#of many many months of social experimentation

[entity56]

i'm telling you guys-- suits aren't the only thing that makes people like characters. use this color pallette and people go INSANE

[uhohdad]

EXPERIMENTAL

it’s been awhile since i’ve written please mind the rust

Summary: Konig helps Researcher!Reader with a new technology they’ve been developing.

AO3 Link: X

PART TWO: X

Word Count: 5,4k

Warnings: Flirting, Sexual Content, NSFW, Reader x Konig, talk of standard war stuff, Reader is a bit of a pervert. Non-con Voyeurism. Reader has anxious thoughts/low-self esteem-ish? No use of y/n, reader’s gender/sex is incomprehensible, cause I do for the girls the gays and the theys.

NSFW UNDER CUT

You never thought you’d end up working for the government, but the opportunity was too good. Where else would you find a grant to experiment if not for the generous funding of the military industrial complex? You should have known. Research is research, you told yourself, and the pay is too good to pass up on.

Most of your time was spent in the lab. For the most part, you had worked alone, spending up to 14 hours a day working on your project. It had been months, but you’re sure your developments will forever change warfare.

How many deaths will your creations be responsible for? How much blood on your hands?

No. It’s just a job.

You let out a deep sigh. Usually you have background noise - music, a show, a podcast - something to help ward off the obsessive thoughts. But today you had visitors coming.

You had requested a test subject for a beta version of your project. A soldier to help work out the bugs before the final version gets sent on the battlefield.

Battlefield.

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about-

A knock interrupted your internal conflict. You looked up, your eyes meeting the visitor through the circular glass pane of the swinging door. Just his eyes, as the visitor wore a black mask that draped from underneath a helmet, flowing over his shoulders and down his chest. You couldn’t help the concerned look that crossed your face as you hesitantly waved him in.

The door creaked as it opened and the man stepped in. You shoulders eased a bit when you noticed the uniform previously obscured by the door, confirming he was a soldier from the base and not an intruder in a mask. You couldn’t help but tense again once you noticed his stature. Even from across the room you could tell he was well over 6’5. You’re sure he could reach his hand up and touch the ceiling with ease. Muscles with enough mass and definition to be seen even under the uniform.

What are they feeding these boys?

“Hi! I mean- hi. Uh,” Your introduction was shaky, but it was on par for your typical social interactions. After giving him your name, you asked for his.

“Konig,” He responded, his deep voice and coarse accent catching you off guard once again.

“Ha, yes. Nice to meet you.” You took a deep breath in hopes to conceal your fluster before continuing, “You’re here to help me test the new tech, right?”

Konig shifts in his spot a few paces from the door, not daring to step any closer to you. You’re wonder if you were coming off as too cold. “Uh, yes.” He clears his throat, “Just let me know what you need from me.”

Okay, straight to the point. You can do that. You’re happy to move on from the unsteady introduction. “Right,” You turn your attention from him to your laptop and the project in front of you. You hold up your device for him to see. He takes this as his invitation to move closer to get a better look, his black boots making their presence known as they stepped across the tile. The device resembled an earpiece - a small black strip attached to a coiled wire that ends with a sensible black base. “It doesn’t have a name. Yet.” You find yourself struggling to make eye contact with Konig, “Uh, here, it might be easier to just show you.” You flip the laptop around so he can see the screen. He’s standing right next to you now, and it’s hard not to notice how small you feel standing next to this giant of a man.

His bicep is the width of my head.

Stop it.

You try to smother your distracted thoughts as you put the device behind your ear and turn it on. A transparent projection in the shape of a curved rectangle covers your eyes, overlaying your view of the lab.

Konig watched silently as the screen on your laptop changed, now displaying your view through the lens. “This device is powered by AI.” You felt more confident now. You weren’t great at small talk but your work was your comfort zone.

“The possibilities are endless. Without being fed blueprints or GPS - it’s able to scan & provide a map of a building before you even set foot in it, and give you the safest path trajectories.” You make some adjustments from the laptop, and the projection overlays filters on your vision. Directional arrows appear, showing the easiest exit from the lab with coordinates and distance countdown to destination.

You continue, “Target identification.” You look at Konig from behind the transparent projection. He meets your eyes before quickly shifting his gaze back to the laptop, where he could see himself outlined in a bright red overlay.

“Scanning capabilities, even through solid objects. It can identify any object you want. Not just objects, either.” You turn your gaze toward the lab wall. Konig watches carefully as the faded outlines of workers on the base from rooms away appear, their heart rates and heat map registering from beyond the cold tile walls.

Konig stares, impossible to read.

“And uhm,” you pick up an additional device from the table, a thin square chip, “This is an attachment for your, er, weapon.” You cringe a bit at this feature, “The AI has aim assist, too. You know self driving cars? Ah, well, it hasn’t been fully tested yet, but in addition to auto aim it- uhm,” You can’t help but let out a nervous laugh, trailing off.

“It shoots for you.” Konig finishes so you don’t have to.

You wonder if the guilt is obvious.

It might as well be you out there in the field, taking lives. He’s probably disgusted with you under that hood, you think.

You purse your lips for a moment, “Yes. But we’re just scratching the surface. This technology is capable of-“

“It’s brilliant,”

Konig is skilled in the art of catching you off guard. He tilts his head, curiously eyeing in your direction. You wonder if he’s looking at your features or the projection,

“You made this yourself?”

You study him back, trying to figure out if he was mocking you, but unable to decipher his expression from under his hood. The AI continued to monitor him on your vision, and you felt as if you were violating his privacy by watching his heart rate slightly spike as he looked you over.

He must be lying.

You turned the device off and set it on the table, “Yes. It’s not perfect, but I’m hoping you can help me work out all the flaws.”

His stared quietly for a moment and you felt dread pool in your stomach, wishing you could see his expression under his hood. “I’d be honored to.”

A shaky smile formed on your face. You could no longer read his heart rate, but you found yourself wanting to believe the sincerity of his voice. “Let’s get started.”

You pick up another matching set of devices, two thin c-shaped bands, before continuing, “Obviously you can’t take a laptop out in the field. These are portable remotes.” Konig watches attentively as you place one of the bracelet shaped device on your wrist, tapping on it to summon another projection. “I tried to make it as user-friendly as possible. We can make adjustments if needed before launch.” You hold out the device toward him. “For you.”

He looks hesitantly at the device. Instead of taking it from you, he places his arm out on the table in front of you.

You’re distracted by your own remote and a moment passes before you register he hasn’t taken it from you. You glance over at his outstretched arm before meeting his eyes.

He sees your confused look and explains, “I just- I don’t want to break it.” Konig knows his own strength and he knows the worth of your project. He doesn’t want to accidentally apply too much pressure and ruin your work.

A nervous laugh escapes you, but you oblige him. You made this device for the battlefield, it’s meant to withstand more than a man. Even an extra large, muscular-

Stop it.

You’re not going to push. You carefully take his forearm in your hand, adjusting the device to his wrist. You try not think about how muscular and hard his forearms are, and try even harder not to think about how hard his biceps would be. And you definitively try not to think about how hard his-

Stop it.

“That comfortable?”

His voice is low, “Yes. Thank you.”

“Of course,” leaves your mouth, a little breathier than you intended.

Your face burns and you’re sure he’s got you pinned. You wish you could ask to borrow his mask.

It’s been a long time since you’ve experienced intimacy, okay? You’ve been confined to these four walls for months now, devoid of human touch. You’d be frothing at the mouth for anything bipedal at this point, let alone the mysterious superhuman sitting across from you.

You’re at a disadvantage, to say the least.

You can’t even look at him.

Konig carefully taps on the device on his wrist, activating his remote. The projection appears and he moves his arm to get a closer look. “This is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”

If he didn’t notice your blush before he was sure to now. “Oh! I don’t-“ Another nervous laugh, “It’s nothing. Let’s get you calibrated.”

You pick up the earpiece and hand it to him, still avoiding his gaze. You’re forced to meet his eyes again when he doesn’t take it. There’s no way you could handle putting this one on for him. This time you reassure him, “It’s okay. I know it’s small, but it’s durable. I promise.”

He carefully takes it from you, and you try not to notice the electricity you feel when his fingers graze yours. He reaches under his hood, the fabric warping as he places the device behind his ear and turned it on, the same way he watched you do it. He then waited patiently for your guidance.

You put your earpiece on before making a few adjustments on your bracelets projection. “Okay! We should be synced now. Go ahead and pull up your settings.”

You take him through the customizations, telling him how to switch between visual overlays, how to use multiple at once. Display adjustments, how to use the intercom. He watches intently, never interrupting.

“I hope I’m not boring you.”

“Boring me?” Konig stares at you, eyes saturated with disbelief at your doubt. “It’s incredible.”

You feel the warmth creep up on your cheeks again. All of the doubts and moral dilemmas you’ve been mulling over the past few years seem to melt away when Konig compliments you.

“Want to take it for a drive?”

“Absolutely.”

—————————————————-

It’s been awhile since you’ve been out on the field. The passed months have been spent under the florescent lights of the lab, hunched over your laptop as you fought with code. Feeling accomplished when you made a step forward in progress, followed quickly by a sinking feeling as you tried not to think of the consequences of each development.

It was nice to feel the sun for a change.

Konig followed a few steps behind you, both sets of boots crunching on the gravel beneath you. Few words had been exchanged. There was something about unreadable people made you nervous, but you tried not to let it show.

You stopped once in front of the empty shoot house, looking up to the soldier that towered over you.

“I had weapons development make us a prototype gun to pair with the AI. It’s for testing purposes only, so it doesn’t shoot real bullets.” You pointed at the faux shotgun propped up against the outer wall of the shoot house. “The auto aim chip is already attached. It’s going to be something to get used to.”

You continue, “I’ve placed the AI on test. It will simulate the conditions of a mission in a way that adjusts to your learning speed. Obviously once you get used the system we’ll have test runs with real people, but for now I just want you to get used to the overlays. If you get stumped, just let me know. I’ll be able to hear and see what you can from out here. I’m synced in to your device, too, so if you can’t figure out the adjustments, or can’t access your device, I can take care of that for you remotely.”

“Understood.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the way he spoke to you like you had seniority, with the utmost respect. It made you feel important. Really it should be the other way around - a nerdy weakling in the presence of an experienced and powerful soldier. You briefly wonder what exactly a man of his stature is capable of. He looks like he could pick up a grown man and snap him in half like a toothpick. Let alone what he could do to you…

You force yourself to stay on topic, but your smile lingers, “Any questions for me?”

You still can’t decipher what’s going on under the mask, but his voice is soft, as soft as it can be under his rigid accent, “Negative.” He walks over to the prop gun and picks it up, handling it expertly. Even though it’s a replica, he still opens the chamber and curiously peaks inside. Watching his big hands run over the realistic firearm caused an intoxicating mixture of fear and arousal to wash over you, manifesting as a tightness in your lower gut. You can’t remember the last time someone made you feel this way. Dizzy and excited and nervous.

It didn’t help that you’ve spent the last few months practically isolated and without intimacy.

He’s going to be the death of me.

Stop it. We’re just excited about testing the project. It’s a long time coming.

He would make me come a long time.

Stop. It.

After you watch him disappear into the shoot house, you turn on the intercom, “Konig? Can you hear me?”

“Affirmative.”

His gravely voice flooding your intercom is not helping your dirty thoughts. You pull up his view on your projection. “Okay, I have your video feed. Are you ready for the simulation?”

He cocks the prop gun so loud you could hear it from inside the building in addition to the comm. “Affirmative.”

Oh, fuck.

The knot in your stomach doubles and you think your knees might just buckle. You shift in your spot in the dirt to steady yourself, gravel scraping under your shoe.

You hear your name over the comm. “You still there?” Your attention is brought back to his view. You can see the world from his eye level and get taken aback at how different it looks compared to yours.

“Sorry,” you clear your throat, raising your arm equipped with the wrist remote, “Okay, in 3… 2… 1…” You press the button to start his test simulation.

You watch as Konig looks around. He’s got target scan activated, and the AI has overlaid fake targets onto his projection for him to hunt and eliminate.

