#mmm the quality is so crunchy

[crystallizsch]

okay hi so listen hear me out

sea snake is a bit too obvious (and too boring)

so i made him based on some kind of lionfish??? (bc something something venomous marine animal) also with a LOT of creative liberties i made with how the fish looks like

let’s also give his fins some rips and tears here and there bc what are the implications of that??? that’s for you 🫵 to decide

anyways chat i lowkey dont know what i was doing

i had no other thoughts but haha funny snake man i turn into fish

[fracturedfamilyau]

To Cassidy

Do you think you’re a good person? 

What Qualifies As a Good Person?

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[devilishchaos]

aventuras em Miami | Rúben Dias Imagine

Rating / genre: M (18+); filthy smut, fluff

Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias

Summary: Y/N and Rúben go on a vacation with Rúben's friends, in Miami. Y/N surprises him with sex chocolate.

Warnings: Explicit smut, oral sex (f receiving), explicit talk, unprotected vaginal penetration (don't do it!!! stay safe!), hair grabbing, use of pet names "baby", "babe", size talk just for a sec

Word Count: 4 277 words

This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

The sunglasses that were once placed on top of your head, now sat on the bridge of your nose in order to block out the blazing rays of the sun on this record breaking, hot day in Miami. The sand underneath your feet felt soft, yet crunchy at the same time and very hot. A cool, light breeze had your hair blowing. The water was calm enough to be safe for those that wanted to play in the water, but still provided big enough waves for surfers to ride comfortably behind the scattered swimmers. In the sky there wasn’t a cloud in sight, which meant you were going to need help lathering sunscreen on your skin by your ever helpful and willing boyfriend - Rúben. 

Speaking of Rúben - him, Ivan and their two friends, Nuno and João, were currently riding jets in the middle of the ocean, so you used the opportunity to go explore the shop that caught your attention while you guys were making your way to the beach. A sex shop. Exciting. 

A red haired woman, approximately your age, looks up from the counter at the tinkling of the bell, signifying someone coming into the store. 

“Um, hello..“ you say timidly. 

“Can I help you?” she asks pleasantly, seeing you glance around the shop at all the various dildos and sex toys.

“I was wondering what these chocolates do..those over there..“ you pointed to the chocolate pieces, placed in front of the window, next to the front door. 

“Do you know what you’re looking for specifically?” 

“Mmm..not really.” you shake your head, “I’ve never used one. I want to surprise my boyfriend.” 

“Alright. Good choice by the way.” she smiled and pulled out, from underneath the till, a tray with said chocolates on display. “So this is pleasure-boosting dark chocolate with high-quality natural ingredients to increase your sex performance. It stimulates blood flow, enhances performance and increases sex drive. Consists of 60% dark chocolate, epimedium, maca root and DHEA. One block consists of two servings - one for you and one for your partner. You take it, wait 30 minutes and enjoy your time.” 

“I’ll take a pack, please.” you were really intrigued at this point. 

The employee wrapped it up nicely for you “Have fun.” 

“Thank you. Have a great day.” you smiled and made your way back to the beach. 

*

You were back at the hotel and were currently getting ready to go to dinner. 

“What did you do while we were jet riding?” Rúben asked you as he was coming out of the bathroom. 

“Umm..” you played with your earrings “I..got us..something.” you turned around to face him as he was putting his watch on his wrist. 

“You got us something?” Rúben looked at you puzzled. “And what is it?” 

“Chocolate.” you hold up the package for him to see. 

Rúben frowns, far away enough to not be able to read the words on the front “I could have bought you Reese's cups or something.” 

“This is not..It’s a different kind of chocolate..” you grin wickedly “..have you heard of tabs chocolate?” 

“Are they that fancy ass company that charges, like, $60 per bar?” Rúben puts his wallet in his pant’s pocket. 

“No.” you laugh “These have aphrodisiacs in them.”

“Aphrodisiacs?” your boyfriend hums with a furrowed brow “Isn’t that-?”

“It’s sex chocolate.” you finally reveal your secret to him “You up for a bit more exercise today?” 

“Sex-ercise you mean?” Rúben rushes to your side with a shit-eating grin, far too proud of his shitty joke. He's grabbing for the chocolates but you snatch them away, giggling. 

“We take them now and have to wait like 30 min, for it to kick in.” 

“Oh, spicy!” he laughs, tugging the box out of your hands, and scanning the cover “You want to take these now? See who can last longer without touching the other?” 

“How strong can this little square be?” you grumble, snatching the little foil squares from their places “Okay, break..” you snap the square in two “..bite..” you hold Rúben’s portion out for him, letting him take it from your hand. His trimmed beard prickles against your skin and you bite back a giggle, stuffing your mouth with chocolate instead. 

The chocolate is savory and bitter on your tongue, with just the right amount of sugar. You don’t get to swallow the chocolate and finish their signature slogan before Rúben has wolfed down his bar, tossing the package on the side table and surging for your lips “..bang.”

The kiss he drags you into nearly buckles your knees. It’s intense and hot, the chocolate coating his tongue and his fingers that dig into your waist as he tugs you closer, making it hard for you to breathe. 

“Mmf..Rúben!” you gasp, dragging in a lungful of air that he’d practically stolen from you with that kiss. He’s eager to touch you, to feel you, to taste you as his lips never part from your skin, dragging down your neck, to the spot just under your jaw that makes your stomach tingly. 

“Let’s get going or we will be late.” and with that you were up for an exciting evening. 

*

Dinner was absolute torture. 

Rúben always looks good in your eyes, but tonight he somehow looked even better. His sun kissed skin, peeking out from underneath his light blue shirt, made your head spin. His hand on your thigh seemed to leave a burnt imprint on your delicate skin. The air seemed to not be enough, no matter that you were seated outside. 

“How strong can this little square be?” my ass. You were currently beating yourself up internally as you were all seated in the V.I.P section in one of the most popular Miami nightclubs, a U-shaped couch with a table in the middle and then a small section in front of it for people to dance and mingle. You were sitting in the corner with Rúben, his arm around your shoulders as you both tried to seem relaxed. You had to admit, with uni and the internship and Rúben’s busy schedule, you didn't really get to spend much quality time with each other. So this vacation was more than welcomed. 

You were currently 3 drinks and 5 shots deep, laughing at something Ivan and Nuno were bickering over, when Rúben’s face suddenly got closer to yours as he whispered in your ear.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Okay.” you shot him a smile and pecked his lips quickly before he got up and left the area. You were kind of disappointed honestly, because you expected him to have broken your guy’s agreement two hours ago. 

“Come on, let's do some more shots.” you yelled over the music. Ivan grabbed the bottle of alcohol from the table and lined you both up with two shots each. 

“You guys are crazy, man.” Nuno shook his head. 

When Rúben returned, he found you and Ivan hysterically laughing, the half filled bottle of alcohol he'd left you with was now empty and a waitress was placing another bottle on the table. Rúben smirked to himself as he stepped closer to you and Ivan. 

“Hi, baby.” you rushed over to Rúben, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he grinned as you nodded, you both shared a sloppy kiss before you went back to dance with Ivan. 

Rúben mingled with his friends, spoke to a few people and was enjoying his evening as well when you plopped yourself down next to him, his hand naturally falling onto your thigh as you wrapped one arm around his forearm. 

