#ok im rambling i need to go to sleep already

[rubberbandgirlme]

mamma mia here i go again with another chapter from my leander thesis 🤓 please accept my humble input on mc's curse, the importance of reading between leander's flirting lines and rss's wonderful storytelling details.

ngl when i finally chose not to touch leander's hand first (can you blame me, i'm weak for that man) i was bewildered at how strikingly different the options in this scene play out, and i, strange as it seems, like this one much better.

first of all, it's a parallel (even if it's not intended, the connection is still there) to the opening scene with a deranged traveler: the touch, the sensations, the (foreshadowed) strangling:

leander is definitely affected by the curse — possessed even, i would say, as if he was being told to strangle mc. notice how his actions line up with the traveler's, only in slo-mo, because leander was fighting to take back the control. and when mc calls out for him, he either snaps out of it or gets to the exact point when he takes a hold of the curse. this brings up a question: could mc's curse be sentient? alter the minds, you say? (more under the cut because it got long)

i've seen people speculating that mc's curse might bestow the enlightment but that's not true: mc was told that (and that's why this origin has me by the throat (pun absolutely intended): imagine living with so much guilt, thinking you were doing good, but in fact driving people mad… mmm tasty). it ties perfectly into every origin path where mc was being lied to, deceived and betrayed. however, there's definitely something more to the curse's nature that's yet to be disclosed.

my favourite moment though!! is this nuanced character storytelling!!

the very hand that was inches away from choking mc to death is quickly disguised as caring and soothing. wonder why? to gain mc's trust (non-verbally), to show that leander's in control, he's strong, he's there for mc, he'll take care of them. of course, leander, being a leander, downplays the whole experience of being possessed/affected by the curse, but he's being honest at once. he doesn't lie to mc — and that's also how he's gaining trust, verbally this time.

one more question that begs to be asked: why the hell all of this doesn't happen if mc touches leander first? it seems that the quality of the touch (😭) also plays an important role here:

leander must have felt the power of the curse, but he wasn't possessed by it, he could control it right away — why? because the touch was fleeting? or because it was mc who was touching him, not the other way round?

now hear me out (i might be wrong on this one, because i can't remember any more examples off the top of my head, but i feel like it's definitely a thing. let me know if something comes up!): we should pay closer attention to how leander says the truth (or half-truth), but it could be understood differently at a flirting angle (it's slightly different from this one, where he covers up his misstep). what i think he means here is that he controls the curse, but it sure is a difficult thing to do. "not due to your power" my ass, his need to look strong and heroic and weak at the same time is ridiculous, someone cure this man (ivolunteer.gif)

one more and last thing that's bothering me (it might play into the previous point btw): if you keep touching him, he tells mc that fissures on their hands match his golden pin. why??????? that's such a dumb thing to flirt about, such a weird comparison. what kind of connection is there? it's so out of place, it definitely means something more. leander spill

[goldensunset]

just one semester i'd like to be able to dodge having to sign up for any early morning classes

[ssparksflyy]

hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..

mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡

there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.

hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed

but other times noooo he goes running 🙄

what is bro running from? sleep???

omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine

one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together

you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out

so you had to stay behind and help fix it

by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭

mind you it was like 9:15 pm

its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??

he apologized sm in the morning tho

but u were like its okay el oh el

he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you

its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho

cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep

he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠

nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡

so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS

u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense

but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡

he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(

he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work

you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))

to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡

jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair

the most relaxing thing everrrrr

i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me

his hair would be soft asf bro

best believe he uses a good conditioner !!

he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~

so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree

0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary

cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts

he looks amazing but THEM EYES

terrifying. staring into ur soul.

theyre cute tho ♡♡

you OBVI have matching pjs

i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick

jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY

but he buys u so many plushies ugh

you own so many jellycats im so jealous

he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like

u have matching build-a-bears !!!

the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(

his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡

nd u get matching outfits for them!!

urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡

i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares

like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(

most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life

but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much

now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((

he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable

little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡

and on the same nights as he does...

CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS

nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !

zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway

i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨

but doesn't actually do anything

u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡

an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[dappersautismcreature]

Hey qblr,

You guys made my 2023 unfathomably better, it cant be calculated where id be if not for this place and this community. Not to get sad but a little over a year ago now, on January 17th, my friend and roommate in college got hit by a car and killed, along with their dog. it was sudden and horrible and i was very quickly super depressed. But soon, the qsmp came along, and you guys did too. Having a community that was consistent, fun, and kind, was exactly what i needed. I won’t go into detail about my mental health this year but lets just say it was bad, but again, having this community to wake up to made everything ok.

I’ve been in the greater mcyt community on tumblr since 2021 but qsmp was when i really started liveblogging and making friends.

Thank you all for actually enjoying my rambles about politics and media, and video essays and qbad and the federation etc etc. Shaking hands with my soulfire comrades, and my starhalo and maxhalo lovers. 

Dont kill me if i forget people i swear i think about every single one of my mutuals every night before i go to sleep (/j)

@skullhalo i have to start with you lim, one of the first mutuals i ever talked to and you have been constantly kind to me, I’m so glad we’re mutuals. Also dude you need to draw more O__o ur art is amazing. See you on qblrsmp >:DD (which you helped create which is so so cool seriously)

@murky-tannin long time no see! I swear i havent been able to see your posts in a long time for some reason. But i miss talking shit with you and you are also one of my oldest mutuals. Thanks for getting me to watch madoka magica lmaoo

@disfrutalakia another one of my oldest mutuals in this fandom, i think you are so cool dude. Loved how you spearheaded the bus ride into purgatory and your constant ideas and creativity! We need to hang out on qblrsmp more

@starry-bugs dude i was so excited when you followed me back you’ve always had such cool posts and i love interacting with you! Based as hell, jaiden poster, 10/10

@constella have to include my oldest mcyt mutual, we’ve been following eachother since the eternalduo trenches lmaoo. i love your foolish posting and being a consistent guy on my dash. Also your art slaps, do more of that pleeease 🥺

@tubborucho and @terezicaptor thank you for being my tubbling informants and making me see how similar we are in terms of mains. You guys were consistently kind, funny, and amazing. I was rooting for your little guy and his egg and his boyfriend.

