#ok but why pills
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ok but i think James literally cannot swallow a pill. doesn’t matter how small it is or how much water he drinks, he cannot swallow it for the life of him.
Regulus, on the other hand, will literally down multiple pills without needing to drink water at all.
#james is convinced it’s a super power#ok but why pills#they are the bane of my existence#marauders era#dead gay wizards#regulus black#james potter#starchaser#jegulus#sunseeker#headcannons#jegulus headcannon#hc
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Red Robin Au where after Battle for the Cowl, Jason (instead of donning that ridiculous pill helmet) goes back to visit Talia and blow off some steam with the LOA; it's an effective way to do so at first, as long as he keeps Ra's at arms length and has all the Bats away from him. Except is that Timothy fucking Drake working with Ra's al Ghul.
So now Jason's like oh my god are you kidding me why is Tim here working with Ra's of all people??? Last he checked, Dick was Batman now and Tim was part of that gaggle of Robins in Gotham. Not here, in Nanda Parbat.
Tim, fresh from a splenectomy: Jason?!
Jason: What the fuck are you doing here?
Tim: ??? I could ask you the same question??
Jason: No the fuck you couldn't?? I trained with Talia and now I'm back here for a bit, and I'm not the one missing an organ right now?! Why aren't you back with Dickbat in Gotham??
Tim: Well. Let's say I'm not Robin anymore
Jason: ... Not... Robin?
Tim, scowling: Dick gave it to Damian.
Jason: Dick is Batman for like a month and already gave the traffic light leggings to a mini assassin? Nice.
Tim: Ugh
Jason: And... this was enough reason to run away and get impaled by assassins in Iraq? While working with Ra's al Ghul?
Tim: Well, not really. I need to find Bruce, and Ra's is the only one who will help me. Even if he's a freak of nature.
Jason: Bruce... are we talkin' about another Bruce or did I miss a memo? Bruce is dead, Timbo.
Tim: He's not. He's trapped in the timestream and trying to get back. And don't- don't tell me I'm going insane with grief or in denial. Laugh all you want, then leave. I don't need this shit again.
Jason: Trapped in time? Damn motherfucker can't even stay dead?
Tim: ... You believe me?
Jason: Sure. Not the craziest shit we've seen. I have a feeling you wouldn't go as far as Ra's if you were actually going off nothing. (mumbling) stealing my schtick. What a bastard.
Tim, blinking: Wow. That... just wow. That was easy. Dick thought I was losing it with grief and so has everyone else.
Jason, shrugging: B is definitely stubborn enough to get lost in time instead of dying and, frankly, I know what being off yer rocker looks like, and this ain't it. I climbed out of my grave, for god's sake, is time shit really off the table? Wouldn't hurt t'look if the old man's still kickin'.
Tim: Uh-
Jason: First stop: away from Ra's, preferably. Talia's not bad, but Ra's is a whole other can of worms. Get up or I drag you.
#dc comics#batfam#batman#tim drake#jason todd#red robin#dc red robin#red hood#league of assassins#red robin comics#i just think that if i could take away jasons pill helmet era#and make him believe tim for the simple reasoning of#batman is too stubborn to die. ofc he has to steal my gimmick#mf.#cue red robin run except with jason's sassy commentary#jason: can i just shoot that guy#tim: no we're not killing anyone#jason: i thought your whole name change thing was bc u wanted to be more unhinged#tim: that is a gross misinterpretation of what i said#i love them lol#tim: ok i can get you a fake passport#jason: why#tim: ? to travel borders? youre not gonna travel as Jason Peter Todd#jason: why not#tim: well for one you're LEGALLY DEAD#jason: oh right. and u?#tim: alvin draper#jason: what#also ik tim wasnt in nanda parbat when he got spleen yoinked but shut up my au i do what i want
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Genuinely tweaking tf out because last chapter dropped and I'm so soul-wrenched pulled apart at the seams and unraveling that I don't even have the energy to cry lmaoo. Tbh i never expected to get this attached to a character/s (all of them, really- Shingen, Somi, Shintaro) and it sounds kind of stupid when I write it down here but still.
My heart breaks for all of them; Shingen, who had to live his life burdened by his clan duties. Shintaro, who had to live his life never being the first choice, of always being tethered to the rules. Somi, who, I think (I hope) loved her child, but just a little too late, and for Gun, poor, sweet Gun, who had to see them all die before his eyes.
They weren't good- they were a terrible family by all means (talking about the adults here obv), but somehow I can't bring myself to hate them for it. It's hard to express what I'm really feeling lol but I just hope. I just hope they're all finally at peace, now. Somehow, somewhere.
I hope Shingen and Shintaro get to be the kids that their childhood never allowed them to be, I hope Somi gets to smile more freely, and I hope that Gun can be happy and unburdened by his past. I hope.
