#apparently I have a lot to say about Colin and Marina

[spaceorphan18]

The Lady Whistledown Papers : 1x07 Ocean's Apart (Part 2)

Welcome back, Gentle Readers, to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Ocean's Apart

It just occurred to me that this scene does not take place in the normal Bridgerton drawing room. Is this Hastings House? Or another room in the Bridgerton home? I haven't paid enough attention to Daphne's story line to notice.

Anyway... Daphne makes good on her promise and has arranged a meeting between Colin and Marina. And I should note the title of the episode -- ocean's apart. It is, of course, a nod to Daphne and Simon's issues, but also to Colin and Marina. And... as I brought up in the previous post -- a nod to the Leander and Hero myth, where the two lovers are split by the ocean. Simon and Daphne, obviously, will find their way back to each other. But Colin and Marina truly are ocean's apart. They are just not meant for each other, and this scene is going to close the book on their romantic story.

Colin starts out by asking for confirmation about the pregnancy. But his wording of it is interesting -- Lady Whistledown cannot be true. Right? Right??? He's so deeply in denial, despite everyone around him telling him otherwise. There was an ounce of hope he had in the faith he had in his own love that the pregnancy was a made up lie to scorn him (them).

Marina is done with the lying. She didn't even want to be there, and is only there because Daphne requested her and she can't really say no to a duchess. She tells Colin the pregnancy is real, and Colin's whole world shifts in that moment (and a nice bit of physicality as Colin himself shifts).

He kind of stutters, asking her really - you're with child? He looks her up and down, too, as if wanting physical proof of this.

Then he says something that is very telling -- 'I do not understand, we were to be wed. You said you loved me.'

And this is where Colin's romantic nature is his undoing. First of all, marriage and love are inextricably linked. You agree to marriage than you agree that love is its basis. In a time where it really was rare, that is one of the values that is at Colin's core. And it shakes him to his very core that Marina lied to him.

Marina tells him - I hold you in the highest regard. Admitting, though, that she does not love him. And that is when Colin's heart is truly breaking. If she had been pregnant and still wanted to get married, was actually in love with him, he could continue playing the romantic hero, could continue drowning in his own love. But she's ripping the mask of the rouse now. She used him, yes manipulated him, and yes used his own love to her advantage.

He gets angry, but it's retrained but emotional. Colin isn't a lash out kind of guy, not like Simon or Anthony. But he does show his hurt visibly, and the words come pouring out as he tries to sort out the situation. He is at an utter loss that she doesn't feel the same way, he's processing all the lies, and claims she's committed a great sin - and it's funny, that yes, the sin is being with child out of wedlock and using someone to cover it up... yes, the sin is, in general, lying. But what it is the most for Colin -- what hurts him the deepest, is lying about love him back.

Colin lives for love. He feels love deeply. He wants to be loved back just as deeply. And for Marina to cast that all aside, to claim she was not there in it with him, feels like the biggest part of the betrayal.

Marina lays down a huge dose of reality though. She stands up for herself, claiming she's not going to allow herself to be shamed by either Colin or Daphne (who isn't really reading in the corner). And while they may think she's a villain, the situation just isn't black and white like that. She takes a moment for herself, when she says that no one ever led her in the right direction, and no one taught her any better - so she's been trying to do what's best for herself.

And it's important to note that Marina did like Colin as a person. She picked him because he was kind and empathetic. That she does appreciate the depth of how he loves. But in all of this, not only was she needing to look after herself and her unborn child, her heart had been utterly broken. And she just cannot with the idyllic love. She cannot with how Colin lives in the clouds with his fantasies. Her reality is a much, much darker place.

The more she talks, the more his heart breaks, and you can see him start to well up. And this is when the emotion, the betrayal, the hurt, the anger really come out. He mocks her a bit when starts saying that he should feel lucky that she chose him? And, it's interesting, as he yells at her, it gets more emotional and for a moment slightly unhinged, and then he immediately pulls himself back and recomposes himself. Another reminder that even at the height of emotion, Colin always pulls inward.

After he collects himself, he tells her, basically, that he's done with her. (It's deliciously dramatic, lol)

She doesn't really have anything else to say, either. But she's upset, too. It's an emotional confrontation. She's sad for herself and her situation. But she truly never really wanted him to be hurt by any of it either. She wasn't being malicious. She was looking out for herself. And now it's all unraveling and she's alone again.

As Colin moves to leave, he pauses and turns one more time to her to say -- the ironic thing is that if she had told him about her situation, he'd have still married her. Because he loves her that much.

And here's my thing about that....

First of all, note the present tense when he says 'that is how in love I believe myself to be'. His heart is shattered, but that love he (thinks he) feels is still very real and still very present. And it's going to take going to Greece to get over it (and even then he won't really be over it until she again firmly shuts the door on him a second time).

Colin loves love and wants love so badly that he's holding onto things that aren't good for him because the alternative is not having that love at all, and he really just doesn't know what to do with it.

The second thing is that hero complex that's coming into play -- the fact that saving her from her predicament means that he'd have self worth. He places a lot of his self worth on his ability to help others, and it's reiterated in this sentiment. If you hadn't deceived me, I would have helped you, I would have been your hero, I would have done anything and everything for you. Because Colin seems to believe that is conditional - and if he isn't helping you, isn't saving you, well then, what good is he? (ah, we will be revisiting this later...)

But here's the thing, the thing that really gets me. As romantic as this sounds? It's TERRIBLE.

If Colin had married Marina, either knowing or not knowing of the pregnancy, he would have ended up utterly miserable. His love would always be unmatched. Even if she did grow affection for him -- and who knows, maybe she would have, but I kind of doubted it. Colin is a bit smothering when in love. And he really needs a partner that not only can cope with that, but doesn't mind getting lost in that themselves.

Not only are Marina's feet a bit too firmly on the ground (she is a practical realistic, who would always burst Colin's bubble) her heart belonged to another and it got shattered. And I don't know that she'd ever really allow anyone to hurt her in that way again, so there'd always be something between them.

Their marriage would end up being incredibly cold. Marina would push him away. Colin would become resentful. And he'd probably throw himself at his kid or traveling or whatever work he could find. But would never really feel that sense of connection that he so desperately desires.

Marina only sees him for her use to him, not for who he is himself. And he may not realize it yet - but he does need someone who likes him for him, not someone who needs him.

But... (I say because I can't shut up about this scene) Colin needed to go through this. It's not a bad thing that he's dosed with reality every once in a while. It's not a bad thing that he gains the experienced of not having been loved back. It's not a bad thing that he learns the difference between infatuation and real love - because he'll be able to recognize real love for what it is when it finally presents itself.

It's all, really, a part of growing up. And Colin is, after all, a young man in that awkward stage between child and adult, where you do go through all of this stuff.

So, we end the scene with a heartbroken Colin rushing away. This is the last time they'll see each other (until Season 2), and it closes the book on the Colin side of this story. (Marina's story will go on without him now...)

But this whole experience not only gives great insight into the type of character he is, but it's going to shape his world in a fundamental way, and have effects to his stories in later seasons.

And... that's where I'm going to stop for now.

[gleefullypolin]

Stacy's Tipsy Musing's - Colin Bridgerton Hot Takes - Part 4

Ok boys and girls, we need to have a little chat about Colin Bridgerton.

Part 2 has been out now for a couple of days and there have been a lot of hot takes to come out of the season. A LOT of hot takes. I’m going to break this down into 4 parts. 4 questions that I'm seeing really bad hot takes about Colin.

Now none of this is new, I gotta say before Season 3 aired Colin was a hot button topic anyway. He seemed to be the Bridgerton brother that lots of people love to spew hate takes on anyway. But damn I gotta say its painful seeing the Polin fandom have so many bad takes falling from their lips.

So, I figured...having a little drink tonight, sitting down for Father’s Day (Happy Father’s Day, Colin) I’d give you the opinion on some of these takes that you didn’t ask for...Mine!

Last time we talked about Colin’s entrapment statement to Pen and if he truly meant it.  Question 1, Question 2, Question 3, now lets get to Question 4:

How could Colin refuse to listen to Pen and just jump in to fix the situation with Cressida?

Colin “Hero Complex” Bridgerton to the rescue! This one is the easiest to answer because it has been coded throughout all 3 seasons to his character.

Season 1: Needed to save Marina from ruin. Even after finding out that she lied to him, tricked him, was pregnant with another man’s child, he STILL would have married her if she had told him she loved him. Like the boy had hero written on his chest and wanted to rip his shirt and fly into the sky to save her. He was the star of his own action story until it all came crashing to the ground the moment the damsel told him she didn’t love him. She thought him a foolish child.

Season 2: We have a couple of hero moments in season 2. He’s still stuck on there being a chance at redeeming himself at saving Marina, visiting her to see if she is happy, if there is anything he could have done differently for her. And once again he is told to stop living in a fairytale. The damsel is not in distress.

Our second hero moment comes in Jack Featherington. This time he gets to be the hero; he saves the ladies Featherington from his schemes. He proves him to be a fraud and runs him out of town. He has no idea that Portia is actually in on the scheme or that it has put the Featherington house into its own ruin at this point, but he rushes in to save the day without thinking ahead of anything else. Damsels in distress, Colin to the rescue.

