#ok im rambling i need to go to sleep already

[rubberbandgirlme]

mamma mia here i go again with another chapter from my leander thesis 🤓 please accept my humble input on mc's curse, the importance of reading between leander's flirting lines and rss's wonderful storytelling details.

ngl when i finally chose not to touch leander's hand first (can you blame me, i'm weak for that man) i was bewildered at how strikingly different the options in this scene play out, and i, strange as it seems, like this one much better.

first of all, it's a parallel (even if it's not intended, the connection is still there) to the opening scene with a deranged traveler: the touch, the sensations, the (foreshadowed) strangling:

leander is definitely affected by the curse — possessed even, i would say, as if he was being told to strangle mc. notice how his actions line up with the traveler's, only in slo-mo, because leander was fighting to take back the control. and when mc calls out for him, he either snaps out of it or gets to the exact point when he takes a hold of the curse. this brings up a question: could mc's curse be sentient? alter the minds, you say? (more under the cut because it got long)

i've seen people speculating that mc's curse might bestow the enlightment but that's not true: mc was told that (and that's why this origin has me by the throat (pun absolutely intended): imagine living with so much guilt, thinking you were doing good, but in fact driving people mad… mmm tasty). it ties perfectly into every origin path where mc was being lied to, deceived and betrayed. however, there's definitely something more to the curse's nature that's yet to be disclosed.

my favourite moment though!! is this nuanced character storytelling!!

the very hand that was inches away from choking mc to death is quickly disguised as caring and soothing. wonder why? to gain mc's trust (non-verbally), to show that leander's in control, he's strong, he's there for mc, he'll take care of them. of course, leander, being a leander, downplays the whole experience of being possessed/affected by the curse, but he's being honest at once. he doesn't lie to mc — and that's also how he's gaining trust, verbally this time.

one more question that begs to be asked: why the hell all of this doesn't happen if mc touches leander first? it seems that the quality of the touch (😭) also plays an important role here:

leander must have felt the power of the curse, but he wasn't possessed by it, he could control it right away — why? because the touch was fleeting? or because it was mc who was touching him, not the other way round?

now hear me out (i might be wrong on this one, because i can't remember any more examples off the top of my head, but i feel like it's definitely a thing. let me know if something comes up!): we should pay closer attention to how leander says the truth (or half-truth), but it could be understood differently at a flirting angle (it's slightly different from this one, where he covers up his misstep). what i think he means here is that he controls the curse, but it sure is a difficult thing to do. "not due to your power" my ass, his need to look strong and heroic and weak at the same time is ridiculous, someone cure this man (ivolunteer.gif)

one more and last thing that's bothering me (it might play into the previous point btw): if you keep touching him, he tells mc that fissures on their hands match his golden pin. why??????? that's such a dumb thing to flirt about, such a weird comparison. what kind of connection is there? it's so out of place, it definitely means something more. leander spill

[insufferablemod]

.

[goldensunset]

just one semester i'd like to be able to dodge having to sign up for any early morning classes

[ssparksflyy]

hello! can i request jason grace or leo valdez x child of hypnos reader ? (gn) 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

jason grace dating hcs! ٩(ˊ〇ˋ*) ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

pairing: jason grace x child of hypnos!reader warning(s): none!! js fluff :) a/n: i love children of hypnos, u stay sleepy ! also me writing this running off five hours of sleep ( the most ive gotten this week ) yikes..

mr gets up willingly at six am nd his sleepy lover ♡

there are times where u literally have to beg jason to go back to bed cause omfg what r u doing. its six am. no u r not going to go run. no the early bird doesnt get the worm. go. back. to. sleep.

hey nd most times it works cause the thought of holding u close and a sweet sweet dream is enough to get him back in bed

but other times noooo he goes running 🙄

what is bro running from? sleep???

omg but then literally knocks tf out by like nine

one of the times when you had a sleepover planned together

you were running a little late cause ur cabin's ac wasnt working nd everybody was tweaking out

so you had to stay behind and help fix it

by the time you finished and ran over to cabin one , jason was already passed out nd lightly snoring 😭

mind you it was like 9:15 pm

its ok tho u were tired asf too , who knew fixing the ac could be so hard ??

he apologized sm in the morning tho

but u were like its okay el oh el

he cant help it bro he needs his sleep almost as much as he needs you

its better that he falls asleep early than stay up super late tho

cause like when he was helping plan out the new cabins, it was impossible to convince him to go to sleep

he wouldnt stop working nd u were like 😠 fool 😠 go to sleep 😠

nd he was like no thank youuuuu ♡

so you used your powers on him cause he hadNT SLEPT IN DAYS

u were both mad at each other in the morning and things were painfully tense

but you sat down nd talked it out like mature ppl ♡

he srsly hates fighting, he already does it with monsters nd shit so much, he doesnt want to do it w you :(

he apologized for being ignorant and promised he would be better about taking care of himself instead of burying himself in work

you apologized for using your powers on him without saying anything first, and promised you wouldn't do it again ( unless its necessary ) :))

to this day, youve still kept your promises ♡

jason is SUCH a sucker for when you touch his hair

the most relaxing thing everrrrr

i will die on this hill ppl dont play w me

his hair would be soft asf bro

best believe he uses a good conditioner !!

he lets u play w his hair nd do wtv u want with it cause like ~relaxing~

so best believe you have a 0.5 of him with all his hair tied up and looking like a palm tree

0.5s of jason would literally be flawless asf but scary

cause ur like omg by bf is so cute- god DAMN somebody get this man contacts

he looks amazing but THEM EYES

terrifying. staring into ur soul.

theyre cute tho ♡♡

you OBVI have matching pjs

i cannot decide if jason would go to sleep w just pj pants nd no shirt or if would have light blue and white striped pants, a button up shirt, slippers, a cap with a little fuzzy ball at the end, nd a candlestick

jason grace is a SPECTRUM OKAY

but he buys u so many plushies ugh

you own so many jellycats im so jealous

he helps u name them nd their literally ur children like

u have matching build-a-bears !!!

the voice memos are messages u made for each other :(

his to u is a quick ramble about how much he loves u but gets cut off cause he only had 20 seconds ♡♡

nd u get matching outfits for them!!

urs is named 'sleepy' and his is named 'sparky' ♡

i feel like jason gets some real bad nightmares

like yea every demigod does but he gets his more frequently nd their more graphic bcs of what he's seen and gone through :(

most of the time they arent even messages from his dad, theyre just really bad flashbacks of horrible times in his life

but ever since you started spending ur nights together, theyve toned down so much

now he even gets dreams abt your future together sometimes :((

he really wants to tell you about those dreams cause they feel so real but hes scared that youll think its weird or get uncomfortable

little does he know you get those exact same dreams ♡

and on the same nights as he does...