“You okay, meu amor?” he turned to look at you, your head resting on his shoulder and your eyes closed. 

“You look so good right now..” you lured yourself into his lap. Lightly grabbing you by the neck Rúben pulled you into a kiss. 

As the kiss went on, it got deeper and more needy. Rúben slowly trailed his kisses off of your lips, kissing down your neck to your shoulders. He had rotated you to the front, with your back facing him. He was rubbing all over your thighs while still kissing on your neck. 

Without any words, Rúben grabbed your hips and started grinding your ass on his lap to the rhythm of the song. You knew what he wanted you to do, so his moves soon became your own. You took over grinding yourself into his lap, moving your hips to the beat. You could feel him rubbing and smacking your ass, and you were glad that it was almost too dark into the club so pretty much nobody could see you two. Rúben was clearly turned on, you could feel his hard on under you, ever so slightly brushing against your heat at times, making you go absolutely crazy for him. 

At this point Rúben was ready to take you home. He reluctantly slid you out of his lap only for the fact that his friends were soon gonna be flooding back into the section. He draped both of your legs over one of his and you leaned in to kiss him one last time. 

“Take me home, Rúben.” you both smiled before excusing yourselves and leaving the club. 

Rúben held onto your body as he navigated you through the club, your feet hurting from the shoes you were wearing and it was making it impossible for either of you to get very far without you needing to stop. Once you got outside, Rúben sat you in the car and helped you take off your shoes. The car you were in was luxurious, the seats were ridiculously comfy, so you instantly relaxed into them, your legs stretching out so your feet were resting on Rúben's lap as he sat opposite you. 

Back at the hotel, you had barely put your bag on the counter before you were pushed into it, a gasp left your mouth as Rúben trapped you. Hands on your shoulders, hips pressed into your ass, firmly keeping you in place. 

“I can’t believe you made us take these damn chocolates. I already wanted to fuck when we got home from the beach.” His deep voice in my ear. 

“Yeah..” I whispered softly, gripping the counter. Your head fell against his shoulder, his hands running over your front as he trailed kisses from your cheek to your neck. 

“How am I supposed to keep my hands off of you, hm?” he hums, his breath hot and heavy against your neck. He sucks a patch of skin just to the left of your throat, one that makes you grab the counter even harder “You’re so fuckin’ sexy, don’t need a chocolate to think that.” 

“I want you so bad, babe..” you whine and you take his hand. It's rough and strong from all the hard work he puts in the gym. It curls around yours and you lead him to your bedroom, letting him sit on the edge of the bed while you slip your dress off, leaving you only in your panties in front of his wild wandering gaze. 

“Come here..” Rúben calls softly and you get closer to stand in front of him, in between his muscular thighs. 

When his large hands slide up your thighs, smoothing over the fabric of your panties, you inhale deeply. He gives you a few moments of silence and they’re anything but comfortable. Tension is thrumming through every vein in your body, concentrated on whatever shapes Rúben's palms were drawing on your skin. He massages your thighs, but his thumbs edge up the curve of your ass, closer to their target. His fingers knead and squeeze at the soft flesh of your inner thighs, paying special attention to the hypersensitive skin between your cunt and your thighs. When he ghosts his fingernail over the crease there and you clench your thighs together, he knows he’s got you. 

Rúben gets up from the bed, your innocent eyes follow his every move. He places his hands on your waist and with one swift move you are already laying on your back, on the bed, and he is hovering over you. The second your lips are in his line of sight, he’s on them. His own press enthusiastically to yours, a heavy pant released into your mouth as he braces his knees on the mattress. 

“I can't fucking take it anymore.” he groans, choking out his words in between kisses. His tongue is sloppy, licking up your own like he’s trying to swallow it. 

You’re having trouble focusing with his tongue lapping sensually at your own in smooth, eager strokes and his fingers skillfully pinching at your left nipple. When you jolt into his touch, your hips buck up and you feel his hard cock against your eager core, through his pants. 

Rúben hums approvingly into the kiss, parting with a sloppy trail of saliva and speaking hotly against your lips “So needy..gonna grind this pussy all over me?” 

“Ahh yes..fuck me Rúben. Please, fuck me..” you manage to breathe out he sucks harshly at the skin of your neck. You accentuate your words with another desperate roll of your hips, grinding your clothed cunt over his bulge. He's straining in the fabric of his boxers, a fact that makes your mouth water, and Rúben tears himself away from your neck to wrestle with his undergarments.

He knows you’re aching, burning with desire, because he is, too. His cock bounces free of his boxers and stands hard, angled towards his stomach and oozing pre-cum. It’s the most sexy sight you’ve ever taken in, you will never get tired of it. 

Rúben hisses as his thumb carasses against your panties, his fingers slip beneath the hemline. He feels your slick soaking through the fabric at the slightest pressure from his single finger, revealing just how wet you’ve gotten while waiting for him. 

“Oh my God, you’re dripping, meu amor.” Rúben groans, his voice thick and lustful as his face screws up in concentration, his sexy accent coming through. 

“R-Rúben, pleasee..” 

Rúben chuckled against the waistband of your panties, his hands hooked there and he pulled them down slowly, the material making your legs tingle from how gently Rúben removed them from you. He shifted further down the bed so that his head was right between your legs, and he leaned in closer and closer..you jumped when the cool tip of his nose brushed against your core and Rúben shushed you gently. The noise sent a vibration through you and you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to sink into the sound, finding comfort within the very person, who was making your blood sing in your veins. 

Rúben dived right in for a taste. He kissed your inner lips the way he usually kissed your mouth and you gasped, your hips arching up off the mattress to get closer to Rúben’s touches. He tested the waters with kitten licks, slow and careful, and he groaned at the taste of you. Like a switch had been flicked, Rúben’s hands curl around the plush flesh of your thighs so he could hold you open as he pressed his face into your folds, his tongue now beginning to explore your folds with a heated passion unlike anything you had ever experienced. You couldn’t help but to squeeze your thighs around Rúben’s head and the man groaned yet again, the sound sent another shockwave through your core. 

“Ohh..Rú- Rúbenn..” his name fell from your parted lips like a prayer, as your pleasure heightened. You could feel the mattress beneath you moving as Rúben rutted into it at the same pace that his tongue moved against your core. 

“Ah, baby..” you gasp, face pinched in half ecstasy, half dread as he sucks at your clit “..please, no..I’m gonna- I’m gonna cum!”

“Do it.” he urges, tongue licking a long, wet, slick stripe up your cunt before diving back between your folds “Cum on my face, baby. Come on, give it to me.”

“No. Want- I want to cum..with you inside of me..please..I need- need your dick!” you reach for his face, sitting up in your pleasured haze. 

“You can have it.” he promises, fingers coming to bully your puffy clit while he focuses his tongue on your vagina “Later.” 

His nose rubbed against your clit with every movement, his hips stuttering now, the rhythm of his mouth broken, but desperate, and the coil within your stomach tightened. Your thighs clenched, your core did the same around nothing and that coil within you snapped. Your orgasm crashed over you, through you, like a tidal wave and for just a moment - your mind, body and soul all merged together and you saw stars. 

Rúben is eager to continue even when you’ve finished, licking and sucking desperately at your sensitive pussy. It feels good, but you’re almost too sensitive already and you’re not waiting another second for his cock. 

