#of course the plot line last season was horribly written

[stardyng]

Just watched a few episode reviews and some channels are legit pissed that Arya didn't immediately jump to Jon's side against Sansa. Like, they seriously expected it to be "Jon & Arya vs Sansa" just like the good old days. Some even went as far as to say that Arya calling Sansa smart was OOC. Yeah, cause god forbid if two women (two sisters no less) resolve their childhood disagreements and learn to respect and appreciate each other. That can never happen, amirite?

So far, what happened in the show and the different sects in the fandom’s reaction are all things I anticipated. Jon is presented as the protagonist of the series, and his fans definitely portray as being this golden hero  to the point where they often simplify every other character and their role in the story in ways that would serve Jon. As I mentioned before, the view the people who agree and validate Jon as the ‘’good guys’’ and the ones who have different point of views and disagree with him either as ‘’obstacles’’ or full-blown antagonists. Every character isn’t defined by their character arc but by their relationship with Jon. To a certain extent, the show does validate that belief since other characters are often reduced for Jon, but the show doesn’t relegate them to supporting characters as much as Jon stans hoped. To them, Daenerys is Jon’s glorified trophy wife, Arya and Lyanna are supposed to be his cheerleaders, and since Sansa disagrees too much with Jon, she has to be criticized and then punished by the narrative for it (the reason why Jon stans want the whole ‘’Sansa is going to betray Jon then die’’ plotline to happen is for Sansa to be explicitely written off as a bad person for the crimes of voicing her disagreement to Jon). Essentially, they assign roles to every character in Jon’s story arc and if that character doesn’t fill that role correctly, then they are acting “out of character”.

Moving on from that, when it comes to Arya, them wanting Arya to be on Jon’s side is understandable, however, at this point of the story, character-wise, Arya’s main priorities are her home and family, and she’s united with Sansa on that front. It’s normal that she isn’t going to agree with Jon making decisions that threaten these things, and that she is going to be critical of what she feels are possible threats to her home and family. Anyways, I’m not sure what people expected the Sansa and Arya dynamic to be like this season. The whole point of the conflit between them last season was to have them become an unit. The writers wanted them to reach a stage where they both recognize each other’s qualities ahd achievements and are united in their stance about what they have to do and what they want. It’s not an out of character thing to happen, it’s the natural progression of their plot line last season.

[nctsworld]

the yuletide boyfriend

✩‌ yangyang ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fluff | angst | smut | friends to lovers | ‌college au | 9k

SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ your one wish this year is to not be single during the holidays. yangyang, as your best friend, takes it upon himself to be your temporary boyfriend. soon enough, both parties begin to wish this new arrangement could last beyond the holidays. // part of the x-mas in ncity collection WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ implied ‌anxiety attack (during the first part of dec 24th – skip if need to), smut, mutual m*sturbation, couch s*x, angst, miscommunication, swearing RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ mature TAGLIST ⇾ @infnteen​ 

AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ this is my longest fic to date and also... might be my worst b/c i feel like the angst plot points don’t really make sense... but i hope y’all still enjoy!!! 

⇾ gif created by me, please don’t share or repost without credit!

NOVEMBER 30th

“So, anything special on your wishlist this year?”

Your best friend, Yangyang, asks you as you two sit next to each other on one of the many plush lounge couches in the Psychology building. It’s the usual lunch spot where you meet with him during your break between lectures.

The Psych building held much sentimental value for both of you because you met in Psych 101 during first year. Fast-forward three years later, neither of you expected to be the close friends that you are today.  

Chewing your sandwich, you ponder on his question for a bit. Through the transparent glass walls leading to outside, you see the trickle of students heading towards the building since class is about to start for the noon round of lectures. A couple, you assume by the tight hand-holding and nose kissing, giggles as they enter the building, glued to one another by the hip.

“Not really.” You drop your head downward to your lunch container, smiling to yourself. “I’m honestly just happy to have Mark in my life, especially at this point in the year.”

Yangyang nods in accordance and smiles too, understanding the story behind your sentiment.

The boyfriends you’ve had since first year have always broken up with you before the holidays, right before the end of November. Since you only became close during second year, Yangyang’s been around for two out of three of your cursed holiday break-ups.

To have Mark, your latest boyfriend, be with you and it being already December tomorrow, it was truly a blessing for you and a silver lining that maybe this was the year to break the curse. Yangyang was grateful too, wanting you to have the utmost happiness.    

You take another bite of your sandwich and tilt your chin toward the ramen eater.

“You?”

Yangyang slurps a few more noodles before he answers.

“I mean, the new Playstation would be nice,” he hums, mouth full.

Pointing the tip of your sandwich, you joke, “I’ll get it for you, but only if we share custody over it.”

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head during a mid-slurp. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Both of you laugh in unison, living in the calm before the oncoming storm.

DECEMBER 5th

The E-Sports club for the university is hosting a party tonight and because Yangyang’s on one of the professional teams, he asked a few weeks ago if you and Mark wanted to attend. Of course you accepted; Mark also had some friends in the club.

However, when you text Yangyang in the afternoon, stating a change of mind, he knows something’s off.

Half an hour before the party starts, Yangyang decides to visit you. Thankfully you both lived on campus, but even if you lived across town, he’d still bus out to see how you were doing. He does it all the time to visit his family, anyway.  

In the living room, the two sudden knocks at your door startle you. Peering through the peephole, you see the usual sight of your best friend, his lips curled upward and thumbs tucked in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet.

It feels like an eternity for him when you unlock your door. The hinges squeal as you open it hesitatingly, your face barely appearing through the agape crack.

Immediately, his smile dissolves. Your face is drained and blood-shot eyes avoiding his own confront him.

Yangyang has only seen you cry twice in the three years he’s known you:

Once, when you were freaking the fuck out over potentially failing a course (but, on the upside, you ended up passing the final to save your grade).

The second time was at his house for a family dinner, when his mom accidentally added too much hot chili sauce to her homemade beef noodle soup (let’s just say you weren’t the only one crying that night).

Those were tears of dread and physical discomfort.

But this… this was crying he’s never seen from you before. His chest collapses inward, fearful of the reason behind your tears.  

His voice shakes as he asks, “What happened? Are you okay?”

Neither of you are major huggers and only exchange them on the rare occasion.

However, this situation screams the necessity of it, so Yangyang lunges towards you, the collision swinging the door out of the way. His arms embrace you like a large, warm blanket. Comforting and safe.  

Despite the affection, emptiness has taken over your body. Tonight, you’re a dead, empty shell of who you normally are.

You feel weak to the bone, but you muster up enough energy to scarcely raise your arms over his back to return the hug. Your eyes are dry from all the crying you’ve done all day, but apparently you have more tears left in you to spare.

Your eyelids snap shut and your jaw clenches.  

“Mark broke up with me.”

Your words are muffled into his shoulder, but Yangyang hears it crystal clear.  

You break down, sobbing out of control over the statement.

As aforementioned, Yangyang’s been around for your last two, now three, break-ups. Sure, he’s aware of how grumpy and distant you can get, but you never cried in front of him. You made an effort to never have him see you at your lowest point.

And yet, here you are, drowning him in your misery. Guilt washes over you for drenching his bomber jacket, but Yangyang couldn’t give two shits. His arms squeeze tighter while he rubs your back tenderly.

After several minutes pass and your waterworks abate, you peel away from him. You sniffle and rub your nose with the back of your hand.

“Sorry about cancelling last minute.”

“Hey, no need to apologize,” he whispers soothingly.

“I’m just… so fucking frustrated.”

With fatigued eyes, you drag yourself back inside your apartment. Yangyang discreetly closes the door behind him and hurriedly uses his feet to push off his shoes. As he does so, your mouth begins to run off while you slowly pace around aimlessly.  

“Fucking done with boyfriends, especially when they think it’s so fucking awesome to keep breaking up with me right before the holidays.”

He kicks off his last stubborn shoe and catches you raking your hands through your hair, pulling it back firmly. Your lips are trembling, along with your entire frame.  

“Like I get that I’m horrible and needy and emotional—”

His mouth opens, wanting to cut in to disagree with you with all his heart, but he clamps it back shut and swallows, allowing you to blow your steam off.

“—but can’t they wait until the fucking new year? I don’t know, or maybe just don’t date me in the first place! I don’t know, I don’t fucking know anymore. I’m just cursed, Yangyang...”

You flop down onto the couch and sink into the ocean of shiny pleather, shutting your eyes and trying to stop crying for the nth time. The deep sting behind your eyelids pain you, but it pains Yangyang more to watch the events unfolding ahead of him.  

Unsure of what to say, Yangyang walks around the room. His gaze falls on your laptop screen and he frowns at the mostly bare Word document that stares back at him:  

“WISHLIST:   -KEEP ONE (1) FUCKING BOYFRIEND DURING THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING SDKMFLDS”

There are a few more lines below it with more profanities and keyboard smashing. He quickly darts away, a pang of guilt striking for invading your privacy.

Then, he turns to you on the couch again. You’re now covering your eyes with your forearm, pressing your lips together. His chest twists and his throat is arid as a desert.

You’re in shambles and he’s dying to pick up the shattered pieces of you, wants to glue you back together. On a regular basis, Yangyang’s a talking machine and can talk your ear off for hours, but right now, he doesn’t know what to say to you in your current state. He second-guesses himself, wonders if he’s even that great of a friend if he can’t comfort you in your worst times.

Blowing out a long sigh and removing your arm, you speak aloud, “You should get going to the party.”

Like awakening from a deep slumber, you rise up sluggishly and sit up on the couch, slouched over. The other figure in the room steps closer to you.  

“Sorry about your jacket, by the way,” you say. Your body is still, but your glazed eyes move to the dark spot on the middle of his shoulder. He glances at it and shrugs.  

“It’s better like this anyway,” he says with a gentle smile, and the tight knot in his heart softens at the flicker of your own smile, albeit a small one. Unfortunately, it fades in a few seconds. “I don’t want to leave you like this, though.”

You stare at the used, crumpled balls of tissues scattered on the living room table. Some also ended up on the floor. Break-ups are shit and 98% inevitable, but you know you’ll eventually get over it. You always do.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

He raises an eyebrow, as if asking, “Are you sure?” The lack of a worded reply causes you to notice the question written on his face.  

“Go,” you plead with a feeble laugh. “Have fun for me.”

Both of you head towards your front door again. Crossing your arms, you lean your head against the door frame and attempt a smile for your best friend.

“Thanks again for checking up on me.”

Yangyang nods with a half-smile, half-pout, “Of course.”

You give him a departing wave prior to sealing your door.

Usually, Yangyang would bus from your place to the student union building, where the party is being held. Instead, he zippers up his jacket and stuffs his fists into his pockets, opting to bear the early winter chill to walk his thoughts off. His blazing self-doubt burns at first, but he overcomes it by focusing on ideas to fix your accursed dating rut instead.  

Halfway through the walk, a light bulb moment occurs. A plan begins to brew on the surface of his mind and he thinks on it for the rest of the week.  

DECEMBER 11th

It’s been almost a week since you last saw Yangyang.

Finals started already, so classes were done for the semester and thus, your lunch meet-ups halted too. On top of that, since you were simultaneously moping and studying, you hadn’t really texted him much, nor had he, besides the occasional check-up text on how studying was going and random memes. Yangyang knew you preferred time alone to heal and he respected that.  

He also thought six days was enough time to get yourself back on your feet.  

Yangyang’s at your front door once again, but this time with two bowls of his mom’s beef noodle soup in tow.  

“Long time, no see,” you greet. Your tone is chipper, but your eyes look heavy, which could be partially from studying, Yangyang thinks. His smile deepens, content that you seem a lot better than the last time he visited.

“Delivery for two,” he raises the bag in his hand.

“And if I told you I already ate dinner?” you playfully retort.

The boyish man shrugs defeatedly, “Then I’ll tell my mom you hate her cooking—”

“You didn’t say it was your mom’s, Yangyang. Oh, my God,” you gasp, half-mockingly. You rush to grab the bags out of his hand and stroll towards your tiny kitchen. “Start off with that next time.”

As you remove the containers from the bag and onto the granite countertop, Yangyang shuts the door and takes his shoes off.  

“So, I’m gonna be upfront and say that I may have come here with a proposal.”

“Changed your mind about the shared custody of the Playstation?”

“I’m still considering that one.” Finally in his socks, he slings his backpack off his shoulder and plops it onto the couch along with his jacket. He stands next to you by the counter. “But it’s on the same page as that. Remember that day we were talking about wishlists?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum as you rip off the lid of one of the bowls. Blatant wisps fly upward and you inhale the savoury aroma, followed by a heavenly sigh.  

“Last time I was here… I might’ve seen what you wrote on your laptop.”

Your expression immediately changes into full-on cringe. You bring a palm over to your face.

“Oh, God. Let’s not talk about that. That was just weepy, lonely me talking.”

Yangyang pops off the lid for his bowl and steps into your kitchen, rummaging through your drawers for chopsticks. “So you’re telling me you don’t want a boyfriend for Christmas?”

Your hand flies off your face. Eyes widening, you spew, “Do you have a boyfriend in your pocket, ready for me to have?”

In your open hand, he places a pair of chopsticks into it. “Well, actually, I was thinking—”

Sternly, you point the chopsticks at him. “Don’t you dare set me up with your friends.”

He counters and points his at you, “Even better than that.”

With your interest piqued, you slide yourself onto the counter stool and mix the noodles around, anticipating to hear Yangyang’s fantastic plan. Your friend sits on the other stool, facing you. He pauses for a second, taking a deep breath.  

“Why don’t I be your boyfriend for the holidays?”

You freeze, and the noodles’ drips above your bowl are deafening to both individuals. Laughing awkwardly, you break your frozen state to drop your chopsticks and turn your head to look at him.

Sputtering, you say, “What?”

Unnerved, his mouth pinches to one side, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have even said anything in the first place. This was stupid, so stupid, but it’s out in the open and Yangyang already dug his grave—he may as well lay in it.  

“Well, for one, it’s something on your wishlist that I can easily get,” he pauses mid-sentence, glancing upward in thought. “Well, really, fill? Is that a better way to put it?”

He continues, eyes back on you, “And two, I’m not setting you up with a stranger or someone you wouldn’t be comfortable with. I assume you know me well enough that you’re comfortable around me?”

Yangyang lifts an upturned palm and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response to his assumption. Petulantly, you shake your head playfully and stick out your tongue at him.  

Rubbing the back of his neck, his gaze drops down to the floor for his last point. His voice lowers.

“And, I don’t know, we’d just hang out like we usually do during that time, except we’d do more couple-y things.”

Realizing the implication of his words, he widens his eyes. “I mean, we'll do whatever you’re comfortable with, obviously. We don’t have to do any of the physical stuff—”

You burst into a giggle at his rambling and hold a hand out, cutting him off. “Okay, Yang. I get it.”  

Yangyang watches your next moves carefully. You’re peering off to one side and picking at the tips of your fingers. After a minute that feels like forever, you nod slowly.

“I guess you have a point. We are sorta like a couple already.”

Your best friend sighs in relief, grinning that you’re not outright rejecting the idea.

“So,” you meet his eyes and bunch a shoulder up towards your ear. “We’ll just be a couple until what, New Year’s?”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugs indifferently. “Whatever you want. It’s your Christmas wish.”

You chuckle and shake your head in disbelief that you two are actually making an agreement for Yangyang to be your temporary, holiday boyfriend.

Honestly, it’s a little crazy... but maybe it’s the perfect thing to get your mind off of Mark and the handful of holiday exes hanging above your head.

“Okay, since my last final is on the 21st, let’s start ‘dating’ then and we’ll play everything by ear, see how it goes.”

Yangyang bobs his head eagerly. “Sounds good, soon-to-be girlfriend.”

He sticks a hand out for you to shake. You take it firmly, sealing the deal and flashing him a grin.

“Soon-to-be boyfriend.”  

Although the night goes on like usual between the two of you, you couldn’t deny how ecstatic you are to finally have a boyfriend during the holidays, even if it was technically your best friend as a stand-in.

DECEMBER 21st

Tonight’s your first date with Yangyang.

That sounds weird to say, you admit to yourself, but it’s the truth.

After you stroll out of your last final of the semester, Yangyang’s waiting for you inside near the main exit of the building with several layers on, including his hoodie over his head and a knitted scarf underneath. His attention leaves his phone and he stuffs it into pocket as he notices you heading over.  

“Hey, girlfriend,” he welcomes you, beaming.

You snicker at the unfamiliar label. You wonder if you’re going to get used to this, even if it’s only for two weeks.  

“Hey, boyfriend,” you grin harder as the word falls from your lips, trying your best not to outright burst into laughter. “Where we heading off to?”

Although you said both of you could play the dating by ear, Yangyang’s been keen on scheduling plans for the upcoming days. You told him he didn’t have to, however, he insisted by saying that he wouldn’t only be a horrible boyfriend, but a horrible friend if he couldn’t make the next weeks fun for you.

Yangyang was anything but a horrible friend, and the fact that he was willing to be your holiday boyfriend to make you happy proved it further. Nevertheless, you gladly let him take the reins.

“I was thinking the movies tonight? See the latest Marvel film?”

Concurring to the idea, you scurry towards the bus stop and are movie-theatre bound to the nearest one off-campus. Arriving at the theatre, Yangyang and you buy your tickets and a popcorn to share, then head into the respective auditorium where the movie is playing. Since the movie’s been running for a couple of weeks, the auditorium is fairly empty, giving you two the chance to snag perfect middle seats with nobody else is in the row.  

Up to this point, aside from the name-dropping of boyfriend and girlfriend, this feels less like a date and more like any other hang-out with him. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing awkward.

But that changes during a third of the movie.

You’re both so immersed by the screen that neither party notices the other’s hand when both of you reach for the popcorn in Yangyang’s lap at the same time.  

A jolt runs through as your hands brush together. The duo’s eyes tear away from the screen and flit to the action happening in real-time. The touch lingers for several moments.  

“Sorry,” you quickly mumble, drawing your hand back slightly, but still hovering over the popcorn.    

���Uhm,” Yangyang licks his lips and visibly gulps under the screen’s bright glare.

He whispers, his voice almost cracking, “As your boyfriend, can I hold your hand?”

Okay, this is just your best friend, acting as your temporary boyfriend, asking to hold your hand. No big deal, no big deal at all.

Yet, the thunderous knocking in your ears, louder than the explosions blasting through the theatre’s speakers, suggests otherwise.

You don’t even register it, but you’re already nodding in response. Your breathing slows to the rate of Yangyang’s hand inching over. At the anticipated contact, you gasp softly. His smooth fingers clasp over yours. Since the arm rest in the middle of you is positioned upward, there’s no obtrusion and you relax, letting your hands mingle in between the empty space.

