chaoticonsciousarch - Tumblr blog

[chaoticonsciousarch]

isn’t 25 a little old to be roleplaying lmao

Wow. Okay. Breathes and tries to contain my anger bc as I age I DO actually see the rampant ageism in the rpc, an example exhibited here. And clearly it goes beyond just FCs and preferred character types. It’s toward muns too.

The fact is, there is no magic age where you wake up and say “that’s it!!! I will not write in this social community I helped build and heavily contributed to for almost a decade anymore”!!! There is no age when you tell yourself you’re “too old” for things that bring you pleasure, joy and freedom. You’re in for such a rude awakening when you discover 25 is far from old and 30 is literally just a meaningless number. Why is everyone on this website so afraid of aging? It’s scary how often I see people weaponize age as if it’s even relevant or a good argument to make.

Look, I understand that millennials and gen zs have this like.. barrier. A line around the ages 22-25 where people feel separation because our experiences are different but people! CAN STILL COEXIST AT THE SAME TIME! I can be close as fuck to someone 18-19 and call them a good friend and learn from them and vice versa. Generational gaps do not automatically equate to not being able to relate to one another!!!! Why do you hate people in this community so much just because they’re not in your perfect age range? What makes you think you’re automatically better than someone in this community just because they have a few years on you? It literally means nothing. And it sounds to me like you have some internalized hatred for the hobby you enjoy that you’re projecting onto me (and others in my age bracket) that just don’t care anymore and live freely on this website trying to fucking create.

I wish people didn’t have to write 21+ on their app to feel comfortable. I wish people didn’t have to live in fear of being ostracized online in a community they’ve felt safe in for some, past a decade now, just because they’re not in college anymore. Let people fucking live if they’re not hurting anyone loser.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

send me  ‘ hc ‘  + a word and i’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my character.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

MOUTH OPENS TO ASK AGAIN, to make sure that everything was alright, that chris was OKAY but he’s watching him get close, leaning down closer, finally throat makes a sound but lips are on his. eyes widen in surprise, shock, heart THUMPING as hands go to grasp at chris’s shoulders, grasping at clothes tightly, aiming to push weight off of him – body shifting slightly, trying to pull head away. MIND RACES as heart tries to catch up to thoughts. 

      TURNING HIS HEAD to the side, aiming to break kiss, blush flickering forth, rising to cheeks as he catches the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. CHRIS HAD BEEN ALONE for so long, was this what he really needed? grip leaves the clothes, gently hedgehog is grasping at humans wrists. 

He can feel the hedgehog trying to push him away, but Christopher didn’t relent. Though, Sonic still managed to move his face from the kiss. Christopher just stared down at him, lips thinned. He exhaled, then promptly moved from on top of the hedgehog. Christopher sat down nearby, and just sort of stared ahead again.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

HE’S BEING PUSHED BACK, head resting against the ground, staring up at where chris was, brows furrowing ever so slightly, almost wanting to question what he was doing but he falls silent as fingers brush against his muzzle, heart thumping slight out of beat but he stays still, emerald hues watching gaze narrow, notices contemplation and he finally asks softly, almost afraid to break chris’s concentration. 

       “ what’s on your mind chris ? “ 

Is it the tone? The way Sonic is looking up at him, with those eyes? Those words he keeps speaking? Christopher’s own desire to just feel something? To destroy those memories, those thoughts. To lose himself.

He doesn’t think much more on it, before he’s leaning down more and capturing Sonic’s mouth against his own. The kiss is strong, confident; not forceful, but full of a greedy desire. Christopher shifts so that was his weight is against Sonic more, so the other can’t quite squirm away from him.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

☎

Put ☎ in my ask for your muses info in my muses phone:

NAME: Beloved ( Mine )

RINGTONE: G.H.O.S.T ( kravitz says: it also makes me think of exe & ivo/chris )

PICTURE: 

LAST TEXT RECEIVED:Amy made you some cookies.

LAST TEXT SENT:I do not eat sweets. However. Tell her that I will make an exception this one time.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

EARS TWITCH AT WORDS, holding back a low scoff at the mention that he shouldn’t be around his friend, that he shouldn’t be near him….they had been forcefully separated, chris snatched from a happy moment to a world of hell, alone with a mad man and hedgehog refuses to move from the SPOT he had claimed.

pressing himself into humans side, hoping to ground chris. to comfort. and as a few moments flickered by exe shakes his head, “ and leave you alone? i told you, you aren’t escaping me that easily chris…you’ve been alone for so long…” 

       alone with miles. alone with that HATRED, and he can feel a low bubbling fury grow at the thought of the human that had done this, “ i don’t plan on leaving you again...”  

Christopher moved, then, suddenly; he pushed the hedgehog back, but went with him, so Sonic was on his back against the grass. Christopher’s hand was splayed just off to the side of his head. Christopher’s eyes searched the hedgehog’s face, hand moving; fingers moved to brush against Sonic’s muzzle.

His gaze narrowed, as though contemplating something.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

Put ☎ in my ask for your muses info in my muses phone:

NAME:

RINGTONE: 

PICTURE: 

LAST TEXT RECEIVED: 

LAST TEXT SENT: 

[chaoticonsciousarch]

So I think I finally found an animated face claim for Ivo.

