#oh god. you know me. youre expecting a lot outta me huh.

[cabin-fever-collective]

sources are a weird ass thing im definitely canon compliant. very compliant. to the point ive scared some of our friends by acting accurate to shit we havent witnessed in source yet. but god damn being a fictive of a very well known fandom is so goddamn surreal. when i first showed up here- in our brain, in this world or whatever the hell you wanna call it- i was greeted with strangers saying hi, greeting me like an old friend. people i didnt know knew my name and things about me that i wasnt even sure of. made jokes about parts of my life that i didnt know anyone knew about. it fuckin threw me off. it still throws me off. people know me when i show my face. people talk to me familiarly or bring up my source. dont get me wrong its pretty sweet, if i hated it id just change my name or some shit. if i gave enough of a shit id hide who i am. but its a little surreal. by this point im so used to the expectation of people knowin me that it confuses me when they dont. and thats fucking weird isnt it. imagine walkin into some group of people and opening your mouth and everyone just goes 'oh hey dude'. youre sitting here racking your brain trying to find out where youve met all these people. how you couldve plausibly met all these people as they include you in the chat and you come up with nothin. you dont know em. but they know you. intricately. its damn weird. feels kinda like a pressure to be me. which isnt a bad thing i dont hate bein me, but. there are parts of me i know arent what they want of me. theres this underlying knowledge that theyre makin assumptions about me because of who i am and what they know. its like i can feel the cogs in their brain grease up and fire off with the knowledge we both know in our head. that youre expectin something of me and i know that aint me. im compliant but im not perfect. as fun as it is to have a well known source it also feels kinda fucked up. people expect a lot outta me and im just me. ill never stop bein just *me*. whether thats compliant or not isnt my problem, but i can *feel* the expectations and assumptions about me and my life. the jokes shot off by strangers. the comments about material i know about but man thats me. im just me. nothing more nothing less. im just a guy. a kid doin his best out here. i dont know how i feel about being 'famous'.

[satorena]

✮⋆˙ PUSSY FAIRY ON THE WAY !?

featuring. g. suguru x fem!reader

warnings. explicit content, mutual masturbation, lots of dirty talk, fwb!reader, phone sex, fingering, squirting, reader has a vagina and tattoos on her fingers.

rena’s note. based off the line “i touch myself just thinking about you” 🌬️

11:45pm: *2 photo attachments*

11:45pm: missin’ my pretty girl

it was almost painfully embarrassing how easily aroused two simple pictures could get you. it didn’t take much for your cotton panties beneath your oversized tee to get damp with slick, squeezing your thighs together to stimulate some sort of friction.

you stared for god knows how long at your phone screen, the bright light illuminating a mean and girthy dick you’re all too well accustomed to. its brown tip raging red and leaking pre come you’d familiarize yourself with. the bulging veins on the underside of his shaft peeked through sensitive skin, mimicking the veins on the owner’s hands and wrists.

simple details on the man, such as rings and bracelets and beauty marks and an oozing tip, had you licking the tip of your fingers before slipping them past your panties, meeting your bare pussy, flinching at the contact and chilly breeze of your bedroom.

“fuck,” you sighed, head thrown back into the pillow. you performed circles at your clit, teasing yourself with your light touches.

this was exactly how suguru had his way with you. he took his time—though he preferred using his tongue but that wasn’t exactly an option as of right now— by thumbing at your clit and watching you unravel and crumble at his touch.

you mimicked your thoughts, the attention at your bundle of nerves sending blissful shockwaves throughout your limbs. your thighs squeezed together from the pleasure, and you recalled that suguru would have forced them open and made you take it like the good girl you are.

your hole clenched around nothing, desperate to be filled with what couldn’t be provided at the moment. soft whines came out your throat while you ground your hips up, subconsciously chasing your own hand in need of more pressure.

so lost in yourself, your screen dimmed, noting it would soon shut off, before pinging once more at a newer notification.

11:49pm: left on read huh…

11:50pm: don’t tell me you’ve started without me mama?

you don’t even bother trying to reply, knowing he would ring up your line in a few. good, you could use his voice in your ears while getting off, after all— suguru had officially ruined you for anybody else.

as expected, your phone buzzed in your hand and you swiped the call eagerly, pressing it on speaker before resting it on your chest.

“suguuu,” you greet him, bottom lip stuck in between your teeth. your other hand goes to slip under your tee, and grasp at your bare chest, groping firmly at the tender mound.

“you kept me waiting,” he chuckles, though you notice it’s breathy, as if forcing it out. you hear shuffling, and he heaves out a sigh, “missed you, pretty.”

“mhmm, missed you more,” you intensify the pace on your clit, fuzzy sock-cladded toes curling from the building pleasure. “need you here, sugu,”

you mewl his name, the nickname rolling off your pink tongue and into your phone speaker. the neediness behind your tone had him groaning, cursing out a ‘fuck’ and suddenly the sound of fapping grew consistent.

“oh yeah?” he tries, tries, to come off cocky but he’s just as needy as you are. perhaps even more, as the hold on his cock tightens. “tell me more baby. what else?”

you figure it’s finally time to focus your attention on your folds, which had soaked up your cunt and sheets beneath you the minute he called. your index and middle finger graze at your lips, and you whine at the sensitivity.

“want you here,” you moan, rubbing figure eights at your your folds. you stimulate your cunt in a familiar pattern, the same way suguru always worked on you. “w-want your fingers deep in my pussy, fuckin’ me open and—hah, making a mess outta me—need it suguru!”

“shit baby,” he chuckles, though muffled, as you fail to notice he’s got the hem of his wife beater tucked in between his teeth. “want me to tell you what i’d do to you if we were together?”

“yes!” you beg, unashamed as your back arches off the surface of your bed. your limbs felt liquified and there was something about his voice that had your pussy glistening terribly.

“mm, well,” he begins, his thumb grazing over his slit as he pictured you doing a million times. “i’d start off with kisses at your thighs. y’love it whenever i bite, dont’cha? love it when i mark you as mine, hm?”

you nod your head, despite the fact he can’t see. “always sugu, feels so good!”

“and when i get sick of teasing myself, i’d push your panties to the side and kiss your pretty clit,” geto sighs, almost in a trance by his own words. they roll of his tongue so naturally, stomach clenching as he imagines the things he’d do to you if he was able to.

“kiss your pretty clit before playing with it. i know it drives you—fuck—crazy. yeah, it drives you crazy and you love to act like you hate being teased, but baby, your pussy tells me otherwise,”

he spoke so sinfully in your ears, soft voice being a major contrast to the intense words that left his mouth. it churned deep in your guts, sending butterflies with a mix of straight arousal.

“i do— fuckin’ love it—” you cut yourself off, the hand on your breast tweaking with the stiff bud, twisting and pinching at it.

“you fingering yourself yet?” he asks you, and you shake your head, humming a soft ‘uhn uhn’, he continues, upping the pace of his own jerking, “good girl—get your tatted fingers in f’me, wanna hear your pretty pussy speak to me.”

“o-okay” you comply to his order, easing the void of emptiness by sliding your middle and ring finger inside your clenching pussy.

you moan loudly at the intrusion, the stretch nothing close to suguru’s fingers, but still enough to satisfy you for the time being. you feel your soft walls clench around your digits, begging for more. at the wet squelch of your cunt, you hear geto chuckle through the phone, “there we go, my favorite language.”

“wish you were here sugu—hnng, need you here and—and takin’ care of me!” you voice out your thoughts, your fingers gradually picking up their pace and plowing in your insides.

“sugu’s being mean, isn’t he? ‘m sorry baby, for not doin’ my—shit—job,” geto apologizes, the sound of his lubricated cock being jerked resonating in the depths of your ear drums.

“match my rhythm, mama,” he instructs you to follow, and despite you being so deep in your own thoughts and moans, you focus on the faint sound of his fist chafing his dick.

and so, your fingers plunge in and out your wet core, pussy gushing slickness, just to please geto.

“that’s it—my good girl, mmh, always doin’ so perfect.”

his praises did wonders to your body, as you felt an oncoming orgasm approach. your gut heated and tightened into a familiar coil, and your thighs threatened to close in on your hands.

“sugu, baby, ‘m getting close!” you warn him, now roughly grabbing at your other boob that lacked attention.

“me too, pretty girl—me too,” he grunts, the pace of his jerking increasing greatly. he works up and down his length with two hands and purpose, breathing heavily and watching his abdomen contracting tightly.

“play with your clit,” suguru breathes out, a whine escaping his throat momentarily. you moan at the unexpected sound, and he continues, “please baby—play with your clit f’me”

he begged and fuck, you’d never felt yourself be so attracted to his voice the way you did right now.

“feels’good” you slur, drool pooling at the corner of your parted lips. you multitasked with toying at your puffy clit with scissoring your cave, the drag of your fingers and stimulation of your bundle of nerves opening the dam.

“cummin’ sugu—hnng, fuck, oh fuck!” you cry out, far too loud as you release on your hand. your juices spill and you drip down to the crack of your ass, down to the sheets, soaking up your panties and mattress.

you continue to fuck yourself as best as you could despite your body jerking at the sensitivity, thighs quaking and back arched off the bed.

“r-right behind ya princess—oh fuck y/n” you hear his voice break as he shoots his load onto himself, his pretty moans all in your ears. he sounded melodic, your name belonging on his tongue as it sends tingles all over your nerves.

after a few minutes, your high comes down, and you slowly pull your fingers out of your pussy, wincing at the contact. geto’s gone quiet, safe for the panting on the other side of the phone, most likely attempting to ground himself from his own orgasm.

you clench your thighs and jolt at the sensitivity. your skin felt clammy and sticky with your arousal, and your bedroom now smelled of your sex. you miss suguru’s scent, and how much differently your sheets would’ve smelt with him in it.

“taste yourself for me,” suguru speaks up, breathless.

you do as he says, bringing your fingers up and wrapping your plump lips around your digits. you moan softly, before giggling cutely when you hear the man groaning in desperation.

“quit makin’ me jealous,” he sighs, the words almost coming out like a whine. “nothin’ gets sweeter than your pussy, swear on everything.”

you can only think of a simple solution for his complaints. you shrug, popping your lips off your soaked hand, “pull up on me then.”

the line goes quiet for a bit, and you can practically hear the arrogant smirk on his face, which only makes your lips tug into a similar smile.

“your fine ass better be ready for me in ten.”

mind you this is a canon moment between me & him 🫦

[dckweed]

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

hello my loves! its been a bit but here we go! here's part five! please know that i am also open to drabble requests for this series! my inbox is open!

series masterlist, series playlist

PART FIVE: the ring and the church pews 

Saturday morning came round sooner than you would have liked it to, you had for once slept so well curled up into Gator’s side subconsciously that you didn’t want to get up, you wanted to bask in the well rested sleepiness of the darkness of his room, curtains drawn tight and his warm body and comforter surrounding you, but his sisters had other plans. The alarm clock had barely struck seven when his bedroom door was being flung open, feet pattering across the carpet. 

“Oh my god, Maude it’s not gross in here..” You heard Jessica whisper, though it was the loudest whisper you’d ever heard in your life. “There’s no boxers all over the floor..or stinky socks..she’s like Mary Poppins!” 

You snort at the comparison, having already been awake and raise your head so your chin is resting on Gator’s hard, toned stomach, looking at them through the dim light streaming in from the hallway. Gator was still snoring and you couldn’t have been bothered to lift yourself all the way up. “Whatcha need girls?” You ask, voice thick with sleepiness still. One of the twins jumps at the sound of your voice, not having expected you to be awake you assume. “You want breakfast?”

Maude, you think nods her head quickly and you barely see it. She must be the shy one, you realize. “We didn’t think you were awake yet..mama doesn’t let us in the kitchen alone,” She says, still in her pink pajama set. “Says we might burn the house down..thought we’d wake up Gator..” 

You hum, already sitting up some as Gator still snores beside you. “I’m already up, might as well get you two fed, huh?” You scoot gently down to the end of the bed, your feet not even touching the ground when you throw your legs over the edge. “Got a long day ahead of us trying on dresses..” 

The girls follow you out of the room, excitedly talking about the bridal shop and how they’d never been to one. You shut the door once they’re out of it, closing it gently to let Gator stay asleep before you follow them down the stairs. “French toast sound good?” You had made Gator buy the big thick bread yesterday at the store, and cinnamon creamer to soak it in to absorb the flavor. 

The smell of cooking food and brewing coffee fills the house, the sounds of bacon sizzling in a frying pan and cartoons on the television in the living room accompanied by giggles from two girls made you feel so calm and content, as if you were home. Something about it reminded you of weekend mornings with your mom before she married Boyd, before life as you had known it (happy and loving) had been snatched from you, replaced with cold, calm and collected, emptiness. 

You smile as a particularly fond memory of your mother making you breakfast plays in your mind, not hearing the shuffling steps into the kitchen, or the large, warm body behind you until his thick bicep is draped around you. “Whatcha makin’?” His voice is thick with sleep, his words followed by a yawn. You damn near drop the hot spatula you’re holding, heart racing. “Damn, you okay?” 

“Scared the shit outta me, Gator!” You half heartedly yell, glancing behind you with narrowed eyes. “I’m makin’ breakfast whats it look like dummy?” He rolls his eyes at you and nudges you out of his way, reaching up into the cabinet to grab a coffee mug from the top shelf. You don’t notice him grab two of them until he’s handing one to you, filled with coffee and a bit of creamer. “Thank you..”  You say, taking a sip. 

He hums in response, leaning against the counter next to you as you cook. “Girls bein’ a menace?” He asks, eyes trained on the living room doorway. You shake your head no, and he hums again, taking a long drink off of his mug before putting an electric vape to his lips. You scrunch your face in disgust and thankfully he doesn’t see it. “Ready for dress shopping?”

“Absolutely!” You say, face lighting up. “Boyd is bringing Tori and Lucy to the boutique so they can try on their dresses with your sisters while i look around for a gown..” You plate the bacon that had finished frying, carrying it off to the table. You don’t notice him following you with the plate of french toast in his free hand. “Gonna run his damn amex sky high today,” You giggle, thinking about it. It was truly your only form of revenge currently and you were just dying at the thought of what todays price tag is going to be. 

“‘atta  girl!” Gator drawls, going to corral his sisters to sit down for breakfast. 

The boutique is quaint but has a seemingly massive selection of gowns, you and the girls spend nearly two hours picking out dresses for them and while they’re trying them on (and showing them to Gator, keeping him too distracted to follow right along with you and your step-father), you’re in a different part of the store, picking out wedding dress options. Boyd is tailing you, making sure you’re picking out options that are suitable enough, he had a reputation to up-keek around town and wouldn’t let you spend his money on something outrageous looking, and when he’s satisfied with the pile you’ve gathered with his approval he turns on his heel with an order to bring your sisters home when you’re finished for the day before disappearing from the store. 

You breathe a sigh of relief, turning unhappily to the stack of dresses you had been left to choose from when you hear Gator. “You four all look pretty, how could I ever decide..” And you giggle because it was very obvious to you that he had stopped paying attention a while ago and was just appeasing them. The girls go back into their dressing rooms and your fiance turns to look at you, smile tugging at his lips before he starts heading towards you. He had been tense ever since Boyd decided to hang around, it was weird to see him suddenly relaxed as soon as he had left. “I’m gonna step out for a bit, go get coffee for us..” He says, giving you a kiss on the cheek which you assume is just for show to the person helping you with the dresses (it would look weird if you guys didn’t act in love as an engaged couple). You smile and nod, watching him go before turning back to the shop attendant. 

“Thank god, i was trying to think of a way to get him out of here so he wouldn’t see the dresses..” You laugh before following the woman into a large, empty dressing room. They may not have been dresses that you absolutely loved, but they were expensive none the less and you were bound determined to rack up a bill on the amex card. 

You don’t even realize that over an hour passes before you see Gator again, trying on and viewing several different dresses with the girls, whom all ooh’ed and ahh’ed over the white gowns that had been chosen. You were absolutely stuck on and surprisingly in love with one of the more expensive dresses (a win-win situation you supposed); a simple ivory satin gown that hugged your figure, but flared out loosely past your knees. It was a mermaid silhouette, without being completely tight down to your feet, it was perfectly simple and elegant all at the same time. The shoulder straps were made from genuine pearls, something you were certain aided in the price being so high that you got a little nervous looking at price tag. It looked stunning on you, and it needed minimal tailoring. 

You were just slipping back into your jean shorts and tshirt (why would you need to dress nice to go dress shopping?), telling the attendant that that would be what you were going to purchase the gown when the bell above the front door rang and the girls shouted “Gator!”. 

“Where’s Pearl?” You hear, and stick your head out of the dressing room, trying to pull your shorts on. “Oh, I’ll be right back girls..” He walks over towards the dressing room, and expecting him to stay outside, you pop your head back in, finishing buttoning your bottoms before slipping your sandals back on. 

“What too-” You start to ask, turning around. You’re greeted with his chest, not having noticed he had following you into the room and was standing right behind you. “Jesus Christ, Gator!” 

He narrows his eyes at you. “Don’t take the lords name in vain, baby..” He says with complete seriousness to the pint that you’re about to apologize when he speaks again. “I, uh..walked by a jewelry store on my way to the coffee shop, and I..realized that you’re kind of missing an important part of being engaged..” You furrow your brows at him, confused until he pulls a small black box from behind his back. “We’re going to Church tomorrow, and people are gonna ask if you don’t have one..” 

