#oh god its the saddest thing in the world

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 25

Pyrrha really is committed to mentioning that she found Gideon’s mother attractive in every conversation that she has with her, i admire the dedication 

haha what the fuck is this. Kiriona Gaia Her Divine Highness

MUMFUCKER PRIME ngl the bad jokes are mostly the only reason i’m pretty sure this is actually Gideon and not some doppelganger. idk whether its all the trauma she’s built up over the last two books or just having to be in the general proximity of Ianthe and John for an extended period of time, but something is up with this gal

'Judith Deuteros for some reason’ i relate to this on a fundamental level given i genuinely didn’t realise that Judith was here until this moment

as much as it pains me that two of my favourite characters immediately Do Not Vibe with eachother, Gid being a dick to Nona makes sense given Nona is currently occupying the body of the person Gideon cares the most about in the world, who is themselves god-only-knows-where rn. props to Tamsyn Muir for making the bold creative choice to have her protagonists all just fucking loathe each other at some point

okay there is no way in hell that Gideon actually wants to go back to the ninth for nostalgia. unless it's nostalgia for dunking on Crux

‘it was not a very friendly smile [...] there was something a little bit hungry about it’ haha what the fuck. really said let’s dial up the ‘came back wrong’ trope to eleven here. what in the Jason Todd is this

well miss ‘I am the Emperor’s construct’ has come a long way since ‘Go to hell Pops’, this was NOT what i meant when i said i wanted more of Gideon and John interacting this book 😭😭

tamsyn muir really said ‘oh you want Gideon back? i’m going to give you what you want in the most painful way possible’ huh. this is uh somehow worse than her dying actually :)

Gideon actually knowing anything about necromancy is the most disturbing part of all of this. what happened Gid i thought you and me were on a team of this ‘necromancy is confusing as all hell’ thing. can’t believe you’d betray me like this smh

also given we last saw Gid finding out she was born as a ‘bomb’ to open the tomb, and how much she hated everything about the Ninth other than Harrow, i am very concerned about why she suddenly wants to come with to open the Tomb

the saddest girl in the whole world is Gideon??? GIDEON?? the presence of Noodle in this book lulled me into a false sense of security so that i forgot just how much this series loves breaking my heart over and over again 

i know everyone already knows from the broadcast (and possibly before if Pyrrha told them) but i do wonder how Corona, and Pal & Cam etc. reacted to finding out Gideon was God’s daughter. imagine having to deal with the revelation that the deity you are becoming increasingly disillusioned with has a kid that spent much of the time you knew her making terrible sex jokes

[marunalu]

Apologies for disturbing you, and I promise this won’t be a natural occurrence, but I just remember the post you said about how a “particular individual” doesn’t read the chapters that doesn’t have Bakugou, and is so wrapped in her own delusions with her favorite ship, that I just HAD to add more to the fact she really is so caught up in her own fantasy land that she had THIS tweet.

Like…does she not remember what DEKU was? She is either the master of trolls, and is pulling us all for the ride, or she is so far gone and is a complete joke.

Oh dont worry, you are not disturbing me at all! 🤗

Oh my god I remember that post of hers and back then my reaction was a mix of this

This

And this

And the most moronic thing about this is that not only does she ignore that the nickname "deku" bakugou gave izuku is like one of the cruelest insults you can give a person with a physical disability, she also ignores that it was OCHAKO who turned that horrible nickname into something positive which inspired izuku and that THIS is the reason why he IMMEDIATELY tells ochako that she can call him deku from now on (while clearly showing his huge crush on her), because NOW thanks to OCHAKO the name means something positiv, but when bakugou calls him by that nickname he has NOTHING positiv in mind!

She pretends that it was bakugou who gave the name "deku" that positiv meaning because in her delulu bakudeku fantasy world bakugou was always in love with izuku so he never meant the nickname as an insult despite the story CLEARLY pointing that out! And the saddest part is that her hivemind of a follwership on xitter actually buys all of that! Its already bad enough if you have one of them spreading all that nonsense, but even more if a few hundred people clearly show that their reading comprehension is also as non existent!

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

OK you have piqued my curiosity. What is Malevolent?

oh i'm so glad you asked :D

malevolent is a horror podcast based on lovecraftian mythos by harlan guthrie, who not only writes, edits, soundscapes, and composes the entire thing, he also voices every single character, by some force of alchemy i don't claim to understand.

the show is about arthur lester, a 1930s private investigator who is english but lives in arkham, massachusetts. he is simultaneously the saddest, wettest cat you'll ever meet, the most terrifying badass with a thirst for violence, the hugest cunt, and the kindest soul who refuses to give up on hope no matter what.

it opens with arthur (temporarily) unable to remember who or where he is. he's completely blind. a voice speaks to him, gentle but totally inhuman. the voice is inside his head, and tells arthur that his eyes belong to it now. there's a dead body at arthur's feet.

there's only so much i can explain without big spoilers, but basically, a book was sent to arthur's office, and when arthur opened this book, an entity from another world was released into him, where it took control of his sight. the entity can't leave of its own volition, and in fact isn't sure who or what it is either. they have no choice but to work together to figure out who sent the book and why, if they ever hope to be able to separate again.

things, of course, aren't that simple. arthur is now wanted for murder, and as arthur starts chasing leads, otherwordly things start chasing him back, including a powerful elder god known as the king in yellow.

arthur spends a month in a coma after being stabbed; when he wakes up, the entity - who has been awake and alone the entire time - tells him that the kind nurse who spoke to them every day called them 'john doe' and the entity... rather liked the sound of it. he asks to be called john.

arthur and john are both incredibly stubborn assholes who fight and bicker more often than not, who both tend to lash out and hurt each other when they're angry or afraid, but as they're forced to cooperate, as john learns about humanity through both arthur's eyes and arthur's extensions of kindness, they grow to care for each other. they grow to trust each other, even after they've betrayed each other.

they grow to love each other. it's explicitly not romantic and never will be, by harlan's statements, but it's also explicitly love. (i will die on the aromantic arthur hill.) they grow to become one whole, fucked up, multiply-divorced, utterly devoted symbiotic being, no longer desperate to separate but to keep each other. they are the dearest, most codependent, most bitchy, most beloved of friends.

truly terrible things happen along the way; the podcast definitely is not for the squeamish. arthur is more scar tissue than not by now, and really should NOT still be alive after how many times he's been punctured. it's genuinely quite scary at times, and genuinely heartbreaking in others.

but i think its key message is that no matter what we've been through, we must cling to hope with bloody fingers, and we must keep going, even if all we can do is crawl. no matter what we've been before, we decide who we're going to be today, and no one gets to tell us otherwise. love and self-determination is what will save us.

and just from a technical standpoint, i think the podcast is brilliant. because arthur is blind, john has to narrate what they are seeing and doing, which also allows us, the audience, to 'see' what's happening, and lets us feel like we're in arthur's shoes. when john gasps in horror at what he's seeing, we feel the same dread as arthur, because we don't know what's happening until john describes it to us. harlan's voice acting is truly astounding, both in the emotion he can convey and in just how many dozens of voices and accents he's able to pull off, often without listeners ever realizing it's all the same person.

another fun element is that because harlan is a big ttrpg guy, he allows patreons to actually vote on arthur's choices in the podcast, and he adapts the story to follow those decisions. (in some early episodes, this was represented by a rolling dice sound effect.) he does have a story planned, and set to end in season 6 (we're currently in season 5), but i think that level of audience participation is pretty cool.

so yeah, that's the thing i've been obsessed with for months! if you can't handle scary or gross situations then it probably isn't for you, but otherwise i very highly recommend it. 🫶

edit: i forgot that there's a trailer!