Without looking at one another, both of you smile bashfully to yourselves as you try to continue to focus on the screen.

After a while, because you aren’t exactly holding hands, you spread your fingers, hastily doing so because you don’t want him to think you’re breaking the interaction, and twist your palm to properly interlock hands with him. You give Yangyang’s hand a warm, gentle squeeze. He does the same and even strokes his thumb against your skin.

Talk about playing everything by ear. Who knew you’d be hand in hand on the first date?

You attempt to not think much on it, but Yangyang’s hand in yours feels... so right, like your hand was made for this, for his to hold. Like you should’ve done this way sooner.

And if Yangyang’s thoughts could be heard, he’s thinking the same.

Despite the mutual fear of sweaty palms, neither of you desire to let go, so much that you not only hold hands during the rest of the movie, but throughout the bus ride back to campus and all the way until he escorts you to your front door.

With a certain charge in the atmosphere, you exchange sweet good-byes. That night, after the culmination of stress from finals and your worries of your holiday exes, you finally have a peaceful sleep, looking forward to your date with Yangyang tomorrow.

DECEMBER 22nd

“Babe, how do I look?”

“Very pretty, honey.” A bundled up Yangyang winks at you from behind his phone.

The second date is an evening at a Christmas light festival at a botanical garden on the outskirts of town. The lights illuminate so strongly; there was a glowing dome-like hue over the location that seemed to reach the dark sky as you got off the bus.

When stepping foot into the garden, all the encompassing lights mesmerize you. Lights on the various greenery, lights as decorative art pieces, lights lining the pathways. Different shades of colours and shapes engulf the massive area.

Yangyang’s currently in the middle of taking your photo near an arch tangled with dark blue, gold, and white bulbs. All night long, you’ve been mockingly using endearing terms, but, despite the frigid air, your cheeks heat up over something else he just said.

“You think I’m pretty?” you genuinely ask, breaking your pose.  

He lowers his phone a bit, his jaw dangling.

“Uh, I mean,” he giggles awkwardly, nodding softly. “Yeah.”

Yangyang never told you, but he initially sat near you in Psych 101 because he thought you were the most stunning girl in the class. And sure, he was a little disappointed at the time to find out you had a boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you two couldn’t still be friends. Other than the first few weeks he had a crush on you, he’s never thought of you as more than a friend.  

But those feelings are resurfacing, hitting him in the chest like a bag of bricks, due to moments like this one—you’re batting your eyelids, gaze straying elsewhere, and adorably chewing on your lower lip.  

“And you’re not just saying that as my holiday boyfriend?”

Pouting to one side, he shakes his head cutely. “Mm-mm.”

On the flipside, the beginning with Yangyang for you was strictly platonic. You were dating Haechan at the time you met him. When Haechan broke up with you later that fall, you kept a distance from dating for a while, heartbroken from the high school love gone sour. During that period, you never told him, but you did run through the possibility of dating Yangyang since you got along so well... until you met Jaemin earlier the next semester, who stole your heart. Ever since then, you’ve never seen Yangyang under that light again.

Despite that, you can’t deny how attractive he is, and now that you’re single and technically dating him, you embrace the fact with open arms.  

Beaming as bright as the lights, you tug him by the end of his puffer jacket’s sleeve to bring him closer to you.

“C’mon, handsome, let’s take some pictures together.” Prickles rise under Yangyang’s cheeks from the off-hand compliment.  

Holding your phone up in the air at about an arm’s length away, the side of your heads touch to prepare for a few selfies. When you finish capturing them, Yangyang’s hovering over your shoulder as you scroll through to glance through the photos.

“We look good together,” you comment. “Don’t you think?”

In sync, your heads turn to meet each other. Your eyes waver from the blatant clouds of your breaths and over to his lips. The clouds become rapid bursts as you begin to lean forward. So does Yangyang.

“Do you guys want a picture together?” someone suddenly asks. The abrupt voice drags you both apart instantly, crushing the moment into pieces.

“Sure,” you peep, fumbling to hand your phone over to the stranger.

Posing, Yangyang’s hand rests around the middle of your back, which is the norm when you take pictures with him, but he pulls you in snugly. You smile even wider, relishing in the new-level of intimacy and allow yourself to be truly content among his presence.

“You guys are such a cute couple,” the stranger gushes while they return your phone prior to walking away.

“I guess we are, huh, babe?” you jut your tongue out in jest at him. This time, you indulge in the endearing term without a sliver of mockery.  

Yangyang copies you, jutting his tongue out further than yours, and seizes your hand to continue the tour around the gleaming garden.

The almost-kiss isn’t mentioned for the rest of the night, nor is it acted upon, but both individuals dwell on the near occurrence before sleep that evening, staring longingly at their bedroom ceiling.

DECEMBER 23rd

For the third date, you find yourselves at the campus’ dedicated ice rink arena to partake in ice skating.

You’ve skated a few times in the past, but you’re by no means a pro. On the other hand, this is apparently Yangyang’s first time, and he’s already skating circles around you.

“Show off,” you grumble as he does another lap past you. Your gloved hands are splayed out in front of you, careful not to fall flat on your face.

Turning on his blades, he rebounds over to you.

“Sorry,” he pants. His raised cheeks glow an adorable shade of pink. “This is really fun when you get the hang of it.”

Yangyang intertwines his fingers with yours before you can say anything. “C’mon, take my hand.”  

At first, it was sweet to skate alongside your holiday boyfriend, notwithstanding the few times you almost trip. As the minutes pass, you think you’re getting the hang of it, but suddenly, Yangyang unleashes your hand and glides ahead of you, abandoning you to slide at a swift pace that is definitely out of your comfort zone.  

“Yangyang, what the fuck?!” you screech, completely disregarding the handful of surrounding parents with their kids, the former sending daggers your direction. Your ankles struggle to make a T-shape to stop, but the struggling only somehow makes you move faster.  

As he spins to face you, now skating backwards with ease, he says, “See, you got the hang of it-oomph—”

Air’s struck from his lungs when you crash into his body. Thankfully, Yangyang skids his blades harshly against the ice and is able to steady and support you within his arms.

“You little fucker,” you gripe, lightly punching him in the arm.

He chuckles blithely, “Sorry, but it was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

You breathe a large huff, which makes you note how your hair is falling over your face after the catastrophe. You’re about to lift your hand to rearrange the strands, but Yangyang beats you to it and is in the midst of tucking them behind your ear.

The knocking in your ears reappears with a vengeance and the physical source of the knocking is thrashing violently against your chest.

Your scorching breaths fuse in the refrigerated rink as Yangyang eliminates the inches of space between, his plush mouth ultimately converging with yours.

You have to constantly remind yourself to breathe under Yangyang’s intensity, and remind yourself that you’re in a public space and shouldn’t be making out like this.

But everyone’s skating around the couple, daring to not disrupt the affectionate display.

God, you don’t know when was the last time you’ve been kissed like this. Have you ever even experienced a kiss that was a fraction of this? Yangyang daintily cups your cheeks like you’re glass, but his lips press ruggedly into yours, inflaming your entirety and melting any existence of your figurative fragility.  

You ignore the echo in the back of your mind that reminds you he’s your temporary boyfriend.

The Talk will inevitably occur, but your future self could deal with it. Presently, you’re too caught up, drowning in Yangyang’s embrace.

DECEMBER 24th

On Christmas Eve, Yangyang decides to bring you to an outdoor Christmas market.

Understandably, since it’s the day before Christmas, the place is absolutely packed. For the first fifteen minutes or so, it’s joyous being immersed in the Christmas spirit with the assorted little shops and their respective products. You’re holding Yangyang’s hand tightly, pointing and half-shouting over the bustle about the items that catch your eye.

Unfortunately, someone accidentally bumps against your arms and your hand is gone from his.

Swivelling your head, searching through the crowd, it occurs to you that you officially lost Yangyang.

Your feet come to a halt as your hand attempts to dig into your jacket pocket to pluck your phone out, but the moving crowd forces you to constantly follow the stream.

You yell for him, but words can’t materialize. Your windpipe tightens. Your breath is becoming shallower and shallower. Blood pulses in your ears alarmingly, blocking out the clamour from around you. Your mind’s running everywhere without control.

Where is your boyfriend?

No, scratch that, he’s not your actual boyfriend—where is your best friend?

Did he leave you? He would never.

Right?

But what happens when all of this is over? Will you still have your best friend?

You’ve avoided The Talk long enough, but you didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. Not like this.  

Maybe you’re just destined to be alone.

Is this how it feels to actually lose him?

Tears fight your vision. You hear a faint call of your name, but you can’t urge yourself to turn around, sinking only further into the sea of anonymity. You’re just a face in a crowd, all alone, with no one who cares—

Yangyang grasps you by the arm and maneuvers you aside to a less busy area behind one of the vendor stands.

“Oh, God, thought I lost you there—”

You cut him off, hugging him with all your might and stuff your face in his chest cushioned by the downy layers of his winter jacket. Yangyang immediately drapes his arms securely around you, reading your uneasiness.  

“Hey, I got you. I got you,” he soothes, running a hand through your hair. “God, not my best idea. Sorry for bringing you here.”

You shake your head, wordlessly informing him that it’s okay. You’re just glad to be with him again.

“Wanna go home?”

You nod solemnly, and Yangyang zips you out of there in minutes with his arm tucked by your side,  ensuring he doesn’t lose you in the crowd again.

Fortunately, the jitters mostly disappear when you arrive at your place in the late afternoon. You’re in the middle of rummaging through your keys to unlock your door.

“Sorry I didn’t have anything else planned for today,” he mumbles, leaning with folded arms against the wall.

“Did you...” You insert the correct key and turn the lock, clicking the door open. Your gaze lifts to match his. “Did you wanna maybe have dinner with me tonight? I was thinking of ordering pizza in.”

The grin that reaches his eyes is a sufficient answer for you.

“Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He hangs his arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss atop your head.

After chomping down pizza and playing a few rounds of Super Smash Bros. on Yangyang’s Switch, you peer over to him on your living room couch while he’s figuring out which character he should play next.  

The little mental voice in the back of your mind prods you, reminding that you should really, really have The Talk soon. The Talk that you swept under the rug at the start by saying you’d play everything by ear.

Four dates later, and the thought of this ending scares the living daylights out of you. This not only including the interim relationship, but the dire possibility of the friendship itself too. Is it possible to go back to how you were, flipping it off like a light switch?

But the internal voice is smothered as you’re drawn to his pouting lips in thought. His pouting, oh-so kissable lips. Following the ice skating kiss yesterday, you only shared a good-bye kiss when he dropped you off. Since then, you’ve been itching to have his lips on yours again.

Yangyang eventually detects your lack of focus and finds you gawking at his mouth. Your gaze dashes to his eyes, blinking innocently, but then his eyes flicker to your mouth.

The tension in the room snaps. You two carefully throw the Switch controllers off to one side and attach yourselves together. Unlike the crashing of your bodies at the ice rink, this one is purposeful. Deliberated, as his forehead presses into yours and his tender caress carries your cheek. Your body plummets backwards until Yangyang pins you completely into the couch.

Initially, the lip-locking is gentle and mild. Your fingers lay in the vicinity of his angular visage and sturdy upper frame, in contrast to his hand curling around your waist in a light squeeze.

Soon, hands traverse to other regions—his back, your thigh, his stomach, your ass. Each touch seeking, craving, whining. Tongues slinking and dancing with appetite. Your bodies buzz for more.

Open-mouthed kisses transition from the damp lips to each other’s necks. The touches dig deeper, thriving with hunger. Your back bows, body curving into his. Grinding ensues and his robust desire is blatant against your own pulsing passion.

“You don’t happen to have any condoms on you, do you?” you groan upwards to the ceiling.

He retracts from your neck to swing his head side to side, grumbling a “Sorry, we can stop...” yet you interrupt his apology by cupping his covered length. The guttural groan he exhales into your lips makes you shiver with pleasure.

“Doesn’t mean we still can’t have fun with our hands...” you say slyly.

“Fuck yeah,” he rasps, smirking, before diving in again to taste your mouth.

Clothes are stripped with the assistance of each other, leaving you with only your bra on while Yangyang opts to be completely bare. He tops your body in the same position once more.

On the couch arm rest, your head is perched with his hand clutching the space next to it for leverage. Both figures are too scatter-brained to delve into the exquisite nudity of one another, hands flying desperately to your respective arousals.

Your pretty fingers wrap around his possession almost exactly when he dips two digits into your warmth. In unison, two sharp, quiet gasps pierce the room.

“Shit, you’re so wet,” he hisses observantly. You’re so overwhelmed by the bliss that you can’t assemble any sort of response.

Your mouth’s parted to one side, chest soaring with each plunge. Through his clouded vision, he ambles over your curves and lines and yearns to see your breasts, but he respects your choice of keeping it on and opts to ambush the expanse with kisses. Your chest is launched further into his mouth and Yangyang assumes you’re enjoying this.

Fearing friction burn, you drop him from your grip momentarily, swiping a few licks over your palm. When your hand pumps him again, now drenched with saliva, grunts reverberate against your skin.  

“Yangyang?” you whimper, causing his face to pull away from the temple of your body.

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m-I’m close.” And he can attest to it; the contractions around him are increasing, harshly squeezing his fingers.    

“Same,” he pants.

Your best friend flicks his wrist with ignition, securing your waves of elation. You attempt to do the same, but it’s difficult when he’s also sloppily thrusting himself into your fist, so you simply clench your grasp harder. His features pinch and choppy moans dribble as he yields to his climax, gushing himself over your stomach.  

Still sucking in lungfuls of air, Yangyang kisses you tenderly before removing himself to clean up the mess he made.

Following the clean-up, while putting on your clothes, Yangyang expresses how he should get going since it’s getting late.

“Did you wanna stay the night?” you pipe up.

His mind races, debating on whether to leave or not, anxious to blur the lines of your relationship even further.

Sure, he’s your temporary boyfriend, thus staying over at your place shouldn’t mean anything. But this agreement is ending next week, and he’s questioning if you two can stay just friends after this, knowing that he’s going to want more. Yangyang has had a taste of the what if, and it’s now irrevocable.

He wants you all for himself. Selfishly, but deeply.

For the sake of keeping this a great thing for you, he shoves his thoughts aside. This is all about you and for your benefit, anyhow.

“Uh, sure, I can take the couch like I always—”

“Yangyang, you just put your fingers inside of me,” you snicker, snagging him by the hand to your bedroom. “C’mon.”

The rest of the night is relatively chaste with some kisses and touches here and there. Eventually, you fall asleep facing each other with your fingers interlocked, excited for the big day tomorrow.

DECEMBER 25th

Normally on Christmas, Yangyang and you spend it with your respective families, but coincidentally, both of your families, your parents being retired and all, ended up vacationing this year, leaving the two of you to spend it with each other.

After getting up around noon, Yangyang heads to his place to grab his gift. He takes longer than you expected because, as it turns out, he also went home to grab baking goods he bought beforehand since he wants to make butter cookies with you today.

The cookies end up fine, but the mess is another story. Besides the chaos on the counter, your faces and aprons are splotched with flour (you swear he started it, but he disagrees and stands his ground that you’re the perpetrator). With a damp cloth, Yangyang aids you to clean, but not forgetting to wipe your face and giving you pecks over your cheeks and nose.  

The baking and aftermath occupies most of the afternoon, so dinner comes in the form of fancy, romantic instant ramen for two. Afterwards, you two sit in your living room and start to exchange gifts.  

Yangyang hands his over to you first. From the size of the gift and the crumpled, oddly-shaped wrapping, you already can guess it’s a stuffed plushie of a cute animal to add to your never ending collection. You hug it tightly with a large smile.

“It’s so cute, thank you!” you squeal, but you change your expression in an instant to a serious pout. “But you can’t steal this one like you did with my Ice Bear plushie.”

“Hey, I didn’t steal Ice Bear, I just forgot to give him back.” You roll your eyes sarcastically and he laughs. “I’ll bring him over tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”  

Then, when it’s your turn, you head into your bedroom and come out with a large, white shopping bag. His eyebrows raise, unsure of what could warrant a gift this size.

“For being my holiday boyfriend,” you grin, placing the bag in front of his feet.  

Despite the hugest smile on your face, his heart sinks at the label for a second, but he blinks and wills himself to look inside the bag.

His eyes shoot open, so much that you’re scared you might have to stuff them back into his sockets.

Yangyang slips the box out of the bag with precision and stares at it speechlessly.

It’s the new Playstation.

He shifts his eyes toward you. You’re swaying on the couch, pleased by his reaction.  

“Your parents paid for most of it, so I can’t take all the credit.” Sticking a finger in the air, you add, “You just gotta promise to share custody with me though—”

A hand behind your head yanks you into a deep kiss. He’s not the only one left speechless on the couch. He places the top of his head against yours.

“You’re crazy, but I love—” He quickly catches himself from saying something he might regret. “—I love it so much, thank you. Now I feel bad for getting you only the stuffed animal...”

You shake your head softly, brushing your thumb against his cheekbone.

“Thank you for everything.” Your eyes twinkle. “I couldn’t have asked to spend the holidays with anyone else.”

Carefully, like a newborn baby, he safely situates the boxed Playstation to one side and nabs your lips with his again. The scene feels like repeat of last night as your bodies wrestle passionately on the couch.

“Not to be presumptuous,” he mutters between the kisses upon your neck. Your eyelids flutter at the sensation. “But I also grabbed condoms from my place when I stopped by.”

His words sends the two of you leaping towards your bedroom. Under the dim lighting, you fall into the bed as Yangyang pares your layers off, one by one. With each peel, his lips roam the revealing bare skin. You swear he has kissed you from your literal head to toe when you’re fully nude in front of him.

Your companion drags his shirt over his head, throws it off to your floor, and immediately targets in onto your nub with his mouth, finally satiating his craving from last night.

Fingers thread into his hair and over his flexed back. His tongue swirls and his teeth lightly tug on your perkiness, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. And he still isn’t even inside you yet.

After leaving love upon your other bosom, Yangyang fumbles with the condom, forgetting which way it should go on. Giggling, you perch yourself onto your elbows and assist him. Rolling it over his possession, you recline yourself back and spread your legs for him.

Pensively, he sticks his tongue out as he adjusts himself between your sex, easing himself into you, and upon the full impact, you meet his gaze head-on. His stare makes you feel vulnerable and exposed beyond the physical plane.  

But, unlike the others you have been with, you trust him with everything, like you always have, and be free with him. Losing your inhibitions and submitting to your whims, you entangle and become one with Yangyang.  

