#of course they were going to do a romance

[bri-licious08]

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ⊹ ࣪ ˖♡The Heart Knows♡⊹ ࣪ ˖

⊹ ࣪ ˖Bakugou x Reader⊹ ࣪ ˖

Contains: Some cursing, aged up characters! 3rd years in U.A. , other than that it’s nothing but fluff :) Happy reading! /^~^/

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Bakugou Katsuki wondered the halls of U.A. He walked these halls every day during the week. From going to class, the restroom, training grounds, cafeteria, the school’s gym, and the support course class. Not once has these halls ever felt different to him, different in the sense of being bare, empty or dark, scarce or lonely. But things changed, and that scared him. His life was great, he was doing great with being the greatest, but now he felt far from it. This feeling was foreign and new and he hated it. He was frustrated to no end only because he couldn't explain to himself let alone anyone why, how, or what he was feeling. He just didn’t know.

What he did know, was they started because of her. Y/n, L/n. Known for her beauty and wits, strength and grades, personality and skills, quirk and talents, she was well known within U.A. let alone the streets of Japan as an upcoming Hero. He knew that, she knew that, hell everyone knew that. Maybe that's why it made it even more difficult to be around her. The fact that everyone wanted to befriend her, talk to her, and know her. There was something special about you that everyone wanted to see, including him. Of course, he wasn't the only one, and that's what aided in the difficulty of things.

For some odd reason, Bakugou always found you, sought you, heard you. How or why he couldn’t tell, he just did. Oh, the class lost sight of you at the mall, there you were at the pet shop a few stores behind, how did they miss you? In a giant crowd at the ice rink, he peeked over a bunch of heads until he found you rather quickly, zooming through the extras trying to learn or just skating decently. Walking by the common room of the dorms, he heard you gossiping about some character from a stupid romance manga you were gushing about with Mina. Later that day he looked up the character name and found out the name of the manga.

For Christmas he happened to get you for the Secret Santa crap everyone decided to do this year, seeing how you all lived with each other and it was your first Christmas together. Of course, he bought you the new volume that was just released last week. Before he purchased it he made sure you hadn’t bought it yet through Kirishima. He also got you a basket of your favorite snacks, (he asked Kirishima who asked Mina, again) along with a soft cozy blanket with your favorite anime character. He always heard you talking about them. He considered watching that anime, but lately, he’s been too busy with life to sit down and watch it.

His spending wasn’t in vain as he watched your smile brighten to something he could only describe as bright, causing his pupils to dilate as he watched you smile. Ironically it was Christmas which supposedly made everything about the holiday “Merry and Bright”. But it was odd. Odd how his face heated so much and he wasn’t even close to the heater. His whole body went hot as his back straightened quickly. His palms grew sweatier than normal as sweat dripped down his forehead. A lump suddenly formed in his throat as he watched you jump excitedly around the room, holding the basket he gifted close to your chest. Oggling it with stars in your eyes as you squealed in absolute glee.

He looked down at you as you expressed your absolute glee about his gift and he couldn’t help but smile at you. Not smirk, smile with his dilated pupils and a faint blush on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He believed that that moment, the way you looked up at him after jumping around happily, wide-eyed and lips slightly parted, doe innocent e/c eyes staring up at him, long curled lashes batting slowly at him, pink lips parted for a second before widening into the widest, brightest, happiest smile he’d ever seen, he believes that that moment, that exact moment was when his views of you changed. 

At first, you were a nobody, a classmate, then an acquaintance, then somewhat of a friend, and now, his gift for a long holiday during the winter seemed to have sparked something between you two, but what was the cherry on top was your gift to him. A black scarf with two orange stripes crossing into an X as it started from the top and ended at the bottom, along with a rare limited edition golden All-might figure, and two small black beads? Yeah, beads. He looked at you confused as he took the beads out of their small case, which was velvet black and had an orange X on it too.

He peered down at you puzzled, but your warm smile, made him nod his head in thanks. Your small hand carefully grasped his, as your other grabbed the case and opened it revealing the beads once again, carefully taking them out and putting them in your palm. You then looked into his eyes making him hold his breath. What were you doing? Were you going to knee his face? Slap him? What? He then realized you had put the beads in his ear as he heard a slight ringing sound that made him hiss. 

“Sorry! Wrong button!” You apologized as you tapped one of the beads in his ear and all went silent, but not too silent. This noise sounded different.

“These are special kinds of hearing aids. I had Mae Hatsume help me develop them. I had originally asked her to make grenade silencers for your grenade gauntlets, but it was taking much longer to make than we realized, Kirishima had told me that you mentioned your ears ringing sometimes during training or a fight or class and I'm guessing it was because of your explosions, so I wanted to help you with that. Your silencers are still being made, but Hatsume and I made these hearing aids for you, for the meantime. Well she made them I just designed it. They work to block out loud noises but still allow you to hear anything and everything else. They just reduce the loud noise of explosions and such. I-I umm, hope I didn’t offend you with these gifts. I just thought, that maybe, they would help, and you would appreciate them... I don’t know what you like, but, I feel like you would have liked to receive something useful rather than something that would collect dust, I just bought the Allmight figure as a failed backup... Oh! And I made the scarf myself! My grandmother helped me sew it. I-I hope you like them Bakugou! Merry Christmas!” 

That moment was the moment that changed forever. Since then he has followed you around like a lost puppy. You guys hung out 24/7. Like peas in a pod. You both became known as best friends to your classmates and the school. You were always seen together. Never one of you was ever without the other, and he’d grown very used to that. Did you want to go to 7/11? Okay, let's go. Want to try a new restaurant that opened up downtown? Let him grab the scarf you made him, it's a little cold out. Going to a family barbeque, he was invited without hesitation.

Although he was nervous about meeting your family, it ended up being a success. (meaning him beating all your little cousins in Mario Kart and your father and uncles in pool). He had to attend one of his parents' god-awful fashion shows, you're coming with him. You always had to be there, and he was okay with that. Your time together ended up being a normal thing, it was weird when you guys weren’t together. For the both of you.

At first, he just thought that the both of you spending time alone in each other's dorms playing video games or watching shows on Netflix was just a friend thing, you guys were just friends. He said it over and over and over. 

“ Heyyyy kachannnn, you and Y/n huh? Somethin’ special goin’ on there? Huh? Huhhhhh?” Denki nudged Bakugou, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Of course not you dunce, she’s just a friend you moron,”

He convinced everyone including himself you were just a friend. And of course, you were. Everything you guys do is something all friends do! Nothing special about it. That was until he experienced firsthand and realized that you’re both High School students, attending school, training to be heroes, but you attend a HIGH SCHOOL. Teenagers in school, of course, guys were going to be after you. So why was it a shocker when some stupid extra tried to fucking confess in front of him?!

Okay, maybe not in front of him, but in the empty hallway after school hours? Didn’t this moron know you both walk together? Doesn’t this fucking idiot know he doesn’t have a slight chance with you? This guy’s probably 5,5, he’s got black hair that has a lot of dandruff, which makes it look like he has lice, but it's probably from all that gel he has on. He’s got pimples on his forehead and one of his ears looks bigger than the other.

Okay, Bakugou isn’t normally that much of an asshole but come on! This guy’s arms aren’t even close to the size of Bakugou’s waist, and his waist is TINY! He couldn’t help but wait back in class 1-A and overhear what you were going to respond with.

“Huh? You- like me? I’m sorry but I don’t even know you?” You said innocently but truthfully. You were right, you didn’t know this moron, but common, couldn't you just reject his sorry ass already?

“What if you get to know me?” Is he serious? Like hell, Bakugou would let tha-

“Hmm. I’m sorry but I don’t think so. I don’t have time to go on dates right now. I also would have to turn down your offer because I don’t feel like I’d reciprocate your feelings even if we did get to know each other, have a good rest of your day though!” 

“B-But, please! Tell me this, does your heart already belong to someone?” 

Uh oh, now his heart was racing, much more with fear than curiosity.

“That’s my secret to hold and to keep, sorry. Bakugou, you can come on out now!”

“W-What?” He breathed a mere whisper out in shock and surprise.

“Hey Bakugou!” The girl smiled brightly at him. The kind of smile that would make any man or woman swoon over. 

“H-Hey, umm, how did you-” 

“I just knew, plus your massive arms and shoulders were peeking out from behind the trash can Bakugou, you’re not exactly a small person,” You giggled, placing your delicate hand over your mouth as you giggled.

You looked absolutely beautiful. Bakugou’s only wish now is to continue to make you laugh and stifle your giggles for the rest of your lives. Bakugou blushed at your comment. 

