#oh oof this took some time

[tcustodisart]

What are some cute moments that occur throughout the different acts that aren’t necessarily in the game but live in your head rent free?

Oh, this one is going to be a long answer, because there's a lot of squatters in my head and there's a lot to be unleashed. Let's start with this doodle with the boys playing lanceboard at camp and continue under the cut. Lots of cringe and brainrot incoming, so brace yourself.

Act 1:

Connie is constantly bickering with Astarion over him stealing his journal. Gale suggest to cast arcane lock on it, but Connie knows it won't stop that gremlin from reading it so why bother.

This sad pile of rugs is where I imagine Connie sleeps in Act 1. Additional Astarion line: "Damn darling, you live like this?"

During the first romance scene Connie tells Shart about his family, about how he and his brother know the city inside and out, about his parents and the tavern they run, about the trap incident. It's the most he talked to someone who wasn't his family or his crow in years. He wishes that night would never end.

Connie sends letters to his family via Faust, he stops after entering Underdark.

Act 2:

I mentioned it before that Connie is not taking the Shadow Curse very well. He misses the sun, misses the grass, he's unable to contact his family, Shart has distanced herself from him. Karlach notices it and tries to cheer him up. They end up having long talks almost every night. That's the moment their friendship evolves from just friends to besties.

When Connie finds the second warding bond ring, he wishes he could give the other one to Shadowheart, but finds the moment inappropriate. He ends up giving her the ring at the beginning of Act 3.

Act 3:

I have a lot of stuff for this act.

This is inspired by one of Jaheira's lines: "'The Cub and the Crow'- sounds like a cautionary tale. As it probably should." Connie draws her a mock up cover for a kids book. Jaheira sticks it to the traveling chest (I mostly store food there, so to me traveling chest = fridge).

Connie goes through a serious breakdown at the start of this act (after a companion is abducted), he ends up crying and saying that for the first time he doesn't believe they're going to make it, that he'll never hug his mom, never hear his brother sing again, won't be able to tell his step dad that he saw Darkmaw the Wicked. He's being comforted first by Jaheira and then by the rest of his party.

His favorite armor gets damaged one time, he's very upset about it. But the next morning he finds it magically repaired (Astarion fixed it, from the start of Act 3 they become besties).

This wip that I'm very slowly working on happens during act 3. Connie makes some flower crowns and talks about how his mom taught him to do that. I'm not going to say more, because I really want to finish that comic.

Connie has a deal with Popper that he'll pay him double for every night orchid he finds (I actually did that in game, I bantered him more money for the flower than he asked for, I love that little guy so much).

This one is more funny than cute but when Connecticut Tav was younger and still lived in Baldur's Gate he used to visit Sharess's Caress pretty regularly because it was the best way to practice drawing people. He really enjoyed talking with the workers there, he eventually convinced them that maybe creating an union isn't such a bad idea. He ended up being banned from entering the brothel because of that. So when the party approaches it to meet Voss, he's very nervous that the owner will remember him (she does). There's a dialogue in my head but it would work better with some visuals, so maybe one time I'm going to draw it.

In my head, the cottage they end up living in is Connie's old hunting hut. So after the conversation with Shadowheart about her plans for after defeating the brain, he suggest that it would be the perfect place to go. He then draws the house to show her how it looks like, tells her that it's surrounded by a forest, there's a lake nearby, a small stable that can be turned into a barn if needed, and that he's not sure about the quality of the soil, but he did grow some herbs there, so maybe it's going to be good enough to grow flowers.

At the end of the game Connie decides to stay in Baldur's Gate for a while to help his family fix their tavern (which was heavily damaged). He tells Shart to go the house I mentioned before, because he wants her to start her new life as soon as possible + because it would be better for her parents. He stealthily puts his journal in her stuff with a note attached to it saying that he finished it this morning and she can read it if she wants to. He also gives her Faust so she can write him letters whenever she wants to. After 2 tendays he arrives at the cottage with some gifts (night orchid bulbs and a pamphlet about how to take care of them, there was supposed to be another gift, but he wasn't able to find it just yet, but that's for another story).

Epilogue party (because I'm that insane):

It's been sitting in my wips for more than two months, so I don't know if I'll be able to finish it. But during the party Connie and Shadowheart take 10 minute brake to visit the place from the first romance scene. They have a very similar conversation like before, but their roles are reversed now - It's Connie asking questions about Shart's current life. "Tell me something about yourself, but no tadpoles, weird artifacts, petty goddesses. Something about you."

[spasikonik]

an edek themed collage 🪲

[hongberries]

every month of 2023

i was tagged by @xiaojuun 🩷

rules: link your favorite and/or most popular post from each month this year.

well this is gonna be fun considering i did delete and tumblr took so long to get back to me i just remade. luckily i do have friends who supported my works so i'll be able to link them.

january

most popular: this hong season 11 post

my fave: i agree with the people but also this spring day hong post, flowers and pink, you know how it is.

february

most popular: i believe it's this gwangil set

my fave: gotta mention the valentines i made for the besties, my fave being vianey's i really outdid myself for this one.

march

most popular: obviously it's pretty boy things pt2 i don't even need to check.

my fave: i do love the pretty boy, but i think we need to aknowledge the shower of rain reemergence so this hong post

april

most popular: main dancer hong

my fave: hong's birthday post, and the poetic cinema of hong season 12

may

most popular: grape hong

my fave: i like most of the waterfall gifs i made, this was such a fun time so i'll give the honours to steve and kyungmun ending fairies and of course mandatory sion post.

june

most popular: emo time hong

my fave: poetic cinema hong in magazine ho 58

july

most popular: woobin in the groovy japanese version mv

my fave: the sets i did for the japanese version of groovy so here's allen and taeyoung

august

most popular/my fave/my only post that month: some of my most important work ever

september

ah september...remember when we had a sliver of hope...

most popular: shinwon in the pado jacket making

my fave: ballerino hong and woobin in the cheese mv

october

... only for it to be crushed (we hate you cube, all my homies hate cube)

most popular: unintentionally making uniblr a lil emo

my fave: that one i did spend quite some time on it.

november

most popular: pink huijun

my fave: november was season's greetings giffing time so let's do siyoung but let's not forget my most beloved

december

most popular: yuto!

my fave: eri said these were my prettiest gifs but i do love a sparkle moment

tagging: i think it's only right i tag @hongseasons this post could not have been made otherwise, but also @dinoboos, @hohowonho, @mizugucci & @dakbees

[lovsome]

just cried in the shower thinking about my bf !! who have i become 😳

[hauntingblue]

YAMATO NEW NAKAMA PLEASE 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️LUFFY PLEASE!!!!

[wrathful-ghosts]

Finalllllly through ch 12 of rebirth oh my god that was so much stuff fuck

[mynameisjag]

Prompt by: @shiwalkers-ineffability

DpxDc snarky danny lives in Gotham and is just trying to get a degree but keeps almost getting adopted by various members of the Justice League

“Listen, I’m not like 12 or whatever age you think I am, I am an adult that is going to his class at college, I am near graduation and would like to focus more on that then whatever issue it is you have with me.”

To be fair to Dick, the guy in front of him really did look like a middle schooler…a middle schooler that just came out of a package store with a bag filled with various types of alcohol.

The face glaring up at him still had baby fat, voice still at that young age, a little on the too thin side but not unhealthy yet…he looked like he just got back from the playground. How and why did the store owner sell him alcohol?

“I can see it in your face, it’s the same one all those other heroes had when they ran into me, I have an I.D., I have a job, I fucking pay taxes, I do not need help or supervision. Fuck off.”

And the guy was moving, short legs stomping away.

“Wait, hold on, I still have questions!”

There was a sigh and the kid turned around to stare at him, “What? I do not need the furry brigade busting into my apartment, so get what you want to ask out of the way. Fucking worse then red underwear guy back in Metropolis.”

“You mean Superman?”

“I don’t care what his name is, he thought I was a lost kid and took me to the precinct to call my parents. Got laughed at is all what happened.”

“What’s with all the alcohol?”

“College student, just aced an extremely hard and taxing test and me and some friends are celebrating and it was my turn to do the alcohol run and before you continue on with this, yes, the guy checked my ID, I’m old enough by several years. Just do your weird stalker thing and look me up.”

“Right, ‘weird stalker thing?,’”

“You are not and won’t be the last “hero” to make this mistake.”

Nightwing just smiled and tapped on his communicator, “Hey, Oracle-“

“-Tell Danny I said hi and leave him alone, this is a Babydoll situation.”

“Oh, um, Oracle says hi…”

“Glad she remembers me from the last couple of times, so tell her hello and goodbye, I’m on a schedule.”, and with that Danny was storming off.

“Oof, this happen a lot, O?”

“You have no idea.”

[hurtspideyparker]

If Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together Part 2

Read Part 1 and Part 3

Tony: Why is Underoos mopping the ceiling?

Sam: Told him since he's sticky that's his chore

Bucky: It's only fair he helps out around the house

Tony: Hm. Makes sense

-

Vision cooked dinner:

Peter: *pushing around food to make it look eaten*

Natasha: *surreptitiously spitting into napkin*

Steve: *taking small bites with tons of water*

Bucky: *just stares at full plate*

Tony: Well this is disgusting, I'm ordering pizza

-

Sam: C'mon man stop moping around, you gotta get yourself a girl

Bucky: Ok.

Sam: Ok? Okayyyyy! I know-

Bucky: Give me your phone

Sam: Oh you got a number in mind already hotshot? *hands phone over*

Bucky: *ring* Hi Sarah ;)

Sam: BOY-

-

Peter: Ned thought you would seperate your colours from your lights but he also thought you'd be homophobic so I don't pay him much mind cuz clearly I'm more of a superhero expert than him but he does have a 2% better average than me in history so like maybe you do hand wash your clothes and that's why I asked what underwear you wear because-

Steve: *listening intently with apprehension and alarm*

Natasha: I can't believe you found the one person on Earth who talks more nonsense than you

Tony: I know right, it's incredibly unnerving. I'm planning on adopting him

-

Peter: Mr. Stark I have to tell you something. I think Vision is a... *whispers* pervert

Tony: Um, why?

