#I thought I was finally free.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
UUUUGHGGHGHGHGH,,,,
#One my friend says that's what I look like when I talk about my hyperfixation.#They said I sounded like a maniac in one moment :[#I'll have to ask my other friends if I'm not boring them with my yapping-#-where I'm running from one detail to another trying to explain to them what I'm into#and also ask how I look when I talk about them.#And sorry about this post I'll make some normal art soon. I promise!!#I don't really hyperfix often. I can only remember the fnaf times that didn't leave me for years and now I fine....#...ok that fandom still haunts me and I can't stop watching what happens there.... but AHEM#And I never thought I'd hyperfix on anything again.#I thought I was finally free.#but now something's gone very wrong I don't know if it's normal. maybe I need help#I'm afraid it'll get to the point where I'll start telling my dad about it because it's going to be really weird.#now its funny to me because I thought I was only gonna post art on tumblr but ehehehEHEHEHAEHHASHAHFAHHAS#I think I'm getting off topic SO BYE.#.... and also there are TOO many tags IM SORRY#folli's though#< - yeah this tag can be here#shitpost#digital art#doodle#ms paint#art#hyperfixation
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
you're going about your normal day when, suddenly, surprise! you've been pokémon mystery dungeon'd!
unfortunately, due to budget cuts, the pokémon assigning quiz has been canceled. instead, you must spin THE WHEEL, assigning you a random, unevolved, non-legendary and non-mythical pokémon. you must now go on some sort of world-saving adventure as this pokémon. good luck!
tell me in the tags what you rolled, and how you feel about it - for bonus points, you can spin the wheel again for (or just take your pick of) a pokémon to be your partner.
bonus rules:
you're not shiny unless the wheel tells you you're shiny
take your pick of regional forms and evolutions (for example, if you roll vulpix, it's up to you whether that means normal or alolan vulpix)
apply whatever logic you like with regards to gender
have fun and be yourself!
#pokemon#pkmn#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#tag games#someone might've done this concept already but i had a worm in my brain you know.#i thought itd be fun to list all the unevolved pokemon... now i know there's only around 400 evolution lines total!#.. not counting mythicals legendaries ultra beasts or paradoxes#by the way! alongside the shiny result there are two other bonus results: an obligatory pikachu and... a surprise!!!#finally feel free to let me know if i misspelled something or accidentally included an evolved mon (other than pikachu)#sorry long tags ha 😅 i'm done now
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THIS SCENE. BUT ALSO I CRIE. CAITLYN'S SHRUG ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#arcane vi#vi arcane#vicait#violyn#piltovers finest#sapphic#spoilers#duh#my post#my gifs#I CANT GET OVER THAT SHRUG#also I just realized the entire scene is so good#also regarding colors#cause like Cait got rid of the cloak#so less red for her#just her choker#but then also Vi who has mostly black except some red from her hair (and her shoes)#and both of them are mostly in a dark tone#while in Ambessas tent it's mostly red#and I kinda like the thought of Cait finally freeing herself from Ambessas grasp#returning to what she had before (Vi)#and there fore unifying or at least coming close in colors#to like symbolize that#I should probably make a post for that instead of just yapping in my tags xD
655 notes
·
View notes
Note
im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.
AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT
in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time 🐝
#FR MEANS A LOT TO ME THANKYOU 🥲🙏 the chef analogy is so sweet too i love it#apologies i take a while to answer asks.. generating ideas#ask#anon#homestuck#sollux captor#2023#vioart#now im curious to know#question for sollux appreciators at any point in time -#was there any specific moment that made u connect w him most?#like for me it was when he became relieved and happy after the voices stopped#as someone plagued by 24/7 internal monologue. being "free from the voices” sounded absolutely euphoric to me LMAO#watching him talk abt finally being able to think clearly and hear his own thoughts...... gOD. MY BIGGEST ENVY OF HOMESTUCK.
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii I saw that you're doing birthday sketchy requests for the Bois and you're like one of my all time favorite DCA artists so I just had to put in a little request! (I'm so scared to be in your ask box rn don't look at me 😨)
Could you do a blushy Moon? Just him being all cutesy and flustered maybe due to him getting a smooch (Moon with kiss mark on his face would be too cute maybe I'll have to doodle it too lol) Any design you prefer for him is just fine, whatever is most fun for you! Soft flustered Moon just holds a special place in my heart hehe
I also hope you're having a lovely weekend! Best of wishes friend!
ACK i meant to respond to this sooo much sooner but i got busy,, again?? i slowly did this thru out the week (inconsistent artstyle my beloved <3)
BUT IM TOUCHED.. like WHAT. one of your favorite DCA artists is so wild to me i exploded?? /pos
thank you for requesting!! reading that made my day /gen 🥺
#dca fandom#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf dca#moondrop#fnaf moon#dca moon#pingdoobles#i got so swamped by work just when i thought i was free but#I FINALLY GOT THRU AURGBB#ok its 1am i am snoozing hello tumblr and gn!!