Behind his hazy vision, Yangyang’s simply thinking how beautiful you are, how he can’t imagine anyone else under his touch but you, how he is willing to give up anything to make you smile.

Well, in this case, he’s willing to give up anything to make you pleased.

However, it doesn’t seem like he needs to do much because you’re howling his name and clinging onto his skin and the sheets in a frenzy, like you’re about to die of exhaustion.

You perish a few times under him before he finally reaches his little death himself, convulsing into the sheath.

When air’s replenished into your bodies, you rest on his chest under your blanket. Glancing up at him, you move some of his tousled hair off his sleek forehead.

“Merry Christmas, Yangyang,” you whisper, snuggling him with a satisfied smile.

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he whispers back, giving you one last peck before you both drift into a deep slumber together.  

DECEMBER 26th

Last night took so much out of the both of you, you don’t get out of bed until about the middle of the afternoon. Yangyang doesn’t have anything planned for today since it’s Boxing Day, since the crowds might be crazy wherever you go, so it’s officially a chill, rest day for you both.

When you step out of the shower in fresh clothes, from behind the couch, you watch Yangyang gaming on his Switch.

The little voice in your head looms, prompting that now is the time to have The Talk, and speaks up on your behalf.

“Do we have to end things next week?” you croak.

You see Yangyang’s shoulders stiffen, then he pauses the game and turns around to face you. His gaze follows you as you step closer to the couch, opting to stand.  

“Uhm.” His Adam’s apple bobs and he shrugs. “It’s up to you, it’s your—”

“Yangyang, that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what you think, how do you feel?”

His lips press together and he’s staring at the floor. You can tell the gears are moving, but you can’t read his expression clearly.

“I’m down for whatever you want to do,” he says slowly, eyes still averting yours.

That’s a I’m-your-best-friend answer, you deduce. Not a I-want-to-be-your-actual-boyfriend answer.  

He adds, stuttering, “I mean, I wouldn’t mind doing this a little longer if that’s what you want—”

Your face scrunches in annoyance. “Did you just sign up to be my short-term boyfriend so you can fill my empty heart?”

His eyebrows crease with confusion. “I mean, I never want to see you unhappy.”

“So it’s pity dating then?” you lash, raising your voice.

“No, I—” Yangyang bites down on his tongue, almost letting the one word slip out again. He blows out a lengthy sigh and runs a hand through his hair. “I care about you, so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”

You’re defining his words as an affirmation of friendship and as an underlying rejection of your love.

You need to know for certain.

“Do you love me, Yangyang?” you blurt. “As more than a friend?”

This is it, Yangyang thinks. This is your chance to let her know how you feel.

But the distress written on your face makes him wonder if he should even go through with it, and it’s intensifying with every passing moment that he’s not speaking.  

If only he knew your distress was deepening because you took his hesitance as absolute rejection.  

Your heart is breaking because of him, and he technically wasn’t even yours to begin with.

You smack your lips together and gulp a few times, trying to make the huge knot in your throat disappear.

“You know what, maybe let’s just forget this arrangement and leave it all behind and forget about the sex and—”

“You wanna stop this?” he utters quietly.

The word “this” hangs heavy in the air. This, carrying the weight of not only being the temporary agreement, but also your friendship.

“Yeah,” you whisper, tears beginning to blur your eyes. “I think I do.”

DECEMBER 28th

Two days have passed since you last saw Yangyang.

That day before he left, Yangyang, feeling guilty for how events unfolded, wanted to give back the Playstation, but you insisted for him to keep it. In spite of everything, it was a Christmas gift to him from you and his parents.

But both of you weren’t sure if the shared custody promise was going to be held up.  

In hopes that things would eventually get better and heal itself, Yangyang thought it’d be best to leave you alone for a while, like how he usually did.

And maybe he was right to do so, but this time is different.

Because he’s on the other end of the stick now; he’s the one who broke your heart.  

Under regular circumstances, whenever you needed space, he was always ready to be there by your side.

But Yangyang’s uncertain if you’re going to let him comfort you this time.  

And you’re uncertain if you even want him to.

DECEMBER 30th

Today, Yangyang finally makes the move to get in touch with you, texting you to call him, but you don’t, so he leaves a voicemail later in the evening.

“There’s a New Year’s party I’m going to tomorrow,” he starts off, then spews the specific details.

There’s a pause and you hear shuffling in the background. You assume he’s pacing around.

“I know you ended our agreement, but I wouldn’t mind fulfilling my end since New Year’s is the last day tomorrow. I’d be really glad if you came to the party with me, whether it be as my friend or my girlfriend.”

Another pause.

On the other end, Yangyang rubs his palm over his face, considering whether or not he should say it. If you picked up the phone call, he was going to do it anyway, but this just felt improper. He wants to say it when he knows you’re listening in real-time, so he ends off the message with:

“I miss you. So much.”

DECEMBER 31st

It’s 8:40PM. Before Yangyang buses out to the party, he’s back at your front door for one more shot. His fist taps at your door, cognizant that you wouldn’t be elsewhere since your other friends are out of town for the holidays. Despite that, you don’t come to the door. Nevertheless, he speaks to you through the wooden barrier.

“Hey, I know you want to be left alone, but I just wanted to see if you changed your mind about the party.”

Still no answer. He lets out a sigh and prays the following will incite a reaction from you.  

“About the question that you asked me that night...”

He closes his eyes and allows his mouth to carry him.

“I do. I do love you. As both my best friend and more. I’m sorry if I hurt you that night by not saying anything, but I love you so much and I think we should give us a shot.”

Still no answer. Yangyang continues.

“Look, I know it’s scary and crazy to date your best friend. I’m scared too, but you know what? I’m okay with being scared. I’ve watched you gone through those assholes over the last few years and maybe you’re scared I’ll end up like one of them, but unlike them, I don’t think you’re horrible or needy or emotional—you’re beautiful, intelligent, and strong for putting up with all those fuckers.”

He leans his forehead gently against the door.

“And even if we ever do break up, and this is a big if because I’ll always try my hardest with you to make it work, I’ll still be your friend. I promise. You won’t lose me ‘cause I need you in my life. I gotta keep my end up for the custody of the Playstation, right?”

A smile breaks over his face from his joke, but still. Radio silence.  

“Can you at least say something?” he begs.

After a few minutes, realizing he needs to probably give you more time to be left alone, he departs and heads to the party.

Originally, you actually were planning on attending the party to see Yangyang to make-up with him.

Unfortunately, out of all the days you had to take a late afternoon nap, it had to be today.

And you overslept. Big time. 

At 10:55PM, you scramble awake, realizing you’re absolutely late to the event. Since the party’s downtown, you know calling an Uber or Lyft there would be fast, but tonight’s the worst night for any share riding service and there aren’t any available drivers. Thus, you have to manage with busing there.

It’s 11:40PM when you finally reach downtown, but the bus can’t take you all the way to the core centre where the party is; hordes of people are out on the streets and traffic is dreadful. God, you’re going to be cutting it close to midnight, but you make a run for it.

You’re grateful the party is on the second floor of a small building because you slide in right through the entrance at 11:58PM. You rush to call Yangyang’s phone, hoping he’ll pick up as you try to find him in the scattered groups of people.

You begin to holler for him in hopes he can hear you, but the countdown is happening, drowning out your voice. Thirty seconds left until the clock strikes for the new year.

When his number finally goes to voicemail, you redial his number. Suddenly, a hand grasps you by the wrist.

Yangyang looks at you, dumbfounded.

“When did you get here?”  

The harmonious chanting around you floods your surroundings.

“Ten, nine, eight...”

Getting closer to him, you practically scream into Yangyang’s face, trusting he’ll hear what you’re about to say.

“I know Christmas is over, but I want to change my wish.”

“Seven, six, five...”

“I know you might not feel the same and I know things might not work out.”

“Four, three, two...”

”But I wish to date you past New Year’s until whenever, however long we last.”

“One...”

“I love you, Yangyang—”

The one you love snatches you by the waist and your cheek, stealing your lips at the last millisecond before midnight.

“Happy New Year!”

A wave of noisemakers, clappers, and hollering erupt around the room. After it dies down a bit, Yangyang shocks you with a scolding.

“Why didn’t you say anything when I came over?!”

Confusion rushes over you. You realize he probably came by when you were sleeping. 

“You came over?!”

“Yeah, I confessed my love for you.”

“Wait,” you blink blankly, unsure if you heard him correctly. “Your love?”

“Yeah,” he nods, giving you his cheesy, adorable smile.  “I love you.”

“As more than a friend?” you clarify.

“Babe,” Yangyang’s thumb caresses your cheek. “I don’t think I could ever go back to wanting less with you.”

Your lips tremble with relief as your gaze melts in his.

“And, anyway, who else am I going to share the Playstation with?”

“Well, I mean, you do have Hendery, Xiaojun, Winwin...” you start to count his infinite list of friends on your fingers.  

“Yeah, but I need you so I can constantly beat your cute little butt at games.”

“You do not constantly beat my cute little butt at games, I’ll have you know that I beat you at—”  

Yangyang shuts you up with another kiss, the one of many for the rest of the night.

JANUARY 2nd

It’s your second morning at Yangyang’s place. You’ve only done it a few times now, but you realize that waking up in his arms is one of the greatest feelings in the world, second only to his kisses.  

In his bed, spooning you from behind, he grumbles into the nape of your neck, “Morning, girlfriend.”  

Half-awake, you mumble back, “Morning, boyfriend,” and sink deeper into the curve of his body.

Content, you finally broke your string of cursed holiday break-ups for good.  

And all it took was to be with the one who was in front of you all this time.

[chainofclovers]

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

[medalloway-blog]

Sirius x OC fanfics

This is a list with my fav fanfics with Sirius and Original female characters - all multichapters fanfictions. 

Why So Sirius? by gryffindorcutie | Complete (18 Chapters) | Sirius Black x  Ariel Prewitt | Sirius Black is five years into his life sentence at Azkaban Asylum when the Wizengamot decides to revisit his case with a hearing.Ariel Prewitt is a jaded reporter for the Daily Prophet who is dying for something exciting to shake up her boring routine. The universe answers her drunken prayers when she is given the interview opportunity of a lifetime. | A very, very favourite one! Very smutty, yes, but with a sweet and loving plot. It’s alternate universe and Sirius has a happy ending in this one.

War Of Attrition by siriusblackfoot | Incomplete (6 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Devin (Muggle) | London, 1980. Sirius Black is on the front lines of the First Wizarding War as Voldemort's army threatens everything he holds dear. The Order is struggling to stay afloat. Friends are starting to look like enemies, and enemies are starting to look like friends.What a horribly inconvenient time to fall in love. | This fanfiction has so much potential, I really hope @siriusblackfoot will finish it one day. The few released chapters are thrilling! 

Stray by Molly Raesly | Complete (16 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Eliza Boyd (Muggle) |  Sirius Black's motorbike fails in the middle of a torrential downpour, and he seeks shelter in a rundown diner. While at first he just returns to fix his bike, the young muggle waitress might be another reason to stay for some pie. | This is a cute, comforting fanfic, I quite like it. In my mind, I always had the belief Sirius would fall in love with a Muggle.

Snuffles by Mish123 | Complete (18 Chapters) | Older Sirius Black x Dove Alby | Dove works at The Three Broomsticks in Hogsmeade. Little did she know, feeding the town’s stray dog would put her down a dangerous path. | Really like this one, funny, fluff and smutty. Enjoy!

Pureblood by @twoidiotwriters1 | Ongoing (Book Two) - Book One finished (41 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Persephone Singh | The Singh family has lived in the British wizarding world for several decades. Their policy of purebloods has prevailed along with their hatred for muggles.This ideology is shared by many families, but especially with the Malfoys and the Blacks. All the wizarding world knew who these families were, and they were respected and admired, even feared.The last Singh generation was conformed by Ares Singh II, his wife Amelia, and their five children: Apollo, Isis, Juno, Balder, and Persephone. As expected, this family attended Hogwarts and they all have been part of either Slytherin or Ravenclaw. Their pride is lasting, and the adults make sure to inculcate all traditions to their children.But their story will soon be threatened by the changes that the youngest Singh is trying to accomplish. And it all starts when she and her best friend Sirius Black begin their first year at Hogwarts in 1971. | I am still in the first chapters of Book One, but so far, so good, I am totally hooked.

The Rosier Runaway: A Sirius Black Love Story by kittythebutterfly | Ongoing (8 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Florence Rosier |  A Marauders Era Hogwarts story, that explores the darker side of the wizarding world, and follows two young people that reject their family's involvement in the increasingly popular dark magic group, the Death Eaters. Instead, they join their friends to protect the wizarding world, and turn to each other for support in finding the courage needed, and help with rejecting their family's expectations.

1976 by ASomewhatCuriousInvitation | Ongoing (13 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Lara Love | Life had been somewhat simple for Sirius Black and Lara Love. Hogwarts in the 1970's had been their arena, and they were the champions. Separate champions, of course. Content to ignore each other as worthy opponents often do in the face of certain defeat. That is, until a chance encounter in the summer of 1976 opened their worlds to the poignant possibility of each other. It was from then, along with the changing seasons, that something began brewing between their stolen glances and stifled thoughts that risked everything: their bodies, their sanities, their hearts. OR, in which two stubborn and secretly broken teens try to deny their feelings but fall in love anyway. It would have been easier to single-handedly take on the giant squid.

How to tame a Marauder by melian225 | Complete (60 Chapters) | Sirius Black x Laura Cauldwell | This fanfic is structured as a coming-of-age story rather than a traditional romance, and covers the last three years of the Marauders' schooling. |  Suggested by a reader and I’ll soon start reading it (added to the list 12th April 2021)

For the Greater Good by thesearethebadlands | Incomplete (7 chapters) | Sirius Black x Nora Selwyn | Even though it’s incomplete the written plot is totally worth it. Nora Selwyn disappeared from the Wizarding world fifteen years ago with a heavy heart and a warrant out for her arrest. She hid in the Muggle world to avoid facing the consequences of being a Death Eater and betraying those closest to her, including one Sirius Black. But when the Dark Lord rises again, she must choose between her shadowy past and a new start with the Order.

Let me know if you have any other suggestions to add to this list.

[luulapants]

Teen Wolf’s Skinwalkers and the Terminal Narrative

There are plenty of plot holes and missed opportunities to bitch about in Teen Wolf, but the one that gets me worked up the most is probably the skinwalkers storyline. I’ve written a ficlet based on my headcanons for them, mostly out of my ire that they didn’t even get names, but today I’d like to rant at you about how the skinwalkers storyline is a symptom and perpetuation of a toxic way that non-indigenous North Americans talk about indigenous peoples: the terminal narrative.

What is a terminal narrative?

The phrase is used to describe two deeply interrelated trends in modern accounts of Native Americans. The first is the tendency to talk about colonial-era Indigenous Americans as if they were already a dead/dying race, to insist that the Americas were sparsely populated when Europeans first arrived and, “anyway, disease is really what mostly killed them off, not colonizers.” The second is to continue that trend on into the modern day, talking about indigenous peoples as a relic of the past, extinct. This second narrative may agree that the genocide of the Americas was truly horrific but, you see, it’s already over, nothing to be done about it now! Ignoring, of course, that there is still a large, vibrant population of indigenous people in North America, that their abuse is not some long-past historical lesson (the last residential school closed in the 1990s!), and that the horrendous effects of colonial displacement, genocide, and cultural suppression are still felt to this day. Terminal narratives are a means of minimizing the modern white American’s responsibility to make reparations to indigenous people.

Okay, so let’s go back to Teen Wolf - how do the Skinwalkers play into the terminal narrative?

To refresh your memory, the skinwalkers are introduced in season 4 when Kira is having trouble controlling her kitsune powers. For some reason, her mother Noshiko decides that the skinwalkers are the right people to help her. They drive to New Mexico, where they meet these ladies:

The skinwalkers are portrayed as nameless relics of the past

The skinwalkers are terrifying, ferocious, covered in dust and clothed only in animal pelts. To be fair, this isn’t entirely out of line with the skinwalker myth as far as it is known by outsiders. (Disclaimer: this, like many Navajo myths, is not openly shared with outsiders, and so my knowledge, as someone who is not Navajo, is incomplete.) Traditionally, a skinwalker is an evil witch (of any gender) who began as a shaman but was unable to resist the allure of dark magic. They can don animal pelts and acquire the abilities of those animals and even shapeshift into them.

However, even if this image of the skinwalkers makes sense purely in the context of myth, it does not fit within the framework of how other mythical beings operate in the Teen Wolf universe. Even if Teen Wolf were following the ‘evil witch’ story, evil characters are routinely humanized on the show. In fact, the story of how one becomes a skinwalker sounds very much like the story, which Teen Wolf explains in detail, of how a Druid becomes a Darach (which itself is a bit of a bastardization of Celtic mythology). But unlike the white Darach (who gets significant screen and speaking time, a dramatic back story, and not one but two names), the skinwalkers are nameless, given no backstory, and have very few lines, all of them focused on Kira’s problem.

(I won’t get into how their role in the story basically reduces them to the trope of Magical Native American or Noble Savage, but there is a LOT to be said there.)

Furthermore, every other magical being in Teen Wolf is fully modernized. Noshiko Yukimura, despite being 900 years old, is fully integrated into modern society. The werewolves and druids are not shown to have much in the way of old-school lifestyles or dress. Even the family of wendigos, insatiable cannibals, have modernized so well that they live in a McMansion with a walk-in freezer full of human corpses! Wendigos are another indigenous mythical creature, but the one we meet is portrayed by a white actor and gets a name - Sean Walcott - despite his very brief appearance. (Side note, I don’t consider it whitewashing for a white actor to portray a wendigo. In fact, many post-contact wendigo stories, told by several native tribes, were about ill-prepared white colonists who got lost in the woods, resorted to cannibalizing their traveling companions, and became monsters.)

Yet, despite every other mythical being in Teen Wolf wearing the latest from Macy’s, the skinwalkers are clad in nothing but animal skins, face paint, and dust. They look like something from the past, practically primeval. They are nameless, without context, a mysterious people so far removed from us that they hardly seem like people at all.

The skinwalkers are completely separate from reality and civilization

Kira is warned, when she goes to the skinwalkers for help, that if she is unable to control her powers, she will be forced to stay and become one of them until she learns. Being with the skinwalkers means being completely cut off from the rest of the world, unable to see or talk to her friends or family. (What, the skinwalkers can’t get Skype?)

We aren’t told how old the skinwalkers are, but given how long a kitsune can live, it’s suggested that her banishment might continue longer than her friends will even be alive. To stay with them is a fate so horrible that her mother, who brought her to them in the first place, helps to fight them off so Kira can escape.

