#well. sorry for getting depressing on the timeline yet again

[rolandkaros]

i really want to promote my ao3 here but the prospect of linking my work to me in such a tangible way is horrifying

[ivvyela]

imagine with me, if you will, a nwh potential fix-it involving none other than the multiverse saving duo deadpool and wolverine.

i know, i know - but please, let me cook.

wade and logan now jump across timelines to "fix" things aka travel the multiverse for funsies and deal with the consequences later and somehow end up in a universe where peter parker doesn't exist, but spider-man does. and wade, blessed with the power of "i know this for the plot", immediately knows that is bull. shit. and sure enough, they find one very depressed, very lonely, and very jaded peter parker.

after much annoyance, light stalking, and following spider-man while he's on patrol, they get peter to spill how he ended up in this situation. and after hearing everything, logan breaks the silence with a simple, yet effective: "shit, kid. that... shit."

"yeah, well... now you know, so you can, like, leave me alone."

"nope, not gonna happen." wade shakes his head and tactfully ignores logan's imploring look of what-the-fuck-are-you-getting-us-into-now "i take my job as marvel jesus very, very seriously, so frankly, this is my job to fix your sorry little life, buddy. and if flat-out telling them you exist didn't work, then - "

"oh, i actually... i never told them."

"...come again?"

"i tried to tell them, but i couldn't. so..."

"i'm sorry... your best friend and girlfriend were crying, telling you to come find them and remind them of you, and you chose not to?"

"they're happy and safe without me! i wasn't going to ruin - "

"oh my god. you sweet, self sacrificial, idiot spider-baby. okay! we can fix this! we're no tony stark, but consider us your pseudo daddies for the time being, kid. let's get you your life back."

which is how one very emotional and determined deadpool, followed by a stoic, nonchalant wolverine (who, in all honesty, probably should be completely against this, but once wade commits to something, he can't be talked out of it, and the sooner he gets his fix from this the sooner he can go home, so fuck it we ball), end up in a certain cafe, all up in a poor barista and her friend's face with a cut-out yearbook photo of some kid, yelling "LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT THIS BOY! HE'S SO LONELY! LIKE A SMALL, FORLORN, VICTORIAN CHILD! REMEMBER HIM, GODDAMMIT!"

(their efforts result in two confused and scared teens, and getting kicked out of said cafe.)

peter practically begs them to just leave him alone, that this was his choice, and he's fine with it, but both wade and logan know a lie when they hear one. they both know what being alone can do to a person, and peter is just a kid who got dealt the shittiest cards in life and at this point, it just feels wrong to leave him here without trying to do something. and maybe they both have a small soft spot for the teen, so what?

and peter knows both men can see through his broody, teenage angst front he's been putting up since the spell, and he's tried so hard to hate the two of them, get them to hate him so they would leave, but they're not budging, so really, there's no point in trying to push them away, right?

and so, he lets them in. he learns that while logan is stoic and intense and kinda terrifying, he's also someone who just wants to do the right thing for the people he cares about. he's also lost people, and he blames himself, but he's come out on the other side. he would tell peter about his daughter, laura, who wouldn't let him wallow in self pity because she is good, better than he has ever been. he never saw himself as a father, but she's still around, so he must be doing alright.

and at first hearing it would result in a pang in his chest, memories of thai food after walking into a smoke-filled kitchen, assurances that things will work out when everything feels hopeless, a tombstone that can never convey everything she was, but now... it's nice to hear that logan still had someone after losing everyone.

so, peter listens to logan's stories. in return, peter tells logan all about his mom.

and wade was brash and loud and conceded and really, really annoying, but he's... no, that's it. he's all of those things, but in a weird way, it's like all those bad qualities merge together to make him a good guy. and yeah, he can walk away at any point, he has absolutely no obligation to help peter, but he does it anyway.

("nonono, don't you dare make me some selfless hero type, kid. i know for a fact that every deadpool has a peter. i'm doing this for the me in your world."

"you're... huh?"

"bottom line, i'm a selfish bastard. i'm doing this for me, 'kay?")

peter didn't fight it. he's had experience with seemingly self-absorbed, deflecting type heroes.

wade doesn't replace him, not even close, but... still.

maybe peter will never get back what he lost. but, for the first time, peter sees a light at the end of the tunnel. that, maybe, he can stop being just spider-man, and he can start being peter parker again, too.

(and if there's a barista talking to her friend about how it's weird that two guys would show up holding a photo of an odd customer from weeks ago, demanding they remember him, and despite not knowing him she felt something, and her friend couldn't help but agree, well... that's neither here nor there.)

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Logan adjusting to this new timeline, becoming sober, and Wade somehow finding Logan's dog tags. ~4k words.

(Tw: Logan's a depressed recovering alcoholic with survivor guilt, unofficial proposal, canon usual implied sex jokes, Logan tries to flirt but fails)

To my wife. Who's halo lit up my dark life to see just how many doors were available to me when I couldn't see them myself<3

He offers him his to wear as a cutesie matching necklace type of thing but Logan is hesitant to take them, scared of what will come of it. He does it anyway though because he sees how happy Wade is wearing his.

What he refuses to tell him though is that just hearing the tags jingle makes him jump, flinch, his heart rate rises, and his mind floods with scenes he's worked so hard draining every bar he could find dry just so he could forget.

For me, I, too, am a man with deeply rooted animal instincts and was raised to behave like an obedient pet instead of the animal they made me.

An animal trained to take orders. A soldier without his post is miserable and constantly is either trying to find it again or defend himself from ever having to go back to a post to begin with.

You aren't good enough for them if you obey what they say and excel past the standards. But you aren't good enough if you question their authority and make choices for yourself either. Hoizer comes to mind.

Running with the bulls

Working my miracles

Holding my world together with a boot string

His night terrors are worse, more frequent, constantly a battle between wanting to protect and defend the less fortunate to saying, 'No, I'm done with that. It's none of my business, It’s someone else's problem now.'

He wakes up screaming, claws drawn, every possible sense he has to run activated, panting, gasping almost for air. He's panting, heaving deep but quick breaths, all of the hairs on his arms raised like a cat who just heard a dog barking after having gotten attacked as a kitten.

Living the dream

Benzos and gasoline

Coffee and blue light screens till the morning

He wakes to the sunlight in his face, gets up, stretches, takes his Valium. Eats some toast, calls it breakfast, gets dressed for his weekly AA meeting. The moment he steps inside it smells like Gasoline. Sweet honey scented lies that he hates to admit that he knew all too well. ‘It was only one’ ‘I asked for a virgin one but they brought me the wrong one’ ‘I'm trying, I really am..it's just.. hard’ He's heard them all before but the last one he could relate to the most.

Coming home at night, Logan puts his face into the back of his partner's neck, hugging him from behind as he offers to watch a cowboy movie marathon with him. He barely eats, only taking what Wade gives him or shoves in his mouth like the now spilled popcorn that was all over the ground, His boyfriend sprawled out on the couch while the “Dvd” bounces back and forth on the blue screen.

Wade never likes it but recently he's been drinking coffee at night, pacing back and forth as he searched online for a job. Kept himself far from the nightmares that were trying to catch up with him.

If I tell you this is drowning

You tell me I'm walking on water

I could bring fire from the mountain

You tell me it feels a little colder

Everyone was telling him how good he was doing, how well he was adjusting, how happy they were that he was here and yet.. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Any of it. Not the second chance, not the love and support of all his new family, not the affection from the man who whispered how proud of him he was each night..

It doesn't help his mental status when multiple jobs reject him either. Interviews don't exactly go that well when you have claws for hands and a reputation for having a temper.

“I'm sorry we're looking for someone with more… experience.. in this field. You need an entry level job.”

“Woah dude! You are WAY too qualified to be working here! you should try looking for something higher up, yeah?”

“I'm sorry. You're too much of a liability.”

“Oh my god- You're the Wolverine!”

“Yes.. but uhm.. No.. I'm just Logan now.”

“Wait, why are you applying here? This is a cashier position.”

“I'm aware..”

“Aren't you like… an X-men?”

“N-no… not anymore.”

“Oh… Did they fire you?”

“I quit.”

“Why?”

“Are.. these questions part of the interview?”

What kind of man was he if he couldn't even get a damn job at McDonald's? It felt useless. Like everybody wanted something different from him, but no one was happy either way. Never pleased with his resume or his reputation. You would think being an ex X-man would make it easy. Of course someone would want to hire a superhero? Right? Wrong.

I don't wanna

Choose between being a salesman or a soldier

Just let me look a little older

It seemed everyone wanted him to rejoin the X-men and as much as he missed that mansion upstate, it wasn't his. So many times he's been told stories about himself that he didn't even remember …well.. because it wasn't him. They wanted The Wolverine.

Their Wolverine.

Not Logan.

There was always that spot at the dealership with Peter. Now that Wade was back on his role with mercenary stuff and doing more “Favors” with Colossus, Negasonic and Yukio, that position was open. Part of him- No. Scratch that. All of him was happy for Wade. He seemed to be enjoying life so much more now that he felt he had purpose. But what was his purpose? Selling cars?? Definitely not. Even if it was, they were looking for something else anyway.

“It says here that you are 286 years old. Is that a typo?”

“Oh- uhm… No..”

“I see…Well we are currently looking for someone… younger.. to fill that spot. Sorry.”

But they were never actually sorry. He could smell it.

Coming home from the failed hunt, he felt like an older lion losing its pride to a younger male lion. Well- if lions could develop arthritis in their knees and hands. Once a day he'd pop out his claws, just to keep them ready though he felt like he hadn't used them in such a long time… Maybe he really was turning into an old house cat like wade said.