[senseandaccountability]

Veilguard prediction post

Someone asked me if I have any kind of predictions or guesses for Veilguard and I do. Apart from the obvious: Solas will be the sexiest motherfucker on that screen and you all know it. He’s got the best VA, the coolest powers, the saddest little eyes. We’re doomed to fall a little more in love with him. Have some more incoherent emotional bullet points! No spoilers for achievements or such things.

Mythal’s shifty as fuck. Shifty good or shifty bad, who can say at this point, but she's shifty all the same. I love her for it.

Varric’s death will be optional. The narrative loves Varric probably more than it has ever loved anyone and he won’t die as a default, maybe as a choice.

Lucanis's romance will have strong angst potential but also not, I feel it’s probably optional.

Solas seems to be the only of the Evanuris with abilities to reshape the world itself (powers that I’m convinced he got in ways that made him hate himself because I love his pragmatic little ass and because power doesn’t come for free) so it figures he will have something to do with its final outcome. 99% convinced this will be sad and I don't even want to theorize too much around it because I wanna be surprised, maybe. I will say, though, that since he's to be the trickster god of this plot, there will be moments when we are meant to think he's betraying us. I think, however, he will be the "betrayer" of his people in the end, once more.

The Inquisitor is still somewhat connected to Solas/Fade/his powers through the anchor and ties in with the choices he makes, somehow.

We’ll see more dissolving borders between spirit/mortal in the themes of the plot. Will come into play with Emmrich, Lucanis, maybe Solas and probably the entire ancient elven race who probably felt strong kinship with spirits since the distinctions between those in bodies and those outside of bodies were probably not a thing back when the world was new. Maybe it won’t be in the future either. Fandom will cope through copious amounts of spirit porn where 99% will be terrible, terrible depictions of fade cocks entering fade holes and receive 877234 kudos on AO3.

The Grey Wardens have been Very Wrong about things. But will also make things Right somehow or do the best with what they’ve got. Davrin will be making good choices and possibly create some sort of new path for the order. The GW plot will make people cry.

Cole is right about everything and I don’t care if you people made him a human boy who snogged that bard, in my headcanon universe he is a spirit who watches over his mortal friends, the Inquisitor and Solas in particular.

Anders still won’t get any kind of compassion from the narrative in case he is mentioned. Varric will still be a complete fucking asshole about it. 

The disband/keep Inquisition and stop/save Solas choices will determine on what terms Solas is with the people who are looking for him and probably some background story for the years in between Trespasser and Veilguard. I don’t think it will matter too much to the overall plot.

My pet theory/desire about the veil coming down to fuel the magic of the people in their fight against the ancients! I really, really want something like this. I mean, the veil will come down anyhow so why not make the god of rebellion tear it down as a power move, not to destroy this world but as a final fuck you to the tyrants of old? Would make thematic sense too if we are to believe Fen’Harel’s climb to power beginning with freeing slaves that he now frees the people he didn’t even consider people at first, oh the irony and sweet, sweet circles closing.

Death penalty enthusiasts will get a chance to personally kill Solas, I guess. It will be the most boring choice in a wheel of other choices and not considered canon but every edgelord out there will still claim it is.

Defeating old gods might not necessarily mean kill them. Just saying. I think there will be Layers and shit.

Fandom will love Lucanis and Emmrich to bits and pieces. There will be drama about potential spirit/undead fucking, age difference romance, elven lore (again), Solas’s fate, some female character that is considered evil/boring. Idiots will mod Bellara until she looks like Florence Pugh and Davrin until he looks like Astarion and other idiots will defend their choice to play the game this way, actually.  

The Titans were absolute assholes who created the dwarves to have armies? “They made bodies from the earth, and the earth was afraid. It fought back, but they made it forget." IDK ok, I just think they, too, did shit that merited them being locked away. The wars of old, how they continue to stir my little fannish heart! Every race has been fucked over! Authority sucks and will break your spirit, take everything you have and crush your very soul! Revolt, revolt, revolt! Arise ye workers from your slumbers  -sorry, wrong place.

[saiiboat]

i’d love to hear about your fuga sailing stuff \o/

HII ^_^ awesome. ok. so atm i have one silly racing au that i rotate in my head and one fic in the works which takes place directly after fuga when guaxinim, pac, and mike leave the island together on the boat. this one is heavy on the hurt and lighter on the comfort and is essentially just pac on one massive spiral now that he's starting to process everything that happened in prison and the island. lots of pac feeling guilty about cell's perceived suicide and struggling with his anger at mike for getting them into this mess. he's very much an emotional wreck LOL. hes been through so fucking much man. also going from being enclosed in a prison for a year and a half and then being out on open water and the crazy anxiety of being in such an open space is. well. its really getting to him. i'll leave some snippets of it under the cut 💪💪💪

the racing au is really just silly⛵💪💪🔥🔥🔥the nature of the sailing autism being that i always need to take some guys and throw them on a racing team, all of their insanities included.

when i talked about this au before i said that they sailed j22s but im upgrading them. they now sail Melges 20s. its official. ill put images under the cut. god. gorgeous boats.

the general idea is that JV and cell are two sailors looking for new members for their respective crews. felps is already on cell's crew and guaxinim sails with JV. probably at some point jv was on cell and felp's crew and now they have some kind of crazy beef. anyways. cell is just as weird and gross and intense as he is in fuga and he really wants pac and mike on his crew and having nothing to do with JV. obviously mike is skeeved out by the weird gross guy who looks maybe a bit too hungry sometimes and tries to get pac to join JV's crew with him. unfortunately pac is way too enamored with cell's negative rizz and cell proposes the idea to pac that tazercraft splits ways and mike can join JV's crew on his own. Mike is understandably upset at this but still ends up joining JV and guaxi's crew. the two boats have insane tension and pac is torn between pretending none of this happened at all and ignoring mike/sending worlds saddest eyes back to mike. mike is hurt and pissed off at pac and cell and felps and does his best to pretend that they dont exist at all while also needing to beat them in every regatta ever or he'll DIE because maybe if he wins against them enough times it'll prove something to pac. what will it prove? i dont think even he knows lol.

cell is actively trying to drive a wedge in between pac and mike and JV is doing the same thing on the other side. felps is purposely looking the other way during all of this and guaxinim is watching it all go down with some sick sense of fascination. definitely just hanging around to watch it happen like a long drawn out car crash.

cell in this au is especially fascinating to me. squeezing him like a stressball. he's ten ways fucked in the head and the reason why he started sailing in the first place is because his therapist told him to get a hobby and it was downhill from there. anyways cell tells his therapist about pac and the next time cell sees pac he walks up to him and says "my therapist says that we need to get coffee together and have normal interactions so i stop thinking about eating you" and pac just goes. oh! and its the hottest thing anyones ever said to him

obsessed with them, frankly

^^ sexual images fr

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

Hello! about your malevolent ask

[long ass answer- many apologies]

its a slightly goofy, sort of horror soap opera, in the vein of call of cthulu/tma. I dont find it Super Scary, but idk what your milage for horror is.