CAUSE UR MEETING IN UR DREAMSSSSSSS

nd thats how ur dad shows his love to you !

zeus doesnt gaf. wtv we dont like him anyway

i mean sometimes hes like erm gtfo my cabin 🤨

but doesn't actually do anything

u literally dont care for anybody's thoughts tho cause you bagged a baddie as sleepy as you ♡

an two: ik i didnt talk abt sleepovers together but like ive got a jason fic called sleepover (thats also gn!) if u wanted to read that :DD but i hoped u enjoyed and have a good day/night!! GO STREAM THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT.

peace from manhattan,

percy jackson ♡

[bloodyinkandquill]

Scythe x Reader semi toxic yuri/canon accurate

if you keep talking that blah blah blah blah💃🕺💃🕺 kesha fucks hard her music is amazing, anyways toxic yuri😍 ok wait a minute note to self please finish this before bed, ok onto tumblr i go for some reason im thinking of banhammer self ship rn so im reading other people’s works on him rq to fulfill my own wants lmao

had a awful mental breakdown, skipped classes, couldn’t sleep until 5:30, didn’t work on this, i’ll work on it next lemme do something else idk man just need motivation

5 days later i think, i dunno man i just need to get this done ok let’s do this, this will probably just be general dating hcs ill be so real not that i won’t write her with a male reader but i hc her as lesbian *shrug*

- ‘She’s the most wanted demon in the Inpherno!’ pretttyy lady… your friends may not understand but it doesn’t really bother you, you love her and that’s all that matters

- Scythe has an almost flirtatious demeanor to her but when it comes to you that’s cranked up to 11, she loves teasing and flustering you, even simple things she changes into an opportunity to flirt, causal conversation where you look away for a moment? You bet your ass she’s grgabbing your face and forcing you to look at her, and with that she sometimes blows cigarette smoke in your face, it’s so attractive but gods it makes you cough, it’s worth it though for her

- She adores dancing with you, sometimes it’s slow and intimate music at home while other times you’re at a saloon absolutely boogie-ing it down, if you didn’t know how to dance you bet your ass she taught you, she’d make fun of you tripping or messing up but it never was that serious just more so playful banter

- Lightly suggestive but she would so slap your ass as you walked by, it doesn’t matter who’s nearby or where your at, she will fully go for it, and then either carry on like nothing happened or crack up, never in between

- She robs bars on occasion and gets the best most fancy and expensive wines to share with you, telling you all about her latest ‘job’ as you sip on wine you’re pretty sure is worth more bux then you’ve ever owned in your life combined, sometimes she has little trays of finger foods with it like bread with cheeses but usually it’s just a table with the two of you drinking the wine as you admire her

- Scythe very much enjoys going into detail about her work with you, from the regular paper work, to offerings, to her kills, if you’re squeamish it’s not your lucky day that incentives her to describe them even more graphically, but if you fully support her and listen intently when she talks about them she’s not as graphic but loves the look in your eye and you listen to her ramble about her ‘assignments’

- Sorry but if you’re going to date her you had to join the Church of the TRUE EYE, let’s be so for real here if she’s legit dating someone they have to be in the church, she said it’s your choice but you knew it wasn’t, if you wants to be with her you had to join, she hooked you up good, a word to the father here, great accommodations there, she was very pleased once you agreed

- Pampers you in a sorta macabre way, brings you the most fancy and beautiful jewelry she got from someone she killed, takes you on a fancy dinner she doesn’t pay for by threatening everyone to kill the entire building, gives you bouquets she made from flowers that reminded her of the colors of her favorite horns she has framed on her walls, once she tried to gift you a pair of horns she thought were very beautiful, you puked, she didn’t try that again

- Her love language is words of affirmation and gift giving, constantly using pet names to compliment you, and we’ve already discussed the gifting

- With the pet names she obviously calls you darling with her hot ass southern accent, she also calls you thinks like hot and sexy, wouldn’t put it past her to call you hot tits I’ll be so real right now, if she did you’d give her the most disappointed look ever and she just doubles over in laughter

- Scythe’s dates are usually really fancy dinners or saloons, quite different but you don’t mind since she’s usually a lot sweeter on your dates, more lovey at fancy restaurants and more protective and touchy at saloons, speaking of no one could lay a finger on you or she will cut that finger off and feed it to them, she can and will murder anyone she views as trying to flirt with you or harass you, it’s sweet in a very messed up way

- Not really a hand hold-y person but she touches you in other ways, an arm around your waist, hand under your chin, leaving lipstick all over your face and neck, it’s usually more intimate touches, maybe if she’s feeling a bit more adventurous that day she’ll use her sharp ass claws to draw a small amount of blood, she just loves the surprised slightly pained face you make

ok finally got this done let’s get this posted i’ll probably head to bed after this, do the firebrand request and do a self indulgent thing of windforce then open back up requests! WILD LIFE SCDIDHKFHSJ (life series, any fans of the life series who read this talk to me please i’m going insane)

[dappersautismcreature]

Hey qblr,

You guys made my 2023 unfathomably better, it cant be calculated where id be if not for this place and this community. Not to get sad but a little over a year ago now, on January 17th, my friend and roommate in college got hit by a car and killed, along with their dog. it was sudden and horrible and i was very quickly super depressed. But soon, the qsmp came along, and you guys did too. Having a community that was consistent, fun, and kind, was exactly what i needed. I won’t go into detail about my mental health this year but lets just say it was bad, but again, having this community to wake up to made everything ok.

I’ve been in the greater mcyt community on tumblr since 2021 but qsmp was when i really started liveblogging and making friends.

Thank you all for actually enjoying my rambles about politics and media, and video essays and qbad and the federation etc etc. Shaking hands with my soulfire comrades, and my starhalo and maxhalo lovers. 

Dont kill me if i forget people i swear i think about every single one of my mutuals every night before i go to sleep (/j)

@skullhalo i have to start with you lim, one of the first mutuals i ever talked to and you have been constantly kind to me, I’m so glad we’re mutuals. Also dude you need to draw more O__o ur art is amazing. See you on qblrsmp >:DD (which you helped create which is so so cool seriously)

@murky-tannin long time no see! I swear i havent been able to see your posts in a long time for some reason. But i miss talking shit with you and you are also one of my oldest mutuals. Thanks for getting me to watch madoka magica lmaoo

@disfrutalakia another one of my oldest mutuals in this fandom, i think you are so cool dude. Loved how you spearheaded the bus ride into purgatory and your constant ideas and creativity! We need to hang out on qblrsmp more

@starry-bugs dude i was so excited when you followed me back you’ve always had such cool posts and i love interacting with you! Based as hell, jaiden poster, 10/10

@constella have to include my oldest mcyt mutual, we’ve been following eachother since the eternalduo trenches lmaoo. i love your foolish posting and being a consistent guy on my dash. Also your art slaps, do more of that pleeease 🥺

@tubborucho and @terezicaptor thank you for being my tubbling informants and making me see how similar we are in terms of mains. You guys were consistently kind, funny, and amazing. I was rooting for your little guy and his egg and his boyfriend.

