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completely obsessed with the way that wwx and lwj KEEP sharing these private looks every 2 seconds

urgh the way they're so on the same page even though they don't actually talk that much, but can just read each other's expressions

especially when WWX goes into emo-gaze-longingly-into-nothing mode bc he's remembering something sad and LWJ is like 'noooo my baby' .. im sobbing they're the best

honestly i might re-watch the whole drama just to focus on how they look at each other

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getting queerbaited by the actors of gay cdrama like...

ZZH did you really need to submissively slide down in gong juns arms like a 19th century wealthy victorian lady weakened by tuberculosis??? bro the cameras aren't even rolling. skeptics would say they're probably so in character, but ME (from 3 years ago) and many other delusionals were totally convinced that we caught them red-handed in a secret relationship

and holding hands during water break ?!? chill out guys. but THE WAY gj is looking at zzh like he's something terribly precious and pretty is so goddamn real.

i swear they weren't even this gay in the actual drama

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word of honor ep31 is something else entirely

they get intercepted on their rescue mission and just as the assassin people were about to rush forward and start stabbing, guess who appears spinning out of nowhere to save his beloved one true soulmate its wkx wearing hot red robes with sexy red eyeshadow, who boomerangs his little paper fan and slices their throats all in one go, does another little spin for dramatic flavour and slowly flutters down like an autumn leaf in the wind, successfully making the most replayed segment of the episode 🍃

and then everything he says from this moment on is like "fuck you, im better than you, eat shit" and DPJ is like "yeah ur cool and all but you're only one person" as if he didnt just kill half your men in one swipe while flying. anyway then zzs is like "who said hes alone" and steps out of his little carriage looking like hes about to die. like bro!! you cant even stand chill tf out. wkx comes over and holds his boyfriend and gets full on whiplash from switching too fast between (1) gazing lovingly at zzs and (2) murderous stares assassin gvng.

then like 3000 ghosts come out from the forest looking for a nice fight with 20 men, half of whom are dead, and the rest of them just dip like nope not today

they all kneel for our favourite gays and then wkx kneels as well and zzs, who still looks like hes abt to collapse and die, is like "fuck yeah im still influential" and awkwardly pats wkx's head like hes some overgrown puppy, which is not entirely inaccurate ykwim

so our power couple gets like 20 more kids for the price of none, and head back to god knows where to meet 😱 some more gays😱 one of them is a healer and the other looks like asian robert sean leonard so... whats new 😮‍💨

wkx finds some time to wipe off his eyeshadow and everyone is ready to die for zzs suddenly, and wkx goes from 🥺 "a-xu is gonna live??" to walking back into ghost valley in the blink of an eye without even changing clothes. scorpion king is also there 😱😱 i didnt even know they were working together cos i skipped all of the boring old people scenes. the twinks face off in some intense power play conversation where everyone wants to top, wkx has a mid life crisis in his pajamas featuring genocide and suicide but then hes like but SOMEONE taught me to live love laugh aka im in love, finishing off a killer episode that fully lives up to the drama part of chinese drama. my man needs to be locked up. in a mental hospital.

bonus: zzs in ep32, freshly injured from having metal hooks stabbed through his shoulders, is like "noooo little girl don't you know i need alcohol to live???" huge announcement everyone youve dedicated your lives to following an alcoholic 🤦

twink healer is like "bro u cant even taste shit" and james wilson is like "remember when u wanted me to find u a cute gf... but turns out... (ur gay)"

omg i wanted to stop, but like the dramatic clown ass scenes just keep coming what can a girl do 🤷

so zzs goes back to serving face (not that he ever really stopped) and he overhears that wkx is about to be forced off a cliff 😱. so flutters into this 50v1 fight with about 2% of the dramatic flair that wkx has, steps up to kiss him except they cant cos censorship, and is like "me n u against the world babe." 🤦

yby comes too cos this drama is tiresome and neverending, and wkx is like "im tired, kill me 🫠", which is so relatable, but then he puts up a damn good fight before falling off the cliff from one tiny needle through the heart. zzs also jumps after him and everyone is like 😱 even though they can literally fly.

but hes dead (not rly) so zzs burns his corpse by kicking a lamp at it and sits at the cliff to reminisce the good old times when he was a hobo and wkx followed him around like a clingy wife. he relapses into alcoholism and pulls all his nails out aaaand this is just romeo and juliet with gay and dramatic flair 😮‍💨

when do they stop serving face honestly like im fed up 🤦

[esorxy]

rewatching word of honor wow this show is so unhinged and so gay. like fr girl im rolling my eyes watching wkx go through his 4 moods: murderous, emo sad, emo gay and delusional.

