#oh my god child death hits me so hard sometimes when it’s not my own writing

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

OH YEAH just remembered My Girl

[deludedfantasy]

Trimax Volume 14 Ch 1-5

I briefly pop in from my vacation to bring you some thoughts on volume 14 because apparently nothing can stop the Trigun brainrot. Parts of this were written while incredibly jet lagged or on a train, so hopefully this makes sense.

Ch 1

Awww, sometimes Vash is a little too honest. And he forgets that he doesn’t look as old as he is. Also, what a throwback: full blond Vash with his original coat. The nostalgia is hitting hard.

The contradictions of Vash’s life and philosophy are spelled out so succinctly. He picked up a weapon of violence in the name of peace and he’s lived by that complicated word for so many years. And he did what it took to keep his own word. He covered himself in scars for it, doing things no rational person would do all in order to avoid harm.

The repetition of “That is how I lived my life” paired against the training montage and Vash shooting the coin case is so evocative. As is the past tense. He’s officially throwing that aside and making a choice. A choice to kill.

You know what I noticed? We haven’t seen Vash’s eyes once this chapter in the present, just the reflection of his glasses. He’s made his choice but he’s hiding behind a facade because the choice is killing him on the inside.

Vash is no longer playing Legato’s game but by destroying the coin case, he’s also given Legato a lot of power over him. I wonder if that was also on purpose?

Also, why is Legato suddenly saying he held Vash under control for 8 months? It definitely said 7 earlier in the manga.

Oh my god??? Vash slipped out of Legato’s control!!!! Truly, he’s so powerful when he’s not stuck in a hole for months on end. Also, spending that much time under Legato’s control let him learn it intimately and probably let him discover the weak spots so he could slip out of it he needed to later.

So Legato sees it too. That Vash has decided to set aside his ideals. And of course, Legato still wins because that’s what he wanted—to break Vash if he couldn’t kill him.

VASH WHAT THE HELL.

He’s destroying his left arm to get closer to Legato???? That is…at once a very Vash thing to do and not.

Knives’s approving smile from Legato’s memories is everything he wanted and it’s what Legato sees at the moment of his death. But part of me wonders how much of this is memory and how much is wishful thinking, Legato projecting his own wants and desires onto this memory.

I’m also obsessed with the brief glance we get of a child Elendira. Who is she? Where did Knives find her? Why did she follow him and why did he let her? She’s the only GHG we don’t get ANY backstory on. Not even a snippet. NIGHTOW I WANNA KNOW.

Argh!!! Vash gets so close but he hesitates! A hundred and fifty years of conditioning stay his hand at the last second. Even though he’s said he’s made his choice. But he was hiding from it too. His glasses have closed him off. He hasn’t faced the choice.

Well, he’s pissed Legato off and now he’s going to make him face it.

This is an eerie mirror of the “shoot” scene with Wolfwood. The way Legato holds the gun to his forehead, telling Vash to shoot. That scene almost works like foreshadowing. Wolfwood even said that his death would make it worthwhile if he knew Vash could make a decision like that. And well…the need for that has come to fruition.

I hate to say it, but Legato is right. Holding the gun to his head and not shooting is kinda cruel. That’s just letting someone feel all the fear, let it ramp up, instead of finishing it quickly.

And in the end, all Vash accomplished by hesitating is putting someone else’s life in danger.

With Livio’s life on the line, suddenly we see Vash’s eyes again. They’re a little wild and on edge. He can’t let his new friend die, the person Wolfwood sacrificed himself to save.

Legato knows exactly what he’s doing to torment Vash. He knows all of Vash’s weak points and he’s not afraid to use them.

I hate giving Legato any credit whatsoever but…he’s kinda right again. Look, Vash’s ideals are wonderful. He seeks to make the world a better place by not killing people. But the root of those ideals comes from something so twisted and idealized, it’s done nothing but cause him and the people around him harm and strife. His scars, his inability to connect with humanity despite his mission to protect them, it comes down to his downright saintly principles which force him to live a life that is removed from reality.

Sometimes, you have to make a choice, to kill, to do the hard thing. Because standing down isn’t an option. Standing down is the worse result. Vash’s ideals are beautiful but in the end, by keeping them, he is a dreaming saint. And saints don’t get to live. Saints are saints because they are martyred and completely inhuman. And does he really want to be inhuman?

BUT THEN. Who does Vash think of before he shoots, before he makes his final decision? Wolfwood! Perhaps the most human man of all. He certainly wasn’t a saint, but he wasn’t a sinner either, and he came to mean so much to Vash. His death hurt so much Vash couldn’t speak his name or think of his face. But now, for the first time in four volumes, we see him fully. Wolfwood, who killed to protect and died in order to save someone he loved, who also in the end, finally got to make his choice.

And now, so does Vash. And he does it for Wolfwood.

Ch 2

Does Livio even understand what’s happening? Because Elendira suddenly rose from the dead and went for his throat, and then she collapsed just as quickly. Does he know that it’s Legato? Does Livio know Vash killed Legato for him? This question haunts me daily.

You know what else haunts me? Vash’s face right afterwards. It’s so difficult to look at. For the first time in almost 2 chapters, we see his eyes and they are big and glassy. He has this terrible pained…smile, grimace? I’m not sure how to describe it.

Nor will it ever stop haunting me that Vash didn’t kill to protect himself or to get closer to Knives. He did it for Wolfwood, to honor his sacrifice, to save Livio. He took on Wolfwood’s ideals just like Wolfwood took on his. They changed each other…

I’m experiencing so many emotions, I don’t even know what to say. Vash is realizing how difficult killing really is and he wonders if it hurt Wolfwood this much too. Is he regretting calling him a coward? Vash didn’t understand Wolfwood or his motivations back then, but now he does, and he realizes what he said was so wrong. And knowing Vash, he probably wonders if calling him a hopeless coward was what set Wolfwood down the path to his death.

Also, did Livio find Vash somehow? I didn’t think they were close together at all.

I like that nothing is simple in Trigun. Technically, the Earth Fleet came to help, but they’re willing to do anything to stop Knives, including bombing and irradiating the planet and killing thousands of people in the process.

So Livio does know what Vash did for him? That’s gonna give him a lot of feelings and complexes to work through later…

The juxtaposition in this story always gets me. As Vash struggles with killing one person, the Earth Fleet easily decides to sacrifice millions in the name of peace. How can they, who are not part of this world, understand anything about it? How can they make that kind of decision not knowing anything about the people struggling and living on the planet’s surface? Killing is not the easy way out and it never was, as Vash has just intimately discovered.

Continuation of everyone telling Vash to stop carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and actually ask for help! Will he do it? No, but saying it to his face is a good first step in getting him to understand.

Ch 3

Oh, this is one of my favorite parts of the manga. I remember this vividly from my first read. The first time the dependent Plants truly communicate with humanity.

The moment with the little girl just…oh my heart. For a moment, she saw the Plant’s memories but she also projected her own feelings. And that could have gone a lot of ways. People could’ve gotten scared or violent or taken advantage of a scared kid, but everyone’s immediate reaction is kindness. They help her find her mother. It just proves that humanity has a great capacity for goodness, especially when they can understand each other. Because every one of those adults has been a scared kid before and feeling those feelings again reminded them of that.

What they show is the history of humanity and Plants on No Man’s Land, the highs and lows, the good and the bad. The gratefulness of those first desperate people when they managed to get water from a Plant and the chaos and desperation that followed. How slowly towns and cities grew up around Plants.

Knives is experiencing all these memories in full. He might have to contend with the fact that the relationship between Plants and humanity isn’t so black and white. There is hurt and abuse for sure, but there is always kindness and gratefulness. One doesn’t negate the other, but it turns his strict worldview on its head. It should anyway.

People have warred and killed over Plants, but they’ve also venerated them, and taken care of them. They fixed them and cleaned their bulbs, had meaningful meetings there. And the Plants were always watching, remembering all their faces, and interestingly, there’s no malice or hatred for humanity in these memories. Despite how they sometimes waste the Plants’ gifts and abuse them, the Plants seem to care about humans in their own way.

Ch 4

It’s terrible that the Earth Fleet cares more about stopping Knives than saving the people of the planet. They’re really scared of Independents, and sure, Knives is more powerful than they’ve ever seen, but they took the nuclear option very quickly. It makes you question what Earth’s relationship with Independents is really like.

Vash’s hair it completely black now. He’s used up most of his power. He’s done and at his lowest point here. And now he’s haunted by everyone he’s lost, everyone he couldn’t save, whether they were friends or enemies.

It says something that he’s faced first with Legato, his first kill, but right behind him it’s Wolfwood, and he’s smiling. I can’t figure out what it means, but there’s something to it, like Wolfwood is the one who makes what he did okay.

But still, he feels like he’s alone with all of this, that this is his endless burden. And makes me so sad because he’s not! He’s been told that over and over, but it’s like he’s not hearing it.

What kind of victory is it to destroy an entire planet to defeat Knives? It’s certainly a sin like the Fleet commander says. Asking God for His blessing is certainly a decision in this case, one almost bordering on blasphemy, asking God for His blessing to commit a sin.

Of course, Knives is so powerful he keeps that from happening. But he’s become so inhuman to get that powerful. It’s been happening for ages, but I feel like he’s reached his peak now. Just look at him.

Vance loses hope when he sees the Fleet go down, but when Meryl and Milly see they’re still alive, they get right back to work. I love them so much. Life on No Man’s Land is hard but it’s also what makes them so resilient. They make their own hope and they’re used to working for the hard times. As long as they’re still alive, they’re not done.

Say it, Meryl! Despite Vash’s efforts, he can’t do it alone. The only way to succeed is by working together. Not just humans working together, but humans and Plants together as well.

Whoa, what did Vash do? Also where is he? Meryl and Milly found him but where did they put him? Did they just dump him somewhere while they kept working on making contact with the dependent Plants?

Ch 5

“What’s there left to see?” → Coming from Vash, that thought is so hopeless. It means he’s given up on Rem’s promise of a blank ticket, the very core of his ideals. It’s fitting then, that this chapter is called, Ticket to the Future.

Ok, I see, they put him on the floor in the room they’re working in. I’m happy he at least heard Meryl’s conviction to stand with him even if he probably doesn’t believe it wholeheartedly.

He wants to keep going even though he feels like he can’t. Some small part of him doesn’t want to die.

Vash hears the Plants! That’s why he shoots up like that. And they can hear him too.

I wonder what Knives plan is for after he’s done destroying humanity. Is it to find another planet for Plants to live on their own, away from the influence of humanity?

That’s an insane plan, but that’s Vash for you. His face in this section makes me think he isn’t planning on surviving this either. He’s broken his ideals, he’s lost the future he saw for a moment, he doesn’t think there’s anything left for him to see. But to his dying breath, he’ll fight to make sure humanity at least has a future.

Something about the way Knives screams, “Don’t touch me!” really gets to me. Vash is connecting to the dependent Plants, not him, but since Knives is fused with them, he thinks of them as himself. The thing is…I still don’t think they’re him. He’s taken away their autonomy and made them himself, but they are their own separate beings and in the pursuit of his mission, he’s forgotten that.

Oh, wait, Knives is actually trying to do that now to keep Vash from winning. He’s planning on fully incorporating the Dependents so they have no will of their own at all anymore. Which goes counter to his whole point of giving Plants freedom but when has Knives been anything but the world’s biggest hypocrite in the name of assuaging his own fears?

Vash’s beliefs have kept him going for 150 years. It’s what kept him alive and allowed him to do good. It’s sad that he never lived his life truly for himself, but there’s also something beautiful in him believing so strongly in the Plants and their own will, their power to make their own decision, whatever it might be. It’s a stark contrast to Knives, who isn’t even pretending to give them any choice anymore.

In their own way, Vash and Knives are trying to be saviors and saints. Vash for humanity and Plants and Knives just for Plants. While I think Vash goes about it in such a way that hurts him more than helps him, you can’t say that his efforts have been for nothing, that he hasn’t accomplished any good. He’s definitely saved people and Plants, unlike Knives who claims to do those things, but is really fulfilling his own selfish goals and acting out of fear rather than benevolence or actual belief.

But suddenly, somewhere, Vash has found some hope again. He wants to take that blank ticket for himself. He wants to make a better future and see what that world looks like. The only thing is I can’t figure out what caused this change of heart after he’s spent nearly four volumes now being passively suicidal. My best guess is that connecting with the Plants like that gave him some perspective and reminded him of everything he’d dedicated his life to, everything he’d been fighting for.

[darckcarnival]

Get To Know The Mun!

> BASICS! ♡

NAME: Spoop, Splat, D, Darck (peeps usually call my my main muses names except Spoop, I am the spoopiest.)

PRONOUNS: Any! I merely exist.

ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius/Capricorn

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single but married to food.

> THREE FACTS! ♡

Have been writing since the 90's when I was a wee child. Did silly little roleplaying on mIRC, on some forums, and deviant art back in the day there after. Then became a fanfic writer for a while, followed by poems which I was quite good at back in the day. Then began making lyrics- figured nah, not for me. And flipped full circle back into roleplaying once more with some drabbles and maybe a one shot fic here and there. Have been writing ever since! So I have a LOT of history under my belt. And many of my muses have the same type of dedication and time behind them. Gotta put as much love into your character and writing, as if they were your own family. Make them feel alive.

Most art I do is either writing, 3D model modification items, or just with a mouse and keyboard art. I have been practicing more with a gifted tablet and pen, which has allowed me to do more detailed and serious mod work, such as mods for RE4 classic! But I am much better at texture, 3D, or coloring and shading. But heres the fun fact: i learned all my 3D and texture work skills through Second Life before anything else. And it's actually, funny enough, helped me bring muses to life as well as follow up on how to mod other games and go hog wild.

Been struck by lightning twice, fell down two different cliffs, hit by a semi truck, shot with a carbon arrow in the chest, stabbed, shot by bullet, and so on- and yet here I stand. Most of these events were completely accidental as well, and I walked away from. Honestly? I'm just a walking glitch in the matrix of the world, considering I also glitch every single god damn game I touch. THIS IS NOT A JOKE, NO MATTER HOW NEW IT IS, I BREAK IT.

> EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: AIM, Yahoo Messenger, DA chat, so many FORUM's back in the day. Skype, Discord, Tumblr.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: Geez, I can roll with just about anything. Plotting? Hell yeah count me in! Plots may not always follow the idea one hundred percent, but it absolutely makes for longer events and threads easily. Winging it? I do that all the damn time and can create so many unexpected events, as well as sudden character development. Twists and turns that just wing a rough idea into something wild. As for Memes and asks? Oh those can still form some really good interactions, character developments or knowledge acquiring moments. Sometimes these are one offs or long drabbles- but they can form into something longer and more serious. However, while I am down for all of the above-- I also have bad ADHD and writing can be hard, so it could take a while.

> MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: I can write just about any gender character, manage things in between or none. However I am more comfortable with female centric style muses. And yet, you put large men in my hands, and watch them go hog fucking wild. And don't even get be started on Robots or Monsters.

MULTI OR SINGLE: I have done both, but usually prefer single muse blogs. And yet I absolutely love my megaman multimuse to death! All my robot children and heathens there, so much work in my own verse there. So many thoughts. But multimuse blogs can still be difficult to keep organized with so much going on in the braincell, and with life being as it is, need to take breaks from it.

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): Not sure what this means for least favorite here, does it mean people, or genre? I really don't mind one way or another. Especially when it comes to OC's, it's hard to find anyone who fits just right for people. And honestly I do not mind one way or another for people. If it fits someones muse, that's fine by me.

> FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: THE GOOD SHIT HELL YEAH. I'm down for fluff so long as it isn't like... Hollow and forced. Fluff can be used as a great comfort option,. be it platonic, familial, friendly, or even romantic. Fluff can be used in so very many ways, and it's always an option withy me. But this can also turn into angst easily with my cursed hands, you have been warned. As well as comedic timing, since Darck needs to make a laugh to make herself comfortable. Darck has... problems.

ANGST: My bread and butter this one, much to the dismay of many of my friends who write with me. The muse on this blog is made of angst and pain and terrible events that have formed her into who she is. Angst can become violence, woe, heavy conversation, as well as venting- it's such a key part of development. There is a saying I quite enjoy: Muses are like geodes. Shiny, pretty, and in order to see what they are really made of, you must break them. I do admit however that I have a limit of how far I can go to a degree, with real life being a thing, but honestly? It takes a whole fucking lot to get there. And also maybe write angst too much and tragedy. Give this muse some better days.

SMUT: As much as I have enjoyed smut in the past, I haven't written such in a very long time, and am very careful of whom I write such with. Turns out I really good at smut according to others. And hey fun fact: People used to straight up pay me to write them smut of their characters and others of their choice. Haven't had that going in years but, it was a thing. However these days, writing smut with my muses needs to be more than just the event. It can be an opening for vulnerability, letting someone get close enough and trust them enough, that no one else really gets. Quiet and heavy conversations, the emotions involved. But if I ever do write it again, both my self and my partner need to be comfortable with writing such a thing. However if I ever did smut in a private drabble or fanfic, then all bets are off, because that's different. But far more rare.

Tagged by: @valour-bound

Tagging: You see this? IM TAGGING YOU. Do it.

[herdeardiaryy]

devotion 01

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee."

-Psalms 56:3

There are times in life that we struggled, challenged, and even afraid in so many ways. I remember last year, when I'm so afraid of being single for a long time, I have phrases in my mind which are: "Am I being single for the long time or forever?", "When will this right one come on me?", or "Am I still able to feel what happiness is in love?"; those are the thoughts that I'm being afraid of before.

I even came to the point that if there is someone who find me cute or something flattering, I will go for it. I will entertain it, without having a thought if this guy who made me comfortable being with him is having a current relationship or not. Believe me, I've experienced these things. Yes, I am being so desperate in love.

But then, God talked to me that one night. He said, "My child, believe in Me. I will give what you deserve in time." and that hits me really hard.

That made me look so little when I think about of what I did to somebody for the sake of my own happiness. I became selfish, hard on myself, and even pretend just to have that kind of things in life.

Sometimes, all we need in life is to feel what we really like, with the thought of not only for ourselves, but to everyone. We need to consider someone else's feeling before us, because the real love is not selfish, it should be equal to everyone.

That's why I have this decision to wait on God's timing, it is really perfect and I've had it in other ways. Me being afraid of being alone in this world is already erased, but I surrender all to Him, for me to be able to receive what I deserve.

In trials in life, not only in lovelife, let us not be afraid of everything. God is in control.

