#wolverine has PTSD
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Thinking about Logan adjusting to this new timeline, becoming sober, and Wade somehow finding Logan's dog tags. ~4k words.
(Tw: Logan's a depressed recovering alcoholic with survivor guilt, unofficial proposal, canon usual implied sex jokes, Logan tries to flirt but fails)
To my wife. Who's halo lit up my dark life to see just how many doors were available to me when I couldn't see them myself<3
He offers him his to wear as a cutesie matching necklace type of thing but Logan is hesitant to take them, scared of what will come of it. He does it anyway though because he sees how happy Wade is wearing his.
What he refuses to tell him though is that just hearing the tags jingle makes him jump, flinch, his heart rate rises, and his mind floods with scenes he's worked so hard draining every bar he could find dry just so he could forget.
For me, I, too, am a man with deeply rooted animal instincts and was raised to behave like an obedient pet instead of the animal they made me.
An animal trained to take orders. A soldier without his post is miserable and constantly is either trying to find it again or defend himself from ever having to go back to a post to begin with.
You aren't good enough for them if you obey what they say and excel past the standards. But you aren't good enough if you question their authority and make choices for yourself either. Hoizer comes to mind.
Running with the bulls
Working my miracles
Holding my world together with a boot string
His night terrors are worse, more frequent, constantly a battle between wanting to protect and defend the less fortunate to saying, 'No, I'm done with that. It's none of my business, It’s someone else's problem now.'
He wakes up screaming, claws drawn, every possible sense he has to run activated, panting, gasping almost for air. He's panting, heaving deep but quick breaths, all of the hairs on his arms raised like a cat who just heard a dog barking after having gotten attacked as a kitten.
Living the dream
Benzos and gasoline
Coffee and blue light screens till the morning
He wakes to the sunlight in his face, gets up, stretches, takes his Valium. Eats some toast, calls it breakfast, gets dressed for his weekly AA meeting. The moment he steps inside it smells like Gasoline. Sweet honey scented lies that he hates to admit that he knew all too well. ‘It was only one’ ‘I asked for a virgin one but they brought me the wrong one’ ‘I'm trying, I really am..it's just.. hard’ He's heard them all before but the last one he could relate to the most.
Coming home at night, Logan puts his face into the back of his partner's neck, hugging him from behind as he offers to watch a cowboy movie marathon with him. He barely eats, only taking what Wade gives him or shoves in his mouth like the now spilled popcorn that was all over the ground, His boyfriend sprawled out on the couch while the “Dvd” bounces back and forth on the blue screen.
Wade never likes it but recently he's been drinking coffee at night, pacing back and forth as he searched online for a job. Kept himself far from the nightmares that were trying to catch up with him.
If I tell you this is drowning
You tell me I'm walking on water
I could bring fire from the mountain
You tell me it feels a little colder
Everyone was telling him how good he was doing, how well he was adjusting, how happy they were that he was here and yet.. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Any of it. Not the second chance, not the love and support of all his new family, not the affection from the man who whispered how proud of him he was each night..
It doesn't help his mental status when multiple jobs reject him either. Interviews don't exactly go that well when you have claws for hands and a reputation for having a temper.
“I'm sorry we're looking for someone with more… experience.. in this field. You need an entry level job.”
“Woah dude! You are WAY too qualified to be working here! you should try looking for something higher up, yeah?”
“I'm sorry. You're too much of a liability.”
“Oh my god- You're the Wolverine!”
“Yes.. but uhm.. No.. I'm just Logan now.”
“Wait, why are you applying here? This is a cashier position.”
“I'm aware..”
“Aren't you like… an X-men?”
“N-no… not anymore.”
“Oh… Did they fire you?”
“I quit.”
“Why?”
“Are.. these questions part of the interview?”
What kind of man was he if he couldn't even get a damn job at McDonald's? It felt useless. Like everybody wanted something different from him, but no one was happy either way. Never pleased with his resume or his reputation. You would think being an ex X-man would make it easy. Of course someone would want to hire a superhero? Right? Wrong.
I don't wanna
Choose between being a salesman or a soldier
Just let me look a little older
It seemed everyone wanted him to rejoin the X-men and as much as he missed that mansion upstate, it wasn't his. So many times he's been told stories about himself that he didn't even remember …well.. because it wasn't him. They wanted The Wolverine.
Their Wolverine.
Not Logan.
There was always that spot at the dealership with Peter. Now that Wade was back on his role with mercenary stuff and doing more “Favors” with Colossus, Negasonic and Yukio, that position was open. Part of him- No. Scratch that. All of him was happy for Wade. He seemed to be enjoying life so much more now that he felt he had purpose. But what was his purpose? Selling cars?? Definitely not. Even if it was, they were looking for something else anyway.
“It says here that you are 286 years old. Is that a typo?”
“Oh- uhm… No..”
“I see…Well we are currently looking for someone… younger.. to fill that spot. Sorry.”
But they were never actually sorry. He could smell it.
Coming home from the failed hunt, he felt like an older lion losing its pride to a younger male lion. Well- if lions could develop arthritis in their knees and hands. Once a day he'd pop out his claws, just to keep them ready though he felt like he hadn't used them in such a long time… Maybe he really was turning into an old house cat like wade said.
Sitting in their shared bedroom, he was grumbling to himself, grunting as he tried to get his claw unstuck. This wasn't the first time they locked up and he feared it wasn't the last either.
He snapped his head up at the sound of tags. Around the corner came who he expected, Wade, quickly hiding his hand under the blanket. Coming in, his eyes widened.
“Woah wolvie! Without me? Really? I would have gladly done it for you.”
At first Logan wanted to thank him for offering to help before quickly realizing that from how his hand was under the blanket, it did look suspiciously like adult alone time.
“T-that's not… no.”
“M'kaay. If you say sooo~”
“H-how uhm.. How was work?”
Watching as he began to grab shower clothes and take off his mask, He smiled.
“Oh you know! Watching the life drain from peoples eyes and what not as they beg for their life! The usual.”
“Oh.. that's.. fun?”
“Extremely liberating stuff.”
Watching as he began to strip, He swallowed, wishing he'd leave already so he could finish shoving the claw back into his skin.
Let me step a little bolder
I don't wanna
Choose between being a butcher or a pauper
“You wanna take a shower with me?” He asked, Beginning to walk around butt naked in nothing but his tags.
“U-uhm… No. No thanks, I had one this morning.”
“D'awwww what? Worried i'll see your peanuts? News flash baby, I've had those things down my throat! And I will say. They're better salty anyways~”
All this teasing changed his monotone face into a small goofy smile as he came close, crawling up into his lap, taking hold of his cheeks as he kissed his nose.
“What's wrong? Did you not get the job?”
He was so envious of how he could say such dirty things. Wade was so confident and yet so shy about his face. It made him think of when he was that confident in himself too. (Probably overly confident if we're being honest) Oh that was so many years ago… he'd never get that back. And honestly? He wasn't sure if he wanted to.
Logan said nothing but it was all the answer wade needed.
“I see. Well you'll get’em next time, Right?”
He looked away. Ashamed. Here Wade was, being overly supportive, giving him everything, and still he couldn't find a single happy bone in his body.
Shifting his leg to reassure him more, His knee was placed on the claw, yipping. “Ouch!”
“Sorry! I… I can't.. i-it won't..”
And on top of all that, he just hurt him. Man he sucked at this. All of it. Every little bit of it.
Pulling his hand away, Logan's eyes looked over Wade just as quick as it happened, Trying to see if he was bleeding only to jolt.
“Hey- shh.. Calm down. You're alright.” Grabbing his wrist, he carefully moved the tags that had gotten stuck on the claw.
“What's got you all riled up, Kitty? The interview couldn't have been that bad.”
But what he didn't know is that it WAS that bad.
Instantly Logan broke down, breaking heavily as he began to sob, gritting his teeth as he put his non-stuck hand on his face, wanting to hide. He felt pathetic. Useless. Weak. All of the things he fought not to be.
“Ooh, Honey come her-” Wade reached a hand out, trying to console him only to be shoved away.
“Don't!! I-.. I'm tired of hurting people! That's not who I want to be!”
“Baby cakes, it was an accident-”
“No!! Eveyone wants the Wolverine until the fucking wolverine is actually acting like the Wolverine!” He shouted, trying not to choke on his own tears.
Tilting his head, Wade blinked as if he wasn't aware of what he was talking about, but why would he? Logan hasn't told him anything negative for the past 2 weeks. Keeping it all bottled up, trying to push it deep down but that wasn't him. He couldn't handle it anymore.
“Everyone just keeps saying I should join the X-men again and i-” Wilson put his hands on his shoulders, looking at him with the most serious he has ever been in his entire life.
“Logan, If that's what you want we'll make it work. It's only an hour drive, and i'm sure I could visi-”
“Wade!! Shut. Up! I don't…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he began to apologize, whispering he was sorry for yelling at him.
“I-it's not your fault.. I.. I don't..”
Wade was patient, Nodding, encouraging him to open up with his words. He knew when it was time to zip it and let him talk. Now was one of those times. It was his turn to listen.
“I don't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to fight to begin with but… It's the only thing I'm good at. I'm not good at anything else.. My whole life I've just been jumping team after team and they all eventually die or I just get kicked out for not understanding the power of team work or whatever. Hell, I've been through three different wars and every single time I ran away! Like a damn dog with its tail between its legs! All except the times I was TOLD to run and I didn't. Fuck, Wade! 3 fucking wars and I can't even take orders right!!”
Honey, I'm taking no orders
Gonna be nobody’s soldier
It was now Wade's turn to try to stifle a laugh, snorting as he covered his mouth.
“What's so fucking funny?! That your boyfriend is a sad pathetic loser who can't even get his hands to listen to him!?”
Now he burst out laughing, starting to giggle.
“You're over here talking about not being able to take orders and not being good enough for a team while talking to the same guy who can't even GET on a team and was kicked out of Canadian special forces because I didn't listen to a single thing they said! And you think I care if you ‘can't take orders’ ??” He said this last part in a mocking tone, trying hard to be serious but couldn't.
Logan's eyebrows scrunched with a skeptical glare, tears still dripping down his face, feeling embarrassed and stupid.
Cupping his face again, Wade smiled ear to ear, their foreheads together. “You're much dumber than the comics make you out to be if you think I'd care about anything like that. You honestly think I'd care if you don't want to be anyone's soldier? Why do you think I'm my own boss? The world isn't built for guys like us, baby. And if you wanna open a coffee shop or- pursue your dreams of photography, or hell! Even bird watching for all I care, I will still love you. We will make it work. No matter what you choose to do. Even if you don't get a job at all. Do you understand?”
The man started into his eyes, seemingly frozen as he processed all that he said.
“Logan..”
“Hm?”
“You gotta nod hon, we've talked about this.”
Slowly nodding, indicating that he understood, the tears got thicker as he pulled himself into Wade's shoulder, sobbing more.
“Oooh There there… There's my big strong man..” Wrapping his arms around him, he was careful of the single knife still out. Sitting him up, he rubbed the side of his face as he kissed the other cheek, only to gasp.
“GAASSSPP!! Peanut!”
“What!?” His grip tightened around his waist as he looked around urgently, immediately sniffling and starting to wipe his eyes.
“You're getting greys!” He coed, reaching up to pluck a single gray hair from the beast, who flinched. “Ouch..”
Leaning back, Wade held the hair in front of his face, His smile still wider than ever.
“You're turning into A silver fox, wolvie!”
“W-what?”
“Ooh I bet you're gonna be so handsome! Eehh!” Hugging him again, tight around his neck.
Blushing, He wasn't sure what had just happened. How him venting and crying out of the rage he felt to Wade fangirling over one of his single hairs.. though.. I guess it made sense for your bald boyfriend to monitor yours. Wade has even made him start using a fancy shampoo that made his hair a lot softer, curlier, and Less greasy.
“.. you..You're excited that i'm getting old..??”
“Duh! I've always wanted to be a hot silver daddy's sugar baby!”
“What does that even mean?”
“Don't worry about it- Oh hey look! Your claw went back in.”
Looking at his hand, he made a fist and opened it a couple of times, blinking, oblivious. “...How did you do that?”
But what he didn't realize is that the stress was flowing out of him, and the relief that Wade seemed to be obsessed with him no matter what had calmed him down enough for it to slide back in itself.
“I didn't do anything, sweetheart. You opened up. Let it out. All that stress isn't good for you, you know. How do you think I ended up looking like this?” He joked, giggling.
For some reason, He laughed too, finding this a bit funny.
“Do you feel better? Hm?”
“Nngh..”
“I'll take that as a yes.” The naked man whispers, kissing him with his arms lazily on his shoulders, glad that he was able to cry in front of him. Twas a very manly thing to do and there was no one more manly than the Wolverine himself.
“Alright. I'm gonna go shower. I stink worse than you do after being out in the rain.” You know, wet dog and all. Pulling away, there was a clang and a tug at both of their necks, the tags becoming stuck together, making wade smirk more. “I think these tags don't want me to go.”
Quickly frowning, Logan swallowed, moving to take his off, pulling up his hand as he held it, putting the tag inside of it, closing his fingers.
“Wha..I-... what are you doing?”
“Wade.. I..” He sighs, looking away with a nervous pout, Grunting a bit from frustration. Why did words have to be so difficult?
“Are you breaking up with me?!”
“What!? No! I-.. I don't..”
See what Logan didn't know was that Wade had viewed these as promise rings, the equivalent of engagement even but he was okay with never actually getting married. As long as he got to wear the dress in his closet and dance with him he wouldn't mind if it was legal or not. He understood fully that not everyone wanted to marry the stage 4 cancer patient whose skin looked like turkey bacon that was somehow raw and burnt at the same time.
“You don't what? Do you.. want something else? We can get rings! Do you want rings?” shifting to sit closer to him, Wade was obviously becoming upset about this, untangling the tags and looking at him with those big brown puppy eyes.
“Rings…?”
He could see the gears in his head trying their best to turn as he thought what he meant.
“How would we make them into rings?” He finally asks and to Wade, this was basically a proposal.
Sitting up more he began clapping excitedly the same way he did when seeing puppins again about 8 months ago. “Eeh!! Yes!!”
His head turns, Giggling. “I would've taken it in front of the subway like Sanda Bullock but this works too!”
Logan, like a dumb ass, looked too, knowing full well he wouldn't see anyone but still always looked anyway. “Who??”
“Oh I'll show you later! What size are you?”
“In rings?”
“No, your cock, Of course in rings!”
“Hey now- I never agreed to a cock ring, Wade. No.”
The serious tone and the way he pointed his finger at him made him laugh more, taking his hand as he kissed it. “We'll figure it out. Okay so after my shower, I'll call a guy I know. I think Forge would do a much better job but I feel like he'd say no.” He began rambling about how cute they would be and how excited he was, climbing off of his lap (finally) and started to walk off.
“W-wade!” He called, swallowing again, nervous to ask him to listen.
“What? You wanna come shower?”
“No- well.. maybe but..”
Again he waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, trying his best to be patient but it was hard not talking for 0.5 seconds.
“It's not that.. I don't like them. It's just.. I got those a long long time ago.. and I don't want to be the man those belonged to. Not anymore. And it's not that I don't think about rejoining all the time, it's just.. I want to live my life the way I want too. Charles always said that at the end, we'd get to live how we deserve. That's my time. My time is now. I want to sit on a porch somewhere out west and watch the horses graze. I wanna sit around doing nothing with Puppins in my arms. I want… I want to be with.. with you.”