#its kinda pathetic abt how im mourning over literal fictional ppl lmaoo#but like.#im so deeply attached??#idk#i started reading lookism when i was in a really bad place#and it took my mind off things for a while#especially my glorious king shintaro yk 😍😍#ig thats why its kind of a hard pill to swallow lol#but still#STILL#i think im losinh my mind lollll#nvm me#im js rambling atp#i need sleep#and possibl therapy lol#but its okayy#(its not IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWIHG UP I NEED A GOOD NICE HAPPY FIC WHERE NOTH9NG BAD HAPPENED AND THEY'RE ALL SAFE AND HAPPY OK)#also this ended up on a much more sadder note than i intended it to be lolll#SHINTARO MY LOVE MY BABY MY POOR SWEET DARLING COME BACK#I NEED YOU#HHHHHHHHHHHUH#lookism#shintaro yamazaki#gun park#shingen yamazaki#somi park#SHINTARO#SHINTAROOOOOOO
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There’s so much to unpack with this conversation I don’t even know where to start like what is wrong w them.
#where did he even get a pill bottle. (pointing) ssr(u)is mention.#mine#not sharing ur candy is why miku canonically stabbed you to death that one time kaito#ok that’s all I have from reading rui’s area convos#rui#kaito#nene
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one day when I am 3% less worried about being cringe I will post my half baked justified fic where they stay together through college/prison and become surprising well adjusted despite you know being Who They Are and also maybe or maybe not committing at least 1 homicide together. Or something g to that effect.
#justified#raylan givens#boyd crowder#these are SO old. like. a year old. but I’m posting them :)#and that’s ok :)#no sorry some of these are even older. my god I’ve been justified pilled for too long. devastated#i just enjoy the idea of raylan being a college super senior doing like work study and taking an American lit elective and being generally#unassuming only to casually drop one day that oh yeah he can’t make it to that class meeting bc he’s gotta go visit his boyfriend in prison#I also like the idea of said boyfriend moving in to Raylan’s off campus house after his realease and his 3 roommates being like hey raylan#uh just curious but why is your excon gay bf reading my ochem textbook also is he selling weed out of our apartment be honest
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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Was anyone gonna tell me birth control was this powerful???
#i started my period today??#and i haven't been in an abyss of total darkness and emotional pain unable to do anything but lay on the floor and wait for it to be over??#no uncontrollable anger negativity or bitterness????#again no DEPRESSION???#ive just been a regular upbeat guy!!!!#what the fuck!!!!!#ive been on them two weeks!!!!#mine#i was skeptical bc i had to do the progesterone only pill cos the combined one snd migraines aren't a good mix#and i couldn't find anything about that pill treating pmdd#but my doctor said we'd try i to see if it just stabilised things ✨ hormonally ✨#and oh my god#if you're having depression and/or anger issues that resplve within a few days of starting your period#talk to ur doctor#ik birth control isnt for everyone and it affects everyone differently but holy shit#life changing#ive taken more steps forward on the last two weeks than the last four months#and most importantly ive just been stable and on mostly good moods and feeling pretty ok for me#and just not feeling like im either teetering on the edge of an abyss or in it#thank you tiny pill ✊#pmdd#WHY DONT THEY TEACH YOU THIS IN SCHOOL
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how can i convince the school psychiatrist to give me more antidepressants
#i have 3 pills left from 8 months ago i keep saving them for just incase#as if 3 pills is gonna do anything#yeah idk i was prescribed them by the school gp then i saw the psych a week later and he told me#meds arent the solution to everything (ok true) you have to make changes yourself as well (ok true)#anyway i dont think your depression is the main problem so just keep taking adhd meds i think if u fix the adhd your depression will go away#(???). then he also told me to touch more grass and get sun light and exercise#then told me to stop taking my antidepressants#so i dont have anymore#(?) help?#i touched grass today so why do i still want to kill myself. chat explain
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live matex3 reaction because I want to draw trent ships but I have the most gut wrenching stomachache
#extremely rare matex3 drawing sonething that isn't trent or trody#that's me btw#ok i took a pill its going away#going to draw trent ships now#fuck i gotta do homework#i can do it later idc i suffered enough#why does my hair look like jose's
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I'm mad at myself that I didnt end up telling the person looking at my ear about my concerns about taking too many pain pills, and didn't ask questions about anything really. That always happens, I never feel 100% satisfied when I visit someplace medical. Theres always a huge chunk of Care missing. They rush and I feel like a bother.
I hate to say it but if I didn't have my mum with me I'd be useless. I wouldn't have even gone because there would be too many unknown factors in the situation. Shoulda taken her with me while getting looked at, but theres shame involved with almost being 30 and not being able to advocate for myself.