The overarching plot is drivin by the patrions (sp sorry), in the style of a choose your own adventure novel- you can usually tell where the choices are; it'll be something like 'omg arthur, we're at a crossroads- do we go left, to the evil cavern (where the horrors live) or right, to the evil woods (more horrors).' You can also hear more overt RPG stylings in the beginning- dice roll sounds for perception checks, etc. These do fade out after the first season.

Rough outline (some spoilers): John (a spirit/demon type guy) possesses Arthur (a detective from Arkham MA) and, in doing so, takes over his eyes. Now Arthur must navigate the world with only the guidance of the voice in his head. Horrors unfold, walls are walked into the boys are in their get-along consciousness. Think venom, if both of them were way bitchier and prone to swearing. and also eddy was blind.

IS IT GAY: Yes and no. If its a friendship, its really intense- but cannonicaly it has been very firmly stated that they are just friends. However, the relationship is intertwined and deep enough that many people consider it to be queerplatonic- Arthur being aromantic is a very popular interpretation, if that sweetens the pot for you (idk how loosely you're using gay here). Glib answer: its pretty queer, but no kissing.

COOL STUFF:

-A dramatic, intense relationship between a guy and the dude who lives in his head. They argue ( my god how they argue) they make up, they argue again.

-The saddest little english man (arthur) gets chucked off cliffs multiple times. Do you like men whimpering? This is the podcast for you!

-Very impressive voice acting: the writer voices absolutely everyone in the podcast (yes. everyone) and its genuinely almost unnoticeable. You really do have to have it pointed out to you.

-Fun, slightly campy (in the way of an rpg campaign) Lovecraft style horror

-Lovely piano soundtrack

-A gentleman called the butcher shows up in- what season 3? maybe?- and I adore him. Go singing irishman go. You get that violent homoeroticism.

Drawbacks:

Again, I don't really know your taste, but these are some of the things that might turn someone off from listening. YMMV etc.

-LOUD. If you dont like gentlemen yelling DIRECTLY AND ANGRILY INTO THE MIC then this is not for you. If you do like that, then you are about the have the time of your life. There is also just. An incredible amount of panting/heavy breathing. Also directly into the mic, and at length. Like, an 'i am secretly watching gay pornography' amount. I had it going on a speaker once and my roommate had questions, kind of amount

-Almost no women characters: understandable, since a dude is voicing Literally Everyone- but it is something of a sausage fest. Women exist in universe, they just tend to move in the backround/be unvoiced. Lots of 'oh heres whats happened to her' sort of describing around the 'I can't voice a woman' issue. One old lady has a few voice lines and thats it.

-Kind of a soap: This is a draw for me ngl, but if you are looking for TMA 2: the magnusing- she isn't it. Its a LOT lighter than tma, writing wise, and isnt exactly hitting any crazy new twists in its plot (if you've read Any lovecraftian stuff you probably wont be super surprised by anything)BUT. Its still very fun. Two dudes sharing a body, detective roadship shenanigans. They might kiss! Might see some skinned bodies or something.

The dynamics can be a lil repetative (wake up break up back together) and the plot can be a little- ehhhh. due to it being yk, patrion controlled- but that can be fun- it's pretty heavily a choose your own adventure story at heart, so if your down with that (and the sillyness that comes with it) then you'll like it.

-Gore: pretty gory. I enjoy that sort of thing/ am not really effected by it BUT if that not your cup of tea, then you might wanna skedaddle.

🤠 thats all. Again, apologies for the very long answer.

First off- don’t apologize! This gave me everything I needed- thank you for the detailed answer to my question! Looks like I’m giving this podcast a listen- everyone wish me luck 😭

[drinkthemlock]

under the cut is an “amor e medo” essay on álvares rant because it pisses me off but tldr: oh! years of untreated mental illness and looming inevitable death by consumption (on top of going through the ordeal of living in 19th century Brazil) took a toll on a young man’s abilities to relate to people? extremely shocking.

most ridiculous thing about that homophobic essay written about álvares saying that his writing was effeminate and “unvirile” and he was afraid of women and sex because he was “raised amongst skirts” is the fact that he absolutely was not raised amongst skirts. he deeply respected his mom and loved his sister greatly yes but he also went to all boys’ boarding schools, university, students’ lodgings, etc. basically navigating all-male spaces his entire life (despite the fact that spaces in Brazil at that time were not as gender segregated as we may think, esp. in Rio). like there’s literally zero evidence (that I know of) that he even had any female friends besides his sibling. also, to pathologize even the few relationships he had with the women he was related to is not only lame but feels really sexist in its core as well? like god forbid this sixteen year old boy be friends with his sister and trust his mother! he must secretly want to fuck them! and maybe, just maybe they played such a constant role in his writing because he… loved them? his elevating of his kinswomen with the purpose of tearing other women down and his possessiveness towards them is not necessarily evidence of oedipal inclinations, but of being misogynistic. which he definitely was. “oh, but there’s brother-sister incest in noite na taverna!” for god’s sake……. noite na taverna is the fucked-up-people-doing-fucked-up-things novel. the incest itself is not even romanticized! it’s rape! the sister kills her rapist later!

most of his writing is indeed about longing and love and unconsummated relationships but that’s because he’s a romantic poet. his style is unique in its execution, not in its themes. and not to play armchair therapist with a long dead teenager (but since the author of the essay already did), his personal letters reveal a difficulty in his relationships with people, full stop. women especially, yes, but most people in general as well. there are letters of his to Luís during his stay in São Paulo which are exactly about how he could not get close, how cold and unfeeling people think he is and how that makes him feel even more alone in the world. azevedo from rosaura (a book by one of álvares’ São Paulo friends that includes him and other law students as characters) is so bitter and cruel you would think the author hated álvares. how can someone who loved his friends more than nearly everything in the world (he literally says as much in the “my dearest” letter to Luís, which I’ve translated here if you’d like to read it) feel such an all-consuming loneliness? because he’s depressed! here’s the crux of it: his poems are all about those things i’ve mentioned earlier because 1. he’s a romantic poet following the style of the time and 2. because he was The Saddest Boy in The Whole Wide World. that’s literally it.

[akihabaradivision]

Keiko's Thoughts on R.I.P Märchen

Queen Card

"Queen... Card?" Keiko takes another look at the photo of the masked woman. "...Oh yeah. I think I recognize her. She's not seen a lot here in Akihabara, but when she comes, she attracts a huge following. I know this may seem a bit hypocritical of me, but I personally don't see what's so special about magic, especially when it's not real. I mean, I draw magical boys and girls as a hobby, but that more's to do with 'fantasy'. Her 'magic' is just misdirection and smoke and mirrors. ...But I suppose she must be good at what she does to be so famous. If I go see her though, it's more out of curiosity than actual interest or fascination."

Reiaki Suzubayashi

"'Suzubayashi...?'" Keiko repeats the last name as if remember something. "...Ah! I remember her. I think Criss mentioned that she did some work on one of her favorite sci-fi movies. I forget the name, but I did recall seeing her name at the end credits of it, though. I'm surprised we haven't work together before. But then again, I do manga work, and only as a hobby. What she does is a full-time thing. Still, I guess it's no surprise that she's so popular on social media. I'll have to remember her if I decide to make a live-action version of 'Red of the Ambitious'."

