#ok maybe take do it scared out of the first one and replace it with do it without apology

[curiosityschild]

LITANY AGAINST THE FEAR OF OTHERS OPINIONS

Do it scared. Do it weird. Do it alone.

LITANY AGAINST PARALYZING PERFECTIONISM

Do it bad. Do it wrong. Do it half-assed.

LITANY AGAINST ?????

A third trio??? A trio of threes would be nice but I can't think of any more

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 54

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You sit down in front of him, Jer-Joel looks confused at first but then seems to accept it as he sits down as well, you don't give him the chance to say a word though, you are going to have your turn before he does.

"Ok ok, I'll start with my first question-"

"Wait, who said you could start first?!?"

"I did! And since I outrank you-"

"Fine! Fucking...whatever"

Now! For the first question... You don't actually have anything prepared. Should have thought about that huh.

"Ok... let's see...hmmmm"

"You didn't even have anything ready????"

"Shhh! I'm thinking..." Seriously, the nerve of some people... He narrows his eyes at you but shut ups... For about three or four seconds.

"You are so weird Xelqua."

"Huh uh, tell me something I don't know... Ok, got it!"

He puts his head in his hands and groans... already exasperated? You have just gotten started.

"Just ... ask the question."

"Ok, ok, why become a hero? Where did Altostratus come from?"

His frown disappears as It's replaced by a smug smirk. It's actually a one-eighty degree change, mood swings much?

"I don't see why you are so confused really. Why would a god as handsome and strong and tall as myself not become a hero if given the chance?"

... You definitely liked him more when he was annoyed, much more entertaining.

"So It's an arrogance thing?"

And there is the annoyance, immediately back not even a minute later, you are pretty proud of yourself for that.

"It's not, I'm also exceptionally humble."

"Huh uh."

"Oh you don't get to speak mr. 'I outrank you'. "

...

You don't exactly have a valid comeback for that, he got you good. Huh... Right, better cover the blunder and change the subject least he notice his victory and mock you in turn!

"That wasn't a really good answer to my question Joel"

"Too bad, my turn, what the fuck did you do to time?"

Oh come on, does literally every god know about that?

"Decided to reverse it a bit, you know how it is."

He crosses his arms. "I don't."

"Well, one useless answer for one useless answer....Ok, ok, my time to ask the question. Why did you wait a week to speak to me?"

Joel looks away for a second and then back towards you... Uncertainty? That's... different from the others expressions you hace seen on his face today, It's extremely uncanny to look at.

"I was busy planning how to approach you, I remembered you being much... different in the past"

"Different?"

"Last time I saw you was millions of years ago, when you killed most species on earth with a meteor... I remembered you being much more threatening."

Oh? He was scared? How- wait, what does that mean? You are as threatening as you have always been! You are as strong as ever! More then ever even! It's like he's saying you have mellowed out and that's... You don't even know if he meant as a compliment or not but you got defensive.

"Hmm...my turn again"

Uh? Oh right, the questions, you got a bit distracted there.

"Yeah yeah, I'm listening, just god distracted a bit there! Oops."

"Where you the one who did the whole snail curse? On Las Nevadas."

"What? Me? ...yeah, one of my better cursed, how did you figure it out?"

"It was an hunch, plus a plague of toxic snails feels like something you would do."

Well, *this* one is definitely an insult from the way he says it but you are going to take it as a compliment instead.

"... My turn! What else have you been doing outside of being a mid hero?" You snort as the clouds go pitch black and thunder booms.

"A MID-" He exales loudly. "And for your your information I've also gotten married."

.

.

.

...Wait what? He what? That's new, you didn't know he had been seeing someone.

"Are you serious? Congrats I guess. Who's the lucky god slash goddess?"

"..." Wait, that face...

"It IS a god, right?"

"That counts as another question so you'll have to answer two of mine."

Ugh, why is he like this?.... Ok maybe you deserve it for making this so hard but still...not appreciated.

"Fine, who did you marry?"

"A mortal, she's called Lizzie...you might know her as Ocean Queen."

Ok, what is going on? He married a mortal? Why???

"But she's...mortal. You know she's going to do that one thing mortal do... you know...get old... die."

"I would prefer you didn't speak of my wife dying like that-"

"I'm just...why would you want to get attached to a mortal? That's just dumb."

"Glass is the house of they hypocrite Xelqua."

... What does that even- is that a mortal saying? Wait, you aren't an hypocrite...not right now at least.

"I'm no hypocrite Joel, I would never get attached to a mortal in such a way so..."

"Didn't you take a literal bullet for one? Revert one of the laws of the universe for him?"

"You-"

"And I'm sure that he's not the only mortal you got attached too, I saw Mother Spore at Las Nevadas last week, you were pretty protective of that villain too, Boogeyman was it?"

... It's...well, you did...but it's not the same...right? Oh no...you need to think. You get up.

"Well, that was fun! Time to go!"

"My questions-"

"Let's finish this another time! Good? Good! Bye!"

[meowshroom1230]

Y’all ever wonder why it’s called the amazing digital circus when no one in the amazing digital circus is from a circus? Well so did I… at 1 am so i’m going to do my best to make sense of my late night ramblings:

Caine- Getting the obvious out of the way he’s the ringleader. Not much more to explain here, keeps the group together, etc.

Kinger- He would be the beast master. I made a point about gloinks in my ramblings but everyone interacted with them in the pilot. My real explanation is just the entirety of episode 3. He was the only one who could calm his wife, he knew how to handle the creature that attacked him and Pomni, and he keep Pomni safe when they were walking through an area infested with demon like creatures. “tHoSe ArEn’T rEaL aNiMaLs!” HIS CONNECTION WITH BUGS THEN. He has an undeniable attachment to bugs and while he might not be taming them I’m sure he could if he wanted to

Gangle- She’s the tightrope walker. She is constantly teetering between being too much and not enough often putting herself at risk often. Depending how you saw the truck scene (either a as a rep for su!c!dal thoughts or just a funny truck-kun reference, goose said those scene was up for interpretation), she could also be teetering the line between life and abstraction. Gangle is in some kind of danger and it is up to her to save herself, until she makes it to the other side.

Ragatha- Now this one you gotta hear me out on, but she is the bearded woman. LISTEN, some interpretations of a beard that aren’t just facial hair are linked to covering up something. A beard in the US can be someone who completes a transaction to cover someone else’s identity. A beard can also be a person who pretends to be in a romantic relationship with a person who they are not attracted to to cover for their sexuality. Using these terms of ‘beard’ as an example I concluded that Ragatha’s ‘beard’ is a cover up for her true feelings. Something’s off about her, and we got glimpses of that in episode 4. She’s not as happy and friendly as she’s made out to be. Now I don’t think it’s something dramatic like she’s evil or a villain, but she’s hiding something and she’s ashamed of it. Bearded women in history were often very ashamed of their beards and some thought the circus was their only way of having some value. Maybe Ragatha finds value in making people happy? Maybe that’s what her ai was programmed to do… but that’s a theory for another time :)

Pomni- Ok after a long one I felt another easy one was in place. Pomni is the clown. Jesters and clowns are often grouped together… but it’s also in how she’s treated. She’s often the butt of physical comedy jokes, she often finds herself in pain because of the circumstances surrounding her. I don’t think she’s trying to be funny but because of the situation she’s in she’s forced to be the clown of the circus. She also keeps everyone ‘entertained’. She’s prevented at least one, if not 2 people from abstracting. I believe that her presence does more than she realizes. Also when first joining the circus i guess who she replaced…

Jax- Now here’s where my ideas are mostly based on vibes and headcanons, so i understand if these are taking more with a grain of salt. Jax is the contortionist. A contortionist isn’t someone you’d think would be in a circus at first glance, i mean they’re just a regular person right? Nothing special about them- JESUS CHRIST WHY ARE YOU BENT LIKE THAT. Now Jax isn’t bending his body into weird shapes… but i think his emotions are. There’s something beneath Jax’s surface of annoying attitude. We see hints of emotion break in only spans of seconds. I can count on one hand the number of seconds we’ve seen a genuine emotion from Jax. I think he’s forcing himself to bend to what others think he should be. People think he’s an asshole? Well then he has to be that way 24/7 or else… something. That’s the only part I haven’t figured out yet. Is he scared of rejection? of vulnerability? caring about someone? That’s the only thing I can’t figure out about him. So just in case I’m wrong about this Im giving him a secondary option… the acrobat. He’s still preforming but he isn’t hiding some tbh in him this version. He’s doing this for himself because either way he gets the attention that he wants. The acrobat is more focused on gaining and keeping attention then hiding anything about himself.