“Gator, I-” He puts a finger over your mouth to shush you, shaking his head at you. He opens the box and your eyes widen, tears welling up in your eyes. It was fucking beautiful, and probably fucking expensive, he spent all that money on a piece of jewelry for you and he barely even knew you. “Oh my god..” You breathed. “It’s beautiful..” 

Gator tsk’s at you, shaking his head. “Again with the takin’ his name in vain..” He’s being playful, you know and you can’t help but smack his chest lightly, glad that this is happening in somewhat privacy. “It’s almost two carats..whatever the fuck that means..thought you might like it because it’s real simple, you know?”

And you truly did. It was an oval cut diamond, set by itself on a simple gold band. It was absolutely gorgeous and even in the lighting of the dressing room it was absolutely sparkling. “Gator..” You look up at him as he takes your left hand in his, slipping the ring onto your ring finger. “Thank you..” You whisper, pushing up on your tiptoes to leave a lingering kiss to his cheek. 

“There..now it looks more legit..” He says, skin flushing where your lips had touched him. The moment is sweet and tender, and probably would have ended in the two of you kissing properly for the first time had your sisters’ voices not echoed in from outside. 

“Pearl! We’re hungry!” 

Gator has to pull you out of bed by your feet come Sunday morning, grumpily telling you to get your ass in gear and get a move on. Church started at 9, and you weren’t even out of bed yet at 8. You hadn’t been to church since your mother passed away, the last time you stepped foot inside of one was the day of her funeral when you and Boyd and the girls had gathered in the first pew with all of his friends and family behind you guys to talk about her and view her one last time before they would put her in the ground. You hadn’t particularly been looking forward to this part of the weekend, but it was one of the few things Gator had asked of you and you felt obligated to oblige, especially now that you were wearing what you were sure as an expensive diamond on your finger (he refused to tell you the price). 

Within fifteen minutes you’ve brushed out your hair, leaving it to hang below your shoulders as you slip on a yellow sundress. “Gator!” You holler from his bedroom, your suitcase thrown open on the floor as you danced around awkwardly in the middle of the room, one arm turned around behind you and the other reached over your shoulder as you tried to pull the zipper up on the back of your dress. “Gator!” You yell again, frustrated. 

You hear his heavy footsteps come stomping up the stairs and then the door creaking open. “The fuck are you doin’?!” He asks from the doorway, hands on his hips as he watches you do an awkward little dance in the middle of his room. You stomp one of your feet and mumble about how you can’t get the damned zipper to go up before he sighs and steps into the room to help you. “Stop squirmin’!” He smacks your shoulder lightly, trying to get you to stand still as he comes up behind you, one hand on your lower back, the other fingering the culprit of your frustration. He pulls it up with little effort his hands going up to your shoulders, rubbing them absentmindedly once he’s got it all the way closed. “Need’ta get goin’, gonna be late..” He murmurs, large hands massaging your shoulders. You hum at his words, leaning back against him a little sleepily, wanting to stand like that all day with him until Jessica comes into the room, asking if you thought her shoe’s matched her dress. 

The church is beautiful, old pews and hand stained windows with sunlight filtering through, you bask in the different colors being thrown off as the pastor gives his sermon, not paying attention to a damn bit of it. You focus mostly on the man next to you, his hand on your thigh in what some people would call an inappropriate manner as he listened intently to what was being spoken. He would lean towards his sisters every now and then, eyes never leaving the preacher as he asked them softly if they were following along or if they needed him to explain what the pastor might mean later. When the pastor was done, and the whole congregation had sung hymns that you honestly couldn’t believe you still remembered, you stood with Gator in the pew that he had chosen for you guys, shaking hands and greeting awestruck and disbelieving faces of people. 

“Hon, this is Coach Deans,” Gator says, a big proud smile on his face that made him look oh so beautifully handsome in that moment as he greeted the man with a hug and more warmth than you’d ever seen him give to his own father in the short time you’d known him. “My football coach all through highschool!” 

You smile graciously and take the mans hand, he catches your left in his own, inspecting the ring adorning your finger. “I have to say Gator, i thought the rumor going around town was just that..a rumor..” The man says, a big smile on his face. “Never thought I’d see the day..” He shakes his head and you wonder what the man means by that, but don’t ask, not wanting to interrupt their conversation. You leave Gator’s side for a brief moment, busying yourself with the girls and their small group of friends from other church going kids when you hear the question. “When’s the engagement party?” 

You and Gator share a look of absolute confusion, what the fuck is an engagement party? You both questioned silently, you shrug your shoulders and he gives a small shake of his head before turning back to his coach. 

You sigh, pulling your phone out to google what exactly an engagement party was and damn near start to cry in the middle of the church pews when you realize its yet another event for you plan alongside your quickly upcoming wedding. 

The two of you talk about it later that night in his room, you in his desk chair, head in your hands as he sprawls across the bed, nothing on but a white wife beater and some boxer shorts. The girls had gone to bed hours ago, and you guys had stayed up to plan an engagement party. “You’d think Boyd would have planned all this, or your father seeing as all of this is their doing anyway.” You pout, arms crossed over your chest as you stand up, overwhelmed with the details of everything that you had to do in the next few weeks. 

Gator makes a hum of agreement, eyes on the ceiling as you move about the room, finding yourself in front of the shelf that had the photos from his childhood on it, the ones with two different women in them and you just can’t help yourself anymore, you blurt out the question that had been plaguing you all weekend. “Gator?” He hums again  from his spot on the bed behind you, and you take the leap. “Who are these women in your photos?” He doesn’t answer for a while, and when you turn around you see he’s sitting up in the middle of the bed, legs pulled to his chest. He had a look on his face that you couldn’t decipher, a mix of pain and sadness and..anger. You’re about to tell him never mind, that you didn’t mean to overstep boundaries when he finally answers. 

“My mama,” He says so softly you think that you’re having auditory hallucinations. You see him swallow before he looks at you, pulling his legs closer to himself, as if he’s protecting something. “On the left..my actual mama..she..died, according to my dad.” He says, voice thick with whatever he’s feeling. “And on the right, Nadine..” You want to ask more, but don’t push him, you can tell it’s emotional for him and you didn’t want him to feel obligated to tell you about his childhood just because you were curious. “Sometimes i wish Nadine had been my actual Mama..she was better at it than she was..” A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips, and he looks up at you. “You remind me a lot of her y’know? Sh’woulda liked you alot..”

taglist:

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[raineandsky]

This is a epilogue to a lil project of mine - loving titled Around the World in 80 Cafes :)

-

Crow arrives in the village, accidentally, under the cover of darkness. His client has made his rounds of the lands a lot more hurriedly than he’d expected, and the opportunity to get the hell away from him as soon as possible was not an opportunity lost on Crow.

“Everyone’s favourite mercenary’s back early,” the guard, Phive, comments from the walkway as he reaches the top of the ladder. Her job’s been rendered a little obsolete since Norveticus brought his family’s little empire to the ground, but she seems more than happy to stand here, with nothing to do, at one in the morning. “Good run?”

“Was a’ight.” He waves her off with a gruff laugh. “Pays just enough to deal with the nobility that comes with the job.”

Phive snorts, gesturing down the walkway with her spear. “Speakin’ of, I think your noble’s been anxious for you to get back. He’s been stress-bakin’ for, like, four days.”

Crow frowns suspiciously. “He's a cook, Phive. He doesn’t bake.”

“Exactly.” Phive grins. “You should get outta town more often. He’s good at it, and it’s usually me that gets first pick of whatever he’s makin’.”

Crow rolls his eyes as Phive laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He pauses in front of his house. It feels strange to think—his house. He spent so long flitting between the houses here in his youth; whoever had the space, had the energy for him. Now here he is, standing outside a house he can actually call home. It’s a strange feeling, and not one he hates.

It smells delicious inside, as always, and he can see what Phive was talking about. It’s definitely the aroma of baking—sweet, a little less intense than usual, and concerningly strong for one in the morning. He can see that the kitchen light’s on from here. He can’t be worried enough to be up at this time, surely.

The culprit of the smell is sitting on the kitchen counter. A cake of some sort, by the looks of it, but not one he’s seen before. The kitchen’s empty though, thankfully, so after a second to marvel at the treat he’s back on his way.

He doesn’t find Norveticus where he expected to; he’s neither in the kitchen or the bedroom, where Crow was mostly hoping he’d be, but instead in the living room. Crow comes across him on the sofa, his arm left hanging over the side and a book dropped heartlessly on the floor. He carefully picks the book up, giving it a onceover—it’s Norveticus’s own cookbook, nothing he hasn’t read a thousand times—before laying it on the table nearby.

He squats down near his face, simply content to admire Norveticus for a moment. He seems so peaceful like this, blissfully unbothered. The light from outside dances over his face, his hair a little ruffled from his obviously unintentional nap. He’s unfairly pretty, as always, and Crow didn’t realise how much he missed him until now.

He knows Norveticus will find something to worry about the moment he wakes up, so he just quietly takes in the view before giving him a light nudge.

Norveticus stirs, kind of. He clearly has no intention to wake up. “Angel,” Crow whispers.

Norveticus makes some halfhearted noise that sounds vaguely like “huh?”

Crow can’t help but laugh a little. He ghosts a hand over Norveticus’s face, his thumb brushing idly against his cheek as he finally opens his eyes. “I’m home, Norv.”

Norveticus stares at him in a blank half-squint for a long moment. Then it suddenly seems to click what he’s seeing—he bolts upright, his eyes wide, his mouth working to probably try and say several things at once.

“Hey,” Crow says plainly, an unavoidable grin working its way onto his face, and the single word seems to break Norveticus out of his stupor.

“Oh my god, Crow!” He throws his arms around Crow’s neck, half-dragging him onto the sofa with him. “You’re back—” Norveticus pulls away rather suddenly to hold him at arm’s length, a frown adorning his face. “… early.”

“Don’t worry,” he says quickly. “The job just finished earlier than we expected.”

Norveticus lets go of him quickly, a disappointed frown on his face. “But I had everything planned,” he whines. His gaze slides past Crow and to the kitchen. “I was going to do this big thing for when you came back. I was going to make that pie you said you liked, and I wanted to get you some flowers and I was going to get Hettie to make another cloak and—”

“Norv,” Crow interjects exasperatedly. He gently takes Norveticus’s face in his hands, like he needs some sense talking into him. “I don’t need a big thing. I came home because I wanted to be with you, okay?”

Norveticus huffs. “Can I at least still make the pie?”

“I’m not stopping you from making anything.” Crow snorts at the slight scowl on Norveticus’s face. “Phive tells me you’re a baker now, anyway.”

There’s a half second where Norveticus looks like he’s about to delve in to explain the exact things he’s been making—a common occurrence, and music to Crow’s ears—before he leaps out of Crow’s hold and to his feet.

“My cake!” he cries. Crow slowly gets back to his feet as Norveticus beelines for the kitchen. “God, I didn’t mean to go to sleep—it’s ruined.”

Crow lingers in the doorway as Norveticus flutters nervously over the perfectly fine-looking cake on the counter. “It looks a’ight to me,” he offers simply, “and it smells pretty good.”

“Smell and taste and entirely separate experiences, Scarlet Crow,” Norveticus says matter-of-factly. “It may smell like a god has made this, but I can assure you the texture will be absolutely vile. I was meant to put it in the ice box, like, two hours ago.”

“Did you seriously just drop my full mercenary name to explain food to me?”

“Yes,” he says flatly. He gives the cake a poke for good measure, his nose wrinkling slightly when it wobbles. “I am the culinary expert here, and I’m telling you that it will taste bad.”

“I don’t believe you.” Crow’s already rooting through the drawer for a fork. “You wanted to have something ready for when I got back, right? Let me try it.”

Norveticus seems to go through the five stages of grief in half a second. “Crow, I wanted to have something edible for when you got back. This will probably kill you.”

“I’d like to see it try.” He reaches for the cake, only stopped when Norveticus tries to block him. Crow tries to nudge him out the way but he’s goddamn stubborn. Nothing particularly new. 

Norveticus grabs his arm to try and stop him and Crow wriggles theatrically in his grip, making another stab for his prize.

“Crow!” Norveticus yelps with a laugh. “Stop!”

The two of them wrestle for a moment before Crow finally manages to tear a bit of cake with his fork. Norveticus notices a second too late, and Crow shoves it in his mouth before the other can stop him.

For a moment, all Crow can feel is victory. Then surprise. Then overwhelming disappointment. Then, like the cherry on top of the cake, acute defeat.

Norveticus watches this cycle of emotions blankly, like he was expecting nothing less.

It takes Crow a second too long to talk around the dough sticking to the roof of his mouth. “It’s… it’s really good,” he chokes out.

“You’re a horrendous liar, Crow.”

“Divine.”

“You’ve never called anything divine in your life.”

Keeping his face passive is almost impossible with the cake practically attacking him from the inside. Norveticus was, tragically, right—the dough clumps and glues to anything it touches. The taste wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t burning itself into every inch in his mouth. 

He swallows it, finally, and it’s equally a relief to have it gone and abysmal going down.

“Welcome home,” Norveticus says flatly.

Crow hums a laugh, planting a soft kiss on the top of his head. “Glad to be here, angel.”

Norveticus smiles pleasantly before a yawn forces its way through. Crow laughs lightly. “D’you wanna head back to bed?” he adds after a moment.

“Ugh, please.” Norveticus grabs his hand and drags him from the kitchen. “But only if you come to bed with me.”

Crow stops him in the doorway to the bedroom, pulling him in for a kiss. It’s short, sweet, frankly atrocious-tasting with that cake still lingering in his mouth—but it’s a kiss all the same, and Crow’s been craving one whether it tastes bad or not.

Norveticus pulls away from him after a moment, his eyes drifting over Crow’s face for a moment. “I missed you,” he whispers into the quiet.

Crow sighs contentedly. “And I missed you, angel.”

Norveticus smiles at that, and it’s so bright and warm that Crow might as well be staring into the brilliance of the sun. 

[totaldramafan-lauri]

First Impressions part 6

PROMISE ME IT’S GONNA BE ALRIGHT, WHOA, OH-

Georgia

They’re still here, huh.....Wonder how long before they qualify again, pfffff.....

Choir and drums!? OK, I’m interested! O__O

Other songs are doing similar to this, but I’m still liking it so far!

I wish I had more to say about this......um, the chorus is nice and big

This is probably the best entry Georgia’s sent since......geez, “Keep The Faith”? I’m not blown away, but I’m impressed! They’re trying for sure! O__O  What a GRAND song! Potential grower!

Better than last year?: Yes, but not by a LOT cuz of how memorable Circus Mircus were

San Marino

Another rock song!? That’s two in a row from them!

Do I like it more than the Slovenian song tho....? Let’s see.....

I like the vocals.....and it’s bouncy.....

Y’know what? I’d say it’s pretty close....I’m gonna have to listen to them back-to-back XD

This is fun! Nothing more to say! It’s yet another song with energy and a nice beat! The best kind of rock

Ooooooh, nice ending. Good departure from the abrupt ones XD

Uhhhh....yeah, good, solid song from San Marino! Dunno how well it’ll go over, but I liked it

Better than last year?: Definitely yes. The much better song, altho “Stripper” had fun staging. Will this one? We’ll see.....It seems this song’s more serious

Austria

Um.......what the heck is that title?

I’m expecting an explanation quickly. You don’t title your song something like that for no reason

WHAT-

OK, DO CONTINUE-

This is a CONCEPT

Y’know what? I’ll stop typing and listen. Entertain me

*a bit later* What am I listening to? XD

This is something you CANNOT prepare for- This is the “Eat Your Veggies” of the year-

I-it’s fun, but um......WHY XD

It’s....memorable, that’s for sure! O__O

No but seriously, I’ve read Edgar Allen Poe’s work in middle school and it hurt my brain just as much as this song did, so......i-it tracks.....I guess....?

.......S-seriously, what

Better than last year?: NO!

Albania

Right away, this sounds like......an Albanian entry

OK, it’s getting more interesting

It’s less out there than last year’s, but I like it more. It’s got more actual singing

I wouldn’t say I love it, but it’s a potential grower that I definitely like right now. It just.....sounds a BIT like I’d expect from Albania, but a BIT stronger

Better than last year?: Yes

Lithuania

A Eurovision entry named “Stay”? You got a BIG act to follow for me....

More Lithuanian? Cool! .....Nevermind, it’s in English

Another ballad, huh?

“My heart is bleeding....I need your healing...” OK, maybe there’s something for me here-

OK, it picked up! I like this now! If I had to say, I’d call this comparatively toward the bottom of my ranking with how strong the competition is tho

But the lyrics are good.....and I like the drum part....It’s not bad

I need to be healed.....I need your healing.....

(Gosh, multiple of my interests are being pandered to this contest....Strange...)

Better than last year?: About the same....? Maaaaybe a slight no....?

Australia

Finally....the rulers of Why Are You Still Here

......These lyrics sound like clickbait in song form- *shot*

OK, it was just the first verse XD

WGHOAESGFDG CHORUS HELLO-

OH MY GOD

HOLY CRAP

IT’S GONNA BE ALRIGHT!!!!

OK, HOW DO WORDS, I LITERALLY CANNOT, I DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING

WHY IS IT METAL NOW, HELP

I PROMISE, I PROMISE, I PROMISE IT’S ALRIGHT, OK

JUST DON’T STOP, DON’T STOP!!!!

