esorxy

[esorxy]

is it wangxian in wedding robes?? complete with a red headband?? no, its just them drenched in blood to lure corpses with their own bodies.

[esorxy]

what cql DIDNT show about jin ling was that he lowkey wanted someone to hug him and wail abt how he should look after himself. when reading mdzs i was like 😮 wHat.

at the second siege of the burial mounds, all the other sect leaders were like 'son, when the next wave of zombies come in, save yourself. i love u forever', and JL was like is anyone gonna say smth like that to me 👉👈. WAHH i cried for him. he even side-eyed JC and JC was legit like go away u dumbass 🙄

but god bless WWX its because of him that jin ling finally got that familial love. wwx hugging JL tightly after he almost got strangled and JL wasnt used to being hugged like that 😭 like he doesnt even have friends 😭. lets not forget how he blushed and ran away when wwx said 'even tho ur annoying, im still happy to see u!'

and the closest thing he had to that before wwx was probably.... jin guangyao.....

this is probably JGY's peak humor. child JL sulking and smashing plates at JGY's feet, and just imagine jgy deadpanning: "aiyo, so violent. im scared to death", fake shuddering, and walking away ahahahahahah

[esorxy]

lxc is like "how could i, in good conscience, let my baby brother drown his sorrows in alcohol ....... alone ??!?!?!"

and lwj is like "brother please i just want to mope about wei ying in peace"

fr drunk lxc gives wwx a run for his money, my brain craves more content for that very specific high to make me go on another day

[esorxy]

the idea of lxc linking arms with nmj and happily skipping down the streets of qinghe was single-handedly enough to make me start shipping nielan. the way that they fit the grumpy x sunshine trope so perfectly!!!

has lxc not suffered enough?? he 100% needs and deserves someone who will never do wrong by him, righteous to a T, and can protect him in battle woooo trophy wife i mean what

someone was like liu haikuans interviews sound like hes having an asmr contest, and like!! so true??! and its not helping my perception of lxc either.

and im coming straight from the marauders fandom where everyone actively baby-girl-ifies mass murderers, so im basically a veteran at this.

i KNOW its not just me bc tell me why every fic is like ohhh they were so slender and frail or whatever. like. girls just say it: everyone is a twink. a 188cm twink.

also i swear what is it with them and doing it at inappropriate times in every. single. fic

like in this one fic bro was legit mauled by a some monster and 2 seconds after waking up lxc is straddling him (kms the imagery i hate it here)

[esorxy]

completely obsessed with the way that wwx and lwj KEEP sharing these private looks every 2 seconds

urgh the way they're so on the same page even though they don't actually talk that much, but can just read each other's expressions

especially when WWX goes into emo-gaze-longingly-into-nothing mode bc he's remembering something sad and LWJ is like 'noooo my baby' .. im sobbing they're the best

honestly i might re-watch the whole drama just to focus on how they look at each other

[esorxy]

getting queerbaited by the actors of gay cdrama like...

ZZH did you really need to submissively slide down in gong juns arms like a 19th century wealthy victorian lady weakened by tuberculosis??? bro the cameras aren't even rolling. skeptics would say they're probably so in character, but ME (from 3 years ago) and many other delusionals were totally convinced that we caught them red-handed in a secret relationship

and holding hands during water break ?!? chill out guys. but THE WAY gj is looking at zzh like he's something terribly precious and pretty is so goddamn real.

i swear they weren't even this gay in the actual drama

[esorxy]

word of honor ep31 is something else entirely

they get intercepted on their rescue mission and just as the assassin people were about to rush forward and start stabbing, guess who appears spinning out of nowhere to save his beloved one true soulmate its wkx wearing hot red robes with sexy red eyeshadow, who boomerangs his little paper fan and slices their throats all in one go, does another little spin for dramatic flavour and slowly flutters down like an autumn leaf in the wind, successfully making the most replayed segment of the episode 🍃

and then everything he says from this moment on is like "fuck you, im better than you, eat shit" and DPJ is like "yeah ur cool and all but you're only one person" as if he didnt just kill half your men in one swipe while flying. anyway then zzs is like "who said hes alone" and steps out of his little carriage looking like hes about to die. like bro!! you cant even stand chill tf out. wkx comes over and holds his boyfriend and gets full on whiplash from switching too fast between (1) gazing lovingly at zzs and (2) murderous stares assassin gvng.