The skinwalkers come to represent death and nonexistence

Later, when the skinwalkers help Kira to defeat Theo, we are thrown an odd curveball: they are somehow in contact with Theo’s sister, who drags him to the underworld, where she is, to torture him. There’s a lot to unpack in that storyline, but most relevant to our topic is this: the skinwalkers are connected to the underworld and death.

Considering how the prospect of Kira going with them is framed, it’s almost as if they are death itself. Indeed, when the showrunners decided to get rid of Kira’s character, they did so by sending her away with the skinwalkers, never to be seen again. By becoming a skinwalker, Kira basically ceases to exist.

In summary, these native characters are framed as dead, as death, as ageless figures from an unknown time past. They are not people, not really. Like the shrieking savages in old Western movies, they are an exotic action sequence. They are part of the scenery in the desert, showing us a wild and mythic past which is not part of our modern world. There is no talk of modern indigenous people, not even an implication of them. The Yukimuras never stop by one of the nearby Navajo reservations to ask a modern Navajo in modern clothes where they can find the skinwalkers.

No, like in our myth of the colonial past, they journey directly into a mostly empty wilderness, where the few inhabitants are strange, violent, and unknowable primitives, who vanish into the dust when they are no longer relevant to the story.

[bridgertonbabe]

100% full credit to you for creating a story and plot that I have such a visceral reaction to. And I'm sorry but I really cannot help but feel so bad for Benedict. It seems like he is being punished far worse than Violet. Obviously we don't know what happened between him and Sophie but I cannot help but feel more sympathy for him than Violet. I just don't see how this ONE mistake that HE never made public, but his daughter did, as she decided to use this information against him to make him look like an asshole has caused such a huge rift in an otherwise loving family. Could he have handled her season better? Yes, but she's 18! (not infantalizing but c'mon 18yo are babies in the scheme of the world) Could he handled the news better? Yes. But again...she's 18! He's completely normal for questioning her. It definitely escalated into something it shouldn't have but why does she still have support after she intentionally said those things to rile him up but he's the only person being punished for his outburst? Anyways I know you're doing it for the drama and the angst but my heart hurts lol, I love Benedict. Okay the end, great chapter! You made me sad but your words did That™ so more power to you haha

So, based off of the argument they had and nothing else, the family wouldn't be at such odds as they are at the moment. However, there is some stuff that was said after Violet left and Benedict, still aggravated and hurt from what his daughter said, lashed out and said something he really didn't mean to Sophie. He was so caught up in the heat of his fury, still venomous with what Violet said that he turned on the only person left who reminded him so greatly of his daughter, and unfortunately as Violet takes so much after Sophie, his own wife ended up in his firing line. Sophie was outraged that he talked so horribly to his daughter, but for him to then turn on her and say something so very cruel, she was aghast and could no longer bear to look at him; he was a far cry from the man she married in that moment. I'm keeping my cards close to my chest atm of what exactly was said, but I plan to write a whole mini story about their fall-out at a later date which will reveal all - but don't worry, husband and wife will definitely reconcile and we will see them reunite shortly in Violet's story.

In regards to the argument, Sophie and Violet I were shocked to hear Violet knew of Benedict asking her mother to be his mistress (her grandmother never knew this for starters), but in the newest chapter Charlie criticises his sister for rearing the subject up once more. What the family are most appalled by within the argument is what Benedict ended up calling Violet in response to her goading him. Had he simply ordered her to her room or reprimanded her for her insolence, they'd be more forgiving towards him; but he called his own daughter a bitch, and that was a step too far in all of their eyes. Yes he was provoked, but as the elder he should have known better not to lower himself to such an aggrieved level.

But I love that Violet and Benedict's feud is causing such a reaction! Yes the story is mainly Violet's pov so we're going to get more of her side and her feelings on the matter, but it doesn't mean we can't feel bad for Benedict. He's spent everyday of the last twenty-five years loving Sophie and the family they've made and now suddenly his daughter hates him and somehow his sons and wife have been driven away from him; of course it's natural to feel sorry for him, even if he did act out in a way he never has before. I really appreciate all the feedback and hearing your reaction - I can only apologise for any upset, but I do live for the drama written by my own hand!

(And Benedict is my favourite Bridgerton, I would never write him so despicably but I wanted to create such a divide between him and his daughter, both of whom adore each other. Yes he would do anything for Violet but he is so protective of her that this is where all of his problems are arising from because he's acting and speaking without much thought.)

[whateverthedragonswant]

I gave this a watch and it was pretty interesting:

This video blew my mind a little and I have some thoughts. 

I knew about some of Jensen’s and Misha’s and the show’s reactions to the idea of Destiel in the past after getting a crash course in the last few months on here (Jim Michaels is still an ass I see, shocker) not to mention a certain section of the fandom’s reactions (yep, that section) but daaammmn I had no idea how horribly hardcore people were to smack the destiel shippers down. I mean, I get that there were some who took it too far, but the others who hadn’t? Holy crap.

I know, the idea of Destiel started at a time where representation for LGBTQ+ was incredibly difficult to come by, especially in mainstream television. I mean, Brokeback Mountain was treated as a joke by most of society though it was an incredibly beautiful film and story, with even more amazing performances by two hard-hitting actors and helmed by one of the most talented directors of the last 20+ years. “I can’t quit you” was the beginning of that very joke many people, in and out of the entertainment industry, told time and time again that year. And that was just 2005. (funnily enough, the same year this show started but I digress)

But like this person stated in the video, the suggestion of Destiel was written into the show. People didn’t just pull it out of thin air. Misha/Cas first appeared on the show in 2008. We know they swapped out Anna’s story line with Cas’. We know there was a lot of incidental chemistry between Jensen and Misha onscreen together but the camera didn’t seem to shy away from these intense staring contests they shared or from Jensen licking his lips in thought so often, and it even seemed to be encouraged at some point (where in the script it literally says “eyefuck”). Like it’s said in the video, at some point, the show knew what they were working with and eventually played into it, whether they planned to have any eventual follow through or not. So, it was incredibly mind boggling for me to hear what fans of this pairing have endured before season 15 turned that Destiel up to ultra-high on the SPN stove, and moved it into one of the main plot lines of the season. I mean, I’ve seen it ever since November 5th 2020, how many people will go to great lengths to invalidate what happened canonically in the 15x18 episode that Misha then confirmed is definitely Cas confessing his romantic love to Dean. That was shocking and terrible all on its own but then to find out those who worked on the show have done this, too? I’m not talking about Jensen’s “Destiel doesn’t exist” or them not being allowed to talk about it earlier in the show’s running era. I mean, the fact that the show wrote it in, heavily suggested it starting in season 8 (for me, personally, that’s when I see the shift), and then some of them tried to call people who saw what they were doing crazy? Um...what? I believe this person in the video is right to call it gaslighting because that’s exactly what it is when they wrote it in but had no plans to follow through. It’s not a nod to fans or fan service in any way when you do that, whether it’s this relationship or any other, regardless of race, gender, orientation, and culture. As much as I enjoyed SPN and I know the guys enjoyed the environment on set (which I’m glad they had, I think we all would love to have workplace environments like that), I truly hope that this particular team never has another mainstream show like this (not talking about J2M or the cast or even the crew). Because that type of gaslighting, that type of behavior (even Guy Bee? really? Guy, why were you even on Twitter discussing it? And with Michaels attached no less? Regardless of whether at the time Destiel was a thing or not - what ever happened to professionalism?) when you’re dialed into your fandom on purpose in the way they were (SPNFamily, right? unbelievable) and knew how people felt about the possibility of this pairing, real or not. That is just all kinds of fucked up. It’s one thing for fans to want a pairing to happen that either does or doesn’t become canon, but to write it into the show later on, leaning heavily into it for ratings, but still call the fans crazy for actually seeing what you’re actually putting into the show? What is that?

It’s all said and done, it happened, some stuff didn’t happen (*mumbles* “Like Cas being rescued from The Empty from someone besides Jack or Dean answering said love confession in any way”), but ultimately, it’s all over. I get it. But I guess it was just shocking to see how far the gaslighting (I am definitely calling it that because that’s exactly what it was) and baiting/queerbaiting went on the show’s end. I’m just...wow.

Regardless, whether you agree with this person or not, definitely check this video out. It’s worth the watch.

[dtrhwithalex]

BOOK | Grisha Trilogy (Leigh Bardugo)

Shadow and Bone (2012), Siege and Storm (2013), Ruin and Rising (2014)

I came to this world through the Netflix adaptation SHADOW AND BONE which came out earlier this year, and after, to my huge surprise, falling in love with these stories, I decided I would have to give these books a go as well. I've been aware of the Grishaverse for quite some time now but probably especially since SIX OF CROWS came out in 2016 and tumblr went completely batshit for one (1) Kaz Brekker. I am always kind of wary when it comes to entertainment that tumblr goes nuts for, especially when it is YA fiction, because I do not quite trust the general consensus (I was sorely disappointed by Donna Tartt's THE SECRET HISTORY which I found tremendously boring). So actually, I've been actively avoiding reading this book series until now. But then the Netflix adaptation happened and well—you can blame (or thank) Ben Barnes, because he is pretty much at fault for this alone. Anyway, enough preamble.

I've just recently finished reading the last book of the trilogy and I have to say, I have to my surprise really enjoyed these books! I've also read the short stories THE WITCH OF DUVA after the first book, and THE TAILOR and THE TOO-CLEVER FOX after the second, and will be reading LITTLE KNIFE and THE DEMON IN THE WOOD before I move on to the Crows duology. I am reading the short stories according to publication year and not specific date, so they might not be completely in release order.

Reading SHADOW AND BONE I was very much always thinking back and comparing to the plot of the show since that was my original basis for the story. I am not too fond of first person narratives as I prefer things to be written in third person, but I've found that it did not bother me all that much in these books. What I realised though, was that I liked the show a bit more than the book, because it goes beyond Alina's story and the information a reader gets through her focalisation. We get to see Mal's story instead of only hearing of some of it when he and Alina are finally reunited once she leaves the Little Palace, which to me also made the character a whole lot more likable and interesting than in the books. I've also found that I really enjoyed the integration of the Crows in the show because it made the time leading up to and including the Winter Fete that much more interesting. Generally, I really liked most of the changes they made to the story for the adaptation—Alina scheming to get on the skiff, the Darkling's claw ring instead of the knife, that Alina seems to ride the entire way to Os Alta with the Darkling, the explicit consent given at the Winter Fete, erasing the scar, the fact that Alina and Mal don't kiss during the search of the stag. I would have loved to see some of the early scenes like in the book though, especially Alina and Mal on the way to Kribirsk and nearly getting run over by the Grisha carriages. I am also not entirely sure what I want to think about the change of Morozova's collar. I thought it was super dope that it was actually mended into her collarbone, but I am uncertain about her being able to completely melt it into her body and have it disappear like that. But generally, I really liked this first book. I think it does a pretty good job of establishing the world through Alina's eyes and gearing up the plot of the three novels.

SIEGE AND STORM then, of course, gave me my first look into the Grishaverse that was not completely informed by the adaptation. I was super surprised how quick it became clear to them that the Darkling had survived the events in the Fold and for him to catch up with them. I loved the sequences on the Volkvolny with Sturmhond though. And although I was aware that there was a character called Nikolai in this universe, it took me forever to catch on that he was Sturmhond, and when that reveal came I was very much happily blown away. I am super excited to see that character translated to screen (when, not if, the show finally gets renewed for a second season). I really enjoyed the hunt for Rusalye, the introduction of Tamar and Tolya, and for the role Genya gets to play in that sequence. Also, when first getting into this universe, my immediate first thought was, why don't they just fly over the Fold. Do airborne crafts not exist in this world (yet)? No balloons or something like it? And then of course Sturmhond delivered which definitely helped solidify how much I like his character. I am an incredibly visual person, so I think my favourite bits of this book are all somehow related to how much I would like to see them brought to screen (it's either that, or just how much I want to see Ben and Jessie be brilliant in scenes together). The bond between Alina and the Darkling I really enjoyed a lot and also absolutely the scene in the chapel at the end with him believing that she has finally chosen his side, only for her to then try and kill him with their combined powers and merzost. An absolutely extraordinary scene and if Netflix does not renew this show and I never get to see Ben and Jessie fucking nail this scene, I might just riot.

I had to take a bit of a break in-between books two and three because of uni responsibilities, but I finally got around to reading RUIN AND RISING and finished it two days ago. I am very unsure if I liked the ending or not, but more on that later. I was very glad when they finally got out of the White Cathedral and back to the world above ground, because as cool as this undergound world is, the Apparat creeps me out and so does religious culty stuff. I loved the plotting and scheming though and the fact that Alina can control shadows to some extent. Very cool. Prince Nikolai to the rescue once more was also fantastic and the existence of the Spinning Wheel fascinates me to no end. That I definitely want to see translated on screen. Make me a beautiful observatory to fall in love with, Netflix, make me one! Loved the return of Baghra as well, and generally all of her moments at the Spinning Wheel. The Darkling's attack too was right up my alley, and nichevo'ya!Nikolai? Fucking dope, I love it. This novel especially makes for some great visuals that I can't wait to see on the show. Just gimme, all of it. I liked that the Firebird was not the third amplifier, and I find the idea of Mal being the amplifier instead quite intriguing. What I am not so sure about is the actual ending. I once again really loved the bond scenes between Alina and the Darkling, and I now absolutely see why some fans are upset about him giving up his real name so quickly in the show. I do wonder how that is going to play out eventually. I did like the Darkling's ending—his desperation at Alina losing her power, his plea to her that there will be no grave, and him asking for her to speak his name one last time. And I loved that, as horrible of a person he was, as much gruesome things he did, Alina still understood what drove him and still felt a certain kinship to that, and ultimately did also mourn him in a way. There is this echoing of that line from the show—"we could have had this, all of it"—if only he'd asked, and I absolutely love that. Their dynamic is just incredibly intriguing. The thing I am not sure about is Alina losing her power. Mal coming back to life, yeah okay maybe. The power of the Sun Summoner splitting and finding root in every otkazat'sya in the vicinity, that was amazing. But Alina completely losing her power? I don't know. I am not sure what I want to think about that. I see where it comes from but I don't think I like it.

Overall, I have to say, I really enjoyed this trilogy. I don't think I've read a YA series since the HP one which I grew up with. I am honestly very positively surprised by this fact. I am very excited to read on, especially since summer break has now officially started for me and I actually have the time to read. I know I mentioned some of the short stories in the beginning, but I think I will talk about those separately once I've read them all.

For now all that I can say is, damn you, Ben Barnes, for being this attractive as a bad guy, you alone are to blame that I am falling down this particular rabbit hole. Thanks so much.

[somestansomewhere]

Debbie Gallagher: ALL Love Interests RANKED

Okay! I tried to rank all of Debs’ love interests and it was hard to do because I am not set on that ONE PERSON that I ship her with above all else, but these are my thoughts! Keep in mind that these are all MY OPINIONS and you are entitled to yours as well! Let’s talk about it! If you read all this ILY.

Here we go:

...................................

23. The Guy At The Pool (Season 5)

He thought Debs was special needs and she tried to flirt with him...

22. Kelly (Season 9-10)

I LOVE Kelly so much but she was not into Debbie! I really love her with Carl and Debbie should not have tried to interfere! I will however say that I really really REALLY enjoy their friendship and I wish that that would have continued on. They had some really good moments together.

20/21. Eugene (Season 6) & Board Game Guy (Season 7)

Alright so these two don’t technically count because Frank tried to set Debbie up with Eugene so that she’d be written into his will. And the Board Game Guy was from a deleted scene as one of Debbie’s “life partners” from that flyer she made. So enough said.

18/19. Tyler (Season 6) & Erika (Season 6)

Again, Frank attempted to set Debbie up with Tyler and while that “potential relationship” wasn’t as bad as what happened between her and Erika, I am grouping them together because Debbie wasn’t technically into either of them and it was set up to fail right from the start.

17. Larry (Season 6)

The pregnancy fetish guy! I’m not quite sure what the intentions were for this character in the long run but it was a funny joke in the episode he was in. Even in the beginning Larry gave off red flags, but Debbie was happy... until the truth was revealed. Weird.

16. Jared (Season 11)

Another irrelevant love interest: the gay guy that cheated on his husband with Debbie after giving her cocaine. Obvious issues with this encounter/plot line aside, I did feel that their interactions at the bar were flirtatious and I didn’t hate him.

15. Calista (Season 11)

ANOTHER irrelevant character that was used and never brought back!!! I didn’t totally hate her either, she was upfront about her ex-girlfriend and that whole situation. She helped Debbie and didn’t take advantage of her but the second she came on screen; I’m sorry but I did not give a fuck. Her last episode built up a potential friend/relationship opportunity for Debbie and they just did nothing with it. Idfk what else to say, not a fan but I did appreciate Calista trying to take care of Debbie when she clearly was drinking too much.

14. Sandy (Season 10-11)

Oh boy, everyone’s favorite partner of Debbie’s... Yeah, Sandy is so low on this list not necessarily because I didn’t like her for Debbie, or that I have beef with Elise (b/c I love her as an actor sm). I personally just hate the sheer fact that this character EXISTS in the first place. I never understood the hype, but I know that people only like her because she’s a Milkovich ie. related to Mickey. That’s the hard truth this fandom isn’t willing to admit. My disliking Sandy should be a post of its own but lemme get into her relationship with Debbie.

You could tell that Emma and Elise liked working together so the chemistry was sorta there (definitely not soulmate shit tho). Each time that they interacted in s10 I was over it. S11 was better in the sense that whether I would like to admit it or not, they did have some “cute moments” (mainly just Sandy calling Debbie babe/babes). The second shit hit the fan in regards to Sandy’s history, I immediately understood Debbie’s issue with her and why her character would not want to be with Sandy. But, with that being said, Debbie was also in the wrong because she made everything about herself throughout the entire course of this relationship! Sandy did call her out, ex: “who was supposed to take Franny to school?”, and things like that were nice. HOWEVER I am sorry to say, this relationship felt like a massive waste of time and it felt like they were trying to force something that shouldn’t have existed to begin with. I don’t have the patience to even analyze this anymore, but maybe down the line because clearly there is SO MUCH to delve into!

13. Alex (Season 9)

Omg I did not like this relationship/plotline at all. Alex had issues but Debbie was so inconsiderate! I never saw the appeal here! It was nice that Alex had the decency to go and help Debs with Ford after the fact. I just feel “meh” about this tho. They had moments but ultimately I personally wasn’t into it and Debbie’s random newfound self discovery of “lesbianism”.