496 notes
·
View notes
Text
silence
also this is from Wolfwood's POV (in case it isn't clear) i have 0 normal thoughts (every song ever is VW)
#i got possessed for 4 days straight and have been making comics every goddamn day#some i like too much to post just yet#but this one was a pain in the ass so (as per usual) must get posted#after it's on tumblr dot com i feel free#so you know how wolfwood points his gun at vash out of fear multiple times#i thought i'd draw a little something about it but much much worse#i dont think ww would ever shoot but it would probably haunt him in his dreams#thinking about how it would feel like to pull the trigger#distantly wondering if vash would /let/ him shoot. if he wanted wolfwood to finally kill him#also#trans wolfwood agenda#but i just casually throw it in the mixture before cooking up some fucked up shit about vw#also i fucking loveeeee the band 'i like trains'#so many lyrics to work on.....#ive sketched a millionsummers comic on i like trains' lyrics too#anyway#thats about it#trigun#trigun fanart#cw blood#tw blood#cw guns#vash the stampede#vashwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#trimax#trigun maximum#vashwood fanart#my art
645 notes
·
View notes
Text
AU in which Little Timmy Drake is 100% convinced that his neighbors are Batman and Robin, but he’s wrong. He misinterpreted the signs. In reality, “Batman” is just some random dude bro named Kyle with a vendetta and an unusually-short-but-fully-adult acrobatic friend called Greg who acts as his Robin, and Tim’s neighbors are just genuine-himbo-good-dad Bruce Wayne and his adopted sons.
Cue Himbo!Bruce and his kids picking up on the fact that their 9-year-old neighbor is left home alone a little too often and trying to invite Tim over, and Tim internally panicking like “oh no I can’t possibly stay, who’s gonna protect Gotham if I’m keeping Batman from his patrols??” And Himbo!Bruce just thinking Tim’s got some run-of-the-mill anxiety about sleeping over at a new house and that it’ll all be cured with hot chocolate and game night and blanket forts
Basically just a whole huge misunderstanding with a dramatic reveal of Tim declaring he knows their big secret and Bruce being like ??? “That I got hair implants??” 🤨
#this has been sitting in my ideas doc for years so I thought I’d finally set it free#batfam#batfam au#Tim Drake#Bruce Wayne
383 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay hi so listen hear me out
sea snake is a bit too obvious (and too boring)
so i made him based on some kind of lionfish??? (bc something something venomous marine animal) also with a LOT of creative liberties i made with how the fish looks like
let’s also give his fins some rips and tears here and there bc what are the implications of that??? that’s for you 🫵 to decide
anyways chat i lowkey dont know what i was doing
i had no other thoughts but haha funny snake man i turn into fish
#mmm the quality is so crunchy#also his ass is under there i swear#a friend pointed out where it was and i’m just hfjjdjdjd#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#merjam🐍#-✦—]#also hey hi tag readers#let's do something fun here#(if you don't like deep water/drowning(?) imagery please dont continue past this 💖)#“dont go near the ocean they say”#“for there are sirens that will compel you with their beauty and their seductive voices”#“however you find yourself being lured in by the sea with an enchanting sound”#“before you knew it you're underwater sinking deeper and deeper”#“despite the water filling your lungs you find yourself still conscious but not in control of yourself”#“as you gaze into a pair of enchanting charcoal eyes”#“this creature... it's a siren. and somehow you can hear its thoughts and commands”#“finally. you. you are the key”'#“the siren yearns to be free from the dreary depths”#“you're human aren't you?” “the siren wants to be human too” “the siren wants to be free”#“the siren tried to hide it but you can feel that it was desperate”#“you /will/ take it onto land”#“you /will/ let the siren be a part of that world... or else”#(idk what im on tbh but mer AU 😔😔😔😔)
724 notes
·
View notes
Text
silly thing i drew. investigation goes wrong
audio is from community, season 2 episode 2, Accounting for Lawyers 🤓☝
#dgs#tgaa#mine#I SPENT TOO LONG ON THIS AND THE ART QUALITY GETS SO BAD BUT IDGAF#i just thought it was really funny okay. ive been wanting to make this for YEARS and finally bit the bullet#by working on it in my free time. cries#community is one of my fav shows ok#sorry mr. no name butler
220 notes
·
View notes
Text
thug beatdown round 2: electric boogaloo
(extras, cw flashing gif:)
alt:
the fit:
#tim drake#dc#sart#cw flashing#im grateful to the femme tim people for indulging me bc im back on my bullshit#long hair tim!!! LONG HAIR TIM!!!#if dick can have a long hair moment so can tim#further#as a canonical nightwing fan i think tim would at some point try to emulate that (also as a possible successor to the mantle)#(altho the nightwing!damian to batman!cass art i saw once also lives rent free in my mind)#AND if we track the progression of tim's hair from robin to red robin#this is the natural conclusion#in this essay i will—#aside but altho the only time i've seen jack drake drinking in the comics it was beer#we're gonna pretend he was fond of whiskey for the Aesthetic#also traditional upper class white man things#and tim drinks whiskey as a begrudging homage to the father he never really got to share drinks with beyond that one time he got magically#aged up#((i got a new dress and i thought tim would look nice in it))#god i can finally think about other things now
