#oh did you know hes depressed?
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OK, but are his self-aware depresso comments meant to take the piss, or are the writers convinced they have to be as on-the-fucking-nose as possible in case their idiot viewers don't get that he has..oh, I don't know, depression?
"It took me all my energy to come here because I'm a depressed person." Yes, thank you. That's been established. No one is confused about that, my guy. I love that he's a wet blanket of sadness and dgaf's, but the fat suit and the meta-depresso comments just make me laugh.
Jang Ki Yong as "Bok Gwi Ju"
The Atypical Family 히어로는 아닙니다만 (2024) // Episode 2
#the atypical family#jang ki yong#kdrama#i understand the fat suit has a purpose and its already been explained so i know itll be short lived but its as subtle as a fart to the face#like the chips in the hospital room#really?#chips on the cliff#chips at the gym#we fucking get it guys#oh did you know hes depressed?#in case you dont EVERY CHARACTER will remind you including himself#just...stop treating me like i also have chips for brains#ok ok im good.#i actually am really enjoying the drama despite my bitching#the premise is SUPER interesting too#cant wait for real feelings to happen on her end#i already know hes more than capable of that so itll come as less of a surprise#but im here for the journey#also wtf is the point of his power?#hi. you get to powerlessly rewatch happy moments in case you..get sad? like. why? and why always leave to help people? he cant? huh
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DINA MEYER as Detective Allison Kerry in Saw III (2006)
#horroredit#sawedit#filmedit#dina meyer#allison kerry#saw franchise#saw iii#saw 3#moviesedit#mygifs#userlenny#mikaeled#horrorwomensource#filmgifs#userstream#moveigifs#best girl kerry 💔#fuck amanda for sabotaging kerry's trap#i wonder if hoffman knew about that tho#he helped to put kerry in the trap because she was too heavy for amanda#but apart from that did he know it was an execution#even in director and actor's commentaries there's nothing about that#kerry's 'test' was a huge bs anyway#'you're dead inside' oh fuck off#try to work in that line of work and be good and see all the bs she sees and maintain stable mental health all the time#are you fucking kidding me#getting people into traps for depressive episodes duuuuuuude#it was just an execution to silence her because she was too close to catch them#and they couldn't dig any legit dirt on her (like with eric) so they were like 'yeah we are accusing you of... having a depression'
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timcassie is so compelling to me. they were not into each other even a little bit. it was such a messy coping mechanism fuelled entirely by grief. they were making out with each other because they were both substituting each other for kon. cassie was far more aware she was doing this than tim was. unironically, dating a girl here is one of the gayest things tim has done
#rimi talks#it is SO messy and its so fun. i don't think geoff even realized the implications but they sure are there when you read it#god... you know its BAD when modern comics have me missing tt03 of all Fucking comics#but like. todays ''tell don't show'' writers would N E V E R do something this interesting#tom taylor would be all. oh! tim we shouldn't kiss. i'm just substituting you for kon because i miss him and you were his best friend!#and then he'd have tim go oh wow cassie you're right i didn't realize that! my bad. all forgiven? yay!!! :)#GOD YOU KNOW ITS BAD OUT HERE WHEN I THINK *GEOFF* DID SOMETHING RIGHT. GOD. GOD#GEOFF MY MORTAL ENEMY GEOFF. grits teeth yeah geoffrey i have to give you this one............#its just such a deliciously unhealthy coping mechanism. theyre a MESS. theyre using each other. theyre only able to go on bc of each other#its not a romance but it IS a codependency#bart isn't even dead yet when this happens. like. he's just off being the flash.#bart (extremely depressed bc he couldnt stop sbp and hold him in the speed force forever): :| ok#not his circus. not his monkeys.#well it is his monkeys even if he left the circus. but he's too depressed to deal with it#but its so fun. this relationship is haunted. there's a ghost in the middle. they both want to kiss him instead of each other.#tim#cassie#timcassie
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the way some people talk about shane stardew valley irks me so bad
#this guy has been struggling w his mental health and alcoholism#and is in such a dark place and struggles so much#and he may lash out and be rude but only when you literally dont know him at all#'oh he goes back to drinking even after he said he'd quit!'#did you see his 14 heart event?#he switched to cola#people are like ohh his room is so messy and#you cant fix him#blah blah SHUT UPP#maybe im more sympathetic bc i see a lot of myself in him! (not trhe alcoholism part but the depression for sure!)#it also just irks me when people talk shit abt him KNOWING abt his mental health storyline! what is your problem!#is this your attitude towards anyone in your life who struggles with substance addiction and mental health????#genujnely fuck anyone who talks about shane like this IT PISSES ME OFF SO BAD#sdv
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I will laugh so hard if it turns out that John is making a sincere effort at being a decent parent and it's such an awful outcome for Gideon that I feel like it's plausible. He's giving off such man who thinks of himself as a good guy confronted with oops baby vibes.