“No, no..I want- “ Rúben doesn’t let you tell him what you want - he doesn’t have to, he already knows. He knows what you really want is in between his legs, so he surges forward, locking his lips with yours and using the momentum to lay you back down onto the mattress. 

“Oh, fuck..” you breathe, feeling his cock nudge at your sensitive cunt immediately “..fuck me, babe, plea-” he slams into you with no hesitation, hips on a mission to fuse with your own as he rams his cock into you. The rhythm is relentless, more desperate than you’ve ever felt him before, and you clutch at his broad shoulders as he buries his face in your shoulder. 

“Fuck.” he huffs, a grunting, groaning mess “Ugh..you feel so good. Oh, God.” he pants, mouth falling open and tongue flattening against your neck, swiping up over your jaw. His mouth latches there, sucking harshly just beneath your ear at the curve of your jaw. His hips drive the same steady pace into you, filling you up impossibly deep with each pump of his cock. His dick so hot and mind-numbingly hard, probably achingly painful too, as he buries it inside of you to get relief. The more he thrusts the deeper he goes in, until he’s slamming into your sweet spot, balls landing heavy against the curve of your ass as he fucks into you. 

“Rúbenn..” you moan, nails scraping against the tan, toned skin of his back “..don’t- don’t s- stop!” 

“I'm so close, fuck..” he grunts, voice muffled slightly in what you suspect is shame. His libido is strong and he doesn’t usually finish this fast. But with the aphrodisiac in his system you’re not surprised he’s cumming quickly, nor are you put off by it. In fact, you’re exceptionally aroused by it. The feeling of him fucking into you so eagerly, so needy - it gets you going like nothing else. You feel another wave of pleasure begining to creep in. With the constant motion of Rúben’s thick cock and every flex of his tongue over your neck, as he sucks bruises into your skin, you feel your orgasm approaching. 

Apparently, the way that your nails dig into Rúben’s skin is encouragement for him as well. Your thighs tremble from the weight of your previous orgasm, and the impending pressure of your next one, his dick twitches like it’s painful for him to keep it together. 

“It’s okay, baby..” you pant, scraping a hand up his back to cradle the back of his neck. He's still suckling on your neck, tongue and teeth working in tandem to mark your skin “You can cum. Feels sooo good, ughh..you feel so fucking good!” 

Your encouragement seems to help and his dick twitches again. You tug on his hair and his thighs tense. You yank his head back with a fistful of his hair, pulling him out of your neck to kiss him and invite him to occupy his tongue with your own instead of your throat. 

The second your tongue brushes against his own, he cums. It’s like a dam bursting, every ounce of arousal he’d tried holding in, busting from his head straight into your incredibly wet pussy. You’re already slick enough from all of your own release, but his own gushes from the seam between his cock and your vagina. 

“Fuck me. Oh my God.” Rúben pants, the words flowing directly between your lips as he mouths at your mouth. He’s desperate to do something with his mouth, he always has been, and it’s no surprise that he’d taken his time to appreciate your pussy earlier.

He licks over your tongue, his own tucking to the inside of your cheek for a brief second before he sucks at yours again. It only makes your own arousal more intense, and before you know it, your second, possibly more intense orgasm is seizing you, tensing your muscles and spasming through you. 

Rúben cums for a long time, dick twitching and spurting cum the more he makes out with you, and the more your cunt convulses around him. Your kiss is sloppy, it’s messy, there’s drool leaking down the corners of your mouth, and that’s what makes it so effective to stretch out his orgasm. When you’re both sure you couldn’t cum more even if you tried, he slumps over your chest, his full weight on you as he lays panting on your sweaty skin. 

“Fuck..that- ” he groans, voice broken and raspy with strain “that was the best sex we’ve ever had.” 

“Mhmmm..” you nod lazily, enjoying a rare moment of breathing freely “..yeah, we need to use those chocolates again.”

“For sure.” he agrees, his beard prickling against the skin at the slope of your breast “I didn’t think it would work.” 

“I'm glad it did.” you said thoughtfully, and you feel Rúben shift against your thigh, his cock already half-hard again. He grinds it into you, what you think is accidentally, but his groan lets you know it felt nice. 

“Baby..” you start, but he’s already rubbing up against you once more, humping his hardening cock against your thigh.

“I need- I need a little more.” he almost whimpers, tightening his hold on your upper half “Babe, i need more..please.” 

“Okay.” you soothe, kissing his sweaty forehead “Okay, umm..I want to ride you.” You replied. Uttering the phrase felt like jumping over a mental fence. You basically had to force the words past your lips. Although, once they finally escaped, you felt much less shy about it. Speaking so boldly to him felt very empowering. 

“Fuck yes.” He replied and lied on his back next to you, patting his thighs for you to straddle. “Ride me.” He said. It wasn’t a suggestion, it wasn’t a question, it was a command. It makes your knees feel wobbly and your legs feel like jelly. 

You obliged, straddling his body. “Watch me.” You commanded back, your eyes meeting his and a moan escaped his lips. He sat up on his elbows and obeyed, watching as you slid your soaked core up and down his dick. 

“Oh my god, fuck!” His eyes widened and his hands grabbed at your thighs. 

You took his dick in your hand and slowly guided it to your entrance, sitting down on him and taking him deep into your core. 

“Oh, fuck..you feel so big.” You said. You felt a small sting as he stretched your walls, but carried on. 

“A-and your wet little pussy is so fucking tight.” The words barely escaped his mouth as he was breathless. He stayed propped up on his elbows to get a full view. 

You began to slowly rock your hips, grinding your clit against his pubic bone, feeling him twitching inside of you. You moaned at the sensation, but he moaned louder. 

“Fuck- move up and down..” He said, his eyes glued to the spot that your bodies collide “Let me see my dick disappear inside of you.” 

You gasped at his filthy mouth once again, but granted his wishes. You moved your legs around so that you could stand on your feet and began moving up and down, bouncing on his dick, feeling how he stretched you with each motion. The new angle gave you new pleasure, he was hitting spots you never even knew existed before. 

“O-oh my god, baby-“ your voice was shaking. You knew at this point you weren't going to last much longer. And quite frankly, he wasn't going to either. 

“Yeah? Feels good?” You barely heard him say through the fog of your pleasure. 

“Yes, Rúben! Fuck..feels- oh, so good..” You were unable to form words.

You shouted, unsure of what you were even saying, as pleasure overtook your entire body. 

Your vision went white and the world became a blur. You didn’t even know if he had finished - by the time you came to your senses it was all over. You had collapsed onto his chest and his arms were around you, as he whispered god knows what into your ear. You truly were on another planet.

“..so fucking good. You were so fucking good.” He praised you. 

“What?” You mumbled out, blinking your eyes a few times as you grounded yourself, which caused you to giggle. 

“Are you alright, meu amor?” Rúben asked you, a smile could be heard in his voice. 

“Wonderful.” You hummed. You didn’t want to move. Your body melted into his. “I like filthy sex with you, Rúbes.” 

“I like any kind of sex with you.” Rúben said as he kissed your forehead. 

[anony-man]

I had a lot of fun with this one… the pairing deserves more attention for sure 🥺 thank you for the request!

Chubformers drabble #204!