Zooble- Another loose one… I’m pretty sure we’ve had no more than 20 lines from them an episode. Zooble is the oracle. They seem to know so much about the circus despite not going on many adventures. They stay in one place more often than not. They tell you the truth whether or not you like it. They’ve been around for a while and will probably be there for a long time. I don’t know how Zooble knows what they know but they’re quite sure about it. They also stay strong to the ideas that they’ve figured out and refuse to change their mind. Caine is an excellent example, they seem assume things about Caine that most of the members wouldn’t even think of, yet Zooble is very certain in themselves. But because this one is also loose I’m also giving them a secondary, as the contortionist. If it isn’t Jax then it’s definitely Zooble… but for different reasons. Zooble clearly has issues with how they look and often want to change themselves, contorting in every way possible to just find something that’s comfortable. Contortionists suffer pain later in life due to their abilities, forcing them to keep moving their bodies in odd positions just to be comfortable. Zooble could be the same way but in a much more literal sense, forcing to have to try more parts just to find something that works for them.

Here’s the ramblings of anyone else wants to make sense of them lol

[pepi1989]

Hi! Me again thank you for your kind words! I’m very scared when I think my English is bad. I loved the laver cup story, would it be possible to write a second part?? If it’s too much, it’s ok! Thank you for writing!

Hiii, don’t even worry about it! English isn't my first language either, but here I am trying my best to write for you guys. You're doing amazing!!

While I was writing the story, I was like, this needs a second part, Thanks for requesting it, love!

Rivals, or something like that P.2 - Ben Shelton

The buzz of the press conference still lingers as I make my way back to the locker room, trying to shake off the heat from all the questions about Ben. It feels like the entire world saw right through us today, like something shifted between us, and now everyone else knows it too. I keep my head down, focused on making a quick exit, but of course, I run straight into the one person I’m trying to avoid.

“Hey,” Ben’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I stop in my tracks. He’s leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, that signature grin plastered on his face. “Running away from me?”

I roll my eyes, though my heart’s racing a little faster. “Just trying to avoid another press ambush. You?”

“Looking for you,” he admits, his tone a little softer than I expected. He steps closer, his eyes searching mine like he’s finally dropping the teasing. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, just… tired,” I say, trying to sound casual, but there’s no hiding the way my pulse quickens. He’s close now, too close, and for once, neither of us is making a joke about it.

Ben’s eyes linger on mine before he glances around the empty hallway. “Want to get out of here? Just us?”

I hesitate, but the warmth in his gaze melts any resistance I might’ve had. I nod, my voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, okay.”

He grins, but it’s softer this time, more real. “Let’s go.”

We slip out a side door, avoiding the chaos of the media, and end up walking through a quiet garden near the hotel. The night air is cool, and for a moment, we walk in silence, the tension from earlier still hanging between us. My heart’s racing, not from nerves, but because I can feel it, something’s about to change.

“You know,” Ben starts, breaking the silence, “Frances wasn’t entirely wrong back there.” His voice is casual, but there’s a new edge to it, something serious underneath.

I glance at him, trying to play it off. “About what? You being annoying?”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “About us. About… this.” He stops walking, turning to face me fully. His eyes lock onto mine, and suddenly, I feel like I can’t breathe.

“What are you talking about, Ben?” I ask, though my voice comes out shakier than I intended.

Ben steps closer, his hands sliding into his pockets, like he’s trying to keep it cool but is just as nervous. “C’mon, [Y/N]. You feel it too, right? This… whatever’s been going on between us.”

The teasing tone is completely gone now, replaced by something deeper, something real. I bite my lip, my heart hammering in my chest. “I, yeah,” I admit quietly, the words tumbling out before I can stop them.

His smile grows, more genuine than I’ve ever seen. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Excuse me?” I raise an eyebrow, trying to cover up the way my pulse is racing.

Ben shakes his head, laughing softly. “You act like I’m the only one throwing comments and making this weird. But you, you’re just as bad.”

I’m about to protest when I realize he’s right. The playful banter, the lingering glances, it wasn’t just him. I’ve been part of this, too, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

“Okay, maybe I haven’t exactly been subtle,” I confess, my face heating up as I stare down at the ground, suddenly unable to meet his gaze.

Ben takes a step closer, closing the distance between us, his voice softer now. “I don’t mind. In fact, I like it.”

I glance up, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. His eyes are locked on mine, and there’s no mistaking the way he’s looking at me now, like he’s been waiting for this moment just as long as I have.

“You like it?” I repeat, trying to process the sudden shift between us.

He nods, his hand brushing against mine, sending a jolt of warmth through me. “Yeah. I do.”

For a second, I can’t find the words. My heart’s racing, my mind spinning with everything that’s happening. This is Ben, my friend, my rival for the weekend, the guy who’s been teasing me all day. But now, he’s looking at me like I’m the only person in the world, and I can’t ignore the way my stomach flips in response.

“Ben,” I start, my voice barely a whisper, “what are we doing?”

He smiles, a little crooked but full of that familiar charm. “I don’t know. But I know I don’t want to just be friends anymore.”

My breath catches in my throat. “You don’t?”

Ben shakes his head, his fingers finally wrapping around mine, pulling me closer. “No. Not when I’ve been thinking about you non-stop. Not when every time you’re around, I can’t focus on anything else.”

His words hang in the air between us, and for a moment, everything feels still, like the world has paused, waiting for me to respond.

I take a deep breath, my heart racing as I look up at him. “I’ve been thinking about you too.”

The grin that spreads across his face is nothing short of breathtaking. Without a word, he lifts my hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles, and I swear, my knees almost give out right then and there.

“So… what now?” I ask, my voice shaky but full of hope.

Ben doesn’t let go of my hand, his eyes twinkling with that familiar mischief. “Well, now I get to take you out properly. No more tennis, no more teasing, just you and me.”

I laugh softly, shaking my head. “That sounds dangerously close to a date.”

Ben grins, pulling me closer until there’s barely any space between us. “That’s because it is. What do you say, [Y/N]? Wanna give this a shot?”

I smile, my heart swelling with everything I’ve been holding back for so long. “Yeah, Ben. I do.”

He leans in, his forehead resting gently against mine. “Good. Because I’ve been waiting for this forever.”

Before I can say anything else, he closes the distance, pressing his lips softly against mine. The kiss is slow, gentle, and everything I didn’t know I’d been waiting for. It’s like the teasing, the tension, all of it has been leading to this moment.

When we finally pull back, both of us a little breathless, Ben smiles, his thumb brushing softly against my cheek. “I told you,” he murmurs, his voice low, “I’m not just playing games anymore.”

And for the first time all day, I believe him.

[charkie-ee]

team bolas rojas gas masks designs??

in THIS day and age?????

it may be more likely than you think..

this was my first time drawing a series of different gas masks, no idea if they’re accurate at all, but it was really fun!!

**notes & closeups under the cut :-D**

it’s a lot of notes so be prepared for an info dump.

NOTES:

Philza: honestly, what more is there to say than “CROW MAN!!”? aside from his goggles being glow-in-the-dark, theres not much more to the mask design. however, i decided, “hey! this is purgatory! i can fuck up these characters!” so, he has a ripped ear(?)wing and messily cut back hair. (i didn’t pay too much attention to the hair in this design, i was mainly trying to get the gas masks down, but maybe i’ll go further into later.)

Cellbit: this is definitely one of my favorites, he looks pretty scary, i would NOT stop my car if i saw him on the side of the road. its based off of a cat mask(obviously) and a painted white streak goes through his mask, inspired by his hair. i didn’t include it, but circles in the goggles are supposed to retract with different emotions (kind of how cat’s eyes do, saucer and dagger pupils.) he’s also covered in blood because he’s going through it lore wise.

Slimecicle: ngl, it was my first time drawing code charlie(other than all the wips i have that i’ll never finish),but i think he’s pretty spooky. his mask is the worst quality, like it USED to work well until he wore it out. thus, there are broken air tubes that let the gas in. (he should probably get those replaced.) the holes for his horns are kind of like an airlock, so the gas can’t enter through them (phil helped him make it.) however, it makes it difficult to take off.

