#of course i had to do a mitski edit

[andorology]

nothing in the world belongs to me but my love, mine all mine nothing in the world is mine for free but my love, mine all mine

[just-some-random-blogger]

Losing Dogs

Neither you or Aegon wanted to get married. Neither you or Aegon wanted to marry each other. But at some point, you figured you should make the most of what you had, and so you offer your husband a deal he cannot refuse.

Aegon Targaryen x Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, arranged marriage/loveless marriage, smut (piv, virginity loss, rough/loveless sex) DD:DNE, alcoholism, violence, suicide/suicidal thoughts & ideation, mentions of domestic/child abuse, death, pregnancy/miscarriage, aegon's mommy issues, insecurities, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: ... i had something to say about this fic but i forgot... maybe ill remember later???? edit: i did not remember. i thought of mitski while entitling this so go play i bet on losing dogs ig?

Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @deniixlovezelda @azperja @sloanexx @risefallrise

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Aegon only truly understood what this meant the day he was married and he was forbidden to drink a drop of alcohol.

As if it wasn't painful enough that he was going to be married to a complete stranger from some house he's never fucking heard of, he was erratic and uneasy the whole day because of the withdrawal. He loathes the preparation, the ceremony, the fucking pageantry of it all.

He thinks it was worse that you seemed to be so chipper the entire time. You smiled with a halo, skin shining with the light. You also seemingly did no wrong, judging by the praises you received from his mother and grandfather. But, who was he kidding, of course they fucking loved you, they chose you to be his prison keeper.

You did not press him once, not when you were preparing for the ceremony, not when you were at the feast, not even after the Queen encouraged you to dance.

Anyone with eyes could see from how he slumped on his chair during dinner that Aegon would rather die than circle around the room to this grating noise echoing in the chamber.

The band begins to play another song and another round of dancing ensues.

He stares at the food on the table. Oh, to be a suckling pig.

The relief that coursed through him when he could finally leave was enough to knock him out. Except, he really wanted, no, needed a drink.

He crashes on his bed, belly down, and reaches for the cabinet door on his bedside table. He feels for his bottle, hand knocking into the corners of the compartment, but he sits up when he finds nothing.

He growls in frustration upon realizing this was definitely his mother's doing. Thief!

"I managed a cup."

Aegon struggles to look over his shoulder from his position. He rolls on his back as you walk to the side of the bed.

He stares at you. You offer a glass holding burgundy liquid. Your voice is soft and kind as you explain, "your mother would suspect me if I took a whole bottle."

Aegon pushes himself up and sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. He gulps at the wine you were offering.

Sure, he may not be the brightest, but anyone could tell this scene was the epitome of ulterior motives. Aegon leans on his thighs, "why are you doing this?"

You stare a moment. You clutch the cup in both hands and examine it. Again, your voice is gentle, "you are clearly in torment. It hurts my heart."

His eye twitches.

I see. It seems you were a fucking saint.

Aegon rips the glass out of your hands, some of the wine spills over. He downs the contents in one go, then chucks the glass across the room once he finished.

He looks back at you, glaring with watery eyes. He was exhausted, he was angry, and he wanted you to know it. But you don't flinch at the sound of the glass breaking. You didn't flinch at all when he showed aggression. Why didn't you flinch?

You press your lips and sigh. You step towards him and reach out.

He nervously straightens up and tilts his head back as you approach. His breath hitches when your warm hand touches his cheek. He blinks rapidly.

"It's been a long day. Would you like me to help you change?"

Again, his eye twitches.

And then he realizes what you mean.

Ah. So, this is what you wanted?

He releases a breath, eyes lowering. Your face falls into a slight frown.

He thinks about it for a moment. I mean, sex was sex and he was game. It didn't matter how he performed, his completion was all that mattered, really. And you were pretty enough, albeit irritatingly good.

When you stroke his hair, Aegon pulls at your skirts, causing you to squeak and topple, hands flying to his shoulders for support. Your faces are inches apart. He pulls you down until you have no other choice than to sit on his lap.

You can smell the remnants of the wine he just drank on his breath. Aegon brings his face closer to yours, and you let out a soft 'hmp'. You mutter, "I gather you don't want to change, but want to get out of your clothes."

He narrows his eyes as you shift on his lap and undo the buttons by his chest. He mutters dumbly, "this is what you wanted."

With knit brows, you retort, "I've not yet told you what I wanted." You shift on his lap again as you peel his top off. Amidst it, he asks, "what do you want?"

You grunt after ridding him of his top. You fold it in your arms then set it aside on the bed. You turn back to him. Aegon's breath hitches when you fondle with strings of his undershirt. He watches your lips as you mumble, "I want you to give me a ride on your dragon."

He furrows his brows. But that's what he just said.

You stand, only to lift your skirt and take your place back on his lap. This time, you straddle him.

Aegon gulps, hands coming to your hips like a magnet. He feels you grind on him; shaky breaths leave his lips in response. His hands scratch up your back and a moan escapes him when your nails trace his collarbones.

"Allow me one trip on Sunfyre, and in return, I'll be your magic lamp," you whisper, taking one of his hands, bringing it to the side of your ribs, "you may rub me where you like-"

His heart skips when you kiss his cheek.

"-and I will grant you all your wishes."

Aegon ticks.

The next moment, he pushes you down on the bed. He doesn't bother getting either of you naked, nor does he prepare you at all in fact. Thankfully, you were already wet.

You don't have the opportunity to ask him to be gentle, to explain you were a bride after all, and it was your wedding night.

Aegon grips your skirts as he fucks you like he means to prove a point. He snaps his hips roughly into you to assert dominance, to exemplify control. Sure, you offered yourself to him, but he was the one doing the work, and you were the one beneath him.

In truth, the pace he set gave you more pain rather than pleasure. And with how pent up he was, the rough tempo he set burnt him out way too quickly before it could make any of you feel good. And when he begins to lag, you start to feel good.

You notice this change and rub your nose against his. He recoils, unused to affection when fucking. It snaps him back into an aggressive trance.

You yelp. Aegon convinced himself it was a sound of bliss.

You kiss his jaw and work your way to his ear, hoping to calm him down. He tenses at the feel of your tongue on his lobe. It stokes flames in his belly and makes him involuntarily roll his hips slower to focus on the attention you're giving. In return, his pace is just enough for him to hit that spot that makes you throw your head back.

Aegon is startled by the scratchy groan that leaves your throat. He finds himself lifting his head to spectate, but you pull him into you by the nape and groan, "like that. Please- gods - that feels good."

His brows tense and he rolls his hips again, finding the same reaction.

You wrap your arms and legs around him, uncaring of how hot and sweaty you were getting. In the heat of the moment, you reach for his lips, needing them, needing something to wrap your own on.

Aegon kisses you. He kisses you with a strange twinge in his chest. He kisses you until he has to pull away and reposition himself to catch his building climax.

In a second, he's back to his fuck-loving self, only self-serving and lustful. As he gazes upon your writhing body, catching the beads of sweat on your skin, the concentration on your face, and the way you chant his name as you part your legs for him, he's overcome by another spirit. To watch you break, to watch you coil and collapse around him felt just as urgent as his need to come.

And so Aegon rubs your clit and forces you to peak first; you do it so well he curses loudly and comes after.

He lays on top of you for a moment, the overwhelming need to be held ripples through his body. He recalls how his whores shoo him away after he's done fucking them though. Before you can cradle him in your arms, he rolls off you.

You close your legs and and watch him strip himself and sequentially change. You watch him get back in bed and bring himself underneath the covers. He goes to sleep.

He fucking goes to sleep.

You feel hollow after this, but tell yourself it's nothing personal. You repeat this as you, yourself, get up and change, sequentially sleeping too. Or at least you try. You have fight the urge to cry for hours before you do.

The next morning, you bring up dragon riding to Aegon, and disappointed as you are, you are unsurprised to find that he was unwilling to give you such a thing.

It was a plain thing you were asking for, you explain. And it's exactly why he doesn't want to do it. It's clearly some trick, something to trap him, something he's going to regret. It was probably some ploy orchestrated by his mother.

Oh gods, he thinks, it's worse. It's a bonding experience so you can make him into your puppet. Fuck. No.

So, he does what he does best, and makes an excuse, "I don't feel like riding today. I'm still exhausted from the festivities."

You purse your lips and nod, "that's understandable. Would you like for me to get you something?"

Wait. You weren't going to argue about him not keeping his end of the deal?

You seem to catch this, considering your response and the way you take his hand. You place his palm on your chest. He can feel your pulse quicken as you mutter, "I am your magic lamp, husband. I wish to please you. I will prove this until you trust me enough to grant me a ride on dragonback."

He narrows his eyes, "you would grant me wishes, all in return for a ride on Sunfyre?"

You smile softly at him, "in return for respite, yes."

He doesn't trust your smile.

"I want to visit the Grey Cliffs. I have for a years now. I went there once as a child and long to go again."

"Why?" he knits his brows at your explanation, "what's there?"

You lower his hand and rub his skin, "respite, my prince."

Aegon pulls his hand away.

Very well. If that is what you want, then he will wear your wishes dry until you find it no longer worth the trouble.

Aegon wishes on his lamp everyday, and his wife sequentially plays entertainer, jester, servant, and slave.

He makes you bring a bottle of wine with you everywhere, and pour him a cup when he wishes. He loathes how you seem unbothered by it. He loathes how you don't even correct a visiting Lord who mistakes you for a cupbearer and simply serve him some wine. The Lord is mortified when he realizes you are his wife, a fucking princess. Aegon hates how you tell the man you were unbothered because you spent your whole life being a cupbearer to your father anyway.

He makes you do trivial tasks as well, sometimes tasks meant for more than one person at a time, and yet you still manage to do them, annoyingly better than the maids. When he demanded you cook him a full course meal, you did so all by yourself, and had the servants looking at you like you were some goddess.

He ripped a hole in his clothes then made you mend it. You covered the hole so seamlessly that he poked a bigger one right in front of you. And even then you don't give him the satisfaction of getting angry. You tell him you will embroider something on top of the hole and he storms off. He overhears you telling the servants, who applaud your level-headedness, that you were used to angry men, because your father was just the same.

You use each of these moments to somehow tell him you were the perfect wife and he had to oblige your stupid request at some point.

But then he found your flaw.

Aegon asked you to play the harpsichord for him, and you told him you did not know how. The woman who knew all did not know something? He would then proceed to hang this over your head. When he asked you for food, he'd tell you how much better it'd taste if he had entertainment. If he asked you to do something physically taxing for him, he's say that he wouldn't have asked you to do it, had you known how to play his 'favorite' instrument. He would use this as the reason why he could never bring you to Grey Cliffs.

It was all fun and games, but then you had to snitch, hadn't you?

"What are you doing to that poor girl!" Queen Alicent barked, making his ears ring.

Aegon groans from where he lies in bed. His mother rips the blankets off him, making him wake in a sour mood.

"She is your wife!" Alicent yells, "not your slave! Fine, you wish her to do tasks for you, tasks for your betterment. But to insult her standing by treating her like a maid is beneath a prince, Aegon!"

Aegon feels his throat tighten at the sight of his angry mother's face, "she is my wife," he growls, "I do with her as I please."

She strikes his cheek.

Aegon's head whips to the side. He doesn't have the energy to look back at her.

"You will no longer parade her as a cupbearer. I will have it decreed you are not ever served a drop of wine if you don't."

Alicent leaves after this. Aegon's anger explodes when the door closes.

He screams and rips at his hair. He kicks furniture around and eventually drops to the floor, exhausted, furious, and hurt. This was all your fault.

He screams again and claws the tears on his face. He slowly exhales through tight lips. His cheek is hot with saltwater. Who was he joking, this was all him.

This was all Aegon's doing.

His breathing is impeded by snot. He walks over to his window and stares at the ground below. If he jumps head first, not even the best maester in Westeros could fix him.

Before he can lean on the ledge, he is paralyzed in his spot by the sound of the door opening.

"I did not know she would be angry with you," you say.

Aegon looks back.

You see his red eyes and wet skin. He is a mirror to your younger self. You feel sick to your stomach. You try to explain, "I only asked if she could find a harpsichord teacher. I did not realize she would take offense in wanting to learn to play for you."

Aegon's heart aches at your naïve response. You were a stupid, perfect wife, and he, a stupid, petulant husband.

"I'm better off dead," he mumbles, looking back out the window. The call of the fall felt inviting, "want to push me, wife?"

You don't respond.

Aegon looks back at you, and suddenly you're only inches away. He tries to evade you, but you manage to catch his hand.

"We could jump together."

"What?"

Your face is blank. You part your lips, and for a moment, your eyes seem desperate, but then it's gone. You sigh, "dying is quite lonely," looking down, "I could keep you company."

Aegon stares at you. Tears stream down his face. "You're mad," he sniffles, yanking his hand away.

He walks over to his bed and collapses on it. He wraps himself in a blanket and feels sorry for himself, and angry at you for suggesting such a thing. Even now you want to be perfect by dying with him?

"I am," you mutter.

Aegon watches as you walk over to him. You sit on the floor beside his bed and look at your hands as you rub them.

"I cannot play the harpsichord, because my father does not like noise," you explain, "I was not allowed to make a sound or else I would be punished."

Aegon covers his head with a blanket but keeps his face visible, "he beat you, didn't he?"