You watch carefully, scanning the screen for any imperfections in your coding. The guide seems to be working smoothly, directing Konig through the maze-like hallways of the shoot house with ease. The placement of targets are generated randomly and you’ll have to crunch the numbers later to verify, but it seems to have accurately calculated the most efficient route, directing him accordingly. You try to ignore the sound of Konigs hitched breathing over your receiver and try even harder to ignore the way it’s making you feel. Instead you make sure the auto aim function is activated.

“Approaching first target.” He says over the comm and you can help but smile at how serious he is taking it. You remember your first time in the range, testing out the auto aim on the simulations. How silly you felt. Like a child playing with a toy gun. You think it’s sweet he’s indulging you.

His steps become quieter as he rounds the corner and his breathing slows. He pauses briefly before quickly jumping out at the target. You can tell the auto aim takes over and the shotgun pulls against his grip with the force of a strong magnet. It’s alarming at first, you remember, the gun taking control from you.

It’s not like that, of course. You designed it to be a teammate. Able to identify and terminate a threat before the user had even registered it was there. It was meant to protect the user, to defend their life.

That’s what you tried to tell yourself anyway. It was easier to swallow than thinking of it as the automatic killing robot it really was.

You kept the auto-fire function off for now. Partially because you wanted to slowly transition him into the AI features. Partially because you were ashamed.

You watch as Konig takes back control of the gun. He’ll learn how to work with it instead of against it soon, you remember the same struggle you had yourself in early testing. He fires at the target, a projection of an enemy soldier the AI had slowed for training purposes. Konig pulls the trigger and you hear the sound of gunshots. In real life, of course, nothing had fired. But the AI simulation was designed to immerse the player, imitating the feel of the battlefield. From Konig’s perspective he may as well just shot through a human heart. Other than the learning curve of your designs- it seems natural for him.

It was not natural for you when you had experienced the simulation. If anything it was just a fully immersible prediction of the consequences to your actions. Fuck Around and Find Out™️ now coming to an VR headset near you.

You watched his target drop & fade away in a dust of pixels, a design change you made after being unable to bear the look of replicated dead soldiers lying limp on the floor.

It’s just a job.

“Konig? How did that feel?” You wished you could see his face on the screen before remembering you wouldn’t have been able to see anything behind his hood anyway. You briefly consider a self-facing camera, but wonder if it would be for the improvement of the design or for self-serving reasons. You’d have to think of another good purpose to add it to the final product later.

“It’s a lot faster than I am.” He stuck with the facts, not wanting to cause a misunderstanding if it was strange for him to get used to.

“That’s the idea. Weird, right?” You offered, your smile lifting the tone of your voice.

“Very.” You could tell he was smiling too. “I want to try a few more - I’ll get used to it.”

He continues through the shoot house, approaching the next simulated targets. He’s slowing learning to work with the AI, letting it guide him as he controls the trigger. You watch as your program learns his skill, escalating the challenge first by increasing enemy speed and difficulty, then by adding multiple targets at a time.

You can tell this man is a trained killer, even just from watching a trial. It’s clear he’d easily be able to handle a real mission with ease - your advancements or no. Watching his gloved hands grip the gun, his quickened breathing, made the tightness in your lower half hard to ignore. It felt wrong how his rugged demeanor turned you on.

He continued without faltering, navigating the shoot house’s maze-like layout with the help of your guidance program. Despite your reservations, you decide it’s time to add an additional integration. “Konig, the gun you’re using is fully compatible with the weapon chip. As in, trigger capabilities. If you’d like, you can turn on auto fire.”

There’s a slight pause, and you’re worried he’s realized the full implications of such a technology. You’re relieved when he finally speaks over the intercom, “I think I turned it on.”

You verify on his feed before responding, “You got it. Let me know if you need anything.”

Holding your breath, you observe your AI work. He rounds another corner and approaches two more targets. Your code was capable of identifying each target’s imminent threat level, eliminating them in order of danger to the user. You hear Konig’s breath hitch when the gun operates with a mind of its own, mowing down the simulated targets without hesitation. Each shot effectively tearing through the most vulnerable areas of the targets.

“Meine güte…” He mutters, taking a moment to register what had just happened. You watch his feed pan down to his gun, his hands turning it over to examine it in disbelief.

You wonder what he’s thinking as you watch those strong hands work. If he thinks you’re a monster for creating such a brutal and mindless killing machine.

“Konig?” Your voice is dripping with uncertainty, but it’s your job to collect his feedback, “All good?”

You watch his thumb stroke the forend before his gaze shifts up, “I think I might be out of a job.”

You let out a laugh, words pouring out of your mouth before you can stop them, “Well, I don’t think we’d be able to replace you.”

Ah, shit.

You’re hoping you didn’t lay all your cards on the table, but you don’t dare let the silence hang, forging on, “Human supervision is still needed when it comes to technology like this. You know, wouldn’t want it to turn evil and try to take over the population.”

You’re hoping you saved it, but the few seconds before he responds seem like a lifetime.

“Well if it was made by you, I don’t think it would be capable of turning evil.”

Your brain short circuits and your mouth parts as you ready to respond, but find that you’re unable.

What did he mean by that? If he was implying that you weren’t evil enough to negatively influence a code, then he didn’t know you. Of course he didn’t, he just met you.

Was he implying you were too smart of a programmer to let a technology go faulty? Then he REALLY didn’t know you. You think briefly to your failed prototypes. How long it took to work out the bug of the AI mistakenly registering civilian children as threats.

Ugh.

Whatever the implications, you understand that Konig just complemented you. Something you were not still not equipped to handle, demonstrated by your slack jaw and wide eyes you’re thankful he can’t see. All accompanied by a warm feeling that spreads across your chest.

He’s just being nice.

Sexual attraction, that you could handle.

Not a crush.

This is a no-crushing zone, you decide.

The warm feeling needs to stay below the belt, thank you very much.

It’s obvious you’re joking, but your voice has a different tone when you finally gather yourself. Softer, bordering on dispirited, “Well, I don’t know about that. Y’know, I once programmed a toaster to cook my toast the perfect amount every time. I wanted it to spring out at exactly the right speed & distance to land square on my plate. Like you see in cartoons, y’know? It worked for a little… but one day it starting burning all my toast to char and shooting it max speed at my ceiling. I think it got mad it’s life purpose was making my breakfast.”

You hear Konig laugh for the first time. A raspy, hearty laugh that floods your comm and fuels that warm feeling in your chest, much to your dismay. You nose scrunches as you watch the shake of his feed slow. “There are worse purposes.”

You didn’t even give yourself the space to dissect the implications on that one. The smile is apparent in your voice, “I’ll let the toaster know.”

Konig finished out the trial after getting used to a few more overlays. You confirmed you had everything you needed for the day before letting Konig know you could wrap up.

He met you at the entrance of the shoot house, handing over the gun to you. It took you a moment to get readjusted to his size. He was tall enough to block the entire sun, casting you in his shadow.

You hold the barrel of the gun with one hand, resting the butt on the dirt. With your other hand you remove your earpiece, “Thank you for your help today. Really.” You say, forced to tilt your head back to look up at him. “If you’re interested, I’d love to continue trials with you.”

“It was my pleasure. I’d be happy to help.”

He tried to take off his wrist remote before you stopped him, “You can hang on to that. I have all your data on mine. It would be good for my research if you got used to the overlays outside of here. I don’t want to assume your time, but I think it may be helpful in assisting you with your duties.”

Konig shifts in his spot, “I don’t want anything to happen to it.”

You smile at him, pleased he’s being so respectful of your work. “Don’t worry. If you manage to damage it, then it’s not good enough for launch. Even breaking it will be valuable research.”

He considers this before hesitantly dropping his arm.

You continue, “Just promise you’ll share your thoughts with me. I don’t know what the life of a soldier is like, I don’t always know what’s best for you guys. Your feedback will be important in tailoring the design to fit your needs. It’s just a prototype, so you can be honest.”

His eyes stare down at you from under his hood and you can’t help but avoid his intimidating gaze by looking at the black paint around his eyes.

“I promise,” He says definitively and it’s obvious he means it.

You have his word.

——————————————————————

Back in the lab, you take a deep breath as you set your prototypes down. You had parted ways with Konig at the shoot house and haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.

You take the ear piece and remove the chip from the prototype gun in order to transfer the data to your laptop. You had a long night ahead of you reviewing footage and analyzing the AI results, but you knew your focus was going to be elsewhere.

You hoped your distracted thoughts would subside after eating an early dinner and watching an episode of your most recent show binge, but it doesn’t help.

You can’t stop thinking about the soldier with a laugh so wonderful you’d do about anything to hear it again.

You did your best to stay on task and turned your attention to your laptop, opening the software you designed to store its data.

It finally loads and what displays makes you gasp, your hand instinctively shooting up to cover your mouth.

Konig’s feed is still live.

Your eyes dart over to your ear piece, confirming it’s turned off. He couldn’t hear you on the comm. His overlay projection is turned off, but he must not have powered the unit completely down, and you neglected to end the feed.

You still don’t dare make a sound. You sit frozen, staring down at the screen with wide eyes.

He’s not wearing the headset, no. You can tell the camera is sitting on something at hip-height, maybe a table or a bed. Definitely not Konig-height. You can’t see much, your view is facing the wall of what you can tell is a modest-sized room.

It’s five-thirty now, you guess he’s clocked out and went back to his quarters for the evening.

This is so wrong.

You were violating his privacy. You should just disconnect the feed now, and forget about it.

You should.

But you don’t.

Instead you slowly lower your hands, lips pursed. It’s not long before Konig comes in to view.

The only thing he has on is a towel wrapped around his waist. His head was cropped out of view, but you can see his chest and his pecs are as chiseled as you had imaged them. Abs you hadn’t previously considered begging for your attention. The towel is dangerously low and goddamnit he’s got V lines, of course he does, and you can feel the warmth pool in your lower abdomen again.

This is so so wrong.

You should end it. End the feed, end the software, end the project. You’ve already crossed so many lines and if anyone found out about this you’d be discharged so fast it would make your head spin.

You’re seriously considering if it’s worth being outed as a pervert and forfeiting your grant just to ogle at the ultimate beefcake while Konig gets comfortable on his cot, face still out of frame. You’ve got a view of his side now, showcasing the middle of his chest down. You can see the definition on his abdominal muscles and you silently thank yourself for opting for choosing the higher resolution camera for your project.

He moves his arms out of frame once he gets the towel adjusted, you’re assuming to prop them behind his head.

He lays still for a few minutes, and you wish you could see his face. You were almost done talking yourself into closing the feed when his arm comes back in to view. Strong hands and forearms followed by massive biceps.

Your breath hitches again when you realize he’s reaching down for the towel. He unwraps it delicately, letting each end hang off the side of the bed.

He’s fully naked now, and it’s official-

You’re a pervert.

His cock sits at half attention and he wraps his hands around it, stroking it absentmindedly.

Oh, fuck.

Your mouth hangs slack and you can’t help but let out a squeak. You double check to make sure you’re still in your software and didn’t somehow accidentally open PornHub. But no, you were definitely watching Konig rut into his hand, teasing himself to arousal.

It doesn’t take long for his cock to reach full attention, leaking precum from the swollen tip. Even scaled next to his oversized hands you can tell it’s huge.

He reaches down to cup his balls briefly before returning to his shaft, wrapping his hand around it and stroking gently.

You can’t stop watching now- you’re locked in, eyes glued to the screen and you don’t think you’ve so much as blinked this entire time.

You watch as he picks up the pace, biceps flexing as he fucks his hand faster.

A low moan comes through the speakers of your laptop. You scramble for the volume controls, reducing it until you were sure no one passing by in the hall could hear.

It’s addicting, his moans. Deep and gravely and you can’t help but close your eyes and imagine what it would be like for him to be moaning in your ear instead of over a screen. For him to be fucking you instead of his hand. Moaning like he’s approaching a release he hasn’t felt in decades.

When you open your eyes again he’s stroking faster, his whole body tensing, a glossy shine forming on his defined muscles. You can’t help but stare at his bicep as it flexes to jerk his cock.

Even without seeing his face, you can tell he’s getting close.

His cock is a blur as he pumps vigorously. His breath quickens before suddenly hitching, muscles fully clenched as he comes, the first few drops landing on his stomach and thighs.