THAT FLIPPING INSTRUMENTAL!!!!!

IT’S ALRIGHT!!!!!  ALRIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!

I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE THE CLICKBAIT COMMENT BACK

It’s over!? NOOOOOOOO-

.........

...........

I have no idea WHAT THE HECK I just listened to, I just know that it was INCREDIBLE.....a-and I need to listen to it again but I can’t-

OK, this is just NARROWLY my new favorite, neck-and-neck with Finland, I’m gonna need to listen to both of them more to make my decision

But even tho both songs b-blindsided me in the best way, th-this one got the bigger r-REACTION outta me, so I’m gonna give it the s-slight edge

H-holy c-crap.....on a stick, what the HECK......@___@

Better than last year? YES!!!!!! (Altho they were still really good last year)

[tsuki-sennin]

Don Don! Donbrothers! All together as one! For a (technically) one hour special! The music? Bumpin'. The venue? Jirou's home village. The people invited? Everybody. The Sentai? Quite super. The guest of honor? You, of course! You know the Spoilers, I guess... spiel, right?

Alright, no more time to waste~!

So let's get the party started~!

-Well, we're all friends now!

-Tsubasa-san! Welcome to the team! Officially!

-Inu-san~!

-I sure hope they keep that little doggo plush around, it's practically part of the family.

-Ahhhhhh, looks like Shiina Naoki's caught Tsubasa's interest.

-...to be fair, both he and Sononi almost died protecting her.

-"It's all in the book."

-Goddamn Haruka, what did you find?

-God, I'm gonna miss attempting to dance and sing along to this banger-ass opening <3

-Alright assholes!

-Kaka Village?

-Ohhhhh, Tsubasa's learned something.

-Oh, Tsuyoshi. I kinda forgot about you for a sec.

-...which is horrifying, you're absolutely not someone I should let slip my notice.

-She disappeared!

-She's alive!

-Juuto!

-I just love the idea that Haruka and Shinichi are just off to the side where.

-It's basically that one meme. I forget the origin, but it goes like

"Other legends: *fighting*

Lugia and Ho-Oh: Off to the corner, holding a couple beers as Lugia looks confuzzled."

-You'll find it, don't worry about it.

-Oh Tsuyoshi.

-Shinichi, I don't think Tsubasa wants to hear about falling snow after what happened last episode.

-Goddamn, Crane Lady's badass.

-"What in tarnation?"

-A bunch of stray cats trying to pounce on a bird? Sounds about right.

-"It's your clan's fault for creating us."

-Guess Tarou recognizes the dishonesty in

-Goddamn Crane Lady, you're real menacing.

-Oi, you keep that moon talk outta your mouth. Taro's boyfriend

-"My Dad, my super cute girlfriend, all my funny friends... you'll love it there <3"

-Jirou, you ray of sunshine.

-I see... I suppose Naoki Shiina was doing her damnedest to warn us for the mainline Haruka's sake.

-The fridge.

-Get the girl outta there.

-Noto-vator.

Sonoza: How did this happen? We're smarter than this! Sonoi: Apparently not.

-Oh Sononi...

-The bonds they made... they got them so hard.

-The Ring of Forgiveness!

-Are they just... playing on a public elevator?

-This is like a ghost town, huh?

-Beasts lurk in the quiet place.

-I love Jirou's half Naruto Run there, that's cute.

-...would it be considered a Boruto Jog? ...Himawari Power Walk?

-The fridge.

-If Jirou's girlfriend is in there, I'm gonna scream.

-Okay, she ain't.

-Produce, juice, a... comic sans labeled carton of Shallon...

-Nothing outta the ordinary, I'd assume.

-You can expect a lot of this kinda problem solving, Tsubasa.

-Kinda cranky today, aren't we?

-"I mean... going in the fridge seems like a good idea?"

-"...y'know what, I agree."

-Slammed in!

-Oh!

-Hello, Officer Terasaki!

-Er... this isn't what it looks like, we're just looking to exorcise your fridge of demons.

-We're friends kinda with your son.

-Oh my god, Sonoza's humming the theme, my boooy

-Ah, you must be the big man..

-Sono... Sonoroku? Changerion! I really oughta watch that sometime, huh?

-And the other one! Sonogo! The National Kid!

-Rip in spaghetti.

-Delicious!

-Foofd

-"This guy's a shef...like me."

-Jirou friend :)

-Penguin.

-Man, I remember seeing everybody freaking the fuck out about an origami penguin, but only in a show like this would seeing it be an earthshattering wham shot.

-Okay, Papa Terasaki seems to be friendly enough, at least.

-This is the first date, pops! You shouldn't ask for a backrub so soon without at least a couple thousand yen on you.

-Tarou?

-Inoue, do you have something you'd like to tell us?

-I suppose this man's been keeping us from an all-out Juto invasion.

-Ohhhh... Jirou's a successor...

-"We are. But our templates aren't."

-Holy shit, that is distressing.

-Hundred years!?

-Jesus, how old is that cop?

-I see his Natsumi sense is clouding his judgement.

-Man, these places are so pretty.

-I see Tsubasa's

-Don Dragoku!

-He's here!

-And of course! Tsuyoshi becomes a brand new Hitotsu-ki! Not many left at all, but I'm not quite sure which one he is. Seems very animalistic.

-Jirou's friends! ...with the revelation of Papa Terasaki, I'm now extremely suspicious of them, but that's okay!

-They all seem to be illusions anyhow!

-...very sad, actually.

-OH GOD

-Jesus, this is messed up.

-Seems like Shinichi's on the ball.

-Oh, he's big!

-Don Onitaijinless!

-"Fuck you man, I'll do it. You leave Jirou alone."

-...I wonder if Higuchi-san actually ate that paper?

-Oh hi, Sonoi!

-Guess he's got his duty to worry about now!

-Ohhhhhh, that's not good.

-Don Onitaijin! All on his own!

-...wait a fucking second, those are the KingOhger bugs!

-Animal Heart, okay! Hyakuujuu-ki!

-God Kuwagata!

-Hail to the king, baby!

-Oh fuck!

-Sonoshi!

-They're doin' it!

-Kijino's fucking gone!

-The pheasant's dead!

-Next episode!

-What is your dream, Momoi Tarou?

-Well Tsubasa, your first official mission as a Donbrother ended as a total failure.

-The evil Noto!

-We gonna die!

-"Oh Jesus Christ, Tarou's gone."

-Okay Tsubasa, I think you need to back up a little bit.

-Last time you were this aggressive about one of your male friends in a relationship, you were thrown in jail.

-...I gotta wonder, is Tiger Jirou a

-I see the Juto are fighting over who gets to be the Don.

-"You're awake, huh? You done fucked up."

-Oh, we dead for sure.

-There he is.

-Jutotaro.

-Uhhh, was it a smart idea to hang out in the place you were just kicked out of?

-Alright, no need to mug the camera!

-Sonoshi seems especially happy to get this manhunt on the roll. Good for them, I guess.

-Hello, Don Kaito.

-Can we keep these autistic kids we found on the street?

-Oh man... Kijino's really gone.

-"Tell me, Monkey Man. Where is my boyfriend?"

-"And mine, more importantly!"

-Tell me Don Kaito, are you a penguin too?

-Kinda got the suit for it.

-"Oh man, what if Tarou finds out...?"

-Shinichi, you seemed perfectly happy to fraternize with Sononi in the past. ...or at least, attempt very poorly to.

-"Tell me, Haiku Boy!"

Limited words, no rhymes...

Agh, no, wait! I can't do that!

Nice try there, Missy!

-"Well, if you pay the monkey, he'll like you."

-I guess Tsubasa's decided to play along.

-...though his acting experience seems to be of little help for this kind of role.

-"Okay, so like... are you sure this Natsumiho lady is even real? What if you got tricked by a Juto!? Honestly Tsubasa, I'm really worried about your well-being."

-There he is.

-Momoi Tarou.

-Oh he skates!

-Delivery time.

-"Oh Goddammit what do I do..."

-...

-OHHHHHHH

-"Can we give them our allowance?"

-They're really a bunch of kids, huh?

-I know I've been using the parallels with autism kinda jokingly, but like...

-Damn, I feel this in my soul...

-Poor shaming!

-Seems like Sonoroku really wants to smash the crap out of them.

-Gotta find the ring!

-Constant full moon!

-Jirou :(

-You were so lonely for so long, huh buddy?

-Looks like that penguin's not nearly as polite as Papa Terasaki.

-Oh hello, Crane Lady!

-Damn! Big slap!

-See you around, Crane Lady.

-Always despair.

-The Don Clan just fucks up constantly, huh?

-"It was just us, Jirou. It was always just us."

-Fuck, man...

-The moon's always bright and full.

-Ohhhh... he got in there!

-The reflection!

-Wheeeee!

-Seems like the origami cats are much friendlier.

-You fuckin' played them.

-Natsumiiii

-And here comes Sonoi!

-Sonoi :)

-OH MY GOD HE FREED THEM ALL

-Guess Don Momotaro has come into his own.

-Thanks, your lunacy.

-The ring...

-Well!

-Everybody's back on earth now!

-Shinichi you were staring at fucking clouds

-Sonoi's pretty good at taking two at once, I see.

-Sonoshi seems pretty okay with this

-Yoppy! From all the way back in Episode 1!

-Welcome back, Kijino.

-I suppose the weight of loss weighed heavy on the Tiger and the Dragon.

-Jirou...

-Good job, Don Momotaro!

-Ohhhh, Crane Lady's dead meat.

-Welp. I suppose it's time to fight on.

-Avatar Change!

-It's time~!

-We're all besties now~!

-Hot time, Donbrothers!

-...the Noto bosses seem rather... happy, considering we're all technically their enemies now.

-No more dreams for tonight. Natsumi Kuramochi has woken up, and is ready to watch the morning sunrise.

-Miho Kijino died as she lived. Surrounded by her husband's desperate affection, yet floats down the river alone with only her love for humanity left.

-...Man, Momoko Arata, your performances of this extremely bizarre and fascinating couple of characters is not something I can forget easy. Bravissima.

[joyful-soul-collector]

The Two Faces Of January

Whatever my reactions are to this, blame @raven-rk they told me to watch it. Also if anyone wants to send me recs of oscar isaac movies to watch (or any movies?? you want my gay ass to react to??) go ahead and suggest em, I'm all ears. You too, can be responsible for an unhinged reaction post

All I know about this movie is the one sentence description on HBO MAX and that Oscar Isaac is in it let's GO motherfuckers

Oop there he is

Oh look its Aragorn

Everything Oscar is wearing rn? slut behavior

OH HIS SMILE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM

Rydal is a cool name, stealing that

Oh he's a sneaky little man

I wish smoking weren't so bad for you, it's so damn aesthetic

Idk why Chester doesn't trust him, I mean he doesn't even know Rydal scammed him with that bracelet

Wait does he not trust him cuz he's a person of color. Is this mf just straight up racist. I wouldn't be surprised but still lol cmon bro

Who's this rando

Nice of him to try and return the bracelet he scammed em with lol

Oh shit we fightin'

Oh damn did he kill him?

Oh fuck yeah he ded

Oof, dad passed away only a MONTH ago? Poor guy

Is anyone gonna tell Colette what the hell is goin' on

KITTY

Love this guy scamming rich people, you go Rydal

KITTY

I enjoy the aesthetic of this movie a lot, lots of yellows and browns, makes the cooler colors pop well

Cool that he knows so many languages! I like Rydal so far, he's interesting

Oop Chester is d r o n k

Hope Chester doesn't still remind him of his dad, cuz then his dad would be an asshole...

Oh the intimacy of sharing a cigarette... Again, really wish it weren't so bad for you

I've said it once and I'll say it a million times over: men are always prettiest when they're a bit disheveled

RYDAL IS SO SWEET LOOK AT HIM HELPING THIS WOMAN OUT OF THE BUS

Oop he knooooows

God that bus is fuckin banger, I wanna turn that into a mobile home

Chester you mf, blackmailing Rydal like this

Oh Colette is adorable

Also Rydal's hair rn... Slut shit. Whore behavior

Rydal you sweetheart, standing up for Collette like that

OH THIS IS THAT MOMENT WHERE EVERYONE SAYS HE LOOKS LIKE JAKE LOCKLEY IN THE TANK TOP

I see it, 100%

Ok I hate Chester but his bedhead is 10/10

Jesus this guy has a real drinking problem

Oop Rydal to the rescue

Shiiiiit their pictures are in the paper

Why does this random kid think she can just take people's sunglasses???

HELL YEAH GET HIS ASS RYDAL

Oh they just walkin there huh

Love Zippo lighters, I can do a couple tricks with those, it's quite fun

BRUH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY'D YA DO THAT

OH SHIT FUCK SHIT IS SHE DEAD??

Ohhhhhhh no....

Wait is Rydal dead too? Did he fuckin kill Rydal? I thought he just knocked him out...

OH GOOD he's okay. He'll be pissed when he finds out about Colette tho

FUCK people saw Rydal leaving those ruins, they're gonna think he did it

Love it when people breathe smoke in the face of someone they hate, fuckin great. ONCE AGAIN, REALLY WISH CIGS DIDN'T KILL YOU

Hell yeah Rydal blackmail the shit outta him

OH SHIT MF ALMOST GOT THROWN OVERBOARD

SHIT fuck shit fuck they're looking for Rydal

Pfft hahaha he's like "if I get caught you're comin' down with me"

Oh damn he called him dad. Yeah his dad must've been right shit then

I forget airports didn't always have nine miles of security to get through

Called it, poor guy had a shit dad

Of COURSE Chester's out here like "forgive your dad everyone expects too much from dads, I hated my dad too"

Hell yeah get tf outta there Rydal

Aw dammit they got him. Hope he can get that confession he needs to be freed

Admit it, do it motherfucker

Ah shit he runnin

OH SHIT THEY SHOT HIM

Dammit I really hope he can get this fuckin confession outta him...

THANK YOU God the one good this Chester does in this whole movie

It's the breaking the cycleeeee, Chester hated HIS shit dad and Rydal hated HIS shit dad so now Chester's gonna be a not shit dad in his last moments mmmmmmmmm

Looks like he really does remind him of his dad in the end. And he went to his funeral in return for the confession

Interesting that he buried the bracelet with Chester instead of Colette. Something something, the immortality of fatherhood and metaphors about breaking cycles and literally burying his previous life and crimes with a man who embodied everything he hated, something something

That was a good movie I quite liked it! Good foreshadowing with the "he reminds me of my dad" comment at the very beginning. Viggo plays a great bad guy. Featuring Slutty Oscar, drunk off his ass Viggo, and poor Kirsten who did not deserve any bad things to happen to her ever, and yet they did

[star-mum]

ARE YALL READY FOR PAIN ???????? Cause I'm... not 🥺 the warnings alone made me upset ("all hurt no comfort" nooooo I'm fragile !!!)

Obligatory mood board for all the pain I've endured

Setting this fic in the Red Hood era is so mean, actually, diabolical even

"It was a secret that he had sworn to die with - and technically, he already had" OH OOOHHH JUST STRAIGHT OUTTA THE GATE WITH THAT THE ONE HUH

"existing as some weird, fucked up zombie thing" who is my boyfriend that I love and smooch every single day

"he didn’t want you getting caught in the crossfire of whatever Crane was planning" ... wELP-- me, cursed with the gift of vision (has read the author's notes and warnings)

"He always found you to be the most infuriating person in any room" 🫣 and I am

Reader: *literally anything even slightly mean*

"He wanted to strangle you" I can't bELIVE YOU SHARED THIS ONE SECTION WITH ME ONLY TO KILL ME OFF AT THE END AKAKSKSKS I TRUSTED YOU !!!!

"he smelled fucking delightful" KSKSKSKSN

Jason, already pissed off of his mind: first of all, I'm a swEET TREAT !!!! IM A DELIGHT TO BE AROUND !!!!!

(I love them)

"You used to letting frat boys all over you?" Wouldn't you like to know

I'm just preemptively SO MAD that you're gonna give me the Perfect Jason x Reader dynamic (like Y/Ns just like ME fr fr) only to fucking kILL ME OFF !!!!! HOW DARE YOU ??????

"Sounds like you spend an awful lot of time picturing me running a train.” SEE !!! THE FUNNIER THEIR BANTER THE ANGRIER I GET)

"Only when I’m with you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss" would you excuse me ? 🥰🥰🥰 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

"He hated how everything changed after Doctor Light" why must you hurt me this way ?

"torn apart by Dick’s nasty, festering secret" the real villain of this show, I sAID WHAT I SAID

"empty coldness of the Tower with a brooding Dick" title of your sextape

"entirety of the time that the two of you were in Gotham together" am I gonna find his fucking body? .... Sunny.... Am I Gonna Find his faUcking body ?????? You wouldn't do this to me (expect you fucking would, you fucking judas

"violence was a sweet art for the two of you" phrases that I just really like pt ... 69 (idk)

"That . That must have been the moment" Love epiphanies are dope

"Like he could spend the rest of his life making you happy" JUST TAKE ME AWAY NOW, GOD YOU VICIOUS TWO FACED PRICK

"He let you go. He easily became numb after that" Oh no this is so much worse : D

"He wondered, in a haze, if you were warm in your bed in The Tower while he was pressed into the cold ground, taunted by the laughter that rung in his ears" sunny if I catch sunny, sUNNY IF I CATCH YOU !!!!!