“A-anyways, let’s get a move on. 'M starving,” He grumbled as he began to walk past you.

Catching up with him you began conversing with him on the walk to the dorms. The two of you entered and headed to the kitchen where he began to cook food for the two of you. It’s been a normal thing that began after Christmas. The two of you then ate a wonderfully delicious meal. After eating and cleaning up you both headed up to your dorm to study per usual. Once you both entered you flopped onto your bed as Katsuki took a seat on your desk chair and turned it to face your bed instead of the desk, as you both always do. You started up another conversation but after a while noticed that your blonde-headed friend was quiet. To quiet.

Your brow quirked up in interest and confusion as you studied him. His brows furrowed, and his lips formed a small pout as his hands gripped his notebook and pencil tighter than usual. You observed him closely, noticing the difference in his usual expression most would see as his normal cranky self. But to you, you knew something was bothering him. 

“Bakugou,” You called his name softly, catching his attention.

“Hmph.” He grumbled as his eyes glared at his empty notebook paper.

Your brows furrowed more as your concern for your blonde friend grew. 

“Katsuki.” His ears perked at your call of his name.

You could swear you saw them twitch like a dog when called on. He visibly stiffened at your call of his first name as he gulped, causing his Adam's apple to move beautifully. His red ruby eyes stilled as they stayed locked onto the notebook in his hands. His body felt hot and cold at the same time. Nervous. He was nervous and he couldn’t understand why. Katsuki Bakugou was no coward. No pussy. Not one to succumb to fear or nerves but with you, sweet and wonderful you, seem to be the only thing that can make him freeze with just a call of his name. 

“Hmm,” He responded, choosing to hum rather than to speak knowing his voice would fail him. Why was he so, why was he acting like such a moron. He’s always been fine before. Able to pull his shit together around you. When did this happen? When did he become such a loser around you? He had a guess...

“Are…Are you okay?” Your soft voice asked, he swallowed the lump in his throat as his eyes flickered up to the bottom half of your seated body and retreated back to his empty notebook, afraid to make eye contact with you.

“ ‘M fine.” 

“Are you?”

“Why you naggin’ me,” He growled as his eyes snapped up to meet yours.

Your beautiful e/c ones. He inaudibly gulped as his sudden annoyed confidence faded under your gaze. Your concerned and saddened eyes broke his stern and aggressive wall. His lips parted to say something but his voice failed to word anything. To be fair he didn’t even know what he wanted to say. What to say?

“L/n-”

“Are you upset with me?”

“Huh-what-?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No, why would you-”

“Then do you hate me? Did I annoy you?”

“What?! Of course not- No you didn’t-” “Then what did I do? You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. You can leave you don’t have to stay with me,”

“L/n hold on-”

“I’m sorry if I annoy you by dragging you to study with me,”

“L/n easy- just let me talk-”

“I’ll stop bugging you if you want. I won’t talk anymore,”

“Y/n!” He called your name firmly with a louder tone. His hand had flown to your face as it covered your mouth.

His face was close to yours as his eyes honed into yours. Soft pools of ruby waters danced in his irises under the dim lights of your desk lamp and fairy lights around your room. You swallowed the lump of nerves caught in your throat as your eyes widened at his action. The space between the both of you was small, your bodies so close you could feel his body heat. His firm yet soft gaze sent shivers down your spine and throughout your body.The sound of his throat clearing was loud within the quiet room causing you to snap out of your little daze.

“Why’d you freak out on me huh?” He asked softly as he removed his hand from your mouth slowly.

He moved to sit down on your bed comfortably. His feet planted on the floor as he hunched his body and titled his head slightly as he looked to his right side at you. With your legs crossed and a hunched back, you turned your head to the left to speak to him.

“I-I don’t know. You’ve just been acting weird today. You’ve been quiet. It worried me.” You answered in a hushed tone. Your eyes were looking down to avoid eye contact. 

You heard him scoff a slight chuckle as your eyes flickered up to see his small smile and his eyes dimmed to a soft gaze. Your head perked up slowly at this newfound expression with curiosity. 

“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought you were.”

“H-Hey!”

“Y/n, how could I ever hate you?” 

“Oh, I-I don’t know…”

“It’s not possible. You annoying me or upsetting me is most definitely possible-”

“Hey! Asshole-”

“But- hating you can never happen you dummy.” He smiled softly.

Your heart began to beat faster than it ever had before, and you’ve been through multiple wars against villains, and even then your heart had never beat as quickly and harshly as it was now. 

“Never?”

“Tch. Ya heard me the first time nerd.” He smirked. His response caused you to giggle airily. 

“Well, if that wasn’t the problem, then what is it that’s made you act so, weird?”

“So bein’ quiet is weird?”

“Noo but you being quiet is.”

“Well, it’s gonna stay that way.”

“Aren’t I your best friend?” you smiled like a Cheshire cat.

“Yeah, but that’s the-” Before he could finish his sentence a knock was heard at your door causing you both to look towards the noise. 

“What bad timing,” You murmured as you hopped off your bed to go and answer the knock.

“Wait- just let it-”

Before Bakugou could finish his sentence you opened your door to reveal a tall redheaded male smiling down at you nervously.

“Hey L/n, you got a minute?” Kirishima Eijiro. His strong tone was undoubtedly recognizable.

It caused Katsuki to stiffen at the sound as he hid behind your closet wall, blocking his view of the two of you and vice versa. 

“Uhh,” You started as you turned to see Bakugou missing before turning back to Kirishima. 

“Y-Yeah sure,” You stuttered as you stepped out of your room to speak to the male properly, closing your door softly behind you.

Katsuki quickly yet quietly moved to the door as he pressed his ear against it, trying to eavesdrop on you and the redhead's conversation. 

“What’s up?” You asked.

“Uhh, man I don’t know how to ask this… Would you like to go out with me?” Kirishima muttered before he spat quickly. Shutting his eyes as his shoulders stiffened nervously. 

“Oh, is the Baku-Squad hanging out?” You asked innocently and obliviously, not understanding what he was asking. 

“Huh? O-Oh! No, no I mean. Uhh- I would like to take you out…Just us…Like- like a date..” The redhead blushed as his hand scratched the back of his nape nervously.

At the realization, your eyes widened. All thoughts and concerns of Bakugou left as red alarms blared off inside your head. What.Was.Happening. After what felt like forever you closed your opened mouth to salivate the dryness of your throat and lips before opening it again to respond to your close friend before the sound of your door clicking and swinging open interrupted you. 

“She’s busy,” A gruff voice bellowed as a hand grabbed your arm and swung you back into your room. The red-headed male blinked rapidly a few times in confusion at what just happened. 

“Ow, you dick, that hurt!” You shouted as you stumbled to the floor of your room from the sheer force Bakugou threw you in with. The blonde brute just rolled his eyes as he leaned against the wall of your room, crossing his arms over his chiseled pecs. 

“You can’t date him Y/n,” He muttered. His blonde spiky locks cascaded his eyes as he looked towards the ground, avoiding eye contact.

“W-What?” You asked because you missed what he said. 

“You can’t date him…”

“O-Oh, you mean Kirishima?” He didn’t respond, just barely nodded his head once, still avoiding eye contact.

You then got yourself up and off the ground as you slowly and carefully pulled your desk chair to face you as you sat down on it. Your eyebrows creased as you noticed Bakugou’s avoidance of eye contact. 

“And why can’t I?” You asked meekly with slight confusion in your tone. You watched as he gulped and his body stiffened. He’s been doing that a lot tonight, something he never does. 

“Alright, I’m tired of this. If you’re just gonna play dumb every time I ask you something but tell me what I can and can’t do you can just leave Bakugou,” You asserted, arms crossed over your chest and your face held a stern expression. 

At this Katsuki lifted his head quickly to meet your gaze. His mouth parted as his eyebrows creased more with worry in his eyes. What was he doing? You were right. He had no right to prevent your happiness with other males, so why was he doing this? You are his best friend and so is Kirishima.

You both are amazing people and truthfully, you both would make such a great couple. Your chemistry on the battlefield would be incredible let alone your relationship. You both would set the couple standard and he could already picture the billboards of Japan plastering your bodies hugging lovingly with a giant “Japan’s Perfect Hero Couple” printed above your heads. The thought made his head dizzy and his heart constrict painfully.