And , @daddyboyhalo, @flygonydoo, @belovedstilldear, @cheezy-posts, @steelstreqq,

@fitmc , @globiceps , @cellgatinbo

all of you are my family on the qblrsmp and i love love love hanging out with you all. its been a wild month already and you guys are so nice to me. im looking forward to when the server starts back up and where itll take me this summer. <3 rosas

and of course @kingshadows1001 and @rib0mbees and @sinning-moon and bixx, thanks for being my minecraft parents!!

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

oh my , oh my , oh my…

MTF!Jeff the killer x Reader 🙏🏻🙏🏻

-⭐

Summary: MTF (Male to Female) Jeff x Reader headcanons

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Little mentions of transphobia and being confused about gender, the cover picture can be a little creepy if you have a thing about lots of limbs in one place, brief mention of psychosis and jeff kind of not having an understanding of it

A/n: MTF JEFF MY BELOVED. Also, I will be referring to Jeff with she/her pronouns throughout the entire work just to avoid confusion

Credits: Jeff the killer- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Picture- Pinterest

MTF!Jeff the killer x Reader

As im sure we can all guess, Jeff didn't have the best support system growing up

The kids barely had their basic survival needs met, let alone had the freedom to question things like gender and sexuality

But after living with Slender for most of her life, jeff gets the chance to explore who she is as a person for the first time

She had been feeling dysphoria her entire life with her body, but she just considered it to be another symptom of whatever caused her psychotic break during the 'incident'

She never even considered the possibility that she might be trans until seeing others describe their experiences

It is only then that she realized a lot of what she was experiencing wasn't psychosis, but was instead gender dysphoria

And the realization kind of makes things worse

She's already in a relationship with you, and what if you leave her because you wanted a man? Not to mention what her friends might think, and what if no one takes her seriously? What if she gets made fun of?

All of these emotions swell up in her, and she refuses to talk to anyone about it

Until eventually she's just in a rage, punching walls and yelling at people, even beating anyone who gets too close up

She eventually storms off to her room and you give her a second to just chill out

After a while, you go up there too

She is laid down on her bed, seemingly trying to sleep

You sit next to her, careful not to touch her (She hates being touched when she's angry) "What was all that about?" you ask in a worried tone

She doesn't respond, she'd honestly rather die than tell you what's been going on

You sit in silence for a second before talking again "You know you can tell me anything. I promise it won't make me love you any less"

She still doesn't say anything, which leads to you sighing and leaving the room

A few days later you two had gotten wrapped up in a conversation about trans people and your opinions on the subject

"Would you ever date a trans person?" She asks

You place a finger on your chin, thinking for a moment before saying "I like to think I'd be open to it. Why, are you trans?" You add that last part as a joke, but quickly begin to question whether it was a joke

Her breath hitches and she quickly looks away from you, not sharing the laugh that you do

You quiet down and it is silent for a while, no one dares to speak

"....Jeff, a-are you trans?"

"I don't wanna talk about it" She says, quickly standing up and leaving the room

You try to get up and chase after her, but by the time you look into the hallway, she's gone

Being together after that is very awkward, and you see that she obviously doesn't want to talk much on it so you decide to keep your questions short and sweet

"Does anyone else know?" You ask, both of you not looking at each other

"No, and I don't want them to." She responds

"Do you have another name you want me to call you?"

"....Jeff is fine."

You smile and finally look at her "Ok" you press a quick kiss to her cheek before rambling about your day, quickly making both of you forget all about the previous topic

She is very shy when it comes to actually coming out, and she obviously doesn't change much, so you decide to just take things slow

Idk if she'd ever want to medically transition, because despite hating her body she also has those moments where she's like "I'm literally god no one else could ever look this good"

And as for the name, she doesn't really see a reason to change it, she likes being called Jeff

[blessed-pizza]

For the oc asks, 1, 20, and 30!

"Huh? We have mail?" (How long has this been sitting here... whoops hehe)

"Let's see..." "A couple questions huh... Sure why not."

1: Do they sleep with a stuffed animal? If they have multiple, who’s the favorite?

"As far as i know, the only one to sleep with plushies is Ace, she has a Latias and a Latios plushie. She seems to adore them both equally, as far as i can tell. And, well... I have to admit, I'm kind of jealous."

"I'd love to have a plushie as well, though, with my size, most of them would probably be bigger than myself"

"Also, well... Im not sure if it counts, but Rose always sleeps with her hammer"

"It helps with my sleeping posture, OK?!"

"yeah, sure..."

20: What do they like that nobody else does?

"I think I saw Cotton eat a whole tomato berry once, like.. just raw... Ate the whole thing in three big bites, she didn't even break a sweat or anything... (She kinda scares me sometimes)"

"They're really good for your health, you know?"

"You should try one! Maybe you'll like it more than you think."

"I think I'll pass."

"Dude, you have no right to talk. You eat electricity."

"That's... THAT'S DIFFERENT! Besides, I don't eat it, I use it to recharge. I don't produce enough on my own to properly recharge, so I need an external source to help."

"What about Frillian then? He uses the sun to recharge, why isn't that weird?"

"Cus a lot of pokemon do that. It's called photosynthesis."

"First of all, that's not the same as photosynthesis. Secondly, a lot of other electric types also need outside sources to recharge their electricity."

"At least they don't ramble on about 'what battery tastes the best' for an hour."

"That wasn't about tas... Urghh.. Never mind"

30: What would they do if they knew it would be forgiven?

"I'm... I'm not.. sure.." "I.. I can't really think of doing anything that would normally be unforgivable..." "I... don't think i could bring myself to do something so bad.."

"Uhh.. Amp? I... I think you might be looking a bit to deep into this one."

"You know what I'll do?"

"I'll take all the blast seeds we've collected over time, stuff them into some kind of closed container, take it outside and light m' up!"

"I'm curious how big of a fireball it would create."

"Hehe... Yeah... Yeah, that does sound kind of fun..."

"What about you, Bouy?"

"Hmm... I think I'll take one of my dad's atlases with me back here. I'm wouldn't be allowed to take them under normal circumstances, because they take my dad a ton of work to make."

"I'd love to have one, one day."