"For finally ending their sick, twisted game" well maybe if he had done it before, this WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED

"The Wayne Memorial Cancer Research Facility" wooooowww like okay ik you're a villain but do you have to be an asshole, also ?

"What he had done to Hank had crossed too many lines" just sprinkling it in huh

"It was you" 🫠 I'm not surprised but cmon man

"there was a loud crack as Jason broke Crane’s arm." Our special little love language <3

"then strangely - burning anger" maybe cause uhhhh I thought you were fUCKING DEAD ????? AND YOU KILLED HANK ????? I WOULDN'T SAY IT'S STRANGE JASON

"It reminded you of the real Jason you had gotten to know" Kate bush on repeat babies, it's time the huuuuuuurt

"Crane had turned the air itself acidic" : O

"grabbing a needy, possessive handful of your ass" as a little treat

"Whatever it was - his pain, his pleasure; you would take it. He was all yours now" you are so mean to me

"Panic flooded him. The whole thing had been a trap" ARE WE BOTH DYING ????? SUNNY ??? PLEASE PICK UP THE PHONE !!!!

"grabbed his mask up off the ground" nOPE JUST ME !!!!

"He reached up to your cheek, accidentally skimming off a layer of your marred skin" do NOT HOUSE OF WAX ME !!!!!

(I have not seen Saw X, or any of them, cause I'm a little pussy !!)

I like to believe Jason died too cause then I can properly cry to "As the World Caves In", I both hate and love couples who are doomed by the narrative

Your First Kiss With Jason Todd

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary:

Jason always thought he hated you. He did hate you.

Until he didn't.

Until his love for you ruined him in ways he couldn't even imagine.

Jason Todd x Gender Neutral Reader. Frenemies to Lovers. Pure Angst (Hurt, No Comfort). Set during Season 3.

Word Count: 8,200

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: This fic is almost entirely angst - hurt, no comfort. This fic does not have a happy ending!!! So be warned of that before you enter here. Jason and the reader are described as ‘hating’ each other, but they are more like frenemies/annoyances - they have a playful banter (at the time, even they don’t know that they like arguing because it’s sexual tension and passion for each other); the reader is completely gender neutral - the only pronouns used for the reader are you/yours; this is mostly written from Jason’s POV (which is where most of the angst comes from); Jason describes himself as a ‘zombie’ or ‘half-alive’ - but he is fully alive and has all of his mental faculties, he is just freaked out about the fact that he was resurrected; the reader does not have any meta powers, but is described as being very good at combat (this does not denote the reader’s body type); mentions of sex and some sexual themes - but there is no outright smut and no detailed descriptions of sex; mentions of negative stereotypes surrounding frat boys/frat houses - including STDs and group sex (mentioned in a negative light); mentions of Jason masturbating (and thinking about the reader while doing it); mentions of Jason’s canon trauma (being kidnapped and tortured by Deathstroke, dropped off the building); mentions of Jason being killed by the Joker (and being ressurected by Crane); mentions of the reader mourning Jason’s death; mentions of drugs and drug addiction (based around the canon storyline of the anti-fear gas); mentions of Jason’s trauma surround his mother’s drug addiction; mentions of Jason killing Hank (as in the canon); the reader is kidnapped (by Crane or someone who works for Crane) and held hostage, and later rescued by Jason; somewhat graphic descriptions of violence (Jason beating up Crane, other background instances), gory descriptions of a death toward the end (mentions of acid burns and choking on non-breathable air); major character death - the reader character does die. Like I said - no happy ending. Sorry not sorry.

A/N: This is set during Season 3 - and this does feature spoilers for Season 3 if you haven't seen Titans before. So if you wanna watch the show spoiler free, definitely avoid this fic. I was imagining this to be set around episode 6 or episode 7, before Crane's plan to use the ice cream factory is taken down by the Titans, but obviously Jason breaking away from Crane's control so early goes against the canon - so there's that. Also, if you wanna pair some music with this for something truly heartbreaking, I would highly recommend the classic Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush, or the highly underrated Colorado Sunrise by 3OH!3 (the lyrics are way more depressing than people realize, and I love it as a whump song. oomf). I also feel like the song Cloud 9 by Beach Bunny would go so well with this fic, but in like - the most devastating way. I haven't written something this cruel since I wrote Ghosting and I had so much fun doing it. You can't leave me alone with whump for too long, I turn into a monster. I need to go back to smut again quickly lmao.

...

Jason Todd was in love with you. 

It was something that he hated himself for. Actually, it was one of the most infuriating, devastating facts in the world. But it was true. You were someone who was so entirely amazing. You were beautiful - literally the hottest person Jason had ever met who wasn’t photoshopped or catered to be some unrealistic daydream. You were clever and smart and strong. You could kick anybody’s ass on any day of the week and still have enough energy left to tell them how much of an idiot they were and list all of the reasons why. 

And you would definitely never love Jason back. There wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that he could ever have someone like you. 

So he kept all of that stupid, idiotic love to himself. It was a secret that he had sworn to die with - and technically, he already had. 

Jason tried not to linger on the very fucked up, seemingly impossible fact that he had come back from the dead. And now he was existing as some weird, fucked up zombie thing - resurrected from having his skull caved in by the Joker to do Jonathan Crane’s bidding. This definitely wasn’t what Jason would have wanted out of a renewed life - but hey: when an Arkham prisoner gives you rotten lemons. 

When Jason wasn’t beating down drug dealers, stealing money, or strapping bombs to people - when he was trying his hardest not to focus on the fact that he had died and he was now living some strange half-life, reliant on Crane’s drugs, he was thinking about you. He thought about you a lot. 

He hadn’t come into contact with you since his strange foray back into the land of the living. That was probably for the best. He knew that you had freshly come back to Gotham, upon Dick’s request. Nightwing had called for backup from all the ex-Titans to help end Red Hood’s reign of terror. Jason wanted to stay as far away from you as possible. 

Genuinely, he didn’t want you getting caught in the crossfire of whatever Crane was planning. He wished you had stayed out of Gotham, but he knew that you were too loyal, too good not to come to the aid of the Titans when they needed you. He couldn’t reveal himself to you just for a taste of nostalgia - one last argument before you sold him down the river for good. But fuck - he thought about you a lot. 

When the two of you had first met, you were the last person he ever thought that he would surrender that stupid, soft label of love to. Even months into first knowing you - he would have said that he hated you. He would have told anybody that he found you to be the most annoying person on earth. 

Your relationship used to be the worst kind of dance. 

Every single time that Jason opened his mouth, you said something to contradict him. To a point, he believed that you didn’t even fully stand behind the things you said - you just enjoyed arguing against him. That you did it for sport. You used every single last bit of your time and energy to get under his skin. From mocking him to calling him a fuckboy to prodding at his grammar, poking holes in his points by smugly correcting him. He always found you to be the most infuriating person in any room. But it seemed that the more frustrated he got with you, the more cool headed you remained. 

He tried to mock you back, and you shrugged it off. Every time he became visibly annoyed in your presence - you giggled. He wanted to strangle you. 

And it was one fated day that he realized the line between heat fueled by frustration and heat fueled by lust truly weren’t that different. 

… 

“Jason! I thought I smelled you coming down the hall!” 

Jason groaned when he heard you make this comment. 

He thought that for once, he could have some peace to train alone - but it appeared that he would have no such luck. You were already in the training room, holding a long bo-staff as you ran some drills. Apparently, you were eager to exercise your mouth too - already whipping off clever insults the minute that Jason entered the room. 

When all he could muster was a glare in your direction, you let out a giggle. His blood boiled. 

“Between that god awful Axe body wash and that alcohol based aftershave that you like to drown yourself in, you smell like a walking frat house.” You continued, blabbering on even though Jason had made no efforts to engage you. At least not yet. “Just throw in some Busch Light and weed, and I might be able to catch gonorrhea just from the stench.” 

That was the nerve that hooked Jason into the conversation. First of all - he smelled fucking delightful. He always made hygiene one of his personal priorities. He was absolutely not one of those guys with crusty, sweaty balls. And second of all - he was not one of those STD spreading manwhores. He was clean in all senses. He always used a condom. 

“Sounds like you’ve got experience with that.” Jason quipped back. 

He looked to you for some kind of reaction, some inkling that he had gotten under your skin even a fraction of the way that you did his. His movements were rough with annoyance as he began wrapping his knuckles with tape so he could have a few rounds with the heavy bag - mostly out of a need to pound out his frustration on something. He was getting too angered with your presence in the room and not wanting to snap and take it out on you. (He already had enough on his record with Bruce, and despite popular opinion - he was trying to improve.) 

When you weren’t quick to respond, Jason continued. 

“You used to letting frat boys all over you? You seem like the type of person who would enjoy a good, sloppy frat house train. Twenty guys, one after the other, none of them knowing your name, just because you’re so needy for a good fuck.” 

Jason grinned, feeling like he had won this conversation with the essence of shock alone. 

But no. As always, you remained cool. You grinned right back at him, stepping toward him, crowding into his personal space as you said your next words in a low, smooth voice. 

“Sounds like you spend an awful lot of time picturing me running a train.” You smirked. “Is that why you’re always so late getting up in the morning? You wake up and the first thing you do is get a hand on your dick, imagining me getting fucked by a lineup of guys? Probably just wishing that one of them was you.” 

Jason’s face fell flat. 

You were so strikingly confident in your words that it made his stomach twist. Facing him down, speaking such filthy words without flinching - embarrassment and heat collided inside of him. Even more so with what you did next. 

You put a hand out in front of your crotch, mimicking the motions of jacking off while you mocked him in a broken voice. 

“Oh, oh fuck Y/N! Come on! Take my sloppy, frat house cock!” 

You then mocked a whiny series of moans that must have been Jason’s fake orgasm - and while Jason’s insides bubbled with a confusing heat, you quickly dissolved off into laughter. 

“Shut up.” Jason snapped, forcing his eyes down to focus on the process of taping himself up - praying that you wouldn’t see the heat that had spread across his cheeks. “You’re the fucking worst.” 

“Only when I’m with you.” You replied, blowing him a kiss - to which he stuck his middle finger up at you. 

He was eternally thankful when you went back to your own training in silence, only taking occasional glances up in his direction. 

… 

After that point, Jason had to admit to himself that he was attracted to you, at the very least. He could no longer deny that you were insanely attractive; you were a very, very hot person. And somehow, even past your annoying habits, he was being drawn into the orbit of your gorgeous looks and your wonderfully cocky, filthy mouth. 

But he still hated you. He definitely still hated you. 

He hated it even more when you became right - and you did become the object of some of his more heated fantasies. He became downright annoyed at the times he had his hand around his cock and imagined himself hate fucking you - imagined forcing every cocky retort out of your mouth, imagining you breathless and needy beneath him, begging for more with every hard push of his hips. 

He hated how everything changed after Doctor Light. 

Jason wasn’t thinking about your stupid beautiful cocky mouth after that. His mind was full of glass and he was being shredded from the inside out. He came home broken. After everything that happened with Deathstroke and Doctor Light - he was some fragile bird; some chewed up, used, pitiful thing. He didn’t have the energy to fight you anymore, not even for sport. 

So after he was rescued, still floating in numbness, he didn’t know what to do when you burst into his room unannounced. You practically shoved the door off its hinges, and stormed across the room toward him - tears hot in your eyes. You pounded curled fists against his chest, screaming at the top of your lungs. Half of your words were static in his ears, but the tone of your voice pierced through his heart like an arrow. You called him stupid, asking where in his empty head he had gotten the idea to go off by himself. 

Jason didn’t have it in him to fight you. So he broke down. 

He felt like the world’s biggest idiot for crying in front of you. But his throat was tight and he choked on the tears - he was too tired. He just couldn’t hold them back. He screamed back, and asked you to lay off. To get off his fucking back. 

You looked shocked. Like you had swallowed a piece of glass. 

You surprised him when you uncurled your fists and wrapped the most tender, gentle hands around his back, and for the first time since he had known you - you embraced him in a hug. He was weak and he needed it more than he was willing to admit, so he let you. He sobbed against your neck, his own cries too loud that he missed the timid sound of your apology. 

That wasn’t the only time you surprised him that week. 

He knew it was because he was some broken little bird, but you started taking care of him. You brought him plates of food without being asked, and when he attempted to shove them away - you refused. You told him to eat before you had to ‘shove it down his fucking throat’. 

You didn’t mock him. You didn’t correct him. And you surprised him even more when you turned the sharpness of your tongue on the others when they tried attacking Jason. They accused him of planting booze in Hank’s room or drawing crosses on Rachel’s mirror to fuck with her, among other things. And you popped veins in your neck going on a winding rant about how stupid and baseless their accusations were. 

Jason wasn’t sure if you knew it, but you jumping to his defense wrapped him in a blanket of protection that he had never before felt. It was so entirely strange, but welcomed coming from you. Especially because he knew that it was genuine. He knew that you didn’t have any ulterior motives for doing this - for some reason, you just wanted to help him. 

When you extended an invitation toward him to come with you as the group dispersed, torn apart by Dick’s nasty, festering secret - Jason felt welcomed by you. He knew that the dynamic between the two of you was changing at a breakneck speed, and he had to embrace it. He found himself eager to follow the weird, newly developing kinship that he had with you rather than wanting to stay in the empty coldness of the Tower with a brooding Dick. 

From there, it was really difficult for Jason to pin down the exact moment that his feelings transitioned toward you from casual lust to something more. He couldn’t tell exactly when it turned into that panic-inducing, ‘oh my god, I’m fucked’ feeling of being in love. After leaving San Francisco, during the entirety of the time that the two of you were in Gotham together, your relationship remained completely platonic. 

It was a few short weeks spent kicking ass as the best vigilante duo the city had ever seen, but there wasn’t a single moment Jason could point to where the two of you lit up with that romantic spark. It wasn’t some romcom bullshit come to life. It was just the two of you being friendly for once. The two of you helping each other survive. 

Back then - Jason wanted you, badly. Even if he didn’t know just how badly, he wasn’t going to fuck up the whole dynamic just to get laid. He felt safe with you. He kicked ass with you. He was good with you. And during that short time - he was happy. So he wasn’t going to do anything to risk that happiness. Happiness was too rare for him. So why the hell would he try putting the moves on you, scare you away, and fuck it all up? 

… 

A little slice of that happiness came in the form of Hal’s Diner. It was a place in downtown Gotham, open twenty four hours, and you and Jason had gotten into the habit of stopping there after your patrols. 

The two of you would kick some ass - break the legs of some drug dealers, make sure that women got home safe if they were walking late at night, keep the streets a little safer. And then you would change out of your patrol outfits and head to the diner, just as the sun was rising over the scummy streets of Gotham. You would get breakfast and Jason would get dinner. He would steal one of your eggs and you would take half his burger, and you would always comment about him putting way too much ketchup on his plate. 

It was harmony. 

“You know, every time I see you make a grown man cry, it brings me such intense joy.” Jason grinned as he said this, reminiscing about a beautiful moment from earlier in the night. 

He spoke about it in the same manner that someone might reminisce about seeing a relative or a cute puppy. But this was natural for the two of you - since you had taken up vigilantism as a duo, violence was a sweet art for the two of you. 

“Well, if he would have left that girl alone the first time I asked, I wouldn’t have broken his arm.” You shrugged, speaking very casually about it yourself. 

You then picked a piece of bacon up off your plate and took a bite, grinning at Jason fondly. You did appreciate it when he complimented your skills. 

Jason chuckled. 

“You know, it is nice to see you using your powers for good instead of evil.” He commented. 

“My powers?” You parroted back, your mouth half busy with chewing, your words slightly muffled. 

You didn’t have any metahuman powers, so this comment did leave you slightly confused. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, entirely confident in the statement he had to follow. “Your endless amount of energy to harass people and be endlessly annoying. The powers you used to spend all your time using on me.” 

“You used to deserve it.” You were quick with your tongue as usual, not missing a beat with this statement. 

Jason’s only rebuttal was to pick up a french fry - one not doused in ketchup - and throw it at your head. You flinched slightly when it bounced off your forehead - but when it landed in your lap, you easily picked it up and put it in your mouth, not thinking twice about doing so as you tossed Jason a wicked grin. 

That. That must have been the moment. 

That was the moment he realized that he was truly in love with you. You grinning at him from across the table, your smile lighting up your whole face, playing around with him like he actually made you happy. Like he could spend the rest of his life making you happy. 

That’s why it hurt so much more when your phone buzzed on the table a few minutes later. When you told him that it was the Titans - Gar in trouble. That’s why it hurt so fucking much when you left. 

Jason knew, in hindsight, that he should have gone with you. But he flailed like a rabbit caught in a snare, and rather than just agreeing with you, he felt the trap tightening around him, and he opted to chew off his own foot rather than simply letting you help him free. 

He stupidly argued that it was some test from Dick. That the Titans could deal with their own problems. Jason knew that deep down, he was still tender from everything that had happened - Dick dropping him, even by accident. The accusations, the secrets. The rejection. He felt like he was laying down a line - he was letting you make a choice. 

Him or the Titans. 

But it shouldn’t have been a choice. It was Gar. Jason should have stood by his friend. He should have gone with you. 