Baghera: baghera’s mask is kind of built like charlie’s, except in much better quality. aside from the loose air tubes, the mask almost goes all the way around her head, not letting even the slightest bit of gas in. theres also a plastic duck beak on top of the regular breathy-thing(i have no idea what i’m doing, so, no, i don’t know the technical term for that) to give it the “bird touch.”

Jaiden: jaiden’s mask was FUN. like i kinda went overboard. i did these all on different days, and this was the night after the big egg battle day. i saw she had fnaf bonnie ears along with her bird gas mask, and said “ok cool. i’ll add that.” she has the same feather/beak thing i gave to baghera. also, hair-wise, she gets a hair bun and her brown roots showing through(we love messy haired cubitos ^^)

Foolish: foolish was interesting, not sure i like the final product, but i’m tired, so it’ll do. his mask is based off of a lemon shark. he gas glowing green eyes and golden splotches on the leather. the air tube foolish has is REALLY long. like unnaturally long. so he wraps it around his neck to get it out of the way. the other members are extremely concerned it’ll choke him one day, but foolish thinks it’s cool and will scare other teams away. kind of like a “yea, i’m crazy, i could choke and die at any minute, and i don’t care.” phil, being the protective father figure of the group, does not like this at all.

Carre: and finally, we have carre. ah, sweet, sweet carre.(he is my favorite.) his mask is based off of a snow leopard because i hc he’s half feline. carre has the lightest, and most simple mask, since it’s entirely plastic, and more so based off of skiing or snowboarding goggles.

ANYWAY, i hope these notes make sense, excuse my rambling about silly designs, i tend to doodle messily, and not really have a plan when i draw, lol.

thanks for reading, BYE!

[lit3rally-m1ke-whlr]

Byler analysis (from a song perspective)

ok so I was reading @miwiheroes beautiful fic on ao3 and when Mike told Will he thought he was in love with him and will didn’t believe it the song “I Think I’m in Love” just randomly popped into my head, so I looked up the lyrics and omg I think it UNIRONICALLY is THE byler song??? Like it just fits them so well😭

I mean just look at the lyrics (posting on mobile so bear with me here):

will: highlighted in yellow

Mike: highlighted in blue

either or/ both: green

this may be a longer post so I’m going to add the “keep reading” so it doesn’t take up too much space!

literally sounds like Vecna trying to attack Hawkins by taunting and killing his victims, and Will noticing his presence (particularly reminds me of the movie theater double-date scene where Mike asks if he’s okay and he just says he’s fine)

couldn’t find a gif so here’s an image I found online

Feel like these could apply to both, will is ignoring the signs of Mike liking him back because he thinks mikes straight and it’s impossible for him to return his feelings, and he’s “bluffing” by lying about the painting, saying it’s from el. I think we can all agree Mike is aware of his lie but maybe just doesn’t know why he’s lying. And as for Mike, well, he doesn’t want to admit to his own feelings for Will so he throws himself into a relationship with El and projects his desires onto Will (“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls” or “we’re friends! We’re friends!”), but the little things he do can sometimes be confusing because friends don’t act like Mike does to will, they don’t stare at their lips like they want to kiss them 😭

And the hugging, well.

I think I’m in love (again). Speaks for itself no? now the “(in my head, yeah, you’re in my head)” is interesting, because it could be one of two things: a) obviously, they’re thinking a lot of each other because that’s what you do when you love someone, but it could also be interpreted as b) Mike/will potentially being vecna’d in s5 and seeing a false vision of will/mike as a way to torture them about their sexuality? “I didn’t think that it could be true, let alone that it would be you” also I feel applies to both; will didn’t think he was capable of falling in love with someone who would ever be able to reciprocate, let alone Mike, and Mike didn’t think he could ever be gay and fall in love with his best friend, especially since he’s supposed to have those feelings for El, his girlfriend.

this mostly applies to will, with his being possessed in season 2 (and potentially in season 5, and how vecna might use Mike as a way to get to him) and how shocked and hurt he felt by Mike saying “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” because he’d never seen Mike get mad at him like that before, and was scared he knew he was gay.

but it can also be used for Mike if he does end up getting Vecna’d in s5, and also him starting to realize his feelings for Will and being scared by that fact. Kind of reminds me of this scene in season 2:

(Ignore how there’s no sound and it’s a shitty recording of my iPad 💀) and this being his reaction afterwards

(GIF creds to @davinaclaires).

I think this may be when he first realized he liked Will as more than a friend, and you can see how confused and dazed he looks. Besides, I imagine if either of them ends up confessing, the other might have a hard time believing it at first and question if it’s real.

must I even explain this one? There is no single lyric in the history of songs that describes Will better.

I’m just going to let the gifs speak for themselves.

-W: “what if he spies back?”

-M: “he won’t.”

-W: “how do you know?” -M: “we won’t let him.”

and then Mike finding will after he has a true-sight episode and bringing him back to reality:

Though if Will or Mike get Vecna’d in s5 and the other helps them snap out of it, that could be a good interpretation of these lyrics as well.

Okay, this one is mostly a joke but just try replacing “Dutch” and “Dutchess” with “Paladin” and “Cleric” and you basically have Byler. As for “And we ain’t got a label/ we’re just rolling with the punches” it describes how Mike and Will are constantly toeing the line between how just friends act and being more than friends, even if they won’t admit it to themselves yet. And I just thought the last part is sooo Byler’s dynamic, like I can totally see them flirting/ bantering like that when they finally get together, kind of gives me “I didn’t say it.” “You didn’t have to.” vibes. Also, I’m sure we already know that there’s nobody else Will would ever fall in love with; he only wants to be with Mike for the rest of his life.

But the crazy part is, a lot of these lyrics can also apply to Lumax as well, specifically from Max’s perspective!? Like, take this verse for example, showcasing how she acts like she’s okay and pushes Lucas away for most of s4.

and especially this one?

(ignore my sloppy handwriting I’m using my finger 😭)

anyways, byler/ lumax endgame iktr 🤪✌️

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 4

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: Here's the first of the completely new chapters. I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I wake up to the deliberately annoying sound of my alarm blaring from my bedside. I look out at the still-dark skyline outside and slide off the alarm before checking my notifications. A smile instantly replaces my sleepy scowl as I read the messages that filtered in overnight.

I know it’s late, but I’m wired from sleeping on the flight… even though it was only three hours. I know I should be better at this flying thing with how much I travel for work but I guess I never learn Also…I could get used to you colliding with me 😉 God that was too cheesy, I’m sorry, forget I said anything, I blame the jetlag! I need to stop before I permanently scare you away if it’s not already too late. Good night

I smile at his dorkiness before dragging myself out of bed. As much as I’d love nothing more than to message him back now and text all day, my shift starts in an hour and I need to get ready first. I force myself through the motions of showering, donning my uniform, eating a light breakfast, and brushing my hair and teeth before slipping out the door. The sun is just beginning to rise overhead as I stroll through the quiet streets. As much as I’m not a morning person, I do enjoy this little slice of quiet before the rush of the day.

Once I get to the cafe, I greet the baker who is finalising the baked goods for the day. I help him stock the fridges, leaving the tray of burnt muffins on the bench in the kitchen as per his instructions and then open the store.

With the Christmas rush still in full swing, the morning passes quickly but leaves me exhausted. Once I finally get a break I take one of the slightly burned and therefore, unsaleable candy cane muffins and a bottle of water and sit at a small table out the back of the cafe. I pull out my cracked phone and finally allow myself to reply.

I sell festive drinks & snacks to people who haven’t yet had their morning coffee - It’s gonna take more than a jet lag-induced comment to scare me away Watching you behead someone on TV though, that was rough You sure I can trust you? I promise I’d never hurt you, that is unless I catch you draining someone of their blood Wait! Are you working? I didn’t mean to disturb you Not at the moment I can chat for a bit So, you promise you won’t drink anyone? I get queasy when someone cuts their finger, so no chance My show’s probably not for you then The eye candy’s worth it But I also live alone, so horror is generally a no-go That’s ok. As I said, it’s more interesting to me that you’re not a fan There are no expectations to live up to But eye candy, eh? I don’t know about Dean but there was the vamp was pretty sexy Till he lost his head anyway Oh…🥺 Nah, Dean’s alright too… Though I do think he’s the most scary. I don’t think he would take kindly to wearing a cup of hot chocolate Probably not But he’d find you charming He’d probably use it as an excuse to try and get your number He’d have more confidence than shyly writing his number on a coaster and hoping the pretty girl makes the next move You think I’m pretty? You don’t need to try and flatter me You’ve only seen me when I’m exhausted and covered in rotting milk If you’d seen me on a day when I’d actually put in some effort then maybe I’d believe you Then maybe one day I’ll have to give you a reason to dress up for me Take you on a real date You plan on coming back to New York? It’s not in my schedule yet But maybe in the new year Unless I can tempt you to come to Texas? I live in a single-bedroom apartment in downtown New York And I work in a cafe I can’t afford airfares and hotel accommodations in Texas at Christmas! How about if it was all-expenses-paid? Jensen…

Just as I’m typing a reply my colleague bursts through the backdoor. I check the time and realise it’s been over ten minutes since I came outside. I quickly type out a halfhearted excuse and shut off my phone before scurrying back inside.