I remember last March 2023, when my Dad got hospitalized (being in an ICU for weeks), all of us in the family got so afraid. So afraid of losing my Dad, because the doctor already told my Mom to be ready anytime. My Dad had a heart attacked and he was in a 50/50 (life and death) situation.

What we did was prayers and singing heavenly songs, for us to be heard by God and gave my Dad a very long time of living. And God never fails, he protected my Dad from death, and after the hard times, God healed him.

That's when I realized that we really need to trust in Him, in every situation, in good or in bad, let us focus our minds and hearts to God for He is very faithful and just, and His promises are very true. He is our God yesterday, today, and forever.

This is my prayer:

"God, I know I have sinned in so many ways, but Your promises will stay. Thank you for another life for me and my family, thank you for an overflowing blessings that you made us count day by day. Thank you Lord for giving us mind to realized our mistakes and learned from it. Help us oh God not to be afraid in life and think the things that you have and you will do to our lives. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Father. And Thank you Holy Spirit.

This I pray, in the Mighty Name of Jesus,

Amen."

God loves you, whoever you are. Have a blessed day ahead ♡

love,

herdeardiaryy

030723 | 09:25AM (Saudi Time)

[prose-for-hire]

Kiss me quick

Pairing: Spike x Summers!reader

Request: Hi! Can I request a Spike x Summers!reader, where the reader is trying to keep their relationship on the downlow since none of the Scoobies really approve, but after a big win the reader finally kisses him in front of everyone, proving that they do care deeply for one another and everyone just has to accept it.

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Reader gets injured but nothing serious. sex references/implication of sex.

You looked out into dimly lit street, the dark had surrounded you now but ever since you had been meeting this way you couldn’t help but smile whenever the sun began to descend from the sky. You were stood, under a streetlamp, three streets away from your house. Just far enough where nobody from your household would catch you meeting him this way. You had been meeting like this for a while now.

He got a kick out of coming up behind you and immediately pressing you against the nearest wall and crashing his lips to yours. His favourite greeting entailed leaving you breathless and ready to pull him closer no matter what your surroundings were. He often mumbled his hellos through stolen kisses. His passion never died, he was all in. Completely yours.

You couldn’t shake this feeling. That you were completely in love. You had silently tried to fight it to begin with, knowing that those around you wouldn’t approve. That Spike himself may not even reciprocate your feelings. But soon it became clear that there was no hiding these feelings that always bubbled to the surface whenever he was near.

You had started fooling around to begin with, before it all changed. For the better, both of you agreed. Your feelings had taken hold of you both, fuelled by the touch of skin. The depth of mind. Unspoken emotions kept the two of you in a chokehold before you finally spilled your feelings for the other.

Ever since you quit college, you had spent all of your free time sneaking around with Spike. It was, honestly, as thrilling as it was annoying. As much as you wished you could just tell everyone how much you loved Spike - how amazing he was with you, you couldn’t. You had to hide it, the implications of your friends and sisters finding out would be a fate worse than death. In fact, for spike it may mean actual death this time.

Unfortunately, you were the middle child. You were a year younger than Buffy and she never let you forget about it. Meaning, Buffy thought she was the boss of you. Not to mention Dawn basically clung onto your leg to stop you from leaving the house (and thus, preventing you leaving her behind where she couldn’t follow you around). This meant that, often, you didn’t get much spare time for sneaking around with Spike. But, God, did you make it your biggest priority. After… saving the world… obviously.

When you did manage to share these intimate moments, it was everything. It felt as if you were the only people in the world. The only people that had ever felt anything close to this. Nobody had loved this deep. Cared this much. You were both so sure. These feelings, they were eternal. He vowed it to you, one early morning you had spent with your naked bodies pressed together, baring your souls well into the night.

Any emotional scars you harboured seemed to heal just by speaking to him. By having that soothing voice share his own darkest moments with you in return. How that voice, those eyes could have seen and done so much and still make you feel undeniably safe you weren’t sure. But, you trusted him. Even if danger appeared to surround him at every turn. You wouldn’t change him for anything. You loved the good, the bad and the oh-so-attractive parts of him.

Vulnerabilities turned to strengths when you were together. Rough edges appeared smoother. Promises held meaning. You adored him and he confessed to you that he had never been so comfortable in a relationship. He could be himself, could express his feelings without being concerned you would turn away from him.

The first night you invited him into your home made him elated. You had to make him swear not to tell Buffy because you knew she wouldn’t take it well. Like, at all. As much as he would have loved to rub it in the slayer’s face that he had been given access to her house – he loved you too much to even think to upset you in this way. So, you carried on this way, unable to keep your hands and lips from each other for more than an evening at a time. This meant mostly, he stayed at the Summer’s residence or you left to the crypt. Sometimes, you even went for real dates – so long as you were sure that everyone else you knew would be busy elsewhere.

Tonight, you were going to the Bronze together. It was a little more of a risk than usual, but he had insisted on taking you somewhere he knew you would enjoy. Muttered something about not keeping you in the shadows before taking your hand and leading the way. The truth was, Spike was in fact just very smitten with you. And he pretty much wanted everyone to see that you were with him. This was ‘everyone’ except the scoobies and any family members you happened to have crawling out of the woodwork. It was safe though, everyone else was going to some college party and Buffy had told you that it was uncool to have her younger sibling come along.

Buffy was the only one that viewed you as the ‘younger sibling’ the others were friends with you because they were fond of you. Because, well, sometimes you appeared more mature than Buffy did – not that they would ever say that to her face. Although there was always that slight worry that if they hadn’t been friends with Buffy they wouldn’t have been as close with you. You were barely a year younger than Buffy but she was still incredibly protective of you as she was the oldest.

What you hadn’t banked on, whilst you rubbed Spike’s thigh under the table, was that Xander hadn’t been invited to the party. He saw you immediately and made his way over to you with Anya close behind. You almost choked on your drink as you saw them come up behind Spike. You snapped your hand away in shock much to Spike’s displeasure.

“Hey, Y/n-” he started and then stopped when he saw Spike’s presence, “He bothering you?”

“No, he’s just-”

“Warming you up, right pet?” His eyes glistened as he spoke, an eyebrow raising which made Xander scowl. You tried your best to hide the smile at your boyfriend’s words as Xander looked between you both. Xander liked to think of himself as your older brother and had decided you needed defending. You opened your mouth to say otherwise but ended up being cut off by a very urgent ex-vengeance demon.

“It doesn’t matter that they’re dating right now, we are all going to get ripped into pieces if the demon finds us!” Anya shouted. You hadn’t been as secretive as you thought then.

“An!” Xander hissed, sharing a look. At the exact same time you and Spike shared a look too. You wondered who else had seen straight through your sneaking around and longing glances you shared through scooby meetings.

You were sharing looks for different reasons though. They had obviously discussed what not to say beforehand and Anya had characteristically ignored his warning. There was some kind of demon threatening the town. Again.

“What’s going on, Xander? Anya?” you tried for your ex-vengeance demon friend when Xander didn’t speak. There was definitely something odd going on. At her name being called, despite Xander’s warning, she launched into an explanation.

“Xander got annoyed at our sex-spell and ripped a page out of my very rare copy of ‘magic, sex and me’ which ruined our entire evening!” She scowled and crossed her arms before continuing, “Now we have to kill it instead of having our sexy time” she pouted.

“We’ll pretend we didn’t hear about a sex spell-”

“Well, I want to hear about it. Can’t get it up, mate?” Spike taunted which only made Xander redden further after Anya’s admittance. Xander stepped as if to hit your vampire but you stepped in the way and wheeled Xander away, changing the subject.

You asked instead about what this demon was like. Anya explained that it was a Scorn-demon. Ridiculously hard to kill and bound to the pages of a book as no mortal prison can hold it. It looked as if you were in for a long night. Which is exactly what you and Spike had planned although for a very different reason.

“If all of us are looking, we’ll find it quicker” You offered, Xander had been embarrassed to explain because of the reason they were doing a spell. But now Anya had told anyone anyway, he was grateful of the help. You got to your feet, ready to follow them out as Spike got up beside you.

“Looks like no bugger’s getting any tonight” Spike muttered, rolling his eyes as you apparently volunteered you both to assist your friend.

“Just working ourselves up… right?” You offered which made him smirk. God, he had been rubbing off on you. You almost felt yourself mirroring his smirk at your words. He wanted to pull you in and kiss you until you admitted just his presence could get you worked up enough alone, but he knew the importance of hiding this from your friends. Which, really was the only reason he didn’t take you right there in the middle of the Bronze.

Instead, you just trailed behind Xander and Anya’s bickering and tried to locate this demon. You called Buffy’s cell and left a message. You knew this was probably going to end with a battle you were unequipped for. You just hoped that you ran into your sister before you ran into the demon. By all accounts he sounded nasty.

As you walked, you and Spike kept sneaking glances at the other when you hoped the others weren’t looking. It was hard, having to maintain this distance when all you wanted to do was reach for him. Show him your affection freely. When you caught the other’s eye, you couldn’t help but smile. You felt so lucky, to have someone that cared so deeply. Someone who wasn’t afraid to share their love so freely.

You wanted to slide your hand in his, tell him just how lucky you felt. Just how much you felt for him, although you were sure he must be sick of how often you told him you loved him. He never was, of course. It was the sweetest music hearing that phrase from your lips. He kissed them a thousand times just to catch the remaining sweetness from your tongue. With those words, nothing should be wasted. He wanted to savour every syllable of your love.

You kept walking until you had to come to an abrupt halt. Dawn turned a corner and crashed straight into you. Turns out, your hopes came true: you did come across your sister first. It just happened to not be the one you expected.

“Oh, I didn’t know you guys were ready for, like, double dating yet” Dawn teased. She, too, had decided that you and Spike had to be dating. She often brought it up to annoy you but she believed it all the same. Spike never corrected her and you had stopped bothering too. You would only come off as defensive and she would tease you for that. You honestly couldn’t win living under the same roof as Dawn, she could be relentless.

Spike leaned in to whisper something in your ear, his lips so close to your ear you could imagine the way they would feel if he leaned in further and pressed against your skin. You smiled at his comment, he always made you laugh. He liked to hear your laugh and it passed the time while he waited for the fight that was coming.

When you looked back up, Willow and Tara had caught up with your group. They gave you a knowing look at how close you were stood to Spike. You wanted to lean on him, inhale deeply and press kisses against the curve of his neck. You loved the way he gripped you closer when you did that. But you had to snap yourself out of this thought at the arrival of your sister. Buffy immediately started giving orders, not before she gave you a warning look for letting Dawn come with you after she scowled at Spike for his mere presence.

“I brought the research – I think there’s a spell, but we’ll have to weaken him first” Willow muttered, frowning at Anya and blaming her for this spell and putting her best friend in danger. 

“The spell needs lovers to complete it. Do you think you could help us Anya? Xander?” Tara asked softly, “But I’m not sure if that’s enough to hold him”

Because the demon was attracted to love and sex, couples were needed to cut off his power at the source. It fed from lovers and by concentrating that power it could reverse and thus weaken the demon within a certain spot.

“Well, if we need couples we have at least three pairs here. Maybe that would be enough?” Willow asked. Making everyone look around to count the pairs. Everyone’s eyes then landed on you and Spike. The last to look was Buffy who raised an eyebrow between you both.

“Does everyone know we’re dating?!”

“Pretty much, sweetie” tara nodded.

“We just didn’t wanna embarrass you. It’s… Spike” Buffy cringed at even the thought of it, “I, uh, thought you would have kinda got it out of your system by now though” Buffy hitched her nose up at the idea of the two of you, but shrugged. She saw it as a meaningless relationship. The kind she had with Parker in her first year of college but more often.

From what you gathered as they didn’t correct her, nobody really thought Spike capable of any kind of meaningful relationship. And with him not being able to actively harm you, they just decided to avoid the topic entirely until one or both of you got bored of the sex. The only one that hadn’t thought anything of your sudden proximity with Spike every time he turned around, was Xander. He really would have said something if he had known. But he still wasn’t convinced now – no matter how often Anya insisted.

You slid your hand into his, now that everybody appeared to know that you were together at least. He smiled at this, looking down at your hands back to your face. This smile, it was softer than he would usually show in front of the Scoobies, it was one only for you. Where he felt such genuine happiness. Such adoration.

As usual, nobody really wanted to discuss your love life (rather just ignore and hope it went away) and so began to look away from you and discuss the demon again. You began following the trail of destruction. He wasn’t so hard to locate really and Buffy immediately attacked him as Willow and Anya set up in a large triangle around the fight. Each couple was at each point of the triangle as the recital occurred. A flash of light surrounded the demon and Buffy before it faded, showing the demon now fighting sluggishly.

You tried to protect Dawn the best you could while Spike and Buffy took it in turns to throw punches at the now marginally weakened demon. You and the others helped when you could but he was so strong even now the spell had worked, that humans barely affected him.

Somehow the demon broke from Spike’s hold and started for Dawn - who he had sensed as the weaker member of your group. You charged in front of your younger sister to try and distract him. This lead to him twisting you and throwing you into the air and crashing into a nearby storefront. You were flung straight against the wall and hit your head quite badly. He watched you falling like a ragdoll, appearing limp due to the blow.

His gut dropped. He left Buffy to the fight. All that mattered now was that you were okay. He had never been so scared. Spike rushed over to you, dropping to the floor so that he could cradle your head in his lap. There were a few seconds where he didn’t know what to do.

But then just as he thought he may have lost you, hope was restored again. You open your eyes, your smile a little dazed as you looked at him from your position in his lap. He looked up to the sky in relief, as if silently thanking the powers. His eyes danced with emotion as he looked back into yours. He wouldn’t know what he would do without you. Couldn’t even imagine it less his heart would begin to ache with phantom loss.

He was so overcome by the thought of losing you that he immediately caught your lips with his. Pouring every single feeling he had ever experienced for you into that one kiss. His hand cupping your cheek, the other on the small of your back – pressing you closer to him. As if this kiss may well be your very last. You reciprocated without hesitation, your lips felt as if they had been moulded just for this very moment. This kiss, it said everything. Promised everything and you smiled into it. Your lips moving against his urgently, insisting he feel your love for him. Even in your weakened state, all of your energy went into kissing him.

In the same moment, Buffy managed to finally slay the beast and Tara and Willow muttered some words that sent him into the book he would now again call home. Buffy whipped around to catch you both kissing so desperately. The rest of the group stopped still and staring too. Every mouth agape in shock. At just how much you appear to feel for the other. This wasn’t just a quick shag when the feeling struck. One wasn’t taking advantage of the other. This was love. The truest kind. And nobody could deny it now, not even Xander.

After you parted, reluctantly on both parts, he took on your weight as you all walked back, everyone except him in silence. He doted on you, pressing a kiss against your temple every few paces – just because he could now in this company. He wanted to offer you all of the comfort he could. He was whispering to you trying to make sure you didn’t fall asleep. He was sure you had a concussion (I mean, you kissed him that way in front of all of your friends without any worries after all).

Buffy didn’t even object when it appeared that Spike was walking their way home. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Everyone could see just how deeply you cared for each other. It was undeniable, even to your older sister.

Spike was just pleased you would make it and be okay. And… he began to get smug that he was finally able to show the slayer that he could access her house this entire time.

[shorkbrian]

Shouto, but as a pleasure dom

(Warnings - overstim (like a LOT), dubcon/noncon (implied, but it’s there), penetration (oh shidd get it shouto), oral (heck he rlly be getting up in there) (and frick idk what else lmk if I missed sumn)

You barely even knew where you were.

A bed was beneath you, that was a fact you were confident in.

There was a fireplace in the room, wood crackling gently, firelight dancing shadows onto the ceiling, the ceiling your unfocused eyes were looking towards.

You were shivering, but not from cold. The room was warm, almost too warm, sweat on your temples, heat trapped in your stomach.

A hand was splayed on your stomach, slender, large. It was warm too, almost burning, matching the sizzling sensation beneath your skin.

It was holding you down, keeping you flush to the bed.

Shouto was kneeled between your legs, your lower half pulled to the edge of the bed. He had your legs over his shoulders, his warm palm smoothed over your stomach to keep you in place. His other hand was entwined with one of yours, grip icy, burning your fingers with cold.

His mouth was working at your cunt, relentless and excruciatingly pleasant, tongue quickly lapping at your folds, then swirling around your clit before dipping lower to plunge inside your entrance.

“Sho-tou, Sh-ah! Ah! Ohmygod wait, shout-O!”

No matter how you moved, his mouth followed you, sucking, pulling your pleasure from you. The man had already made you cum countless times, you couldn’t even remember at this point, body flushed and buzzing with overstimulation.

Still, the pleasure built up again, settling low in your stomach, your clit throbbing, tingling with each rapid flick of his tongue.

The sounds that were being made were absolutely filthy; wet smacks, sucking noises, slurping, lewd squelches and suckling as he worshiped your cunt with his tongue. It felt so good it hurt, making you cry, hips working desperately to pull away, even though there was no escape.

“Please, oh... It feels-feels-! It’s too much Shouto oh my gOD-!”

Another orgasm tore through your body, limbs convulsing, hand squeezing Shouto’s icy palm in a death grip as you wailed.

The man didn’t stop slurping at your cunt.

He was as he always is - steady, measured, relentless in pursuit of his goals.

And his goal right now was to make you cry and scream his name.

Another pass of his tongue, this time with it flattened out completely to drag slowly over your folds. The tip of his tongue hit your clit as he pulled back, and your legs jerked, a desperate whine bubbling out of your throat.

He dove back in after a quick breath, kissing around your lower lips, tongue flicking out to tease your sensitive, dripping hole. When he thrust it inside, you squeaked at the sensation, hips twitching. You could feel Shouto’s smile, feel the flash of his teeth pressed against your skin, the stretch of his cheeks.

Honestly, his determination was a bit frightening. You were sure your thighs were wrapped around his head tight enough to make it hard to move, yet the man worked with ease, drawing back to spit on your cunt, leaning close again to attack his mouth around your clit and suck.

Another orgasm had you thrashing in his hold, crying out, begging for Shouto to wait, stop, too much.

Pleasurable, painful minutes passed as he worked you up to cum again, pussy throbbing and soaked with slick and his saliva.

After making you cum again, Shouto finally relented, pulling away with a wet snack of his lips.

“You’re delectable. Wish you’d let me taste you more.” You both knew that he would take you whenever he saw fit, whether or not you were in the mood.

Most of the time, he was decent, listening when you said no, or told him not to touch.

