems like he's going for. and boy did his exit from this scene just reinforce that headcanon so hard!)

they wrap the scene with a little bit more levity too which is kind of nice to like. move on from that. because it got kind of heavy there for a second.

overall i do like what this scene accomplished, but like i said at the start, i think it has some really unfortunate implications that weigh it down for me. still, always nice to get more josh content, especially when it's pretty consistent with his character as established AND not at all related to doing his job. we got to see him and maddie being goofy and maddie being allowed to let someone else deal with buck's problems for a second. and the whole thing was very well shot! excellent camera work going on throughout.

i don't actually know how to end this post so yknow. im gonna make a dramatic exit now or whatever <3

[ma3mae]

Don't be so annoyed, love!

Summary: He's so annoying sometimes but it's ok because you love him 😭 (HC w/ Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo)

Genre: Crack, fluff, lowkey suggestive themes

Warnings: 🗿 we ignoring the red flags bc we can. also mentions of farting bc dazai 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿

A/N: u cant tell me that they wouldnt do any of these things ok 💀also kunikida's got a small drabble out of nowhere but im always wildin when it comes to him 😭😭😭😭😭

Dazai Osamu

u cant tell me that as soon as hes rly comfortable in ur relationship that he WOULD NOT be ashamed of just farting outta nowhere honestly 💀

Like yall r just chilling on the couch, watching smth and he just lets it all out bc why should he hold himself back 🗿

Hes at home 🗿

But bro's lucky he doesnt smell but 🗿🗿🗿🗿 wheres the warning from him

u give him the side eye and hes like "What? Are you perhaps ashamed of human nature, bella?" like ok we'll leave him alone but he ruined the emotional moment of the movie yall were watching 😭😭😭

Is also the type to prob leave his socks and clothes lying around

It got better over time but he still sometimes does it bc old habits die hard i guess 🧍

once got so bad you just collected all of his clothes and put them infront of the door so he'd have no choice but to pick all of that up and do it himself 💀

would try to talk his way out of it in the beginning but also felt kinda bad after the relationship got more and more serious

So now hes a good bf/ husband and does it himself 🤩 (with the occasional sock under the couch 💀)

drinking habits would take a bit longer to be fully gone, he'd learn to regulate it over time

He's learned to warn you tho when he thinks that a rly shitty day might hit him bc work and more

sometimes you take the day off and do something together to take his mind off of it

Sometimes you're at work and a "im home" text without hearts will come and you know whats wrong

would feel more comfortable over time letting you take care of him

will definitely show you his appreciation for you the next days in one way or the other 🤩💅

talking about living together, yall would often have to sit down to talk about his spendings bc our man cant save for ANYTHING

Used to often come home with little things like "Look, this reminded me of you!" and it's a plushie of a cat or something

Started off cute and small but got dramatic like him really fast

ngl he came home with a expensive necklace u liked when the both of u went shopping but u didnt buy it bc.. she expensive...

like he was charming as always with his "Tada! Guess what I've got you?~ 😋" ".... Not the necklace...? 😧" "🤩 How did you guess that right, bella??" "😨😨"

THIS man right here wouldnt even hesitate to just right out fking steal shit for you if u want it bc thats how much Power u got over him he'd never admit that tho sksks... OK maybe in bed...

he'd def either blackmail or bribe chuuya into helping him with stealing

probably even has access to his bank account and you'd only realize that when he'd stand infront of your door, asking where that "f*cking b*stard" is

you'd legit have to mediate their convo or else the whole building you live in would be gone immediately skks 💀

Chuuya likes u so he wouldnt make yall pay for it bc he knows that dazai's nearly broke 24/7 and u dont deserve to pay for his fault 💅

it would be enough to destroy his pride to make him obey chuuya for like 2 weeks or sum cue evil cackling from said red head

queen of Gaslightining nr. 1 😭 sometimes its for the dumbest arguments tho like why its okay to smack your lips while eating 😭

"I don't know it's just really noisy and kinda annoying for me?" "But Bella, that shows just how tasty your food is or are going to deny that fact and say that I should not show my appreciation for it? What if for me personally it's a sign of a good meal?" "Yeah but doesnt need to be that for me. Also you can show your appreciation for it in other ways like just simply saying its delicious?"

"But actions speak louder than words, my love." "YEAH, well then what do you want then???"

Its just a whole shit show and would (lmao it WILL) end in him giving you just shameless bedroom eyes and well you know whats gonna be after dinner lmaooo 🤡😭

Also also i do believe that hes not the best cook at first but hes a real fast learner so it prob would only take him a week of consuming cooking videos and reading books and BOOM

"Samu, is this a 3 course meal you're cooking because that's a LOT of ingredients in the kitchen." "Sssh just sit down, wash yourself up and enjoy the evening, my love! I'll call you when I'm done 💕"

Manages to somehow still give you some snacks and drinks in between the cooking 😭 with some sneaked in kisses on your shoulder or lips 😏

If you go and hug him from behind, he'll be MELTING

Like nuzzling your face into his back while wrapping your arms around his torso, you feel the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckles at your cute action 😭

"If you want to eat something then you should take a break from being so cute, you know? Don't want the food to go bad from maybe getting a bit distracted if you stay here for a bit longer." "Ew, are you implying you'd start something infront of our food??"