why did they make up so much plot like anyone whos watching this is watching for the pretty boys serving face and being gay. my man zzs just wanted to be a drunk homeless and lie in the sun for 3 years

girl i live for wkx level of unhinged and bipolar. bruh that scene with his ghosts where he was like oh noo buddy dont worry let me help you up BY THE THROAT and straight up strangles him then hangs him up by a noose and is like haha ok lets continue our meeting where we discuss how youve all failed me...

okay and then when he finds out his one true love is about to die he just sits in the rain on some bridge playing his flute depressedly, waxes some edgy poetry and flies off into the night ?Q?Q?! bestie needs to get a grip

and like zzs... can he stop serving face for one hot minute and give his man some attention??! like girl one minute he's making puppy dog eyes on the verge of tears just thinking about his emo past and depressing ass future without his soulmate and next minute he starts waxing poetry as some sort of delusional coping mechanism WELL at least he's pretty so he gets a pass for everything mwah but man they need couples therapy

like oh my god we get it you're both fucking beautiful and pretty. and wkx is such a simp but who can really blame him

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im regretting not writing an ongoing commentary of pathological people pleaser, because fics like these, that straight up give me whiplash and have me hanging onto every word, are so rare, and i only get to read it for the first time once. but I'm at 79% and it's not too late to start

this absolute masterpiece brings me back to the sadness of dsmp authors whose desolation bled into their writing, but it also has the extremely well written bit of marauders authors

The withholding of information!!!! i live for the suspense and the buildup where we can relate to the characters not knowing anything

Peter and Emmeline are so great in this fic. em especially. she's literally a healthy version of everyone on tiktok

barty you did not need to serve that hard, but pop off king

James going through the morning while not wanting to live anymore 😭

holy shit reg and montys call 😭 i knew it James was unreliable

yeah this was so good but i am too dumb to fully get it

[esorxy]

i have way too many opinions about legends of the condor heroes (specifically 2017 version)

i remember reading the English translation on my kindle at the swimming carnival in high school and boy i was HOOKED

every adult acts like a child but (some) with very very strong morals

there is never a boring day with (1) zhou botong and (2) hong qigong

chill tf out on the avenging and whatever okay... literally by avenging his father, guo jing became the person behind the deaths of so many other people's fathers

yang kang and mu nianci have a better love story than guo jing and huang rong. but they only make for a good side couple cos it's a fighting story not a love story. yang kang is straight up manipulated by wanyan honglie tbh like it's only 70% his fault that he turned out to be a shit person. anyway he's like a sad angry guy and that fits some molds except he's also shit. he only goes like "oh nianci i love u let's go back to ur farmhouse forever" when either she's in danger or he needs her (which is quite often so i guess it's ok). anyway sucks that he's so ugly compared to mu nianci, like if i was him i would be so happy that such a pretty girl liked me.

also mu nianci is literally suicidal i feel like everyone forgets about that. like girl needs support figures in her life but has no one.

ouyang feng isn't really evil he's just power hungry, and not even for power over people. he's like a very very determined gym bro. and also very easily manipulated

hua zheng is literally so clown. why would u so desperately want to marry a guy who only has eyes for someone else. she's a literal princess, anyone would be lucky to have her but nooo she wants the one guy who doesn't.

wang chongyang is kinda hot

guo jing lives life so not carefree. just from the way he said (twice) that he would marry hua zheng instead of huang rong because he needs to "honour his word" like what do you get out of not doing what you want to ...

love how the elders all say they care about their reputation or whatever but when it actually comes down to it they just do whatever they want and use their reputation as an excuse for themselves

this is literally a crack fic and i loved every second of it

i don't understand why li ping stabbed herself because guo jing fought his way out carrying her body, and he could have done it whether she was dead or alive

i like how everyone, even the villains, have a plausible perspective and reasoning for their actions

taohua dao is so pretty, and boy when zhou botong was like "ye i spent 15 years here, practice wugong it went by pretty fast" like BOY you really don't value your time on earth aye i thought you liked fun stuff

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Reggie, I'm sad, I want to hold you in my arms.

Jamie, I'm here, I'll keep you away from harm.