Peter: He keeps floating through my room without knocking! He saw me changing, he saw my nipples !

Tony: Well if anyone's a predator here it would be you. I mean showing your nipples to a 2 year old? Deplorable.

Peter:

Peter: Oh god, I'm the pervert...

-

Bucky: Y'know animosity isn't good between teammates. I think we should spend more time together

Sam: Am I being punked right now? Where's the camera

Bucky: I'm serious. I think it would be healthy for us to bond

Sam: Okay fine I'll bite... what did you have in mind

Bucky: Wanna go for a run?

Sam: *slams door in Bucky's face*

-

*staring at Bucky's sparkly clean metal arm*

Bucky: Dishwasher?

Peter: Dishwasher :)

(later that day)

Bucky: I've decided to let the child live

Peter: YoU wHaT?!

-

Thwip

Tony: Who took my coffee cup, It was right here

Thwip

Bruce: Um, has someone seen my book? I just had it

Thwip

Steve: I could've sworn I was holding a pen a moment ago

*giggling from the ceiling*

Tony: Young man I will take those webshooters away if you use them for shenanigans and rascality

Peter, muffled: Mr. Hawkeye told me to!

Clint: Oh so you're just gonna rat me out like that?

Peter: Sor- OOF

*falls out of ceiling vent*

-

Sam: You're in my spot

Bucky: There are no spots, it's a common area

Sam: Well that's my spot

Bucky: Did you buy the chair??

Sam: No, but everyone knows that's where I sit. Right Steve?

Steve: Oops I forgot something in my car, be right back *leaves*

Sam: Still my spot

Bucky: Still not

Sam: *sits on him*

Bucky: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL THE COUCHES ARE FREE-

Sam: IT'S MY SPOT YOU CAN'T TAKE A MAN'S FAVOURITE CHAIR-

BUCKY: YOU HAVE ISSUES GET OFF ME-

(one hour later)

Steve: Hey so turns out I don't have a car! Isn't that funn...

Sam & Bucky: *Squeezed awkwardly on the chair together*

Steve: I think I left something in my car

-

Steve: Leave the bedroom door open when you have Vision in there

Wanda: UGH you're so protective

Tony: Teenagers, am I right? Caught Pete reassembling my particle accelerator at midnight because he needed to neutralize a miniature nuclear bomb he nabbed off some guy he neglected to tell me was trying to kill him

Steve:

Steve: Wanda y'know what do whatever you want

Wanda: Really?

Steve: Yes just keep being normal. At least I can read about our issues in a parenting book

-

Thor: Ah, new warriors I see! Good to make all your acquaintance. But why are you so grumpy my friend?

Bucky: *glaring*

Peter: He's always like that. It's um, P- P- PMS? Wait -

Natasha: Yes it's PMS

Wanda: He's got it bad

Steve: *genuinely concerned* Bucky you didn't tell me something was wrong. What can I do to help?

Bucky:

Bucky: I like chocolate

-

Wanda: Welcome to the first annual girls night! This place reeks of men, so I thought we needed some women time

Pepper: Why is Vision here?

Wanda: I get sad when he's gone

Natasha: Why is Pietro here?

Pietro: Slay queens

Wanda: Moral support I think

Maria: Why is Peter here?

Wanda: He looked really upset when I said he wasn't included and I felt bad

Wanda: Anyways... yay girls! Who wants me to paint their nails?

Peter: ME ME ME

-

Steve: Pancakes or waffles?

Natasha: Pancakes

Steve: Good because I don't have a waffle maker

Natasha: Then why would you ask-

Steve: It's important for your voice to be heard, as team leader I value your opinion

*2 minutes later*

Steve: Good morning Clint, pancakes or waffles?

Clint: Waffles

Steve: Oh no.

-

Some of these were based on requests (ex. more Sam & Bucky, dad Steve w/ Wanda) so if you have certain dynamics you enjoy let me know !

[chuluoyi]

✎ mission: baby steps !

- gojo satoru x reader

the three times gojo tried to make his baby love him (and how he miserably fails)

genre: full crack, dad!gojo being a sore loser, your baby being mean (he only wants peace, really), and obviously, fluff !!

note: a little thing for father's day ehe <3 i know i said i'll work on smut in the polls next but uhhh, this comes first ok?! :') i just love the idea of gojo vs baby don't mind me *sobs* and all the scenario here come from the tiktok/reels you've sent me!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

There are many things that come with being a jujutsu sorcerer, and when you are Gojo Satoru, those things seem to be multiplying like bunnies.

This essentially means less time with his wife and baby. Look, he could finish missions fast, but when sent to other cities, even he couldn't abuse his teleportation powers all the time to return to Tokyo.

And so, as much as he hated it, he couldn't fault his baby boy for forgetting him.

"Look, it's papa," you rocked your son with a smile, consoling him as he wailed right after Satoru held him. "Don't cry, don't cry! Papa just got back from a long mission, he's not scary!"

"Is he scared of me?" Ouch. The thought prickled him. It somehow felt sourer than seeing Principal Gakuganji's face.

You hummed, seemingly (or comically?) deep in thought. "Hmm, in baby's point of view: a big, bad man suddenly picks him up, of course he's scared."

"I'm not a bad man!"

Okay, he wasn't having this. Satoru adored his baby to bits and he would want him to at least know it. It's settled then—he would be taking paid leave just to spend some time with his baby.

This would be his mission for the next three days!

DAY ONE

The day started off great. Baby Gojo was relatively calm, a bit fussy here and there but Satoru could definitely handle him.

"Look, a plane is coming!" he said playfully, moving the spoon in the air to attract his baby's attention. "Open your mouth wide!"

Baby blinked at him with the straightest face ever. His two blue orbs were the very same as his father, and yet they held disinterest so great that it was a wonder Satoru didn't notice.

He then playfully smooched baby's face, but he scrunched up, cringing in response.

And later, another achievement unlocked: Satoru successfully got his son to sleep for his afternoon nap!

"You're so cute, sigh." Satoru poked his baby's cheek lightly. "You look like me, but when you sleep, you totally look like your mama..."

He might not say it out loud, but one of his favorite sights lately was seeing you sleep next to your son. Both of you looked so precious and vulnerable, so alike, and it made him warm.

And whenever he looked at this little creation between you and him, he also got the urge to poke him so bad.

So he did. Only this time, he poked him a little too hard.

And how wrong that move was.

His son immediately cracked his eyes open, his lips quivered, and then his whole face scrunched up, followed by—

"WAAA!"

"Oof! Wait— I'm sorry!"

Long story short, he refused to be held in Satoru's arms, so you took over and your husband could only watch you with dissatisfaction.

"Won't you let me hold you?" he asked despondently, pulling up a pitiful face and batting his eyelashes. "I have the warmest hugs! Mama can vouch for that!"

"Satoru, he doesn't want you."

DAY ONE RESULT : FAILED

DAY TWO

Okay, his baby would love him today. Satoru was sure of it.

He had ordered this baby ride-on toy via home shopping and not only that, he would play with him!

"Here we goo~! Honk! Honk!" Satoru steered the little vehicle with his son at the backseat, hyping him up and even made a weird sound that was supposed to resemble a... train?

You watched them both, giggling. Your husband looked positively ridiculous as he was too big for the small vehicle, but still persisted in entertaining your clueless baby behind him. "Oh my, Satoru, you're trying way too hard."

"I have to!" he retorted, sending pout and a glare at the same time. "You can't hog him all the time, he's my son too!"

"Well, good luck~ as it happens, your spawn isn't easy to impress."

"Just so you wait—!" Satoru begrudgingly shot you a look, eaten up by your taunts, not noticing the wall in front of him. "By the end of today, he'll— whoaaa!"

He was about to crash into the said wall, and you were prepared to jump to save your baby first. But then, Satoru did the next best thing to stop it—jumping out of the ride-on, rolling onto the floor... and crashing into the bookshelf that some of the things fell. "Ow!"

"Are you okay!?" you immediately picked up your baby before checking him over. However, Satoru's eyes were transfixed on your shared munchkin.

"Meh heh~"

And you too when you heard it— your baby was wiggling, all smiles, seemingly amused by the sight of his papa lying there pitifully. Satoru was aghast.

"Y-you have no filial piety!"

DAY TWO RESULT : FAILED

DAY THREE

Today, Satoru had gotten inside the playpen and brought a bunch of toys, planning to entertain his son with all of them.

"C'mon, don't throw that!" he pursed his lips when his kid flung the lego away. "Don't you want to play together with me?"

No. As if saying that, the baby crawled away from him. He seemed to have a target in mind though.

"Oi, what are you doing?" Satoru was puzzled, but he was in for a surprise when the child rose slowly.

"Oh, you're pushing yourself up..." he stated, observing how the baby, still wobbly, clutched on the edge of his playpen for support.

A huge grin spread across his face then. "Aww, look at you!" he gushed with pride. "You can stand already! Ooh!"

And suddenly, the sight tugged at his heartstrings. This was the first time he had ever witnessed such a milestone. He wasn't here when he first started teething or crawling, and now that he was here when his son was standing... he wanted to see more of this.

"Now, can you take a step?" Satoru moved closer to him, and the kid turned to him with those clear blue eyes and a little frown, seemingly unsure. "Go! Go! Come to me!"

He didn't think he would actually try to walk. But he did as baby let go of the support, alas suddenly he slipped—

And fell flat on his face.

"—! Are you hurt?!" Satoru immediately plucked him off the floor, horrified, and pulled him close when the baby started to sniffle. Soon, he began to wail inconsolably.

"Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—!" he didn't even know why he was apologizing, but seeing his baby so frightened made his chest tighten. "Stop crying, oh wait—let's find mama!"

You were engrossed in your evening TV series when Satoru came barging to the living room with your poor son while being hysterical. "Help him!"

"What happened?!"

"He fell! He fell!"

Of course, your main concern was to comfort your baby, and so you reached out to take him from your husband's arms, only that...

"Huh...?" even Satoru was stunned when his son clutched onto his shirt, continuing to cry but refusing to let go, burying his little face into him.

Suddenly, he felt warm, he felt needed, and most of all, his desire to protect him was so overwhelming that he couldn't help but squeeze him closer.