12. Kyle (Season 3)

Emma Kenney’s first kiss! Kyle was a one episode character that did have the potential to be more than that. I didn’t hate the kid as Debbie’s love interest, but there also wasn’t anything special about him. He was just kinda there and then he left. Debbie really seemed to like him though, spelling his name in her peas, etc.. I do like that one line about cigarettes that Kyle had but again he was such a short lived character and when he turned out not to be related to Kevin it became unnecessary to keep him around... even if the episode alluded to him returning. They were sorta cute!

11. Claudia (Season 10)

So I didn’t like this relationship much either but there was a certain kind of stability in the relationship that felt organic and nice. Partly because I enjoyed watching Constance Zimmer and she made Claudia likeable. Do I ship it? No. Was it a problematic dynamic? Yes. Was it a tolerable relationship? Eh. I didn’t hate it entirely though. Debbie, being a Gallagher, eventually fucked it up. And while I did like the drama, Debbie wasn’t REALLY into Claudia as much as she may have believed she was. So, it totally felt like a one off that would end with Claudia not returning... and it was. So there was no time for an investment of any kind.

10. Hedi (Season 11)

Gosh... Debbie’s endgame(?). Hedi was introduced too late for me to care enough about her (At this point it would have made sense for Debbie to wind up with Calista because at least she was already introduced!). I don’t necessarily like Hedi as a character and quite frankly it was a “who tf does SHE think she is” kinda deal for me. At first I was interested and didn’t hate her (and I don’t), but then she “thought she was Jimmy” and I instantly got annoyed (LOL I GUESS it was a nice nod to him tho... I guess).

My (several) problems with Hedi as a character aside, there IS something about Hedi being presented as this “dangerous badass” who is (somehow) WORSE than Debbie, that worked well. I’m not a fan of the ship, but it is an interesting dynamic in the sense that Debbie could potentially be “living on the edge”. I fear for what trouble this could cause Debbie BUT it’s like Frank referenced: Monica vibes. I don’t think it’s “true love” like Debbie said to Franny. A constant storyline for Debbie has been “why can’t anyone ever love me” and so she falls in quickly. Maybe Hedi will leave her but that’s the thing, “she’s done worse” so idk, either way I don’t think it’s meant to last! But I guess I don’t mind them being together! Karma’s a bitch! Will Carl tell her what Arthur found? Would it even make a difference?

9. Julia (Season 10)

I would have actually rather preferred her with Carl too! It was never love between Debbie and Julia, but the relationship did create good conflict for my viewing pleasure. UNPOPULAR OPINION, I didn’t mind Julia as a character at all. She was fine for me. I also enjoyed how ultimately SHE was only using Debbie in the end. Julia does admit later on that she was experiencing with her sexuality so maybe she did have feelings for Debbie at one point, which I thought was interesting. Debbie got herself into this one. At least Julia was more age appropriate than Claudia... (which is ironic since Debbie got in trouble for being with Julia when the age gap is MUCH bigger between Claudia and Debbie LOL I love it)! I also found Julia annoying Debbie to be amusing, that’s not to say that I liked her a lot either cuz I don’t!

8. Matty (Season 4-5)

Man do I feel bad for Matty! Debbie raped him and it was horrible. From the get-go when Matty was introduced the relationship was hella awkward!! And not only that but Debbie was a MINOR! Matty did do the right thing and said they couldn’t be together but a part of me will always feel strange that he WAS INITIALLY attracted to Debbie before learning her age. That to me is still wildly inappropriate. He shoulda cut it off. He did try to be her friend and took her to that dance which was cute but ahhh this was just a MESS all around. Cringe. At least he didn’t take advantage.

7. Henry (Season 4)

Speaking of Matty and that dance, Henry was supposed to take her. He asked her as a joke in order for Seama to inflict revenge on Debbie. If that weren’t the case however... DAMN THEY WERE CUTE! The potential that this relationship could have had! If only it wasn’t all an act! It was a “day worth of love” and sure that’s not enough for two people to REALLY be IT, yet there was something charming about their connection that I wish was real. Or idk maybe Henry could have reconnected with her later and apologized and it could have been revealed that he did actually like her... but that wasn’t the case. Fuck him!

6. Simon (Season 1-2)

Debbie was NOT interested in Simon at all but at the time he was almost like the male version of her. Their banter back and forth was fun to watch and he probably would have treated her well. It’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to even see their friendship progress. Their interactions were funny and he was a good guy!

5. Batiste (Season 10)

Y’all may not understand why this guy is so high on the list but a part of me wishes this character wasn’t a one off. Batiste is the dude Debbie tried to return her “unused” shoes to. If you can recall, he wanted a blowjob to take advantage of her. While this was a dick move (and the plot went nowhere) a part of me would have liked to see more! He did have an arc where he acted like an ass and realized that it is wrong to degrade women. I just think it could have been built upon and Emma may have had chemistry with this actor. There was something here that I didn’t hate and I felt it could have been expanded upon.

4. Little Hank (Season 2-3)

Debbie’s first real crush! It was interesting to see how he didn’t like her at first and then a “friendship/relationship” slowly started to develop after he gave her flowers. IT JUST NEVER CONTINUED! Little Hank was in no way the most upstanding, but it was cool to see Carl have a friend that Debbie crushed on (when she was little she wasn’t intentionally taking something away from Carl ie. Kelly, so I support it). Their interactions were fun to watch too! The fandom definitely has a soft spot for Little Hank! And at one point everyone was rooting for them to be together. Too bad we never discovered what ended up happening to this character!

3. Neil (Season 7-8)

The bathtub scene tho! Adorable! There was a short moment within this relationship that was super cute where the two of them really did seem to care about each other and may have both been in love. It goes without saying that Debbie was only using him, but they did have SOME potential and they found a common ground where they each benefited each other’s needs. Debbie once again was TOO controlling and self absorbed to make it work, but I don’t think she was entirely happy in a relationship with him. He deserved more respect!

2. Derek (Season 5-8)

Baby Daddy! I really did enjoy them together until Debbie took advance of him and Franny came into the picture, but at the same time that’s one of the reasons that Derek, as a character, has a deeper connection to Debbie and the audience. I always enjoyed their flirting back and forth and the relationship they had (the deleted scene with the card/push up game ahh my heart)! Debbie really did mess up due to her desperation to “belong to a family”, which is another one of her consistent character traits. She just went too far and tried to trap him. Then shit got messed up between their families. Derek did eventually ask for parcial custody and did have a desire to be a part of Franny’s life. Debbie said no and that plot line died until s10. Pepa!! Ahh! RIP to Derek, it was sad to me that he died. Definitely a character and relationship that I wish was incorporated more because I truly enjoyed them together.

1. Duran (Season 8)

Besties with benefits! Stop! Nobody talks about my guy Duran! Sure they both said that this relationship was of a sexual nature and that they were just a couple of friends but damn! The chemistry and dynamic was palpable! It is truly a shame that we didn’t get to see more of this friendship! They were on common ground and really did care about each other! I don’t know why but I really just LOVED them together! Duran was also in her friend group with Farhad and that was a group that seemed to have a positive impact on Debbie as a person. S8 Debbie was cool! These two complemented each other so nicely! Duran wasn’t by any means the best influence on her because he almost lead Debbie down a “Monica path” but come on, Hedi is worse in that department. He was getting his life together like Debbie was with her profession. Just think of the hair convos Duran and Tami could have had Lol. Idk, I just like Debbie with him a lot! It was healthy to an extent and he was supportive of Debs with Franny.

[atlantablack]

Favorite Merlin Fics ft. Imprisonment

a thimble of light for an acre of sky by celaenos 

36,268 | Teen + | no warnings apply 

Golden, beautiful, charming, pompous Arthur, drawing everyone to him like moths to a flame. She thinks of how he is the only other person in the world who understands what it's like to be Uther Pendragon's child, to crave the approval of that looming shadow and want to break free of it in the same breath. She hates him. She hates him. She hates him. 

It’s only part of the truth, even now.

Why I love this fic

This is hands down absolutely one of my favorite season 5 AU’s. The amount of attention that’s paid not only to Morgana and Gwen’s relationship, but also to Morgana and Arthur’s is just fucking amazing. For all that Morgana is technically a prisoner for a large part of the fic it never breaks her, only gives everyone else a chance to get through to her which I truly believe is all they need, a chance. 

I’ve read this fic several times and it never loses its effect, I always feel like i’ve been punched in the gut and I’m always just left in a puddle of my own emotions afterwards. If i had to pick a favorite quote (that hopefully doesn’t give too much away) it would be: 

“I’m going to kill you,” she warns Arthur. “Keeping me here is foolish.”

“Perhaps,” he says, and somehow the teasing smirk of their youth spills out onto his face. “But then again, you’ve always thought that I was.”

“Don’t smile at me,” Morgana snaps. “The only reason I haven’t killed you yet are these shackles, and mark my words, I’ll get them off.”

“Is that?” he asks. “The only reason?”

“Yes,” Morgana snaps, but there’s a horrible inflection to her voice. It comes out far more like a question than a promise.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11931528/chapters/26968359

a king of infinite space by schweet_heart 

1,069 | explicit | no warnings apply

When they bring Arthur home, he is silent.

Why I love this fic: 

The pure amount of detail and emotion that is in this fic is just incredible. it’s only a little over 1k but i’ve read it so many times because I can never get past just how much is in it. Case in point, i just read it again to try and figure out what to say and i’m now in a puddle of my own emotions trying to figure out how something can be both hot and sad and sexy and romantic and ??? just so goddamn good. 

The last line of this fic never fails to blow me the fuck away and sometimes I genuinely just sit and stare at it looking for inspiration. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11992938

Dying to Return by StormDancer 

19,869 | Teen+ | no warnings apply 

When they try to hang him, he floats. 

 * 

They put him on the pyre at dawn. 

He doesn’t burn.

Why I love this fic:

I feel like it’s very likely everyone already knows this fic but if you’re new to the fandom (because i stg we gain new people every day against all odds), then this truly an amazing fic. I really really love the way this author chose to write the way Merlin goes about getting Arthur to accept magic. I’m 100% all for unapologetic Merlin just blazing in and telling arthur about his magic and arguing arthur into accepting it, but I also really love this, not soft really, but patient, solemn, quiet Merlin who’s prepared to wait as long as he needs to and just show Arthur how good magic can be just by existing. 

Also I think it’s so lovely how as the reader, some parts of the plot are so obvious to us but to Arthur they’re impossible to figure out and it’s just done so artfully! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/689934

Emblazoning by astolat 

18,797 | mature | creator chose not to use warnings 

Morgana turned away from the high, barred window and rubbed her arms, chilled and bare. Arthur was sitting in the dirty straw at the very limit of his chains, which kept him a few inches too far away to touch Merlin's limp body. Outside they were putting up the stake.

Why I love this fic:

I know this pairing isn’t very popular since season 3 aired, but honestly it’s so good. These four really are just so tangled up together that I love reading fics where they’re all in a relationship. Also, this is by astolat and everything astolat has written is a fucking gem. 

I really love that this is a season 1 divergence, because it really highlights how far Arthur would have been willing to go even then. He’s never been able to just stand back and watch Merlin die. No matter the season and I just love the way its done in this one. The magic reveal, the way Arthur can never truly stop being a leader, a ruler, the way Morgana’s visions and swordfighting come together to create a whole picture, the way Gwen is always there and steady and being their rock. I just love this piece so damn much. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7155737

Safekeeping by schweet_heart 

5,531 | explicit | no warnings apply 

“There were bandits,” Arthur confirms. There is something grim in his tone which tells Merlin this is not the whole of it. “There was also a sorcerer.” 

 Merlin sighs. “Of course there was.” 

 As it turns out, there was also a magical beast, and there was also a sacrifice.

Why I love this fic:

Merlin’s magic reveal in this one is just truly fantastic. I can’t think of many fics where his magic reveal is so goddamn badass and super powered up and yet, he’s also so helpless and doesn’t even realize that he’s revealed himself. Arthur has to make the choice of what to do with Merlin telling him anything at all, without any outside input. Just Merlin helpless and there at his mercy. 

Also.... the sex is hot as fuck lol but really, I love this fic. I love seeing fics that just explore how excruciating magic suppressing cuffs would be on Merlin. Basically, this fic just hit all my favorite points and i love it!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14008191

The Game of Lying 

7,262 | Gen | no warnings apply

It's just Merlin's luck to get trapped in a castle with the knights and a crazy fae who wants to see how well he can lie. Fortunately, he's very good at lying. 

Unfortunately, the fae isn't too pleased about that. 

The knights are going to have a lot of questions if they live through this.

Why I love this fic:

Badass, snarky, smartass, “i have a thousand talents other than magic” Merlin is 100% my favorite take. Fics where the knights and Arthur have to realize how little they know about Merlin, without a magic reveal. They underestimate him a lot despite dragging him everywhere with them and I feel like this really highlights this. 

Also, again, I loveeeeeee badass Merlin. badass, overpowered, I could probably destroy the world if I wanted to, Merlin. Love him. Beautiful, perfect. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590702

[baebeyza]

Pros and Cons of all the TF shows I watched [updated: Unicron Trilogy and BW Neo]

Update info: Whyever the hell I wrote this and why people care about my opinion is beyond my current understanding, but @chaoticgirl23 asked for the Unicron Trilogy I hadn't watched back then, so- Also decided to write down if I actually like the show or not xD

(also I removed wfc, because I cant really judge after all with the show not being finished) My personal opinions + stuff that can be dubbed controversial and problematic, so beware for racism and sexism! But also beware of my idiotic attempts at humour

G1 (loved the show with all my heart)

Pros:

- The original show

- big cast of loveable characters

- Really awesome human side characters

- Very clever and witty dialogue

- fucking batshit insane

- Rodimus Prime is babe

Cons:

- apart from Arcee, female autobots being treated like a subspecies and only appearing in like one episode (3 if you are generous)

- Motherfucking country called “Carbombya”

- Some human characters are actually shit (those boys from B.O.T)

- Rodimus fucks as a human and not as a robot

- Everything animated by AKOM

- Galvatron’s portrayal as a person with brain-damage reads as ableistic (Personally I still love his G1 version more than the others I’ve seen)

- The “You’re only truly disabled if you lose your courage” line from Chip, it was explained to me that it’s ableistic as well

Headmasters (loved the show)

Pros:

- exciting plot

- characters die, fuck yeah

- Planets get destroyed, fuck yeah

- <3 ~ Power of Friendship ~ <3

- Sixshot is babe

Cons:

- Everything about Cyclonus and Wheelie

- Rodimus fucks off after episode 10 and never comes back

- Arcee going from warrior to secretary

- If you come from IDW I have to break it to you that Chromedome is straight

SuperGod  Masterforce (loved the show with all my heart)

Pros:

- A darker and more serious storyline if you’re into that

- Lots of character arcs and well-written characters in general

- Decepticons having a more family like dynamic

- Decepticons with a level of depth to them

- Redemption much

- Ginrai is babe

Cons:

- This show’s focus is on the humans so if you don’t like human TF characters, this aint for you

- The character Cab has a level of racist stereotyping - he comes from a fictional country in Oceania called Karin and the depiction of that country is everyone living in wood homes and having no electricity. (The show plays in the future so that makes it worse) Cab himself gets introduced as a Tarzan kinda dude who can talk with animals.

While I found Cab himself not bad as a character, the problem with how his background is written sure is stupid and insulting. There isn’t a lot of focus on his country in the show however, but it’s still there

- There is a scene in which the boys Shuta and Cab spy on girls during swim class (they get called out and apologize for it though and the “fanservice” scene itself is really damn modest and tame)

Victory (loved the show)

Pros:

- Similiar fun tone as G1

- lovable cast of idiots

- Exciting episode plots

- Leozack is babe

Cons:

- The only two prominent female characters are love interests and nothing else (which is drop in quality when compared to Masterforce, which had Minerva as a fleshed out autobot with agency and Mega as an interesting female villain)

- Leozack never punches Deszaras in the face

- Fucking retcons the destruction of Mars in Headmasters

Beast Wars (loved with all my heart)

Pros:

- Really compelling story and characters!!!

- Well written dialogue

- Wonderful character animation

- Dinobot is HONOUR and babe. Also I’m crying

- Megatron and his bullshit

Cons:

- Megatron and his bullshit

- That stupid love triangle subplot in season 3

- Some major plotline not being fully developed (the Vok plotline)

Beast Wars II (liked the show)

Pros:

- The Predacons in general

- Lio Convoy (the Optimus of the show) having a son

- Galvatron is babe and so is Starscream

Cons:

- Maximals are lame apart from Lio Convoy and the arc with his son Lio Junior

- A lot of uninteresting characters an episodes

- The Jointrons as racist mexican stereotypes

- Only female robot is part of a love triangle (even more annoying than the love triangle in Beast Wars)

Beast Wars Neo (liked the show)

Pros:

- Big Convoy being a lone wolf turned teacher was a really sweet story to follow <3 How he and his team learnt to trust each other over the course of the show was really nice!

- Unicron in this show was a delight

- D-Navi was always fun

- Magmatron was a rather nice Decepticon leader

- Heinrad is babe

Cons:

- No girls (Boo!)

Beast Machines (very conflicted, tend to dislike)

Pros:

- Plays entirely on Cybertron

- Explores themes of technology and organic life forms and really tries to be something different and deep

- The last episode is really nice

- Jetstorm is babe

Cons:

- No fun allowed - the maximals are really frustrating because we only ever see them being angry and fighting and a lot of them only show us their worst sides

- The maximal character models are HIDEOUS

- You may not actually like the philosophical aspect of the show, especially when you think too long about it and realise it’s kinda shit

Robots in Disguise 2001/ Car Robots (liked the show)

Pros:

- New continuity! New story, new take!

- Funny and lighthearted

- Cute characters

- Sky-Byte/Gel-Shark is babe

- Ultra Magnus/God Magnus is a fucking jerk and I love it 

Cons:

- Sideburn/Speedbreaker’s gag about loving red sport cars and chasing after them - it’s played as a joke all the time but I can see that stuff making people uncomfortable when they see the female driver trying to get away from him and his catcalling (Apart from that I do like him a lot though)

Armada/Micron Densetsu (disliked the show)

Pros:

- Lots of feels between Megatron and Optimus

- Starscream's arc

- The ending arc

- Jetfire was babe

Cons:

- The pacing was unbearable

- Half the time the characters didn't act like people and I was confused about almost every conflict, action and point they made. It's not a great story when I watch episode and need an hour to figure what the hell the story even was

- The parts I liked in concept are not helped by how unnatural and weird the characters acted at times. I liked the ending, but how they got there was so weird that I just can't enjoy it

Energon/Superlink (loved the show)

Pros:

- Megatron/Galvatron - Everything about him

- The japanese voice acting was fantastic!