His whole body constricts as the waves of the pleasure wash over him. You can tell it’s intense.

His pumping slows and his seed spills over his knuckles and down his shaft as he squeezes out the last of it, quivering at the sensitivity.

His muscles relax and he sinks back into his cot, wiping his hand on the towel. He lays still for a few moments, the sound of him catching his breath and his rising and falling chest takes stage. Until he removes the towel from underneath him, wiping away his mess.

You’re staring, eyes wider than when you started. Your knuckles lighten as you grip the stool beneath you. It wasn’t the finish that shocked you, no.

Not the size of the load that spilled from his huge cock.

Not the way he had bucked his hips, desperate for the touch.

Not the way his muscles had rippled through the phases of orgasm.

You were shocked because as he finished;

Konig had moaned your name.

Part two

[a-very-tired-jew]

Conversations with a younger colleague about I/P conflict

In my department there is a grad student who is friendly with myself and a few others of the openly nerdy ecologists. We actively talk about anime, video games, TTRPGs, etc... We've also all collaborated on research together because we generally study the same thing, and being a grad student we are also letting them helm their own research to carve their own path. The research topic that links all of us is decomposition ecology.

Meaning, we study death, how it effects the environment, and all the things having to do with it. Often we have our own terms that we define and use, but we also work within the framework of various medical and legal definitions nationally and internationally. Recently this student has been talking to me about the I/P conflict because it has dominated their social media feed. Like many young adults, this is their first I/P conflict and their first exposure to anything regarding that region. As such, they have come to me to talk about things knowing that I am Jewish. Not out of maliciousness, but because I am the only person they talk to that has any sort of connection to it. Over these past months they have repeated the "genocide/Holocaust" rhetoric that we have seen Western Activists use to make the conflict the Worst Thing Ever. Our conversation went as follows: GS: I can't believe they're committing a Holocaust on them after what they went through. Me: How is it a Holocaust? GS: They're committing a genocide against the Palestinians. Me: They're not doing either one, but let's touch upon the first thing you said. How? GS: They're killing them in large numbers! Me: Oh...oh...that's not what made the Holocaust the Holocaust, you know that right? It was years of systematic dehumanization that culminated in what we know. There were death camps, torture, experimentation, and so much more than simple "killing in large numbers". GS: Damn public school education... Me: You didn't really go over it too much did you? GS: WWII was, like, a week I want to say. Me: *sigh* yeah, not surprised at all. GS: Okay, so a genocide then? Me: GS, what do we study? GS: Decomp Me: and that involves? GS: Death Me: One avenue of which is mass casualty events which a number of our friends have published on. GS: Yeah! I read those papers, they were really good. Me: They were, but do you remember conversations we had about them and what differentiates mass casualty events from one another? GS: Cause? Me: And...? GS: Shit. Intent. Me: Exactly. Has their been an official stated intent to commit any genocide? I mean, you've got the bigots in the government like Ben Givir and the shit they say, I'll give you that. But has the official stance been genocidal? GS: No. I don't think so. Me: What has it been? GS: To get the hostages back and get rid of Hamas. Me: Uh huh, and what has been Hamas's stated intent? GS: To kill Zionists. Me: And before 2017 when they changed the wording in their charter? GS: ah fuck...it's Jews isn't it? Me: Ding ding ding. GS: So that's why no one in the group has said it's a genocide... Me: Correct. Humanitarian crisis brought about by war? Yes. Mass casualty event? Certainly. But genocide? Well, there's a reason no one in our circle has endorsed the term. And remember, we're considered experts on death. GS: I got puppeted didn't I? Me: Yep. GS: Shit. The only reason this went so well is due to our friendship and mentor/mentee dynamic. They already trust me to not lead them astray, be informed, and address the holes in their knowledge. Hell, they help me be a better scientist as well with how they bring in new and novel techniques that I didn't know. But they're still getting a lot of their info from TikTok and IG, and they've talked about a lot of BS from those two particular apps these past few years. This is just the latest (they had a TikTok induced anti-GMO trend for a while, it was bad).

[she-is-ovarit]

Data spanning from 1995 to 2021 in India revealed a striking gender imbalance in organ transplants, with four men getting organ transplants for every woman. A total of 36,640 transplants took place in this period, out of which 29,000 were for men and 6,945 for women.

This substantial difference is attributed to a complex interplay of economic responsibilities, societal pressures, and deeply ingrained preferences. 

Dr Anil Kumar, director of the government-run National Organ & Tissue Transplant Organisation (NOTTO) highlighted this significant aspect of the organ donation landscape.

While more men contribute as cadaver donors, a staggering 93 per cent of total organ donations in the country come from living donors, he told the Times of India newspaper. This hints at a trend: a majority of living organ donors are women.  Socio-economic factors a driving force for women donors? A study published in the Experimental and Clinical Transplantation Journal in 2021 delved into the intricacies of living organ transplantation in India. The findings showed that 80 per cent of living organ donors are women, predominantly wives or mothers. The socio-economic pressure on women to assume caregiving roles within the family emerges as a primary factor, compelling them to step forward as donors. Men's reluctance in surgery In many cases, men, often the primary breadwinners, hesitate to undergo surgery, contributing to the gender gap in organ recipients. The study highlights that when the recipient is a male breadwinner, family members, especially wives or parents, feel a heightened responsibility to donate organs. Emotional dynamics The emotional dynamics surrounding organ donation are intricate. Women recipients, in particular, may experience guilt when their family members, especially wives or mothers, become donors. This reluctance leads to a scenario where women recipients may find themselves on waiting lists.  Notably, Karnataka has topped the charts in organ donation in the past decade. The number of donations have risen from 102 in 2013 to 765 in the first 10 months of 2023. 

A user on Ovarit added this helpful context:

"Just a little more context to this: men produce male-specific proteins (on the Y chromosome) which often get rejected by women's bodies. Since males have an X chromosome, their bodies recognize proteins from female donors. This makes it more difficult for women to receive male tissue/organs, while still being acceptable candidates for donating to men. Even still, these ratios are very disproportionate".

"As women we absolutely need to be aware of our vulnerability of being used as spare parts in a man's world. Especially when we are being socialized into believing that we need to sacrifice our bodies and lives for others- and society has developed a sense of entitlement to this sacrifice, while downplaying the suffering of women."

[warping-realities]

Commitment - Part I

"I thought you liked my body."

Peter said with a slightly hurt tone of voice into the phone as he looked at the video of the overly muscular man that took up most of the device screen advertising a personal training studio that had recently opened near his apartment.

"I like you, babe, but it's just that you spend so much time at work and... well... I'll be honest, I've always liked your thin appearance... but in the last few months you've been growing a belly. It's no big deal ...but you know how much dedication I put into my body, just for you. A little reciprocity would be nice. Do this for me baby, I've already scheduled an appointment for you.

" Concluded the voice on the phone, belonging to Julia, Peter's longtime girlfriend. The two met while still in college and he always wondered what a woman with a sculptural physique and a beauty worthy of the catwalks saw in him. Not that he wasn't attractive, with his elegant face and slim body, coupled with the air of class and sophistication that many rich people seem to carry with them without even realizing it. Still, the difference between the two in terms of attraction was huge. Which made many people whisper that she was nothing more than a gold digger. But Peter preferred to turn a deaf ear to those comments because he really loved Julia and wouldn't accept that kind of conversation. In fact, he loved her so much that even against his nature he found himself putting on gym clothes and going to the address indicated in the pamphlet.

Furthermore, Julia knew him very well and had pressed the right button to force him to do what she wanted, appealing to his commitment to their relationship.

Arriving at the indicated location, Peter realized that the studio was a small room with some equipment and thus understood that Julia was thinking about his inhibitions when choosing that place. Despite coming from an influential family and being forced to participate from an early age in the most different social events, he had a real horror of exposing himself.

Therefore, a small studio like that would be the place where he would feel at least a little more comfortable. But perhaps she had purposely ignored another of Peter's horrors: intimidating muscular men, which was precisely the case with the gigantic guy standing with his arms crossed in the center of the room wearing the same shirt and making a pose identical to the one in the ad Peter had seen earlier.

Peter justified to himself that this would be the standard expected of a personal trainer, but that didn't change the feeling of absolute fear that had overcome him the moment he laid eyes on that figure.

The monstrous guy opened a smile that exuded so much self-confidence that it was overflowing with arrogance.

"Hey man, I'm Dan, you must be Pete, right?" The instructor asked as if he were intimate with

Peter and making the mistake that was perhaps the only thing that gave him the courage to speak out, calling him by his diminutive.

"Peter. I'm Peter Wexhan and I like to be called by my name."

"Wow man, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I just wanted to break the ice since we're going to spend some time together." Dan said without letting his smile falter.

"I-I don't know if we'll go... I just thought about taking a experimental class." Peter replied.

"Nah, you'll see, once the iron bug bites you there won't be any return. So, the girl who arranged the class for you mentioned that the goal is to lose some belly fat, is that it?"

"Julia, the girl's name is Julia. My girlfriend and that's what she would like..."

"But what about you, what would you like? You are my client!" The truth is, Peter would rather be home. But he didn't have the courage to say that for fear of the big man in front of him and of

disappointing his girlfriend.

"I...that's what I want."

"Dude, you need to learn to assert yourself, man. And you know a great way to assert yourself, grow up!" Dan said, flexing his powerful muscles pushing his shirt to the limit, stretching it so much that it became transparent, exposing the glory that was hidden by the thin layer of fabric.

"I... I.." Peter began, not knowing what to say as he looked at that pile of stacked muscles with wide eyes.

"I'm kidding Peter. Who am I to say what you should or shouldn't do? Although I think a real man needs to know how to impose himself, I also think he also needs to know how to please a woman."

Once again, not knowing what to say, Peter preferred to remain silent. Giving Dan space to ask the question he would know was coming.

"So, Peter Wexhan... any relation to Senator Frank Wexhan?"

"Yes, I am his son."

"Wow, one of my first clients will be someone important."

"My father is important, I'm just a regular guy." Peter replied, knowing that as much as he wanted it to be real, it didn't actually match reality. After all, besides his father being a senator, his family was extraordinarily rich and Dan certainly knew that. But demonstrating more professionalism than the interaction between the two up until that moment made it clear that it would be possible, the instructor did not comment anything about it, preferring to continue the class.

"Let me work with you for a while and you will be anything but regular. And the best time to start is now. He responded with a new smile before putting Peter to perform the greatest physical effort of his life up to that point.

While helping him, Dan tried to start a conversation with Peter. He talked about cars, football, parties, all subjects with which the other had no affinity whatsoever.

"What do you mean you don't have a football team? Not even the one from your college?”

"It was never something I was interested in, sorry."

"Stop apologizing for everything man, although really in this case you have to apologize. Just kidding!!! But weren't you at least going to see the cheerleaders?" Dan asked, delving into another delicate subject, women. Julia had been the only woman in Peter's life and he adored her. He saw no reason to look at or even think about other women. So deep was his commitment.

Upon hearing this, Dan just smiled again and corrected Peter's posture, resuming his focus on the exercises. Making the latter amazed at how good the other was at his job and how quickly this was showing. At the end of the session his arms, shoulders and legs are looking slightly bulkier and he can't help but give himself a self admiring look in the mirror at how good looking he was making his opinion of Dan improve a lot. Sure, he was the kind of guy that Peter preferred to stay away from all his life, but now he saw that he could be someone fun and with whom he could interact. So much so that he ended up scheduling a new session for the following day. Saying goodbye to the other man with a hand shake and going home with the impression that in the end all in all, that was a great decision.

Upon arriving at the simple but comfortable apartment he shared with Julia instead of his family's currently uninhabited mansion, he found himself invaded by a hunger he had never felt before. Looting everything he had in the fridge and cupboards, and without taking a shower, he lay in the couch devouring everything he had looted while flipping through one channel after another on the television until finally stopping at a game of university football for his college team, which he began to watch, while he absently massaged his sore muscles, with a feeling of pleasure bordering on sexual. And that's how Julia found him two hours later when she arrived home.

"Hey babe... what's that smell? What's going on?? Peter you stink!"