You looked between the father and son, feeling giddy at the sight.

"He wants you," you finally smiled, patting baby's back. Satoru glanced between you and his precious pumpkin, seemingly taken aback as he blinked several times. When the fact sank in, he felt like a mush and pressed a kiss on his head.

The clown was convinced that his kid hates him and you are the savior. So, the fact that this little innocent being wanted him to comfort him... it made his heart flutter.

"Sorry, kid," he sighed into him, smushing his face to his little one's. "Don't cry, yeah? You're making me sad too."

"Satoru... are you getting glassy-eyed?"

"...am not!"

DAY THREE RESULT : DUBIOUS OUTCOME

"He's asleep..." you placed your baby between you and Satoru on the bed later that night, he was now so peaceful, out like a light.

Satoru turned to face you and the baby, looking at both of you with a yawn, but a soft smile lit his face when he saw how you pecked his son's cheek lightly.

These three days made him almost forget that curses still existed out there. Spending time with his son blurred that fine line between reality and a perfect daydream.

"He is still so little, but he screams so loud," he mused, poking the baby's cheek gently. You swatted his hand away, worried he might poke too hard again.

"You keep teasing him, that's why."

"—? He keeps playing me, is why!"

You two burst into quiet giggles then, and you couldn't help but reminiscing about the journey from when you first found out you were expecting, through the first ultrasound, and all the way to delivering your son.

And it seemed like Satoru had an inkling of what you were thinking when he suddenly blurted:

"Thank you, for everything you do," he whispered then, his eyes crinkled so softly at you.

You playfully huffed to hide your misty eyes, and in that moment, Satoru knew, that you too were glad for this life you two shared.

. . .

And that, in and of itself, was enough for him to thank all the stars for bringing him to meet you in that most beautiful spring of 2006.

Epilogue

It was morning, and baby was awoken by... sounds.

He looked to the side to find his mama there— your hand on his tummy to prevent him from rolling.

And then he turned to the other side to find his papa... who is perfectly still, but emanating this low sounds with each breath he took.

The longer he heard it, the more irritated your munchkin felt. So he rose, put his fists together, and came down on him—

Whack!

"—?!" Satoru groaned when something hit his face, and he opened his eyes only to see his son readying his punch again—

"W-why are you hitting me!" he was mortified. "H-help! Sweets, wake up! He’ll murder me!”

OVERALL MISSION RESULT : FAILED

[feidude]

update: so far i did one thing ☝️

[catscidr]

Hiii I just found your acc and really like your stuff! Can I pls request lazy morning sex with Jing Yuan (and any character you think might fit this prompt) I just looked and there is not one fic like this of this man when he's like... right there. He's like so perfect for this scenario. Thank you sm and have a great day/night! <3

i just finished writing this its 3am i think i blacked out. everybody give it up for my man jing yuan i need himSO BAAAAD AAHHH i hope u like this nonnie ♡♡ cw: nsfw, mdni. semi-clothed sx, soft dom jy, clt stimulation, size kink if you squint, praise, pet names, slight overstimulation, cuddling n fucking face-to-face, riding, creampie. /not proofread ill do that in the morning. dies/ includes: fem reader, jing yuan, fu xuan mentionned wc: 3,2k

You loved and hated waking up next to Jing Yuan in the morning. On one hand, the rhythm of his beating heart lulls you to sleep, and he makes for a wonderful personal heater; but on the other... he’s a little too comfortable. So much so that every time you sleep with him, you, without fail, end up being late for work. That, or you barely make it in time. At times you would point your finger at him and accuse him of being a wholesome, sleepy version of an incubus, and he would laugh in that smooth, baritone voice of his. 

Regardless. 

This morning was one of those mornings, of course. Jing Yuan came back home for the first time in two weeks the night before- being the general of the Luofu means that he would occasionally have to leave for an unknown amount of time to take care of business. Every time he had to leave, you’d linger around him a little longer than usual, wrap your arms around him tighter than you normally would and let your lips linger on his cheek long enough for the sun to rise completely. 

He’d come back so late last night that you were already sleeping in your shared bed, legs haphazardly thrown over the bed sheets in a poor attempt to regulate your body temperature. The button-up shirt you wore made his heart lunge in his throat in the best way, but the last thing he wanted was to wake you. So, he’d carefully remove his armored uniform, take his shirt off and slip into the bed with you with nothing but his briefs on, and pull you into his chest. You had unconsciously nuzzled closer to him, your body craving the warmth of his body you had missed oh so dearly. 

Which explained the situation you were now in. The dilemma you found yourself stuck in. Jing Yuan was back; you had your face mere millimeters away from his plush chest, his arms held you tight against him, and his soft snores almost convinced you to fall back asleep. Keyword; almost. 

As much as you loved him you knew that he’d be here once you came back from work, so with as much resolve as you could muster, you try wriggling your way out of his grip. With him being as big as he was, though, it didn’t surprise you when he tightened his hold on you, treating you as if you were his plushie threatening to fall off his bed and he was a child.

You let out a quiet oof from his strong grip and reevaluate your options. There weren’t many options, but at least you had choices; either you wake him up, convince him to let you go and then get to work early enough that you don’t risk getting written up again, or you let him hold you and... arrive at work late. Again. Which was the last thing you wanted, given the fact that your boss had specifically told you that she couldn’t allow you to miss another meeting. 

Step one was to summon the ability to be even more stubborn than your lover. Step two is to carefully wriggle your arms up, high enough that you can move your hands and you can use them to your advantage against the beast. It took you some time, given the fact that they were stuck between his and your body, but you succeeded, nonetheless. And you only got one displeased grunt from the sleeping general in response. 

As you’re about to proceed with step three, Jing Yuan cracks an eye open and buries his head into the crook of your neck while curling into you, effectively trapping you between his plush muscles and the duvet. 

Could have gone better. 

“Jing Yuan,” you huff, your voice sounding more like a whine than anything. The general doesn’t respond, leading you to believe he fell asleep again, but his morning voice graces your ears before you have the time to curse him out. “Mhm, I’m up,” he hums, pressing a lazy kiss to your neck in a false apology. 

You wriggle in response, grunting from the sheer effort. One of the downsides that came with cuddling with Jing Yuan was the way he could keep you right there with him as long as he wanted, curse his strength. 

Seeing as he wasn’t going to budge, you decide that two can play that game. You stare into his silky mop of silver hair, pondering whether you should negotiate your freedom or if you should play dirty- but where's the fun in trying to talk your way out of this predicament? You bring a hand up to gently brush his bangs away from his face. He makes a soft noise of contentment at the feeling of your fingers delicately brushing against his face and, before he can grow too comfortable, you lean in and bite his cheek. 

The general makes a noise of surprise, grunting as he pulls away from you to narrow his eyes at his perpetrator. His pout morphs into a lazy smile as he holds your glare. “If you wanted to play you could have just said so, sweetheart,” he says lowly, moving his free hand from your back to letting it rest lazily on your hips, thumb rubbing gentle circles on the exposed skin. 

You stick your tongue out at him stubbornly, “Not now, I have to get up.” Unfazed by your headstrong attitude, Jing Yuan shifts one of his legs to come between yours- his strong thigh sandwiched between your soft ones. A surprised gasp leaves your lips in response to the smooth way he molds his body to yours, but you refuse to allow yourself to be swayed by him. 

“Aeons- ‘Yuan please,” you huff quietly, but he notices the way your voice catches in your throat. His golden eyes briefly shine with what could only be described as mischief and, with a smooth motion, Jing Yuan grabs ahold of your shoulder and swivels you around so that your back is against his chest. A surprised oof rips from your throat as you bounce lightly on the bed from the impact- he lowers his face to yours, a rich, deep chuckle echoing in your ears as your resolve begins to melt away. 

Taking advantage of the new position, Jing Yuan throws a leg over yours to trap you in and, in turn, grinds his growing bulge against your ass. If he wasn’t hard at the sight of your face in the morning when he first woke up, he sure was now; while he slowly ruts against you, he allows his hands to wander down to the hem of your shirt. 

You stifle a moan as the metaphorical dam in your head begins to crumble apart. Sure, you would see him when you would get back home later, but you were with him now. Laying here with your lover, safe and comfortable in his arms while his clothed erection lazily thrusts up into your heat. 

As you let out needy whines that you aren’t even aware you’re voicing, Jing Yuan brings his lips closer to your ear. “Five more minutes?” he asks with a knowing smile, his own breath becoming more and more rugged the more he rubs up against you. Gods, he could feel you throbbing through his sweatpants and your panties. 

You swallow thickly and whine in response, your head already fogging up with desire. Going a whole two weeks without sex wasn’t particularly hard; you had your trusty toy with you and your hands if it happened to run out of battery and you were that desperate. But you weren’t- and during these past two weeks you had felt just fine, totally not pent up or even the slightest bit sexually frustrated. Your job had kept you busy, but when you’re stuck in Jing Yuan’s arms after not feeling him for so long, after not feeling his cock twitching inside you, you felt like something snapped inside you.

Distantly, you think about how pathetic this must look for him; only a few lingering touches and his hips pressing up against yours from the back and that’s all it takes for you to drench your panties. But really, you couldn’t care less. You knew he was just as pent up as you were. 

You bring one of your hands down to fumble with the hem of your panties to quickly take them off, down your legs. Hearing Jing Yuan’s hoarse breathing in your ears only made you even more eager to feel his skin right up against yours. Maybe part of the reason why you were so incredibly turned on was because of how tired you still felt, but either way, you needed him. And he needed you just as badly. 

The general’s hands leave you temporarily to slide his sweatpants down to his thighs, low enough for his cock to leave its confines. Precum builds at the tip, swollen and pulsing with the need to bury itself inside you. He sighs, one of his hands coming up to stroke his length, thumb sliding over the slit every time his fist comes up. You whine at the loss of his hands on you and reach back to take his hand, bringing it between your legs to rub your clit. He laughs at your impatience, shifting his weight on his other arm to lean over you properly. 