then like 3000 ghosts come out from the forest looking for a nice fight with 20 men, half of whom are dead, and the rest of them just dip like nope not today

they all kneel for our favourite gays and then wkx kneels as well and zzs, who still looks like hes abt to collapse and die, is like "fuck yeah im still influential" and awkwardly pats wkx's head like hes some overgrown puppy, which is not entirely inaccurate ykwim

so our power couple gets like 20 more kids for the price of none, and head back to god knows where to meet 😱 some more gays😱 one of them is a healer and the other looks like asian robert sean leonard so... whats new 😮‍💨

wkx finds some time to wipe off his eyeshadow and everyone is ready to die for zzs suddenly, and wkx goes from 🥺 "a-xu is gonna live??" to walking back into ghost valley in the blink of an eye without even changing clothes. scorpion king is also there 😱😱 i didnt even know they were working together cos i skipped all of the boring old people scenes. the twinks face off in some intense power play conversation where everyone wants to top, wkx has a mid life crisis in his pajamas featuring genocide and suicide but then hes like but SOMEONE taught me to live love laugh aka im in love, finishing off a killer episode that fully lives up to the drama part of chinese drama. my man needs to be locked up. in a mental hospital.

bonus: zzs in ep32, freshly injured from having metal hooks stabbed through his shoulders, is like "noooo little girl don't you know i need alcohol to live???" huge announcement everyone youve dedicated your lives to following an alcoholic 🤦

twink healer is like "bro u cant even taste shit" and james wilson is like "remember when u wanted me to find u a cute gf... but turns out... (ur gay)"

omg i wanted to stop, but like the dramatic clown ass scenes just keep coming what can a girl do 🤷

so zzs goes back to serving face (not that he ever really stopped) and he overhears that wkx is about to be forced off a cliff 😱. so flutters into this 50v1 fight with about 2% of the dramatic flair that wkx has, steps up to kiss him except they cant cos censorship, and is like "me n u against the world babe." 🤦

yby comes too cos this drama is tiresome and neverending, and wkx is like "im tired, kill me 🫠", which is so relatable, but then he puts up a damn good fight before falling off the cliff from one tiny needle through the heart. zzs also jumps after him and everyone is like 😱 even though they can literally fly.

but hes dead (not rly) so zzs burns his corpse by kicking a lamp at it and sits at the cliff to reminisce the good old times when he was a hobo and wkx followed him around like a clingy wife. he relapses into alcoholism and pulls all his nails out aaaand this is just romeo and juliet with gay and dramatic flair 😮‍💨

when do they stop serving face honestly like im fed up 🤦

[esorxy]

rewatching word of honor wow this show is so unhinged and so gay. like fr girl im rolling my eyes watching wkx go through his 4 moods: murderous, emo sad, emo gay and delusional.

why did they make up so much plot like anyone whos watching this is watching for the pretty boys serving face and being gay. my man zzs just wanted to be a drunk homeless and lie in the sun for 3 years

girl i live for wkx level of unhinged and bipolar. bruh that scene with his ghosts where he was like oh noo buddy dont worry let me help you up BY THE THROAT and straight up strangles him then hangs him up by a noose and is like haha ok lets continue our meeting where we discuss how youve all failed me...

okay and then when he finds out his one true love is about to die he just sits in the rain on some bridge playing his flute depressedly, waxes some edgy poetry and flies off into the night ?Q?Q?! bestie needs to get a grip

and like zzs... can he stop serving face for one hot minute and give his man some attention??! like girl one minute he's making puppy dog eyes on the verge of tears just thinking about his emo past and depressing ass future without his soulmate and next minute he starts waxing poetry as some sort of delusional coping mechanism WELL at least he's pretty so he gets a pass for everything mwah but man they need couples therapy

like oh my god we get it you're both fucking beautiful and pretty. and wkx is such a simp but who can really blame him

[esorxy]

im regretting not writing an ongoing commentary of pathological people pleaser, because fics like these, that straight up give me whiplash and have me hanging onto every word, are so rare, and i only get to read it for the first time once. but I'm at 79% and it's not too late to start

this absolute masterpiece brings me back to the sadness of dsmp authors whose desolation bled into their writing, but it also has the extremely well written bit of marauders authors

The withholding of information!!!! i live for the suspense and the buildup where we can relate to the characters not knowing anything