Other days, he was akin to a bratty child, brow furrowing when you tried to refuse him, eyes hardening. He’d stride towards you with his long legs, and there was no escape. Those days, “no” wasn’t an appropriate answer.

Today was one of those days.

“Why do you taste so good.” He half-moaned, quickly diving back between your legs to give one last, messy lick.

“ShoUTO PLEASE!” You yelled, clit buzzing, skin burning with every sensation. Even his hand on your belly was too much.

“I’m sorry dear, I just can’t help myself sometimes.” He breathed, once again composed and poised as he kneeled between your legs.

Shouto let go of you hand, rising to his feet. The sight of his clothes form reminded you that your body was entirely bare. You probably looked a mess, hair disheveled, dried sweat sticking to your skin under new droplets, limbs trembling, body flushed.

Shouto began unbuttoning his shirt, eyes never once leaving you.

“Absolutely breathtaking.” He murmured, more to himself than you.

You were exhausted, couldn’t even hold yourself up. You let your legs drop, feet resting limply against the floor, body relaxing into the bed. You hoped with every fiber of your being that Shouto was undressing only to help you shower, then you could flop back into bed and sleep forever.

You knew that wasn’t going to happen - it never did.

His shirt came off, then his pants, and finally his boxers. You still shrank under his relentless gaze, and while you knew he was appraising you with love and wonder, your insecurities couldn’t help but rear their heads.

It was hard to listen to insecurities when Shouto was wringing orgasm after orgasm from your spent body. You suppose that’s why he’s like this.

The man had such a beautiful body, sticky legs, thick in build, but slender in their muscles appearance. A defined, softly muscled torso, and strong arms. His pretty face, always seemingly calm and passive, only changing when he was really upset, or lost in the throes of passion and pleasure. Shouto was pretty all over, really, with his smooth skin, manicured nails, the soft, silken strands of his dual-colored hair.

Even his cock was pretty, a soft pink color, thick, but not alarmingly so. Veins ran along the shaft, the glans defined and well-proportionaed compared to the rest of his length.

Shouto was pretty all over, and you felt woefully inadequate. He could have anyone he wanted, anyone, yet he made you hold his heart.

He was climbing onto the bed, gently manhandling until he had you pulled into his lap, your back pressed against his chest. He was propped up by pillows, half-leaning against the headboard so he had unfettered access to every inch of your body.

His cock was resting along your slit, slightly wet at the top, pulsing. It felt uncomfortable - every time it pulsed it would move ever so slightly, and barely feather across your sore clit.

Shouto didn’t let you rest for long, two of his fingers quickly sucked into his mouth before brought down to your pussy, pushing his cock away from your body so his hand could easily cup your sex.

“Just relax now, I’ve got you.”

And his fingers slipped inside, reaching past the places his tongue had explored, proving deeper and deeper. They rubbed tantalizingly at your walls, making you squirm, before slowly beginning to thrust in and out, gently fucking your sloppy cunt.

“Just like that. You’re perfect, so good to me.” Shouto pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

His free hand came around your chest to softly cup one of your breasts, rolling the nipple under his thumb. Your back arched under his ministrations, but he held you firm against his chest. You could feel his rapid heartbeat.

Funny, how he could act so calm, but be falling apart inside.

His fingers grazed against a spot inside of you that had your toes curling, your mouth dropping open.

“No, no Shouto please, it’s too much. I’ve already-you’ve already-please, no more.” You were breathless, twisting in his hold.

Shouto didn’t let up.

“Just a few more.” He murmured in your ear. “I know you can. I’m making you feel so good, you’re lovely.”

You gasped as his fingers inside of you sped up, forcefully hitting that spot over and over again, making you whine.

It felt good, but it was too much, too soon.

The orgasms he had pulled from you with his mouth had been quick, hard, left your lungs heaving and your hips twisting to get away.

This orgasm hit you like a train, appearing out of nowhere, completely overwhelming you.

You were left wheezing, clawing at Shouto’s arms, kicking your legs - but that only made it worse, jostling his fingers inside of you.

Shouto still didn’t stop fingerpicking you, wrist twisting.

You started to cry, slowly at first, then harder when you realized he was still going, forcing you to endlessly orgasm, cunt pulsating as it drooled around his skin fingers.

“Pl-ease! Shouto n-no moreee...” you sobbed, breath hitching.

The man merely kissed your ear, his hand never stopping. You could feel him peering over your shoulder, watching his hand flick as his fingers fucked into you. Watching the violent trembling of your body, the convulsions of your stomach as you were brought over the edge again and again, each orgasm taking longer to reach than the last one.

You couldn’t feel your legs anymore. You barely even knew what was happening anymore.

It was barely registered when his fingers slipped free of your cunt. Your hole was clenching around nothing, insides buzzing, almost number from the overstimulation. You might’ve been hyperventilating, but you were too far out of it to tell, barely aware of your own body, mind listlessly floating between nonsense thoughts.

“Look at you, did so well for me. Your body is incredible.” Hands, one cold, one warm (and wet) trailed along your sides, occasionally pausing to gently squeeze your flesh reassuringly.

You hated how he did this, made you stupid and broken with pleasure, brought you back to conscious thought, then ruined you all over again.

Still faintly sobbing, you weakly batted at his hands, unable to express with words how sensitive you were. Plus, it was gross, his own hand rubbing your own cum all over your skin.

He was kissing your neck, your hair, nibbling sweetly at your ear, whispering praises and compliments.

Shouto had been so rough the first time, desperate, needy. He had left bruises on your hips, hands grabbing too tightly at your flesh, his teeth forming vicious bite marks on your neck and collarbone as he tried to stifle his noises when he fucked into you. At some point he had been babbling, mad with the sensation of pumping your swollen cunt, rambling about how soft, how warm, how pliant your body was.

In a way, his gentleness could hurt more.

Hands gripped his pink cock, easily running it through your slick folds. You let the tip bump against your clit, smiling into your neck when you jumped, revoking back into his naked chest.

Shouto guided his tip to your entrance, holding himself in place as he slowly canted his hips up, sheathing himself into your warmth.

With a low groan, he stilled, fully inside you. You shook in his hold, clutching nervously at the hands no longer holding his cock, but now holding your hips.

He helped you move, easily using his strength to fuck you along his cock, breathing hotly against your neck as he sunk in and out of your tight sleeve. You were confused by the signals your brain was sending. Did it feel good? Did it hurt? We’re you numb? The physical feelings all meshed together, but it was easier to just hang onto Shouto-a hand in his hair, another hand braced against his thigh-than to think.

The man fucked you steadily, hot cock drilling into your dripping pussy without pause, a rhythmic schlick schlick schlick reaching your ears.

You were crying again, shuddering sobs that deprived your lungs of air, that made your head hurt, that blurred your visions Shouto noticed, lifting a hand to wipe away a few tears, but never once stopping his hips.

It wasn’t long before his pace picked up, cock working into you quick and fast. Your brain wasn’t confused anymore - each thrust hurt, but in the best kind of way, rubbing at your insides.

Shouto was moaning now, breathless, talking to you in a gentle tone that contrasted sharply with his half-frantic movements

“So-unh-tight and wet, oh fuck, you feel so heavenly. Sweet little girl, always what I need. Always there for me.”

You turned your head, crying into Shouto’s sweaty neck, unable to focus your eyes. It was so much, too much, and you couldn’t handle it.

“Want to make you feel good, need to-ohhhhh. Your tiny cunt always takes my cock so well, makes me cum so much. You’re just made for me, aren’t you? Sloppy little pussy, made for me to-oh fuck, fuck!” It was rare to hear him swear. The man continued “-Made for me to eat, made for me to touch, made for me to pound into. You’re mine, only mine.”

He was growling now, cock rabbiting into you so fast that you were making little noises on every thrust, little “ah, ah, ah!”’s that made your face flush with shame.

Shouto was suprisingly lewd with his mouth once he was turned on enough, his normally quiet and reserved persona crumbling underneath a horny mess of a man.

“You’re sucking me in, want me to cum?” The questiona as rhetorical-he was going to cum anyways-but still you nodded, face still hidden in his neck.

“Yeah? Yeah? Ohh, you have to cum too-“ you wailed, desperately against the thought of having to go though another orgasm.

“No, you do as I say, sweet little girl.” Shouto admonished, his angle changing slightly as he shifted his hips. “We’re not done until you cum. One more time, just for me.”

You frantically shook your head, gasping for breath, too fucked out to say anything. Shouto was breathing so hard, hissing between his teeth, grunting with the effort of keeping his horribly rapid pace.

A hand slipped down to your cunt, and you screamed when his fingers found your abused clit. “Shouto! No, ah-please! Stop, oh stop-mmmmm!!! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t-“

“You can.”

Shouto hissed, furiously rubbing at your clit with three fingers, punishing the little nub.

You came to in the shower, Shouto’s arms around you as a gentle spray of water washed over you.

The man noticed as you stirred, his arms immediately tightening around you as he pressed a loving kiss to your cheek. “Hello, I missed you.”

Blearily, you watched his hands move as he slowly washed you off, dragging a washcloth gently over your shoulders.

He was perceptive, knew your lower half was too sensitive still to even be touched, much less cleaned.

You stayed in the shower for a long while, Shouto humming some unknown tune as he cleaned the both of you.

You didn’t fight when he carried you back to the (now fresh, had he changed the sheets?) bed.

Nor when he tucked you under the covers, crawling to your side to lie close.

You just watched the flames of the fire, watched them dance over the logs, consuming the wood.

Fire was so destructive. Even when it tried to love, it only burned and destroyed.

[in-tua-deep]

idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

[fruitcoops]

oo could you write a fic ab the first time julian says “I love you” to sirius and sirius just melts and it’s such a seal of approval for remus watching them

A series is only over until it's midnight and I start having feelings about my boy Julian. This prompt isn't the main focus of the story, but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for sending such a sweet prompt in! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove

You can find the rest of "Jules lives with Coops for a week" here

TW for a child getting lost temporarily

Jules wasn’t lost. He was just…a little turned around. Yeah, just turned around. That was all.

He began ripping tiny tears in the left side of his taffy wrapper as he scanned the crowd for any signs of Remus. There was nobody Jules wanted to see more than his big brother at the moment, even though Sirius was surely still with him and much easier to spot. It was a stupid, little-kid thought—he was ten years old, for crying out loud—but his palms were starting to sweat and his face was getting hot and Remus was always safe and Jules was—

He was scared.

“Re?” he tried, barely above a whisper. The wax paper was slick between his fingers. Come on, he can’t hear you if you’re quiet. He cleared his throat. “Re?”

There was no answer. The weight of the quarter in his pocket wasn’t nearly as heavy as the weight of Remus’ absence. Jules hadn’t even been trying to slip away in the first place; the coin was just so shiny, and he had seen a gumball machine by the entrance when they arrived at the mall. The mere thought of bubblegum made him queasy, now.

Part of him wanted to go looking for Remus and Sirius; they were supposed to be at the bookstore by then, if his memory was correct. But the stronger, smarter part of his brain knew that he should stay where he was until they found him. They would notice he was gone. Of course they would notice. He was short, but they were tall, so they would have no trouble seeing him.

They’ll be upset. Realization crashed into him and he started working on the right side of the wrapper. I ruined the afternoon for one lousy quarter. What am I, three?

Jules took a deep breath and stood on his toes; his sneakers squeaked on the tile, and a lady in a big coat glared at him from a nearby table before turning back to her newspaper. He made a face at the back of her head.

A flicker of reddish hair caught in his periphery, but the person strolling past Starbucks looked nothing like Remus. Twice, he thought he saw Sirius—both times, his hopes were dashed within seconds. “Re?” he called again, raising his voice slightly.

“—and I was like, Jules, come on,” someone laughed as a large group passed in front of him.

Jules’ heart skipped a beat and he took off running, shoving through the mass of bodies with half-mumbled apologies until there, there’s his coat and—

“Oh. Hello.”

He blinked up in utter shock. “You’re not Remus.”

“No, sorry.” Behind his thick glasses, the man’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

The woman next to him leaned down to Jules’ level. “Are you lost?”

“No,” he said immediately, unwinding his arms from the man’s waist and taking a step back. He wasn’t stupid. He knew about stranger danger. “I’m where I’m supposed to be.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. The gentleness of her voice reminded him just enough of Sirius to make his throat hurt.

Jules glanced between them. “You said my name. I—I thought—nevermind.”

“Will you wait here with us until you find whoever you’re looking for?” Now that Jules could see him properly, the man only vaguely resembled Remus. His jaw was too pointy, and his hair was far too red, like Finn’s. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be by yourself with so many people around.”

“Sure,” he agreed after a moment. Neither of them were giving him the heebie-jeebies so far.

The woman’s hair was the prettiest shade of pink he had ever seen. “Where did you last see your people?”

Jules pointed toward the pretzel stand, about fifty feet away. “We had just passed that.”

And it was my own fault in the first place, he didn’t add, even though it was true. The thought was enough to make his eyes itch; he sniffled twice. Don’t cry, don’t cry, you’re fine.

“Hey, it’s okay.” The man crouched and dug around in his pocket before handing over a clean napkin. “We’ll find them soon. How long have you been waiting?”

“I dunno.” Time was hard. Sometimes Jules thought he had been waiting an hour when it had only been ten minutes, but sometimes he blinked and fifteen had passed. “Five minutes, maybe?”

The lady’s reassuring smile reminded him of Ms. Dorcas. “I’m sure they’ll—”

“Jules!” a familiar voice shouted, followed by a half-muffled ‘holy shit’ that he barely heard as he whipped around. He hardly had time to open his mouth before Remus appeared from the crowd in a flash of motion and yanked him in for a hug. Around the dizzying relief, Jules wondered if his knees hurt from hitting the ground, but Remus was making a funny sort of wheezing noise as he held him in a death grip. “Oh my god.”

“Are you his parents?” the woman asked.

“I’m his brother, oh my god,” Remus said, pulling away to hold Jules’ face in his hands. His eyes were a bit red and he was panting, though he didn’t look like he had been running. Behind him, Sirius was paler than Jules remembered. “Where were you? We were walking and I turned around and you were gone—”

Jules burst into tears.

Not even cool, tragic-hero-backstory tears, either. His face was damp, his nose was running, and he couldn’t stop hiccupping because you’re here, you’re here, I thought I lost you.

“Hey, no, shh,” Remus soothed, kissing his forehead as he folded him back into his arms and rocked back. Jules buried his face in the side of his neck and clutched his coat like a lifeline. “Shh, I’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry,” he blubbered. “It was an accident.”

“I know, buddy, it’s okay. Can you tell me what happened?”

“I saw a quarter.”

“…what?”

“I saw a quarter,” Jules repeated. His cheeks heated with shame. “I picked it up, but someone pushed me and—and when I stood up there were too many people an’ I couldn’t see you so I waited for you.”

“I’m so sorry.” Remus’ voice sound odd, higher and tighter than usual. “You did exactly what you were supposed to do. God, Jules, I’m sorry.”

“ ‘s not your fault.”

Remus let him go with a weak laugh and swiped at his tears with his sleeve. “It’s my job to look after you, buddy. Don’t pick up any more quarters, though, okay?”

“Okay.” As much as Jules wanted to protest that he was ten, he could look after himself, he had to admit it felt nice to know he wasn’t entirely to blame. He held out the crumpled tissue. “Here.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Remus blew his nose, then frowned. “Hang on, where did you get this? ‘Cause if it’s been sitting in your pocket for god knows—”

“I gave it to him,” the man interrupted with a sheepish smile. “And it was only in my pocket for about twenty minutes, I promise.”

Remus glanced up at them in surprise as he stood, like he had forgotten they were there. “Did you find him?”

“He found us, more like,” the lady joked. “It was only for a couple minutes.”

“I can’t thank you enough.” He sounded like he was going to start crying again, so Jules leaned into his side in support. The action did not go unnoticed; Remus’ arm wrapped around his shoulders and held him close.

The man shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Stay safe, kid.”

“I will,” Jules promised. Remus let out a shaky breath and sagged against Sirius as the pair walked away.

“That was the longest eight minutes of my life,” Sirius said, his voice hoarse.

“Am I in trouble?” Jules asked quietly.

Remus ran a hand through his hair. “No. You scared the shit out of us, but as long as it wasn’t on purpose, you’re not in trouble. Ready to head home?”

“Aren’t we supposed to go to the bookstore?”

“I think I’ve had enough of malls for today.” Sirius bent down and Jules practically fell into his open arms, snuggling into the soft fabric of his hoodie. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah. Did you know you give awesome hugs?”

He felt a soft laugh against his cheek. “So I’ve been told.”

“I knew you’d come back for me.”

“There was never a doubt about that, buddy.”

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, sinking into the warmth that had become familiar. The hero-worship had started to fade as he grew to know Sirius off the ice, but he liked it better that way. “Love you.”

Sirius’ breath caught under his palms and he gave Jules a light squeeze. “I love you, too. Do you want to ride on my shoulders back to the car?”

Of all the questions Jules had been asked that afternoon, that one was the easiest to answer.

[jamesandthedog]

I think it’s still @blitheringmcgonagall ‘s birthday where she lives so happy birthday you vaguely shining light of my life! No present could express how glad I am to have you as a friend, but have a little bit of fast written and very unedited Jily:)

Stuffed in Sirius’ drawer

James remembered Lily’s voice and how her hand felt wrapped around his own. At least he thought it was her hand. He remembered seeing the familiar features of his best friend hovering high above him and he thought he had heard voices. He may have slept somewhere between those thoughts, he wasn’t sure. Everything felt a little groggy, dream-like, just like the pain he remembered vaguely in the back of his mind, or those white-clothed witches and wizards he thought he’d seen walk by.

When he really put his mind into it, he could remember fighting Death Eaters near Portobello Road, but now it all seemed fuzzy. It had been late evening, but it wasn’t dark anymore. Where was he?

“James, are you awake?”

There was the voice again, her voice. This was James’ favourite dream, the one were Lily talked to him. Sometimes it was just a voice, sometimes a touch or blurry outlines of her face disappearing before he could quite see them. Though now something in this drowsy state of mind felt different, as if she was closer.

When James tried really hard, he could imagine Lily was holding his hand with both of hers, sitting beside a hospital bed. The image was shattering, there was too much light and he thought she looked tired, worried.

“Great. We’ve wanted him to shut up for years and this is when he decides to listen.”

“Shut up, Sirius,” Lily said and it came out almost as a cry.

“He’s going to be alright,” said a third voice, more soothing.

Remus, James realised.

This dream felt more real than the ones before.

“Stop pissing her off, Padfoot,” James muttered.