Season 3: Ok, Pen needs to find a husband, Colin to the rescue. Balloon in Pen's path, Colin to the rescue. Pen is in danger, the Queen has advanced on her, and now Cressida is threatening. Colin does not even hear Pen the moment she speaks, all he hears is danger and he begins to act. His wife is in danger, and he will protect her. Hero mode activated. Again, Colin does not think ahead, he only thinks that his purpose is to protect. So he does not stop to listen to reason, he doesn’t hear Pen’s words or even sense, he just takes action.

The action at hand was apparently to go have a therapy session with Cressida Cowper, because that is what he did. A passionate plea with a woman who had no empathy. It was one of the best scenes however, because it was interesting to me that Colin was unable to tell Pen how he was feeling, but he opened up to Cressida and spilled his thoughts. Why? Because he did not care about her judgement, he did not care about her feelings toward him.

He admitted to feeling loss when Pen did not respond to his letters, he admitted to becoming a fraud, a shell, a person who closed himself off to feelings because he lost the person who opened him up to that piece of himself. He spoke of Pen’s treatment, he also tried to separate her once again from Lady Whistledown as if Pen was simply working for the woman and not actually the person holding the quill.

But Cressida was quick to pass her judgment, she clocked his jealousy immediately. He tried to appeal to her about love, family, fairness, and loneliness. Things he incorrectly assumed she would understand, but Colin, just like Eloise, is a sheltered Bridgerton’s who do not always understand how lucky they are, and he misjudged her reaction.

And our hero returned defeated by our villain. He faced the consequences of rushing in without listening to his wife. She thanked him for his counsel and his heart sank. Once again, the damsel did not need him. Once again, his purpose was gone.

It is only when she tells him she does not need him to be her hero, she simply needs him by her side that he understands his purpose. He doesn’t need to rush in to be her hero. He simply needs to love her. Sometimes the damsel saves herself. Colin truly is that wonderful romance hero I dream of.

Stick around for a bonus question....

I can’t believe Colin was going to just take 20,000 pounds from the Bridgerton funds, he doesn’t even have a job to take money from the family?

[dreamwritesimagines]

Garden of Secrets [32] - Viscaria

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback and support my loves, it made my whole week, you’re amazing!❤ I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤

Thanks so much to @theskytraveler​ for helping me with the chapter!

Summary: Honesty makes bonds stronger. 

Warnings: Regency era society and social rules, some gender specific language and terms, mentions of trauma and violence.

Word Count: 4000

Series Masterlist

The following week was very chaotic, and that was saying something considering what this whole season had been like so far.

Daphne was back from her honeymoon and had a lot of things to share with you, and you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to recover from that conversation. It was one thing to know and hear that nightly activities were -as Daphne had called them- pleasurable beyond words and it was another to know despite they were pleasurable beyond words, you still hadn’t…

Consummated.

Because Benedict had told you once that he would only touch you when you fell in love with him and you were not going to get rejected again.

The other thing was that Anthony had tempted fate that night apparently, because now everyone was talking about Colin and Marina. As Lady Whistledown had written on her society paper, Marina was pregnant from another man and she had been since she had got to London. Once the news had broken out, her courtship with Colin was brought to an end immediately and she was sent away from London by the Featheringtons to the countryside and as far as you had heard from Eloise, she was to marry the brother of the baby’s father, since the father was dead.

You shuddered to think what that poor girl was going through.

Colin was quite heartbroken but as Benedict had told you, he was slowly getting better. He and Marina had had the chance to talk before she had left for the countryside, so you figured that had to have cleared out the air at least a little.

Not for the ton, of course. That scandal was to keep them busy for at least a month if you had to guess.

As if all that wasn’t chaotic enough, both Bess and your aunt had decided that they would throw balls back to back; Bess’ ball was tonight while your aunt’s was next week, and you had spent the last week rushing from her house to Bess’s to make sure everything was going smoothly.

“I have a question for you,” Lottie said as she flung herself next to you. You still had hours until you would all go to Bess’ ball, so you had decided to relax in the park a bit. Though you were supposed to focus on your book away from the crowd under a tree, you couldn’t help but steal glances at Benedict who was in a deep conversation with Margery and Henry before you frowned and turned to see Lottie better.

“Yes?”

“So you know how everyone is talking about Marina being…” she lowered her voice, “pregnant out of wedlock.”

“Hasn’t escaped my notice.”

“But how?”

“Sorry?”

“I thought one was supposed to be married to become with child.”

You blinked a couple of times. “Well not—not necessarily,” you managed to say and she took a deep breath.

“I asked mama.”

“Oh dear God.”

“And she says it is an act full of love and desire that should only happen once you’re married.”

“Uh huh,” you said, looking around in an attempt to distract yourself. “Oh look at that, a butterfly—”

“What act?” she cut you off and you let out a whine.

“Lottie.”

“What happens when you’re married?”

“You know what, that’s a really good question,” you pointed out. “And the better question is; why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because you’re married,” she answered. “Not to mention, even before you got married you and Benny have been…”

“Debauched?”

“Full of desire,” she whispered and you felt your cheeks burn. “Even before your wedding, you two—”

You cut her off, careful to keep it quiet. “We didn’t do anything before the wedding!”

Nor after, now that you thought about it.

She lowered her voice. “But you kissed.”

“Nothing more!” you whispered back in a haste. “And you’re telling me you and Anthony did not?”

She repressed a proud grin, trying to keep a straight face.

“Perhaps.”

“There you go!”

“But that’s not our subject right now,” she said. “I forgave you after lying to me for months and you will keep it from me?”

“Lottie…”

“My two best friends and the love of my life lied to me, and now you keep another thing from me.”

“You’re devious,” you pointed at her, causing her to smile at you sweetly. “You really are.”

“I’m just hungry for knowledge.”

“You and I seem to have that in common,” you murmured. “Lottie, it’s just…it’s a pleasurable act.”

“That causes one to be pregnant?”

“Not always,” you said. “Marina’s was just bad luck I’d say. It’s only on specific times if you do that act that you become pregnant, it’s a mystery. I heard people say there are ways to prevent it as well, she must have not known.”

“And?”

“And,” you cleared your throat. “When you’re in love, and you desire that person and they desire you back…It’s—well, it’s divine.”

Or so I heard.

She thought for a moment.

“And you knew all this when you married Benny?”

“I didn’t grow up in the ton,” you said. “People talk about it more back in the countryside.”

“And Benny knew as well?”

“…Mm hm,” you pressed your lips together to keep yourself from laughing but she still saw the look of amusement on your face.

“What does that mean?”

“He’s very well practiced, and that’s the only thing I’ll say about it.”

“You know,” she mused. “There was a lady and one of Benny’s friends during my debut two years ago who were caught in an inappropriate situation at night in her bedchambers, and at their wedding breakfast I asked Benny what that situation was and he only laughed and told me I’d learn after I got married.”

“Wise words from the ton’s horizontal refreshment,” you muttered and she tilted her head.

“Hm?”

“Nothing.”

“So it’s pleasurable then?” she insisted. “If it is with the one you love?”

“Not to quote Benedict, but you’ll find out soon enough,” you said with a small grin. “Anthony and you will be married before the season is over, you know it as well as I do.”

A bright smile curled her lips, then she took a deep breath.

“I still haven’t forgiven him.”

“How much longer are you planning on making him suffer?”

She let out a giggle. “I would never make him suffer,” she said. “My heart is his completely.”

Your grin slowly faded when your gaze drifted to Benedict chuckling at something Margery had said, then joked back, making Margery laugh. Henry had to have walked away so it was just the two of them, and you felt the bitter taste of jealousy burn your throat before you looked at Lottie.

“So um—are you going to forgive him then?”

“I’m hoping to talk to him tonight at the ball,” she said. “He is coming as well, no?”

“Oh all of them will,” you said. “Even Colin, apparently. Benedict is dragging him there.”

Lottie nodded slowly, then stood up.

“I’d better see if my siblings are up to something, excuse me,” she said and walked away from you. Benedict saw her out of the corner of his eye, then said something to Margery before rushing after Lottie, no doubt to try to talk to her considering she hadn’t forgiven him yet either. Margery looked around, then waved at you and approached you.

“Well hello there,” she said and you offered her a smile.

“Hello.”

“Riveting read?”

“Not quite, but it’s a good excuse to keep myself busy,” you said and she shot you a smile.

“Understandable,” she said. “Can I join you?”

“Sure,” you said and scooted over so that she could sit down.

“We missed you at the party last week,” she said. “Why didn’t you come with Benedict?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “I was quite busy,” you said. “At the ball. But he says it was very much fun.”

“Oh it was!” she said, pressing a hand over her chest. “You really should’ve been there Y/N. Jane throws wonderful parties, you simply must come to the next one, I insist.”

“I will,” you said. “And are you coming to the ball tonight?”

“Absolutely,” she said and let out a laugh. “Benedict was just joking about how he has never seen me dance and he has this theory I’m terrible at it. He says he will see at tonight’s ball.”

You could feel your stomach doing a flip. It didn’t really mean anything, nor was it something that was ought to make you feel this jealous but—

Alright, this was ridiculous.

They were friends after all, so of course they were to joke around, there was nothing for you to feel bad about. You cleared your throat and smiled.

“Does he?”

“My mother used to give me these endless lessons until my dancing was perfect,” she made a face. “I hated it, but I do admit it comes handy at the balls.”

“Things we do for the ton,” you said as your eyes fell on Benedict who was making his way to you and Margery stood up.

“I should leave you two be.”

“Oh no, you don’t have to—”

“No no, it’s no issue,” she said. “I should find Lucy anyway. See you tonight Y/N.”