That was her comment when she saw her boyfriend lying on the sofa in the living room, which at that moment was infected by the pungent smell of masculinity.

"Sorry babe, I got home from the and lost track of time." Peter replied as he smelled his ownarmpits and made a face. "Eww, I really stink."

"Peter, I can't believe you sat all dirty on my couch!"

"My couch, the apartment is mine and I can lie on my sofa and watch football however I want!" He

responded aggressively, scaring his girlfriend and himself in the process."

"Sorry babe, I don't know what came over me, let me take a shower and make up for it. I'll cookyour favorite dish for you."

The rest of the night passed without any major incidents, with the two having dinner and making small talk and ending up in bed where he rewarded Julia with the best fucking she had had in a long time.

To be continued…

[likeadevils]

okay it seems like we’re picking up new cult members tonight and i need to tell yall about a man named sir richard owen

so i first stumbled upon him when i was trying to find out what platypus milk tastes like. you would think this would be easily googlable. surely, swiftie tumblr is not the first person to wonder about this, and surely some youtuber, or at least a zookeeper, has tried it and told the tale

to this motherfucking day the only first hand account i could fine was from one sir richard owen in 1832. EIGHTEEN THIRTY TWO. “okay,” i think. “it’s not like platypus milk has dramatically changed taste sense the 1800s. this strange, but still relevant data.”

but no. no. this motherfucker did not sample milk from a wild platypus. he did not sample milk from a captured platypus. dear reader, he did not even sample milk from a living platypus. this motherfucker sampled milk from a taxidermied platypus shipped from australia to england in the 1830s, which means it had at best been dead for months. (for the record, he described it as “drops of a yellowish oil, which afforded neither perceptible taste nor smell, except such as was derived from the preserving liquor”)

after months of platypus milk cult nights, i finally crack and look at this guys wikipedia page. what follows are my favorite qoutes, fun facts, and other miscellaneous bullshit

richard owen coined the term dinosauria, now dinosaur.

he helped create the natural history museum in london, the first of its kind

he once hosted a dinner party inside a giant concrete dinosaur

“Owen was granted right of first refusal on any freshly dead animal at the London Zoo. His wife once arrived home to find the carcass of a newly deceased rhinoceros in her front hallway.”

there is a very large section of his wikipedia page dedicated to his personal beef with charles darwin. not included in that section, his statue in the natural history museum of london, a museum that he opened, was replaced by a statue of charles darwin

“Owen has been described by some as a malicious, dishonest and hateful individual. He has been described in one biography as being a "social experimenter with a penchant for sadism. Addicted to controversy and driven by arrogance and jealousy".”

“An Oxford University professor once described Owen as "a damned liar. He lied for God and for malice".”

“Richard Broke Freeman described him as "the most distinguished vertebrate zoologist and palaeontologist ... but a most deceitful and odious man"”

Charles Darwin called him "Spiteful, extremely malignant, clever; the Londoners say he is mad with envy because my book is so talked about"

He claimed that he was the discoverer of the iguanodaun, when really it was this other guy, gideon mandell. richard published an anonymous paper talking shit about gideon and used his sway in the field to ensure that none of gideon mandalls papers were published in the royal society.

“Owen also resorted to the same subterfuge he used against Mantell [against Charles Darwin], writing another anonymous article in the Edinburgh Review in April 1860. In the article, Owen was critical of Darwin for not offering many new observations, and heaped praise (in the third person) upon himself […] Owen did praise, however, the Origin's description of Darwin's work on insect behavior and pigeon breeding as "real gems".

this is what he looked like

[hiveworks]

Micro Comic Summer - A Summary

August 2023

Last year in 2022, Hiveworks introduced the art challenge Micro Comic Summer as a tag on Twitter. Creators took to the challenge and produced four page comics that were shared on the final day of August. This year, we’re encouraging more creators to participate in the challenge. Want to know how? Read on.

Micro Comic Summer is one of many online art challenges that bring creators together to complete a project and share their work with their community. Other well known examples of art challenges include Hourly Comic Day, where artists draw a comic panel for every hour of their day on February 1, and Inktober, a 31 day challenge in the month of October to ink a new illustration every day. While these challenges have artists flexing their endurance and speed, Micro Comic Summer takes a different approach: slow, experimental, sustainable creation.

Very frequently, comic artists face unsustainable working conditions, as many are the sole creator behind projects that require multiple skill sets (such as writing, penciling, inking, flatting, lettering, and so on), often on top of day jobs.

The rules of Micro Comic Summer take into consideration the working conditions of comic creators, particularly in fast paced environments like social media, and attempts to buck the norm.

The rules of Micro Comic Summer are as follows:

Rule 1- Tell a story in four pages. This rule is possibly the most challenging aspect: to be succinct and efficient with your page count. Some creators have used this challenge as an opportunity to redraw old webcomic pages or introduce new readers to their pre-existing characters and story. What story you tell is completely up to you, but the four page maximum is in place to prevent overexertion.

Rule 2 - You have all summer (or winter, for the southern hemisphere) to do it. From June to the end of August, take your time to perfect your paneling, edit your story, and choose your palette thoughtfully. There is no need to make snap decisions or cut corners for this challenge. The timeframe is meant to encourage exploration and growth.

Rule 3 - Share it online. Use the tag #MicroComicSummer to share your work with others on August 31. Contribute to the conversation around comic artist working conditions.

While Hiveworks introduced Micro Comic Summer, anyone is free to participate. Participation in the tag does not mean you’re submitting your work to us, nor does it mean we own it. It’s just a hashtag, for fun :) 

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

[loosescrewslefty]

Venting to @imthepunchlord about the state of the Spy x Family fandom this morning because some VERY worrying posts have been repeatedly showing up in the tags in regards to certain neurodivergent tendencies (seriously, if neurotypicals can STOP implying that there is something unnatural about the way neurodivergent minds work and insisting that therefore those differences have an unnatural source like experimentation or some kind of intentional mental training against the only known esper in the universe? That would be super, thanks.) and obviously, as a neurodivergent person myself they bothered me quite a bit. I started talking about how I hoped that the introduction of Demetrius meant that Endo was going to address the abuse that neurodivergent children in particular suffered in Nazi Germany. So I pulled up the wiki article on Asperger to start giving examples of what I was referring to, and nearly had a heart attack.

Because it turns out that Sigmund Authen being modeled after Einstien is NOT the only historical figure to make it into the spy x family story.

The main scientist who ran the experiments on Anya was ABSOLUTELY modeled after Hans Asperger.

Which is an absolute win for those of us who have mentioned seeing neurodivergent tendencies in Anya!

And before anyone jumps on me about my frustrations at the fandom in the beginning of this post or come at me with the claim that I'm being hypocritical, know that there is a key difference between how Anya is actually written vs how some people in the fandom are choosing to interpret Demetrius;

Anya's powers are not reliant on her neurodivergence.

Anya is a neurodivergent child with a superpower. There are times when she loses her telepathic powers, but all of her neurodivergence remains. And honestly with the revelation that the man responsible for experimenting on her was based on Asperger and what his research was like, I feel that this is NOT a case of Autism is Magic! But rather Anya being chosen for experimentation by virtue of being a neurodivergent child and gaining her telepathy by happenstance.

Meanwhile, the aspect of Demetrius' character that people are jumping on and theorizing about is the fact that he dissassociates in social situations, something that I, a real life autistic person who does NOT have superpowers, was NEVER experimented on, and have NEVER recieved any kind of training against telepathic powers also happen to do regularly.

Courtesy of mind.org;

What is dissociation?

Many people may experience dissociation (dissociate) during their life. If you dissociate, you may feel disconnected from yourself and the world around you. For example, you may feel detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal. Remember, everyone’s experience of dissociation is different. Dissociation is one way the mind copes with too much stress, such as during a traumatic event. There are also common, everyday experiences of dissociation that you may have. Examples of this are when you become so absorbed in a book or film that you lose awareness of your surroundings. Or when you drive a familiar route and arrive at your destination without any memory of how you got there. Experiences of dissociation can last for a short time (hours or days) or for much longer (weeks or months). Dissociation may be something that you experience for a short time while something traumatic is happening. But you also may have learned to dissociate as a way of coping with stressful experiences. This may be something that you’ve done since you were young.

[incinerator-deluxe]

Pinned Post - Important Things First; Personal Things Under the Cut

[LINKS TO PALESTINIAN FAMILIES’ GOFUNDMES]:

Amjad (@amjadshiltawu)

Youssef (@dima96yousef)

Maysaa (@tamer200333)

The Abushammalah family (@ahmed8311)

The Tahrawi family (@saratahrawi)

I don’t have very many followers on here at all, which is part of why I mistakenly remained almost completely silent wrt Palestine on social media until this week, but at the very least this list can function as a repository for GFM links that I can donate to when possible.

[MUTUAL AID LINKS]: https://www.tumblr.com/themandownstairs/751694483599572992/dune-popcorn-bucket

[This was the original post; I realized I should cut it when people started reblogging it to spread the GoFundMe links. I still want both at the top of my page, but obviously this takes less of a priority.]

Info post so I can have something at the top of my page …

Hi i’m Jack i’m 18 i’m Love rate uour music dot com … (my username is digitalreptile!! If you’re reading this we should be mutuals and send recommendations to each other and Suggest things for Lists!!! Consider it … !!!)

My name is a mashup of two of Dreamcrusher’s EP titles (Incinerator & Suicide Deluxe)

I loveeeee (esp hardcore) EDM & industrial music … as well as indie rock / pop !

More Specific Subgenres (in no real order): idm, industrial hip hop, art pop & art rock, digital hardcore, electro-industrial, post-punk, darkwave & ethereal wave, noise rock & experimental rock, power noise, ebm & aggrotech, electropop & synthpop, shoegaze, indietronica & glitch pop, minimal wave & minimal synth, goth rock, deconstructed club, dariacore, gabber, hexd, minimalism, dnb, post-metal … and So On And So Forth Into Perpetuity …

*bold = I’m interested in making music in this genre!!

[mission statement . More for myself than the General Public] . Future posts (I am probably going to be more active on here in the coming months…) will likely pertain to RateYourMusic Discourse (using that term largely in an unserious sense), my love for the website, & various musical & artistic Ideas upon which i will probably Not take action … as well as rambling about music or briefly expressing intebse love for a track or artist or album or wtvr

Tags List For Efficiency:

#birdposting [bird stuff, birdsona (?) stuff]

#rymposting [self-explanatory]

#musicposting [non-RYM-relevant musicposting]

#websiteposting [don’t think too hard about this … I am just a website at my core]

#artposting [others’ art]

#ideaposting [self-explanatory. Mostly so i can go back and see all of the things i wanted to do]

#me irl [relatable stuff that may or may not be related to websiteposting . Just because i am mostly the same person irl that i am online]

#mediaposting [related to nonmusic media. Including: Hannibal (2014), MLP:FIM]

#ogposting [non-reblogs]

#etcposting [anything else i want to reblog that isn’t categorizable]

#gofundmes [self-explanatory; extends to similar sites]

[rainbow-journalist]

Tw: spoilers, I guess

Howdy, Part two of the first post About my collection of drawings I made in the last 3 months, Post about my drawings of RAIN CODE. Some spoilers from the main game, cringe stuff, and my interpretation may not be to your liking, and sorry if I'm too excited, and make someone uncomfortable, you can ignore this shit blog.

Number One/Pre game Yuma:

Ah, I just loved your guys interpretation of the old version of Yuma having long hair, like, it's actually a really good man with long hair.

- Number One was an almost always serious person who never smiled.

- Always in the shadows, always alone.

- he didn't even eat his meals properly, he was always tired

- whenever he smiled, it was either a forced smile, or a calm smile

- he probably had a calm, mentor-like aura

- He and Makoto may know about many complex things, but basic things like: making friends, having fun, family, social things, they don't know.

- He clearly tied his hair up to look more mature, but he could have left it down.

Maybe I'll draw a picture of Yuma with long hair down.