He heard Sirius laugh. Maybe he heard Lily whisper a Muggle prayer.

It took James some time to open his eyes and realise that Lily really was there. He couldn’t see her properly, he didn’t have his glasses on, but she was there, smiling, her lips kissing his fingers. Then he saw Remus, one hand on Lily’s shoulder as if he’d been massaging her shoulder to calm her down. Sirius was on the other side of the bed, leaning on the window frame, looking like he hadn’t had a shower in days.

“Should’ve known you’d come back from death just to defend Lily,” Sirius said.

James smiled.

“How are you?” Lily asked, placing his glasses on his face and kissing his forehead.

James thought about it. He felt a little sore, not much.

“You’re in St Mungo’s. You’ve been passed out for three days,” Remus added as Sirius walked on the edge of the bed.

That explained the bandages. Three days? Had they given him a sleeping potion? Shit. He moved a little and his whole body ached, making him grimace. Shit.

“Never better,” he smiled.

Lily took a long, shaky breath. James looked at her, and now that he was able to see her clearly, he could see she was upset. She had tears in her eyes. It felt was worse than the actual aching in his chest. James squeezed her hand that was still holding his.

“Good. You really scared Lily,” Sirius grinned.

“Scared me?” Lily scoffed. “You were the one considering going back to your parent’s house to do research on dark magic in case we needed to bring James back from the death!”

“I’d say it’s fair to say you scared all of us,” Remus concluded. “If Peter wasn’t on Order duty, he’d be here to worry over you too.”

James looked at them. He could see the worry boiling in Lily, and he knew Sirius could act calm but the idea of losing any one of his friends got to him. Remus was probably the most sensible one when it came to death, he’d given the idea some thought a long before the war started. He’d probably been the one to guide the others through the past three days, and James didn’t think he could even thank Remus enough for doing so.

“So… You all got out of there unharmed? What happened?” James asked.

Lily bit her lip. She didn’t look at him.

“Snivellus hit you with that curse. Remember the one that cut you at school?” Sirius said, anger in his voice. “Only he’s gotten better at it because it wasn’t just a cut of two, you were bleeding all over. And you know how Bella gets, I couldn’t get to you past her and fucking Snape.”

Lily looked down at their hands and took a long breath collecting herself. James hated putting her through this. Whatever Snape did wasn’t her fault. James squeezed her hand.

“I managed to disparate you, but that was after Snape had thrown a Crusiatus at you,” Lily said quietly. “It took ages for the heelers to stop the bleeding.”

“Your girlfriend hasn’t left the hospital since. And neither has Padfoot,” Remus concluded.

James took a breath and nodded. That explained why he felt his whole body ache. James remembered some of it now. Battling against Snape, the man had sought him out like he always did when he couldn’t see Lily around.

“Thanks. For getting me out of there and, everything,” James said, looking at each of them.

“Thanks for not dying,” Sirius shrugged.

“Me, shutting up for live?” James asked remembering the first words he’d heard Sirius speak. “No way I’d give you the pleasure.”

“I’d hit you if you weren’t looking so crappy already, you know?” Sirius grinned.

“Can I… Can we have a moment?” Lily asked, looking at the two boys.

Remus nodded. “Yeah. I’ll take Sirius home so you can talk. That mutt needs a bath anyway.”

They left, and James was left with Lily. Now that the others were gone she had hard time keeping her eyes dry.

“Hey, I’m here. I’m okay,” James said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her palm. “Are you okay?”

A sob escaped her lips, but she nodded, pressing her lips together.

“If you ever – EVER – scare me like that again I swear I-“ Lily started.

“Showcase your Muggle swearwords?” James raised a brow as he interrupted her. He loved listening her swear the Muggle way with all her Gods and Christs.

“Don’t start joking mister couldn’t-wake-up-for-three-days,” Lily snapped, but he knew she was relieved to hear him being back to his joking self. “Besides you told me you’d always win him in a battle!”

He had sworn that not too long ago, when Lily had witnessed Snape seeking James out in a battle two times in a row. It had happened earlier too, and James had a feeling Snape only did it when he thought Lily wasn’t around. But she had caught up to it, so James was forced to talk to her about it. He didn’t want her to worry, and honestly he was better at combat, so he had told her she didn’t need to worry about it.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, apologetically.

“I don’t need you to be sorry, I need you to stay alive, you idiot!”

She was sobbing now through the anger and yelling. James tried to sit up, but it was too fast and hurt his chest where Snape’s first curse had hit him. Lily stood up to stop him, but he got up sitting anyway, this time slowly. He pulled Lily closer by the hand until he could hug her. It wasn’t a full hug, not the type of warmth and comfort he was able to give when his chest wasn’t covered in wounds.

Lily cried, her tears wetting the skin on James’ neck as his fingertips draw calming patterns on her back.

“I am alive. I’m not going anywhere,” he hushed, pressing a kiss into her neck.

“You better not,” Lily said. “I’m pregnant.”

James’s fingers stopped petting her back. He let the air escape his lungs and pulled back just enough to see her face, it still hurt but it was the fastest thing on his mind.

“You what?” He asked, wiping a tear from her cheek.

“You heard me, Potter,” she said with defiance in her voice.

James snorted at it and glanced somewhere above just to take time to comprehend it. It was definitely not something they had been planning. They had been careful. Except maybe… Well, they may have not always waited quite as long as they should have after Lily took the potion preventing this sorts of thing from happening.

“And I’m keeping it so you better not die on us,” Lily added when James looked at her again.

It was a war and bringing a child into that certainly didn’t seem like a responsible thing to do. But when he looked at Lily, he knew what he had known for years. He wanted her. The chaos of war had only made him more certain of it. He hadn’t dare to dream of live after war for quite some time, but there had always been that distant idea of creating a family with her. Their little life together.

James nodded, giving her a smile. “Can you send an owl to Pads?”

Lily raised her eyebrows.

“You really want to write Sirius a letter right now?”

“I need him to bring me something,” James smiled.

“I tell you I’m pregnant and the only comment I get is your need to write to Sirius?”, she asked.

James rolled his eyes and kissed her softly.

“Fine,” he gave up on the letter and brushed a strand of hair from her face. “But if this is going to be very lame because I can’t even get off the bed, you’re the one to blame.”

“James? That makes literally no sense,” Lily frowned. “Are you alright? I’m going to call a heeler.”

James laughed and kissed her again before she had time to move away from him.

“No,” he shook his head and kissed her once more, slowly, bringing his hand in her neck. “I just mean, I’ve wanted to do this for a long time. And I can’t promise you I won’t ever die. But I swear I’ll do anything to keep us all safe. I can’t get on one knee-“

“James what-“

“And the ring is stuffed in Sirius’ drawer –“

“James-“

“I fucking love you, Evans-“

“Oh my god.”

“I love your laughter. I love your fierceness. I love your wit. I love how big heart you have. I loved to wake up to your voice today. I love everything about you, even the things that annoy me. And I’m not saying this just because you’re pregnant. Will marry me, Evans?”

There were tears in Lily’s eyes again. His hands had moved to cup her face as he’d spoken and she was holding onto his wrists. He tried to read her expression but he was too nervous to catch her thoughts just by reading her.

“You have a ring stuffed in Sirius’ drawer?” She asked.

“He said I should commit to a ring at least for three months before chaining myself for life.”

“How long has it been there?”

“Around two months.”

Lily nodded. “He’s going to be pissed.”

James raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiled.

“You’re really going to marry me, Evans?”

“I’m really going to marry you, Potter,” she laughed, and pulled him gently closer, pressing her lips on his.

In that moment James was sure no death eater, not even Voldemort could stop them from winning the war. He had simply too much to live for. So he kissed her back, and felt nothing but utter joy until twenty minutes later when the tiredness took over his aching body and he fell asleep smiling.

[autisticandroids]

anyway i really dislike the “dean thinks cas doesn’t have feelings because he’s an angel” headcanon because i just don’t think it’s...... believable? 

like, my first thought is it doesn’t make a ton of sense if only because like, cas is such an overemotional character. like his motivations are intensely impulsive, irrational, emotional. but like, you could also argue that dean doesn’t understand that about him, that dean doesn’t see him very clearly, and that’s believable to me.

but there’s a lot of other evidence against this headcanon. like, first of all, dean has seen him human or de-angeled a couple of times, and he clearly doesn’t change that much. second of all, like, yes, in the early seasons dean sees cas as an Angel but by the late seasons he very much sees him as like..... just a guy? like he very much just sees cas as a guy in later seasons. i don’t know if i could pinpoint where this transition happens but it does happen. third of all, we see dean attempting to tug on cas’ heartstrings a good few times? 6x20 “i’m not gonna logic you,” 6x22 “we were family once,” 8x17 “i need you,” and those are the ones that come to me off the top of my head. and in 8x17 it even works! so like when push comes to shove and it’s a life or death situation, dean is aware that cas has heartstrings to be tugged on. like dean knows cas has emotions.

but the biggest reason is like. that line that people use to support it. the one from reading is fundamental.

Oh, I don't know, man. What can I say? You've been chosen. And it sucks. Believe me. There's no use asking "why me?" 'Cause the angels – they don't care. I think maybe they just don't have the equipment to care. Seems like when they try, it just... breaks them apart.

like, that line is..... okay we’re all agreed that dean is like. he is nothing if not a miserable little pile of lies. he is always saying the opposite of what he means and masking one feeling under another. it’s his defense mechanism. things he says, things like this, they’re him trying to convince himself/other people of one thing, while he believes another. 

the first thing he’s doing here is blaming himself. he is taking responsibility for both cas’ previous actions and his current state on his own shoulders. 

now, remember, this is an edlund episode. and given *waves hands* supernatural, i think one of the more coherent methods of analysis one can take wrt. the show is to view individual writers’ bodies of work as coherent canons within themselves, only semi connected with the show as a whole, because individual writers often have strong and conflicting portrayals of the characters. 

anyway ben edlund’s dean very much feels responsible for cas. like, obviously edlund wrote “the end,” and we have collectively made a delicious meal of the fact that the horror of that future for dean is that he’s ruined cas - that endverse cas is very much (if i may weave the text together for a moment) “fallen in every way imaginable,” and that it’s dean’s fault. but the end is not the only place this dynamic shows up. look at the man who would be king - “you're a friggin' child, you know that? just because you can do what you want doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want!” dean is very much taking it as his responsibility to educate cas here, to teach him right from wrong. ben edlund's dean very much views cas primarily as a child he is responsible for. hell, the whole drama of the man who would be king is basically that cas did something without dean’s permission, which doesn’t make a ton of sense unless you think dean feels responsible for all of cas’ actions. like, this is the flip side of dean’s control complex - if it is dean’s moral duty to control everything going on around him, then everything that happens is his fault. if everything that happens is his fault, then it is his moral duty to control everything around him. they’re the same. 

this line is dean blaming himself for cas’ “brokenness,” since he’s the one who got cas to try to care. and certainly, the text is encouraging him to blame himself:

DEAN It's Sam's thing, isn't it? You taking on his, uh, cage-match scars. I'm guessing that's what broke your bank, right?

CASTIEL Well, it took... everything to get me here.

like, i don’t think cas is trying to fuck with dean’s head here? i don’t think even at the best of times cas is emotionally aware enough to hit on the perfect way to ruin dean’s entire month like this on purpose, and this is not the best of times. and cas i don’t think sees things as dean’s fault, he just sees himself as fallen, he doesn’t think dean pushed him. and a lot of things have happened to cas in the last four years, only some of them to do with dean. to cas, “everything” here means just that - everything. dean is only one piece of a much larger puzzle. hell, cas when cas says “everything” he is probably referencing like, his whole “god’s plan” thing here: quite literally the entire predestined machinations of the world. it’s very little to do with dean.

on the other hand, i’m always just on the edge of reading cas in reading is fundamental, specifically, as bitterly passive aggressive - “always happy to bleed for the winchesters” is such a vicious line it’s hard to believe he’s being sincere. sometimes in stories i can sort of... feel the narrative/author possessing a character and saying what they want to express, rather than what that character would actually say. sometimes i feel like “well, it took... everything to get me here” and “always happy to bleed for the winchesters” were less “authentic cas characterization” and more “ben edlund being a bitter casgirl.” 

but i digress. regardless of whether that exchange was in-character for cas, and whether it was sincere, the effect on dean it has is in-character: dean blames himself. 

and the whole “they don’t have the equipment to care” thing is on the one hand, dean blaming himself - he’s the one who tried to get cas to care in the first place. and on the other, dean trying (and failing) to convince himself that there’s nothing he could have done, that it isn’t his fault - cas’ brokenness is inherent to his angelic nature, that can’t be dean’s fault.

the other thing he’s trying to do here is dehumanize cas. 

he has a couple of reasons for doing this. the first is simply that he's angry. dehumanizing cas is an act of cruelty, and dean is being cruel because he's angry.

it makes sense that dean is angry. like, on one level, cas has done a bunch of fucked shit that dean has every right to be mad about. but that stuff is not imo the primary reason dean is angry. dean is angry because of his self-blame. dean is angry because he blames himself for both cas' actions and his current state, and he's mad at cas for making him hate himself. i know that's like five dimensional blame refraction, but welcome to the twisted mind of dean winchester.

so dean is angry, and he's dehumanizing cas as an act of cruelty because he's angry. but he's also dehumanizing cas because he doesn't want to be angry at cas anymore. he can't forgive cas (because he can't forgive himself and he blames himself for cas' actions), but he loves cas and doesn't want to be angry with him, so he dehumanizes him and strips him of agency in order to absolve him of responsibility.

that's what's happening in this line. and also, all that aside, the line doesn't even say cas doesn't have feelings! it says he does, and they've ruined him!

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Not The Forgiving Type

[Name] was a kind kid. He was poised to be number one until shit hit the fan. But he wasn't gonna let his dream die no matter who got in the way.

Or

The one where All Might neglects his son a little. The son eventually goes apeshit and hurts the people that wronged him on his journey to becoming the Number One Hero

Warnings: Major Character Death, Vengeance, Murder, Blood Mentions, Religious Themes/Imagery, Christianity is not portrayed in a good light, All Might is compared to God, There is no good guy, sad ending.

The thing that [Name] hates most is his smile.

Christians believe that every human was born with sin. As such, you spend every day of your life abstaining from further sins as you try to erase the red from your ledger. You’re encouraged to do acts of service, not to win the favor of God but from the kindness of your heart. Because you care about people. Yet not doing those acts of service puts you years behind if you aim to present God with a clean ledger.

[Name] was kind. It wasn’t something that came natural to him nor was it particularly easy all of the time but he made the effort. Be kind to others, the family motto. His father was like God to the people he saved. Keeping a smile on his face as if at the shine of his teeth all life’s problems would flash away. And he’d give grand speeches for no other reason than he could.

“Power” his father would say grandstanding “is for the strong to be able to protect the week” [Name]’s father had the kind of power that made the weak feel untouchable. All might would save them. They were sure of it. [Name] was sure of it too.

‘Daddy’s so strong’ [Name] thought ‘I’m gonna be strong too.’ It was a shared thought between the two actually. He was the son of the number one. The son of God. Destined to bear the weight of everyones sins. The reincarnation, who stretches himself thin for the sake of saving others. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Strong should his resolve be, lest that head roll off of his shoulders.

[Name] was four when he got his quirk. Yagi was ecstatic. There was a slim chance that the boy would be born quirkless like Yagi himself and [Name]’s mother wasn’t in the picture. A one night stand who was paid off after she showed up on his doorstep with a baby. There was no way to be completely certain what would happen, but he believed. Hoping for all hope his little boy would be strong. At the proud look on his dad’s face, [Name] smiled. He would continue to make his father proud.

At the age of nine [Name] had all but mastered said quirk. He was a prodigy who’d trained with heroes like Nighteye, and Eraserhead practicing both combat and battles of quirk. Within the next year All Might finally thought [Name] was ready. And sometime after [Name]’s 10th birthday Yagi sat him down to talk about the possibility of him being the next person to wield One For All. [Name] was more than shocked to hear that his dad had been quirkless and possessed a rare, powerful quirk. In his nervousness all he could manage was a smile, a wide confident smile that masked all his hesitation and surprise.

“I’ll be the next number one hero dad” [Name] said “And i’ll make you proud”

Yagi gave his son a matching smile “You already have. And I can’t wait to see what you will do in the future my boy”

At age 13 [Name] took down his first villain. It was illegal of course, but things are easily swept under the rug when you’re the child of God. But why should he have been punished? He was doing good for the sake of good. Saving others with a smile on his face. That was the family motto. It mattered not that the streets were stained with the villain’s blood. No, he was a hero. Heroes saved the day by defeating the villain and giving hope to the people. His actions should please God.

“He’s not ready”

“He’s my son”

“And that’s why you can’t be impartial. Take a break, spend some time with [name] and teach him how to be a hero”

[Name] creeped closer to his bedroom door at the sound of the furious whispers trying to figure out who was talking about him and why. He leaned his head against the door not risking the chance that if he opened it to take a peak he could be seen or heard.

“He’s a great kid, with a powerful quirk. He cares about stopping injustice, and he gives people hope. Like I did. He’s primed to be my successor”

“All might you know I think of you as a great hero. But he’s too much like you”

‘Nighteye’ [Name] realized

“I think he spends too much time trying to be like you that he doesn’t know the true meaning of heroics. You’re right he’s a great kid but I don’t think he’s ready for the kind of responsibility that comes with One For All.”

“Who else if not him?”

Nighteye paused, and answered cautiously “I met a kid. Resembles you in looks, a little more than [Name] does. He has a strong work ethic and made his debut into class 1B at UA. His quirk isn’t exactly strong but he’s made it so. Give him a chance”

Toshinori gave a hesitant “maybe” and the conversation ended there.

Betrayal felt like a sharp stabbing sensation. Nighteye, his precious mentor doesn’t think he’s ready enough. Doesn’t want him to succeed. Wants his father to mentor another kid because he doesn’t believe in [Name]. Ouch.

The next morning, [name] is quieter. More unsure of himself as he asks his dad to stop training with Nighteye. The relationship between All Might and Nighteye is frayed and [Name] knows that. He’s the glue keeping them together so to get back at Nighteye, [Name] will sever the connection between idol and fan. He doesn’t need Nighteye, he just needs to please his dad. He’ll train on his own and become number one. Praise be to God.

Hands gliding through the air, [Name] played with a bright red colored mist that flowed through his fingers and gathered in the palms of his hands. He would flex them, some fingers pointing down, others curled inward as if he were grabbing something with that finger only. Depending on the weight of the object he moved, his arms would flex too.