You look at him, eyes melancholy, but still, he is the only one crying, "he beat everyone."

Aegon does not respond.

"I can sing though."

His brow raises, "how can you sing?"

"I would practice whenever he was gone, and sing for my mother in secret. It made her happy... happy enough."

He knew there was more to this confession, but he was too tired to ask about it, too tired to shed more tears.

"Would you like me to sing for you?"

"No."

"..."

"..."

"Would you like me to hold you?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

You stand from where you sat and get on the edge of the bed. Aegon watches as you slowly lie beside him. You bring an arm over him and pull him close. Aegon closes his eyes as you bring him into your chest.

You hold him until he falls asleep. Later that night, he asks you to hold him again. He also asks you to sing to him.

Aegon nestles his face in the crook of your neck. He wraps his arms around your torso, digging his fingers between your flesh and the bed. Your hushed voice reverberates in the bedroom, the song you sing is haunting and soothing. The vibrations from your chest lull him to sleep. You feel wetness pool by your clavicle but you make no note of it.

Aegon asks you to hold him the next morning after breaking fast. He asks you to stay with him in bed and to sing to him some more. When you have to leave his side, he asks to join you and waits until he can have you in his arms again.

Aegon becomes your shadow, and follows you around, under the promise of getting to share in your embrace. As you read and review letters or ledgers, your seat becomes Aegon's lap. He sleeps against you while you work without a fuss, cheek pressed against your back, arms fastened around your waist.

Sometimes, he notices the line that forms between your brows while you read and at some point, asks about it. You explain what causes it, and he is unmoved, as he is uninterested in politics that stress you. But when you read out to him, he finds comfort in your voice and asks you to read some. He falls asleep to your calm droning of circumstances he could not care less about. He groans and groggily awakens when you stop. He mumbles against your skin that you continue, pleadingly so.

When you had to leave the Keep for business, Aegon insisted that he joined you. When you brushed his cheek and explained to him why he could not go and that you would not be long, Aegon pushed you away and stormed off. You left without him anyway, and the treachery he felt was so great, he realized then how he could no longer go day to day without you. What was there to do, if you were not there?

And so Aegon desperately rubs his magic lamp and wishes upon you.

He wishes that you never leave without him again once you return.

He wishes that you promise to no longer make plans without him.

He traps you beneath him on your shared bed and wishes to be inside you. He kisses you and wishes to see you completely bared to him.

Aegon's mind is dizzy as he gazes upon the glory of your skin. He kisses your thighs, your hips, your breast, your lips.

Aegon wishes to surrender to you. He wishes that you undress him. He wishes to pull you on his body like a blanket. He wishes to see you take control. He wishes to see you cast your eyes upon him and lay your weight on his body.

He wishes to see you use him, to take what you need from him, to pleasure yourself, and to make him yours. He squeezes your thighs desperately when you moan out his name. This was much more maddening that what he imagined it would be.

He wishes to feel you come undone around him. He wishes he could forever feel the pleasure he did when he comes right after you do.

He wishes to hold you after. And when he holds you, when you lay on his chest and kiss him there, he wishes to never leave this moment ever again. He wishes to sing to you like you've sung to him.

"What are your plans tomorrow," Aegon asks as he draws nothings on your back.

You lift your head from his chest. He looks at you. You smile, "whatever you wish them to be."

He rubs your back and smiles, "I wish to take you to the Grey Cliffs."

Your expression drops, "what?"

He raises a brow at your reaction. You shift on your place. You straddle him again.

He looks up at you, noticing the line between your brows. He rubs your thighs, "you've granted me all my wishes. It's time I grant you yours." He shifts on his elbows and sits himself up, "it's time you meet my mount and-"

"We don't have to," you cut him off, placing your hands on his shoulders.

Aegon examines your expression. He listens to you sigh.

"I'd like to keep you-- wish to keep you..." you correct yourself, pushing him back down.

He looks up at you, feeling your hands rake up his body.

"...just like this," you finish, eyes solemn, lips curving into a soft smile, "I've not felt a thing like this in my entire life."

Aegon takes one of your hands and places it on his cheek. He whispers it like a secret, "neither have I."

You lean down to kiss him, "I wish to keep like this."

He kisses you back.

He is blindsided by how his wishes came to bite him in the arse. It's all crashing down on him. Suddenly, he wishes he didn't actually do any of those things with you.

He most of all wishes he heard you wrong. He wishes you didn't repeat yourself when he stupidly said, "what?"

"I'm with child," you speak slower, less excited yet excited still.

Aegon wishes you didn't look so excited. He wishes he fucking pulled out, but gods, you felt so good-- you feel so good around him, he felt so good inside you.

He realized the next moment, it couldn't be helped. You were going to have to bear his spawn at one point or another. He wishes you didn't have to. He wishes his seed wouldn't take completely. He wishes you don't take it to term. He wishes he won't have to be a father. Fuck.

He realizes he's been too quiet and you were waiting for a response from him. Your face began to twist. Your smile fades.

"Congratulations," Aegon musters. He feels like he swallowed a metal ball. His eyes wander to your belly. He mumbles mindlessly, "I suppose."

Your face falls.

Aegon looks back at you. Your face is devoid of any semblance of the glow it normally holds. You look sick. You feel sick.

"I see," you say, unintentionally allowing him to hear your voice break. Aegon's brows furrow at it.

He shakes his head, "you will be a great mother," he chuckles dryly, "you mother me so well."

You offer him a smile, but Aegon can see how disconnected it was from your eyes. You say, "thank you."

When you leave him after this, he wishes he hadn't said a word. He wishes he just left it at congratulations. He wishes he just pretended like the idea of having a child didn't mortify him and make him sick to his stomach. He wishes he wasn't so ill-suited to be a father.

Ageon no longer wishes for anything after this.

He no longer wishes to hold you, though he so badly wanted to. He no longer wishes to hear you sing, nor does he wish to hear you read to him. He no longer wishes to be around you, though his body urged him to follow you around like the lost soul he was.

He wishes he didn't wonder what you were doing at every moment of the day. He so desperately wishes to rid you from his mind completely that he drowns himself in his first and only true love, alcohol.

Fuck. He wishes he hadn't taken this route to his room. He wishes you hadn't taken this route to wherever it was you were going. He wishes he just turned around and fled like the coward he was, because then, you wouldn't have spoken to him.

"Husband," you curtsey.

Aegon stiffens and uncomfortably avoids your eyes.

You catch it, feeling your chest tighten painfully. You clear your throat and take a deep breath to steel yourself, "I thought you should know that I will be travelling."

Aegon looks at you.

"I have a ship ready and I'll be visiting the Grey Cliffs. Do not wait up for me."

His face falls. He opens his mouth, but doesn't have an opportunity to speak.

"I thought you should also know that I am no longer carrying."

His eyes widen.

"It's not an uncommon occurrence the first few months," you say simply, "I suppose the gods do not wish me to be a mother."

Aegon feels like a murderer. He wants to say something, to apologize, to comfort you, but he can't. He's too taken aback to do a single thing.

He turns into stone when you take his hand. You step forward and place his palm on your chest. Your heart is slow as you speak, "you won't have to worry about anything anymore, Aegon. Today is the end of our shared torment."

Aegon's stomach drops when you kiss him.

His eyes are glassy. You pull away before he can kiss you back. He wants to hold you, but the sadness in your eyes reminds him he is undeserving. You kiss his wrist, "goodbye, my love. I love you."

His heart thumps as you walk away.

Aegon is manic. He basks in the mess he's made and feels crushed by it all.

He finally acts after wasting so much time feeling sorry for himself. You were long out of his sight by the time he started running. This is why he headed to the dragonpit and got on Sunfyre.

"WAIT!" he screams, just as your boat leaves the dock.

Aegon watches as you run to the edge of the boat. He lands Sunfyre and runs as far to the edge of the docks as he could.

"Aegon-"

"Take me with you!" he pleads, "let me be the one to take you to where you must go!"

You look back. The ship stops. The crew brings down a boat and on it, you are rowed back to the dock.

He crushes you in his arms once he reaches you.

"Aegon," you mutter.

"Forgive me," he shudders, "I... I wish you let me do this for you."

"Aegon," your voice croaks. You push him away, "go home."

His heart drops. He breaks away to look at you. Your words feel like a stab at his thorax. It was presumptuous of him to assume you'd want him back, but it doesn't kill him inside any less.

"I've come to realize this is a trip I must go on myself," you mutter.

He shakes his head, "no. Please." He motions an arm out to his mount, "one wish. That I grant you one wish before you throw me away forever is... is--"

Your throat constricts at his words. Tears rush down your eyes, "I'm not throwing you away--"

"Please," he squeezes both your hands in his, "please, let me do this for you."

The flight to the Grey Cliffs is quiet, save for the whoosh of winds and the roars of the golden dragon you both rode. You always imagined it would be freeing, but only now did you know how it freeing it truly felt to fly. You knew now you'd forever chase the euphoric crush of air against your skin.

Aegon, who sat behind you, looks at your form as you outstretch your arms and close your eyes. Your body presses against him, and in this moment, he is unable to hold back from wrapping an arm around you and sparing a kiss on your shoulder. You are snapped out of your trance because of this.

The Grey Cliffs are dark and gloomy when you get there. Aegon realizes when you land that it got its name from the weather conditions.

He helps you down and surveys the area, trying to make out which part of this drear land was so special to you that you wished to go here.

You catch his expression and squeeze his hand.

Aegon turns to you.

You give a solemn look, "the view is better on the edge."

Aegon strokes Sunfyre's cheek, commanding him to stay before you lead him by the hand to the edge of the cliff. Once you get there, he feels queasy looking down at the crashing waves far beneath him. In contrast, you seem comforted by the view. His brows furrow at the deep breath you give out.

When you look at him, his stomach feels it, the comfort you felt upon witnessing the violent waves. Whatever it was that compelled you to this place was the same force that compelled him to kiss you.

He reaches out for your cheek, his other hand coming to you back. He pulls you close. His heart twinges when you stop him from kissing you.

"Aegon-"

"Forgive me," he cuts, "I beg."

You gawk at him. He brushes your hair which was wildly flinging with the breeze.

"You must know by now that I am craven. I lack the spine and the wit to be of any use to you."

Your eyes water. Your lips quiver.

"I would be a hopeless father, worse than my own, no doubt."

"Aegon," you babble as sobs overtake you.

Aegon, himself, succumbs to tears. He wipes the ones streaming down your face before taking a breath, "but you made me feel a love I do not deserve."

You swallow a heavy lump in your throat.

"I love you," he confesses.

"No," you pierce his heart. You shake your head in disagreement, "Aegon, this is a mistake. Bringing you here was a mistake."

"No!" he blurts louder than needed, "this was a choice," he looks down, "I choose to rip my insides out for you to devour. I am miserable, much more in the heat of your hate, but most of all without you."

His downturned eyes land on your face when you grab his wrists. You croak, "I do not hate you."

Aegon is not relieved by the admission, but he chooses to believe you mean it. He smiles softly, "good."

"But I do hate this life I live."

He clenches his jaw. Of course you do.

"You saved me," you press a hand on his cheek, taking your turn to wipe his tears, "even if for a moment."

"I made you miserable."

You chuckle. The sound makes his heart skip.

"You filled my life with purpose," you smile softly, "even when you did not mean to."

Aegon knits his brows deeply and takes your hands. He brings them to his lips and kisses them.

"But accidents happen. You must remember that accidents happen all the time."

Aegon shakes his head, "this is not an accident. Believe me when I say I chose to do this, I- ... I choose to love you."

You sob and turn to your feet.

"Please... believe me."

You sniffle and nod, slowly looking up at him, "I believe you."

You lunge into his arms and seal him into a tight hug. He hugs you back like it's his only way of surviving.

A crack of thunder startles Sunfyre. He becomes restless and steals away Aegon's attention, panicked that he might flee and leave them here.

He pulls away and takes a step towards her. He holds your hand, urging you to follow, "we should go before it rains."

You hug him from behind and press your face into his back, "thank you for taking me on Sunfyre."

"It was a long time coming."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to fly. And now that I know how peaceful it is, I'm ready to fly one last time."

He turns to you as you slowly come to his side. You hold his hand. He looks at you as you turn to Sunfyre. He promises, "I will take you on dragonback as many times as you wish."

You smile, but your eyes are fixed on his dragon. You release his hand and wrap your arms around yourself, "he is beautiful. You must never tire looking at him."

Aegon gazes upon Sunfyre. He takes in his golden scales and has newfound appreciation.

You take a step back.

"He is. To be honest, it's been long since I, myself, took him out of the pit. He must enjoy this day as much as you do."

"Aegon, you must understand that what I have to say has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with me."

Aegon turns to you. He watches you tighten your arms around yourself. You must be cold. He rubs your shoulders.

You shake your head and turn him back to his dragon, "look at Sunfyre."

He knits his brows, "I'm looking."

"For so long," you release him, "I've wanted to fly free, to find my peace here in the cliffs. This was before I even met you." You point at the golden dragon, "I choose to love you too, but accidents happen, like if Sunfyre were to fly away, and you were to be left here alone."

Aegon stares at his ride for a moment as you lower your hand. He tries to makes sense of your words, but he cannot for the life of him understand.