“Someone’s impatient and greedy,” he goads. “I thought you wanted to get to work, darling,” he purrs in your ear, his middle and ring finger coming together to tease your bud, riling you up further and making a mess between your legs. A strained fuck leaves your lips as you back your ass up into him, his hard cock tucked between your thighs, rubbing into your arousal. “Please just-” a whimper interrupts you as Jing Yuan increases the pace of his fingers, “-inside. I-I need to feel you,” you huff, feeling too empty. He considers teasing you some more, listening to the wet sounds of your pussy bounce off the walls of your shared bedroom, but his own patience was also waning thin. 

A quiet noise of protest leaves you when the man takes his hand away from your bud. He brings his fingers up to his lips to lick your slick off of them, moaning at the taste. Your thighs clench in response, jerking the general’s cock unintentionally. 

“Fuck,” he growls into your ear, hurriedly taking his length into his hand to guide it into your soaking wet cunt. Your mouth hangs open when you feel his tip slip between your lips, needy noises slipping from your mouth. Inch after inch he sinks into you, slowly letting you accommodate to his girth. He finally bottoms out, stretching your hole as you keen and whine from the satisfaction of feeling so full. 

He waits a few beats to allow you to get used to him, your hoarse breathing matching his own. When he feels you clamping down on him less, he starts to thrust- pulling out slowly and thrusting back in sharply. You moan aloud, mouth agape as his cock bullies your spongy walls relentlessly. 

“Jing Yua-aan,” you whimper, hands gripping onto his forearms weakly, nails forming crescent shapes into his skin. He reduces you to a sleepy, blabbering, moaning mess as the sound of skin slapping against skin echoes in the bedroom. With one hand splayed across your lower tummy, he presses down, making you arch your back into him from the sudden added pressure and pleasure. 

“Y’ like that? You missed me, huh?” he taunts, though his own voice trails off into a needy moan the more he feels the drag of your walls along his cock. “I know I’ve- fuck, m-missed you,” Jing Yuan stutters, thrusts becoming increasingly sloppy as he feels a familiar coil form in his abdomen. His thigh muscles clench as he wills away his orgasm, needing to feel you all around him for a bit longer. 

Unable to respond you simply nod dumbly, the words leaving your brain as it’s reduced to mush. Your lover hums, a smirk stretching his lips, “Yeah?” He brings his face closer to yours, your breaths tangling with each other before he smashes his lips against yours, the angle awkward and uncomfortable. But you don’t care- the added stimulation makes you melt as you crane your head back to kiss him properly, your lips occasionally leaving his from the force of his thrusts. 

Jing Yuan moans into your mouth and breaks the kiss. He looks at you with pure lust swirling in his golden eyes, your face sinful and needy. An idea pops up in the general’s mind and he smiles down at you, pressing one last chaste kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“Ah, w-what are you-” you slur, your sentence interrupted by the general manhandling you to switch positions. He kicks the sheets off completely and places both of his large hands on your waist, gripping you firmly as he lays on his back, placing you on top him. His cock slips out of your walls with a wet shlick and you whine at the feeling of being so suddenly empty, twisting your body so that your thighs straddle his hips. Jing Yuan looks up at you with a small, cat-like smirk and your breath catches in your throat. 

His silky hair splayed out on the pillows beneath him, cheeks flushed, and eyes piercing into yours made your knees buckle and you suddenly froze in your movements. Feeling your pussy throb against him, Jing Yuan chuckles heartily, one of his hands leaving your waist to stroke his hard cock, your slick dripping down on him. 

“Lift your hips up and sit on my cock, darling,” he orders softly, a stark contrast to the way he looks at you- with pure, unfiltered lust and adoration. Your body moves automatically as you obey, hovering your tight pussy over his swollen tip, and lower yourself down. Your mouth opens in a silent moan, and you feel his girth stretching you out again as you begin to bounce on his hard cock. 

“Yeahh just like that,” he hums, the hand that held his length moving up to rest on your stomach, thumb jutting out to rub tight circles over your sensitive clit. You squeak in surprise, your body jolting forward, and place your hands over his plush chest for balance. “Feels good, baby? Feel how deep my cock is?” 

A moan leaves his kiss-bitten lips and you swear you physically felt yourself get pushed closer to your nearing orgasm, the noises leaving his lips amplifying your pleasure tenfold. “Taking me so well, look at that pretty pussy,” he coos, and you keen as his half-lidded eyes burn into yours. He feels your walls clench in response to the praise and flashes you a dangerous smirk; he places his feet flat on the bed and tightens his grip on your waist to buck his hips up, making you topple over him. Your gaze is unfocused and blurry as you look down at him, heavy breaths leaving your lips, tears threatening to roll down your rosy cheeks from the pace he set. 

“And look at you,” he whispers lovingly under his breath. Jing Yuan throws his head back deeper into the pillows, keeping his eyes on you as he watches you lose yourself to the addicting feeling of his cock bullying your sopping cunt. “Y-Yuan,” you whine, your climax threatening to rip through you as you bite your lip to stifle your needy moans. He tuts, leaning up to bite your lip to pull you out of your pleasure-filled daze. 

“Pay attention to me darling. Thaat’s it, let 'em out for me.” The general huffs, brows furrowing in concentration to focus on the feeling of your warm walls surrounding him, sucking him in endlessly. His thumb presses down onto your clit roughly to bring you closer to your orgasm; you whimper in turn, a chorus of oh fuck and please’s leaving your puffy lips. “I-I’m so close,” you whine, eyelids fluttering shut as you feel your control leaving your body, the tight coil of your orgasm threatening to snap. 

Jing Yuan groans, hips bucking up into you, heavy balls slapping against your ass as he keeps up the pace, persistent. “Come on, give it to me, pretty girl.” He coos, voice breaking into a whine, close to climaxing himself. His thrusts become sloppier, and he bites his bottom lip to stifle a string of hearty, needy moans. 

His hips still up into you as he cums, thick ropes of his seed painting your walls white. Jing Yuan’s thumb flicks your puffy clit until you climax as well, your cunt milking his sensitive cock. You whimper, feeling your clit buzz with overstimulation as he keeps rubbing it with purpose. “S-Stop, stooop,” you cry, your eyes burning with tears as the dull pain turns into pleasure, “Aeons you’re so tight.” Your lover slows down his movements, easing the tension in his muscles, until he stops circling your clit and gently places both of his hands on your waist. His hands slide up and down your sweaty skin, soothing the bruises that will inevitably form.

Your body slumps, exhausted and utterly spent, arms caging him as you rest your face in the crook of his neck. You both feel sticky and sweaty, but the warmth you shared made up for the need to jump in the shower to wash yourselves off. Jing Yuan shifts his hips so that his softening cock slips out of you; he inhales sharply, his cock still sensitive. 

“I missed you,” you mumble quietly, voice muffled from the way you're pressed into him and the pillows and press a chaste kiss to his neck. “Yeah? I never would have guessed,” the general chuckles, arms coming up to hug you tightly, one hand placed behind your head to cradle you close to him. You hit him with a huff but then sigh, content. 

“Mmh, but I missed you too, darling,” Jing Yuan replies softly. He holds you as your eyes droop, exhaustion taking ahold of your tired body. His own eyelids droop as he listens to your soft heartbeat, and soon enough, you’re both sleeping, legs tangled together while Jing Yuan’s strong arms keep you laid atop of him. 

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

You’re not sure what time it is when you wake up, but you hear a phone ringing loudly in your ear, jolting you away from your peaceful dreams. You don’t recognize the tune, and as you’re about to wriggle your way out of the dozing general’s arms, he swings one arm over to the nightstand next to your bed and answers it without looking at the caller ID. “Jing Yuan speaking,” he says in a hoarse voice, eyes still closed. 

Even without his phone on speaker you could make out a very loud, very shrill voice from the other side of the line, yelling out two hours late, a single mission and get your ass over here. Jing Yuan doesn’t react, the same sleepy, cat-like smile on his face as he listens to the person rant. They eventually let up and hang up, saying something you couldn’t quite catch. Your lover haphazardly tosses his phone somewhere on the bed and loops his arm back around you, nuzzling into your neck. 

“Who was that?” you ask, voice cracking from how much you abused your vocal cords (apparently) two hours ago. He scoffs, amused, and pulls away just enough to speak clearly. 

“Lady Fu Xuan,” he says slyly. “I should get dressed before she decides to read into my divination and sees things she probably shouldn’t.”

[redflagshipwriter]

Mamabat Chapter 11: the trap snaps shut

masterpost

Five vans peeled into view, rocketing around the curved road fast enough that they visibly tilted through the turn. They all bristled with weaponry.

Cass felt her lips press into a faint line. She glanced at Dannybaby: scared. I knew it. Here they are.

They didn’t have to talk about it. The three adults stepped out and put their backs to ring Danny, facing outwards to the threat.

“Shoot the racks,” she commanded. The mounted weapons. She didn’t like that. She pulled out a batarang herself and squinted to find her aim. The construction? Sloppy. Exposed wires. Weakness.

A gun cocked. “Aye aye, captain.” Jason hefted a gun in each hand and started shooting as the vans screeched to a stop in a circle around them. Bang! Sparks flew where he hit. Cass and Dickiebird did the same with quieter precision, slicing wires and leaving projectiles sticking into the metal monstrosities. Electricity sparked. Just in time: machines whined as they were powered on. One gave out with a huge bang!  The van attached to it jolted as the machine punched a huge dent into the roof. White smoke floated away, clouding the nighttime scene with a chemical stink.

“Whoa,” Danny breathed.

She felt a twinge of satisfaction.

Jason hit the last set-up with a bang! Bang! Then his foot scuffed across the pavement to knock against Danny’s. Check, you’re here, you’re safe, you’re little.

“They’ll come out!” Danny warned.

He was right. Doors clicked unlocked all around them and men in white suits piled out, futuristic looking guns aimed at the little group. 

She felt a twinge of disbelief. “Can’t shoot,” Cass said. No way. So dumb. They were in a circle. Friendly fire, new concept to losers??

They shot. She hit the ground in a roll and trusted that everyone else would. They did. She turned her head to see that one agent was down from friendly fire. There was no blood as he was lifted off his feet and blasted backwards against the van he came out of.

“Ghost scum!” howled one of the suits.

“We knew it!” 