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dancing in the golden refrigerator light, regulus standing on james' feet because hes still frail and weak, im sobbing a river

whatever our souls are made of was heartbreaking to read

Hanahaki is always beautiful and devastating but oh I've never had to work this long for the happy ever after. they were literally accepting that he was gonna die...

and in true marauders fashion, it's the secrets and miscommunication after all

every second of it was so very well written, i want to hold onto every last sentence

but i wish we got more of the relief, healing and domesticity afterwards, like

sirius smothering reggie with affection and then we see him pretending that he doesn't love it

them being overprotective of him forever

James treating reggie very gently when he's healing and princess carrying him when he gets tired. and you know regulus soaks that shit up like a sponge

playing in the snow and they make another snowman ☃️

ok this is kinda sad but imagine regulus gets injured again from quidditch and he cant play anymore. 1. imagine the hospital again except now jegulus is actually a couple and 2. reggie opening his bookstore !!!! (with remus)

im obsessed with the black brothers in this, can you tell

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Something about James Potter being hurt and comforted by The Gang is so captivating to read.

It's so new every time because unlike regulus, sirius or remus, there's nothing really in canon that authors can base it off, so whatever they put James through is literally off their head, which makes it usually really well written because the author is clearly into it.

James and reggie are lowkey a dark aesthetic couple

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ATYD Sirius POV had no right to be that devastating, and it's saying something that the saddest fanfic ever is canon compliant.

and atyd already destroyed me the first time so i don't know why i thought Sirius POV would be better, especially cos he was the most hurt, the most betrayed, lost James AND Regulus.

The only way they could have made it even more sad was if they wrote their deaths...

[esorxy]

Reading ATYD Sirius POV after i saw this tiktok which was said "remus is barbie and sirius is ken" with the audio like "barbie has a good day everyday, but ken only has a good day if barbie looks at him" - and ive only read 20% so far but they could not be more correct!! Sirius is down so bad from the very beginning without even realising it

its actually quite good that i finished atyd months ago and can't really remember it because this is like rereading an old fanfiction without the bore of re-reading the same paragraphs.

and i can't really list out the highlights like i do with other fanfics (mostly jegulus) but it's just enjoyably well written with thorough developments for Sirius' characterisation and coming of age experience.

i was like 50k words in when i realised that atyd entails astronomical amounts of miscommunication which i hated the first time around. its too painfully canon... i missed when jegulus would solve everything. watching sirius and regulus' relationship fall apart so far was devastating, and i know sirius is the protagonist but like really, he totally could have still had his brother somewhat on his side. and i love regulus so that makes me sad and want to read jegulus fanfiction.

tldr; pros: so well written and developed, nostalgic; cons: miscommunication as a theme, canon = PAIN & SAD

generalised highlights

- Sirius being so annoyed at peter everyday lmfao

- the way he tried so hard to get through to remus

- i mentioned this last time that Sirius was such a sweet boyfriend to remus once they started dating, but from the very start, he was always considerate and protective of his more so than towards his other friends

- i love this author and i think it must have been fun writing this because the plot is set, and all the dialogue and chapters are set, but they still manage to come up with a full story and somewhat separate plots. I think this is an excellent example of "everyone is the main character of their own life." but secondly, they knew very well what they were doing. sirius was subconsciously head over heels for remus, and the omniscient reader (me) enjoys every second of it.

- sirius' thoughts towards mary so far are so funny i cant. hes like 'i should be feeling something but its just not happening'. boy is so confused. all her flirting and hes just *panics*. meanwhile remus puts a hand on his shoulder and hes like "ive never experienced something so good ever". oblivious gay awakening

~~~

i FORGOT this was the fic where sirius hit regulus with a bludger and gave him head trauma, and then sped all the way down to the ground to him. and IM DISTRAUGHT theres no comfort for regulus in canon. im going to have to read CR or OTB again after this...

the toast bit <3333 actually so adorable.

(edit: omg i FORGOT what the toast bit was so i had to ctrl f the whole fic to find it and omg it was sirius telling reggie that ghouls are afraid of toast so that he will sleep at night omg it IS cute. idk why i thought it would be sirius making moonys toast or something obviously wolfstar is not my cup of tea anymore)

sirius' life is just confusion, anger, confusion again, denial, convince me otherwise