In a fight his stance became wider, more sturdy almost as if actually shouldering the weight of the object. His knees bent when he planted himself into the ground, resisting the push and pull of gravity as he lifted things with a thought and a flick of his hands. He was powerful. The kind of powerful that makes you smirk at your opponent, not because you underestimate them but just because you know you’ll win. It’s a long hard road to becoming that powerful and [Name] was damned if he wasn’t going to show it. The perfect venue was coming up too. The UA Entrance Exams.

[Name] unconsciously used his quirk to stop something from landing in the koi pond he’d been walking past. “Poor fishies” [Name] thought as he grabbed the floating book. It read ‘Hero Analysis For the Future’  He casually flipped through it, silently asking for forgiveness. He’s not a snooper; he just needed a little guidance if he was going to be the best. It was a little burnt but thorough. He heard the noise of a bunch of boys walking by and he looked up. At the sight of Bakugou [Name]’s eyes flashed red. Bakugou looked away and scowled knowing he couldn’t beat the son of the Number One hero. Not yet.

“Oh [Name]-senpai you found my book”

“Izuku-kun. I came to you for advice. But also just because I wanted to see you.”

“Of course! We’re friends you can ask me anything”

“I’ve been training a lot on my own recently because I wanted to surprise my dad with my progress but pretty soon I think I’m gonna ask him to personally train me. The UA entrance exams are pretty soon. And I want to make him proud”

“I’m sure you’ll do fine! You’re a great hero already with an amazing quirk. I think he’ll be proud of you no matter what you do”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive”

“Thanks. I’ve gotta go train, my exams are way sooner than yours. You’ve still got about 10 months right?”

“You honestly think I can make it senpai?”

“I don’t know. But I like you and you’ve got the right attitude so I want to support you. Who knows maybe you’ll make history as a quirkless hero.”

[Name] smiled and bid Izuku farewell as he headed off in the opposite direction intending to train even harder to become the number one. Everything in his life was primed so he would be the best. He was Icarus chasing after the sun on his man-made wings. But he was determined not to fall, not to drown and he refused to fail even if the sun burned him up upon first contact.

[Name] passed his entrance exams and was ranked number one in the incoming first year class. His first number one. The sports festival being his next goal, and once he finally had One For All, there’d be no one to stop him. He was sure of it. And that’s what he wanted to tell his father the day Yagi came home and excitedly told him he’d met and befriended a young boy from Mustafu called Izuku Midoriya. [Name] smiled brightly happy that the two of them had met and instead promised himself to bring the topic up the next morning.

The opportunity never came considering All Might had gone missing from the house every morning before [Name] woke up and he’d come home deflated and exhausted. [Name] would just smile at the exhausted Yagi and make the two of them dinner or tuck Yagi into the bed when he’d fall asleep on the couch. It was pretty easy for a telekinetic to tuck their dad into bed without waking him. Sometimes [Name]’s eyes and hands would glow and he’d flutter his fingers near Yagi’s temple sending him sweet dreams. After about two months of this [Name] decided to confront Yagi, and he camped out on the couch that faced the front door. When Yagi tried to sneak out [Name] spoke up

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve got some work to do early this morning”

“Everyday for two months?”

Yagi’s eyes widened, not knowing [Name] noticed his habits. And that was a part of the problem. [Name] paid attention to everything, he was a strategist who had a degree in All Might. It was how he and Midoriya became friends in the first place and why they continued to get along so well

“I’ve been training”

“For what” [Name] asked and at the slight downturn of his father’s smile he realized he’d been asking the wrong questions. “Where?” He received silence

“Who are you training dad? And don’t lie to a mind reader”

“I’ve been training Young Midoriya”

“For his entrance exams? Why not invite me? The two of us are friends and I can teach him how to spar”

“It’s just between the two of us, no need to wear yourself thin. Focus on training for the sports festival”

“I’ve been trying to ask you to train me. This is the perfect opportunity”

“Perhaps later my boy”

The disappointment barely got a chance to sit on [Name]’s face before he smiled “Have fun dad. Tell him good luck for me, yeah?” Yagi nodded and headed out the door, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. [Name] was a good kid.

[Name] returned to training alone, and cleaning up after his dad, and going to school, and listening to his dad lie, and smiling. But the feeling that he was missing something took over him and set him on edge. So he went for a walk. And who better to find than Izuku Midoriya and his dad training on a beach. [Name] reached up a hand to wave at them before realizing this is what was setting him on edge. His dad was paying more attention to his quirkless kohai than his own son. He felt another stabbing sensation similar to when Nighteye had betrayed him but this time the pain was in his chest and didn’t go away. It was accompanied by the desire to cry. And so [Name] stood there hysterical with a smile on his face and tears streaming down his cheeks. The taste of snot reaching his tongue through his teeth.

[Name] waited for them to finish training before he followed Izuku pretending to just casually bump into the boy. “Oh wow Izuku you’re shaping up. My dad says you’ve been training lately” [Name] knew the boy was horrible at lying and would probably nervously blurt out the truth between the two, and if he didn’t there was always the option of reading his mind.

“Hehe, yeah” Izuku chuckled nervously

“So what’re you training for exactly? I know you’re aiming for UA but what’s your strategy for passing the exams? Just regular old strength training?”

“Actually All Might’s been training me for something else entirely. I’ve got to go but I’ll talk about it more with you later okay?” Midoriya screamed behind him as he put some distance between the two. He was smart, smart enough not to look in [Name]’s direction anytime he lied, a strategy that kept him safe for months. All good things must come to an end.

[Name] showed up on the beach one afternoon and demanded to know what was happening. His expression was serious and his eyes glowed the moment they tried to placate him.

“I’ve been training Young Midoriya to be a hero” All Might started

“Yes I know that”  

“More accurately his successor” Midoriya finished

“Wait what” [Name] frowned

“I knew you approved of Young Midoriya becoming a hero and when I saw him save Young Bakugou from the attack I saw myself in him”

“I’M supposed to be your successor. You don’t see yourself in me? Your son?”

“Bubs-”

“Don’t Bubs me. And You!” [Name] whipped around furious, hurt in his eyes as he faced Midoriya “I told you all I ever wanted was to be like my father and make him proud. I befriended you and protected you when I could. On the day of the attack I told you I wanted to train with him and you stole him. You took him right from under me.”

“I’m sorry” Midoriya stuttered out “But you have a quirk. You don’t know what it’s like being powerless and picked on. He gave me a way out”

[Name] looked at Midoriya sympathetically, simultaneously wanting to reach out and hug the boy but also wanting to make him suffer. At [Name]’s conflicted silence Midoriya continued “Senpai, please. Can’t you just be happy for me? I’m finally getting to live my dream”

[Name] looked at him apathetically “Why would I be happy you sacrificed my dream for yours?”

“Please” they begged and oddly enough, they begged in harmony “Don’t go. Forgive us, we didn’t mean to hurt you” Their eyes were pleading almost as if they knew the second he turned his back on them, it would be the end of their relationship. [Name] got a high off of their suffering. It was the first time in months he’d truly felt happy. They got a taste of what he’d been feeling.

‘This is karma’ [Name] thought ‘God’s in his heaven and all's right with the world’ He looked at the two of them and smiled. A reassuring smile. They let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding in as he laid a hand on the side of each of their heads. “I’m sorry” he said sickeningly sweet “I’m not the forgiving type”

Neither All Might nor Midoriya had time to react before [Name]’s eyes glowed and he sent them into a nightmare where they were abandoned and lonely calling out for help only to be betrayed. [Name] walked home with his head feeling more clear than it had in weeks. He’d always thought of his father as God. And if he were God that would make [Name] Jesus.

God made Judas, and All Might made a hero out of Midoriya.

Things were awkward in [Name]’s house after that. Yagi and Izuku were still training, and so Yagi would come home to a dark house and no son to greet him. If [Name] was around when Yagi got home, he’d pretend not to notice or leave the room immediately and have his things float up to his room. Yagi knocked on his son’s door one day and though he got no response he knew [Name] was listening.

“You can still be a great hero my boy. I know you’ll do great things”

“There’s no room for me to be Number One while One For All exists”

Yagi was disheartened and walked away leaving it at that. The day of the entrance exams was coming up and Izuku would finally receive One For All. He hoped they could take it one day at a time from there, considering they’d all be attending the same school for the next few years. Midoriya went on to pass the entrance exams and earned a spot in class 1A. Yagi was ecstatic and Midoriya got a taste of what it felt like to be a hero.

The UA Sports Festival made for a grand spectacle where Izuku Midoriya had called out to the world and said “I Am Here”. He showcased an amazing power but also his poor control over said power. About a week after the festival, Izuku was attacked by villains who believed the key to his strength was in his DNA. They knew he wouldn’t sit still and let them pluck hairs, so the easiest way was to make him bleed. They ambushed him, subdued him and took him to a second location where he was bled and beaten to death. His body was found a week after his disappearance. Broken arms, legs and lacerations all over his body. The police suspected most of his injuries came from him trying to escape.

The villains couldn’t remember why they took him. The harder they tried to remember the worse their heads hurt and their eyes would glow red. Even Naomasa with his lie detector couldn’t pick up the truth. All the villains knew was that his blood was supposed to give them a boost, like some of the other illegal quirk boosters on the market. The suspects were released on bail and disappeared several hours later.

All might of course felt responsible and was weighed down with guilt. He had killed Young Midoriya through his own negligence. Heavy is the head that wore the crown. Yagi was strong enough to keep his head on his shoulders but he could not move from the position he was in.

He recalled a conversation between himself and [Name] a day or two after Midoriya’s disappearance. The boy who hadn’t smiled once since their fight on the beach gave a twisted smile as he asked “How’s your successor doing? Have they found his body yet?

Yes, All Might had done this to Young Midoriya himself. He played the part of instigator and now he was the secret keeper. He was to bear the sins of his son and himself as he prayed that unlike [Name], Young Midoriya up in heaven was of the forgiving type.

[thran-duils]

Total Eclipse (P.1)

Title: Total Eclipse (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Sherlock Holmes (RDJ). Sherlock had an impression on the reader from a formative age but he was always so busy running with cases. Their moments of passions were coveted between the two but they were few and far between. He left with Watson on a case and in that time, her parents found her a suitable man to give her to. Wealthy and accomplished. Sherlock and her have not been able to let go of each other though. Words: 1,816 Warnings (for the whole fic): Angst, infidelity, smut, swearing, substance abuse, non liner storyline, character death, 18+ as always Author’s Note: more warnings may be added for other chapters. As always, 18+. Also, the song inspo is def Total Eclipse of the Heart but its the Blvck Ceiling remix!

Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

The carriage came to a stop outside the glove shop in front of you. It matched the description on the note that had mysteriously found its way into your cosmetics bag at home last night. And as the note had said, the gloves you picked up were already paid for. A practical gift from an absurdly practical man. One you could easily explain away to your husband as a gift he had simply given to you that he had forgotten that he had. He gifted items to you so often, it would not be hard to have this small token pass under his radar. Small to him but it was a symbol of a large wedge in your marriage, and it would always be.

The door opened and Sherlock was leaning out, smiling coyly. “May I offer you a ride, ma’am?”

“Do you even know where I am going?”

“Well, no. But if you would tell me…” You kept your face neutral at his toying and told him the address. He smiled broadly and said, “What a coincidence. I am heading that way and it looks like it might rain…” He turned his eyes skyward. It was cloudy. What a coincidence indeed. There was playfulness in his eyes as he pressed, “Ma’am?”

Sighing, you took his hand and let him help you into the carriage. He swung the door closed and tapped the wall behind him. The carriage took off.

“My, I’m pleased I was able to assist you,” Sherlock started cordially. “That is quite a lovely gown. Persian silk, is it not?”

“It is,” you answered stiffly.

You hated the games he played. He was going to pick you apart just for his own amusement now. Comment on all your riches simply because he had such a keen eye for everything with his travels and his intellect. And also because he liked you to remember how intelligent he was; it was something about him that had drawn you in in the first place. It still impressed you but now you knew it was him simply being petty more than anything. He wanted you and he wanted it badly. He was superior to your husband intellectually and always would be, something that would eat away at you. And besides intellect… Sherlock knew how to work your body like a well-tuned clock. This was foreplay for him. Assessing everything that had been going on with you in his absence since your last tussle in the sheets.

“Hmm. What lengths your family or husband must have gone to to acquire that fabric. You must really be special. Or they’re just woefully arrogant about their wealth.”

You shot him a disapproving look and he merely smirked briefly.

“I think it’s the latter personally. But what do I know? I haven’t seen you for four months.”

“Yes. What do you know?” you quipped.

“How is your son?” he returned quickly.

“With the nanny.”

“How aristocratic.”

“You never wanted children,” you told him tightly, getting tired of his questioning.

You knew why you were here. He was jealous still, even more so that you had had a child. And especially a child that was not his. He had been on a case across Europe at the time of conception… leaving no doubt about the father. But he was here now, wanting what he always wanted. A piece of you.

The two of you grasped at whatever pieces of the other you could get to hold close.

“Presumptive. We don’t know each other,” Sherlock replied, shooting you a look. You glared back and he merely simpered in response. “You look tired of the games.”

“I can’t even begin to describe how tired I am.”

The shades were drawn immediately by him, leaving the two of you in almost total darkness.

He was on you in a second and he pulled you close. “And how lonely?”

“Did you really shut yourself inside for four months?” you hissed back at him, as his hands played with the buttons of your bodice. “You are one to talk about loneliness! Watson told me!”

“I was only inside for two,” Sherlock responded lightly, as if that made it any better. “I had a case I did. But… two months inside was nothing. Why are you making such a big deal out of it? And why is Watson tattling to you?”

His hands were running up your sides, holding you close. His breath was hot, and he was coming in quickly. He claimed your mouth with his, the kiss deep and passionate. His tongue slipped past your lips, swirling and you responded in like. The two of you were panting with the intensity, hands grasping tightly on each other.

Sherlock managed to pull you down to the floor of the carriage and you hit him in protest. “My skirts! The dirty floor!”

“Say you fell. Make up a story of a heroic war hero – think of Watson for inspiration – helped you up off the cobble stone. It’ll make a great dinner story,” Sherlock spoke in hushed tones as he turned you around.

Your hands hit the opposite seat, chest planted firmly against it. Your heart was beating loudly in anticipation of the pleasure you were about to engage in. And the excitement that you truly could be caught at any moment if the carriage stopped for any reason.

Sherlock’s lips were at your neck, kissing up earnestly. He sucked deeply and you knew to let him; he knew the rules. He would never suck hard enough to leave a mark. No matter how much he wanted to. He nipped at your ear before circling back down; you turned your head to let him pull you back into a kiss.

He took this distracted opportunity to pull away, leaving you in a haze as he pushed your skirts up. You had done specifically as he liked and he was impressed.

“No undergarments,” Sherlock commented quietly his hands gripping the sides of your ass. “That’s very inappropriate and screams hussy in society. But… it’s very appropriate for me. I’m just delighted.”

“Will you get on with it?” You said impatiently. He always spoke so much and at the most inopportune time.

He chortled at you. “Always rushing. It’s what got you into your marriage in the first place, my love.”

His fingers traced. Running down between your thighs and pressing your legs open as you huffed indignantly at his rude comment. He always had to talk down about the situation you had found yourself in as a woman, no less. He knew why you had given in and still!

“And the fact—oh!” You gasped loudly at the last.

Sherlock’s fingers had dipped into your folds. He laughed quietly and warned you.

“Quiet now, dear. I paid the driver for discretion about who was in the carriage. Not discretion about any gossip he might hear. We should hurry it up though. We’ve taken three turns which means there are only four left. About fifteen minutes.”

Sometimes it paid off how perceptive he was but it still annoyed you right now when all you wanted to do was get off.

“How I wish I could turn around and sink onto you. That would ensure this would be done quickly,” you hissed at him.

You felt him at your entrance immediately and he pushed in. You groaned and he did in turn too. He filled you to the brim and sat stationary for just a moment, seeming to cherish the feeling before pulling out and setting himself a good pace. You pressed back onto him and one of his arms came to hold you tight across your chest. He still laid sloppy kisses along your exposed skin at your neck as he fucked you.

“Another turn,” you said sarcastically, just to rile him up.

And it worked.

He increased his pace in response, driving deeper. You lost your breath, fingers digging into the carriage seat as his teeth sunk in slightly. Bastard. He was pressing the rules just to teach you a lesson to be quiet and let him work.

His hand slipped back down to toy at your nub and your breath quickened.

Sherlock’s hand slapped across your mouth in anticipation. You hated he could read you so damn well. You moaned against his hand, your cunt clenching around his cock. His fingers dug in on your cheek, struggling to hold your pleasure in as you came undone as you were drawing it out of him with your tightness. He grunted loudly, sputtering. And then he was spasming just like you.

The third turn. The two of you felt and you were away from each other in a messy way. You pulled yourself back up onto the seat, touching at your hair. No, that was fine. He was always careful to not mess that up unless you two were spending the night together.

Across from you, Sherlock straightened at his waist coat. “The ball two days from now—” he started to say.

“It’s a masquerade.” You straightened your skirts out and sad back down on the carriage seat opposite him. You pressed them down further and did not miss the amused expression on his face.

“I’m quite aware, darling. Perfect opportunity.”

“For you to greet everyone? Come out of your shell?” you returned.

A smirk tugged at his lips. “Watson told me I should.”

“I’m telling you that you should.”

“And that is enough.”

He had a sincere look in his eyes.

In your tryst, the rain truly had started to fall, a steady beat on the top of the carriage.

You had only been married for less than two years. And god, how you wished it was to him. But that was never to be.

The carriage came to its final turn and your house was so close. Your big… big house. It was so empty. The two of you were locked in a gaze just as the carriage came to a stop.

Swallowing sharply, you grabbed your purse off the bench beside you and said loudly, “Thank you for your courtesy. My husband would have been angry if this silk had been ruined in the rain.”

“You better run quick since there’s no butler here to greet you.”

“Ass,” you snapped, and he smiled again. You hated his smug smile so much, but you cherished seeing it too all the same. You climbed out, reluctantly taking his hand to help.

“You didn’t even say ‘welcome back’.”

He was actually pouting.

“You’ve already made yourself at home, dear,” you quipped.

You slammed the carriage door in his face and heard him chuckle from inside.

Turning, you went up the pathway quickly to the gate and threw it open, not bothering to look back. You knew you would see him again at the ball. The light rain was no bother.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

also @mcnegan​ if you are interested haha!

(THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I’LL USE THE MARVEL TAG, OTHERWISE I’LL TAG SPECIFIC PEOPLE AFTER THIS SINCE IT IS NOT MARVEL, AND JUST AN RDJ CHARACTER! If you wanna be tagged, let me know! :D)

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Lovedust Pt.6 || Peter Parker x Stark Reader

Summary: Y/N finds out more about how the lovedust works and it leads to her realizing her biggest fears about Peter if he’s cured. 

Word Count: 4.2k

Author’s Note: There’s a lot going on right now but thank you guys for being so incredibly kind and patient with me. Shit is going to hit the fan real soon with Lovedust so stay tuned! ALSO Don’t forget to leave comments if you guys liked it or hey even if you hated it! ALSO ALSO My taglist is getting pretty big and hectic so if I missed yours, I am VERY sorry pls just message me again so I can add you asap!

Warnings: Mild language, mentions of death and nightmares, slowburn

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six ||

part seven || part eight || epilogue 

As your eyes fluttered open, you gave yourself a minute to adjust to the sound of rain hitting against your bedroom window. You closed your eyes as you inhaled deeply, your arm instinctively reached beside you to touch Peter, only to find that side of the bed empty. 

You opened your eyes again and slowly raised yourself up to turn to see that your prediction was correct and that he wasn’t next to you. You knew it wasn’t a dream, you distinctively remembered him holding you as you fell asleep but you guessed he might’ve left soon after. 

The memories of last night rushed through your head as you felt your heart drop slightly and already, you felt empty so early in the morning. You remembered everything about the nightmare but more importantly, you remembered Peter cradling you like a child as you cried in his arms. 

You couldn’t wrap your head around a single feeling to describe the thoughts in your mind. As every day passed, Peter was showing you more and more how much he truly cared for you, and the thought of him not being able to keep the same energy once he was cured terrified you. 

You loved this new Peter and how kind and compassionate he was around you. It was annoying at first dealing with the cringey pick up lines and weird comments about the two of you getting married but now that you realized there was more to those side effects, you found him even more endearing. 

It was the small things like how he sacrificed the right side of his body so that you could fit under the umbrella perfectly or how he would willingly sit through a horror movie for you even though you both knew how much he hated them. 

You even saw a change in yourself and how you treated him. The other day, you two sat side by side on the couch and shared headphones while listening to the playlist you made for him or when you would tell him a dumb joke just so you could hear him laugh. 

It was selfish to hang onto the idea that Peter would always be this kind to you but you rather savored the moments you two had together since you knew better to know that nothing in life was guaranteed. 

You felt embarrassed that he had seen you so vulnerable, especially since Peter didn’t know what happened to your parents and now, you felt like you owed him an explanation. You looked back at your clock and sighed once you saw that you had already missed the beginning half of school, you thought screw it, you were taking a mental health day. 

“ Is it senior skip day or something?” You looked up to see your dad standing in your doorway with his arms crossed over his chest in a scolding manner but once he saw your dazed expression, he dropped the act,” Y/N? Is everything okay?”

You could feel your throat tighten as you shook your head, refusing to cry again. 

“ Nightmare,” You swallowed to stop yourself from letting anymore sobs from coming out of your mouth as Tony sat next to you and put his hand on your shoulder. 

“ I know kid, I know,” Tony brought you closer to him as you hugged him tightly. 

You had told Tony about your nightmares but he was already well aware on what happened with your parents. You were still pretty young when your parents had passed and you’ve lived most of your life with Tony as a parent but that didn’t mean you weren’t traumatized over what happened years ago. 

Tony had not only given you a good home and had locked down your future, but he was always there to listen and offer help, whether it was from himself or health experts.

“ It was Peter this time,” You said softly as you felt your dad hug you even tighter,” I don’t know why but he was in the nightmare and he-he tried to hurt me...I feel so guilty, I don’t know why he was there but my brain just made him  you know?” 

“ That’s not something you can control Y/N, remember what I said, your brain just picks up on different people-unless he did something. Did he do something to you? Cause I swear-”

“ No, no Dad it was the opposite,” You sighed as you pulled away and bit the inside of your cheek,” I know you told me not to hang out with Peter but...we’ve been getting closer and I think I...I don’t know. All I know was that when he comforted me after my nightmare, I felt the safest I’ve been in a long time….Things are different now. I don’t know what I could say to convince you but please don’t get mad.” 

You looked down at your bedsheets to avoid his gaze and you weren’t sure if he was burning a stern glare at the back of your head or not. 

“ I’m not mad about Peter, I already knew you were seeing him behind my back anyway and I should’ve known you two would’ve pulled some Romeo and Juliet bullcrap. Anyway- You’re strong enough to look after yourself, hell stronger than some of these people living here and if I may speak candidly, I know you could kick his ass if he ever crossed a line,” Your dad said as you let out a small chuckle,” I want you to be safe and happy. I would prefer you feel that way without a boy in the mix but I won’t yuck your yum.”

You wrinkled your nose but you couldn’t help but smirk,” Do you think I’m strong enough to become an Avenger?” 

“ You already are,” Your dad smiled as you inhaled deeply,” but before we get too mushy, I did actually want to talk to you about the other day, you know, about Peter’s health.”

You sat up straighter in your seat as you nodded attentively at him before he continued. 

“ It’s really important that you keep this between you, me and Banner, okay? I’m gonna use some big words so keep up,” You nodded again as you felt your heart beat rapidly against your chest,” you already know this but the lovedust activates a huge amount of serotonin in the body and sometimes that can lead to some major health problems. Well, with every day that passes, he runs the risk of having a ventricular tachycardia and that’s what explained how he collapsed the other day-”

“ Hold on, he collapsed? And did you say a ventricular tachycardia? Like a heartattack?” You asked as you felt your own heart stop for a moment as your dad gave you a confused expression,” So you’re telling me the lovedust could kill him? When did this happen?”

Your dad inhaled sharply as he swallowed hard,” Yesterday afternoon. We were done running tests and Banner noticed a car pull up and I said it was your friend John-”

“Josh.”

“ Yeah sure. Then we heard a loud thud and Peter just dropped. He just fainted but still, it’s a sign that things are getting worse,” Your dad said as you felt your heart completely shatter.

You felt like it was all of your fault. Even though Peter just fainted, he could’ve hit his head and died right there and you couldn’t stop yourself from filling your head with more terrible thoughts. 

“ Oh my god, I never thought things would get this bad,” You said as you rested your forehead in the palm of your hands, trying to keep a consistent stream of thoughts but each idea made you think of Peter getting hurt,” and there’s still not a cure? What have you guys even figured out so far-it’s been almost a week!” 

You knew your dad was trying his best but all you wanted was for Peter to get better and it didn’t help that time was against everyone. Peter could suffer a heartattack at any time of day and it didn’t make you feel better than nothing was being solved. 

“ Well we have a pretty strong theory about what caused the lovedust if you’re up for hearing it,” Your dad suggested as you hesitantly nodded. 

“ Our main theory is that the lovedust is effective when the patient- Peter- makes contact with the variable-you- and since you were the first person he saw, it activated his serotonin output. So it could’ve been anyone and Peter would’ve had the same reaction,” Tony said and it was so silent for a minute that you could hear a pin drop,” why is your face pale?”

You didn’t know how much you didn’t want to hear that theory until this very moment. You weren’t even sure why you could feel your throat close up again but this news made you sink back onto your bed. 

Peter really didn’t mean anything he was saying. After all those late night talks about how in love with you he was, those were all just side effects. Those were never his thoughts. He never really loved you. 

“ Oh...that’s good I guess,” You said quietly as Tony’s pager buzzed. You could tell Tony wanted to stay and talk to you but when he looked down at the notification, it seemed pretty urgent,” you can go, I’m just gonna stay here for a little bit.” 

“ We’ll talk later, okay kiddo?” Tony patted your knee and walked past your bed, closing your bedroom door behind him. 

You stared up at your bedroom ceiling as you thought about what your dad said. Peter’s condition was getting worst but now, at least they figured out something that could help them along the way. If they could figure out the properties of the lovedust than that means they could reverse it and find a cure. 

What if you didn’t want them to find a cure? 

You almost talked yourself out of your thought and called yourself a selfish idiot in the process, the goal was for them to help Peter. This could help Peter, you reminded yourself as you got up from your bed to get dressed. 

You weren’t sure where you wanted to go but you thought that your mental health day could carry on to the outside world. 

Mad....why were you mad? 

You had no reason to be so upset and you kept reminding yourself as the elevator went down to the garage. You aggressively pressed the button to unlock your car and once you sat down in the driver’s seat, you started your car and backed out of the garage. 

It was pouring outside and while you hated driving in the rain, you just had to leave to clear your head. 

Why were you upset?

Maybe because for once in your life, you felt special. 

You stopped on the brakes and you could feel your heart sink into your chest as the rain hit against your windshield. 

You shook your head slowly before you slapped your hands against your steering wheel hard.  

Was it awful that you loved the attention you were getting and maybe, just maybe, you were starting to see Peter differently? 

You slammed your firsts against the wheel again and again as you let out a frustrated grunt through your gritted teeth. 

You were mad that Peter could die. You were mad that there wasn’t a cure. You were mad that the lovedust had ruined your life. You were content without Peter meddling in your life but now that he had left such an impression, all you wanted to do was make sure he stayed as true to himself as he was now. 

You couldn’t expect that from him. You couldn’t expect that once he was cured, he would act back to his regular douchebag self but anything was possible, he didn’t owe you anything. 

You taunted yourself as you tried to snap out of whatever this hellish tantrum you were throwing. 

Why would you be upset over a guy who had fake feelings for you all this time? 

It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t your fault either.

Anyone. It could have been anyone. It could’ve been a sockpuppet and Peter would’ve probably tried marrying the damn thing. 

You snapped your head over to the passenger side of the door once you heard a hard tap come from the window. Once you saw it was Peter, you turned to face the front and unlocked the door without looking back at him. 

He opened the door and sat down beside you in the passenger seat without saying anything. He was soaking wet from head to toe and while you were annoyed he was getting the inside of your car wet, you had more important things to focus on. 

It was too quiet for your liking but there wasn’t anything you wanted to say to him. Frankly, you weren’t sure why you even let him in.

“ How did you sleep?” Peter asked quietly as he tested the waters.

It was clear that you were in some type of mood but Peter never knew how to approach situations like this, especially since he didn’t know why you were so upset. 

“ I slept fine, you?” 

“ Good I guess,” Peter shrugged as he shifted awkwardly in his seat,” are you okay? Are you upset about what happened last night-”

“ No,” You said truthfully as you leaned your head back against the headrest,” I mean, yes, I’m okay but no I’m not upset about last night.”

“ Well something is clearly bothering you and I just want to help. You know you can tell me anything, I mean it Y/N, we’re friends now. We shouldn’t be hiding things from each other,” Peter said as you let out a dry laugh. 

You knew you couldn’t reveal everything to Peter about what your dad had told you but it didn’t stop you from feeling angry. 

“ Okay, you want to be honest, lets be honest. When were you going to tell me that you collapsed at the lab?” You asked as you turned your whole body to face him,” my dad told me this morning.” 

Peter inhaled deeply but looked you straight in the eye,” I was going to tell you... eventually. It’s not like I had time to really sit down with you, I know you’re going through a lot right now and I didn’t want to stress you out. Besides, I feel fine now, it’s not a big deal.”

It was a big deal, he could die. That’s what you wanted to tell him. His life was at stake and yet you were keeping this big secret from him. It was hypocritical and wrong and if anyone else had told you, you would’ve revealed to Peter about his worsening condition. 

But it was your dad who told you to keep things a secret for now and you just had to trust him for both of your sakes. 

You looked at him for a moment as you studied his face while he did the same to you. It was as if you both had so much on your mind yet no one wanted to be the first one to detonate the bomb. 

“ I’m just so tired Peter. I’m tired of having conflicted feelings on whether or not this lovedust has been creating more problems than solving them… Whatever this is between us, I like it a lot but I hate feeling so pathetic to the point where I actually enjoy the feeling of having a guy give me attention only because of some space shit,” You turned your attention back to the steering wheel,” How do we carry on with our lives once you’re cured? What’s stopping you from being a complete asshole to me like before?” 

“ I told you, nothing has to change. No matter what happens, we’ll always be in each other’s lives as friends or something more. I would never treat you the way I did in the past, I swear on my life.” 

Peter could feel the energy in the car shift right as he finished speaking but there was nothing he could do to change the course of the conversation. The path had already been set and now, he just had to strap in and hope he could hang on. 

“ How am I supposed to believe that? How do I know anything you’re saying is true? Everything this lovedust has been built on is a lie, you don’t love me Peter. It’s a fucking chemical reaction that is messing with your body,” You snapped loudly but Peter hardly flinched,” your mind and body has been corrupted by a parasite. You say you love me but if you take the lovedust away, you don’t. It’s that simple.” 

“ Just because it’s a chemical reaction doesn’t mean that the way I’m feeling is a lie. I spend so many nights thinking about you and how happy you make me so for you to say that I don’t actually love you-”

“ Are you listening to yourself? You love me because of the dust, why is that so hard for you to understand? Love is supposed to be natural, this is not natural!  If the way you’re feeling isn’t a lie, look me in the eye right now and tell me, did you love me before the lovedust?” You asked as you turned back to face him,” tell me the honest truth, did you love me?” 

Peter felt like his body was burning up in the worst possible way and his throat felt dry as he thought carefully. It was so hard for him to see how terrible he was in the past because of the lovedust, all he could think when he saw you was just utter love. 

You were visibly hurt, even if you were shouting at him he could read you like a book and there was something that he knew was there but he just couldn’t figure out what it was. It felt like some sort of test that Peter had to decipher; he didn’t have all of the pieces of the puzzle so how was he supposed to get the full picture? 

“ I don’t...no. No I didn’t,” Peter said softly as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding,” but that doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you.” 

There it was, the million-dollar answer to the million-dollar question. Of course he didn’t love you, he had tormented you for years. Your dad’s “theory” was right, the lovedust didn’t matter if he had loved you beforehand. It could’ve been anyone. 

So even if you might’ve known all along, why did it hurt and why were you upset?

“ Stop lying to me. You never cared about me, you loved humiliating me,” You said in a shaky breath,” you loved seeing me cry and you loved it when I got mad. I could see it all across your face, you loved making me absolutely miserable. So you can say you love me all you want now, but I know the truth. You don’t understand, this lovedust is ruining me, Peter. Do you know how painful it is to be tormented for years and all of a sudden, the same person is now in love with you just like that?” 

“ Ruining you? You didn’t touch the damn thing! And you want to talk about pain-Do you know how painful it is to love you?” Peter shouted as he felt his voice crack,” If I’m not near you, I feel like I’m going to die but when I’m around you, my chest feels like it’s going to burst open and it’s painful. I’m in pain right when I wake up in the morning to right before I go to sleep everyday because the mere thought of you drives me insane-” 

“ I didn’t ask for you to love me-”

“ I didn’t ask to love you either!” Peter shouted back louder, this time to make sure you would stop interrupting him,” My body feels weak all the time, I’m fucking falling apart because I love you so much. So don’t tell me that I’m lying about loving you because that’s all I feel when I look at you. Even when I’m pissed off I still love you but if you think for one second I’m going to sit here and let you attack me for my past that I have already apologized for, then I don’t want to hear it.” 

Peter gave you one last look before getting out of your car and straight into the rain. Peter slammed the car door behind him so hard to where the door completely fell off the hinges but Peter was so angry that he kept walking away. 

“ You fucking...ugh!” You screamed as you got out of your car and followed behind him. 

You were completely livid, you both were being unfair but just because he was going through a different type of pain than you didn’t mean yours hurt any less. 

You shouted after Peter but the rain was so loud to the point where you considered that maybe he just couldn’t hear you. You sped up your pace to the point where you almost slipped against the concrete. 

“ You don’t get to tell me that I can’t be mad at the past Peter when it’s only been a week since you got infected!” You yelled as you grabbed Peter’s arm to stop him from walking away from you,” Just because you apologized doesn’t mean I can let it go so easily. For years, you made me feel like I would be alone for the rest of my life because no one would ever love me!”

Peter whipped his head back around to face you as you kept a strong grip around his wrist,“ And I’m telling you now that I love you and I was a fucking idiot for hurting you. Jesus Y/N I am sorry but we’ve had this conversation before so why are you mad at me?” 

All you could focus on were his eyes, which were darting back and fourth across your face as if he was pleading with you. You had pushed him across the line so many times but now, Peter was pushing back because he just needed a clear answer. 

You both were tired of yelling and fighting and in this moment, Peter was so close to tearing down the walls you had set up for years to keep yourself safe against him. It was eating away at you because deep down, you knew why you were mad at him, you just didn’t know if you could bring yourself to let it slip out of your mouth.

The rain sounded muffled and all you could think about was how cold you were feeling. You were somewhat forcing yourself to focus on anything other than Peter but you were trapped in his desperate gaze. 

You felt your breath hitch as you could feel yourself getting choked up,” I’m mad...I’m mad because the way you feel about me right now, it’s fleeting... it’s temporary. One day when you’re cured, you’re going to stop loving me and that terrifies me.” 

Peter squeezed your hand and you didn’t even realize that while you were talking, the grip you had around his wrist had moved to interlock your fingers with his. You could feel your chest tighten as you moved your eyes down to your hands and you slowly moved your gaze to meet Peter’s. 

“ Why does it terrify you?” Peter asked softly and now it was your turn to plead with him using your eyes as if you were saying please don’t make me say it.

Maybe a part of Peter knew that you wouldn’t admit that maybe, there was something developing between the two of you that you just couldn’t bring yourself to admit. But Peter knew you well and even as he read you like a book, he wanted to hear it for himself. 

“ I’m terrified because…” You almost said it as a whisper and even Peter was having a hard time hearing you because his heart was beating so loudly,” because I…”

You swallowed hard as you looked down at his lips and even if it was just for a second, Peter caught you staring. Peter felt his knees weaken and he was seconds away from just pulling you into his arms but it was your move. 

Peter had given you all the power and while a part of him felt relieved, it didn’t stop him from reaching up and tucking a strand of wet hair behind your ear. This was the moment he had been waiting for. 

He had given you all of the puzzle pieces you needed except he saved the last one just for you. He wanted you to put the last piece in so that way you two could step back together and admire all of the hard work you put into it. 

 You would’ve. You were going to let him know everything and unravel in his arms because finally, you could let go.