Deep down, Jason feared that if he did go with you - the Titans wouldn’t want him back. He feared another cutting rejection. They would simply bench him again, they wouldn’t even need him to help save Gar. They wouldn’t want him to help. He was useless, after all. He was careless and stupid. That was why he needed you to choose him. To stay. 

That was what his mind was screaming out as you looked at him, disappointment flooding your eyes as you questioned him about Gar, about going back to the Titans. 

Stay. He silently begged. Pick me. 

And watching you snatch up your jacket in a huff and get up from the table, your food barely touched - his eyes boring into your back as you retreated - it was like having his heart carved out of his chest. And because he was so fucked up, he just sat there. He couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He didn’t chase you. 

He let you go. 

Having you suddenly disappear from his life was like missing a limb. Jason was constantly aching around your non-presence, constantly missing you. He felt torn up from the inside out, wondering if his frayed nerve endings would ever heal themselves. When he went to Donna’s funeral, he stared at you from across the tarmac - telling himself that if you even so much as glanced in his direction, he would cross that sickly one hundred foot black sea and talk to you. He would make the leap and apologize. 

But you were fettered and stubborn and you kept your head straight. You knew it was the ultimate punishment not to acknowledge him. So the moment that the plane took off, Jason shoved on his helmet and sped off on his bike.

He easily became numb after that. 

He went back to Bruce - to lay low and lick his wounds, or because it was the only place he knew, he wasn’t sure. He tried to be a Robin that wasn’t with you. It didn’t work. He felt more broken than ever. It was cheesy, pathetic bullshit - but he talked about you in therapy. Leslie encouraged him to reach out to you, but every time Jason’s fingers hovered over your contact in his phone, his hands shook, and all he remembered was the look of pure scorn you had given him before you snatched up your things and left the diner that day. 

He thought of you as he suited up to go after the Joker. He considered how easy it would be for the two of you to take down the stupid clown together - how flawlessly the two of you worked as a team. 

Jason thought of you as he drew his last breath, soaked in blood and struggling past the world-ending pain. He wondered, in a haze, if you were warm in your bed in The Tower while he was pressed into the cold ground, taunted by the laughter that rung in his ears. 

… 

Jason didn’t know how hard you cried for him when you heard the news of his death. 

You wouldn’t have dared to say that the hole in the middle of your chest was caused by love - caused by the heartbreak of a lover being stolen. But you certainly felt robbed when you heard that the Joker had killed him. You seethed and you heavily considered marching toward Gotham to seek revenge. 

You knew that Dick was angry with Bruce for finally giving in to what the Joker wanted and killing him. For finally ending their sick, twisted game. But when you found out - you were glad that the clown was dead. You wrapped one of Jason’s stolen shirts around your pillow, and you slept a bit easier at night. 

…

Jason knew that he should have left town. 

Crane claimed that Red Hood was going to be the next Batman - that he was going to be something the Bat never could. That he was going to actually keep the streets safe. But so far, all Jason had done was steal, kill, terrorize, torture. Crane spoke of omelets and breaking eggs - pigs and bacon, and ‘marketing’ himself to the public. But truly, it never made any real sense to Jason. 

Jason knew that now, he was the type of man lurking in the night whose arm you would have broken if he was lingering too closely to the vulnerable. And you would have been right for doing so. 

Jason was tired. He felt lost - directionless. He was getting tired of Crane’s bullshit. He missed you. But he knew that he couldn’t just go running back to you. You likely wouldn’t have accepted him back into your life if he did. 

When Crane called him in that night, wanting to discuss ‘the game plan’ - Jason was worn. His patience for all of it was already wearing thin, and what happened next - it truly caused him to snap. 

Jason showed up in full gear, wearing the costume of an alias he no longer believed in; foolishly dressed up as someone he had truly begun to resent. He was holding his helmet in hand, his heavy boots clunking on the floor as he dodged around Crane’s egghead lackeys - a random group of people who were working to convert the anti-fear gas into a larger batch. He knew that they were aiming to get more and more people in the city hooked; if Jason hadn’t abandoned his morals in this new life, he might have cared more about the consequences. 

Instead, he made a B-line for Crane, who was typing away at something on the computer. 

“Jason, my boy!” Crane grinned at him, giving a false, performative grin over his shoulder. “Lovely evening, isn’t it?” 

“What do you want?” Jason asked, his tone flat. 

He was far too tired of Crane to engage in more word play or stupid riddles. 

“Never one for pleasantries, are you?” Crane chuckled. 

Jason didn’t offer him a reply - seemingly confirming his theory with this simple act. 

Truthfully, he wasn’t. He wasn’t feeling very pleasant today. He hadn’t felt very pleasant any day since he had been so rudely pulled from the morgue and zombified to do someone else’s bidding against his will. Being an undead puppet didn’t really make a person all that pleasant. 

Crane reached into the pocket of his oddly quaint grandpa sweater and pulled something out - a small glass vial, containing some clear liquid. It looked harmless - like water. But Jason knew Crane, and he knew that whatever it was must have been entirely dangerous if Crane was carrying around such a small dose of it. 

“Do you know what this is?” He asked, giving the vial a small shake, jostling the liquid inside to emphasize his point. 

Jason hesitated before he shook his head in the negative. He hated to appear clueless and stupid around such an intelligent man, but he didn’t want to guess and be wrong. He knew that being misinformed around Crane was dangerous. But being cocky and pretending to know more than Crane was even more dangerous. 

“This is a very highly concentrated form of liquid Methadone.” Crane explained. “It’s a highly addictive substance. And I think it’s going to give the mass market version of your formula that little extra kick that it needs, ya know? Keep the people coming back for more!” 

He let out a bright chuckle, as though he was talking about a cleaning product that was marketed on an infomercial or some kind of great recipe for soup. That was one of the things that scared Jason the most about Crane - his ability to talk about life changing, deadly things with such jarring enthusiasm. He truly thought of bringing people their worst nightmares and their most painful deaths as ‘beautiful work’. 

“What about it?” Jason prodded quietly. 

He knew that Crane hadn’t called him here just to brag about a new idea to add something to the formula. He needed Jason for something. 

Jason just hoped that he wasn’t looking to use him as a guinea pig again. He would likely rather die again than go down the path of heavy drugs. One thing he had vowed - he wouldn’t end up like his mother. 

“Well, you see, my boy, that’s where you come in.” Crane grinned at him. “Due to its highly addictive qualities, Methadone is also a highly regulated substance. But because I am the wonderfully well-connected man that I am, I happen to know that there is a very large stash of it just sitting there, ripe for the taking, in this quaint little building uptown.” 

Jason’s gut stirred with suspicion. 

“Where uptown?” He asked. 

“Well, it’s just-” Crane stuttered, and then sighed, deciding to get it out and over with. “The Wayne Memorial Cancer Research Facility.” 

Jason glared at him. 

“But see, it’s fine! Because I happen to know someone who knows their way around the Wayne Tech security systems very well. So Red Hood breaks in there, gets me my-” 

“No.” Jason said flatly, before he turned and started to walk away. “Find somebody else. We’re done.” 

Crane had threatened to replace him before. Crane had no-so-subtly threatened to kill him alongside being replaced. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe Jason would be better off dead. Maybe Crane would find out that Jason was irreplaceable after all. Maybe Jason was a dirty, seedy criminal shaped by life for only one thing: ruining the lives of others. If Jason couldn’t do that, he wasn’t sure what he would do. 

But he wasn’t going to fucking do this. 

Killing was one thing. Stealing from drug dealers and mobsters was another. What he had done to Hank had crossed too many lines - but it didn’t even begin to approach the lines that this crossed. 

Stealing from a facility that Thomas and Martha had set up when Bruce was just a child, shitting all over their legacy, using skills that Bruce had taught him in order to do it? That was too far. Jason couldn’t say that he had morals anymore, but he still had that voice of common decency in the back of his head yelling at him to stop it. Maybe it was your voice, correcting him at every turn the way you used to. 

He should listen to that voice. 

He should leave town. 

“Hold on, hold on there, Jaybird!” Crane called after him. 

The pure annoyance that the nickname caused was the only thing that stopped Jason. He considered turning around and shooting Crane just to shut him up. 

“See, I think you forget how this works.” The man went off again - talking in that humming tone he always used that made Jason’s ears numb, made his brain switch off. “Every loyal dog gets a treat. A little motivation to get that Pavlovian mind barking in the right direction.” 

Jason turned back around then. 

“Nothing you say ever makes any fucking sense.” He barked out, ready to leave Crane with these as his last remarks before he left Gotham forever. 

But then Crane tapped at a few things on his keyboard and pulled something up on the monitor - a dark, grainy video feed that had Jason squinting his eyes and walking closer to get a better look. 

When Jason was able to truly take in the scene - his stomach dropped. 

It was you. 

You were sitting alone in some anonymous, concrete warehouse - probably in the industrial district of Gotham, if Jason had to guess. Crane didn’t like to keep his insurance policies too far away, he liked to play it close to the vest. You were tied to a chair, duct tape tight over your mouth, very much there against your will. You were looking straight ahead, with the camera angled down from the top corner of the room. Even through the grainy, black and white footage, Jason could see the wetness of tears streaking down your face. 

You were terrified. 

Jason’s helmet clattered to the floor, slipping from his grip as the shock overtook his system. 

For the first time in weeks, fighting through the numbness of the drugs and the hazy shock of his new half-life - he was terrified too. Then he was angry. Rage bubbled up inside of him like a sharp, acidic bile. 

“What the fuck have you done?” Jason growled out, the anger setting his jaw so tight that the words could barely escape between his teeth. 

“I told you - every loyal dog gets a treat.” Crane said, a barely contained glee filtering through his voice as he peered over Jason’s shoulder at your weeping face on the screen. 

He clapped a large hand on Jason’s shoulder, and Jason felt himself nearly choke on his own tongue - so swollen with anger that it barely fit in his mouth. 

“So, go fetch, doggie.” Crane continued. “Go get me what I need. Otherwise, that sweet little treat of yours is gonna play dead.” 

Crane leaned over and whispered those last words into Jason’s ear - and that was what truly caused him to snap. 

In a flash, Jason grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder, whipped Crane around - there was a loud crack as Jason broke Crane’s arm. The egghead types who were working on the formula all paused; some of them gasped or hid behind things, but none of them were brave enough to intervene. Jason shoved Crane’s face into the monitor, cracking it out like a spider’s web but never fully obscuring the image of that dark, cold warehouse - the place where you were alone and terrified. 

He twisted Crane’s broken arm, making a sound like glass grinding in on itself, and the man let out a howl. 

“I think you forget how this works.” Jason barked at him, his voice so dark with rage that it almost sounded like he was wearing Red Hood’s voice modulator even though his helmet was on the floor at Crane’s feet. “When dogs get pissed off - they bite.” 

He twisted the injury again, and Crane let out another bitter howl. 

Jason demanded to know where you were, and Crane squeaked out an address. It was in the industrial district, so it checked out in Jason’s mind. It didn’t seem like a trap or a false answer to waste his time. 

Jason shoved the pathetic, useless man to the ground, kicked him in the gut for good measure, and then leaned down to grab his helmet before shoving it on. He would need it in case Crane had anybody stationed there, guarding you. 

Crane shouted something at him as he walked away, but Jason was barely paying attention - now very singular minded on his mission toward you. 

“You have to learn to play by the rules, Red!” Crane choked out. “You won’t like how this ends! I made you! I fucking made you!” 

… 

Jason was surprised to find the building empty. No guards, seemingly no bombs, no gas canisters. At first, he thought it really was a trick, a misdirect to waste his time. But when he had just about given up hope of finding you, searching one of the back most rooms that used to serve as overflow storage for Ace Chemicals - he found you. Concrete and anonymous, some of the beams having eroded away in places from improper chemical storage. 

When you saw him stalking toward you - his gun drawn, heavy boots thudding against the floor, modulator puffing out heavy, mechanical breaths - you let out a terrified whimper past the duct tape and more tears flowed freely down your face. 

Jason felt a twinge of guilt. Of course. You had no clue it was him. 

Perhaps he could get away with the mercy of never revealing himself to you. He could keep his mask on, release you, drop you back off with the Titans and then leave town. But eventually, Dick would tell you who he was. 

At the very least, he could give you the comfort of seeing a familiar face after the hell you had been through. You were wearing a sweatshirt and simple cotton pants, and running shoes - it looked like you had been plucked off the street during a jogging session. He could only imagine how much Crane’s lackeys had scared you. 

Once he was confident that the area was secure, he holstered his gun and then reached up, removing the face mask from his helmet and tossing it aside. 

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” He told you - attempting to be gentle and soothing in his voice. 

He approached you slowly, not wanting you to be scared as he reached to his belt for a knife - only with the intention to cut the ropes around your torso, wrists, and ankles. 

He watched your expression as you flashed through a range of emotions - deep confusion, a bit of relief, sadness, and then strangely - burning anger. You glared at him with the most intense rage he had ever seen from you - more intense even than the day you had stormed into his room and called him stupid and suicidal for going after Doctor Light without backup. 

Jason was slightly afraid of the lecture that would come next, but nonetheless, he knelt beside you and began cutting you free. 

The minute that one of your hands was free, you reached up and ripped the duct tape off your mouth. You took only a fraction of a second to wince in pain from the tender skin of your lips being disturbed before you began verbally tearing into him. 

“Jason Todd!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, so loudly that Jason was sure some of the edges of the corroded concrete pebbled off and fell down just from this. “Jason fucking Todd! I should have known you had something to do with this!” 

“Wh-?” 

Before Jason could question your odd choice of words or even recognize it as an accusation, you raised your other freshly free hand and slapped him squarely across the cheek - it was a hard, skull-shaking clatter. It had Jason dizzy, falling back onto his ass and dropping the knife before he could finish cutting the ropes around your legs. 

“Fucking ow!” Jason griped, reaching up to grab his now very red cheek. 

“You are such an asshole! Of all the completely idiotic, stupid things you have ever done-” 

“I didn’t fucking kidnap you! Okay? I didn’t do shit!” Jason quickly argued back, finally now realizing that you thought he had put you here in the first place. “I’m here to rescue you!” He said each of these words slowly, looking you in the eyes, hoping that his point would get across more firmly this way. 

There was a tense moment as you stared back at him with your jaw locked. It was likely that if your feet hadn’t still been tied, you would have run away - or kicked him. Jason was thankful that you couldn’t do either at the moment.  

“Why?” You asked, finally breaking the tension. 

“What?” Jason gaped. 

This was the last thing he had been expecting. 

He was saving you - why were you questioning him? 

“Why are you ‘rescuing’ me?” You asked, taunting his phrasing of it with a mocking tone and large air quotes. He now regretted freeing your hands. “So you can bargain me off to Dick for ransom money? So you can put a bomb in my chest?” 

You said the last part with intense disdain, tears dancing in your eyes.

So you did know what a monster he was.  

He was surprised that you hadn’t hit him harder. 

Jason heaved a sigh. He reached over and picked up the knife, very slowly, very tentatively resuming cutting the ropes on your legs to free you. 

“I’m just freeing you so that you can be free. That’s it.” He said quietly, defeat lacing through every inch of his voice. “You don’t deserve this.” 

He cut the last rope and folded the knife, sticking it back in his belt. He stood up then and caught a glimpse of your face - you were wearing the most complex expression he had ever seen. Perhaps confusion, perhaps anger. Maybe somewhere deep in your eyes - hurt. 

He turned and moved to leave, hoping you would simply follow him out of the confusing maze of the building and he wouldn’t have to drag you out kicking and screaming. 

“That’s not an answer.” You told him, your tone sharp and certain - the same tone you always used to correct him. 

Jason whipped back around then, heaving a sigh as he looked at you - standing in the middle of the room now, arms folded over your chest, glaring at him on the spot. Cocky and so sure about yourself. Too damn certain and immobile in your points. Infuriating. 

“Why the fuck do you have to make everything so damn complicated?” Jason shot back, annoyance and dread tight in every inch of him. “Why do you have to interrogate me about every damn thing that I do?” 

“Because you make stupid ass decisions when I don’t.” You easily fired back. “Now tell me: why are you doing this?” 

“Because I wanted to.” Jason huffed. 

“Why?” You prodded again. 

He let out another hot huff, and you didn’t let it go. 

“Come on Jason!” You shouted, increasing in volume as you became more frustrated with his lack of an answer. “You didn’t just develop a conscience all of a sudden! Why did you feel the need to suddenly drop everything and come to my rescue? What makes me different than Hank? What makes me different than-?” 

It was the annoyance grinding on him. It was a combination of your nagging voice, the lack of drugs in his system for the first time in weeks. The rawness of the world ragging on his last good nerve. The sound of your voice putting him in line - exactly where he was supposed to be. The way you reminded him of the truth now more than ever. 

“Because I’m in love with you!” Jason shouted. 

It was almost… angry. It was a declaration that hit you like a whip - more like an insult than something warm and kind. It wasn’t made of sweetness, like some moment from a film with a gentle piano riff wrapped around it. It was real - made of the haunting kind of passion that kept Jason awake at night. 

Your eyes widened. Jason’s breathing stilled as he waited for you to react - to say something. 

“Oh.” Your voice cracked around this syllable, and your eyes danced with more tears. 

Jason felt his own heart crack apart inside of his chest, more terror flooding him. 