Sitting in their shared bedroom, he was grumbling to himself, grunting as he tried to get his claw unstuck. This wasn't the first time they locked up and he feared it wasn't the last either.

He snapped his head up at the sound of tags. Around the corner came who he expected, Wade, quickly hiding his hand under the blanket. Coming in, his eyes widened.

“Woah wolvie! Without me? Really? I would have gladly done it for you.”

At first Logan wanted to thank him for offering to help before quickly realizing that from how his hand was under the blanket, it did look suspiciously like adult alone time.

“T-that's not… no.”

“M'kaay. If you say sooo~”

“H-how uhm.. How was work?”

Watching as he began to grab shower clothes and take off his mask, He smiled.

“Oh you know! Watching the life drain from peoples eyes and what not as they beg for their life! The usual.”

“Oh.. that's.. fun?”

“Extremely liberating stuff.”

Watching as he began to strip, He swallowed, wishing he'd leave already so he could finish shoving the claw back into his skin.

Let me step a little bolder

I don't wanna

Choose between being a butcher or a pauper

“You wanna take a shower with me?” He asked, Beginning to walk around butt naked in nothing but his tags.

“U-uhm… No. No thanks, I had one this morning.”

“D'awwww what? Worried i'll see your peanuts? News flash baby, I've had those things down my throat! And I will say. They're better salty anyways~”

All this teasing changed his monotone face into a small goofy smile as he came close, crawling up into his lap, taking hold of his cheeks as he kissed his nose.

“What's wrong? Did you not get the job?”

He was so envious of how he could say such dirty things. Wade was so confident and yet so shy about his face. It made him think of when he was that confident in himself too. (Probably overly confident if we're being honest) Oh that was so many years ago… he'd never get that back. And honestly? He wasn't sure if he wanted to.

Logan said nothing but it was all the answer wade needed.

“I see. Well you'll get’em next time, Right?”

He looked away. Ashamed. Here Wade was, being overly supportive, giving him everything, and still he couldn't find a single happy bone in his body.

Shifting his leg to reassure him more, His knee was placed on the claw, yipping. “Ouch!”

“Sorry! I… I can't.. i-it won't..”

And on top of all that, he just hurt him. Man he sucked at this. All of it. Every little bit of it.

Pulling his hand away, Logan's eyes looked over Wade just as quick as it happened, Trying to see if he was bleeding only to jolt.

“Hey- shh.. Calm down. You're alright.” Grabbing his wrist, he carefully moved the tags that had gotten stuck on the claw.

“What's got you all riled up, Kitty? The interview couldn't have been that bad.”

But what he didn't know is that it WAS that bad.

Instantly Logan broke down, breaking heavily as he began to sob, gritting his teeth as he put his non-stuck hand on his face, wanting to hide. He felt pathetic. Useless. Weak. All of the things he fought not to be.

“Ooh, Honey come her-” Wade reached a hand out, trying to console him only to be shoved away.

“Don't!! I-.. I'm tired of hurting people! That's not who I want to be!”

“Baby cakes, it was an accident-”

“No!! Eveyone wants the Wolverine until the fucking wolverine is actually acting like the Wolverine!” He shouted, trying not to choke on his own tears.

Tilting his head, Wade blinked as if he wasn't aware of what he was talking about, but why would he? Logan hasn't told him anything negative for the past 2 weeks. Keeping it all bottled up, trying to push it deep down but that wasn't him. He couldn't handle it anymore.

“Everyone just keeps saying I should join the X-men again and i-” Wilson put his hands on his shoulders, looking at him with the most serious he has ever been in his entire life.

“Logan, If that's what you want we'll make it work. It's only an hour drive, and i'm sure I could visi-”

“Wade!! Shut. Up! I don't…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he began to apologize, whispering he was sorry for yelling at him.

“I-it's not your fault.. I.. I don't..”

Wade was patient, Nodding, encouraging him to open up with his words. He knew when it was time to zip it and let him talk. Now was one of those times. It was his turn to listen.

“I don't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to fight to begin with but… It's the only thing I'm good at. I'm not good at anything else.. My whole life I've just been jumping team after team and they all eventually die or I just get kicked out for not understanding the power of team work or whatever. Hell, I've been through three different wars and every single time I ran away! Like a damn dog with its tail between its legs! All except the times I was TOLD to run and I didn't. Fuck, Wade! 3 fucking wars and I can't even take orders right!!”

Honey, I'm taking no orders

Gonna be nobody’s soldier

It was now Wade's turn to try to stifle a laugh, snorting as he covered his mouth.

“What's so fucking funny?! That your boyfriend is a sad pathetic loser who can't even get his hands to listen to him!?”

Now he burst out laughing, starting to giggle.

“You're over here talking about not being able to take orders and not being good enough for a team while talking to the same guy who can't even GET on a team and was kicked out of Canadian special forces because I didn't listen to a single thing they said! And you think I care if you ‘can't take orders’ ??” He said this last part in a mocking tone, trying hard to be serious but couldn't.

Logan's eyebrows scrunched with a skeptical glare, tears still dripping down his face, feeling embarrassed and stupid.

Cupping his face again, Wade smiled ear to ear, their foreheads together. “You're much dumber than the comics make you out to be if you think I'd care about anything like that. You honestly think I'd care if you don't want to be anyone's soldier? Why do you think I'm my own boss? The world isn't built for guys like us, baby. And if you wanna open a coffee shop or- pursue your dreams of photography, or hell! Even bird watching for all I care, I will still love you. We will make it work. No matter what you choose to do. Even if you don't get a job at all. Do you understand?”

The man started into his eyes, seemingly frozen as he processed all that he said.

“Logan..”

“Hm?”

“You gotta nod hon, we've talked about this.”

Slowly nodding, indicating that he understood, the tears got thicker as he pulled himself into Wade's shoulder, sobbing more.

“Oooh There there… There's my big strong man..” Wrapping his arms around him, he was careful of the single knife still out. Sitting him up, he rubbed the side of his face as he kissed the other cheek, only to gasp.

“GAASSSPP!! Peanut!”

“What!?” His grip tightened around his waist as he looked around urgently, immediately sniffling and starting to wipe his eyes.

“You're getting greys!” He coed, reaching up to pluck a single gray hair from the beast, who flinched. “Ouch..”

Leaning back, Wade held the hair in front of his face, His smile still wider than ever.

“You're turning into A silver fox, wolvie!”

“W-what?”

“Ooh I bet you're gonna be so handsome! Eehh!” Hugging him again, tight around his neck.

Blushing, He wasn't sure what had just happened. How him venting and crying out of the rage he felt to Wade fangirling over one of his single hairs.. though.. I guess it made sense for your bald boyfriend to monitor yours. Wade has even made him start using a fancy shampoo that made his hair a lot softer, curlier, and Less greasy.

“.. you..You're excited that i'm getting old..??”

“Duh! I've always wanted to be a hot silver daddy's sugar baby!”

“What does that even mean?”

“Don't worry about it- Oh hey look! Your claw went back in.”

Looking at his hand, he made a fist and opened it a couple of times, blinking, oblivious. “...How did you do that?”

But what he didn't realize is that the stress was flowing out of him, and the relief that Wade seemed to be obsessed with him no matter what had calmed him down enough for it to slide back in itself.

“I didn't do anything, sweetheart. You opened up. Let it out. All that stress isn't good for you, you know. How do you think I ended up looking like this?” He joked, giggling.

For some reason, He laughed too, finding this a bit funny.

“Do you feel better? Hm?”

“Nngh..”

“I'll take that as a yes.” The naked man whispers, kissing him with his arms lazily on his shoulders, glad that he was able to cry in front of him. Twas a very manly thing to do and there was no one more manly than the Wolverine himself.

“Alright. I'm gonna go shower. I stink worse than you do after being out in the rain.” You know, wet dog and all. Pulling away, there was a clang and a tug at both of their necks, the tags becoming stuck together, making wade smirk more. “I think these tags don't want me to go.”

Quickly frowning, Logan swallowed, moving to take his off, pulling up his hand as he held it, putting the tag inside of it, closing his fingers.

“Wha..I-... what are you doing?”

“Wade.. I..” He sighs, looking away with a nervous pout, Grunting a bit from frustration. Why did words have to be so difficult?

“Are you breaking up with me?!”

“What!? No! I-.. I don't..”

See what Logan didn't know was that Wade had viewed these as promise rings, the equivalent of engagement even but he was okay with never actually getting married. As long as he got to wear the dress in his closet and dance with him he wouldn't mind if it was legal or not. He understood fully that not everyone wanted to marry the stage 4 cancer patient whose skin looked like turkey bacon that was somehow raw and burnt at the same time.

“You don't what? Do you.. want something else? We can get rings! Do you want rings?” shifting to sit closer to him, Wade was obviously becoming upset about this, untangling the tags and looking at him with those big brown puppy eyes.

“Rings…?”

He could see the gears in his head trying their best to turn as he thought what he meant.

“How would we make them into rings?” He finally asks and to Wade, this was basically a proposal.

Sitting up more he began clapping excitedly the same way he did when seeing puppins again about 8 months ago. “Eeh!! Yes!!”

His head turns, Giggling. “I would've taken it in front of the subway like Sanda Bullock but this works too!”

Logan, like a dumb ass, looked too, knowing full well he wouldn't see anyone but still always looked anyway. “Who??”

“Oh I'll show you later! What size are you?”

“In rings?”

“No, your cock, Of course in rings!”

“Hey now- I never agreed to a cock ring, Wade. No.”

The serious tone and the way he pointed his finger at him made him laugh more, taking his hand as he kissed it. “We'll figure it out. Okay so after my shower, I'll call a guy I know. I think Forge would do a much better job but I feel like he'd say no.” He began rambling about how cute they would be and how excited he was, climbing off of his lap (finally) and started to walk off.