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
My biggest flex will always be how I knew Neil was the more feral and dangerous one than Andrew this whole time even before tsc and seeing the entire fandom freaked out makes me want to kiss and hug Nora and just thank her for finally finally showing everyone and I’m not just crazy
#seeing all the post about like omg Neil is so feral?! like brother did you not read aftg did y’all forget aftg is from Neil’s pov#ofc Neil wouldn’t say he’s feral in his own pov tf😭😭😭#and remember in aftg Neil still has to hide part of himself BECASUE his father and eveyrhhing but now he’s literally free from his biggest#fear and he could do whatever the fuck he wants#Istg the fandom is like the foxes man idk why everyone is so shook#literally cant thank Nora enough for showing everyone finally#Idc if I sound proud or whatever but I fucking knew it this entire time and I have been shouting it for so long like finally#that’s why so many fics annoyed me so much like#I just needed to say this because I finally felt seen and heard andFINALLY LIKE URGH#tsc and aftg supremacy#tsc#tsc spoilers#the sunshine court#the sunshine court spoilers#aftg#all for the game#tfc#the foxhole court#aftg series#aftg fandom#aftg incorrect quotes#neil josten#andrew minyard#andrew joseph minyard#neil abram josten#aftg neil#aftg thoughts#aftg textpost#aftg shitpost#incorrect tfc
703 notes
·
View notes
Text
[stress relief doodle] just wanted to let you guys know that he’s always had those stupid tassels dw
#this is also me doing concept sketches for what my qitian dasheng design will look like#having trouble with designing the armor bit o(-(#journey to the west#jttw sun wukong#sun wukong#monkey king#digital art#my art#sorry I’ve only been posting only quick doodles I’m very busy with finals#but I’ve only got two weeks ish left then I’m home free!!!#graduated!!!!!!#but these two weeks will be the worse of my life work wise#gearin up for that#save me monkey king…save me….monkey..#I love those stupid fucking dangly tassels#they’re the best feature I’ve thought up for him like they suit him so well somehow#showy but understated ya know? not too flamboyant but gives a hint of former grandeur ✨
367 notes
·
View notes
Text
tfone au where OP is created as the last of the primes but way after them, a sparkling born at what were thought to be the last days of the war against the quintessons, the beginning of a new generation of peace after eons of war. a child meant to be loved and raised knowing nothing of war nor sacrifice.
he's kept mostly out of the spotlight by his siblings, who don't wish to expose him to everyone's optics so young, and want to wait until the war is done and over to properly introduce him to their people.
except of course the primes are betrayed and murdered by sentinel, the war is lost and everyone who knows and cared for the truth is either banished or outright killed in order to suppress it.
and the high guard, the ones the primes trusted the most, the ones that were supposed to protect them, the ones who failed in their most important duty, have to make a choice. to take the last prime, their last hope, with them to the surface, a hostile environment where there's little to no supplies and where they'll be hunted down by both sentinel and the quintessons as the biggest threat to their regimen.
or hide him in plain sight. place him where sentinel won't think to look for him. one more sparkling among many. and hope it will be enough to keep him alive. pray to primus that he'll protect his last child long enough for them to come back for him when it's safer (even if most of them have already lost their faith on him when he allowed the rest of his children to be massacred like that)
they almost lose their resolve when they realize they will have to take the little one's cog away in order to make him blend in with the rest of the newborns (and oh do they burn with murderous intent when they see what sentinel has done to their people but it's not the time yet-) but in the end they decide an impaired little prime is better than a dead one.
and so in the chaos of thirteen dead primes and a sudden energon crisis, a little sparkling who very few mechs really knew about and even fewer had seen completely vanishes. and in the depths of iacon a mech in charge of a new batch of newborns scratches their helm in confusion as they realize they must have miscounted the first time.
optimus prime is quietly erased from any official records by sentinel, written off as dead when they find a sparkling's frame mangled beyond recognition after an attack on the base of those rebels that insist on being a thorn on his side. killing the sparkling hadn't been precisely in his plans, he probably could've found some use for it after all, but he's not particularly upset about it either.
and orion pax grows up with an ache on his spark that tells him he's missing something far more important than a t-cog and dreams of gentle and loving hands, cradling him against the frames of mechs he cannot recall the faces of.