"... Well, I can just have a whole meal by myself but you'd be left hungry so it's your choice 😋"

🗿 the way he doesnt need long to be turned on is alwaya amazing to u but thats just how whipped he is and bro is a whole snack himself so WHOS complaining 😋💅

food's is guaranteed to taste heavenly but if he knows youve got time, then he'd make excuses to taste your cooking like

"Samu, it's been a while since I've gotten to taste your cooking." "Aww, was it that delicious for you? Hmm but I actually prefer your cooking!"

Time for some cooking and baking lessons together, eoow 💅 with the occasional make out session because the sauce found it's way on your lips and he just had to clean it up with his 😭😋

honestly despite all of some of the difficulties, dazai would never fail in making you feel loved in his own way even tho u gotta peel back some layers 🗿

At the end of the day, his bear hugs and many kisses are smth u love to come back home to after work

also doesnt say it but would def be a house husband for u 🤩 with the occasional "whoops gotta go and do smth quick" text and he comes home at like midnight skks bc the agency needs his cute ass 😋 but dw dinner's ready and house chores have been done so enjoy ur evening after work, zurlie 💅

dont kill me for this but id give him a 7.5/10 😭

Obsessed with him and i love him but it would prob be really really exhausting to get him to FULLY trust you and its honestly understandable

Also he kinda makes me feel like i'd have to walk on eggshells around him because you often dont really know what hes thinking 😭😭

could smile at u while thinking "why u so ugly" 😭😭

also bro is so smooth, its scary like he'd prob make us forget immediately that hes trying to find out everything about us(why he sounding like a stalker 😨😨 wouldnt want him to be MY stalker 😨😨 or would I?? 🤩) MY DELULU BRAIN 👹

Doppo Kunikida

😨 Cleaning maniac

personification of the verse "I can COOk, i can CLEAN" (i know its "dont" instead of can but we all know hes like perfect house husband material... maybe a bit too perfect 💀💀💀👹)

If u forgot a cup on the dinner table, he'd legit take the cup, put it in ur hand and be like "why did u leave it there if u r not using it"

WILL def rant about why u shouldnt do it

Honestly huge nagging mom vibes 💀💀

At the beginning of moving in together, he'd just clean everything without a word whatsoever

Like you wanna help around the house too? NUH UH, he already finished everything up.

Vaccuming the house? Done

Swiping? Lmao be sure to not arrive at home after work around that time bc u gotta stand at the door and WAIT until the floor is dried 💀😭

Dishes have been done like at 5 in the fucking morning 💀👹

Bro thankfully doesn't wash clothes that often (gotta be careful of the water bill 😭) but there r days where he legit throws his clothes nearly everyday bc the worse the mission the more blood yk 🗿🗿

U had to legit drag his ass to the couch to talk to him bc he gonn be deep clean the house if someone doesnt stop him

"Kuni, you literally don't need to do EVERYTHING by yourself! I'm also here to help and frankly, it feels like you're my maid sometimes 😞" " Don't worry. Everything fits perfectly in my time plan and since you sometimes work overtime, it's better if I do a bit more of it."

... "🗿 You are legit saving this city from being destroyed so often and I just sit in the office, bro 🤡" "I understand your argument but I have seen the way you look tired so often so let me take a bit of your burden"

He knows how to make us go "🥺"

The argument prob went on for an hour until yall settled on making a plan on who does what on which days and if someone's gotta work overtime or sum then the other takes a bit of it over and so on

So in the end its alrighty 🎉

Groceries and so on are never a problem except it sometiems turns out like going shopping with your mom because...

"Omg Kuni, look!!" *holds up cute decoration* "We could put this on our dinner table! Isn't it cute 🥺??"

Bro just takes it from you and looks at the price. Legit gives you the 🤨 look

"That's 937,32 Yen (around 6€) 🤨🤨. For a tiny statue of a dog? We could find it somewhere way cheaper." "🥺 But it's a limited edition and it reminds me of you bc its got the same fur color 🥺. It's even got ur glasses on 🥺"

Bro will say no but the day after you spot the dog on the table 🤡

Yall lying in bed together and cuddle so give him a peck on the lips while killing him with your cute ass smile (U MURDERER 🗿🗿)

"What was that for?" "Hmmm, well I just noticed that said statue magically appeared on our table. You think it was a cute long haired fairy with glasses and a grumpy look 😋? "

He tries really hard to deadpan at you but the corner of his lips still tug upwards as he pinches your nose

"Well, sometimes its not so bad to buy a little extra, I guess."