He sighs, "what accident? Why do you keep-"

Aegon is flooded by confusion when he turns and finds you nowhere behind him. A split second later, he lets a horrified scream and the fear that claws into him makes his knees buckle. He crumbles to the ground and crawls to the edge of the cliff. He screams so loud that Sunfyre roars back and comes towards him.

Aegon watches as the red seafoam bubbles at the foot of the cliff. He watches as the crimson waves slowly slosh back into its original tint.

Rain begins to pour, and his tears taste no longer salty.

Was this the flying you ached for? Was this the relief you sought?

When he returns to King's Landing, dripping wet, he breaks down in front of his mother, weeping as he clutched his skirts.

Queen Alicent is obviously disturbed. She instructs her servants to get his son a change of clothes and some towels. She looks down at him, "what's happened? What's wrong, Aegon?"

"An accident-" he barely manages to say, "there's been an accident."

"An accident?!"

Aegon's mind goes blank. A bitter taste

You don't know what you have until it's gone.

[causenessus]

new grounds

part 0.8. SIDELINES . . . 1.27.2023

⋆｡°✩ technically this chapter begins around jan. 8th and i tried a little bit with major timestamps (ex. some posts will say 1 day ago or so which hopefully helps clarify timeskips just in case) ✩°｡⋆

PLAYING IN THE CAFE . . . abbey by mitski

his friends usher him out the doors as soon as the lights overhead turn back on. people sitting near him are standing up, turning around to talk to someone behind them but his friends have grabbed onto his shoulders and are plowing through the row out the door.

he holds the flowers close to him, a lump in his throat forming that he can’t seem to get rid of.

he’s glad he came. he’s glad his friends were able to get him here today. they talked for him when he couldn’t bring himself to and now it’s about to all pay off.

but they make it through the hallway back into the lobby and they’re surrounded by people. there’s so many people knocking into his shoulders he can’t think straight. his friends are giving him reassuring and teasing grins, clapping him on the back before most of them leave.

but his core group stays, he stands near bokuto whose also waiting while tsukishima and the rest choose to wait on the outskirts of the crowd. they’re all waiting for the cast to burst out the doors and he’s trying to calm himself down.

but he can’t do it. everything is too new to him. it feels like he’s blindly walking on a dark path he’s never been on before.

he shoves the flowers into bokuto's arms, along with the two other bouquets the man is already holding. “will you give those to y/n for me? but don’t say they’re from me.”

“what? are you sure? she’s coming out now,” bokuto says, looking back towards the doors leading backstage, where footsteps, ruckus, and laughter is slowly growing lowder

“yeah,” he answers grimly, bokuto looks at him before kageyama steps back, distancing himself to wait with tsukishima and yamaguchi.

“where’s hinata?” he asks.

“bathroom,” they answer in unison.

of course he was. why did he even ask?

“what are you doing back here? did you already talk to y/n?” tsukishima is looking ahead, towards the entrance to the theatre. the blond already knows the answer.

kageyama's eyes follow, just in time to see her come out. she looks as energetic and bright as always, a grin across her face that she can’t contain. he watches her find bokuto and see the three bouquets of flowers in his hands. her smile is even wider as she jumps into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

this feels much more familiar.

watching from the sidelines, watching other people live their lives, trying new things and finding the people they love.

this feels much more familiar, but something in him aches. he's not satisfied with what feels familiar and safe. he wishes that he had stayed over there. that he had done something new. that he had given her the flowers.

prev. | m.list | next

extras:

new grounds has a doormat that says “choose the path you’re unfamiliar with.”

(me subtly trying to write the title of this smau into this chapter but it didn’t flow like i thought it would 💀)

bokuto had one bouquet for keiji, one for y/n, and almost thought to say the third one was for them to split (it would be one of the bouquets that he bought, the one kageyama had for y/n would go solely to y/n) but then he just gave y/n two and explained it to keiji later

y/n has been putting off explaining what happened when kageyama walked her home to yachi for weeks

but keiji knows everything because of the amount of time they've spent in the booth together

keiji was the one with actual black shoes but everyone said it "cancelled out" because his pants had the tiniest white trimming at the ends

hinata also "cancelled out" the bet saying none of them had won since yams had to ask the group if they wanted to go to the show which is why tsukishima awarded him the pettiest bitch award

it took him like 5 minutes to make he just found an award template and edited it on instagram

hinata did in fact figure out y/n's favorite flowers but no one's sure how but because he actually did it kags didn't block him on his private account

yachi had to work closing night so she came on the 25th (y/n told her to wait just a little longer before she explained what happened with kageyama)

y/n was hoping to see kageyama when she came out to see bo and was looking in the crowd for him before she hugged bo but couldn't find him </3

taglist: @ncitygreen @lvrlamp @cherrypieyourface @mimi3lover @lees-chaotic-brain @frootloopscos @0moonii @cr4yolaas @eggyrocks @pinkiscool @httpakkeiji @localgaytrainwreck @lunaviee @kitty-m30w @lixie-phoria @aliruuiz @tartfrappe @corvid007 @iluv-ace @yvjitadori @k8nicole @ryeyeyer @thechaosoflonging @kettlepop (form to be added to taglist! <3)

[angxlofvenus]

A Shoulder To Cry On

Requested By: @saturnsapothecary Genre: Hurt/comfort Ship: The brothers x reader TW: Mentions of crying, distressed reader, physical contact, Undisclosed stressful situation, soft characters, angst tbh Word count: 1,107 An: Hi! What you are about to read is probably the most angsty thing I have written thus far. I joke a lot in my other writings but in this one I went with a more somber approach, mostly bc I listened to Mitski while writing this entire thing, Anyway, Heed the TW, and Happy reading ♥️

Pt. 2 can be found here (Dateables+Luke edition!)

It had been a rough week, 'Thankfully it's Friday' You thought, Climbing up The HoL staircase as you felt yourself start to break, By the time you had reached your room- all you could do was walk in, close the door, and start crying, collapsing onto the floor, Not hearing the door reopen and a certain demon pop his head inside...

Lucifer

Immediate concern, What has happened? 

He makes a bee-line toward you, kneeling infront of you.

Will rub soft and slow circles into your back as you start to calm down

Once he knows nothing is currently threatening you in any way, He would lead you to his bedroom (Not like that, get your head out of the gutter)

Will offer you a beverage as you sit on his bed, You don’t have to talk to him but…He is here for you and he needs you to know that.

If you want physical comfort, He will sit on his bed, gather you up into his arms and start to rock the two of you, His body crashed against yours like gentle waves, Pulling you in and then pushing you back out.

If you don’t wish to be touched, He absolutely understands either way. He hopes his soft-spoken words of comfort will help you.

He gets it, He feels nonstop worry and exhaustion from his many duties, He strives to make the Devildom a happy place for you but he knows he can not always insure that, But let him try to fix what has plagued you.

Mammon

When he finds you crying he feels horrendous and angry, Not at you of course! Just-

He’s supposed to be your first man, The guy you can find solace in no matter what! But looking at your tear-stained face he can’t help but feel like he’s failed you in a way 

He will do everything in his power to help you though, He may have not been there to stop this all from happening but that doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone!

Ask and you shall receive, No complaints! Anything you want that will make your grief lessen, He’d do it for you.

He isn’t the best speaker but he’ll start shooting off at the mouth about how much he cares about you and how he hates seeing you like this- Please let him help, In any way he can. 

Levi

Panic, He can barely handle himself- Let alone another person!

With shaky hands he will put a hand on your shoulder before looking at your reaction, 

If you want Physical comfort, he will slot himself beside you, not outwardly touching you, just kind of leaning onto you

If not, His hand retracts rapidly as he instead sits across from you

Either way, He’ll quietly ask if you want to talk about it, After your done talking/You tell him no- He will invite you to his room where you all spend the rest of the night watching your favorite animes/series

He knows he can’t take away all of your pain, But he hopes he can atleast put some nicer things in your mind

Satan

Brows furrowed, He takes quick but cautious steps toward you, almost like he would a cat.

The first thing that comes to his mind is anger, “Are you okay? Who did this?” He will ask you as softly as he could.

When he finds out what has happened, He will feel the surge of anger come back to him, Not at you- never at you, But at the world. He hates how powerless he feels in these moments, knowing there is nothing for him to solve.

So instead he does what he knows how to do, He takes you through breathing exercises and ways to help you calm down, He has spent centuries managing his anger so he has learned a thing or two-

Will talk you through your worries if you wanted before walking off, Only to then bring back your favorite book with him. He reads to you in the same soft voice you have grown to love, He knows he is only one demon but that doesn’t mean he won’t try to take the weight off your shoulders.

Asmo

His first thought is to swarm you, Asking questions, giving hugs, wiping away your tears- the whole nine yards

But he won’t. He knows how to respect boundaries no matter what, So he pushes down the feeling, instead dropping to his knees infront of you and asking what’s wrong.

If you want a hug or a shoulder to cry on he is their the second it comes out of your mouth, You don’t have to pretend with him, not ever- He won’t think badly of you for anything you vent to him about- He is there for you no matter what, Through thick and thin.

Only if your feeling up to it ofcourse, He’ll lead you to his room and bring out his ‘self care box’ The ice mask he lays across your face washes away the remnants of your tears as his hand cards through your hair

Beel

Drops all of his snacks in a flurry to get to you.

Unlike the others, He is looking for injuries- So your personal bubble is feeling a little violated

Once you tell him you are physically fine, His shoulders relax some and he takes a step away from you and says that he’s sorry for running up on you like that.

Gentle giant mode activated, Is gonna talk to you like he does Belphie, Asking what’s wrong and how he can help.

He feels so much responsibility for you, As he does all of his family, And is so crushed that he can’t go back in time and help you

He starts to think about what makes him cheer up and asks if you’d want to go to Madame Screams with him, If yes then he would put in all of his effort to making you forget all of your troubles

If no, He get’s it! Sometimes he doesn’t wanna go out either, He’ll just offer to go and pick up whatever you like from anywhere, No matter what! 

He wishes he could do more but sharing a dessert with you sounds like a good start.

Belphie

Blinks twice, Trying to see if he was seeing things right

Will make his way over to you in confusion, “Hey what’s wrong?” 

You decide whether you actually tell him or not, he’s chill either way- He understands why you would and wouldn’t want to talk to him about it

He isn’t the best at comforting but he does what he can, He’ll move y’all to your bed and will even give you his special cow pillow

Will start talking about random things, anything and everything- Letting his voice will you to sleep, Making sure that all of your dreams are nothing but happy days, Days he’d hope to make a reality soon.

Hey! Fancy seeing you here, I get that this post was a little heavy on the feelings, I just wanted everyone out there to know that You are not alone- No matter what you are going through and that my Dms and inbox are always open if you need to vent or just to talk in general, My blog is a safe space to anybody who needs it 🖤

[ma1dita]

my love, mine, all mine

based on this drabble : mean!remus

words: 2.8k

summary: Sometimes is not enough for someone who loves Remus this much. 

warnings: mean!remus x fem!reader !!!! mentions of sex; much angst they both cry, a lot of kisses & a very open ending, situationship blues, remus is a self-deprecating piece of shit!! 

a/n: thank you for the request anon!  i watched the eras tour movie and thought of mean!remus and reader during ‘tolerate it’.... sooo don’t blame me for what you’re about to read. title is from a song by mitski <3 always down to flesh out mean!remus and lovely!reader more if yall want--feel free to send in more requests and comments <3

(posted & edited: 10/15/23)

—

Sometimes he lets you down easy. You’ve memorized his face by now, every minuscule detail and the way it hardens when he makes up his mind. Remus is very deep set in his ways, a creature of habit forced by the resolution of hiding in the nighttime, waiting for the darkness within himself to find him under the light of the full moon. You know the whisper of a smile that dances across his face when he sees you, the way a scar kisses his brow when you surprise him, the mechanical tightness of his jaw when he dissociates himself from your embrace.

There’s a particular way his eyes drop that resembles falling snow and it tells you that he’s about to let you down again, buried under him and his excuses. It’s heavy. You wonder how someone so gentle, so fragile can leave you feeling cold, but you bare yourself to him anyway, trudging through the hope that whatever is between you can be more than sometimes. You know him intimately, wholeheartedly. But does he know you? Sometimes is the keyword here, and yet it is tiring, all of the time.

Your breaking point had to have been something big, something explosive. It had to, or why else would this facade have lasted so long? Why did you let him? Perhaps it was when he kissed your neck after Potions, asking to meet up after dinner. He moved away before you could follow him out into the corridor and joined his friends instead. The boys looked back at you, wanting to wait but Remus kept walking on. Or maybe it was when you woke up in his bed again, his side cold and your clothes folded properly at the edge. Remus was propped against his desk, mumbling that he had a very busy day ahead, and the silence that followed was enough to make you leave. Always good enough to bed, but never wanted by morning. It’s best to act like he wasn’t the one who asked you to stay.

—

None of those moments ruined your perception of him though. It was the lightest feather touch of a reaction that shattered the glass. He was walking you back to your common room after prefect duties, and you squeezed his hand gently, swinging it back and forth.

