#ohhh my god I miss them
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LAURMILLA WINTER
#Ough they always have my heart#ohhh my god I miss them#art#fanart#sketches#my art#carmilla#laurmila
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AHHHHHHH ur latest movieverse charles is so precious,,, i want to pinch his cheeks and stretch them like mochi
squihshy..
#xmen#first class#snap sketches#this ask is. A Little Old JERLKEARKLJ SORRRYYYYY A LOTS HAPPENED#this ask is still accurate tho i havent drawn movieerse Since that last doodle. Ever Ago 💀💀💀💀#BUT we talkin movies today SO !! finally gettin to my movieverse asks i wanted to doodle jvlekavjlaek#anyways thank you my friend !!!!! its important he looks chewable at all times i think im glad i succeeded there#oh Unrelated Ramble Time i love mochi so much im gona kms#when i was growing up it was like. My Favorite favorite whenever my dad would visit or come home from work in the city#he'd bring me these big ol mochi balls and ohhh my god i miss them so much .... im sad now .. and hungry ... mostly hungry
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im so done with racism
#going through Blake's playlist because i never finished it and apparently there's big lore im missing#“We call them Weavers” GTFO OF HERE WITH YOUR STUPID ASS THEMED NAMING “closeknit” “weavers” yea i spotted u#dumbass mfs#ohhh my god. clenching my teeth trying to get through this#redacted audio#redacted blake#redacted bestie#redacted closeknit#hooray for magical rascism!!! im gonna strangle this man
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hey look its those hatchetfield guys again!!!
id in alt, reblogs > likes
#hatchetfield fancharacter#hatchetfield oc#lens little guys#blythe#warren#ohhh my god i havent drawn them in so long.... i miss them but tbh i just wasnt getting ideas#indi if you're seeing this this is YOUR fault#actually kinda thinking of just making them my own guys now?? like separating them from hatchetfield. mostly so i can write comics without#orrying abt canon and shit because god knows i refuse to not be canon compliant when writing#oc art#my art#digital art#original character art#fancharacter#fan character
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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weird thing about the inhumans is that theyre obscure enough to not really have an audience and also havent really appeared *that* much throughout their entire 60 year existence. however they also well known enough that the mcu took a crack at it and permanently affected their comics and their old roles and sectors are gone to make room for the New MCU Versions. truly such a thing is practically unheard of.
#agatha harkness comic fans i cant begin to imagine how yall feel since 2021#my dad is usually a very big 'they shouldnt change TOO much from tbe comics“ guy. but he has absolutely 0 problems with mcu agatha#tnd it pisses me offffff. like thats not even the same person. literally nobody in thaf agatha show is tbe same person. its not even CLOSE.#i get upset about how they switched karnak and maximus for who has no powers#if they changed the entire fucking Everything i would be performing a version of the cell block tango rn#and then seeing mcu fans get MAD about agatha looking slightly older at the end bc shes like. Not Young and Pretty anymore. ohhh myyy goddd#i wouldnt be able to handle it. oh my god i dont even want to look at those spaces ever again and i am completely neutral on agatha#this got so far off topic. agatha fans i know theres gotta be some of you out tbere im so sorry the mcu did this to you </3#anyways. i miss them. crystal ill never be over how mcu only fans think of u as nothing else but annoying. ill fight for u queen#i dont even know what to tag this as. this might stay in the drafts ELL OH ELL
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I realized a little while ago that, thinking over my whole life, I don't think I've ever been the person to ask someone else if they want to hang out with me. Like... ever...? I've been to people's houses and they've been to mine, I've met up with people out and about, but the closest I've come to initiating those conversations has always been, like, putting an open call on facebook. And now I'm over thirty and the idea of even trying-- even with, like, my mom, or nearby irl friends who would clearly definitely be up for it-- makes me feel like throwing up
#fun to be in your thirties and making lots of brand new discoveries of things that have always been wrong with you#I mean thinking about it I MUST have invited other kids to spend the night SOME of the time when I was a literal child??#it can't ALL have been my two doors down best friend inviting herself because she was already at my house#SURELY I am the one who invited school friends over and not them asking me every time? surely...#but at least from middle school onward I just. I just! didn't see my friends outside of school other than for my birthday!!#I can HEAD UP a broad impersonal 'let's all get together' no problem! I can send birthday party invitations!#justin while I was having this crisis of realization: you were going to ask me to hang out that day in ann arbor? I just beat you to it#me-- haunted: justin. no. me posting that I was going to be at the art fair on facebook WAS me letting you know.#me: my ENTIRE plan beyond that was to maybe hopefully coincidentally run into you because you lived in the same city.#anyway I finally Realized this because I was thinking 'I should see if friend wants to hang out' and then was too terrified to try :'D#normal normal normal ohhh my god I am so so normal and good at being a human alive on earth with other humans#me just after high school missing my friends but the idea of asking A Person to hang out with Just Me is utterly terrifying:#hey Everyone who all wants to get together you know like as a group#I have Problems with solo meetups giving me anxiety anyway but at least they're POSSIBLE for me if the other person suggests it#to all of my beloved friends. sorry I'm a piece of shit it's not you there's just something wrong with me#about me