You wanted nothing more than to pick up that stupid puzzle piece and slam it into the puzzle to show him you were serious. You were going to let your walls crumble down and for once, you were going to be fearless. 

But you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. 

“ I can’t,” You said softly as you let go of Peter’s hand and practically rushed back towards the building,  leaving Peter alone in the rain. 

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[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 8/?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)

This one is shorter because of the last one’s length.

Hi everyone! By the time you see this, I will probably be out and therefore cannot update the other parts with this one’s link, so don’t worry about that if you notice it.

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Jason’s Trauma and his Death, Lightning, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9)  (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Going on day 5 of knowing each other, Jason and Y/N would spend the day apart. Why? Because they gave each other the chance to have family time, Jason got it by playing around with his baby siblings, playing Assassin.

Fluff Head canon came from frownyalfred on Tumblr, who wrote about Jason playing Assassin with his brothers 

He would go running through the halls playing the game that he and Dick knew all too well, it had been the only ‘no contact’ game they were allowed to play at a summer camp Bruce had sent them to all those years ago when they weren’t adults with a bunch of other siblings, and girlfriends. But here they were, explaining the game to their younger siblings while Alfred and Bruce hung out with Barbara, who wished she could play, but was paralyzed.

Everyone missed playing games with her like they used to, but with the video game consoles in the house they did transfer a lot of their gaming to online so they could relive memories with Barbs. It was bittersweet, and everyone remembered when she became paralyzed like it was yesterday, but she always wanted them to play games like they used to, with or without her. 

Jason admired his, hopefully, one day older sister for how she treated her disability, like it was a gift, not something that impacted her everyday life and made her have to hang up the cloak of Batgirl.

But running around chasing after Dick, because of course, he got Dick, the universe wanted them to play again, was something he missed so much. They hadn’t had so much of this time, family time, ever since they all became vigilantes, and they never realized how much they missed the thrill of running around with each other.

Jason ended up getting Dick and throwing him out of the game, calling it a ‘selfless act of brotherhood so you can hang out with your girl’ and they both laughed at it. Titus, Damien’s dog, ended up barking up a storm at Jason when he killed Dick, like the big dog was rooting for Dick to win the tournament.

“Down boy! It’s a game!” Jason would whisper-yell at his dog.

“Yeah! Good boy, Titus! Get him!”

“No!” Jason would yell while running throughout the house, Titus on his heels. Passing by Alfred, Bruce and Barbara, where Titus would stop and go lay at Bruce’s feet, but Jason didn’t know that.

Jason would end up coming in just 10 minutes later, with a green slash on his neck. Tim, who had pulled Cass but killed her, Cass, who had pulled Jason. Tim now had two kills in the game and both were to people who could have easily overpowered him. 

“Jase! Welcome to the land of the dead,” Dick greeted him.

“God dammnit I’ve already been here,” Jason whined in a joke.

“You and your ‘I died pity me’  jokes,” Barbara said.

“It’s called a coping mechanism, Barbs. And hi dad, Alfred,” Jason said as he waved slightly at both of them, Alfred waved back and Bruce nodded at him.

“You could just to go therapy, Jase,” Barbara said, seeming concerned for someone who she considered her baby brother. She remember when he came into the Manor, she was older than him, sure . But he had nightmares and she and Dick would switch between who would sleep at his door at night, they both had terrible backs until the nightmares calmed down. Jason never knew they did this.

It also happened when he was resurrected, but the nightmares were worse and he’d wake all sweaty and upset. There were too many nights where batkids would be in Jason’s bed with him from 12am to when Alfred would greet them in the morning. The nightmares had slowed down a lot in the past few years with the introduction of his Goddaughter into his life, but they still came by to remind him of what happened.

He didn’t talk about it much. They would always try to edge him on about about really happened, but he was stubborn. It made sense, sure, trauma is trauma. But they all wanted to help him get better. It hurt them all that he was hurting and they didn’t know how to help him get through it.

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N would sit on her bed that morning and finally finished organizing her criminal psychology and regular psychology notes when she came across her printed copy of Dr. Barry Allen’s dissertation she had studied so hard. She found it so weird that she was so close to someone who she looked up to in the field while also being so far in the same breath.

She didn't dote on it for long, she stocked it away with her forensics notes in their place. This, the relationship she had with Jason that intertwined her with so many people, was something she was getting used to by the minute, but it was never something she’d get fully used to as time goes on.

She would put on a JCS - Criminal Psychology video in the background as she worked and tried to make her journal look nicer when Jason texted her,

Good morning. He said.

Good morning :)  She said back.

I just lost a game against a 16 year old.

Huh?

My brothers and 2 of my sisters were playing Assassins with me right? Well my 16 year old brother, Tim, he ended up getting the better of me and beat me. 

Oh! So you suck!

What!? No, I’m literally so cool what do you mean? He said, it clearly had sarcasm undertones to it, so Y/N wasn’t worried if she offended him with saying he sucked.

Oh yeah? Then why’d you lose?

Well, I killed Dick.

Okay so you didn’t lose, Dick lost.

It started raining a little bit, the sounds of it hitting lightly against her window, and she felt at peace. It was never hard for her to feel peace when she was by herself. She only had one roommate because she liked the silence, to be alone to collect her own thoughts in her head.

Her parents said it was because she probably had underlying mental illness that they never had the money to diagnose. She agreed. But she still didn’t have the chance to do it.

Jason and her deserved so much more than what the world have given them up to this point, so when they found each other it was, in a way, the universe saying ‘I’m sorry, you deserve this’ and with each passing day it made the pain they had both felt in their lives just a little bit more tolerable.

No, I guess Dick sucks at the game more than me.

Where’d you even get the concept for that game?

Dick and I used to play it at a Summer Camp before we got kicked out.

For playing the game?

No, for being unruly children.

You seem like you were a handful back in the day.

I was, I was the worst kid to raise, my dad has a shirt that says ‘Proud parent of a kid who is sometimes an asshole but that’s OK’ and he wears it all the time.

What a dad moment. Don’t tell my father that shirt exists, he’ll get one for my mum and himself to represent my sister and I.

Were you an unruly child as well?

I was a troublemaker. Getting into arguments with my authoritative figures about dress codes, rules, why girls couldn’t carry chairs, literally anything that was unequal, I was at their throats about it.

I mean, as you should. My older sister, Barbara, and my younger sisters, Stephanie and Cassie, they would like that about you.

I feel like in someway I’ve won over every part of your family.

The rain would get more violent as time went on. Strikes and hits of lightning would strike all around the city, hitting those gargoyles on every building, she always figured they were decorative, but A/N explained that their horns were made out of copper so people wouldn’t get struck by lightning. Bruce Wayne actually made that a thing, A/N said.

Y/N got a message from the dance competition that she signed up to, turns out, California was hit with a hurricane and most people evacuated. No one was allowed in or out. She guessed weather was being funky everywhere. It sucked, but she already was wishing she could spend time at home instead of out in the world.

A feeling she hated.

She would spend the rest of the day on and off the phone with Jason while it stormed. She would go to bed early that night.

-------------------------------------------------

Jason slipped on his vigilante uniform, the Red Hood was going to be on patrol over this night, stormy or not, it was his duty and he knew that. Did he want to go? Yes. He was killing for some action and he was going with Dick. They would probably have some ‘Bro Time’ which Jason wanted. 

Even if it was silence, having Dick nearby him meant enough and gave him peace of mind.

He grabbed his guns and loaded them while packing a few extra magazines in his belt, when Dick placed a hand on his shoulder, “You have to be careful tonight, Jase,” Dick said as he gulped down tears, “Just come back to me alive if you break off from me, okay?”

“Alive but bruised,” Jason joked.

“I’m serious. I can’t lose you again and tonight is going to be massively dangerous.”

“You won’t.”

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | six

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 4.7k

warnings: unprotected sex, begging, rough sex, doggy style, hair pulling, very slight dirty talk, slight hints of jealousy, very brief moment of spit play, oral (f. receiving), breast play, cum eating, fingering, multiple orgasms, marking/hickeys, cussing/mature language, angst, cuddling/after care, mentions of car accident/death, insecurities, unanswered questions, dont really know wtf this is or where it’s going, love triangle mess

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish @photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

The Uber ride is silent, and part of you started to question whether or not you should continue. But, before you could really talk some sense into yourself, you had arrived at Jin's house.

You remember him dropping his address into your text thread after Chance's death anniversary, in case you ever needed anything. For which specific reasons, you had no idea what. Maybe for times like these? You were beginning to think this is what he planned all along.

As you slowly walked up to the front of his perfect family sized home up in Orinda, you felt a little weird seeing his car and what you assume is Grace's car. You also remember him briefly saying Grace would be in New York, but you double check your receipts just to make sure [on some serious hoe shit]. If anything, you could just make up some weird, bullshit excuse and run away, right? Pull the drunk student card. Hopefully, you wouldn't have to.

You ring the doorbell once and stand there awkwardly. You didn't hear any movement in the house, although the lights were on, so you hit the doorbell once more, the cold settling into your skin as the minutes go by. This was the moment you started to really question your decision. Like what the fuck, Y/N? What are we—

Lo and behold, Jin answers the door. He looks like he had just hopped out the shower since he showed up in sweats, a white longsleeve and damp hair.

"Sorry, I just hopped out the shower." He steps aside to let you in, almost like he already expected you to show up.

"It's alright." You fiddle with your fingers.

"It's freezing, are you cold? Do you want a sweater?" You look down at your leggings and the thin sweater you grabbed.

"I'm good, thanks." You say softly as you follow him deeper into the house. It's quiet for the most part, and you feel incredibly awkward walking behind him like a lost child. He stops in his kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water.

"Water? Or anything to drink? Eat, even? I might have something I could whip up for you really quickly." You chuckle.

"No, don't worry."

"Soooo, wanna tell me what you're doing here Y/N?" He chuckles at you.

"Don't flatter yourself, Jin."

"Can't help it since Jungkook doesn't seem to live here." He smirks, his hands now dug deep into the pockets of his sweats. You can't help but marvel at the sight of his long, veiny arms and the way his collarbone is poking out from his longsleeve. Oh, the thought of his hands wrapping around your neck.

"Ha-ha, very funny." You say sarcastically, crossing your arms.

"Just going along with your game." He's now closer and towering over you, subtly biting his bottom lip as he looks down at you. "You have fun with my stepbrother tonight?"

"And if I did?" At this point, your knees are buckling and you're about ready to pounce on this man with the way he's been acting.

"So then let me ask again - what are you doing here, Y/N?" His voice slightly deepened as his finger rose your chin for you to look him in the eye.

"Why ask when you know?"

"Cause I wanna hear it."

"You really wanna hear why?" You say, almost at a whisper.

"Yeah, I do." He edges his face closer to yours, the lust very apparent and strong as hell between the both of you. "Or you can show me." You suddenly can no longer hold yourself off, forgetting the events that played out until this moment. You instantly throw your bag aside and jump onto him, kissing him as he wraps his arms tightly around you to hold you up. He doesn't break the kiss as he's making his way up to the bedroom.

He gently lays you on the bed, taking off his shirt before aiding you with yours. You bite your bottom lip as you gush at the sight of his upper body, your panties feeling more soaked by the minute. You wanted every bit of him, and you were ready to get filthy, fulfilling every need Grace couldn't. He snatches your leggings off, tossing them across the room. His large hands are feeling down your entire body as he deeply kisses you. His lips move down to your jaw, then down to your neck, his tongue swiping across your skin before nipping and sucking on the surface to leave his mark. You let out a moan while your hands are in his hair.

"Fuck me, Jin. Pleeeease." You mewl as he's sucking on each breast, his tongue toying with your nipples before gently sucking and nibbling on them. He makes his way down your stomach and to your inner thighs, his long fingers hooking onto your panties and shoving them aside.

"God, Y/N. You have no idea how bad I've been wanting to fuck you." He says lowly before he lowers his mouth onto your wet pussy. He instantly swipes his tongue down your folds, sucking all the wetness that leaks out. You let out a breathy moan when the sensation hits you, sending chills and goosebumps down your body. He inserts two digits, biting his lip at the sound your pussy makes every time he curves upwards and picks up the pace.

"Ohhhhh my god." You moan as you slightly arch your back and palm your breasts, toying with your own nipples as he continues to finger you and suck on your clit like no tomorrow. "Mmmmmm, fuck!" You almost yell as one hand is gripping the sheets, trying your hardest to hold on for as long as you could, but this man was really about to make you cum right at this moment.

And so he does. He makes you cum so fucking hard your body needs to be held down from how bad you're trembling. All you want is more, and he knows you want more. He pulls you to the edge of the bed, ready to line himself up with your entrance but you take his cock in your hand and jerk him off for a bit. His cock is long, and the perfect thickness. His tip red and angry, pooling with pre-cum that your thumb is swirling around and playing with. Your free hand is grabbing his other hand and inserting the two digits he used to finger you into your mouth, sucking each digit slowly. He can't even fucking bear this sight right now, or else he'll probably blow his load right onto you. His eyes are rolling to the back of the head and all he can think about is fucking you so hard that the headboard almost breaks the wall.

He wanted you so fucking badly, and you were being the biggest, dirtiest tease.

You finally insert the tip into your entrance, gasping and smirking at how good it'll feel when he completely fills you up. He wastes no time pushing himself into you, completely bottoming out until he's thrusting into you harder than you imagined. Your body is moving upwards, titties shaking and bouncing from how hard he's going. One hand is gripping your thigh tightly as you wrap your legs around his torso, the other is around your neck.

"Jin! Fuck, you're gonna make me cum again." He groans, closing his eyes as he continues to thrust hard, going deep every time he pulls back, hitting your core with the sudden movement.

"You think my brother can make you feel this way?" He lets out breathily.

"N-no." You whine, tears streaming down your face at the overwhelming sensation.

"Seemed like you thought so earlier." He has this look in his eyes, the same look he had when he was hungry for you at the club. Except this time, it was ten fold more being he was in between your thighs, fucking you until he couldn't anymore. And honestly, this shit was boosting his ego because Jungkook had you wrapped around his finger all night and he hated it. Jungkook was a really good looking dude, who was good at a lot of things, and Jin couldn't help but feel a little competitive against his own sibling.

But here he was, getting you all to himself.

"N-no!" You beg. "Only you. Only you can make me feel this way. Please make me cum." He groans, his thumb now working circular motions onto your clit until you're letting your climax take over your entire body once again. You're so out of breath at this point, but Jin doesn't stop and instantly gets you on your fours. He swipes his hand down your pussy, making you suddenly jolt at the sensitivity. You feel his spit dribble down your folds, causing your breathing to hitch. It was obvious Jin was letting out this pent up sexual tension or whatever the hell it was, but you honestly couldn't care less. He could use you all he wanted, especially if he made you cum the way you did just these past two times.

At first, he was gripping your hips, holding onto you as he hammered into your pussy from the back. You started following his movements with his, making him pause just to feel you move along his cock. He gives your ass cheek a good smack, causing you to yelp at the heat pooling at the spot. He grips your ass, spreading it just enough to continue burying himself deeper into your core.

"Just like that." You moan. "Hohhhhhgod, just like that!" You're almost crying. He grabs a hold of your hair, tugging it back so that he can see your face.

"Let me see you play with yourself." He spits out. You reach down for your clit, your hands rubbing in circles as he continues to fuck you and tug on your hair. You let out a loud moan, the headboard really damn near about to create a dent into the wall. "Yeah, that's it. You're fucking naughty." He says in your ear. You feel yourself spiraling for the third time tonight, and this third time has you weak, causing you to collapse down onto the bed as he continues to thrust into you and fill you up with his seed, his hand pressing your face down against the bed ever so slightly.

"Ohhhhggfuck!" You groan, twitching at the last minute aftershocks running through your body.  The only sounds filling the room are you and Jin catching your breaths. He slowly slips out of you, grabbing a tissue on the nightstand to clean you up before cleaning himself up and throwing on his sweats and shirt.

"You okay?" He slightly chuckles, handing you one of his shirts to slip into. You weakly get into it, running your hands through your hair and fixing yourself up. Your panties and bra are still off to the side, along with the clothes you came in.

"You wanted to know why I was here, right?" He smiles, his cheeks tinted a rosy color.

"I'll get you some water, but is there anything else I can get you?" He asks, holding onto the door frame, fine as fuck doing the bare minimum. You shake your head and he disappears out of the room.

You can't believe this happened. So much for keeping distance. But did you regret it? Honestly -absolutely not.

Jin comes back with two glasses of water and sets yours on the nightstand next to you, which also has a picture of him and Grace. Ironic. He sits right next to you on the edge of the bed, watching as you yawn before sipping some water.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, it's been a really long night."

"Tell me about it, Miss 'I'm trying to keep my distance from you.'" You shake your head.

"Yeah yeah, keep it up. It's exactly what I want." You sarcastically joked.

"I'm kidding." He places a hand on your covered leg and gently gives it a squeeze. "For the record, I'm happy you swung by."

"I am too, but I should probably make my way home soon."

"What? No, stay. It's late. Plus, you're tired."

"A-are you sure? I-I mean, I don't wanna--" He shakes his head to cut you off.

"I honestly would really like you to. Besides, I don't know why you expected me to let you go back home this late." It was weird. You honestly thought he'd fuck you then send your ass home, but here you were, cuddling into his sheets and getting warm. But this was Jin - the same guy who didn't go home until you had a chance to spill out your feelings and made sure you were okay. The exhaustion hits you, being that it's 3-4am or something like that, you don't even care to know.

"Okay." Is all you say, sinking deeper into the sheets that smelled like lavender Downy detergent.

"I just need to clean up a few things, alright? Go to sleep. I'll be back in a minute." You quietly nod as you lie on your side, examining the photo on the nightstand. Fantastic job keeping up with your end of the deal, Y/N. Although your friends would probably make jokes about it at first, they'd be so disappointed beneath the surface.

You shake your head and turn the other way to erase your thoughts. You start to feel comfortable, enough to the point where you find yourself falling asleep pretty quickly.

Meanwhile, Jin is cleaning up his kitchen and living room before shutting off the lights and heading back upstairs. By the time he's back in the room and shutting off the bedroom lights, he sees you fully asleep. He smiles to himself and slips into the bed, careful to not wake you, but he's unsuccessful as he feels you stirring and getting closer to his body. Jin welcomes it, throwing his arm around you and allowing you to snuggle up onto his chest, gently running his fingers down your sides. Your skin felt like butter.

"Are you not sleeping yet?" You mumble into his chest.

"I'll sleep soon." He says softly, flipping through the channels on the TV in front of him.