Peter and Emmeline are so great in this fic. em especially. she's literally a healthy version of everyone on tiktok

barty you did not need to serve that hard, but pop off king

James going through the morning while not wanting to live anymore 😭

holy shit reg and montys call 😭 i knew it James was unreliable

yeah this was so good but i am too dumb to fully get it

[esorxy]

i have way too many opinions about legends of the condor heroes (specifically 2017 version)

i remember reading the English translation on my kindle at the swimming carnival in high school and boy i was HOOKED

every adult acts like a child but (some) with very very strong morals

there is never a boring day with (1) zhou botong and (2) hong qigong

chill tf out on the avenging and whatever okay... literally by avenging his father, guo jing became the person behind the deaths of so many other people's fathers

yang kang and mu nianci have a better love story than guo jing and huang rong. but they only make for a good side couple cos it's a fighting story not a love story. yang kang is straight up manipulated by wanyan honglie tbh like it's only 70% his fault that he turned out to be a shit person. anyway he's like a sad angry guy and that fits some molds except he's also shit. he only goes like "oh nianci i love u let's go back to ur farmhouse forever" when either she's in danger or he needs her (which is quite often so i guess it's ok). anyway sucks that he's so ugly compared to mu nianci, like if i was him i would be so happy that such a pretty girl liked me.

also mu nianci is literally suicidal i feel like everyone forgets about that. like girl needs support figures in her life but has no one.

ouyang feng isn't really evil he's just power hungry, and not even for power over people. he's like a very very determined gym bro. and also very easily manipulated

hua zheng is literally so clown. why would u so desperately want to marry a guy who only has eyes for someone else. she's a literal princess, anyone would be lucky to have her but nooo she wants the one guy who doesn't.

wang chongyang is kinda hot

guo jing lives life so not carefree. just from the way he said (twice) that he would marry hua zheng instead of huang rong because he needs to "honour his word" like what do you get out of not doing what you want to ...

love how the elders all say they care about their reputation or whatever but when it actually comes down to it they just do whatever they want and use their reputation as an excuse for themselves

this is literally a crack fic and i loved every second of it

i don't understand why li ping stabbed herself because guo jing fought his way out carrying her body, and he could have done it whether she was dead or alive

i like how everyone, even the villains, have a plausible perspective and reasoning for their actions

taohua dao is so pretty, and boy when zhou botong was like "ye i spent 15 years here, practice wugong it went by pretty fast" like BOY you really don't value your time on earth aye i thought you liked fun stuff

[esorxy]

Reggie, I'm sad, I want to hold you in my arms.

Jamie, I'm here, I'll keep you away from harm.

[esorxy]

dancing in the golden refrigerator light, regulus standing on james' feet because hes still frail and weak, im sobbing a river

whatever our souls are made of was heartbreaking to read

Hanahaki is always beautiful and devastating but oh I've never had to work this long for the happy ever after. they were literally accepting that he was gonna die...

and in true marauders fashion, it's the secrets and miscommunication after all

every second of it was so very well written, i want to hold onto every last sentence

but i wish we got more of the relief, healing and domesticity afterwards, like

sirius smothering reggie with affection and then we see him pretending that he doesn't love it

them being overprotective of him forever

James treating reggie very gently when he's healing and princess carrying him when he gets tired. and you know regulus soaks that shit up like a sponge

playing in the snow and they make another snowman ☃️

ok this is kinda sad but imagine regulus gets injured again from quidditch and he cant play anymore. 1. imagine the hospital again except now jegulus is actually a couple and 2. reggie opening his bookstore !!!! (with remus)

im obsessed with the black brothers in this, can you tell

[esorxy]

Something about James Potter being hurt and comforted by The Gang is so captivating to read.

It's so new every time because unlike regulus, sirius or remus, there's nothing really in canon that authors can base it off, so whatever they put James through is literally off their head, which makes it usually really well written because the author is clearly into it.

James and reggie are lowkey a dark aesthetic couple

[esorxy]

ATYD Sirius POV had no right to be that devastating, and it's saying something that the saddest fanfic ever is canon compliant.

and atyd already destroyed me the first time so i don't know why i thought Sirius POV would be better, especially cos he was the most hurt, the most betrayed, lost James AND Regulus.

The only way they could have made it even more sad was if they wrote their deaths...