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#i was at work today and this little kid in one of the cars i was delivering for showed me his drawing of a pumpkin patch#i told him it was really good and asked him if he liked drawing#he was missing his two front teeth smiles and goes “yeah! drawing is my favorite hobby!”#and i almost started crying right then and there. ohhh my god#it was adorable :(((((((#i hope he keeps it up !!!!!#genuinely the highlight of my day#well#besides the pug i saw this couple bring with them. she was so excited to see people :3#AND I GOT TIPPED 20$ TODAY#today was just generally a really good day.#AND IM OFF TOMORROW SOOOOO#kazzy caws#work ramble
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npd + autism culture is literally refusing to engage in your special interest because now it's so so mainstream and you don't wanna be associated with all the fakes who are into it
i pretend to not really enjoy space/astronomy anymore because holy shit so many people in my life who like astrology conflates the two. i can't talk about astronomy without someone bringing up some spiritual shit. and i know everything they do say that's correct, they're viewing it from a VERY different lens than i am
i hate family who act like "we're all stardust" is a new revelation to them in their spiritual journey, which i have ALWAYS stated growing up, albeit with a more scientific lens. they also act like it's some special notable thing that means we can manifest anything when i just think it's a fact of life & people only view it as something astonishing because of how mysterious and disconnected the stars seem to your average person
i can never bring up my nuanced takes on life outside earth because someone always dumbs it down or tries to make it fit their own personal ideology on real time, or they'll think i'm lying once i say The Proven Alien Hoax Is, ✨Surprise Surprise✨, A Hoax Again™.
don't get me started on all the alien theories rooted in Just Racism
there's also a lotta people who aren't necessarily spiritual or conspiratorial with it, but it's an aesthetic for them, which on its face is fine, but i hate the thought that i will be grouped in with people who just find kinship with the great unknown Like Y'all Don't Appreciate It Like Me!!!‼️ gatekeeping rn on god how is the special interest i was bullied for so mainstream in internal culture and aesthetics
so i just pretend i don't really care much about it & it's really diminished by love of space & that's a shame & all but idk what else to do
nevermind the fact that when i was like 7 years old i cleared out two whole libraries of their astronomy books by reading every single one regardless of reading level
nevermind the fact most things i own are based on space
nevermind the different space and aerodynamic museums ive been to
nevermind me being able to name certain events just based off photos
nevermind me still owning a lotta books
nevermind me opting to study physics so i could better appreciate space
how dare my special interest be stolen ‼️‼️‼️
#rant#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#autism#special interest#feels highkey appropriated on god ...#i KNOW being gatekeepy is baad and i KNOW it isn't healthy to give up on things you have a passion for bcs of something so childish#but ohhh my god i enter so many irrational states of numerous different rapidly shifting emotion about myself and everyone else over this 😭#how can a friend literally talk to me about how much they like space and I'm literally like “ok” even though i wanna talk abt it bcs#I Don't Trust Them#or someone will be surprised i'm super into space. it's really aggravating when it's someone i've known for years and years bcs how could u#miss this#busted SO much money on space#growing up i'd have fun by reading astronomy & space exploration ENCYCLOPEDIAS.#do you know how angry i was when there was no more space books in my Second Library ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#sometimes i say something off-handed abt space & ppl will be surprised & interested bcs i forget that actually most people don't know that#& then i get happy and feel special and important#but that usually doesn't last long
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DEEP DRAMATIC SIGHH guys i wrote the longest rambling post bcus i didnt know what to draw for the beginning of this animatic but deleted it bcus i got an idea but now that ideas just. not looking good. and now i need a NEW idea cries sobs