~~~

- "actually, im always sirius" 🙄🙄🙄

- jily indifference club

- lowkey bored of wolfstar, sue me

- need to read MC regulus fics rn tbh

~~~

IM done!!!

final thoughts

- why was that so fucking sad

- Every fanfic author has a soft spot for regulus you can't convince me otherwise

-

[esorxy]

"I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you"

says evan, but will teach him how to dance anyway because of peer pressure

- barty being jealous of evan and regulus getting cozy together, when theyre getting HIGH

- the amount of romantic tension every time they got slightly close. of course barty is all over evan, like who wouldn't be??? then evan freaking out every time, also who wouldnt???

- pandora's wedding was so picturesque beautiful, and then theyre building a house in that same place?1!?!? actually crying

- pandora's cat being named reggie the third, and i only realised when they were eloping. so that scene at the start where evan went to pandoras room i thought regulus was just casually sleeping on her windowsill lmfaoo

- barty and pandora being called an aesthetic couple, but evan and pandora are cousins with the same hair and skin tone GASP the author knew what they were doing

- barty is just like why work hard to earn money when i can just forge a legal document and rob a bank. honestly goals. meanwhile evan is like i work all night i work all day to pay the bills i have to pay

- marlene rocking up to a wedding and cursebreaking job in a band tshirt and jeans like whats up fuckers

- thanking the collective marauders fandom for the personalities they developed out of thin air for each character, and the FANCASTS, oH MY GOd. theyre all so pretty and look so good together, im throwing heart eyes

- all of the character descriptions matched my imagination so well. of course barty is taller and not too buff but still like kinda built, evan is shorter and regulus is just ... theres no other word except a twink (sorry). that scene where evan was like he could stop reg from dragging away him away because he is taller and bigger but regulus is stubborn af so he just goes along with him. and evan and regulus being all buddy buddy with their feelings oh theyre so adorable

- barty didnt need to sleep with all those people, he just wanted SOMEONE so he wasnt alone... *sobs* poor baby

evan at the start: youre gone, and i gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooooo

evan at the end: im in love, im in love, love in a hurricane

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things i love in masterminds

- regulus just freefalling into the ground in the middle of a quidditch match

- narcissa & regulus. her crying when he asks for help. him helping her through her miscarriage

- moonwater writing fanfiction

- ok i didn't love this one but the shock of walburga just murdering orion at the dinner table

- the essay type references at the end of every chapter

- them (especially sirius) crawling into each others beds to cry abt the most minor inconvenience

- regulus saying adapt, adapt, adapt.

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jegulus and anderperry :heart eyes:

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remembering all the insanely long marauders fics ive brainrotted over because i kinda forgot all of them. roughly in the order i read them.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers?

355k, jegulus wolfstar rosekiller. post war (ended by regulus) where they just hang around grimmauld place all day. i literally cant remember anything that happened. but i liked how they stayed home and didnt go outside, because i relate to that. it was alternating chapters between post war and pre war, honestly i dont even know it was just so much relationship angst and regulus being incredibly competent and hurt.

All The Young Dudes

526k, the character development and buildup, its like the level of the actual series without the annual voldemort attack. i was DESTROYED by the ending, it lived in my brain rent free for like a week. why did it have to be canon compliant???! the way they spent so much time pining, so much time apart, and so little time together. but that theyre literal soulmates, which is so sad for grant (he suffered true emotional damage) lmfao. I guess this is the basis (canon??) of marauders era

we can be heroes, for ever and ever

102k alternate happy ending to atyd - yes PLEASE this is what i needed to heal the pain after reading atyd.

choices

624k. lowkey feel the same way towards this as atyd, except it didnt live in my brain rent free for a week. in that i respect that it's good and got heartbroken when everyone died and they didn't get their happy ending, but it did get me into jegulus so I'm not complaining. IDK it's just sad, but i love regulus and evan and cerci. even though i deadass can't remember anything else.

crimson rivers

865k actually SOBBING this fic is everything. so much plot and so much hurt, it is amazing and painful and intense. it has the most picturesque scenes, beautiful happy ending. but i did kinda get sick of it near the end cos its so fuckin long, and i was not into the girls in the fic so i was kinda cbs

holding onto the self

76k and it was so good i felt so sad for sirius. this is the type of fic which makes me jaw drop and suck in breath like poor baby honestly. no summary needed cos ill never forget what its about lmfao....

just lovers

321k fake dating au. this is GREAT. its so light hearted which is a great change from the akckdjebakzj. this is the climb to the top for regulus being my favourite character. lowkey can't remember shit but i liked it and i need more fics like it because it was creative and there's not much room for that in marauders verse

only the brave