And , @daddyboyhalo, @flygonydoo, @belovedstilldear, @cheezy-posts, @steelstreqq,

@fitmc , @globiceps , @cellgatinbo

all of you are my family on the qblrsmp and i love love love hanging out with you all. its been a wild month already and you guys are so nice to me. im looking forward to when the server starts back up and where itll take me this summer. <3 rosas

and of course @kingshadows1001 and @rib0mbees and @sinning-moon and bixx, thanks for being my minecraft parents!!

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

oh my , oh my , oh my…

MTF!Jeff the killer x Reader 🙏🏻🙏🏻

-⭐

Summary: MTF (Male to Female) Jeff x Reader headcanons

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Little mentions of transphobia and being confused about gender, the cover picture can be a little creepy if you have a thing about lots of limbs in one place, brief mention of psychosis and jeff kind of not having an understanding of it

A/n: MTF JEFF MY BELOVED. Also, I will be referring to Jeff with she/her pronouns throughout the entire work just to avoid confusion

Credits: Jeff the killer- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Picture- Pinterest

MTF!Jeff the killer x Reader

As im sure we can all guess, Jeff didn't have the best support system growing up

The kids barely had their basic survival needs met, let alone had the freedom to question things like gender and sexuality

But after living with Slender for most of her life, jeff gets the chance to explore who she is as a person for the first time

She had been feeling dysphoria her entire life with her body, but she just considered it to be another symptom of whatever caused her psychotic break during the 'incident'

She never even considered the possibility that she might be trans until seeing others describe their experiences

It is only then that she realized a lot of what she was experiencing wasn't psychosis, but was instead gender dysphoria

And the realization kind of makes things worse

She's already in a relationship with you, and what if you leave her because you wanted a man? Not to mention what her friends might think, and what if no one takes her seriously? What if she gets made fun of?

All of these emotions swell up in her, and she refuses to talk to anyone about it

Until eventually she's just in a rage, punching walls and yelling at people, even beating anyone who gets too close up

She eventually storms off to her room and you give her a second to just chill out

After a while, you go up there too

She is laid down on her bed, seemingly trying to sleep

You sit next to her, careful not to touch her (She hates being touched when she's angry) "What was all that about?" you ask in a worried tone

She doesn't respond, she'd honestly rather die than tell you what's been going on

You sit in silence for a second before talking again "You know you can tell me anything. I promise it won't make me love you any less"

She still doesn't say anything, which leads to you sighing and leaving the room

A few days later you two had gotten wrapped up in a conversation about trans people and your opinions on the subject

"Would you ever date a trans person?" She asks

You place a finger on your chin, thinking for a moment before saying "I like to think I'd be open to it. Why, are you trans?" You add that last part as a joke, but quickly begin to question whether it was a joke

Her breath hitches and she quickly looks away from you, not sharing the laugh that you do

You quiet down and it is silent for a while, no one dares to speak

"....Jeff, a-are you trans?"

"I don't wanna talk about it" She says, quickly standing up and leaving the room

You try to get up and chase after her, but by the time you look into the hallway, she's gone

Being together after that is very awkward, and you see that she obviously doesn't want to talk much on it so you decide to keep your questions short and sweet

"Does anyone else know?" You ask, both of you not looking at each other

"No, and I don't want them to." She responds

"Do you have another name you want me to call you?"

"....Jeff is fine."

You smile and finally look at her "Ok" you press a quick kiss to her cheek before rambling about your day, quickly making both of you forget all about the previous topic

She is very shy when it comes to actually coming out, and she obviously doesn't change much, so you decide to just take things slow

Idk if she'd ever want to medically transition, because despite hating her body she also has those moments where she's like "I'm literally god no one else could ever look this good"

And as for the name, she doesn't really see a reason to change it, she likes being called Jeff

[blessed-pizza]

For the oc asks, 1, 20, and 30!

"Huh? We have mail?" (How long has this been sitting here... whoops hehe)

"Let's see..." "A couple questions huh... Sure why not."

1: Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

"As far as i know, the only one to sleep with plushies is Ace, she has a Latias and a Latios plushie. She seems to adore them both equally, as far as i can tell. And, well... I have to admit, I'm kind of jealous."

"I'd love to have a plushie as well, though, with my size, most of them would probably be bigger than myself"

"Also, well... Im not sure if it counts, but Rose always sleeps with her hammer"

"It helps with my sleeping posture, OK?!"

"yeah, sure..."

20: What do they like that nobody else does?

"I think I saw Cotton eat a whole tomato berry once, like.. just raw... Ate the whole thing in three big bites, she didn't even break a sweat or anything... (She kinda scares me sometimes)"

"They're really good for your health, you know?"

"You should try one! Maybe you'll like it more than you think."

"I think I'll pass."

"Dude, you have no right to talk. You eat electricity."

"That's... THAT'S DIFFERENT! Besides, I don't eat it, I use it to recharge. I don't produce enough on my own to properly recharge, so I need an external source to help."

"What about Frillian then? He uses the sun to recharge, why isn't that weird?"

"Cus a lot of pokemon do that. It's called photosynthesis."

"First of all, that's not the same as photosynthesis. Secondly, a lot of other electric types also need outside sources to recharge their electricity."

"At least they don't ramble on about 'what battery tastes the best' for an hour."

"That wasn't about tas... Urghh.. Never mind"

30: What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

"I'm... I'm not.. sure.." "I.. I can't really think of doing anything that would normally be unforgivable..." "I... don't think i could bring myself to do something so bad.."

"Uhh.. Amp? I... I think you might be looking a bit to deep into this one."

"You know what I'll do?"

"I'll take all the blast seeds we've collected over time, stuff them into some kind of closed container, take it outside and light m' up!"

"I'm curious how big of a fireball it would create."

"Hehe... Yeah... Yeah, that does sound kind of fun..."

"What about you, Bouy?"

"Hmm... I think I'll take one of my dad's atlases with me back here. I'm wouldn't be allowed to take them under normal circumstances, because they take my dad a ton of work to make."

"I'd love to have one, one day."

"Hatchet, Ace? you got anything?"

"I'll eat all the perfect appels in the pantry!"

"Yeah! And the Pecha berries. Those are my favourites!"

"As if the two of you don't already do that... Anyway, what I'll do is to just take a break for couple of days. With all the work I have to do, I can barely take a day of."