He had died with the secret because he had never wanted to live up to the embarrassing vulnerability of confessing it. In the deepest part of his mind, he had lived this horror a thousand times. Him finally creeping out onto the edge of oblivion - speaking those words. Confessing. And then you stabbing him in the heart, rejecting him. 

The reality of it ripped through him so much harder than it ever had in his nightmares. 

Any last tiny piece of his soul that had survived being murdered by the Joker had just been shattered by you. 

“Yeah. Fucking oh.” Jason echoed back, his own tears clutching at his throat. 

Seeing him with that naked vulnerability dancing behind his eyes - it reminded you of the same person who came back from being kidnapped by Doctor Light. It reminded you of the real Jason you had gotten to know. 

In that moment, it all came crashing toward you. You gasped harshly as you could barely breathe around it. 

That hole in your chest had been shaped like a lover - it had been shaped like him. Filled with the pain of letting him get hurt, leaving him alone in Gotham to be murdered by the Joker. Filled with the doubt and confusion of never knowing what could have been between the two of you if you had chased those flirtations a little bit farther. 

And now, he was standing right here in front of you, somehow perfectly alive and well - and there was only one possible thing you could do. 

“Jason.” You gasped out his name, unable to fathom more words. 

Before he could move, you reached out and grabbed both sides of his face, one of them still singed with a burning ache where you had slapped him so hard - and you pulled him into a kiss, hard. 

It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t dainty or smooth like some Hollywood love confession - it was hungry. Bordering on feral as you both fought to consume more of the other person, bleeding out little moans and fighting for breath past each other’s lips. Jason’s hands rushed to embrace you, wrapping around your back and grabbing a needy, possessive handful of your ass while you kept your grip tight on his face, keeping his face forcefully close to your own as you devoured his mouth. 

You felt some of his tears escape - such a rush of emotions making him raw and unable to hold them back, and you moaned pitifully into his mouth as he wetness slipped underneath your palms. Whatever it was - his pain, his pleasure; you would take it. He was all yours now. 

… 

Far off, on the other side of Gotham, Crane chuckled quietly to himself as he watched the scene unfold. He had pulled up the camera feed on a separate tablet, seeing as Jason had used his head to crack the monitor. With his broken arm bound in a temporary sling, he used his one good hand to pull something out of a drawer - a remote with a single button. 

“For these violent delights have violent ends,” He recited to himself, still grinning widely as he looked at the two lovers in the grainy, black and white footage. “And in their triumph, die like fire and powder. Which as they kiss, consume. Even the sweetest honey is loathsome in his own deliciousness, if the taste confounds the appetite.” Crane poised his finger on the button. “Therefore, love moderately.” 

He pressed down, and dissolved into more epic laughter as he watched what came next. 

… 

You were only human, and you could only kiss Jason for a few minutes before your brain demanded oxygen. As much as you hated to pull away from the sweet, bruising sting of his lips, you forced yourself back and immediately took in a sharp breath that turned into a rolling pant - Jason let out a needy whine in protest. 

With his arms holding you so securely and the dizzying heat now flowing through you - you almost didn’t catch it. But it was there, in the background, something steadily present that wasn’t there before. 

Beeping. A small, electronic beeping. 

“Do you hear that?” You asked Jason, squinting your eyes with confusion and looking around, trying to find the source of the noise. 

He did hear it. 

“Fuck.” Jason mumbled. 

Panic flooded him. The whole thing had been a trap. 

He pulled away from you hesitantly and grabbed his mask up off the ground, snapping it back on. 

“We have to go. Now.” He told you, his voice now sharp and robotic through the voice filter as he grabbed your wrist and began dragging you away - you became limp to his direction for once and simply followed, fear tight in your gut once again. 

Jason didn’t want to consider the possibilities, but he knew it could be anything from a large bomb, meant to tear you to shreds, to a large dose of fear gas waiting to be deployed. And he didn’t have an antidote at the moment. He needed to get you out of the building and transport you to safety. 

When the two of you came to a door - one of the many that Jason had passed through on his way in - it snapped shut in Jason’s face. It was on some kind of mechanical locking system, that much was apparent. Jason rushed forward, trying to pry it open - but it was welded steel, and it wouldn’t budge. 

Jason heard more slamming - more metal forcing itself shut on the same locking system. 

“Jason?” You croaked, that unsure terror back in your voice again. Something so rare for you. You were looking to him for answers. You were looking to him to rescue you. 

Overhead, the last bits of light were shut out - glimpses of the street lights outside - as thick metal shudders collapsed down over the windows. The room was sealing itself shut, becoming air tight. 

“Stand back.” Jason told you, not waiting to see if you followed the instruction before he pulled out one of his guns and began shooting at the door’s heavy metal hinges. He knew it was futile and he feared that one of the bullets might ricochet off and hit you, but he didn’t have many options left. 

Then he heard it. The gentle hissing of gas being released into the air. 

Jason was naive to have hoped that it was Crane’s classic Fear Gas - that would have been a merciful walk in the park compared to what he had planned for you. Betraying Jonathan Crane meant that Jason had to be truly punished. 

Jason turned to you, wrapping his arms around you, as if trying to shield you from the air itself - but it was too late. You began coughing and struggling to breathe, and Jason looked on with confusion as his chest twisted with guilt. 

With his helmet on, he felt nothing. For the first few moments, he didn’t even understand what was going on as you gasped for air, struggling to form a word as you choked on each breath. Jason had no clue what the substance was or how he could fix it, looking on in horror as thick fog clouded around your ankles - your eyes bulging out of your head as you struggled for oxygen. 

“Y/N?” Jason gasped, holding you by both shoulders as you became weaker and leaned on him. “Y/N?” 

You couldn’t answer him. 

You continued to wheeze, your breath hitching against your throat harshly. As the fog reached up to touch your face, it left angry, blistering marks in your skin. Unlike Jason, you had no armor to protect yourself - and somehow, Crane had turned the air itself acidic. Your eyes became wrecked with bloody red streaks and your face swelled as you continued to choke. 

Jason’s insides screamed, but he felt too still. 

As more of the fog touched you, some of the marks on your neck and your cheek blistered more and opened up, bleeding out pinkish bubbling puss as Jason continued to hold you - he didn’t know what else to do. 

All he could do was hold you. 

A harsh foam seeped out of your mouth as you choked on your last half-breath, and Jason felt a stinging pain consuming him - he wasn’t sure if it was the acidic fog finally breaching through his clothing, or the biting pain of having you limp in his arms - dead, as he huddled there on the floor. 

“Come on.” Jason wept, steaming up the inside of his helmet as he recycled back his own breath now. He reached up to your cheek, accidentally skimming off a layer of your marred skin with his gloved thumb as he tried to wipe away some of the teary blood that had leaked from your eyes. “Come on, Y/N. Wake up.” 

Jason simply wept. And he held you. 

As he looked at the camera feed, Crane smiled. 

“This is what happens when you don’t play by the rules, Red.”

...

A/N: SOOOO obviously this ending leaves us with a lot of questions - did Jason survive? I think this can be interpreted one of two ways: one, Jason did live. He managed to escape somehow, and he had scars all over his body from the acidic fog, and he enacted a very vicious, bloody, torturous revenge on Crane before going into hiding forever (or before using Red Hood to give actual justice to innocent people who needed it, his scars always a reminder of who he lost). Or - he sat there in shock and eventually choked to death as well. Or he pulled the whole 'my life is not worth living anymore' thing and just took off his helmet on purpose. So you can imagine that either of those things happened next.

Also, if you didn't catch it (or, if you're not a Saw person) - this situation was heavily inspired by the final plot twist trap in Saw X. I love the acidic fog, and I feel like Crane could be a trap guy. The Titans version of Crane could be good friends with John, imo.

Also, if you enjoyed this fic, check out my DC Titans Masterlist for more of my other fics!! And please consider reblogging and commenting on this fic to tell me what you liked about it.

[absolutepokemontrash]

Imagine the chaos that would occur if MC was a baby and for some reason they couldn't send them back and get a different student for the exchange program.

Lucifer would have a headache every single day from the moment he laid eyes on MC. His brothers already act like babies and now he has a real one to deal with.

I'm sure Asmo would be having the time of his life dressing it up in cute onesies and posting pictures to Devilgram. He would absolutely not change any dirty diapers though.

Meanwhile Beel isn't allowed to be alone with the baby at first so he doesn't wind up eating it. After he gets past that, I think he would be like an awesome older brother to MC.

Poor Leviathan would probably avoid it like his life depended on it. He just has no idea how to handle the little thing. The first time he had to change a diaper he cried.

I don't think Satan would have much of a problem with it. The look on Lucifer's face when the baby first arrived was enough to win Satan over. He would never let it in his room though. There are too many valuable books in there.

Mammon would complain constantly at first because now he literally has to babysit. It would take him maybe two whole days before his motherly instincts kick in though and he begins loving the kid like it's his own. He sulked for weeks when the baby was finally sent back to the human world.

Oh and Belphie just stays in the attic. Sorry Belphie but there's no way the baby could get you outta there.

Belphie isn’t in the attic because he went to therapy in this timeline! He and baby!MC nap a whole lot together :D

MC is a Baby?!

Lucifer

He has a question for God… WHY?! First the exchange program happens, which was a headache and a half to set up, and now he’s holding the exchange student, who he’s pretty sure needs a change of diapers!

Lucifer makes the logical suggestion of sending the baby home, you know, TO WHERE THEY BELONG, only to find out that MC is an orphan… oh fuck…

When the baby first moves into the house, Lucifer is pawning off his duties so much that even Mammon is shaking his head in exasperation. No. Lucifer is NOT taking care of another baby. Not after Satan…

But Beel had other plans, when Lucifer was distracted, Beel just plopped the baby in his lap, and I guess the mother chemical kicked in because that’s Lucifer’s baby now. He loves this chubby little human… it’s claws are small and useless… so cute 🥺

No one dares to question why the Avatar of Pride has a baby on his lap during meetings, because what are the other nobles going to do? Screw with Lucifer? Only a suicidal demon would do that!

Lucifer is the type to try and reason with the baby with… expected results. “Stop your crying and explain to me what’s wrong.” “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” “Tears will get you nowhere, explain your problem.” “Lucifer, MC can’t speak.”

All in all, this baby is his now.

Mammon

Everyone look! Did you see that?! It’s all Mammon’s street-cred… flying away…

What do ya mean he’s gotta watch this baby!? Nuh uh, babies are gross, they stink, and they’ve got really chubby cheeks-

Oh would you look at that, now Mammon’s cooing over the baby. Tsk, dumbass.

Listen, while Mammon loves sweet baby MC with all his heart and soul, he’s not the best babysitter… he’s a scammer at heart, and MC is his little partner in crime…

…for roughly two days before Asmo and Lucifer nearly murdered him over it.

Other than scummy scam behaviour, Mammon tries to teach MC how to play cards, since they’re a baby, MC just noms on the cards.

Since he’s such a wonderful big bro, he buys MC so many toys, anytime he walks past a toy store he’s like “Huh, I wonder if MC needs anythin’ else…”

Leviathan

*SHRIEKS OF TERROR*

NO! NO! Not in his fucking room! You know what babies do?! Spit up! Poop! Drool! Not on his merchandise, no sir! Levi will have no part in taking care of this random normie baby!

Weeeellll, there’s one problem with that, MC likes Levi’s giant fish tank, and when they wouldn’t stop crying, Belphie gave up and broke into Levi’s room and plopped MC in front of the tank.

Henry was probably delighted to have a little friend, Levi, not so much. MC was smearing yogurt all over the glass… that was going to take forever to clean…

“Fibsh!” “Shut up normie-baby…” “Fibsh!”

By the fourth happy “Fibsh!” Levi’s cold dead snake-heart melted, but only a little! He has some kid-friendly anime they can watch, right? Nothing that’ll give them nightmares.

Boom, look at the colours baby MC, this is the original 1990s Sailor Moon anime, subbed, obviously. No 4Kids dub for MC.

“This is where Tuxedo Mask and Usagi meet for the first time, but they don’t know each other’s secret identities yet.” “FIBSH!”

Satan

Huh, Satan had seen human babies before, but living with one would be an interesting experience, he could study their eating and sleeping habits, what toys they like to play with in comparison to demon babies…

Well, Satan would have studied MC’s sleeping patterns if the BABY EVER SLEPT! All they did was cry! All night long! Only Asmo could calm them down and Asmo, the selfish bastard, refused to compromise his beauty sleep! Ugh…

“Why do human babies cry so loud anyway..? Isn’t that just asking for predators to come and eat them?!” “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

Satan does eventually warm up to the baby after he realizes they won’t cry as much if he reads them bedtime stories.

…Satan then feels like crying when he realizes that MC now cries for even more stories. Ah, history repeats itself…

Asmodeus

*squeeeeeeeeee!* babies! So cute! Let him hold MC! Let him hold MC! Awwww, those chubby cheeks and big ol’ eyes…

Babies are just so adorable! Asmo can’t help but want to snuggle them into oblivion!

For the first time in a good long while, Asmo and Mammon work together to dress MC in the most adorable baby clothes! Nothing but the best for his new baby sibling!

Asmo likes to take MC on walks in this new fancy stroller he bought, he wants to flex the cool built-in activity features on all the other babies at the park.

As a firm believer in the importance of learning social skills, Asmo hosts baby play dates! (He doesn’t want MC turning into the next Levi…) b-but… MC is growing up too fast 🥺

…wait growing up is a good thing, that means Asmo will have a sidekick in his romantic pursuits!

Beelzebub

… awww. A baby! …what’s Beel going to do with a baby?

Babies are something Beel is pretty unfamiliar with, he, Belphie, and Lilith were the family babies after all. But fret not, Beel’s willing to-

…why are babies so small??? And squishable??? Oh shit someone take the baby away from him before he accidentally crushes them! 🥺

Beel is way more comfortable just sitting MC on his lap so he doesn’t accidentally crush them.

Yeah so, Beel also doesn’t really know how to feed a baby. Like, are they going to eat this sandwich he made them? It’s steak and lettuce :)

Oh, the baby doesn’t have teeth. Whoops. More food for Beel though!

When MC gets big enough, they get all the piggyback rides. They can assert their dominance over the other babies at the playground by rolling up on a bordering seven feet tall Beel’s shoulders.

Belphegor

…what? Where’s the hu- oh. Down there. It’s uh… a little small.

Belphie is terrified of babies, like- why do they move like that? What do they want?! Please just tell him what you want, baby MC! Stop crying, this brat needs to sleep!

While Belphie is absolutely petrified of the baby, MC absolutely LOVES him. They toddle and crawl right up to him, then start tugging on his pant leg to make him pick them up.

Once Belphie, with the help of Beel, gets over his fear of the baby, Belphie can hardly be seen without them.

Fights have in fact broken out over who gets to hang out with the baby. Asmo and Belphie once got into a cat fight over who got to take MC to their first day of preschool. Lucifer swooped in and won…

Stupid Lucifer…

[sugarylawliet]

May I pretty please have a nsfw Light x Fem!Reader fic where Light is horny af and tries to seduce the reader but since it’s so rare to see Light needy like that, the reader decides to use this and pretends like she’s busy etc. and drives Light crazy af which leads to angry Dom!Light sex ;)

WHEW i got outta breath just reading this req-

warnings: nsfw/smut, dom! light, degradation with slight praise, this one has more plot than usual i think

taglist: @ygm1slt

"Y/N, do you mind?"

You glanced up from the dozens of tan manilla folders you held in your hand, spread out like a hand of playing cards, each one filled with documents upon documents about the legend you and your coworkers were chasing. The stacks of papers felt like the scribblings of a child in your hand; useless to you, because you knew who Kira was already. Hidden in plain sight, he was the man who had just called your name from the front of the room where he sat, beckoning for you to come near.

You let out a long sigh under your breath, slowly placing the papers onto the desk you stood in front of. You and Light were not dating, no, in fact you could barely stand to be in the same room as the man. His aura was suffocating, despite the large and sprawling rooms of the headquarters building, you could always pinpoint just where Light was; you could feel his arrogant energy wafting off of him, making it clear who the superior one was in the room. It was asphyxiating, and his words were even worse. Everytime he called you to come closer to him, your heart skipped a beat- and though you were sure it was from disgust, you never denied any of his requests. Your love-hate relationship with him only made your interactions more intoxicating. You weren’t gonna deny yourself the excitement.

Your footsteps echo through the almost empty room as you walked towards Light, the only other people at the task force at the moment being L, Matsuda, and Soichiro, all of whom were working together on the right side of the room, their focus on L’s computer.

“What is it?” You ask as you approach Light, stopping next to him.

“I’d like to know your thoughts on this, a second opinion would be helpful.” He gestures towards his computer screen, which was packed with data you could barely read. As you attempt to decipher the text, Light places his hand on your upper thigh, gripping it horizontally. You hold back a gasp, trying not to draw attention to yourself. Light stares at you, your eyes unwavering from the screen in front of you.

“Umm, well, it’s....”

Light’s hand slides up your thigh, his fingers inching up your skirt and brushing the fabric of your panties. He moves his fingers slightly with the slowness of a lover brushing their thumb up and down your hand as you hold theirs. Your breath stutters as you found yourself craving a harder touch from the man you thought you hated.

You break your gaze from the computer screen and glance at Light- his eyebrows were turned downwards, and the image gave you an idea. You grab Light’s hand, peeling it from your leg and dropping it into his lap. “Actually, Light. I’m kind of busy with these documents right now, sorry.” You smile, walking away and returning to your spot at the other table.