“See you,” you said as she walked away, and you watched Benedict come closer to you.

“The ton’s horizontal refreshment?” he asked and you repressed a laugh at the look of complete puzzlement on his face.

“You talked to Lottie?”

“Talked at her before she—did you seriously call me the ton’s horizontal refreshment?”

You shrugged your shoulders, adapting a look of complete innocence.

“I could’ve called you the town harlot,” you pointed out. “But I’m nicer than that.”

A laugh escaped from his lips and he motioned at your side. “May I?”

“Of course,” you said and he sat down beside you, making your heart skip a beat.

“So what brought that on, exactly?”

“She was curious about what happens when one gets married,” you said. “You know, with the Marina scandal and everything.”

“Ah,” he said and paused for a moment. “And what did you say?”

“Well I certainly didn’t say she would learn after getting married, which is more information that you gave her,” you pointed out. “Hypocrite.”

“It was not my place to inform her on that,” he defended himself and turned to look at you. “Please tell me you didn’t tell her it’s unpleasant.”

“Wh- of course I did not!” you said in a haste. “Everything aside, I don’t want to listen to Anthony whining about it.”

Benedict made a face. “Let’s just stop talking about that because I do not want that picture in my mind.”

You hummed. “How is Colin?”

“He’s heartbroken but he will pull himself together,” he said. “I’m not sure if Anthony will though. Third scandal involving our family in one season.”

You shrugged. “So far.”

“Don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “I honestly think that he might have a heart attack if another scandal happens, and I do not want to be a Viscount.”

You grinned at him before you saw Margery and Lucy walking by the park out of the corner of your eye, and lowered your glances to your book, smoothing out the corner of the page. Benedict frowned.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm?” you asked, lifting your head. “Oh yeah, sure. Just thinking about tonight’s ball, Bess put so much effort into it so I hope it goes well.”  

“I’m sure it will.”

“And uh—Margery is coming as well?”

“They all are,” Benedict said. “Should be fun.”

You tried to smile, then nodded your head.

“Yeah,” you said. “Should be fun.”

                                      *

In all honesty, it really was a fun ball. Bess was a wonderful host, albeit a busy one because you hadn’t had any chance to talk to her or Josie or Andrew for that matter. You had hoped to talk to Lottie but you barely had the chance to see her before she had excused herself from the ball after one dance, saying she was still tired from the park. Anthony had left around five minutes after Lottie had, but they were the only ones because every other guest seemed to be having so much fun.

Felix had somehow convinced you into being a part of the next dance which required you to switch partners every once in a while, and you were now paired with him while Lucy danced with Henry and Benedict danced with Margery. You let out a laugh and let him turn you as the dance required.

“An artist and a good dancer,” you said, taking a step forward with him. “Full of surprises, are you not?”

“I hope my art skills are better than my dancing skills,” he said with a smile and you shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m not complaining,” you said. “Any new paintings you have been working on?”

“Just drawings,” he said. “And you? Have you discovered a new flower yet?”

You scoffed a laugh, “Mm hm, I’ll name it Felix,” you said. “And when will I see the drawings? Or does that privilege only belong to my brother-in-law?”

He suppressed a smile and stole a look at the dancing couples, and you winked at him.

“You two are such close friends after all,” you said airily as he held out his arm and you put your hand on it. Felix grinned.

“We talk a lot about art,” he played along. “He has many interesting ideas. It’s quite inspiring.”

“I’m sure it is,” you said, still smirking and clapped your hands together along with other couples, then switched partners and Henry smiled at you.

“Mrs. Bridgerton.”

“Sir Granville,” you greeted Henry and put your hand on his shoulder. “Having fun?”

“Quite so, you must give my gratitude to Lady Hadfield,” he said. “A wonderfully planned ball.”

“There’s nothing Bess can’t do wonderfully, except for keeping her plants alive,” you commented and let him twirl you before you took a step.

“Our lovesick couple is back in the honeymoon phase then?” he asked and you shot him a lighthearted glare.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you mean.”

“No?”

“Not at all,” you said with a smirk, stealing a look at Lucy who was now dancing with Benedict, “We were simply enjoying the fresh air.”

Henry chuckled, then you both clapped your hands and switched partners, Benedict grabbing you by the hand to twirl you, making you giggle.

“Hello Mr. Bridgerton.”

“Hello to you too Mrs. Bridgerton,” he grinned at you, “How are you on this fine evening?”

“Enjoying the ball, and yourself?”

“Enjoying the sight of the most beautiful lady at the ball as we speak,” he said and you scrunched up your nose at him, ignoring the burning in your cheeks.

“Ever the romantic,” you teased him. “I should write you a sonnet or something, to pay back the favor. Can’t have you covering that whole front.”

He let out a laugh and you both circled each other as the dance required.

“A sonnet,” he said. “That sounds lovely. Will you carve it on a stone with a knife or something?”

“That does sound romantic now that you mention it,” you said. “And a stone can be a weapon as well, so you would have a sonnet you can actually use if need be.”

“Ever the practical,” he teased you back and you both clapped hands along with other couples, the music coming to a stop. Laughter and chattering filled the dance floor as you dropped a curtsy and Benedict bowed.

“Come on, let’s grab drinks,” he said and offered you his arm, and you put your hand over it so that you both could walk away from the dance floor. Benedict grabbed two glasses from the tray, then gave one to you.

“Is Lottie alright, do you think?” you asked and he nodded.

“She said she was, before reminding me she still wasn’t talking to me.”

You repressed a laugh and stole a look at Colin who was talking to Penelope by the corner.

“And Colin?”

“Pen will make him snap out of it,” he said. “Being around her always makes him feel better. Look at him, smiling already.”

You tilted your head, turning to glance at them but before you could comment on it, someone touched your back, making you look behind you.

“Andrew,” you said, turning around to see him better. “This is a good surprise after what, two weeks?”

“I know,” he said, giving you an apologetic smile. “I have been busy. Hello Benedict.”

“Hello Andrew.”

“Busy with a certain artist?”

“Maybe,” he winked at you. “Where is he anyway?”

“He was just on the dance floor,” you said and Andrew looked through the crowd, then nodded.

“Alright, I’ll be back but before I forget,” he said. “Y/N, Josie says you’ve been worried about the letter from your father and I get that but trust me, even if they do come here there’s no—” he stopped talking as your eyes widened, your heart dropping to your stomach. Benedict slowly turned to look at you before turning to Andrew with a frown and Andrew glanced between you, then hissed in a breath.

“And you haven’t had the chance to tell him,” he muttered. “Damn it. Sorry, I thought…”

“Your parents are coming here?” Benedict asked you and you pursed your lips together, then cleared your throat.

“Andrew, do you mind?”

“Yeah I’ll just—” he motioned at the other side of the ballroom. “Go and mess up another couple’s relationship on my way there so that you won’t feel alone. Sure.”

“Great, you do that,” you said and he squeezed at your arm in an assuring manner before walking away from you. You took a deep breath, your heart beating in your throat before you nodded at Benedict.

“Come with me?” you asked and made your way through the crowd with Benedict following you. You both left the ballroom and you climbed the stairs, then turned left and opened the first door which turned out to be one of the guest rooms. Benedict stepped inside after you, then closed the door behind him and put his hands in his pockets after a pause, clearing his throat.

“So?” he said, his voice completely calm. “What is happening?”

You heaved a sigh and ran a hand over your face.

“My uh…my father sent a letter,” you managed to say and Benedict frowned.

“To you?”

“No, to my uncle,” you motioned outside vaguely. “He talks about wanting to host Teddy for the rest of the season, which will not happen by the way, over my dead body,” you added in a haste. “It’s just a trick to ask for more money from my uncle, at least that’s what he says.”

Benedict nodded. “And they’re coming here?”

“It was implied on the letter,” you murmured, biting inside your cheek. “But my uncle thinks they won’t.”

“And you?”

You could feel your whole body stiffening and it was so familiar to you that it made you scoff, then you shrugged your shoulders.

“I don’t know,” you said curtly. “Father didn’t send another letter.”

“But why wouldn’t you tell me earlier? When did—” he stopped talking as a look of realization dawned on his face, making you shift your weight.

“That’s what you were going to tell me,” he said slowly. “Earlier.”

You pressed your lips together, fixing your gaze on the wall as you crossed your arms.

“That’s why you…” Benedict let out a breath, nodding his head. “Now it makes sense. You wanted to tell me, and I was at a party.”

That familiar feeling of defenselessness sent a shiver down your spine, making you frown before you cleared your throat.

“It doesn’t matter,” you said almost stoically. “It’s fine.”  

“Y/N, I’m really sorry—”

“No need to be,” you cut him off, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sinking in your stomach as you rubbed at your wrist, his eyes following your movements. “We don’t even need to talk about this really.”

“I think we do.”

“We do not.” You shook your head, your mouth dry all of a sudden. “I’m fine.”

“If they come here—”

“I can handle it,” you interrupted him again and rolled your shoulders back. “It’s fine. I don’t need—I can handle it, even if they do come here. I don’t need anyone’s help, I’m fine.”

That soft light appeared in his eyes and he stepped closer to you to pull you into his arms, heaving a sigh.