"Trying to keep track of the stock, keeping the bedrooms clean, filling in orders for resources and plenty more, all the while there are two literal teenagers running around... isn't the most relaxing experience."

"Even the weekends used to quite busy. Though a lot of the load has been lifted of my back since Amp and Rose joined. They help around with most physical tasks and while I share the paperwork with Frillian, most of it still ends up on my desk..."

"Well... Planning and preparing for expeditions takes quite a lot of time and resources, especially the maps. Dang those things are expensive.. And I haven't even started on the... Oh, yeah, right... the question."

"Well.. how much I'd love to take a couple days off like Cotton, I don't think forgiveness is going to be enough. Running an exploration team isn't really free, you see... How much I've loved it to be. So, yeah... I guess I'll be joining in to watch Rose's blast seed pile."

[prestonmonterey]

TLT UPDATE!! BEFORE I GO TO BED

(gods im so tired...)

@vincentaureliuslin @tatsumisheep3

no photos today so heres my cat :P

OPENING NIGHT!!! it went super well!!!!! (i think)

it was PA night so the understudys were percy and annabeth and they killed it!!!!!! :DDDD

also my director gave me a compliment today so im in a good mood (it was somethin along the lines of "you finally did a good job as cerberus" but ill take what i can get...) (i still have beef with him but.. whatever....)

its crazy how fast this show is going and that itll all be over after sunday,, but also i am SO tired bc we literally spend more time at school than at home this week :(

also getting a lotta acne bc im not used to wearing this much make up every day :P

but hey at least ill get to rest a teeny bit on the weekend (just in the morning TwT bc we have matinees)

also my parents and some of my friends are comin tomorrow so they BETTER FUCKIN BUY ME CANDY (i really really really want candygrams... one of the stage managers got like 4 boxes of candy i am so jealous...)

also also also we did the legacy robe last night before preview night and my friend (and mother /ij) got it :DDDD very happy for her

um um um i felt like i had more to say but idk this is already a lot and i cant remember things im kinda tired :P

oh i finally got my camper necklace!!! the beads were missing for like a week but they were just on the table in the costuming room... anyway my friend made it for me during tech class bc shes so so sooo sweet <3 (while i was in math trying to force my friend to study... *stares at neeks* /aff) i got four beads that kinda almost make the ace flag!! (black for tech, silver for the fall play, light blue for this show, and purple for my grade)

idk if i explained it before but all of our necklaces represent how much theater we've done,,, bc its kinda like how long we've been at camp. theres a bead for each grade based on our class colors, and the tlt bead, so everyone gets at least 2. theres also beads for each of the past musicals and plays at school, and a black bead if youve done tech, and a white bead if youve done leadership :D some of the seniors have like most of their necklace filled because of how many shows theyve done

heres another cat pic to keep you engaged and reading this /hj

also also also many many thanks to my wonderful actor and tech friends i would not survive without them (especially thanks to tech bc they have to put up with us actors... /hj) its poseidon's actors first show i think and they have a LOT of quick changes so their section of the rack is,,, kind of a mess. also the lamp for the oracle scene has broken multiple times i think already... and i already left my make up bag out yesterday and my watch in the cubbies today TwT we are a hot mess

my graphic design teacher was acting today :D (the farmer in drive is a teacher role, and they switch out every night) and i love him being so absolutely perplexed by the energy circle before show :333

also i remembered to put setting powder on for the first time,,, and... i forgot that my mom is SO much paler than me TwT (i was very washed out...) so ill probably stick to spray for the rest of the week :P

sorry i really am rambling tonight...

ok i will probably hopefully do at least one more update after strike on sunday!! (depending on how tired i am,, i might just curl up on the floor and sleep after the sunday show actually...) unless something goes horribly wrong,,, then ill probably post about it too

good night!! i need to collapse in bed and try to save up enough energy for tomorrows show :3

have a wonderful day/night and remember to hydrate! (or you'll die straight...)

[whatthehelltony]

could be doing anything else right now but I’m sitting in bed with all the windows open writing text post for tumblr and freezing my ass off. My pants are too big for me and it’s making me so mad and I want to make something but idk what and it’s so messy in here and I need to clean and I feel sick so maybe i should close the windows and maybe I should eat something other than sugar and caffeine and maybe I should make lunch but it’s too late so I’ll just wait til dinner cause everyone knows calories don’t count after dark which is maybe my problem and my throat hurts and I’m cold and I want to talk to someone but instead I’m here rambling to no one and I hope that I remember to delete this before anyone I know sees it but I probably won’t and I feel like I’m wasting time but I can’t stop and I just want to do something but idk what I and I just want to build something but it seems like maybe right now I have to do nothing because the only other thing I can do is destroy and talk to much and maybe I should sleep well tonight but I’ve already decided I won’t until my giant painting has a sky and I know that i cannot move the dresser til after dark and I need to hide my energy drinks cause people are coming over and might want to sit on the closet couch and I also need to move my sewing stuff and the dress I started and of course never finished because if I don’t do it all at once it won’t get done like the book my girlfriend gave me that I had to force myself to read in one sitting cause i knew I wouldn’t otherwise and why is it is a struggle to do things I want to do and why can’t I type and the music is too loud in my earbuds but it needs to be loud and I can’t type and I feel like I’m going deaf and maybe I’m going blind cause my eyes are always blurry now and maybe I should drink some water cause otherwise I’m gonna die at practice and maybe I should eat something but I ate a cookie at midnight last night and my mom isn’t home to tell me to eat and why am I complaining cause I eat dinner and I eat and I don’t have a problem and I’m itching but I know the thing that will make it stop will be too obvious and the last thing I want is for people to know anything and I wanna go home but I’m sitting in bed with the windows open and I am home and it’s cold but the sun is shining and my heart is beating too fast and maybe it’s the caffeine or the adrenaline from talking too much or maybe it’s my heart and I’m going to die and maybe I should close the window and put a period in my writing so that people can actually read it but maybe I’m making it unreadable in purpose so that no one reads it and maybe I could not post this but we both know I have to because I can’t text my girlfriend and even if I could I know I wouldn’t say anything cause she’s got it way worse and I’m actually good so idk what I’m doing here and why I’m typing and there’s a notes app for a reason but it just isn’t the same and I need to stop and I need to put a period somewhere but it’s too bright and my eyes are blurry but I won’t sleep til tomorrow and I need to shut up but my head hurts and maybe this will make it feel better but now I have to go because people are coming over and I need to clean and I keep forgetting things and maybe I’m crazy but people who are actually crazy don’t think they’re crazy so im ok and I won’t put a period because fuck

[autisticempathydaemon]

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ by Noah Kahan, I know these songs are kinda trending rn or at least they are on my fyp lmao. But I absolutely am obsessed with this song. So many of the lyrics are superrr relatable to me but I really love the lyric, “You’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” isbwieneo it’s so personal to me fr fr.