The victory in their voices set her blood boiling. Cass launched herself to the closest opponent and took him down with a nasty hit. She whirled on the next one, two mean hits. Go, go, clear the area! She heard feet scuffling and weapons whining as they fired, fired, fired on the boys.

She took number 4 down as the smoke was starting to clear. She heard a pained oof from the center, where Jason and Dickiebird were blocking Danny.

“Jason!” Danny said. He sounded very young. “Oh, shit.” Cass cast a frantic glance over at his posture and sucked in a breath even as she bulleted towards the next opponent. Determined. I have to do this. Here we go! 

No, no!

Jason was down. Dickiebird was darting between Jason and the man actively firing. Danny was pale. He opened his mouth. He put his palms out. He flashbanged. 

She blinked away stars and slammed a man’s head into a van before he could aim at her. Slam, slam, drop. She stole another glance. Danny was- Danny had white hair now and he was flashing green light at their enemies. Hm. She couldn’t afford to watch. Cass bared her teeth, angry. 

Air sizzled: GIW firing wildly. Guns fired: Jason was still conscious. Danny yelped: what? 

Cass didn’t dare look more. She moved faster than Batman could ever, brutally taking down these criminals with disdainful ease. They had nothing but numbers and lasers. 

Green shot past her vision. She traced it back: Danny! Her eyes went wide. Wow. He had some kind of organic blast, like Starfire. Very useful! 

 It wasn’t enough. Danny screamed. She heard him hit the ground. Sizzling.

She howled, wordless with fury. She tackled the next agent and cracked his head against the pavement. Only two more. She flung a batarang down the barrel aimed at her and then yanked the weapon away to brutally jab the air out of the agent’s diaphragm. Cass tossed it at him as he fell. Solid thunk. It hit his head.

The last man tried to say something, white teeth flashing in the gloom. Her ears were closed to it. The only language she spoke right now was violence. She used it to get him down and wrench him into zip ties. She could hear Dickiebird talking his soothing sounds at Danny baby. Cass wanted to go there. Cass wanted to soothe him. She wanted to see his hurts. 

But she had to secure the area. She rushed around to the groaning and crying men she had put down. She immobilized them. The foolish ones tried to get up as she approached. The smart one (and there was only one) held his hands out, eyes wide in the night. He talked at her. Beseeching, reasoning, she just doesn’t understand. You’re like me. Not like them.

Cass snarled. She understood just fine. She pressed his face into the ground harshly, fingers digging into his jaw. “Shut up,” she gritted out. She left him with effort, ignoring the mean impulse to smack him. 

All the boys were on the ground. There was no blood. Eyes open. Not dead.

Something in her gun unclenched.

Dickiebird looked up at her from where he was supporting Jason, sitting halfway with a grimace as he holstered his guns. Hands shaking. “He’ll be fine!” Danny pressed his body against Jason like he was trying to absorb his body heat. His hair was black again and his eyes looked tired. “He, uh, it’s shock,” Dannybaby babbled. She knelt to rub at his back, silently encouraging the explanation. “They basically zapped his ecto, stopped circulation. It should start up again in a few minutes and he’ll feel fine.”

“Get off,” Jason grunted. He shoved at Dickiebird. Weak. “I feel fine.”

Lie.

“I feel drained,” he admitted. “But fine. Just weak. I can stand.” He struggled to stand, biting his lip. He swayed only slightly. “Man,” he cursed under his breath. Jason cast an unhappy look at the 14 agents groaning on the ground, on their bellies like the worms they were with hands ziptied at their backs. “Not my best showing.”

“Next time, you could dodge,” Dickiebird suggested lightly. 

“You’re lucky it got him and not you,” Danny snapped. “Didn’t you see that guy go flying?”

Tense. Dickiebird paused. Smile. Soothe. “I’m only teasing,” he said. “It’s fine, Danny.”

“None of this is fine!” Cass swiveled her head to make sweltering eye contact with the scumbag who was cutting in. He was bold, for someone with his cheek digging into the rocks and cement. “By the authority of the US Government, you are required to submit these ecto-entities for testing and capture into our custody. Release us, or face dire consequences!”

Cass looked at him. She felt hate. Disdain. You’re nothing, you’re a worm to me. 

“They’re telling the truth,” Danny whispered. “It’s, uh, it’s legal.” He looked haunted. He rubbed at his chest: some memory of sharp pain.

Dickiebird snorted and slung an arm over Danny’s narrow shoulders. “Maybe by US laws, but Oa has jurisdiction that supersedes. This was a clear case of assault.” He gave an unpleasant smile. Big brother. Big angry. Guard dog at the door. “I’ll make a call.” 

The next minutes felt very long. Cass pressed Danny’s face into her shoulder so that he didn’t have to make eye contact with the fallen agents. She stroked his hair with her free hand, boiling inside with fury. 

Dickiebird called. A Green Lantern answered: coming.

They waited. Jason said he felt better. His body said: mostly better. But strange. They ignored the threats and complaints from the GIW men on the ground.

Hal Jordan came, with one more Green Lantern that Cass didn’t know. He gathered up prisoners in a green veil. He talked with Dickiebird. He nodded, and left.

“I wanna go home,” Danny said quietly. “But I think that we need to get Jason to my doctor. He’s really not right. It’s… It might be time sensitive.”

[drvscarlett]

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

Alex Albon x Horner!Reader

Summary: Max Verstappen and Sebastian Vettel may be Christian's favorites. But Y/N Horner has her own favorites.

The Tortured Drivers' Department series

A/N: one of my favorite tracks and i hope i could give it justice. let me know what you folks think

Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr

I'll tell you something right now you ain't gotta pray for me Me and my wild boy and all of this wild joy

LittleMissY/N what a fun winter break bonding before the 2019 season starts. aren't we cute #GiveYouButterflyWings

PierreGasly the disrespect, my face is cut off after taking so many photos of you!!!

LittleMissY/N sorry not sorry PierreGasly Seb is also upset that you didn't even include him in that photo. LittleMissY/N tell the man to make an ig first.

MaxVerstappen33 why did the rookie get a solo shot before I did???

LittleMissY/N don't be jealous maxie, atleast you're still in the family mantle MaxVerstappen33 you are not slick Y/N tsk, im telling your dad LittleMissY/N respectfully, fuck off!

Alex_Albon it was nice meeting you Y/N!

LittleMissY/N its so good to meet you too alex :))) PierreGasly suspicious behavior!

User3 enjoy your time out there with the boys!

User5 anyone notices how Y/N is literally teasing everyone and then when it comes to alex she seems shy

User7 I smell a crushhhh User9 be for real, maybe its because alex is a rookie and Y/N didn't bond well with him yet.

LittleMissY/N dad took me to work and not bad for a rookie!

ChristianHorner I'm not taking you to work again

LittleMissY/N don't you miss me?? i thought you missed me ChristianHorner not anymore LittleMissY/N too bad, im applying for a job in f1

PierreGasly are you even watching the race??

LittleMissY/N yeah, you missed the points lmao! PierreGasly i hate you

Alex_Albon not a really good start for me but I'll try better next time!

LittleMissY/N dont stress, you have plenty more opportunities to do well! I'll see you next GP? Alex_Albon of course, I mean I'm being paid to drive that car hahaha LittleMissY/N you're funny PierreGasly are you seeing this MaxVerstappen33 MaxVerstappen33 im dying out of laughter LittleMissY/N I'm gonna pay your mechanics to miss out a few screws

User5 she is so pretty!!! how come she is christian's daughter?

User7 I met her during FP1 and girlie is so in love with a driver

User8 i think we know why Y/N is coming around the races.

Alex_Albon happy to get some points for today! My first in my rookie year!

User2 Amazing job today Alex

User3 Alex Albon, you make us all proud!!!

LittleMissY/N GET IN THERE ALEX!!!!! BLOODY AMAZING!!! SUPERB DRIVE!!!

Alex_Albon thanks Y/N, i can hear you shouting from Red Bull to Toro Rosso LittleMissY/N this is amazing news and everyone has to hear it!!!!!

User5 alex and Y/N are so cuteeee!!! Y/N is so excited for Alex's first points

User7 anyone else ships Y/N and Alex??

F1Fans OOF! Albon suffers a big crash during the practice session in Shanghai. Do we think choosing Albon is the right choice for this season?

User1 nasty crash, too bad that he will be missing qualifying.

User2 c'mon be a little more lenient to the guy, shanghai is a difficult track

User3 should be sacked tbh

User4 why are they allowing albon to drive? he isn't that good.

LittleMissY/N oh get over yourself. i bet you can't even drive an f1 car even if you tried. Drivers crash every now and then, Alex Albon is a fantastic driver that's why Toro Rosso got him. This is just a bad weekend for him but I'm sure he will bounce back for the actual race. User7 my surprise when I realize that its actually Y/N Horner defending Alex Albon's honor User8 we love Y/N in this household.

User9 praying for a better race results for Alex

PierreGasly posted a story...

LittleMissY/N replied: HOW DARE YOUUU???? WHO IS THAT RAT???

LittleMissY/N but tbh thats a genuine reaction. imagine starting from p20 and ending up into p10??? LittleMissY/N OH PIERRE QUIT IGNORING ME! LittleMissY/N i hate you so much

Alex_Albon replied: oh no, what happened to her??

PierreGasly your biggest fan has a bit of a teary moments. She is currently filling up my DMs with how much of an amazing driver you are Alex_Albon that's really nice of Y/N

MaxVerstappen33 replied: man Y/N is down bad

PierreGasly i knowwww MaxVerstappen33 christian just walked in to ask if Y/N has a crush on Alex PierreGasly its so obvioussss MaxVerstappen33 well except for alex lol

GeorgeRussell63 with my best mate Alex_Albon !!

LittleMissY/N Well hello there georgie

GeorgeRussell63 hello miss Y/N Horner, what are you doing around here?? LittleMissY/N just saw you tag alex and figured i should say hi to his bestie GeorgeRussell63 im watching you LittleMissY/N ditto :))

Alex_Albon we look good there!

LittleMissY/N you look extremely handsome there Alex MaxVerstappen33 simppppp LittleMissY/N im gonna crash your car

User5 another bestfriends making it to formula 1 together

User7 its so funny how Y/N shows up in any tagged photos of alex, miss maam you are whippedt!!!