If theres a market nearby with some really good deals then you'd either be dragged together with him or he'd come home after work with tons of bags

Always surprises you in how good he is at negotiating about the price

Sometimes you gotta stop him from arguing with some of the shop keepers because some decided to sell some items way too overpriced 🗿🗿🗿

you once found him stay up all night researching about reasonable prices for veggies... 😨

and cue to yall standing in the morning infront of said shop keeper getting absolutely destroyed in an argument by your man.. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Well guess who even got some extra free stufd because kuni terrified the shit out of him 😋

"Thank you for your hard work in harvesting and selling us these delicious vegetables. My wife is quite a fan of them." Your husband said as he put the money into the shop keepers shaky hands, face red in embarassement as he squeezed out a "It's nothing." between his teeth. His face paled at the words "We'll see each other next Monday. Until then have a great week." leaving your man's mouth as he gave him a friendly smile before taking your hand and going to the next stall,only for you to sheepishly wave goodbye to the shop keeper before going with your husband.

"Well, you gave him quite the scare back there." You said as you felt him squeeze your hand a bit tighter, the bustling of the array of people only increasing by minutes. "Someone had to correct his ways. It would help his sales but only if he's willing to take that advice seriously." he simply answered as he looked at the contents of the bag, counting the ingredients left to purchase.

"Well atleast we got ourselves more than we needed so we can go home and call it a day." "Who are you?" Chuckling at your surprised face out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to make his way towards the end of the market, to finally reach your car.

"I thought over your words and I do believe it would be nice to" laze around together "for once in a while. Everything in the house has already been done, so maybe we could try out that one series you've been talking about. The reviews seem to be quite positive about it."

He just lets a breathy laugh escape his lips at your squeal while you begin to rant on why its gonna be so good watching it and

UUUUGGHHGH 😭😭😭😭 GIVE ME KUNIKIDAAAAAAAGHHHHHH 😭😭😭🤡🤡👹👹👹

honestly there are like no real red flags like his red flags are disguised green flags and yall can legit work through it easily

The only thing would be his tendency to overwork himself and it could lead to an argument but never a real fight because hes pretty easy to reason with

Like even when hes stubborn, he'll STILL listen to your words because the many good things about him that he'd always make sure to take your words seriously 🗿🗿

which sometimes makes it tempting to tease him bc we can lowkey understand why dazai easily tells him the most outrageous shit and your man just casually writes it down in his notebook 😭

"That damn idiot managed to fool me again by telling me that aliens have been among us (AMOGUS 👹) and that the goverment has been hiding it from us for decades." "I thought you already knew about that tho?"

"What" "What?"

"Wait so they're real?"

Cue to him showing him a video (that dazai sent to you a week ago just for this moment 😭)

Lmao dont tease him too much tho but dw, he cant stay mad at you at all lmao 😋💅

Honestly a 8.5/10 bc his nagging scares me 💀😭

Edogawa Ranpo

"Greatest Detective" more like "Queen of Gaslightining" 👹👹

Everyone knows hes way too obsessed with sweets but how the hell is his teeth actually still existing 🗿🗿

ngl i believe fukuzawa would prob sometimes just randomly ask him if he brushed his teeth bc he lowkey lowkey raised him ok 🤡

Ranpo is all nice like "yup, i did." but when u ask him, hes a whole b*tch about it

"Hah??? Why would you ask me that?? Do you really believe that I'd be so dumb to forget about brushing my teeth? If i can solve the most difficult cases then why would you assume that brushing my teeth might something that I'd forget, huuuhh??"

His gaslightining used to work at the beginning of ur relationship but sooner or later its not hard to notice his patterns 🗿

Like yas ok, he could just put up a whole ass strategy in how to not get u to notice that he didnt brush em at all but bro

Hes too lazy

And hes a sucker for attention 😩 like he might be "annoyed" if u nag at him bc of smth but he absolutely loves it bc its just one of his many ways to get ur attention without him having to actively get up and get it for himself 🤡🤡🤡🤡

Hes a huge clown but i love him 😭

Dazai tends to forget his socks or smth lying on the floor but THIS mf right here just doesnt rly care 😭

Like that was the first thing u noticed when u entered his apartment 🤡

Its not right out messy on a disgusting degree, its more like theres tons of trinkets n shit from cases or just random candy wrap hidden under the couch 💀💀💀

The epitome of "I can do it tomorrow" bc bro doesnt forget, he just IGNORES that he has to do it 😭

might take a while to actually get him to yk do smth around the house

used to prob only sleep and shower at his apartment and thats it💀

But when hes whipped then hes whipped and hed actually try his best to help around the house

Key word "try" 🤡

Like its often tbh accompanied by "okay, ill do it but only if i get smth"

A MANCHILD, I SAY 👹👹👹👹

But there are days when he legit deep cleans everything by himself bc either you had a bad day or yall had a fight 👹👹

still would whip out the "now gimme something, please 😋" if yall cuddle after a fight and he cleaned and tidied everything up for his love 🤩

doesnt always have to be candy yk HEUEHEUEHEUUE 👹👹👹👹👹

also its not a surprise but dont let him near the kitchen

HE COULD

HE RLY COULD COOK SO WELL

Like he had only cooked for ONE time and it was like a fever dream

Bc u legit had a fever and he cooked chicken soup but uhm 🗿

he cooked it so good??? Like veggies n meat cut and cooked up nicely?