He admitted, and for once Wade was the one speechless.
“I don't want you to visit. I want to live with you. But not here. I want to go somewhere quieter. Somewhere I can just be.. Logan..”
Putting a hand on his chest as he explained, he didn't see his smile move, not a smidge, watching as he bit his lip and covered his mouth trying to stay quiet until he was done.
“Of course I still want to help people though! Protect them from other worse people… I'm just tired of being someone's toy soldier all the time. I want to do what I think is right but.. also have time to listen to you sing when cooking and take Puppins to the dog park. I want to protect..Us.” Yeah. That felt right. Us. Both of them, all of them. Together. His family.
“B-besides.. If I became an X-men again I don't think I could do it. I could barely sleep back then thinking about all the screams.. the people I couldn't help. I don't think I would be able to get over the fact that I can't save everyone… But I definitely want to try to at least save a few people. Take care of them… all of them. Even if they don't think they need help.” He smiled a bit, taking a huge breath as the stress was relieved from his shoulders.
“Alright you can talk now because I'm never doing that ever again, that was super embarrassing.” He muttered, flushed as he looked down at his lap.
The second he gave him permission to speak, Wade screamed, a scream that made Logan's eyes widen and look at him with a slow blink. “....what was tha-”
Immediately he was pulled up from the bed, picked up and squeezed tightly as he jumped around. Grunting some, he held on tight, feeling a little nauseous. Sometimes it was easy to forget how strong he was.
Still screaming, Wade was extremely excited about all that was just said, Logan admitting that he wanted a serious future with him was a lot better news than he could have ever wished for.
“Put me down!... Wade!... I'm gonna throw up!” He said, whining that he was given uppies non consensually. Even he couldn't help but laugh though in response to his giggles. God that laugh was so annoying and yet his world would feel pointless without it.
Putting him down, Wilson grabs his cheeks, petting his beard. “Ooh Logan.. I don't need protection.. because I can't get pregnant. But if I ever find out that I can, I'll definitely hire you.” He jokes, causing more blushes as his hand comes up to Wades, nuzzling into it for a moment.
“You know what I mean…”
“I do. And while I won't stop you, how about you be your own soldier for a bit? Tell yourself how to live. Not anyone else. And i'll be behind you, wearing a shirt with your ugly mug on it, supporting you the whole way. Got it?”
“Aye! I'm not ugly!”
“No you are not! I've barely been home for 20 minutes and am already so wet. I haven't even taken a shower yet “ he mumbles casually as he begins walking away.
“Heh.. Hey…erm Wade?”
“Yes, love?” Just about to leave the room, he turns, smiling gently at how talkative his fiancé was.
Logan blushes more. “I uhm.. If I'm nobody's soldier… can your name be nobody?”
Wade looks confused at first, now it's his turn to figure out what he was saying.
“Cause.. if your name is nobody then i'd be.. nevermind.” Waving A hand, he glanced at his shoes, stuffing his hands in his pocket having just fumbled that line completely.
Within seconds, Wade was back in that room, giving him the sloppiest, deepest kiss that was available, kissing him all over.
“Oh Logie! You're so sweet! But leave the flirting to me, mkay? I don't need you throwing your back out trying too hard.” He pats his chest, grabbing his hand as Wade drug him by the wrist.
They both laugh as they enter the bathroom, closing the door with a click.
#nobody’s soldier#hoizer#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#hugh jackman#ryan renolds#logan howlett#wade wilson#established relationship#peanutbub#wolverpool#loganpool#deadclaws#logan howlett x wade wilson#deadpool x wolverine#the wolverine#worst wolverine#dog tags#fix it au#dogpool#mary puppins#deadpool#deadpool 3#xmen wolverine#wolvie#wolverine has PTSD#comic deadpool#colossus#negasonic teenage warhead#yukio deadpool
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Sleepytime Tea (Wade Talks in His Sleep) by dinosaurstars (T)
3636 words, 1/1 chapter
“I–I–” For once, Wade can’t think of anything to say. Shit. Logan’s eyes are barely visible in the near darkness, but Wade can feel his gaze nonetheless. It isn’t the piercing glare he’s usually graced with. Fuck. As the moment stretches on, there’s nothing to fill the silence but Wade’s breaths, the soft pants of wounded prey staring up at its soon-to-be killer. But Logan seems perfectly content to wait, and it’s only then that Wade realizes that Logan’s holding his hand. It makes his insides feel like they’re twisting into balloon animals in a not-fun way, and Wade thinks that six adamantium claws directly to the chest would be easier to take. His lungs already feel like they’re full of blood. Strapped down. Can’t move. Can’t breathe. His skin feels like it’s turning inside out. He can see his reflection in the glass of the hyperbaric chamber, can hear himself scream while he watches himself turn into a monster. Francis. Francis. “I was a mermaid in H20: Just Add Water and the condensation from my water bottle made me transform during my class trip to the beach.” The words tumble from Wade’s mouth like a waterfall. Finally.
author's tags: nightmares, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, wade is bad at feelings, wade has ptsd, protective logan, sexual tension
my tags: emotional hurt/comfort, nightmares, wade wilson has ptsd, protective logan, happy ending
review (light spoilers):
good morninggg it's been a long time. i have a whole list of recs to get to but this is one i read last night, because i woke up this morning still thinking of a line from this fic. it wasn't even really a line related to the general premise but god it blew me away. anyway!
this is one of those fics where one of them has a nightmare and is comforted. not a new plot by any means but beautifully written and characterised nonetheless! one of my favourite things about this fic is how much character is snuck into it just through a couple of words thrown into some lines, that just tell you so much about wade and logan in a way you could very easily miss. the author is also great at writing logan's instinctive (protective, animalistic) thoughts and wade's stream of consciousness dialogue. it just makes for such a good balance between angsty and entertaining
this isn't even an established relationship or getting together but that isn't always necessary for their dynamic to shine through, and this fic proves it. it's so tender and they find such comfort and relatability in each other that you are basically implicitly handed the certainty that it will all be ok.
favourite lines (also light spoilers):
He opens his mouth to do just that, but a trembling overtakes his body and shakes the words from him.
He casts his eyes to the heavens, expecting the dull ache when it makes him think of Kurt. (!!!!!!!!!! this fucking line oh my god)
read (and comment on!) the fic
masterpost
#all recs#leanne's recs#rec 6#1k–10k#teen and up#these reviews will be slightly shorter from now on maybe bc i have a lot to get to and not much time#but all the fics i recommend deserve their awards no matter what#and this one is SUCH a hidden gem i have no idea how it has less than 100 kudos#wade wilson has ptsd#protective logan#nightmares#emotional hurt/comfort#happy ending#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#wolverine#logan howlett#poolverine fanfic
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"Stuck"
There are rare occasions, about once every few months, where Logan will just seem stuck, frozen within himself. Wade will wake up, and Logan is just sitting on the edge of the bed. Still wearing his same clothes as the day before, as if he sat down to get ready for bed and then just powered down. Wade doesn't know what sets it off. There's never anything in particular that happens that causes Logan to do this. It just happens, as if the weight of everything he carries, physically, mentally, and emotionally, just all becomes too much at once. He won't make a single sound, won't respond to anything Wade does, and just stares. Wade will put out coffee for him, and it's left to become cold on the counter. After a few hours, Logan will leave the bedroom and aimlessly wander around the apartment like a ghost. Still a creature of habit, even when he's lost to his own internal fog, Wade will watch silently, as Logan follows the same pattern he does every time. He'll go to the front door, as if to leave, stare at it for a , proceeds to his chair. Sometimes he'll sit, sonetimes he won't. Today was no sitting, apparently. Wade wishes he could snap Logan out of this strange behavior. He doesn't understand it and honestly, Logan doesn't either. It's like he isn't even apart of what's happening. They gave up trying to talk about it a while ago, but it is something Wade considers a strong contender for getting Logan into therapy. He worries about one day Logan actually leaving the apartment in the detached state. He shudders at the thought of an emotionally detached Wolverine wandering the streets, completely unpredictable in his reactions to things. It hasn't happened yet at least. So, for now, Wade just keeps an eye on him and tells Logan about it after he comes back from it.
He sees Logan wander over to the window, standing in front of it for a few minutes before leaning against the wall and fixing his gaze outside. Wade breathes a little sign of relief, Logan will set up there for a few hours and then most likely move thru his process to the next stage that Wade can actually help with. Confident in Logan’s routine that he knows he can safety leave him for a bit, he gets dressed to head out on an errand to pick up something to help Logan move thru this. Mary Puppins walks up to him, expecting Wade to take her with him. Instead Wade tasked her with the very important job of watching over Logan. She was a Deadpool after all and while he had never experienced it, Wade was confident that she could rise up to any challenge if need be. With Puppins watching over Logan, Wade took off.
Returning about an hour later, Wade found Logan in the same exact place with Mary dutifully standing guard. After praising her and taking her out on a quick walk, Wade gave her a special dog treat he picked up on his outting and watched her toddle off to her bed now that her watch was over.
Sitting down at their kitchen table, Wade emptied out his bag of supplies and got to work. A few minutes later, he walked up to Logan, and he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. Still no reaction from Logan. Wade had gone thru this enough times by now that it no longer hurt his feelings when Logan was like this, but his heart did hurt for Logan. No one could break thru to Logan right now, but Wade could help Logan break thru in his own. Slipping a cigar sized joint and a lighter into Logan's chest pocket of his shirt, Wade gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek before going over to the couch to spark his own joint. Inhaling deeply, he blew it in Logan’s direction and waited. As if saying a code word, the scented smoke set Logan into his next step. Wade watched from the couch, continuing to fill the room full of Marijuana smoke. Logan’s nostrils flared, taking in the smoke. He sniffed the air a flew times, huffing it out in a puff of air. And something in him seemed to clear a bit. He turned towards the window leading to the fire escape, and crawled out. The first time he did this Wade thought he was gonna have to chase a hazy Wolverine thru the city. But Logan just crouched down, perching on one of the stairs and staring out over the city. He repeats this again, but now with something recently new. Once perched, Logan pulls the pot cigar from his pocket, lights it and smokes it straight. And as the herb works it's way into his system, Logan breathes a shuddering sign of relief and begins to cry. There's no sound, no heaving sobs or gasping of breath. It's just silent tears streaming down his cheeks. As long as he keeps smoking he can recieve this blessed effect of pure emotional release. His entire face, his facial hair is completely saturated with his tears and Logan continues to take deeps breaths of relief as he finally feels some actual release of the weighted burden constantly tethered to his heart. Neither one know why this is the reaction pot has on Logan, it was discovered on accident by the two of them. But both are happy in different ways for it.
Watching from inside, Wade can't see much beyond the glow of the cherry whenever Logan takes a drag. But he knows what the effect will be. Having finished his own joint, he gets uo and goes into the kitchen to start making them something for dinner. About thirty minutes later, a tear streaked Logan comes back inside. Seeing Wade in the kitchen upacking takeout, having decided that was better then him cooking, Logan comes up behind Wade and wraps him in a hug, rubbing his face against the back of Wade’s head and snuffing at his neck. Wade stops messing with the food, waiting til Logan's done as this is all part of the process. Logan continues to hold onto Wade, pressing his forehead down onto Wade’s shoulder until he felt wetness seeping into his shirt. And there it is, last stage.
Logan's grip loosened and Wade turned around to face him. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was tear streaked and his facial hair was a mess. Wade pulled him in gently and kissed his forehead before wiping away Logan's remaining tears and drying his chops with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"Are you hungry, Peanut?" Wade asked simply, smiling gently at Logan.
"..yeah", Logan said quietly.
Wade is always there to help pull Logan out whenever he gets stuck.
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#hugh jackman#wolverpool#logan james howlett#logan wolverine#wolverine and deadpool#the wolverine#ryan reynolds#deadpool#wade wilson#fanfiction#fanfic#complex ptsd#420#logan has alot of different trauma#logan howlett
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Anyone taking requests for Worst/DOFP!Logan?
I want someone to write a fic or headcanon about Logan (preferably the Worst or DOFP) in a relationship with a spoonie/Chronic (mental or physical) Illness reader/OC where they have limitations to what they can do and/or even pain days especially on bad weather days.
(More details below cut)
I want to see the reader having to explain shit to Logan about their mental and/or physical health. I
I want to see Logan realizing they have much to learn about himself too and this starts up questions that he has about his own mental and/or physical health with how it applies.
I want to see how Logan and the (non-healing-factor) reader have arguments and how they resolve them.
It doesn’t even have to be a sexual ending. Just want to read the real lifeness and dedication of the relationship and to each other. Do they do couple’s therapy to learn how to recognize and be able to address/understand each other’s emotional needs?
I want to see the reader help Logan through PTSD Nightmares. With his initial reaction being claws/attack/fight, how do they handle that so they don’t get injured, you know, especially the first time!?
I want to see Logan help the reader through a depression spiral and/or aftermath of self-harm and vice versa.
The reader could also be Wade/Deadpool too.
Tagging because I saw posts: @pleasantlycrazyworld
#trigger warning#fanfic request#logan howlett#wolverine#worst wolverine#dofp! logan#reader insert or headcanon#chronic illness spoonie#mental health#Logan has ptsd#dedication to each other#tw self harm or depression spiral#tw ptsd nightmare
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Baby, You're a Firework
Logan needed time to adjust to his new diemension, and Wade thought it was a great idea to take logan camping. Why not? Any wolverine loves the outdoors.
Too bad it was planned during the fourth of July weekend and Wade had almost forgotten he has a man that has 200 years of severe ptsd with him and Wade had talked logan into coming down to watch the fireworks with him.
It was a suttle thing at first. Barely even perceptable without his experience in body language and own personal trauma. After the first firework went off, Logan's shoulders migrated higher and higher towards his ears, eyes beginning to unfocus. Mind going to a different place, time and war. Hands beginning to tremble ever so slightly. Logan didn't hear Wade, let alone see him disappear or approach. But his scent never left him. Logan was ready to suffer silently and alone as to not inconvenience the man that planned the whole trip just for his comfort.
So Logan would stay quiet, he would be contained and he would be fine. Logan could recognize bullshit. Especially his own. He knew he was lying to himself.
Beginning to fall into his own mind, Logan barely registered the feel of his hair being touched on both sides of his head. But he noticed when the explosions stopped.
Head and hands snapped up to his ears, in shock of the sharp contrast of the blast to a quiet pop instead. Hands finding what felt like the ear protection found at a Gun range. Eyes locking onto Wade and Mary as he sat back down next to him, both with their own ear protection.
The cacophony fading and both men and dog sit calmly side by side with a sky filled with colourful sparks.
#wade logan and mary go camping#fireworks#ptsd#logan has ptsd#wade has ptsd#mary puppins just shakes#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool wolverine#worst logan is the sweetest logan#worst wolverine#i went camping and they had fireworks and let me tell you a lake makes the 100 times louder#logan has sensitive hearing#deadpool 3#slice of life#wade willson/logan#wade wilson/worst logan#wade wilson#wade/logan
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Jinx (or 5 times you mess things up in front of Logan and 1 time you don't) || Logan Howlett x Reader
summary: You bring bad luck and have all your life and when you meet Logan you expect him to react the same way everyone has. To your shock he doesn't. That doesn't stop you from making a fool of yourself in front of him though. Many. Many times.
warnings: flirty logan, swearing, reader has mutant fire powers, fighting, logan has ptsd in water, he lashes out bc of it, possible ooc but idc, fighting, injury, comfort, blood, explosions
wc: 5k
a/n: Okay so I fucking LOVE arcane and I thought about a fic where the reader is like Jinx in the sense of she just has really bad luck all the time. She also has fire powers because I think they're cool and after that one drabble I wanted to do more with it. This is my longest fic so I hope you like it!!!