“Oh my stubborn girl…” he murmured into your hair, his hand cradling the back of your head as you rested your forehead on his chest. His other arm snaked around your waist and you felt the stiffness of your muscles relax slowly, almost melting into his touch. The music coming from downstairs slowly washed away from your ears as your hearing became muffled and you felt the tears rushing to your eyes, making your whole body tense up again. You took a shaky breath and pulled away from him even if you wanted nothing more than just stay there in his embrace forever, then you ran a hand over your face.

“Are you alright?” his voice was gentle and you nodded.

“Yeah I just don’t—I don’t do that anymore.”

“Do what?”

“That whole crying nonsense,” you rasped out, blinking back the tears as you went to sit down on the bed. A silence fell upon the room before he approached you, and crouched down to look at you while you played with the ring around your finger, your gaze growing distant as you found yourself lost in thought until you heard his voice.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Why not tell me afterwards?”

You shrugged your shoulders, nibbling on your lip.

“We weren’t on best terms,” you muttered. “I could not.”

A gentle smile curled his lips and he entwined his fingers with yours, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb as if trying to assure you.

“No matter what happens between us,” he insisted. “No matter what, I will always protect you. Nothing could change that.”

It felt as if someone was squeezing at your heart inside your chest but you managed to find your voice.

“Benedict, if they do come here…” you trailed off and he shook his head.

“Even if they do, nothing will happen,” he said, his voice determined. “I promised you, remember? No one will touch a hair on your head, ever.”

You dragged your gaze to his as you swallowed thickly, then nodded. For a moment, the only thing you could hear was your own heartbeat, the desire rushing through you. If you leaned in just a little to brush your lips against his, you could—

Your head whipped around as the sound of what was probably a vase falling down to floor and smashing reached inside and you heard Andrew’s laugh and Felix shushing him before someone slammed a door down the hallway. That was enough to snap you out of the haze you were in and you pulled back, blinking a couple of times to focus.

“Can we, um…” you muttered and Benedict seemed to understand what you were going to ask.

“Back home or back to the ball?”

“It’d be rude to Bess if we went home, we must stay,” you said as he stood up but you didn’t let go of his hand and stood up as well. You gave him a small smile, swinging your hands absentmindedly and Benedict raised your hand to press a chaste kiss on it, then shot you that lopsided grin of his.

“Would you spare me another dance, Mrs. Bridgerton?”  

The simple joke made you feel as if that heaviness in your chest was lifted off, letting you breathe again. A giggle escaped from your lips and before you fixed a serious expression on your face, pretending to consider it for a second.

“I suppose I can,” you mused in an airy manner and tugged at his hand to lead him to the door. “You are quite easy on the eye after all.”

Chapter 33

[pensbridge]

This fandom doesn't understand subtext! Actually this fandom doesn't even understand text...that's right in front of their faces.

"Penelope asked for an annulment, because she made a power move to choose better for herself." No, she did not! I'd respect it, but that's not what happened! Y'all have invented a version of Penelope where she does no wrong and has to "prove" to people where they did her dirty. Do you know how many people still can't admit what she did wrong in Marina and El's situation? It's a lot. Hate to break it to you, but Penelope was wrong. There's layers there; and there's reasonings behind her actions that have a snowball effect when she didn't really mean ill-harm. But it still happened. Every person in these situation has there faults and did poor things, that yes, Marina did on purpose. And I support Penelope for what she did. But again, the outcome was still (and could've been) bad. Penelope is so divisive sometimes that leads to people having to hit the haters with an analysis that Penelope is morally gray (I respect morally gray characters), but Penelope is not even morally gray. She does things that come out bad sometimes as a result of her decisions, but she's good and she has good intentions *is complex* - you know like a well-written character. Penelope, herself admits that she was wrong this season and y'all didn't hear, apparently.

For Colin, you've decidedly settled on this version of him where 1 thing that he says and does will forever be twisted into something that does not exist that I can only assume is from a pre-conceived world-skew of already having it out for him, because this can truly not be about The Character. The entrapment comment - I've already given my thoughts on this, but regardless if that hurt you so bad or not, you cannot deny the reason right in front of your faces that the writers place directly in front of The Scene. Colin is talking to El on the stairs and she asks, "do you think that you'll be able to forgive her?" He says it in intricate descriptive Bridgerton language fashion, but he says "maybe you should consider yourself uncommonly lucky, El, that you have never known what love is." He loves her, he's always gonna love her and she hurt him with the one thing we know from part 1 that he places so much value on he gets lost in tangents with the men in the club: INTIMACY. They were intimate...It wasn't just sex. She withheld the truth for far longer than she should and she denied him that choice to move on ( he wouldnt ) and allow him to not be "stuck" in a marriage that she insists on giving him an out to (if that's what she cares about), because she did not mean to entrap him. But sure, she asked for an annulment, because she actually doesn't care and only cares about herself. That's your character.

[sukibenders]

https://www.tumblr.com/sukibenders/753357046866411521/seeing-marina-gush-to-penelope-about-how-in-her

marina knew Pen feeling towards Colin. I know probably you had been in love and the other person doesnt love you back but i did. And it so painful to see another person making fun if that love you have. marina did that with the unrequited fantasy line . And now, don`t play it like marina really care or love Pen. There, Marina was making fun of Pen too, she was wishing her a life without love. it was Eloise wish to remain spinster but not Pen, she wanted love with all her heart and marina want her to be there watching her married with the man she loves with her friend being a spinster!! BE FOR FUCKING REAL!!!!

(This is going to be long)

No, no, no, let's not solely villainize Marina and go "Oh, sweet Penelope" as if she [Pen] isn't grown enough to know the extent of some of her actions. That's a big reason why I can't stand her character is because of the way fans deny her actions having consequences in comparison to others. I've never said that Marina wasn't wrong for what she did, such as attempting to marry someone and pretending their kids are yours, that's wrong on a lot of levels. But this is set in the Regency era where women don't have many choices, especially in her standing. She was literally about to be thrown out on to the street if she didn't find a suitor. And I'm supposed to care more about Pen getting her feelings hurt over a crush that, sorry, was unrequited at the time? I don't think so. Again, painting Penelope as the poor victim gets really annoying because, okay yeah, she has a crush. Everyone does in life. But that doesn't give her a right to act entitled to said crush's feelings at every turn (nor does it give the fandom the right to do so either), it doesn't give her the right to try and sabotage any other attempts said crush might have with other people behind their back, and it doesn't give her the right to expose their information on a public gossip sheet for everyone to see (both Marina's and Colin's). People get so caught up in Penelope's feelings, and demonizing Marina in the same breath, but also don't take into consideration the impact, while not as severe as Marian's, of what Penelope did to Colin as well (when they aren't busy villainizing him) I'm sorry, but me personally, I wouldn't want to be around someone who leaked private information about me (and someone I was close too) and then continued to talk about it on their gossip sheet, reaped the financial benefits of it, and gave me fake sympathies knowing they were the cause just because they had a crush. Would you? Let's be for fucking real, as you say.

And I'll be honest, I do extend a little more grace towards Penelope now than I did back in the day, but not my much. I would be more inclined of her ending up with Colin if her actions were rightfully called out and she had to work through the consequences of them. But no, that can only happen in fanfic because, apparently, it's wrong to view her actions under anything but a sympathetic lens. And, back to your point, correct me if I'm wrong, but Marina gushing to Penelope earlier in the season about Colin, after their first dance and no realization of Penelope's crush, held no mean attributes to it. Her statement was meant to create a loving bond because, whether you like it or not, Marina and Penelope were close because Marina didn't make fun of her or downplay her at every turn like her mother and sisters. Marina knew exactly how it felt to live under that household, saw a perfect opportunity for escape, and in that escape, not only, thought of bringing Penelope with her or at least providing her shelter, but with her best friend, of whom we can assume Marina knows more about Eloise than she did Penelope's relationship with Colin, because that wasn't revealed until later. So no, Marina did truly care about Penelope. Bringing it back to Colin, who made it clear that, at that point, he had feelings for Marina (and don't deny that he did) why should she throw that away over some crush? Like yeah, what Marina said was a little harsh (and she does apologize later for it), but you're ignoring the fact that, prior to this, Penelope made every attempt she could to be spiteful and rain on Marina's joy (again, before the crush was found out), even turning any positive compliment that Marina gave her as some form of pitty, which it wasn't. At that point, I'd be annoyed too and Marina was far better than me at those points. Now, again, I state this was the Regency era and Marina was running out of time with the only good and less dangerous option of a good life growing farther and farther away, she has to make tough decisions because it's not only about her but her unborn children as well, and I'm supposed to feel more sympathy for Penelope? Her calling Penelope's crush a "childish fantasy" came about when Penelope was trying to withhold Marina from doing something that could have ended up with her finding a good life because Philip showing up was something that no one expected and she was led to believe that Goerge no longer cared for her anymore. But she was supposed to throw that away over a crush? And calling it what it is, even if it was harsh, was not Marina making fun of Penelope. Let's not.