Sorry, my break’s over. I gotta get back to work. Talk later

Despite going through the motions; making coffees, heating muffins, and delivering orders, my mind continues to wander back to Jensen’s offer and my lack of response. We barely know each other, how could I let him pay for a holiday in Texas? While a holiday sounds like heaven after working my ass off all year, I refuse to let it be at someone else’s expense, even if that person is a successful and wealthy actor. I refuse to be seen as a gold digger, even in my own eyes. Also, I can’t stand the thought of him finding out my true passion and then accusing me of using him to get a leg up in the industry. By the end of my shift, I decide to come clean about everything.

Back in my apartment, I shower again and change into comfy clothes before collapsing on the couch. I switch on the TV, not caring what’s on, just looking for a little comforting background noise. The random Doctor Phill reruns don’t take long to lull me to sleep.

The continual vibrating of my phone on the coffee table drags me back to the land of the living. I rub my eyes to wake myself up and check who’s blowing up my phone.

I’m sorry if I came on too strong I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable You’re right, we barely know each other I promise I’m gonna stop making stupid comments and just give you space I’m sorry again

I mull over the messages for a few minutes and type and delete multiple replies before mustering up all the courage I can and giving in and pressing the call button instead. I listen to the dial tone for a few rings before he finally picks up. Wanting to smooth things over before he jumps in all apologetically I rush to speak first as soon as the call connects.

“Look, I know we’re texting people, not calling people. But this conversation needed to be had like this.”

“Are you telling me to lose your number? Because I will if that’s what you want.”

“No. I just think we’ve been living in some fantasy, and maybe you’re used to that since you’re an actor. But here in New York, no matter how badly I want to be a performer, I have to live in the real world. Any handouts I take, and any relationships I make will be used against me.”

“A holiday is not a handout. But wait, you want to be a performer?”

“During the year, I took acting and singing classes. I also auditioned for roles on Broadway. But obviously, I didn’t get any of the roles. But I swear, I didn’t recognise you when we met the other day. And I don’t intend to use you to get a role. I’m not a gold digger. I want to do this myself,” I ramble, hoping he believes me.

“Hey, I’m not accusing you of anything. I believe you. I’ve met people who are just trying to use me, I know the signs. So unless you’re a much better actress than I’m giving you credit for..?”

“None of this has been acting. I promise.”

“I believe you.” I hear knocking and someone calling out from the other end of the line. “I’m so sorry. They’re ready for me. I've got to go do soundcheck. Can I call you back later?”

“Soundcheck? Yeah, yeah. That’s fine. Bye, Jensen.”

“I’ll call you and explain later…or maybe tomorrow…I promise I’ll call you!”

The line falls silent and I sigh. I drag myself off the couch to make a sandwich. Just as I sit down to eat it my phone starts buzzing again. I glance at the caller ID and answer it with a smile.

“Hey, Stella!” I greet my best friend happily.

“Hey, Bestie! We still on for tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“You promised you’d help me with my wedding! I’m getting married in three weeks and there’s still so much to do!”

“Oh yeah! Of course! I can be there in say 30?”

“You’re the best, Bestie!”

“I know! See you soon!”

I hang up and finish eating my sandwich, clean up, throw on some warmer clothes and head out to catch the subway.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27

[vahsaw]

in high school, when I was bullied and did not have any friends, is when my love addiction started. I was chasing this “love”, I just needed to find this one person to share my life with, and that would fix everything. I was extremely codependent romantically, and had a deeply anxious attachment to people.

when it came to friendships, I was the opposite. I started to really see friendships as replaceable. so I became ok with not having friends. I didn’t feel like I needed friends. if I had a partner, that was going to be more than enough.

it took me years to realise what I was struggling with, to know how to work on it and heal myself. I had to unlearn, and completely re-build my idea of what love is. I had to learn what a healthy relationship means, what it looks like, as I was clueless.

through working on that, I started to become very independent on every level. as I became fully comfortable with being alone, I started doing everything by myself. going to the movies, go out for dinner, going to concerts, going out partying, moving countries. which honestly is something I very happy about, in a way. not having to rely on anyone feels good, it makes me feel strong.

however, through the years I started looking at friendships differently. in a sense, friendship became more important. I started to really value long-time friends. people that have been in my life for a long time, that are consistently there. friendships that take no effort to maintain. bonds that are so strong, that I am struggling to see myself develop with new people.

I started to realise though, how hard it is for me to be vulnerable. to ask friends to do anything, to pour into friendships, to let my guard down. if I plan everything myself, if I don’t depend on anyone, I don’t get my feelings hurt.

somehow, whenever I decided to take a chance, I was shown why I’ve been this independent in the first place. maybe it’s self-fulfilling prophecy.

romantically, I don’t really attach to people like that anymore. my expectations are low. I don’t really look at the future of relationships anymore. I’m good with how it is now. again, it is good to be independent, but sometimes I miss my romantic side. as a codependent, life was more intense, emotions and feelings were more intense. I felt more. I started looking at relationships the way I hated other people did. from a practical side of things, with reason.

sometimes the romantic deep inside me shows his head, like today. I asked the guy I’m dating, the guy I feel closer to every day, to go on a trip with me. this is not an evidence. he seemed unsure. he wanted to try a weekend first. he doesn’t want to leave the country together.

in a state of fatigue and sensitivity, I took it personally. it all came to me at once. he responded the same way my best friends did. maybe people don’t want to do these things with me.

tension started to fill my body. I instantly felt fatigued. “maybe I should go alone. my best friends said the same thing. it’s as if I made a threat.” not another word was said. reasonably, I know it’s not about me, but I was triggered. I ended up packing my bag, saying I’m not feeling too well, and that I should go home. he did not say anything, he just let me leave. I wanted him to say something. in my head it confirmed my thought that he didn’t care.

I left on the verge of tears. I want him to text me, but he does not.

truth of the matter is, solitude is starting to scare me. there is a part of me that does not want to remain this loner. I wonder about my future. there’s films I’ve watched about lonely older people. it resonates with me, but in a way I wish it doesn’t. I’m about to move countries again this year. I’m moving to the other side of the world. I’m a 30 year old man. making connections does not get any easier. I worry without the few close friends I have, I will be fully alone. I will have no one to turn to.

I realise how nice it is to share things in life, how it adds, but it is hard to make the change, to allow people in.

[i-like-turkey]

I saw your Bluesky account was no longer active. I had also noticed you hadn’t posted since thanksgiving. I hope you’re ok and Pupperoni is also doing ok. Holidays can be brutal. Please know you are valued. And you are important.

Thanks for checking in on me!

Short answer: My pup is doing great. I’m not. But I’m alive and fully intend to stay that way.

Long answer: 2024 is officially in the running for the worst year of my life. It started with two massive losses in February and then another one in early May. I dealt with my dog grief by going out and getting a puppy. She is the only reason I got through those early days cause instead of not sleeping cause I’m bawling my eyes out, I was not sleeping cause I was getting up multiple times to take her potty. And then during the day I was too busy chasing her around to feel much of anything.

But then May hit and her behavior started changing. Instead of my biggest worries being a noise complaint cause she’d bark herself to sleep in her crate, it was can I get her out of my apartment without her biting my arms down to the bone and ripping my clothes to shreds and accidentally strangling me with the strap to her treat bag?

So this last summer was fucking hell. I tweeted a bit about it, but y’all don’t know half the story. Imagine being ten minutes from your car and your dog is so scared that she’s lost her fucking mind and the only thing she can do at that moment is attack YOU. She doesn’t care about sticks or treats or sniffing grass or anything else. All she wants is to bite YOU. And now you've gotta figure out how to get her back to your car without losing a finger or having someone call animal services on you.