The First meeting
You might be the first mutant with a nickname that is more of an insult than a call sign. It started when you arrived here. Just a teenager looking for a place to call home. The mansion was that home and you loved every second of it. Your fire wielding powers were dangerous but exciting and with the help of the teachers you sort of learned how to train them.
But for some reason you didn't get some cool fire nickname you got stuck with Jinx. It's not your fault that bad things just happen around you. Really. You don't do anything to cause them on purpose but the bad luck seems to just follow you where ever you go.
You got the nickname after you managed to break the fountain. Seriously though how can that be so fragile. All you did was kick a soccer ball and you might have taken its head off.
Bad things just seemed to happen over and over again. You might have set fire to some curtains. Or the carpet. Or smashed a vase or two.
Even when you graduated and became a teacher things just happened. Missing papers, breaking pencils, the ceiling caves in because a family of fat racoons decided to make their home there. Things that were out of your control just happened.
So they called you Jinx. Was it lovingly? Maybe.
No one has kicked you out yet so that's a good sign. They do tend to avoid standing too close to you though. Which honestly is for the best.
It was a commotion in the main lobby that catches your attention today. The sound of a gruff voice peaks your interest. Peering into the room you see Rogue and Storm talking to a man.
"It's good to see you Logan." Oh! Wolverine.
You missed his first stop by the mansion. You were off doing something else for Charles when he was brought here originally and you were supposed to fly back to help as usual. You flight got canceled due to weather. So by the time you came back he had already gone.
You heard Rouge gossiping with the other students about him. She mentioned he was handsome but fuck he was even better than you thought.
You lean forward a little more and end up losing your balance and falling flat on your face. The three of them look at you and you wave, trying to save yourself some embarrassment. You can see Logan looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
"Jinx! Come meet Logan." Rogue calls you over and you stand up. Brushing yourself off as you walk over.
"Nice to meet you Logan." You hold out your hand but he just looks at it.
"Jinx?" He says instead. A smirk on his face as he speaks.
"It's a nickname, don't you have one too Wolverine?" He chuckles and you have hope that you're charming enough. Most of the time something really unlucky happens when you meet someone for the first time.
"Will I see you around Jinx?" If you didn't know better you'd say he was flirting.
He steps closer to you and you stumble back in surprise. He's intimidating with his broad shoulders and animal like grin. You let out a small scream as you trip on your feet and fall backwards. Right into Scott. Scott falls like a domino and you hear a crack.
"Scott! Are you okay?!" You rush to his side but suddenly a beam of energy shoots through his eyes.
You feel someone grab your arm and pull you away from him. Ducking your head as the beam shoots into the door. Scott closes his eyes but the damage is already done. The front doors of the beautiful mansion were destroyed. Everyone waits in silence as Charles appears from his office holding an extra pair of glasses for Scott.
"I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you." Apologies tumble out of your mouth as Scott fixes his new glasses.
"Don't worry about it, It was an accident Jinx." He places a hand on your shoulder and smiles but you can tell you fucked up. Again. You smile back but it falls once he leaves.
"I'm sorry about your door Professor." You mumble as you look at the destruction.
"It's alright, we'll get it fixed." You slowly walk off, letting people asses the damage.
You pass by Logan who watches you as you slink back to your room. You had hoped that maybe you could have gotten to know Logan before he found out how you got your nickname.
So much for first impressions.
2. In the kitchen
The next time you encounter Logan is in the kitchen. Despite your inherent unluckiness you still loved to cook. Sure you had cuts and burns from all your attempts but your dishes ended up pretty good. You're making a stew this time. Band aids are already on some of your fingers as you stir the pot.
"Smells good." You let out a scream as you drop the spoon into the soup. The fridge opens up and you see Logan rummaging through the shelves.
"Beer's behind the peas." You mumble as you try and fish out the spoon.
"Ow!" You hiss as you burn yourself again.
The hot metal spoon burned your hand. Logan watches as you put your hand under the sink and put some cold water on it.
"Ironic I know, the mutant with fire powers burns herself when cooking." You mutter catching his amused look.
He walks over and takes your hand, pressing his cold beer to the small burn. You sigh as the cold drink sends relief through your hand. You get a better look at Logan like this.
He's just dressed in jeans and a tank top. His muscles are practically bulging through the already stretchy fabric. He's got this dangerous aura around him that makes you hesitant at first. Not to mention the whispers about him. How violent he could be, the things he’s done. Everything he’s been through. But you didn’t care.
"So is Jinx because your clumsy?" He asks as he checks on your burn.
"Kind of, more like unlucky things just seem to happen to me I guess." Your eyes are focused on where Logan's hand is holding your wrist.
His hands are rough but his touch feels so nice. His grip is firm but not enough to hurt you. The fact that he's even helping you is bizarre. Anyone else would just chalk it up to you and let you deal with it yourself.
"I'm surprised you haven't run for the hills yet. You know, the first day you meet me I end up destroying the door." To your surprise Logan laughs.
"Technically Scott destroyed the door." He counters.
"Yeah well I broke his glasses." You take your hand away from his beer and turn your attention back to the soup.
For some reason Logan doesn't leave. He watches you as you cook and you like the company. You tense as you feel him get closer to you. His chest almost against your back as he peers over your shoulder. He's so close. You take a wooden spoon this time and stir the soup. Lifting a little bit to your lips.
"Can I have a taste?" Logan asks.
You turn your head to find his face incredibly close to yours. Really close. So close that you can barely focus on anything other than his lips. You don't notice the burner getting more intense as all your focus is on Logan.
"Shit!" Logan hisses as the soup practically explodes all over the kitchen. Soup splatters every possible place including your clothes. Making a massive mess.
"Dammit!" You turn down the burner and see if there's anything left you can salvage but there's nothing. You must have caused the burner to go haywire.
"I'm sorry Logan." You say defeatedly as you wipe soup from your forehead. Logan takes his thumb and wipes the soup off your cheek.
"Tasty." He says as he licks his thumb. He doesn’t break eye contact. Enjoying the effect he’s having on you.
You stand with your mouth open as he walks off like he didn't just do that. The flames on the burner get bigger once again and you turn it off. You grab the roll of paper towels and start to clean.
The faint touch of Logan's thumb still on your mind.
3. In the garage
After your kitchen disaster you found yourself wandering the mansion instead. It had been a couple weeks but you decided to avoid the kitchen for now. Now you had too much free time on your hands. That's how you ended up here, in the garage. Except this time it was you who found Logan. He was working on his motorcycle. Shirtless. Okay that's totally normal right? You think to yourself as you sit and watch.
"When did you learn how to ride?" You ask as you watch him screw in something to somewhere, you don't know too much about motorcycles.
"Long time ago." He answers gruffly as he wipes his forehead with a rag.
"Like ten, twenty, a million years ago?" Logan chuckles and stands up. Your eyes trace the veins on his arms as he puts his hands on his hips.
"More like a hundred." He sits on his bike and turns it on. He's double checking everything and notices you looking in awe.
"You ever ridden before?" He asks and you shake your head.
"Alright then come here." He gestures for you to get on and you perk up. He gets off and holds the handle bars, letting you get on. You're extra careful. This bike looked expensive and Logan had just spent hours working on it. The last thing you wanted to do was jinx things. Again.
"Woah." You giggle as you run your hands along the smooth metal.
"So you put one foot here and the other stays on the floor." He guides you gently and you do as he says. You place your hands next to his on the handlebars.
"When I was a kid I this bike. It was purple with a basket in the front." You tell him. You loved that bike. Rode it whenever you could. You had the bruises to prove it from the amount of times you fell off.
"I rode it into a bush once. Got these bumps all over my skin." Logan takes his hands off the bike leaving just you holding it up.
"Well it's no purple bike, but I can take you on a ride one day. There's this diner about twenty minute away if you’re interested.” He offers. You grin and tighten your grip on the handles.
"Sounds like you're asking me on a date." You say boldly.
Before Logan could say anything there's a loud bang. Backfire from something but it scares the hell out of you. Without thinking you heat up the bike and jump off of it. Logan tries to grab it but the handles burn his hand. You watch in horror as it falls on its side. You try to stop it but it only ends up landing on your foot.
"Fuck!" You grab your foot as pain shoots through your body. That thing is heavy. Logan clutches his hand for a second before the burn heals. He picks up the bike and kicks the stand open so it can stay up on its own. Your eyes brim with tears when you see the dirty and scratches that have ruined the newly cleaned shiny metal.
"Logan I'm so sorry." He sighs and walks over to you.
"Your foot okay?" It hurts but it's not broken. You try to set it down but you can't. The pain is too much. You try to hide it but he sees right through you.
"Let's get you to the lab." You try to protest but he doesn't listen. Helping you out of the garage and to the lab. Ignoring the fact that you just caused him even more trouble. As you get patched up he leaves. You hang your head low as you think of a way to make it up to him.
Later that night Logan can't sleep. The nightmares don’t let him. So he makes his way back down to the garage. He needs to start over on fixing his bike anyways. As he approaches the door be notices the lights already on. To his surprise he finds you there. Fast asleep with your head on a chair.
You're body is uncomfortably kneeling on the ground. Your foot is wrapped and there's crutches leaning against the wall. There's rags and wax sitting by your side and his bike looks brand new. He kneels down and shakes you awake.
"Hey there sweetheart." He says as you open your eyes.
You mumble something incoherent and shut your eyes. Logan bends down and picks you up in his arms. He carries you back to your bed laying a blanket over you as you melt into your pillows. He elevates your foot before he leaves. People may call you a Jinx but you've got a heart of gold. He goes back to the garage and cleans up everything, making a mental note to take you on that date when you're foot is better.
4. Ice Skating
It took a month for your foot to finally heal up. Broken no, fractured, yes. It was a pain trying to get around on crutches but Logan ended being your own personal transportation. He would help you get down the stairs, reach the high shelf, drive you to the store. Whatever you needed he was there.
He even took you to that diner. Sharing a milkshake and cheese fries. He looked past your nickname, sure he called you Jinx but when he did it felt sweeter. He had seen your unluckiness first hand and yet he still chooses to be by your side. It was all you ever wanted.
Sure you had friends at the mansion but you could tell they thought of you as a small burden, a nuisance. They were still kind to you but you always saw their faces when something went wrong. With Logan there was none of that. He embraced every part of you. Now with your foot all healed and the winter starting to settle over the mansion you were all clear for winter activities.
Your favorite one being ice skating. A large pond was the perfect place for you and some of the kids to go. Logan had tagged along but only did so because you begged him to go. Pretty please with a cherry on top was enough to get him to chaperone.
You skated along with some of the kids. Others had set up an ice hockey game. It was pure childhood joy. Something that these kids didn't get all the time. Logan was sitting on a bench by the edge of the pond just watching. You skated over and put your hands on your hips.
"Come on Logan, you can't just come to the lake and not skate." You whine. He raises an eyebrow and stays put on that bench.
"I don't do skating sweetheart, or lakes."
"Ten minutes, just ten minutes and I'll leave you alone." You pout and clasp your hands together. He stares at you for a moment before relenting.
"Fine." You let out a happy cheer as he laces up the pair of skates you got for him. You hold out your hands as Logan struggles to balance on the skates.
"See, you're a natural." Logan wobbles and lets out a string of curses as he tries to walk on ice.
"Shut up." He says with no bite in his voice.
Your fingers interlock with his hand as you start slow. This was hell for Logan but seeing your smile made it worth it. You skate around the lake with him, laughing when he glares at the kids who laugh at him. Seeing him so out of his element was funny.
"Okay that's it I'm done." He grunts out as you come to a stop near the middle of the lake.
"Thank you for trying." You know he's not really having fun but it meant a lot he was willing to even get on the ice for you.
"Teacher! Jinx!" A loud cry comes from the kids. You gasp as you notice the ice starting to crack. You made sure the ice was thick enough. You triple checked how could this be happening. You see Logan start to panic so you take action.
"Everyone stay calm!" You yell out.
"If you can make it off now then do it. If you're too far away then I need you to get on your stomach and spread your legs out. Then slowly crawl to the edge. Anyone who is off the lake help pull others to safety." You stay as calm as you can as you make sure everyone is safe. To your relief the ice stays intact as the kids make it off. Now it's just you and Logan. There's fear in his eyes as the cracking gets louder.
"We need to do the same thing Logan. It's going to be okay." The two of you get onto your stomachs and army crawl towards the edge. A student with super speed has already gone to get help thank goodness.
"Fuck." Logan panics as the ice starts to give way. You grab his hand as he starts to freeze.
"It's okay it's okay." You're close to the edge but not close enough.
You yelp as the ice breaks and both of you plunge into the water. You try to keep your grip onto Logan but he's sinking fast. The water is bringing back horrible, horrible memories as he struggles to breathe. Your head barely bobs above the surface as you see familiar faces running towards you.
Water fills your lungs as you scream when Logan's claws nick your arm. He plunges them into the dirt. Trying to pull himself up and out. Your body is becoming numb and every movement hurts. A pair of hands drag you out of the water. You cough violently as you grip onto the frozen grass. Trying to catch your breath. Logan's eyes are wide as he does the same.
"Are you okay?" You reach out to him but he snaps.
"Don't touch me!" He snarls and your heart plummets. His eyes are unfamiliar as his teeth bare like an animal. For the first time since you've met him he's angry with you. Really fucking angry.
"I'm sorry I..."
"I'm sorry Logan, I didn't mean to scratch your bike, I didn't mean to explode the fucking soup. Is that all you can say?!" He shoves off the people trying to help and stands up. His face cold and unforgiving as he looks down on your shivering body.
"You really are a fucking Jinx." You let out a sob as Logan walks away.
A fluffy blanket feels like ice against your skin as you're ushered back to the mansion. You hear Storm trying to talk to you but everything sounds like white noise. Your heart is stomped and crushed right in front of your eyes and you can't even blame him.
You're nothing but bad luck.
5. On a mission
There's no more accidents around the mansion anymore. Probably because you've locked yourself away since the ice skating incident. With the school on a break you didn't need to teach so all you did was stay in your room. Only leaving in the dead of night.
You just couldn't face the mansion anymore. You were embarrassed, upset, and heartbroken. Logan was supposed to be different. You wanted things to be different with him but apparently the universe decided you can have nothing good. It was only a matter of time before he saw the truth. His words repeat in your head over and over.
The anger, the fear. You caused that. Students and teachers alike would stop by your door but no one could get you out of your room. Sometimes you swear you hear the sound of his boots outside of your door. But he just stands there and then he leaves.
You can't cause any more problems if you stay here. Only issues for yourself and that's okay. Professor Xavier would pop into your head every now and then just to check up on you but this time what he needed was urgent.
The moment you walked through his office doors you could feel everyone's eyes on you. Especially a certain someone's who’s brooding in the corner of the room. Even with everyone here he's just overwhelming. You keep yours forward, not sparing a glance to him or to anyone.
"Thank you for joining us." Charles smiles warmly.
Apparently there's a mission and they need your help. Why they would send you out there you don't know. The targets had a fire mutant too and the best way to fight fire is with, well with more fire. The moment you stepped on the jet you could feel the nerves.