LittleMissY/N I'm off to crash anyone who crashes him in the next race. Mark my words!!!!!!!! Still a great drive from AA, my favorite driver <3

Alex_Albon thanks so much for the support Y/N. No need to crash to anyone

LittleMissY/N okay but my offer will always stand

PierreGasly you are sooooo down bad

LittleMissY/N I'm going to put you down

User6 is Y/N, Alex's girlfriend.

User7 i think she likes him and alex is so oblivious User9 yeah, Y/N likes alex so much LittleMissY/N shut it.

User11 i just love how supportive she is with alex being a rookie and all

ROOKIE ALBON DEFENDS Y/N HORNER.

In a recent interview, someone made a mistake of putting Y/N Horner in a bad light. Not to worry because Toro Rosso driver, Alex Albon is there to rescue. The whole thing starts with a simple question of what does Y/N contributes to the team to which Albon answers that Y/N is the social media manager. The interviewer made the mistake of commenting how anyone could do that job. This statement seems to anger the rookie as he defends her by listing down her educational achievements and how her role is important to the team. Albon refused to answer any question with that reporter and Christian Horner has placed an indefinite ban for his drivers to speak with the reporter.

LittleMissY/N when he defends you:

PierreGasly i would have hit that reporter's face if i was there

LittleMissY/N awww pierre, i knew you always had a soft spot for me. PierreGasly only we (max, seb, danny, and me) can make fun of you MaxVerstappen33 facts! LittleMissY/N good to know

User4 red bull boys lining up to protect their princess

User5 i swear, aren't they together yet???

GeorgeRussell63 when did i consent being posted as a meme???

LittleMissY/N since you became my new bestieeeee GeorgeRussell63 i also don't recall consenting to that LittleMissY/N its only a matter of time before you accept it.

LittleMissY/N gonna miss you so much pierreeeeeee anw time to transfer to red bull

User4 not the black and white photo

User5 its so weird to swap teammates in the middle of the season

PierreGasly dumbass.

LittleMissY/N I'll continue cheering you on always PierreGasly aren't you the sweetest? LittleMissY/N this is available for a limited time only

Alex_Albon thanks for the welcome again to RB maxverstappen33 LittleMissY/N

PierreGasly hey i gave you my seat, a little thank u would be great Alex_Albon thank you Pierre LittleMissY/N stop fighting alex, he is so kind PierreGasly oh c'mon!!!! MaxVerstappen33 mate, Y/N will always drop us for Alex. Dont forget that LittleMissY/N smartest person as ever Max

Alex_Albon the car is feeling really good for my first race in Red Bull. Good race from p14 to p5!

LittleMissY/N PROUD OF YOU ALEX!!! THAT WAS AN AMAZING DRIVE

User1 i swear Y/N you have notifs on for alex Alex_Albon thank you Y/N!!!

User3 Alex really deserves to be moved up with that RB seat

User4 RB proving themselves to be a big challenge to Mercedes this year

User5 sucks that max dnf this race, just imagine the next race where they can be stronger!!!!

LittleMissY/N i hate corona so much but im facetiming my bestfriend Alex and life seems a little bit better. Stay safe everyone

PierreGasly my beSTfrIend Alex

LittleMissY/N go to hell Pierre PierreGasly lolololollllll whippedt culture

User5 im pretty sure you miss the races as much as we do

LittleMissY/N for real but we have to make sure that its safe to race again

User5 queen Y/N!

User8 i love their little livestream on twitch every now and then. Its the best thing to pass time

User10 love you queen Y/N

LittleMissY/N BACK TO RACING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Alex_Albon quite excited to support us again?

LittleMissY/N of course, im red bull's biggest fan! MaxVerstappen33 red bull fan or alex albon fan? LittleMissY/N its good for you to know your place luv

User7 ITS RACE WEEKEND!!!

User8 look at them wearing masks, you should all do that too

User9 i cant tell you how much i missed races

F1Fans ICYMI, Checo Perez is getting that second Red Bull seat in 2021.

User1 wow checo??? congrats man!

User2 what about alex???

User3 im pretty sure a certain Horner is not happy with the decision User4 Im actually waiting for her reaction

LittleMissY/N AND THIS IS HOW I WILL FIND OUT????

LittleMissY/N you broke this family apart ChristianHorner LittleMissY/N BUT WHY???? User7 Y/N is just like us for real

User8 good riddance for albon, max needs a better teammate

User10 the only reason why albon has this seat is because Y/N Horner likes him a lot. LittleMissY/N everything that alex does is based on his pure talent. My dad won't even let me into meetings that's why im just as surprised as everyone regarding this decision. and fyi im gonna send this to my lawyers. User9 don't play with Y/N when it comes to alex.

LittleMissY/N Grill the grid episode, the one where I made them cook for my birthday

ChristianHorner happy birthday dear

User1 happy birthday to our queen, i hope lando made something edible for you!

User3 look at Y/N's birthday full of red bull current, former, and reserve drivers

PierreGasly sorry I couldn't make it but happy birthday to my soul sister

MaxVerstappen1 hoping for more birthdays for you Y/N

Schecoperez happy birthday hermana!

CarlosSainz55 Happy birthday little miss Y/N

Alex_Albon Happy birthday Y/N, hope you like your birthday!

LittleMissY/N thanks alex <3 User4 everyone been commenting on her post but she only responded to alex User9 girlie u r so whipped!!!

GeorgeRussell63 I wish you can get a seat next year mate

User5 i know, i think alex is wasting his potential being red bull's reserve driver

User7 right?? checo's chemistry with max is really good and i dont think christian will sacrifice that User8 i just want a decent team for alex

LittleMissY/N Are you cooking something georgie?

GeorgeRussell63 that depends, are you helping? LittleMissY/N for our common friend, absolutely User9 now what does this mean???? User10 anyone wanna tell me what's george and y/n conspiring together???

F1Fans No news about Albon's contract in 2022 and today we have seen Albon talking with Christian. It doesn't seem like its about contract renewal.

User2 anyone wanna bet that Christian is talking to Alex about Y/N

User3 what is going on, where will Alex be in 2022

User4 if alex switches teams then would Y/N switch too?

User5 i mean she already did it with toro rosso and red bull User6 but this is like the same group. What if Albon goes to Mercedes or McLaren, would Y/N join there too?? User7 blood is thicker than water everyone User5 i dont think yall understand how much of a simp Y/N is that she can go anywhere Alex goes.

User9 i just want alex to be in an f1 seat in 2022.

LittleMissY/N new hair, new color!

MaxVerstappen1 booooooooo!!! navy blue supremacy

LittleMissY/N i won't be taking any fashion advice from the man who literally wears only Red Bull merch. MaxVerstappen1 hey once upon a time you were always wearing our team merch especially when its no. 23 LittleMissY/N have fun crashing in the next race.

WilliamsRacing we like the color! Suits you!

User1 what is going onnnnn User2 i think alex is transferring to williams RedBullRacing im watching you

RedBullRacing we miss you queen!

LittleMissY/N aww, miss you!

WilliamsRacing Albon joins Williams for 2022! He will be partnering up with Nicholas Latifi, who retains his seat.

LittleMissY/N LETS GO!!!!!! FINALLY, ALBON BACK IN AN F1 SEAT

User1 Trying to beat Y/N in commenting and liking first, failed.

User3 so this is what george and Y/N is cooking.

User8 goodluck to alex!!!

User7 hoping that this time around, he can stick around for the long run.

Alex_Albon seas the day

User1 OMG BOYFRIEND ALEX????

User3 i think my bestie Y/N is crying somewhere rn

User4 i didn't expect alex has a girlfriend

User5 alex?? what are you doing?? this isn't Y/N

User7 have fun at your vacation alex!!!1

MaxVerstappen1 mate, who is she??

PierreGasly you should have warned us you were softlaunching someone

CarlosSainz55 congrats with the relationship bro!

Alex_Albon exploring the city with her.

User5 she takes so good photos of alex!

User7 queen Y/N its been 36 days since you last commented

User8 i fear girlie is heartbroken User9 i hope Y/N is okay

User10 alex and his girl are so perfect together

MaxVerstappen1 who is she alex??? cmon answer your phone

PierreGasly I swear were not sent by Christian to ask about this new girl of yours

WilliamsRacing pretty girl for a pretty boy!

Alex_Albon indeed <3

LittleMissY/N unbothered queen, so sorry for stabbing you GirlInRed

GirlInRed it hurts kind of little but anything for your therapy

User4 not Y/N fake stabbing someone because of Alex's girl

User6 this is so funny, Y/N

User8 so beautiful! you deserve better

MaxVerstappen1 well you know violence isn't always the answer.

LittleMissY/N oh really coming from you? MaxVerstappen1 cmon, I'll pick you up. Tell me where you are and lets talk LittleMissY/N i don't need to talk, im happy where i am

PierreGasly are you sure you're okay?

LittleMissY/N I have answered you a hundred times, im fine!!!!! PierreGasly Im still getting you ice cream LittleMissY/N awww pierre, you didn't have to

Alex_Albon merry christmas everybody!

MaxVerstappen1 hold up, did i miss a chapter or something???

PierreGasly is this a joke or something???

User4 I thought you have a girlfriend???

User7 all along its Y/N??? IT WAS Y/N ALL ALONG?

User9 lucky lucky lucky

GeorgeRussell63 FINALLY! I have been laughing so much with all the conspiracy online

MaxVerstappen1 you knew and you never even told us??? LandoNorris mate why didn't you even tell me? I thought we are 2019 rookies trio Alex_Albon sorry mates, i just have to keep this a secret a little longer

WilliamsRacing what a happy couple, so can we post your photos now?

RedBullRacing she is still our girl WilliamsRacing i think you should ask her about that

LittleMissY/N thankful for almost a year and a half with you

User4 what??? A YEAR AND A HALF???

User7 this is probably going on ever since Alex has moved to Williams

User8 my romeo and juliet!

ChristianHorner why am i not informed that it has been this long?