Broth kicking in real hard?

Like? "What the hell? I thought you couldn't cook??"

Bro is about to put that spoon fr away 💀

"I'm not so heartless to let you starve and I definitely wont be giving you some cheap soup either. I just looked it up on the internet and followed the instructions so you gotta get well soon because I miss your cooking 🤩🤩"

Are we flattered?? Gurl, maybe but he'd def know if we tried to make ourselves be sick to taste his cooking again

Bro only offers to help when it comes to baking 😪😮‍💨😮‍💨

His only help is licking the dough or chocolate outta the bowl or smth 😀

would sneak in many kisses tho bc he likes u and sweet stuff is just sugar overload for him and he loves it 🤩

I think one of the important factors for him in a relationship is that fukuzawa approves of you? Since he does value his opinion over his own intellect

Like bro trusted him when it came to Fukichi and other ppl 💀

fukuzawa could legit go "aliens r evil" and ranpo would be like "ok everyone, aliens are evil!!!!" 🗿🗿🗿

honesrly i dont think why there would be a reason for fukuzawa not to accept you (if there is one then time to take 100 steps back and reflect on urself 💀)

He'd prob be impressed on how u even fell in love with him bc.. its ranpo💀

petty, clingy, can be manipulative ( but never with ill intentions), would legit prank ur ass bc he can, impatient and quickly bored af

But hes attentive, kind, can be patient when it comes down to it, empathetic (depends sksks) (also thank u fukuzawa for kinda ramming that into his head 🤩), affectionate in his own way (a sucker for physical touch but would NEVER right out admit it 🗿) and so much more honestly

there arent any real red flags tbh (might come as a surprise for some ppl)

Maybe maybe he'd obviously have a bit of difficulty fully opening up and i do believe there might be times where he once or twice legit deducted what ur feelings r for him bc hes used to being careful around people and especially bc in case someonw could randomly target the agency

Or is some kinda criminal in general

But honestly when hes learned to trust you then you know youve got yourself someone loyal 💅 and i mean FR loyal

personal favorite hc and honestly prob canon since we've already seen it : he'd not be ashamed to throw hands at someone when he thinks you're being insulted or harassed

And with hands i mean exposing them to 100% until they are pissing their pants and begging him to leave them alone 🤩🤩🤩

Also also, gives me off a similar vibe to dazai with the "maybe having to walk on eggshells" around them but ranpo doesnt make you feel as watched tbh as dazai which would kinda make it easier to talk to

but bro isnt as smooth as him so whOOP 💀💀

Overall iconic and a solid 8/10 🤩🤩🤩💕💕💕

The random ratings i gave them LMAO 💀💀💀 hope u like em 🗿

[modelbus]

YOOOO MODDLEE

yeah I did it again.

(Help I have a problem of disappearing into thin air)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PART THREE OF CUT CHAOS SHEBSJNSUH

you said you would write 500 chapters.. but like obviously exaggerating..? (Kiddinggg)

tho a few more couldn’t hurt..

juuuust saying if you ever feel like it I will eventually see it and it will eventually make my week. <3333

BUT THATS NOT WHY WE ARE HERE! (I’m sorry my requests are always so long and dramatic bro I just brain like that)

Actual request:

ok so like I knowww cut chaos started from rumours but like rumours are an easy way to start plot lines k? (Also I use she pronouns out of habit but they is pog too)

the friends in question: Tommyinnit (duh), Wilbur (moosic boi), Ranboo (generation loss trauma guy), Possibly Slimecicle?? I know he’s not someone you do requests for normally buttt if you’re okay with it that would be POG, or if slime is a no, tubbo!