Characters: Chromedome & Rewind (IDW)

Word count: 1.1k

The small screen was flashing, the couch was comfy, and Rewind couldn’t be happier than he was snuggled up in his conjux’s lap with Chromedome’s belly acting as his own personal pillow. It had been ages since the two of them got out of the berthroom and indulged in some quality time like this, and they were well overdue for it. Everything was just about as perfect as perfect could be…

Not quite perfect, but close, because no matter how many mouthfuls of sweet and crunchy bits Rewind held up for his conjux to take, Chromedome always reverted back to the same pattern.

“So,” Chromedome said as he munched around the latest mouthful, “who did you say you were with when these tapes were recorded?”

Rewind’s tiny servos fell still against the flab of Chromedome’s belly bulging out around, and with a sigh, he gave his conjux’s thigh a gentle slap. Chromedome—who immediately hummed his apologies for interrupting for the umpteenth time, only to interrupt further as he lowered his helm and waited for another fistful of snacks to be fed to him—fell silent, his flustered amusement coming off in waves through his EM field.

“I don’t remember,” Rewind said after another mouthful had been fed. “Probably… oh, I don’t know. It’s been so long.”

Another content hum from his conjux as the chubby mnemosurgeon munched and crunched was all he received as his response this time around, and with Chromedome sated once more, Rewind settled back into the cushion of the soft, plush belly. He traced his digits up and down his lover’s frame and fondled the rolls of fat that stuck out around him, stopping only when the grumble of needy tanks beneath the flab or a hungry mouth waiting to be fed drew his attention away.

The screen the background was merely a distraction for Chromedome at the end of the day. Every time Rewind moved, the video would disappear, and the sound of Chromedome’s happy crunching followed the screen as it settled back in place against the wall.

This was the perfect downtime for them both, really. Chromedome eating, Rewind feeding him. Chromedome growing fatter, Rewind watching and feeling it happen in real time.

It was what a happily ever after story was all about for them both, even if Rewind had been around long enough to know that most happily ever after stories never ended quite like mechs thought they would. This was different, though. He had shouldered his own burdens, and Chromedome had suffered similarly. They were on the other side of it now, safe and sound, content to grow old together and fat together (if your name was Chromedome, that is), and nothing in the world could ever dare to stop—

“Mmm… Rewind?”

Rewind glanced up again, the video screen playing from his helm skewing across the wall. On reflex, he dug a servo into the treat bag sitting beside them… only to come back empty-handed.

When had that happened?

“Hungry today, are you?” Rewind asked as he sprawled across the couch and grabbed for another bag—something salty this time. Chromedome always ate more when there was a balance to his snacks. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Not for long,” Chromedome said, his disappointment still tangible through his tone. “I can wait.”

“Sure you can.” The bag tore open, and Rewind could have sworn he saw his conjux’s visor grow wider. “You don’t have to, though. Eat up.”

Chromedome didn’t have to be told twice. Really, he didn’t have to be told at all. One second Rewind was holding up a nugget of chocolate-coated goodness for him to take, and the next his conjux was sucking his digit’s clean and humming his satisfaction for the tasty sweet. Had he any less self-control, Rewind would have demanded they go back to the berthroom right then and there to finish off what they were starting.

Chromedome was far too big anymore to be moving so often, he quickly recalled. His conjux had grown out of his own armor three times already… slag, it’d been a chore just to get him out onto the couch in the first place. In other words, he had to savor this moment as it was happening, and he did. By feeding Chromedome more.

The movie was all but forgotten once the sweeter packages of Rewind’s endless snack storage had been opened, but neither mech was complaining—quite the opposite, really.

“It’s no wonder you keep asking about the film,” Rewind said as he fed handful after handful of sweet, sugary, fattening treats to his beloved conjux. “You’ve worked up an appetite as is coming all the way out here, let alone wracking your process for all of those silly questions…”

And a big appetite meant more food to pack into his big belly, which meant more weight to pack onto his big frame… Rewind distracted himself from the thought by stuffing his servo back into the snack bag, only to find—

Empty. Empty again.

“Geez, Domey,” he said with a servo patting his conjux’s belly and another reaching for—yet again—a new bag of chocolate covered sweets. “You really are hungry, aren’t you?”

Not to his surprise did he fail to get a response out of Chromedome, who looked just stuffed enough to have drifted back into the sleepy space between a food coma and dozing under Rewind’s touch. The minibot pried open the second bag of sweets faster than he had the first, if only to preserve the moment a little while longer.

His conjux could go on and on and on when it came to soft, sweet feeding like this… but he wanted to move to the berthroom soon. Besides, the movie hadn’t been all that interesting anyways.

After twisting themselves around a bit and turning off his video feed, Rewind kept himself busy with soothing Chromedome’s bloated belly and slipping small bites of chocolate treats past the sleepy mnemosurgeon’s lips. Chromedome was in utter bliss, as it seemed, and the minibot wasn’t far behind.

Like clockwork, the gentle feeding turned into feeding and soothing, which turned into soothing and cooing as Rewind gushed over his conjux’s soft, fat frame. Deft fingers knew just where to rub, and the more he worked, the sleepier Chromedome became. He had almost forgotten the reason they’d come out here to begin with, and had it not been for the discarded bags and the tick of saved audio feeds clicking back into their internal storage, he likely would have.

Chromedome was just so soft… so plump. Rewind couldn’t keep his servos off of him. Slag, he couldn’t keep his optics off, either.

“Movie’s over, Domey,” he murmured, his servos still working deeper into the paunch of Chromedome’s belly. “Come on, now… let’s take that chubby frame of yours back to berth next, huh?”

Imperfect movie might be damned. Truthfully, this was all Rewind could have ever wanted in the first place.

[aurasisle]

mmm dvd video quality so crunchy. I love watching movies on my ps2 at a crusty 480i

[positivelybeastly]

And now, a silly question for the Beasts: Would you be more likely to trust the food at a Chinese restaurant called "Chuck's" or at a fusion restaurant called "The Cajungle?"

"Well, the answer surely depends on what you mean by trust - do you mean trust as in, am I more willing to take a chance on an otherwise unknown restaurant and intrinsically trust in the quality of its food, based on the type and title of the establishment, or is this more based on food hygiene and likeliness to make me sick?"

"You're overthinking it. Chuck's, every time. Well. Scratch that, Chuck's every time I'm in NYC, I've never had a bad Chinese in New York, not once, but Salem, I had a few that made me queasy. So, Chuck's somewhere I know the Chinese is usually good, Cajungle somewhere I know it isn't."

"The Cajungle. Boudin balls, a good gumbo, properly prepared crawfish - Cajun cuisine is so very versatile and heady and rich in palate, and while I would never hope to talk down the virtues of a good Chinese dish, especially presumably one only enhanced by a pan-Asian approach to the food, my tastebuds just . . . mmm. I need to look up the nearest Cajun restaurant that delivers, now, you've inspired a mighty hunger in me."

"Hmmm. I suppose Chuck's? There's just something about a well done beef chow mein that hits the spot like little else. That umami, that savoury deliciousness that permeates every noodle, every snippet of meat, to say nothing of a crunchy spring roll or a gyoza dipped in soy sauce. Mmm . . . oh, blast, now I'm hungry."

"It quite truly couldn't matter less. Whatever arrives in the most easily disposed of boxes and has the greater quantity of food, if you must push me for an answer."

"Chuck's. You always get massive portions with Chinese restaurants, and they store well in refrigeration units."