I was bleeding daily and sleeping maybe 3-4 hours a night even though my pup was finally sleeping through the night cause I was stressed and cause was on a mission for answers. I was constantly Googling dog training and behavior and getting tips and seeing horror stories about dogs that had to get put down because they were acting like my pup. And that thought was killing me cause I couldn’t fathom losing another dog so soon after I said goodbye to my first baby.

So I wasn’t myself this summer. I was quick to anger and couldn’t think rationally and more stressed out than I’d ever been at any point in my life, law school included. Those days are now just a blur of horribleness and I’m glad that we got my pup’s medication figured out and that we're through them.

But getting through them has brought clarity and time and the mental state to actually deal with my grief and process all of the other things that I’ve lost throughout the year. I used the analogy for grief last chapter of a semi-truck of elephants strapped to Kate’s back. That’s appropriate for me here especially in December, but Kate’s swiss cheese analogy actually fits my situation better. I’m full of holes. I’ve lost big, massive chunks of my life and they aren’t coming back and there's no replacement for them. I’m empty and I’m lonely and I need to get my shit together because I can’t keep going on like this.

And that means I need to leave fandom. I’ve tried to put on a brave face and pretend that everything is ok, but I can’t do that anymore. Opening social media is just a reminder of the past and what’s gone and what’s not coming back and how sad and lonely I am. So it’s time to go. I deactivated bluesky. I haven’t opened IG in ages. Idk what I’m gonna do about it yet. I’ll figure it out. I might delete or I just might let it be a zombie account. My twitter accounts can live on as zombies. I will keep tumblr because it predated my participation in the Kacy fandom, but I don’t think I will be around much. I need to focus my scant free hours on cultivating real life connections.

[talbot-larry]

Rant about Wolfman 2025 and the Whannellification of monsters

Ok so I've been doing some critical thinking about Wolfman 2025, and comparing it to Invisible Man 2020, if that can help predict what's in store for Wolfman fans. Honestly I can't remember which I saw first, 1931 or 2020 Invisible Man, while I haven't delved into reviews of 2020 by universal monster fans (scared it would be a wank about feminism in movies) I'm seeing how it was hardly an adaption of the original movie, they kept the name Griffin but that was it? So, I wasn't the devoted universal monster fan I was then as I am now, and thought the 2020 movie was brilliant. I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will view Wolfman 2025 the way I did Invisible Man 2020, because hey, Invisible Man had its moments and maybe Wolfman will too? It's ok to be inspired by the monster movies, but taking what makes them great (monsters) out of them and replacing them with more vaguely reality grounded/sci fi/frankly boring alternatives is well, boring. It may be a 'fresh new take' but is it enjoyable?

That's not to say the originals are perfect, inspiring, compelling master pieces, but I've watched the 2 og films mentioned a lot more than Invisible Man 2020 (might be because I lost the dvd tho) It's not as though the originals weren't trying to 'say something' about society, they just weren't so ham-fisted about it. Wolfman 2025 was written during quarantine, which influenced it to be a covid-esque film (trapped in a house, degenerative disease, losing loved one to said disease) which sure. Fine. As implied by Whannell, with how its influenced by 80s horror, particularly body horror there's probably a healthy dose of Cronenburg's The Fly and Carpenters The Thing in there. All of which there's nothing wrong with, I LOVE body horror and I love those 2 movies. But why make this mishmash combination a Wolfman movie? Why not a separate werewolf movie? 2010's Wolfman adaption, while flawed, was still a wolfman movie. I will say lycanthropy as a degenerative disease is a dope idea! I've been working on a story that follows a similar theme for a couple years now.

As for what I think we can expect, or rather not expect, I've been telling myself the following since the featurette. I am not going to expect a Wolfman remake. I am not going to expect even a good werewolf movie. What am I going to expect? From what Mr Whannell is promising, another 80s horror homage. A virus film. A film trying to 'say something'. I was watching a youtuber (nerdsquish) talk about the film and she said after the trailer and creature design reveal she's considering passing and waiting until streaming, unless there are rave reviews for it (tho I expect there will be from normies non-monster fans) and tbh I'm feeling the same way. I'll probably grab the first boot I find. I'll probably keep up with trailers and clips, hoping it will redeem itself and bitch about discuss it here. Which sucks cuz yall know I was looking forward to wearing that Wolfman shirt to opening night, but why give this movie money if its so...blah?

Closing remark, kinda last word here, Whannell's monster movies kind of bring that 'elevated horror' quote to mind, it goes something like 'Elevated Horror movies are for people who hate horror movies' (? I think?). Whannell's movie are for people who wouldn't be caught dead watching a movie with a rubber bat, a man covered in yak hair, Claude Rains in bandages. they're idea refitted into 'watchable' media, not 'remakes' but soulless 'fresh takes'. I'm PRAYING this doesn't become a trend.

As for my doubts, I hope Whannell can prove me wrong.

Rant over

[juneaulime]

Zombie!König x FEM!Reader

Pairing: Zombie!König x FEM!Reader

Tags: Primal König, Choking, Biting, Blood, Rough Sex, Not Beta Read.

Notes: Little German like Schatz and stuff, but nothing much, I'm not going to Google translate and get badly translated phrase. I'll spare the cringe for the Germans reader. Anyway, enjoy, I tried my best.

P.S. I still don't know how male anatomy work, lmao.

König turned into a zombie. Y/n found out and decided to hide it from the other members of KorTac. But, she couldn't hide him forever, so she told them. She told them everything and to trust her. Since then, König's been under her care. He began speaking again, though in a very broken English, he also started eating "normal" food, like snacks and processed meat, he still struggled with vegetable and cooked meat. But, he was good enough to be left alone for long times. So, y/n left for a mission that lasted 4 month. She thought it would be no big deal.

She came home, unusually dark and cold. She smelled König's scent, the scent of rotten meat mixed with soap. Weird combination but tollerable. She took off her gear and shoes, putting her backpack on the sofa. "König?" She calls out, then she hears big stomps, like he's dashing here. She chuckles and then turn around to face König, something about him looked primal. His eyes were blown wide and his breath was erratic. "Me... You... Sex" what? She looks at König confused "What- König, what do you mean by-" before she could finish her phrase König takes her wrist and pins her down on to the sofa, restricting her with his massive body, and a very noticeable bulge in his pants.

"Schatz... Sex... Now!" His to e was different from the first time, this time he sounded... Primal, and... Commanding. She puts a hand on his chest as a way to symbolize that she was not up to it. "König, listen. We can't... You'll break me." Her voice trembled when she said "break me", but as soon those words left her mouth something snapped in König, his grip tightened on her wrist and he was drooling now and growling. "Y/n... Please... Sex?" He said now begging and rubbing his erection on her stomach, she swallows her spit and gives up. She caresses his masked face "Okay... Fine. You win. Try to be nice, ok?" He nods excitedly. He takes off her shirt and pants, struggles with her bra which she helps him out with it.

There she was, laid bare and naked in front of König. He takes off his mask and tries to kiss her, but due to the lack of his lips he struggles a bit, but she understood and guides his mouth open and intertwine their tongues. He felt cold, compared to her she was warm, he could still feel it a bit on his fingertips. He traces her spine and trails down to her neck and collarbone, leaving small kisses and licks. He stops and looks at her with pleading eyes, she nods and he opens his mouth and bites her neck. She lets out a pained moan, which scares König for a minute, he looks back up, and she just nods again. He holds her hand, and rips his pants off of him, he lines up against her wet pussy. He looks up one last time and she nods again, maybe for the last time.

He takes a deep breath and pushes himself inside of her, immediately a wave of heat against his dick and the wetness, he let's out a satisfied groan. The caresses her face and starts moving with a steady pace. Little by little he gets faster and faster then he hits her cervix. She let's out a loud moan and her eyes rolling back into her skull. Her mouth hanged open and she breath was short and erratic. She looks up and sees that König was now lost, his reason was now gone, replaced by his primal instinct of sex. He let's go of her hand and puts it around her neck choking her lightly and starts fucking into her. He kept moving his hips and groaning and she kept moaning and pleading uselessly to König to slow down, but he won't listen. His grip tightens on her neck choking her completely, she cries out and squirts all over him. He let's out a satisfied laughter, and let's go of her neck and pulls her up against him. He holds her and kisses his neck and bites her, she yelps. With that he starts moving again, this time he felt even deeper inside of her, their moans and groans could've been heard all over the house. After God knows how long she feels König emptying inside of her, he pulls out and immediately positions y/n's face against his still hard member now covered in his and her cum. She doesn't think twice and give it a lick and takes it into her hand giving him a couple of pumps, she kisses his base and balls and goes up to the head swallowing whole. He groans and cums in her mouth pushing her even deeper onto his dick.