"Hatchet, Ace? you got anything?"

"I'll eat all the perfect appels in the pantry!"

"Yeah! And the Pecha berries. Those are my favourites!"

"As if the two of you don't already do that... Anyway, what I'll do is to just take a break for couple of days. With all the work I have to do, I can barely take a day of."

"Trying to keep track of the stock, keeping the bedrooms clean, filling in orders for resources and plenty more, all the while there are two literal teenagers running around... isn't the most relaxing experience."

"Even the weekends used to quite busy. Though a lot of the load has been lifted of my back since Amp and Rose joined. They help around with most physical tasks and while I share the paperwork with Frillian, most of it still ends up on my desk..."

"Well... Planning and preparing for expeditions takes quite a lot of time and resources, especially the maps. Dang those things are expensive.. And I haven't even started on the... Oh, yeah, right... the question."

"Well.. how much I'd love to take a couple days off like Cotton, I don't think forgiveness is going to be enough. Running an exploration team isn't really free, you see... How much I've loved it to be. So, yeah... I guess I'll be joining in to watch Rose's blast seed pile."

[prestonmonterey]

TLT UPDATE!! BEFORE I GO TO BED

(gods im so tired...)

@vincentaureliuslin @tatsumisheep3

no photos today so heres my cat :P

OPENING NIGHT!!! it went super well!!!!! (i think)

it was PA night so the understudys were percy and annabeth and they killed it!!!!!! :DDDD

also my director gave me a compliment today so im in a good mood (it was somethin along the lines of "you finally did a good job as cerberus" but ill take what i can get...) (i still have beef with him but.. whatever....)

its crazy how fast this show is going and that itll all be over after sunday,, but also i am SO tired bc we literally spend more time at school than at home this week :(

also getting a lotta acne bc im not used to wearing this much make up every day :P

but hey at least ill get to rest a teeny bit on the weekend (just in the morning TwT bc we have matinees)

also my parents and some of my friends are comin tomorrow so they BETTER FUCKIN BUY ME CANDY (i really really really want candygrams... one of the stage managers got like 4 boxes of candy i am so jealous...)

also also also we did the legacy robe last night before preview night and my friend (and mother /ij) got it :DDDD very happy for her

um um um i felt like i had more to say but idk this is already a lot and i cant remember things im kinda tired :P

oh i finally got my camper necklace!!! the beads were missing for like a week but they were just on the table in the costuming room... anyway my friend made it for me during tech class bc shes so so sooo sweet <3 (while i was in math trying to force my friend to study... *stares at neeks* /aff) i got four beads that kinda almost make the ace flag!! (black for tech, silver for the fall play, light blue for this show, and purple for my grade)

idk if i explained it before but all of our necklaces represent how much theater we've done,,, bc its kinda like how long we've been at camp. theres a bead for each grade based on our class colors, and the tlt bead, so everyone gets at least 2. theres also beads for each of the past musicals and plays at school, and a black bead if youve done tech, and a white bead if youve done leadership :D some of the seniors have like most of their necklace filled because of how many shows theyve done

heres another cat pic to keep you engaged and reading this /hj

also also also many many thanks to my wonderful actor and tech friends i would not survive without them (especially thanks to tech bc they have to put up with us actors... /hj) its poseidon's actors first show i think and they have a LOT of quick changes so their section of the rack is,,, kind of a mess. also the lamp for the oracle scene has broken multiple times i think already... and i already left my make up bag out yesterday and my watch in the cubbies today TwT we are a hot mess

my graphic design teacher was acting today :D (the farmer in drive is a teacher role, and they switch out every night) and i love him being so absolutely perplexed by the energy circle before show :333

also i remembered to put setting powder on for the first time,,, and... i forgot that my mom is SO much paler than me TwT (i was very washed out...) so ill probably stick to spray for the rest of the week :P

sorry i really am rambling tonight...

ok i will probably hopefully do at least one more update after strike on sunday!! (depending on how tired i am,, i might just curl up on the floor and sleep after the sunday show actually...) unless something goes horribly wrong,,, then ill probably post about it too

good night!! i need to collapse in bed and try to save up enough energy for tomorrows show :3

have a wonderful day/night and remember to hydrate! (or you'll die straight...)

[whatthehelltony]

could be doing anything else right now but I’m sitting in bed with all the windows open writing text post for tumblr and freezing my ass off. My pants are too big for me and it’s making me so mad and I want to make something but idk what and it’s so messy in here and I need to clean and I feel sick so maybe i should close the windows and maybe I should eat something other than sugar and caffeine and maybe I should make lunch but it’s too late so I’ll just wait til dinner cause everyone knows calories don’t count after dark which is maybe my problem and my throat hurts and I’m cold and I want to talk to someone but instead I’m here rambling to no one and I hope that I remember to delete this before anyone I know sees it but I probably won’t and I feel like I’m wasting time but I can’t stop and I just want to do something but idk what I and I just want to build something but it seems like maybe right now I have to do nothing because the only other thing I can do is destroy and talk to much and maybe I should sleep well tonight but I’ve already decided I won’t until my giant painting has a sky and I know that i cannot move the dresser til after dark and I need to hide my energy drinks cause people are coming over and might want to sit on the closet couch and I also need to move my sewing stuff and the dress I started and of course never finished because if I don’t do it all at once it won’t get done like the book my girlfriend gave me that I had to force myself to read in one sitting cause i knew I wouldn’t otherwise and why is it is a struggle to do things I want to do and why can’t I type and the music is too loud in my earbuds but it needs to be loud and I can’t type and I feel like I’m going deaf and maybe I’m going blind cause my eyes are always blurry now and maybe I should drink some water cause otherwise I’m gonna die at practice and maybe I should eat something but I ate a cookie at midnight last night and my mom isn’t home to tell me to eat and why am I complaining cause I eat dinner and I eat and I don’t have a problem and I’m itching but I know the thing that will make it stop will be too obvious and the last thing I want is for people to know anything and I wanna go home but I’m sitting in bed with the windows open and I am home and it’s cold but the sun is shining and my heart is beating too fast and maybe it’s the caffeine or the adrenaline from talking too much or maybe it’s my heart and I’m going to die and maybe I should close the window and put a period in my writing so that people can actually read it but maybe I’m making it unreadable in purpose so that no one reads it and maybe I could not post this but we both know I have to because I can’t text my girlfriend and even if I could I know I wouldn’t say anything cause she’s got it way worse and I’m actually good so idk what I’m doing here and why I’m typing and there’s a notes app for a reason but it just isn’t the same and I need to stop and I need to put a period somewhere but it’s too bright and my eyes are blurry but I won’t sleep til tomorrow and I need to shut up but my head hurts and maybe this will make it feel better but now I have to go because people are coming over and I need to clean and I keep forgetting things and maybe I’m crazy but people who are actually crazy don’t think they’re crazy so im ok and I won’t put a period because fuck

[autisticempathydaemon]

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ by Noah Kahan, I know these songs are kinda trending rn or at least they are on my fyp lmao. But I absolutely am obsessed with this song. So many of the lyrics are superrr relatable to me but I really love the lyric, “You’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” isbwieneo it’s so personal to me fr fr.