“D’you want to study for midterms tomorrow in the library? We could try to get that little table in the corner you like…” you said nudging his shoulder. He sighed, and his breath was hot against the crisp winter air as it landed on your cheek. Remus’s silence was your answer, and of course, it hurt. You’d do anything for a half-assed utterance to fill the shrill noise of your hope filling the space between you right about now. But this time was different though. This time he truly didn’t care. Remus looked at you with dead eyes, his mind somewhere far from where you were standing with him.

“Not this time, lovely.” The boy was tired, and so were you. The physicality of it was apparent in the way his posture hung low, and the way your shoulders fell from the emotional avalanche that his lack of effort pushed down on you.

“It’s okay. I hope you get some rest then.” Your eyes study his face, gliding from the crinkle of his temples to the scar on his nose and the freckles across his cheeks. He grimaces at your response. You wonder if any part of him hurts like this too. 

“Will I see you before we leave for winter break? Maybe you have time during the holiday.” Remus speaks quietly as if he’s the one being inconvenienced.

“Maybe,” you say. He makes a noise in recognition of that, nodding with his eyes closed. Stepping away from him, you turn to walk away before he’s behind you, lips against your hair.

“M’sorry.” He mumbles, breathing you in like wafting amorentia. His hands are shuffling through his pocket before he pulls out the wool mittens his mother knit for him the year prior. 

“Shouldn’t let your pretty fingers freeze in the cold.” He puts them on you daintily snapping the buttons closed, his nose against your ear. The corridor is silent alongside the slow thud of your heart. You walk away wordlessly, shoulders pinched like a chill has traveled down your spine.

—

Remus doesn’t see much of you in the days before winter break. Between studying for exams and his monthly run-in with the moon, there isn’t much time to catch his breath. He knows the hold he has on your heart is a devastatingly gory scene. You’ve let him in deeply as he burrows in every fang and claw he has to offer you. And in turn, he takes what he can grab with his razor-sharp touch. He tries earnestly to be gentle but the more of you he caresses, the more blood he has to mop up. 

His fingers are tapping on his forearm methodically as he waits for you outside of Transfiguration. Sorting through his thoughts as he waits for the rest of the class to finish the exam, Remus’ mind always falls back to you. Love is difficult, like many other aspects of his life, you see. He knows he loves his parents and his friends, but it makes him uncomfortable, much like someone undergoing anaphylaxis, to be honest with you. To lay himself out vulnerably to someone like you…He’s worried he’ll scare you off.

Students trickle out of McGonagall’s classroom, and you step out with your friends in tow, babbling about the exam. The feeling crawls up his throat as he tries to say something, but air and any coherent thought escapes him. What he feels for you has been making him do that a lot lately.

“Hey lovely.” he blurts out, body turning as he pushes off the wall in an attempt to catch your eye. But you keep rambling with your friends, throwing an arm over your roommate as you hardly spare him a glance. It’s not until your group reaches the end of the corridor that you look back at him for half a second, lashes fluttering as you turn back to your friends. And his heart is growing desperate, swelling, sighing as you continue to walk away.

—

You left for winter break without saying goodbye. The letters that he made his owl Nougat deliver to your bedroom window almost every day had you running out of treats to give her when she’d try to nip you for sending her back emptyhanded. Poor thing is getting fat. 

Your mother is so intrigued by your behavior that one night as you feed your baby brother a spoonful of mashed potatoes, she asks you something you’ve been wondering yourself.

“Honey, do you have a boyfriend?” The silverware clinks against your plate as you contemplate the answer. How do you explain this to your mother? How do you explain him? Has he hurt you so much that you bare your soul to her in hopes that she’ll put her work away and listen? Yes, but you let him, the little voice in your head says, so the guilt inside you keeps your response prompt.

“I don’t think so,” you say, your lips drawn tightly. Your brother spits out some mash and it dribbles down his chubby cheek as he laughs at the sight of you making faces at him. 

“What a mess, darling. Best clean it up.” You watch your mother’s eyes flit across your face instead of his before she says no more and goes back to cutting into her roast chicken. The napkin across your lap is wiped across his tiny face as you swallow hard.

What a mess, indeed.

After washing the dishes and excusing yourself, you crawl into bed staring at the ceiling. The moonlight shines brightly, a beam of light reflecting on the pile of unopened letters on your nightstand. Turning towards the wall, you shut your eyes and try to fall asleep.

You dream of him often. And in your dreams, he’s always just a little bit out of reach, always running away as you trip over snow-covered cobblestone, arms extended toward him. Though these dreams plague you, the realization hits that dreaming of him is better than your reality. In your dreams, your love is still pure and untouched. When you close your eyes you let yourself be the girl who was hoping at the beginning of it all. 

—-

The day after Christmas a pair of tiny hands shake you awake. Your eyes shift open to see your three-year-old brother peering up at you, hands tangled in your duvet.

“Your fwend is outside,” he whispers almost comically loud as you rub the sleep from your eyelids.

“What?”

“Your fwend is outside. I saw him in the window. He looks cold, sissy.”

You scoop him in your arms, carrying him back into his room and tucking him under the covers before you shuffle out front, watching Remus lean against his beat-up car. Throwing your coat on, you walk down your driveway, meeting him in a flurry of hot breath and cautious smiles.

“You’re not Nougat,” you say, raising an eyebrow at him as you stop short at his feet, crossing your arms.

“She’s almost too fat to fly now. Thought I’d get a message to you myself.” he chuckles, and it makes you remember why you liked him in the first place.

“Fancy a ride?”

He props the door open for you, hand ghosting the curve of your back. As you step past him to take a seat, he pulls you in for a kiss. It makes your knees tremble, having deprived yourself of everything about him for the past few weeks. The kiss sucks you in deeper as you anchor yourself onto the nape of his neck, and he’s moaning into your mouth. You hope your little brother isn’t watching through the window.

He drives you around in silence, neither of you knowing what to say. The heat is on high as he finally stops at the park, and he looks over at you. This time last year, he taught you how to drive here, both of you anxious for two different reasons—you trying not to crash and him discerning if you like him back. You both had sex in the backseat after you got the hang of it, windows fogged up and steamy. 

“Did you read my letters?” he starts, and you sigh before the end of his question. “No,” you mutter, looking out the window.

“Hey…What’s on your mind?” His fingers pull at your chin for you to look back at him, and you jolt back like he hurt you. You lean forward, pressing your palms into your eyes, breathing hard. He’s looking at you like he knows what’s coming, but he still hopes it’s not true. A boy made from Hope and of hope, that’s all he is. But it hurts to hope though. It hurts to hope for more when he knows he’s pushed you past your limits.

“There’s only so much you can expect of me, Remus. I’m just not sure I can do this anymore,” you whisper.

“Do what?” His voice is desperate and he’s hoping you won’t end this, even though you’re well in your right to do so.

“This. Whatever this is. Sometimes it feels like we’re together, but I know we’re not, and um… I’ve lost the plot. You’ve cut me too deep, Remus.” Your bottom lip is trembling as you croak out the words feeling sorry for yourself.

Remus leans his head against the window, knuckles white as he clutches the steering wheel. He’s going to lose you, and he’s petrified. 

“Look, if this is because I haven’t spent time with you at sch–”

“It is. But not just that. There are many reasons,” you cut in, your head tilting as you look at him. “You don’t make time for me, you’re embarrassed to be seen with me half the time. You act like I’m your girlfriend and Remus, you lie, constantly. I can’t keep up with what you throw at me and it’s too much, okay? I’ve let you hurt me for too long.” You get through most of it without hiccupping, but he can’t do anything but watch as you wipe your tears away.

“Do you love me?” he pleads, and if he’s ruined it all by asking that, he can’t tell. His hands run through his hair and he thinks he’s ripped to you pieces at this point. The carnage of the truth sits in his passenger seat as you sit there motionless, staring out the windshield.

“That doesn’t make me yours, Remus. It never has. My love is mine. That’s the only thing you can’t take away from me.”

Remus chokes on a sob as he watches your resolve harden. The windows are fogging up and it’s getting hard for him to breathe.

“I’m so sorry…I just don’t even know how to tell you th—”

“That you have lycanthropy?” Somehow hearing it from your mouth doesn’t scare him. This confession and your candor makes the shame he’s carried with him all these years feel lighter.

“You can say it how it is, lovely. I’m a werewolf. I– The moon shows me who I really am. A monster. I-shouldn’t…I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

Your hand brushes against his cheek, pressing the tears into the indents of your fingertips as you wipe away his sorrow. He does hurt like you do. And you’d take it all away if you could. 

“A monster doesn’t worry about if they hurt people they love. You didn’t mean to hurt me, did you?”

He sniffs, wiping his nose with his sweater as he shakes his head. Both of you brush over the notion of love. There is a time and place for that, and it sure as hell isn’t right now. He’s being vulnerable to you for once, so you tell him what he needs to hear. 

“You’re not a monster, Remus. You have a big heart, and you’re wonderfully sweet, but sometimes your actions hurt. I know….everything about you. And from the reasons I can’t do this anymore, lycanthropy isn’t even in the top 10.” You lean towards him, noses touching.

“But I never said I regret it.”

You wish you could find better words to tell him he’s not as damned as he thinks he is. That anyone is deserving of love, especially him, but it’s hard to convince him that. Remus surges the small distance to meet your lips, and you can’t help but indulge, because if he’s damned then so are you, pulling him over the console as he sighs in relief. 

—-

Later, he drives you home, one hand on your thigh rubbing circles as you watch his side profile, less taut, but without a smile. The secret’s out, and there’s not much left to do but navigate the bloodbath. He hopes that he’s able to pick up the pieces and do you right. Remus pulls into your driveway and the car engine rumbles lowly as you sit, unmoving.

The door unlocks and he waits for you to make a move. Your hand glides over the door handle before you turn instead to look at him and his hand is extended towards you, a millimeter away from yours.

“I really am sorry. For treating you like shit.” he sighs.

“I know.” A smile graces your lips as you lean in and you kiss him again tenderly, once, then twice. It soothes the tightness of his jaw and he hopes you don’t hate him after all of this. The passenger door opens, and you climb out and look at the sky. It’s snowing. He watches you standing there, snowflakes sticking to your hair. 

“I do love you, Remus,” you admit, biting your lip. “Isn’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?” The laugh that follows is humorless, his eyes wide as you shut the door. Trudging your boots through the snow, a shiver wracks your body. You peek back at the car once you get in the house and give him a kind smile before you step in.

Remus sits there with the weight of your devotion. Brave in all aspects but love, he hopes you can wait a little longer for him to catch up. For now, his eyes fall to the passenger seat as he shifts the gear into reverse. His wool mittens occupy the seat. Your hands must be cold again.

—-

“Sometimes, home is not a home, but a claw lodged inside you. A river you step into because it holds light. You are waist deep, wading in what mauls you.”

-Athena Nassar

love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: my love, mine, all mine by mitski & sleep tight by holly humberstone

taglist: @jsjcue

[rotisseries]

WHAT WAS THAT THING YOU EXPLAINED TO ME AGES AGO FOR WAITING ROOM ABOUT HOW TO LISTEN TO SONGS THAT ARENT ON SPOTIFY ??? I NEED RED FLANNEL GEORGIA AND I NEED IT NOW

AKAJDFJSKFKS OK THIS IS MY FAVORITE SPOTIFY FEATURE YAY!! relying on people to have uploaded things as a podcast sucks so bad because they get taken down a lot and also it breaks up the vibe because the title and artist are always something random and the little picture is just a sunset or whatever idk IT BREAKS UP THE VIBE

so you can do this from any device, (i prefer to do it from my computer though for reasons that'll be explained later) and if you have spotify premium you'll also be able to listen to it on all devices, but first thing you're going to do is go into your account settings and turn on the local files option

once you do that, it'll access any downloaded audio files you have, and you can listen to them on that device. they'll be stored in a spotify playlist named local files, similar to the liked songs one. (i would also recommend making a separate folder for the songs you want downloaded on spotify, at least on the computer, i know you can change which folder it takes from there. otherwise you might end up with random audio you downloaded for something specific in your spotify library.)

if you have premium, you can also turn on spotify on other devices, and add the song you downloaded to an actual playlist

and it'll sync up on all your devices and you can download the playlist on every device. if you don't have premium though you'll either have to download it on every device or you can only listen to it on the first one you downloaded it on.

now for actually getting the song. this is really simple I tend to go straight to youtube and it's usually pretty easy to find the song I want, and then I just put the link into a youtube to mp3 converter (dodging the hot moms in my area. maybe next time ladies) and then I download it. make sure it's in the right folder and boom! I now have mitski's cover of let's get married to cry to on demand! soundcloud also works though obviously because any audio file will do, and a lot of unreleased songs get uploaded to soundcloud, and there’s a handy little download button right there and you don't need an account! great if you run into a song that isn't on youtube. totally unrelated but I have phoebe bridger's cover of iris downloaded

now. reasons I tend to do it from my computer specifically.

1. most shady websites are just easier to navigate lol. it's twice as hard to deal with pop ups when things are also rotating your phone screen around. so yeah i'd prefer to hit up the mp3 converter from my laptop

2. if you have any songs where the only video for it has an annoying intro or outro, it can be easier to edit it out. like lil nas x's cover of jolene was from the youtube channel for some fucking radio station or whatever so I had to edit that out. and my laptop's native audio file player has a trimming option, so I didn't have to download extra software like I would on my phone

3. and most importantly to me, you can make it aesthetically pleasing. when you just download the audio file it won't have an album picture and it won't have an artist name it'll only have whatever the file name is as a title, which you can change obviously but it doesn't fix the rest of it. on the computer it is so easy to download a metadata editor, and you can edit the file's metadata however you want and it'll have the little artist line and the album if you want and you can put whatever picture goes with the song but this is of course not required it just matters a lot to me personally

anyway have fun!