Miku Shirazuki

"...Miku Shirazuki?! She's joining the D.R.B.?! ...Oh my God. I can't believe it. Did you all know that I was a huge fan of her back when I was in high school? I'd heard of her before then, but I didn't start actually listening to her until my Freshman year! I'd heard of some of the other students talking about her, and, at first, I didn't see what the hype about her was. But when I actually listened to her, well... needless to say, I was hooked! I think I downloaded and listened to all her songs in one night!" Keiko smiles, remembering the memory. However, she she frowns. "However, when I heard that she was leaving the music world, I was so upset. I wanted to know why, but I knew she had her reasons. But still, the day I heard she had quit performing... that was possibly the... second saddest day of my life. ...What was my first? ...I'd rather not talk about it..."

R.I.P Märchen

"Seeing as this time is stationed in Minato, where... that woman is also stationed, I'm guessing that this was the team that Otome-sama had initially sent to represent Minato. ...At least that was the case until that woman's team interfered, messing everything up. Seeing as only one team can represent a division, I figure its only a matter of time until the both of them collide. ...I'll say this: that woman should hope this defeats them first. Because if not, they'll have to deal with us. And should it come to that, I will show absolutely no mercy."

[cube-cumb3r]

one of the saddest things abt wanting to learn to draw a variety of body types is that if you want to know how to draw muscular people the internet is your oyster theres a near endless amount of photos to use as reference in fact theres an entore profession dedicated to building muscle to show it off. if you want to learn to draw really skinny people you're in luck too because a lot of people with this body could not be more eager to show it off, showing exactly where the bones show and muscle shows through, showing exactly which parts are convex and concave and ok some of the photos you come across will be ED stuff but that's neither here nor there

but God Forbid you want to learn how draw a fat person. good reference images of a fat people are not only incredibly scarse, but even if you do the variety of bodies you find is not very impressive. when using any kind of plus size model they will nearly always favour those with desirable fat distribution, and the least amount of rolls and folds and lumps. and if you do find any project that uses a larger variety of fat models they're all in shapewear to compensate. oh you wanted to know how gravity affects a bigger stomach? you wanted to know exactly where backrolls tend to form? don't worry, we know no one wants to look at this undesirable features so we've removed them from your view permanently forever!!

even with amateur photography or just everyday people in the world (not that you should be ogling at strangers but you know) people with these features have been conditioned to be disgusted with them and hide them. the best resource for neutral and clear references images I've found to draw fat people is and i kid you not images for weight loss surgery. is that not sad? that the only place i could find a diverse set of bodies was for people planning to change it? (if any of you know a better resource PLEASSEEE LET ME KNOWWWWWWW)

even outside my own personal artistic pursuits and whatever it's just sad that people feel so distressed by their own bodies that they feel the need to hide them from the world to the point where no one even knows what they look like. like I understand we live in a world that favours a certain size and shape of body or whatever but is it not insane that a whole subtype of body is just supposed to be hidden away not in the public eye not anywhere??? its so absurd and unfair

[syn4k]

It took me an embarrassing amount of time to realize you guys wrote one of my favorite fics on ao3

Like I didn’t make the connection between the names on the different platforms then was like “ashes au haha like that one story?” Then realized it WAS that story and that you wrote it

I wanted to let you guys know that ashes au is The Best and every chapter rips my heart apart and stitches it back together halfway (in a good way)

I love how Gem and Fwhip are Trying to get along and sometimes it’s fine and sometimes it’s tenser than rubber band about to snap and oh god it makes me think of my own siblings. And Pixl!!! He is the densest and saddest character. The day he comes to terms with the fact people will want him around is the day the world will spring back to life haha.

I cannot wait to see where the story goes next and whenever I check my bookmarks for updates I always look to ashes au first

-Starry

anon, please know that the intial response up here when we saw this went like this:

lance [clicking the askbox expecting another ask game ask]: oh shit, ray look at this ray (the main person up here who has actually physically written the vast majority of Ashes): what? lance: look at this ask ray, walking up to the front screen: yeah? oh what the fuck? oh wow. holy shit. hold on WHOA.

and then we proceeded to keysmash about it on Discord. based on our very normal reaction, one can clearly judge that we get asks of this moniker a lot and are used to it (joking)

seriously though, this ask has made our evening and probably our entire weekend due to several reasons- hold on let me make an itemized list real quick hi its ray i stole the fingers i am going insane over this. Hello. Hey.

do not worry anon i would have done the exact same thing if this wasn't our fic that we were writing. it has happened to us before on multiple occasions as well you are not alone

AAAAAAAA???? AAAAAAA?? AAAAA? AAAA! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! AGH!

if you or a loved one have experienced physical or emotional pain while reading this fic, you may be entitled to financial compensation

yeah uh. Yeah theyre siblings alright! some days they are getting along just fine and some days they are literally ready to dropkick each other into a tree

pix is layered like a French pastry. this is intentional. how have we done this so in depth and so well? don't worry about it (it's a little technique called "mild to moderate projection") (yes, we are actively going to therapy and have been going for years. do not worry)

asks like these are the literal backbone of everything we write ever. i am not kidding when i say that we have been pouring all the effort we can into writing this, partially because we refuse to fully abandon a multichapter ever, partially to distract ourself from the huge amount of schoolwork we've been subjected to lately, and partially because of the readers (including you!) that leave so much godsdamned feedback that we read when we are sad

things like this are the world to me and out of all the words we've ever written, i don't think any of them would show our gratitude enough, so we'll stick to showing that by keeping this thing going for you and everyone else who keeps up with and enjoys this fic

thank you SO MUCH for this and please subscribe to the work if you haven't already because ao3 gives you emails every time a chapter updates. we love u and we understand so so much but desperately refreshing the page will not actually make us write it any faster although i wish that was how it worked </3

we wish you a Very and a Good :] hope to see you when the next chapter drops, whenever the hell that might be!

[swaramalani]

NANOWRIMO CHAPTER 1 : (Part 2/?)

Somewhere amidst this, was the sixteen-something, grieving body of Kyxian, and the pale, thirteen-something body of the one he grieved over. Losses were finite; the bruising pain they inflicted was infinite. It was nearly incomprehensible for Kyxian to experience his first real loss in the person he admired and was affectionate to, the most. It was… brutal, cruel, vicious, and a thousand other words that could be used to describe how inhumane the whole act was, but then again, wasn’t it always? Every time someone breathed their last breath, wasn’t it merciless? Wasn’t it oh-so-sadistic of the God or the Universe or so and so?

Kyxian had known Noxar for as long as he learned to remember. A fateful connection at the park had lit up sparks between the tiny beans. They had barely even come into existence, before one of them was wiped out of it; before it was decided to cut the strings full of life that tied them together.

Kyxian stood at the grave of his beloved; the first time he had brought him roses was exactly a year and four days ago, with no special occasion; Kyxian was simply that. Now he brought him the same flowers one last time, eventfully so— pink roses— Noxar’s favourite colour; he used to see pink in everything and everyone, for it meant love to him, and Noxar, for one, was full of romance. A short-lived hopeful romantic was for Pink. The little girl in him was for Pink, who resided in him no more.

The full moon shone in all its glory, as brightly as it ever did, as if it didn’t have a care in the world— as if it purposefully chose to ignore the events that had taken place; contradictory to the atmosphere of the grief-stricken graveyard. The dark clouds thickened in the sky, soon veiling the pompous orb. It stayed there nevertheless; even though it was hidden behind, it was there. It did not just disappear into the void. Unlike Noxar, who had gone forever; not asleep, not unconscious, but just… faded.