Genderbend AU:

A simple drawing in my notebook, I've been thinking about what a female version of Makoyuma would be like, so I thought something like: "Yuma's hair could be long or in a tied hairstyle, he would be a well-behaved girl who would wear long clothes, such as a skirt down to his knees, While Makoto would have short hair than others and could have a say in wearing sexier clothes"

I've been thinking that female Makoto might be more badass than male Makoto, because everyone loves a female villain character, right? Simps. I think female Yomi would be more b*tch than female Makoto.

More Makoto drawings because I'm addicted to this poor guy.

I had downloaded a simple game, and I tried to make the character look like Makoto and I thought: "why not draw him in that outfit?" I did, what do you think? I thought the style of the game was cute. I don't remember the name.

Tw; pink blood....

Past Makoto:

Here's something distressing, I saw on Twitter a user asking to do more drawings of Makoto in his experimental era, and I did. It's kind of sad, I have ideas and headcanons of heavy themes about it.

His appearance was clearly meant to be the same as Yuma's, or the World Detective Organization's Number One. Whether it's short or long hair, it doesn't matter, this creature suffered, and I understand that he deserves all the love and affection.

Makoyuma, but they have this hair?

My friends on discord said that Makoto looked good with this hair, what do you think?

Ugh! Again??! I have to do part 3!

[kkartist]

Hello, I am now in deep for Path to Nowhere that I ended up writing a fic. An idea popped up in my head of having Coquelic & L.L interracting. As it won't leave me alone, I wrote it down.

Summary: LL's pet dog, Cabbage, slipped away in the night. So, the Sinner went out to find him. Journeying through the MBCC's hallway, she met someone else alongside the puppy. Little did she know that the encounter would lead to bathing with the Garden's Mentor.

Tags: LL & Coquelic, LL & Thistle, Coquelic & Thistle, Coquelic & Garofano, LL (Loreley), Coquelic, Sumire, Garofano, Cabbage, Bathing, Nudity, SFW, slight angst for LL, LL social training arc, Coquelic being wise, Coquelic being a tease, grandma Coco moment, LL being a disaster, LL going through it, Thistle is good baby, Blink and you miss it Thistle/Christina, mentioned: Luvia Ray, Serpent, Eleven, Shrooma, Cabernet, Chief (gender up to reader)

Word count: 3,804

You can click on this link to read on AO3.

Or continue reading it here.

Baby Steps

Notes: Spoiler to LL’s interrogation. Recommend to read LL’s interrogation/backstory before reading this. Minor spoiler to Flora Unfurl. This is my first fic for Path to Nowhere. The game ticks so many boxes for me that it’s now my favorite gacha.

With careful measured steps, the young woman treaded the hallway. Water dripped from the tips of her long blue hair and the edges of her white dress. Droplets forming onto the floor. Body brought low, head forward, and eyes focused. People would think she was a rookie agent from the 9th Agency.

Cabbage slipped away moments ago. After an instance of panic, LL made a decision. Splashing herself with hopefully enough water, she embarked on a mission to find the dog.

Luckily, the puppy left behind a trail of little paw prints for her to follow. All thanks to her bathroom, which was constantly wet. She prayed he didn't disturb anybody this late at night. Receiving complaints would be dreadful after she promised to take care of him.

She could now hear his steps. Those signature tiny patters and the little clang from the experimental prosthetic. Cabbage was near. She continued her pace in the direction until she saw the little creature with someone.

Anxiety kicked. LL immediately hid behind one of the large pots of red flowers lining the hallway. She peeked, trying to discern the scene. The person was crouching. Cabbage seemed to be reaching for something behind them.

"No, this is not for you. It's for Mentor," a young woman's voice. Cabbage whined.

"Sorry, I can't give this to you. But maybe, this will do?" She took something out from her pocket. Then, with her teeth, rip the wrapper apart.

Recognizing a treat, Cabbage jumped, tongue lolling out. He stopped a moment later and sat, his tail wagging. The change went unnoticed. "You can eat now, little guy," said the young woman, her hand offering him the food. Cabbage let a small yip and ate. His tiny tail continued swishing. "Good boy, someone trained you well huh?" she petted his head.

LL didn't recognize the person.  She’s 3 months in and her social circle didn't expand much. Chief was one of them, but busy schedule and constant kidnapping meant they didn’t hang out as much as she wanted to. Luvia Ray and Serpent made light hearted small talk to her on the few occasions she managed to venture outside. As much as she wanted to talk more, her condition didn’t allow her to be out of the tub for long. So, she had to excuse herself every time. Eleven helped during her offline transition but they didn't continue talking after the social obligation was done. Or it was more that LL didn’t know what to say to the radio personality beyond that.  It was nice of her to lend the device though and LL loves her show, the soothing voice never failed in helping her sleep. There’s Shrooma too. She was most comfortable talking with the little girl as they always met virtually. However, her curfew and school meant limited hours. From their conversations (or Shrooma’s rant), being a kid sounded tough. LL enjoyed listening to her regardless, imagining herself in situations she never got.

Getting to know other Sinners had been a challenge. Her social anxiety and disability were a sure recipe for loneliness. Five in 3 months out of 100+ Sinners currently contained within MBCC was an abysmal achievement. From the five, there’s two she could confidently call her friends. Wait. Scratch that. Maybe just one. With most of her time trapped in a tub, her version of getting to know, was reading Sinners' files from the Bureau's database.

Mentor. Mentor. Which file was-

"How long are you gonna hide there?"

LL jolted. Her head peeked out before diving back behind the flower pot.

"Hey, I know you're there," the voice got closer until it's beside her. "Is this dog yours?" The little dog trailed behind the person's feet.

"Cabbage!" At this, the dog ran towards LL. Picking him up eye level, LL's face fell victim to his licks. She pulled away, staring at him sternly, "Don't run off like that again, Cabbage. It's late and we don't want to disturb our neighbours. Now, say sorry to the nice lady," she placed Cabbage back to the floor then looked up at the young woman.

She wore multiple braids; bangs covering her left eye. The lower half of the hair is pinkish red while the upper stays natural black. Earrings decorated both ears. Her sleeveless crop top was adorned with a red bra. Flower tattoo visible on her hip. The slitted uneven skirt laid bare to the expanse of her right leg, if not for the fishnet stockings providing some kind of cover. The feet protected by a comfortable studded dress shoe. Tough yet elegant were the impression LL thought of.

Cabbage walked towards the black cladded woman. He stopped by her foot, his tiny face pressed against her leg. Then, with all the cuteness he could muster, he looked up with his sad puppy eyes. Her lips curled into a smile.

"No worries. He was very nice and friendly. I wouldn't mind playing with him again!" She glanced at the puppy before shifting her attention towards LL, "Don't think I've seen you before."

"Oh sorry! I'm LL," she offered her hand.

"Thistle," she replied, shaking it.

"Like the flower?" LL asked aloud.

"Yes, like the flower."

LL cringed at herself. Whatever was that?? Why didn't she thank her for Cabbage? Right, thank her. She should thank-

"I should go, Mentor's waiting for me,” their hands separated. “Nice meeting you, LL. Maybe next time, I can bring my dog too! Night!" Waving goodbye, Thistle walked away.

LL saw her leave. Not wanting to miss her chance, she rose and shouted, "Wait!"

But what came was a cry. She felt pain, like someone struck her legs with hot iron. Her muscles seized. She fell to the ground like a stranded fish. No no no no! She screamed in her mind.

Jaw clenched. Eyes hazy with tears. The fire spread through the rest of her body. She couldn't move her limbs. Defenseless and alone, her mind raced to one thing. She was going to die. She was going to die. She was going to-

"Hey hey hey. Stay with me," the friendly voice came back but now laced with worry. "What do you need? Tell me."

LL gathered her strength to open her mouth. "Ba...a...th"

Thistle nodded. LL felt her body being lifted up then moved at a fast speed. They entered a fancily decorated room filled with plants. Passing a large canopy bed covered with flower petals, Thistle beelined to a door.

“Mentor, it's an emergency. A Sinner is in need of the bath, please can you let us in?"

The door opened, a woman with long black hair stood behind it. LL felt heat permeating from within. Thistle wasted no time. She entered and LL felt her body being lowered.

Warm water touched her skin. Slowly, the fire was extinguished. She found her limbs working again, the muscles relaxing. Pain ebbed away, replaced with exhaustion and relief. In between breaths, she croaked a thank you.

Thistle exhaled, "Thank goodness."

"Sorry," LL said weakly.

"Don't be. I'm glad you are alright."

"Yes yes. Crisis averted." A voice interrupted them. 

Thistle froze. She turned her head. LL followed suit.

Two other women were in the room. One sitting on the edge of the pool. She wore a simple white shirt paired with a wine colored long skirt. Her wavy purple hair loosely tied low, cascading down her shoulder. Legs tucked underneath, comb in her hand, she was brushing the silver hair of the woman soaked in the water. Compared to her attendant, the other woman's skin was sickly pale, the veins visible under the light. Like beads of blood on top of snow, her piercing eyes were unnerving. And they were directed at Thistle. LL found herself becoming alert.

"Thistle, where is my present?" The pale woman asked sweetly.

"A-about that Mentor..."

"Yes?"

"itfell..."

"Can you repeat that?"

"It fell."

"So, go and pick it up."

"It’s... in the water."

A beat. They stared at each other.

"Then pick it up still! I don't want it to seep into the bath!" The Mentor shouted in disbelief.

Thistle dived immediately. Not long after, she climbed out of the water with a box in her hand. Her head bowed deep, pressed to the floor. "I'm so sorry, Mentor! I accept any punishment you deemed fit."

The woman sighed. She lifted her head, "Garofano, see if it needs salvaging." The woman behind her stood up, picked up the crumpled box, then left the room.

LL felt herself shrinking. She rarely received help after her parents left. But every time someone did, it just further reinforce how much of a burden she is. And now, the person that saved her was going to be punished. Why is she always so weak?

"It's my fault," she spoke up. Those reds drifted to her. "Please don't punish her. I... I can buy you a new one. Or I'll leave. Right now. If that's what you want. I'm really sorry."

The woman thought for a moment. "Will you accept the punishment in her stead?"

"I... Yes..." LL felt uneasy. What if she asked Chief to cut her internet time? She would miss that online auction event happening tomorrow! She needed that personal cutlery set belonging to Ms Cabernet. Calm down LL. Deep breath. It was an accident. Maybe she just wanted money.

"Take off your clothes and stay."

LL's mind grinded to a halt, "Sorry?"

"You heard me. It's bad manners to take a bath while dressed," she replied matter of factly.

LL blinked. Okay, this is... unexpected. Embarrassed but wishing to save Thistle from this predicament, she did what was told. The soaked dress now placed behind her.

Satisfied, the Mentor turned to Thistle who was still bowed, "Thistle, take that to dry. Then, go change."

"Yes, Mentor." Thistle stood and followed the set of orders. After that, she sat where Garofano was, continuing the task she left behind.

A knock. "Mentor, it's me."

"What's the matter?"

"A puppy is currently waiting in front of the bathroom door."

"Cabbage!" LL recalled the momentarily forgotten puppy. The Mentor looked at LL. Her eyes squinted just a little before she answered, "Come in, but don't let the dog in my water."

The black-haired woman entered, Cabbage in her arm. After closing the door, she walked towards LL. The long wide sleeves of her lilac sabrina dress cascade on each of her sides, flowing gracefully as she moved. The wide black belt around her waist accentuated her already long legs. Sophisticated and refined, her steps were slow with purpose. She knelt beside LL, head bowed slightly in greeting. Her silky hair curtaining her face, past her ribbon collared neck; its length reaching onto the ground. Then, she placed the puppy by the edge of the pool, near his caretaker.

Cabbage licked LL on her cheek. "Don't worry, lil’ buddy. I'm fine, see? Now keep away from the water, alright?" LL assured him. Cabbage let a small bark.. He turned around, jumped to the other woman's thigh, and laid on top.

"Sumire will take good care of it," the Mentor spoke.

"Oh that’s..." LL looked back. She immediately shifted her gaze, face heating up. Realization struck. The woman was also in a state of undress.

She had seen nudity. The internet was full of that. However, a moving image or virtual reality had a sense of distance. And that’s the scope LL was familiar with. Experiencing it with someone else offline was a different matter entirely. The situation just made her more self-aware where to place her sight. "I... uh... um... thank you," she finished abruptly.