LittleMissY/N but daddy i love him :< ChristianHorner no. LittleMissY/N but what if im carrying his baby? ChristianHorner jesus christ, tell me you are kidding. LittleMissY/N i am but see it could be worse. i mean we just hid our relationship and not an entire family. ChristianHorner fine. invite him over and lets talk LittleMissY/N yay!!!

MaxVerstappen1 who knew you could keep a secret for that long???

PierreGasly Im more surprised that she was able to bag alex, are you sure you are perfectly sane Alex_Albon? Alex_Albon well I really really love her LittleMissY/N alex :< you used the love word Alex_Albon i mean you should have been used to it when you hear it everyday from when you wake up and before you fall asleep MaxVerstappen1 YOU TWO MAKE ME SICKKKKKK!!!!! NOT IN MY COMMENT SECTION

User10 folks i think we should apply to Y/N's school of being down bad and manifesting their dream partner

User15 what a lovely couple they are, goals!!!

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X ROBLOX NOOB! READER

prompt: your best friend John Doe hacked you into a universe where hell is much different in your mind

“OOF-” you said as you press the buttons on your ps5. A portal opens as blocky person with yellow skin exits out of the portal looking at you. “JD!” You said with a “:P” face. “noob…you get to get out the house more…” John Doe said with a static voice as he picked up your bloxy body and thrown you into a portal as you kept smiling

“:) yay I’m falling.” You said out loud as you felt yourself fall in the air. You fell but landed on your feet like always. You look around to see that it smell like must, ass, and most importantly fire. You walked around just smiling as demons and sinners looked as if you were some weirdo…..

You came across the hotel and applied for a job to be the schedule manager. You got a red outfit to match vaggie and Charlie as you grab a flat board and started to write who gets to do what.

Noob! Reader is the type to pull out a cannon out of fucking no where and fuck someone’s life up🦆(a/n: pinkie pie type shit)

I can see Alastor watching you do a r6 dance as he just looked at you weirdly with a strained smile. You literally said out loud “/E DANCE!” And started to dance 😭

Lucifer got scared because he accidentally let you dove off a roof…but you respawned with a blue force field around you making Lucifer think you were an angel.

You love the egg boiz as they love you too! You do color sheets with them as Pentious brings you guys some cookies like a mom💗

You had onetime pulled a chainsaw out because husk said he needed to get a haircut on his fur. You literally pullled it out of no while husk jolted looking at your crazed face as you reved it up.

“You said you needed a hair cut!!” “I SAID HAIR CUT! NOT END MY LIFE YOU FUCKER!” Husk yells back as you chase him smiling like “:D” with the chainsaw. It was giving scooby doo as you kept chasing him.

Lucifer would be weirded out with Noob as noob just sticks their tongue out like the :P face while Lucifer pokes you curious about your game like box body.

I imagine noob! Reader showing Charlie a picture of bacon hair boy who is doing orange justice in the back. “Oh is that your friend?” Charlie says with a nervous smile at how your friend’s hair literally looks like bacon or is. You nodded excitedly as you wave your phone happily at bacon hair boy.

You blasted “it’s raining tacos” outside of the Vee’s tower when learning your friends had opps in there. So you wanted to annoy them.

This lasted for 2 days until vaggie had found you and took you home as you screamed out the song LOUD AND PROUD

I can imagine Lucifer making you a duck hat that says “don’t duck with me!” It’s so cute 🦆

I headcannon noob!reader to be the most dangerous being in hell as they literally been to every other gun and fighting game of the roblox universe.

NOOB SOLOS‼️‼️🔥

You know those badass Roblox games with those cool combat moves? That’s what you use. 🤨

You grabbed a sinner’s face and run dragging their body in the ground with a smile. You lifted your arm and swing them around as they flew to who knows where as the crew behind you had an either shocked or entertained face.

One time Charlie and you were shopping in a mall and you peaked over the boarder to keep people from falling. “I wonder if I can die from this height.” “NOOB NO-” that’s when you had to get a kid leash on you anytime you go out with the staff.

It was a nice day as Angel was throwing knives to increase his skills. You walked by him curiously grabbing two knives and throwing them at the same time. Making it hit the bullseye as Angel looked at you shock.

“Whoa kid, how did you learn to do that?” Angel asked pulling out the knives you made in the bullseye. “I was murder once!” You said with a happy smile as you walked away. Angel dust has the most confused face ever(picture below)

I headcannon noob!reader to be like Kirby. So like noob pulls out a knife to be murder, and then they could pull out a gun as Sheriff✨🦆

“Pew pew pew” you said as you stood on the balcony of the hotel as you shot at random sinners. Alastor appeared behind you confused but laughs at the misery of the sinner running when a missed shot almost killed them.

One time Angel gave you a Tommy gun not suspecting you know how to use it….you literally started to blast sinners away-

You SHOT AN OLD LADY ALSO😨

yeah Angel never gave you his Tommy gun ever again.

As you stayed in hell, you didn’t know that you would be spied on by the angels as Adam laughs at how chaotic and naive you are.

You’re so use to bullshit in Roblox you just stand there like “🧍🏾” as shit goes on. Literally when Charlie was panicking when the extermination was due in 6 months

During a uno game you ate a card as husk was trying to win but forfeited in anger as you screamed out uno. Leaving the missing card out of your mouth….it got quiet so quick as husk chased after you.

Niffty finds you amazing as you both have crazed tendencies. You both literally cause made chaos around places 🤭

YOU USE YOUR ADOPT ME SCAMMING SKILLS TO SCAM PEOPLE 😭😭 I CAN SEE THIS

The overlords are confused when they see Lucifer bring you to a meeting for once. You just sat there eating a taco. “Ello.” You said waving your blocky arm at them.

When watching the horror movies with the crew, you don’t react at all with Alastor as you been in lots of horror games with that one guy named Guest…you miss home and him.

I headcannon that you once accidentally summoned John Doe because you sneezed and he literally stood there as you hugged him. The rest of the crew was confused thinking he was your brother.

[sylusdarling]

Caught Kitten

Sylus x reader

✧ How to deal with naughty kittens who don’t listen

Content: Sylus x fem!reader, vaginal sex, evol useage, switch!reader, riding

A/N: This is my first fic on this blog. I’m so excited to post. I hope you all enjoy!

You weren’t planning to give up. You had to prove to that bastard that you weren’t weak and that you were more than capable to win a simple bet like capturing a brooch. It was your third time sneaking into Sylus’ room within the past few days. Each time you’ve failed to find the brooch and it resulted with a snarky Sylus kicking you out of his room. But not tonight, you were going to find that goddamn crow brooch.

You approached the large red doors that lead into the silver haired man’s bedroom. Standing outside for a moment you inhaled a deep breath preparing for whatever may be on the other side. With a soft push of your palm against the door it opened. Cautiously you poked your head into the room, you were met with silence.

Taking soft, calculated steps you began to step foot into the room. Unfortunately for you, you failed to notice the main obstacle that was present in the room, Sylus himself. He sat on his king size bed with his head down. He sat in his signature crimson robe that unfortunately for you, hugged his body much too well. After taking a closer look you noticed that he was currently cleaning his gun. His large hand roamed over the gun as he cleaned it with a black silk handkerchief.

You prayed that he was focused enough at the task at hand that you would get a few minutes in without being kicked out. Your first stop was his bedside table. Right before you got there Sylus turned around unexpectedly and aimed the newly cleaned gun directly at you.

“Freeze.” He ordered.

You sighed already defeated and stuck your hands in the air. He approached you, gun still pointed at you. “Seems like a little kitty stumbled into somewhere she shouldn’t be once again.”

Your head drooped. “I’ll see myself out.” You turned onto your heel to leave but Sylus unexpectedly grabbed your wrist. “And who said you can leave?” His sharp red eyes starred at you as he awaited an answer.

“Well I just assumed you were going to kick me out again.”

Sylus tsked. “And I guess that means you already forgot what I said if I were to catch you sneaking into here again.” Before you could respond he began to drag you to his bed.

“W-wait!” Sylus threw you onto his bed and you landed with an “oof.”

Sylus climbed on top of you. His sharp red eyes piercing you as you were trapped underneath him. “I told you, if I were to catch you again you’d be punished.”

You scoffed, “As if being trapped here with you isn’t already punishment enough.”

“Oh sweetie, don’t say that. You’ll hurt my feelings.” The silver haired man smirked.

Flashes of black and red swirled around you and suddenly you were bound in place. Sylus used his evol to tie your hands down which left you helpless.

He grabbed your chin between his thumb and index finger as he stared at you. “Now, what will I do with you?”

You struggled against his evol even though you knew you were trapped. You laughed bitterly. “You hate me enough that this is what you resorted to?”

Sylus’ eyes narrowed dangerously at your statement. “Oh is that what you think?”

“Aren’t I right?” You scoffed.

He hummed, “I’d say it’s quite the opposite.”

He leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss. It was forceful, heated even. Like he was trying to convey something.

Once he pulled away you took a deep inhale trying to catch your breath.

“Why don’t you put your claws away, kitten?”

Turning away from Sylus you hmphed at him.

Quirking an eyebrow up, Sylus spoke. “Seems like someone has some attitude today.”

The dual coloured tendrils began to slither up under your shirt. It caused the buttons to pop.

He ran his hand up your bra. “Hm, black lace. A nice choice, It suits you.” He hooked his finger in the middle of your lace bra and pulled down which caused your breasts to spill out.

You yelped in shock. “Sylus!”

The silver haired main took one of your nipples into your mouth without breaking eye contact. His sharp, ruby eyes gazed directly into yours as he sucked which caused a full body shiver. “Maybe your mouth does have another purpose other than being a cocky bastard.”

Pulling off of you with a ‘pop’ he grinned. “Careful, talk like that will only make me harder sweetie.” Taking your hand he pressed it against his robe covered groin. And he indeed wasn’t lying about that. Feeling the hardness in your hand made you clench around nothing. Clouded by arousal, your dislike for Sylus began to fade. Instead you desired him. You needed him.

“Sylus.”

“Hm?”

“Fuck me.”

He snickered, “Seems like someone had a change of heart.”

You struggled against his evol once again. “Please. If you don’t fuck me, I will.”