Bats roamed around squealing, and with the dull mood of it all, Kyxian could swear it was a scene straight out of some horror movie, except this was his life; as horrific and unfair as it was, it was his real life. Not some movie. Not a figment of his worst imaginative ideas. But real. It was real. Real. Real. Real.

To be deprived of love was the saddest thing in the world. To be bereft of love, to have it stolen from you so unforgivingly, to be left with nothing, not even a broken heart— just the heart left puzzled in a way that the pieces could never be put back together correctly— what could be more life-shattering than that?

Kyxian felt his hand being squeezed as if someone was trying to bring him back to a world he didn’t want to live in any more; not without them, anyway. No, he did not want to attend to this gruelling task, no more.

He felt the hold on his hand becoming tighter and turned his head to see one of the most serene faces. Syratha. That young, familiar face, although as calm as the sea under the sun, held a look as grave as Kyxian himself. Her orange flecks stranded across her pale as pearl forehead. Her eyes seemed lifeless, just like black holes; consuming every emotion that flew its way, but never really projecting it outwardly.

Kyxian slowly let his glance down towards their hands, clenched together; hers was rough as crippled paper, like she had worked a thousand hours a day, or perhaps been made to do so. But, neither was the case; so far as he knew anyway. Her hands had always been this rough, even when they were kids; even when the world was full of just the three of them, and even when Noxar was there…

He glimpsed at the flowers that felt oh-so-heavy in his hand— everything did; his body felt like the gravity was pulling it towards the earth. He felt his head spin and almost lost his balance, if it wasn’t for the hand that held on to him so firmly. Right. He had to actually do the honours of giving Pink to them once again; a last time.

[esorxy]

daily updates of thoughts while reading crimson rivers

afterthoughts::

this was so beautifully written and well plotted, it had some of the best scenes and dialogues, and had me swooning, in shock, all of that

(particularly regulus') character development!!! insane!!! this has left me unsatiable, jegulus has me in a chokehold

oh the romance was so sweet, and ever so rewarding after all of the hurt, both jegulus and wolfstar

my only complaint is that its way too long like i lost so much sleep over this, at the end i was so impatient i kept skipping all the side characters povs cos i just wanted to be done with it

🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

day 1. 10% (games just started)

it took 80k words to get to the start of the games .... what did i get myself into. and i saw tiktoks going like the jegulus WEDDING ?!?!?!?!?! love it when sirius cannot form coherent sentences around remus, but he needs some distraction they literally have the worse luck ever. I'm so glad they dont have horrible communication issues, maybe because theyre all about to die.

oh and if the jegulus parting 'present' wasnt the saddest way to separate especially since they think theyre going to die

aside, i keep comparing sirius to quackity in that hunger games fic and then i remember how much better the dsmp fanfics were especially since i can actually recall the details after like 2 years. back when i thought 100k+ was a long fic oh how naive

so so far, pretty good, im invested in the story enough to not be bored but not THAT invested

🟥🟥🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛

day 2. 31% (games ended, just before interview)

im fuckin invested. why whyyyy so much pain. regulus never fails to be the most hurt in any room aye. and james being touch starved?!? i lived for that shit.

why was it that reading about the games was so thrilling. the life/death oml give my boys a fucking break. they're out now and still no comfort, the only break theyre getting is a break up wtf!!

asides about the games, james was just a dumbass about peter, evan my beloved as always (and glad that the author shares that sentiment), and what the fuck regulus just realising at the end that he had nothing to live for if james died asfhhdsjjfsgjjf

why the fuck was i not satisfied with reading cute one shots or 100k fics,,, the length of this, i don't want to sleep i don't want to eat god help me with this addiction

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥⬛⬛⬛⬛

day 3. 60% (second games started)

honestly the lack of a mcd tag is the only thing getting me through this. the hope!! i relate to regulus so much on that.

and that's also the only reason im forgiving them for all being fucking IDIOTS and not making the most of their time together. now is the time to profess your love and get your spine realigned my darlings

why is there literally a force field preventing james and regulus from being happy together??? well im not complaining too much because that means that anything they do now is extra special. regulus not being able to resist james??? gahhh im gone.

also them having tea together and actually starting to heal oh theyre so sweet they dont deserve that cruel world.

they literally chose the worst time ever to make up, at least they did at some point, but man they really confessed and got engaged right before... probable death...

oh the amount of pain my poor boys are going through, i wish they can all escape and live in some cozy domestic paradise with everyone they love. but they have to suffer first otherwise the happiness in the end doesn't count for anything.

oh. my. god. CRYING regulus trying to get sirius to kill him and then going soft at the last moment, and i can't believe sirius almost got baited like that and was really about to kill him. but REGULUS, oh my, my sweet gentle boy, he tried so hard, and the aftermath left everyone in fucking pieces.

it is 2.30am, and it takes literally half an hour to make a 2% dent, and i am HOOKED

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥⬛⬛

day 4. 80% (healing at phoenix)

regulus is on his way to being my favourite and it's entirely cos he's so angsty and unhinged. following through with all of his threats??? fucking hilarious, and his desperate love confessions and having a meltdown every 2 seconds. hes a wreck GET HELP.

sirius, such a literal icon, i strive for his level of don't give a fuck. "what pasta"?!?! my god i love him. hes so gone on remus its sickening. when dumbles asked for his blood, sirius being possessive?!?! if i was remus i would have folded right then and there, literally sold, this man owns him

james high and being obsessed with regulus the angel?!!! im swooning, literal heart attack material. best scene so far.

i love regulus' character development, hes levelled up to be james' first man. goodbye sirius but tbh he has more than enough problems on his own. oh jegulus is so achingly sweet i will not shut up about it. this is the reward after reading through so much couples angst. they love each other so much IM CRYING, the way regulus looked after him after the rescue mission, in all the ways that James didn't after the first games, oh they're finally together and happy, i would die for them.

i am PISSED at how long this fic is. the amount of nothing that I've done these past few days to read this, after this im going to exclusively read one shots for a whole entire week.

🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥🟥

day 5. 100%

sirius dissociating on the roof and remus sitting with him, im sobbing

yeah im deadass sick of the comfort now, theyve had too much that its not special anymore. i just want it to end already.

jegulus finally getting their dream life and dancing by the fireplace,,,, aaaand theyre getting married ahhhhh, my boys,, theyve come so far, i have no words

james holding regulus in bed while they watch the rain to help with his aquaphobia?!!! if thats not the most angsty romantic beautiful scene ever, im in love

why is it so fucking funny that james gets high from getting railed with a dagger to his throat, like legit my man CANNOT even form thoughts anymore hes so far gone 🤐

happily married with 4 kids, its too perfect, domestic, im in shock

aaand guess what im finally finally finished. that took way too long, reading fanfiction should be a full time job.

im never reading anything over 200k in the near future, that was way too much emotional commitment.

[drabbles-mc]

mj. you write me some rafa AND it doesn't have a happy ending???? what a good tuesday to be me!!!! i can't wait to cry!!!!

"You didn’t like it either, having no time for him, but it’s how it went." Okay so I know it's you so I KNOOOOOOW this is going to be far from the saddest thing I'm going to read in this fic. But already you're hurting my heart with this line.

‘Come on,’ he says, ‘you knew I would.’ It's love, it's familiarity, it's tears in my eyes don't look at me

‘Pues,’ you prompt, ‘give me a light. Let me see the future.’ Reader!!! If you could see the future you would know it's going to be sad!!!!