LL kept her head away from the Mentor. From her peripheral vision, she saw those scarlet eyes burning her side. She shifted her arms around, trying to shield herself. Her body submerging bit by bit.

"Relax," a whisper. Sumire was looking at her softly, Cabbage already asleep on her lap. "We have no intention in killing you."

Kill? Where did that come from?

"That's...not what I’m worried about."

"Then why so skittish girl?" The Mentor chimed.

"I...um.... " She stole some glances towards the woman, blushing. ".... inexperienced?"

Laughter burst free from the Mentor. Chest heaving, mouth opened wide. The sound reverberated in the chamber, echoing throughout. It lasted for a minute until it gradually came to a stop. She wiped the corner of her eye with a finger. Her eyelids opened delicately. She looked at LL for a moment, grinning. Then, she stood up.

LL eyes widened. She twisted her head away so fast she heard a crack. Her pulse beat rapidly from the sudden exposure. Things just happened one after another so quickly that her heart felt like it's going to pop.

Suddenly, she felt a caress on the side of her jaw, applying enough force urging her to turn. Her sight immediately landed on the plains of toned stomach, a small scar crowning the navel. The Mentor’s petite body towered over her, arms pillared on each side confining her in. Realizing what had happened, LL gathered all her willpower to instantly shift her focus to the woman’s face.

The silver haired woman smiled knowingly.

"You can look. I know I am irresistible," her red eyes gleamed.

"Who knows, maybe next time…" she licked her upper lip, showing sharp canines.

"I’ll let you touch them," she purred to her prey’s ear.

LL felt her body temperature rose exponentially. She blue screened, her brain overheating by the seductive force inflicted on her by this unearthly beautiful woman. Face flushed to ear tips, mouth agape, she was unresponsive.

"Mentor, please don't tease her," Thistle's voice came from behind.

The Mentor backed away, cackling, "I can't help it, she's so adorable! Reminded me of my little Thistle back then."

"No, I wasn't!" Thistle exclaimed.

The Mentor sank back at her spot.

"Ah yes, all the things in that bath seemed so interesting to you. Eyes darting from one decoration to the next." She put the back of her hand on her forehead, sighing   dramatically, "I felt so lonely waiting for you to start lavishing my skin! If not for Sumire, I would’ve wilted from the lack of attention."

"Meentooor!" Thistle's face went red.

A giggle. LL tried to stop herself but was too late. The sound had slipped after she witnessed the exchange. She shut her mouth immediately, afraid of offending anyone.

"Now, now, don't hold back. Laugh your heart away,” The Mentor gestured towards the room. “After all, flowers grow best around them."

LL studied her surroundings. Flowers of different colors have bloomed beautifully. Red, white, yellow, purple. The walls were covered in them. The petals decorated the surface of the pool when they fell. Ripples expanding from the touch. Combined with the wood panelling surrounding the edges, it’s reminiscent of a framed painting exhibited in an art gallery. 

The warmth of the water. The tranquil undulation of its surface. The breathing of others. They felt alien.

To her, a bath is a necessity. It's a constant reminder of her disability. Her relief and pain. Her cage. Connections rust and break in it.

But here, she uncovered something. Sumire was gently petting the sleeping Cabbage. Her face, serene and calm. Thistle focused at work. Hands deftly handling the silver hair laid out in front of her. The Mentor's eyes closed, enjoying the sensation. The space fell into a comfortable silence. She felt peaceful. Like waves caressing the sand, it alleviates the ache within her heart.

"This is.... nice," LL broke the silence, surprising herself.

"Isn't it?" The Mentor replied. "It's nothing compared to what we had but, it's adequate."

"I just never..." LL’s mind wandered to her apartment. Her parents. The letter. "It’s... been a while since I had company."

The Mentor tilted her head, eyes opening slightly.

"I mean..." she let out a weak laugh. "Who would want to be stuck with me?"

LL's doubt and fear were out. A question compounded by years of trauma and oozing with self-hatred had cracked the atmosphere in the room. She silently cursed herself for ruining it.

"Flowers are beautiful. Many things in nature gathered around them," LL recognized the owner of the voice, she looked across. "Among them, those that seek harm. Parasites, for one," the Mentor glanced sideways, as if recalling something.

"They are dangerous when left be. Consuming life, little by little by little. Until there is nothing left. Then, they move to another. That is why it's important to deal with them quick." Her voice, light and decisive.

"However, there are those that help.” her expression softened. “Who diligently and attentively nurtured the flowers with patience. Rain or shine." She lifted her hand, a red flower, similar to the ones planted along the hallway, sprouted out of the open palm.

She set the blossom on the water. It floated and drifted away, charting the water’s surface, bumping to other petals along the way. She then looked at LL in the eyes, giving full attention, "You are in a richer soil now so choose well. When you see what you want, remember to grab it with your own two hands."

LL took a moment to absorb the words. The Mentor smiled. She stood up again which prompted LL to turn her head away in reflex. She heard a small laugh before the Mentor spoke, "Thistle, Sumire, escort our guest and her pet back." Footsteps, then the sound of an open door, "Pleasure to meet you, little fish."

-

LL leaned inside her bathtub. Her eyes reading the message she had typed on the terminal. It was only one sentence. A question. Yet, it took her the better part of the day arguing with herself whether the content was good enough or not.

It had been a week since then. Within that week, LL participated in the online auction, wondered if what happened was a fever dream, and then did her research. Finding all the info she needed wasn’t hard. The hard part was reading, compiling, and verifying them. Those were, unfortunately, not covered by her power.

The Garden, an all-women assassination group. Their involvement was extensive. The most notorious happened almost a year ago, that being The FAC serial killings and kidnapping of their director. All the handiwork of one individual. The Garden's current leader: the Mentor, Coquelic.

Fearsome, powerful, intimidating, selfish, hedonistic. These descriptions seemed fitting for the alluring woman. Yet in that bath, she witnessed a contradiction.

Is that why the Garden members followed her still? Why they were willing to feed into her selfishness? A yip snapped LL’s thought. She chuckled, “Okay, Cabbage, I’m doing it.” She needed to finish this task, lest she fell to the reprimand of the little puppy for the second time. It should have been done days ago but she set an important treatment for herself after she was outbid, it's called shopping.

A ritual of self-encouragement later, she checked her terminal for the fifth time. Still the same message. Searching through her contact, she inserted several names intended to be the recipients. Then, she reread the message for the sixth time. All good. LL took a deep breath. And press send.

-

"That was surprising. What you did the other day, Mentor," Garofano expressed.

"Our Thistle was the one who asked. I couldn't say no, could I?" she replied.

"But you let a stranger stay in the bath."

"I did let strangers stay before."

"Those were marks."

"Yes, seeing their face twisted into horror was so delectable."

"The scrubbing wasn't."

"I did reward all of you for a job well done, didn't I?" Coquelic retort with a faux surprise. Her fingers curled around her cup, eyes narrowed in distaste, "My tea is cold."

"Of course, Mentor." Garofano took the cup, emptying its content to the teapot. She then placed the pot on a mini stove. Coquelic watched, one arm supporting her head.

“Where’s Thistle?” asked Coquelic.

"She mentioned a gathering," Garofano answered, her focus on the thermometer she just inserted.

They were in Coquelic’s room. There was a setup with a round table and 5 chairs surrounding it. Cafeteria exists in the Bureau, but it was a public space and the style was uninspired. Here, Coquelic and her flowers made it to resemble a small replica of the Garden. A perfect place for a gathering of ex-assassins. At the moment, only two chairs were filled.

"Mentor,” the purple haired woman broke the silence. “If you miss her, you should let her know."

"I don't know what you are talking about," came a nonchalant reply.

The thermometer beeped. Garofano watched the numbers increase on the display. When it reached a certain point, she turned the fire off. After preparing the cup to be sufficiently warm, she poured the tea and served it to Coquelic.

Coquelic lifted the cup. The temperature was exactly how she preferred. Garofano did a wonderful job preparing the present Thistle bought for her. The salvaging was surprisingly minimal too. Thistle must’ve requested additional layering inside. 

Fragrant aroma wafted to her nose. She sighed in satisfaction and sipped. The liquid warming her body.

"Garofano."

"Yes, Mentor?"

Coquelic set the cup down to its saucer. Face reflected on the surface; she stilled for a moment. "Tell Thistle to come by tomorrow. Her tea brewing still needs work." She paused, "She could even bring that axe wielding barbarian if she wanted."

Garofano smiled, "Of course, Mentor. I'll let her know." 

-

The bar reached 100%. Photos appeared on the display. LL looked at each of them before stopping on one. She was in a portable pool along with five others.

Thistle was hugging a dog. It’s fur wet, tongue hanging out. Months ago, she found it in the Bureau injured. She was currently taking care of it until the wound fully healed. Serpent had a brown snake around her shoulder. She wanted a brightly colored one but was rejected by administration because their venoms were a danger to others. She relented after some persuasion from the Chief. Shrooma held a terrarium of mushrooms. Her lecture of why they’re considered pets still made LL laugh even now. Luvia Ray and Eleven didn’t own any pets. That is why, Manty was positioned between them so they wouldn’t feel left out when the picture was taken. Then there was her, right in the centre. In her arms, was Cabbage, the little pup that started everything. All of their expressions gave evidence to all the fun they had that day.

Ping! The notification stole LL’s attention. A message appeared in the group chat, a cute sticker accompanying it. Replies bubbled one by one, coalescing into a conversation. LL hovered her fingers over the keys. She smiled. The tub doesn’t feel as small anymore.

-

End notes:

Thank you so much for reading this fic! The idea of having these two interacting won’t leave my head so I got to do my due diligence. More content of Coquelic is never wrong.

I love Coquelic. She lives rent free in my head. I was analyzing her character like an unpaid researcher until an idea popped up. Coco loves taking a bath and you know who is always in the bath? LL.

LL has an interesting backstory that got revealed in the last chapter of Into the Blue. And, it also got locked away behind interrogation. Which honestly, I think was quite a shame. But it's gacha. I get it.

So, I'm putting the two of them in the same bath. As Coco is THE Mother of all time (or grandma), I thought LL could hear her wisdom so she can experience being guided and/or teased by a maternal figure in a way. The wisdom being related to LL’s situation.

I headcanon LL’s social training arc took longer. Because even though the interrogation did give a line about LL being more outgoing like her online persona, the duration it took wasn’t exactly mentioned. Let’s just say this moment happened after her offline transition was complete. So, talking directly is alright but she still has problems with making friends. Hopefully Coco’s interaction with LL feels believable as it's set up to be a push for LL.

Fun fact! My first impression of Coquelic was: I don't like her, such a fan service character. I read Flora Unfurl fully expecting to like Shalom cos lots of people sang praises for her. But Coquelic stole the show instead. This caused me to roll for her. Then, I read her interrogations. I cried and now, she is my favorite character. So, big round of applause to the writer (Dumpling Duck/Guo Tie Lao Shi). You changed me as a person.

[mercurial-thrills]

7 Writing Tips From An Amateur Writer

Let’s get to the point: I’m an amateur writer. I am unqualified to give professional advice on the art of storytelling, grammar, or syntax. My only published work is a letter to the editor from the newspaper. Writing advice comes better from proofreaders, editors, published authors, and English majors.

On the other hand, my experience as an amateur is filled with wisdom. I learned to write as I wrote unintended novellas and short stories, watching YouTube videos from other published authors, and editing my manuscripts with the tips I found online. By learning how to write, I learned other writing-related skills to improve my craft.

In this blog post, I have 7 writing tips for amateurs, by an amateur writer. Most of them came from my own experimentation and thought processes, others are adapted from non-writing related ideas on the Internet.

Focus on your own path. This is one of the most important writing tips, because people often get caught up in what others do, to the point where they forget about their own craft. The phenomenon of “comparisonitis” can leave us feeling drained after spending time comparing ourselves to other writers.

When you read a novel, keep in mind it has been edited to be neat and organized. When you see another amateur with a high word count on their NaNoWriMo novel, keep in mind you have different circumstances than them. Create your own goals and stick with them, making sure they are tailored to your own needs!