#i talk a lot <3#transformers#transformers one#tfone#optimus prime#orion pax#baby prime orion au#this is mostly an excuse for me to draw the primes and baby OP later on. just to be clear.#i WILL be drawing this at some point lmao#tbh i'm a little uncertain how i want things to progress#because on one hand it would be very tasty and tense if sentinel recognized optimus during the race#but that means a lot of changes very early on in the plot and i would have to do a lot of Thinking on how to justify getting the gang#to still pick up bee and elita. cause i love them <3#i do think it'd be very funny if the high guard's plan worked like a charm except for the very tiny fact that they didn't count#on orion being an absolute hellion. like. this kid is Not Going Unnoticed and it's completely his own fault lmao#in this version maybe a member of the high guard stayed behind to keep an eye on orion and is able to get them out before they're killed#but instead of taking them to where the primes fell they take them directly to the high guard#which is very awkward because it's a very moving and emotional moment for the high guard who are finally reunited with their little prime#all grown up and healthy and blessedly *alive*. except orion doesn't fucking remember any of them and is very confused as to why#the legendary warriors of cybertron are getting all weepy over him. they finally explain the truth to him which is a Fucking Bomb#to drop on anyone but especially a group of kids who almost got killed by the person they all thought the world of just hours ago#they also return orion's t-cog to him which would create some tension between him and the rest of the gang because this time#he's the only one getting his cog back. add to it that they were just told he's the equivalent of a demi-god and... well.#there's a gap between him and them that wasn't there before#on the other version of events that follows canon more closely everything goes the same up until the gang finds the primes in the cave#and wake up alpha trion who now not only has to deal with the fact the rest of his siblings are dead but that he missed fifty cycles#of his baby brother's life. that the only sibling he has left does not remember him or his true identity at all.#he has to choose between telling him the truth which has the risk of unbalancing him in a critical moment where he cannot afford to#be distracted because they're being hunted down. or let him remain unaware. let him forget their family and the love they had for him#but letting him remain free of the knowledge of what he lost and the heartbreak it would bring.
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Helena diaz of it all has me fascinated. I’ve said for a long while that Eddie’s real issues are his mommy issues and this episode just cemented for me that we’re gonna explore that and deal with it.
Because it’s Helena who forced Eddie to grow up to fast - because her husband wasn’t around much - so she pushed Eddie into de facto parent and husband role ls - selfishly filling her needs and ignoring the damage it was doing to her son (it is a form of abuse in my book).
Eddie then had the audacity to fall in love with and marry Shannon and get her pregnant. It’s why Helena was always so off with Shannon - she was punishing her. She is also punishing Eddie for all of this and his refusal to return to El Paso only cemented further her bitterness and resentment.
Now she does have Ramon back she doesn’t need Eddie any longer to fill that role so she is still punishing him and part of that is tied into her glee over now getting to parent Christopher - something she has always been intent on doing the doppelgänger just gave her the opportunity- as well as allowing her to further punish her son and his love of Shannon.
Her barbed comments about building a pool were all about showing what she can provide Christopher - how she is parenting him better than Eddie - it’s part of her mind games - making Eddie feel like more of a failure as a parent to his son.
The reality of course is that the reverse is true - Helena’s parenting is all superficial, flash and showy - it isn’t the hard day to day parenting when things get tough and you have to be the bad guy. While Eddie has made mistakes, there is nothing superficial, flash, or showy about his parenting. It’s why bucks comments about Eddie being a great dad are so important.
Eddie feel like a failure right now and that he is entirely to blame for everything. But in reality, while he does bear a bit of the responsibility, the truth of the matter is that he needs to learn and deal with the fact that all of it actually stems from Helena and her abuse of her young son - Shannon never stood a chance just like Eddie never has.
#genuinely don’t see how she can get any sort of redemption arc#but this is 911 so maybe they’ll find a way 🤷🏻♀️#Helena’s treatment of Eddie is a form of child abuse - it has done so much damage to him psychologically#I do really hope we finally get to meet Sophia and adriana as part of this arc beciase I think it might be very revealing#I am also wondering if Ramon had a stache in the past - and that is what Eddie is subconsciously trying to mimic#and that is about him trying to regain his mothers affection - trying to fill that husband role she forced him into#and that shaving it off is a part of his dealing with that and choosing to free himself from her clutches#and in doing that - standing up for himself etc - it will be the trigger that v ring schristopher back#the catholic guilt and Eddie’s queerness is also all tied up in this - the church reinforces and condones Helena and her actions#the Catholic Church has a long history of abuse of children in all it’s horrendous forms#so Eddie seeking solace in that direction think it will help him find away back to Helena’s good books only for it to open a few doors he#has bolted shut#as for the queer aspect - forcing Eddie to grow up too fast and fill this role of husband to his mother and parent to his siblings means#Eddie never got the chance to learn who he actually is - to explore his sexuality and all that goes with that - at the age one normally#would - as a teenager and into your 20’s. it explains so much around his relationship with Shannon and dealing with the helana of it all#and the queerness of his identity - will also allow him to actually let Shannon go#Eddie’s arc is going to be incredible - heartbreaking and gut wrenching - but incredible#Helena diaz it’s on sight - she is evil and cannot be redeemed in my eyes!#911 spoilers#Thinky thoughts#eddie diaz#911 abc
247 notes
·
View notes
Text
Final Akane + AquaKane Thoughts
There are so many things to say that I don't even know how to start organizing my thoughts lol I'll also be including my final thoughts about the "love triangle" while I'm at it, so this is probably going to get long!