- Really nice death scenes (I love death scenes btw)

- Mirage/Shockfleet being in love with Megatron

- Bringing back old names apart from Megatron and Optimus

- Rodimus being an equal to Optimus was a nice touch

- The few scenes it was 2D animated

- Jetfire/Skyfire is babe

Cons:

- Animation

- The "for the toys" thing kinda ruined some characters, where instead of getting the toys as completely new characters, they killed old ones and brought them back with a new model. It did suck story-telling wise (and me, loving death scenes, get annoyed when a death scene gets ruined by bringing the character back). So you got all these character arcs that feel like the just stopped

Cybertron/Galaxy Force (loved the show with all my heart)

Pros:

- Love the setting and world with all the different colonies and how they were explored ~

- Optimus Prime, this one is my favourite version of him!

- Vector Prime, they should bring him back

- All the different leaders

- The friendship between the characters- this show has my favourite set of Autobots from all TF media

- This also has my favourite Mega&Star dynamic

- Starscream himself is so well done here!

- Jetfire/Dreadlock was babe

Cons:

- Megatron was lacklustre. When it came to him and his dynamics with other characters (apart from Starscream), he was hardly written as a person with feelings. He never reacts to anything happening within the ranks of Decepticons and it is really disappointing, because there was a lot of potential! (with Flame Convoy and Chromia specifically)

Animated (loved the show)

Pros:

- Character writing, plot and themes!

- Lighthearted tone but enough scenes that dig a little deeper

- Really nice and smooth animation

- Optimus is baby

Cons:

- The chins

- No 4th season

Prime (loved the show)

Pros:

- Best friggin fight scenes and animation in general

- Really exciting plot 

- Ratchet is babe

Cons:

- Predacon Rising exists

- Characters dying for budget reasons (Just don’t hire celebrities when you cannot pay them for more?)

Robots in Disguise 2015 (it's okay)

Pros:

- ...the Stunticons are babe

Cons:

- characters never developing and learning the same shit over and over again

- almost no interesting villains

- even the interesting ones being shoved aside a lot 

- no real built-up for the climax

- lots of filler and not enough time spent on the actual plot of a corrupt Cybertron goverment

Prime Wars Trilogy (loved the show with all my heart)

Pros:

- Megatron, everything about him, he’s babe

- I really like the soundtrack

Cons:

- Bad storytelling, both narrative and visual

- Horrible or mediocre voice acting

- Static and bad facial expressions

- Static and bad character animation

- Feels like no one involved in the production had any idea how to tell a story

Cyberverse (meh)

Pros:

- Really cute as fuck

- Big cast 

- Astrotrain is babe

Cons:

- No time for character arcs, they just jump from set up to conclusion with nothing in-between

- Unfocused plot that jumps from one idea to another

- Megatron broke my heart and I hate him

[whentheynameyoujoy]

Women in SPN—Is it Really That Bad?

TL;DR: Somewhat, yeah, it kinda is.

This is going to be a series of long ones, people.

Before I jump head first into this giant vat of weird toxic shit, let me say something:

The thing about most of the female characters is that on their own? They’re perfectly fine, ranging from serviceable to the occasional flash of thematic brilliance. Barely any of them qualify as “this is hateful on its face and incompetent regardless of context and the writers should feel bad for ever conceiving of it”, i.e. the normie benchmark for justified criticism. It’s only when you put these characters next to each other that a worrying pattern emerges;

Although discussions about sexism in the media were very much a thing in the mid-2000s, as well as shows with characters whose primary role wasn’t to serve a man’s needs, I can’t honestly claim that the flaws of SPN are out of the norm for its time; and

The first few seasons could really do with a PSA at the start of each episode, something along the lines of “A part of the reason why female characters are killed off or written out with such regularity is rabid superfans who couldn’t abide anything with tits brushing against J2, srsly, the writing team and the 2000s’ fan base were a match made in hell, except it wasn’t the writers who couldn’t do with bitching on their LiveJournals about the gall of women to exist in the show, choosing instead to harass the creators and actresses and wives and call them every sexist insult under the sun AND I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE HAS THERE EVER BEEN A CESSPIT AS DISGUSTING AND NUKEWORTHY AS THE SPN FANDO—“

Anyway.

SPN has a legacy (as a posterchild for not knowing when to bow out gracefully, but legacy nonetheless) and isn’t watched in 2005 but in the year of our Lord Today. Meaning that as time goes by, the issues surrounding the show’s production retreat into the background and only what’s on the screen remains, to be judged on its own merits.

So let’s run down a list of the more noteworthy and relevant female characters of the first arc, focusing on their characterization, role in the narrative, and end. In the conclusion to this series of posts, the sum of characters will be analyzed as a whole to see if there are any unique tendencies in the show’s handling of women as opposed to that of men. I’ll do this for the original five seasons as the recent finale went out of its way to say that nothing after season 5 was strictly speaking necessary so why bother.

(Also because I died of frustration in season 8 and vowed not to subject myself to any more of the post-apocalypse fanfic era)

Angels, while strictly speaking genderless clouds of energy, will be classified as men or women depending on the apparent gender of the vessel they spend most of the time riding. The same goes for demons where I also take into account their stated gender while they were alive. That’s because although beings like Meg, Ruby, Anna, or Lilith can’t technically be considered women in the show’s present day, their consistent preference for conventionally attractive and/or female vessels throughout the original arc makes claims of genderlessness essentially meaningless. For all intents and purposes, we’re watching girls and women on screen.

Baby—the only true NB of the first run

All right, time to jump.

Say hi to our ladies!

Mary Winchester

Killed in the very first scene to give the story a reason to exist, she remains an active presence throughout the first arc where she has a wide-reaching influence on the plot and characters, driving the conflict on several levels. Fleshed-out more and more with each appearance to be more than just “the dead mom”, she’s portrayed as protective, pro-active, capable, and assertive, mirroring the duo’s desire for normal life and their inability to have it. Her story comes full-circle in season 5 when the personal tragedy of her fate is embedded in the wider tragedy of the Winchester family curse and the overall theme of destiny.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major

On her own: Textbook example of fridging… and that tropes aren’t bad in and of themselves.

Jessica Moore

Comparatively, if anyone doubts fridging can evolve into something meaningful, Jess drives the point home by having no personality and no point but to prop up her boyfriend before she ends up pinned to the ceiling, the reveal of which is the most interesting thing about her entire existence. At best she’s a symbol of Sam’s civilian life, at worst an obstacle to be removed for the story to happen.

Status: Dead as of s5

Importance: Major in terms of manpain, non-existent otherwise

On her own: A cardboard cut-out, barely qualifies as a character

Missouri Moseley

A psychic and the primary reason why John Winchester even knows to wipe his ass. Appears once over the course of the first arc yet everyone wants her to come back years later—that’s how awesome she is. Has this fantastic trait of being compassionate and empathetic while not taking a single speck of shit from anyone, especially when it comes from the two main dumbos who might just as well have been raised in a barn. Is very particular about the pristine state of her coffee table.

Status: Alive as of s5, killed in s13 (wait, what?)

Importance: Major…ly wasted potential

On her own: As strong a character as Bobby Singer, and as worthy of being elevated to the main cast.

Lori Sorensen

The writers can’t figure out why anyone in the universe would care about Jess either so they insert an intentionally awkward romance subplot to convince people the time’s not yet ripe for Sam to stop grieving and start slaying. The result’s… erm… well, awkward. Lori’s naïve, sheltered, devout though accepting of her non-repressed friend, and sort of on a religious crossroads because of her hypocritical preacher father. I guess the virginal power of her virginal virginity does… something in the plot? Primarily a vehicle for Sam to mark the stages of his moving on.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: A bit done. Like a bit lot. Like a “could be a trope namer” bit lot.

Meg

Boom, baby!

Arguably the chief antagonist of season 1 and one of the best things about it. The first one to point out the pervasive toxicity of the Winchester family business, so props for perceptiveness. Possesses the standard qualities of a lower-level henchman—manipulative, no-nonsense, and quietly sinister which, while not exactly groundbreaking, sets her apart from the other bad guys in the season as they tend to have no distinguishing characteristics at all. Plus Nicki Aycox makes the role seem more unique and “lived-in” by projecting a sense of understated amusement at the two main chucklefucks. Is one of S1’s turning points in blurring the lines between monsters and humanity. Has a face transplant twice—once to have revenge (good on her) and the other time to pursue someone else’s goals again before getting stomped into the ground like a mook.

Status: Alive as of s5 (?), killed in s8

Importance: Major

On her own: The actresses do most of the heavy lifting. Which doesn’t mean I don’t love watching the character burst onto the scene and announcing the end of the Winchester brand of bullshit.

Layla Rourke

A terminal cancer patient in a religious cult, she’s a more mature take on a Lori-type character and the themes of faith and doubt. Serves as a conduit for Dean’s budding survivor guilt, self-loathing, and sense of worthlessness. Is kind and cheerful, with strong hints that she’s relying on forced optimism to get through the days; also understanding of the circumstances of others while realistically freaked about the possibility of death. Weirdly, she enters the episode already in a state of acceptance and leaves it just as accepting when it’s confirmed that yeah, she’ll die soon. All expressions of anger at the injustice and senselessness are left to her mother which somewhat undermines the “struggling” portion of Layla’s character and renders the final scene where she makes peace with her fate a bit hollow.

Status: Implied dead

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Dean’s development

On her own: I want to like her, I really do, just… if only she were allowed to get pissed, once.

Cassie Robinson

Dean’s ex and that’s pretty much all there is to her. I struggle to pinpoint a single personality trait of hers—the 2000s idea of a “strong woman” and “not like other girls”, perhaps? Undermined as a love interest because TPTB don’t show the happy or any parts of her relationship with Dean so really, why should anyone care if two sniping assholes with little to no chemistry get back together? Memorable for being in a horribly scored softcore scene which YouTube tries to convince me lasts for shy over a minute, not the week I remember it to. Involved in the show’s first and last attempt at incorporating the issue of anti-black racism.

Status: Alive as of s5

Importance: Minor

On her own: She’s in the racist truck episode. ‘Nuff said.

Sarah Blake

A sophisticated people-person conversationalist with a love of high art and a deep sense of introspection. Ascends to the state of godhood by being able to pull off pigtails while adult. Bonds with Sam over responding to loss by crawling into a shell but deciding to move on. Doesn’t care for your fancy schmancy fine dining, Romeo. Isn’t ashamed to openly talk feelings which includes her explicitly asking Sam if they have a thing going on (honestly, this is such a breath of fresh air for a normcore romance). Despite being scared out of her wits, she refuses to be shoved into the helpless civilian box after learning about the existence of the supernatural; Dean creates a Pinterest wedding board in response.

Status: Alive as of s5, pointlessly dragged back to be murdered in s8

Importance: Minor in the overall narrative, major in the episode and Sam’s development

On her own: A great love interest that has enough writing behind her to fool you into thinking she’s something more.

Up next, whenever I feel like it, seasons 2 and 3!

[nmoroder]

L4D(2) Actor AU

This is a (not complete) list of headcanons for the Actor AU me and my bro came up with during our Expert runs and running extremely low on morale. We created this as a sort of ‘happy’ AU which would also give some room to our own ideas, so some of this stuff below may only slightly be related to original. We understand.

This post won’t be updated but instead followed by other ones if something else arises, so check ‘l4d actor au’ tag on my blog for more!

Overall setting

The Left 4 Dead universe itself is a series of 90-min movies divided into first and second season, L4D1 and L4D2 respectively. This list will further refer to them as S1 and S2;

L4D is a series about, of course, zombie apocalypse, but teamwork and forming bonds between people are brought to spotlight. Both seasons consist of episodes where four Survivors try to find a solid ground and safety with every episode ending on a cheerful note but every next one starting with the cheerfulness destroyed. The episodes share their names and events with Campaigns;

Originally, L4D was created by a team of enthusiasts, consisting of friends, families and family friends, so they are all very immersed in process and really giving their best. Their collective is also the reason their funding isn’t very high and they’re mostly using their own equipment and props; this makes the series look less expensive and polished but retains the atmosphere and the main goal: to show people growing warmer to each other and learning to stick together;

The actors’ names are mostly created by combining the face model’s first name and the voice actor’s last name, though some other versions do take place (see S1 and S2);

The safehouse graffitis are inspired by the fans’ responses from forums and contests, so it’s some sort of communicating with audience through screenplay;

The Third Strike, more commonly known as Black and White Mode which occures after second incapacitation, was firstly discovered as a camera malfunction but then the team liked it so much that they decided to leave it as a feature and add the heartbeat effect and stuff;

Main plot line consists solely of canon Campaigns (that means it doesn’t include Last Stand and Cold Stream) but there were also suggestions to shot additional episodes - the Mutations. After S1 success, the authors posted their ideas on different ‘modes’ and fans added theirs as well and thus during S2 some more episodes were made using, for example, a male synchronized swimming team to create the Hunting Party mutation. The original Hunter actor also participated and the swimmers required to copy his behavior; they did it so well that sometimes the whole Survivor team was being overwhelmed once they began the take;

There are no stuntmen on board so every fighting scene is shot with original actors. When it requires to shove someone off with a weapon (e.g. Zoey shoving a Hunter off Louis in the L4D1 intro), after the take actors always ask each other whether they hit too hard, should they improve the movements etc. Different actors have different range so it’s a tricky thing to cooperate but they still manage (I’ll come back to this topic in L4D2 section);

Most Infected, especially Special Infected encounters are improvised, bringing more life and realism to the Survivors’ response. The Hunter is responsible for a fair share of their shock as they noticed him stuck at a saferoom ceiling only after a while (this is a reference to the glitches that allow the Hunter to get stuck under the roof in Versus);

There was a suggestion to run a Kickstarter campaign to gather money for a fanservice episode especially for shippers. While it was most likely a joke from actors who didn’t mind shipping, it’s still a suggestion and not in work.

L4D (Season 1)

Zoey shares the zombie movie obsession with her actress; Sonja was the most familiar with the topic among original team and provided a lot of help with setting up the scene, behaviour writing etc. Along with Louis and Boomer actors, she was the creator of original idea and can consider herself a founder of the series. She is also older than Zoey as a character, being already in her 25s while Zoey is a college student;

The original Boomer actor was a CGI specialist and offered his skills for post-processing while also playing an Infected role. He came up with the idea of a Boomer Infected himself and suggested his large physique to do the role with a little touch of computer graphics and makeup;

While discussing the major characters and personalities worth including, Zoey’s actress instantly remembered her neighbor, the big buffy tattooed guy who was her childhood friend, worked as a driver and spent his weekends with his favorite bike. She figured that it’s a nice image to have in a zombie apocalypse setting, and thus Francis’ actor made it to the set;

When it came to the image of a war veteran refusing to give in to monsters, Zoey’s actress was also the one to suggest another person to fill up the space: her father. He was younger than Bill was written to be but did the impersonating well. He’s got an overall friendly but bickering attitude towards Francis’ actor so most of lines written for Bill and Francis interaction were the ones actors remembered from their own conversations, slightly exaggerated;

Zoey’s actress and Louis’ actor were co-workers for several years and bonded over their mutual interest to zombie theme and shooting. She foud out that Sean attended a shooting range in his spare time and asked him to take her out too; thus she both found out he aces in ambidextrous shooting and got him to teach her how to wield a hunting rifle. The weapon preferences were carried over to respective characters;

Hunter’s actor became a surprise for the team as Francis’ actor brought him over saying that the guy’s got a fantastic voice (and a music band) and physique to make some badass new Infected for them. They got him to voice the crowd extras of common Infected but also came up with an idea of shrieking hooded parkour bastard to rip someone’s guts out, thus creating the Hunter as another Special Infected;

As the next Special Infected concept came out of the shadows - a lanky coughing tongue-twisting zombie who would grab the Survivors and restrict them, Hunter’s actor brought another person to the set. It was his music band co-participant who did drums and back vocals and also had an ability to eject the most horrible coughing sound out of his throat while being (seemingly) healthy. He took over the role of a Smoker;

Hunter’s actor is named Mike after Mike Patton, the voice actor for Infected and SI like Hunter and Smoker. Smoker’s actor is named Mike too but the fact that he plays drums and does back vocals is actually a reference to Faith No More, the band where Patton actually does vocals and Mike Bordin does what Smoker’s actor does. It sounds complicated but originally the idea of Hunter and Smoker actors sharing a name came from Patton voicing them both, and then I found out about the band and two Mikes present so... that was a weird but happy coincidence;

The fact stated above was the reason the team came up with nicknames just for two Mikes on the set - Hoodie and Tongue respectively. The tradition was carried over to S2 where the new Hunter actor would receive a patronizing nickname Kid from Survivors (see S2)

Of all Infected actors, Hunter’s actor was the least level-headed and even Francis’ actor sometimes doubted his past decision to bring him in. Nevertheless, Hoodie’s cheerful attitude and energy helped the collective stay positive and fuelled during especially hard days. It also brought out the less lethargic and melancholic part of Tongue and made him more lively about things;

Despite Hoodie being the Endless Energy Core which people tended to adore, he was still in a lousy relationship with Witch’s actress (her name, by the way, is different from the voice actress - it’s Rose). He kept a charmer’s attitude towards her even though she was a married woman; Rose tended to be neutral or mostly positive towards most colleagues but this behavior pissed her off big time, leading to Hoodie being injured by her stage costume claws after she punched him in the face for a really bad dating joke. Hoodie toned it down afterwards but their relationship didn’t improve much up until the end;

Witch’s actress is keen on baking and sometimes brings some to the filming set;

Since the budget was comparatively low, the team couldn’t afford a lot of crowd extras so they hired a group of people to then create an image of a Horde attacking by using CGI. That’s why there’s so much repeating common Infected on-screen;

The first season included all L4D1 original Campaigns, leaving The Sacrifice out as it was added later in a DLC. As S2 came into development stage, the team wanted to add an episode with the old Survivors team but Bill’s actor was unavailable at the time and was overall not hot with the idea of shooting movies anymore; so eventually they plotted the episode (The Passing campaign) to feature Bill being dead. The fans were shocked to find it out and demanded to know what exactly happened, thus leading to actually shooting The Sacrifice as a bonus episode to S1 (and requiring Bill’s actor to come back despite his attitude).

L4D2 (Season 2)

The collective decided to take a sharp turn on the new Survivors and create them being unacquainted and sort of separated at the start but growing closer as time passes by. The idea of S1 Survivors being almost a family to each other sounded great and played along just right but the team wanted to delve deeper into relationship problems and also have a change of scenery - and so they did;

The Infected team for S2 still consisted of some old faces (Boomer, Tank and Witch) but some had to leave the set for the time being and were unable to rehearse the roles, this being Hunter and Smoker actors. They got into music harder than zombie movies and planned to go on a tour so they could only leave their old Infected sounds as a legacy;

The new Smoker actor was a treasure Coach’s actor brought to the set. Since Coach was in fact a college coach, he kept a close eye on some problematic students under his wing and picked out the one he’d considered perfect and at the same time worth looking after. The guy was recovering from compulsory drug treatment and had some ugly scars all over his arms, making him an easier candidate for makeup;

Hoodie, on his part, brought a replacement on his own, and it was his brother - four years younger, even more insanely into parkour and a huge fan of L4D series, he made a perfect new Hunter. Despite being only a few years younger than Hoodie, he instantly became treated like a restless constant-questioner child, a literal piece of sunshine on the set, so the team came to call him just Kid. He adjusted to the nickname after a couple of weeks, though being seriously surprised at it at the start;

The actors of Ellis, Jockey and Charger all come from one family, being two sons and a father. Coach suggested the family as well, being their close friend for many years and pointing out Ellis’ actor appearance being something close to the laid-back mechanic they wanted for the new Survivors team;

Although fluently speaking in a Southern accent, Ellis’ actor isn’t very fond of it as he tried to get rid of it and move to a different state; the role obliged him to use the accent again though and it wasn’t hard to recreate, but he still didn’t take pride in it and was mostly annoyed with it and Nick’s jokes written in script;

Ellis’ actor is also the one more frequently complaining about amount of money the actors receive for their work on set. Their funding increased a bit since S1′s popularity strike but still;

Most of Ellis’ stories were written based on actual on-set incidents, usually featuring Nick’s actor (see below);

Nick’s actor, Taymour, is married to Witch’s actress and is a big fan of her performance in S1. When she heard the idea of having a snarky self-centered ladies’ man in the new Survivors team, she immediately knew who’d handle the role at his best. She also rehearsed the role of Witch just to make sure nothing bad happens to her husband on-set (also see below);

Nick’s actor suffers from constant bad luck incidents. He can accidentally break or twist something without serious effort; he’s also allergic to artificial blood and he is the reason the filming set actually features painkillers and functioning adrenaline shots. Despite all that, he’s got a positive attitude about bad luck and got used to being in a state of constant non-obvious danger, unlike others who geniunely worry about his well-being and fear that one day an accidental injury might end him once and for all;

This trait is also the reason Nick’s line “Can’t you see I’m limping here?” made it into the script - it was improvised after Nick’s actor badly hit his leg and was the last to make it to a saferoom during a take. The team liked it and decided to leave it in;

Nick’s actor treats his role with all respect and doesn’t consider it a small one despite the not so large fee. He’s also a complete opposite to the character, being a very friendly and kind-hearted guy to everyone on set; he can however switch back to his script personality with startling speed and it scared some of the new actors at first. Despite playing an asshole which is very different from real him, Nick’s actor enjoys it a lot and overall finds great joy in working with the team and bringing them together;

Bringing back the topic of being gentle to each other, Nick’s actor takes great care when it’s required to hit or shove someone in the take, keeping it mildest possible, unlike for example Ellis’ actor who can smash you in the face without a second thought;

Nick’s actor and Witch’s actress keep their loving attitude on set as well, sometimes making it hard to shoot scenes featuring a Witch killing; as they were shooting the Witch Bride scene where the same actress took place but had a different outfit and makeup, they ruined several takes by driving the dialogue in unwanted directions, e.g. “Ellis, go kiss the bride! No wait, I’ll do that myself” or “N: Sounds like my ex-wife... W: I still AM your wife, darling! >:C”;

With her husband on stage, Witch’s actress is probably closest to her role - she will tear apart anyone who dares to hit on Nick’s actor or mean any harm to him (as if his own harming isn’t enough...). The only one she’d go loose is Ellis’ actor, being an old close friend;

Ellis’ actor was the one who introduced Nick’s actor to his future wife. They’ve actually been close friends since the university and Ellis’ actor was among those who obviously saw Nick’s actor and Rose being in love but completely oblivious to it. Ellis’ actor is still kinda jealous that she took his best friend away and they can’t hang out anymore like they used to, but they get quite a lot of time on set so he’s less irritated about that;

Nick’s actor is especially supportive towards Rochelle’s actress, Shanola. She feels self-conscious because of her character’s rating being lower than expected and blames it on her performance, but Taymour keeps reassuring her that she’s doing amazing. Rochelle’s actress is also the one least accustomed to shooting a weapon and handling violence of any kind so it was hard for her to get her head into action. With the team fully supporting her, the progress sped up tremendously;

Ellis’ actor’s name is Jesy and he gets salty about people misspelling it or mistaking it for a female name. It was the inspiration to include the “El kinda sounds like a girl’s name” part of Ellis’ dialogue;

The team is overall friendly towards shipping dynamics in the series’ fandom, with the only one explicitly stating otherwise being Ellis’ actor. He’s espeicially upset with Nellis ship as people started shipping actors over it too; he stated multiple times that he and Nick’s actor have been best friends for so long that it’s simply wrong to imply any romantic and/or sexual relationship between them. He once stated in an interview that he’d rather believe an Ellis/Hunter ship and the fandom exploded with it on the next day, much to the actor’s chagrin. The Hunter’s actor, or Kid, however, wasn’t that upset and supported the idea. The team made no confirmation to any ships yet;

Nick’s actor is neutral to most ships including Nellis and doesn’t see why his friend is so angry about it. His personal favorites are Nick/Witch for obvious reasons and Nick/Hunter for less obvious reasons that he doesn’t state. He jokingly suggests Jesy from time to time to start a Kickstarter campaign for a Nellis-centered episode; it’s still unknown whether they’ll take it serious one day.

[solar-pxwered]

Reparations

                                - a Jin x Zuko story written by Panja Mysy

☆ ☆  AO3  ☆ ☆

❀ ❀  Tip Your Waitress  ❀ ❀

Story below the cut to keep people’s dashboards clean and cut, of course! Enjoy!

   There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

   At least, that's what the Dai Li had been pushing on the people for decades, and after so long hearing the same sentiment, being told to stay quiet, and citizens disappearing when they tried to tell anyone otherwise...well, the people of the city had begun to believe it. If you lived your life, did your job, kept your head down, and just fell in line then you were left alone. So it was that decades down the line, not even the actual Earth King had known the war was truly happening let alone the common people.

   This was why when the Fire Nation and Dai Li brought down the great walls no one was prepared to stand their ground against the occupancy. The lower ring citizens weren't trained in any weapon use other than muggers and their cheap knives or the occassional sword passed down through a family from their original arrival as refugees. The citizens weren't soldiers; a simple girl whose family ran a wool stall in the market least of all.

   Jin had never felt more afraid than when she witnessed the komodo rhinos stomping down the streets, packing the solid dirt even more firmly than the millions of feet before them. Fire Nation soldiers rode on their great backs and warned citizens to get indoors lest they face the consequences. Jin had taken refuge in the tea shop she frequented, a horrible realization sinking into her chest.

   "So it's true," a patron of the shop was whispering quietly behind her, out loud but to himself. "I've always heard rumors about the Fire Nation but no one could ever prove it. We really have been at war this whole time then?"

   "It would seem so." Mr. Pao confirmed in a grim tone. "Rumor also has it that the Earth King has just...disappeared and is nowhere to be found."

   "Dead most likely." One of the city guards muttered, his hand at his hip was shaking as if he was debating running out there to clash swords with the invaders. Jin seriously hoped he didn't; this was no time for a show of bravado.

   "What do we do?" Her voice sounded so small, choked in her fear as she clutched the neckline of her robes and worried the material there.

   "What can we do?" the guard responded with a defeated sigh. "We wait. We keep our heads down, and we survive."

   That had been two years ago now.

   "Jin, dear, can you cut me off a yard of the undyed wool please?" 

   Her mother's voice broke the girl from her memory and she shook her head to clear it as she grabbed the shears from the table. "One yard of undyed, coming right up."

   Life went on. Ba Sing Se had continued to thrive even under the rule of the Fire Nation because the rules still remained the same: live your life, do your job, keep your head down, fall in line. Jin's family had continued their business and opened the wool stall the very next day and ,even though they had no business at all, it had spurred the other members of the marketplace to follow suit. Soon the market was a bustling, busy place once again as they all adjusted to the new normal. 

   There were those who spoke of grand schemes to overthrow their new government, whispered plots over pints of cheap ale and tobacco smoke in the seedy taverns of the Lower Ring, but the few who tried to rise up were very quickly and very publically stomped back down. Jin was well familiar with the scent of burning flesh and hair after only a few days of the occupation. Over time things had settled down and even the more raucous of rebellion groups had been crushed in the months that followed the first march into the city. 

   Thankfully, the months of occupation were few; a mysterious group of people had reclaimed the city, or at least that was the story. All who were present to see it told tales of firebenders using the comet to destroy the Fire Nation defense, of waves flowing in the streets which washed down the lines of soldiers, Earthbending being used to crush tanks and topple statues, and even tales of epic sword fighting. If the stories were to be believed then it would mean their liberators were representative of all the nations combined...and Jin was happy to believe that.

   Whatever the case, the city was free again and King Kuei had returned from his long absence and tales from the world began to trickle into the streets; each one was more fantastic than the next! The Avatar, the last of the Air Nomads, had defeated the Fire Lord in combat. Kyoshi Island's famous warriors had represented the Earth Kingdom with unmatched ferocity. Three children had taken out the entire Fire Nation air fleet. The Dragon of the West himself had freed Ba Sing Se. There had been a siege on the Fire Nation during the eclipse.

   Today a new bit of news was making the rounds.

   "Have you heard?" the woman buying the undyed wool was asking her mother in a conspiratorial way, "They say the new Fire Lord is on his way to the city and should be arriving in only a few days. Apparently the King invited him personally to discuss trade agreements and reparations."

   "I should think so," Jin's mother, Yon, replied easily as she wrapped the wool in paper and tied it with twine to complete the package. "The Fire Nation owes the world far more than empty promises. If he's as eager to change the world as they say then what better place to start than here?"

   "Ah, but they say this isn't his first expedition at all! I heard the Earth Kingdom colonies were the first places he went and that there were uprisings and that he came to stomp them out! Apparently he and the Avatar got into a heated disagreement and they almost came to blows."

   Yon's lips pursed unhappily and she shook her head in disappointment.

   "He sounds like more of the same. It's almost like those people are born without any empathy."

   Jin bit her lip, turning her back on the gossip as she put the remaining wool back in it's container. Her mother's statement brought back up those stupid feelings she had been trying to quell for years now; feelings related to a certain Firebender who she knew was nothing like the evil Princess who had conquered the city from within. A shy boy with a scar on his face who served tea and lived in peace among them.

   She was no fool. He had all but blurted out the truth when he had lit those lanterns at the fountain that night. She could still see the nervousness and heard the awkwardness in his tone if she closed her eyes and focused on the memory of that strange date with the strange young man. She could still smell the heat frome the quickly summoned flames in the air. He had firebent those lights into being and he wasn't fooling anyone with his "don't peek" attempt. She hadn't peeked, of course, but she hadn't needed to.

   Lee had been a Firebender, and Lee was nothing like the rest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------    Night fell dark and heavy on the Lower Ring, the shop keepers counting up their earnings for the day and many of them were dispersing to the newly opened public houses and seedy pubs to spend any excess they might have. Drunks and vagrants and beggers lined the dirt streets under the glowing lamplight, spending and making money both, feeding habits and trying to make it in the simple hell of poverty.

   Jin didn't stand out physically, dressed in simple browns and light greens, but her green eyes help far more light than most of the inhabitants of this area of the city. She held her head high as she walked, her steps light and sure. The wooden sign of her favorite establishment called to her and she smiled at the familiar creak of the door as she opened it, the light, smells and sounds from inside pouring into the street as she did so.

   "Jin! Over here, I saved you a spot!" a voice called and Jin searched the crowd for the source of the voice. She found the object of her search and smiled, waving to convey she had heard the message.

   "Hao, is it just you tonight?" Jin greeted her friend as she sat in the empty chair next to him at the four person table.

   Hao smiled and shook his head, his black hair falling into his almond shaped eyes and he pointed vaguely at the area of the tavern often used for dances when there were musicians who chose to play. Tonight was a sort of special occasion, the end of Summer and the recognition of the seasons changing to Fall, and it was displayed nicely in the gold and orange and red colors of the banners strung between the high, slightly warped wooden beams of the establishment.

   "Nari and Akemi are over there, probably trying to catch the attention of that fiddler." 

   Jin found the two girls with no problem, the two of them linked arm in arm as they skipped in a circle in time to the music, a simple dance usually done with several other people so you could switch partners on each pass, but it was clear that they were having enough fun without anyone else on the dance floor. Nari's chestnut brown curls bounced with every skip and she had her head tossed back in laughter, Akemi was always much more calm and collected so the only hint of enjoyment on her face was a simple smile.

   "Ah, yes, of course. When Nari's on the hunt, men and women beware." Jin laughed lightly, "So how was work today?"

   Hao tipped his mug back and took a large swig of the ale Jin knew was inside before he let out with a heavy sigh.

   "It wasn't the best," he admitted in a bitter tone of voice, swirling the contents of his cup around as he looked inside the pint. "I guess people just aren't in the mood for candles even though the days are getting shorter."

   "Hey, cheer up, Hao," Jin reassured him, "With the long, warm days coming to and end people will be needing what we've got to offer more and more every day. You'll make up for the slow summer, don't worry."

   "Yeah, yeah, I know," Hao rolled his eyes good naturedly and nudged Jin's side with his elbow, "Hey, you never know, maybe I'll marry into money."

   "Keep dreaming, Waxy!" Nari's always overly loud voice cut into the conversation as she plopped heavily into the seat across from their male companion. He gave her a rather unamused sort of sneer and she responded by sticking her tongue out, arms crossed over her chest.

   "No luck with the fiddler, I'm assuming?" Hao shot back and it was clear by the way Nari rolled her eyes that he was correct.

   "Hey, his loss!" Nari countered easily as if having her advances rejected was nothing. She seemed almost bored as she called out to the waiter as he passed. "Hey, can we get three pints over here?"

    "Oh, none for me," Jin said quickly but Nari ignored her.

    "Hi, Jin!" Akemi said softly as she took the last remaining seat at the table. She was far too prim and proper for such a place as this but for all her manners and quiet personality, Akemi has never once felt like she didn't belong in their rag tag group of friends. She didn't have the unkempt curls of Nari or the typical Earth Kingdom green eyes like Jin or the almond eyes like Hao; she was pale, blonde and blue eyed, a very uncommon mix of traits in one person in this part of the world. 

   "Akemi, you're someone who might actually appreciate a little bit of cultural news, unlike these two troglodytes." Jin had been eager to share her news with someone of equally open mindedness as she, Hao and Nari just weren't as interested in anything beyond the walls of Ba Sing Se. "I heard rumors today that the new Fire Lord is coming to visit King Kuei in a few days."

   "Oh my!" Akemi leaned forward, her blue eyes flashing with interest, "Did anyone know the purpose of the visit?"

   "Not that I've heard," Jin admitted, nodding to the waiter as he set her pint in front of her. "But I imagine it has to do with trade deals and reparations and the like. Politics, of course, he's way too busy to be coming here for a vacation."

   "Well, it's about damn time he showed his stupid face here," Nari grumped as she tucked into her pint with almost barbaric fervor.

   "How do you know his face is stupid?" Akemi asked innocently, "Maybe he's incredible handsome and smart to boot!"

   "Please," Nari rolled her eyes, "He's Fire Nation."

   "Have you SEEN Fire Nation people?" Hao asked, incredulously. "I mean, not trying to be funny, but they're HOT!"

   Jin and Akemi laughed and even Nari cracked a smile inside her pint glass so no one would notice.

   "Yeah, yeah, ok," she admitted, "But isn't he old as hell?"

   "The Fire Lord?" Jin raised an eyebrow, "Have you been living under a rock, Nari? The new Fire Lord is only nineteen, the youngest in a very long time."

   "Huh," Nari seemed thoughtful at that bit of knowledge, "Hey, maybe I'll be the one to marry into money instead of Hao."

   "Dream on," Hao echoed her earlier insult with a grin that earned him a chunck of hard bread in his face. Akemi didn't even seem upset at the loss of her bread as she laughed along with the other girls. "Real mature Nari. You know I should really-"

   "Oh, would you two just kiss already?" Jin interjected.

   That brought a profound silence to the table and they all finally focused on their drinks and the cheery atmosphere of celebration in the room. After a few more drinks, everyone forgot about the Fire Lord, their jobs, the failed attempt at wooing the fiddler and even Nari was laughing out loud by the time the four of them stumbled into the street. 

   "See you guys tomorrow night?" Akemi, the only sober one, asked as she held Nari upright.

   "I've got no plans," Hao confirmed.

   "Be here with bells on," Jin added, a hiccup escaping at the last word and making her giggle.

   Nari and Akemi headed East as Hao and Jin headed West towards their homes, arms draped over eachothers' shoulders as they walked without a care in the world as the alcohol worked it's magic. 

   Just another workday ending in the Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se.

[ryqoshay]

Tri-Arame: Happy Nyan Day

Primary Pairing Trio: YuuAyuSetsu Secondary Groupings: AiRina, ShizuKasu, EmmaKariKana Words: ~2.6k Rating: G Time Frame: Sometime during the 2nd trimester of their 2nd year? Later? Story Arc: Stand Alone

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Author’s Note: I couldn’t help myself. The song is too cute. And I may have hit triple digits at some point for plays...

----------

“Alright, next order of business,” Setsuna said from her position by the whiteboard “Yuu-san has written several songs for our new subgroups, so we need to decide who gets each one.” She seemed to be barely able to contain her excitement, but must have been tapping deep into Nana to keep up a professional appearance as she and Kasumi lead the meeting.

Subgroups… Ayumu couldn’t quite get used to the term. The Nijigasaki School Idol Club was a group of solo idols; rivals but friends, as they had come to call themselves. Only since their joint performance at the School Idol Festival had they started doing more things as a group. Then Setsuna and Kasumi insisted that they form subgroups, as it was apparently a popular thing with idol groups. But they still were not technically a group…

Then again, she seemed to be the only one who had an issue with the concept. Everyone else had been excited so Ayumu had decided not to voice her dissent.

After much discussion, as well as calling in votes from their fellow students, the subgroups were assigned and Ayumu ended up in one with Setsuna and Shizuku. And for some reason, they had been assigned a couple of peppy, almost embarrassingly happy songs to start, ones that didn’t really match any of their styles as individual idols.