( Just wish he wasn’t blonde lmao oh well! )

[chaoticonsciousarch]

   I’d rather

          be hated for

      who I am

                 than

       loved for

     who I am

     not.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

“ 𝒞𝒶𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝐼 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒮𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝐿𝒾𝒻𝑒…                            𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝐼 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝐵𝑒 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒴𝑜𝓊…                                                             𝐼𝓃 𝑀𝓎 𝒟𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂 𝑜𝒻 𝒶𝓃 𝒜𝒷𝓈𝑜𝓁𝓊𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃. “

                                               ᴘᴇɴɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀɴᴛʜᴏɴʏ

[chaoticonsciousarch]

lovedsonic‌:

‘ s-sorry– ’she manages , using the back of her arm to wipe away any remaining tears . of all people , it was – weird hearing it from him , but .. there’s no aggression or even unease to be found in her expression . ‘ i guess – i’m just a little extra sensitive today. that’s — that’s all. i don’t really like seeing people hurting so much, but i know one person can’t save them all. ’

A brief chuckle left him ; and he smiled, an eyebrow rose. “Why exactly are you apologising. Did I mention your tears were a detriment to either of us?” Ivo leaves it at that. He’s quiet, for a few moments. Listened, as she spoke of sensitivity. “I see. Anything else?” was he offering her a chance to unload her burdens without needing to worry about his judgement of her??

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

CHRIS MOVES SUDDENLY, grabbing him by soaked hoodie, pulling him forward, close and closer, lifeless eyes staring down at him, searching for SOMETHING and hedgehog notices the lost expression on humans features but he notices the dull look replace the lost one and hedgehog frowns more. shifting, hand goes to hold chris’s hand, gently, squeezing softly in comfort and he leans softly against him, a side hug. UNSURE WHAT he could say, or do and exe just gently sits there, staring up TOWARDS THE SKY. holding chris’s hand, leaning against him hoping that chris will accept his comfort.

Feeling on his hand ; weight leaned against him. So soft, light. Sonic wasn’t heavy at all. Christopher could hold his head under the water, then he could go in himself again. His eyes closed, not feeling much about having that thought. Where was the guilt? The remorse? That repulsion? He felt nothing. He wanted to puke, but his throat was so dry.

“...You shouldn’t be near me.” the words are low, not a warning, not a threat, not a plea. Just noise coming from his mouth. Maybe if he hears himself he won’t feel so far away. So outside of this moment.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

MENTION OF A GIRL catches him off guard, confusion washing through him, unsure what chris was really talking about…searching MEMORY for anything, and there’s an inkling that he should know but he ignored it, shaking his head as BITTER laugh interrupting his search and now he simply sits there, staring at the back being aimed at him. FROWNING, exe wants to ask what he meant by that, by the girl but he gently just looks up towards the sky. “ yeah…” he mumbles, clearly NOT UNDERSTANDING, not remembering. 

Christopher just laid there, not saying a word. He didn’t even feel anger at Sonic not remembering. He just felt so done. Tired. That anger he wanted to grasp onto, to choke on, was drying up. Feel something. Feel anger. Feel hatred. Negativity is better than nothing. That nothing will pull you back to that cell ; to that torture.

You deserved this--

He moved, then, sitting up so suddenly. He grabbed Sonic by the front of his wet hoodie, and pulled him forward before stopping. Christopher stared down at him, gaze searching the hedgehog’s face. Christopher’s own face had looked, lost, then just dull.

Letting go of Sonic’s damp hoodie, Christopher glanced away and just sort of stared ahead.

He wished he had stayed dead.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

BONES CRACKING, REFORMING AND RESHAPING back into familiar body of a human, watching him turn, seeing clothes normal, wet due to plunge within LAKE and there was a small sense of relief. EMERALD HUES glance at dull eyes, wincing at the once BRIGHT expression now lifeless, just..there, and he shifts, as chris slumps to the ground, STARING up at blue sky and hedgehog gently goes to join, sitting next to him as he ignores wounds, ignores sore and soaked body, doesn’t bother with heavy quills and he frowns softly. 

      “ i don’t know what happened chris…i can’t pretend that i do, but i know pain, i know anger and i know torture….you don’t have to say anything, or want to talk, but you aren’t alone anymore…I’M HERE. whether you want it or not…i’ll always be here…” 

“...It’s like the girl,” the words are spoken almost to himself ; a far off expression, like he’s lost in a memory. A grimace along Christopher’s expression, very brief. Then, he laughed, the noise quick, short, bitter ; void of happiness. Tight. He rolled away from the hedgehog, so he was laying on his side now, back to Sonic.

[chaoticonsciousarch]

godlyhedgehog‌:

INHALE CATCHES EARS, coughing and hacking filling once silent glen but he’s being shoved back ONCE MORE, body landing on the ground, A HISS escapes from clenched teeth as wounds are aggravated once more but he PUSHES HIMSELF up, staring at chris with concern expression. HE NOTICES stare and exe puts his hands up to show he wasn’t going to HURT anyone, instead he gives shaky grin. “ you can’t get RID of me that easily chris..” it was warm, calming despite racing heart. “ not now or ever…you’re stuck with me..” 

An exhale left him, the noise transforming, going from a deep, guttural sound to a regular human sigh. His body cracked, bones twisting and reshaping as he became human again. Clothes regular, if not a bit wet due to the lake, hair back on his head, eyes were-- normal. Those sunglasses were gone ; Sonic could see his eyes. How void of life they were, a dulled grey-blue, tired. So listless.

Christopher slumped onto his back, and just stared up at the sky.