Yes, I have had crushes before, but in no way did I act THAT entitled to someone as a person, especially enough to where I purposely risked someone's life and have said crush still not even consider my feelings. And even if they did, that still doesn't warrant that behavior, and I'm tired of people justifying what Penelope did. I've had a crush on someone, they didn't know about it, moved on with different people one being my friend and you know what I did? Worked on moving on too, because they both were happy for however long they were together, the crush wasn't entitled to returning my feelings, and I knew at a certain point that I had to let go. Was it kind of sad to see Marina diss Penelope's feelings like that? Yeah. And would it hurt if someone did that to me? Yes, but I also won't lie and pretend that that could have been a reality check for Penelope if the show did right. I would have wished that Penelope didn't realize that so late, but sadly that didn't happen. And it's also sad that the fandom to won't let her have an opportunity to move on because, what do you mean Marina was denying her love? I'm sorry, but love exist in many other forms, which Penelope had, and even without Marina in the picture, Colin is clearly shown to not reciprocate Penelope's feelings that way. It's sad how dependent Penelope and some fans feel about that, when it's been shown that, when she tries (get into that later), Penelope can attract people outside of Colin. Personally, at a certain point way before s3, I would've been trying to do that a long time ago. Now, because you said that Penelope didn't want to be a spinster, the statement is kind of laughable because, until s3, we hardly see Penelope make any attempts to find a match with someone who isn't Colin, who still isn't returning her feelings. In fact, we hardly see her with anyone who isn't Eloise, and there are more scenes of her dodging attempts to find a suitor than actually looking for one. She literally uses Marina as a shield in s1 to prevent from doing so so that she can spend time with Eloise! (Ngl, if my friend did that for most of our lives, I too would think that she would want to be a spinster, but Eloise still could have talked about it more with her). It also ignores how, when Colin entered Marina's life again and basically went "Hey, I'm not against playing the second step daddy" Marina still went and pushed him to go and be with Penelope, even though, from what we can assume, they probably haven't seen each other since Marina got married and had her twins.

The reason I don't care much for Polin is because I hardly get to see much growth on Penelope's side at all in the ship, especially due to the fandom making it their life's mission to make Colin grovel for every little thing (some in which he really shouldn't). We got to see opportunities even before s3 of her associating with other characters, one being with Marina and the other being Edwina but they all get thrown out the window as soon as Colin enters the fray. Heck, even when around Eloise, as soon as Colin is mentioned or shows up she's eager to dip and make her way over. She wanted love with all her heart WITH COLIN. She had opportunities to be with other people, but she wanted Colin so bad that she was willing to do anything. Perhaps if the fandom addressed this, if they stopped trying to paint her actions as overly sympathetic and let her be morally complex, then I could get behind it. But no, we have to put the blame on others.

[triviareads]

I think it’s not that deep, either. The writing is kinda bad and it misses the mark a lot of the times, but we don’t realise it because most of acting is rather good. But look at scenes like the siblings interactions, Eloise’s rants, a lot of the Kathony fights. The siblings are pure banter and trolling but little of caring of one another. Eloise sometimes becomes a caricature of herself. The dialogue of a lot of Kathony fights didn’t make any sense (Kate’s lines in the because you vex me 1)

2) scene sucked). But the actors make them work. They are good despite de writing. With Colin and Pen’s relationship they are missing the mark the same way as with the rest of the og line plots/ characters. It’s not on purpose, it’s because they suck. You can tell if you look at the way they’ve changed Colin. They’ve tried to make him more serious and gentleman-like, a heroe. But in stead they made him kind of pompous (he’s deeply unlikable for example (I’ll continue in another ask box, sorry!!)

3) during his conversation with Anthony after he gets engaged to Marina. The s1 and 2 Marina plot was the same, it was clumsily (heavy) handled. The writers for the show are just not very good and, honestly, it’s the same way with a lot of Shondaland productions - they just miss the emotional mark, go overboard and the outcome is clumsy and melodramatic. Look at the scene were Colin says he won’t get married to Pen. They like to kick a character when it’s down and leave them there. And finally—>

5) each couple’s fans are looking at it in a partial way (idk): all the couples were fucked up, because the writing is… just in different ways. I can’t believe Kathony’s fans (I am one), think they were fucked, how do you imagine Polin’s fans feel? Polin has been all around dragged through the mud… because the writing is shit and the writers don’t understand the tone and the vibe of the show, don’t really know the material (and HR in general, sorry)

Answer below cut:

I agree the writing could have been more polished, and I definitely agree Jonny and Simone more than pulled their weight (apparently they even helped choreograph their own sex scenes and I am 100% willing to believe they came up with Anthony's oral fixation on their own).

I will say I thought show!Daphne/Duke were more compelling in some ways than they were in the books. But again, the writers screwed themselves over by including the assault scene, and then framing it in a way that was supposed to make us feel bad for Daphne.

Colin just got weird in S2, like, I mostly made jokes about him being the white boy returning from study-abroad, but he was... different. The funny thing is, he seemed more self-assured by the end of S2 because of the ponzi scheme he took down, as opposed to, say, Benedict. It also just felt weird he was so somber most of the time. This man-child is just supposed to be charming his way through the ton. I think we could have saved any internal development for his actual season when he's all like "oh woe is me, they only see me as an empty-headed charmer, but I have DEPTHS!"

[invisibleinorange]

Chapters: 4/? Fandom: Bridgerton Rating: T Warnings: Presumed Character Death, Suicidal Ideation  Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington,  Eloise Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington(besties),  Bridgerton Family Dynamics, Simon Hastings/Daphne Bridgerton Characters: Colin Bridgerton,  Penelope Featherington, Eloise Bridgerton, Anthony Featherington,  Benedict Bridgerton Additional Tags:  Bridgerton, Polin Summary:  Unexpected bad news arrives for the Bridgerton Family (and friends) regarding Colin's travels. This will be a series that is set after "The Duke and I" or season one of the show. It is a companion piece to "Goodbyes". (#I’mHereToKillYouAllWithFeels)

---

Anthony and Benedict had expected a lot of different reactions from their younger sister, dead silence was not one of them.

They stood there though watching as she read the letter, complete and utter disbelief and confusion clear on her face.

Eloise Bridgerton was certain that Penelope Featherington told her everything.  Sure, Colin had always been nice to Penelope but so were the rest of her brothers.

If there had been something out of the ordinary, she would have picked up on it.  If one of her brothers was taking more notice or spending more time with her, she would certainly picked up on it.

Colin had barely broken off his engagement to Marina before he departed.  Why would he have been so concerned about Pen?

This whole thing felt ludicrous and the only rational explanation was that this was some cruel prank.  Sure, she knew that Penelope was incredible but her brothers were all idiots.   As much as she might have loved to have her best friend have become a sister, she’d never seen it as the remotest of possibilities.

Reading the letter, she felt almost guilty for having never given Penelope enough credit for being capable to grab the attention of one of her brothers.

After a long moment she raised a hand as if to tell her brothers to not even say a word.  She was going to get to the bottom of this.

“You had both better hope that I don’t have cause to leave Gregory my only brother when I return,” she muttered and then with was gone, leaving the safety of the drawing room toward the one person who could answer any of the questions she had.

--

The reason Penelope Featherington could get away with more than most was because no one actually ever paid her much attention. No one cared what she did honestly and that was why it was so easy to keep herself shut away in her bedroom, convince herself that it would be so much easier for everyone involved if she just disappeared.

There were certain things that she had to get in order though.  She had forced herself to sneak in the night to allow Lady Whistledown to honor Colin but after that, she’d begun to get her affairs in order.

She had every intention of it being the last thing that she ever sent to print. She intended to have the secret die with her so that those she loved could at least keep some self-respect.

There were other letters that she had debated putting together too but somehow the words that were the most important were the most impossible to put together.  Her family wouldn’t even put on a show of missing her. The only person left who might actually miss her was Eloise.

She kept plenty of things from her over the years though and perhaps, it was for the best if she never knew.  

The saddest part of it all was that her mother never learned.  The necessary toxins were still easily accessible in the home.  Penelope had listened when Marina had detailed what all she’d consumed.  Surely, if that could nearly kill her if she doubled it, it would actually do the job. If it didn’t work, she was pretty sure she would just throw herself into the sea.

Her normally healthy pink skin was pale, her hands trembled as she wrapped her hand around the deceptively sweet smelling cup of tea. She raised it to her lips, prepared to take a sip.

Her plan was interrupted by the door opening with a slam.

The look on her face must have said it all because all 167.6 centimeters of Eloise Bridgerton came at her with a horrified force, knocking the cup out of her hands letting it shatter and spill against the floor.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” the brunette bellowed.

It was enough the send Penelope crumbling into the ground, curling into herself.  She was shattering and a part of her felt selfish for this all. She no longer had the strength to lie though.

“I want to join him,” she sobbed.

Eloise was completely taken aback but she still descended to her own knees, wrapping her arms around the red-head trying her to best to calm the storm.  She didn’t have to understand any of this to understand that there wasn’t a chance in Hell of her letting Penelope actually harm herself.

“You will not,” she ordered. “I won’t let you.”

“This is all my fault,” Penelope cried.

Eloise didn’t see a possible scenario where that could be true. The letter that her brother had written was still clearly imprinted in her mind along with the millions of questions that followed.

She was starting to think her brothers might have been right to share it.

A loud sigh escaped her lips and she forced her friend to look her in the face.

“My brother would not want this no matter what happened between the two of you,” she said resolutely, knowing that without a shadow a doubt.  

It was Penelope’s turn for confusion to show across her features.

“Nothing happened between me and your brother.”

Eloise couldn’t help but wonder if this was one of those situations where someone protested too much. Sure, she’d clearly missed something but her eyes were wide open now and she just wanted to know the truth.

“Then why did he write to you?” she couldn’t help but ask.

If Penelope could have turned paler in that moment, she was pretty sure that she would have.  Eloise wasn’t sure if she swooned, she’d have been able to keep her up right.

“He … wrote … me?” she asked.