645k and The fic of my dreams. this is everything and i loved every second of it. every character is so great, and it got me into pandalily!!! perfect amount of hurt (a lot), and such good plot. it has every ship i like, i was like drowning in a hot spring of happiness while reading this

ecliptic

147k, oh it's so creative and new. it was so suspenseful cos we got 0 answers, and the fic is deadass incomplete wtf!! i love how everyone is sad but mostly rational. the jegulus was really really nice, and i liked how the cruciatus was made out to be a big deal so the hurt/comfort is better. i feel like the plot is better than the delivery

wolfstar my one true pair, jegulus my second true pair, evan®ulus has a special place in my heart, marauders fanfiction a permanent space in my mind for at least the next few weeks

new edit: shit! i forgot to update and i read so many more long fics and can barely remember them now

mastermind

311k i cant even remember anything that happened ... except i liked the dynamic between narcissa and regulus, and narcissa is so damn pretty. this was the one where regulus made james and sirius go with him to the cave, and then james had to force him to drink the potion, so much angst arghhhh.

all along there was some invisible string (tying you to me)

103k spiderman AU + high school and all i can say that its an original setting... the pining was great, and the spiderman kiss!! but other than that like it was good, i guess

I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly

243k Victorian AU with arranged marriage trans regulus. I loved regulus' character, he was so spiteful and petty but also down bad, and jegulus matched so perfectly together. i want his life so bad because his literal job was being married, like deadass he didnt do shit all day except read, play with his cats and pine for his husband...

a violent kind of spin

212k not going to lie, my favourite/most striking parts of this fic were the $h scenes... and i just finished it last night so I dont even have an excuse. james asking sirius to turn around and not even waiting for him to do it??? oml hes unhinged and it was so well written. the bathtub scene when he was on a timer and then just walked out like everything was fine!!! help it was so angsty im in love. i feel like i speedran this fic and didnt read it properly, which is probably accurate

Im not gonna teach him how to dance with you

122k. rosekiller is the BEST. i love the whole plot tbh and it was so well paced. love that for evan because nobody else is gonna keep by with barty's crazy. i would have liked it more if it had crack undertones but yknow whatever, cant have everything. i thoroughly enjoyed all the romantic tension in the leadup, the way they were both so in love im gone.

All the young dudes - Sirius' Perspective

628k, let me tell you, canon has no right being that sad, and the beloved author just fed off that like a parasite. i should have expected how this fanfic would destroy me, but the delivery made it so much more painful. i sobbed reading the Halloween and Azkaban chapters. and sirius,,, like why did you have to be so angry all the time. and so obsessed with remus from day 1. it was great. although like halfway through i just felt like ... wolfstar is so basic. jegulus once jegulus forever i guess.

whatever our souls are made of

157k hanahaki where we really gotta work for the happy ending. OML it was so beautifully sad. reggie 💔💔. sirius said nobody on the earth deserves his baby brother, but if he had to pick someone, it would be James 😭😭 I'm a broken man

oml i havent updated in 2 months... its ok i didnt read that much cos i was too tired with uni and work. anyway i found all my fics through tiktok, tumblr, or thru the author cos this gold mine is too big sorry chief. which is like. someone recommended this following fic :skull:

I'm not okay (I solemnly swear)

107k and unfinished :000 cant believe it i read something unfinished but when i read the tags i was like ok yeah im in. my secret is that i read fics like these!!! and most of them are not well written but this one is. and so was that other one about sirius but it was only like 78k so i didnt write it up. anyway poor reggie is going through it, and idk if its ever getting finished cos the poor author might be going through it too. additional note: idk if this is the one but bestie has so many problems like get help fr.

the veil of secrecy

100k but its unfinished and let me tell nobody i was devastated. omg it was so sad so the summary is after reggie defected voldymouldy found out and like --- got all his remaining horcruxes and stuffed them inside his chest and abdominal cavity in some crazy ass surgery. and then he sewed his mouth shut and broke his fingers and kept him around him like some porcelain doll/pet and thats the punishment????? oml how do u think of that... anyway so he dissociates into his fabric walls of occlumency so voldy doesnt know where the locket is. ok whatever they escape and he falls in love with jamie idk. its unfinished.

to the boy who...

238k its similar to the previous one (written by the same author ibbsterkisster) and i found it to read to cope with the first one not being finished. yes this is like 3x as long sighs we all know how it is. anyway its similar except reggie is like his boy toy instead... which is even worse. anyway i cant remember anything about the jegulus but i DO remember that evan was so sweet (as he is) he like stroked the bruise on reggies wrist very gently :facepalm: and that scene lives rent free in my brain.

blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