#i was in the car asking my mum a million questions: what was the pill they gave me? should i stop using the ear drops i was using?#just like on the car ride there: what happens when I get there? do i take a number then wait?#and just like how i asked questions there: is it ok to stand here? booth 4 is open do i go there? am i up next?#there was nothing telling me how things are supposed to go. a woman that was waiting (presumably a long time) was nice of her to tell me to#go to booth 3 when it opened. but how was i supposed to know#?#ugh! do you see why i hate going to the doctors?#anyway. its 6am im just waiting for the pain pills to kick in again#like clockwork it wakes me up around 1am then around 5am#maybe i can ask the pharmacy about slow release stuff?#anyway still taking a shit tonne of ibuprofen on an empty stomach while lying down#and then of course i feel overwhelmed and cant stand the thought of going to work the next day#why does dealing with anything human stress me out so much#??#sigh....#personable
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Got a little TOO in character there
#needed to write a fighting chapter so i was getting myself in the Fight Chapter Mood#and then i went in my room and my lights didn't turn on because i needed to pull the string on the fan or something#and i SLAMMED my hand against my lightswitch. Like my hand hurts right now#and then i needed to put a hoodie away but i didn't zip it up and so it fell of the hanger and i felt genuine actual anger#i kicked it across my room and it's still sitting on the ground right now#and then i just stood there for like a full minute thinkin ok why did i just do that#like. let's take a chill pill guys#my brother: wtf is YOUR problem right now#me: i don't... know...
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Okay I spoke way too hastily before but let me just say I'm not gonna go offline but I am gonna try to vent less since those feelings are coming and going so fast
I need the interaction right now honestly rather than just being alone with my thoughts and I need the distraction of good tumblr content too
So sorry about all that but also thank you to those who reached out <3
#i took an anxiety pill and i'm feeling ok atm but who knows how long it will last#that's why i'm gonna vent less til these mood swings are gone but i might go throgh my anxiety meds a lot faster lmao
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For you? Being blocked by several thousand people immediately after blazing a dumbshit post
wait this is so fucking funny. ive never seen this ask before but apparently it's been sitting in my ask box since dec 25. very belated merry christmas to you, buddy. you've earned it after all of the asks you must have sent if you did this every time you saw a blazed post lmaoo
#asks#ive only ever blazed one post on this account on purpose but it would honestly be iconic if like.#my benign short-ass post caused 10-20%+ of the people who saw it to block me#those would be genuinely impressive interaction numbers. i wish tumblr collected that data so i could see it#fascinating social implications if true#i think its ok to post this now... like not feeding any trolls or anything since its been almost 1/3rd of a year and also.#they blocked me right? i hope they did after going thru all this effort#havent blazed anything since and not gonna anymore out of solidarity . for the record#''why are you answering this'' caffeine pill
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oh for fucks fucking fuck
#breakthrough bleed explaining why awful week at work is making me feel 100000% more awful than usual#i thought i was having gi issues but it's cramps. of course it's cramps.#sleeping bad then good then bad#and of course the fucking. godamn. emotional lowness and hating my entire life. i bought a binder yesterday lmaoooo#usually im ok with my presentation its only when i get hit with depression that im like... i should change the way i look#fucking hell. i want a whole basket of chocolate and a hug#(i have pills to stop my periods because they're so rough so i dont even have the monthly expectation of depression)#(i never expect a breakthrough bleed bc wildly i dont remember when i dont remember to take my pills)
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It's me chewing on ice for a bit and then remembering I haven't taken my iron pills in a few days, so I fixed that and now I'm not chewing ice again—
This is now how I notice if I've been forgetting my pills LMAOOO
#keej ramble#scientists: idk why but chewing ice has a correlation with anemia#me with a glass of ice: oh#(i havent properly chewed ice since i got my iron pills its been a long time its ok fellas)
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i start that new job tomorrow 😶 ...
#... im not sure if itll be a full day or just 'more paperwork/general tour/training' tho kinda hopin for maybe like a half day TwT;;#im very nervous and considering taking one of the old anxiety meds i still have#from when i was in therapy. except idk if theyre still in date + they made me feel like a zombie which is why i stopped taking them lol#like i was SO out of it on them. but would that be preferable 2 the feeling of Soon Entering Cardiac Arrest levels of anxiety im having rn?#maybe...#+ going to take a sleeping pill around 10 to make sure i dont stay up all night freaking myself out#jkdkjfhjjk can my brain be normal about this. i havent even started the job yet calm down!!! calm down!!! its ok!!!!#i just feel so bad bc everyone has been rly nice. like 'omg yay u found a chill job w insurance RIGHT before u get kicked off urs thats#great ik youll do well!!' and its like well what if i DONT do well what if i freak out again. and self sabotage. then what. like i KNOW#its bad and i KNOW what i SHOULD be doing but its like herding geese over here in my brain zone. painful and bad and i dont understand why#things happen at all its confusing and frustrating to deal with#logically i know i need a job. i need to pay my debts and start saving and I WANT to move out! but its like that fine dining and breathing#scene from spongebob. brain on fire. lol#sanchoyorambles
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