What is your Enneagram type?

9w1 :)

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

ok, ok, so. my imaginary friend was a girl with red hair. She was a little shorter than I was and I can’t remember if I had a name for her or not. She’d always match what I was wearing and we would play with my Polly Pockets all the timeee. Since I have a sibling I would more so play with them but my imaginary friend came to visit sometimes. She was really sweet. More outspoken than I was…if an imaginary friend can be outspoken.. She definitely had more confidence than I did.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’d change my name to Drew, I just feel like my name is so basic. My dad always said if my parents had a boy they would’ve named him Andrew. And while i’m comfy with my gender I’d still love to change my name. It seems easier to change it to something that my parents already kinda considered.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

While I love all of them. I think my favorite is ‘Comforted by an Arrogant Incubus’ it was the first audio of Erik’s that made me feel safe. I think it was the first audio I cried too tbh. I just love it so much. I also feel like my mutuals will be shocked that I didn’t pick a different audio.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

…I love him so much, and i’m saying this because i’m like him. And it scares me how alike we are sometimes. But Guy… I LOVE GUY!! Please don’t get me wrong. I just don’t understand the hype. I’m also a lot like him so that might be the reason…I don’t think i’m all that so maybe my feelings towards myself translate to him. But do I listen to everyone of his audios? Yes. Do I enjoy them? Also yes.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ I KNOW EVERY WORD!!! Every single one. I had a marvel obsession and let me tell ya. You turn on that movie and no one will see me blink for the full duration of the movie. I won’t move from my seat. This movie has a chokehold on me fr fr

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

I really had to think about this one. Would I date this person? Yes. Do I think it would go well…Maybe, but i’d rather be friends. But Im picking Sam!!!! I feel like he’s the dad friend and I need that in my life. He’s the guy that i’m calling if my car breaks down or if I do. He’d let me come bother him at all hours of the day while also forcing me to take care of myself when I busy with college. I love him so so so much and want to be his bestie so badly.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

I start to ramble about how not tired I am. Like i’ll be actively falling asleep and will be telling the person i’m having a convo with that i’m not tired and i’m not going to bed. Only to be asleep thirty (30) seconds later. I also get really cuddly when i’m drifting off and normally Im not that cuddly cause of how warm I am.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

White cheddar popcorn, those chewy smarties ropes, and a coca-cola icee. it slaps fr

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

It’s a playlist that my best friend made when we took a twenty (20) hour round trip, road trip. It’s twelve (12) hours long and i’m obsessed with it. We had so many great unhinged moments during that drive. We still text about them to this day and the road-trip was last year lmao. We were slightly crazy to drive that much in a 36 hour span but it was worth it. We’ve got memories that we will talk about for the rest of our lives.

Extra info:

I’m the baby of my family, I’m going into healthcare, I love turtles (like kind of an obsession), i’m touch starved to the max but won’t do anything to fix it, I have a weighted dino and a weighted blanket that I sleep with. If I don’t have those I will explode. Oh, and I have a fear of sleepovers. So…yeah… :).

Thank you so much for doing this!!! It really made me think about myself which was fun! I hope you are having an awesome day!!

Hmmm, this one really had me percolating over the Redactedness brackets. In the end, it’s something about your Enneagram type that really settles me with Milo as your match.

9w1s are known as the Dreamers, characterized by this optimistic and unshakable sense of justice and a sense of responsibility to uphold it, to do what’s right. This seems supported by your goals of working in medicine/healthcare. That’s hella Sweetheart-coded which makes you a perfect fit for Milo. (Also, Milo is totally a momma’s boy, and I think he’d be so delighted to be with someone who works in health/healing like Marie. Like, not in a weird way, but it’d probably feel very familiar and loving to him.)

Also, Milo, like most shifters, is the perfect boyfriend for touchstarved babes who needed weighted things to sleep. We’ve all heard his “Comforted by-” audio; we all know he would give the best head scratches, and that’s not even mentioning what a fantastic weighted blanket/animal he would make in his wolf form. You’d be so sweet together: him with his cat, you with your turtle(s), those cats and turtles and their playfully antagonistic relationship. I can very much imagine Aggro being a dick to some turtles in a fun, cartoon, Tom & Jerry way.

Song:

You know I'll treat you right/ We'll dance through the morning while everyone's sleeping/ And if you get too tired/ Just rest your lips on mine/ Lovers don't have to just kiss in the evening/ I think we danced last night till three in the morning

One of my favorite fandom headcanons is that Milo loves old-school, classic love songs of the crooning, swing dancing variety; I think it’s some combination of his accent, rakish charm, and confidence. I could easily imagine this playing through your house in the evenings, those twilight hours between night and day, between asleep and awake, when you are sleepy enough to let him lead you through a dance.

Runner-ups:

Geordi, I love for you because I think he’s an unashamed Marvel fanboy, and I love pairing nerds together; y’all deserve it. Personally, I think he’s a Spiderman fan, and y’all could have some very fun debates about Team Captain America versus Team Iron Man. Elliott would be a cute runner-up because I think it’d be sweet to put two babies of the family together- like, your energies would match- and you two could have a fun college meet-cute; that setting would really suit him.

note: thank you for waiting so patiently~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[pepprs]

ok mutuals. so we’ve established that i am extremely mentally ill about my job due to fomo and projection issues 🤪😻✨so i rarely let myself turn things down or take breaks or whatever. but im trying to be better about that and in the last couple of weeks like.. i took 2 days off last week and will take another one tomorrow and yesterday i started getting cr*mps so i pulled out of facilitating the orientation sessions bc i was like im in pain and this is one too many things and like.. if it sucks hit da bricks yk. but last night i got my p*riod and i didn’t sleep well and i feel so lightheaded and my cramps are horrible now… and it’s like. literally the only thing i have to do on campus today is orientation which is a nightmare anyway. so maybe i should skip it again and work from home today bc i NEVER let myself do that anymore bc im afraid to miss anything in the office (and also i don’t take anything like pain meds bc my family is insane 🤪 so i would be going thru cramps relying only on my heating pad and i do have one in the office but it’s obviously not the smae thing as like lying down with it and also if i do orientation then im flying solo for 2 hours ON MY FEET the whole time and this time id have to walk around a lot more bc of some of the changes we made). but then im like well ive come to work w worse cramps before and also i feel bad leaving my one colleague bestie alone in the office todsy (the other one is on vacation) esp bc im already taking another day off tomorrow. but then it’s like.. well i shouldn’t worry abt that i need to do what feels good for me. so idk that was kinda rambling and i was going to ask if u think i should stay home but i think typing that out… i am going to.