I've written quite a bit about Aqua/Akane this past year, so I won't be going into detail into any of the things I've already discussed up to now. Instead, I'll just focus on my thoughts on this final set of chapters, as well as my overall thoughts now that the manga is over.
I'll start with the (few) things I liked:
The Good
I mentioned before that I'm a sucker for parallels, and that Aqua/Akane having so many is one of the reasons why I couldn't help but ship them. We somehow got some very good ones in these last few chapters. We even got a scene at the Aqua/Akane bridge, the one where Akane's relationship with Aqua began and ended.
Aqua saved her life at that bridge, without any ulterior motives. And it's that very bridge that is pictured as Akane says that she has decided to live on. The imagery is poignant and pays its respects to not only Akane's arc as a character, but also to the Aqua/Akane relationship.
More than that, the parallels we got confirm things that Akane and Aqua/Akane fans like me have been saying all along:
Through it all, Akane saw him as he is and embraced the broken him. Each time, she willingly chose to get closer to him. When Aqua tells Akane that he has been saved ever since he met her, I get it. I have no doubt that for Aqua, who has been desperately fighting alone for so long, being seen and understood and loved despite all his self-perceived flaws and the darkness in him must have felt like salvation.
Akane is the one who knows Aqua the best, the one who knows him the most, the one who sees him exactly as he is and who loves all of him. Akane doesn't romanticize Aqua's flaws and his self-sacrificial nature, and neither does she idealize his virtues. She just accepts him and does her best to support and understand him through it all.
Akane being the only one who can see through Aqua's plan is enough to prove this, but it's actually not the most meaningful way in which Aka confirmed it. The most meaningful way was actually this:
Usually, whenever Akane thinks about Aqua, she calls him Aqua-kun. However, throughout her entire monologue in the last three chapters, Akane never addresses him by name. She just calls him "You". The same "You" (君) that Aka emphasized in Chapter 63.
The "You" that encapsulates everything Aqua Hoshino was: both the Goro and the Aqua.
This was a very, very deliberate narrative choice that tells you that throughout the manga, Akane was the one who loved Aqua Hoshino exactly as he was.
Aka also uses another parallel to confirm that Akane was indeed lying to Kana when she claimed that she was over Aqua.
When she finally breaks down, Aka allows Akane to be honest about her feelings, and the parallel to the Aqua/Akane break-up tells us everything we need to know.
Akane never stopped loving Aqua. She has been in love with him all along.
Ever since they broke up, Akane has been sacrificing her feelings for Aqua in order to do what she thinks is best for him. Akane's priority has always been to see Aqua happy. She is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish that. Back when she thought that Aqua needed to kill Kamiki, Akane was willing to shoulder that sin with him just so he wouldn't have to carry it on his own. When she realized that what Aqua truly wanted was to be free from his revenge, Akane was ready to deal with Kamiki on her own just so that Aqua wouldn't get his hands dirty. Then, when Aqua pushes Akane away, Akane becomes determined to stop him from killing Kamiki because she knows revenge is not what Aqua truly wants or needs.
But that's not all there is to it. Akane wants to be with Aqua, because she loves him. And it's precisely because she loves him, and because she thinks her love failed to save him, that she keeps her feelings to herself and is even willing to help another girl get close to him in her place.
So this chapter confirmed that the one who has been making the sacrificial play, the one who truly loved Aqua, was Akane. It is, essentially, the counterpart to Chapters 148 and 149.
It's no wonder, then, that Akane's feelings and her grief are the ones we follow immediately after Aqua's death. She goes to mourn him in the place he actually died, and when she's around his family, she keeps her pain to herself in order to not worsen their burden. We see her piece together what happened, we see her break, and then we see Akane put herself together and find some solace in knowing that Aqua kept her away to protect her.
Aqua is gone, and Akane is the only one to know Aqua's truth.
A lot of people spent the entire manga trying to downplay Aqua's relationship with Akane; claiming that it was a lie, a manipulation, or what-have-you. Now that the manga is over, we can say those claims were never proven.
At the contrary, until the very end, Aqua's thoughts & actions in regard to Akane were shown to back-up everything he said about her during their relationship.
Aqua could've lived if he had asked Akane for help in killing Kamiki, but he didn't want Akane to get her hands dirty for him. He broke up with her to not bring her down to hell with him, and when the options were to either die alone or make Akane bear the weight of a sin with him, the choice was quickly made.