“W-wade!” He called, swallowing again, nervous to ask him to listen.

“What? You wanna come shower?”

“No- well.. maybe but..”

Again he waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying his best to be patient but it was hard not talking for 0.5 seconds.

“It's not that.. I don't like them. It's just.. I got those a long long time ago.. and I don't want to be the man those belonged to. Not anymore. And it's not that I don't think about rejoining all the time, it's just.. I want to live my life the way I want too. Charles always said that at the end, we'd get to live how we deserve. That's my time. My time is now. I want to sit on a porch somewhere out west and watch the horses graze. I wanna sit around doing nothing with Puppins in my arms. I want… I want to be with.. with you.”

He admitted, and for once Wade was the one speechless.

“I don't want you to visit. I want to live with you. But not here. I want to go somewhere quieter. Somewhere I can just be.. Logan..”

Putting a hand on his chest as he explained, he didn't see his smile move, not a smidge, watching as he bit his lip and covered his mouth trying to stay quiet until he was done.

“Of course I still want to help people though! Protect them from other worse people… I'm just tired of being someone's toy soldier all the time. I want to do what I think is right but.. also have time to listen to you sing when cooking and take Puppins to the dog park. I want to protect..Us.” Yeah. That felt right. Us. Both of them, all of them. Together. His family.

“B-besides.. If I became an X-men again I don't think I could do it. I could barely sleep back then thinking about all the screams.. the people I couldn't help. I don't think I would be able to get over the fact that I can't save everyone… But I definitely want to try to at least save a few people. Take care of them… all of them. Even if they don't think they need help.” He smiled a bit, taking a huge breath as the stress was relieved from his shoulders.

“Alright you can talk now because I'm never doing that ever again, that was super embarrassing.” He muttered, flushed as he looked down at his lap.

The second he gave him permission to speak, Wade screamed, a scream that made Logan's eyes widen and look at him with a slow blink. “....what was tha-”

Immediately he was pulled up from the bed, picked up and squeezed tightly as he jumped around. Grunting some, he held on tight, feeling a little nauseous. Sometimes it was easy to forget how strong he was.

Still screaming, Wade was extremely excited about all that was just said, Logan admitting that he wanted a serious future with him was a lot better news than he could have ever wished for.

“Put me down!... Wade!... I'm gonna throw up!” He said, whining that he was given uppies non consensually. Even he couldn't help but laugh though in response to his giggles. God that laugh was so annoying and yet his world would feel pointless without it.

Putting him down, Wilson grabs his cheeks, petting his beard. “Ooh Logan.. I don't need protection.. because I can't get pregnant. But if I ever find out that I can, I'll definitely hire you.” He jokes, causing more blushes as his hand comes up to Wades, nuzzling into it for a moment.

“You know what I mean…”

“I do. And while I won't stop you, how about you be your own soldier for a bit? Tell yourself how to live. Not anyone else. And i'll be behind you, wearing a shirt with your ugly mug on it, supporting you the whole way. Got it?”

“Aye! I'm not ugly!”

“No you are not! I've barely been home for 20 minutes and am already so wet. I haven't even taken a shower yet “ he mumbles casually as he begins walking away.

“Heh.. Hey…erm Wade?”

“Yes, love?” Just about to leave the room, he turns, smiling gently at how talkative his fiancé was.

Logan blushes more. “I uhm.. If I'm nobody's soldier… can your name be nobody?”

Wade looks confused at first, now it's his turn to figure out what he was saying.

“Cause.. if your name is nobody then i'd be.. nevermind.” Waving A hand, he glanced at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pocket having just fumbled that line completely.

Within seconds, Wade was back in that room, giving him the sloppiest, deepest kiss that was available, kissing him all over.

“Oh Logie! You're so sweet! But leave the flirting to me, mkay? I don't need you throwing your back out trying too hard.” He pats his chest, grabbing his hand as Wade drug him by the wrist.

They both laugh as they enter the bathroom, closing the door with a click.

[envy-of-the-apple]

That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

[dairy-farmer]

Was thinking of how to Neat and satisfying "Pathetic and Needy Fuck" Bruce? And?

:Dc I may be a Genius? >:Dc

☆~Time Travel~☆

Specifically? Tim.

See, things continue to degrade. Like in most comics. Bruce gets meaner, more unhinged, more paranoid. Alienates his family, one after another, with his bullshit. Tim holding on because he started by trying to fix this Fuck Up and he's GOING to finish the job.

Only?

It gets to a point where he's realized the are in a Bad Timeline. Good people disappearing or dropping like flies, and the Justice Lords(evil Justice League) just a breathe away from happening.

He realizes? He COULD have fixed this. Yeah. Bruce WAS fixable. But TIM was too young and inexperienced to be able to truely help, during the time period when it would have made a difference. It's too late now.

Well, shit.

So he steals a Time Travel device, one way, from the Watchtower and goes to ground. Predictably, without him? It all finally goes to shit. But he really was only delaying the inevitable.

He studies what he needs to do.

Figures out how to Handle Bruce(tm). And? Realizes? That Bruce was always the most stable and reasonable... when "in a relationship". But... Tim ALSO knows EXACTLY how each of those relationships ENDED.

In trainwrecks. That left Bruce WORSE then before.

He needs somebody that... won't...

Huh.

He considers the logistics. After all, he's not above taking one for the team.

Bruce needs SOMEONE to obsess over. Get his "companionship needs" from. Take on excessively researched dates and buy bizarrely specific gifts for. And it can't be someone who contradicts The Mission, like Talia or Selina. Harvey or Ghost Maker.

He can do that.

So, acting before the now corrupted Justice whatever-they-call-themselves find him, he picks up the device and uses it. Time to erase this time line. Sorry, everyone.

Aaaaaand.....

He is short, perky, and freshly Robin again.

And Bruce is a messy bitch. A depressed, depressed, messy bitch. Mean and lashing out, too. But hilariously soft compared to how cruel he GETS. Tim starts with bringing him coffee. Snacks, healthy of course. Information for the cases he's working on.

Oh, isn't he HELPFUL? Can you teach him how to massage and stretch muscles? To keep his body in peek health, of course. Robin has to be flexible, like Dick. Say, can you review his technique? He's learned how to massage a bit. Just your hand. Then maybe your arm. WOW your shoulders are tense!

Little by little. Unnoticed because Bruce doesn't want a Robin, tries to ignore him. Misses things because he does, as Tim buries himself deeper into Bruce's life. Weather getting warmer! Shorts and thigh highs, since the cave can be cold. Mid drifts for work out. Pants just a bit too big, so they slip low.

Having long since used his parents name and card to by stretching toys. Plugs and dildos, that he diligently works into himself, starting from barely anything to something almost as thick as Bruce, over weeks. Every night now, making sure to keep himself just loose enough to take it. To feel good.

The tedious work he goes through for this man, he swears. At least THIS feels good. Full.

He has full memory of cases that haven't even happened yet. Makes SURE to be there, conveniently stretched, for the bust of the "unknown drug" ring that turns out to be knock-off Pollen. Oh noooo! Bruce, that thug threw a bag at him! He's covered in powder!

He definitely doesn't smile, as Bruce discovers first hand, that though less effective? Whatever they changed, also means the Bat counter-agent is rendered useless.

Oh how distressing! He is virginal and distressed, Bruce! His bits are all wet and feeling WEIRD~! He informs his quickly starting to panic Mentor.

Bruce drags him through a shower, stripping their contaminated uniforms. Is shaking. Hard. And Tim? COULD be nice. He truely could. Could ignore the uncontrollable and let Bruce keep his safe little bubble. His distance.

But he's seen where THAT leads, so that won't be happening.

He begins to "helplessly" rub at his clit. Rock his hips against his hand like he has no idea what to do with himself. Lean against Bruce's side like his legs are weak. Whimper and pant. Oh no, Bruce, what ever will you do? Look how distressed he is~!

Bruce folds almost immediately. Sliding to his knees. Dragging him into a needy, consuming kiss. Thick, calloused fingers are rubbing him. Sliding in to eagerly fuck his little hole. Guided down under the streams of water to Bruce's lap. To be dragged down onto his desperate cock. Fucked on the showers floor.

It's hard to breathe, with the water spraying down, dripping into his face. But Bruce is finally pounding into him. Grunting and moaning as he batters Tim insides. Tim desperately teasing his own clit.

He doesn't even ask, slamming deep and folding forward like he's collapsing into Tim. Chanting his name in needy little gasp. Hips twitching as he pumps his load deep into Tim's body. Tim didn't even get to get off. He keeps rubbing til he dies.

It changes EVERYTHING.

Tim knew it would.

Bruce can never be normal about fucking someone. Now, his hands linger. He pays attention. Pulls Tim into his lap. Stares and pants after him. Desperate for another go. For more.

Tim can use it as rewards. Does.

Talk to your coworkers, you get to hit it. Actually mentor me, get to finger me tonight. Want to go down on me, you thirsty bastard? Use your big boy words. Want to bend me over and rail me? Finish the reports on your desk. So on and so on.

He can sit on Bruce's face for hours and let him lick and suck Tim sloppy. Ride him in his office chair. Keep his cock warm all day. But Bruce has to EARN it. And dear lord will he move mountain to do what it takes. Lick Tim's boots, take his abuse, be USED by him if that's what he wants. Just fuck him.

Good thing Tim's here to fix this mess. Even if that means spending Saturdays with his legs thrown over Bruce's shoulders, letting him eat him out as a reward. Ehh, he can be trained. Tim has time. And if it all goes to shit? He can do it again.