"It isn’t a suggestion; he ignores it anyway." Yea that's Rafa for sure for sure.

"then says your name like you’re a genius. Like you’re him." MMMMMMMMMM this is delicious and I'm having Feelings that I don't know how to articulate but trust. I am having them.

"You’re a stranger now, as much as he tries to fight it. You don’t fit into the world he’s made for himself" GOD!!! THERE IT IS!!!!!

"A new project, you realise, that’s what he’s found. Something he can’t have, something impossible. Something to solve. A drug lord with the daughter of a politician, Dios mio, he picks them well." I'm gnoshing on this paragraph like it's a fucking five-course meal. I'm aggressively justrightblobbing

"Because it’s not yours, it’s his. He doesn’t get that." OOF. What a. What a mood.

‘You talk like you know her,’ he says. / ‘I know you, Rafi. That’s enough.’ Me??? With a heart crumpling inside my chest???? It's more likely than you fucking think!!!!!

"You didn’t know how bad it had gotten, until he tried to pull himself out of it." mj you've got me shaking in my boots. The angst up until this point has been child's play I just know it. You're gonna break me. Fuck.

"you lived through the whispers of him" FUCK ME. I'm gonna. I'm gonna get this tattooed on my somewhere idkidkidk

Oh the mental image of following the mess of the room to find Rafa. I'm eating it whole.

"The stretch marks up his back, from that growth spurt he had at fifteen, are angry looking, like they’re complaining too." You pepper this little detail in there like I would be able to be normal about it. Jesus. Fuck. I'm. I love this. I can see it. The familiarity in the face of all this change is killing me.

‘You won’t leave again?’ he asks, shaking the two of you. ‘You’ll stay until I’m better?’ / ‘Yeah,’ you tell him, because it’s true for now, even if his better is worse than he’s ever been before. ‘Yeah, I’ll stay as long as you need me, Rafi.’ I'm punching holes in the drywall of my office!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHH

‘Have you planned any part of this, or did you do too much coke and come here on a whim?’ In the distance you can hear the metaphorical mic dropping

"He’s smart still, it’s always in there, under all the shit, so there must be a logic to it." Something about the heaviness of this scene and what it all means pairs so perfectly with the phase "under all the shit". Again. Thoughts are in the building but I cannot tell you what they are.

"And what’s two weeks in Costa Rica after that, even if it is a goodbye? There are worse places for this to meet its end. One final time, you could show out for him just one final time, and then put it to bed. No more friendship, no more relying on you to pile up the bricks again. If he can’t come home afterwards, then you will, alone, and he’ll be free to take on the world. All by himself. Just as he wanted to." I'm ripping my hair out by the root!!!!!!!!!! I cannot be normal about this!!!!!!!

"He's never been nobody anywhere." And that's that on love.

"You at least owe him that mercy, after everything. You’ll look him in the eye to say it." I have chills. I'm hyperventilating. I'm losing my shit.

"The plan, was to be a friend to yourself, for once." This hurts me in a way I can't explain. I'm so proud of them but also this hurts.

"Honestly, you’d hoped you would at least have some glass between, you were counting on it, even. Something for his reaction to bounce off." mj you can't be this good of a writer if you're going to use your powers to hurt me. THat's not fair.

"You were just too sentimental to see it, too loyal to the kid you’d met at the end of the street." NOOOOOOOOOOO not the nostalgia!!!! I'm flipping my desk

"Just because he’s stuck in one place now, doest mean you have to be too." God the hits. They just keep coming.

"You’ve found your track, now it’s time to run it, right to the end. Just like he would."

I!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!! I can't!!!!!!!! I don't know how to articulate!!!!!! How am i supposed to go back to my life after this?????? How dare!!!!!!

five and one

rafa x gn!reader, 7598 words, canon typical drug use, hurt/comfort/angst, no happy ending(!!!)

the five times you were his friend, and the one time you weren’t 

a/n: this has been in my docs waiting to be finished for sososo long omg finally the rafito despair is here. enjoy!

taglist: @ashlingiswriting​ @drabbles-mc​ @cositapreciosa​ @hausofmamadas​ @cherixrosa​ @purplesong1028​ @mandaloria314​ @dashavau​ @yeetintomadness @thesandbeneathmytoes​ (as per i have forgotten who wants tagging and who doesnt sorry!)

1

Rafa’s been asking you for weeks. Come smoke, carnale, come on. I have something to show you.

Soon, you told him. I’m busy with school, work, I have to pick my Abuela up from church—I’m the only one who can drive her, remember?

They weren’t made up excuses, even if he thought they might’ve been. You didn’t like it either, having no time for him, but it’s how it went. How it is. He dropped out of school, never made it to college. You did. It gives you different markers now, different structures to shape the friendship around. When you were classmates it was easy, natural: before class, in class, after class. Simple. There you were, there he was. Now, you have to pencil him in like any other obligation.

He isn’t an obligation. You try not to let him feel like one.

Keep reading

[river-bottom-nightmare]

"y'know, i think this may actually be the funniest thing that i've ever experienced. either that or the saddest."

bruce, forever resigned to enduring the overdramatic woes of his eldest child, deigned to lift his head from where it had burrowed itself under several oversized pillows and give dick an absolutely scathing glare. dick smiled beatifically back.

bruce groaned and went back to wallowing.

"i mean," dick oh-so-lovingly continued, "this is karma at its finest. i remember when i went through the exact same thing."

"really," bruce said, trying his damndest to put as much incredulity in his voice as he could, given the way his face was mashed into a thousand-count pillowcase. it really was quite soft. for a brief moment, bruce contemplated sinking into the fabric, letting it envelop him and protect him from the cruel clutches of fate, never having to weather the outside world again. he was fairly certain cass was ready to be batman, and if worst came to worst, dick had proven more than capable of leading the justice league for him.

a thump on the bed next to him had him rolling his eyes while trying to stifle a smile. sometimes, bruce is dumbstruck by how much his son has grown, a paper-cut sort of ache. other times, like now, he could close his eyes and almost pretend he was twenty years younger, with an effervescent nine-year-old doing backflips on what dick deemed "the trampoline bed."

"yeah," dick said. "really. very first time i had a date lined up with a guy, i think i was sixteen. i was so nervous, you don't even know." a small quiver in dick's voice hits something very soft and very vulnerable in bruce's chest, and he shifts to look at dick, giving him his attention.

(he does know, is the thing. he remembers dick coming home from that date, eyes a little watery but a smile on his face as he told bruce it went well, then collapsed into the type of hug he hadn't asked for in years, bruce's collar all damp and his heart spilling up, overflowing, bursting.)

"i had my notecards and a speech lined up and everything," dick said, a teasing tone still threaded through his voice, but making himself softer. it was the tone dick took with younger kids he was mentoring, or particularly stubborn friends he was talking reason into. "and in the end, i just ended up word vomiting some version of a coming out speech. it was absolutely awful; i'm surprised you understood a word coming out of my mouth."

"'course i understood," bruce grumbled. "i'm your dad, it was pretty obvious what you'd been building up to for weeks." then, eyes widening—"fuck."

dick grinned down at him, nudging his shoulder in a manner most would deem cheerful and delighted, but what bruce really knows is smug and nefarious and indicative.