[mysticalsoot]

someone to (not) watch me die

mistki and dsmp dr? tears.

➸ note; um so i got one too many dsmp crimeboys edits on my fyp that inspired this monstrosity. i don't often cry at whatever I write, especially while writing it but I'm still recovering so.. fair warning. its based off my dsmp dr with @lillylvjy so that's why its very very very canon adjacent. anyways, listen to I bet on losing dogs by mitski while reading (have it on repeat) if you want an extra lil sting. also I uh may have used this photo on a diff fic before but if I did, no I didn't!

➸ pairing; c!lmanbur x gn!reader

➸ summary; wilbur's been distant lately but when you finally convince him to spend some time with you, your life takes a dramatic turn. he doesn't always keep his promises.

➸ warning; hurt absolutely no comfort, MCD !!! incredibly implied suicide/assisted suicide (going into a battle knowing he's not coming back), swearing probably, overuse of baby (sue me), reader kinda wants to off themselves at the end but uh who wouldn't? implied age gap

➸ age-rating; 15+

➸ wordcount; 2k

main masterlist // part 2

it wasn't uncommon for wilbur to be distant with you, he always had his moments where he was less than loving. but he always had his moments, the nights where he'd come home after a day of work, crawling into bed and holding onto you like his life line. he'd kiss all over your face and murmur sweet words and praises, how much he loved and adored and appreciated you.

yet, the next day when you woke up, he'd be back in his office, working by lamplight and only responding with hums and refusing eye contact. it was torture for you. getting him again, held in your arms and so close to your heart only for him to walk away. to turn off his warmth and shove the cold into your face.

there came a day where you wouldn't seek him out anymore, you'd let him come to you if he so desired. but he often didn't, and when he would exist out of his office once in his adult life, he'd simply complain about the war or his enemies or his father or his brothers. if anything, more complaints slipped past his lips than a simple 'i love you'.

of course, you wondered if it was your fault, if you did something that turned him off from you, made him shut you out. yet you also wondered if he found you to be a bother, or something that only held him back. granted it was known he was a bit older than you, it didn't really matter but maybe it finally got to him. where he internalized it and thought it would lessen his chances of being elected or keeping office for the country of L'manburg. you thought it was stupid, but it wasn't so out of the picture.

the day started out like most others, you'd tend to yourself, eating and showering and doing something to keep your mind at peace. often baking or crafting, or going out to the flower fields to check on what has newly grown. you began to get restless, hearing wilbur from upstairs. he's pacing and mumbling to himself. most likely frustrated with something new, something he must be writing. something with lmanburg. something that has nothing to do with you.

but you want to mend things, you want to heal things or at least build a temporary bridge between the two of you. you're desperate for closeness again, and while you'd never admit it to him; you could never love another like he. you simply couldn't find the same type or amount of love in your heart for another person. another insane man like him.

so, you set out to pick a bouquet of his favorite flowers, pruning them and putting them in a vase you both made together early on in your relationship. you filled it with water and sugar, placing the cut flowers in the vase and tying a ribbon around the glass and making a bow before starting your trip up the stairs and into his office. you sigh softly before knocking on the door.

you hear shuffling for a moment, drawers opening and the sound of paper rustling before wilbur sighs deeply, "come in, love."

you open the door, stepping in and closing it behind you, his face held in his hands on his desk. he lifts his gaze to catch on you as you set the flowers on his desk. his gaze softens on you, almost sad and mournful and you can't quite place why.

a sour, sad smile curves on his lips, "what are those, dear?" he pats his thigh, beckoning you to him. he hasn't done that in months--but you'd be a fool to decline, so you quickly run over, sliding into his lap and resting against his chest.

"flowers for you," you sigh, nestling your nose against his neck, his hands coming up behind your head to rub at your hair.

"why, baby?" his voice cracks softly and he leans his face down to your cheek, kissing the soft skin before nuzzling his nose against the shell of your ear.

"a reminder that you can't throw me away," it comes out as more of a whine than you would have liked it to, but as always, you become vulnerable around him. there isn't much you can hide.

he's silent, his body tensing up at your words as he combs his fingers through your hair. his breath shakes, but he hides any emotion he must be feeling too well for you to pick it out.

"I haven't thrown you away. you're my baby, yes?" he croons softly, his lips ghosting over your temple and cheek, placing kisses as a silent truce.

"then why do I never see you?" you huff, pulling your body closer to his as a way to soak in the attention. or to receive comfort. you are his baby, but you aren't strong enough to admit it.

"I'm busy, that's all, love. I'm here now, aren't I?" he sucks in a breath after he speaks, hands now both in your hair and on your back, trying to give you that comfort you seek.

"you should come to bed earlier tonight. just.. I want you to be around me, for once."

you can tell he takes a moment to think, gears turning in his skull as his fingers trace on your back, ghosting over the skin.

"I can try," he breathes softly, his face in your hair, and his hand held on the back of your head.

"do you promise, wilbur?" you whisper, pressing your hands into his back.

"I promise," he kisses your forehead, holding your face in his hands as he keeps you in front of him, "I have some more work to do, I'll see you later, okay?"

he brushes stray strands of hair out of your face before placing a few kisses around your face, landing a final sweet kiss to your lips.

"okay, okay," you whisper, like a promise to yourself as you step out of his lap, walking to the door and standing there for a moment before turning to face him.

"enjoy the flowers. i love you, okay?" you smile softly, and he meets your eyes, an apology held in his irises that you can't quite register fully.

"I love you too. i will, I always do," he smiles sweetly, waving at you as you leave his office and head downstairs. you're partly thankful he has work for a bit more, you had plans of going to nikis bakery to pick up a few pastries for the two of you to share and your hope is that he'll be done by the time you're back. so you slip on your shoes and take the walk towards town square. it's nice today, the leaves are falling all ready to crunch under the feet of L'manburg's citizens. the wind brushes your cheeks, chilling the skin and bringing that familiar fall redness.

you always enjoyed fall walks, and it always brought you joy but the prospect of spending time with wilbur this evening put an extra pep in your step. you wave at any familiar face, smiling softly and greeting all of the sellers at their booths. you don't notice your sister not being at her flower shop, or Tommy not tending his fireworks stand in front of it. you don't notice many of the things that are painfully off about the day, your happiness clouding your judgement.

you quickly slip into nikis bakery, looking down at the case of the daily pastry specials, before choosing two of her cinnamon cookies and two of her pain au chocolat. they're both yours and wil's favorite, and while you'd adore sharing, wilbur is often possessive with his sweets. so it's best to get two of each.

you smile to yourself as Niki packages each pastry and she giggles at your happy demeanor.

"feeling extra peppy today, huh?" she smiles, ringing up the pastries and asking for payment. you pay quickly while nodding, smiling so wide and happy.

"yeah, I finally got Wilbur to agree to come to bed early. so I have plans for a bit of a date night. i just hope he sticks to his promises," you grin, taking the pastries gratefully into your hands.

"he sticks to his promises, when it comes to you. I have a good feeling," she nods as she speaks, a few moments later you both bid your farewells to one another; fully knowing you'll be back for a bread order on Sunday.

you took the long walk home, wanting to take in more of the nature around you, and to give wil some extra time to work. you knew he'd go over what he promised, but you hoped he'd pay his promise due.

plus, the scenic route was always more enjoyable. so the longer way will do, the flower fields grazing your ankles. the sun setting gently, casting a golden hue across the land, the soft shadows of buildings and trees painted on the grass. it was beautiful, almost like you were walking through a painting.

you finally made it home, opening the door and shutting it behind you. not noticing wil's work boots being gone from their spot on the rack. you giggled as you held the pastries in your hand, calling out for Wilbur.

"Wil? my love! i have sweets from Niki!" you hurried up the stairs, peeking into the bedroom before looking over the banister at the downstairs; nothing. you hum, walking over to his office, opening the door to still find anything but him.

you frown, "wilbur?" you call again, turning to walk out before your eyes catch on his desk, the now empty vase held on the desk without a flower in sight.

you looked closer, there on his desk laid a note and a rose from the bouquet you put there the same morning. you opened the note after a moments hesitation and you skimmed the words, eyes widening and tears falling as the message set in your mind.

'my darling,

you'll always be my baby.

yet, there's more for me, just not here.

- yours, wilbur.'

you dropped the pastries, and then the letter, slumping into his desk before shuffling through every single drawer and pile of papers. tears cascading down your cheeks.

"no, no, no, no-" you try desperately to convince yourself or a cruel joke, searching for more answers somewhere in his desk. it must be here, mustn't it? he was always one for dramatics so surely there's another secret note.

you spend the next hour tearing through his desk, tearing apart his office before you admit defeat. laying your head on his desk and letting yourself crack, you let it all out. tears and sobs and cries and screams bounce against the bookshelves that line the walls of his office.

there's a knock at the door, and after a moment of contemplation, you dazedly take the stairs down to the foyer, opening the door and being greeted by Phil. by Wil's father.

"Phil?" you start, ready to ask if he's here to tell you where wil is, that it's some sick joke he'll apologize for and never pull again-

"you know, don't you?" he pauses, avoiding your gaze, "we found his body, he left this for you."

he hands you an envelope and you take it, nodding to him as he speaks soft words of condolences and a goodbye. you shut the door, letting yourself fall against it as you stare at the folded envelope, wondering if it's worth the trouble to open.

what more could he possibly say?

but also, what more could it hurt?

you open it gingerly, sighing softly as you sniffle, wiping your eyes gently.

as you unfold the letter, out comes a wedding band, tied by string to another ring.

the ring you told him you wanted as your wedding band.

it clatters to the floor and you break again, letting out loud, pained sobs as you cry and shake on the floor, eyes unable to peel themselves from the rings that now lay on the hardwood below.

the note falls beside the metal rings, a simple phrase scratched into the parchment; 'in another life, my baby'

you want to burn it, to scream and curse the universe.

but then you wonder how much trouble it'd be to join him.

taglist; @lcvejoy @lillylvjy @ella-fella-bo-bella @lotusanonymouse @willgoldszn @whos-nicooo @zebonos

[t0ast-ghost]

You know this has got me in a pretty deep (Obsession) which is the name of S2 episode 13 of Star Trek tos.

Better luck next time on that opening:

- Kirk’s on edge…

- Star Trek horror episode when?

- is this inspiration for when Doctor Crusher fucks a ghost

- god I love Chapel

- Hot new redshirt is probably the shapeshifter (edit: this is just wrong)

- The fucking gas is sneaking up on ‘em. Of all the things to die to it’s the vampire gas

- Kirk’s boyfriends both think that they should leave and deliver the supplies. Two versus one AND it’s the two that always fight against their favourite idiot

- Kirk ignoring both McCoy AND Spock is not a good sign

- The chief security guy dramatically flopping on his bed is so relatable bbygirl

- Kirk getting paranoid about his bridge crew “conspiring” is like. haven’t you learned trust? Haven’t you learned love? I guess he’s still a soldier at heart or smt

- “I hope I’m not disturbing you, Doctor.” “Interrupting another autopsy report is no disturbance, Mr. Spock. It’s a relief” I just remembered that they’re married and in love

- Spock outright asking McCoy for his advice/opinion is like. YEAH he respects you, he has his own beliefs and ideals but he wants to hear from you! And when he’s worried about your (boy)friend he wants you to be on the same page as him. He wants you to validate his thoughts.

- whatever the fuck this is

- “Mind if I come in?” McCoy you shouldn’t be able to just enter people’s quarters like that. Can’t you see he’s writing his diary and listening to Mitski in bed?

- Oh my Bones pulling out the big guns.. AND SPOCK. Oh they really were conspiring. You know if they worked together like this more often, they could literally do anything. Like kiss.

- Genuinely unsure if the gas is intelligent or not. I like the mystery of this one.

- “Jim, we’re not trying to gang up on you.” They are though and it’s probably for the best

- Love how the entire bridge crew is just like “this isn’t healthy. Kirk, this is concerning behaviour.”

- OH WOW Kirk came so close to blowing up his own ship

- “Self pity’s a terrible first course, how about you try the soup.” Christine Chapel is literally the best. She also knows how to make threats, not even McCoy knows about (I love how terrifying the medical department is)

- I want a pair of those slutty boots

- McCoy is fucking furious

- “I’m sorry, Jim. I was wrong.” McCoy in short sleeves <3

- Spock genuinely trying to comfort Kirk cause he has an unhealthy obsession with the creature and Kirk dismissing it

- Spock then trying to comfort the ensign

- He breaks the vent controls with his strength then tries to COVER IT WITH HIS HANDS. Spock, babygirl, that is not logical

- “Don’t misunderstand my next question. Mr. Spock, why aren’t you dead?” Happy to see you too, Jim

- “Bet he left a bad taste in the creatures mouth.” “Colloquially expressed, but essentially correct.” That is a fucking banger line

- KIRK HEALING ARC

- Spock and Bones at odds once again

- Of course Kirk is gonna be self sacrificial and Spock is going to try and self sacrifice himself.. admittedly Spock had the more logical thought process

- HE FUCKIN KARATE CHOPPED HIS NECK . WHAT THE HECK NEW GUY?!?