Now be good, Bruce, and fuck him harder.

-🐼🐼🐼

bruce being unable to be normal over someone he's fucked is sooo good ❤️❤️❤️ and tim using that as bartering tool to get bruce to behave 😍😍😍!!!

[roberrtphilip]

do you have any headcanons for what happened to giselle’s store now that she doesn’t have it?

I do !! but you're gonna have to listen to me ramble about canon a bit first, because I'm the number one Disenchanted defender 💖

There's actually nothing in the movie or novel that states Giselle lost her studio, and it lowkey (highkey) confuses me when people say she did. The movie fails to directly mention Andalasia Fashions, sure, but that doesn't automatically mean she lost/sold it ? And in the junior novel, Giselle tells Malvina she plans on opening a new studio in Monroeville (which she eventually does). So, the idea that Giselle gave up her job/stopped working and is nothing more than a stay at home wife/mother simply isn't true. But also, I think it's a bit silly that people are so mad at the possibility she might be a stay at home wife/mother. like why is that so offensive ?? She owned her dress business for ten years, and worked regularly, maybe she just wants a break?

I think a lot of people also forget, or simply missed the line about Sofia's age, but she's only a year old. She needs her mama, and Giselle doesn't have to go back to work yet if she doesn't want to. And Robert definitely makes enough to provide for their family on his own, so she doesn't really need to go back either. It's possible Giselle simply wanted to be home with her baby, and took a longer maternity leave because she could. And I don't really see why that's an issue.

Also, I never see anyone bring up the fact that Giselle is definitely dealing with postpartum depression ?? Like, she's so obviously depressed in the sequel, and you can't convince me that's not at least partially linked to the fact that she recently gave birth. It's possible she just wasn't in the right headspace to return to work yet.

Now, I do wish the movie had kept the line about her new studio in, for sure, and I don't get why it was cut, but at the end of the day, they never once mention Giselle closing it down, or losing it, or selling it, or giving up work completely. In fact, during the opening narration, Giselle is shown sleeping with fabric and sketchbooks around her. So, she could've been working from home, too.

It's also worth mentioning that in the jr. novel, Giselle is shown working in her studio, but she was overworking herself/not finishing until well after midnight, so again, my girl was simply exhausted, and needed a break 🤧

Okay, whew, sorry. Now that that's over, let's dive into my headcanons 🫡

Personally, I headcanon that her pregnancy was pretty hard on her. She was overjoyed, of course, and excited to have her baby, but it was still an exhausting, and overall not very fun pregnancy. I also hc that she ended up needing an emergency C-section, and all of this really took a toll on her mental health. This made the choice to return to work pretty difficult, and Giselle ended up taking a longer maternity leave.

I do think that she tried going back. Giselle tried to do a few days here and there, for a just a few hours, but it wasn't ever easy. Her head (and heart) just wasn't in it, and she eventually goes back on leave.

Then they move to Monroeville. Personally, I think Giselle kept Andalasia Fashions open, because I don't see why she'd close it (and canon never said she did). I think she still owns the business, and left May (Nancy's assistant from the first movie) in charge. I headcanon she and Giselle became really close once they started working together, and May had no issues taking over.

As I mentioned above, Giselle tells Malvina she plans on opening a new studio.

There's no timeline mentioned for when she opens it, but it's mentioned that she eventually opens it right next to Robert's law firm.

As much as I love the movie's ending, I think this ending is really sweet, and I would've love to see it. But I definitely consider it canon, and I have a small fic here (x) where she and Robert discuss opening their places side by side if you want to read 😋

So yeah. I think she's still the owner of Andalasia Fashions, and she definitely stops by, she's not ignoring it, but she regularly works in her new studio, A Fairy-Tale Life.

In short, yes, Giselle stopped working, but that's because she just had a baby, and she was battling with depression. I think she's far too restless to stay away from work forever, but I also don't think she's the kind of person who wants to leave her kids with anyone that isn't family or a close friend. like, she isn't against daycare, of course, but I think Giselle would hate having to leave her baby at a center when she's able to be home herself. and Robert is a pretty successful lawyer. have you seen their apartment ? the director of the first movie said he and Patrick would often joke that he must be a millionaire if he lives in that building/that area. and I don't think Robert is that rich, of course, but I definitely think they're wealthy enough that Giselle can stay home if she wants.

so. yeah.

[ganondoodle]

feeling much better now having gotten some sleep (the dont trust how you feel about yourself past 9pm is good advice no joke)

of course all my criticism of totk still applies but im feeling less depressed about it, tho i will say its honestly kinda baffling how many times the game actually got me interested and excited about stuff and then just kinda drops it in a dead end, of course they were those kind of things in botw as well but it seems much less .. balanced in totk

(not even just the big things like making me want to actively do something to help zelda turn back when it just gets solved on its own in the end, but also some lil things like the fact that so many NPCs tell you about that newly discovered animal species and when you find the dongos they are just gem vending maschines)

in the end i can say, no, i dont like totk, tho i still love the graphics and the way the world is made ( botw showed me jsut how immersive and alive a world can feel i love it to death), i liked the gameplay and that it kept the freedom botw had established, the bossfights are mostly fun (tho i wish you could refight more of them), i LOVE the yiga and im glad they got more of a spotlight, the music is FANTASTIC i keep catching myself humming along, alot of the sidequests are much bigger and feel like you are actually doing something, i like how the sages are a bit more integrated into the story, the majority of the new designs are great, both the japanese and german voice acting is great, and the end fight has some of the best build up i have ever experienced, my heart starts to race when that music build up starts even tho i have beaten it 3 times already-

however, the story is both simple and incredible flat with lots of stuff that doesnt make sense especially when it was said to be a sequel, the zonau should have stayed a mystery imo, they failed to make me care about them even a little bit and often felt forcefully crammed into the world and its history, i think you could have told an incredible story taking place in the present and leave the past be the past, you easily could have connected botw and totk in a much better way than they did, i dont like how it changes aspects about botw all the while nigh ignoring it ever happened, it still feels like it was trying to be a replacement and not a sequel and all the referencing and callbacks to the old titles may have been done in good faith but that and including time travel yet again ultimately lead to people ripping each other to shreds over trying to prove its placed in the old timeline despite it making no sense at all and confusing people even more; often when the game made me care or be excited about something it was dropped in a dead end, there was a ton of missed opportunities and lost potential to tell a much more nuanced and interesting story/lore, and thinking about it only makes me sad for the things that could have been

overall i think my disappointment is outweighing my fun and the only way i can keep playing it while having fun is ignoring everything that isnt, which works quite well most of the time since im pretty much done with all story stuff but i keep slipping into my little rants nonetheless; i will say its making me a little worried about the future of the franchise, but i know im in the minority and maybe i will just have to accept that the new stuff wont be for me anymore and i should not hope for anything that interests me xD

except for some meme material or specific characters i love i dont think i will make much use of anything totk tried to establish, and i hope thats fine with the lot of you (<3) hopefully that also means my ranting days are over xD

anyway, back to making niche art i go! (sorry for making you endure these long ass rambling posts :,) )

[here2bbtstrash]

alright besties~*~ i feel i owe you an update so let's strap in, shall we?

TLDR: the final chapter of LDOMLT is not gonna be ready by 1/31. i don't know when it will be done, but i do know that i want to take my time with it and not force it. this means you're going to see me post other writing before i post chapter 11. if that makes you sad, i'm sorry (and also: me too lol). LDOMLT is not dead, it's not cancelled, it's not even on hiatus. i just can't say when the last chapter will be posted right now. once i feel like i can commit to a date, i will shout it from the damn rooftops lmao. but right now, i need to switch gears.

i hope you can understand or at the very least respect this choice, and please know that i love you all so so much. i just wanna give you the best ending possible, and as it turns out, that shit takes time!

longer version under the cut 💜

siiiiiiigh. i didn't want to have to make this post 😭 but y'all, i am really, really blocked. i kept telling myself that i would figure it out, magically get unblocked (it's happened before!) and be able to meet my 1/31 date (or if not 1/31, then at least 2/5...... hello grammys 👀). but right now neither date seems like a possibility, if i'm honest with myself. in part because i've got a whole stew of personal life shit going on as well! (some of it not so good, and some of it ..... very good lol 😏)

and the way i've been spinning my wheels over this is starting to feel unproductive and honestly, not great for my mental health (i **cried** last night because i was so frustrated that i couldn't make words happen. we'll blame that one on my period but 😩 omg! tears!!!)