What is your Enneagram type?

9w1 :)

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

ok, ok, so. my imaginary friend was a girl with red hair. She was a little shorter than I was and I can’t remember if I had a name for her or not. She’d always match what I was wearing and we would play with my Polly Pockets all the timeee. Since I have a sibling I would more so play with them but my imaginary friend came to visit sometimes. She was really sweet. More outspoken than I was…if an imaginary friend can be outspoken.. She definitely had more confidence than I did.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’d change my name to Drew, I just feel like my name is so basic. My dad always said if my parents had a boy they would’ve named him Andrew. And while i’m comfy with my gender I’d still love to change my name. It seems easier to change it to something that my parents already kinda considered.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

While I love all of them. I think my favorite is ‘Comforted by an Arrogant Incubus’ it was the first audio of Erik’s that made me feel safe. I think it was the first audio I cried too tbh. I just love it so much. I also feel like my mutuals will be shocked that I didn’t pick a different audio.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

…I love him so much, and i’m saying this because i’m like him. And it scares me how alike we are sometimes. But Guy… I LOVE GUY!! Please don’t get me wrong. I just don’t understand the hype. I’m also a lot like him so that might be the reason…I don’t think i’m all that so maybe my feelings towards myself translate to him. But do I listen to everyone of his audios? Yes. Do I enjoy them? Also yes.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ I KNOW EVERY WORD!!! Every single one. I had a marvel obsession and let me tell ya. You turn on that movie and no one will see me blink for the full duration of the movie. I won’t move from my seat. This movie has a chokehold on me fr fr

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

I really had to think about this one. Would I date this person? Yes. Do I think it would go well…Maybe, but i’d rather be friends. But Im picking Sam!!!! I feel like he’s the dad friend and I need that in my life. He’s the guy that i’m calling if my car breaks down or if I do. He’d let me come bother him at all hours of the day while also forcing me to take care of myself when I busy with college. I love him so so so much and want to be his bestie so badly.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

I start to ramble about how not tired I am. Like i’ll be actively falling asleep and will be telling the person i’m having a convo with that i’m not tired and i’m not going to bed. Only to be asleep thirty (30) seconds later. I also get really cuddly when i’m drifting off and normally Im not that cuddly cause of how warm I am.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

White cheddar popcorn, those chewy smarties ropes, and a coca-cola icee. it slaps fr

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

It’s a playlist that my best friend made when we took a twenty (20) hour round trip, road trip. It’s twelve (12) hours long and i’m obsessed with it. We had so many great unhinged moments during that drive. We still text about them to this day and the road-trip was last year lmao. We were slightly crazy to drive that much in a 36 hour span but it was worth it. We’ve got memories that we will talk about for the rest of our lives.

Extra info:

I’m the baby of my family, I’m going into healthcare, I love turtles (like kind of an obsession), i’m touch starved to the max but won’t do anything to fix it, I have a weighted dino and a weighted blanket that I sleep with. If I don’t have those I will explode. Oh, and I have a fear of sleepovers. So…yeah… :).

Thank you so much for doing this!!! It really made me think about myself which was fun! I hope you are having an awesome day!!

Hmmm, this one really had me percolating over the Redactedness brackets. In the end, it’s something about your Enneagram type that really settles me with Milo as your match.

9w1s are known as the Dreamers, characterized by this optimistic and unshakable sense of justice and a sense of responsibility to uphold it, to do what’s right. This seems supported by your goals of working in medicine/healthcare. That’s hella Sweetheart-coded which makes you a perfect fit for Milo. (Also, Milo is totally a momma’s boy, and I think he’d be so delighted to be with someone who works in health/healing like Marie. Like, not in a weird way, but it’d probably feel very familiar and loving to him.)

Also, Milo, like most shifters, is the perfect boyfriend for touchstarved babes who needed weighted things to sleep. We’ve all heard his “Comforted by-” audio; we all know he would give the best head scratches, and that’s not even mentioning what a fantastic weighted blanket/animal he would make in his wolf form. You’d be so sweet together: him with his cat, you with your turtle(s), those cats and turtles and their playfully antagonistic relationship. I can very much imagine Aggro being a dick to some turtles in a fun, cartoon, Tom & Jerry way.

Song:

You know I'll treat you right/ We'll dance through the morning while everyone's sleeping/ And if you get too tired/ Just rest your lips on mine/ Lovers don't have to just kiss in the evening/ I think we danced last night till three in the morning

One of my favorite fandom headcanons is that Milo loves old-school, classic love songs of the crooning, swing dancing variety; I think it’s some combination of his accent, rakish charm, and confidence. I could easily imagine this playing through your house in the evenings, those twilight hours between night and day, between asleep and awake, when you are sleepy enough to let him lead you through a dance.