"It's late, though."

"It's a Sunday morning. I'll be okay." He smiles at how cute you were being. "Go back to sleep, cutie."

"Hmph, suit yourself." You say, making him silently laugh to himself. Attitude still on na-na even half asleep. He places a gentle kiss on the top of your head and brings the covers up to make sure your entire body is covered completely.

This.

This felt right for him, no matter how fucking bad or wrong this all went down. No matter how he tried to look at it, or anybody else. He felt deeply for you after tonight and there was really no way of hiding it. Why shit came about this way, he won't ever truly understand, but he always looked at you as some sort of sign. Some kind of blessing in disguise. He knew what he wanted for himself. He had to do what was right for him, whatever that meant. He was the only one who could truly understand.

You shot up from the bed, grabbing your chest as you tried to regulate your breathing. You had just experienced the worst nightmare you had ever experienced, the only part of it you remembered was seeing Chance behind the wheel as soon as the truck came head on first.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" Jin asks in a deep, sleepy voice, slightly raising his head and eyes barely open. You feel his hand against your back, gently caressing it.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Bad dream?" He's now yawning and sitting up against the headboard, his fingers still lightly caressing your hips.

"Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?" You shook your head.

"I just saw Chance behind the wheel before the oncoming car came on head first."

"I'm sorry." He says softly as he pulls you in.

"It's no big deal."

"Wanna make sure you're okay, though." Is all he says. He doesn't press you for details, or anything along the matter and simply sits there in silence, caressing you and holding you close. He knew you and Chance had a strong relationship, just based off of the way you talked highly about him, and that it was taken away from you unexpectedly. He wouldn't expect you to be completely over it. He would never understand the pain or how it feels, but he could do his best to be here for you. "You know I'm here if you need me."

"I know. Thank you." He smiles.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Sure."

"I'll cook something." He places a small kiss on your temple before getting up to get this Sunday started. You took a couple of deep breaths, still a little shaken up from the dream you had. But, you brush it off and get up to meet Jin downstairs. You slip on your panties, still walking around in Jin's shirt, and pass by his walk-in closet only to see Grace's clothes against one wall. You suddenly start to feel weird, so you hurry on by and get downstairs before you could start falling into a rabbit hole about your feelings. Jin was already at the stove, whipping up some eggs and getting some waffles into the toaster. He looked good doing so, his shirt doing a damn good job of outlining his back muscles and broad shoulders. You honestly wouldn't mind another round of last night.

You sit on the stool in front of the kitchen island and fiddle with your bag to grab your phone. It was still pretty early, so it wasn't surprising to see no texts from either of the three. You were sure you were going to hear from Ryujin soon, and you were going to make sure you would be home by the time she called. Hopefully, at least. However, there was a text from an unknown number, and your heart slightly sank when you realized who it was.

[unknown number] 3:02am: had a lot of fun tonight. probably the best birthday yet. thanks cutie :) hope you got home safely.

Jungkook.

"Friends blowing up your phone?" He raises his eyebrow as he watches you stare at your phone. You slightly chuckle and tuck it aside, making a mental note to respond when you got home. Yup. This shit is messy already.

"Not exactly, thank God." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand. "Sorry about earlier, by the way."

"Sorry about having a bad dream? Y/N, don't worry about it."

"And thank you for letting me borrow your shirt and for cooking breakfast." Jin smiled as he began to plate your food. It was the little things that he appreciated, the little things like the way you said thank you for everything.

"Of course." He walks over to your side and puts the plate down in front of you. You raise yourself up a bit in order to kiss him on the lips, knowing you weren't gonna stop that kiss right away. "Your. food." He spits out in between kisses, making you laugh.

"Okay, okay." He chuckles as he sits next to you, digging into his own plate. The both of you start talking about plans for the day and week, with no mention of Grace even though you knew your alone time with Jin would come to an end. No discussion about what this was, or what you both intended for this to be, especially in the long run.

"Why don't you come and stay the night again?"

"I got some work to do." You pouted.

"Then bring it over."

"Bring it over and then what, get distracted by you all night?"

"Maybe." He smirked.

"Mmmm, we'll see." He pouts.

"Fine, I'll let you do your own thing." You chuckle.

"You're a baby."

"I just got you to myself." You shake your head and quietly poke at your food. Suddenly, you felt the need to ask the question. You were just dying to. Like.. what now? What happens when Grace comes back? Nothing? You didn't know what to expect, you should've known this couldn't be much with Grace being back soon.

"So." You poked at your eggs.

"Hm?" He continued to eat, his cute, bug eyes occasionally glancing at you.

"God, I really don't know how to ask this."

"Just ask, Y/N. It won't hurt." He gave you a small, reassuring toothless smile.

"So, what happens when Grace gets back?" He shrugged. Really? Just a shrug?

"Honestly, I don't know."

"Look, I know I can't ask for much right now but are we just going to continue living our own lives after all this? Are you just going to keep me here with Grace around too?"

"I know I can't promise anything but it's not my plan to keep both of you around like that. I'm going to talk to Grace because I just don't think this is working between us anymore."

"How are you so sure? What if Grace comes back and you realize how much you truly do love her?" You felt stupid for asking but you were also dying to know. Your thoughts were everywhere and right now, it felt like your mind was your biggest enemy. You really didn't know what to do, and part of you [majority of you, really] felt like this was completely and painfully temporary and that he was never going to leave her. He had no plans to. You were just filling this void.

You couldn't be mad at it though.

"Y/N, please don't worry about this, okay? I'll take care of it." You simply nodded, knowing you couldn't settle on this too quickly because you didn't even know what that meant. Maybe, this is what it was. Just this. You couldn't expect more. Besides, you still had Jungkook around. You didn't even know what you were trying to do with that either, cause he was fine as hell. A sweet soul too, with the way he handled you at the club, careful to not overstep boundaries and disrespect you in anyway.

Too bad you were too wrapped up in his stepbrother.

Obviously, these things were never easy.

"Okay." is all you say before you continue to finish up your food. Once finished, you do what you can to help clean up the dishes and the kitchen before changing back into your clothes so Jin can drop you at home.

On the way home, Jin has his hand on your thigh while you looked out the passenger's window. Last night replayed over and over in your head and you had to bite you bottom lip to prevent yourself from smiling too big.

"Oop." You say as you jump from the vibration of your phone. "Oh shoot."

"Everything okay?"

"It's just Ryujin, hang on." He nods silently. "Hello?"

"Girl, I'm hungover as fuck. Let's get coffee or walk around somewhere. I need fresh air."

"Sure, I'll be home in a minute, I can meet you up in the next hour or so."

"Where the hell did you go this early?"

"Run errands, workout." You lied. But did you really? You kind of did get a workout in early this morning.

"Run errands and workout after a late night at the club?" She snorted. "Okay. I guess we clearly handle the morning after way differently."

"Yeah, just wanted to avoid the crowd." You glance over at Jin, who's smiling and silently chuckling go himself.

"Mmmkay." She yawns. "Hey, did you ever get that guy's number? I forgot his name." You subtly roll your eyes because you know damn well she wasn't gonna try and make you say Jungkook's name right now. She was drunk as fuck and flirting with Jin's friends when you had given him your number. Of course she couldn't remember for the life of her.

"Yeah, he asked."

"What's his name though? It's bothering me, cause I feel like I knew it all night but now it's not coming to me."

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does, especially if you're planning to continue seeing him and throwing your pussy at him." You deeply sigh.

"Jungkook." You take another glance at Jin, but this time his smile had slightly faded. "Look, I'm about to get home, okay? Just text me where to meet you."

"Alrighty, we're continuing this conversation though. See you soon." And with that, the call ended. It was silent for a minute and you were unsure if you should apologize, or bring up the whole thing about Jungkook.

"Ryujin doing okay?" He asks, giving you a small smile. You simply nod and look back out the window without saying anything else. Maybe you both just didn't know how to approach the Jungkook thing. You sure as hell didn't, not around Jin.

You finally get to your apartment building, with Jin sending you off with a quick peck on the lips. You take a long, hot shower before hopping into some warmer and more decent clothes for your walk with Ryujin. You also had just remembered to text Jungkook back now that you were alone.

[y/n] 9:47am: sorry, had such a long night and knocked out. but yes, got home safely. i'm glad you had a great birthday. :)

[jungkook] 9:53am: she's up! goodmorning beautiful. hope you're still down for our date.

[jungkook] 9:54am: (sends picture of him laying down in a hoodie and glasses which makes you smile to yourself cause he's cute as fuck)

[y/n] 9:56am: of course i am. just let me know time and place.

[jungkook] 9:58am: time? yes. place? no. i'll keep it a surprise. :-) is it okay if i call you later?

[y/n] 10:02am: sure!

[jungkook] 10:03am: k, i'll talk to you later then. gotta run errands and stop by my brother's spot really quickly. have a good day today!

Whew, just imagine if you had run into him at Jin's house. What would you do then? Lie and tell him you came over for some homework help? Bitch, please.

The heavenly being above was on your team right now, but you knew that wouldn't last long with all this sinning.

After getting a good, quick shower in, you hurriedly got into your car and drove off to your destination, making it just on time to catch Ryujin stepping out of her car. She already has coffee for you, so you both start walking around Lake Merritt, revisiting last night's festivities and the fun you both had. The cold air was still nipping at your skin, cause you to rub your hand on your neck to try and provide some warmth. Suddenly, Ryujin grips your wrist and furrows her eyebrows at your neck.

"Y/N, what is that?" She points. Then it suddenly hits you - the hickeys Seokjin left on your neck. "Are those hickeys?!" She gasped.

Well, fuck.

"Keep your voice down." You say as you zip your jacket all the way up.

"Did you and Jungkook fuck last night? Is that where you actually were? You didn't run errands or go to the gym early this morning, did you? You actually just ended up going back home from his spot early this morning?" She threw questions left and right, her eyes wide and very suggestive.

"No, no! I didn't go home with Jungkook."

"So, did you guys do shit in the club or something? I'm confused, but also impressed if that's the case cause it's bold. I didn't know you got down like that, but I kind of like it." She pinched your side.

"No." She raises an eyebrow.

"Then why the fuck do you have hickeys on your neck? Who else could you have—" She stops in her tracks, hand over her mouth as she slowly approaches you again. "Y/N, who gave you those hickeys?" You simply look at her, your eyes already giving off the answer. "D-did you hook up with Seokjin?" She pulls out his first name, knowing 'Mr.Kim' was not appropriate for this matter.

"Yes."

[witcherslittledove]

May I request some knifeplay with a side of humiliation? Maybe Jaskier got himself caught and Geralt has to cut him free and picks up on how much he loves the knife? And gets off on how desperate he is for it?

@jaskiersbow I believe this was your prompt? If I remember rightly!

Just You Wait

Ship: Geraskier

Rating: E

CW: witcher potions, knifeplay, humiliation (minor namecalling really), butt plugs, anal sex, bondage, canon-typical violence (and death to unnamed characters), mentions of Jask/OCs, orgasm denial.

(I think that's all the warnings but let me know if I missed anything?)

Summary: Jaskier gets imprisoned as part of a spy mission and it's down to Geralt to rescue him, and well, they might as well take advantage of the chains whilst they're there.

AO3

Jaskier should be used to getting tied up. As a Redanian spy, or occasionally Temerian depending on his mood, he sometimes needed to get caught in order to obtain the information he needed. No one ever suspected the bard, and he had a particular talent for getting into trouble, namely a tendency to sleep with the wrong person’s spouse or child. This time was no different. A quick romp with the mayor’s wife, and then his daughter, had been enough to land Jaskier in jail. The poor man never even realised that Jaskier meant to get captured, and it hadn’t taken long for Jaskier to con the guards out of the information he needed. The only problem was that he was stuck, and the guards were enjoying using him as their personal punch bag. Little did they know that every hit, every movement that made his wrists pull against the shackles, jostled the plug that Jaskier had shoved up in arse before he’d been captured. So he was trapped, chained, and unbearably horny.

The best combination in his opinion.

And unfortunately for the guards, Jaskier’s husband was almost certainly on the way. That thought kept his spirits bright through every punch to the gut and face. His lips were split, he had almost certainly broken a few ribs, and he was struggling to open one eye, but that didn’t keep him from laughing. The guards had practically signed their own death warrants the moment they laid hands on him, and Jaskier happened to find it incredibly hot whenever his husband tore down half the Continent to keep him safe.

"Just you wait til my husband gets here," he whispered, his voice hoarse and cracked.

The guards looked at each other, giving Jaskier a reprieve from their brutal punches, and then they laughed. It didn’t matter though, Jaskier knew he would have the last laugh. The idiots were too busy howling to notice the sudden eerie silence in the prison, but Jaskier grinned, not looking up from the ground. A terrible scream tore through the room as a sword appeared in one of the guards stomach, blood shining in the candlelight.

Jaskier cackled. “I tried to warn you,” he sang, finally looking up to see his husband wrenching his sword from the dead guard, Geralt’s eyes were black as the night and a web of inky veins crept across the ghostly pale skin.

Geralt smirked, not bothering to wipe the blood from his sword. The second guard jumped to his feet, ready to fight but Geralt was faster. The sword flew through the air, slashing the guard's throat and he crumpled to the floor next to his companion. Jaskier cocked his head, licking his lips as he took in the bloody form of his husband, all scary face and sword raised.

Lowering the bloody weapon, Geralt cupped Jaskier’s cheek, making sure he was okay with a frantic sweep of his black eyes. It was kind of sweet really. Geralt was barely himself when he was high on the potions like this, and yet he cared so deeply that his first instinct was always to check that Jaskier was safe. And oh, how Jaskier adored him.

A low snarl rumbled in Geralt’s chest as his dark eyes took in the damage that had been done, but Jaskier just met his gaze, offering a smile. “I’m alright, dear heart,” he whispered, unable to take his eyes off Geralt.

"You're hurt," Geralt growled, scenting Jaskier, one hand gripped around his still shackled wrist.

"I'm fine," Jaskier sighed, pulling his husband into a kiss, the taste of their blood on his tongue. He’d never expected to enjoy the taste of blood, but combined with the thrill of the fight and the lingering sense of danger, he was weak. He whimpered, pulling at the shackles, wanting to be free, but first... he needed Geralt to take him like this. It was a drug, an addiction, and Jaskier was the addict. He let out a pitiful "please" against his husbands lips, desperate and aching as he was.

With the final reassurance, Geralt finally snapped, his sword gliding through the air, but Jaskier didn’t even flinch as he felt the kiss of steel grazing against his chest. Thankfully, his clothes were already ruined, otherwise Geralt would be buying him a new set, but the sound of fabric tearing and the sting of the sword scratching his skin made him feel heady. Jaskier licked the blood off his lips as he strained against the chains, but Geralt was faster, holding the sword at Jaskier’s throat with a low growl. Jaskier wasn’t scared, even though his husband was more animal than man at that moment, he trusted his husband.

And holy fuck…

He could barely catch his breath, too aroused, too dizzy, too lost in Geralt. Jaskier whimpered as the tip of Geralt’s blade nudged his chin up, forcing him to look into those midnight black eyes. Gorgeous, beautiful, obsidian eyes that haunted Jaskier's dreams. When Geralt pressed the sword harder, it cut into Jaskier's throat, not much, just enough to make him cry out. He whined pitifully, unreasonably turned on by the sharp pain. Geralt let out a low growl, and the sound sent a shiver down Jaskier's spine. The witcher’s voice was truly something else, like all of Jaskier’s wet dreams combined.

"Tell me, husband, how exactly did you get yourself arrested this time?"

Jaskier didn’t answer, too tongue-tied to form the words. They both know what he did, they might be married but Geralt had never expected Jaskier to be monogamous.

"Fucked the mayor's daughter," Jaskier admitted, gasping for breath as Geralt pressed the flat of the blade against his windpipe, "and his wife...."

And maybe his son... but Geralt didn’t need to know all the details.

Geralt snarled, the tip of his sword running through the thick hair on Jaskier's chest, dancing around Jaskier's nipples. "Is that what you do, whore yourself out in exchange for information?" Jaskier nodded, whimpering as the blade traveled further down towards his cock."I should have known I married a whore, that's all bards really are."

The witcher’s words were like fire in Jaskier’s veins, he was a whore, Geralt’s slut to use and abuse as he saw fit. He wanted that, needed that and he whined, pulling again at the chains. If he didn’t get Geralt's cock in him, blessed Melitele, he might in fact die…

"Geralt, please, I'll be good."

The sword clattered to the ground but Geralt already had a dagger ready, before Jaskier could even protest. They both knew he needed the extra incentive to stay quiet, even with no one left alive to hear them, it was just a part of the game they liked to play. Sometimes Geralt liked to gag him, but most of the time it was down to Jaskier to force himself to stay as quiet as possible.

“I don’t think “good” is in your vocabulary, bard,” Geralt said with a low snarl, biting at Jaskier’s bottom lip as he finally reached down to tease Jaskier's hole.

Jaskier laughed as he felt his husband’s fingers press against the plug, flicking his hair from his eyes as he leaned in for another kiss. "I told you I'd be good for you."

The witcher tugged at the plug, pulling it out in one swift movement, and Jaskier had to bite back a moan. It stung but dear gods... did it feel good. There was an aching emptiness at his core, as he felt the oil trickle down his bloody thighs, and he heard his own voice pleading, begging, beseeching. He needed to be filled, he needed it more than the air he breathed.

Thankfully, his husband was in a worse state than he was and it didn’t take Geralt long to slick up his cock, growling as he pushed inside Jaskier. The stretch burned slightly, the witcher’s cock larger than the plug Jaskier had prepped himself with. It felt like Geralt was fucking his very soul, and he couldn’t help but choke on his own cries as his husband pounded into him at a relentless pace, hitting his sweet spot with every thrust. Jaskier couldn’t even hold on, arms sore against the shackles that bound him to the wall.

Geralt’s teeth grazed against his neck, nipping sharply at the skin. The witcher’s low voice snarled and growled, whispering utter filth in Jaskier’s ear, but it wasn’t enough. He’d never been able to cum untouched, but Geralt was too lost in his own pleasure and Jaskier’s hands were still tied, leaving him teetering on the edge of an orgasm but never quite able to fall.

Before Jaskier could beg to be touched, Geralt came with a grunt, tearing the chains from the wall. They both tumbled to the floor in a heap, bloody and exhausted. The only remaining sounds were Jaskier’s quiet whimpers as he pressed his face into Geralt’s chest, his cock still hard and leaking, and yet still feeling strangely at peace in his husband’s arms.