so... what do i do? well, i actually feel like playing that ask game the other day made me realize: i need to write other things right now. amazing how the moment i put down this chapter 11 draft, ideas and words just flew out of my brain so easily!! and i have all these other wips i'm dying to get to, but i kept telling myself "not until we finish chapter 11", and i think that's gotten me into a bit of a mental bind 😞

so, as previously hinted at in past posts - i am gonna move forward with ~*~jihope month~*~ in february and allow myself to work on other things 💜 i'll make a separate announcement for that soon, but i'm very excited to dedicate a whole month to writing and reading about my two best boys 😩 and i'll be taking drabble requests too, which i think is gonna help me find my footing again creatively ✨

i know it might be disappointing to see me post writing that isn't LDOMLT chapter 11, so let me preemptively say: i get it 😞 and i'm sorry 😞 and i really really REALLY 👹 also wanted this chapter to be out before february. but the muse has other plans! and i just have to make peace with that even if i hate it lmao. i hope you all can understand where i'm coming from, and if you can't understand it, i hope you can at the very least respect it 💜

to be clear: i'm not gonna stop work on this chapter, but i'm also not gonna force it. if i manage to unblock and get it finished in february, i'll post it in february! (sorry to jimin and hobi lmao) but i don't want to try and hold myself to yet another date only to watch it zoom by with my chapter still unfinished, because that shit is depressing lmao. so right now, i cannot give you any kind of timeline on when ch11 will come. only that it will, and that i'm never ever gonna give up!! 💪

i also hope you can understand that i won't be answering asks about when chapter 11 is coming, and imma be swift with the block button if anyone tries to guilt me about this decision 💜 because i love y'all endlessly, but let us not forget that i do this shit for free, on top of a full-time job and the rest of my life (and now also on top of getting laid irl 🎉)

however, i have no doubt that 99.9% of y'all are going to be nothing but kind and supportive about this 🥺🥺🥺 i've already gotten so many lovely asks and comments and messages (not all of which i've replied to 💀) and i will never find the proper words to tell you how much i appreciate them. when you tell me to take my time and not stress, that you'll wait as long as it takes, that you want me to rest and take care of myself. it means so much and idk what i did to deserve such wonderful people and friends reading my work - all i can say is thank you thank you thank you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

so yeah 😩 not the announcement i wanted to make, but it's the one i have to make right now. writing is so hard sometimes 😭 but i am determined to give this series an ending that i'm proud of and satisfied with! it just needs a little more time to get there. 💜

[linc-karo-27]

I've read many people's speculation that hawk will betray tim by outing him deliberately, but if he did, would tim bw able to join the military? bc there are photos of him in the uniform, and synopsis for ep 5 I think implies he makes a life changing decision. I haven't read the book, but I don't mind any spoilers.

Hey Anon! (first one to this account since I rejoined tumblr back in 2021) - right this is where we need to consult the book (and spoilers for Ep1 and 2). SPOILER FOR THE SHOWTIME DESCRIPTIONS/TRAILER.

Sorry this is kinda long but its like the last half of the book. Its messy.

TLDR; According to Showtime we have to wait for it (if it happens) until the last episode.

In the book, a lot of the 1950s happen in a different order. Mary is Hawks Faux GF for longer and Tim running off to the army happens around the time Lucy comes into the picture (there four "sections" in the book, and we have the army life in section 3/4).

The show has already played around with the timeline a bit with a major event of the book that has not happened yet: The Lie Detector Test. This happens about 2-3 months into T&H's relationship. By the looks of it its in episode 4 (and now it could be the reason Tim enlists. If he is not around, he can't get them caught). Then the roadtrip; then Lucy comes along; then Tim enlists; the last few months of him and Hawk; Tim leaves.

right: this is a summary of the book events re: army and onwards to the end of the book.

The night Tim Enlists its after a fight with Hawk over some petty thing (his birthday). This is after someone (whose not present in the show but actions have been merged basically into Hawk and Marcus) phones Tim to snitch on McCarthy and winds Tim up to the point he basically is a mess. When he's in the army Hawk courts Lucy; marries her and gets her pregnant. So when he returns its near the end of Lucy's pregnancy (two years later). He goes to Paris in this time as well (Hawk messes with his enlistment to get him away from any fighting).

During the time he is still in the US he sees Mary a fair bit (and her dad) and she is the one who tells him about Hawk and the wedding, which upsets him so much it basically makes him start to starve himself ("fasting for 36 hours") and into full religious zealotry. Basically most of the time in the army he's kinda depressed imo. Its not a very nice part of the book and i hope the showrunners edited it to make him less.... idk unhappy?

When he returns in 1957 (he leaves in 1955) hawk has found them a secret house (owned by Mary's ex, a brewer called Paul but that isn't important) which is abandoned and falling apart. They move their meet ups to this house and Tim falls basically into worshipping Hawk. At the same time, a job helping the refugees fleeing the Hungarian Revolution comes up and Hawk gets him the job (its basically something he becomes fixated on in the army) and the eve of them about to give it to Tim (and his kid born) Hawk imagines Tim's life post this when Tim mentions he will finally have the money to own his own house (he is living in another character's loft and that character has basically become more fleshed out as Marcus in the show) so after Hawk leaves him for the night he goes to the M Unit and tells them Tim has "security considerations". Tim looses the job (but isnt investigated) and he flees DC; and never sees Hawk again (there's more to the ending told via Mary in the epilogue that is basically Tim has a breakdown and is sent to a place that is basically a mental hospital by his sister and just moves on with his life.

this paragraph from the book summaries this easily (Hawk's reason for dibbing him in)

IN THE SHOW

So Showtime is hinting that Episode 5 ends on Tim being in the army but Episode 6 opens in 1968. So in the show its likely 4 Tim enlists; 5 is his time in the army (so not much of him maybe on screen, but the other 2 stories play out) , ending on him going back to DC OR 5 he enlists and it ends on that. We then have the 1960s and 1970s episodes, with Showtime telling us Episode 8 is 1957 and 1986 (like how the others have gone but a timeskip in the 1950s maybe)

Episode 8 (ignoring the 1986 stuff because rn I have no idea how we are doing that last episode stuff) is the messing with Hawk in the abandon house, but Hawk dibs him in over something (basically close to the book), he leaves and the 1950s end on that.

So yeah......... Hawk being a dick in the 1950s is likely saved until the last episode. Added with the "life changing" of the 1980s (which imo is Tim wanting him and Marcus/Frankie to not be present for those last days and tells Hawk to give him up because he isn't the best person). It would also make sense why every review seems to say ep6 feels weird - its been set up to mirror the 1980s: there is something we the audience don't know that is making everything awkward.

[mirrorthoughts]

you asked for this, so here's my time travel Steter brain vomit:

I have like one and a half pages written for a time travel fic where Stiles sends his memories back (in the most nuclear way possible of course, killing the people who killed his pack) to right after the garage scene in S1 but unfortunately too late to stop Peter from leaving to kill Kate. So now Teenage Stiles has the jumbled memories of twenty-something Stiles but neither the skill nor the wisdom, which is… unfortunate. (Also memories are a fickle thing, especially for an ADHD brain.) Shenanigans happen, Stiles forces Peter to buy a jacket his future self used to steal, something something. (That's actually all I have so far and it's not getting more because my brain already moved on to another idea.)

In your fic you implied that Peter traveled back in time but he clearly remembers less than Stiles, so I immediately was like 👀👀👀 "oohh what happened after the point that Peter remembers? Are he and Stiles closer than he thinks? also: omg STiles what did you DO"

I also have many general thoughts about time traveling fics: like when Stiles travels back does the original time line continue and by changing the past he creates a parallel universe? What does this mean for the people in the original timeline? For them it's like Stiles died. How would Peter react to that (if he's still alive and did not travel back with Stiles)? Does Stiles know? How would he cope with "abandoning" the OG Timeline Peter? Would he try to get back or drag Peter into the past as well?

Then there's the question of does his mind just travel into his younger body or does his whole body travel back? If it's the latter: How does the universe handle two Stiles? Would it erase younger Stiles' existence? What would be the consequences for the Stilinskis and for Scott?

Next question: To which point in time does Stiles travel back? Pre Hale fire? Pre Laura's death? Pre Scott getting bitten? Pre Peter getting killed a second time? Pre …? So many possibilities and consequences AAH I love time travel fics!!!

I also have an idea for a reverse time travel fic, where Peter gets a glimpse of the future while he's still in college. I haven't decided yet if this vision allows him to change the future or if it's more a "sorry, life's gonna kick you in the nuts repeatedly but there's a hot magical boyfriend waiting for you, so yay?" (fun fact: a Garashir fic was the inspiration for this)

ok I think I'm done. (...FOR NOW)

Yay!!! I love reading other peoples brain vomit :D

There are so many fun time travel options! Your idea with just the memories is one of the more angsty I know of, though 😂 Just the memories makes it so hard to actually do something! Especially with ADHD, because that fucks your memory up so hard... I'm definitely looking forward to that!!

Both are not the same actually started with the idea of using the regression trope I like to read a lot in comics and then, somehow the idea of 'but what if there are two regressors and they come from different points in time?' 😂 So it's probably not even Stiles' fault 😂 (haven't decided yet, tbh) he's just in the same situation as Peter - and confused about it, because it's already wild that he woke up again and then Peter's there too, but then it's not even the Peter he knows (and probably died with??) but at the same time it is and, well, while there are complications, reliving his life isn't that bad, after all they both have more knowledge and access to more power (know of a way to get more access). (Yes, as you can see, there are even more thoughts for this in my brain 😂)

I love your thoughts about the OG timeline... I usually just ignore it and go the 'the OG timeline doesn't get to exist with the changes' because that's the less depressing option for me 😂 but it would be fascinating to read a fic where you have, like, both sides of the coin? Even though that sounds like a lot of work and thought that need to get into this. Especially since you need to decide how someone's (Stiles'?) presence in the past influences the future or if it does at all. Is the past like another dimension so it doesn't influence the future? does the future change bit by bit and the reader can see it, but the people in the future can't? did the presence not change anything at all on the surface, because they have always been there (the 'whatever you do in the past you already have done it while you lived through the same moment in the present' theory) and the only thing "different" is what happens from now on?

And yes, of course, the whole how does the time traveler integrates into the past. Are they a person that just suddenly appeared additionally? Are they resurfacing in their own old body? Are there two identities in one body? Did they merge to one?

It's such a fun thing to pick and choose what changes how, what stays the same and what's completely new (or gets kicked out)! Also I do love to use the time travel trope (more often a fix-it than not) to have an easy excuse for BAMF characters 😂 (also, they are usually even more traumatized than their past counterpart, but yeah 😂)

Time travel definitely is a very nice sandbox to play in what you know but change it even more than usual 😂

And your reverse time travel also sounds like a lot of fun! That reminds me of that one fic I love (but of course can't remember the title or writer now <.<...) where Stiles changes places with his future self. Like, not bodily (I think) but mentaly. That one actually inspired what I did in I can see what could be and I want it 😂 I think the one thing you have to be careful about there is to make a difference between time travel and something like the looking into the future/seer idea?