After he was done she lays there her mind fucked out of her and he looks at her, both ends filled with him.

He picks her up in bridal style and takes their clothes to the laundry.

He tosses their clothes in the washer and opens the door to the bath. He turns on the hot water and adds some bath salt.

He carefully washes her and after soaping her up and washing her up, he gets into the bath with her in his arms. She slowly blinks her eyes open and looks at him, they make eye contact and smile. She lays her head back on to his shoulder, falling asleep once again.

The End.

End note: Aahdhdbdbdhd hope y'all liked it!!! I tried my best!! Byee

[wulfums]

5G family thoughts

Gnarly had genuinely horrible parents growing uo. He left at 16 and hasnt spoken to the since. So when Griddle happens (unplanned completely) he decided pretty fast that being a great dad is his new goal.

Since theres 3 of em in the throuple, theyre financially stable enough for Gnarly to quit his job that he hates and be a stay at home dad. I think he Loves it. He loves hanging out with his kids. He has some trouble connecting with Griddle since hes more introverted, but something they love doing together is watching youtube and doing their own ‘rifftrax’ on it once Griddle can talk. Gnarly is sooo encouraging and will laugh at every joke Griddle makes which helps Griddles confidence a lot. So its just something that they do together, even once Griddles an adult.

When Gnasty happens, it becomes obvious shes way more extroverted than Griddle. And she also ends up with Gnarly as her fav dad.

I think Griddle gets really upset when Gnasty first hatches because he feels like hes being ignored and replaced. Gnarly doesnt notice for a while because you know, babys need a lot of attention and Griddle spends a lot of time on his own anyways. But it isnt Just Gnarly paying attention to the new baby, its all three of Griddles dads.

Griddle just refuses to say anything, but Gristle walks in on Griddle crying in his room and is like :( Griddle…come to the living room. Tell us whats wrong.

So Griddle tells them he thinks theyre replacing him with his sister, and that they like her more and that no one ever plays with him anymore :( His dads explain that babys cant do anything for themselves and thats why, but they realize they maybe havrnt been spending enough time with Griddle and should have been checking on him more instead of assuming hes fine and assuming him saying he hates his sister is him being Difficult instead of him being scared of being replaced

So they start making sure Griddle gets time with all his dads. They also make sure to ask him if he wants to come do something, even if they know he wont, because getting a choice means a lot to Griddle. They give him some tasks to hell with the baby so he feels involved. His very important job is to read to his baby sister, which he takes very seriously!! Though this ends up with her only wanting her big brother to read her stories when shes toddler age. Shes like “Gwiddle is better at it, you guys suck at it >:(“ and that makes Griddle feel good and really helps him finally bond with her.

One of the fun Dad Things that Gnarly does is that he asks Gristle and Grim to make up small rules that they dont actually care about, so that when theyre both working (Gristle works at a pub, Grim is an author and the kids understand he needs to be alone in his office during worktime. So like hes technically home but hes at work.) Gnarly can be like “As the coolest dad, you guys dont have to follow those rules. But it has to be a secret, ok?” And it makes the kids think theyre getting away with something w/ their Cool Dad.

The age difference between Griddle and Gnasty is 4 years I think btw. And even once Griddle starts liking his sister, hes like “Ok but I dont want anymore siblings, ok?” To his dads. And Gnarly is like “Dont worry, im taking your other dads to the vet to get them fixed.” And that makes Griddle giggle (So when Gristle goes in for surgery when he elects to get his tubes tied, both Grim and Gnarly are like yeah hes at the vet getting fixed. Its just become a family inside joke.)

Idk I love this family…

[incesthemes]

Happy Wincest Wednesday Ciel!!!!!

Sorry this one is so late, my Wednesday in general is starting pretty late today 😅

Ok so my question for you this week, is what are your thoughts on the "boyking" storyline and possible directions it could've gone or you wish it could've gone. Did you like that storyline? Dislike it? Do you have any headcannons for how the boys relationship would shift or develop if Sam was to become the boyking? What kinds of things do you think would lead to Sam finally taking that leap into that role? Etc.

Feel free to answer his whenever since it's so late!

happy wincest wednesday!!!! an entire week late 😳 i got so absorbed in the book i was reading i neglected basically everything else around me, oops

i LOVE the boyking plotline. it represents everything i love about supernatural, to the extent that rewatching anything beyond season 2 is almost difficult because of everything that is lost beyond 2x22. lilith's cool and all but she's no azazel, you feel me

if sam had become the boyking i have pretty much no doubt in my mind that dean would have followed him anyway. by the time they get to their honeymoon phase in season 2, there's so little that can affect dean's unwavering faith in sam it's actually pathetic of him, and he's willing to make any excuse necessary to stand behind sam and remain loyal

of course i don't exactly think sam embracing his fate would have made him, like, evil. in the typical sense of the word. i think he would still be sam, and as long as sam is sam, dean can't fulfill his own destiny. he might accept his powers, he might lead an army of demons, but he would still be sam, and that means, to dean, he would be doing everything for the right reasons. (and crucially, sam would also definitely believe he's doing it all for the right reasons, which only strengthens dean's conviction).

(because dean's faith in sam only begins to waver in season 3 once azazel plants the "came back wrong" idea in dean's head, and even then dean fails to act on his faulty suspicions in any way that would matter. he pussyfoots around the topic and keeps his fears to himself—and when sam brings a demon into things, what does dean do? nothing, that's what. puppy dog behavior i swear. dude needs a full season and 40 years in hell to even start thinking that maybe sam is doing something wrong here and he needs to intervene by force. wtf)

(point is, without azazel sowing doubt within dean, i don't think dean ever would have wavered in his conviction. he replaced his blind loyalty in john with blind loyalty in sam, because that's all he knows, and he needs external motivation to begin to grow out of that mindset)

(he might have continued down the path of belief that he can still save sam, but the point where he's at toward the end of season 2 is like... he's so unwilling to do anything that might hurt his brother. he takes everything in stride no matter how scared or concerned he gets, and as long as sam remains wholly himself, i don't think dean could be moved to action without some external force acting on him. if sam fulfills his destiny by becoming boy king, azazel would have no reason to suggest sam came back wrong, and sam wouldn't have died and dean wouldn't have sold his soul. they would remain suspended in honeymoon phase indefinitely unless something else came along to shake dean's resolve.)

anyway, i think what would push sam to become boyking is dean. i mean dean is the only reason sam's powers ever develop in the first place (the telekinesis in 1x14, because he wants to save dean), and when meg and azazel are trying to goad sam into using his powers, they threaten dean's safety. use your powers to protect dean, they say, and sam is torn between wanting it and hating himself. if anything was going to convince sam to become boyking, it would be dean. (and didn't he do this anyway? his whole idea to save dean from hell was to drink demon blood, effectively embracing his fate and becoming a simile of the original boyking path laid out for him. it's always about dean and it's always about sam needing dean to stay in his life forever and ever.)

so it would probably go like this: dean is in danger, sam can't get to him, he embraces his powers, and he never goes back. he saves dean and he understands for the first time, too intimately perhaps, that these powers make him stronger. he can protect dean and he can get what he wants (also dean) and he can be happy. that's the ending that was promised to him anyway.

narratively speaking, if sam turns to his fate, then he's necessarily turning away from dean, and that causes a ripple effect which makes dean choose his fate over sam, which logically would result in them killing each other cain and abel style. but ultimately i think that would be a long while off for them because of how utterly twisted into each other they are in the second half of season 2. they'd need an external force to shake dean's blind loyalty to sam, and if no compelling arguments are made, dean would likely single-mindedly keep trying to "save" sam no matter the cost to himself or anyone else.

the honeymoon phase is such a weird period in the show because dean is just so completely insane about sam, which throws a curve ball into all of the fate vs family conflict. congrats john, this is your true legacy ✨

[hectorthedoggo]

hey so i wrote the first part out of 9 for the fic where the prisoners observe/experience some of my es hcs, fugue update idk later (maybe friday if i have time) but i'm not gonna write kazui for this one hence the nine.

under cut. It's in Haruka's perspective, so sorry if i wrote him wrong (never written him before ; ;)

also not edited ima do that later but a little preview here

Haruka had earliersubmitted his order forms. I mean, I don’t want to be a bother to the warden… but Mu said it was okay to ask for things, so I guess?