#like he did get babytrapped and in fact attempted baby murdered and he knows he shouldn't make it Gideon's problem so he's trying not to#but she is a walking reminder of his dead besties' murder attempt#just. the way he says no reason to be an asshole to the mother of your child#the way he's like oh no you don't have to swear loyalty to me that's an inappropriate amount of pressure to put on our relationship#very funny under the murderstances#but also these are the words of a dude who felt tremendous contempt for men who whine about child support#and yet!! he's a tremendously vindictive and self centred person. what's a guy to do#he got babytrapped and it wasn't even because they wanted him around! it's because they wanted him gone!#and his kid is the murder weapon!#how is this fair?#very fun intersection of him knowing what the correct answer most in line with his values is#with the bit where he's just wildly unqualified to do that#you've got a#sims playing alcohol abusing vengeful god in the midst of a depressive episode#taking a deep breath and attempting a child centric approach#he's not going to be good at it!#he is also not going to immediately murder her to fuck over his enemies tho so he's still winning#for now!
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ok imagine nightmare sans. now imagine those minecraft villager trading halls where all the villagers are stuck in the little cell blocks to get ideal trades. now that but replace the villagers with the murder time trio and ideal trades with negativity. he's maxxing out the negativity output for every square foot i guess,,,,,,,
there's absolutely NO space for movement it's practically a little closet. only thing is like basic necessities like food and water distributed by a killer (because he wouldn't get attatched to any of them when there's so many,,,, perhaps a different cell warden for a killer only section to avoid a killer meeting another killer and then having to deal with the mindboggle they'd face and then UGH!!!) these little negativity farms cost so little effort to make!!! all nightmare has to do is keep as many (living) sanses (IN FACT NOT EVEN THE TRIO!! but also the trio since they're easy to break down) in as little space as possible and he's practically got like. + 100k negativity every hour with just 6 of these farms. how efficient!
what do you mean it violates the genevarsal convention. DREAM STOP CONDUCTING PRISON BREAKS
(a little birdie told me u wanted 2 be tagged,,, @qin-qin16)
#nightmare's ideal vacation would be at one of these negativity farms#aaaah the screams of the angered and the sobs of the devastated..... killer go fetch me another piña colada#this line of thought is around the same as my nightmare but he's an immature brat and the trio are his replaceable toys#i laugh behind my screen at the ridiculousness of those but i know that someone else behind their screen is aghast#this is a bit concerning but listen LISTEN ok listen...... are you listening. its not that bad people have had worse thoughts#oh i can just IMAGINE all the suffering that happens here it's demented. i love my trio but man#i should really stop putting them into terrible dehumanizing situations. this is like the 14th time now.........#LISTEN ITS EITHER THIS OR THE 34TH RANT ABOUT THE TRIO HATING AND MAULING EACH OTHER. WHICH ONE WOULD YOU RATHER TRIGLYCERNATION#now add white torture into this- TRIGLYCERCULE THATS ENOIUUUUUGHHHHHH#now i know DAMN well there's like a lottery everyday and it's to see who'll get out#but then it just ends up being whoever becomes nightmare's personal tormentee until they die#i meaaan theres an INFINITE amount of aus out there. infinite copies of the trio. he can afford to lose 1 or 2. maybe 3. 4. ok 5#the cells do not get cleaned up. they are caked in the dust of all the others who have died in there#and when a dust copy is ripped from his au after killing papyrus for the first time he is only left confused and devastated#whos dust is here? the tally marks on the walls?? the dried vomit in the corner?? the weird guy monitoring him 24/7?? WHAT IS GOING ON#and then it starts to sink in and oh god if this wasn't the worst possible time for him to be introduced to the multiverse. AND TERRIBLY TO#and then he gets angry. he just decided to start killing his underground and now he did ALL THAT FOR NOTHING??? HE CAN'T HELP HIS AU IN HER#and then depression. he doesn't know how long he'll be stuck here. dust denies food and water he only silently cries and zones out#yada yada bargaining and then acceptance by which then if he's completely numb and providing no emotions killer disposes of him#it's not only dehumanizing for the prisoners but also absolutely terrible for the warden killer too#all these faces eventually blend into one and not even the most anguished of cries about other versions of papyrus do anything#SOMEONE STOP THIS MADNESS BRUH DREAM!!! DREAM PLEASE!!!!! DREAM STOP YOUR BROTHER BRO#obligatory reminder that i do not support any of this i just thought of it and it was funny but also crazy so i had to make this. REMINDER!#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#nightmare sans#bad sanses
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HOW DARE YOU SHOW ME THIS MAN EXCITED TO HOLD A BABY WHEN HES NEVER GONNA GET TO HOLD HIS OWN HEY COME BACK HERE I JUST WANNA TALK!!!!!!!
#from ch 966#one piece#gold d roger#wano#HEY NO YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME#YOU CANT BE LIKE OH HE LIKES BABIES AND HES GOOD WITH BABIES AND HES NEVER GONNA MEET HIS OWN#HEY EXCUSE ME WHAT#did these babies make him want a baby of his own is that how this is all intertwined look look im fine okay im fine IM NOT FINE#please know that at work i hoist each baby up like this before a diaper change so its fun for them#im fine this is fine#one time in college i held a baby for the first time in years and my depression lifted for the first time in months#and then eventually i went into childcare look okay look i relate to this man GIVE HIM A BABY IM BEGGING#reading op#op manga
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as a little treat i am sharing with you little Aya doodles I've done over the last few days to unwind ww just little expressions based on lines in-game because those are always fun to draw. nothing too special just biscuit
it's Aya because upon doing bizarrely throughout playthroughs of the game for still unspecified project purposes I've gained a soft spot for her she's my daughter now my mental tier list on my favorite characters is so confusing right now
#re:kinder#fanart#aya re:kinder#aya hibino#i state shes my daughter NOW because before i didnt pay too big of a mind to her#but honestly in each different playthrough of this game i gain new appreciation for each character#because fun fact ryou was my favorite character at first just because he seemed nice and was a healer and was nice#second playthrough brought in rei and shunsuke in my mind because they ate it up wirh their roles in the story#meanwhile as time passed yuuichi started to grow on me as i realized he was a little too relatable BASICALLY THINGS LIKE THAT#and spoilers for the unspecified project mentioned in the text just because i feel like it#i also did this because having a transcript of every line just spurred me on becquse of how easy it made things#its much more fun to start doing these kind of line based doodles when you dont have to manually go througj hours of gameplay to find stuff#so just being ablr to ctrl f through a document made me very glad HEUEHEHEBEHR#im still working on it it needs proofreading and polishing on some sides but overall it should be here soon i hope#if anyones interested in it do let me know HUEHEHEBRB i will post it regardless but it would be nice to know if anyone is interested#ANYWAY#as to why Aya seems to have a purse when her sprite doesnt its because her equipment mentions her carrying a yellow pouch#its meant to be that!!!#she looks very goofy with it on made me giggle ngl#(as in. amusement)#it adds more interest to her visual design so its nice to have it there im glad its there#OH YEAH SOME COMMENTARY ON ONE OF HER LINES HERE THAT REALLY PIQUED MY INTEREST#if sayaka dies and shes there to see it (thus. you chose to bring her with you) she has this line#where it implies that shes afraid of dying which makes things sad when she's suicidal#she already states i think her desire is more to disappear than to die exactly but even then it's quite sad#like even if she wants to disappear with how gloomy she's feeling and all the things going around with her parents#shes just a little girl who doesn't want to die😭😭#it really adds a sense of realism to how depression is tackled in game at least for me#that when one is depressed and suicidal a lot of the time it's the wish for this state of suffering to end rather than to actually die#SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER ITS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT UPPED MY APPRECIATION FOR HER
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I can't explain it in a way that doesn't make me sound delusional but. I believe in Viktor Jinx interaction part 2 Getting Worse boogaloo
#the way he's like 'we could use you here you could build for good instead of destruction' and she's like 'yknow what nvm'#like clearly he knows what she can do#and in a round about way he DID kinda sorta offer a team up#so could he keep that in mind for when he resurrects? like 'i need another scientist oh wait i know someone#who will be depressed and seconds from killing herself and also just as smart'#jayce sure as hell isn't going to team up with him. he's the one that knows hextech and clearly not on his side#but you know who else knows about hextech besides vik and jayce? jinx#jinx who is likely going to be at her lowest cause of losing isha and vander (if they really do die)#remember she expressed those thoughts of 'whether im pulling the pin or not everyone who gets close to me leaves'#idk man idk. just a thought. just putting it out there#there's still potential#its whether that opportunity will be be used in the story. if the writers will use it#either way im rooting for more parallels and/or more interaction#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#act 2 spoilers#viktor#viktor arcane#jinx#jinx arcane#viktor and jinx#jinx and viktor#mettys posts#metty posts
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i found this lore entry recently and have not stopped thinking about it since. it is HYSTERICALLY funny to me that fandaniel's villain origin story was just being a fuckin boomer
One of few great minds in a land that had seen the slow, yet steady numbing of its people's intelligence, Amon long lamented the sorry state of Allag , concentrating his early scientific efforts on developing medicines to increase mental capacity . He soon realized that it was not knowledge that the Allagans lacked. If anything, they had too much. What his people lacked was a leader. With a renewed sense of focus, Amon shifted his studies to the field of vivimancy, and soon was conducting experiments on his own flesh in order to attain his final goal - the resurrection of Xande the First.
— Encylopaedia Eorzea Volume I, p. 25
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv amon#ffxiv fandaniel#i just. i Just.#the fact that he tried to fix it by doing research to literally just give people extra brain cells#before deciding the problem was ipad babies is KILLING me#i don't know why it's so hilarious but oh my fucking god#like obviously his real problem with it was a) that whole post about how there's Fun and there's Satisfaction from Achievement#which you need a balance of; because if you don't get enough fun you get stressed#but if you don't get the feel-good chemicals that come from working at and accomplishing things#it will fuck you up Badly; and make you horribly depressed; and you will probably try and substitute more and more Fun in a vicious cycle#b) not only did he live in the depressing nightmare sinkhole of resulting society-wide mental illness#but his attempts to preserve his sanity with meaningful work kept being appropriated into Fun by other people instead#and c) his exposure to the endpoint of 'utopia'; where everyone is happy and all their needs are (supposedly) met#was watching people get Bored and proceed to entertain themselves with horrific sadism and cruelty#he doesn't come right out and explicitly make that connection out loud; but going by his speech in the aitiascope it's pretty obvious#there's a Lot going on there; especially once you start getting into how he leans *into* the cruelty he hated so much#i could go on and probably i'll write up posts about it. it's fucked up and tragic and on a serious narrative level it tracks#but it's also SO SO FUNNY#ffxivtag#FF tag#shitposting#ableism cw#endwalker spoilers
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Something something, the VERY obvious nature of knowing exactly what insecurity a fictive is going to adopt, and sure enough its EXACTLY the thing you thought it would be. And it expresses in the same way
#why are they like this. im they#its like “oh i bet Hilda has an issue with fitting in and connecting to animals more than people. not like that's something#the system as a whole has experienced consistently in this life and has related to her off the bat for that shi“#“haha i bet Lucifer has depression and he hates himself too! hes so me” no. im me#he.#and I hate MYself. you dont GET jt. just kidding you definitely do. it sucks dont it#i bet other luci fictives feel this way too (cuts to them having the BEST time)#system babbles#vent#lucifer morningstar#i self loathe so much god damn LMAO. and im laughing and pointing finger guns rn but im in agony. like straight up#and i know its rebellious to love yourself its all we got and its the answer to everything love love love love love.#i CAN'T STOP. i just don't feel like i deaerve anything good and that whatever bad thing happens to me im like#“yeah that makes sense. i had that comin. I definitely walked onto the timeline that that happened so i cant even get mad or upset or feel-#like i deserve any justice or relief or comfort. yeah i definitely deserve to suffer even if it literally wasnt my fault or something i did“
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I finished act 2 again, but properly this time. and I cannot even begin to put into words how satisfying and beautiful all of that was. I loved act 2 the first time I played, but figuring out how to save the last light this time, properly completing halsin's quest, storming moonrise towers with jaheira and her harpers, seeing aylin reunite with isobel...all of it. I love it even more. and the beginning of act 3 feels all the more rewarding, having fixed my past errors.
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#that was. incredible. I can't believe I missed so much the first time I played.#but at least having messed up the first time gives me a greater appreciation for the full story.#I did the “lift the shadowcurse” quest SO assbackwards last time I missed like. 90% of halsin's act 2 dialogue.#he IS cute. I am just STUPID. and learned nothing from dunking on gale before- when that was ALSO my own colossal mistake.#jaheira also gets such a badass moment of glory if her harpers as still alive. if you lose last light like I did before...#...god the assault on moonrise feels so...depressing. I felt so fucking bad for her the first time I played.#but I thought that you couldn't save isobel! and that's just what was supposed to happen! fool was I!#oh and if your tav fails the perception check on mizora when she first sends wyll to rescue zariel's asset- HE renegotiates his contract!#which I like better? I like when the companions get to choose their own fate! I like wyll taking a stand for himself! it was awesome!#and well. if corydalis used his outrageous charisma stat to push mizora into giving wyll a funky new sword? that's just friendship <3#the relationship between aylin and isobel is beautiful. I'm so happy that I replayed to save isobel. I much prefer seeing aylin happy :)#barcus. barcus. barcus. I want to criticise you but I'm in love with astarion so. can I really talk???#well maybe /I/ can't. but corydalis is Aware and playing mental manipulation chess with astarion. out of pure intent. but still.#join our polycule barcus. please. we will treat you better. I promise <3333#anyways. not ready for the buggiest part of the game again. but at least I know what's going on this time.
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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Now I normally try to finish books (kindle) even if they aren’t the best bc who knows maybe the story will pick up later or whatever, but when the god damn main woman character (in this fantasy book) refuses to eliminate a threat (the villain that terrorized her her whole life, caused all kinds of death, destruction, terror, chaos, he’s completely evil and unhinged) even though she is in a position of power to do so and just puts him in jail instead bc “it’s not in my nature, I can’t 😢” even though literally everyone (that knows 10x better than she ever will) tells her that this guy needs to be killed bc otherwise the whole town and surrounding towns will never be safe again. But noooo for some reason she would rather let this a-hole live and allows his minions to continue walking free amongst the ppl with no consequences whatsoever but, fine, fine I will keep reading, surely she will change her mind soon. Que evil villain escaping (something everybody saw coming a mile away) and in his escape with the help of his minions (they were plotting???? What a surprise!!! 😒) he causes even more death, destruction, chaos, terror, at least 45 ppl die during his big escape and so the ppl come to her again and are like “well damn, that was a shit show, now he’s on the loose and needs to be stopped immediately. It’s obvious no one is safe, this guy is a rabid dog that needs to be put down. Girl holding the highest position of power now, surely you see that this can’t go on and as soon as he’s found he needs to be killed! Right?” And her god damn response after everything is basically “but but but… I don’t wanna 🥺” then no I’ve gotta quit the story I mean for fucks sake! How stupid can you be “well I don’t want my time as ruler to go down in history as violent 🥺 there must be another way, I want my ppl safe” like girl none is safe with you as ruler you absolute numbskull! “But but but my morals 🥺” fuck you and your stupid “morals”. Grow up! you don’t care about anyone but yourself. If you actually cared about your ppl you would eliminate the villain that has been terrorizing them for years. How about you give these poor people a little peace of mind instead of whining about your morals. You are more of a threat to them at this point with your inaction. You only care about your feelings and your comfort regarding certain subjects, and yet everybody around is like practically forced to coddle her and be all oh it’s not your fault it’s ok, like no it’s not ok, you are a moron and are not fit to rule! ridiculous, why am I so enraged over some shitty book on kindle? I mean this is a 3 book series, I’m abandoning it about a handful of pages into the second book, I just can’t!