He was finally understanding that he didn’t want you to have that with Kirishima or anyone but with him. He wanted to be the one jumping from building to building by your side while out on patrols. He wanted to be saving people with you as a perfect duo. He wanted to watch movies in private with a tub of your favorite ice cream to share. He wanted to get you your dream dog and cat for your birthday. He wanted to share his dreams with you as soon as he wakes up and vice versa. He wants to share every Christmas with you and be each others personal Secret Santa for the rest of his days. He wanted this feeling of loneliness when he's not with you to go away and be filled with just you. He doesn’t want these stupid extras to share any of this with you because he-

His eyes widened. His heart stopped for a second as he finally came to a realization. You’re not just a friend. You never were just a friend. Katsuki Bakugou had been in love with you for two Christmases. Two whole years. He followed you around because he loved you. He made mental notes of your favorite things because he loved you. He treasured the scarf you hand-made him because he loved you. He kept his lock screen that you jokingly changed to the both of you posing up as a badass hero duo that you both took in professional side kick photo shoots because he loved you.

Katsuki fucking Bakugou had been in love with you for years and he never realized it until some boys started to try and take you away from him. He needs to make a reminder to smack himself later for realizing so late like a dumbass, but for now, he needs to tell you before he ruins his friendship with you. 

“I’m in love with you,” He voiced.

Your heart stopped. Your body felt like it was on fire and your eyes widened larger than they ever had before. Your skin tingled and your face grew hot. What? What did he say?

“What?” You asked in a hushed tone, not quite sure if what you heard was correct.

“I love you,” He repeated softly, his gaze as soft as when he sleeps. The tips of his lips creak into a smile barely visible.

If anyone were to see him they’d see him loom calm for once, but you, you could see it clear as day, and that ever-so-tiny smile was just about one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen. He looked absolutely divine. Your dim room lighting aids in his godlike features.

This boy whom you’ve know for a few years became your everything in mere seconds, and I’m not just talking about this second. Since before your first Christmas together, this boy had been a stranger, then a friend, then a crush, then a crush within a best friend, and now, he’ll be your everything if you let him, because he so desperately wants to be.

“Don’t play with me Bakugou,”

“I’m not. ‘Dya really think I’d just go up to anyone spoutin’ this shit? I’m not a sappy guy everyone in this god damn world knows that, but fuck Y/n, you make me unable to think properly when I’m around you,”

“Is that why you think you’re in love with me?”

“No. I know. I’ve been knowing. Just been an idiot not realizing it sooner,” He muttered the last bit lowly yet still audibly. 

“ ‘M sorry…” He murmured as his hand slowly and carefully not to startle you, came up to gently clasp your hand in his.

His carmine-colored eyes gazed at your hands joined together. His fingers imprinting the feel of yours and engraving into his mind for if you reject him and his feelings, at least he’ll have this in his mind for the rest of his lonely days. You wouldn’t allow that.

The sound of your sniffles causes his head and eyes to snap back up to meet your precious e/c ones. He immediately took notice of your teared-up eyes as he visibly grew stressed.

“Hey, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Why’re you crying?” He tried comforting you gently as he spoke ever so softly.

His rough palms met your pillowy cheeks as his thumbs reached to rub at your bottom eye socket, trying his best to soothe you.

“ ‘M not crying,” You murmured as you placed your hands on top of his that cradled your face.

Your eyes gazed up into his. The silence was so loud yet quiet. The atmosphere was no longer anxious but tranquil. Finally, finally you had this boy who held your heart all this time. 

“I’m in love with you too…Dummy,” You smiled softly at him.

He scoffed playfully as he inched his forehead to meet yours. He gazed into your eyes and just felt a spark. He leaned forward to get a better angle to press his lips onto yours. His heart and head were no longer in a battle with each other, cuz from the start his heart knew. It was always you…

“Aaaaand with that, my job here is done,” the manly red-headed male grinned as he backed away from your dorm room door. Humming a happy tune as he placed his hands behind his head and walked triumphantly down the hall…

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I hope y'all liked this story as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you liked this one you also might like another story of mine called “The Dare”. It can be found on my master list! Thank you for reading my story and if you liked it please let me know! I love feedback and it’s what motivates me to write more stories for y'all to enjoy! If any of y'all would like to see me write a specific kind of trope and story line please give me your ideas of what you’d want to read! Thank you and please come again! /^~^/

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[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x07 Ocean's Apart (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Ocean's Apart

It just occurred to me that this scene does not take place in the normal Bridgerton drawing room. Is this Hastings House? Or another room in the Bridgerton home? I haven't paid enough attention to Daphne's story line to notice.

Anyway... Daphne makes good on her promise and has arranged a meeting between Colin and Marina. And I should note the title of the episode -- ocean's apart. It is, of course, a nod to Daphne and Simon's issues, but also to Colin and Marina. And... as I brought up in the previous post -- a nod to the Leander and Hero myth, where the two lovers are split by the ocean. Simon and Daphne, obviously, will find their way back to each other. But Colin and Marina truly are ocean's apart. They are just not meant for each other, and this scene is going to close the book on their romantic story.

Colin starts out by asking for confirmation about the pregnancy. But his wording of it is interesting -- Lady Whistledown cannot be true. Right? Right??? He's so deeply in denial, despite everyone around him telling him otherwise. There was an ounce of hope he had in the faith he had in his own love that the pregnancy was a made up lie to scorn him (them).

Marina is done with the lying. She didn't even want to be there, and is only there because Daphne requested her and she can't really say no to a duchess. She tells Colin the pregnancy is real, and Colin's whole world shifts in that moment (and a nice bit of physicality as Colin himself shifts).

He kind of stutters, asking her really - you're with child? He looks her up and down, too, as if wanting physical proof of this.

Then he says something that is very telling -- 'I do not understand, we were to be wed. You said you loved me.'

And this is where Colin's romantic nature is his undoing. First of all, marriage and love are inextricably linked. You agree to marriage than you agree that love is its basis. In a time where it really was rare, that is one of the values that is at Colin's core. And it shakes him to his very core that Marina lied to him.

Marina tells him - I hold you in the highest regard. Admitting, though, that she does not love him. And that is when Colin's heart is truly breaking. If she had been pregnant and still wanted to get married, was actually in love with him, he could continue playing the romantic hero, could continue drowning in his own love. But she's ripping the mask of the rouse now. She used him, yes manipulated him, and yes used his own love to her advantage.

He gets angry, but it's retrained but emotional. Colin isn't a lash out kind of guy, not like Simon or Anthony. But he does show his hurt visibly, and the words come pouring out as he tries to sort out the situation. He is at an utter loss that she doesn't feel the same way, he's processing all the lies, and claims she's committed a great sin - and it's funny, that yes, the sin is being with child out of wedlock and using someone to cover it up... yes, the sin is, in general, lying. But what it is the most for Colin -- what hurts him the deepest, is lying about love him back.

Colin lives for love. He feels love deeply. He wants to be loved back just as deeply. And for Marina to cast that all aside, to claim she was not there in it with him, feels like the biggest part of the betrayal.

Marina lays down a huge dose of reality though. She stands up for herself, claiming she's not going to allow herself to be shamed by either Colin or Daphne (who isn't really reading in the corner). And while they may think she's a villain, the situation just isn't black and white like that. She takes a moment for herself, when she says that no one ever led her in the right direction, and no one taught her any better - so she's been trying to do what's best for herself.

And it's important to note that Marina did like Colin as a person. She picked him because he was kind and empathetic. That she does appreciate the depth of how he loves. But in all of this, not only was she needing to look after herself and her unborn child, her heart had been utterly broken. And she just cannot with the idyllic love. She cannot with how Colin lives in the clouds with his fantasies. Her reality is a much, much darker place.

The more she talks, the more his heart breaks, and you can see him start to well up. And this is when the emotion, the betrayal, the hurt, the anger really come out. He mocks her a bit when starts saying that he should feel lucky that she chose him? And, it's interesting, as he yells at her, it gets more emotional and for a moment slightly unhinged, and then he immediately pulls himself back and recomposes himself. Another reminder that even at the height of emotion, Colin always pulls inward.

After he collects himself, he tells her, basically, that he's done with her. (It's deliciously dramatic, lol)

She doesn't really have anything else to say, either. But she's upset, too. It's an emotional confrontation. She's sad for herself and her situation. But she truly never really wanted him to be hurt by any of it either. She wasn't being malicious. She was looking out for herself. And now it's all unraveling and she's alone again.

As Colin moves to leave, he pauses and turns one more time to her to say -- the ironic thing is that if she had told him about her situation, he'd have still married her. Because he loves her that much.

And here's my thing about that....