Of course, Setsuna had been thrilled to use it all as an excuse to explore a facet of school idols not normally in her repertoire. Shizuku had decided it would be a way to expand her acting skills. And Ayumu found herself just going along with them. However, she couldn’t deny that she was having fun. A lot of fun, actually.

Ayumu was distracted from her thoughts as a stack of music sheets was passed to her from Shizuku sitting beside her. She flipped through the pages and started skimming to get an idea of what Yuu had written for them.

“Ne, Karin-chan.” Emma said from across the table as she pointed to something on one of the sheets in her hand.

Next to her, Karin leaned over a little to get a better view before nodding approval. She then held up a page and motioned to Ai who was in her usual spot on the couch next to Rina. Ai found the indicated sheet in her own stack and also nodded. Seemed like DiverDiva may have figured out which song they wanted to claim.

“Yuu-san.” Setsuna suddenly uttered.

“Mm?” The twin-tailed girl next to Ayumu responded.

“Is this one based on that anime we started watching?”

Yuu chuckled. “I figured you’d be the one to notice that first.”

Oh, Ayumu knew that expression. Mt. Yuki was about to erupt in explosive excitement.

“That’s amazing!” Setsuna exclaimed. “It works so well! It could be the opening sequence for the second season, easily!”

“A song based on an anime?” Kasumi questioned. “What’s it about?”

“Ohmygoditssogood!” Setsuna gushed as she grabbed the younger girl’s hands before launching into a rapid fire, overly detailed description.

Ayumu empathized a little with the expression Kasumi displayed. She looked like she just had a chalkboard eraser dropped on her head, despite by all rights knowing of the trap’s existence based on prior experience. However, over the last few months, Ayumu had come to find Setsuna’s passion for anime, even her soft spot for certain cliches, to be rather endearing. As such, she just smiled as she watched her fellow second-year geek out.

“Andtheyallcompeteforthemastersaffectionandthereisanadventurousbutclumsyoneandatsundereoneandaseriousoneandatimidoneshesthecutestbyfarshessopureandsheliterallyisascaredycat” Setsuna’s verbal torrent continued “Honestlytheyreallcutecatgirlsingeneralaresocute!”

Wait. Catgirls? That’s the series that had inspired Yuu to write a song? The one where the protagonist rescues a bunch of cats that end up magically transforming into girls? That horribly written harem, chock full of overused tropes, fanservice and plot holes? What the heck was Yuu thinking?

Sure, the protagonist was pretty cute with her twin tailed hairstyle, and she was a heck of a saint for putting up with the antics of all the catgirls living with her. But that wasn’t enough to make up for all of the other shortcomings of the series as far as Ayumu was concerned. So why that one? Why was that the series that inspired a song?

“Hmm…” Kanata hummed from the other side of the table. “Seems like A・ZU・NA has their song decided.”

Oh gods, no…

“I have no objections.” Shizuku spoke up. “The song does seem to fit well with the others we’ve already performed. However, given the primary subject, are we to then act as cats?”

Shizuku-chan, not you as well…

“Or course!” Setsuna proclaimed, releasing Kasumi as her attention shifted.

How embarrassing…

“Hrm…” Shizuku pondered. “I may have to practice that.”

“Well to help with that,” Setsuna began speed walking toward the club’s storage lockers “we should get some cat ears!”

“We have cat ears?” Ayumu asked aloud before realizing she had done so.

“Of course!” Kasumi was the one to chime in this time. “Every school idol should wear cat ears at some point. Setsuna-senpai is right that catgirls are cute. The fans love that kind of thing and they make someone like me even cuter!”

“Rinari and Ai-san have already dressed as cats for that one animal themed photoshoot we had.” Ai reminded.

Oh, that’s right. Ayumu had ended up being a rabbit and had to endure Yuu’s teasing the entire time.

“We still have the ears you two wore.” Setsuna’s voice came from within the open locker. “And here are the rest.” She stepped back, revealing a box filled with various costume accessories.

“Setsuna-chan’s already getting into it.” Yuu chuckled.

Sure enough, the raven-haired girl was already wearing a grey set of cat ears with darker grey stripes and red inner lining. With an ear-to-ear smile, she practically skipped back to the table to set down the box.

Shizuku leaned in to inspect the selection. “How about this one?” She retrieved a set with a calico pattern.

“Those suit you well, Shizuku-san.” Setsuna approved. “Now for you, Ayumu-san.”

“Eh, me too?” Ayumu startled.

“Yes.” Setsuna nodded before turning her attention to the box. “Let’s see…”

“How about this one?” Yuu reached out and grabbed a pair of pink cat ears.

“Yuu-chan, wai…” Before Ayumu could finish, Yuu had already slipped the headband on her.

“Perfect.” Yuu declared. “And they’re at least as cute as the bunny ears, though I may still like Ayu-pyon a bit more than Ayumyan.”

Ayumyan…? Heat gathered in Ayumu’s cheeks.

“So, now that we’re all wearing cat ears, what else should we do?” Shizuku inquired.

“We act like cats.” Setsuna stated decisively.

“Yes, but how?”

“We act like they do in the anime. Hrm… Perhaps like this!” She dropped to her knees next to Yuu. “Goshujinsamya!” She cried, curling her fingers and hands to mimic paws and placing them on Yuu’s legs. She looked up excitedly as though she was about to jump into the other girl’s lap.

“Wha? You’re making me the master, Setsunyan?” Yuu laughed.

“Well you do look a little like the protagonist.”

“I do? Hrm… maybe.” Yuu shrugged before reaching down to pat Setsuna’s head.

Ayumu felt a sharp pang of the all too familiar jealousy she had been working hard to get past. But seriously, she knew Setsuna was capable of being embarrassed. How was she able to just shut off her shame like that and behave in just the right way to make Ayumu feel like this?

Movement by the whiteboard caught Ayumu’s eye. Oh no, Kasumi was walking toward them. Ayumu followed the first-year’s gaze down to Yuu’s free hand. Ayumu was significantly closer, but if she didn’t make her move now, Kasumi would beat her to it.

But everyone else was here. Watching.

Setsuna let out a sound that could pass as a cat’s mewl, closed her eyes and pushed up into Yuu’s hand.

Geez…

“G… Go… Goshujinsamya…” She squeaked out, sliding off her seat to mirror Setsuna.

“Dwaaa…” Yuu cooed. “Don’t worry Ayumyan, I won’t forget about you.” She patted Ayumu’s head as well.

Ayumu had to suppress making a sound like Setsuna had a moment ago, though she now understood the cause.

“Sen~pai~” Kasumi wailed, predictably. “Don’t forget about Kasumin… I mean Kasumyan!”

“Sorry, Kasumyan, but my hands are full.” Yuu apologized. “Maybe a raincheck? And while I’m at it, to complete the subgroup, I suppose I could get Shizunyan in as well.”

Really? Were they all going to get their names nyanified now?

“Thank you for the offer, Yuu-senpai,” Shizuku said “but I shall pass.”

“Ah ha!” Ai laughed. “So that was Yuyu’s plan all along! Surround herself with catgirls.”

Yuu shrugged. “It’s a school idol club and we already had the props. It was bound to happen eventually anyway.”

Yuu surrounded by catgirls? Ayumu didn’t particularly like that idea. However… she glanced over at the girl opposite her. Perhaps… if it was just them… maybe it would be alright? Maybe. Just maybe.

“Kyaa!” Kasumi shrieked. “Sh-Sh-Shizuko, when did you get…?!”

Ayumu looked up to see that the theater student had made her way behind the boastful idol and placed a pair of cream-colored ears on her.

“There, there.” Shizuku said gently, patting her fellow first-year’s head. “That’s a good girl, Kasumyan.”

“I… I’d still prefer Senpai to give me head pats…” Kasumi grumbled.

Shizuku’s shoulders slumped, she dropped her hand and donned a hurt expression. “So, I’m not good enough to substitute?”

Kasumi turned, made eye contact with Shizuku and winced. “That’s not what I meant! I’m sorry Shizuko! You’re head pats are great! Please, uhm… please continue.”

Immediately, Shizuku brightened. “Shizunyan.” She corrected cheerfully and resumed patting the other girl’s head.

“Wait, were you just acting?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Ayumu detected a small change in Shizuku’s smile. “You’ll have to figure that out on your own.” Had she actually been acting?

“Hmmm… nya~n…” Kanata drawled sleepily.

Emma giggled in response which pulled Ayumu’s attention to that side of the table. The redheaded third-year had found a light brown set of cat ears with cute purple lining, placed them on Katana and started petting her like Yuu was doing to her and Setsua and Shizuku was to Kasumi. She had also found a red pair with green lining for herself.

“Here, Karinyan.” Emma smiled and held out a blue set.

“No thanks, Emma,” Karin started to refuse “I’m goo… eh?” Pink started to dust her cheeks as the accessory was moved closer. “Fine…” She sighed and relented.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Karin reached up and placed a hand on top of Emma’s head. The redhead responded with a content hum and pushed up a little into the affectionate gesture.

“Ainyan’s not going to be left out of this!” Ai proclaimed, practically jogging to the table. “Ne, Rinya, don’t these look a little like Hanpen’s?” She held up a set.

“Mm.” Rina confirmed. “They are very cute. I like them.”

“Perfect.” Ai grabbed what looked like a yellow set for herself and made her way back to the couch.

So, did that mean everyone in the club was now wearing cat ears? Ayumu wondered. No, everyone except… She looked up.

“What’s up, Ayumyan?” Yuu asked with a gentle smile as their eyes met and she paused her pats.

Geez, there was no way Ayumu was going to get used to that nickname. With heat gathering in her cheeks, she averted her gaze. Yuu seemed to be all too willing to dismiss the disruption as she hummed happily and resumed her affections.

As a peaceful quite settled in the clubroom, Ayumu turned her attention once again to Setsuna. So often she had thought of the excitable girl as likened to a puppy. However, as she was now, Setsuna looked very much like a cat about to curl up in Yuu’s lap, start purring and fall asleep.

Adorable.

What might it be like to be the one petting her? Ayumu considered. What if Yuu-chan and I swapped places? Would they both look up at me like that? Would they call me… Goshu… Geez, she couldn’t even complete the thought. Still, as embarrassing as it might be, it was more than a little appealing. Perhaps next…

Wait, didn’t they still have practice?

----------

Setsuna felt heat rise in her cheeks as memories from earlier in the day suddenly sprung forth in her mind. She shook her head, though was unable to avoid the oncoming thoughts. With a sigh, she sat back in her chair for a couple minutes of break from her studies.

Geez, she had really let herself get carried away. Sure, new songs from Yuu were always worth excitement and one based on a beloved anime series worth that much more, but…

Had she really needed to do that with Yuu? Setsuna mentally checked through other possible candidates. The first-years were out as calling someone younger master seemed strange. She didn’t feel quite as close to the third-years, though any of them probably would have been fine with it.

That just left her fellow second-years. Ai would have probably teased her about such a display, which would have been a bit embarrassing but otherwise alright. However, how would Rina have reacted? Of course, by that logic, targeting Yuu had resulted in upsetting Kasumi. So that only left Ayumu.

Ayumu-san…

While Yuu’s affection had been great, really great, wonderful in fact, Setsuna couldn’t help wondering how it might have felt if Ayumu had taken Yuu’s place. She then immediately realized she already had a fairly close approximation by way of how often Ayumu styled her hair.

And on that topic, was it Setsuna’s imagination or had Ayumu been the only one to work with her hair as of late? Though many of the prepping duties before their Lives were divided among anyone able to assist, ever since Ayumu had taught her how to make her adorable signature braided buns, it seemed she had been the one to style Setsuna’s hair.

Setsuna racked her memory. Had Yuu really never helped with that? Ai? Emma? Anyone else? She couldn’t recall. Strange. But, was it intentional? Surely Ayumu wasn’t the type to quietly manipulate a situation to ensure a desired outcome, right? No, it had to be a coincidence. In either case, Setsuna was unable to come up with a reason to object to the situation.

Setsuna blinked. That had been an odd tangent.

A different thought occurred to her. Had she overstepped her bounds earlier? Had she put herself in a position that could be interpreted as trying to come between Ayumu and Yuu?

Setsuna ran a replay of their walk from school to the station after practice. Neither seemed to behave differently toward her or attempt to exclude her from conversation or anything like that. It had all seemed quite normal, as far as she could tell.

The three had talked about plans for choreography and costuming for the new song. Of course, Yuu had used several opportunities to tease Ayumu who responded with her predictable flustered adorableness while Setsuna enjoyed the show. Just another enjoyable walk with them, same as yesterday and hopefully tomorrow, and as many other days as possible until the end of their school year. And maybe next year as well.

So no, it would seem Setsuna had not overstepped her bounds and was still on good terms with her two closest friends. That was a relief. If anything, perhaps she had actually strengthened her bonds with them? That would be nice. Really nice.

Setsuna smiled to herself as she suddenly had the urge to rewatch the catgirl anime. She glanced at the clock and determined she had spent enough time studying and it was late enough that her parents were unlikely to walk in on her. She slid her laptop in front of herself, navigated to the streaming site and started watching. Tomorrow, she would have to be sure to talk with Yuu and Ayumu about it again.

----------

Author’s Notes Continued in Followup Post

[lostgirlrewatch]

1x10 - The Mourning After

Written by: Michelle Lovretta

Directed by: Paul Fox

Original Air Date: November 21, 2010

What the fuck happens in 1x10 again? I can’t even see straight. *wine sloshes in glass*

Oh.

Okay, so the premise of this one is that some Fae is making a bunch of women write horrible slut-shaming things about themselves on walls and then commit suicide. Pretty touchy subject, and not pleasant or comfortable. The villain is also, shocker, a really creepy misogynistic slut-shaming asshole. It’s all pretty yikesy.

But this one’s good. A classic. Lotta classic lines. Lotta good character moments. Lotta big plot stuff making a dramatic entrance.

Bo is forced to go talk to Lauren for information on the case, and oh my god you can cut the awkward tension in this scene with a knife.

“She had sex about an hour prior to her death. It appears consensual,” says Lauren.

Oh. OOF. The look that Bo gives her at that last comment is fucking scathing. Then Bo says, “Not so sure I trust your judgment on sexual matters.” 

Ha. HAHA! Oh my god. Fuck yeah, Bo. Throw that shade exactly where it belongs.

The fact that Lauren making an innocuous comment about sexual consent, specifically, is what triggers Bo’s anger, is really telling. Because Bo doesn’t really see her sexual encounter with Lauren as consensual anymore. It was consensual at the time, at least in her mind, sure. But Lauren’s lying, emotional manipulation, and ulterior motives have clearly complicated her memory of the experience. She feels betrayed on a much deeper level than just, “Oh, she lied,” if we’re bringing up the topic of consent.

Lauren was the one who made the first move; she nudged Bo into it. And Bo said “yes,” but she was consenting to sex with Lauren that night on the assumption that she and Lauren had a genuine emotional connection, and that Lauren was super eager to pursue it. Finding out that that’s not what was going on on Lauren’s side renders that consent null and void. This was not a simple misunderstanding on Bo’s part--this is misinformation that Lauren was deliberately feeding her. Regardless of whether Lauren actually has feelings for Bo, those feelings are not why she lured her into bed that night.

This is not the last time the topics of Lauren and dubious sexual consent will be brought up together. Shocker. 

She’s a piece of shit. But anyway--

Bo and Kenzi head to the bar to find clues about who the victim had sex with right before she died.

And--oh. 

I love her entrance. As Bo and Kenzi slip out of frame, we see “Saskia” just casually walk towards us. Bold, dramatic, clearly important. The framing of this shot is so cool.

Subtle, Bo. Also, I notice that Bo is just “Bo,” but Kenzi is “Astra” at one table and “Svellana” at another.

“Oh, my favorite literary quote about regret! Wow. Fun. Um, well, I think it was the great poet, uh, Ludacris! Who said, ‘Regret is for suckas, for suckas, for suckas. Regret is for suckas...bitch."

Saskia: *sits down*

Bo: “Oh, wow. I didn’t know this was girl on girl too.”

Gross. No. Please don’t say that. (About her.)

OH. OH NO. THAT’S CURSED.

ME TOO, KENZI.

Later, Saskia is like, “You should have marked your territory.”

Kenzi: “Like what, pee on it?”

Bo wants to stay and talk with Saskia, the first succubus she has ever met, so she can ask her all sorts of stuff about their kind, and so on. Kenzi, meanwhile, feels a little neglected. She goes to the Dal to hang out with Trick, but Trick is just rude to her. I’m starting to notice Kenzi feels neglected really easily.

It’s a mood, though. I know exactly how she feels.

Just look at how excited she is when Trick asks for her help, and specifies that he wants her help, not Bo’s or anyone else’s. When Trick asks for help initially, Kenzi’s kneejerk response is, “Should I go get Bo?” When Trick tells her that it’s her help he needs, she is genuinely surprised. Kenzi craves being valued as an individual and seen.

Saskia: “Your mom is probably a succubus.”

Ha. Yeah.

Seeing Bo and Saskia tag team this creep is kind of badass. Too bad it’s short-lived.

HALE. HAAAAAAAAAAALE.

I miss Hale. Why isn’t he utilized more? For fuck’s sake.

They beat the bad guy, and Saskia almost kills him. Bo, of course, is mortified by this, because she’s not a murderer. Saskia, on the other hand, is like, “Um? This guy is a serial killer who has violently murdered a ton of women and almost killed you? He can die?”

Look, I’m no advocate for murder. But I can’t lie and say I don’t relate to that energy.

Bo dramatically hugs Dyson in front of Lauren just to piss her off. Gotta love the passive aggression.

In the end, Bo and Saskia massively disagree over the morality of killing someone, and Saskia skedaddles out of town. Bo is crushed over this; Saskia is the first person she has ever met from her own kind, and worse, Saskia left before Bo got to learn better chi control from her.

She hugs Kenzi when she comes back and tells her that she missed her. Then she does something really nice and asks Kenzi about her day and problems instead of immediately diving into venting about her own. It’s a nice moment. One step forward, before we go through the next couple seasons and proceed to take two steps back.

*rubs hands together* *whispers* But I love the drama.

So we met Saskia this episode! Who is surely not a really important character and is surely just a one-off character who will never appear again!

I have to say, I enjoyed this one. Saskia and her actress bring a really intense, chaotic energy to the show. She’s dangerous. But also weirdly likable? Right off the bat, we know that we can’t trust her, because she’s sketchy and has massive chaotic energy, but she brings an edge that the show was seriously missing, and carries with her some incredibly valuable knowledge that makes it hard for Bo to resist letting her in.

She’s interesting. She’s a wild card, thrown in at just the right time in the season.

She strikes you as existing in a kind of moral gray area, rather than being an outright villain. But we will just have to see.