He really wanted cotton candy. It was his favorite, and was like childhood memories. Haruka remembered telling that to the guard in passing once.

Es had scoffed in response, insisting they had to leave. Were they mad at me?

Why had they been mad at me? Did I say something wrong?

I always do that, don’t I?

He shook his head. I want to visit Mu now. I feel… sad.

Haruka peered out of his room and lightly padded over to Mu’s cell. I hope she’s not mad at me for visiting.

He knocked, and a familiar, warm voice called out, “Come in!”

He lightly opened the door so she wouldn’t get scared. “Ah, Haruka!”

Mu was cross legged on her bed, lifting a fork of crepe to her mouth. She swallowed, and smiled at him, making him blush.

“This crepe is really good! Even if they’re a little bit of a meanie, this guard knows their stuff! Right, what did you request?” She set down the delicacy and walked towards

“C-cotton candy, but, uh, are the requests out?”

She giggled. “Of course they are, silly! How else would I get my crepe?” Oh, I’m stupid.

“Sorry…”

“It’s fine! I’ll walk with you to get your cotton candy!”

“Really?!” He lit up.

She nodded, taking his hand. “Of course, let’s go!”

The two walked through the halls, Mu chattering about drama with Haruka listening intently; the pair made their way to the place to pick up requests. 

Sure enough, his treat was lying there, and he grabbed it excitedly. The warden got this… for me!

He had no problems with it, but Mu took a closer look at it. “Hey… Haruka, I think this is wrong.”

“Huh?” Did I do something?

“It looks like someone took a bite of it.”

He looked at it. Sure, it does look weird, but I think I’ll still eat it.

Haruka brought it up to his mouth, intending to eat it and Mu cringed. “Ew! Don’t eat that! Someone else already touched it!”

Oh… but I wanted to eat it… She grabbed it out of his hand, and threw it away. She sighed, ignoring his sadness. “Who would do that? Amane? Ah, but she doesn’t seem the type…”

She kept mumbling to herself as Haruka tried to console himself about his lost treat.

Mu smirked, going into a wild fit of laughter. Haruka looked down at her, and she collected herself. “I- it’s Es… oh my god, they would, that’s so pathetic; does Milgram not give them their own treats?”

Haruka tilted his head, sounding out the word. “Pa-the-tic?”

“Like you! Being pathetic is what makes you so endearing- sorry, funny. Don’t worry, you’re nicer than them, so it balances out.”

Haruka nodded, a note of uncertainty in his voice. “Ok!” I don’t like being compared.

No, Mu likes me, and I’m not going to be replaced.

[7arami]

The One Who Walk Away from Kurta

NEW STORY TIMEEEEEEE :D

Ok so I've been wanting an AU where Kurapika joins the Phantom Troupe but willingly and actually cares about the spiders the same way they have shown to care for each other. Which of course doesn't work with Kurapika's backstory. So Kurapika tends to be ooc in most of the ideas I have. At first I was thinking he could stay behind, witness the massacre, and it just breaks him making him go hysterical. He could have a power up moment like Gon where, subconsciously, he has a major spike in nen. This could catch Chrollo's attention leading to him offering Kurapika a place as a member with the goal of shaping him to become stronger. The young, broken, and traumatized Kurapika agrees because he doesn't want to be alone (or maybe because he's just insane now or something).

The other idea I have, which I am leaning into more, kind of follows the circumstances in The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas. For those who don't know The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas is a short story that takes place in a city called Omelas where everyone lives a prosperous and privileged life, but they are only able to do so at the cost of a child who is forced to live a life of abuse, filth, and neglect. Now my idea is that in this universe, the Kurta clan lives in a similar situation. It could be either that they have a contract with some higher power or this is just a misguided belief of theirs that no one is willing to back out of (and maybe whenever something bad occurs within the clan, they are so brainwashed that they believe it is because the child isn't miserable enough and hurt them more [because i love to make things worse]). They replace the child with a raffle and sadly Kurapika was chosen, and this is how he lives his young life. Until the age of like 10 or 11 when the Kurta clan gets an unexpected visit by a few spiders. The Kurta clan is massacred... all but one. Kurapika manages to escape his cell in the midst of all the chaos. For the first time in years he feels grass beneath his feet, slightly damp from a mixture of dew and blood. He is finally able to breathe fresh air, a heavy mixture of smoke, metal, and soil. He can see a sky full of stars, the moon almost blinding him with her beauty, distracting him from the fires raging on around him.

Looking ahead he sees the silhouette of a tall lean man with tar black hair and bone pale skin. He sees him holding up an older man, one that is all too familiar to him. One of the only consistent faces in his life, an old man who's return only meant more pain and misery for Kurapika. He watches as the stranger slowly crushes the geezers wind pipes as they fruitlessly flail their legs and claw at the arm holding them. Kurapika can't help the smile growing on his face, as he watches the elderly man began to turn a sickly white color, as they began to cough up blood, as their eyes travel further and further back into their head. It was glorious, angelic even. Before he knew it he was starting to giggle, his giggles soon turned into chuckles, chuckles became howling laughter. By then the stranger had switched their attention onto him, Kurapika couldn't find himself to be scared. The stranger effortlessly snapped the old man's neck, much to Kurapika's disappointment. He didn't feel as though it was enough. Still watching the body limply fall to the ground and remain still brought an indescribable pleasure.

The man slowly begins to walk to Kurapika. He can still hear the blood curdling screams of the Kurta clan in the background, yet he can't bring himself to care. Kurapika's eyes are honed solely on the man in front of him. The man stops to kneel in front of Kurapika. He looks him over, maybe in another life Kurapike would feel some sort of shame or embarrassment for his current state. His nauseatingly discolored skin, his feeble twig like limbs, his unkempt knotting hair that resembles a rat's nest, and the absolutely revolting smell that could probably kill within a 5ft radius. But he doesn't, because this is all he's known. The man reaches his hand out causing the child to flinch, more out of instinct than fear. The man pauses for a second then slowly proceeds to brush out the hair blocking the child's face, unveiling a pair of bright scarlet eyes. The stranger begins to speak, Kurapika can only catch every third word, not used to being directly spoken too. He recognizes the word "name".

A vague and cloudy memory surfaces the child's mind, a bright blond woman smiling down at him. Calling out to him with a melodic voice. "...ka" she sings. Again "...-ika". Another person appears this time, someone much younger with hazel hair. Their eyes appear to be clouded over, they also call out to him, they don't seem as happy. He remembers being with them often, what happened to him? He screams to him, "-pika!". Again, louder, "KURAPIKA!". Why did he seem so sad, what happened to him? The stranger moves slightly, breaking the child out of their mind. Realizing they are still waiting for a response the child attempts to speak only to gasp and cough, unable to formulate any noise besides painful hacking. He feels a hand gently grab his arm, again the child flinches out of instinct but still allows themself to be dragged by the stranger. The man moves to an abandoned bag, pulling out a cylinder container. The stranger sticks it out to Kurapika, who only looks at it skeptically, saying more words that Kurapika struggles to comprehend. After a few moments of silence between the two the stranger opens the container, takes a sip, and again offers it to Kurapika. Slowly Kurapika grabs the container and brings it to his mouth. At first he chokes on the cool liquid, but goes right back drinking as much as he can, savoring every drop he can get. Shaking the container over his mouth when it finally empties.

The stranger continues to look at the boy blankly, almost expectantly. The stranger breaks the silence, repeating his earlier statement: "name?". The boy hesitates before trying again. "K-ku..r-a..pi-ka". The corner's of the stranger's mouth quirk up just the slightest. They echo the name, "Kurapika" pointing at the boy. They turn the finger on themselves and speak again, "Chrollo". The boy stares for a beat and opens his own mouth again, before he can even attempt anything he feels someone behind him. Whipping around before his mind could catch up. He stares at a giant of a man, mocha skin with an intimidating and unruly mane. The man stares back, no part of him isn't painted red. Backing up slightly, the child bumps into Chrollo. The impromptu staring contest breaks as the giant looks back at Chrollo questioningly, they speak to each other but all Kurapika can focus on is the red that stains the brawler's teeth.