First of all, note the present tense when he says 'that is how in love I believe myself to be'. His heart is shattered, but that love he (thinks he) feels is still very real and still very present. And it's going to take going to Greece to get over it (and even then he won't really be over it until she again firmly shuts the door on him a second time).

Colin loves love and wants love so badly that he's holding onto things that aren't good for him because the alternative is not having that love at all, and he really just doesn't know what to do with it.

The second thing is that hero complex that's coming into play -- the fact that saving her from her predicament means that he'd have self worth. He places a lot of his self worth on his ability to help others, and it's reiterated in this sentiment. If you hadn't deceived me, I would have helped you, I would have been your hero, I would have done anything and everything for you. Because Colin seems to believe that is conditional - and if he isn't helping you, isn't saving you, well then, what good is he? (ah, we will be revisiting this later...)

But here's the thing, the thing that really gets me. As romantic as this sounds? It's TERRIBLE.

If Colin had married Marina, either knowing or not knowing of the pregnancy, he would have ended up utterly miserable. His love would always be unmatched. Even if she did grow affection for him -- and who knows, maybe she would have, but I kind of doubted it. Colin is a bit smothering when in love. And he really needs a partner that not only can cope with that, but doesn't mind getting lost in that themselves.

Not only are Marina's feet a bit too firmly on the ground (she is a practical realistic, who would always burst Colin's bubble) her heart belonged to another and it got shattered. And I don't know that she'd ever really allow anyone to hurt her in that way again, so there'd always be something between them.

Their marriage would end up being incredibly cold. Marina would push him away. Colin would become resentful. And he'd probably throw himself at his kid or traveling or whatever work he could find. But would never really feel that sense of connection that he so desperately desires.

Marina only sees him for her use to him, not for who he is himself. And he may not realize it yet - but he does need someone who likes him for him, not someone who needs him.

But... (I say because I can't shut up about this scene) Colin needed to go through this. It's not a bad thing that he's dosed with reality every once in a while. It's not a bad thing that he gains the experienced of not having been loved back. It's not a bad thing that he learns the difference between infatuation and real love - because he'll be able to recognize real love for what it is when it finally presents itself.

It's all, really, a part of growing up. And Colin is, after all, a young man in that awkward stage between child and adult, where you do go through all of this stuff.

So, we end the scene with a heartbroken Colin rushing away. This is the last time they'll see each other (until Season 2), and it closes the book on the Colin side of this story. (Marina's story will go on without him now...)

But this whole experience not only gives great insight into the type of character he is, but it's going to shape his world in a fundamental way, and have effects to his stories in later seasons.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now.

[tragedy-of-commons]

Good morning, Gwen. Avery reblogged your event and it appeared on my dashboard, so I came running.

"You're not good enough for him. Just break up with him already." + Jean + platonic

"You're not good enough for him. Just break up with him already."

Jean feels her heart plummet in the suffocating confines of her chest, your words stoking a different kind of fear. Had she overshared too much, causing you to finally snap? Are you going to stop being friends with her for good? Will you start to ignore her when she waves to you in the street? Will you tell everyone about what a sorry person she really is?

She knew she couldn't hold a genuine friendship down for long. It was only a matter of time before you became sick of her busy schedule and secretly dysfunctional livelihood--

She's sobered from her panic by the sound of your fingers snapping a scant inch from her face. "Teyvat to Jean! Hello?"

Like you always do, you're the one to ground her when things get particularly rough. Right - she needs to actually respond; being this inarticulate isn't doing her any favors.

"My apologies," Jean breathes, fidgeting with her gloves. She actually needs to be present so she can heed your counsel. "Please continue."

"Archons, I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that if he constantly expects you to meet impossibly high standards, you'll never be good enough for him," you jut your thumb out from your clenched fist and swipe it across the expanse of your neck. "You need to kick his ass to the curb, and you need to do it yesterday."

Your (literal) cutthroat gesture makes Jean shift in her seat. You don't mince your words at all - but that's precisely what she needs, precisely why she came to you for advice. Lisa has a terrible habit of sugarcoating things, even when she's at her most proactive... and Kaeya is, well, Kaeya.

She rises and places a hand on the backrest of her chair, rounding it so she can gaze out of the generously sized window that brings her whole office together. The view of Mond Proper, her home, never fails to calm her down.

"...I'm not even courting him, truly," Jean explains, watching the breeze ruffle a patrolling Knight's hair before being lost in the rustling leaves of trees beyond. "My obligations leave no room for that. We're keeping our relationship casual, informal."

She can almost hear the grimace in your voice. "Casual or not, him expecting you to ditch your hobbies or dress a certain way crosses the line. You know that as well as I do. If you're looking for permission or validation, I'm giving it to you right now."

Those words immediately soothe a large chunk of her anxiety. Jean's ramrod straight posture relaxes into something much more tailored for this atmosphere - sharing a cup of (now cold) tea with you, her dear friend.

"You're right," because of course you are, "but I have no idea how to end things. Etiquette classes didn't prepare me for any of this."

You snort as she turns back around to face your judgment. "To hell with etiquette. My suggestion? Kill him," you propose with the seriousness of a soldier about to go to war.

Jean's cheeks burn hotly as she flounders, attempting to deal with your type of humor in a timely fashion. You mercifully wait for her to do so, teacup and saucer perched daintily in your free hand. In all honesty, she wishes she were more like you; brave, uncaring of what others think, the main character of your own story.

She finds it in herself to chuckle. "I value diplomacy."

"Yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes good-naturedly, "but this isn't one of your romance novels, Jean, nor is it a negotiation. You deserve to be treated with respect, full stop."

She really wishes you'd stop bringing up her guilty pleasure so nonchalantly, but then she'd be deluding herself. She also wishes that she could be as confident and point-blank as you are, even if you both share the same sentiments - hers are just hidden under many layers of propriety.

"I believe you're very wise," Jean tells you sincerely. "The people of Mondstadt should elect you as their new Acting Grandmaster."

"You know, they should. I'd have that dickhead fling of yours executed immediately. Do they do that here? If not, they should look into it."

She sighs. "I take it back."

You grin, slamming your empty cup back onto her desk with a clatter. "Really? You don't want me to flay him alive? Or exile him to Dragonspine with nothing but the clothes on his back? Oh, oh, I know! What about electrocution--"

As the sun sinks down even lower in the sky, casting the Knights of Favonius Headquarters in a truly poetic glow, Jean realizes she feels much better. She'll have to get back to work soon, but for now she'll indulge you as long as she's able.

(Electrocution doesn't sound like too bad of an idea.)

🏷️: @akutasoda, @aviiarie, @lowkeyren

a/n: hi! good morning to you too & i'm glad you chose to take part! thank you for the prompt huehuehue. i decided to go in a little bit of a different direction because i just couldn't bring myself to be too mean to reader or the lovely jean... hope you don't mind!

event post here

[dalekowrites]

What would your favourite choice of the games interactive stories be? Would you have a favourite type? Romance, Fantasy etc. and did any of the inspire you with the ones you are currently writing? 😁

Oh boy! This is going to be a long answer, brace yourself lol

Let me start by saying that I have a degree in English literature (in fact, I'm going to do a PhD on it), so reading, in general, is one of the core activities of my life.

As for text adventures, even if not from Choice of Games Ltd., I'd like to mention a few inspirations: my passion first came from the original Choose Your Own Adventure series, and I still remember which numbers obsessed me as a child: Mountain Survival #28, The Dragons' Den #33, and more than any other, Space Patrol #22! (The latter may have also fueled my unhealthy obsession with Star Trek TOS, actually). For those unfamiliar with this fantastic book series, the genres of the three books I mentioned are, respectively, adventure, fantasy, and sci-fi. This gives you an idea of how varied my tastes are...

Later on, I discovered interactive fictions and text adventures. Dude, it was a dream come true. I started with Adventure ('76, never finished it, of course) and Zork ('79, never finished that either… of course. How damn hard were they?!). Then Mystery Mansion ('78), Castle Adventure ('82), and too many, many others. I'm a sucker for Sorcery! from inkle, and I deeply loved Magium (RIP Chris, you won't be forgotten). For my Italian-speaking friends, I also really enjoyed the Fra Tenebra e Abisso series (although its current status is unknown).

But back to CoG-related things. I've read a lot, and I'd probably be faster telling you what I didn't like! As you may have figured out by now, I don't have any particular genre preferences as long as a story is well-written, though horror-thriller stories usually grab my attention more easily.