"exactly!" dick said, because bruce taught him how to set verbal traps once when he was thirteen and dick had been besting bruce at that particular skill for years.

"i hate you," bruce groans, rolling back over.

"just like you said—alfred knows you. it's pretty obvious to him what you've been building up to, but i know from personal experience that you're gonna want to actually tell him. it's....cathartic. and self-fulfilling."

"i wouldn't care if it was rhapsodic," bruce said. "i never—i never planned for this."

"because you never thought he would ask you? or because you never thought you'd allow yourself to say yes?"

god-fucking-damn dick to the depths of hell for knowing him so well, knowing the turns of his thoughts and the twists of his fears, for pulling his brain inside out and never running away from what he sees.

bruce sighed. "i've never been this lucky, dick. the best things in my life have always been you all, and you know how fraught our relationships are. this, whatever this is, has been going, uh, well? which means it'll go downhill somewhere, and if not with him and me then—"

"bull. shit." dick punched bruce in the arm. lightly, mostly. "this is alfred. he raised us all right alongside you. he's been nothing but supportive of more than half our harebrained ideas for years. hell, he wore a little pride pin on the lapel of his suit when i came out to him."

"yes but," bruce said, haltingly, "i've quite literally known him since birth. if he doesn't take it well..."

"if he doesn't take it well, which he won't, then you'll feel better for both having told him and for facing it yourself."

"it?"

"you're allowed to be happy, bruce, jesus," dick said. "and telling alfred will also, you know, make it a little more real for yourself. i feel like we've had this exact conversation before."

dick is—well, he's right, as he almost always is. and he's employed his particularly famous technique of cutting right to the heart of issues, ripping down the lies bruce told himself, leaving him hyperaware of his own pulse, thrumming in his wrist, and an inescapable flash of clarity.

"i suppose you have a point," bruce said, haltingly and low, and still resolute. with a push, he's sitting on the edge of a bed, feet braced on the plush rug. alfred should be just about starting to get dinner ready, and his—his date is for lunch tomorrow.

bruce, even with his back turned, can almost see the grin stretched across dick's face. "i normally do. now get going, bruce. thirty-something years of repression ain't gonna solve itself."

with a scoff that may have dripped into becoming more of a laugh, bruce ruffled his son's hair, then gave him a quick smile as he left his room, headed towards alfred.

--

list: @woahajimes @birdy-bat-writes @subtleappreciation @catxsnow @pricetagofficial @screennamealreadyused @clamityganon @maplumebleue-blog-blog @sundownridge @thatsthewhump @xatanna-troy @red-hood-redemption @capricorn-stark @batshit-birds @buticaaba @comics-observer @newsical @queenofbooknerds @queen-of-ice494

[sweetmotherof]

Haikyuu Fics: The Classics™️

EDIT: pt 2!!

I wanted to make a post to archive what I would call “The Classics” as far as Haikyuu fanfic on ao3 goes. For anyone new to the daunting world of Haikyuu fanfiction, these works are probably the most popular, talked-about works throughout the fandom, so they are a good place to start! I haven’t read some of these, but the reason I included them is that I’ve seen so much hype around them. Comment the ones I missed, and I’m definitely going to be doing a part 2. Enjoy <3 :D

*contains nsfw fics* READ TAGS BEFORE U READ

⭑=my faves

BOKUAKA

Rules by ConesOfDunshire⭑

E, 120 k words

Accountant Akaashi. Pianist Bokuto. WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT??? This fic is seriously novel-worthy, and Bokuto having Asperger’s is a beautiful component to the story. I found that the characterization and the attention to detail the author put into the story is what made it a truly distinguishable and unique fic that allowed it to rise to the top. It is worth every kudos, comment, bookmark, and more. Highly recommend.

Behind Bricks by DeathBelle⭑

E, 60 k words, cw: prostitution, choking, and heavy content so READ THE TAGS

This darker fic follows Akaashi as he deals with his life as a prostitute, and how Bokuto comes in and is able to change it for the better. I feel sometimes that heavy topics such as the trauma from sex work are really misrepresenting in fanfiction, but the author does a great job of portraying it in a real way and not romanticizing it at all. I loved to watch love bloom for Akaashi in the cracks of his tumultuous life, because he deserves everything <333

In Another Life by LittleLuxray⭑

T, 22 k words, cw: terminal illness, hospitals, major character death

As the highest-rated Haikyuu fanfic on ao3, this work is a monument and will go down in Haikyuu history. That being said, it honestly did such a number on me that I think it deserves the hype. This hospital au revolving around Akaashi and Bokuto’s budding relationship is truly heartbreaking, to say the least. Read it at your own risk, and oh, you can find references to it under almost any Bokuaka related post.

IWAOI

Conquering the Great King by SuggestiveScribe

105 k words, E

This rollercoaster of a fic, set in a universe where Oikawa and Iwaizumi meet in a bar, is funny, profound, and awe-inspiring all in one. The relationship dynamic between the two is very cute and well-done. I highly recommend this one if you are a sucker for some good, old Iwaoi, and I also love the side pairings. Just, overall, a really nice and satisfying read.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle by kittebasu(chanyeol)

T, 66.3k words, cw: injury, homophobia

This fic is a favorite on tik tok, from what I’ve observed. I haven’t read it yet, but when people discuss it, they always commend the writing and the non-linear narrative. I have personally not read this one yet, but I have seen people rave about this one because of the emotional impact it had on them. It seems to me that the writing and emotions on this one are its claims to fame, so definitely check it out.

Desperado by Verbrennung

M, 82k words

Talk about raved about fics, I have seen this one mentioned countless times on various platforms. This Iwaoi fic is set in a Vegas/Japan fusion setting, which immediately caught my eye. The premise of a heist fic also is probably what caught people's attention the most, because what is better than an Iwaoi heist fic (nothing. nothing is better.) I recommend this if you want a bit of a longer fic that had a tumultuous plot and a wild romance.

SAKUATSU

Burden of Blame by DeathBelle⭑

E, 91k words, cw: graphic violence, guns, ptsd, panic attacks, murder, death, injury and more so READ TAGS

Burden of Blame is THE mafia au fic of the Haikyuu ao3 universe. I love this fic soooo much. From it’s wild plot to the flawless writing, I was constantly on my feet. I definitely recommend if you want something that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Also, the enemies to lovers is CHEFS FUCKING KISS.

A Liar’s Truth by internetpistol⭑

E, 49.6k words, cw: HOMOPHOBIA!! read tags pls

Oh. My. God. I simply cannot with this fic. It turned me inside out, upside down, and threw me into the void. Please, if you have one singular brain cell, you will read this fic. This narrative about Sakusa’s life and his relationship with his sexuality is a masterpiece. I cannot recommend this one enough. You do not want to miss out on this genuine piece of art. 

Stick With You by lettersinpetals

E, 99k words

This fic follows Sakusa and Atsumu as they get stuck in the Philippines over quarantine. Honestly, if you want an enemies to lovers that really goes in depth into the trope, this is the one for you. One of my favorite things about this fic is the inclusion of the Filipino language, and I found myself reading all of the translations at the end. I would recommend this if you want a longer, feel good Sakuatsu fic. Also, lettersinpetals is a Sakuatsu classic author.

the Terminal Curiosity series by favspacetwink and moonlumie

E, total 112k words, not finished, 8 works, READ TAGS

This fic is probably the notorious BDSM fic, which I’m glad because it portrays it in a very consensual and safe way. I’m personally not into that stuff, but I still was able to enjoy it for the plot and the amazing writing. I definitely recommend it if you are looking for something with BDSM components with some focus on their relationship dynamics too. I actually did really enjoy this fic, and I think the way their relationship kind of progressed backward was really, really good. Even if BDSM isn’t your cup of tea, I still recommend checking this one out and reading the tags to see if it is something you’re willing to give a chance too, because, for me, it paid off.  