I do have a couple more ideas for time travel in petto, too. And I'm definitely gonna write more of it 😂 ironically I didn't like time travel that much before but by now I really love a good time travel (fix it) fic 😂😂

Also: you're very welcome to ramble more to me 👀 in general I mean xD it's so much fun to read and answer!

[latte-cucumber]

haaaii i saw u said u had headcanons on why walter was not in muppets 2015 and . i wanna see PLS!!!!!!! ☀️

hi ok so this one's gonna be a DOOZY. it's less of a hc and more of a "this is an explanation that is absoLutely not how it happened in reality but i am an insane wooter shipper so i have declared it truth." i also may or may not write it into a full-on fic in the future sometime. this is Probably longer than you expected nor wanted i'm Sorry but i have Thoughts on this

and it's also less "why walter wasn't in muppets 2015" and more "the muppets were all together, doing muppety stuff, not one year prior in muppets most wanted. and then one year later they're starting a talk show out of nowhere! rowlf's working a bar!!!! What Happened?"

so this will really only make sense if you've read my fic i don't wanna miss this kiss (at least up to ch 2). i'll put in a quick summary if you haven't read it/don't want to (spoilers ahead) plus this one's Definitely gonna need a readmore so here's as good a place as any

ok so the gist of don't wanna miss: after muppets most wanted, walter gets depressed that he didn’t recognize that kermit was replaced by constantine. yes he saved him, but it was far too late, and kermit had to live in a Gulag for weeks maybe months. and he was the one who pushed kermit into agreeing for the trip, so really it's all his fault that kermit got replaced in the first place!!

and Then. he wishes he was never born

daniel arrives to transport him to a world where he was never born, he's back in LA, everyone's back in the places where they were before muppets 2011. he talks to kermit, has a good old therapy sesh, and then he goes to club dot

see, tex richman Did take the theatre after the end of muppets 2011 in the alternate timeline, but rachel bitterman iavmmcm bought him out for contrived reasons. and scooter, for even more contrived reasons (because i firmly believe the plot of mmw happens less than 3 months after the events of 2011) decides to quit google and work as a cage dancer there. this Did all start as a cage dancer scooter thirst fic ngl

and then in don't wanna miss, walter sees scooter and has Several revelations about their relationship. and scooter gives him Another therapy sesh, coupled with a lot of flirting and several kisses, and then walter decides to go back to his world.

but the thing is. what if he didn't?

so now we get back to the theory. my theory, which may or may not turn into a fic, is that walter decided to stay in the world where he was never born. daniel's waiting for him outside the club, ready for him to say "i'm ready to go back" and then he can take him back to his world and everything will be fine and dandy.

but he doesn't. he comes back, dragging scooter along behind him, and says, "i'm not coming." he's happy with scooter here, they love each other, and they're never gonna separate, not once in a million years.

daniel's like "but--but you gotta! i, uh, i have it on good authority that scooter back home likes you too" but walter's like "no thanks" because come on. if you've snagged cage dancer scooter, who the heck would want to go back to regular old gofer scooter (me. i would. also walter probably but shhh)

daniel's like "you gotta come back. there will be Consequences" but walter is Adamant. he is Not Coming Back he is staying here

so daniel, horrified with what he's done, comes back to the regular timeline and watches the muppet theatre crumble before his very eyes. without walter around to save it, it turns into a withered husk of the building (and/or club dot i haven't decided yet). the muppets are gone. no more. finis

and he goes up to heaven and asks boss what he can do and She says "you gotta start up the muppets again"

"but--but i Can't! i just destroyed them! they're better off without me"

"well, you got your work cut out for you, kid. but you gotta get them back together"

so he thinks for a while, then finally goes up to kermit's mansion. kermit is Shocked to see him, like it's been 20 years and he just Appears out of Nowhere. daniel apologizes (even though kermit doesn't know what he's apologizing for) and then he says "so. how do you feel about starting up a late night show?"

and this has been a Very long trip from the original question But. this is my theory on a) why muppets 2015 exists b) why they're in an office instead of the theatre and c) why walter isn't in it. answer to all of the above: because he's busy kissing cage dancer scooter in the world where he was never born. i have some More thoughts on how he returns to this world, but i will save that for another post. hope you enjoyed this far too long deep dive into my head :)

[mayonakano-archive]

Whoaa much enstars lore... and ruri is adorable wait ... also are there canon aliens in enstars??

Tell me more about leo's depression travel arc/alien abduction if you'd like ? I'm fascinated, he's just. He's justa. Liddle guy<3

OH YEAH RURI IS IMPLIED TO BE AN ALIEN AND THE ONE THAT PUT ENGIRLS INTO A TIMELOOP (Uhm, hold on *shuffling papers* okay! Strap in Kippy beloved, this is gonna take a bit!)

Okay. let me explain that whole "EnGirl is a timeloop thing". actually that's about all i know. Ruri (I think?) is implied to A) be an Alien and B) Have put the EnGirls timeline into a loop so it never ends. Why? Idk. I don't know much about EnGirls. Also EnGirls takes place at the same time as Enstars !!-Era so some people speculate !! is also stuck in a timeloop by virtue of that, since the two DO cross over with Ruka/Leo and Suzu/Mika being related.

Anyway! Onto the shut-in Leo arc aka my favorite Leo arc bc he's SUCH a fucked up little guy. So! So!!!! Okay. Okay. I don't know your baseline knowledge so I'm gonna assume you know Nothing and explain it all. Ummmm. Readmore'd for the sake of everyone's sanity bc I go Insane(tm) about Leo. Sorry for the essay kippy i love him so much

OKAY. A story in Three Parts. Part 1: i don't actually have a name for this part its just prelude and talking about the War mostly. I go on "tangents" throughout here that mostly just add extra context to certain things. IMPORTANT NOTES: There's mentions of ANIMAL ABUSE and BLOOD. Also just a lot of SAD STUFF. Thought I'd warn you!

So! Leo! Leader of the Mega unit - [TANGENT 1: MEGA UNITS. Before Units were split up into the 2-5 (Mama is an exception) that they are now, Units were MASSIVE and guild-like. There could be hundreds of people in one unit. One of the side effects of the War was the dissolution of Mega-units] - Chess, also known as "Backgammon" or "Orthello", but when Leo was put in charge he changed it back to Chess. It's heavily implied that Eichi was behind the former leader before Leo getting ousted from his position, allowing Leo to step into the leadership position.

NOW! This is where it gets MESSY. Leo, as you might well know, is a character who loves far too hard, far too fast, and far too much. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it contributes to his downfall. Once he's put into this leadership position, it's revealed that Chess is coming apart at the seams, more or less. Many members just ride off of Chess' good name, and slack on actually being an idol. [TANGENT 2: WHO'S PART OF CHESS (That we care about)? Primarily Ritsu, Leo and Izumi! Tsukasa has NOT entered Yumenosaki yet, Ritsu slacked a lot but still did occasionally go to practice, and Arashi... Tbh I'm wishy-washy on her position but she generally doesn't go to practice or doesn't care much about the unit so while she might be part of it, I don't tend to count her at this stage. Leo is the leader, and Izumi acts as his right-hand man and protector.] So, Leo is kind of also fraying apart at the seams because Chess is falling apart and threatening to splinter into sub-units, especially once Eichi introduces the new Live system; but Leo's ultimately incapable of holding them together and they fragment. Many of these sub-units take names inspired by Chess pieces - Knight was already taken, so Izumi suggests Knights. Leo and Izumi are the founding members of Knights. Sometime around here Leo talks to one of the splinter units he's meant to fight, and offers them a deal. They can be his friend, but never use his songs again; OR they can use his songs all they'd like, but they'd throw away any chance of friendship with him they add. Everyone chose to use his songs. So. After Knights is formed, Eichi starts using Leo (and his friendship with Leo) to destroy units he doesn't care for, and to eliminate the sub-units of Chess. Under the stress of destroying people he once cared for, realizing the members of Chess - who Leo'd do anything for and loved dearly - were only using him for his songs, and his relationship with Izumi getting messy, Leo cracks.

[TANGENT 3: LEO AND EICHI. Leo and Eichi met in the hospital. Leo had broken his arm protecting the cat Little John, who resides in the archery range. Delinquents often hung out in the archery range as it was far from the school, and once day decided to terrorize Little John by shooting her with arrows and trying to burn her. Leo protects her by picking her up and running around the range to keep her away from them, but this leads to him slipping, falling, protecting Little John, and breaking his arm. It's implied the break was bad, as Madara finds him via Little John's meowing in a pool of his own blood, composing with his blood, and saying the pain gave him inspiration as he's "Never felt such pain before" (A REAL QUOTE.) - Also Leo calls Eichi "Tenshi".]

PART 2: SHUT-IN ERA

So. Under all the weight of crushing people's dreams, Izumi's pressure on him, and everything else, Leo breaks and disappears. He becomes a shut-in, forcing himself to compose because he doesn't think anyone will love him if he can't compose. It's implied that he bites his hands till they bleed when he can't compose, and he generally just stops taking care of himself. In Lionheart Izumi visits the Tsukinaga household, and Ruka ends up crying while begging Izumi to talk to Leo, which prompts Leo to come out of his room to tell Izumi off for "making Ruka cry". It's noted by Izumi at this point that Leo can barely stand and looks terrible.