SO a few months ago Y/N started working on an SMP with some minimal custom mods, some fancy texture packs, maybe some data packs, and its like this BIGGG project, BUT its not public and its taking a lot of her time, so she can only really do a few streams and most of the time because her schedule is so full its hard to work out streams with friends so, she is alone. with the internet being the internet people started to think something was up, some annoyed viewers made a few rumours and people kept making things up and escalating things until people were saying she did all sorts of horrible things to “lose all her friends” but one of the most popular theories was that she was emotionally abusing them (??? Internet wildin ig) she ignored them while mostly finishing the stuff for the smp, but decided to address it in a very- y/n way. Getting four friends to come to her house and hide slightly off camera while she made a purposefully bad apology video only for them to jump out at the end and her to stand up and be like “YALL REALLY THOUGHT I WAS SOME MASTER MANIPULATOR?! I’M JUST A FUNKY LITTLE CHAOTIC MINECRAFT GOBLIN N’ I’VE BEEN WORKING ON AN SMP THIS WHOLE TIME!! ITS GONNA BE SUPER COOL AND THESE FOUR PLUS ALOOOOT MORE PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE THERE I’M POSTING THE CREATORS SOON AND ITS LAUNCHING IN A MONTH!, SO STOP ASSUMING I’M A BAD PERSON AND GET PUMPED BITCHES!” something along those lines, maybe at the end a little peek at what people are responding with. (Obviously no pressure, but like id be cool) (thanks for considering deity of the busses and models.)

HOW WE LIKING THE SILLIES?!?

P.S I’m not always an angst gremlin (just most of the time..) - ✨🌌🌙 Annon

I DO BE LIKING THE SILLIES (and thank you for elevating me to the level of deity, my ego has been inflated)

Pairing: Cc! Wilbur, Tommy, Ranboo, Charlie Slimecicle x Gn!Reader (platonic)

Roaring Rumors

Life was all about sacrifices.

Or, that’s what you keep telling yourself when you’re up at 1AM working on your server. Putting together an SMP is harder than it sounds; texture packs, data packs, comparability, world-building, even the (seemingly) simply act of contacting people to play on it. For the amount of time you spent on your computer, your hands might as well be part of your keyboard.

Sleep wasn’t the only thing you sacrificed. Streaming, even just fun ones with your friends, had quickly became rare. Although you loved to hop on a call while coding still, your online presence had severely receded.

You just keep telling yourself that sacrifices are necessary. That the payoff would be worth it.

And it really would be, but you just had to get there first. Which was proving harder than you had thought.

At the very least, you still had your friends. Wilbur sitting silently on call with you while you work, Tommy dragging you out of your room, Ranboo always willing to get excited over your progress. Every day you woke up with a text from your groupchat—typically Charlie—just filling you in on the latest internet trend by a meme.

Today, your news comes from Wilbur and Tommy.

“I think they’re canceling you.” Wilbur says casually while you’re in the midst of detailing the hunger bar for a texture pack.

“Ooh, you’re a wrong’un!” Tommy yells in the background of Wilbur’s side of the call.

The three of you had been idly chatting while each doing your own thing. Wilbur and Tommy were engaged in some Twitter competition, as far as you know.

“Canceling me for what?” You ask, deciding to ignore Tommy’s shouting.

“Existing, I think.” Wilbur answers.

“So the normal.”

“The normal.”

Although the conversation stops there, you can’t help yourself. Later, during one of the few hours you dedicate to getting sleep to stay alive, you pull open Twitter on your phone. Your last tweet was nearly two weeks ago, so it’s been a minute.

But you just want to make sure nothing horrible happened while you were busy. You’re a content creator, this is normal. Definitely. You definitely aren’t just justifying this so you can do it.

You swipe through tweets, heading to trending and searching your name. Tweets load, making your mouth run dry. Wilbur wasn’t joking.

All you can do is scroll, reading as the messages get wilder and wilder. From people saying they were missing you to theories on why nobody was streaming you. Each one seemed considerably more implausible, and before you know it you’re glaring at your screen like it’s to fault.

Some thought you had grown apart.

Some thought you had a falling out.

And, apparently, a lot thought you were emotionally abusing them. Or, depending on the tweet, manipulating them.

Quite honestly, you didn’t even know how they got the idea. The long threads of explanations did nothing but send you into a spiral, biting your bottom lip so hard that it bleeds.

You were so close to finishing the SMP. It needed just a few things, then you'd be able to start scheduling to get it up and running. You didn't have the time nor mental capacity to deal with whatever the fuck is going on right now.

Is it a good choice? Maybe not. But do you still ignore the accusations? Hell yes.

-

By the time you get even closer to finishing the preparations for your SMP, you've come up with the perfect plan to address the (quite stupid) rumors. It'll be a two-in-one; you address the rumors and announce the SMP at the same time.

"How long do I have to lay on this floor?" Tommy asks, stretched out behind your chair.

"Nobody asked you to lay on the floor." Wilbur points out, standing next to your computer. Charlie, on the other side, laughs.

"Yeah man, you wanted to be down there."

"Besides, I'm doing great down here!" Ranboo chimes in.

You roll your eyes, grinning. "I'm about to start stream, so it won't be for much longer. Just wait for my cue, yeah?"

Tommy grumbles, but shuts up. You take that as your chance to start the stream, switching it off your waiting screen and waving to the camera. Your chosen stream title has brought in a bit more than your usual casual steam view number, "Talking about some serious stuff," leading people to believe there will be drama. And if it's drama they want, it's drama you'll give.