Everyone was worried something would go wrong with you around. Keeping your eyes glued to the ground you take a seat as far away from everyone as possible. Counting your fingers over and over as you wait to land. Someone makes there way over to you, their boots are oh so familiar.
"Hey." You look up to see Logan. He's holding onto the seat next to you for dear life.
"Don't worry I'm not gonna touch anything." You mumble as you try and somehow make yourself smaller.
"Listen I just wanted to talk." The plane jolts and Logan slams his fist against the wall. He freezes up again, fear creeping up onto his face. Just like on that frozen lake.
"We're hitting some turbulence. Logan you need to sit down." Scott commands.
Logan's lips turn into a growl but he sits down anyway. His hands clutching the armrests of the chair. Apart of you wants to go and comfort him but you would probably just make things worse. So you close your eyes and wait for it to be over. The turbulence calms and eventually the jet lands with everything and everyone unharmed.
The goal was to shutdown a group of mutant hunters and rescue their victims. The worst part was they had mutants on their side too. Good money you guessed. It shouldn't be too hard of a mission but knowing yourself anything could go wrong. You followed the team in, fighting with everything you had.
Logan had stuck by your side since you got here. Keeping his distance but always watching you. His super senses and metal claws made him their number one target. Suppress the Wolverine. They were no match for him though. But Logan's focus seemed to wane as they sent more people after him. A mutant who could make copies of himself did their best to confuse and take Logan down.
"Watch out!" You shout and Logan dodges another attack.
However you get shoved to the ground before you can say anything else. You send a blast of fire at your attacker but they wave it off. So this is the other mutant. The two of you become locked in combat. Fire meeting fire with no clear winner. It isn't until Jean’s voice shouts through your comms that you find the upper hand. They had found the kids and were bringing them back to the ship. It was a losing battle and you think the hunters were staring to realize that. Calling for a retreat.
You can't let them get away. If they get away then all of this is for nothing. They'll rebuild, they'll hurt more people. You notice a gas tank nearby by their vehicle. You were always good at making things explode. Usually on accident but fuck it, might as well try on purpose now.
"Get to safety and get out of here!" You run past the team as you chase after the retreating foes.
"Where the hell are you going?!" Logan calls as he helps a kid get onto the jet.
You ignore him, running as fast as you can. Just one big blast should get that thing exploding. God this was so stupid but its the only thing you can think of. You fucked up the door, you made a mess of the kitchen, you hurt Logan. All you do is ruin things. You're a Jinx and for once you can try and do something good. Even if it kills you.
As the car starts to drive past you channel all your power and launch it at the gas tank. For a second its like everything is in slow motion. You hear Logan roar, turning back only to see him running towards you. Suddenly everything gets really hot and then.
Nothing.
In the medbay
The first thing you feel when you can finally feel things again was how uncomfortable you were. An itchy blanket, itchy arms. Your back hurt and your head was killing you. When you opened your eyes all you see are the bandages wrapped around your arms and legs.
There were cards and flowers sitting on your bedside table and to your left was Logan. He's got his feet up on your bed and he was squished into a chair. His head bowed and his arms crossed. You try to sit up but start to wheeze. The heart monitor starts to beep wildly and Logan jolts awake.
"Sit back down." He pushes you back onto the bed and you try and breathe. After a little bit your heart rate steadies and Logan seems to calm down.
"What happened?" You ask and Logan clenches his jaw.
"You blew yourself up that's what fucking happened." Your memories were slowly getting pieced together.
"I blew up the gas tank. I wanted to stop them from escaping." You say as you recount what led you to the hospital bed.
"Well you stopped them and then almost killed yourself in the process. You had severe burns, a concussion, you were bleeding everywhere. I picked you up in my arms and you were coated in blood." He growls.
The words I'm sorry almost fall out of your mouth but you remember what Logan said that day on the lake. If you're being honest you aren't sorry either. You did what you thought you had to do.
"I'm a Jinx Logan. You said it yourself. I used my destruction to help this time." Logan winces when you remind him of his harsh words.
He wasn't in the right state of mind when he said them. Flashbacks of drowning, of the pain he went through. Being submerged in water and sinking were usually the scenes of his nightmares and for it to happen in real life. It was awful. But that doesn't change the fact he lashed out, he hurt you.
"I was wrong. I shouldn't have said that." Logan gently brushes the bandages on your arms. The scar from when he cut your arm in the lake peeks out from your bandages. He let his fear get the best of him in the water.
"I've hurt a lot of people, sometimes on purpose. Sometimes on accident.” His eyes never leaving your scar. “You’re not a Jinx. You’re perfect.”
"I still make a mess." Logan cups your face and studies a stitched up wound on your forehead.
God when that gas tank exploded. Even he was blown back by the force. He ran to your still body. Ash and pieces of metal were scattered across the field. You're lucky you didn't get fucking impaled. Your body was limp. Dirt and blood caked your face so much that he couldn't tell where you were hurt.
He carried you back to the jet, your blood staining his suit as he laid you down. He listened for your heartbeat for a second he swore it stopped. The longest second of his life as he waited to hear that soft beating.
"Why are you still here?" You just don't understand. How he can be sitting here after everything you've done. All the problems you caused.
"A little mess isn't gonna scare me sweetheart, I like your mess. I like you." He tilts your chin up and kisses you. You're taken by surprise but it's certainly welcome as your eyes flutter closed.
The heart rate monitor starts to beep faster as Logan leans over you. Your fingers rake through his hair as you pull him closer. Logan's grip tightens on the hospital bed railing. He's too lost in the taste of your lips to notice. You tug on his hair and his claws shoot out, cutting one of your IV wires.
A loud beeping blares through the room as Logan jumps back from you. You cover your mouth and laugh. Not even in your sweetest moments can you catch a break. Logan sheaths his claws and shakes his head in disbelief, joining in your laughter.
Jean rushes in with a panicked look on your face. It morphs into confusion when she sees the two of you laughing as your IV drips to the ground. She quickly fixes your IV and gives both of you a scolding for not letting anyone know you were awake.
"Keep your hands and claws to yourself. I'll be back later Jinx." She eyes Logan who puts his hands up. Smirking at you as she leaves.
"You know we could call you something else." Logan suggests. You think for a while before shaking your head.
"I think I like it." It reminds you of your faults yes but this has something that's followed you for the longest time.
You supposedly bring bad luck but you can try and counteract it every day by doing something nice. Plus maybe with Logan your luck might turn around. Maybe. As long as you steer clear of any lakes.
"Alright, but I think sweetheart has a nice ring to it." He says with a grin.
"Oh you want everyone to call me sweetheart?" You tease. Logan leans over and kisses you again.
"No. Only I get to call you that." Bad luck you may bring but Logan doesn't care.
You're a Jinx but you're his jinx and he loves every part of you. The good and the bad. So what's a little bad luck? If it means he gets to be yours then he'd happily be your lucky charm for the rest of your lives.
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Idk what to say other than the fact that Logan choosing to stay with Wade is a big fucking deal.
Logan -- THE Wolverine -- has been portrayed on the big screen as the loner, the bad boy, the sole survivor for over 20 goddamn years. If you've watched any of his films, you'd know he is a short-tempered, guarded person who either pushes people away or pulls himself out of people's lives. He doesn't like others to get close to him or get to know him.
Even with the XMen, the people he regards as family, he makes sure they don't get too close. Because he's afraid of losing them. Because he's so ashamed of the monster he thinks he is. Because he knows his PTSD can make him violent, and he doesn't want to take out his anger on people he cares about.
The fact that Logan chooses to stay with Wade is insane because it shows such a growth of character AND it makes narrative sense. It shows that he not only accepts himself for who he is, but finally there's someone else who does too. It shows he's ready to not be alone anymore because Wade is someone he can't lose or scare away.
How can you lose someone if they're essentially immortal and can handle themselves in battle? How do you scare someone away with your violent tendencies (via accident or self-sabotage) when they're just as, or even MORE, violent than you are? How do you stay afraid of your past, when they basically have the same evil science experiment origin story as you do?
So yeah, Logan choosing to stay with Wade is a big fucking deal because this is the one time he allowed himself to be selfish and pick a home instead of a nomadic life or one of isolation. He had the Big Hero Moment of sacrificing himself to save Wade and his universe. And when it not only worked, but they didn't have to DIE for it to work, he didn't walk away this time around after the finale.
He just needed Wade to say he wanted him first, and that's all it took for him to go home. No fight or fuss. No push or pull. Just a silent agreement as they walk back to the apartmemt:
"Yes, of course I'll follow you."
#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#logan howlett#wade wilson#poolverine#my post#my writing#character essay
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Nightly Misery
Logan Howlett x reader
Summary: In the wake of another major nightmare, Logan is always grateful to have you by his side.
Word Count: 578
Warning(s): SLIGHT ANGST, MEGA FLUFF, mentions of PTSD, established relationship, brief descriptions of injuries, the reader being a sweetheart, and Logan being protective.
A/N: Welp, my hyper fixation for Hugh Jackman has come back. …As did my love for Wolverine. Feedback is appreciated and enjoy!
Rustling in the softness of your shared bed, Logan’s warmth poured over every square inch over the quaint space. Shifting endlessly underneath the thin bedding, a thick layer of sweat covers his skin and the sheets that surround him. The faint sound of crickets beyond the windows do their best to provide some sense of comfort, but it seems that nothing’s working. Not even the faint beams of moonlight could calm the man’s restlessness.
“Logan, Logan…” You speak quietly.
Gently rubbing Logan’s shoulders, he continues to heavily toss and turn in his sleep. Beads of sweat trickle down his temples just as his mumbling grows louder.
“No… NO!” He shouts.
Suddenly, Logan’s body jolts awake, and he sits up. Yelling from his dream, he gasps for air before ultimately gaining his bearings.
He’s here, in the large comfortable master bedroom that he calls home. Logan’s chest rises and falls and his breathing returns to normal as his hazel eyes scan the dark room. Finding that everything is in its proper place, his light orbs find yours opposite him.
“Baby?” He whispers in the dark.
Silently reaching for you, the sight of his bone claws cause a gasp to leave his chapped lips. Retracting the claws, his brief moment of pain subsides, and a minuscule ring of tears begin to form in his eyes.
“It’s okay. Everything’s okay, you just had a bad dream, Logan.” You say before traveling to the bathroom.
Retuning moments later, you join Logan’s side, and wipe the sweat from his face with a damp washcloth. Exhaling at the cool cloth, Logan wraps his arms around your waist.
“That’s nice.” He chuckles.
“I thought it might help. You’ve been doing this too much.” You reply with a smile.
“Can’t help it, bub. The wars, I- I can’t. They still…” Logan tries to explain, but fails silent.
“Hey, it’s alright. Don’t let them control you. You’ve done so well lately, don’t let this be the end of all the progress you’ve made.” You say, running your fingers through Logan’s thick dark hair.
Calming stroking his scruff, Logan’s eyelids grow heavy from your soothing touch. However, your therapeutic abilities only work for a short while before his eyes make contact with a series of three small scars on the base of your forearm.
“Jesus Christ. Y/N, I…” Logan begins, but you cut him off.
“I’m fine, babe. It’s just a scratch. I promise, you didn’t mean it.” You explain, stroking his cheeks.
Pulling you into him, Logan lays down with you in his arms. Letting go of a sigh of relief, you can feel Logan’s muscles start to relax beneath your fingertips. Turning to face you, Logan cradles you in his muscular arms, pulling you closer to his broad chest. Placing a soft kiss to your forehead, Logan's fingers lightly grip the hem of your sleep shirt, fearful of hurting you over again.
Facing you, his eyes grow weary whilst he touches the tip of your nose with his own. Tangling your hair in his fingers, he inhales deeply, longing for the taste of your scent on his tongue.
"I know I don't say this often, but I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Y/N. Not just here, in Canada, in our own private life. But you make me realize the true importance that life isn't always so bad." He vows through whispers with a rare, yet happy smile taking over his lips.
tagging ~
@dreamliners
@miss1sarcasmo
@yellow-eyed-sams-wife
@lost-in-horrorland
@peterparkernotfound
@pcrushinnerd
#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett oneshot#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett fic#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett angst#x men#x men movies#wolverine xmen#wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine angst#hugh jackman#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x reader
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Like A Prayer (Part 4)
summary: best friends with wade you’re always being dragged into something even when he’s not trying to, what are you to do when you find the fate of your timeline in the hands of yourself, your chaotic merc and an angry wolverine who’s hellbent on drinking himself to death?
content warning: romance, some angst, a little fluff, character deaths, canon-typical violence, smut, lots of cussing, mutual pining, found family, drug and alcohol use, reader insert but with no use of y/n cuz I hate that shit, deadpool being deadpool, mentions of poor mental health (depression anxiety and ptsd mostly), scent marking, the honda odyssey scene needs a warning all on its own MINORS DNI
a/n: edited by the ever so lovely karmiccc on ao3! Comments and criticisms are welcome!
tag list: sorry if you weren’t tagged I tried tagging everyone that asked but some usernames didn’t work! @allmyn1ghts @blooket-scares-me @amararosesblog @talanyra @spideybv28 @sadslasher13 @night-spectrum @eveieforeve02
Previous Chapter//Next Chapter
On Your Left Babygirl
Wade watches from the corner of his eye as your feet drag behind you, the now limp Wolverine was pressing his full mass into the two of you, and you were clearly struggling with the newly added weight.
“One Anchor Being coming right up, on your left, baby girl!”
“This Logan has everything! He can do pretty much anything the old model could plus he even sings musicals! And he’s actually wearing a costume like he’s not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once!”
“I don’t understand.”
“You said my universe is dying, because this sad sack of nuts got himself killed. Well, problem solved!”
“Y-you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?” Paradox says between laughs pointing at Wolverine still on the floor. “I wouldn’t have accepted any other Wolverine bee tee dubs, but you’ve brought me the absolute worst Wolverine there is!
“What do you mean the worst one?” Wade asked, walking closer to Paradox.
Just as Wade was less than an arm’s length away from Paradox, you saw the off brand Mr. Darcy reachout and grab something behind his back. You jump forward placing yourself in between the two men just as Paradox drew his weapon.
“Wade watch-!” You don’t get to finish your sentence as Wade watches in absolute horror as you disintegrate into nothing in front of him.
Wade falls to his knees as if trying to catch your particles that were still floating about in the air before disappearing entirely.
The distinct snikt of Wolverine unleashing his claws breaks Wade out of his trance as he watches the Wolverine, now back on his feet, lunge for Paradox with his claws in pure rage before disappearing too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Logan groans as he sits up, cracking his neck back into place. He raises a hand to shield his face from the harsh rays of the sun above him as he lets out a sharp hiss from the incoming headache he was starting to get from the combination of the fall and all the alcohol he drank earlier.
Barely starting to sober up, he looks around himself with a grunt as he stands, taking in the environment around himself.
If he had to guess he’d had no idea where the fuck he was. The scene around him was dry and arid like a desert, only this one didn’t seem familiar to him at all. There was all kinds of trash and debris around him like it had been dumped here and forgotten. Taking in a few greedy inhales, Logan scented the air, coming back with only faint traces of smoke, dirt and something else, something sweet and fresh and familiar but still different at the same time.
Turning his head to follow the source of the smell Logan spots you, laid out face first on the ground. He walks up to you apprehensively, not knowing if he could trust you or not but as he approaches he realizes you’re out cold.