22k and id just like to say, this is the kind of horror that i like. its kinda a mystery at first but its not so creepy, and the jegulus endgame is stronger than a bulletproof vest. so james is having dreams which are vaguely murderous, and when he wakes up the events like kinda match up. turns out hes like having some repetitive dissociative episode every night at 12.37am and getting up to murder people. and after the first time reggie was just like 'well if ur in then im in too' and straight up helps him murder people ?!? i loved it. murder husbands.

the long game

250k and this is the most unique fic youll get here. modern high school au where reggie is like this god genius talented painter and they work on a musical set together, and reggie gets an art show and idk why this stood out to me but he drew like a green soft and a purple cushion and was like... this represents me and evan, cos were ok separately but great together. i read this so long ago i cant even remember what i thought of it

jealousy, jealousy

85k + unfinished again!! anyway so bartylus fake date so james and evan can get jealous and then they both end up together. i just remember it was so cute because they would just hug each other like constantly all the time, and cry at the smallest inconvenience, then their friend/boyfriend would go and lie with them in bed and hug them and that was like a very significant portion of it. and im not even complaining this is the type of physical affection they deserve

pathological people pleaser

114k but it passed so fast?!?! james is so fuckin unstable man like get a therapist. ok i actually enjoyed this so much because for some reason i was really into horror (it was literally 2 days ago) and this wasnt horror but they did not reveal like why james was so fucked, and which parts of his narration were unreliable until quite a bit in. also there was more than a month gap between me bookmarking this one and the last one and like i dont even know what i did with myself??? (actually i lied i read more fanfiction i just forgot i did cos i forgot to bookmark it) (summary: summer holiday where starchaser fall in love also effie died in a car crash on the way to james after he called and was like mom im gonna kms. ok but it was really well written and full of suspense)

anti-hero

237k and i just finished it so its fresh in my mind (for once) ok now that i think about it i have no idea why regulus lived that first time... maybe i didnt read closely enough but like when fics are that long i kinda just miss some stuff or forget it and they all blur together anyway. ok so firstly i want a story of james and regulus in this universe when they were still at hogwarts because like having a secret relationship for 2 years and also doing drugs.. just the hurt comfort ahhh maybe without all the hurt and yelling but whatever. cant have it all. anyway this was so well written i always like narcissa tbh. glad james and regulus sorted out their shit eventually even though it took so. fucking. long. anyway yikes (summary: reggie lives after the cave and they go horcrux hunting and kill voldy but then reggie fucks off to america and becomes a drug addict again but comes back, and james has anger issues but only when it comes to regulus anyway they kept hurting each other that i didnt even feel sad anymore when it happened) addition: oml reggie being an addict + nic in beautiful boy the stars aligned finally i get some visual scenes in this fandom

doing a word count sum of the above and its: 6 million and 476 thousand...

meetings that start in the dark

656k and oml i was SEMI HOOKED. honestly like why did it take them so fucking long to get back together like the moment Voldemort dropped dead James should have been unable to stay away from regulus. anyway love how they're obsessed with each other, love how Luna and Harry are playing matchmaker. and i especially love how Sirius was the lame embarrassing parent ahah. also the amount of bs evan has to put up with from reg and barty... jesus christ i loved them in this except for how he was buff girl no evan is a twink and this fic wont change my mind

sometimes, running away does solve all your problems

15k so reggie literally walks out of his house and his parents dont even notice and he runs away and meets james and they live together it was perfect omfg i loved it so so so much. it had the same sad, resigned tone as the dsmp fics that i was obsessed with before and would reread over and over. and the small village quiet life is a dream

27 club

27k and why was it so heavy oml like i didn't sign up for this sadness. ok so reggie is DEAD but before that he and James were like lovers and drug buddies but also lacked healthy communication. james is like bye imma get clean without u, the literal love of my life. the whole thing was so sad because it would be like one bit of 'oh and they were in love and making music' and then another bit of 'james was mourning so hard he couldnt get out of bed'. it was lowkey magical to read except for how hes dead.

you missed my heart

100k and omfg im in shock tbh. like what the actual fuck. I'm in shock in an "im unsettled and creeped out" way. i don't even know why because ive read serial killer jegulus fics before and it was all peachy, but maybe this one was so creepy because we were in the dark, and the killing isn't unrealistic and romanticised. James was so smitten with regulus too I'm crying i was actually convinced that reggie wasn't the killer. i need soft regulus fluff to cope with this. to erase the image of reggie being a psychopath. omg Sirius after finding out the truth.. poor boy was like catatonic. I'm never reading unhappy ending fics again I've become weak my heart can't take it

I'm going to start including the shorter fanfics that i read and are memorable as well because i don't discriminate

which means i have a lot of catching up to do