[TANGENT 4: LEO AND IZUMI. Leo and Izumi have been friends for A While, I don't really know how long tbh? Since they were first years, I think? And they're extremely close. Izumi is. Not A Great Person during this whole thing, and while Leo's giving Izumi nothing but love and praise Izumi scolds him and tells him to do better. Izumi himself notes that he made a mistake by being so harsh on Leo. Izumi's actually really hard on himself for his part in Leo breaking, but Leo constantly forgives him and even says during Next Door that "[Izumi] is the only one who thinks he did anything wrong." (Might not be the exact quote, but close enough) So. Leo's entirely forgiven him and thinks him blameless.]

So. Leo just kind of... Shuts himself away. Composes, or, tries to compose. He often says that he can hear melodies in his head, and during this era especially they've disappeared, which only add to his slump. Sometime during this, Madara decides enough is enough and sends Leo travelling. It's never outright stated where Leo goes, or what he does, but he was gone for most of his Second Year, between disappearing and shutting himself in his house. It's important to note that nobody but Madara knows what happened to Leo when he disappeared. (iirc) Madara does bring Leo back to the stage at one point in Concerto, where he manages to get Leo to perform with him. Izumi, I believe, says that Madara "saved Leo" but that Knights "brought him back to the sage" but. Zuzu. Bestie. He performed with Madara first before he rejoined Knights??? Anyway.

Leo shows up again around the start of his third year, sneaking around the school and trying to get a feel for Tsukasa. Tbh I forget exactly when Ritsu properly started joining in but I think that was during the War Era, and Arashi joined in around then, too? So Knights was a 3-person, then 4-person unit for a while. Izumi, Ritsu, Arashi, and Tsukasa. Leo then challenges them to a duel - Judgement. To determine if Knights is worthy of still existing. During Judgement Leo teams up with Eichi, Nazuna, and Kuro to form a temporary unit called "Knights Killers" while Knights is made up of the aforementioned members. Knights manages to tie the Judgement, and Leo realizes that he can't dissolve Knights, as they belong to the others just as much as their his unit. So. Leo rejoins Knights. Huzzah!

PART 3: WHAT'S HE DOIN NOW?

Leo Duels Tsukasa to see if he's worthy of the crown and title of ousama when he graduates. I'm gonna be real I don't remember a lot of this story but Tsukasa does get Leo's approval in the end. So. Leo and Izumi graduate, and Tsukasa takes over as the leader of Knights. Leo and Izumi live together in Italy (after Izumi says that he needs to keep an eye on Leo) and Izumi works as Leo's "manager" to make sure he's not spreading himself too thin.

[TANGENT 5: THAT WHOLE THING. In The DF debut event that I haven't read, Leo's revealed to be taking on a bunch of solo work and spreading himself super thin. The only reason Mama gets involved is because he's concerned about Leo. After this, in Next Door, Izumi says he needs to keep an eye on Leo and make sure he's not spreading himself too thin, hence letting Leo stay with him in Italy, and becoming his 'manager'.]

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

ok guys i'm trying to put the playlist songs in order, here's the tentative order + reasons, lmk what you think!!

(major major spoilers for webtoon readers about the rounds that Tesilid went through before reuniting with Ailette)

(playlist link)

The concept I'm taking w this playlist is for it to mostly follow Tesilid's chronological POV, not Ailette/the reader's.

1. It's You: Pre-regression Tesilid, about Ailette. (tbh i think it also works near the end once the '17th' loop starts, but it lowkey feels a little too cheerful for Tesilid's POV at that point in time?)

I also kind of feel like there needs to be at least one song before It's You, for Tesilid before he first meets Ailette. But it needs to have super specific vibes??? Like, less depressing compared to the later ones, and more petulant and complain-y. The "why am I the only one with these duties..." and being too shy to accept food kind of vibes, the Tesilid doesn't have depression yet kind of vibes. but idk rn I can only think of angsty songs bc [spoiler] grabbed my whole brain.

2. Tell Me: idk i'm putting this song here just according to the vibes. It doesn't feel depressing enough to be late-regression Tesilid.

3. Theatre: Round 85-99 Tesilid (when he manages to save the world) or maybe even slightly before. He wishes he can just be himself and pleads with god, he just wants to stop acting his role. But he hasn't completely given up hope. He is still waiting for 'that someone out there' to hear his voice. The song feels like a cry of help and an expression of what he desperately wants, rather than a requiem or mourning of his old self and dreams. (tbh this can also work for current timeline Tesilid? for when he starts to see hope or a path forward again. This song is a little Too Tesilid it feels like it can fit most points of his very long life)

4. Show Me What I'm Looking For: Round 99 Tesilid, when he visits the Bible of Truth. "Ailette, I'm here... but where are you?" "Show me what i'm looking for" and he gets the truth of the world and. hahaha. he acts accordingly.

5. I am the Strongest: Reed. I used the instrumental instead of the lyric cover in the playlist bc i... don't really like the vocals and i can't find a cover of that cover... sorry. the lyrics really slap and fit perfectly though, 100% recommend going through it too.

Songs 3-5 (Theatre - I am the strongest) need to go in this specific order for maximum impact. It's the expression of what he actually wants > please just throw me a rope, i'll pay any cost, save me from being confused; show me a path and i'll follow it > ok i was shown one (1) path, time to destroy the world so i can no longer be hurt

6. Lower One's Eyes: i'm trusting vnikat on this being reed x Ailette for reasons that are spoilers to me as well. Chronogically it goes here because Ailette exists.

7. Flos: Current timeline Tesilid. Melancholic and tired and defeated and reminiscing about his old hopes and dreams and wondering if he can still have them. (I considered putting it at the front, pre-Theatre, but idk i feel like that pre-85 Tesilid wouldn't be this downtrodden and defeated because he was still diligently working towards what he thought was salvation)

8. 1/6 -out of gravity-: Ailette re-entering the scene and being super ready to do everything she can to relieve Tesilid's pain and burden by even just a little. I think this song really matches the tone of the first 2 seasons of the webtoon.

9. Endless Struggle: Tesilid feeling like he's sinned and that he doesn't deserve kindness, but he's doing his best to repent and become stronger

I think 1/6 out of gravity and Endless Struggle need to go as a pair. It's the juxtaposition of cute anime girl trying to cheer you up followed immediately by the emotional fallout of [spoiler]. I think the tonal change really replicates what we readers feel hahahahaha 🤗🥲

The rest of the songs are, i think, mostly just wishful thinking about what we hope/think the rest of the series might have. The tonal shifts here are more abrupt because they're kind of disjointed guesses.

10. I want to become your god: Not too sure about its inclusion. Saviour complex things. But the lyrics sound a little too hopeless & powerless to fit either Ailette or Tesilid's vibes at the current point of the webnovel translation. Ailette is powerful enough that she has a reasonable chance of saving the world and Tesilid. On the other hand, Tesilid kind of doesn't really care about saving anyone at this point, and I feel like even back when he did, it wasn't really out of a desperate need for self-validation like in this song. But I think this song definitely goes after 1/6 -> Endless Struggle! For maximum devastation.

11. Jiwa yang bersedih: Us coping and hoping that Tesilid will get to hear these words and internalise them lol. Putting this after I want to become your god, because I think even if Ailette can't completely undo all the pain that Tesilid has gone through, she can still soothe his pain in a way that few others can give him. and also eventually solve the whole godless world problem.

12. To Be Me: I'm just coping with the inclusion of this song. I just hope that Tesilid reaches a point where he starts to forgive himself and starts to live because even if it hurts, he genuinely believes that there's light at the end of the tunnel and that he can finally breathe and live as himself and discover himself so long as he keeps actively choosing to live. Anyway the lyrics for this song are beautiful and I think you guys should also listen to it even as a not-Tesilid song. Lines like "going forward, going forward, going forward but going back again" read completely different and hit really hard when it's about someone with a normal mortal lifespan and not a regressor doing introspection lol.

tldr; Feels like there's a missing song for pre-regression Tesilid's frustrations

i'll probably create another post for the final order to be put on my pinned post, and which is spoiler free so that any webtoon reader that comes across my blog or playlist can read it too

[anon-unofficial]

I dunno about you guys but for me there's just something super appealing to reading your favorite blorbos react to their own source media (AS WELL AS FAN CONTENT MAYBE??) and actually give interesting and fun commentary and reactions, because, well, I love them–

just. if someone wrote a reaction fic where the A Hero is Born timeline in lmk gets to see the

(sparkles)

✨FUUTUUUREEE✨

I'd probably shake in my boots and never be able to shut up about it because like???? IT'S??? PERFECT????

All I can imagine is the Eldritch Being of Whom Brought The Cast Here™ bringing in Wukong (who promptly panics and ends up transforming into that bird form he had while watching Mk eavesdrop on the demon bull family) and everybody else into the Magical Theater™

MK mmmight recognize the bird??? maybe???? and maybe he could have these one-sided conversations with it (while not knowing that he's literally talking to his idol and soon-to-be mentor) anD in the reveal that the animals watching him this whole time was Wukong, everybody could just comically snap their necks to his bird form while he basically just goes

"(⁠; • - •)" (crap crap crap crap)

"(• - • ;;)" (just look away wukong just loooook away it's fiNe–)

and and and and and and and and

sorry what was I talking about again

but just. ideas. people can get creative with the interactions and I can't help but want to know how each character would develop as their future is revealed more and more and secrets are no longer covered?? I'm. I might be a tiny bit obsessed with the trope but can you really blame me tho I just can't help it 😞

The most difficult thing for an author to make, and it's the most enjoyable thing for readers like me to read

I might make the reaction fic myself actually. ahem. (@an-t-hiho hey so–)

I also can't stop thinking about the LMK cast finding out about their fanbase

them to reacting and finding out about fan content as well, like how we think abt them (the majority of us going feral over Macaque and/or Wukong)

and, most importantly, our FANART.

just imagine that in their perspective; transported to a realm beyond their comprehension, not really knowing what to expect now that the access they had to their powers were gone... only to then be introduced to a whole other reality where they are nothing more than just a kid's show.

they'd be infuriated, no doubt. confused. maybe even a bit depressed and discouraged, but then the Eldritch Being who brought them there shows them that they're actually loved? that people from this universe want to... hug them? be with them? meet them? help them? all while knowing everything about them; from their mistakes, to their faults, to their vulnerabilities, to their weaknesses. they still love them. even if they might not deserve it. even if they don't deserve it. they still do. those people still do.

a universe apart, and yet, we're still willing to give them the love they deserve. just imagine:

Wukong and Macaque. seeing how many people find them so tragic. seeing how many people have analyzed their argument and have deduced that neither of them are at fault. seeing how much these people would do just to help them communicate better. they love them.