At the end, he's even shown wanting the same thing Akane wanted: an equal relationship with her.
Unlike his thoughts about Kana (more on that later), which are just a 'might', this is something Aqua is purposeful about. It's something he is sure he wants. It's even the last thing he thinks of before wanting to see Ruby at the dome, which we all know was his dearest wish.
This also fits the panels chosen to be shown in the "romance" part of Aqua's montage: the moment he doesn't catch Kana's ball (symbolizing that their feelings don't connect) vs the moment where he chooses to kiss and date Akane for real.
Which brings us back to the moment they broke up. That chapter was titled "Going Astray" and we now saw where that wrong turn led Aqua: to his death.
So chapter 98, the Aqua/Akane break-up, is pretty much officially the chapter that leads us to the ending we got.
Which means that what I said back in this post still applies. If Aqua and Akane had been honest with each other during that phone-call in Chapter 97, things could've been different. But truth is, it's nearly pointless to think about it, because what this all comes down to is that Aka wanted this ending and he wanted it at all costs.
So nothing could have happened any other way, because Aka didn't want Aqua to be saved. He wanted Aqua to die so he could have his forced "bittersweet" ending.
This is why Aqua and Akane had to break up, it's why Akane is practically not allowed to interact with Aqua again after their break-up, and it's also why Akane never found out about Aqua being Goro's reincarnation.
Aqua was never meant to be saved, and Akane more than anyone could have saved him. So, of course, Aka couldn't allow her to do so. It's forced writing at its finest.
This is also why Akane isn't involved in Aqua's fatidic confrontation with Kamiki. While there is Aka's typical contrived writing involved in Akane leaving Aqua to his own devices at the most crucial moment, I do think it makes sense.
I've mentioned before that from the very beginning, Aqua and Akane's relationship has been based on trust and on choices.
Aqua once gave Akane a choice, trusting that she'd be able to choose what was best for herself. After Akane made her choice, Aqua did everything in his power to help her accomplish her goal.
Ever since, Akane has been trying to do the same for Aqua.
Akane wants Aqua to choose what's right for himself. She will always respect whatever it is that he chooses, as long as it is a true reflection of what he wants and needs. This is why Akane was eager to stop his plan to kill Kamiki, she could tell that Aqua was ready to sacrifice his own future to accomplish it.
That's why, once Aqua chooses to let Kamiki live, Akane is reassured.
Something has changed in Aqua. Akane notices this and believes that Aqua has, finally, chosen to not throw his life away just to deal with Kamiki. She trusts that he has.
Personally, I'd like to believe that Akane was right. Problem was that once Aqua knew for sure that Kamiki couldn't be saved, he switched back to his original plan. Something Akane couldn't have foreseen without knowing that Aqua was the reincarnation of a dude whose issues made him suicidal... which is yet another reason why Aka could have never let Akane find out about the whole reincarnation business.
So all in all, Aqua/Akane-wise, this is all well and good. On paper.
When it comes to the execution however, it leaves a lot to be desired, because Aqua/Akane is sadly majorly brought down by the spectacular way in which Aqua's character was (mis)handled during the second half of the manga.
The Bad
Goro has always been someone who thinks his life has no worth, and this belief is deeply ingrained into Aqua. That's why I could tell that his revenge plan likely involved killing himself and making it look like Kamiki did it.
I just didn't think that he would actually succeed, because it kind of goes without saying that the suicidal character getting to kill himself is far from being a satisfying ending. Even less so when said character has shown time and time again that he actually wants to live, he is just too broken by his guilt complex to believe he has that right.
For a while there, it even looks like Aqua will make it. That he has once again started to embrace that this is a life that he wants to live.
Sadly, once Aqua realizes that Kamiki can't be saved and that he poses a danger to Ruby, all of that flies off the window and "Goro" takes over. And by "Goro" I don't mean Goro the character, I mean all the bad habits that Aqua has due to his guilt-complex and survivor's guilt.
So Aqua goes and executes his original plan, killing himself instead of looking for a better solution. Which means he started off like this:
Only to end the manga pretty much the same way, except you can switch "If Ai's gone, this world isn't-" for "As long as Ruby can live on in this world."
Though, actually, it's even worse than that, because Aqua realizes that he was wrong — dying would bother him — only when it's too late.
It leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it's like Aqua had no development through the entire manga. Cut everything after his break-up with Akane and nearly nothing changes, except the motive behind Aqua throwing his life away: protecting Ruby (Sarina) instead of revenge.
It all feels even more pointless because Aqua's death rings hollow due to how badly his character was mishandled in the second half of the manga. After the break-up, Aqua becomes a "..." bot. His character isn't allowed to grow and neither is he allowed to explore his feelings in any meaningful way, to the point that he dies confused and not knowing who he was.
