#offendability

[mentalisttraceur]

As I grow and heal, I catch more cloudbreaks of not needing to get angry because I'm safe now (the bad thing can't happen to me), or I'm feeling unshakably powerful (I can stop the bad thing once it happens or handle everything it does to me), or seeing far and wide enough (it's not really all bad, or it's actually good).

Working to develop a healthy relationship with my anger has also shown great promise for ability to be more gentle or measured with my anger. Because:

Anger expression doesn't have to always be either held back or a five-second explosive surgery that decisively changes the doer of shitty behavior to do it less. In childhood, under a certain pattern of abuse, fear, stress, and trauma, I had to sharpen and compress but also curb my anger, until that's basically what it always had to be. I could only safely release anger when it would do something effective in the time window I had before it was punished.

Anger expression doesn't have to be saved for the worst transgressions. In my late teens I ended up in a relationship with someone very easily and strongly hurt by me being angry at them. I had more compassion for their hurt than my wants and needs I guess. That's a funny error of empathy - a more hurtable person always "wins", a sufficiently resilient empath only ever gives. So I got very good at both finding ways to not be angry and to not express anger for minor stuff.

As I heal these two things, I am starting to see a view where anger is a normal active part of the toolkit, not a vicious snarling dog only released in extreme situations or when tired, but something always ready to fade in and out fluidly. Anger is interpersonal hardening which you can use to shore up your resolve and tolerance as-needed. Our boundaries, offendabilities, and even just perception of contradiction to our goals and preferences, can define healthy automatic activations of anger and how intense or soft they will be.

Growing a self-worth core tied into this. That axiomatic feeling that I deserve good things. Specifically, that I deserve a certain standard of treatment from others more than they deserve me proactively tolerating worse to spare them bad feelings or outcomes. Without a self-worth core, empathy prevented me from getting/acting mad at people unless I felt their intentions/motives/thinking were sufficiently bad/unacceptable. With a self-worth core, the other person can be well-meaning, understandable, or even just good and right, and yet I can still deserve better from them or from the situation.

A healthy self-worth with healthy internal anger freedom naturally dials up anger to defend and assert yourself in line with your wants, and it doesn't need others to be unacceptably bad, which means the anger doesn't need to escalate to your-existence-as-you-are-is-a-problem levels just to get going, it doesn't need to be bundled with judgement, condemnation, and hard feelings, and it can relax once the behavior changes instead of needing the person to change.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Want to play a game?

Jason: *war flashbacks to knife monopoly* ...okay...?

Tim: It's called 'Jon or katana'. I give you actual quotes from Damian, and you guess if he was talking to his sword or his boyfriend.

Jason:

Jason: Awesome.

[dudedidujust]

The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind

Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.

It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.

[professor-pants]

Genre of character: submissive like a guard dog is submissive

[notherpuppet]

Good morning 🍎📻

[lesbianfiddleford]

[yooo-lets-go]

what sort of music does simon listen to- and what are the others’ opinions on it when they inevitably discover it?

They probably wouldn’t share a playlist

Plus Roach:

[rinkudonuts]

Idk I just feel like this would happen

[ditzybat]

one of those tiktok gotham university reporters approaching bernard on the way to one of his bio classes: thoughts on red robin?

bernard, mildly sleep deprived, and knowing full well what tim’s night life is like: smash [proceeds to walk away like nothing happened]

[asocketwrench]

it's all coming together

[batfamilycannons]

Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

[cryptvokeeper]

I don’t go here f1 tumblr did I get this race right

[comicake]

glad to see that a lot of people were disappointed by the fact that Niko’s colourful lights were not her lesbian vibes but just some parasites

[notbrucewayne48]

"aphobia doesn't exist"

bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it

[theaceofarrows]

[qoldenskies]

i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases