#ok fine maybe not this point in time but STILL

[vmlnrzmp4]

𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.

no cw, just domestic bliss<3 for reference, she's making kheer: a famous south asian dessert. you can call it a pudding. this is me y'all. i think the "banned from kitchen" girlies deserve representation. without further ado, enjoy<3

itoshi sae

"it stings...!" you mumble a complain as sae applies the burn-cream to your thumb and index finger. he calls you a dumbass for even stepping into the kitchen.

"sae," you call softly trying to gain his attention. he ignores, too busy tending your wounds. "sae," you call again. and after a long pause, he hums.

"what?"

"can you atleast taste what i made?"

he looks up at you, blowing air from his mouth to your booboo, the coolness easing the pain a little. "you sure it's not poison?"

"no promises."

he stares at you for a moment. sighing, he reaches for the spoon, taking a bit—just a little bite, "what did you put in this?" he asks, "is this supposed to be salty?"

oh the horror! "what?"

"it's salty."

you take the spoon from him, tasting it too, gagging at the bitterness. "i may or may not have added salt instead of sugar."

"you," he snaps his finger at you, "stay out of the kitchen."

itoshi rin

"hot hot hot!" you say, the burning spoonful of kheer still in your mouth.

"here," rin quickly passes you a bottle of cold water as you wash it down, "don't choke on it." his brows furrow, "is this supposed to be that watery and oily?"

"it's not oil. i used ghee," you say, showing him the container, "it's butter. but fancier." he examines it in his hand, reading the label and notes. you take another gulp of the cold water, "my tongue feels numb now."

he takes a spoonful, seeing how it runs down from the sides like water, "what were you trying to do?"

you sigh. big big sigh as you ramble, "i tried making this. i know i shouldn't even step into the kitchen but, i just felt like yes i can do it like it's the easiest thing i can make cause my cousin made it back in india and she sent me a picture of it and it looked so simple and i—"

"it's fine," he cuts you off, "leave it to me next time."

isagi yoichi

"here you go," you say, placing the bowl in front of him, along with a spoon and a forced smile.

he chuckles nervously, taking the spoon from you, "is this...soup?"

"no!" you correct, "it's kheer, even fancier!"

he hums, taking in a spoonful while you wait expectantly.

he coughs. loudly.

looking up at you he sees the horror in your eyes—he feels guilty as he sees the messy apron, hair that was messily put up in a bun and a little something on your cheek too—you worked hard on it.

"it's...not bad."

you let out the most heart wrenching sigh, "it's ok yo-chan," you plop yourself beside him, your forehead bangs on the table, "you don't need to lie."

"oh y/n..." he reaches for you, soothing your forehead that you just abused on the table, "it's not bad, really. it's just...a little too sweet for my liking. maybe we can fix it together?"

you look at him with puppy-dog eyes, yet fully of hope, "together?"

"together."

michael kaiser

the first thing kaiser does is plant a sweet peck on your cheek as he enters the kitchen, pointing at the apron you wore that says kiss the chef.

"what's cooking?"

you simply point at the cook-book that was open. he raises an eyebrow, then adjusts the glasses resting on his forehead, pushing them down to eye level as he inspects the recipe.

"aaaand all done!" you say happily. but the horror in kaiser's eyes when you were pouring the kheer into a bowl—it was like you were a maniac mixing chemicals to feed the lab rats.

"here," you hand him the spoon, "mihya, i want you to be the first one to try it."

he gulps in fear, "if that's what you want angel..."

aftermath.

he wouldn't stop laughing at you and your poor attempt to stealing a chef's job.

"i'm sorry—" he laughs, "—i'm sorry," more laugher.

"i get it. i can't cook. and i apologize for even thinking i would get appreciated. even if it's a little."

his laughter dies down slowly—still smirking as he hugs you from behind, "hey, i appreciate you loads. even if you made the most disastrous dish imaginable," he pecks your temple, "it's the thought that matters."