Runner-ups:

Geordi, I love for you because I think he’s an unashamed Marvel fanboy, and I love pairing nerds together; y’all deserve it. Personally, I think he’s a Spiderman fan, and y’all could have some very fun debates about Team Captain America versus Team Iron Man. Elliott would be a cute runner-up because I think it’d be sweet to put two babies of the family together- like, your energies would match- and you two could have a fun college meet-cute; that setting would really suit him.

note: thank you for waiting so patiently~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[beasttrash]

with twitter self imploding i thinking about shifting back here so i am cautiously starting with Some Thoughts on film red under the cut

yes!! i love the confirmation that usopp is the crew's stylist and makes their clothes. actually, i think oda might have mentioned something about usopp making t-shirts but i've also been re-reading saint young men so my wires are getting crossed, probably.

audience surrogate jinbe is great and helpful ngl. he's the only one asking the right questions and i love him for it. also?? they did just a fantastic job seamlessly adding him to the crew here. he had so many cool scenes i am so happy for him. 😭

i wanna say the most out of focus character in the movie was,,, zoro? he was. there. like he did a lot of cool things, but he didn't do a whole lot. which is fine bc i think characters like brook and usopp have been out of focus in the manga so giving them some time to shine isn't a bad thing. i honestly think the only thing zoro got out of the movie was free booze, he's happy. i'm happy.

we'll get to sanji. also zosan so do not fret i will be on brand for this.

im a dumbass who paid $25 US dollary doos for dolby digital (imax though, makes me nauseous) but holy fucking hell that was worth it, the music combined with the visuals looked so fucking Good on screen, i can't really imagine watching it on my laptop screen or even a tv. this is definitely the reason why we need theaters yet ngl.

uta gaslights the entire movie and we love her for it. i love oda's "were gonna make cute, morally ambiguous girlbosses" era

"oh no not another movie about a new character from a main character's childhood who we never met until now" actually i felt like uta's addition to the movie was a lot less contrived than sabo surviving a ship explosion, and tbf luffy is not really one to talk about his past all that much so it works for me.

most of the side characters were well intergrated into the movie with the exception of kalifa, i wish she'd done more but i guess there were already a lot of characters to organize.

im so happy they were like "brulee has such a fantastic devil fruit power we're gonna add her in here and also katakuri, sure, the people LOVE katakuri i love brulee she's so funny and my favorite charlotte sibling WEEPS

ok now we'll talk about the Boy.

sanji was a good boy

i love when sanji keeps his shit together, smooth operator sanji is such a Mood.

YES i did cry at him flirting with brulee omg that was such an adorable scene, i wish he was more flirty with older ladies like that. it feels so on brand for him to do that.

ok back in may i made a joke about sanji and zoro taking edibles in context of this movie and i didn't think there would be drugs in the film because of japan's views on illicit substances. and then uta slips sanji a shroom and i'm fuckin losing my shit. apollo pegging me with the dodgeball here.

music, violence, drugs, Woodstock 99 the anime. Anyway

i'll finish off this ramble with Zosan of course.

the pandering was so explicit i cannot believe toei made them sleep next to each other like a chaste 1950s couple with separate beds.

ok i said zoro did nothing earlier. 90 per cent of zoro's lines in the film were just him flirting with sanji and 45% of sanji's lines was him reciprocating. toei knows exactly what they are doing and its killing me.

the shoulder scene? fucking Shameless zoro. whore behavior.

imagine being anime only and watching zoro knock out a bunch of dudes with out even looking at them and sanji's leg turning into blue fire for 5 seconds. have fun wondering what that's all about.

and that 5 seconds where luffy does gear 5?? knocked my fuckin socks off

final thoughts: if i had the time i'd go watch it in theaters again. this movie?? this movie was made for me!! im sure there are a lot of flaws but personally it worked for what it was lol. 10/10.

[pepprs]

ok mutuals. so we’ve established that i am extremely mentally ill about my job due to fomo and projection issues 🤪😻✨so i rarely let myself turn things down or take breaks or whatever. but im trying to be better about that and in the last couple of weeks like.. i took 2 days off last week and will take another one tomorrow and yesterday i started getting cr*mps so i pulled out of facilitating the orientation sessions bc i was like im in pain and this is one too many things and like.. if it sucks hit da bricks yk. but last night i got my p*riod and i didn’t sleep well and i feel so lightheaded and my cramps are horrible now… and it’s like. literally the only thing i have to do on campus today is orientation which is a nightmare anyway. so maybe i should skip it again and work from home today bc i NEVER let myself do that anymore bc im afraid to miss anything in the office (and also i don’t take anything like pain meds bc my family is insane 🤪 so i would be going thru cramps relying only on my heating pad and i do have one in the office but it’s obviously not the smae thing as like lying down with it and also if i do orientation then im flying solo for 2 hours ON MY FEET the whole time and this time id have to walk around a lot more bc of some of the changes we made). but then im like well ive come to work w worse cramps before and also i feel bad leaving my one colleague bestie alone in the office todsy (the other one is on vacation) esp bc im already taking another day off tomorrow. but then it’s like.. well i shouldn’t worry abt that i need to do what feels good for me. so idk that was kinda rambling and i was going to ask if u think i should stay home but i think typing that out… i am going to.

[johobi]

TW: binge-eating

Below: A general ramble about ADHD, meds, returning to leisure projects and, finally, an outpouring of gratitude from a soppy bitch:

This is becoming more of a ‘Jo updates about her mental health’ blog but 😂😂 it’s good news! I am a month/6 weeks or so into titration of my new ADHD meds and they have literally made every aspect of my life better. Not overstating it, and I’m already out of the ‘honeymoon’ period. I am currently studying at home, unprompted, and have been doing so the last 3-4 weeks. I finally feel like I am on a level playing field with ‘normal’ people. My self-care, my sleep hygiene, daily routines, they’ve all improved and I’m maintaining them everyday. This has never happened before. I have also stopped binge-eating which I never even realised was probably linked to my lack of dopamine.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I might be able to fulfil my potential rather than scrape by thru sheer force of will alone (will that eroded to nothing and resulted in a lot of academic self-sabotage. Even though it’s crap it got to that point, hitting rock bottom is what helped me realise that there was something very wrong).

So now what? Im studying regularly, keeping routines, can finish projects, actually engage socially with people and take on some extracurricular demands, such as becoming my course rep. I am so unbelievably happy these days that it almost feels too good to be true. I never knew what it was like to be satisfied with a day’s work or that I had ‘earnt’ my leisure time.

Now that I can sit down and work regularly, I’m thinking about writing these days. I can see myself at my desk, doing it, and enjoying it again. Without the exhausting internal struggles I usually go thru. I do have a lot of work for uni to do and that is always going to be my first priority, but now that I’m catching up and controlling things, I am going to start pencilling in time to write into my diary (!! Yes, I have a diary, and I actually use it now, rather than buying it cuz it’s pretty and then letting it collect dust.)

Sorry for the extremely long ramble, if anyone is still here and has been for a long time, or if you’re new and stumbled across my fics, I sincerely apologise for not being consistent or reliable, it’s painfully obvious why, now, but yeah. I just want to say thank you so much for reading this nobody’s writing and literally giving me lifelines every day when I’ve visited very dark places.