[purplecraze]

Beauty and the Beast AU 12

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:44 PM

"Oh i see..." he murmured

"So the merchants come here just once in a month?"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:44 PM

He nods. "yes..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:45 PM

"Mh..."

He took another bite

"You think they manage to come in time even with the snow? It dosent snow often here"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:47 PM

"They won't come up until the castle walls. There's a checkpoint I can see from here where they drop it off. I can easily retrieve it from there with magic."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:49 PM

"I see...Nh..." He looked off

"You think you will be fine tomorrow? Would be shitty if i go to some epic quest to uncurse you and then you die of fever as soon im gone" he smirked

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:50 PM

"..........."

If he'd say no, what then? He can't expect the boy to stay for another month, it's unreasonable, and too risky... He couldn't...

"I'll be just fine. I've lived through worse."

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:52 PM

"Oh ok--" He murmured

Oh Narancia chill, he told you more than once he likes to being alone; also you are basically a pest right now that is living in his house rent free. Also you need to focus on how to fix the curse, no time to loose

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:53 PM

well, he only told you once. and he was lying....

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:54 PM

He got kicked out when he was 6, he has some issues ok?

Narancia finished to eat and looked outside the window

"...Can you show me how you make the birdy? I read something about it in the book but i want to see"

purplecraze — 08/29/2021 11:57 PM

"............" Fugo drank the orange juice, slowly, wanting to enjoy it.

"Sure, that's fine......" he weaved his hand in a certain way and a bird showed sitting on top of his fingers.

orange-plane-boy — 08/29/2021 11:58 PM

"Ah?? Just like that??" He said looking at the bird

"Why you picked a swallow?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:00 AM

He flicked his fingers twice and it flew off to nestle in Narancia's hair. "I can do various small creatures. But it's what you reminded me off."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:00 AM

"Oh??" He giggled

"Thats why? Really?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:01 AM

He nodded. Though he didn't add in what that implied and how it symbolized freedom and such.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:04 AM

"Thats funny because i really like birds!" He giggled

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:04 AM

"That so? why?"

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:08 AM

"I just think they are neat! I mean they can fly, and thats aready a bonus, but they are also more smart than people think of! Tou know that crows can recognize faces? And if you hurt one they will tell about you to his family and so they will avoid you...or try to peak your eyes, depeends how close you are to the nest- also they can play with eachother and if trained they can even lean how to use sicks to grab objet to far!"

No planes? Bird nerd then

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:10 AM

Fugo properly heard him out as the boy rambled about his obsession. the bird hopped on his shoulder and started changing form as it crawled down, until it curled up as a cat on his lap.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:12 AM

He gasped

"A kitty!!"

He petted the animal, and also showed how easly was to catch his attention...

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:13 AM

Fugo chuckled, noticing how easily the other was distracted. the cat purred content.

"...........err..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:14 AM

"Mh?" he asked as he played with the toebeans of the cats

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:14 AM

"........" he looked off. "You don't have to stay in the room tonight.. just so you know..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:16 AM

"Oh cool!" He nodded

Too bad most of the times he got out was to see what fugo was doing as a  monster...

"You should catch up some sleep tonight tho"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:17 AM

he laughed a bit. "My sleeping pattern is a mess already, so I doubt I can......

uhm.......can you-......... will you s-...stay with me? Tonight?" he didn't look at him.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:18 AM

"Oh- Yeah why not?" He smiled "What you want to do?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:20 AM

"uh....." seems like he had no plan what so ever.

'uhm...err....the..the stars are-...you can see the stars well from the tower.. if you'd like.."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:22 AM

awkard...and cute

"Sure!" He smiled nodding "Then, rest a bit for now, and dont worry about the mess, you sounded chill tonight so i can fix on my own if you broke something!"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:23 AM

he shook his head. "It's a small effort, really..... you'd want to see the dome again, I'm sure."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:23 AM

He giggled "Mh...Maybe i do" he admitted "You sure you dont want to try go in?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:24 AM

"............" he closed his eyes. "......mm...... maybe tonight..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:29 AM

"Yay!" He smiled "You sure will be better than me at figure out what to do"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:33 AM

"....? figuring out what?"

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:34 AM

"Dunno, i was looking if mom left something there that maybe could help.."

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:34 AM

"oh....." he frowned a bit and looked off.

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:36 AM

"Didnt found anything tho...But ehy seems like the smart of the two its you" he giggled

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:38 AM

he sighed for a moment, before changing topics: "That aside, is there anything you'd want to take along tomorrow? Just name it and it's yours."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:40 AM

"Ah- dunno dude i dont really want to steal your stuff after you made me live here for a week" he laughed "And i still have some of the silverwear of the other day

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:41 AM

"It's not stealing. You are my precious guest, the first in 3 years."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:42 AM

Precious? he blushed a bit

"W-Well really, is not really fair, i swer i wolunt steal stuff in the first place if i knew someone lived here"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 12:44 AM

"It's not stealing..." he repeated, more stern. "please consider the offer for tomorrow. "

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:46 AM

"Ok--" he murmred...ok fair maaaybe he would take some stuff uhuh

"Mhh...what you do here anyway? like, how you dont get bored? I saw a lot of books but dosent get boring to just read?"

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 8:27 AM

"It does, yes." he sighed. "though in between rampaging and gaining sleep, not a lot of time remains really.... when I'm sick of books or things are too quiet around, I play the piano. sometimes go for a walk around the perimeters, is why most of the grass is dead around here. and during full moon, I like to watch the stars. I can't, otherwise."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 12:22 PM

"Oh! Yknow i could get you some new books if you want" He murmured.

Mhh seemed like he really looked forward watching the stars then, Narancia hoped the sky was clear tonight

purplecraze — 08/30/2021 4:39 PM

"oh.... err, alright. I'll leave the selecting to you then. but don't trouble yourself, books are rather expensive..."

orange-plane-boy — 08/30/2021 5:35 PM

He pouted, ignoring him "isnt any book you want? Like dunno a sequel of something that you colunt get in those years??"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:35 AM

Fugo shook his head. "there's nothing I'd want, really....."

He paused, as if hesitating.

".........Sand... a bottle of sand. From the roads you've walked.

I don't care about the stories in books, but.... I'd want to hear your stories. The things you experience along your way.... and I'll remember them whenever I see the bottle.