- I’d love if I lived on the enterprise and got little updates through the comms by Chekov “stand by for shockwaves.” Of course thank you :))

- Spock is like “I’m to thank, not god, thank me Jim.”

- Kirk healing <3

Better episode than I thought it would be :)

Masterpost

Episode written by Art Wallace

[dustfeel]

Lɪǫᴜɪᴅ Sᴍᴏᴏᴛʜ

"I'm beautiful, I know 'cause it's the season

But what am I to do with all this beauty?

Biology, I am an organism"

— ★ —

You're beautiful, really beautiful, but is that what you only are? Why everyone never comment on your talents, your effort, your intelligence, your aspirations or personality, only reducing you to a pretty face? You're a human, a breathing and feeling human, with a heart and veins like anyone, but not to others it seems.

No one praises you for anything else you do or are, and even if in the start it bothered you, after a while you get so used to it by now, you start to comform, turning being beautiful your only purpose. It's what people want, right?

Let the people touch, take pictures, take advantage of you, you'll accept it mouth shutted believing it's what you deserve. No matter how mental breaking, how tiring it is to pretend (are you really pretending?) being someone you're not, you're now becoming that person.

They love you because you have a smooth face and a young body, but you're not gonna be young and beautiful like that forever and you know it. One day, you'll be older, and when that time comes, you ask yourself if there will be someone who loves you despite that.

You hope the answer is a yes, despite the signs showing it's a no. So, until that tragic days comes to happen, you'll get the most of it. The attention feels good, like a rushing feeling through your body, and it's not like you'll get anything better. You better just set with it then.

— ★ —

@littledr3am3r

Thank you so much for your request ★ I was editing it and accidentally lost my whole post and your request (luck that I had it screenshoted) :( Anyways, this song was very fun to write because there's hidden points in the obvious meanings! This is my view on it's meaning, of course, and feel very welcome to share your opinion too because I'd love to hear it <3

[cas-backwards-tie]

I was tagged by: @miss-rori for a music tag game! Six songs you've been listening to on repeat. I've been listening to songs on Soundcloud more this year and these are just some the past day or so I've been listening to on repeat. ❤️ Of course, knowing me, I had to link them and add a little description as to why... so I put a tab so it wouldn't take up so much space in case anyone didn't want a huge post on their page.

But, I'd love to tag some people as well that I'd be curious to see what their tastes are or what they've been listening to if they're up to it! If not, no pressure of course. (And if you want to do it anyway and tag me, always feel free to do that too! I'll always respond): @penelopepine , @yesimwriting , @capinejghafa , @soapsgf , @clydesducktape , @hollandwhore

i. Ride (Barresto Remix) ~ Lana Del Rey

(Classic. I have the edit versions in my 'yearning' playlist bc they just... fill me with life. hard to explain.)

ii. Rock$tar {feat. 21 Savage} ~Post Malone

(I never knew the singer till two days ago when I looked up the whole version vs. the edit version I usually have in my 'Likes')

iii. I Bet On Losing Dogs ~ Mitski

(was stuck in my head last night from TT, and had to look up the name from the sound. Found this version so far. I liked the slowed version and muffled version tbh)

iv. One For The Road ~ Arctic Monkeys

(This one is speed up I guess for copyright reasons, but I love this song and not just bc they're my fave band. but I cannot try and air drum to this when it comes on.)

v. Fortress ~ Illenium

(Again, another song on my 'yearning' playlist. the first, in fact, bc this is one of the two songs that first inspired me to create a playlist that screams 'love'. true love. will always be the Scallison song for me bc of that one edit.) [fyi this is an edit audio. if you want the whole song, here's a link!]

vi. Cardigan ~ Taylor Swift

(bc of my most recent fic , obviously, but also just because it's a great song. It's also in my 'yearning' playlist. I kept looking for this version bc this is the one that I originally believed the creator had to delete or private bc T-swift's team tried to ban bc it's so good that more people listen to it than the original on the platform, so he had to change the pic and his username. but now it's unprivated and i'm literally thriving. Had to search and search for it again bc I knew it was still on my profile somewhere.)

[ataraxiaspainting]

F A Q.

masterlist: it's in the works but not at the moment!

posting days: i'm trying to work on a more stable posting schedule for stories but i will most likely be answering inbox messages on tuesdays, fridays, saturdays, and sundays! mostly saturdays though.

tagging: feel free to tag me in anything! as long as the post in question does not do harm to me or others, of course.

writing history: ever since i was little, i've pretty much always had a love for making up stories and saving them on my laptop. i got into x reader works when i was in middle school i think... still am just as much into them now as i was back then.

art history: i've always loved to draw/sculpt too! i may not be the best at making art myself, but i have always loved looking at other people's works, especially paintings. my current pfp is actually a painting of ophelia from shakespeare's hamlet, done by alexandre cabanel.

music taste: i really only listen to classical and k-pop/j-pop, along with game osts. though my queen mitski breaks her way into my on repeat playlist multiple times a day. my favorite songs from her are buffalo replaced, i bet on losing dogs, i will, francis forever, my love mine all mine, i want you, stay soft, class of 2013, townie and last words of a shooting star. non-mitski songs are often either by red velvet, twice, king gnu, or kenshi yonezu.

book recommendations: i read a lot on days i'm not so busy, mostly reading thriller/horror stories. my main recommendations are notes from the underground by fyodor dostoevsky, i have no mouth, and i must scream by harlan elison, the cask of amontillado by edgar allan poe, the stranger by albert camus, the metamorphosis by franz kafka, uzumaki by junji ito, the talented mr. ripley by patricia highsmith, the collector by john fowles, misery by stephen king, coraline by neil gaiman.

favorite tropes: lovers to enemies, enemies to lovers, the reluctant hero, paying the price for victory, the mysterious neighbor next door, a deal with the devil, the unhappy ending, cults and religious extremists, mysterious things are happening, seducing an archenemy for an opportunity.

other fun facts:

-> i'm a criminology major.

-> i played a lot of instruments and sang a lot when i was younger. i'm trying to get back into it now. my favorite instrument to play was the electric violin and my favorite type of music to sing was choir-like osts like mourning from nier automata, lacrimosa from the one and only mozart, and song of the ancients from nier replicant.

-> i'm a huge animal lover. i often watch streams of horror movies, listen to video essays, or write while snuggling up with one of my dogs. i also often volunteer in community service, with most of it being either being at a shelter/adoption event or some sort of event involving a fundraiser in schools. i once happened to do an adoption event that happened to be fundraising more resources for schoolchildren, and it was one of the best moments of my life. got to pet a lot of animals too, and that made the time like ten times better.

CURRENT ANONS -> childe anon

this post will be edited/added to as life goes on.

[autocann1bal]

part four of my playlist analysis!!

part 1 &lt;- part 2 &lt;- part 3 <- back into the soup we dive

somewhere only we know - keane lockwood takes them to a special spot and they have a nice picnic on a hill and cuddle on a picnic blanket <3 we're ignoring how sad the song actually is <33.

brooklyn baby - lana del rey oh please lockwood is so brooklyn baby by lana del rey you cant tell me hes not hes a posh little london boy and lucy's a girl who grew up in a rural town in the north theyre so brooklyn baby.

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex we're ignoring the sexual aspect of this song entirely <3 anyway theyre wandering around a park just before the sunset, just being silly and cute <333. like real people do - hozier look i know we've had plenty of locklyle sleepy morning and sleepy nights but this one is DIFFERENT OK. they wake up in lockwoods bed after a rough night of panic attacks from both of them, they fell asleep in eachothers arms. lucy tries to get up without disturbing him and he, still asleep, holds her tighter and kisses her forehead. she stays till he wakes up and they kiss <333 domesticity my beloved. its called: freefall - rainbow kitten surprise george and lucy talking methinks. it just feels like a serious conversation between them. my kind of woman - mac demarco lockwood just heart-eyes-ing at lucy while she files papers in the basement or smth idk just lockwood pathetic simp mode, as usual <33. i was all over her - salvia palth lmao lockwood hopeless simp time but sad edition. the way he looks at her, like shes all hes ever wanted, all he ever will want, but the knowledge that she may never be his. this gets even worse after she starts helping him with his panic attacks, he feels like hes using her. francis forever - mitski lockwood, alone in his room, every night after lucy left. he cant get her out of his head and hes to afraid to ask george for help, for fear george will tell him to suck it up and move on (which of course would never happen). those where some rough nights for lockwood. the beer - kimya dawson lucy breakdown song (real) (not clickbait) (im definitely not writing this instead of my essay waht are you talking about) i want you - mitski lucy, longing for lockwood more than anything, but shes so deathly afraid that holly is replacing her. diet mountain dew - lana del rey ok it doesnt. really fit their dynamic i dont think but it just sounds so right ykwim? good looking - suki waterhouse hes her good looking boy!!! this song is so them just read the lyrics <33. 4 morant - doja cat erm. uhm. haha. i mean. yea. erm. so. hee hee. lockwood vibes. harness your hopes - b-side - pavement that whole 'hold me just like the morning paper' line is so simp-y lockwood <3333. dirty night clowns - chris garneau different. vibe from the last song uhhh. do i have to explain. move me - half.alive THEY ARE SO HALF.ALIVE I CANT EXPLAIN IT ITS JUST THEM. i mean the literal first line of this song is 'i never told, you never asked' which is quite literally them in episode 6 so. i wanna be yours - arctic monkeys just lockwood being a simp again and who can blame him lucy is so <333. britrock - mccafferty uh oh more mccafferty time. this song is just so lucy i dont know why it just is im sorry. im not sorry. after dark - mr. kitty sad vibes. theyre both in the dark just lying together in lockwoods bed. not even talking just together. thinking. ill call you mine - girl in red do i have a personal vendetta against this song?? yes. will it stop me from using it for Them TM?? absolutely not. cute domestic roadtrip vibes fight me. i want to be with you - chloe moriondo this one is self explanatory. bedroom ghost - flower face oops different vibe. lucy shower breakdown? no, lockwood shower breakdown :sunglasses:. privately owned spiral galaxy - crywank (specifically the lovejoy cover tho) mmm lockwood thinking alone in his room song methinks. christ alright, part 5 ig im so sorry this is so long i feel so bad dfhgfkjg

[genshinimpactlife]

Hello! This is my first time requesting a match-up, so please do correct me if I go over the rules :] anyway, I'd like a matchup (obv) with kaeya!

(So I'm quite literally him, he's my highest kin and I thought it'd be fun to see how two very alike people would work together, lol)

My mbti is entp, though I'm more of a socially competent introvert. I have only a few friends that I'm not that close with and due to not being anyone's favorite friend, I'm always left out.

I'm a cat person and often myself described as a black cat. I'm quite funny, witty even, which could be counted as my best trait. I'm really interested in psychology and even planning on pursuing it in uni; Best reasoning could be past trauma and ppl around me that have made me mature too early, resulting into me always wanting to know the unknown, the higher meaning of life and humans.

Hmm also I really like color crimson/blood red? Not sure what this can indicate but yeah. Idk if you care abt astrology either, however I'm a capricorn sun (and a stellium), gemini moon and a pisces asc. Also I listen to a lot of MARINA, chase atlantic, melanie, the nbhd, arctic monkeys, poppy, nirvana, mitski, etc cuz im lazy to check atp lol

Body wise, I'm a bit on the healthy-chubby build, 5'6 with avg proportions. I recently cut my hair into a short mullet and got a more androgynous style, since I'm transitioning as a genderfluid person. Hence, I use any pronouns, though a female anatomy included would be better.

Oh, and both sfw and nsfw are welcome! :) do what seems right to you HAHAH 😭😭

Have a great day/night, whenever you received this lmao 💞

P.S can I be 🫐 anon? Hehe

P.P.S im SO SORRY if this was too long. I had no clue what I was typing genuinely

Matchup With Kaeya

Before the two of you started dating, Kaeya always included you if he saw you alone, and you quickly became his favorite.

He adores your witty personality. The two of you go back and forth all the time.

He helps bring out the more childish and fun side after having to mature much younger than most.

He likes to buy you blood-red outfits and accessories since you love the color so much.

He would 100% support you transitioning to genderfluid and would even do research to make sure he fully understood what it meant.

You two have the same music taste. So anytime you two are alone, you have music playing in the background.

He would support you in going to university to pursue your dreams. He would stay up and help you study the night before a big test.

Of course you can be 🫐!! I'm very excited for another anon. Your totally fine by the way, but just to let you know most of the time a matchup means that the person will take your information and match you with someone, just in case you ask someone else too <3 I don't mind if someone has a character picked out already, but I've just never had that happen before lol. Also if you would like some NSFW I do need some NSFW information. If you would like to send it in, I can always come back and edit this post with it for you <3

I hope to hear from you again soon 🫐

[thran-duils]

Wanna Bite You Up

Title: Wanna Bite You Up Summary: One-shot fic to inject the idea of vampire Bucky and vampire Steve. Bratty Reader isn’t as well behaved as Bucky wants. Pairing: Dark Vamp!Bucky x Vamp!Reader, mention of Dark Vamp!Steve x Vamp!Reader Words: 1,041 Warnings (more may be added): (mention of) Dub-con Author’s Notes: Songs that inspired this are “Gone” by Sierra, “Dracula (Main Edit)” by Basement Jaxx, “Cop Car” by Mitski, and “Boring” by Lil Mariko.