Red Son. seeing how many people absolutely ADORE him for who he is. seeing how many people would love to just be with him and hang around. seeing how much people have drawn him. him and his ridiculousness. they love him.

MK. seeing how many people love him. seeing how many people love drawing him. seeing how many people want to comfort him through what he had to go through. seeing how much these people from a whole other dimension would give just to give him a well-deserved hug. they love him.

and of course, last and most definitely least, LBD, seeing how many people want to end her. such a wholesome idea, don't you think?

[farfromstrange]

Dear Everyone,

I wasn’t sure whether or not I should write this, but as I’ve checked back in with my Tumblr account, I’ve come to realize that you guys deserve an explanation.

Yesterday, I finished my last written final exam. I’ve worked my ass off for the past five weeks and now I’m done. I’m not sure if I did well enough or if I screwed up, but all of that doesn’t matter right now because I am done. I’ve made it through. I’ve survived and now I’m (almost) free.

I wasn’t active much these past five weeks, I didn’t interact with some of the amazing work my mutuals put out and what’s to be found on my timeline, and I haven’t written anything in over a month. As someone who’s used to writing non-stop, it’s been hard and I’ve often felt like a failure because my head just wasn’t working the way I wanted it to. But then I realized struggling school and forcing creativity is just not something that’s going to help. Creativity has to come natural and if I don’t have inspiration, it’s of no use to blame myself for not being able to write or create something. I needed to realize that it’s a process that shouldn’t be and can’t be rushed in the ways I wanted it to, and that living for creating art for others is no way to live when I’m not enjoying it. So I’ve learned a lot about myself and where I wanted the work I do to go.

I’ve started on a journey to finding my essence because I’ve always felt like something was lacking.

I’m sorry to those who expected more of me, but my private life and school have drained the last of my energy and now that I’m done, I need time to recharge. That doesn’t mean I’ll disappear again, not at all, it just means that me prioritizing my mental health is something I deserve after burning all of my brain cells and giving more than I had for my education. And my mental health will always be more important than anything else, which a lot of you have told me too and it caused me to rethink some of the decisions I’ve made and how unhealthy they were.

It’s time for me to change in ways that will offer me the best life possible, and it’s a process I have to accept and work with. It’s crazy what five weeks of hell can do to you and how quickly it makes you mature.

I basically stared into the mirror and I hated what I saw, so trying to figure shit out now is important to me because I need to learn how to be myself and be independent for when the time comes and I need to be on my own. Which will be soon. And I want to figure it out because I’m not the type of person to just quit. I don’t want to quit, I want to keep pushing forward and I want to be the best version of myself I can be, flaws and all. I think that’s an important lesson I’ve learned.

I’m also terribly sorry to those who’ve been waiting for me to work on their requests. I didn’t forget, I just didn’t have the inspiration and the time to write. And I’m a perfectionist who likes to please others, too, so I didn’t want to write something half-assed and then disappoint you.

The time issue has changed, but the inspiration is still lacking and so I will try to find that creative bone in myself now that I can rest a little. I’m going to focus on myself to get back into the spirit of creating content because writing is my passion and probably the one thing that’s kept me sane most of my life. I don’t want to lose it. I need to practice a little and get back into it, and once I get my mojo back and I’m back to being myself not some depressed and stressed shell of the woman I was, I’ll come back to being as present as I used to be.

I might channel all the feelings and thoughts I’ve had over the past few weeks into words once I’ve figured out how to use them again. It might turn into some really good content. Especially the angst. Oh, I can’t wait for that. My fingers are itching, I just haven’t figured out how to work with it yet. That needs some time and peace, and I will grant myself that because I feel like I deserve it.

That’s another thing I’ve learned. I deserve to take care of myself, take time and grant myself some space and peace because I’m only human and I worked hard, so doubting myself is of no use. I deserve good things too. It’s like I’m growing up, almost, and I hate it as much as I love it because realizing all of this has made some things in my life easier to process.

Thank you to everyone who checked in on me, who shared their love and their support. It means the world to me. And to the over 400 followers I’ve noticed are now on my profile, thank you for entering my crazy world even though I haven’t been around much. I’ve never felt more appreciated. It makes me feel like my work still means something to people and that some of my writing still helps you guys in the same ways it helped me while writing it, and it’s this that gives me motivation to get back to writing. It makes me excited for the future. It makes me proud of myself for pushing through because I know it wasn’t worthless.

So thank you all for your support and I can’t wait to get back out there and just live my life. I can’t wait to write, to bring the faint ideas I have in my head to life and just interact with you guys again because that’s what makes this platform so much fun. I need good things in my life. I also need a vacation and lots of vodka, but that’s a talk for another day.

(Really, it’s a necessity I can’t afford, but I like to imagine I’ll be lying on a beach sooner or later with a cocktail in my hand and the sun shining down on my skin)

I love you guys with all of my heart and I lay my gratitude at your feet.

Yours truly,

Lizzi 🤍

[cherryeol04]

Sorry! Not a request or anything but a part of me really wanted to see what’ll happen if y/n never chose to come back to the pack in taking control around chapter 8 i think?

I’d love to see your own little what if scenario, like maybe y/n slowly getting emotionless to the point where they dont want to move. Her wolf slowing down and only wanting to sleep in all day, kinda like listless

Just a little thought cause your stories got me hooked up!! And thank you!

OMG Anon! You’re the worst for even putting this thought in my head! But I mean….since you asked…hehe 😏

So in order for Y/n to not have gone back to the pack, I actually went back all the way to chapter 3 of Losing Control. And I think I made Y/n just a little more broken than in the original story. I honestly absolutely hate myself for writing this! Ahhhh!!! 😭 😢

Let’s all take a moment and be glad that instead of this timeline, we have the original one!

Hope you enjoy the little drabble, my love!

TW: This is very sad and has heavily references to depression and loss of the will to live. If this is triggering to anyone, please skip it! Remember that your mental health is important! You are loved!

The pain you were feeling was worse than the last time you had left the pack. At least last time, it had been your choice. Not that you had wanted to leave them to begin with, but you had thought it had been the right thing to do. You had been the problem. This time was different. It wasn’t you that was the problem, but they all seemed to think it was. The way they stared at you - the hatred gleaming in their eyes, piercing your soul. It was something you probably would never forget.

You had honestly thought everything had been fixed. You were a part of the pack and bonding with everyone. There was so much love. But it seemed like you had been deceived. Everything you thought was real was nothing but a lie, because if they actually care for you then they wouldn’t have tossed you away so easily. It didn’t matter if Jisung was dying or not! You don’t just kick out someone you claimed to care about! A person that others put countless hours into making feel comfortable - going so far as to create a nesting room for them as well. This wasn’t how you were supposed to be treated!

And yet here you were, alone in a dark alleyway. No home, no money; just a bag with the little belongings that you owned and even then you couldn’t say they were yours. Sure, they had been given to you, but they weren’t yours. You had nothing that was truly yours. In a little less than a year you had lost your family, friends and now the only other place you could call home. As cliche as it sounded, it felt like the world was against you. Your happiness meant nothing to anyone and you were destined to just be alone.

It was probably best you were alone. As much as your wolf howled in protest, pacing anxiously, you knew it was true. Because you didn’t want to put yourself out there again to be hurt. As the saying goes “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Shame on me…

As day turned to night, you wandered the backstreets of the city that once was so warm and inviting, but now was a cold, cruel barren wasteland to you. You managed to find a decent looking group of people with a barrel fire that you could stay with to keep warm. It would have to be your home for now. Until you could find something better. If you could find something better.

Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and with each passing tick of the clock, you felt more and more mentally drained. Your optimism diminished quickly and left in its wake numbness. You stayed with the group all that time, occasionally scrounging for food to help pull your weight, but the more you thought back on your life and what it could be if only Chan and the other’s had actually loved you, the more hopeless you felt, to the point that sleeping on the grimy floor no longer bothered you. Instead, you laid there, listless - eyes seeing but not registering. You couldn’t feel the rest of your body and it felt almost as if you were floating.

You were just existing.

Your wolf had long since given up trying to motivate you to get up and go back to the pack. Its cries for Jisung finally dying out. In fact, your wolf had been silent for days now, motionless. A part of you wondered if it was possible to kill it. It seemed impossible, as it was an extension of you. It was who you were, a shifter. But what was a shifter without a pack? Or without a will to live at the very least?

Nothing.

You were nothing and they had proven that you.

As you closed your eyes, perhaps for the final time, you couldn’t help but hope that Jisung survived his attack and the pack was happy and healthy. Because while they may wish ill upon you, you only wanted the best for them. Because you still loved them.

You would always love them.