#my post#i love being dramatic anyways hows everyone elses day going#my issue is that i randomly threw in everyones like backstories and thats not really important here bcus this is a s2 animatic#i should put in stuff relevant to the end of s1/ beginnning of s2#i should like. set up tide being missing ashe being trickstered marks in jail william and vyncent are homeless and dakota is in the Woods#getting Bear Trauma#OH??? WIAT IDEA#INSTEAD OF MANY DISCONNECTED SHOTS I CPULD DO LIKE A SCEEN#OF WILLIAM AND VYNCENT LEAVING DEFENDER HALL#AND LIKE WE PASS BY DAKOTAS NOTE AND ASHES PAGE#AND IT ENDS W THEM WALKING OUT N CLOSING THE DOOR. AND THEN IT PANS UP TO THE SKYYYYYY#OHHH MY GOD DGYTSSSSS THIS IS 1000X BETTER. THAN WHAT I HAD#I SHOULD BE DRAMATIC ON TUMVKR MORE OFTENNNNN#if i need more stiff to fill space i can put like. idk. the news on a tv pr a newspaper. but this is good this is GOOD
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screaming crying thr*wing up at barry just casually looking up dundees address while checking if he has a warrant because he misses him and hasnt seen him around
#the little gasp when he saw he owned a house#ohhh my god#am i delusional?#yes but i am having fun#I MISS THEM OKAY#ALSO YES#i recognize this was mostly bazz ooc curiosity I DONT CARE#IM TAKING IT IN CHARACTER BARRY STILL DID IT#tuesday in los santos#husbands
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rules: tag 9 some people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the questions below! — tagged by @browneyeslouis <333
Last Song: Infections of a Different Kind by Aurora
Three Ships: Simarkus (absolutely nothing better than them. Most healthy happy beautiful while simultaneously most heartbreaking lovers). Second uhh Chloenorth superiority. I've decided to lead that parade now bc reed900 gets all the attention and they don't deserve it. The girls do tho. Third ship is bagginshield
Currently Reading: book wise, I started The Ones We Burn by Rebecca Mix, haven't touched it in two months but I like it. Fic wise, I'm rereading Leading by Example by Kurana again😭
Last Movie: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Craving: va- no I shan't say
I'm not gonna tag anyone bc I know I'll forget someone and feel awful about it but if you see this it's because I wanna know so pls join and say I tagged you <333
#Serious wise I'm craving my mama's home cooked meals. Literally any of them idc. Fucking hate uni w no kitchen bro#Ohhh my God a coworker brought shrimp stir-fry she made in her kitchen to work last night. I almost fought#Missing my mom's Korean barbecue especially goddamn#Friend tag#Dbh#The hobbit#Simarkus#chloenorth#Bagginshield#Aurora#black panther
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Not to vague but the fact so many people just straight up admit to being ex-team (like, team galatic, flare, plasma, etc) members without any shame... GIRL!!!! What do you mean!!! "Oh the leaders hot!" WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABT 😭😭😭😭
#one day yall will kill me#thank arcus i missed the whole team plasma thing. and team skull aint too bad#just a bit loud :/#especially after disbanding. haven't heard of them stealing any mons for a while#just causing general ruckus. which. respect first of all#second of all. theyre usually pretty nice if i asked them to tune it down a bit#ohhh my god i just remembered one of my partners parents was arrested bc he was being investigated for being part of team plasma 💀#mostly unrelated to the team plasma thing tho. just the reason he was investiged. i think#idk Unown is kinda vague abt the whole thing#pokemon irl#irl pokemon#pkmn irl#irl pkmn
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I started putting my stuff about this in the tags but actually I have so much to say and it’s so relevant to this discussion that I’m. throwing it out here in a reblog
Because yes on the joints - the only reason I broke five feet of height is because I’m a ballerina, and ballet literally trains the thoracic curve out of you (and often some of the lumbar curve) - my spine was reshaped by years of dance training. When I sit with my legs out in front of me, where most people’s feet would point straight up, mine flop forward in a way that happens only with ppl trained in ballet-based concert dance like me or with hypermobile people. (shout out to my friend who didn’t realise his disability in part because we grew up together and all the stuff his body did was stuff i trained mine to do)
But also, when you’re very serious about anything athletic, not just dance but intense sport training as well, you can literally delay aspects of your own puberty. My periods were incredibly inconsistent and lacked most period symptoms from the day I got them to a couple years ago, when I stopped taking dance classes as frequently. My breasts barely grew in until that same post-college time. High levels of activity literally affect the hormones in your body, and if that high level is frequent enough during puberty you will impact how puberty affects you. This isn’t just an anecdotal thing - in my education to become a personal trainer, one thing that came up is the fact that testosterone levels rise in a body with heavy activity. For people doing things like the weightlifting I train them on, that’s not usually frequent or intense enough to have an impact, especially in adulthood. For kids like me, who built entire lives around training for a particular physical work, it does impact a lot. I don’t know much about the specific impact it might have on other bodies than my own, but that hormonal shift is a real thing, and noticeable if you hit a point where your activity level drops.