Masterpost (Mobile)

Your phone was buzzing again, and you almost rolled your eyes. You could hear it in your purse – goddamn your sensitive hearing – a couple feet away. And you heard the song ringing. It was Bucky’s. He was surely wondering where the hell you had gone off to.

You had told him you were going to go grab him a drink. The bar at your regular spot was vamp. The blood was straight forward, and Bucky loved his A-. It was your type before he had turned you. Your skin, sweat, and of course blood was still tinged with it. It always would be and would keep him anchored.

The man – someone begging to be a familiar – brought his drink up to his lips, drawing your attention away from the phone in your purse. You saw the shake in his hand. He was trying so hard to be calm, but it was not hiding it from your keen eyes. He downed it in one swoop. You almost groaned. You had hoped to not poison his blood with anything, but he was a newbie. They always required drink being in the club even just mingling.

You were going to make sure he was as pure as he could be after that.

Your fingers wrapped around the glass, and you pulled it from his grasp. You frowned, peering into the empty glass.

“You didn’t save me any?’ you pouted.

He stammered, “I-I could go back to the bar—”

You tossed the glass over your shoulder, not hearing it shatter over the music. He looked out of sorts that you had done it, but your fingers traced his jaw, turning his head back towards you.

“No need,” you practically purred, fingers caressing gently. He was caught in your line of sight. You could see the clouds starting to swim. You were holding him captivated in a semi hypnotized state now. The alcohol was only going to amplify your ability to do so, so maybe you should thank him for indulging.

You swung your leg over him and straddled him. His hands found home at your hips, and he squeezed, not breaking eye contact. Dipping down, your lips caught his and you kissed deeply. The temptation to bite down and draw blood from his lips was encroaching but you kept it at bay, thinking of how happy Bucky would be that you brought him a snack.

He was hard against your leg, and you reached between the two of you, palming him through his pants. His breath hitched and you pulled away to reach his belt buckle more easily. He did not protest as you freed him from his pants and slid your romper to the side to expose your pussy. You brought his hand to you and he followed lead, slipping his fingers in to work you up.

“I thought you said you had a Master…?” he said, lips brushing against yours in passion.

“And?” you challenged.

“Aren’t they gonna—”

You cut him off by pushing his hand away and sliding down onto his dick. He groaned deep and rested his head back.

<><><>

“Where have you been?” Bucky demanded as soon as he caught sight of you. He had been staring in your direction clearly as he sensed you coming close.

You did not answer him verbally. You jutted your lip, pouting before skirting around the shin high table, ignoring the looks from the rest of your nest sitting around, and coming in front of him. You crawled into his lap, and his jaw ticked, resistant to your charm. Ignoring that, you wrapped your hands around his neck and stared into his eyes.

“Master, I found a friend.”

His eyes flashed dangerously, and he sneered, “I smell it.”

You knew he meant the scent of the human but also the fact he absolutely knew you had fucked them. You tried to play dumb about the latter, only focusing on the former. “And you’re still mad? I brought him here.”

“Yes.”

“Why?” you whined.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“I was busy.”

You yelped as Bucky’s arm wrapped around you, pinning you against him quickly. Your noses were practically touching as he snarled, fangs bared, “You wait until we get home! You answer me when I call! You don’t go wandering off! You don’t fuck humans! I don’t like the goddamn games you play just to get me riled up!”

Swallowing you asked testing boundaries, “Are you terribly mad at me, Master?”

Bucky stared at you, eyes wild. You grinded against him and he lowered his chin, eyes locked with yours.

“He’s A-…” you tried.

A few beats went by before he sneered, “You are not leaving the house for a month!”

“That’s not fair!” you protested. You planted your hands on his shoulders and tried to push away from him, wanting to storm away. You had done this for him! And he was going to punish you for it?

Bucky’s hands slid up the legs of your romper and you tried to shimmy away. But he picked you up, his metal hand cold on your bare skin. Even after turning, you still felt it. The nest member that had been sitting to the side of him had moved quickly in the time it took for him to turn around and pin you to the cushion.

“Don’t you dare try to get away from me. I’m gonna need to work my appetite up to really enjoy that meal you got me, my sweet. And I hope this teaches you to not allow anyone inside you that isn’t vamp! You don’t taint your body for anything!”

His grip laxed on your lower back suddenly but he was still pining you to the couch, legs locked tight around your hips.

You tensed up the moment you heard a voice over the music that you did not expect to hear again since he had gone into hiding. But he was still clearly very much leading the nest and Bucky was still underneath his command.

“Buck…” A large hand gripped your throat and forced your head up. His beard brushed your jawline as he growled, “Let me teach the harlot a lesson you clearly haven’t let sink in.”

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21​​​ @undecidedsworld​​​ @holl2712​​​ @agustdowney​​​  @biiskuitx​​​ @buttercupfangirl​​​​ @namjoonwatcheshentai​​​​ @kaylamcd2000​​​​ @damntonystarkandhissmile​​​​ @aditimukul​

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 7 - zuko x fem!reader

I think my ways are wearing me down

part 6 | masterlist | part 8

a/n: as said very astutely in my outline, "y/n just keeps taking L's"

i actually had to take breaks while writing the final scene and watching the episode LMAo i forgot how fucking sad this scene was!!

warning(s): you know what happens in this chapter. its siege of the north part 2. its so much more angst like SO MUCH ANGST. im so sorry i got so sad while writing this

wc: 4.0k

chapter title comes from brand new city by mitski!

Y/N adjusted her hold on the basket of clothes as she knocked on the door with her free hand, pushing it open after waiting a few moments.

“Prince Zuko?” she called in a whisper. They had gotten past the point of formalities, but it was a precaution she opted to take when they met like this. She spotted him sitting on his bed and he gave her a thumbs up, a sign she took to mean they were in the clear. Y/N closed the door behind her and bounded over, then set the basket on his bed.

“Alright. I brought you the book that you wanted to borrow.” She unearthed the novel from the pile of clothes with caution, taking care to not ruin the hard work that went into folding all of them. “I had to hide it so I could get in here — no one thinks anything of a servant bringing clothes around, but books are a little more suspicious. But here you go! My very own edition of ‘Keiko and the Koalaotter’.”

“Thank you!” The prince grinned as he took the book and examined the cover. “I’ve always been curious about Water Tribe culture, even more after you started teaching me about it. They don’t really tell us about it in our classes.”

“It’s not really accurate to actual Water Tribe stuff, but it is cute,” she laughed. “I remember begging my parents for a koalaotter for weeks after I finished it. They told me that there was no way to get one all the way in the Earth Kingdom, but I never listened to them.”

“Oh, that reminds me!” His eyes lit up as he ran over to the windowsill. “I got you a gift too!”

“Zuko, really? You shouldn’t have.”

“Well, I did. So don’t even think about not accepting it,” he joked. He picked something up from a vase and bounded back over, doing as good a job of hiding the flowers behind his back as his excited grin.

“What is it?” she questioned.

“They’re silver wisterias!” he exclaimed as he presented the bouquet. “They grow in the palace gardens. They’re really pretty, and so are you, and I know how much you love the gardens, so I thought you’d like it.”

She felt her cheeks heat up when she accepted the gift, twirling the stem in her fingers as she inhaled its sweet scent with a smile. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Zuko. Thank you.”

“Of course! You could wear one in your hair, pin one onto your uniform, put them in your room, whatever you want.”

As she carefully ran her fingers over the petals, she couldn’t stop the nagging question at the back of her mind from escaping.

“Why are you so nice to me?” she blurted out, causing Zuko’s brows to furrow in confusion.

“Because you’re my friend. Friends are nice to each other.”

“I know, but why are we friends?” she pushed. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”

He pondered the question for a moment before he answered. “Well.. you don’t treat me like everyone else. I’m the prince, so everyone here has to do what I want and be nice to me. But you’re not like that. When it’s just the two of us, you treat me like anyone else, and I like that — I know that you always mean what you say, so when you’re nice to me I know it’s because you like me, not because you have to be. Why do you do that?” the prince asked as he turned the tables. “You know that you could get in trouble for talking to me like this, but you still do it. Why?”

She punched him playfully on the shoulder and giggled. “Someone’s gotta keep you humble.”

His cheeks flushed a bright red as he rubbed his arm shyly. “I’m really glad we’re friends. Sometimes it feels like you’re my only one in this whole nation.”

“So am I,” she beamed. “Always and forever, right?”

“Right.”

-

Y/N’s eyes snapped open and she gasped, immediately whipping her head around frantically to see if the Avatar was still there, but Katara shook her head.

“He’s gone,” Katara said miserably, confirming her suspicions. “I woke up a few minutes before you and I checked everywhere.”

“Great,” she muttered. She rubbed the back of her head and winced — she had a feeling she would be plagued by headaches for at least the next couple of days.

“So…” Katara began. “You and Zuko both recognized each other. He— he said he thought that you were dead.”

Y/N pursed her lips, wondering how to start that story, when Sokka and Yue burst into the oasis on Appa.

“What happened?” he questioned. “Where’s Zuko?”

“He took Aang,” Katara mourned. “He took him right out from under me.”

“It’s not your fault, Katara,” Y/N insisted. “It really looks like he’s improved since… since last time.”

“‘Last time’?” Sokka asked, prompting a sigh from Y/N. She looked to Yue for help, and the princess nodded supportively.

“We have… history.” She looked at her hands for a moment before continuing. “I’m not from the Northern Water Tribe. My mother is, but I was born in a small village in the Earth Kingdom. I told you that my village was invaded, Katara, but after it, my mother and I were captured for being waterbenders, and they took us to the Fire Nation to work as healers and servants in the palace.”

“I became friends with Zuko there. He was nothing like you saw today, or like anything you know from the past. He was kind, and caring, and passionate, and he made my dismal life a little bit brighter. And… we ended up falling for each other.”

“We went too far, the Fire Lord found out, and— well, he was going to kill me. My mother managed to get me out, but she stayed behind, and I haven’t seen her since that night. I haven’t seen Zuko since that night. I always held hope that I would find my way back and see them both again, but now that Zuko is like… like that?” She bit down on her lip and shook her head.

“Now I don’t know what to think. He’s completely different than anything I knew, than the boy that I fell in love with. And I can’t help but think about what happened to my mother if that is what happened to Zuko.” And I can’t help but think that it’s my fault for not being there for him.

A collective silence hung in the air for just a moment before Sokka broke it. “You had a thing with Zuko?”

Y/N let out a surprised laugh as Katara hit him on the shoulder. “Sokka, now is not the time!”

“No,” she chuckled. “No, it’s alright. It’s a lot, I know. It’s just… impossible. That the Zuko I knew turned into someone like this. I mean, you saw, Katara— he didn’t even hesitate to try and hurt me.”

Katara pulled her into a warm embrace before separating and looking her in the eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N, for all that you’ve been through. And I know that fighting against Zuko hurts, so if you can’t come after Aang with us then I completely understand—”

“No,” she said once more, something hardening in her eyes. “I’ll help you find Aang, it’s the least I can do. Besides, I… I have to see him again. I have to see him again to know that this is actually real, that— that this is actually who he is now.”

Katara nodded solemnly; Sokka had already started walking back to Appa with Yue. “Well, Zuko couldn’t have gotten far. We’ll find him — Aang’s gonna be fine.”

Katara looked back hopefully at Y/N and she met her eyes with a smile, though slightly strained, as she jogged to catch up with them. But as she climbed onto Appa with her fellow waterbender, the anger in his eyes was all she could see.

The boy she fought might’ve been the Fire Prince, but it was not her Zuko.

-

Cold.

That was all Zuko seemed to know as he trekked through the frozen tundra, the blizzard around him threatening to end him at any moment. No more had he despised the Water Tribes than he did in this moment, but the weight of the Avatar on his back and the promise of his honor was enough to push him onwards.

The only thing on his mind that he couldn’t shake was her.

Zuko thought she was dead, honestly and truly. Few were lucky enough to escape his father’s wrath once it was incurred upon them — Zuko himself wasn’t even an exception — and though he wanted nothing more than for her to be one of the few, he knew that she was dead. There was no other explanation.

For years, the waterbender had been a staple in his mind — a memory of a childhood love, of a better time. He thought about her when he fought against his soldiers on slow evenings on the ship, her words of encouragement and joking retorts echoing through his ears as he went through every form. He thought about her when he talked to his uncle, his attitude often mirroring hers. The morning of the Agni Kai, he almost turned to her for reassurance before remembering.

Spirits, Zuko thought about her every time he looked at the water. And even all these years after her disappearance, he was still plagued by nightmares of her fate.

He had resigned himself to mourning her. Zuko truly thought she was dead.

But there she was, in the flesh, with the Avatar and his friends. Breathing. Alive. His enemy.

How the fuck was he supposed to deal with that?

She was even more beautiful than he remembered, but it was obvious the years since her escape had weathered her. He noticed a certain emptiness in her eyes, the brightness from their childhood a distant memory. It was obvious she had grown — she carried a certain elegance that he didn’t remember, and her skill in waterbending had improved so much since the days of their sparring sessions.