the moment and the sound

29k so james runs away with harry to escape voldemort and meets reggie by chance. they live together and james is like straight up depressed. i liked this fic but also forgot what it was like.

raise hell

30k it's basically about them being angels and demons and working together to idk stop the world from ending. i liked the tone of the fic in that everyone was like set in their ways and was like wtf at everyone else but also i wish it was longer and there was more about each person's like representation like Sirius being the angel of justice. also it was so funny regulus the angel of diligence and James the demon of lust.

blackpool

63k and omg it was so well written but i was so confused the whole time cos i have no literary ability. like regulus being a straight up unreliable narrator?!?! deadass in shock half the time reading this tbh

calm before the storm

51k and i could draw a graph of the shock factor of this fic and it would look like a staircase with 3 steps. at the start it was so happy and cute and i was like omg why did i click on this again and then sirius dies and james loses his memory and reggie is like fucked up that's the first step up and then they heal whatever but then reggie straight up starts murdering people and making a show out of it i read it all like 😳😳. unhinged fr, and also everyone tried to kts at least once like besties go see a therapist please

pink lemonade

121k band tour au where they sing (i think mostly) arctic monkeys songs and kudos because the lyrics all fit so well to whatever clown ass miscommunication situation jegulus have going on. it was relationship angst and maybe i would have enjoyed it more if i read it earlier but rn i need action and thrill. i was like to my irl friend like miscommunication angst isn't enough for me anymore i need murder and she was like girl wtf.

youngblood

75k basically jegulus were roommates in juvenile detection and they had such a deep soul connection in the 2 months and then never reconnected until like 9 years later. ok anyway my favourite part was James and how he was so unhinged. like literally provoking bullies so they hurt him is his form of sh... girl get a grip honestly but also respect for the idgaf factor

mercy

36k so james gets possessed by a ??demon called mercy and reg is an exorcist... so its very obvious what drew me into this. anyway james lives at regs house while hes figuring out what the fuck is wrong with him and they just ??? fall in love. ok slow burn was not really burning at all more like a ticking bomb but the horror was cute. also i found it at night and then read it all at like 8-9am in the morning before getting out of bed so i cant remember it but it was well written and the demon was lowkey cute too he was just out for drama which i can relate

[esorxy]

only the brave by soulmussa is the fanfiction of my dreams. i savoured every second of it and now that I'm finished, i don't know what to do with myself.

right. since there's too many amazing beautiful scenes, and also because my brain is already overflowing with content, these are the standouts.

REGULUS. ohhhh his competence is so hot. but he's also so soft. the amount of internal dialogue he has compared to what other people see is so great, he needs someone to understand him completely and he got that!!! and james. ahhh im usually not that into him but he's just so good??! I'm loving the lack of miscommunication we usually get in wolfstar fics

regulus and remus being straight up attracted to each other will never not be funny to me. like brothers in christ we get it. and don't even mention barty. he's just so ??? unhinged ??? idk how he does it. and the in love, absolute sweetheart evan is so into everything he does. they're so perfect im crying. i love how these characters have no personality in canon, and everyone just agreed that they're like this, each of their characters are so well developed and fit together, and i can have hilarious and beautiful scenes to swoon over.

like i love how sirius is so dramatic and unashamed to do whatever the fuck, and remus is always so done but is deep down a bad boy. wolfstar and jegulus just. cannot keep their hands to themselves. i hope they someday learn some restraint because lord have mercy, one day your brains are going to stop working entirely from all the short circuiting that happens the moment your boyfriend enters your line of vision.

anyway mwah best fic ever, im not getting over it for at least another day

but also why did marauders ao3 authors collectively decide that 500k+ is the right length for fics??? because firstly it takes so long to read, and then i can't be bothered to reread it to revisit all the good parts so then i just have to fulfil my brain by watching tiktoks and scrolling pinterest

alright let's end with some pretty pictures of reggie because he's rapidly becoming one of my favourites. i didn't even like timothee chalamet before jegulus fics but like he is the perfect regulus, and lowkey does look like an angel...

[esorxy]

daily updates of thoughts while reading crimson rivers

afterthoughts::

this was so beautifully written and well plotted, it had some of the best scenes and dialogues, and had me swooning, in shock, all of that

(particularly regulus') character development!!! insane!!! this has left me unsatiable, jegulus has me in a chokehold

oh the romance was so sweet, and ever so rewarding after all of the hurt, both jegulus and wolfstar

my only complaint is that its way too long like i lost so much sleep over this, at the end i was so impatient i kept skipping all the side characters povs cos i just wanted to be done with it

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day 1. 10% (games just started)