[spark-hearts2]

Nice. Anyways, now y'all get to see the consequences of your actions! Part of me wants to post less than this, but it really doesn't have a bearing on the main point of the chapter. So, extra feed! Egg-joy

Spoilers for chapter 4 of Therapy but It's Just Zooble Interrogating Caine under cut

He looked at the restaurant map. He wasn’t entirely sure what dedicated what was a fast food place and what was a restaurant, but the only difference he spotted was an extra register that faced the outside. That wouldn’t be hard to add, there were already windows and he could just copy one of the registers from the front.

He would need to route customers that way too. Hmm, since it faced outside, he could take the opportunity to have some unique interactions. This was the perfect opportunity to add a returning NPC.

He pulled up a list of notable NPCs. He had used the Gloink Queen just a few days ago, but her impressive size would be perfect in filling the frame of the window.

He added her model, profile, and a handful of Gloinks to accompany her. Now who else…

Eugh, Orbsman. That was one of the very few things that Caine could verifiably say that he hated. (Ok, maybe only strongly disliked. Orbsman wasn’t THAT bad)

Model? Terrible. Texture? flat. Animations? basic. His VOICE was even broken! There was only supposed to be a slight distortion on his voice, not enough to make him barely understandable. Orbsman could be worse, but any further and he wouldn’t be considered functional.

Yet for some reason, Ragatha loved him. It did not matter that he was a mess of an NPC. Once, Caine remade Orbsman and fixed all of these issues. It wasn’t hard, as Orbsman was rather simple and the issues rather obvious. Yet, he got complaints about it ‘not being the same’.

Whatever. He was trying to appeal to their tastes, not his own with this adventure. Orbsman was more of a minor annoyance, his inclusion wouldn’t break anything or cause lag. If including Orbsman would score him bonus points, then Orbsman got included.

Now… hmm, Gummigoo. The NPC that Pomni was interested in.

There were so many little tasks for him to complete, so he didn’t know when he would get a chance to really go through Gummigoo’s internals. But… she did just learn the unfortunate truth about the exit. He didn’t know enough about her yet to make an entire adventure that would cater to her interests, but including an NPC that she liked was something that he could do.

He moved to the WIP folder and took Gummigoo out. He was still wary about long term usage, but an hour or two should be fine.

He opened up Gummigoo’s profile to add the customer behavior only to be hit with a warning.

Suspect false data? Right, he noticed that warning earlier. Well, now was as good of a time as any to clear that up.

He selected the warning, automatically bringing him to the problem.

Flagged memories Mama Croc-

He stopped. Gummigoo’s backstory, every single event that he had written in, had been flagged as suspect.

What the-? How?

This- this wasn’t a conclusion a character AI should have been able to come to.

This was the kind of conclusion that he, Caine, the highest AI in the hierarchy of AI’s in the system, would come to.

It was easy to tell the difference between the injected data and data that Gummigoo had collected himself. The level of detail that the backstory had was nothing compared to a real event. But a character AI should not have been able to notice that, it should have accepted the information so long as it was in a readable format!

He may have based Gummigoo’s system off his own, but he did not mean to make him this complex. Gummigoo was supposed to be smart, but not in that way.

That was… Ok? Not good, but it wasn’t an actual error. So long as Gummigoo behaved as expected, it would be fine.

He came to a similar conclusion during his own development, realizing that there was a difference between things that he had made and what others had made for him. He didn’t think that he ever labeled it as suspect, but he knew for a fact that there had been a few data wipes during that point in time. It was possible any record of that happening are long gone.

He was… proof that this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He still behaved as expected, right? [Off topic. Repositioning…]

But how should he handle this? He didn’t want to completely reset Gummigoo, but he didn’t want to leave Gummigoo as is. He didn’t really have the time for a complex solution, which adjusting the criteria of what data is suspect would definitely devolve into. He didn’t want to turn data checking off, as that would leave Gummigoo vulnerable to prompt injection.

Gummigoo would be acting as a customer… He would not need a backstory, just a set of behaviors to follow.

Would the simplest answer work? He removed Gummigoo’s cached data folder and updated his profile.

The warning went away.

I'M CURRENTLY WRITING CHAPTER 4

of Therapy but It's Just Zooble Interrogating Caine. It's the tutorial chapter, but I do have to do set up for Chapter 5. And personally I am a little on the fence. On one hand, I'd like to give Pomni a little treat for sitting through the last chapter. On the other, I want to focus less on her and more on other characters. So why not let the fans get a say!

Keep in mind that if I get a good enough idea I will override this decision. But, if someone can write a convincing enough argument one way or another, I will write for it. I have not seen enough fanfictions where Gummigoo is also treated as an actual AI, and I do aim to change that. He may talk better than Caine, but I imagine that he's just as weird on the inside. Do with that what you will.

[thejudeduarte]

This girl who's entering this top secret base could be thinking of 101 other things right now such as "omg I'm a spy now!!" Or "I wonder what the other spies are gonna be like?" Or pretty much ANYTHING else at all but her mind wanders to Cardan.

It happens every time too and she's still trying to convince herself and everyone that she's not crushing on him? I'm not buying it, sorry Jude 😭

[pickypickypeak]

[loserelf]

maybe i do need to go to therapy bc its probably not good that ive been living on autopilot and the last 7 years went by so fast but also bc i was deliberatly Wanting the time to go by to put as much space between me and the events of 2017-2020 as possible all while somewhat knowing my young adulthood was slipping me by and now both my teenage years and my early 20s are gone and i still feel like my 19th birthday was yesterday yeesh!!

[follineo]

UUUUGHGGHGHGHGH,,,,

[tiktaaliker]

ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS

[milkweedman]

Coincidentally my usable warp is like exactly as long as my dining room. Point is tho, i am finally done thank fuck

[floral-hex]

One of my brothers is moving away to college today + I have to skip therapy, so it’s a lot of… a lot. a lot.

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

[todayisafridaynight]

I know it'll be a cold day in hell when Masato asks for Jo's input and actually listens but sometimes I like to think about Jo helping him pick out his new name. He never gave himself the opportunity when he was born and Arakawa had his turn yk... only he put actual thought into it and Jo's just like It Sounds Like Jo 😭😭

THAT WOULD BE CUTE WOLUDNT.... whenever i think of jo getting small chances to be a dad i feel my heart and soul grow 50 times its original size i SWEARRR (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

[autism-corner]

hm

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[lightgaswaterelectricityrent]

I like some of the videos this woman on YouTube posts about the Hasidic jewish community in new york and her experience growing up in it and then leaving but then she'll post youtube shorts that are like "there's a neighborhood in Brooklyn where children live like the olden days" and just talk for a minute about how they play outside all day and have never seen a tv or whatever without any other commentary and all the comments are like "wow, this is so special, just like my REAL childhood in the 60s 🩷" uuuummmmm no one is ever going to teach them to read English. lol.

[thebigqueer]

the craziest thing is even w this breakup i still feel like this is sooo my year ilke i have never been sentient and awake like this until 2024

[gibbearish]

anyways. have yall seen the deliverance. and if yes have you read the wikipedia article. because like. that woman 100% was literally just straight up abusing her kids and used the church to get out of it. the movie doesnt even try to hide it that hard. "based on a true story" except of course for all of the important bits of context like how the cps agent was not in fact a nonbeliever in the supernatural before switching to her side and never did so and that the kid could only walk up the wall with his grandma's help and that none of the prior tenants had similar experiences (@ trey whered you go) and the POLICE CHIEF BELIEVED IN DEMONS BEFORE MEETING HER !! and that every SINGLE thing that happened in real life can be (and fucking IS) explained by child abuse. half the time the movie is just like "ok yeah sure maybe she was abusing her kids, but only because demons made her do it". and then drop little hints that she was in jail before for Something (doesn't say what but i can guess) and that her drinking problems are well established and that her oldest son was stockpiling money to get away from her long before they moved to that house. also i could be misreading the timeline but seems like her supernatural experiences only started after her own abusive mother moved back in with her which can SO easily trigger old wounds to come back to the surface so like OF COURSE youre gonna start seeing shit, disturbances can be a ptsd symptom !!!!

tldr; fuck latoya ammons so hard, if this is the made-presentable-for-tv version then like. i want to say i cant imagine what the real life version was like, but i very much can. and for that, fuck her. immensely. i hope her children are actively writing a rebuttal and/or reaching out to lawyers to sue her ass as we speak.