[icaruseater]

Ranking the Common Chocolate Combinations: From Worst to Best 🍫

15. Tropical Fruit 🥭 : chocolate dipped pineapple, mango, or guava is just too much. They’re the 3 best fruits, but this is proof that too much of a good thing can be bad.

14. Marshmallow: I just don’t like these in general. Even soaked in decadent chocolate, I’ll pass.

13. Coconut Shreds 🥥 : like the rest of the tropical fruits, this w/ chocolate can be too sweet & one-note.

12. Banana 🍌 : I don’t even like these. But cooled, put on a stick, then dipped in dark chocolate? Hell yea.

11. Caramel: I used to think this combo was the worst, until I tried Tony’s Chocolonely Salted Caramel bar. DELICIOUS. An all time fave. Unfortunately, most other choco-caramel combos still suck.

10. Wine 🍷: this only tastes good when it’s a sweet red mixed w/ chocolate milk. You gotta do it yourself, the ratio should be about 2 parts choco milk 1 part wine. Don't buy the premixed stuff.

9. Pistachio: the Dubai chocolate bar, despite being named after one of the worst cities in the world, is divine. I know it can be kinda gauche to hype up an already TikTok-viral food, but that's a good one.

8. Mint: the fun thing about this one is the chocolate quality doesn’t even have to be good. The Olive Garden choco-mints are just Andes, they sell them in big packs at the dollar store. Additionally, I doubt Girl Scout thin mint cookies are made with finest quality ingredients. Still good tho.

7. Pretzel 🥨: I hate pretzels but could easily down a whole bag of chocolate-covered ones. Bonus points if they’re peanut butter filled pretzels 😍

6. Macadamia Nuts: the superior nut-choco combo.

5. Strawberry 🍓 : fresh or freeze-dried, chocolate strawberries are classic, tasty, and allegedly an aphrodisiac 👀

4. Peanut Butter 🥜 : I was sleeping on this combo for a long time. It’s marvelous. The only caveat is that the chocolate quality has to be good. Reese’s are fine, but I think they’re the reason why i didn’t love this combo for so long. The chocolate is just a little off.

3. Coffee ☕️: Mocha. Tiramisu. Enough said.

2. Raspberry: Behold, the superior fruit-choco pair. Unfortunately, this often gets outshined by its prettier, easier to work with sister (the aforementioned strawberry). But the tangy tartness of these berries pairs perfectly w/ chocolate!

1. Potato Chips: the GOAT. Salty, crunchy, sweet, so snackable. You don’t even have to get the premade chocolate-covered ones (those can be hard to find anyway). I simply Ratatouille it by taking a bite of the chocolate & then the chip. MMM. Or you could place a square of chocolate on the chip, if you’re polite.

[glassesblu]

(I am shameless no anon we go out like men [wheeze]

ime I noticed I got a lot less anon hate when it was clear I just wasn't gonna engage directly with it so whether that's me getting lucky or not gl my dude I hope u get a bunch of excited people in your box as well tho !!)

ok your panelling is so good like mmm chefs kiss I am in awe of the way you do the layouts like 👀 they flow so well ??? Hella nice hell yeah :0

and the lads are so Shaped(tm) in your style everyone else has said already but like they are some crunchy shapes and ofc chad thicc ingo enjoyer absolute quality let's go 👏👏

and your colours in the recent comic are so nice as well they are like warm and soft and vibe well aaaaa

may you experience overwhelming support and only fake/mock hate if at all :>

Hiiii Dingo! I love your art :throws hearts at you: I just follow you on my main blog so its different from this blog X) (I can tell you which if you want to know haha)

But yeah that makes sense to me! Anti's kind of want to wave their sticks around trying to hurt people I guess? Like X) what does that achieve? But i'm happy that i've met some good people to talk to here so fuck em :) I'm having fun and they're busy not having fun.

Also thank you! Im surprising myself drawing so many comics for this ship when it's been a while since I've done comics at all! But comics are my favorite art things to do so I am very pumped! Hope to make more submas comics!

Also yes!!! I love your thick Ingo's too >:) And I said so on twitter but you gave him such meaty legs >:) Verrrry powerful. Very good titty muscles and abs on him too >:) Huzzah huzzah! Very Spizy Ztuff!

Sending you good vibes as well, Dingo! Ta, take care take care!

[bakingthedetectives]

What the Dickens!? A Totally Not Poisoned Victoria Sponge for Mrs Maguire

"There's a Victoria sponge as well. I like to think of it as my trademark recipe.You can buy it now, if you like, Miss Kendall. It's only a shilling."

You can’t possibly get better than a Victoria sponge and a cup of tea. To me it means comfort, childhood birthday cakes and Britishness. You could put the most magnificent specimen made by Wonka himself in front of me and I’d still go back to a Victoria sponge cake made by my mum. There are now hundreds of recipes out there for this cake, all more or less the same, but it’s still worth narrowing it down to the basics. As always this isn’t meant to be THE BEST recipe because what’s best for me might not be best for you, but what I have tried to do is bring together as many recipes as possible to provide you with my ‘go to’ Victoria sponge cake recipe. Butter or Margarine? The majority of recipes that I’ve seen out there use butter, but there are a few that advocate margarine. Jo Wheatley, winner of the GBBO, uses Stork margarine after Mary Berry introduced her to it. I have used margarine and it does give a lighter texture, and it can’t compete with good quality butter for flavour, but I still think Stork is best for the job. The texture is lighter, the sponge is bigger, and while it may not have such a full flavour it still tastes as good as a sponge should. Stork is ideal for those times when you just need a sponge cake and decide to make one at midnight, as its already smooth and pliable. With butter you would have to leave it out at room temperature for half a day (or carefully warm it in the microwave) before it’s smooth enough to use. If you’re struggling to get the right consistency with the mixture because the butter was too stiff you could try adding a drop or two of milk to loosen it to the perfect consistency. Or, another top tip I've picked up is to melt the butter completely, let it solidify again in the fridge and then use it because it always retains some softness after it's been changed and I find it whips up better. 

The Dry Ingredients  Where would we be without baking powder? Not making Victoria sponge cakes that’s for sure. The majority of recipes out there opt for self-raising flour because it comes ready with baking powder inside it. A lot of recipes just leave it there but a few add an extra teaspoon of baking powder to really fluff it all up. Personally I like to add the extra teaspoon because you can’t taste it, it doesn’t ruin anything and it makes the cake fluffier with what bakers like to call ‘a good rise’ (no sniggering at the back there please, come on now). Method, weights and measures  Our Victorian baking hero Mrs Beeton gives us the basic recipe for Victoria sponge in her 1861 Book Of Household Management. In her recipe the cake is made by weighing the eggs, then using that weight for the remaining ingredients. So if, for example, the weight of the eggs came to 200g you would then use 200g butter, 200g sugar and 200g flour. I like this because it requires very little effort and hardly any remembering if you don’t have a recipe in front of you. It’s also good if you aren’t sure of the weights of your eggs, as many these days come in all different sizes. Large eggs are the best to use here though. This is the generally approved method, although the other main method includes having a fixed amount for the top three ingredients, and varying the amount of eggs accordingly. For example, Delia Smith’s sponge cake uses 115g of the butter, sugar and flour and then has two eggs, whereas Donal Skehan’s Victoria sponge cake uses 225g of the butter, sugar and flour and 4 eggs. If it was me I’d add another egg yolk to that last recipe, as Jo Wheatley does with her Victoria sponge cake. I think it adds a nice colour and richness. Generally then the butter and sugar are creamed together for as long as possible until the mixture turns almost white. It does eventually get there but if you’re using a wooden spoon you’ll have to be patient with it. Then the eggs are beaten together and added gradually with a small amount of the flour. Mrs Beeton says ‘one egg beaten well is worth two not beaten’ and I think she’s right! Then the flour is gently folded in and that’s it. Delia Smith goes for the all in one method which simply piles all of the ingredients into the bowl and mixes them. This is good in a fix but a Victoria sponge is worth taking time over. 