KUROKEN

the galaxy is endless (i thought we were, too) by cosmogony

T, 30.9k words, cw: illness, DEATH

I have yet to read this fic. I am genuinely too afraid. Similarly to In Another Life, I constantly see people discussing to the degree in which this fic destroyed them, and honestly after In Another Life, I don’t think I could handle another one. This soulmates au has crushed so many people throughout the fandom that if you want someone to give you more detail on why it’s the saddest thing ever, you probably wouldn’t have to look very far.

Of Monsters and Men by shions_heart

M, 220k words, cw: violence, temporary character death

This longer fic follows Kuroo, Kenma, and many others through a demon hunter/buffy the vampire-style universe, with magic, drama, and much more. If you are looking for a fantasy, action-packed, beautifully written fic, this is definitely one you should check out. The romance and action combination will always be chefs kiss, superb. 

[jemmo]

I need us as a society to talk more about ohm's amazing acting choices for pat and I love all the posts I read this week and in particular the complexity he added to him. THE LAYERS. but you know the layer I love the most? His softness. Because oh god do I love getting lost in that amazing part of pat. The way he acts, the way he speaks and his mannerism in those moments are chef's kiss. You always talk about how pat is pure like he was never touched by the horrible world around him and that's such a perfect description. But he is also soft as hell. And isn't afraid to show it too. I was just watching the bus stop scene and the guitar one in ep3 and you can see I'm going through it. I love everything ohm gave to pat. That man is brilliant.

*rolls up sleeves* oh dear precious anon you have given me the chance to rant and rant i will. strap in.

ohm is something else. seriously. i cannot even begin to go about expressing how much adoration i have for this man and what he gave to us through pat. its astounding. im gonna reference what ohm said in the ep 12 reaction on jennie's yt channel just bc its fresh in my mind and bc it perfectly captures the things i wanna praise ohm for. he spoke about how pat is very much like him, we've heard him say this a billion times, and its very obvious they are similar types of people in the way they behave; playful, silly, tactile, but also very frank and honest and serious when its called for, when important things are happening or being discussed, or when they're sharing their emotions. but ohm also said two things i wanna focus in on; how pat can act like this given the background he has, a background very different to ohm's, and how ohm can make people think the person on screen is pat, not ohm. and its funny, bc i think these things feed into each other and made him successful in both.

i feel like pat's background is something ohm dug into a lot and really studied and considered and built up to deliver his performance. he wanted that through line so he could deliver a fully realised pat, he needed to figure out why, despite his upbringing and family situation and his father and the feud and so on, pat could be so cheerful and goofy and care-free on the surface. im not exactly sure what that through line is, but whats important is that i see it. i see that pat is not a bunch of separate people or personalities. there isn't the pat with pran, the pat with his friends and the pat with his father; they're all pat. yes his behaviour shifts but all his personality traits mix and affect each other. nothing is is simple, nothing is by the book, nothing is just as it seems on the cover. everything has this air of something else underlying it, bubbling under the surface. im not even sure how to perfectly describe it, its just there (i hope you know i actually just sat and cried for 5 mins bc i was just thinking about pat too much and it broke me but we continue).

you can see that pat is not just a one dimensional set of descriptors pilled into a body. he is a person, a living breathing human. you can see what his core personality traits are and how they have been altered by his childhood and his current environment, by the people he's known and knows now, and how they manifest differently in certain situations and around certain characters. its like... when he's with pran, hes adorable and smiley but that pang of pain and loneliness and hatred for the world and press of expectations never fully goes away. and even when he's at his saddest or angriest, that innate kindness and care and goodness in his heart is still present. sometimes you look at him and just see a kid that wanted a friend, but instead was moulded into something he didnt want to be, and yet he still holds on to the warmth and want for happiness thats so integral to him. and i think its so incredible that we see him in so many ways, in so many different lights; happy, sad, angry, cheeky, horny, hurt, jealous, excited, in love etc, and they're all pat. none of them are shocking, none of the ways he acts when feeling these emotions feel un-pat-like. i rlly dont know how he does it, but its just like pat will do something, react a certain way in a new situation and i'll just be like 'yeah, ofc he'd act like that, he's pat, thats what pat would do'. nothing is out of character, everything makes sense!! its so well thought out and crafted, but you can tell all that work was done beforehand so it could be ingrained into the performance, which allowed ohm to act so naturally and impulsively, bc he was living that character. he wasnt thinking 'what would pat do?' bc he already knew. he is pat and this is what pat does. its just AMAZING.

and as for his softness, i rlly rllyyyyy RLLLYYYYY adore this aspect of pat. it would've been so easy, given the kind of role he's fulfilling, to make pat very trope-ey. he could've been a jock/boy's boy/hot-head that is only softened by love, who only reveals that side to his lover, bc its his lover that brings it out of him. very much a man's man that will only act cute with his boyfriend much to his own embarrassment and at the sacrifice of manliness. but pat is so so soooooo far from this. his cute and soft demeanour is just pat. yes he's like it the most around pran, but you see him be goofy and sweet and kind with pa and his mom, he's like it when he goes home in ep 12 much to the annoyance of his father. he's dumb and playful with his friends in similar ways he is with pran and it shows us that this is pat, not just pat with pran, it’s who he always is, it’s just he shines brightest with pran. and i love that this softness is so integral and central to a character who is also very manly. i spoke before about how I don’t pats ‘manly’ aspects are just present bc of his fathers expectations, I think that rlly is pat, and I love that he can be all those typically manly things while also being so cute and adorable, and also while being caring and thoughtful and emotional and open. toxic masculinity is all about men feeling like they can’t open up, can’t be vulnerable, can’t be soft, they must be strong and stable 24/7. pat shows us that that’s just not true.

you are not any more of a man bc you hold your feelings in. christ, pat’s whole thing is that he can’t sit with his emotions, he has to be open and honest, it’s like a compulsion. and he doesn’t see being vulnerable and honest as a weakness or a sacrifice, he sees as something he needs in order to live fully. he truly wears his heart on his sleeve, but in a way where he’s almost adamant that he will feel and think and live how he wants. all his emotions are right there and he will feel them and share them bc otherwise he feels like he’s living half a life, and as someone who probably had to hide so much as a child, I can so see where that desire and will comes from. and that kind of resilience matched with his cuteness is perfection. bc it’s like his softness is defiant, his adorableness is an unconscious statement that he will live every moment with pure joy. he will not hide, he will not restrict, he will not pretend. that does not make him the man he is. he will play stupid games and pull cute faces and say his cheesy one liners bc for him, being a man is about sharing the kindness and happiness in his heart with the world, creating a warmer and brighter place for the people around him, and I just find that so admirable.

we go on and on about pat being best boy, but it’s so overwhelmingly true, bc i sincerely believe he’s such a great role model for how to just live. live happy and and honest and whole. and i think if we all just lived a little bit more like pat the world would be such a kinder place, and that’s something i can’t thank ohm enough for.