Kurapika finally looks around to take in his surroundings. Watches as burning homes collapse in on themselves, as bodies lie unmoving, some robbed of their eyes, others showing complete absence of life. He can still hear some cries but they are definitely fewer than before, there are silhouettes of varying sizes in the distance. All Kurapika can think of is how beautiful it all is. How the red glows in the moonlight. The faces of people who had watched as he suffered and left him to rot in his own filth, all for their own self-pleasure. It's all so beautiful that he can't stop the smile that returns to his face, and he doesn't particularly feel like trying. Giggles slip from his grin as he watches everything burn.

The child moved before a hand could grab his shoulder, not realizing he did so until he was staring at Chrollo again. He begins to talk again, even though everything felt too muddled for Kurapika, he had a feeling he understood what the stranger was trying to tell him when he sticks his hand out to Kurapika. Slowly Kurapika grabs the hand in front of him, sealing his fate.

Okayyyyyyyyyy so I definitely like the second idea more, I want it to be where Chrollo sees a wandering child different from the others he has already come across. One that looks way more neglected than the others, one that seems to be laughing with such joy in the face of such destruction, eyes that reflect unbridled delight instead of horror. They appear out of nowhere, Chrollo only being aware of the child's presence when he hears a soft snicker. I'm thinking that Chrollo sees an overwhelming power within Kurapika and wants to utilize it, deciding to take Kurapika in and train them to be an unstoppable spider. I'm thinking Chrollo initially says he sees Kurapika as a potential weapon to be utilized and honed but then begins to care more for the kid. For Kurapika, Chrollo is like his savior, I want him to see Chrollo as like an older brother figure, and he gains this undying loyalty for Chrollo.

I also have an idea where Kurapika still goes out to do the Hunter Exam, and comes across that one blue bozo wannabe and absolutely cracks up the moment he sees the spider tattoo. But yeah I have thought about this a lot and needed to put it down before I throw up spiders :)

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

In the End

Part 2

The ending to the first part of ‘what would happen to the shadow knights when shad dies’

Read the first part before this if you didn’t, it won’t make sense otherwise

Sorry for any mistakes, enjoy :D

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His head was pounding, almost as hard as his heart. A feeling he hadn’t felt since his time in the Nether. He was groggy, confused, and had no clue where he was or what was happening. It had been like this for a while now, off and on. Every time his consciousness returned, it was this. He tried to open his eyes, but they’d only open a slit. The world was dark for him, grey and foggy. He could hardly see, and that scared him. He shivered harshly, his bones shaking at the sudden cold. Though despite feeling like frost were biting him everywhere all at once, the sweat dripped from his forehead into his hardly open eyes. It burned. He tried to make a noise. Tried to call out for someone, anyone, but all that came out was a pathetic whine.

“No, no no. Shh shh. It’s alright. You’re ok Laurance. I’m here. I’m right here. I got you.” the voice of an angel filled his mind, despite sounding muffled and far away. Aphmau was there. Aph was with him, and she was calm. That’s all he needed to know. He felt a warm hand suddenly cup his cheek and wipe away some sweat or maybe they were tears. He basked in it. But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, replaced with a damp and freezing rag. Laurance gasped weakly, tipping his head to the side, trying to avoid the onslaught of cold. “I know I know! I’m sorry, but you’re burning up! We need to cool you down.” Aphmau’s voice was full of sorrow. Even with his eyes open more, he could not see her. She was nothing but a blurry shadow over him now. That’s all he wanted to do. To look into her beautiful amber eyes just to know that everything would be ok. Laurance tried in vein to sit up, but his body was not ready. Suddenly his mind was blank once more and he was lost of consciousness.

When the time finally came for Laurance to try to get up, he was ecstatic. Finally! He was so tired of feeling trapped in this bed. Trapped in his body. He thought he was finally rid of that when Shad died, but turns out, that only made matters worse.

With the help of both Aphmau and Garroth, and about a million strength potions, Laurance managed to sit up and swing his legs over the side of his bed. He hated how much it took out of him. Apparently he’d been unconscious for weeks. Unable to eat or drink. And with his Shadow Knight abilities gone, he became malnourished and weak. He hadn’t been this skinny since he was a kid living on the streets of Meteli. He could see again, though not much better. Things became blurrier the further away they got, as well as everything appearing dark around the edges. But right now, he could see their faces. The pitiful expressions they gave him. He hated it. “Are you ready?” Garroth broke the heavy silence, offering an arm to help steady Laurance with. Laurance gave him a nod in return, huffing as he attempted to get on his feet. Garroth helped him hoist himself up and take a few good steps, before Laurance’s knees buckled and he crashed to the ground with a small yelp. “Shit!” Garroth wasn’t usually one to swear, but now felt like as good a time as any. Garroth sighed and helped Laurance get back to his bed. “I think.. you may need crutches.” Garroth suggested. “Or maybe a cane.?” Aphmau replied, trying in vein to be helpful. Laurance sighed, burying his face in his hands. “…I hate this…. I hate being so helpless and.. and useless,” his voice was hoarse and the lump forming in his throat was starting to hurt, “I’m… sorry to put you all through this..” “Laurance, none of this is your fault!” Aphmau half yelled, though he knew it wasn’t aimed towards him. “We’ll get you through this. All of you..” Garroth trailed off, seeming to regret that last statement. ‘All of you’.. Laurance was the only former Shadow Knight to regain conciseness since that night. At first this was extremely puzzling, for everyone. But sooner or later the reason made itself known. Laurance was the only one here that never actually died. Vylad and Eseryt.. They may never wake.. That thought alone haunted Laurance. How could that possibly be fair? How?!

Lucinda’s potions were helping a lot. In fact, if it weren’t for her potions of strength and healing, Laurance may have never walked again. He made his way to the tavern with Aphmau. They were both tense, but slowly he was beginning to become himself again. He was even smiling for the first time in a while. It was nice. It was nice…. One of Laurance’s crutches caught on a rock poking out of the ground and it sent him falling towards the dirt. He tried to brace himself but it was for naught. He hit the ground with a hard thud and a ‘AGH’. Aphmau rushed to his side, helping him sit back up. Laurance’s face was beet red. “Are you alright?! I swear.. The ground has it out for you or something..” Laurance froze, looking up at Aphmau slowly, eyebrows furrowed and eye wide, as if to say ‘Did you seriously just say that to the half blind guy on crutches?!’ “ha.. hahahaHAHAHAHA Ha haha… phew.. That’s- That’s not funny, Aph.. eheh..” a single tear fell from his cheek, Aphmau brushing her thumb against it to wipe it away, before kissing his forehead and helping him to his feet. “Shall we try that again?” “Yeah.. Yeah. I’ll.. Watch the ground better this time.” Laurance chuckled a bit before they continued towards the tavern.

It was just before noon, Laurance was sitting on his bed reading a book that Garroth had brought him from the local library. Just has he turned to the next page, he heard the door to the infirmary creak open. He listened intently, only hearing hushed whispers and giggling. “Laurance?” Aph’s voice called out. “Yes.?” He called in the return, a grin pulling at his lips. “I have a little surprise for you! I had Katelyn pick he- IT up! Close your eyes!” Laurance sighed dramatically, covering his eyes with his hand. He could hear even more whispers and giggles, and it took everything in him not to open his eyes early. What in the Six could this be? “Ok.. Open!” He opened his eyes slowly, allowing them to readjust to the bright sunlight beaming in through the open window. When he saw it, his mouth fell open and a small gasp escaped his lungs. In front of him sat a small girl. Black hair, tan skin, and green eyes. She almost looked like a smaller version of Aphmau. She was giggling up a storm, holding a small plush rabbit. “Is this..?” “Laurance, I would like to formally introduce you to little miss Lina Zvahl. Your daughter.” Aphmau was absolutely beaming. Tears began to form in his eyes, making them even more blurry than they were before. He chuckled a few times from pure shock. “Hi Lina… I’m your dad.” The smile on Laurance’s face was one he hadn’t worn in a long time. “Hi daddy!” Laurance reached forward to hug his girl, and she hugged him right back. He hadn’t expected her to be so.. ok.. with him this quickly. Perhaps Aphmau told her about him already? She must have. Laurance tried not to, but he couldn’t hold in his sobs. “What’s wrong??” Lina asked innocently, her voice muffled through the hug. Laurance pulled away and held her face in his hands. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I’m just so happy to finally be able to meet you, my Lina.”

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@cinnamontoastcroonch i would never allow that