Write with quality in mind. Before I decided I wanted to write as a hobby, my “chapter books” ranged from 10 to 20 pages. When writing became my biggest passion in life, my first draft of Secrets came out as 60 pages. For reference, a page in Microsoft Word or Google Docs is usually 400 words long with the default font.

These stories helped me form an understanding of outlining, plotting, and character creation. Without these stories, I would not know how to develop my characters throughout the story and move the plot.

This is why I do not recommend for beginners to try NaNoWriMo when they recognize their passion. The focus on the 50,000 word count creates a heightened importance of words while putting plot development, setting, and characters on the back burner. However, that’s a topic for November.

Writing will not always be enjoyable. Writing is one of my favourite hobbies. Writing in my diary helps relax me after a stressful day. I vent my emotions and frustrations through my characters, reflecting my personality onto them. I care about my craft deeply, more so when the words flow smoothly. However, the words will not always be smooth.

Sometimes, it will frustrate you to fill a plot hole. Editing can be mind numbingly boring. Writing can sometimes leave you with anxiety, wondering if it is something you truly want to pursue. Writing will not always come easily. If you love writing, it is worth keeping around when it gets difficult.

Do not edit while writing a chapter. When it comes to writing, it is better to write out everything instead of pressing “backspace” every time you believe something sounds weird. Finish writing the chapter, or any chunk of writing, then go back and review it. As long as you are writing with an erasable object, you can always go back and change what your past self has written.

Back in my elementary school days, I overheard two fellow writers speaking about this issue, discussing how they always went to edit after writing a chapter. Remember: you do not need to edit a chapter after you have written it. Many authors on Authortube will recommend waiting a week to two months, or after the whole draft has been written. Personally, I choose not to edit after the draft is finally finished, and my waiting time depends on the piece of work.

Join a community of writers. This can be done through clubs at schools, social media, or online chat rooms. You can either be interacting often, or lurking. This will keep your brain in the mindset of “writing” and remind you of your craft. It can help you learn more about the craft of writing through simple conversations. This can help you make connections to other authors as well as potential beta readers.

When you are in a community, remember to be civil. Keep an open mind and give constructive criticism when wanted. If you make a mistake, apologize and move on from it.

Balance reading and writing. If you have looked online for writing advice, you know people recommend reading as a way to get better at writing. I agree with this, because it can help a young writer come up with ideas and understand how to write.

Before I started to write, I read voraciously. The reason I know so many dialogue tags is because of the Abby Hayes series by Anne Mazer. When I started writing more often, many of my ideas for Secrets came from the book Masterminds by Gordon Korman. If you read, you may start absorbing ideas from other authors and colliding them together to create your own, unique masterpiece.

And finally, enter a writing contest once you have developed your skills. As of January, I have never entered a writing contest. In fact, I never thought my writing would be worthy of a writing contest. After spending 5 years improving my craft, I am confident in my writing for it to be judged.

Winning isn’t everything in life, but preparing to win is important. If you decide to start publishing your novels, entering a writing contest will encourage you to edit and proofread your submission, making sure it is as perfect as possible.

A quick search for “creative writing contests” can bring quick results. If you are Canadian, CBC is an invaluable resource for writing contests. Wattpad has writing contests as well. These will be linked at the end of the article.

These 7 tips are unrelated to setting, character development, and plotting. Still, they are an important part of the writing journey. They all came from what helped me learn to write, and what I believe will benefit other amateur writers.

Does anyone else have any other advice to share? Let me, and others, know in the comments below. All advice and friendly debate is appreciated!

CBC Literary Prizes A Guide To Writing Prizes For Young Canadians | CBC Books Writing Contests On Wattpad

Wattpad Contests | Ambassadors

[icecreamisbetterwithafork]

Hello friends! It’s been a minute, I hope the summer has been treating you well. We have been busy with summer camps, playdates with friends, lots of gardening, cooking, and trying your stay cool in this San Diego humidity and heat, which as a native I never remember the weather being this hot or humid EVER growing up here as a kid! 

On the music front, there is much to be excited for on the horizon. For starters, I just released a beautiful collaboration track, Bobby My Friend, with an artist by the name of Leo Prakash. We met down at Playa Del Carmen, last December at a Wanderlust Palmaia. Leo was there for the week accompanying the yoga classes with live music and i was sitting in for a song, during the end of my friend Schuyler Grants yoga class, for Shavasana. Leo is an insanely talented multi-instrumentalist from Mexico, but grew up part of his childhood living in an Ashram in France. I was immediately captivated with his Sitar playing. We ended up chatting after class, and exchanging info with the hopes of doing a collaboration in the future. He ended up sending me this beautiful song for his friend, the late Bobby Klein, and asked me if I would like to accompany him on it. I loved this song from the beginning, and it was also a much different style than anything I have previously done before. The song was just released a couple weeks ago, give it a listen, I love it so much. 

Aside from that, I have some other exciting collabs coming out, as well as the new music I have been working on over the past 2-3 years co-written and produced by my friend (AND no biggie, one of my fav artists of all time!!!!), Trevor Hall. The first song of that project is set to drop at the end of this month. Stay tuned for deets and links coming soon! And definitely make sure you are following along on IG where I post the most, as well as following my artist profile on Spotify if you listen there, the song will also be released everywhere else music is available. I am so excited to share this new music with you all, it’s def a been a bit of an experimental sound and journey for me. But it has also re-awakened my creative process and flow. It feels unbound and intuitive and that in itself is exciting and inspiring. 

I will keep it at that for now, many of you have expressed your fondness for the days when I wrote my Tumblr posts, so I will try to do more of that! These days are a lot different from the ones when we were in our 20’s, i was on tour, single, free and wild! But if you have any questions or topics you would like me to touch on, I would love to be sharing things that might be helpful and useful. I took a step back from social media for the last couple years, because I realize how bombarded i/we are everyday with unwanted thoughts, opinions, and just all kids of stuff flying our way. I would really love to be sharing things that nourish and support this community and inspire a loving, kind, but also keep it real kind of connection. Life seems to get so much busier in the 40’s! So if you have any thoughts on that, please let me know! 

Sending love to all! Also, if you have reached out to get a bracelet and I haven’t responded, it’s because I literally haven’t had a moment to myself all summer with my kiddo not wanting to go to camp! Lol. I am planning to do another batch that will ship in September. I will email soon or email me again at info@tristanprettyman.com

As always thank you for being here! Big love - 💗

Tristan 

[therainbowwarrior4]

Why Transgender People Need Gender-Affirming Care (Essay I wrote for school)

According to the Human Rights Campaign, twenty-two states have passed laws that ban minors from receiving gender-affirming care. Gender-affirming care which includes, puberty blockers, synthetic hormones, and surgeries, are a safe and effective way to treat gender dysphoria, which is distress that results from having one’s gender identity not match their sex assigned at birth. The HRC states that, “Every single major medical organization, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association, supports the provision of age-appropriate, gender-affirming care for transgender and non-binary people.” It is essential for transgender people to receive gender-affirming care because it decreases the risk of substance abuse, improves mental health, and gives them the opportunity to be who they truly are. 

It is evident that transgender people are at a higher risk of substance abuse and mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety. According to one study, the use of any type of drug was 3.6 times more likely in transgender people than in cisgender people. Additionally, 47% of transgender adults reported binge-drinking in the last three months compared to 17% of the general population (Shannonhouse). However, a study also shows that gender-affirming surgeries can decrease the risk of substance abuse. A 35% decrease of past year tobacco smoking was found in transgender people who had one or more gender-affirming surgeries and a significant decrease in the odds of past-month binge alcohol abuse was observed when patients got all the surgeries they desired (“New Study Shows”). According to Columbia Psychiatry, “It is well documented that TGNB adolescents and young adults experience anxiety and depression, as well as suicidal ideation, at a much higher rate than their cisgender peers.” In 2020, the Trevor Project found that 54% of young people who identified as transgender seriously considered suicide, and 29% made an attempt on their lives. Despite this, numerous research studies have shown that gender-affirming care leads to improved mental health for transgender youth (Matouk and Wald). In addition to the numerous mental health benefits of letting transgender people access gender-affirming care, this care also allows transgender people to be who they really are. For example, Jaime Raines started testosterone when he was 17 years old. He describes how life was like before and after he started transitioning. “The two are incomparable really, life before transitioning felt like a struggle and I was constantly feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed about how I looked and how people perceived me. Life after, life now, is just me actually living my life as me” (“This transgender man”). 

Opponents of gender-affirming care argue that sex change drugs, meaning synthetic versions of testosterone and estrogen, are radical and experimental treatments. They state that these treatments are mutilating people’s bodies and that teenagers are not capable of consenting to these treatments (Surgeons). Furthermore, they attest that hormones are given to minors too quickly without any formal procedures to make sure it is in the best interest of the patient and sometimes even surgeries, such as double mastectomies, are being performed (Denny). Challengers to gender-affirming care also allege that some patients have underlying mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression, which are not being treated (Denny). They claim being transgender is a social contagion because of the amount of people now identifying that way. They also claim that it is mostly teenage girls that want this type of medical intervention because identifying this way is a collective behavior that is commonly seen in people who do not feel comfortable with their bodies (Surgeons). Lastly, they argue that many people regret transitioning and go on to detransition.

Proponents of gender-affirming care argue that hormones have been given to transgender people for decades. The first gender clinic in America was opened in 1966 and these hormones have been given to cisgender people long before that to help with certain conditions, such as menopause (Rosenthal). These hormones are safe for adolescents and adults as long as they are being monitored by a medical professional. Hormones are not usually prescribed until a patient turns eighteen. If they are prescribed in adolescence, it is with parental permission and support after going through the informed consent process (HRC Foundation). Double mastectomies are rarely performed on minors. If these surgeries are performed on 16- or 17-year-olds it is with parental support after talking to therapists, and surgeons. Surgeries involving genitalia are never performed on those under 18 (HRC Foundation). Anyone who wants to receive gender-affirming care is required to speak to a mental health professional before and during their transition. Dysphoria can worsen existing mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression. After talking to the patient, a doctor will make the decision regarding transitioning and if it will help the patient’s mental health (HRC Foundation). The idea that being transgender is a “social contagion” is called “Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria.” GRD has been thoroughly debunked and over 120 medical associations have issued statements calling for the elimination of this term (HRC Foundation). A study done by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that youth assigned female at birth are no more likely to identify as transgender then those assigned male at birth. Lastly, several studies have shown that the percentage of someone de-transitioning is quite rare. The regret rate of transition is as low as 1 or 2 percent (HRC Foundation).

In conclusion, gender-affirming care is life-saving care for transgender individuals. This care is safe, effective, and can be life changing. It decreases the risk of substance abuse, suicide, anxiety, depression, and allows transgender people to be who they truly are. If “to shine your brightest light is to be who you truly are” (Bennett), then should not everyone have a chance to shine their brightest light?

Works Cited

Bennett, Roy T. “Be Who You Truly Are.” The Light in the Heart, 25 Nov. 2018, thelightintheheart.wordpress.com/2018/11/25/be-who-you-truly-are-2/. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

Denny, Doreen. “Exposing the Lie of Gender-Affirming Care.” Restoring America, 13 Mar. 2023, www.washingtonexaminer.com/restoring-america/community-family/exposing-the-lie-of-gender-affirming-care?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Pmax_USA_High-Intent-Audience-Signals&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAmZGrBhAnEiwAo9qHiX8vNakZ_bQiz5rDsC-HxFlMyaTmQ2zs8cLde-oqFOfouZYQCoGxIxoCBo8QAvD_BwE. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

HRC Foundation. “Get the Facts on Gender-Affirming Care.” Human Rights Campaign, 22 Mar. 2023, www.hrc.org/resources/get-the-facts-on-gender-affirming-care. Accessed 6 Dec. 2023.

Matouk, Kareen, and Melina Wald. “Gender-Affirming Care Saves Lives.” Columbia University Department of Psychiatry, 30 Mar. 2022, www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/gender-affirming-care-saves-lives. Accessed 27 Nov. 2023.