Eloise nodded.

“Before he left,” she said. “It just doesn’t make sense to me because you’ve never given me any inclination that you had any passing fancy for any of my brothers and – I know I’ve been busy with my investigation but surely, I would have noticed something.  Surely, if you were this in love with my brother, you would have told me.”

She didn’t say it because it was of no relevance now that Colin was gone but she was a bit hurt with the thought that she wouldn’t have been told. As much as it might have been weird, there was no one she would have rather had become a sister. In many ways, she’d always felt as if they were sisters.

Her words shamed Penelope.

“I didn’t tell you because he wouldn’t have felt the same. I’m not like you and your sisters. I don’t have Lords and Dukes fighting over my hand. The only men who ever dance with me at balls do so out of pity.  Yes, I … believe I loved your brother but he never would have loved me. Maybe he didn’t marry Marina but there would be another next season or the next.”

Eloise’s loyalties were completely and utterly torn. Did she defend her brother’s character? Did she argue her best friend’s virtues?

“ You’re incredible, Pen.  Maybe the men and the Ton are idiots but that doesn’t change the fact you are one of the smartest, kindest and most loyal people that I’ve ever know. Even if I am furious at you for not telling me all of this, I’ll keep telling you as much.”

There was a pause, the folded letter retrieved from where she’d stashed it in her haste to get there to investigate.

She extended it toward her friend after a long moment of thought.

“I was going to say my brother was daft but apparently you both are when it comes to romance. I’m sorry that he’ll never be able to tell you as much himself.”

--

My Dear Pen, Everyone in my family has a bit of a label to them. I love them all dearly. It’s sometimes a big heavy trying to live up to their accomplishments. Being clever has always been my method of disguising my discomfort in my own skin at times. If you are reading this, I was a coward who couldn’t be man enough to utter the very words that have taken to plaguing my every waking hour. When I am with you, you disarm me.  I am in awe of you to the point that it terrifies me. I’m not completely sure that you recognize how magnificent you truly are. I know that you think that no one takes notice of you but I do.  You’re also my sister’s most beloved friend and as such I may have taken for granted the fact you would always be there. I know that I have acted beastly in recent weeks, throwing myself head first at an ill-fated engagement with little consideration for your own circumstances, ignoring you when you sought to warn me and taking our friendship for granted. I cannot apologize to you enough. I am completely and utterly undeserving of the repeated forgiveness you have bestowed upon me. I had hoped I might throw myself at you for your mercy once more. I know that you are facing bigger issues than my own selfish need of your company though. I understand now that this is why you spurned my request at the ball.  I was wounded when you took leave of me but struggle to find sleep, I knew just how foolish I might have been to think that you would even want to spend the night dancing and talking with a rake like me. You have always deserved the attention of a man not a boy. You deserve someone who would  put you above his own boyish whims. You deserve to be cherished always. By the time I return from Greece, someone else will have seen how magnificent you really are. Perhaps one day, I will grow into the man that you have always had faith that I could be and when I approach you won’t feel need to take leave of me. I will never be as good as Anthony or Benedict but if when we can meet again you so  much as deem me worthy of friendship, I will not take such opportunity for granted.

Your most humble friend, Colin

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 6

It has taken me a while to do this. But I write this shit down so....

I wonder if they got busy in that carriage.

Probably.

Ok Clyvedon! Y'all are definitely not in the square anymore.

Aww Mrs. Colson. You're so proper and ready to show off and he's just trying to break that back in.

Gahh that place.

Ok Simon, go off!

Aw we're really just diverting there.

You really don't want to know Hyacinth.

Eloise is not here for the shits.

Oh, Colin. You fucking idiot. The one time Violet and Anthony are in agreement.

Colin you happy, dumb boy.

Brothels though?

Colin has a point. He is older than Daphne.

To be fair Colin and Daphne are both getting okie doked.

You horny mfs. I love it.

"You are already Duchess of all this." Yes please.

Ooooh that flip and the way he patted at her hips. They are too good.

Aw Daphne is trying to be proper and Simon is like "fuck all that."

Your Graces.

Jeffries dgaf about this damn honeymoon.

Oh Daphne, she just wants to show you around without YOUR commentary.

Redecorating? Didn't she say she did a bunch of improvements?

"A perfect Duchess." Ok you shady bitch.

Yeah that nursery shit is coming back.

All dressed up and no where to go.

"You're so far away." He wants his WIFE!

They have no chill and the staff don't know how to react.

Mrs. Colson absolutely does not approve.

Girl he hates that place. Gut it!

This man and the way he takes off gloves. Good fucking gawd.

Their poor staff.

I swear I swear I swear that man man is living, breathing, dripping seduction.

Well shit take it outside then.

Queue the rain.

Yes. Remove the wet clothes. ALLUM!!!!!

He is the king of playin with it. And I fucking love it.

"Do you like this?" Fuck yes! Talk. To. Me.

I wonder how many orgasms this man has caused.

"Tell me what you want." Keep talking, yes.

And by "you" she meant that dick.

"Does that hurt?" No boo, it sure doesn't.

But your ignorance on the subject does. Him taking advantage of your ignorance also does.

I love love love Simon but I'm having a harder time with his evasion now that they're actively getting busy.

She's bound to figure it out though, right?

Ahh they're still hot af to me.

Oh shit they're still going.

That picnic. Omfg. Flippin that ass like.....

Head on a ladder?!?!?! Get you some Daphne. Oh sweet Simon....

Sex on a ladder too.

They're really like "fuck the staff." And the staff is like "haha, keep fuckin."

Don't go there Mrs. Colson....

Welp.

That shoe dropping. Gawd yes.

Daphne really went from knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to getting that Grade A like a beast.

Though Simon is obviously a withholder, the man is sexually attentive and attuned to her physical desires. He comes to please, indeed.

That tangle.

Ok, girl tell Rose your business.

I do love Rose. I want more of her.

"His physical inability to have children." Oh the sting of lies and ignorance.

"Difficult entanglement." Go head Rose.

Oh Colin, you fucked up lil buddy.

Hyacinth is a treasure.

I like that Violet does try to be supportive.

Penelope and her passive aggressive ass is saucy.

She's mad af.

The sisters do crack me up.

Penelope is dripping salt.

Oh Eloise. They really are putting you out there homie.

Awkward Marina.

Portia is mf hyped! She is all about that social climbing.

But she's gotta negotiate the bag before she pop tags on new Dresses.

Aw shit Marina caught Delacroix. Her French accent was a bit cartoonish.

Curious Eloise.

Oh children.

Oh poor oblivious Daphne. Simon, help your wife.

A fucking tie. Bitch they gotta kill them to eat them. Simon, again, help your wife. Tell your wife THINGS!

Y'all fucking dumb off all that sex and living in la la land apparently.

Well somebody liked his evil ass daddy.

Diplomatic Daphne.

Another sprinkle of kids....and pregnancy too.

I saw that longing look.

Aww she's worried he's hurt by being around children. If only you knew.

"I thought only of you." Really, mf?! As you keep up this lie.

She's so optimistic about her circumstances.

He's lucky he's beautiful. And that I pity him a bit. Because he's a motherfucker.

How did you get so lucky? Well you're lying to your wife and she doesn't know how sperm works sooooooo there's that.

What a beautiful expansive scene though.

Penelope is PISSED.

No belly yet.

Passive. Aggressive.

Oh this dinner is so awkward.

Portia you are not subtle at all.

Anthony is still CLEARLY not here for this engagement.

Oh is she about to snitch.

Well shit. She's kind of snitching.

Aww. He thinks your such a good friend, but hes got this.

You're sneaky and he's stupid.

Marina is hustling.

Eloping is always a grand idea. Colin you fucking dummy.

Marina is so relieved.

Aw where's Simon?

Sad Daphne is not a good look.

Grouchy workaholic Simon is not a good look either....but he does have a lot of responsibility in all fairness.

Mrs. Colson is so sick of Daphne.

Homegirl is just trying to find her footing. At least Rose stays supportive.

Have I said how much I love Rose?

Damn no one wants to talk to Daphne.

Aw she's befriended the pregnant lady with the screaming toddler.

I'm glad someone is finally explaining shit to Daphne. She can't grow if she don't know.

Too busy for his wife now......I'm not liking this vibe.

Aw she's trying to hash it out with Mrs. Colson.

Oooh she's looking for guidance about Simon.

He really hasn't told her shit about his life.

The power dynamic of their relationship is frustrating.

All this talk of being barren.....

She misses Simon's mama.

Strong seed got her thinking!

Penelope you sneaky, lying ass....what are you up to?

She has hope yet again. She about to expose her mother.

She ain't giving up.

Marina is damned and determined to marry Colin.

Oh Marina went there THERE.

You're gonna see your wife, Your Fucking Grace.

Stressy Simon is such a grouch.....but I'm not judging. I'm the same way.

But when they're affectionate, fuck.

He really just tossed her up on that desk like "Fuck work."

And he proceeded to fuckin work that mf thang.

How many people in the world are fucking like crazy right now because their significant others stay turned on by this show.

If I were not single, I would most definitely be pouncing on my partner ALL. THE. TIME.

Ok. Back to the show.

That was a mighty aggressive pull-out.

Relatable Simon. I too like foods after fucks.

Oh shit Daphne connecting the dots.

Rose out here saving the day like usual.

Well at least Daphne knows where babies come from now.

Everything is about to shatter, amrite?