Every engagement I ever had with you meant something to me and I do not understate this. Writing and talking with you was an escape but I don’t feel as though I need to escape anything anymore, I can do both harmoniously.

I really hope you’re all doing ok and thriving. We all deserve to. I love you 💗🥰

[honkytonkdyke]

(emeto) i’m gonna vomit in your askbox, and you can make some sense of it, ok? ok. fugio cuddling after a long day of work, maybe a long day of nothing except existing, and they fall asleep together just on giorno’s chair at his desk. fugo in giorno’s lap and they look like sillay cats

im gonna write something here and deviate from my normal ramblings. we will get back to our regularly scheduled programming upon my next answer to one of your asks. ALSO i had to write this twice because i was on my phone and i accidentally closed it out 😭😭 i was so upset. i hope you enjoy!!

Giorno couldn’t remember the last time he was free on Saturday. He always came straight home and entered his office, diligently working on files and preparing for meetings until Fugo came and pried him out of his office chair and into the dining room to eat supper. He never went back into the office after this; he couldn’t resist spending the rest of the night with Fugo.

The next morning, he woke up bright and early to continue working until Friday’s routine repeated again. This had been their Fridays and Saturdays for no telling how long.

Today was the exception. Giorno didn’t bring home any files to be read through and sorted, for they had already been handled and filed away before he left headquarters. He didn’t have any meetings scheduled for the remainder of Friday or all of Saturday, for he’d taken all of them earlier today or next week when he returned. He didn’t have any intel to determine as legitimate, for it had been a remarkably slow week for Passione’s reign on the crime in Venice. It was a purely accidental miracle.

So instead of going to his office when he returned home, Giorno went to bed.

Fugo sat against the headboard, a book in hand. His brows furrowed at the sight of Giorno in their bedroom so early.

“Is something wrong?” Fugo asked as the door creaked open. Giorno entered and shut the door without a word.

Giorno crawled up next to him and laid his head on the curve of Fugo’s stomach. “Can I?” he whispered, voice weary.

“Of course,” Fugo answered without hesitation, shifting so Giorno could lie comfortably on his torso. He ran one hand through his hair while he wrapped his arm around Giorno’s waist. He had never seen Giorno so unabashedly relaxed.

It wasn’t long before Fugo realized Giorno had fallen asleep. On his chest. In his arms.

Fugo couldn’t remember the last time Giorno had slept in his arms. He had always fallen asleep before Giorno on the weekends, even when Giorno was in bed with him. It was a sight to see him asleep, at peace. He would cherish this moment for all the nights he went to sleep before Giorno. It was for all the nights he slept on the couch in Giorno’s office, insisting that he didn’t want him to be alone while he worked.

Fugo was so glad they were together now. A moment of tenderness the both of them so desperately needed.

[purplecraze]

Beauty and the Beast AU 12

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:44 PM

"Oh i see..." he murmured

"So the merchants come here just once in a month?"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:44 PM

He nods. "yes..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:45 PM

"Mh..."

He took another bite

"You think they manage to come in time even with the snow? It dosent snow often here"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:47 PM

"They won't come up until the castle walls. There's a checkpoint I can see from here where they drop it off. I can easily retrieve it from there with magic."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:49 PM

"I see...Nh..." He looked off

"You think you will be fine tomorrow? Would be shitty if i go to some epic quest to uncurse you and then you die of fever as soon im gone" he smirked

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:50 PM

"..........."

If he'd say no, what then? He can't expect the boy to stay for another month, it's unreasonable, and too risky... He couldn't...

"I'll be just fine. I've lived through worse."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:52 PM

"Oh ok--" He murmured

Oh Narancia chill, he told you more than once he likes to being alone; also you are basically a pest right now that is living in his house rent free. Also you need to focus on how to fix the curse, no time to loose

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:53 PM

well, he only told you once. and he was lying....

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:54 PM

He got kicked out when he was 6, he has some issues ok?

Narancia finished to eat and looked outside the window

"...Can you show me how you make the birdy? I read something about it in the book but i want to see"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:57 PM

"............" Fugo drank the orange juice, slowly, wanting to enjoy it.

"Sure, that's fine......" he weaved his hand in a certain way and a bird showed sitting on top of his fingers.

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:58 PM

"Ah?? Just like that??" He said looking at the bird

"Why you picked a swallow?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:00 AM

He flicked his fingers twice and it flew off to nestle in Narancia's hair. "I can do various small creatures. But it's what you reminded me off."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:00 AM

"Oh??" He giggled

"Thats why? Really?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:01 AM

He nodded. Though he didn't add in what that implied and how it symbolized freedom and such.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:04 AM

"Thats funny because i really like birds!" He giggled

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:04 AM

"That so? why?"

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:08 AM

"I just think they are neat! I mean they can fly, and thats aready a bonus, but they are also more smart than people think of! Tou know that crows can recognize faces? And if you hurt one they will tell about you to his family and so they will avoid you...or try to peak your eyes, depeends how close you are to the nest- also they can play with eachother and if trained they can even lean how to use sicks to grab objet to far!"

No planes? Bird nerd then

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:10 AM

Fugo properly heard him out as the boy rambled about his obsession. the bird hopped on his shoulder and started changing form as it crawled down, until it curled up as a cat on his lap.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:12 AM

He gasped

"A kitty!!"

He petted the animal, and also showed how easly was to catch his attention...

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:13 AM

Fugo chuckled, noticing how easily the other was distracted. the cat purred content.

"...........err..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:14 AM

"Mh?" he asked as he played with the toebeans of the cats

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:14 AM

"........" he looked off. "You don't have to stay in the room tonight.. just so you know..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:16 AM

"Oh cool!" He nodded

Too bad most of the times he got out was to see what fugo was doing as a  monster...

"You should catch up some sleep tonight tho"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:17 AM

he laughed a bit. "My sleeping pattern is a mess already, so I doubt I can......

uhm.......can you-......... will you s-...stay with me? Tonight?" he didn't look at him.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:18 AM

"Oh- Yeah why not?" He smiled "What you want to do?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:20 AM

"uh....." seems like he had no plan what so ever.