“New Study Shows Transgender People Who Receive Gender-Affirming Surgery Are Significantly Less Likely to Experience Psychological Distress or Suicidal Ideation - Fenway Health: Health Care Is a Right, Not a Privilege.” Fenway Health, 28 Apr. 2021, fenwayhealth.org/new-study-shows-transgender-people-who-receive-gender-affirming-surgery-are-significantly-less-likely-to-experience-psychological-distress-or-suicidal-ideation/. Accessed 27 Nov. 2023.

Rosenthal, G. Samantha. “Gender-Affirming Care Has a Long History in the US – and Not Just for Transgender People.” The Conversation, 27 Mar. 2023, theconversation.com/gender-affirming-care-has-a-long-history-in-the-us-and-not-just-for-transgender-people-201752. Accessed 6 Dec. 2023.

Shannonhouse, Rebecca. “Substance Use Disorder in Transgender and Nonbinary People.” WebMD, 21 Apr. 2022, www.webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/substance-use-disorder-transgender-nonbinary. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

Surgeons, Association of American Physicians &. “Transgenderism: The New Medical Standard?” AAPS | Association of American Physicians and Surgeons, 25 Feb. 2023, aapsonline.org/transgenderism-the-new-medical-standard/. Accessed 6 Dec. 2023.

“The Trevor Project National Survey 2020.” Www.thetrevorproject.org, 2020, www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2020/?section=Suicide-Mental-Health. Accessed 27 Nov. 2023.

“This Transgender Man Documented His Amazing Journey on YouTube for over Five Years.” The Irish News, 8 July 2017, www.irishnews.com/magazine/daily/2017/07/08/news/this-transgender-man-documented-his-amazing-journey-on-youtube-for-over-five-years-1079578/. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

“Youth Assigned Female at Birth Are No More Likely to Identify as Transgender or Gender Diverse than Those Assigned Male at Birth: Study.” Www.aap.org, 3 Aug. 2022, www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/pediatrics2/2022/youth-assigned-female-at-birth-are-no-more-likely-to-identify-as-transgender-or-gender-diverse-than-those-assigned-male-at-birth-study/. Accessed 9 Dec. 2023.

[mikeywayarchive]

SDCC 2024: Mikey Way Rings in Holidays All Year Long with Christmas 365 (Interview)

By Justin Epps - Published Sep 7, 2024

Dark Horse Comics

☰ SUMMARY

• Christmas 365 from Dark Horse Comics releases this year, a festive series about a family celebrating Christmas all year round.  • Co-writer Mikey Way talks about the nostalgia and magic of Christmas, and the importance of family in his work.  • Way collaborates with Jonathan Rivera and Piotr Kowalski to craft a dream project embracing the 80s/90s Christmas movie feel.

Full interview under the cut:

Christmas has come early for Dark Horse Comics readers. During this year’s San Diego Comic-Con, the publisher revealed it would be releasing Christmas 365 later this year. This festive new series comes from the creative team of Mikey Way, Jonathan Rivera, Piotr Kowalski, Brad Simpson, and Joshua Reed.

Christmas 365 tells the story of a family who has gone through a particularly challenging year and their attempts to come back together through a Christmas season that lasts the whole year round. Screen Rant caught up with Christmas 365 co-writer Mikey Way and dug into his thoughts behind this unique holiday story.

Screen Rant: From the premise I'm guessing you're a big fan of Christmas. But why Christmas 365?

Mikey Way: As a child of the 80s, a lot of my favorite movies were Christmas movies. I think the holiday stuck with me, the the mythology of it, the imagery really resonated with me. I know I'm not alone on this, the world is obsessed with Christmas. You go in stores and the Christmas stuffs out in August. It was after 9/11 I noticed Christmas started earlier at the store. I remember taking a mental note of that. People needed it at that time. I feel like with social media people have been able to express their love of Christmas and find like-minded people that are like-minded. There's Christmas podcasts, there's Christmas basements.

Mikey Way: Anyway, child of the 80s. Christmas Story, Scrooged, Christmas Vacation, Gremlins, Die Hard, Santa Claus: The Movie, all those great Jim Henson movies. These were important stories to me. And so I've always had that itch in me to tell a Christmas story. And I think it was around 2013 I watched a bunch of Christmas movies in a row and it wasn't Christmas time, it was summertime, I think. I remember watching Home Alone and Christmas Vacation and being like "What stories are left to tell?". Then it hit me like a bolt. "What about a family that're kind of disconnected and one of them gets the the wild idea to celebrate it all year long?". Like that's gonna fix everything.

With Christmas, there's this effort to see the world through the eyes of a child and recapture that feeling of wonderment. Is that what you wanted from your story?

Mikey Way: It's the one month out of the year where you can forget about life's pressures a little bit. And there's wonder and magic and hope and promise. Especially when you have children. It's the Super Bowl. For a child things revolve around "Christmas is coming!". So getting to see it through my two girls' eyes...that's what it's all about. There's so many layers to it. It's a layered holiday. But it's just something that's so great. In a world full of gloom and doom, it's something that's just awesome and great. Like there's a velvet cloud around you in December. Even November.

Mikey Way: There's there's a lot of bad stuff that happens in the world. People get busy, people get stressed, people have responsibilities. And it's the time where you can celebrate being a family, celebrate the people you love, and you could show them how much you love them.

You're co writing this with Jonathan Rivera. Both of you guys did books for DC Young Animal which was definitely a more experimental line, but you guys are trying to tell a more grounded story here, correct?

Mikey Way: We're very like-minded. He went to art school with my brother. We all like the same stuff. Trainspotting, Britpop, Stone Temple Pilots, The Crow, action figures, X-Men, anime. Jon was a kindred spirit. He's one of my best friends in the world. He's someone I wanted to write a story with. This was the perfect opportunity because he feels the same way about this 80s/90s Christmas story. He's got the same itch to scratch.

Your previous book, Collapser, had a real strong family theme to it, which seems carry on in Christmas 365. What is it about family that speaks to you so strongly in your work?

Mikey Way: Family's everything. As you get older you start to realize that. And it plays into the holiday of Christmas. When it comes down to the family's all you got. You can have an important job. You can have all the material possessions in the world. You could have fancy this and that. But when it comes down to it, who's sitting at the dinner table with you? Those are who's important and the people that pick you up when you're needing it. They're there for you, you're there for them. So the family unit has always been something extremely important to me. Especially as I get older and have children and extended family. That's really all you got in this world and it's the most beautiful thing there is.

In addition to Rivera, you're also working with Piotr Kowalski. How was it crafting this dream project with him and his art?

Mikey Way: What's interesting about him is he's mostly a horror guy, really. When we got his artwork, most of the demonstration pages and pieces were horror and then I went on his Instagram recently and it's all horror and I'm like "It kind of works, because this is supposed to be an 80s/90s Christmas movie.". If you watch these movies, they're all dark and they always tried to sneak a horror element into it. In Home Alone there was the scary boiler.

For me, it was A Christmas Story when Ralphie goes on the slide and the Santa just boots him down.

Mikey Way: There's always a moment of playful scariness in those movies. So I think it fit the tone, because you want it to look a little VHS. I feel like he was able to tell it exactly. Like if we closed our eyes and we were envisioning Christmas 365 as a movie, that's what it would look like. Me and Jon saw his art and were like "This is the guy.".

You previously spoke about the influence of suburban genre movies like The Burbs and Better Off Dead. How did these movies inform your Christmas story?

Mikey Way: So the story goes me and my brother watched Better Off Dead probably a couple of times a week for years. That and One Crazy Summer, those those two movies for me and my brother were very important. There was this Gonzo stuff in it. It was a slightly grounded, suburban comedy that had all these kind of wacky, fantastical ideas in it. All those movies had a sport. Better Off Dead was skiing.

Oh, like Heathers and croquet?

Mikey Way: Team Wolf had basketball. They all had a sport. Also there's a weird claymation dream sequence, remember? There was all this weird stuff, but there's something about that movie that struck a chord with me and my brother and we watched it literally once or twice a week for decades. But yes, Savage Steve Holland was a big influence on me and Jon Rivera.

Christmas 365 #1 is available on December 4th from Dark Horse Comics.

[stephensmithuk]

The Sign of Four: The Episode of the Barrel

Victorian literature loves its fainting women. Was this down to overly tight corsets, ill health or someone just deciding to be dramatic for the sake of it? Possibly all of the three.

The woman Mary works for is not called Cecil Forrester. The conventions of this time were that women took their husband's legal identity. They certainly took their nationality, losing their own.

Forty-three is rather a large number of dogs to have. The RSPCA (which was a thing in 1888) would get involved if they knew about this facility today. Back then too.

The "wiper" or viper in this case is almost certainly Vipera berus aka the adder. Males are normally silvery-grey, females copper or brown. However, you can sometimes see black adders. If you want to see baldrics, go watch some Morris dancers.

The adder gives birth to live young (up to twenty at a time) and can live for over ten years. They are the only venomous snake of the three British native species, but for most humans, like Watson, a bite will just cause pain and inflammation. Ireland doesn't have any snake species at all, as the Irish Sea was too wide for them to get across.

The RSPCA would not approve of dropping an adder on someone as it would harm the adder. The police would not approve either.

It is legal to own a pet snake in the UK - indeed there are quite a lot of them - but you need a licence for the venomous ones today. This includes adders and all the viper family.

European badgers are different to the American ones. They are far more social, dig the most complex burrows and can also make a range of noises. They are also nocturnal, and they do bite if provoked. It is today illegal to have a pet badger, disturb their setts or injure them. Unless the government authorises a cull due to bovine TB, a controversial policy. Sadly, they frequently end up as roadkill.

It is legal to keep stoats, although controversial. They can kill animals much larger than themselves, like rabbits or birds. It is legal to kill them as a result.

Slow worms are legless lizards, not snakes despite their appearance. They do not have fangs. You could keep one as a pet, but not buy or sell one.

Sugar is not toxic to dogs but can cause problems in substantial amounts.

The penal colony on the Andaman Islands can really be compared to Devil's Island in French Guiana and should better known in the UK. The British sent many political prisoners, to wit independence activists, there from the 1857 Rebellion onwards. Crossing over the sea threatened devout Hindus with the loss of caste and the possibility of reincarnation, something known as "Kala pani". Arrivals would be put on chain gangs. Conditions would be harsh, with torture, medical experimentation, disease, and cruelty from the guards causing thousands of deaths. You could also be executed for trying to escape. Hunger strikes were common and responded to with force-feeding.

The worst prison at this time was on Viper Island, which contained solitary cells, whipping stands and stocks.

In 1872, a former police officer called Sher Ali Afridi sent there for murder after his death sentence, claiming he was acting on the instructions of Allah, assassinated the Viceroy of India, the 6th Earl of Mayo, who was inspecting the place. He had also wanted to kill the Superintendent but did not manage to do so. He was hanged a month later on Viper Island, where the gallows building still stands.

Viper Island lost its importance following the construction of the Cellular Jail at Port Blair, finished in 1906. That was also a very nasty prison, but it is beyond the scope of this post.

"Mohammedan" was a term used for Muslim in the West at the time, implying erroneously that Muslims worship their Prophet. They certainly hold him in great reverence, but they do not worship him.

Guess people started drinking early in Victorian times; licencing hours would not be introduced until the First World War.

The Oval is an international cricket ground in Kennington, the other famous ground in London along with Lord's. It traditionally hosts the final Test of the English cricket season and after getting gas lighting in 1889, it would get a Tube station nearby originally called Kennington Oval the following year, when the initial stretch of the City & South London Railway opened. Today, just being Oval and on the Northern line, it has cricket-related decorations on some of the tiling.

The land the Oval is on is owned by the Duchy of Cornwall, the large property portfolio belonging to the Duke of Cornwall, the title given to the eldest son of the British monarch; this currently being Prince William, who is also Prince of Wales, that title trumping it.

Coal-tar creosote has traditionally been used as a preservative to stop wood rotting when outdoors, something necessary in the wet British climate. It was also used in dentistry!

However, it was discovered to cause cancer. While still allowed for general use by the US Environmental Protection Agency, the EU banned its sale to and use by the regular public in 2003. The UK carried over this law after Brexit. Coal-tar creosote products can only be sold to certified professionals for specific uses, like farm fencing and railway sleepers. The public have to buy substitutes like Ronseal, whose famous advertising slogan declares "it does exactly what it says on the tin".