Getting a closer look at you now he’s able to take in your features up close. If you were a shapeshifter of some kind like he previously thought, you were a hell of a good one. At first glance you looked just like her, the same hair and big doe eyes that used to look up at him. You were even dressed the same way.
Squatting down to your level Logan’s able to get a much better whiff of you from here. There’s no mistaking a scent, even when Morph and Mystique used to try and trick him back in the day but it never worked because they could never change their smell.
There was no doubt about it, the smell was definitely yours. Shamefully Logan found his eyes wandering down your frame slowly as he drank you in, eyes lingering on your ass for a few seconds before turning you over onto your back, and God, even your face was the same. The longer he looked at you the more he realized you really were her. Only, you had less pronounced smile lines, and were less muscular, having probably only known peace in your life, you had appeared more softer than she had been. Just as his gloved hand was a breath away from caressing your cheek, he’s ripped from his inspection by the sound of something heavy hitting the ground behind him.
Standing to his feet, he looks back at you one last time before looking at the disfigured body of the guy in red from before as his bones snap back into place. He sniffs the air again, realizing the man that had just fallen from the sky. He smelled absolutely rancid to him, stinking of blood, gunpowder and a distinct sickly cancerous smell.
Definitely a threat. Logan concludes as he starts to walk up to him.
Wade coughs as he rolls over onto his back, looking down between his legs as Wolverine walked up to him, stopping right as his feet, “Don’t just stand there, you big ape. Give me a hand!”
Wolverine stared down at him, his hazel eyes swirling with contempt and silent fury as he unsheathed his claws.
“No, I’m actually okay, thank you,” Wade barely finishes his sentence before he’s being stabbed through both his sides, letting out a sharp curse as Logan hoists him in the air like a kebab.
“Where the hell are we?!” He demands.
“I don’t know! It all looks kinda Mad Maxy but that would be copyright infringement, wouldn’t it?!” Wade cries out as Wolverine harshly drops him to the ground.
“Fucking jokes,” Logan scoffs before turning his back to him, walking towards your still unconscious form.
“Hey hey! You stay away from my pookie bear, you hear me?” Wade warns as he cocks his gun pointing it at the back of Wolverine’s head.
“Or what?” He dared the man to continue.
Wade lowers his gun as he realizes how fast the situation was starting to escalate, his eyes dart back and forth between you and the very ready to rip his guts out Wolverine before he curses to himself. After putting his gun away, Wade raises his hands up in the air as a way to appease Logan as he began to warily approach him.
“Look, we don't have time for this alright? If we don’t make it back to that Paradox asshole. Everyone I know is going to die,” Wade starts to explain the situation to him but Logan rolls his eyes as he turns back around, continuing to walk towards you.
“No, my fucking problem,” Logan replies coldly as he waves him off.
Wade felt his blood boil. He was never a patient man, nor a very nice one, but compared to this guy? He was a fucking saint. It was an insult to everyone that his Anchor being replacement had to be such a dick.
“Is that what you said when your world went to shit?” Wade shoots back to Wolverine, stopping him in his tracks again.
“Come again?” Logan growls, turning back to face him.
“Yeah, I heard all about you.” Wade began as he turned around, becoming increasingly exasperated by the situation at hand, ”You screwed up everything, but you really should be thanking me for pulling you out of that bed you shit-“
Wade let out a scream as searing pain shot through his body. Looking down he sees the infamous adamantium claws of Wolverine protruding through his chest.
“Oh, you backstabbing son of a bitch!” Wade grunts in agony as he’s hoisted in the air again, this time on his back.
Fighting back against the pain, Wade uses his own momentum to flip himself behind Wolverine, throwing them both onto their backs on the ground, the blades of the Wolverine’s claws tearing more of his flesh and bone on their way out as he did so. Without missing a beat Wade pressed his guns against Wolverine’s sides and shot out several rounds as the older man let out a guttural scream of pain.
“Are you ready to be calm now?” Wade asks almost mockingly, guns still pressed to Wolverine’s ribs.
He’s met immediately with a headbutt, no doubt breaking his nose underneath the mask.
“Fuck!” Wade swears in pain as Wolverine rolls off him.
Not giving Wade any time to gather his bearings, the older mutant grabs him by his ankles before throwing him into a wall. Wade heard the bones in his arm snap as he crashed through the cement wall, tumbling backwards against a sunken monument that seemed familiar to him. Wade groaned as he stumbled back up to his feet, his arm snapped back into place painfully as he reloaded his gun.
“I don’t want to fight you, Peanut! Doesn’t matter what you did. I just need your help.” Wade called over to Wolverine as he stood across from him in the wasteland.
“I don’t fucking care,” Logan snaps back as he spits out a smoking bullet, the rest falling from his torso, his healing factor working over time to push them out.
“Fuck, this is gonna hurt,” Wade says more so to himself than anyone else, “Alright! Fuck it! Let’s give the people what they came for!”
“Let’s fucking go,” Logan says as he crouches down to his knees, readying himself for whatever Wade was about to throw at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You take a sharp much needed inhale through your nose as the final bone in your spine snaps back into place. Sputtering out a cough you sat up bltrying to block out the blinding light of the sun with your hand as a headache pulsed through your skull. Looking around you slowly take in the dilapidated scenery around you.
Where the hell were you? You thought to yourself as you looked down at your watch to check the time.
The screen was broken, a crack having spiderwebbed across the screen. You weren’t exactly sure when it had broken but from what you could tell from when it had stopped working it was well beyond midnight.
“Oh I’m so fucking fired tomorrow,” You say with a groan as you rise to your feet dusting yourself off.
The sound of shouting and rapid gunfire drew your attention in the distance. Approaching the sound as cautiously as you could, you peek over a mound of rubble to find Wade being held down by an enraged Wolverine with Wade’s katanas and baby knife sticking out of him, reminding you of a human pin cushion.
“Let’s see you grow your fucking head back!” He shouts as he goes to sink his claws into Wade’s throat.
Picking up the first thing you see laying around you run up behind the Wolverine hitting him in the head as hard as you could, breaking the branch in your hands on impact. With a heavy grunt, he stumbles off of Wade onto the ground.The Wolverine clutches his ear as he snaps his head up to glare at his assailant. The rage in his eyes shifts to shock as you stand over wade protectively, glaring down at him with your broken branch raised high and at the ready for you to swing at him again if need be.
Snapping out of his daze, Wolverine gets to his feet and with his claws sheathed going to strike the red suited clown again, when hastily Wade rises to his feet, immediately moving you behind him with his hands raised up in surrender.
“Wait, wait, I can fix it! I know how to fix it!” Wade shouted at the Wolverine not willing to put you or himself in the Wolverine’s wraith.
“Fix what?” Wolverine asks has he slowly starts to lower his fist as he looks back and forth between you two.
“Whatever it is that you did that made you so bad! Those freaks in the TVA, they have the power to end our universe, but they can also change yours!” Wade says pushing you further behind him, not liking how the man was eyeing you.
Logan looks between the two of you incredulously as if trying to understand if what Wade just told him was true or not.
“Well?” He asks gruffly, eyes now completely focused on you.
Realizing he was talking to you and that your answer might be his deciding factor on whether or not to help you, you take a deep breath as you walk out from behind Wade who looks at you skeptically for a moment.
“We just traveled the multiverse trying to find you because of the TVA,” You began with a surprised chuckle still reeling in that fact that you actually did do that as you returned Logan's intense gaze,“Until today I didn’t think any of this kinda stuff was possible… But it is so I believe him,” You said exchanging a look with Wade as you finish, he nods his head to you almost in thanks.
Logan stares at you a bit longer before letting out a frustrated huff as he looks away, sheathing his claws. You nearly let out a beath of relief at the sight until the older man resumed his attention on you two again. The Wolverine looked back and forth between the two of you as he felt his nerves starting to grate again.
“How the fuck do you know this clown?” Logan asks annoyed, his fists were down at his sides but still balled up ready to fight again if he needed to.
Peeking over Wade’s shoulder, you part your lips about to answer him when suddenly you're cut off by a new voice.
“Hey! We fight each other, we lose,” Said a voice from above you all.
Puzzled, you all look up in the direction the voice came from.
“Who the hell is that?” You asked scrunching your face up in confusion as you use a hand to block out the harsh rays of the sun from your vision.
“Dear God its him…” Wade said, astonished.
“Who?” You asked as you and Wolverine share a confused glance.
Above you, on a worn down billboard, stood a man. He was covered in loose fitting dark clothes with a hood draped over him, blocking his face from view.
“That my little chocolate drop is the One. The superhero equivalent to comfort food or molly. White guys’ answer to all the disappointments in another A-lister,” Wade went on rambling as the cloaked man jumped down and landed before the three of you.
“Now that’s a superhero landing!” Wade clapped as the cloaked man turned to point out into the desert
“They're coming,” The man said.
Alarmed, you all look in the direction of his focus. On the horizon you all could see three cars speeding towards you, all three of the giving off serious Mad Max vibes.
“Well they’re definitely driving angry,” Wade joked, though you could tell by the drop in his voice that he was assessing the entire situation very much aware of the danger you two were about to be in.
“I got this,” The cloaked man said pulling down his hood to reveal a familiar face, “Stay close.”
“Aye aye, Cap,” Wade says walking up behind him to wrap his arms around the man before he pulls them off of him awkwardly.
As the cars neared they circled around the four of you a few times, some of the men blew out crude whistles making you cringe in disgust as you clutched your broken branch to your chest. Finally they stopped, their vehicles parked around you, caging you four in.
“Cassandra is going to be giddy when she sees what we caught!” A man with stringy greasy hair grins, showing off his filthy teeth to the group, “You know you can’t run.”
“You see anyone running, dick for brains? You’re not gonna love what happens next,” The cloaked man retorted.
“Oh my god, he’s going to say it!” Wade says smacking one of his katana’s that still protruded from the Wolverine’s chest.
Logan stumbled back a bit with a weak ‘ah fuck’ as you instinctively reached out to steady him. He turned his head to look at you as soon as he felt your hands on him. You held his eyes for less than a second before abruptly removing yourself from him, now focusing on looking at anything else but him.
“Avengers Assem-!” Wade begins to shout as if anticipating what the cloaked man was about to say, however that’s not what he said at all.
“Flame on!”
“Sorry, what now?”
The cloaked man shot out into the sky in a ball of fire. He hovered over everyone for a moment before blasting out a stream of fire directly at the greasy man that had spoken before. The greasy man grins as he holds his hand out, absorbing the flames before he twists his fingers cutting off the cloaked man’s power like a faucet. The man barely had a second to register what happened before he began his miserable descent from the sky. He hit the billboard he was standing on before twice before flopping on the ground, completely unconscious.
“We don’t know that guy,” the Wolverine was quick to say.
“We thought we did,” Wade agreed as he looked over the unconscious man before turning back to the group of thugs.
“Oh but I know you,” A beastly looking man with pitch black eyes said as he dropped down to their level from atop a car.
His dark orbs were fixated on Wolverine, who returned his glare with his own as he bared his teeth at him with a growl.
“Holy shit… Sabretooth… your brother,” Wade said, a hint of excitement in his voice as he looked between the two.
“Ready to die?” Sabertooth asked as he stalked towards them, eyes never leaving Wolverine.
“Wait! Wait! Wait! Time!” Wade calls out as he begins to remove his weapons from Wolverine’s body giving him a long winded nonsensical pep talk in normal Wade fashion.
“Shut the fuck up!” Wolverine growls out, shoving him back into you.
What an asshole you thought to yourself with a scrunched up face.
The Wolverine lowered himself into a fighting stance before the two mutants lunged for each other. The two collided briefly in the middle as the familiar sound of metal tearing against bone and flesh rang through the air, before sliding past each other entirely. Both brothers stood on opposite sides of the dry field.
“What is it, girl? Is there trouble at the well?” Wade mocked with an innocent tilt of his head.
You might’ve laughed at the Lassie reference if it wasn’t for the fact that not a second later Sabretooth’s head rolled off his shoulders and right at your feet. You scrunched up your nose again, turning your head away in disgust as Wade picked it up.
“Behold! The head of your precious Queen, Furiosa! I have the Wolverine! I alone control her! You come for me! You come for her!” Wade declares as he raises the head in the air like a prize before he leans over into Logan’s ear, “I’m so sorry. I know it’s pronounced him. I’m gender blind. It’s my cross to bear.” Logan simply rolls his eyes at him.
“Who’s next?” He challenges looking around at the men who were left, waiting for someone to step up to him.
The greasy man let out an amused chuckle before calling out to one of his partners “Toad! You’re up!”
You look towards the other mutant and resist the urge to cringe again as he shoots out his slimy green tongue and pulls a lever. Instantly it activates a giant metal magnet that drags both Wade and Wolverine off their feet and into its pull.
“Wade!” you called out, unaware as a giant sentinel leg comes flying at you from behind, stunning you as it flies towards your companions, carrying you with it.
“Oh fu-“ Was all Wolverine had managed to get out before you and the sentinel leg crashed into him and Wade, knocking out the three of you on impact.
#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#platonic deadpool x reader#deadpool x reader#hugh jackman#like a prayer
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Twenty Poolverine Fic Recs - #1
November 3rd, 2024
In not particular order, I'll be making a fic rec of 20 poolverine fics per week from now through the end of December to highlight some of my favorites. Please make sure you note the tags on ao3 before reading!
Completed Fics
Promise Me We’ll Be Back In Time - fanficbug, E, 108K
time loop, angst, getting together
I think the author says it best in their summary: "The one where Wade gets stuck in a time loop and decides to play 50 First Dates." This fic is a well-rounded masterpiece, and absolutely beautifully fleshes out this concept. This is easily one of the best fanfics I've read in years. Millions of kudos.
where soul meets body - Edgebug - E, 33.8K words
mind-sharing, hurt/comfort, getting together, mind sex
This is my absolute favorite finished poolverine longfic. It's set after the events of DPW and expands into the wildest, most perfectly deadpool-esque chain of events. This is a perfect fic, I beg of you to read it.
second nature to me now - Edgebug - E, 36.8K words
casefic, fake/pretend relationship, angst with a happy ending
As with all of edgbug's fics, this was absolutely phenomenal. I love the fake relationship trope, and this almost feels like an episode of psych with the humorous crime solving premise. Read it in one sitting and have read it twice since. Don't pass up on this one!
Dangling Like a Thread - CenturyUnited - T, 6.5K words
self-harm, mute Wade, non-graphic sex, emotion hurt/comfort
In this one, Wade loses his voice and learns how to communicate with Logan. Very sweet fic, love the characterizations of both Wade and Logan in this one.
It’s not me, it’s you. It’s more than I can chew. - sandiazucar - T, 6.1K words
hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, nightmares, Wade whump
Logan hurts Wade while having a nightmare and Wade has to take a break. Emotionally devastating in the best way possible.
like a dog with a bird at your door - midnightdragons - T, 2K words
domestic fluff, cuddling, chronic pain, hurt Logan
His adamantium bones make Logan cold in the winter and Wade helps him out. So perfectly sweet, I love this short little fic.
Not this time, peanut - peach_flavour - E, 6.3K words
insecure Logan, angst, alcohol abuse, emotionally repressed men
More angst guys, I can't help myself. This author characterizes them so well, I've read this several times.
happiness (like a bullet in the back) - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 15.5K words
domestic fluff, chronic pain, bathing/washing, bottom Wade, top Logan, praise kink, dacryphilia
This 5+1 fic is soft and hot and good as fuck. Amazing writing and characterizations.