 Flavourings and Fillings  Obviously vanilla is the predominant flavour here. Vanilla extract is preferable over vanilla essence (which is usually just water), and if you can get it vanilla bean paste is well worth the addition. If you’re using the liquid vanilla extract I’d go for a teaspoon, and if using vanilla bean paste go for ½ teaspoon as it’s quite strong. Now, a lot of people like buttercream with their sponge cakes, and for a long time I did too. But recently I’ve gone over to the WI’s side of things with fresh cream. I’m not sure why I prefer it but it’s definitely a crowd pleaser! I like to add some icing sugar to my cream. Barney Desmazery adds caster sugar to his which seems a bit bizarre. I don’t want crunchy cream! I have to say adding creamy flavours does work with sponge cakes though, so buttercream is always a good option too. Also I’m considering fresh peaches with cream as a filling. Mmm.

The standard is strawberry or raspberry jam. I prefer raspberry if you're using shop bought as strawberry can be a little cloying, but if you're making your own I'd definitely go strawberry. 

In 'Sidney Chambers and the Perils of the Night' by James Runcie, Mrs Maguire makes a Victoria sponge for the summer fete that she's very proud of. There was an incident the previous year where her Victoria sponge was the last to sell, and so to save his landlady from any embarrassment, Sidney decides to buy up the cakes she has made. Then there's an incident with some poisoning which we shan't go into, and suspicion falls upon the Victoria sponge! Thankfully this recipe is poison free and will see you through many a summers day! For the sponge  225g Stork margarine 200g caster sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 4 large eggs plus 1 large egg yolk 225g self-raising flour 1 tsp baking powder For the filling  150g strawberries 75g caster sugar  some water, about a tablespoon  250ml whipped cream  Caster sugar, for sprinkling  Instructions 

Preheat oven to 180C. Grease two 20cm sandwich tins and line the base and sides with non-stick baking paper. Weigh out the flour and baking powder and set aside. In a large bowl, or in the bowl of a standing mixer (I love my Kitchenaid) cream together the margarine, sugar and vanilla until very light and fluffy. The mixture will be really pale and you’ll be able to see little air pockets in it. Beat the eggs and yolk together and add slowly to the mixture with a tablespoon of the flour mixture. Gently fold in the flour until fully combined. Divide the mixture between the tins, smooth the surface with a spatula then bake for about 20 -25 mins until golden and the cake springs back when pressed. Leave in the tins to cool for 5 minutes, then carefully turn out to cool on a wire rack. To make the jam, chop the strawberries and add to the saucepan with the sugar and water. Cook over a low heat, until the strawberries have broken down and the mixture is thicker and clings to the back of a spoon.  Whip the cream and spread over one of the sponges, then dot with the jam and spread it around. Top with the other sponge layer and sprinkle the top with some caster sugar.  

[gelasssoek]

Elotes. A day in the life of business owner/elotero Eusebio Rivera. We take a closer look at what it takes to prepare a quality elote, the importance of building. The site owner hides the web page description.

Kids who go to school who don't have street vendors, are missing out an a whole life experience. #raspados #elotes #frutas #dulcesmexicanos. El elote, choclo o jojoto es la mazorca fresca del maíz, cuyos granos reservan humedad. Recibe distintos nombres según las zonas geográficas: En México y Centroamérica (excepto Panamá), se le llama elote, palabra que proviene del náhuatl elotitutl ('mazorca tierna'.

Hey everyone, it is John, welcome to our recipe page. Today, I will show you a way to make a distinctive dish, elotes. It is one of my favorites food recipes. For mine, I am going to make it a little bit unique. This is gonna smell and look delicious.

A day in the life of business owner/elotero Eusebio Rivera. We take a closer look at what it takes to prepare a quality elote, the importance of building. The site owner hides the web page description.

Elotes is one of the most well liked of recent trending meals in the world. It's enjoyed by millions daily. It is easy, it is fast, it tastes yummy. Elotes is something that I've loved my entire life. They're nice and they look fantastic.

To begin with this particular recipe, we must first prepare a few ingredients. You can have elotes using 11 ingredients and 4 steps. Here is how you can achieve it.

The ingredients needed to make Elotes:

{Take of food.

{Get ears of corn.

{Take of mayonnaise.

{Prepare of sour cream.

{Make ready of chili powder.

{Make ready of paprika.

{Take of tajin.

{Prepare of parmesan cheese.

{Get of materials.

{Prepare sticks of wooden.

{Make ready of pastry brush.

Elote (Nahuatl: elotl) or choclo (Quechua) is a popular street food served in Mexico. It consists of a roasted The customers at the table can choose elotes and toppings according to their preference. Elote en vaso, also known as corn in a cup, includes fresh corn, lime juice, crema Mexicana, and cotija cheese for a sweet, crunchy, and hot snack. All Reviews for Corn in a Cup (Elote en Vaso).

Steps to make Elotes:

Boil or grill your corn and let it cool before inserting sticks at the bottom.

Use your pastry brush to apply sour cream+ mayo to the corn.

Sprinkle chili powder, tajin + paprika over it.

You can also add parmesan + lime juice if you want !.

Discover more posts about elotes. #elote #yummy #corn #elotes #mm mm good #mmm #yummy food #mexican food #dirt dog #@foodieonfleek. Elotes preparados y elotes en vaso que se han venido complementando con el tiempo con ingredientes y aderezos de creación propia, experimentando con diferentes ingredientes. Download Elotes stock photos at the best stock photography agency with millions of premium high quality, royalty-free stock photos, images and pictures at reasonable prices. This is among the best things you You know you're Mexican if you get excited when hear that elotero horn. Do you love Elotes (Mexican. elotes recipes.

So that's going to wrap it up for this special food elotes recipe. Thank you very much for your time. I am confident you can make this at home. There's gonna be more interesting food at home recipes coming up. Don't forget to bookmark this page on your browser, and share it to your loved ones, colleague and friends. Thank you for reading. Go on get cooking!

[sallyschocblog]

Octo Chocolate, creators of organic, vegan, craft chocolate are a company of many talents. Why do I say this? I say this because not only do they produce fine, classic chocolate bars – such as their Ecuadorean, 70% dark bar (see my YouTube review of it here) but they also make some tasty snacks combining raw cocoa with nuts and fruits! This means that yes, you can have your much needed chocolate fix, while at the same time, ticking off some of your body’s other nutritional needs along the way! What a win.

Today I am comparing two of their top products, which are ‘brazil nuts coated in raw chocolate with coconut water’ and ‘dates coated in raw chocolate’. For this blog post, I’m going to decide which product is my ‘on-the-go, luxurious but healthy’ snack of choice!