It felt like he had betrayed her. The expression she wore after his first blast was like a physical weight, the guilt of broken promises heavy over his head when he struck the final blow. So familiar to their friendly fights, yet such a far cry.

But they weren’t kids anymore. She had changed, and so had he.

It had been years. Any feelings he still harbored for her didn’t matter anymore.

Zuko had a mission, and he was going to complete it no matter what.

-

The tundra was treacherous, the blizzard making it difficult to see anything at all. Y/N had taken to holding Yue’s hand, something the princess had offered when she had seen how restless her friend was, as well as gnawing on the bottom of her lip. She feared for both Zuko and Aang, and she could only hope that they would be able to find them before something happened to either of them.

“Don’t worry,” the princess reassured. “Prince Zuko can’t be getting too far in this weather.”

“I’m not worried they’ll get away in the blizzard,” Katara murmured. “I’m worried that they won’t.”

“They’re not gonna die in this blizzard,” Sokka said as he gripped the reins tighter. “If we know anything, it’s that Zuko never gives up.”

Y/N chuckled softly and nodded. “You’ve got that right.”

Yue gave her hand a squeeze and a small smile, a sentiment that Y/N returned as Sokka continued. “They’ll survive, and we’ll find them.”

It took a few more minutes of riding and searching, but eventually a bright blue light streaked through the air. Katara gasped and pointed up. “Look!” she exclaimed. “That’s gotta be Aang! Yip yip!”

Appa groaned once more and Sokka turned to follow the light — it had stopped in a small cove before glowing brilliantly then disappearing — and sure enough, Zuko and Aang were down in the snow.

“Appa!” he cheered as they landed, causing Zuko’s eyes to flick up too. Y/N met his gaze for just a moment before he broke it, throwing Aang to the side and easing into a bending stance as Katara slid off of Appa’s back.

“Here for a rematch?” Zuko challenged, the undeserved confidence he spoke with a glimpse of the past.

“Trust me, Zuko,” Katara countered as she raised her hands, “It’s not going to be much of a match.”

She blocked his fire blast then sent a current of snow at him, launching him up into the air on a frozen column before letting him fall to the ground and knocking him out. Y/N couldn’t help but wince, and as Sokka jumped down to free Aang, she slid down as well.

She ran over the pile of snow and bent it off of Zuko, then knelt down next to him and pulled off her glove. She put two fingers on his neck and confirmed what she already thought, but it was still a relief. He was alive, but he wouldn’t be for much longer if he stayed out here.

“What are you doing?” she heard Sokka yell. Y/N turned to find everyone back on Appa already, staring expectantly at her.

“We can’t leave him!” Y/N protested.

“Sure we can!” he countered. “Now come on, let’s go!”

“No,” she insisted, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead. It was ice cold. “If we leave him, he’ll die!”

“She’s right.” Aang airbended himself off of Appa and helped her pick up Zuko; Aang bringing himself and the prince back onto the bison with his element and Y/N climbing back up with a hand from Katara.

Sokka rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Yeah, this makes a lot of sense. Let’s bring the guy who’s constantly trying to kill us.”

Y/N ignored the remark and met Aang’s eyes, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’. He smiled and nodded, then grabbed the reins and took off.

As they flew through the sky, Y/N glanced down at Zuko. He looked so much more peaceful now than a few moments ago, his features relaxed rather than tense. It was strange seeing him like this after all these years; angry, scarred, changed. Nothing like the reunion she had imagined.

She bent some of the snow falling down into water and molded it over the cuts on his face, the element taking on a slight glow as she started to heal him.

“Oh, Zuko,” she murmured. “What happened in those four years?”

As if her concentration had broken, the water previously under her control lost both its shape and glow as it pooled on his face. She frowned and attempted to bend it off, but none of the usual power she felt at night was flowing through her veins.

It was at that moment that Y/N looked up and noticed her surroundings.

Everything was cloaked in a veil of red, a crimson moon their backdrop as they continued through the air. “My bending isn’t working,” Y/N muttered, earning a curious look from Katara.

And to make matters worse, Yue winced and held her head, Aang doing the same.

“Are you okay?” Sokka questioned as he reached out to comfort her.

“I feel faint,” she muttered, the effort it took not lost on Y/N.

“I feel it too.” Aang pressed his palm against the side of his head and grimaced as his gaze shifted upwards. “The Moon Spirit is in trouble.”

Y/N’s eyes widened immediately as they flicked towards Yue, the princess choosing not to meet them as she began to tell them all the story of her birth and how she owed the Moon Spirit her life. By the time she was done the Water Tribe siblings were staring at her with disbelief, but there was no time for questions as they flew into the Spirit Oasis.

The sight that awaited them shocked Y/N to her core. A Fire Nation admiral — one she recognized from all the years ago, yet unable to place a name — held a bag with one clenched fist, the other posing the unsaid threat.

“Don’t bother,” he spat in response to their fighting stances, the two words overflowing with unearned confidence. But as cocky as he may have been, it worked — he knew that they were rendered helpless when he held the possibility of a dying spirit against them.

“Zhao, don’t.” Aang dropped his staff and held his hands up in surrender, an action Y/N and the others mirrored.

Everything after that happened unbelievably quickly. After General Iroh — a man she knew as both the ruthless general that laid siege to Ba Sing Se for six hundred long days and Zuko’s surprisingly kind uncle — threatened the admiral with his own firebending, Y/N foolishly believed it to be the end once he let the fish back into the pond.

But any hopes of peace were dashed with the slice of firebending the admiral sent at Tui, plunging the world back into shades of grey just as quickly as it had returned.

“NO!”

A bloodcurdling scream rang in the air; Y/N thought whoever produced it must’ve been insane. It took her a moment to realize the strangled sound had come from her, and that Sokka’s grip on her arms was the only thing stopping her from foolishly throwing herself into the raging battle that had started.

Did the admiral not understand what he had just done? To attack any spirit was to inflict the rage of many others, to kill a spirit was to sign not only one's own death warrant, but those around him as well.

To kill the Moon Spirit meant to destroy waterbending as the world knew it. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to disrupt the balance of the world. To kill the Moon Spirit meant to kill Yue.

The admiral should’ve considered himself very lucky that her waterbending was gone. With it, Y/N knew she would’ve done something she would regret.

As soon as the flames of Iroh’s onslaught disappeared, Sokka’s grip loosened on her arms and she all but sprinted over to the pond. A choked sob fell from her lips when she saw the dead fish in the water, palpable horror in the air as the rest of the group joined her.

Not even Aang’s feat of merging with the Ocean Spirit could help — it might’ve saved the tribe from the attack on the Fire Nation, but it could do nothing for the dead spirit. Y/N watched on mournfully as Iroh placed Tui back into the pond, the mortal body of the fish laying there unmoving.

“It’s too late,” Katara lamented. “It’s dead.”

Iroh looked up and met Y/N’s eyes, recognition flashing through them for just a moment before they moved to Yue’s. The blue hues of her irises were even more striking than usual — they were the only sign of color in the world around them.

His own widened with surprise as he gestured at her. “You have been touched by the Moon Spirit. Some of its life is in you.”

Yue seemed to understand what he was saying as she raised her head, her features taking on a mask of stoicism. “Yes, you’re right. It gave me life… maybe I can give it back.”

It was as if lightning had struck Y/N, the way that fear was jolted into her heart. “No!” she cried at the same time as Sokka, a reprise of her earlier plea. “Yue, you can’t!”

“You don’t have to do that!” Sokka reached out for her hand but she wrenched it out of his grasp — nothing they could say was going to change her mind.

“It’s my duty.” The princess stated it so plainly, carving the letters on her headstone herself.

“I won’t let you!” Sokka insisted. “Your father told me to protect you.”

“Yue, your duty isn’t to die for your tribe!” Y/N cried. She couldn’t think, spirits she could barely breathe. She couldn’t go through this again. She couldn’t go through this again. “Please, there has to be another way!”

She smiled sadly at Y/N and shook her head. “This was what I was born to do.” The princess glanced at the pond then took a step forward, wrapping Y/N in the tightest hug she could muster. She pressed her lips against Y/N’s cheek in a feather light kiss before she pulled away and continued forward and placed her hands against the koi fish.

The fish began to glow, Yue closed her eyes, she collapsed into Sokka’s arms.

And that was it.

The color returned to the world, but Y/N was frozen in place. She couldn’t do anything to save her friend, the girl that she was pretty sure she loved, as she died in front of her. Her cheek was still burning from where Yue’s lips had touched, and she wanted to bottle that warmth because she knew that was the last time she would ever feel it.

The first tear to fall snapped her out of her paralysis as she fell to her knees next to Sokka, her body cradled in his arms as he mourned for a lost love. Y/N wanted to scream, she wanted to sob, she wanted to do anything to get this anger and sadness out but she could do nothing but stare, eyes wide and shimmering with unshed tears.

Her body slowly faded away, and Y/N could’ve laughed at the irony. Yue gave her life for the spirits and all they could leave them with was the fleeting memory.

The fish in Iroh’s hands began to glow and he placed it back in the water, and almost immediately it returned to its natural rhythm. The oasis took on the glow of the fish and it formed the cruelest joke of them all.

Princess Yue. She was ethereal, both her hair and white dress flowing down her back and a peaceful expression on her face. She was more beautiful than ever, and her voice echoed through the oasis as she spoke.

“I will always be with you, Y/N. Thank you for making me feel alive.” A small smile, much like the one she gave her just moments ago, played on her lips. “I love you.”

Y/N could do nothing but stare, awestruck and heartbroken, as she whispered something to Sokka and kissed him.

And then she was gone.

Her gaze was trained forward, tears spouting and falling down her cheeks, some dim part of her still hoping that it was just a cruel joke by the spirits. She couldn’t go through this again.

How could they do this to her again? How could they introduce a light into her life and make her fall in love, then wrench it away from her grasp? She felt selfish for only caring about herself. She couldn’t go through this again.

Yue was gone.

She couldn’t go through this again.

Another strangled sob fell from her lips and Katara pulled her into a hug. That simple motion seemed to open to the floodgates, and suddenly she was choking on her own tears. Katara’s arms around her were the only tether she had to the world right now, she had to focus on it or else she would lose herself to the grief.

It felt like the minutes were hours with how long it took until Y/N was finally able to walk out of the oasis, but Katara and Sokka stayed by her side the entire time. When they finally stumbled out into the real world, Y/N felt weaker than ever. The constant go go go of the siege had finally caught up to her, and she was so damn tired.

“Always and forever.”

“You’re stuck with me.”

She was losing hope in promises.

-

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

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atla: @marianne1806

[koulia]

𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔..

◈ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 — keisuke baji

◈ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — !! VALHALLA ARC SPOILERS !! DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR THE MANGA ,, major character death , angst for tha soul <3

◈ 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓 — one shot , gn!reader

◈ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 — angst

◈ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — did i have to make this? no. did i want to? yes <3 the title would make more sense if u listen to i want you - mitski btw

it was the day of the fight between valhalla and toman, everybody had been preparing for it, mentally and physically.

you had invited baji over to your house a few minutes before it began, wishing to see him if anything happens; your gut feeling insisted to cherish this moment.

“i love you, baji.” you said, watching him strap his boots up.

“i love you too, but why’re you saying that outta nowhere?” he asks, the corners of his lips quirking up

you fiddled with your fingers, adjusting the promise ring he gave you 2 weeks ago, “just in case something bad happens. i want you to come home in one piece.”

“of course i’ll come home, i promise!” baji smiled, showing his fangs.

he wraps you into a hug, rocking you side to side, whispering an ‘i love you’.

and with that, he’s out the door, waving a goodbye as he turns on his motorcycle.

: : :

it had been hours since you’ve last seen baji, you were pacing back and forth, trying to think of what to do.

you made your mind up, grabbing your coat, keys, and phone— locking the door behind you as you run to the junkyard he said he’d be at.

you could hear the sounds of people getting their ass beat, but what stood out to you the most was baji’s voice. your legs felt like they could give out at any moment, yet you kept running to see him.

at that moment, he dropped to the ground, you ran to his side, chifuyu holding his now bloody body.

“BAJI!? W-WHAT DID YOU DO??” you screamed, tears pricking in your eyes. your legs ached when you dropped to your knees but you couldn’t care less.

“hey darlin, why’re you here?” he grimaced. his attempt to smile only hurting you more.

you shook your head as if you were trying to remove this image from your head, as if you were saying ‘no, this isn’t happening’. but your words were caught in your throat.

you held him in your arms, resting your forehead on his— ignoring that his blood was painting your jacket crimson.

“you promised me, baji. you promised that were coming home..” you sobbed violently, tears spilling from your eyes; you wanted to be strong, but seeing him like this, you just couldn’t.

“i know, and i’m coming home,” he raised his left hand, his matching promise ring still on his finger.

“you’re coming back..?” it felt like the end of your world, feeling baji’s body temperature lower quickly.

he slowly nodded his head, tears in his eyes too.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered, barely audible if you weren’t so close. his eyes closed, breathing shakily.

“i love you, baji.”

he smiled one last time, before he stopped breathing. sobs racking through your body as you pulled him in closer.

baji was a man of his word, but maybe promises were meant to be broken..

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