Pardon my bluntness, but how pathetic is this? 160+ chapters and literally none of this guy's issues were ever solved. His character goes nowhere, only so he can be sacrificed to make the ending bittersweet for Ruby. Though for me it wasn't even bittersweet; the ending fell flat on its face precisely because Aqua's character never goes anywhere, so it's hard to feel anything other than vague frustration and disbelief at how forced the writing is.
Even the Kami/Ai - Aqua/Akane parallels were wasted because both ships ended up in the exact same way: Akane and Ai both unable to save Aqua and Kamiki. I wouldn't even be surprised if those parallels are something Aka came up with on the spot while writing the Ai DVD.
I'm sure some Aqua/Akane truthers will say "all Aqua and Kamiki needed to be saved was to be with Akane and Ai, and Akane and Ai didn't realize that" and leaving aside my issues with that kind of co-dependency, once again, that's all well and good — on paper.
Sure, those of us who ship Aqua and Akane could see it that way if we wanted to, but... did Aka make a point of clearly stating this? No, he left it to the reader's imagination, which means it's just another blank to be filled with headcanon.
Personally, I'm pretty tired of doing that, because everything there is to like about the manga may as well just be the headcanons we have filled all those blanks with.
I always say that I prefer showing and not telling, but there's a limit to everything. Truth of the matter is, if this was supposed to be the case — and especially if it was supposed to be important — then showing isn't enough. Because the majority of readers aren't going to spend hours breaking down every single Aqua/Akane interaction to draw those parallels and reach that conclusion.
Aqua dying soothed by a song by his favorite idol (Ruby/Sarina) doesn't really do it any favors either, because fact of the matter is that people who were never invested in the Aqua/Akane relationship will just assume Aqua never loved Akane back. They'll be more distracted by Kana's tropey, shallow shoujo romance, and this is something Aka allowed in his manga right up to the very end.
Aqua and Akane were the only relationship in the entire manga that got mutual, gradual, organic, continuous development. But this all came to a halt when they broke up, so at the end of the day, they're mostly left up to interpretation.
It's underwhelming.
Most of all, if you ask me, it was a terrible move, because Aqua and Akane could've been the heart of this manga. If their feelings had been properly explored after their break up, if Aqua had been allowed to think of Akane in his last moments, if all this blank-filling had been actual text, they'd have been a tragic love-story for the ages.
But Aka didn't want it to be the heart of the manga, because he had already decided from the beginning that role should go to Aqua and Ruby. Alas, he completely failed at developing that, too, because to the very end there's only Goro and Sarina. That is the entire basis of the Aqua/Ruby relationship and dynamic, and it gets one single chapter where it's explored beyond that, only to immediately focus back on Goro and Sarina as Aqua lies dying.
Goro couldn't save Sarina in his first life, so he wastes his second to do it. He jumped at the chance to free himself of the burden of that guilt without even bothering to think of how much his death would hurt the very person he wanted to protect.
Which takes me to...
The Ugly
Turns out Kana was pretty much just a mixture between Fujiwara and Maki, after all. Except that unlike Maki, she never grows (Aqua literally has to die for her to do so) and unlike Fujiwara, she's overused instead of underused.
Aqua and Kana are portrayed as shallow to the end, and I'd even go as far as saying that the narrative pokes fun at Kana for it. Even during the funeral, she puts on a hat that's reserved for family members and it literally falls off her head when Miyako slaps her lmao
Since this is a manga and not real life, the way Kana's outburst was handled in that chapter is likely meant to be contrasted with the way Akane's own grief was handled, because it pretty much embodies all the differences between both of their relationships with Aqua through the manga.
Kana is focused on herself and on her pain. She thinks Aqua was murdered, but she still irrationally blames him for it, too blinded by her own pain. Aqua was murdered, but not being able to confess to him properly is still at the top of her list of grievances. She is also shown overplaying that one conversation she had with Aqua about Aqua having a death-wish, as if Aqua somehow agreeing to not say that he wants to die was some vital promise that he broke.
Meanwhile, Akane focuses on Aqua. On what Aqua felt, on why he did what he did, and on what he would have wanted. Even her wish to be by Aqua's side is expressed through Akane saying that she'd have been willing to shoulder his burdens with him, no matter where that led them. It is also Akane's understanding of Aqua that helps her to find some solace and to overcome his death.
Kana always looked at Aqua from the outside-in, idealizing and romanticizing him, while Akane was Aqua's partner in every sense of the word. That's why Akane gets all the insightful narration about Aqua while Kana just gets to make a fool of herself at his funeral.
So to the very end, the dichotomy between "Ai" and "Koi" does perfectly illustrates the contrast between the two sides of the Aqua love triangle.
Kana was infatuated with the Aqua that she built up in her head, and focused on what she wanted Aqua to do for her (support her unconditionally), and what she wanted to be for him (his only idol), rather than on Aqua himself as a person.