I still don't know a lot about you, and I understand if you'd rather not tell what things have been like until now, but.....uhm...from here on....err..." realizing how awkward and embarrassing that request was, his voice died down more and more.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:39 AM

"Nh...Hold up got an idea! if i send letters to the merchants they could give it to you every month! So i could tell you how the curse breaking curse its going!" He said happily

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:41 AM

"err... yeah, that could work. " though not quite what he wanted... "It'll be a good practice for your writing too."

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:43 AM

Sorry Fugo, you are stuck with a kitty/golden retriver with a birdy brain.

"Also...If you like see the starts so much; once we find how to uncurse you, we could go to the beach and see them for there!"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:46 AM

sigh. "One step at a time...."

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:47 AM

"Sure! We will try the dome fist then!" he said happily

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 12:48 AM

He nodded a bit timid, lost in thought.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 12:51 AM

As the other was thinking, Nara started to pile the empty plates

"Y'know; its been a whole lot since i had a friend, is nice to chat with someone of your own age"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 11:38 PM

"....?" Fugo shook up from his thoughts upon those words.

He didn't quite know how to reply. He'd want to ask if that's really how he saw him, as he couldn't quite believe it. but he didn't want to give him the feeling like he doesn't consider him a friend, or that he doesn't want to or never thought of the possibility.

"err.....yes..... you've had friends before?" seemed safe enough to ask, though there was a small jealous undertone.

orange-plane-boy — 08/31/2021 11:42 PM

"Kinda...? When you are a kid and homeless often you and up in those...circles? I guess? Where a bunch of adults use kids to pickpocket people, yknow, one is a bait and the other steal their stuff, and you kinda make friends with the other kids? But the pay is miserable and thr adults have their fun seeing kids fight over a pice of moldy bread, so is a gamble game, a lot of backstabbing...I guess since mom i never had someone that was really close to me"

purplecraze — 08/31/2021 11:58 PM

"I see..... I can imagine a lot of people being fond of you, though. you're very open and sociable.

It must have been difficult, but I'm glad you had some people to rely on.....err.... I hope I can be the same, to you..." he muttered the last part, rather awkward.

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:01 AM

"I mean, you saved me from a pack of wolves, im pretty sure that counts" He laughed

"And its ok, could be worst! Mom was with me till i was 10, so when i ended up alone, i was aready too big to be a chimney sweep, so i got lucky! Now that is a horror job"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 12:04 AM

'just happened to be there' was whispered under his breath. though it was quite far from where he'd usually wonder around.... why did he end up going there?

"really? what's it like? and what kind of jobs did you do?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:22 AM

"Oh god, luckly i never did, but basically you have to go inside a chimney with just a brush and a rope, the air is full of cinder  if you dont die crushed inside or burned alive by someone that forget that there is a kid inside, you will die like 5 years later of penomuima"

He laughed but it was a pretty dry laught

"Some of the kids that stole with me did it and they looked aweful.

Me? Mhhh well me and mom used to steal and sometimes we would do-" he stopped "She would do magic tricks in the street while i played the harmonica!" He squeaked "why i never thinked about it??"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 12:27 AM

Fugo's eyebrows shot up. "hoh! how bold! things that could be borderline explained by slide of hand, I take?"

orange-plane-boy — 09/01/2021 12:30 AM

"Nhh yeah, but im a dummy that didnt connecter the points! But when did some of the tricks with the birdy i felt like i saw em before!" He giggled

"She would pull out doves from super tiny boxes and do some sick tricks with fires and so on! But never really explained how..." he giggled

"And its dumb because i was right behind her, playing the harmonica and i never saw how she pulled her tricks!"

purplecraze — 09/01/2021 10:20 PM

"It's not strange for children to believe in magic, nor to give up on those thoughts once you get older. Though for potents, it's best to start as early as possible...

Being a commoner with magic creates some hardships, so I suppose she didn't want you to worry about it."

[skyburger]

ok sorry this post will be in green text because i set my tumblr to dark mode but the app just kind of sucks and doesnt work because i never update it anyway everythibg reads fine but in the post editor the text is the exact same color as the background unless i change it to another color (like green for instamce). thsts why i have it set to light mode usually but its dark in hereee and im tireddd but i had something to say anyway that probably took longer tp say than my actual point. my actual point or not even a point just a think i thunk. Ok so im watching markipliers fnaf3 revisit i put it on to fall asleep to theyre good background noise for me. but yeah im watching that rn and i got reminded of my really minor fnaf headcanon that phone dude is just phone guys son. like i dont have any reason for this beyond its fun but why would i need another reason tbf! also kind of fucked up to think that w/ this hc PD (phone dude) found those old training cassettes PG (phone guy) did and is like yoooo sick as hell like he just doesnt know hes related 2 that dude. i dont think thats dramatic enough to be dramatic irony but not ironic enough to be just irony on its own and im not letting myself look this up bevause i Wil get more distracted than i already have. u know wat i mean hopefully. oh also other small thought i thinked (and i think every time i listen to the night 2 phone call( is that its really funny to hear scott cawthon voice phone dude and say the cassettes they found are "like, prehistoric, dude!" even though hes definitely old enough to have used cassettes LOL i just always think like. Man is that how he imagines kids these days (im lacking better phrasing rn soz) because the worst part is thsts pretty accurate. he did a ver good job playing this younger dude (i dont have an adjective to describe pd other yhan like hes a very dude-y dude) does this make sense i feel like im phrasing this terribly. im not trying to sound mean to people over the age of like forty i swear my point is just like so often if anyone older tries to act like this it comes off as very How do you do fellow kids like do u know ehst j mean. im not saying mr. cawthons like less than ten minutes of phone dude dialogue is the pinnacle of this im just saying its simple amd fun and works 2 me. i like phone guy i think most every fnaf fan likes him but i like phone dude a lot also possibly a little more. my guy didnt do shit besides letting springtrap loose like bro was just really invested in his deprecated fazbear haunted house place hes not up on all the lore... i wonder what he did after fnaf3 maybe hes in like a travelling scary circus(???) and/or a spirit halloween employee. probably like a reddit mod but i dont mean yhat meanly i just think hes moderating a kinda small sub for some nicher horror thing hes just chilling dude. maybe hes a youtuber for like tech disassembly modding whatever. i think he has a modded nintendo wii maybe he really likes mario kart who knows. ick whzt im on about now im tired as fuckkkk but my last thinked think was just i like 2 think pg's name is scott for obvious reasons but i like yo think pd, in my headcanon where hes pg's son, is slso cslled scott hes scott jr. hea definitely called scotty though as a nickname bro is suchhh a scotty it fits him dontcha think... anyway im strucvling to stay swake to ramble but i love to ramble to stay awake its some paradox shit (mot really) but yrs my point was im going 2 sleep now goodnight FORVER'!!!!!!!! or juzt until i wake up tomorroaw. baiiiiii