Important note: I've read a lot of stories and, with a few exceptions, I liked most of them. To avoid writing a too-long list, here are the published stories that really impressed me:

A Crown of Sorcery and Steel,

A Midsummer Night's Choice,

Blood for Poppies,

Blood Moon,

Broadway: 1849,

Choice of the Cat,

Choice of the Vampire,

Donor,

Doomsday on Demand (1 and 2),

Gilded Rails,

Golden Rose: Book One,

Jazz Age,

Lies Under Ice,

Life of a Mercenary,

Life of a Space Force Captain,

MetaHuman Inc.,

Noblesse Oblige,

Paradox Factor,

The Evertree Saga (all four books),

Rent-a-Vice,

Revolution Diabolique,

Siege of Treboulain,

Tally Ho,

The Daily Blackmail,

The Dragon and the Djinn,

The Fernweh Saga: Book One,

The Fog Knows Your Name,

The Gray Painter,

The Grim and I,

The Ghost and the Golem,

The Lost Heir,

The Midnight Saga: The Monster,

The Parenting Simulator,

The Play's the Thing,

The Soul Stone War (1 and 2),

The War for the West,

Tudor Intrigue,

Vampire Regent,

Vampire: The Masquerade (all of them),

Way Walkers: University (1 and 2),

Welcome to Moreytown,

Werewolves: Haven Raising,

Zombie Exodus,

Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven.

And now, onto works in progress! There aren’t that many because I barely have time to follow my own (heh…), so here, in alphabetical order, are the ones I'm following with the most interest:

Adoriel's Tears (@adoriels-tears-if),

A Father's Love (@kal-down),

Crown of Ashes and Flames (@coeluvr),

Dawn Chorus (@dawnchorus-if)

Disenchanted (@disenchantedif),

Dragon's Edged (@dragonedged-if),

Elysium (@elysiumcircusif),

Fallen Lights (@fallenlightsif),

For King and Country (@forkingandcountry-if),

From The Ashes We Rise (@kal-down),

Hubris (@hubris-the-if-game),

Kingdoms and Empires (@kingdoms-and-empires),

Return to Misty Cove (@fluorescent-if),

The Abyssal Song (@ri-writes-if),

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - An affair of the heart (@doriana-gray-games),

The Lonely Shore (@thelonelyshore-if),

The King's Hound (@the-kingshound),

The Reaper Watches Me (@thereaperwatchesme),

The Bureau (@thebureau),

The Unseelie (@theunseelieif),

Van Helsing (@vanhelsing-if),

When Life Gives You Lemons (@when-life-gives-you-lemons-if).

Okay, that was… a lot. As for direct inspirations, I don't have any direct ones, but I can say I felt like writing a post-apocalyptic story after reading Doomsday on Demand! Other than that, I guess the collection of narrative, text adventures, and interactive fiction I've read have led me to where I am now.

Damn, it took me hours to write this answer. I hope it's satisfying at least! Thanks for asking ☺

[mrs-kodzuken]

hard to desire ⨟ kenma k.

chapter two

babydoll ari abdul

❝Oh, Father, forgive me for all my sins

When I meet your eyes, the Devil, he wins

Blinded by your lies, but I play pretend❞

previous chapter next chapter

"We're going to miss you so much sweetheart," Your mom hugs you tightly, tearing up a bit.

"Call us if you need anything at all, sweet pea." Your dad says, giving you a sad smile over your mom's shoulder.

"I will, I promise. I love you guys so much." You tried keeping the tears at bay because you knew you wouldn't be able to stop. They had packed everything you'd need into your small car and then, of course, sent you with extra money for the things they couldn't fit.

You were going to live with Kuroo in an apartment so surely there should be basic things like a refrigerator or microwave?

"Be safe, sweetie." Your mom said as you were leaving out of the door. You could only nod and wave bye, you'd never left home on your own like this before, so it put you through quite a few emotions.

You hadn't mentioned the part about Kuroo's roommate, Kenma, yet to your parents. They trusted you under Kuroo's care as if you were still a child.

Starting the drive to the town you would be spending the next few years in made you a little nervous. You decided to hook up your playlist and play some of your favorite songs to help with the nerves.

You had also wondered if you would ever see that strange man again, maybe that would be your first ever attempt at romance. Never being in a romantic relationship before meant that you relied on fictional characters from books to fulfill that part of your brain.

You just hoped that Kuroo wouldn't snoop to your bookcase that would be put up in your room to hold all of your books like trophies.

In the time that you had been driving and spacing out to the music, you had magically appeared in the town you kind of remembered.

Quickly, you called Kuroo because he didn't even give you the address to the apartment you would be staying at yet.

"Hey, I'm in town now. Could you send me the address?" You asked into the phone call connected to your car's radio.

"Uh, yeah sure," Maybe a minute went by. "There you go. I'll go let Kenma know you're on the way here, little one. See you in a bit."

Whilst you were trying to figure out the weird directions to get to the damn apartment, Kuroo was trying to get Kenma to come out of his room.

"Kenma, she's on her way now. Make sure you're nice to her, just what I had spoken with you about a couple days ago." Kuroo reminded Kenma, leaning on his door frame.

Kenma had been still trying to sleep even though it was almost 11:40am. That's always a tell-tale sign that he was up late on one of his many consoles or editing his Youtube channel.

"Kenma." Kuroo called once again.

Something stirred within the pile of blankets on Kenma's king-sized bed. Then a grunt was heard and Kuroo decided that it was enough for him, he'd have to actually say it again when Kenma would be up later. Kuroo shut his door and sighed, hoping this would go great for everyone involved.

Soon after, you sent him a text message saying you believe you had gotten to the apartment.

Kuroo came jogging down the apartment stairs to meet you exiting your car.

"Hey, little one. Was the drive okay? You need some help getting all that up the stairs?" He asked, giving you a hug. He'd be mindful of your feelings later when you've settled in so you can spill about your sentiments of being here, like you used to.

"Hey, yeah the drive was fine. Nothing but a bit of music and singing can't help," You chuckled and broke the hug.

"And yeah, it would be great if you could help me." You eyed your car, the backseat seemed to have been spilling through the windows based on everything your parents had insisted on packing.

"They sure do love you; you know that?" He mentioned opening your trunk so he could start with whatever is back there first.

You swallowed your feelings, "Yeah, I know. Let's get this stuff hauled in there." You said, changing the subject so you didn't have to think about that right now.

"I've taken the liberty to give you a queen-sized bed. I assume that you would bring your own sheets because I know you like particular 'aesthetics'." He made finger quotes around the word but that didn't take away how thoughtful it was of him.

"You didn't have to; I could've bought my own and put it together. I'm a manly man, you know?" You joked, enjoying the nice moment between you two.

"Yeah, yeah whatever you say." He grunted, hauling a box over his shoulder up to the apartment. After a couple trips, he told you he'd get the rest and lock your car for you so you could get things organized in your new room without being overwhelmed.

Heeding his instructions, you got to work.

By the time you were done, your room kind of resembled the one at home but this one spoke to you in a way that one never did. It signaled a new era for you – a new you.

Your bookshelf stood tall and proud with plenty of colorful books on it. Your bed had a pink and white theme, a fluffy rug in the middle of your hard wooden floor, and a door mirror were your favorite touches so far.

The apartment itself wasn't so bad. You didn't really get to take a look at it due to unpacking but you definitely wanted to now. Exiting your room, you find the bathroom and you guess the bedrooms where Kuroo and Kenma sleep.

The kitchen wasn't spacious, but it wasn't crowded either. It doesn't take a genius to realize that Kuroo probably meticulously placed the barstools and counter items like the tea, coffee, and toaster machines in specific places.

He was such a geek sometimes.

You looked through the cabinets and tried to stick everything to memory of its place. You, however, brought some of your own favorite dishware that had cute pink ribbons imprinted on the glass. You definitely were going to make your presence known with that.

That happened a lot more throughout the apartment too. Your little decor items like a specific throw blanket and pillow on the couch just for you. Small decorations on shelves here and there. Your toothpaste and toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.

You were popping up everywhere in their lives. In his life. And for some reason, it got under his skin. Even covering his head with a pillow, Kenma could still hear you bustling about in the apartment, talking to yourself about where something should go.

You'd occasionally ask Kuroo, and he'd just say, "Whenever you want to put it is fine with me, little one." Not taking into account Kenma's thoughts and that kind of pissed him off.

Not that it was his fault anyways. It's not like he got out of bed to say hi and greet you. Or it's not like he's pretending to be asleep so he doesn't have to conversate with you.

Kenma doesn't know why exactly you're getting under his skin so much, but it bothers him. It bothers him so deeply.