WIPS
Mr. Forgettable - Arwriter - M, 21.1K words, 4/? chapters
hurt/comfort, temporary amnesia, getting together
This fic is my absolute favorite WIP right now. Logan suffers a head injury and starts experiencing gaps in his memory and active memory loss. Absolutely delicious whump and great writing!
Don't Want To Be A Fool For You - HeavensAche - E, 45.5K words, 2/3 chapters
getting together, bartender Logan, panic attacks, PTSD
Logan works through living in a new timeline and his anger issues. Super well-written and a captivating read!
unhappy man syndrome - gossippool (fearandhatred) - no rating, 15.5K words, 4/8 chapters
Wade has chronic pain, hurt/comfort, nightmares, angst
This one is so angsty (for both Logan and Wade) and perfect. Please, please give it a read.
It's Just Chemistry - farmhandler - E, 23.8K words, 4/5 chapters
Logan and Wade whump, hurt/comfort, feral Logan, established relationship
Logan rejoins the X-men and their first mission goes wrong when Logan gets accidentally dosed with a toxin. Very whumpy and emotionally painful which is my absolute favorite. The author writes beautifully, and I adore the premise.
Hellraiser, Heartbreaker - prettyponyridetohell - E, 6.6K words, 2/6 chapters
jealous Logan (worst wolverine), references to X-men movies
Logan and Wade annnnd young cagefighter Logan appear in this fic. I suggest you just go and read it immediately, it's that fucking good.
SMUT/PWP
like the summer into rough hands - Edgebug - E, 3.1K words
claw/hand kink, coming untouched
Missionary’s Downfall - thewinkitty - E, 14.4K
sex pollen, trans Logan, breeding kink Hither, Hither, Love - phantasmagorical_rilianne - E, 4.5K words
light dom/sub, bottom Logan, angst, fluff and smut
The Urge (Is So Demanding) - sterlingstars - E, 4.2K
piss kink, established relationship, bottom Logan
Can't Sweat It Out - RatFlavored - E, 8.3K words
bottom Logan, service top Wade, rimming, overstimulation, multiple orgasms
black irises in the sunshine - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 16.6K
bottom Logan, insecure Logan, panty sniffing, subspace, praise kink
guess - handfulofteeth (s0norus) - E, 16.2K words
Wade in panties, Logan has a praise kink, power bottom Wade, puppy play, blood kink
#poolverine#poolverine fic rec#fic rec#fanfic#fanfiction#ao3#deadclaws#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine fanfic
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dreams unwind, love's a state of mind
a/n: i am posting the prompts i'm doing for challenges a bit late cause i haven't been here. but this is my first ever days of future past logan fic and i am nervous! i originally planned to do it in the 70s but then an even angstier idea hit me. and honestly i'm kind of in love with how it turned out. this isn't as much smut as i intended, but who cares. enjoy!
tuna-tober 2024: day eleven - tears + "i'd be lost without you." + breast worship
summary: they told him to change the future, to right the wrongs that the world caused. but he didn't do it for them. he did it for the chance to see his lover one more time. even if he shared a different history than them.
word count: 2.1k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MDNI 18+ ONLY!! angst, fluff, reuniting, tears, grief, logan has ptsd, mention of death, love, breast worship, body worship, biting, dry humping, they almost get it on in an empty classroom.
He never felt his heart beat this fast. A rapid thud, thud, thud against his ribs as he took long strides through the halls. His eyes scanned each corner and passing student for the sight of someone familiar. Logan didn't have any worries that you would be unrecognizable. He didn't worry that you were different.
His soul would know you from miles away—the connection that tied you to him stronger than his will to survive.
No matter what Charles told him. He didn't go back for him or Jean or Storm. He didn't fight to change history just to get a chance to save his family. That remained only part of the reason. Logan survived—he clawed his way through the past—for one sole purpose. He would finally get a second chance; he'd get to see you smile again, hear you laugh, feel your lips against his.
Going through hell became worth it if it meant getting the opportunity to have you in his arms.
Students pushed past him on their way to lunch. Several greeted him with a term he would have to grow accustomed to—professor—others tossing him a warm hello before they scurried by. He seemed to have a solidified life here. The promise of peace in a world that once ripped him in two. He wasn't just the Wolverine in these hallowed halls.
He was Logan Howlett too.
"Baby!" he called, running down the empty hallway towards the set of classrooms. "Princess are you here?"
Charles directed him in his mind, pushing images of moments he couldn't recall to the front of his mind. Smiles hidden in secret during meetings packed in a too small office. Touches that you hoped went unnoticed through training sessions and meals in the dining room. Jokes about the two professors who snuck into each other's rooms at night for months on end, long before they finally decided to move in together.
Time he'd never get back. Memories that never belonged to him in the first place.
Would you like this version of him? The Logan that had seen far worse, who endured a war, who held your dying body in his arms as a battle went on behind him. Would you love the scars that ran just a bit deeper? The pain that lingered for far longer than you deserved.
Fear gripped his heart at the thought of anything other than your love. He wouldn't survive a life spent without you. He went through that once and every day felt as if his soul was being torn from his body. Each gruesome wake up to move places and fight for mutants who may never make it out alive, became lifeless—colorless—because you weren't there.
"C'mon baby," he muttered, turning in a circle, his chest heaving with gasped breaths. The air seemed to be stripped clean of your scent, no mark of your existence filled the mansion as it once did.
He felt his body seize—the familiar numbing ache trickling down through his body.
No reason to live resided in his heart if you weren't here to spend it with him.
"Princess!" he practically shouted, his voice reverberating off the walls. "Fuck. You gotta be here. You gotta–"
"Logan?"
The soft lilt of your voice forming his name on your lips punched him in the chest, effectively stealing whatever breath he clung to. He whirled around, eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears, as you popped out of the classroom door behind him. He'd never seen such beauty until today. A wash of relief flooded his body, the weight on his shoulders landing on the floor with a heavy thud.
He drank in the sight of you with a smile. The curve of your hips in a too tight black and white pinstripe pencil skirt, the way your white button down rolled at the sleeves hugged your breasts—the black lace bra faintly evident against the sunlight that streamed through the windows. He devoured you with his gaze alone. Yet the hunger still persisted. It ate at his heart, begged him to move, to gather you in his arms.
But for the life of him...he was unable to gain control of his limbs.
They were stuck. Frozen against time as you moved a bit closer, your black heels clicking on the hardwood floors.
You looked exactly the same. Though some differences lay in the style of your hair, the red lips painted deep and enticing, the glasses tucked into the front of your shirt, Logan felt as if you were ripped right from his memories.
His girl. His princess.
"Baby," he murmured, doing what he could to catch his breath.
Your eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed as you regarded him with a flash of concern. "Is everything okay? Charles let me know you were looking for me."
The mention of the man's name forced him to finally move. What little of Charles still lingered in the back of his mind quickly retreated—the mission to find you now complete. This was his way of giving the both of you some privacy. A chance to reconcile with the woman he thought he'd never see again. Logan thanked him silently, promising to speak after all was said and done—after he got a chance to hold you for the first time in nearly a decade.
"You're here," he sighed, his feet moving faster than either of you expected.
"Of course I'm here. I had a class to teach. Quantum mechanics, well actually more a study of molecular physics today. I thought I let you know at breakfast–" His hands gripped your waist roughly, pushing you back into your empty classroom with a growl. "Logan!"
His foot shut the door, hand blindly fumbling for the lock, as he dragged you against his body with his other arm. An explanation would be given later in the dark confines of your shared bedroom. He'd explain it all to you, every gruesome and grave detail. All the questions he knew swirled inside your head—ever the curious woman he fell hopelessly in love with.
But right now he'd have you on the nearest desk (preferably yours). In this fleeting moment he would reclaim what was so brutally taken from him; the love he felt now pouring out from every part of his body. Beating in tune with his erratic heart.
"What are you doing?" you gasped, hands pressed against his chest to steady yourself. "Is everything okay? Are you hurt?"
His stomach fluttered, the sensation of being on cloud nine now a reality the longer he looked at your pretty form. Hands quickly roamed his shoulders and arms as you checked for any injuries that might appear at a moment's notice. Nevermind that he healed quicker than any other mutant in this school. Nevermind that he stared at you with an expression that could only be described as awestruck.
You still did what you felt was necessary to ease the growing worry in the back of your mind.
"'M more than okay baby." The low rasp of his voice forced your gaze up to his within seconds. A soft oh echoing in the empty room.
No explanation was needed when he looked at you with pupils that devoured the hazel of his iris. You knew what he wanted—could feel the desperation in his tight grip. The thickening sweetness of your scent curled around his senses like a drug, filling his body with a need that permeated the air.
"I missed you," he breathed. "So much."
Logan wished there was a way to convey how much anguish his heart went through in the years after your death. The nights spent yearning for your touch. The memory of you passing onto a plane he couldn't follow burned onto the back of his eyelids. He couldn't escape what happened.
Death was an easy option for him. A choice he would have made in the blink of an eye. But the laws of his own being were unable to be severed. He'd never be able to join you—forever stuck in a world without your light.
He longed to tell you all of it, but feared he might fuck it up.
"You saw me a few hours ago," you grinned.
"God I wish that were true."
Your mouth parted, eyes overflowing with worry, and Logan could no longer fathom a moment without your kiss. Dipping down swiftly he slotted his lips against yours with a groan. His hands gripping any plush part of your body he could reach. Unable to stick to one spot because there was so much of you he missed. The feel of your ass in his hands as he gripped you close, how you blissfully sighed into his mouth, relenting to his hold.
Kissing you felt as if he gained back all the years he missed out on. The time he thought was unsalvageable.
The feel of your tongue pressing against his drove him over to the edge of madness. A feral moan coated in a gravel hoarseness ripped from his throat, his fingers squeezing your body to drag you even closer. He sucked on your bottom lip, licked into your mouth with whimpered broken sounds, and refused to stop even when you pulled back for air.
"W-We're in a classroom Logan," you gasped, high-pitched and layered in a neediness that matched his own.
"I don't fuckin' care."
"I don't want to get caught–"
Sucking your tongue into his mouth with a grunt, he began to walk until the back of your thighs hit the grand desk you sat at. The plaque of your name now lay with a pile of papers that landed on the floor. He groped your breasts, tugging the buttons until they popped free—scattering across the room with soft pings.
"My shirt!"
He grinned. "I'll help ya find them later, princess."
"You're not fucking me here. We have a room for a reason." The words were accompanied by a moan, your head tipping back to give him the expanse of your neck.
Space he happily began to sink his teeth into. He sucked at your skin as he pulled at your bra, his thumbs running across peaked nipples that practically begged for his attention. An act he was more than happy to partake in. With a grunt, he sucked one into his mouth, spit smearing into your soft skin with the promise of making a mess wherever he could.
"F-Fuck," you panted, fingers ripping at his hair as your hips canted up into his. "What's gotten into you baby?"
He answered with a deep grind of his hips into yours, the sticky precum practically drowning his cock in the confines of his jeans. Self control wasn't his strongest ability at this very moment. Not when he could feel the heat of your cunt call his name. He'd be surprised if he lasted long enough to sink into you—to finally indulge in the warmth of your body.
Teeth dug into the side of your breast, his hands tugging your cunt along his jeans as tears pricked his eyes. Losing you wasn't the worst part of all of this. Not being able to remember the last time he felt you this way—the final day of joy in your relationship before it happened—would forever haunt him. A memory he should have solidified in the back of his mind slipped free before his very eyes.
How did you smile at him? Was it a stolen moment by firelight? Were you smiling just to appease his growing anxiety about losing you? Or did you feel a flicker of joy?
For the life of him...he couldn't bring that moment to mind.
"Logan?" Your hands tugged his head back, thumbs wiping away tears he didn't know started to fall. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
He grinned, broken and marred and bleeding all the love his weary body could muster. "I'd be lost with you."
You paused, disbelief shrouding your features. "What are you talking about baby? Did something happen?"
The time to reveal it all would be now, but how could he move past this? Your breasts were free and coated in his spit, your eyes were darkened with wanton lust. To him you would never look more beautiful. Entirely disheveled, yet still willing to help him by any means necessary.
You would always be—and forever remain—the other half to his scarred soul.
"I'll tell you later," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your wrist. "I'll tell you everything."
"But–"
He shook his head. "Lemme have this. Okay? I need this."
A discerning smile crossed your lips as he leaned in for another kiss, his body pressing you down until your back hit the desk. This certainly wasn't how he envisioned your reunion happening. A quickie in the confines of an empty classroom that you'd eventually teach in a few hours later. But Logan couldn't fathom waiting. He'd spent years pining after a soul that might never walk the same ground as him.
A brief moment of bliss. A short forever in the allotted time.
This was something he could steal for himself.
#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett smut#logan howlett#tuna tober prompt challenge 2024#tuna tober 2024#my writing
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Thinking about Wade googling, "Is my boyfriend a werewolf?" When things start getting colder because;
Logan starts nesting, curling up under 5 duvets, stealing hoodies, and fluffy hello kitty pants to add to it.
He's is extra growly and practically nonverbal at times.
Wade has witnessed him ripping up a pillow with his bare teeth, shaking it the way dogs do with toys. He now fears for his stuffies' lives.
When Logan starts instinctively devouring their kitchen, packing in food for the winter. (Wade has already gotten his hand slices off for poking fun at his weight gain and trying to grope his hips)
When they're out in public and he's visibly shaking like a leaf but snarls if anyone touches him (even on accident)
Takes hot baths and does not share them, wanting all the heat to himself.
Pops out his claws a lot more, for little things that he already is aware of that aren't threats. Perking up from whatever spot he's at to go investigate. Esspecially if puppins barks, it gets him twice as riled up.
The other day, he stood in the window growling because someone he didn't know was helping the neighbor fix their car.
"Wade? He's doing it again."
"Doing what ma- Oh for fucks sake Peanut."
He's at the window like a dog, growling and death glaring the mechanic, puppins is on the back of the couch, wagging her tail and yapping at them too.
"What has gotten into you two? Go on, off. Off! Shoo. Get. And you, go to your room, mister."
A huff of protest, but Wade already shut the curtains and picked up puppins. "Go on. You aren't going to just sit at the window all day looking for a reason to be all broody. It's not good for you. Look are you hungry? Ill make you some eggs. Go take a nap or something you're scaring granny over here ya big bad wolf." He sighs and with a final grunt he goes to curl up in the bedroom.
He also gets jealous the more attention puppins gets but he doesn't, lingering around the corner with a pout.
"That makes me riding hood, doesn't it? Yeah, Huh? Oh yes, it does. But litsen perfect angel, I know you're trying to be like daddy, but shhh! Were not supposed to have any pets, girl. No dogs allowed. It's bad enough that we have mister murder mittens trying to attack our landlord, let alone I had to tell him you were one of those giant New york rats." He tells the dog, who just licks him and was happy to join along in one of her papa's protective beefs with a random person.
Wade has only seen it a couple of times, but sometimes, after popping them out too much, he regrets it and licks his knuckles.
At first Wade thought this was just Alternate timeline Logan stuff, only to quickly realize that it was probably just in the Howlett genes, having been told that Laura also ripped up pillows and stuffed animals, chewing on them like a puppy and Gabby also licked her knuckles when they hurt from growing pains.