You sort through the papers, your mind off of Light before you feel the vibration of your phone from the table. You check to make sure L wasn’t looking before checking your phone, opening the message notification.

Light Y.

brat.

You glance over your shoulder before typing a quick response.

                                                                                                                        Y/N

                            i’m sure i don’t know what you mean.

You place down your phone screen-first on the table and turn your ringer off, not bothering to see whatever quip Light would respond with. You catch him rolling his eyes out of the corner of your view before returning to his work. He places a hand over his mouth and throws one of his legs over the other, crossing them. You smirk to yourself.

This was a back and forth you and Light Yagami often shared ever since you joined the Japanese Task Force. Light, the esteemed man he is, never places doubt in his ability not only to seduce women, but to get what he wants, whatever that may be; in this case, it was you. You, on the other hand, prided yourself on being strong- a stubborn person with an unwavering will, someone who could out-work and out-show the men who thought they were better than you. Often you forgot the end goals of your little adventures to prove yourself better than, getting caught up in the chase of it all. You and Light’s relationship was a quite hectic blend of both of your guys’ stubborn behavioral habits, and neither of you would settle for losing.

-----------------

“Light-kun, it’s getting quite late. You two aren’t tired?” L asks, glancing at you and Light, as the three of you were the only ones remaining in the main area of task force headquarters. Everyone else had either gone home or gone to their designated rooms in the building.

“No, There’s a lot of work to be done so I’m fine with sacrificing a little sleep.” Light glances at you briefly. You knew he was expecting to be left alone with you, but you decide to push the envelope a little further. You refused to give into him; at this point, your ego and desire to not lose rivaled his.

“Actually, Ryuzaki, you’re right. I’m gonna head to bed.” You wave goodnight to the men, sending Light an innocent smile as you walk upstairs to your room. 

You made yourself comfortable in your bed, as surprisingly Light had taken several hours to come upstairs- he didn’t want to chase after you, you assumed. Though, you could see how desperate he was through his facade.

Eventually, though, the door to your room opens with a creek, as Light steps his way inside and locks it behind him.

“Oh, hi Light. Do you need something?”

“Don’t play stupid.” Light runs his fingers through his caramel hair, frustrated. He walks over to where you sat on the edge of the bed, taking your jaw in his tight grip and forcing you to look at him.

“What was that all about, huh?” He places his hand on your leg, sliding further and further upwards as he speaks. “Teasing me as if you have the right. Have you forgotten who you’re talking to? I don’t appreciate the bratty behavior.” His fingers return to the position they were earlier, softly brushing up and down over your clothed heat. You bite your lip, holding back a moan; you weren’t going to give into him this easily. No, this was a competition for pride, and you were determined to win.

“Actually, Light,” You push his hands away from you, standing up, “I’ve had quite a long day. I’m gonna go get some rest, maybe you should too?” You remark before leaving, shutting the door behind you and finding another room to sleep in. You were going to win.

----------------

“Are you guys coming with?”

You stand in the main hub of task force headquarters near Light, as L was on a seperate floor working and the rest of the task force was getting ready to leave for lunch.

“No, sorry, I wanna finish this work as soon as possible. But Matsuda, do you mind bringing Y/N and I something back?”

You whip your head towards him with a sour look as he volunteered you to stay with him- alone.

“Sure, text me what you want!” Matsuda exclaims cheerfully before leaving with the other detectives. 

The loud slam of the door echoing through the large half-vacant room did not draw your attention away from your work, as you were determined to remain focused.

“You know, Y/N,” Light stands up from his chair, approaching you from behind where you sat. You take in a breath, preparing yourself for the antics he was about to pull.

“You never did apologize to me.” He places his long slender hands on your shoulders from behind, slowly rubbing up and down.

“Apologize? What do I need to apologize for?”

“For being a fucking brat.”

Light abruptly grabs the sides of the chair and spins you around to face him, his nose almost poking yours and his hot breath tickling your face, flushing your cheeks red. You take the opportunity of your close proximity to lock eyes with him, slightly shaking your head no, your confidence unbreaking. 

With haste, Light knots a finger in your hair and roughly pulls you towards the nearest table, shoving you chest-first into it. He smacks your ass, earning a yelp from you. “How hard is it to follow fucking instructions? God, is your ego that big?”

He creeps his hand up your legs, dipping under your skirt and pulling your panties down to pool around your ankles. He runs his fingers up your slit, leaning down to whisper in your ear, “Just give into me...”

You shake your head as best you can with Light still gripping the roots of your hair and whine out a small “Nuh-uh.”

He dips two fingers inside you, curling his fingers upwords and making a beckoning motion inside of you. Quickly, he pulls his digits out, extending his hand to force you to suck on them. “Hmm, taste all that? It sure looks like you want to give into me...”

You pitifully whine around his fingers, pushing your backside to press against the bulge forming in his pants, asking for more.

“See? I knew you were needy for me.” He removes his fingers from your mouth and slips them back into your cunt, pumping in and out at a steady pace before adding a third finger. You pathetically squirm under his methodical movements; he was too good at this. You try to bite back your moans to save your confidence, but soon fail as Light scissors his fingers inside of you.

“Mm, I love the sounds you make, you sound like such a slut.”

Light increases his pace and depth, curling his fingers against your walls until his fingers were no longer visible. His manipulation of your senses drew your orgasam out quicker than you expected, causing you to clench against his digits. Light, sensing this, promptly removes his fingers from you, causing you to whine.

“Light...”

“What, you think I’m gonna let you finish?” He chuckles leaning down to speak in your ear, “Just say you’re sorry, Y/N. It’s not that hard, really.”

“I have nothing to apologize for.” You pant. 

He smacks your backside again, the hand-print stinging with the frustration building up inside the man. “Don’t talk back to me, brat. You know, you’re really being difficult and I don’t appreciate it. Maybe I should just leave you here...” He removes his grip from you and begins to walk away, and you’ve never felt more alone without your arch enemy.

“No, Light...” You bite your lip as you call him, the swing to your ego panging your chest.

“Hm, what’s that?”

“Light...” You look away, feeling embarrassment bubble inside your stomach.

“You only get what you beg for, Y/N. I can’t hear you...” He walks closer to you, a smirk forming on his lips as he backs you against the table, “C’mon, pet. Beg for me to fuck you, I know you want to.” He places a soft touch on your clit, rubbing it slowly in circles.

Against everything you’ve been fighting for this whole time, against your pride, your body was aching and obeyed, “Light, Kira, I need you so badly, please, please just fuck me already.”

“Hm, I don’t know. Are you sorry?”

“Yes, yes, I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” His tone grows more stern.

“For being a brat, for teasing you, for not listening to you, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, just please, touch me....”

Light hums in appreciation as he unbuckles his belt, tossing it on the floor and pulling himself out of his tan pants, “Mm, that’s Kira’s good girl, I knew you’d come around.” He pumps himself a few times, sliding the head of his cock up and down your slit, pushing slightly in every now and again just to evoke a mewl from you.

A slew of “please”s and begging whines spilled from your lips like a desperate prayer as Light continued his torturous teasing.

“You’re nothing but Kira’s pet, right?”

You nod rapidly.

“And you’d do anything for me? You’re mine, mine to use how I please and dispose of? Mine to use as a fucktoy?”

You nod again without question.

“Good, that’s what I like to hear.” Light rewards you, finally pushing himself inside of you after what felt like an eternity. He rocks his hips to meet yours as he stretches your walls out, the moans from both of you mixing in the echoey room.

“God, Y/N, you feel so good. All this time I’ve waited...”

“Fuck, Kira,” You cry, wrapping your legs around Light’s waist, pulling him as close as possible. Your fingers curl into the hard, cold desk beneath you in an attempt to grapple with the amount of stimulation you were receiving.

His forehead came to rest on yours as he pounded into you relentlessly, “God, you’re such a good little slut for me Y/N, yeah? Nothing but a dirty fucking slut for my cock, fuck you take me so well.”

“Light, I’m gonna cum...” Your loud moans were hiccuped by the rhythm of Light rocking into you.

“Cum for me Y/N, cum all over my cock like the slut you are, make a mess so everyone knows how good I make you feel, how you’re mine and only mine to use for my pleasure.”

The harsh words that tickled your face encouraged your on-coming orgasam as you soon came around Light. He continued to thrust into you until he threw his head back with a groan, cumming inside of you.

Light pulled himself out and tucked himself back into his pants, tidying up his appearance with still labored breath. “Don’t even bother to clean up,” He head tired at the sticky liquid that was leaking down your legs and dampening the table beneath you, “Everyone knows you’re just a slut anyways, might as well let them know you’re my slut.” He winks before leaving the main room, walking off into a seperate hallway presumably to collect himself.

You stood up from the table, still panting. The fight was over, you had lost. Lost. Lost to the man who always seemed to win despite being plagued by misfortune. You huff, pulling your clothes back on and allowing the sting of losing your pride battle with Light Yagami to overpower the pain you felt in your lower half.

[satans-left-asscheeky]

Companions discovering that Sole is like… 14? And that somehow this terrifying force of nature (and possibly one of the scariest people they know) is a literal child? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It started with little things... Aggressive intimation, blackmail and even a bit of some good hearted brawls. That they were okay with, but what really caught they're attention was when sole decapitated a group of Raiders and put their heads on pikes just for trying to rob them.... Thats when they knew they were following the scariest, most cutthroat person in the commonwealth...

That's why after the battle they got in their head to confront sole, but little did they know or expect that mid conversation sole's helmet would be removed revealing their ...... baby face?

Maccready

"What The hell!?"

Oh. my. God. They were a kid? what the hell were they doing dragging around a merc at their age? not that they needed it given the past display.... Once he got over his initial shock he'd realize they weren't that different from him at 14

"Huh you kinda remind me of me when I was your age..."

He'd be brought back to his memories of little lamplight and hed probably bore the shit outta sole with his non stop stories. On a more serious note he's gonna keep them safe with all of his being because becoming a parent really changed his veiw on kids in the wastes.... Even if they are pint sized badasses.

Hancock

"Well look at you... just barely big enough to hold a gun and you got the world figured out? better than most folks I reckon."

Hes impressed. At soles age he was still hiding jet under his mattress, sneaking outta his house in diamond city to make-out with the girl next door and being an all around menace to society in the way only a preteen can.... he wonders if they'dve been friends if they had met back then? nah sole would've probably kicked his ass and he'dve probably deserved it.

Cait

"Well aren't you something ya little shite. remind me not to piss ya off.... christ"

She thinks it's hilarious if not a bit terrifying. The most deadly person in the commonwealth is 14 and 5ft.... says a lot about the state of things in her mind.

Danse

"What the hell was that!?

His heart would drop when he saw their tiny face. They were barely old enough to start having responsibility let alone be wandering the wastes.... how did they get out here? no wonder they were so violent they're probably used to people taking advantage of them.

"Listen, I don't know how you ended up out here, but I think you should consider training with scribes your own age. It's important to not take life to fast to avoid.... Discrepancies such as earlier. Train along side your brothers and sisters hone your raw talent into something more than just survival of the fittest.

If they agreed hed personally take them under his wing and teech them all he knows. He would feel a strange sense of pride everytime he fills our a report of their latest accomplishment. proud doesn't do justice to how he feels.

Curie

She'd be rescued by a masked individual in vault 81. Only as they took their helmet off to administer the cure to Austin, did she notice it. They were a child themselves maybe 13/14. A sense of fear for the child's saftey came over her that's why she wanted to go with them. A feeling she would all too soon realize was in vain.

"Oh was decapitation really necessary? Are all children so violent these days?"

After watching the kid make quick and grusemon work of a particularly cut-throat group of Raiders shes very weary of the kid, but also kinda glad to be on their good side? I mean there's nobody else she'd rather have watching her back, but she's scared to get on their bad side.....

Deacon

"There was the old pre-war film called children of the corn..... ya kinda remind me of that"

He thinks they're terrifying. He knew since before he met them that they were only a kid, and his opinion had been the same then, as it is now. He knows what a fucked up childhood can do to someone, but damn.... This was another level... and he was gonna do everything in his power to keep this kid on his and the railroads good side.

Piper

"Well that's just wrong on so many levels...."

She gets the wastland makes people grow up fast, but there's no amount of desensitization that will get you used to an emotionless cut-throat preteen.....

Nick

"Look kid... I get it. Life's hard, but you get back what you give and right now what you're giving is all sorts of messed up..."

He believes wholeheartedly in karma... and this.... He couldn't just watch this kid continue down this self destructive path. especially when he knows first hand what it takes for a person to get to that point..... he'll try hard to mentor them and get them to soften even if just a little...

Preston

"General! That's not how we represent the minutemen. You're acting more like a raider."

he understands anger and resentment, but something about this person's violent tendencies made him feel uncomfortable.... Like everything about it was just all wrong

Thats when they'd take their helmet off cheeks flushed red with anger. He would would freeze. The general of the minutemen was..... a child? I mean it's not like he had them fill out an application, but he had expected them to be older.

"Where are your parents!?

It would slip out of his mouth before he'd have time to fully think it through.

"Where are yours!!

They'd retort with the same harshness the raiders had seen earlier. They'd go on like this for a while before Preston would realize he wasn't wining by fighting with them and would chose to kinda adopt them instead.... They clearly needed guidance after all.

X6-88

"I like you"

If all kids were like this he may just consider adoption.

[saitama-division]

Round 2 — Lola: “Ah yes, the talent show, one of my favorite parts about these types of events. Everyone here really brought their A-game here, I was genuinely impressed for the most part, however, there were a few that kinda fell short, alright, let’s go down the list.”

Kyler — “Those were some pretty cool moves, dude though I will admit it was kinda boring until the fire part and even then the excitement didn’t last long but you played into their strengths and ultimately did not disappoint, well done.”

Joey — “Okay, I’ll admit, that was cool as hell and seriously impressive, I like to think I’m a pretty perceptive person and have keen eyes but even you managed to pull the wool over my eyes a few times, incredible performance.”

Ren — “Ooooh, okay Mr. Showoff, you’re just filled with surprises aren’t ya? Although it’s not my preferred weapon of choice, I know it takes a whole lot of skill and dexterity to be able to wield it with such grace and accuracy as Ren did, definitely received points from me, amazing.”

Kunio — “AHAHAHAHA, Oh my fucking god, did y’all see Rose’s face? Girl looked like she was about to piss herself! Fucking amazing, just for that alone, you receive full marks! Good fucking show, dude. Absolutely nailed it with the horror and magic, 10 outta 10.”

Lyall — “Holy fucking shit…give me a minute…oh my fucking god that so fucking hot, God Lyall, you’re really making it hard not to just jump you right now, national television be damned. Look, I know I have like twelve more people to get through but I’ll just come out and say it, this was the best performance I’ve seen, you already got my vote, babes.”

Seiji — “Holy fuck, that took me back. I’m genuinely impressed, even if you’re a cop, it’s very clear that you are a very skilled one or at the l’est know what the fuck you’re doing. It was quick and efficient with just a tiny bit of flair, well done.”

Rintaro — “Alright, that was cool but it got boring pretty quick, like I was expecting some flips or something, shit, at least Aranai managed to spice it up a little, all you did was do wheelies and ride backwards, like c’mon man…do something!”

Kyō — “Whoaa, nice tricks! Like Shian, I know jack shit about surfing but watching you do all those tricks is making me consider getting into it…maybe…probably…anyways, that was really cool and you did a nice job.”

Asato — “Pfft, okay, boring dance aside, it was really funny just watching how emotionless and blank Asato looked while performing, if you were trying to make us laugh then congratulations, you definitely got a good chuckle out of me.”

Ryuko — “Holy shit that was so fucking cool! Don’t know the reference but the action and how cool it was definitely made up for it! You really have some skill, Ryuko, keep impressing me and you’ll earn yourself a fan, maybe a little reward from yours truly if you really wow me.”

Yano — “I’ve been to many, many casinos so I’m definitely familiar with Cardistry but somehow you still managed to impress me, good for you. You were so nimble with it too, it makes me wonder what else your fingers can do?…haha, kidding, kidding, I know Sakura has a bit of a claim on you, sweetie but I couldn’t help but to tease a bit, you know what it is.”

Maki — “Oh damn, I definitely did not expect…that. Shit, I think it’s safe to say that we were all surprised, and this is the same guy who gets scared around a bunch of teenagers? Huh…interesting, well anyways, that was an okay performance and that’s all I really have to say.”

Karada — “God, I will never get over how fucking hot you are, babes. Not only do you have a pretty face but there’s just something about the display of raw strength that just..really gets me going fufu…the things I’m thinking of, yeah, you know…so many possibilities.”

Tomi — “Tomi…darling…great performance, really, don’t get me wrong but…it was just so…bland…kinda quoting Shian here but in a pageant, this is one of the few chances you get to really put yourself out there, it has to be big! It has to be show stopping! But instead you played the violin like this is a middle school talent show instead of a nationwide pageant…kinda disappointing.”

Yorii — “Great singing as always Yorii, it felt like I was being guided by sirens into the deep depths of the sea but we literally have a round dedicated to music so using it here just feels like a cop out, y’know? For your sake, I hope what you have for the music competition will be something big.”