Starting with the dates. After unwrapping the beautiful packaging, I’m greeted by little rocky, brunette chunks! As I bite into them, they soften to reveal the fruity, delicate date within. They are coated in a light almost powdery textured raw cocoa, which is dark, at 65% and is strong and temptingly rich in flavour. Although slightly bitter, this is evened out with the sweetness of the date, which is also gooey and like a fruity caramel. An enjoyable experience, with all the flavour, but less guilt you’d get from a filled chocolate!

Moving on to the brazil nuts. At first I approached with slight caution – having never really been tempted by brazil nuts before. But…. I was definitely pleasantly surprised, and enjoyed a good ‘mmm!’ on first tasting! The cocoa and nut combination is insanely good. The flavours are luxurious and rich. The nutty, crunchy texture is especially enjoyable, enrobed in velvety and smooth cocoa, finished with a subtle spray of coconut water adding to the lightness and sweetness. These nuggets are so moorish! I find myself going back for more!

After experiencing both of the tempting treats, the resulting winner in my opinion has to be…..the brazil nuts coated in raw chocolate with coconut water! As delicious as the dates were, the nuts just had the edge with the great flavour combination, and they won me over, not just as a health food, but a health food with really good wholesome flavour! You wouldn’t even need to eat these just for health, but sheer enjoyment! Delish, thank you Octo Chocolate.

So there we have it, as the expression goes, we surely can have our cake and eat it! (Although in our case chocolate)! Octo have nailed the health chocolate treat, without compromising on flavour or quality ingredients!

You can check out the full range at: www.octochocolate.co.uk or if you prefer to shop in the traditional way you can purchase it from Planet Organic stores! Shop online this weekend only (closing 21/04/18) using code Sally15% and get a 15% discount, courtesy of yours truly!

It’s a cocoa-coated world out there guys! Over and out, and until next time X

Octo Chocolate: Luxury On The Go Octo Chocolate, creators of organic, vegan, craft chocolate are a company of many talents. Why do I say this?

[thepalladiantraveler]

Rome, as the saying goes, was not built in a day; nor a week, month or year for that matter. Like slow food, Caput Mudi, as she was called back in the day when the Caesars (Emperors) ruled the empire, learned to take her sweet time once she became the epicenter of the known world.

Augustus Caesar to Romulus Augustus aside, the Caesars of modern-day Rome are the varied staples of la cucina romana (the Roman kitchen). And, there is no better place in all of Rome to sample her bounty than along the cobblestone of Trastevere, the Eternal City’s quintessential neighborhood just across the Tiber River; and, there is no better way to do so than in the company of 11 other like-minded travel/foodie writers invited to experience Roma in the throes of winter on the third annual #WinterinRome blogging event.

This 72-hour, customized assaggio (taste) of the sights, sounds and savors of Rome is the brainchild of Linda Martinez, owner of The Beehive — an upscale hostel/budget boutique hotel conveniently located just two blocks from the Termini train station — and sponsored by a handful of English-speaking tour operators eager for our collective ink: BonAppetour, Personalized Italy, The Roman Guy, Context Travel and Eating Europe Food Tours, where our #WinterinRome narrative continues.

Led by Mimmo, our effervescent, expat guide from Philadelphia — and the owner/operator/lead singer of Tram Tracks, where food, wine and live classic rock combine to create a party atmosphere inside a rolling antique tram through the streets of Rome — we jump-start our early morning get-together with a cup of strong espresso taken at Berti’s Antica Caffetteria, our meet-up point along Via Natale del Grande, the first stop on a ten-stop, five-hour foodie tour of the Trastevere.

Quicker than you can say, “Caffe macchiato, per favore,” we move next door to Pasticceria Trastevere, home to the neighborhood’s revered bigne (cream puffs) filled with zabaglione cream that have been prepped by Signora Vera since the 1970s. The locals say they’re divine, and so do we.

Turning right onto Via di San Francesco, we enter into a world of hanging prosciutto (cured ham) and rounds of pecorino romano cheese the size of Pirelli radials at Roberto Polica’s Antica Caciara. A Trastevere institution since 1900, it’s where locals head when they need a cured meats/salami/cheese fix. We’re offered a sample of Roberto’s fine fare and it’s all hands on deck.

Best known by tourists for its nightlife, Trastevere is renowned for its hand-held street food, too. And, there’s none better than piping-hot supplì, deep-fried rice balls filled with mozzarella cheese and an optional tomato sauce. These lip-smackin’ morsels are served up morning, noon and night at I Supplì, a hole-in-the-wall snack joint along Via di San Francesco.

“In summertime,” intones Mimmo, “i romani head up to the Castello Romani hill towns to escape the city heat and to also enjoy one of the area’s signature dishes: porchetta.” He adds, “It’s a deboned pork belly, seasoned, rolled, skewered on a spit and roasted to perfection.” Well, it’s not summertime along Via del Natale Grande, but porchetta rules, regardless of the weather, at the Antica Norcineria delicatessen where proprietor Piero Tacozzilli serves up slices of his own farm-raised, slow-roasted, aromatic pork placed atop crunchy artisan bread. According to the man-on-the-street, Piero’s porchetta is the absolute best to be found anywhere in the city.

At the top of Via del Natale Grande we hang a left and stride into Piazza di San Cosimato’s open-air market. Mimmo gathers some fresh fruit from Concetta and Pietro’s stand, while plates of cheese are offered up from Adamo and Emiliano’s 700 delicatessen, so named because there are precisely 700 windows that look down upon the piazza from all of the surrounding buildings. Our short picnic in the square makes it six stops thus far, but our foodie tour through Trastevere doesn’t stop here.

Rumor has it that gourmet and organic gelato arrived on the scene in Rome courtesy of Fatomorgana, a chain of six gelaterie (ice cream parlors) located around the Eternal City. Offering fresh, natural gelato with a gourmet twist, Fatomorgana creates flavors not found anywhere else in the city: basil, walnut and honey, black rice and rosebuds, and chocolate with tobacco, to name a few. It’s a gelato-lover’s paradise at Via Roma Libera 11 as our party of 12 queues for a complimentary cone or cup of Fatomorgana‘s creations. Mmm.

Dessert taken, we now head for il pranzo (lunch). I know, it’s like placing the cart before the horse, but the carrot(s) that Mimmo dangles in front of us to keep us moving forward — past a group of elderly men playing cards, through Piazza Sant’Apollonia, and down a few winding, graffiti-tagged alleyways — is a duet of tried-and-true pasta dishes of Rome: cacio e pepe (cheese and pepper pasta) and rigatoni all’amatriciana (pasta tossed in a sauce made with pig’s cheek), served up quickly by Giovanni at Ristorante Casa Mia in Trastevere along Via della Rinella. The two dishes, prepped to perfection, along with glasses of DOC-rated wine, are just delightful. SALUTE!

Eight down and only two more stops to make, we’re off to see how the cookie crumbles at Innocenti, a family-run, artisan biscotti house that’s been serving up these tasty, twice-baked sweets along Via della Luce since 19-and-29. According to Stefania, the latest Innocenti to prep the dough and run the huge oven, “If you ate our cookies 50 years ago, they taste more or less the same today.” Displaying a tray of just-baked goodies, she adds, “Artisan products like ours require quality ingredients; but, honestly, the most important ingredient is love.”