"Want to come with me to help you set everything up for school? I can show you the main buildings and once you get your class schedule, I'll tour the buildings with you, so you won't be late on your first day?" Kuroo's offer lit your eyes up.

Afterall, you were here because you wanted your degree, so obviously you're excited about classes and school.

"Yes, yes, yes. That'd be amazing. Just let me grab a jacket and I will. I saw something about it possibly raining later." You called out to him, fast walking to your room to get a zip-up you had on earlier.

You heard Kuroo walk back into the hall, and you thought he was going to get on to you for taking forever as you looked at your outfit into the mirror of your door. But that wasn't the case.

A knock was sounded, but it wasn't on your door. It was his.

"Kenma, want to come with us? We're going to go view the fall semester classes." Kuroo said through the door to Kenma's room.

You even stopped breathing to hear him.

You'd see the picture frames on the walls and here and there on the shelves from their high school days but there wasn't a current one of Kenma out. And even in those pictures, he was always looking away or face not closely in the picture. That in itself had made you curious too.

“Too tired.” Was all that was spoken but it still had an effect on you. Even though it was muffled through walls too. It was slightly becoming a bit more than curiosity at this point. But then again, you kind of had gotten a bit sad that he wouldn’t be tagging along.

You’d be living with a man you don’t even know, and he was too tired to go look at fall semester classes? Interesting. 

“Alright, well little one, let’s get this show on the road then.” Kuroo called for you and you opened your door.

“Okay!” You shoved that weird Kenma thought to the back of your brain and went ahead with Kuroo to enjoy how you guys would be spending the rest of your day. 

. . . 

Just like that, two entire weeks of school passed by. And yet, not even once within those fourteen days of school did Kenma take any invite from you.

You remembered how he turned you down multiple times. One day you had softly knocked on Kenma’s door, hoping for him to answer.

“Hey, want to come study with Kuroo and I? I thin-"

"Leave me alone." Kenma's annoyed, muffled voice cut you off and gave you the answer you needed. You purse your lips, hoping you haven't done anything to upset your roommate. Although that isn't even one of the possibilities for you haven't even been in the same room for longer than five minutes max.

Another encounter was when you had gotten home with Kuroo, and you guys decided to get takeout which was aka Mexican – your favorite. You had found Kenma sitting on the couch in the living room scrolling on his phone.

It was as if he could sense you looking at him, he quickly got up and headed straight for his room.

"Hey, wait. I wanted to know if you wanted to add to our order. We're getting Mexican food for dinner tonight." You spoke hopeful, keeping your voice light the entire time. You desperately wanted to connect with your roommate, even if it seemed that he hated you – your mere presence.

However, he had other thoughts as he passed you with a gruff scoff, "Mexican makes me sick."

Just a few words hurt your feelings more than you'd like to even admit. You weren't used to this type of rejection when you had been nothing but cordial.

One fateful day after class, you decided you really needed a study session with Kuroo to boost your spirits. You didn't want to feel so down with it only being the second –almost third– week of college.

"Of course, anything for you. I'm going to invite Kenma; he needs it too." Kuroo said, without thinking. You hadn't confided in Kuroo about how you think Kenma absolutely hates your guts. Every time you try, you just keep thinking maybe there is something you're missing that is making him behave this way towards you.

"Oh... yeah, that's a good idea." You tried to support it, but you were riddled with anxiousness.

Your nerves got even worse when Kuroo had stated that Kenma, begrudgingly, would meet up with you guys. Only to which you then mustered half a smile, knowing that the next few hours would be more stressful than the coursework itself.

You stood at the small cafe that was built into the university's library, you stared at the menu hoping that your memory would be able to recall what Kuroo had always ordered.

On the off chance that you and Tetsu come here to study or get a breather, you always forget what he orders. On the other hand, Kuroo has mentioned what Kenma gets every single time and now that is the only thing that has burned itself into your memory.

A fucking oat milk latte loaded with any sort of sweet syrup.

You'd been secretly watching Kenma when he drinks them, seeing which kind of syrup he favors more. You're not exceptionally sure why you've been doing this either. However, the vanilla and caramel he seemed to like the best, so you asked to add both of those syrups into his latte.

Then, you made sure to send Kuroo a quick text, asking what his order was again – hopefully it just gets blamed on your apparent forgetfulness.

'Iced coffee with a splash of sweet cream' He had texted back, which honestly seemed very basic.

With a drink carrier, you carefully made your way to the study table that soon had everyone's laptops, notebooks, and pens out.

"Thank you, little one." Kuroo said, hastily taking his bland iced coffee from the brown, recyclable drink carrier.

Kenma's sharp golden eyes peered upward at you, causing you to gulp. He took his coffee without so much as uttering a word as Kuroo got to work. You had pretended to type notes for your art class and secretly peered up to see the slightly upward turn of Kenma's lips.

You felt satisfactory with your decision.

After a few hours of studying, you couldn't help that your eyes kept drifting to Kenma. Kuroo had gone to the bathroom and your coursework was definitely not on your mind. You breathed in as you took in his entire form across the study table from you.

Kenma's medium length hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, his brown roots showing more so since they've grown out quite a bit from the starch contrast of the blond hair dye. A few strands of hair had framed his sharp angled face, he seemed extremely concentrated on whatever he was reading at the moment.

Your eyes moved downwards, taking in his frame and clothes. They were the most basic, as expected from someone who didn't really care what outfit he wore. A tee with graphics on it and black sweatpants.

Noticing more, his laptop had one of those light up keyboards that you kind of wanted to run your hands across for fun. If you focused on just him, you could slightly smell the scent of cinnamon apples coming off of it. It felt intoxicating to say the least, making you feel the slightest bit of light-headedness.

You snapped out of your thoughts when he suddenly shut his laptop hard.

"Done studying?" You asked curiously, trying to pretend that there isn't a weird flutter in your stomach nor that you basically were ogling him either.

"Why does it matter? It's not like you're doing any studying with the way you've staring holes into me." He sneered at you, and you couldn't help the faint dust of blush that coated your cheeks.

"I was spacing out, sorry." You muttered, only focusing your attention on the brightly lit laptop screen, not the way you feel embarrassed for the emotions that coursed through your veins when you thought of your roommate – who hated you, you had to remind yourself.

When in the hell was Kuroo coming back from the bathroom to save you from this?

synopsis: it's the summer before you go to university, and you decide to become roommates with your pen pal that you've known since you were in primary. big problem arises, he's got a roommate, and it just so happens that his roommate either has a sexual want for you or hates your guts – or probably both?

tag list: [let me know if you'd like to be in the tag list!]

@geektastic84 @lavanderdreamve @hhoneyhan @kirikeijii @marsoverthestars @nymphsdomain @justagirlnamedkai @kodzukein @74zix47 @kakuzone @jaeminaur

a/n: i made the banner, and i got my idea for this smau from @deftrow !!

[milehighmegs]

Good Omens Playlists

So I've seen some pretty wonderful Good Omens playlists on Pinterest, most of which are based on music in the show (especially Queen, natch), songs that say how Zira & Crowley feel about one another or describe them as characters.

In the wake (double meaning totally intended) of S2, I wondered: how do they feel about each other NOW? We've all been there. The sad love songs, the sleeping all day, entire pints of ice cream while watching romcoms... but mostly the recounting of how it all could've gone so wrong, what we wished we'd said & done, and what we wish we could say now.

Since Zira & Crowley definitely have communication issues (Nina & Maggie were SPOT ON in their convo with Crowley), I imagine they would have an easier time telling each other their feelings through other means. I'll admit, there's a bias here: this is what I would do, so of course I project onto these characters. But isn't that the beauty of fan art? We put ourselves into the work/live vicariously through them because we have such a damned hard time saying want we want & need and how we feel in plain language? Mostly because such complex feelings are REALLY REALLY hard to explain to ourselves, let alone to another person. But art- writing, music, imagery- can say what we struggle to put into more direct words. Music is an enormous part of who I am, so I often find that the songs of others say perfectly what I feel I never could.

On that note (pun only slightly intended), I've created 3 playlists: one for Crowley, one for Zira, and one for the both of them. The individual playlists are meant to reflect the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. There are elements of other stages within the songs meant to correspond to a particular stage, even coming full circle (it seems like acceptance, but there's a hint of denial in there, etc.). The joint playlist is of songs I imagine would make the memories of each other start to creep in (or totally gobsmack them in the feels) when they hear them, or things they wished they'd said/want to say to each other.