[metamorphosisme]

Curls hair, puts on makeup, and new dress to pick up my man. Not only does he not acknowledge me at all but as soon as we get home he jumps in the shower then half way threw calls me over. "Me and our daughter are going over ***s house for a bbq idk how many people is gonna be there but there will be kids ectect" after I say ok and a long pause he goes "you can come if you want"... I just said it ok and made up the excuse for taking care or the baby. I just had that gut feeling that he didn't want me there, it sucks, I thought I looked ok even though I gained 5lbs back... I just wanted to feel... alright? ... anyway Then right before I leave he goes "what did you do today?" I said worked, nothing why? He goes "you smell like a dog I keep gagging.".... broke my fucking heart dude... he did ask for a kiss but then left... back for another binge once he was gone... im so fucking sad man and if I show him I'm sad he gets mad it's so ridiculous.

When he gets home I'm sleeping on the couch and I open my eyes, he looks down at me and says "why do you have that fucking face on for already". Like 😭😭 legit all I did was open my eyes.... I just went upstairs away from him he was obviously drinking.. he's been drinking for about 3 or 4 months straight everynight.. only 6 16oz millers but the "only" is me trying to tell myself it's ok because he works.... how am I supposed to tell him to kick something when I can't even cut down my fucking eating... ive gained 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I legit feel like the fat I can see in my face, and my stomach is puffed out, like I see it and maybe that's why he's being mean to me again.... ha... another thing we were sitting on the couch he ate this peanut butter thing and threw half on a napkin on the table, time goes by so I broke a piece off to try and he looked at me horrified, " just because I didn't eat it doesn't mean I wanted you too"..... you think it would have been a sign...

Idk if he only likes me when I'm skinny because I only like me when I'm skinny but mam screaming sick kids, his bipolar / drinking, + trying to work and running a fucking house and running everywhere the fuck else everyday is tough man... I just wanna be happy so bad. My doctor just puts me on any new medication that's on the market, my therapist said I need a psychiatrist and a nutritionist, the psychiatrist won't call me back and the doctor shit needs to be done in secret because my man doesn't believe in that.... (he went to my doctor for his bipolar and he almost killed himself multiple times from the meds..) I've been debating ozemp or the off brands but I'm seeing A LOT of people having suey thoughts on it, it's like a whole underground thing nobody is talking about and it's not like self ouchy it's like felt so low one day did some crazy shit and is now in a coma... idk man I just don't know... I just ordered elevate from avantera to see if maybe that helps with my compulsions. I don't have add as far as I know because I can take an addi and feel my body pick up... could be wrong but I've always heard if you have add and you take one you get slow so trail and error I don't believe that's my case.. oy idk now im rambling to my damn self.. Hopefully I'll read this later and maybe it will give me the strength to be strong and not give in. Eating helps for a moment like a drug but the reprocussions of it are just foul... oh ha and side note deff the weight plus my sugar cuz I'm back to being in pain.. again omad I'm done I can't go on like this... lol no eating was so easy when I was able to just work and sleep all day haha now add having to make 10 meals a day not for yourself and everyone eating different shit on top of daily stress and cleaning... lol whole shit is wild...

[sadability]

hello!! i was scrolling thru the obey me tag & I saw that ur avail w matchups rn so i'd like to have an obey me match up! ^^

i checked ur profile & i dont think u specified on what info we should write of ourselves so pls don't mind if my format is gonna b rly messy ;_; (lmk tho if u did put some specific template or format on what we should write in ur match ups!)

I'm from asia, height is 164 cm/5'4 ft, im still a student but i do side hustles sometimes, for my age i prefer if u don't rlly count it in the match up since yk the characters in om are like all ancient lmfao so age will definitely already have a big gap but just in case u need it im turning 18 this dec:)

so anw my mbti is IDK im honestly confused but I think mbti/cognitive functions are interesting. im a sagittarius ♐. i like to think that im an ambivert, but at first i may definitely come off as shy reserved to others, but friendly to to others tbh it depends if I find them approachable/scary or not. my hobbies are reading, writing, sing & dance (but I suck at it lmfao). lately I'm also into podcasts,also recently I like to take night walks in my neighborhood:)

personality wise. . . i like to think myself as an open minded person:]. a friend of mine refers to me as a golden retriever and in my circle of friends im known to be the joker goofy one, but some also refer to me as a 'listener' or 'therapist. w my friends im sarcastic and dramatic ironically lmfao. anyways,, out of my main friend group and just to other people/casual friends, acquaintances or schoolmates, they refer to me as nice, friendly, chill. OHH and I think im expressive bc people say my face tends to express a lot of emotion even tho I don't rly intend to :’). my flawss? I've been said that I tend to yap sometimes lmfao. i also think I can be absent minded especially when I'm under pressure :’) I don't take pressure well huhu. so that means I'm not rly adaptable either. also i can be indecisive. also another info im a homebody but like it's not rly obvious at first bc sometimes I force myself to go out bc a lot of my friends in my friend group r outgoing & I don't wanna make them disappointed or smth (sometimes I make up an excuse tho so I don't go out lmfao). oh and I'm a night owl and prolly have undiagnosed insomnia /lh

anw I think I explained a lot (tbh too much actually) of my personality ngl so I'm gonna try my best to make my lists of interests short: I'm interested in biology, zoology, and history. I hate physics w all my heart. I like coffee, but tea is ok too. I like video game lore but I'm usually too lazy to play the game itself and I usually play fast paced games and valorant. current fave book is: romancing mr bridgerton from the bridgerton series. current fave show is: romance killer. my music taste is all over the place so I don't rly have a fave music genre.

anw that's all, have a good day!! thank u so much for reading & I'm sorry if it's too long. it's ok if u don't wanna answer this match up yet, take ur time!! once again thank u v much u don't need to answer this!

WHAT IS BRIDGERTON EVRYONE KEEPS TALKIN ABOUT IT RAHHH

Anyway!! I match you with...Satan!! :D

I think you two would be absolutely adorable together!! Satan would be very protective of you and always try to make sure you're comfortable, especially when meeting the demons for the first time. He would listen to your rambles and shut anyone that tries to speak over you up. Would let you roam his library and pick out any books you want, occasionally reading you to sleep :D Will hand you giant ass history books, biology books and zoology books. Will teach you about demon world animals too! He'd also love staying home with you and cuddling, just relaxing with each other ESPECIALLY when his brothers are out for the day