Apprently, gabby was a big whiner, too, whimpering instead of grunting most times. It made Wade wonder if she would grow up and grunt too like Laura.
#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#deadpool#deadpool 3#wade wilson#logan howlett#mary puppins#hes so babygirl#laura kinney#laura x23#gabby kinney#blind al#dogpool#logan howlett acting like a whole ass gaurd dog#xmen wolverine#the wolverine#wolverine#x men animated series#scott summers#bros bulking for the winter#he just has ptsd your honor
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(In Your) Arms Tonight - 2/2
summary: Wade tests out his previous hypothesis with great success. Might experiment more later.
pairing: Logan Howlett x Wade Wilson / Worst Wolverine x Deadpool
word count: 3.6k
warnings: MDNI 18+, Wade's POV-ish, blowjob, itty bitty blood mention, slight angst, nightmares/PTSD, pining, cursing, claws, crude humor and language, fluff, touching, *cue start of something new from high school musical*, Wade's a little shit, cum drinking bc i guess that's what happened, deepthroating, lowkey face fucking, bad flirting but it's kinda reciprocated, wade is the throat goat next question, wade kissed his roommate and they both liked it
a/n: here she is :') thanks yall for the patience and all of the magnificent love and comments for part one ❤❤❤ means the world to me, especially since it's my first time stepping out of stucky territory as a whole. also got a little away with the tags 😅 hope yall enjoy this !
Not beta'd. Half-written on my phone, edited and revised in ellipsus + gdocs. Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!
If I've missed any tags, PLEASE let me know!
gif by @tomshiddles | dividers by @saradika-graphics | warning banner by me ❤️
My AO3 | My Masterlist
Read this fic HERE on AO3
❤️ Reblogs and comments are appreciated, as always ❤️
PART ONE | PART TWO
Wade forgot to turn the AC back on.
It's his turn to sleep in bed tonight and he's got the worst case of swamp ass you can get this far from a fucking swamp. He's already thrown the covers, sheets, pillows, and his boxers off; he swears if he gets up there will be a sweaty version of a goddamn chalk outline on his mattress.
He stretches. Notices he can feel both hands now, fully grown and everything, fingernails and all. Smirks to himself as he flexes his new fingers before reaching over to the nightstand– it's actually a really sturdy cardboard box, but it works just as good– for his phone. The screen responds with a bright 3:02AM overlayed on a photo of him and Vanessa.
There's a pang in his heart for a moment. The same type of twist and pull he felt when Logan got up to leave after their big adventure (AKA saving their universe.)
“See you around?”
Wade tried to swallow the hard lump of desperate hope that had been bubbling inside of him the entire time they ate their shawarma. Hopes it wasn't obvious in his voice. Not a total cry for help, but definitely more of a solemn whimper and puppy dog eyes.
No matter how many times he was used to it– the people he loved leaving or dying or what have you– it still stung like a bitch.
“Probably not.”
And Logan didn't mean for it to come out so harshly, but that's what happened when– and if– he got too close. To anyone. To everyone.
With that, Logan rose from the bench, gathering his cowl and TVA jacket up from the place on the bench separating him and Wade and started walking. Dogpool whined and scratched at Wade's arms to chase after him.
Wade had to do something. Anything. He couldn't let this one– this Logan. His Logan– walk off into the sunset.
No.
Not without him.
“Logan!”
And then he turned around.
And now they're here.
He feels a similar yank and tear elsewhere in his body– lower belly, groin area– whenever thoughts wander back to that glorious time in the Honda Odyssey; Adamantium stabbing in and out of his chest cavity, puncturing his lungs and literally taking his breath away. The tight feeling of multiple seat belts holding him down to the second row passenger seat and the sickeningly happy grin adorning Logan's face when he tied the last knot. Wade remembers smiling just as bright under his mask.
That one definitely got filed into ye ole spank bank for safe keeping.
Sighing, Wade remembers he's sweating like a hog and drops his legs over the edge, planting two clammy feet onto the creaky floorboards. He throws on his previously discarded pair of boxers just in case Logan has a case of insomnia. Gotta take a man out to dinner before you show him your dick, like a gentleman.
Wade peaks his head out into the living room, TV glow assaulting his pupils like a flash bang. The door creaks open wider and Wade steps further out. He doesn't want to wake either furball– you'd be surprised how grumpy Dogpool gets when she doesn't get her beauty sleep– as he tiptoes out in front of the couch.
His breath catches in his chest.
Logan lies propped up on the couch, head resting on the arm with a throw pillow behind for support, arms crossed over a bare, hairy chest rising and falling slowly. A sheen of sweat coats his skin that reflects the changing colors of the TV. Half a snuffed cigar smolders on the coffee table ashtray. The semi-permanent crease between his brows is softer, perfect pink lips parted as he snores quietly.
And to top it all off, he's in his fucking boxers; his jeans are discarded on the opposite end of the couch, kicked off in his sleep to beat the heat.
Wade can't breathe. He can't help but stare, committing the heavenly scene to memory. A knowing smile slowly spreads across his chapped lips.
He's happy. Happy at how peaceful his roommate looks. Happy that Logan is finally feeling safe enough to sleep here. Genuinely. Wade knows first hand what it can be like to be constantly on the run, chasing peace and release, rest and safety.
Tip toes make way to the thermostat, Wade presses the 'on' button to the AC when there's stirring behind him. Head turning slowly, he catches the tail end of Logan mumbling something in his sleep.
“...Wade, please.”
Wade freezes like a carjacker caught in an impound lot. Surely he didn't hear Logan, his roommate Logan– The X-Man, The Wolverine– fucking whining Wade's name in his sleep.
What were the symptoms of heat stroke, again?
Wade shuffles back over to the couch. Feels like a creep watching his fucking roommate sleep, waiting another moment to see if he needs to take a power drill and give himself a DIY lobotomy or not.
“Mm… No, Wade…No, please, don't–” Logan murmurs softly. Struggling, brow furrowing, Adam’s apple bobbing. “Ngh… Don't hurt ‘im… please.”
Logan begins to shake. His head whips from side to side against the pillow, hands dig into the couch cushions, grunting, fists clenching as his claws itch to defend from the phantom threat. Muscles tensing and chest heaving, his breathing grows harder, faster, more frantic.
He's having a nightmare.
Wade recognizes the signs immediately. He knows where Logan's at: some distant memory with talons and sharp teeth assaulting his brain without him knowing. Hell on earth on the worst nights, a light ego beating and insomnia on the better ones.
Wade knows– his stopped two months ago. When Logan came home.
Without another thought– one in which he probably should’ve given– Wade climbs onto the couch to straddle Logan’s hips in the most non-horny way he can make it. Hands press into the center of Logan's chest. He gently calls his name, preparing for the sharp stab of Adamantium through an appendage and/or organ. Nothing he isn't used to at this point, but he secretly prays it isn't something totally major.
“Logan. Peanut, hey,” Wade whispers. He presses further into Logan, heat radiating off rough, hairy skin into Wade's tingling fingers. “Logan, it's me, Wade. You're having a nightmare, you’re scaring the kids–”
SHNK. Intestines. Ten or fifteen points, depending on if it's big or small. Wade's thankful it wasn't a kidney or his stomach– those are a bitch and a half to grow back.
“Okay– that was maybe warranted,” Wade grunts. Both sets of claws penetrate straight through his lower abdomen as Logan jolts awake, sitting up as much as he can while pinned under Wade. A gnarled scream catches in his throat. White-hot knuckles graze the skin of Wade's stomach, who is really, really trying his hardest not to get a boner right now.
“Th’fuck's goin’ on?” Logan slurs, face inches from Wade's bare chest. He blinks. Once. Twice. His brow returns to its permanent crease as he adjusts to the scene before him: bright TV glow contrasts with dark shadows Wade casts over him.
Wade is on top of him and his claws are inside of Wade.
Face scrunching– not inherently in disgust, Wade hopes– claws retract with a muted grunt. Wade can breathe again while his body begins repairing itself. His hands are stuck to Logan's heaving chest, fingers fanning out over each delicious pec. Thick arms rest on either side of him, elbows bent and resting on Wade's thighs.
Wade swallows, praying the man currently underneath him either A. doesn't know where his hands are at the moment or B. this is going exactly the way he wet-dreamt it a few weeks ago. Completely unprompted too, by the way– he's no stranger to the sick side effects of PTSD, he wouldn't knowingly exploit that in order to get into his roommate's pants. He's got more class than that.
Well, most of the time, that is. Again, completely unintentional. Coincidence, if you will.
Maybe he does need that DIY lobotomy.
"Where th'hell am I?" Logan asks, voice less threatening and more alert. His eyes flick from the TV and travel up Wade to meet sympathetic chocolate eyes already on him. Wade peels each finger off Logan's chest and sits back on his knees. Gaze softening, hands fall into his lap inches above the chiseled V pointing to down under Logan's boxers. He doesn't dare move a fucking muscle.
His pinky finger twitches.
"You're okay. You're here, in my world, Peanut. Twenty-first century. New York. We use fifty-cals now, not muskets. You were having a nightmare–"
Wade's throat hitches. He's not gonna cry, no– he's not that much of a fucking empath, for chrissake– but what he wants to say versus what he probably should say get lodged together on the way down to his mouth from his brain.
"I– I did the pressure thing Dogpool does with me, sometimes. Except I thought you'd wanna wake up to this pretty face 'nd not one with drool."
Logan looks skeptical, searches Wade to see if he's actually telling the truth for once, features relaxing once he mulls it over in his head. Wade's gnawing at the inside of his cheek when Logan's thumbs subconsciously start rubbing slow circles over the toughened skin of his upper thigh. Upper-outer, to be exact, but right now Wade doesn't really want to dwell on the minute details.
"So," Logan starts, "you woke me up… 'cause I was havin' a nightmare…?"
"Well, not exactly because you were having a nightmare, no." Wade runs a hand over the top of the couch, distracting himself. "Al really likes this couch. Antique, actually. Vintage find. Be a shame if some man with claws–"
Logan's palms press into Wade's thighs. A warning.
"Mouth."
Wade sighs. Hands fall into his lap once more and he is absolutely not fighting to gawk at Logan's V that lights up like a road work sign pointing to a detour. The semi-hard abs just above definitely do not make him want to run his fucking tongue across them like a cheese grater.
He looks back to Logan, clears his throat. "Look I– I've been there. Am there, honestly. Didn't want you t'be alone whenever you woke up, but I also know how hard it is to wake up. So," he shrugs, voice lowering, "thought I'd help. Help you come down from it, I mean."
Logan stares back in response, eyes trained on Wade like a hunting dog and a downed fox. Wade swears the corner of his lip twitches along with the meaty hands on his legs.
He's gotta get the fuck out of here.
"So!" Wade starts, "Seems everything's in working order. The doctor will be in soon–" Wade starts to scramble off before realizing Logan's holding him down. Sharp claw stubs poke into scarred skin and a deep growl rumbles out of Logan's chest. Not necessarily threatening, no, more of a 'you're not goin' anywhere.' Wade gulps, hands raise up jokingly, forcing his racing mind to think of a naked, cross-country skiing Al to stave off the blood violently rushing to his stubborn cock.
Logan sits up, closing the space between him and Wade. Hazel eyes study wide brown ones. Logan takes a breath, shaky but sure.
"Don't want y't'go. Not– not yet."
It's hesitant. Unsure but curious, quiet enough Wade thinks he's hallucinating again. Wade mulls it over, leans forward with hands back on Logan's chest, skin and muscles taught underneath with tactile tension.
Wade sucks in a breath, moves his hands higher to Logan's collarbone and it's grossly apparent how tense Logan is. Hostile to any sudden movement, untrusting of touch to the point his fists shake against Wade's legs. A slow, tender hand inches up Logan's throat and onto his cheek. Wade feels through the rough facial hair and unkempt stubble, a thumb finds the shaved spot at the point of Logan's chin and strokes gently. Fists start to unclench, but there's a hesitancy still lingering in the air, under Logan's skin. Wade thinks it smells like fear. Inches away, face to face, breaths fan eachother's faces.
There's a shift in the air and Wade leans forward.
Logan doesn't stop Wade from connecting them together, lips touching lips in the softest manner possible. Almost feels like there's nothing there, Wade's too gentle. Nobody moves, breathes, at first; they're each trying to make sense of what the fuck exactly is happening. Logan isn't saying no, isn't sawing through Wade's skull and Wade isn't pushing himself on Logan.
Okay, maybe leaning in to kiss his roommate might be pushing himself on Logan to the logical bystander, but in the moment it just felt right.
To Wade's surprise, Logan's the first to move.
His lips start molding into Wade's. There's pressure, a little pushing, chapped skin and the remnants of tobacco on his breath when his lips part and his tongue pokes ever-so-slightly through. Wade pushes back, hoping his breath isn't as abhorrently delicious as leftover cigar. He tilts his head, nose poking into Logan's cheek as his does Wade's, and lets his tongue explore a little more. Logan allows him in, meeting him at the tip and hungrily welcoming him. Breaths turn heavy, panting, while hands begin to roam, more comfortable now that they've crossed the line into 'spit swapping' territory.
Wade drinks him in. Greedily swallows the choked-back groans Logan keeps holding in his throat that come out as muted mewls. Fingernails wantonly dig into one another and leave temporary marks that disappear under rapid replacement cells.
It feels like forever when Wade finally comes up for air, unable to focus with the growing hardness digging into his thigh.
"I–fuckin' shit– I think I have an idea." Wade pants like a dog in heat– and fuck, he might as well be at this point. Logan pulls back with lidded eyes and kiss-swollen lips.
"'s that?" He's hesitant. Hands tense slightly over Wade's back, his whole body stiffens.
"Do you– do you trust me?"
Wade holds his breath.
Logan only nods. Adam's apple bobbing, lips part in anticipation and curiosity.
Wade strokes Logan's cheek in reassurance, shoots him a wink before shimmying down his body to the other end of the couch, keeping Logan's legs in between his thighs. Fingers hook around Logan's boxers, in turn causing Logan to jolt up immediately. A set of claws unsheathe an inch away from Wade's throat.
"Th'fuck are you doin'?"
Wade only smiles, taking a hand away and kissing the tip of the middle claw, gently pushing it back into Logan's fist and coaxing him to lay back down. What he's about to do would be easier with an in-tact esophagus.
"Relax, Peanut," Wade coos, "'m not gonna hurtcha."
Logan stares at Wade. Eyes pinch, still suspicious.
"…Promise?"
A sharp pang ripples through Wade's heart.
"Promise."
Logan hesitates, relaxes, gives another go-ahead. Wade's fingers curl once again around the waistband of his boxers and slowly, but surely, pull them down and off him. He can't help the immediate salivatory reflex upon seeing Logan in all his glory; the deep V lights up like a fucking Vegas sign pointing straight to the jackpot.
Logan's big– like, big big. Biggest Wade's ever seen (and Wade's seen a LOT.) An automatic response, Wade's asshole clenches, mistakenly preparing to take Logan. Wade forces himself to relax– that's not happening tonight. He promised Logan he'd go slow, no surprises, no whipped cream or leather cuffs.
Not yet, at least.
His own cock weeps happy tears through his briefs. He cannot believe how perfect– how beautiful– how fucking huge Logan is.
"What're you gonna do?" Logan whispers, hesitant eyes hooking on Wade and every little movement he makes.
"If it's alright with you, 1972 Burt Reynolds, 'm gonna suck every ounce of tension out of your perfect, hairy body and make you feel the best you've felt in a looong time."