“Oh really?” He flicked his wrist and suddenly his evol around your wrists dissipated. “Go ahead then.”

You glared at him as you sat up. In a swift movement you crossed the bed and pushed him down. Now he laid under you with your hands at either side of his head. His silver hair laid messily against the comforter as he looked up at you. “Oh, is kitty feeling feisty tonight?”

Your hands fumbled with the knot that held Sylus’ robe together, “You said to go ahead, so I did.”

Even though you didn’t like the man’s personality, you had eyes. He was good looking with his toned body and handsome face. It pissed you off. The fact that you couldn’t deny wanting him any longer also pissed you off. Once the robe was undone your hands glided across his skin, feeling him up. Your heated gaze scanned every inch of skin, every mole and every divot of his abs.

“Like what you see, sweetie?”

“What if I do?” You retorted.

His large hands snaked up around your waist, “Then that means I can admit that I like what I see as well.”

“Sylus, I can’t wait any longer.” You panted as you reached for his cock. His tip was already leaking, clearly affected by you.

“Then don’t.”

Lining his cock up with yourself, you began to sink down on it. He was so large and thick that you were struggling to get it to all fit. “It’s so big.”

“Come on, kitten. You can do it. You’re almost there.” Sylus was grabbing your hips to help you sink down.

Sylus threw his head back in bliss as you clenched around him. “God, you feel divine.” He spoke in what sounded like a growl.

“D-do you think I can move?” You asked.

“Take your time. If you think you’re ready go ahead but don’t push yourself too hard.” He was surprisingly caring.

Once you were comfortable enough you decided to move. Slowly you pushed yourself up almost off of his cock before you sunk back down with a whine. It felt so good. You needed more. You repeated the process slowly picking up speed. Sylus watched you like a hawk, making sure to not miss any of your gorgeous facial expressions.

He was lost in the way your body moved. Mesmerized even. “You’re absolutely perfect, kitten.” His hands roamed your body. Up the sides of your hips, your breasts, your neck. Anywhere he could get his hands on. He needed to feel you.

“I think I’m going to come.” You panted as your legs were getting sore and sweat dripped down your forehead.

“Go ahead, sweetie. You deserve it.” He said as he tweaked your breast. He leaned into your ear and on his deep, husky voice he whispered “Come for me.” And that tipped you over the edge. You saw white, blinding light as you came with a cry on Sylus’ cock.

You could tell Sylus wasn’t far behind. Leaning in, you kissed him. Tangling your hot tongues together as you grinded down on his cock.

“I’m coming, kitten.” He breathed out before he came inside you The white, hot cum filling you up. You pulled away from the kiss and let out a huff of air.

Pulling of of Sylus, you flopped down beside him on the bed absolutely exhausted. The silver haired man leaned over and brushed your messy hair out of your face.

“You did very well, kitten.”

“Thanks.” You mumbled out, exhausted.

He grabbed your hand and placed something inside of it. “I think you deserve this.” Opening your hand you were met with the brooch that you’re been searching for the whole time.

“Does this mean I pass the test?” You giggled.

He hummed, “Yes, I think your…determination is rather admirable.” You felt the weight beside you on the bed leave. Looking up you saw Sylus standing above you. He slotted his arms underneath you and picked you up bridal style.

“How about a shower?”

You snuggled into his warmth with a smile. “Sounds good.”

“Snuggling into my chest, you really are like a kitten.” You could hear the smile in his voice as he said that.

[librarygarten]

OMG I'M BEGGING FOR THE SECOND PART OF DINK AND READER MEETING

(I'm sorry if it looks aggressive 🥲)

-glitchy

Dink Kidnaps Isekai!Reader (And Regrets it Almost Immediately)

Listen, there is nothing in this world I love more than finally snapping and getting to be mean to someone. Even if that someone is a fictional villain. I have shade to throw, and WILL use this loser as an outlet for that. Please enjoy :] Part 1 ✿ Part 2 (you are here)

“Sooooo….. I’m not saying I’m opposed, but usually I’d expect a guy to at least take me to dinner first.” You roll your eyes as you struggle against the rope currently binding your arms in front of you.

“What?” The shadowy figure turns to look at you. He had been monologuing. One of his arms was still raised, as if he was about to launch into stereotypical maniacal laughter at any second.

“I’m down to try anything at least once, but I’d prefer the gentlemanly approach.” You try to stand, wobbling as you rise. (Who knew barely using your arms made getting up so much more difficult?) “I guess chivalry really is dead.”

“What are you… OH EW.” The shadow recoils, as if burned by your innuendo. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“Buddy, one of us kidnaped a person out of their bedroll and took them home, and it wasn’t me.”

“I didn’t kidnap you for anything like THAT, you sicko! Your knowledge of the universe is too valuable for the heroes to have!” he crossed his arms and stomped his foot to the ground.

“Like that would help them.” You scoff. “I know what happened on their adventures. Meaning all the stuff they ALREADY KNOW ABOUT. Not really useful when dealing with a time-hopping angsty teen made of darkness and daddy issues.” You use one of your hands to motion at him, which is difficult to do with the rope around your wrists.

“Daddy issues?” He pinches the bridge of his nose. You were giving him a migraine simply by existing. “What could you possibly be referring to?”

“I mean, you’re Dink.” You smile as he cringes at your name for him. “The first time you appear in the timeline is during Time’s adventure. Ganondorf made you and you’ve been giving off rancid vibes ever since.”

“That does not mean I have daddy issues.” Dink stares at you, red eyes bright against the shadows of the room. Is he trying to intimidate you? Poor guy. If you weren’t a fanfic-reading, depression-having twenty-something, it might have worked.

“Oh right. Some people headcanon Ganondorf is trans. Mommy issues, then. My mistake.” You smile, pretending to be embarrassed at making such a ‘mistake.’

“What? No! I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with-” Dink sputters, absolutely blind-sided by your statement. He tries to recover. “I don’t have parents! Ganondorf hasn’t been around for thousands of years at this point!”

“See, you say that, but an absence of parents is also mommy/daddy issues.” You put your hand against your hip, trying to prove your point with a pose that would make Regina George jealous. Your tied wrists make the pose less effective, but you do find something interesting: In the confusion of dealing with you after the kidnapping, Dink had apparently forgotten to take away your sword. Your quick tongue had saved you once again! 

“It doesn’t apply! I’m not a person, I’m a shadow of Link!”

“Oof.” You smirk, keeping his attention on your words as you begin to subtly drag the rope around your wrists against your blade. “I’ll add that to the list: daddy/mommy issues AND you have a complex about your existence.”

“Wait, that’s not-” Dink’s face is one of utter bewilderment.

“AND ANOTHER THING!” You interrupt him, “Don’t go calling yourself a ‘shadow of Link’ or whatever. Shadow Link is a different character from the Four Swords Adventure Manga, and he was only evil for a little bit. Not like you, Mr. I-Hate-Myself-So-Much-I’m-Going-To-Make-It-Everyone-Else’s-Problem.”

“I don’t hAte myself!” He practically shouts, trying to put you in your place. Trying to get you to shut up. Anything. But his voice cracks, and the darkness around his cheeks deepens.

“Ohhhh.” You pretend to come to a realization, all the while sawing at the rope around your wrists. “No wonder you’re so cranky! Ganondorf made you a seventeen-year-old or something! You’ve been going through puberty for the last few thousand years.”

“nO!” Dink crosses his arms, and you can’t help but notice how thin they are. He really is the splitting image of what you assume Time looked like as a teenager: built like a twig. You suppose being in a coma for seven or so years would do that to someone. He continues trying to regain his dignity. “I can turn into any form. Any Link. Wherever the Hero’s Spirit is, I am there too, as a reminder of everything inside him he is denying. Everything he is hiding from the world to be the knight in shining armor.”

Dink steps behind you for a moment before appearing at your other side with a new face: Hyrule’s. “Your poor friends certainly have a lot on their plate, don’t they?”

You glare at him as he continues his speech. You also subtly coil the now-cut rope around your hand instead of your wrist.

“Of course, there’s everyone to heal. Every scrape and scratch Link must ensure none of the others suffer.” Dink’s form blurs, and when he solidifies he looks like Four. “Every weapon needs to be made and maintained. None of the others are qualified.”

His form changes again, this time to look like Warriors. “And of course there’s managing the rag-tag army you’ve all formed. Supplies and spirits need to be kept high, even if it’s at the expense of the ever-self-sacrificing pretty boy.”

“But how can he defeat evil and save the day if he can’t even control his own head?” Dink smiles wickedly as he takes the form of Wild. He puts his hand up, and you realize he’s managed to back you against a wall. You gulp.

“How long do you figure it will take? Before they realize you don’t contribute anything.” His face changes again, to Time’s, but as he is now: an adult with a scar over his eye, not a gangly teen. “Maybe a few weeks, or even a whole month. But eventually they’ll realize you’re just a fan with nothing to give them but more problems to solve.”

“That’s not true.” You smirk before winding up and socking Dink right in the face. He goes flying backwards. Apparently, shadows don’t weigh all that much. He falls in a heap on the floor, reverting back into his teenage form. “I provide delightful commentary.”

“Sure you do. And what use is that in a fight?” Dink picks himself back up, clutching his nose. Darkness seems to flow down his hand and chin. Did you give him a bloody nose? Was that even possible?

“I mean, it worked on you last time.” You shrug and back away, never taking your eye off him.

“That was lucky timing.” He scoffs. “It won’t happen again.”

“Oh, really?” You smirk, noticing a figure creeping along the wall behind him. Backup has arrived. “Then what do you call this?”

Dink doesn’t have time to react as Four slams his sword down, slicing clean through the shadow. As he does, there is a loud BOOM from above, and the ceiling disappears. Sunlight bathes the room as Legend peers through the new opening, another bomb in his hand. Sky drops into the room, the Master Sword in hand and pointed directly at the puddle of darkness that used to be Dink. It seeps between the stones of the floor, vanishing.

“Y/N!” Twilight runs into the room with Time and Warriors close behind. “Are you okay?”

“Took you guys long enough. I almost had to tell him about the creepypasta fangirls that write smut about him.” You smile. You can see your words do psychic damage to your allies.