"Hello, hello!" You smile, leaning back. "So I've decided to talk about some things. Namely, the Twitter shit. I am so sorry for everything, and I mean that. A lot. Sincerely. There's meaning in it."

Tommy snorts, and from the corner of your eye you catch Wilbur kick him to shut him up.

"What am I sorry about?" You ask rhetorically, acting like you read it off of chat. "Oh, you know. People have been saying all types of stuff. The things about me manipulating my friends?" There's a pause while you let that sink in. "So, I'm sorry."

It's a purposefully shitty apology, but you sigh and act like its heartfelt for a few moments, nodding towards chat. Their messages are mostly confused, especially because it isn't one emote-only.

"Sorry you guys are so gullible!" You shout, and Tommy practically tackles you.

Wilbur's the one to fix your chair, Ranboo and Charlie appearing next to you within moments.

"You guys really thought this one could manipulate me? The master?" Charlie asks the stream, pointing at you.

"Yeah!" Tommy shouts, way too energetic for someone who complained five minutes ago about being on the floor. "We're the master manipulators! Get fooled!"

"I, for one, haven't manipulated anyone-" Ranboo starts, but Tommy slaps a hand over his mouth and nods empathetically.

"Yeah, I don't know what you guys were thinking, but I've just been playing fucking Minecraft for the past few months nonstop." You laugh.

"Nonstop. It's a problem." Wilbur nods.

"It is not a problem!" Pause. "Anyways, I made an SMP! And that's where I've been! Not because I've been manipulating my friends or some shit, stop being dumbasses."

"It'll be super cool!" Ranboo adds in helpfully.

"These four-"

"That's us!" Charlie points around at himself, Wilbur, Tommy, and Ranboo.

"-will be on it, plus a lot more. It'll be posting those people soon! As in, check your Twitter obsessively guys! The SMP will be in about a month, too, so get fucking excited! I want to see some hype!"

"WOO!" Tommy screams, making everyone cringe at having their eardrums ruptured.

"So that's all I wanted to talk about I think. Anything to add, guys?" You glance around at the four surrounding you with a grin.

"One thing." Charlie nods, leaning in really close. "I have a secret. This SMP, it's actually-" He hits your end stream button mid-sentence. "And that's how you keep 'em interested."

-

Ycgmaenthusist NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP NEW SMP

Mammalianeighingreflecenthusiest We are dumb as fuck aren’t we

Poabsenthusiest i will RIOT IN THE STREETS if any of yall be mean to MY STREAMER -> Cmwylenthusist FR I GOT TWO FISTS AND A CAUSE

[sillystappen]

HELLO

i was wondering if you can do max as a singer and not a driver

i wonder if he can be MARINA and he interested in f1 and goes there to watch the races

HIHI!!!

Singer!Max huh? Ok I see you.

And mother of god did figuring the logistics of this AU hurt my brain :')

Ofc Max would retain his interest in F1 heck I might even make him kart when he was a kid but drop out for angsty lore reasons. Naturally this would make his relationship with his father very strained and almost nonexistent if it weren't for the fact Max still hasn't blocked his number. He spent most of his kid/teenage life with his mum and sister in belgium and thrived in music classes, having a natural sense of rhythm and being able to hear the layers in a song. He still watches F1 on tv and becomes a Daniel fan after Spain 2014 - Daniel's first podium, though he also is team Rosberg when brocedes happens (no reason other than I like Nico Rosberg)

As for his music type honest to god I can see why you would say MARINA as those lyrics can definitely be Max coded but genre wise and looking at her performing idk if that fits the Max vibes bc I wanna keep him from going too OOC. But not in a total stray from the idea of MARINA, I propose... Conan Gray. Still kinda indie vibes (and I love indie) and there's a lot of desiderium songs as well as full on pop bops and hopeless romantic stuff which give people some good emotional rollercoaster concerts. However these songs and albums release date will be manipulated to it my narrative because trying to align a calendar with an interesting plot and those songs just was too much...

For Daniel and any race settings, I am thinking of using the 2021 season. Which I'm sure you all are thinking: Silly, what would be the 2021 season without Max in it? Wouldn't it just go to Lewis without a fight? And I thought long and hard about it, looking through the grid and reserves to see who if anyone should take the seat that Max originally had and... it's Daniel. You heard it here first folks this baby is a Daniel never left Red Bull fic too. Using this Mr V's Garage's video, I borrowed the simulated 2021 season between Norris and Sainz and made it Lewis and Daniel (who will ofc win) with 3rd place going to Checo (because i like checo) and 4th Bottas. As for Abu Dhabi... there's no way it won't be controversial come on.