So without further ado, here are the playlists:

Crowley's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6LyYnip9XuZqcRIEsiDSwz

Zira's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YUi13sTfPSR99R1dB2XVY

AziraCrow's Heartbroken Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/48NpfV42Y8LTVSFsui8zl2

For those of you who don't have Spotify, here's what's on the playlists:

Crowley 'Never Tear Us Apart' - INXS 'Bad Romance' - Lady Gaga 'Love Don't Live Here Anymore' - Madonna 'Cosmic Love' - Florence + the Machine 'As It Was' - Hozier 'I Found' - Amber Run 'Wicked Game' - Chris Isaac 'Dancing On My Own' - Calum Scott 'Halo' - Depeche Mode 'Falling' - The Civil Wars

Zira 'i love you' - Billie Eilish 'And I Am Telling You' - Jennifer Hudson 'You'll See' - Madonna 'Somebody That I Used To Know' - Gotye 'Someone Like You' - Adele 'Boys Don't Cry' - The Cure 'Un-break My Heart' - Toni Braxton 'For No One' - The Beatles 'Comfort' - Julia Jacklin 'I Will Always Love You' - Whitney Houston

AziraCrow 'I Have Nothing' - Whitney Houston 'Nothing Compares 2 U' - Sinead O'Connor 'Torn' - Natalie Imbruglia 'Hopelessly Devoted to You' - Olivia Newton John 'In A Lonely Place' - Bush, the Tricky Remix 'With Or Without You' - U2 'Don't Let Go (Love)' - En Vogue

'Don't Speak' - No Doubt 'Here With Me' - Dido

A note on the playlists: I know that Zira wouldn't listen to most of this if any, and Crowley would outwardly cringe just thinking about some of these. The point wasn't to choose songs that they'd go out of their way to hear, it was to capture the feelings they'd be going through. Crowley's songs are a bit darker: more minor keys, moodier atmosphere, etc., while Zira's are more sad but lighter & gentler (except maybe 'And I Am Telling You'; that's a straight-up "aww HELL NO YOU AIN'T GONNA FUCK THIS UP THIS IS HAPPENING YOU KNOW WE BELONG TOGETHER"... well, the song says it pretty well).

I 'd love to hear any thoughts about this, agree or disagree, love or loathe, hate that you love it... What would you put into a ZiraCrow playlist?

Hope you enjoy it!

[scintillyyy]

actually it is interesting how dixon has tim discover his feelings for steph over the course of and in contrast to what was ultimately his failing relationship with ari & like. listen i'm not here ti cast judgment on either tim or steph here, but it was very much written by dixon as like. steph knowingly was very pushy about wanting to be in a relationship with tim even knowing he was actively in a relationship and fundamentally did not care about tim's girlfriend as a human being because steph saw tim being in a relationship already as basically minor inconvience because she wanted tim & tim clearly seemed to want her so he should just be with her instead. and like tim's hands clearly aren't entirely clean here either, because he did kind of ultimately just going with the flow and letting things happen. (but!! i am on the side of both of them are messy teens in their first relationships & neither deserves lifelong castigation for 14-15 year old messiness, let's be clear). but the circumstances around this messiness even being able to happen is because ariana is fundamentally unable to truly know what's going on as she's never privy to the secret. she had no way of knowing what tim is doing or who he's meeting--sure she gets jealous when she sees tim notice steph, but she never knows that there's another girl in tim's life exists & can't know. meanwhile the whole time steph is flirting with tim she is well aware that ariana, or "tim's girlfriend" exists. tim & steph exist because at the time of his relationship with ari, tim was allowed to actively and consistently interact with another girl while actively in a relationship with another one & steph was well aware and a participant in that.

and that's kind of by design--dixon, i do think dixon fairly early on decided that he was more interested in tim&steph over tim&ari, but i do think it's important to note that when dixon created ari he's on the record of conceiving of her as a lois lane type romance interest for tim, she was clearly originally intended to have long term sticking power for him. but then--*readers* didn't vibe with her. there's letters in old issues basically asking--"hey, is steph going to come back, hey is steph going to date tim, hey love steph when are they getting together". so while dixon got fully on board with tim & steph i think it's safe to say he was also. probably very cognizant of readers deciding they like a different love interest better.

so there's an interesting pivot in dixon once tim & steph are firmly on the "getting together" train and it's that tim is not allowed to exist of breathe near other female characters without being chaperoned by steph or it involving steph somehow in deference to steph's jealousy issues. with steph's entrance into tim's life, tim is moved away from the mixed more sex friend group (that existed with callie & ariana) of gotham heights high to 1) homeschooling in keystone 2) all male boarding school brentwood. the only female friendship he gains is star, and that's used in a story for steph to misunderstand and start stalking star and her brother in an attempt to find tim & catch him in the act. tim is no longer allowed to team up with girls his age or a little older without stephanie there. he's not even allowed to be concerned about random adult woman dana (his stepmom) without steph breathing down his neck despite the fact that once they start dating tim is doggedly pretty loyal to steph as far as girls were, far more than he ever was with ariana. & like. in universe this is an interesting character beat for steph considering the start of their relationship being that steph pushed tim while he was in a relationship & is paranoid of all other women, that they'll act like she did. but from an out of universe perspective you can tell dixon was absolutely shutting down any other relationship possibility for tim other than steph. he knew the pain of creating a love interest that got subsumed in interest by another and was under no circumstances going to let anyone else in that that could become a threat to his girl. hence, every time he teams up with a girl after steph has to be there, monitoring & chaperoning. which is very interesting. considering their beginnings and steph's own willingness to hang out with a guy known to be taken without his girlfriend there & her eventual disallowment of tim to do anything with girls who aren't her.

[outrunningthedark]

I know you aren’t on Twitter but the gay times retweet the article from Oliver from April (https://www.gaytimes.com/television/9-1-1-star-oliver-stark-buck-bisexual-buddie-interview/) is some type of sign for what is to come for season 8.

The same Twitter account who was constantly retweeting the deleted scene with Tommy in it from when it was released.

I hate to break it to them but a major news publication is not going to give you hints on what is to come in future seasons of your show and retweeting an article from April should confirm that. If I’m being honest I wouldn’t be surprised if Oliver has done or will do another interview with them (and guess what it might be with Lou as well) hopefully this time they will lose the buddie journalist.

Look how easy that was! But I will admit, I did not consider the screener being so bad that journalists would use old articles as bait before dropping whatever canon-compliant piece comes next. 😛 As for the Buddie journalists...they're pretty much all Buddie journalists because that's what's given them name recognition within the fandom - whether they genuinely ship Buddie or will slowly change course because they can't keep up the charade with the writing on the wall remains to be seen - but it's the PR department's responsibility to keep Buddie Bait to a minimum, so if these folks want to continue getting access to the stars they will most definitely comply. Also, just ftr, @osh-my-prince (one of my faves <3) has previously brought attention to the tone shift in articles as season 7 concluded, most notably the Remezcla interview with Ryan making note of not asking directly about Buddie because it was supposed to be an Eddie Diaz introspection. And as I mentioned the other day, there was also USWeekly's s7 Eddie recap with Ryan where Buddie was only discussed as BFFs and there was no question of whether the show could explore the romance angle in the future or whether Eddie could be anything but hetero if the story were to develop that way.

[raviolirash]

Gift.

Astarion struggles finding a gift for his love.

Astarion was a great charlatan. When it was time to put on a charade, he didn't have a humble bone in his body. Bragging about being the master of everything, how everything suits him, how he is a vampire of endless talents and beauty and clever words. How he's above everything, how flowers are overrated and never make good poisons.

He couldn't even pretend to be good at... this.

They all had some downtime in-between trying to solve a murder and taking down a tyrant, just every day things. Most scattered to explore the city for the remainder of the day. The Baldurians of their party sought out friends they wanted to say hello to before the city inevitably burns down again, the wizard was trying not to faint in the giant library, Halsin was probably feeding ducks to quell the stress this cursed stone city was choking his heart with, and Lae'Zel was most likely threatening a blacksmith and making him reconsider his career choice as he no longer sees the point.

Vėlė got dragged away by her old friend for a little while, to cause some unknown trouble with a few other drow they recognized in the city. It was never a good sign.

As for Astarion? Astarion was hiding in the shadows, counting the sweat beads on the merchant not too far away who has had to deal with the vampire's malice filled glare for the past hour. The malice wasn't aimed at the merchant, just at his own situation.