it took 80k words to get to the start of the games .... what did i get myself into. and i saw tiktoks going like the jegulus WEDDING ?!?!?!?!?! love it when sirius cannot form coherent sentences around remus, but he needs some distraction they literally have the worse luck ever. I'm so glad they dont have horrible communication issues, maybe because theyre all about to die.

oh and if the jegulus parting 'present' wasnt the saddest way to separate especially since they think theyre going to die

aside, i keep comparing sirius to quackity in that hunger games fic and then i remember how much better the dsmp fanfics were especially since i can actually recall the details after like 2 years. back when i thought 100k+ was a long fic oh how naive

so so far, pretty good, im invested in the story enough to not be bored but not THAT invested

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day 2. 31% (games ended, just before interview)

im fuckin invested. why whyyyy so much pain. regulus never fails to be the most hurt in any room aye. and james being touch starved?!? i lived for that shit.

why was it that reading about the games was so thrilling. the life/death oml give my boys a fucking break. they're out now and still no comfort, the only break theyre getting is a break up wtf!!

asides about the games, james was just a dumbass about peter, evan my beloved as always (and glad that the author shares that sentiment), and what the fuck regulus just realising at the end that he had nothing to live for if james died asfhhdsjjfsgjjf

why the fuck was i not satisfied with reading cute one shots or 100k fics,,, the length of this, i don't want to sleep i don't want to eat god help me with this addiction

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day 3. 60% (second games started)

honestly the lack of a mcd tag is the only thing getting me through this. the hope!! i relate to regulus so much on that.

and that's also the only reason im forgiving them for all being fucking IDIOTS and not making the most of their time together. now is the time to profess your love and get your spine realigned my darlings

why is there literally a force field preventing james and regulus from being happy together??? well im not complaining too much because that means that anything they do now is extra special. regulus not being able to resist james??? gahhh im gone.

also them having tea together and actually starting to heal oh theyre so sweet they dont deserve that cruel world.

they literally chose the worst time ever to make up, at least they did at some point, but man they really confessed and got engaged right before... probable death...

oh the amount of pain my poor boys are going through, i wish they can all escape and live in some cozy domestic paradise with everyone they love. but they have to suffer first otherwise the happiness in the end doesn't count for anything.

oh. my. god. CRYING regulus trying to get sirius to kill him and then going soft at the last moment, and i can't believe sirius almost got baited like that and was really about to kill him. but REGULUS, oh my, my sweet gentle boy, he tried so hard, and the aftermath left everyone in fucking pieces.

it is 2.30am, and it takes literally half an hour to make a 2% dent, and i am HOOKED

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day 4. 80% (healing at phoenix)

regulus is on his way to being my favourite and it's entirely cos he's so angsty and unhinged. following through with all of his threats??? fucking hilarious, and his desperate love confessions and having a meltdown every 2 seconds. hes a wreck GET HELP.

sirius, such a literal icon, i strive for his level of don't give a fuck. "what pasta"?!?! my god i love him. hes so gone on remus its sickening. when dumbles asked for his blood, sirius being possessive?!?! if i was remus i would have folded right then and there, literally sold, this man owns him

james high and being obsessed with regulus the angel?!!! im swooning, literal heart attack material. best scene so far.

i love regulus' character development, hes levelled up to be james' first man. goodbye sirius but tbh he has more than enough problems on his own. oh jegulus is so achingly sweet i will not shut up about it. this is the reward after reading through so much couples angst. they love each other so much IM CRYING, the way regulus looked after him after the rescue mission, in all the ways that James didn't after the first games, oh they're finally together and happy, i would die for them.

i am PISSED at how long this fic is. the amount of nothing that I've done these past few days to read this, after this im going to exclusively read one shots for a whole entire week.

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day 5. 100%

sirius dissociating on the roof and remus sitting with him, im sobbing

yeah im deadass sick of the comfort now, theyve had too much that its not special anymore. i just want it to end already.

jegulus finally getting their dream life and dancing by the fireplace,,,, aaaand theyre getting married ahhhhh, my boys,, theyve come so far, i have no words

james holding regulus in bed while they watch the rain to help with his aquaphobia?!!! if thats not the most angsty romantic beautiful scene ever, im in love

why is it so fucking funny that james gets high from getting railed with a dagger to his throat, like legit my man CANNOT even form thoughts anymore hes so far gone 🤐

happily married with 4 kids, its too perfect, domestic, im in shock

aaand guess what im finally finally finished. that took way too long, reading fanfiction should be a full time job.

im never reading anything over 200k in the near future, that was way too much emotional commitment.