I imagine a meeting between Daniel and Max would be him getting paddock passes after saving up and ends up being recognised by Daniel at the Belgian Grand Prix. At this point he has he has had Kid Krow out for nearly 2 years after saving a crap load of money from royalties and a birthday gift from his sister he finally had enough money for a paddock pass over a grandstand ticket (but holy fuck those things are expensive). He meets Daniel who is like "holy shit you're Max Verstappen! Wearing my DR3 hat?" and Max feels like holy shit is very much correct because Daniel knows who he is?!?! Queue both of them having a fanboy moment and Daniel admitting he cried when he heard heather for the first time. But Daniel has to be pulled away so he gives Max his number and invites him to the garage (much to christian's chagrin but hey, number one golden driver championship contender privileges). Max totally nerds and Daniel thinks its cute and the mechanics are surprised by Max's knowledge.

They go on "friend-dates" to get to know each other properly and surprisingly (to them not to us) they click really well. Daniel invites him to GPs and Max invites Daniel to music video sets (they sneak Daniel into an MV and if you look close enough you can see him in the background) and a lot of trips to the recording studio. The internet being the internet picks up on this and are like AIN'T NO WAY OMG WORLDS COLLIDING all dramatic like that. There's even TikTok edits and a small tumblr community (hi) about them.

Then one day Max goes on an interview and is asked about Daniel. "He's probably the best person in my life right now, outside of work and family. Gosh, I've been a fan since 2014, and my sister will tell you I yelled pretty loudly when he won in Canada that year. But the Daniel you guys see in media is only half the story. He's kind and considerate and generous and a really comfortable person to be around and I am glad I bumped into him in Spa. He's been my rock as I work on my newest album."

Hashtag maxiel starts popping off a lot more mainstream and Daniel calls Max after the interview to tell him how sweet and lovely he is and as he gushes Daniel has the 'oh I love him' moment, like actually in love and not just a how a fan would. He doesn't say it, of course, but the penny has dropped.

For Max, the 'oh I love him' would be when they're back in Daniel's hotel room post race (that Daniel won ofc) and they're sat on a sofa in front of a quiet TV playing some sort of movie when Daniel falls asleep on Max's shoulder. Max looks down at him and just knows 'i love him' then and there. It's a quiet realisation, and one he is content with.

As for how they get together, it's one of the times Daniel is in Max's recording studio listening as Max sings, completely entrapped. When Max finishes and sits down next to him, he asks what Daniel thinks Daniel doesn't hesitate to say he thinks Max is amazing and that the song will be a hit, but suggests a few tweaks to the instrumental. Max takes this seriously and appreciates the honesty, kissing Daniel's cheek as thanks. It was the way Max looked at him and gently held his face that has Daniel sitting there for a moment before going fuck it and properly kissing Max.

They don't announce their relationship until Daniel after wins his second championship in 2022 but spend the rest of 2021 and the entirety of 2022 soft launching it and teasing. Daniel posts photos of Max hugging him in Abu Dhabi 2021 and lots of photos of them hanging out in winter and summer break. The F1 media catches Max in the paddock and Red Bull garage a lot and Daniel at the Superache tour in late 2022 (what about the tour? what tour? the early 2022 world tour? yh that didnt happen I'm just adding a couple songs from there into the superache setlist). Max also posts a video of Daniel lipsyncing to Overdrive whilst holding a deodorant can and standing on a bed.

The actual announcement spooks the F1 world more than the music one and at first it's a lot for them, the questions and the prying, the demand to know it all and of course the homophobia but they get through it all fine and dandy.

Oh and Jimmy and Sassy? They give Daniel the seal of approval the moment he shows up offering pets. And that was the only outside opinion that ever mattered.

{I may flesh this into a full on fic, but I also might not but I liked your idea anyway and wanted to put the concept I created into the world! I hope you like it.}

[talonabraxas]

Advanced Kali Mantras

Note: These Mantras are very powerful and will definitely bring results. If you are a beginner it may be safer to start off with the simple mantras first because these Mantras can manifest unease.

Kali: The Power of Destruction of Negative Ego

Excerpted from Shakti Mantras: Tapping into the Great Goddess Energy Within

If you are impatient in your worldly or spiritual pursuits, Kali is for you. She is the fast track, often on a bumpy road, to problem solution and spiritual advancement. When called by mantras that carry her vibrations, Kali responds with a direct power that often leads right through some cherished part of our ego attachments. Her power tools are the Kundalini Shakti (the power of spiritual electricity); the Kriya Shakti, the power to creatively affect the universe; and Iccha Shakti, the power of will that personally compels our physical movements and actions, while in the universe it causes the galaxies to rush away from one another into cosmic night. Although she puts “effective” before “gentle,” it should also be noted that even in the midst of the sometimes turbulent effects she produces, Kali is a repository of great compassion.