#oh! oooohhh! and!#the villain and 2 of his minions kidnapped her and her friend before she had her position of power ok#the villain who is of courses obsessed with main girl he focuses mainly on her#both girls get beat up blah blah#and then the two minions drag her unconscious friend into a room and keep her there for days#after being rescued the friend has a haunted look in her eye and is a shell of who she once was#and the main girl is like I just can’t figure out why she’s so depressed#she’s not her happy go lucky self anymore#I have no idea what those two evil men did to an unconscious woman behind closed doors for days#I just can’t figure out why she isn’t recovering as fast as me from the ordeal#I mean what is with her I just don’t know#while I rack my brain I’m gonna let the exact two men who took her away to wander free with no consequences around the town#someone asks her if she wants to do something about those two men that helped with the kidnapping#no she says I’m gonna wait until they actually do something#I’m sorry what??! they kidnap you both beat you terrorize you and drag your unconscious friend behind closed doors for days#and you still can’t figure out what they did to her and yet that’s not enough for you to take action??#what the absolute fuck do you think they did with her you Imbecile!#I mean the villain has only be threatening to turn you into his s*x slave but you can’t connect that to your friends ordeal??#I mean really?#you don’t know?#I would certainly consider that enough to take action but#I just….#the idiocy physically hurts me#you are supposed to be the heroine and you are a complete idiot#I hate you girl
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i really want to promote my ao3 here but the prospect of linking my work to me in such a tangible way is horrifying
#as i've said a million times i know it's silly bc i think most ppl recognize who i am both places#but the prospect of like. having a direct link#rather than ppl figuring it out by association#scary!!#i'm just frightened that ppl on both sides will be like 'oh.......that's *you*?????'#like disappointed bc they like my writing but find my tumblr annoying (or vice versa)#or else that they check out my writing from my tumblr and think it's awful........#idk why i've been so self-conscious of my writing recently 😭 like i really am not /that/ self-conscious of a person generally#but for some reason every time i start to talk about or think about my writing i get so shy and nervous and almost upset#because idk. i guess i just put a lot of effort into it and it does actually mean a lot to me#and i know it's not perfect but i would hate for someone to like. watch me put all this effort into it and be scoffing in their head#like 'ha. he actually thinks he's good. what a loser'#idk man.#i think too. i put a lot of myself in my writing.#a lot of my experiences and emotions and thoughts and personality#which is maybe Not Good#but the result is like. if someone doesn't like my writing. what does that mean for me#what must they think of me‚ then?#well. sorry for getting depressing on the timeline yet again#did not mean to turn this into an emotional rant but here we are...
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Oh lads. We are Going Through It
#guys who’s been going through it for the last 8 months with no break from the It:#I’m fine! I’m okay! I can help you I’m so good I’m offering help to YOU#one of the plentiful Its is ofc dysphoria and when I messaged my friend he was nice enough#but ‘oh you’ll get there’ and ‘you’re ALREADY a handsome chap!’ like no I’m not#I look like a 12 year old#I look like a stereotype#I had to shave off what facial hair I did have and. yeah#and I know it’ll never happen for me too#I don’t have transition goals anymore just empty hopelessness#besides I’d lose my family what little left there is of it#like. my mum. my grandmum. tbh I’m not even sure if my cousin would talk to me as often#or she’d get in trouble for supporting me if she did#idk man. I’m grieving. depressed and just sad and lonely and I spend all my emotional dollars on other people bc I’ve convinced myself I’m#not worth it#there’s too much going on and so little of it j can control#vent post#delete later
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