Romance didn't come easy to him. It all was quite new. He was worried that he'd overdo it, that he was very frightening. Worried that he didn't do enough. Worried that he couldn't do enough. Hells. After Cazador's defeat, the pit in his brain which used to house thoughts of vengeance had to be filled with something.

In turn, he subconsciously tried nothing. The problem at hand was that he actually wanted to try. Try something that involved more than him sitting with her and talking about how he has no idea what to do. He knew the basics of romance of course. Flowers. Dinners. Trips to faraway lands. A star in the sky to look at. A song in her heart. But none of those seemed right.

So, often he turned to what he knew best: being an asshole. And so he spent the time he was thinking about his problems getting on the salesman's nerves. He was an asshole, and he was the most comfortable being one. He could do that. Assholing was his comfort zone, an asshole was who he always was.

But was it who he wanted to be?

Maybe a little bit of an asshole, a little less than who he always was, but would that be enough? He knew Vėlė loved him, but how far would she put up with his nonsense before she snapped? He almost hit that limit the night before they killed Cazador.

His thoughts were heading into a very uncomfortable direction and he put a swift stop to it. He has gotten better at doing that.

Point was, he felt like he had to try, if this was going to work. After everything. Because no one knew when the world would end.

Astarion thought about her tattoos. Small birds and flowers were the most prominent subject. Surely something she allowed to become a permanent fixture on her skin was something she really liked. On the other hand, Karlach was inked with Zariel's name all over her body. Not to mention the markings on his own back. Vėlė has only talked fondly about her tattoos, how she got them to have control over herself, so there was that.

The gods wouldn't bless him with it being simple, and stopping at that. Every damned flower and every bird had a meaning, and there was the possibility of buying her a flower that represents a reminder of something awful the spider queen did to her. Or getting her a wooden bird symbolizing a creature which eats the heads off people happily in love.

Damn. He was stuck in the stupidest impasse.

He knew what she liked and didn't like, he knew what was on her body and what wasn't. What she would like and what she wouldn't for the most part. But the damn idea of a gift made him very awkward.

Before anyone could blink, he had pilfered a book from the flower merchant and went back to the bench to read it. A book about flowers and their meanings. Huh. Looks like the merchant was a bigger sham than he was.

He skimmed over it. Anything that resembled a sussur flower was a no-go. Most of the things in the book did sound like the author wanted to maximize their profits by making things up.

Oh, how cute would it be to just simply say 'I saw this, and thought of you'. Finding a rose in a blighted place and telling her what a rare and beautiful thing she was to find amongst darkness. He had to become a bloody scholar. Averting his eyes from the endless names of flowers in the book, Astarion saw the merchant panicking as he checked every pocket of his, frantically mumbling something about a book and missing coin. He grew increasingly more and more erratic for every second that passed, with it culminating in telling a customer to hold on a minute as he went out to find a Fist.

Astarion put the book behind his back with an inconspicuous whistle. Nothing to see here.

Although, he did find some relief and camaraderie in that the merchant was a fraud. None of this helped with his problem, however. He could steal something for her, maybe? No. A stolen chain with a pretty rock felt inadequate, and by the gods they had quite enough of that already. A custom piece of jewelry wouldn't get made before the city starts burning.

Astarion pulled out the dagger she made for him, using some magic that - truthfully - he wanted to know very little about. He knows what happens to pretty men who stick their noses in Drow magic.

Nevertheless, that dagger was the catalyst for this particular catastrophe going on. Flowers just wouldn't cut it compared to this. Compared to everything she has done, really. The glowing heart on the dagger left a lovely trail in the air when the threw up the dagger to catch it again with flawless technique, then letting it dance between his fingers.

Gods, please take pity on the fool who fell in love.

Calling defeat, he sought her out. The city will actually start burning prematurely without the two being there to guide the rest of the companions. Astarion found her in the Elfsong enjoying a meal, with the other patrons as far away from her as possible and a notable smell of blood in the air which explained some things. Even with Astarion out of the Elfsong's rotation, it wasn't free of creeps. Alan couldn't complain as she paid extra for the trouble.

"Hello, my love." Astarion watched her face light up at the words as he took a seat across from her. He tossed the stolen book on the table with exhausted abandon, unfortunately catching her attention with the thud.

"What's this?" Vėlė swallowed her food and wiped her hands on a cloth before inspecting it.

"Oh, just rotten fruit of a hard day's work." He complained. "I had to humble an absolute fraud. This city needs to have standards when it comes to swindlers, honestly."

With a disappointed sigh in himself, Astarion returned to playing with the dagger. He wondered if he threw it hard enough it could hit the ceiling. Just as he was getting ready for it, he got distracted by her voice

"Lily of The Valley. Apparently it means returning to happiness." Vėlė had the book right next to her arm, comparing the the illustrations of the flower in the book to the one on her arm. "So it doesn't mean 'Corellon has pissed in a garden', after all."

Astarion huffed: "I suspect that in Lolth-ian every flower has a name that loosely translates to 'the devil known as Coronal of Arvandor is pissing somewhere'."

He thought about it some more for a moment, as her laugh echoed through the tavern. A lovely sound he couldn't get enough of. He continued. "Don't you tell me that I am that far off the mark. I think I've heard some family of tulips translated as 'Defecating on The Seldarine's feet'."

"Hey, now. It's not all about Corellon." Vėlė giggled. "I also heard the Menzoberranzan commoners call roses 'The Goddess who is singing at the moon, and is also a whore'. Lolth's words, not mine."

Vėlė continued flipping through the book, always stopping to comment when she found a flower that was also tattooed on her, her smile growing with every new discovery, and sometimes sighing in contempt when the symbolism was inaccurate.

And all the rogue could do was smile back like a love sick fool.

[i-didnt-do-1t]

Okay, approximately 2 people asked for the controversial Katherine post so here it is

(Prefacing this by saying obviously ship whatever you want, pls, I could not care less about the romance it’s more so the pattern of the treatment of female characters)

But just in how, historically in the newsies fandom, the female characters have been so pushed aside, a lot of the time specifically to make room for the gay ships (I shouldn’t have to clarify this, but I’m bi, and also enjoy javey as much as the next person, that’s not the issue)

With Sarah it was with very obvious misogyny, which has now (thankfully) been swiftly moved on from, but historically making her petty and bitchy so she could be pushed aside was not a rare occurrence.

I find what happens with Katherine not all that dissimilar.

She is still very much pushed aside,

but the method through which she is being pushed aside is done with a ‘feminist’ lens so you can still claim to love her while giving her less relevance. A way to get her out of the way without it seeming overtly sexist. And no I don’t think people are sexist for having favourite characters, do whatever you want forever, but I think awareness to a degree is important, considering why you’re writing something, or interpreting something a certain way is important.

Unlike with Sarah, instead of the obvious misogyny, it’s done using the ‘girlboss, mean, she’s too smart for Jack and should punch him (for some reason?)’ lens.

Her role in many way, still becomes so disregarded, and her impact on Jack, on all of the characters, and theirs on her, is pushed aside.

How far is it that people genuinely ship her and Sarah Or how far is it that it’s an easy way to pair them off and get them out of the way.

Katherine can also be a ‘girlboss’ and fall in love. She is a complex character, these things are not mutually exclusive. Even with Jack, even with being a romantic interest, she is still a strong complex character.

Her being a romantic lead doesn’t detract from her other qualities.

May have more thoughts to add later but in conclusion,

Live laugh love Katherine Plumber

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Still wild to me that the Avatar team saw a guy write a love story between a stick and a monkey and were like "This is the guy who we need to write Rangshi and Yangvik" and then he ended up making two of the best couples in all of the Avatar-verse TT0TT

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Not Jason randomly going on a dialect/linguistics tangent on this podcast

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[transjudas]

Danger Days the album as a concept is so important cause it’s like. These guys all have had kids and are now responsible not just for the lives of their kids but the emotional growth and support and within the context of danger days like

how do you survive the end of the world for your kids when for so many years you didn’t care if you lived or died

how do you tell them it’s ok and try to protect them and give them dreams when you know their life will devastate them at some point

when all your fight is now about protecting them and all you know is some of you have to fuckin stay alive for them. to take care of them. but at the same time you’d die to protect them and finally the end of your life would be for something and someone.

so they can live to fight and learn that you can fucking fight and you can say no and go to hell and you too can make some noise

danger days is about hope in the face of being absolutely clear that the world around you is fucked.

[daylighteclipsed]

I’m enjoying FF7 Rebirth more than Remake so far (I was so sick of being in that uglyass city), but as someone who is not familiar with the og FF7 the sudden party member affection system absolutely blindsided me