General Kali Mantra for Relief from Difficult Circumstances

This mantra can be used to bring one very quickly into balance or alignment with regard to a specific situation. The results can be dramatic and even unpleasant, even if they are ultimately the most compassionate. For instance, if you are having problems with a relationship and you use this Kali mantra to invoke her help with the problem, the relationship may end abruptly, even though this is not the outcome you desired. Conversely, a marriage possibility could develop much more quickly from a relationship than you might have desired or felt ready for. Whatever the issue, Kali gets right to the point and lets your ego attachments fall where they may. She is concerned with whatever will be the most beneficial outcome for you from a karmic standpoint, period.

Um Klim Kalika-yei Namaha [Dm Kleem Kah-lee-kah-yea Nahm-ah-hahl

“Om and salutations. I attract she who is dark and powerful.”

Spiritual Evolution Mantra That Is Quick, Powerful, and Unyielding

There is also a longer form of the above mantra that relates to Kali as the destroyer of negative ego on the one hand, and the provider of a very fast route to spiritual liberation on the other. It would be difficult for you to discover this mantra, usually referred to simply and mysteriously as the Great Fifteen-Syllable Mantra. If you decide to work with this mantra, please have extra patience with yourself. Because it can work quickly, it may also cause some turmoil in your daily life.

The mantra will bring to the surface aspects of our ego that we have decided are “OK.” We all become comfortable with ourselves in certain contexts. We know who we are, make allowances for our aberrant behavior, and fool ourselves that we are trying hard and doing the best we can. But if those internal qualities are truly not beneficial to us, this mantra will begin to eradicate even those characteristics we may have decided are “OK,” and want to keep. If we are determined to hold on to parts of ourselves that are based on a deluded sense of satisfaction, particularly if our behavior is less than ideal, then Kali will come to our aid with a stainless-steel, scalpel-like precision.

When we invoke Kali through this mantra, we are saying, “I want true spiritual advancement by the most powerful and direct route, the consequences to my ego notwithstanding.” So if you pick this route, its only fair that you know what you are in for. It will be intense, possibly unnerving, probably uncomfortable, certainly disruptive to one or more aspects of your mundane life, and also very effective in a short amount of time.

Om Hrim Shreem Klim Adya Kalika Param Eshwari Swaha [Om Hreem Shreem Kleem Ahd-yah Kah-lee-kah Pah-rahm Ehsh-wah-ree Swah-hah]

“Om and salutations to She who is the first one, dark within her own reality, the supreme primordial feminine, who cuts through illusion to the unabridged truth of existence.”

Kali: Seated on a corpse, greatly terrifying, laughing loudly, with fearful fangs, four arms holding a cleaver, a skull, and giving the mudras bestowing boons and dispelling fear, wearing a garland of skulls, her tongue rolling wildly, completely naked (digambara – clad in the directions), thus one should meditate on Kali, dwelling in the centre of the cremation ground.

The Kali Mantra as given in the Mantra Mahodadhi is:

“Kreem Kreem Kreem Hum Hum Hreem Hreem Dakshine KaalikaKreem Kreem Kreem Hum Hum Hreem Hreem Swaha”

It bestows the eight supernatural powers.

The Kali Tantra gives details of the puja of Kalika:-

“Now I speak of the ritual injunction which is the all-nectar-giver of the Devi. Doing this, a person becomes like Bhairava.

“Firstly, I speak of yantra, the knowing of which conquers death. At first draw a triangle. Outside, draw another. Then draw three more triangles. “Draw a circle and then a beautiful lotus. Then draw another circle and then a bhupura with four lines and four doors. This is how the cakra should be drawn.

“Worship the guru line, the six limbs, and the dikpalas (The eight, or according to some, ten guardians of the directions, ed.). Then the mantrin should place his head at the feet of the guru.

“O dearest one, after worshipping the pedestal, set down the offering. Place the mantra in the six limbs. Then, within the heart lotus, the ultimate Kala blossoms.

“Place her in the centre of the yantra by invoking her (via the breath). After meditating on the great goddess, dedicate the ritual offerings. Bow to Mahadevi and then worship the surrounding deities.

“Worship Kali, Kapalini, Kulla, Kurukulla, Virodhini, Vipracitta in the six angles. Then Ugra, Ugraprabha, Dipta in the middle. Then Nila, Ghana and Balaka in the inner angle. Then Matra, Mudra and Mita within this triangle, and then the very dusky one holding the sword, adorned with human skulls, with her left hand showing the threatening mudra and having a pure smile.

“Worship the eight mothers Brahmi, Narayani, Maheshvari, Chamunda, Kaumari, Aparajita, Varahi and Narasimhi.

“In equal shares, give these devis animal sacrifice and worship them, smearing them with scent and offering incense and flame. After doing the puja, worship using the root mantra.

“Give food and so forth to the Devi again and again. The sadhaka should offer flame ten times. So also he should offer flower with mantra according to the rules of ritual.

“After meditating on Devi, recite the mantra 1,008 times. The fruit of reciting, which is light, place in the hands of the Devi.

“Then, placing the flower on the head, do prostration. With supreme devotion, then rub out (the yantra).”

Kali Ma by @lbustamante