Kotan — “Not surprising that the guy who comes from the coldest division would have some amazing ice skating skills, you definitely redeemed yourself from the first round, I genuinely don’t have anything bad to say about this, this was well coordinated and beautifully executed, really nice.”

Rashaad — “Leave it to Rashaad for making the best drinks in Japan and showing off while doing so. Again, I have nothing negative to say, that was cool as fuck and now I want a drink so fucking bad. Amazing, Rashaad, just fucking amazing.”

Ace — “Ace…it was good, I guess, I’ve played pool before and really, nobody, not even me could even come close to the trick shots you made. You really know your stuff, huh? Nice.”

Let’s have a word with our Judges!

@saitama-division @okinawa-division @minato-division01 @shizuokadivision @akihabara-division03

[sleep3deprived]

Hellooo may I request a kuudere s/o with tokrev characters with baji,draken and any charc of your choice :) thank you!!

Tokyo Revengers with a Kuudere S/O

Pairings: Baji Keisuke x Reader, Ryuguji "Draken" Ken x Reader (Seperate)

Warnings: Some language and suggestive jokes

Genre: Fluff, Comedy ?

Requests: OPEN

Note: Hi!! This was interesting to write but I enjoyed it, thank you for reading! :D

Baji Keisuke

It’s funny because not a lot of people expected you to end up with somebody like Baji

Like if you look at him, this eccentric, over-the-top, and energetic person

And then there’s you

Someone whos calm, and always collected.

Not that it’s a bad thing

It’s amusing at times though

When you notice Baji acting up, or wanting to start a fight, one word of his name from you and this boy is walking off like he almost didn’t just want to pummel someone

“You wanna fight, huh? Ugly ass, better get outta my way before-”

“Baji.”

“Oh wow, look a pet shop, let’s see if they have any cats!”

He tries his best to make you flustered.

And it works ??

The most he’s gotten out of you so far is a deep blush where you hid your face in your hands.

He doesn’t hold back and uses anything to make you lose your cool.

“I’m really hungry right now. You have anything?” You asked him. Cool and simple.

“Oh baby, if you wanted me, all you have to do is ask.”

You didn’t know whether you should cringe or blush

Honestly, the first time you and Baji met was entertaining

All you see is this boy who didn’t believe in love at first sight till he saw you

And all you wanted to do was mind your own business, but no.

Here comes a teenage boy, who is now holding your hands and asking you out and you trying to get out of the situation

“Please, marry me!”

“No.”

“A date then!”

You look him up and down “No.”

Apparently, you were also new to the school, and after some persisting, and him tuning his hyper down with you, you eventually said yes and found him to be a genuine person.

Sure, on the outside you come off as a bit blunt and calm, but with Baji, you experience emotions that no one else gives you.

Ryuguji “Draken” Ken

What can I even say for this one?

It wasn’t like this was never seen to happen

But it’s also like it never will either

Some middle ground honestly, depends who you ask

But, it’s not a bad match I guess

Draken actually likes how chill you are

He spends sm time with Mikey doing random shit, mans needs a break

Over the time you and Draken have been dating, he’s come to understand and learn your cues of anything really

Like when your walking and take a hold of his sleeve to drag him to a shop you want to see

Or if you two are ever at a party or hanging with others and you start being way too blunt, he knows you want to leave

One of Draken’s favourite things though is when he makes you laugh

Sure, you chuckle, giggle and laugh at things with him a lot, but I mean laughing laughing.

So Draken sometimes makes it his daily mission for it to happen at least once a day maybe

The reason he realized it was when he was lecturing Mikey, in return had Mitsuya lecturing Draken for going along.

Which led them to all start yelling embarrassing moments with each other

God, you tried to hold in your laugh so bad but once it came out, the boys just stared at you

“Holy fuck, that’s your girl.”

“Yup, that’s my girl”

Like you can’t blame them

You’ve never laughed like this ever in front of them so it was pretty much a surprise.

You should’ve seen the way Draken was looking at you

The way you laughed made you look...ethereal

The slight flush of your cheeks, the way you titled your head up, your hair falling back

You looked beautiful

Which has now led to Draken doing anything he can to see it again

And when he does, he feels like the luckiest man ever.

[katesmemes]

feel free to change any pronouns, etc.

“The day’s finally here.”

“We’ve been through a lot in that time.”

“You know that I care about you.”

“I just want what’s best for you.”

“I’m cool with a hug if you are.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

“It’s always better to give an honest answer.”

“You don’t need to worry, really.”

“Luck or not, I have officially cheated death.”

“I’m surprised you got outta there with both your hands.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this again.”

“I’m loquacious, goddammit. It’s charming.”

“It’s really nice to have you here.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I don’t think it helps to recap all the gory details, you know?”

“So you’re saying you want me to lie to cover your ass?”

“She is the best thing to ever happen to me.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Oh my god, look at your face—”

“Why do you give a shit?”

“Oh god, were you there, too?”

“I get so worked up thinking about you with him.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“I can tell there’s something going on with you.”

“I don’t expect you to believe me.”

“You’re fucking with me, right?”

“I have no idea what’s going on with people half the time.”

“I’m here for you. Don’t forget that.”

“You wanna tell me how you got out here?”

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“Fuck those guys.”

“It’s not your job to keep it together.”

“How ya holding up?”

“He could bring a smile to my face even on the worst days.”

“I should get an emotional support dog, but, like— for other people.”

“My job is to keep people safe, and I failed.”

“Oof. That’s a lot of blood, huh?”

“You’re stuck with me now.”

“This is like a bad dream…”

“Oh, that sounds like a nice idea.”

“No one will be disappointed in you for being you.”

“What is wrong with me?”

“When did I become such a fucking monster.”

“Why couldn’t you just fucking listen?”

“I don’t need to take this.”

“I know you tried to do the right thing.”

“It’s always flattering to see how much you care about me.”

“You know I’m spoken for, right?”

“I wasn’t mentally prepared for that at all.”

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“I really wanna kiss you right now.”

“I think I can figure it out.”

“Don’t make this hard.”

“What’re you so scared of?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know you’re used to looking out for yourself.”

“I want to help you.”

“[Name], why are you sad?”

“What’re you doing?”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“I made a mistake… The kind of thing that you can’t undo.”

“Go to hell.”

“I suppose I’m proud of you for trying.”

“It’s going to be okay, do you understand me?”

“I am going to be okay.”

“You don’t think you missed anything?”

“Did I miss something?”

“I want you to make me a promise.”

“You have to be strong.”

“This is going to suck so bad.”

“You know that’s not how it went down, right?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“Despite what you may believe, you do not know everything.”

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“It’s okay, it was just an accident.”

“I can’t do this.”

“You need to be honest about what you see.”

“No one gets to tell you what you’re worth.”

“You can change the world.”

“What the hell happened?”

“Sometimes, when we’re hurting, the people we lash out at are the one who are trying to help.”

“How can you stand there and say these things?”

“I believe you. Of course I do.”

“I don’t want any more of this.”

“All I know is everything falls to shit when you’re involved.”

“There’s something wrong with you, and now there’s something wrong with me.”

“I can’t help you, I’m sorry.”

“You believe me, right?”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I thought we were in this together.”

“I thought you cared about me.”

“Maybe I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Can you ever forgive me?”

“How can I ever trust you again?”

“I’m not used to getting to decide what I want.”

[akitaauthority]

TFP If You Ship...

Ultra Magnus

I would also like to warn yall, I do roast the shit outta these ships and you. Some of y'all are nasty and need to be told/reminded, and some of you need to stay far the fuck away from me. Aight? Aight lets begin.

MagOp/OpMag/Magnimus/ Ultra Magnus x Optimus Prime: You pretentious bitch. You absolute fucking- I have no fucking words to describe how beige you are. You 're personality is plain oatmeal. Message me. I want to beat your ass. You prolly like them for the fact that they can relate to each other, and because of their importance to the war. But I hate you cause you also have more content. Fuck you. May your cereal turn soggy before you can eat that shit, may your drawing tablet get so hot in that one corner that you can fry bacon on that bitch. Fuck you.

MagMeg/Magatron(ew)/ Ultra Magnus x Megatron: you eat mayonnaise with a fucking spoon. Y'all saw that one scene with them on Darkmount and was just like "hm, but what if fuck?" and ran with it. You went to Ao3 expecting kinky shit, but all you got was stuff for IDW Megs and Mags and honestly baby, its gon' be okay.

Matchet/Ragus?/ Ultra Magnus x Ratchet: Yes we get it, the old man can dom now shut the fuck up. If taking your S/O to the nursing home as a date was a ship it'd be these old crotchety ass bitches. But, but, on a more serious note this ship can be so therapeutic for both mechs. These two were there way before the start of the war, they lived through it, and they knew Optimus all throughout. I imagine Ratchet would tell Magnus about Orion before his ascension to the primacy. I ain't ever been more depressed scrolling through a tag though, y'all broke bitches need whatever the fuck UltraScreen is having.

Magbee/Ultra Bumble/Ultra Magnus x Bee: I ain't ever seen two same heighted Cybertronians in a relationship, always one of'em gotta be spike suckin' height.

UltraJack/ Ultra Magnus x Wheeljack: Listen, listen, both these mechs love their solitary time and it can create so much angst, SO MUCH. Magnus feeling he must uphold his duties and Wheeljack having a mindset similar to a pirate. His spark belongs to the stars AND Magnus, but the stars will always come first. But bitch this is Ultra Magnus. We horny. We know Wheeljack is a fucking brat, and Ultra Magnus is his Dom.... baby we nasty. We nasty and there is no fucking denying that shit my GOD.

Ultrabulk/ Ultra Magnus x Bulkhead: Listen man as crazy as this might sound, I think this could work. Just like any other ship with Bulkhead you are fucking STRUGGLING though dude, you got like 5 fics you keep coming back to. You cry at night, knowing, and praying, that the gods will smile upon you and bless you with an update. You know you struggling when you only got three fics that have this ship as the focus. If y'all ban together I'm sure you can scrounge together like three pieces of fanart and a lint roller between the four of you.

UltraScream/ Ultra Magnus x Starscream: I don't see how anyone could hate this ship. Like, they literally work as really good foils to each other. You've got Magnus who is loyal as fuck, very militaristic??? And very much involved with the safety of his team. He's described as recklessly brave. Starscream on the other hand has a lot of character to work on and Magnus could help him along with that, and he can teach Magnus self preser- fucking-vation because Mr. "gets fucking chomped by a predacon for another bitchass Autobot" needs it. You're fuckass wants someone to save you, or you want to go absolutely apeshit. You are the mom friend everyone is worried about.

Ultracee/ Ultra Magnus x Arcee: Huh?? I mean like....Okaaaayy?? I mean good for you. This ship makes me feel the way that you feel when someone offers you candy you don't like, but you wouldn't mind eating it so you do. To be honest the people who ship this definitely see diamonds in places others wouldn't expect, but like you're so fucking unnessecary oh my god. Like you prolly add weird ass comments to other peoples statements, ain't nobody out here asking for an echo. Sit down.

UltraShock: ya like'em thicc don't you commanding officer Ultra Magnus? Anyway maybe y'all could team up with UltraBulk shippers and add a pile of used soda cans to the pile. Y'all are ghosts, do you even exist on this plane. My guesstimate on how many people actually ship this forreal is like 5.

Ultrawave/MagnusSound/Magnus x Soundwave: Listen if the Ultrabulk shippers are starving y'all ain't even corporeal. I show up to this ship with a fucking ghost talk box and some heat sensors, and like one boombox tryna see if GHOSTS even inhabit this bitch. Y'all aight? Are y'all good?? HELLO IN THERE (hello in there) (hello in there). Yall really go all out for the goth shit. Prolly hidin' in the shadows of my house waiting to strike.

Ultrascreen:

You, and I mean this in the most (derogatory) way possible, are a fucking

HOE

Literally looked on AO3 saw nearly NOTHING BUT kinky MF PORN. The oooonly plot y'all got is exactly how long Ultra Magnus can deny Smokescreen an overload. Why every time it comes to Magnus people make this by the books vanilla bitch the kinkiest one. YES I love subverting expectations but can I PLEASE get one fic where he sputters because his partner says a bad word. These two are the main ones who get this treatment, and baby I ain't complaining, but please. Please just- please sir I-I a-ah!

Ultradown: The UltraBulk, and UltraWave shippers come here every year, at the exact same location, at the exact same time, all for this ritual. The UltraWave shippers take out a boombox, some energon candies, and a supersized Cybertronian false spike. The UltraBulkers begin to sing the incantation to summon their fallen comrade: https://youtu.be/m9We2XsVZfc. They must do this once every year, they must battle the UltraDown shippers, though most would say they are a myth, the UltraShock and UltraWave shippers know better.

MagnusOut/KnockMagnusOut?/Ultra Knockout: Listen its not as horny as Smokescreen but the constant tension is definitely there. Knockout is just as horny as the depressed, RE-pressed ass Magnus fans and can you really blame him? Boyfriend? Dead. Magnus? kinky. Hotel? California.

/If I missed any let my gay ass know. Sorry if this ones lackluster, but some of these ships don't even really seem to have a fanbase?? Remember that these are TFP ships y'all.

Also I better see more Bulkhead content after this. Do you all have a problem with truly thicc bootyful babes or what?

[wait----------what]

Welp lots happened since this one so imma start

- the tomorrow city area wasn't like what I'd hopped for tbh like yeah it was total sci-fi future tech but it was a lil too tron for my tastes ig, was really holdin out hope for a more steampunk vibe cause of all the gears you have to find n exposed hears is more steampunk than whatever was goin on there

- kinda miffed i couldn't figure a way to get that colar but atleast you can buy the other goofy parts later on

-oswald you came at kinda a bad time but still OSWALD :D

- again the fight with pete anamatronic was entirely based on tron n the whole point of waste land bein 'forgotten shit' it'd be cool to see more of the old designs that tommorow land had cause alot of it was more steampunk/ jewls vern type ideas with a lot more brass n copper n it'd be cooler to have that type of thing cause the first area where you get the nautilus up (i forgotten to mention thay before but that was real fuckin cool) was kinda more the vibe I though it would've been

- looks like goofy won't be fallin to peices anytime soon :)

- hey I finally got ortensia's house open i wonder what insi- oh her children are standin sadly around one end of the room with their heads down? ummm mabey they're just a lil tired? yeah, no thats her locket thats- gods that probably that last thing they have of hers isn't it?

- . . .goofy what the fuck man, first its not mine to give n second why the fuck would I give it to the museum for a few crappy e bucks???

- you could say mickeys heart grew a size given that locket back to oswald, huh?

- haha that bitch face smee gave gus dude I never thought smee woulda been the sassy one XD

- awwww that's kinda sweet that pirate guy havin a crush

I'm the wing man - er wing mouse? cool I got you man flowers are easy to get

Nvm the game's glitched out so she's gettin ice cream instead, ooof that was ruff buddy should found this shit out for your self anyways

(now I feel bad cause everytime I look over he mopein around)

- wait. . .im supposed to be gettin a teddy bear for this guy? that's super sweet actually kinda reminds me of just how fucked up the peter pan book was given that all the pirates are the lost boys that lived, makes sense a bunch of them wouldn't have grown 'up' into social norms like that dumb 'adults cant sleep with toys that's childish', which is complete bull shit {im not about to give mine up I've got enough trouble sleepin already thank you very much >:( }

- daisy you scared the fuckin life outta me! you gotta warn a guy before you start a cut scene!!

oof I get your upset cause you don't know where your bf is but damn whatd goofy ever do to you??

- damn pirates just abandonin ship like this is kinda makes the place eerie like these fucks never gave a damn before but they think this is too dangerous to keep goin?? what the fuck am I meant to do about it??

- gus... what do ya mean dont ask you how you know what the prison key looks like? that's the only thing I'm gonna be thinkin about now! hell I might even draw it later. . .

anyways I've got a 6-ish hour round car trip tommorow so don't expect to see anythin for here

Bye

I just started playin epic mickey for the first time (I thought I'd played it before but idk if I ever managed to get that far in wo my brother wantin to play ( he basically just wanted to watch me play it a la lets play style) that stupid princess game

Soooo lets get this shit on the road like I did for batdr

- mickey you dick

- its nice for a tutorial where you can actually die in I've not got one of those in a while n its nice to know that 'don't step in the green stuff' actual means go ahead n jump in it if you like but it ain't gonna be good for you

- OSWALD :D

- oooooh the art style for those cut scenes are fuckin amazin! its kinda a lil grainy like its all been draw in by pencil with a couple stray strokes here n there its so cool!

- so I'm basically doin the same shit the guy from who framed roger rabbit did? ( this one came from my dad since he was in the room doin work cause we'd meant to play em2 cause its a 2 player but it wouldn't start)

- gettin some major undertale vibes from the paint to befriend, thinner to kill thing so far

- holy fuck that projector-travel-platformer is so cool, especially with the edges of the film reel at the side of the screen, would've been cooler if it had the same 2d effect the cut scenes had goin on to really tie the old cartoon vibe together cause mockey kinda stands out in the wii-3d-graphic way

- welp. . .geuss helpin those trapped guys really was useful after all

- all the references to Alice's adventures in wonderland/alice through the looking glass have been real neat so far, like the but at the first cut scene (which given that its happening in the the 'real world makes scence that its the typical style that the rest of the game is in) n the fact that you're followin a rabbit deeper n deeper into this world is super cool!

Idk that's kinda it for now . . . Bye:D