As for Aqua, during his last moments, most Aqua can say about Kana is that it might be good to respond to her feelings. Might. He spends the entire story knowing Kana is at his beck and call, he even makes fun of her for it (you're so easy to manipulate, yadda yadda), yet when the opportunity to date her presents itself, most he can say is essentially "it could be cool I guess." He even pictures her pulling on his arm to get his attention, while with Akane, he pictures himself facing her and looking straight at her.
So to Aqua, Kana was at most a teenage crush. His feelings for her weren't deep or relevant enough to have any sort of impact on his character, while he outright called the year he spent dating Akane his happy days. An entire year that he spent without Kana even being in his life, mind you. Meanwhile Kana was out there living an entire shoujo where she's the heroine and Aqua is the male lead 😂
That said, I still think Aqua, who I'm sure must've broken a record at being bad at understanding his own feelings, was likely mistaking admiration for romantic attraction, and that he would've realized this pretty early into dating Kana.
The anime is even clearer about this because Aqua's reactions to Kana are paralleled to Akane's who is, quite literally, a fan of Kana.
But even if he wasn't, it doesn't really matter, because it's shown very clearly that Aqua deeply values being understood (to him, it feels like salvation) and that Kana doesn't really understand him. So had they dated, Aqua would've had fun at first, sure, but his emotional needs wouldn't have been met; instead his job would've been to meet Kana's. It just would've never worked in the long term.
Now that the dust has settled, I can say for certain that if Aqua had been allowed to have a happy ending, it'd have been with Akane.
So once more, this is all fine on paper. The problem is that Aka takes it too far. The whole Kana business takes too much panel time for no discernible reason other than to... bait readers? I've even seen some say that Aka intended to mock them.
But even if that were the case, considering that those same readers are likely going to walk out of the story thinking Aqua and Kana are a tragic ship that loved each other because of all the bait, who's really the butt of the joke? Them or Aka himself?
Conclusion
I've always been pretty clear about being an Akane fan first and foremost. Despite all my Aqua/Akane meta, I had no emotional investment in whether she ended up with Aqua or not, as long as she got a satisfying ending. That said, by principle, I most definitely didn't want Aqua to end up with Kana, because that'd be like rewarding Kana for all her crying and whining when she never even tried to understand who Aqua was as a person and I've already gone through that in Naruto, thank you very much.
So the two silver-linings about this ending are that Akane stayed amazing to the end, and that Kana didn't have Aqua handed to her on a silver platter. But considering just how much panel time Kana's meaningless crush takes up in the narrative and how side-lined Akane got after the break-up, it feels like a pyrrhic victory lol
Akane is still the best thing about the manga, and I'd say that she got by far the best ending of the bunch. I'm not sure if I'd call it satisfying, because Akane's one goal was always to save Aqua and she didn't get to accomplish that. But at the very least, she got a good ending, all things considered. She got to protect what Aqua entrusted to her, and she got to show just how emotionally strong she is.
As for Aqua and Akane, AquaKane could've been incredible if only Aka had done them justice, but he didn't. I joked before that the Aqua/Akane development was so good that it's like it wrote itself, and I actually think that's exactly what happened. Aka made things up as he went along, and he allowed Aqua and Akane to develop together in ways he didn't necessarily plan nor foresee. But as soon as he started heading towards the ending he envisioned, he dropped the ship, likely because he had already established everything that would be relevant about them by then, and then proceed to leave a lot of it to the discretion of the readers.
While I'm sure that'll be enough for some, I'm afraid it's not really enough for me. If you were to ask me if I'm satisfied with the way they were handled, my answer would be: not really, but it certainly could've been worse lol
In my opinion, they're the biggest wasted potential in the manga (which is saying something, because the entire manga is wasted potential), and their potential was wasted simply because they're the ones who could've actually led us to a happy ending.
Aka didn't want that ending, though. He cared for his vision more than about his characters, and his vision was literally just an ending where poor Ruby would be a star that shines brighter "the darkest things get". Nothing else mattered. LMAO. As if Ruby hadn't already gone through enough!
Oh well, at least we're finally free!
#akane kurokawa#aquakane#aquaka#my aquakane meta#fandom: onk#it's finally over!!#I'm free!#I love you Akane but reading this manga was a nightmare lmao#I suspect some of this may not be what fellow aquaka fans want to read#but I've been honest about my thoughts all this time and I didn't want to be dishonest now lol
125 notes
·
View notes
Text
Eren didn't care about anything until he met Armin, whatever that means
#cl thoughts#which could mean nothing#people forget Armin wanted to go into the Survey Corps first#not eren#armin made eren realize he wasn't free#the intense boredom#the NEED for there to be something beyond#There is no real freedom in the sense he yearns for. It does not exist#But he'll always try to touch it#He's all humanity's rage personified#he is freedom in the material. He is that feeling pushed to its final form#yeah i got bored and started copy pasting some old analysis#anyways#eremin#erearu#eren jaeger#eren yeager#armin arlert
173 notes
·
View notes