'uhm...err....the..the stars are-...you can see the stars well from the tower.. if you'd like.."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:22 AM

awkard...and cute

"Sure!" He smiled nodding "Then, rest a bit for now, and dont worry about the mess, you sounded chill tonight so i can fix on my own if you broke something!"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:23 AM

he shook his head. "It's a small effort, really..... you'd want to see the dome again, I'm sure."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:23 AM

He giggled "Mh...Maybe i do" he admitted "You sure you dont want to try go in?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:24 AM

"............" he closed his eyes. "......mm...... maybe tonight..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:29 AM

"Yay!" He smiled "You sure will be better than me at figure out what to do"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:33 AM

"....? figuring out what?"

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:34 AM

"Dunno, i was looking if mom left something there that maybe could help.."

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:34 AM

"oh....." he frowned a bit and looked off.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:36 AM

"Didnt found anything tho...But ehy seems like the smart of the two its you" he giggled

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:38 AM

he sighed for a moment, before changing topics: "That aside, is there anything you'd want to take along tomorrow? Just name it and it's yours."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:40 AM

"Ah- dunno dude i dont really want to steal your stuff after you made me live here for a week" he laughed "And i still have some of the silverwear of the other day

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:41 AM

"It's not stealing. You are my precious guest, the first in 3 years."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:42 AM

Precious? he blushed a bit

"W-Well really, is not really fair, i swer i wolunt steal stuff in the first place if i knew someone lived here"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:44 AM

"It's not stealing..." he repeated, more stern. "please consider the offer for tomorrow. "

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:46 AM

"Ok--" he murmred...ok fair maaaybe he would take some stuff uhuh

"Mhh...what you do here anyway? like, how you dont get bored? I saw a lot of books but dosent get boring to just read?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 8:27 AM

"It does, yes." he sighed. "though in between rampaging and gaining sleep, not a lot of time remains really.... when I'm sick of books or things are too quiet around, I play the piano. sometimes go for a walk around the perimeters, is why most of the grass is dead around here. and during full moon, I like to watch the stars. I can't, otherwise."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:22 PM

"Oh! Yknow i could get you some new books if you want" He murmured.

Mhh seemed like he really looked forward watching the stars then, Narancia hoped the sky was clear tonight

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 4:39 PM

"oh.... err, alright. I'll leave the selecting to you then. but don't trouble yourself, books are rather expensive..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 5:35 PM

He pouted, ignoring him "isnt any book you want? Like dunno a sequel of something that you colunt get in those years??"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:35 AM

Fugo shook his head. "there's nothing I'd want, really....."

He paused, as if hesitating.

".........Sand... a bottle of sand. From the roads you've walked.

I don't care about the stories in books, but.... I'd want to hear your stories. The things you experience along your way.... and I'll remember them whenever I see the bottle.

I still don't know a lot about you, and I understand if you'd rather not tell what things have been like until now, but.....uhm...from here on....err..." realizing how awkward and embarrassing that request was, his voice died down more and more.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:39 AM

"Nh...Hold up got an idea! if i send letters to the merchants they could give it to you every month! So i could tell you how the curse breaking curse its going!" He said happily

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:41 AM

"err... yeah, that could work. " though not quite what he wanted... "It'll be a good practice for your writing too."

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:43 AM

Sorry Fugo, you are stuck with a kitty/golden retriver with a birdy brain.

"Also...If you like see the starts so much; once we find how to uncurse you, we could go to the beach and see them for there!"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:46 AM

sigh. "One step at a time...."

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:47 AM

"Sure! We will try the dome fist then!" he said happily

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:48 AM

He nodded a bit timid, lost in thought.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:51 AM

As the other was thinking, Nara started to pile the empty plates

"Y'know; its been a whole lot since i had a friend, is nice to chat with someone of your own age"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 11:38 PM

"....?" Fugo shook up from his thoughts upon those words.

He didn't quite know how to reply. He'd want to ask if that's really how he saw him, as he couldn't quite believe it. but he didn't want to give him the feeling like he doesn't consider him a friend, or that he doesn't want to or never thought of the possibility.

"err.....yes..... you've had friends before?" seemed safe enough to ask, though there was a small jealous undertone.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 11:42 PM

"Kinda...? When you are a kid and homeless often you and up in those...circles? I guess? Where a bunch of adults use kids to pickpocket people, yknow, one is a bait and the other steal their stuff, and you kinda make friends with the other kids? But the pay is miserable and thr adults have their fun seeing kids fight over a pice of moldy bread, so is a gamble game, a lot of backstabbing...I guess since mom i never had someone that was really close to me"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 11:58 PM

"I see..... I can imagine a lot of people being fond of you, though. you're very open and sociable.

It must have been difficult, but I'm glad you had some people to rely on.....err.... I hope I can be the same, to you..." he muttered the last part, rather awkward.

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:01 AM

"I mean, you saved me from a pack of wolves, im pretty sure that counts" He laughed

"And its ok, could be worst! Mom was with me till i was 10, so when i ended up alone, i was aready too big to be a chimney sweep, so i got lucky! Now that is a horror job"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 12:04 AM

'just happened to be there' was whispered under his breath. though it was quite far from where he'd usually wonder around.... why did he end up going there?

"really? what's it like? and what kind of jobs did you do?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:22 AM

"Oh god, luckly i never did, but basically you have to go inside a chimney with just a brush and a rope, the air is full of cinder  if you dont die crushed inside or burned alive by someone that forget that there is a kid inside, you will die like 5 years later of penomuima"

He laughed but it was a pretty dry laught

"Some of the kids that stole with me did it and they looked aweful.

Me? Mhhh well me and mom used to steal and sometimes we would do-" he stopped "She would do magic tricks in the street while i played the harmonica!" He squeaked "why i never thinked about it??"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 12:27 AM

Fugo's eyebrows shot up. "hoh! how bold! things that could be borderline explained by slide of hand, I take?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:30 AM

"Nhh yeah, but im a dummy that didnt connecter the points! But when did some of the tricks with the birdy i felt like i saw em before!" He giggled

"She would pull out doves from super tiny boxes and do some sick tricks with fires and so on! But never really explained how..." he giggled

"And its dumb because i was right behind her, playing the harmonica and i never saw how she pulled her tricks!"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 10:20 PM

"It's not strange for children to believe in magic, nor to give up on those thoughts once you get older. Though for potents, it's best to start as early as possible...