So it’s not just that people are being weird about bodily autonomy and not recognising that kids do things to change their body all the time - it’s that cis teenagers are in fact affecting their own hormone levels every time they get serious about a sport. If a kid is training every day for something like I was, they are in fact fucking with their own puberty.
But I guess that’s ok, because it’s not the end goal? Because somehow this kind of thing happening to people on accident is better than kids making the informed choice and having control based on their needs and desires?
“transition poses some ethical questions. Such as, from what age should you be allowed to irreversibly change your body.“
This of course completely ignores the fact that puberty makes irreversible changes to your body. But let us just rephrase the question: “from what age do you gain bodily autonomy?” Now it gets very easy to answer: From the moment you’re fucking born.
#to be clear i have no regrets. and also i'm not cis so i do kind of miss the ambiguity of smaller boobs. the fucky puberty thing ws great#but also. ohhh my god kids have weird hormone shit happen to them all the time#at least trans kids get to say they want it!#(also also every time this conversation comes up i want to scream about what happens to intersex kids from fucking birth but.#that's another post entirely at that point)
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rewatching apothecary diaries I love maomao so much she's just like fr
#rambumbles#I miss springtime so bad I miss when the ground was covered in little flowers that would stop me on my path with great enthusiasm#woodsorrel henbit deadnettle speedwell black medick chickweed asterweed field madder I MISS YOUUUUUU#did you know that henbit and deadnettle are veeeery similar looking. however deadnettle's leaves are more pointy and downward-facing wherea#henbit's leaves are more sticky-uppy and more scalloped? edges?#anyways I remember earlier this year I saw them next to eachother in my yard and went Hang On It's Those Slightly-Different Bastards#and I was SO EXCITED#my knowledge!! applied in my real life!!!! in my very own yard!!!!!#also a few weeks ago I was on a walk around my neighborhood and saw little pink puffball flowers in someone else's yard#so obviously went I got home I looked up what they were and found out they were MIMOSA FLOWERS#and sooo when I walked past that place again a few days later I tested if the leaves would close upon touch and THEY DID#I felt like a mad scientist. I love plants. it's great#ALSO I got booklets of common north american weeds & wildflowers when I went to a state park a couple months ago#ohhhh my god it's great I LOVE PLANTS!!!! I LOVE WILD PLANTS!!!!!!!!!!!#OHHH MY GOD I just remembered the storksbill saga#seeing these little purple flowers by the road while DRIVING#not being able to STOP to IDENTIFY their DEFINING CHARACTERISTICS#and THEN#seeing them in my NEIGHBOR'S YARD (while driving)#WALKING over there to look#and finding their WEIRD LEAVES#and IDENTIFYING. STORKSBILL!!!!!!!!!!#AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA#ok I;'m normal now
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honestly this is definitely due to other factors but i will say this is like the most calm i've been after a dan and phil upload. 'cause like, to be clear, they obviously don't owe us shit and can upload whenever they want etc. but i do have a pretty big brain fixation on them so even after the fucking charity birthday livestream i was still like... no but i need another video soon. in three days? please?
but that mukbang took me the FUCK out. like. i am still thinking about it a few days later and i am honestly quite enjoying the lack of content. because it was truly the upload of all time
#astra.txt#though i am kind of curious what happened with phil so i do await the next AP upload#but i'm not like. ohhh my God i miss them coded. they are pleasantly not on my mind until i think about the fainting story
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