She can't even hear a word he says. She feels so betrayed.

The piglet.

Dat ass though. And those shoulders.

Yeah that's gonna be a no tonight.

Oooh and now he wakes up without her.

She's fucking heartbroken.

The man she loves took away her choice with his deceit.

He allowed her to believe he was unable, not unwilling.

Would she have married him if he told the truth?

He was ready to die about the shit and still lied though.

All he ever had to do was tell her the whole fucking truth.

Everything this WOMAN knows about love and sex, she's learned from this man (and the real MVP Rose). He has literally taught her everything from the start of her sexual awakening. He knows better than anyone how ignorant she is regarding literally ANYTHING sexual in nature. I know he's insanely damaged, but this fucking hurts.

It's a unique feeling of unease and helplessness when you feel or realize you don't have agency over your own body.

An absence of the option to consent if you will.

I know this is a show, and I suppose it's doing its job because it's getting me deep into my thoughts and feelings. And I sure as a mf ENJOY THE FUCK out of watching them literally breathe in the same room with each other....among the many other things they do onscreen together. I guess I'm just heartbroken too. Shit. Plus y'all know I love tf out of my girl Daphne.

Ok back to the show again. This episode is fucking with my emotions.

Daphne is stewing!

But fuck if this isn't romantic as a mf.

These 2 fuck me up every time!

JPOLND - The End. That's this song. And this song is perfect.

Yes y'all! Rip them clothes off.

Daphne looks wild as hell. Carnal. She has a carnal look about her.

Ok bitch. Climb that mf tree then!

Is she anger-fucking him?!

Either way, he's loving it!!!

This song really is perfect.

Oh shit she's not letting up.

Fuck.

This shoe dropping?! Gawd NO!

She was literally like you took my choice so I took yours.

These fucking two.

He's hot with it for good reason for sure, but she is going in!

How the fuck could you think she knew how this worked when she didn't know what masturbation, let alone sex was until you got a hold of her?

YOU. PLAYED. ON. HER. IGNORANCE.

Maybe this conversation should have been had before y'all got naked.

They're both right in their own ways.

But they are absofuckinglutely wrong in so many of their own ways too.

He didn't ask for her pity and she didn't ask for his betrayal.

They are tearing me apart right now!

Big Sean said it best. "I guess drama makes for the best content."

I'm still rooting for them. I love growth and we still got 2 episodes left. They can't stay stuck like this, I'm sure.

Oh hey Whistledown.

Aww go to your friend.

Wtf is going on?

Are they all trying to kill me?

Aw fuck. Marina has been blasted by Whistledown. It's over.

Pure little Colin.

Oh Simon is heartbroken and Daphne.......she's desperate for a baby.

"Can the ends ever justify such wretched means?" That's a great question Whistledown. I'll have to get back to you on that.

I will close this with happiness because I refuse to accept this heartbreak.

[therandomfish]

Bridgerton Review

So, are we fans of Jane Austin? Oscar Wilde? Writers of that nature? Then buckle up kids because this is….. in a lot of ways almost exactly like that. Oh and SPOILERS!!!!!!!

Bridgerton is a drama series made for Netflix set in 1813 set in London at a time when young ladies were produced in from of royalty and then attended various functions in order to attract a suitor. First off I want to give some props to not only the design of the show but the choice of performers to play these various roles; everyone fitted their role perfectly and spoke eloquently. I will not single out any actors or actresses in this review as being exceptionally amazing but will say the cast as a whole was phenomenal.

So what’s the plot? Well there’s the main family of this show AKA The Bridgertons with their mother Violet (played by Ruth Gemmell) along with the 3 sons “The stick in the mud” Anthony (played by Jonathan Bailey), the “middle one with odd one out tendencies” Benedict (played by Luke Thompson) and the “one that needs a good slap in the face from reality” Colin (played by Luke Newton) we then get the one with more main-character-itus than the others called Daphne (played by Pheobe Dynevor) the nerdy daughter Eloise (played by Claudia Jesse) and then we have the one who disappears and only re appears once Francesca (played by Ruby Stokes) and finally the 2 youngest Gregory and Hyacinth (played by Will Tilston and Florence Hunt) and Main-Character-Itus Daphne is brought before Queen Charlotte (played by Golda Rosheuvel) to be presented by her mother to show that she is ready to seduce a man and get married (ahh the days of England when that type of thing was the only thing we were worried about; now that I think about it looking at some of the ladies around these days maybe they are still only worried about that), Daphne’s brother Stick in the mud or Anthony is taking over for her father in these matters as her father would’ve be in charge of making sure the suitor was suitable for the daughter in question. However Anthony is also (as in customary in these types of shows) a big old hypocrite who wants his sister to marry very specific people and make her do what is expected of her all while he is going around having sex with an opera singer Siena played by Sabrina Bartlett and talking about not wanting his responsibilities to the family but he has to do stuff. However he really misses the mark when he ends up pairing up Daphne with a dude called Nigel Berbrooke who is played by Jamie Beamish and also you’ll be glad to know isn’t in this show for very long due to getting punched in the face and exposed as a randy bastard but through a charade and touched fingers and sideways glances she falls for a Duke called Simon Bassett played by Rege-Jean Page (I apologise for the butchered spelling of the name) and they end up together by the end and while their story is the main front of the show and the main focus their relationship is quite believable in a lot of ways, they start out as friends and even when the Queen herself is opposed to them being together they make a plea to her and Simon makes the best speech ever about being friends first and transcending to love is what makes a relationship and in this case a marriage stronger because of it. We do get a secret that Simon is hiding but in all honesty it is something that even some people today would stick to; he makes a vow that he will never have kids to his dying father who was more interested in securing his family name and a male heir than he was in the health of his wife and honestly something that you stick to out of anger is a hard thing to let go of but of course he eventually does and there is a happy ending for them and you genuinely feel good for them when they do reach that moment.

However lets focus on the rest of this insane cast, I already mentioned the main family and their performers and like I said, Anthony is stuck trying to be the man of the house, his story is simple, he is a dick trying to do what’s right, he then tries to make amends to the opera singer he was shagging then decided to dump and gets told (rightly so) to get stuffed and so he decides that marrying for love is a dumb move (weird ending but okay) the second son is an artist and he meets up with another artist who shows him the artistic and creative world where he can paint and draw to his hearts content and of course he learns that his new friend is bisexual and he doesn’t know how to deal with it and you know what? They focus on that just long enough that you feel like you got just the right amount of that story, with the story focussing mostly on Benedict feeling like an outcast and finding common ground with his artist friends and also he got to draw attractive women in the nude.. he must have loved that day on set.

And finally we have the youngest of the three older siblings Colin who gets into a mess with a pregnant woman, now hold on, this is linked to another family called the Featheringtons with 2 older daughters who I swear look like they’ve been watching the evil stepsisters and have been emulating them ever since and a younger daughter called Penelope but then we also get the a character who joins the family and ends up going to the social events, trying to find a husband with the daughters called Marina Thompson played by Ruby Barker who is pregnant who ends up trying to get Colin to marry her and to sleep with her so he thinks the baby is his and feels guilty enough to stay with her. Now there are a lot of extenuating circumstances surrounding this, up to and including that Marina got pregnant from a soldier and he hasn’t been in communication with her and Baroness Featherington (who is a bitch) makes her believe that he wants nothing to do with her anymore and all sorts of things but Colin rightfully calls her out on a lot of stuff in her behaviour and other such stuff.

But going back to Penelope for just a minute and the younger sister of Daphne in the main family. They are the apparent intellectuals who decide to look down at the women who want to get married and are fine with prancing about as they don’t want to and want to pursue knowledge more and they are all reading what is essentially something like The Sun just a giant gossip column made by someone called Lady Whistledown (who is voiced by Julie Andrews) her identity is kept secret until the very last episode and almost the last frame and honestly I felt like this was the one thing in the whole show that really let me down. Keeping her identity secret wasn’t necessary and even when it was revealed it didn’t feel earned, having her voiced by a specific actress made me want to see that actress playing a role or have her be revealed to be someone who we hadn’t seen all show and made us wonder why she did this and have her give a smile of satisfaction at what had happened. But part of the Eloise and Penelope storylines is that they both want something they can’t have, Penelope wants Colin to herself (who saw that coming read my enthusiasm) and Eloise doesn’t want to have to choose a husband at all, being the type of woman who would say things like “I don’t need a man to feel complete in my life” and I do enjoy those characters because they are a breath of fresh air among all the other cardboard cutouts of the others who are trying to copy the main characters but sadly she is stuck with all the usual stuff a woman like her gets in a society like that was and she just didn’t feel like she grew much over the course of the show.

But overall, how was this one? Well in all honesty I would recommend watching it, not just because of the well written dialogue, not just because of the brilliant casting but because all together it makes the show sensational (just like all the drama is mmmm it’s delicious)

 Randomfish out

[mejomonster]

This is gonna be my love/hate situation with Bridgerton lol

Well I just finished ep 5, and so far? Well I’m sold on daphne and Simon. I could happily end their story here and not get disappointed. They realize their dumbasses were both pining in love and not in love w someone who hated them/whos dreams they were ruining. Delicious. Superb. Sexy. And very sweet when they finally talked. Because like. Yeah the crux is there they have best friend potential and when they do talk and become honest they really really click and really could be happy forever with.

Which sidetrack? I am so curious about what the queen said about loving a best friend. I love her now that I saw her with the king. It was so sad, it makes me think they were best friends and in love once. Then they lost a child, her husband got so sick he loses his memories, and now she has these glimpses where he’s back - her best friend is with her. Then he falls apart again, and it hurts her so much each time to re-lose even these small pieces she gets of him, but she’s so used to losing it she’s hardened herself to bear it. And like now her coldness makes more sense. She’s trying to soldier through it and be strong, be a strong leader and presence as someone needs to be - and her even more because she has no best friend anymore to confide in and support her. She’s doing it all alone. And grieving someone constantly who she has to re-lose.

Also I would. Just watch Lady Dansburrys origin story.

I really like Marinas story and I saw spoilers and I’m sad in advance. I want her and Colin to work out - like logically it is a reasonable happy ending for both, if she can just get him to speed up marriage to within a week or two because “they’re really in love and wanna speed it up.” They definitely seem capable of falling in love, and while marinas gotta bring what she’s trying to fix and handle into the situation, overall they’re pretty solid. Like in our modern era? I guess it depends on the person but if I was Penelope I’d let my friend marry Colin and move on. Especially since now Colin hasn’t been pressured to do something before marriage, so if the marriage is sped along yeah there’s one white lie of a kid that’ll be his but like adopted (which in the modern era we’d just be honest about but apparently in this story setting she’d be unable to marry if she has a kid first?). Like if Colin didn’t like Marina - yeah say something. But Colin does like her. Even if he likes Penelope too - presently he keeps consciously choosing to pursue Marina, that’s his choice, and his choice to not pursue clear single on the market Penelope. If it were me I’d be like well I don’t want him if he doesn’t want me. (Also that storyline is interesting in general I like Marina and Penelope quite a lot).

I also unfortunately heard spoilers of an upcoming scene I will dislike. And I’ve just been bracing since I don’t know when it is. So anyway, future me, good news, if you Do like this show you can just pretend it ended with ep 5 if you get too pissed off later.

Only tangentially related: I plan to watch Black Sails after that cause I love that show and wanna finish, and it’s way more MY kind of period drama. With action and less rich people and struggles for freedom in society etc. However I suppose I have my one unliked scene in that one too. While I think it was a fine writing choice, and as brutal as anything else in the show so not unexpected, the scene where Max is attacked I cannot watch and wish I’d known to avoid ahead of time. I can’t handle it on rewatches. I appreciate how the fallout is handled after, particularly Max’s arc etc. But that scene was so horrific I cannot handle seeing it. While... I know the rest of black sails continues to be brutal, as the violence from ep 1 has always been visceral and present, I think that’s the only scene of that nature though. So I don’t think I need to check for anything else to prepare for. If you have never watched black sails and happen to want to, I do completely recommend looking up the warnings ahead of time and Specifically episode specific warnings because it is very present when it does various heavy things and if there is anything you can’t handle then it is entirely possible to skip those scenes. Like ep 1 I believe flint breaks his nose, it’s on screen, as is the murder of the other guy visibly in the fight, later i think a man is crushed or nearly crushed and the scene doesn’t cut away I think, fights in general don’t tend to cut away from the gore or injury, sex is full on, etc. While it got recced a lot right after supernaturals lackluster finale, and it’s phenomenal story/characters and representation, it very much IS a heavy show and not for everyone. It’s at minimum as heavy in content as Game of Thrones (though I’d argue black sails is much more gory on screen) and eons better written.

Anyway back to Bridgerton, Simon is my favorite character, I do love him, I realize despite how much I hope he’s on screen that the cut aways and him avoiding daphne (and therefore being in scene very long) are the only thing that keep me from just starting to say I love you aloud and get invested too excited for the scene lol. His actor is doing a phenomenal job. Him and Lady Dansburry I think are my favorite actors in the entire show, I’d watch other things they’re in. And I have, perhaps, found the pdfs of the Bridgerton books in the bizarre chance I get too sucked into this and need more Simon scenes ToT

Also I find it. So funny. I follow a misc of people, and when Bridgerton dropped it was on my dash a TON but also I know very Clearly that period dramas about rich people and marriage are so FAR from what I’m into lol. They were like “enemies to lovers! It’s phenomenal” and I was like “yeah perhaps... but could I even stand the genre. I’m not u guys...” and like. I did eventually give it a chance, quit halfway thru ep 1 cause it’s Reallt NOT my genre, then finished and Simon showed up. Then in ep 2 Simon got fleshed out more and I became invested. I can get into most things if the characters are well done. And this show does have a well done cast of multifaceted characters, once they have time to reveal more of who they are - like I hated Siena and Anthony in ep 1. Then quickly loved Siena once I saw her more, and I still hate Anthony but now find him interesting at least the same way Cersei Lannister I found interesting (he’s a sabotaging mess clearly half conscious half unconscious and very Busy lol). And now I am decently into the story, at least characters wise, and yet I think most ppl following me LIKE me probably could run from this genre if presented with it lol. And if like me, this genre isn’t ur usual cup of tea, ur probably right. Truly I got into this cause a gif of Simon looked hot and I was promised a well written enemies to lovers. Well I certainly have gotten those things by ep 5. Especially Simon, who turned out immediately to be a very good character which is even more compelling to me than the prior things. But yeah like? If I was gonna tell anyone Following me a period drama I Did recommend? It would be one of the cdramas I got into - Goodbye My Princess perhaps, is a great one - or Black Sails (again heavily minding warnings particularly i think it’s ep 8 where Max is attacked, or any scene you see has a warning of something you want to skip). Black Sails has some great fucking characters and arcs, themes, power struggles, overarching plot, and a ton of fucking action if you like me Need good action. Like... period cdramas the ones I Do watch, win me over Bridgerton setting, because it’s usually warring nations marrying and war and internal politics Affectint any marriage bullshit I have to endure. It’s societal corruption, loyalty and conflicting interests, choices affecting much more than just a relationship or family on a small scale (tho I could do small scale romance i just mean I care 0 for marriage related plots on their own). Also I tend to like the characters that Don’t belong in the Royal setting - in Bridgerton it’s the seamstress, Marina who is used to the country and not these stuck up norms, Simons best friend and his wife, Siena. In The Untamed it’s Wei Wuxian, Meng Yao, xur Yang a-qing Xiao Xingchen. In Love and Redemption all of Lize sect are Demons and demons who totally overthrow their usual mold in other xianxia! It’s demon as the main lover! Bi demon in canon even! It’s Xuanji being our lead, being a devil turned into a puppet and in the “god” world as god of war, as much an outsider as Wei wuxian.

[pensbridge]

I wanna say this once and get this thought out there. I don't think Benedict has the qualities of book Colin. I get why people say that, I do! But the basis for which Benedict "takes" Colin's book personality is sparse at best. The arguments:

1) Colin is said to be the favorite brother in the books.

• Colin argues this in his very first scene of the show. He has an apparent need to be liked, and whether showverse Colin is the favorite or not is debatable (also noted by the fact we haven't gotten a ton of 1-on-1 family moments with him specifically)-which is something that ties into the next point

2) That scene of Benedict and Eloise in season 1, smoking

• "Eloise and Colin are said to have a close relationship in the books." Excuse me...Where?! Colin literally says they got close the recent year BECAUSE of Penelope [book quote somewhere that says-she was annoying and a nuisant little sister, but he was much closer with Daphne growing up]-That tracks in showverse, honestly; Daphne is around Anthony much of season 1, who acts as her protector as they disagree the whole way, we rarely see her with Benedict, and we have that 1 scene between Colin and Daphne; Colin probably is her actual favorite brother in the show...

• Colin and Eloise fight like crazy, but we haven't gotten to see it yet...BECAUSE it only makes sense for this season. A huge part of why the bicker in Romancing Mister Bridgerton specifically is because of Colin's belief she is LW, and is presumed to occur in season 3 because Eloise and Penelope had a falling out.

• Lastly, Colin smoking with Eloise would make no sense for that scene. I feel people forget that Colin and Penelope are an ENTIRE 10 years younger than their book counterparts; this is necessary because of the year(s) the books take place. That changes a lot! Colin at 22 would never smoke with El. Colin at 33...might! Colin is not the careless, joke-cracking, pot-stirrer we see in the book; because he hasn't been worn-down and jaded, being pressured endlessly by his mother to settle down when he hasn't even figured out his own purpose yet. But we do see some hints in this character in some moments, primarily s2 when he's "feeding the ducks." (I could talk about the effects of Marina and how this contributes to get him to this similar jaded point as in book 4..) Benedict is near..er to 33 and he has some of these characteristics, for sure! Eloise is able to have this moment with Ben for development, and to have that sibling relationship with him and still have moments upcoming with Colin that also have threads of similarities between the two relationships, while acting as it's own sepatate bond with it's own established differences. ...Colin is not a rake, because he is not at the point of RMB, which brings me to...

3) Any example of Benedict being a rake (book Colin would have done this)

• see point above

4) Also, Benedict's shared doubt (in his case for his art) to Colin's lack of purpose.

• Anthony, Benedict, and Colin all have qualities that they share as we've seen. They all have similar struggles between them, while having their own nuances that distinguish them from one another..Lack of purpose, discern for status, and male role in family and society are all things that plague them; they just have distinct specificities that make each journey unique. We have seen Anthony, we will see Colin, and Benedict will be shown continuing to struggle with his art and how he feels about himself...all 3 with common threads. We'll probably see Benedict propose to a wrong person, too at this point..jk.