Being a commoner with magic creates some hardships, so I suppose she didn't want you to worry about it."

[kithtaehyung]

ok, so.

i made a whole set up on my phone to be able to take notes while reading, and my plan was to send an ask with them before gathering my thoughts for a full organized review. but less than halfway through the chapter and i simply wasn't able to write a single thing anymore. i had planned on saying a lot, and as i went through the chapter my mind was spiraling, but by the end i was rendered speechless.

like. really.

everything was so intense, it took me three hours to read the chapter and i went to sleep by 4AM, cus i was like 🧍🏽‍♀️😶 in bed. the kitchen scene? i was so so tense, i had to stop reading several times to collect myself before continuing.

god, and the brother reveal? i loved it.

😮‍💨 i don't know, ryen, i really wanted to say a bunch of stuff because you're writing is ridiculously good. im currently majoring in languages and literature, which means that whenever im reading something i cant help but look for and analyze formal aspects and consciously or not you have an amazing control of discourse. your writing reflects the emotions you're describing in such delicate and sensitive ways, it's absurdly immersive and oh god. im rambling here but yeah.

i talk so much omg, i said i was speechless and this ask is enormous already.

anyway, my point: you're amazing. really one of my favorite authors. ever.

i wanna be your friend 😭

i loved forfeit and i was so so so touched by it. it was nerve-wracking in a delicous way, i cried, i laughed and, although i started trembling, i ended it with a ridiculous smile on my face.

im looking forward to your next ideas and i hope you look forward to my reblog with a decent review, cause it's definitely coming.

also, if you wanna, i can send the few notes i took about the beginning of the chapter, cus i think its funny?? anyway, its just rantings and quoting stuff while sobbing.

LUA BABYYY oh gosh, I should’ve clarified that you don’t have to take notes on first reread and just enjoy it if you wanted😭 looking back, I threw so so much at y’all🥲 that’s my bad.

Damn! 3 hours that really is a long time but you savored the hell out of this🥺 and taking breaks to just stare into the distance?? You literally mirrored my writing process huhuhu like I had to take multiple breaks, sometimes ones that would last a day or two. Because the nitty gritty took all of my brainpower to piece together and navigate.. imagining having all of those thoughts but in the same mind, while keeping in mind what they don’t know about each other.

Like. Be reader and go from Sundress Season straight into seeing Yoongi. There’s no context of Dal Segno so it’s jarring as fck😭 But we have all the Yoongi context too so it was definitely a balance. Hopefully i achieved what I wanted. Super happy about the writing feedback🤕 I was damn nervous about this chapter but this lifted my spirits so damn high. Those are wonderful thoughts and I dread how I’m gonna react seeing your review because I feel like I’m gonna end up a puddle of snot and tears😂🍊 Take your time but I know I’m already gonna read it over and over.

Of course you can send some notes now!! I’d love that actually🥳 Lastly, I’m glad you laughed. There’s angst yes but this is supposed to be a comfort chapter after everything🫂 Talk to me whenever I love making friends here oh gosh.. No need to be shy here at all :D

[metamorphosisme]

Curls hair, puts on makeup, and new dress to pick up my man. Not only does he not acknowledge me at all but as soon as we get home he jumps in the shower then half way threw calls me over. "Me and our daughter are going over ***s house for a bbq idk how many people is gonna be there but there will be kids ectect" after I say ok and a long pause he goes "you can come if you want"... I just said it ok and made up the excuse for taking care or the baby. I just had that gut feeling that he didn't want me there, it sucks, I thought I looked ok even though I gained 5lbs back... I just wanted to feel... alright? ... anyway Then right before I leave he goes "what did you do today?" I said worked, nothing why? He goes "you smell like a dog I keep gagging.".... broke my fucking heart dude... he did ask for a kiss but then left... back for another binge once he was gone... im so fucking sad man and if I show him I'm sad he gets mad it's so ridiculous.

When he gets home I'm sleeping on the couch and I open my eyes, he looks down at me and says "why do you have that fucking face on for already". Like 😭😭 legit all I did was open my eyes.... I just went upstairs away from him he was obviously drinking.. he's been drinking for about 3 or 4 months straight everynight.. only 6 16oz millers but the "only" is me trying to tell myself it's ok because he works.... how am I supposed to tell him to kick something when I can't even cut down my fucking eating... ive gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I legit feel like the fat I can see in my face, and my stomach is puffed out, like I see it and maybe that's why he's being mean to me again.... ha... another thing we were sitting on the couch he ate this peanut butter thing and threw half on a napkin on the table, time goes by so I broke a piece off to try and he looked at me horrified, " just because I didn't eat it doesn't mean I wanted you too"..... you think it would have been a sign...

Idk if he only likes me when I'm skinny because I only like me when I'm skinny but mam screaming sick kids, his bipolar / drinking, + trying to work and running a fucking house and running everywhere the fuck else everyday is tough man... I just wanna be happy so bad. My doctor just puts me on any new medication that's on the market, my therapist said I need a psychiatrist and a nutritionist, the psychiatrist won't call me back and the doctor shit needs to be done in secret because my man doesn't believe in that.... (he went to my doctor for his bipolar and he almost killed himself multiple times from the meds..) I've been debating ozemp or the off brands but I'm seeing A LOT of people having suey thoughts on it, it's like a whole underground thing nobody is talking about and it's not like self ouchy it's like felt so low one day did some crazy shit and is now in a coma... idk man I just don't know... I just ordered elevate from avantera to see if maybe that helps with my compulsions. I don't have add as far as I know because I can take an addi and feel my body pick up... could be wrong but I've always heard if you have add and you take one you get slow so trail and error I don't believe that's my case.. oy idk now im rambling to my damn self.. Hopefully I'll read this later and maybe it will give me the strength to be strong and not give in. Eating helps for a moment like a drug but the reprocussions of it are just foul... oh ha and side note deff the weight plus my sugar cuz I'm back to being in pain.. again omad I'm done I can't go on like this... lol no eating was so easy when I was able to just work and sleep all day haha now add having to make 10 meals a day not for yourself and everyone eating different shit on top of daily stress and cleaning... lol whole shit is wild...