And we end our foodie tour of Trastevere on a high note as we stroll up narrow Vicoli dell’Atleta and enter a stately house, accented by a loggia and columns, that once served as an 11th century Jewish synagogue, but now is home to Spirito di Vino, an award-winning restaurant that contains Rome’s most ancient wine cellar. According to owner Romeo Catalani, “The cellar pre-dates the Colosseum, which was officially opened in 80 A.D., by some 160 years.” Born-on-dates aside, we tour the cellar way down below, containing fine wines from around the world, then return above ground for a dish of Chef Eliana’s superlative creme brûlée and a glass of sweet vin santo.

For complete information on Eating Europe Food Tours, including four guided tours, cookery classes and wine-tastings around Rome, just log on to their website HERE.

See you in Piazza Colonna when the sun goes down as #WinterinRome continues with a cocktail tour along the cobblestone with The Roman Guy.

©ThePalladianTraveler

_________________________________________________________________

Winter in Rome: A Foodie Tour through Trastevere Rome, as the saying goes, was not built in a day; nor a week, month or year for that matter.

[thepalladiantraveler]

Rome, as the saying goes, was not built in a day; nor a week, month or year for that matter. Like slow food, Caput Mudi, as she was called back in the day when the Caesars (Emperors) ruled the empire, learned to take her sweet time once she became the epicenter of the known world.

Augustus Caesar to Romulus Augustus aside, the Caesars of modern-day Rome are the varied staples of la cucina romana (the Roman kitchen). And, there is no better place in all of Rome to sample her bounty than along the cobblestone of Trastevere, the Eternal City’s quintessential neighborhood just across the Tiber River; and, there is no better way to do so than in the company of 11 other like-minded travel/foodie writers invited to experience Roma in the throes of winter on the third annual #WinterinRome blogging event.

This 72-hour, customized assaggio (taste) of the sights, sounds and savors of Rome is the brainchild of Linda Martinez, owner of The Beehive — an upscale hostel/budget boutique hotel conveniently located just two blocks from the Termini train station — and sponsored by a handful of English-speaking tour operators eager for our collective ink: BonAppetour, Personalized Italy, The Roman Guy, Context Travel and Eating Europe Food Tours, where our #WinterinRome narrative continues.

Led by Mimmo, our effervescent, expat guide from Philadelphia — and the owner/operator/lead singer of Tram Tracks, where food, wine and live classic rock combine to create a party atmosphere inside a rolling antique tram through the streets of Rome — we jump-start our early morning get-together with a cup of strong espresso taken at Berti’s Antica Caffetteria, our meet-up point along Via Natale del Grande, the first stop on a ten-stop, five-hour foodie tour of the Trastevere.

Quicker than you can say, “Caffe macchiato, per favore,” we move next door to Pasticceria Trastevere, home to the neighborhood’s revered bigne (cream puffs) filled with zabaglione cream that have been prepped by Signora Vera since the 1970s. The locals say they’re divine, and so do we.

Turning right onto Via di San Francesco, we enter into a world of hanging prosciutto (cured ham) and rounds of pecorino romano cheese the size of Pirelli radials at Roberto Polica’s Antica Caciara. A Trastevere institution since 1900, it’s where locals head when they need a cured meats/salami/cheese fix. We’re offered a sample of Roberto’s fine fare and it’s all hands on deck.

Best known by tourists for its nightlife, Trastevere is renowned for its hand-held street food, too. And, there’s none better than piping-hot supplì, deep-fried rice balls filled with mozzarella cheese and an optional tomato sauce. These lip-smackin’ morsels are served up morning, noon and night at I Supplì, a hole-in-the-wall snack joint along Via di San Francesco.

“In summertime,” intones Mimmo, “i romani head up to the Castello Romani hill towns to escape the city heat and to also enjoy one of the area’s signature dishes: porchetta.” He adds, “It’s a deboned pork belly, seasoned, rolled, skewered on a spit and roasted to perfection.” Well, it’s not summertime along Via del Natale Grande, but porchetta rules, regardless of the weather, at the Antica Norcineria delicatessen where proprietor Piero Tacozzilli serves up slices of his own farm-raised, slow-roasted, aromatic pork placed atop crunchy artisan bread. According to the man-on-the-street, Piero’s porchetta is the absolute best to be found anywhere in the city.

At the top of Via del Natale Grande we hang a left and stride into Piazza di San Cosimato’s open-air market. Mimmo gathers some fresh fruit from Concetta and Pietro’s stand, while plates of cheese are offered up from Adamo and Emiliano’s 700 delicatessen, so named because there are precisely 700 windows that look down upon the piazza from all of the surrounding buildings. Our short picnic in the square makes it six stops thus far, but our foodie tour through Trastevere doesn’t stop here.

Rumor has it that gourmet and organic gelato arrived on the scene in Rome courtesy of Fatomorgana, a chain of six gelaterie (ice cream parlors) located around the Eternal City. Offering fresh, natural gelato with a gourmet twist, Fatomorgana creates flavors not found anywhere else in the city: basil, walnut and honey, black rice and rosebuds, and chocolate with tobacco, to name a few. It’s a gelato-lover’s paradise at Via Roma Libera 11 as our party of 12 queues for a complimentary cone or cup of Fatomorgana‘s creations. Mmm.

Dessert taken, we now head for il pranzo (lunch). I know, it’s like placing the cart before the horse, but the carrot(s) that Mimmo dangles in front of us to keep us moving forward — past a group of elderly men playing cards, through Piazza Sant’Apollonia, and down a few winding, graffiti-tagged alleyways — is a duet of tried-and-true pasta dishes of Rome: cacio e pepe (cheese and pepper pasta) and rigatoni all’amatriciana (pasta tossed in a sauce made with pig’s cheek), served up quickly by Giovanni at Ristorante Casa Mia in Trastevere along Via della Rinella. The two dishes, prepped to perfection, along with glasses of DOC-rated wine, are just delightful. SALUTE!

Eight down and only two more stops to make, we’re off to see how the cookie crumbles at Innocenti, a family-run, artisan biscotti house that’s been serving up these tasty, twice-baked sweets along Via della Luce since 19-and-29. According to Stefania, the latest Innocenti to prep the dough and run the huge oven, “If you ate our cookies 50 years ago, they taste more or less the same today.” Displaying a tray of just-baked goodies, she adds, “Artisan products like ours require quality ingredients; but, honestly, the most important ingredient is love.”

And we end our foodie tour of Trastevere on a high note as we stroll up narrow Vicoli dell’Atleta and enter a stately house, accented by a loggia and columns, that once served as an 11th century Jewish synagogue, but now is home to Spirito di Vino, an award-winning restaurant that contains Rome’s most ancient wine cellar. According to owner Romeo Catalani, “The cellar pre-dates the Colosseum, which was officially opened in 80 A.D., by some 160 years.” Born-on-dates aside, we tour the cellar way down below, containing fine wines from around the world, then return above ground for a dish of Chef Eliana’s superlative creme brûlée and a glass of sweet vin santo.

For complete information on Eating Europe Food Tours, including four guided tours, cookery classes and wine-tastings around Rome, just log on to their website HERE.

See you in Piazza Colonna when the sun goes down as #WinterinRome continues with a cocktail tour along the cobblestone with The Roman Guy.

©ThePalladianTraveler

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Winter in Rome: A Foodie Tour through Trastevere Rome, as the saying goes, was not built in a day; nor a week, month or year for that matter.