Logan scoffs a laugh, brow furrowing as he shakes his head slightly. "Don't know who–"
Wade shushes him. "Don't worry, baby girl. I'll be your Sally Field."
Wade smirks at Logan's confusion and mentally makes a note to his future-self to show Logan the glory that is Smokey and the Bandit.
A gentle hand steadies the base of Logan's cock while another slowly wraps around his stiffness, standing at attention and beginning to cry, begging for Wade's touch. Heavy breathing and bitten-back grunts fill Wade's ears. It's a heavenly symphony he's lucky enough to have a front and center seat for. Free ticket, too.
"Ngh– Red, whatever you're gonna do– ah–!"
Wade presses his lips to the base, bush of hair tickling his nose and lips while he kisses his way up to the head, tongue poking out to lap up the precum. Before siccing his lips around Logan, Wade looks up once more, mostly searching for permission to help him feel pleasure for once instead of pain.
Logan reads Wade's mind and sends a small nod in response.
With a shit-eating smirk, Wade welcomes Logan into his mouth, flattening his tongue and curving his lips over his teeth so as not to scratch the sensitive, velvety skin. Drool spills out the corners of Wade's mouth and swallows a gag when Logan jams into the back of his throat, digging into his uvula. Squeezing the base and cupping the balls, Wade begins to bob his head to the rhythm of Logan's mess of 'fuck's, 'shit's, and–
"Mmm–Oh–oh, my god," Logan moans. A calloused hand runs over Wade's bald head, scars and grafts rippling under his touch while another hand grips tightly onto the side of the couch. Wade slurps up every drop of precum, relishing in the sweet musk of Logan's scent, head bobbing and tongue swirling in tandem. Logan's hips buck up into Wade, fucking his throat without meaning to. No amount of lozenges or peppermint tea will be able to cure the sore throat Wade knows he'll have come morning.
"F–fuck, Wade, baby– shit– that feels so–!"
Another lengthy dive down onto Logan hits the very back of Wade's throat, pulling a long, strenuous 'fuck' from the deepest part of Logan. He bucks harder into Wade who stalls, choking on Logan's cock while his own strains against his briefs. Another swipe of tongue, another gag and seeping drool, and Logan is officially done for.
"F–fuck! Motherfucker! Oh my, god, Wade–!"
Curses and chants and shaky breaths fill the living room as Logan spills into Wade with an 'O' on his lips and a hand on the back of Wade's head. There's a sharp shngk and a sting at the tip of Wade's ear as red warmth drips down onto Logan's thigh; his claws unsheathe into the couch this time, not Wade, who slurps and sucks every last drop of mutant cum from Logan's softening cock like it's the Fountain of fucking Eden.
He comes up for air, finally, lungs gasping against a swollen, fucked throat. He sits back panting on his thighs and Logan's legs underneath, a mix of cum and drool and the slightest bit of blood running down his cheeks and neck. Wiping away the mess with the back of a hand, blurry vision focuses back into reality and onto his roommate.
His roommate. Logan. Wolverine. Who's dick he just sucked the ever-living hell out of.
Well this is awkward.
Wade swallows, offers a crooked half-smile to the man who he just sucked, fucked, and milked dry.
"How 'bout them Yankees?"
Logan barks a laugh. A real, genuine laugh, one with teeth and spread lips and legitimate amusement. Wade preens.
"That was–" Logan wipes beads of sweat off his brow, "Fuck it. That was fuckin' amazing, Wade." He stuffs a hand behind his head, blinks a couple of times to recalibrate. "Didn't know that mouth did anything else 'sides talk."
Wade shrugs cutesily. "It impresses me sometimes, too. Helps when I have a willing participant. Just hope you signed the paperwork."
Logan shakes his head. Arms reach up to grab onto Wade, pulling an ear to Logan's lips.
"Now how 'bout we take care of you next, baby? Hm?"
\|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/ \|/
Morning sun and a weight on his chests wakes Logan from probably the most peaceful sleep he's had in… well, ever, honestly.
There's a wetness and mix of smells wafting into his nostrils that make him stir next; combination of what feels like a tongue on his cheek making way towards his lips, dog breath, and the sweet smell of something cooking in the kitchen. Eyes fly open when a whine vibrates on his chest, finding himself greeted by Dogpool wagging her rat-tail with eyes bugging out of her little head.
"Gah– get off me, mutt," Logan scolds, sitting up and gently shoving Dogpool onto the couch cushion next to him. He runs a hand over his face and into his hair, the crick in his neck a little less noticeable this morning.
"Gooooood morning, sunshine!"
Logan looks up with tired eyes still adjusting to the morning light to find Wade in his robe covered in flour with a mixing bowl cradled in his arm as he stirs. Last night comes screeching back to Logan as soon as he locks eyes with his roommate, mouth going dry and dick twitching in his boxers.
Wade only smiles, not at all hiding his obvious glance at Logan's crotch. "You want chocolate chips or blueberries in yours?"
Logan shakes his head. "In my what?"
"Pancakes, Peanut. In your pancakes."
"Oh. Yeah." Logan blinks, then scoffs a laugh to himself. "Yeah, Mouth. I'd, ah– blueberries. I'd like blueberries."
#jen writes#my writing#jen-with-a-pen#deadpool x wolverine#wolverine x deadpool#wade wilson x logan howlett#logan howlett x wade wilson#wade x logan#logan x wade#wolverine#deadpool#deadpool fanfiction#deadpool fanfic#deadpool fic#wolverine fanfiction#wolverine fanfic#wolverine fic#poolverine#deadclaws#deadpool pov#worst wolverine#wade wilson fanfic#logan howlett fanfic#wade wilson#logan howlett#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine smut#wolverine smut#deadpool smut
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The implications of Charles and Erik seeking out Logan in The Wolverine post-credits scene together are so huge that they really should be talked about more.
This is clearly a few months to a few years after The Last Stand, and it’s the very first time Logan is learning Charles is alive, and yet Erik is already well aware of it and they are approaching him as a team just as they did 50 years earlier at the bar. Erik even gives Logan the most certain and assuring head-nod when Logan looks at him for silent confirmation that Charles is really there.
So … how long has Erik known Charles is alive? Could he have been the first person besides Moira to find out? Is Logan now the first of the X-Men to find out? You’d think Hank or Ororo would’ve called him as soon as they heard. What have Charles and Erik been doing up till now?
It really touches the Cherik shipper in me - it’s not at all outside the realm of possibility that once they reunited after Erik had temporarily lost his powers, they just completely went off the grid for a while to steal some time together and help each other before the Sentinel thing became impossible to ignore.
If you think about it, at that point in time between The Last Stand and The Wolverine - however long it was - they both were at their absolute lowest, physically and mentally/emotionally. Charles was adjusting to an entirely new body as a result of getting almost killed by his surrogate daughter who he failed to save, and it’s quite possible that his powers may have needed an adjustment period as well; he also likely heard about Jean’s death in the news and thus had to deal with the losses of two of his most beloved students who were like family to him and were probably his vision of the future of the X-Men for a long time. Erik was adjusting to suddenly living without the powers that were so essential to his identity, as well as dealing with the guilt of unintentionally unleashing the Phoenix more than once, and once again accidentally causing Charles to get badly hurt. They both were facing massive loss and massive identity crises and massive PTSD - and seeing Charles alive again would not automatically erase Erik’s memory of watching him get blown to smithereens in front of him and thinking he’d lost him forever. And while Erik’s process of regaining his powers is obvious, it’s likely that Charles too needed some time to get his bearings in terms of his own mutation, as well as everything else he was going through.
So this was really a time where they needed each other, more than ever. They both were so deeply broken and lost that they were on the same page and in the same place for the first time, honestly ever. As someone who’d experienced permanent loss after permanent loss after permanent loss over the course of his life, there’s no doubt that Erik vowed not to let his unexpected second chance with Charles go to waste. It probably didn’t take long for them to rekindle what they - in that timeline - hadn’t truly shared since 1962. I imagine it was not dissimilar to Wanda and Vision’s first scene together in Avengers: Infinity War - hiding away in an isolated place, stealing some peace and quiet, and just letting themselves spend precious time together. And there may have been even more “rage and serenity” moments as they helped each other nurse their powers back to life.
Since it was offscreen, we can only imagine how many tears of grief, joy, relief, frustration, and love were shed during that period, before they found Logan.
#xmcu#cherik#x men#cherik meta#the wolverine#the wolverine 2013#x men the last stand#x men movies#x men films#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#logan howlett#wolverine#xmen magneto#charles x erik#erik x charles#magneto x professor x#charles xavier x erik lehnsherr#erik lehnsherr x charles xavier#professor charles xavier#fox xmen#mutants#magneto xmen#old cherik#the great cherik revival of 2024
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Cigar smoke and Sleepless nights |Part four
Switched gifs cause this one is wider and prettier
Logan Howlett/Wolverine x reader
Reposts and likes are appreciated
Cw: Cigars and smoke, drinking, reader has ptsd. Logan has ptsd, canon-typical violence, references to abuse
Part one two three
For once, you were up 'late,' and by late, it meant daytime. You couldn't sleep, to anxious since your zippo ran out of lighter fluid and you couldn't by more. You sat in the window sill, staring at the fresh snow that blanketed the grass and trees.
Dispite the fox, you felt cold. Maybe it was the lack of your nic fix, maybe it was the absence of talking to any real people. The sun had long risen, and people had been awake for an hour, maybe two. Realistically, you could go out there- talk to someone. Go buy lighter fluid. You had the money from Charles. It was to cold to go outside, you decided. Slipping from the sill, you glanced at yourself in the mirror. Just the same old you.
A lump rose up your throat the closer you got to the door, and it felt like it was burning. To anxious to try to leave your room. What if- What if, so many what's began to fly through your head, but then, they all went silent.
'[Name], it's okay.' A voice. It wasn't Charles? You heard a knock and then opened the door. A lean redhead with bright eyes was looking right at you. "[Name]," she said. "I'm Jean. Charles told me to check on you, and it seemed like perfect timing. He could hear your thoughts from down stairs." You were still confused. It was ger voice you heard in tour head.
"Are you like Charles?" It was the first words that slipped passed your lips. She shook her head,
"No, but I am similar. He can hear just about every one constantly. I'm not like that." She placed her hand on your shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"I will be, I think I just need some tea to ground me." You wished it was bourbon, or whiskey, or maybe any other liquor. Jean snorted and backed away, having heard what you thought. Of course you were unaware. For a moment, you worried she was laughing at you, but she was able to quell thag worry in just a moment.
"I'd best be on my way. Be safe, [Name]. You'll be okay. Just keep that head up." You nodded and watched as she walked away before you stepped out your own door. Stepping down the stairs, minding the flood of people of all mutant sorts, trying your hardest to ignore the beating of your heart from your chest.
You made it to the kitchen, and with no students there, you were finally able to breath, really breath. Grabbing a mug off the rack, you quickly filled it to the brim with water and put it in the microwave to heat. Whole that happened you shoveled through the cabinets till tou found a perfect tea packet. Chamomile and sweet berry.
After tossing the packet on the counter, you spent your time looking for the honey. That was fairly easy. It was in a large squeeze bottle, shaped like a bear. When the microwave beeped, you were quick to pull the steaming ceramic mug out, taking as little time possible do tou wouldn't burn your hand.
Putting the packet in and rigually tying the string to the handle, you squeezed the honey on top thag way it would dissolve and mix with the pinkish tea flowing from the bag.
Sitting there, you patiently waited. And by patiently, you were actually darting around the kitchen, desperate to find something to do. You looked in the sink, in the fridge, freezer, cabinets and pantry, in the fridge again. Anything to keep your mind off of the driping anxiety.
Like a timer went off, you squeezed the rest of the bag around you fingers getting any of the concentrated tea out of the cup and threw the garbage in the trash. Using your finger to briefly stir it, then licked it off you finger.
You took a deep gulp, one that took almost a third of the glass, trying to use it to calm your nerves. What you didn't realize was that the reason you were growing calmer was the scent of tabacco flowing from behind you. It was hard to smell metal with all of the worry, confusing it for the smell of your own blood. That was until someone cleared their throat.
"That's my coffee mug," Logan said behind you. Jumping from you skin, you nearly spilled the tea over your sweatshirt. "Oh my gods," you sighed. "You scared the fuck out of me. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was your mug, I'll wash it right now." You didn't even give him a moment to speak. You grabbed another mug from the rack and poured your tea into it,
"Oh," he said, to slow to stop you. His brows knitted together as he watched you quickly wash then scrub his mug, rather diligently. You flipped it upside down into the drying rack. "Hey," he said. He wasn't loud enough to break through your trance as he watcher you dip around, grabbing the coffee pot.
"Seriously I am-"
"Hey," he shouted. You stilled, the coffee pot dropping from your hand, the hot drink spilling over the linoleum tiles.
"Oh my god," you said, beginning to panic. Logan was quicker than you this time putting some hand on your shoulder and the other on your wrist, stopping you from nearling pulling you your hair.
"Jean," he yelled for the redhead, his jaw twisting over his shoulder. "Jean!" Then, you relaxed, your vision going spotty.
When you woke up, your steaming cup of tea was on your bedside table. Charles sat next to you, his hands folded neatly on his lap. His expression was cross, funn of concern and worry.
"I always try nor to pry into my students head without permission, however you had such a poor reaction to an accident I had to try to help," he said gently. A sour taste filled your mouth, as if bile was rise up your throat.
"What did you see?" He looked at you and you couldn't already tell it was everything. You sat up, glancing to the mug and taking a sip.
"I can take all thoes memories away, [Name]. Usually, I wouldn't offer it, but I feel like it could help you. Wothout living in fear." You raised your hand.
"No, I can't. They make me who I am. They're so important- they show me what not to do." Charles only nodded.
"I know. Don't be afraid to seek help."
#hugh jackman x reader#logan xmen#wolverine fic#james logan howlett x reader#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett fluff#logan howlett oneshot#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#wolverine
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(conveniently leaving in the website tag of where I read this for y'all)
But man just finished spiderman/Deadpool last night (don't worry this ain't the end!! Just a part I really liked) and it's a really damn good Wade Wilson character study.
It's interesting because so many marvel characters approach Wade with such a level of disdain and assumption that he's going to fuck it up and be bad, but also it's actually kind of ridiculously easy to have Deadpool on your side?? You literally just have to *checks notes* be nice to him??
I'm too tired and I work too long today to go on a deep long rant about it but part of what makes the spiderman/Deadpool run so interesting is how spiderman is the only one who ever approaches Deadpool like he even has the capacity for good and Deadpool's like "woah really?" and it has such a strong impact on him that he tries to give up killing people for a while and only breaks this to save Peter. Literally anyone who shows Deadpool an ounce of decency or shred of respect in the comics gets this guy following them around like a stray dog.
Also there's something to be said about how Wade was literally shaped to be in Wolverine's image but was seen as a failure and a ruined project. Wade and Wolverine start in very similar places but Logan eventually gets a support system of not only a family that believes in his humanity but also walking SSRI's??? Charles and Jean can literally mentally sedate him whenever the fuck they want and help him calm down from PTSD episodes and Wade was just kind of left to raw dog the world. Logan can for the most part walk around people as a regular guy, Wade can't.
I'm just saying both see themselves as tools that were made for killing with the biggest difference being no one besides spiderman tells Wade he can be anything different.
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