[esorxy]

Reading ATYD Sirius POV after i saw this tiktok which was said "remus is barbie and sirius is ken" with the audio like "barbie has a good day everyday, but ken only has a good day if barbie looks at him" - and ive only read 20% so far but they could not be more correct!! Sirius is down so bad from the very beginning without even realising it

its actually quite good that i finished atyd months ago and can't really remember it because this is like rereading an old fanfiction without the bore of re-reading the same paragraphs.

and i can't really list out the highlights like i do with other fanfics (mostly jegulus) but it's just enjoyably well written with thorough developments for Sirius' characterisation and coming of age experience.

i was like 50k words in when i realised that atyd entails astronomical amounts of miscommunication which i hated the first time around. its too painfully canon... i missed when jegulus would solve everything. watching sirius and regulus' relationship fall apart so far was devastating, and i know sirius is the protagonist but like really, he totally could have still had his brother somewhat on his side. and i love regulus so that makes me sad and want to read jegulus fanfiction.

tldr; pros: so well written and developed, nostalgic; cons: miscommunication as a theme, canon = PAIN & SAD

generalised highlights

- Sirius being so annoyed at peter everyday lmfao

- the way he tried so hard to get through to remus

- i mentioned this last time that Sirius was such a sweet boyfriend to remus once they started dating, but from the very start, he was always considerate and protective of his more so than towards his other friends

- i love this author and i think it must have been fun writing this because the plot is set, and all the dialogue and chapters are set, but they still manage to come up with a full story and somewhat separate plots. I think this is an excellent example of "everyone is the main character of their own life." but secondly, they knew very well what they were doing. sirius was subconsciously head over heels for remus, and the omniscient reader (me) enjoys every second of it.

- sirius' thoughts towards mary so far are so funny i cant. hes like 'i should be feeling something but its just not happening'. boy is so confused. all her flirting and hes just *panics*. meanwhile remus puts a hand on his shoulder and hes like "ive never experienced something so good ever". oblivious gay awakening

~~~

i FORGOT this was the fic where sirius hit regulus with a bludger and gave him head trauma, and then sped all the way down to the ground to him. and IM DISTRAUGHT theres no comfort for regulus in canon. im going to have to read CR or OTB again after this...

the toast bit <3333 actually so adorable.

(edit: omg i FORGOT what the toast bit was so i had to ctrl f the whole fic to find it and omg it was sirius telling reggie that ghouls are afraid of toast so that he will sleep at night omg it IS cute. idk why i thought it would be sirius making moonys toast or something obviously wolfstar is not my cup of tea anymore)

sirius' life is just confusion, anger, confusion again, denial, convince me otherwise

~~~

- "actually, im always sirius" 🙄🙄🙄

- jily indifference club

- lowkey bored of wolfstar, sue me

- need to read MC regulus fics rn tbh

~~~

IM done!!!

final thoughts

- why was that so fucking sad

- Every fanfic author has a soft spot for regulus you can't convince me otherwise

-

[esorxy]

"I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you"

says evan, but will teach him how to dance anyway because of peer pressure

- barty being jealous of evan and regulus getting cozy together, when theyre getting HIGH

- the amount of romantic tension every time they got slightly close. of course barty is all over evan, like who wouldn't be??? then evan freaking out every time, also who wouldnt???

- pandora's wedding was so picturesque beautiful, and then theyre building a house in that same place?1!?!? actually crying

- pandora's cat being named reggie the third, and i only realised when they were eloping. so that scene at the start where evan went to pandoras room i thought regulus was just casually sleeping on her windowsill lmfaoo

- barty and pandora being called an aesthetic couple, but evan and pandora are cousins with the same hair and skin tone GASP the author knew what they were doing

- barty is just like why work hard to earn money when i can just forge a legal document and rob a bank. honestly goals. meanwhile evan is like i work all night i work all day to pay the bills i have to pay

- marlene rocking up to a wedding and cursebreaking job in a band tshirt and jeans like whats up fuckers

- thanking the collective marauders fandom for the personalities they developed out of thin air for each character, and the FANCASTS, oH MY GOd. theyre all so pretty and look so good together, im throwing heart eyes

- all of the character descriptions matched my imagination so well. of course barty is taller and not too buff but still like kinda built, evan is shorter and regulus is just ... theres no other word except a twink (sorry). that scene where evan was like he could stop reg from dragging away him away because he is taller and bigger but regulus is stubborn af so he just goes along with him. and evan and regulus being all buddy buddy with their feelings oh theyre so adorable

- barty didnt need to sleep with all those people, he just wanted SOMEONE so he wasnt alone... *sobs* poor baby

evan at the start: youre gone, and i gotta stay high all the time, to keep you off my mind, ooooo

evan at the end: im in love, im in love, love in a hurricane

[esorxy]

things i love in masterminds

- regulus just freefalling into the ground in the middle of a quidditch match

- narcissa & regulus. her crying when he asks for help. him helping her through her miscarriage

- moonwater writing fanfiction

- ok i didn't love this one but the shock of walburga just murdering orion at the dinner table

- the essay type references at the end of every chapter

- them (especially sirius) crawling into each others beds to cry abt the most minor inconvenience

- regulus saying adapt, adapt, adapt.