#obviously she gets murdered after but she died being the best ever

[cheese-rat29]

on the ten year anniversary of hannibal escaping, freddie lounds releases a book of all of her articles about will and the chesapeake ripper. she calls it murder husbands and releases it on valentine’s day

[greatunironic]

eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.

so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.

he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.

because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.

eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.

(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)

when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”

then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?

he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.

“you’re alive,” she says.

eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”

“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”

he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.

“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.

“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—

“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.

“maybe not.”

“don’t lie.”

“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”

“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”

“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”

“speaking from experience?”

“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”

“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“

“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”

“at the frozen four.”

“yeah, sure, that too.”

“what?”

“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”

“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”

“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.

eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”

“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”

“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.

the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”

“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”

steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“

“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“

“so,” says steve.

“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.

“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”

“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”

“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”

“coach! go time!”

“yeah?” he asks.

“yeah.”

“COACH!”

he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”

“pick me up in twenty?”

“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.

someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”

with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.

“damn,” he says quietly.

“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.

“how long have you been there?” he asks.

she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. “also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”

“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”

“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”

a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.

[maxdibert]

Pretty messed up how some people are fans of a creepy and obsessive guy who didn’t care if a man and a child died just so he could get the girl.

Alright, let's break this down, anon, because there's a lot to unpack here.

I think I've mentioned this in several posts already, but I'll repeat it: Severus owed James Potter NOTHING—no compassion, no empathy, no mercy. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. James Potter was a rich, popular brat who abused his social and economic capital to torment a poor, unsupported boy for seven years just because he didn't like him from the moment they met on the train to Hogwarts, and from that moment on, he had it in for him. He was a terrible bully who used his friends to join in on that nasty bullying. So if Snape didn’t care that he died, well, Snape had every right to feel that way. Do you go to victims of domestic violence and tell them they should feel sorry for their abusers? No, right? Well, this is the same thing. James was an abuser, Severus was his victim. Severus did more than enough by not telling Voldemort to torture him to death with Cruciatus, because I would have. Honestly, I don't understand why Snaters always bring up the whole "James was dead and Snape walked over his body" as if it were some horrible thing when, hello! You're talking about an ABUSER being dead, mate. Of course, he walked right over his body—what surprises me is that he didn’t throw a party.

Harry had to die. I know this sounds terrible, but it’s basically what the prophecy indicated. He was a target that Voldemort wasn’t going to let slip away, his fate was sealed. And yes, it’s unethical. And yes, it’s immoral. But the truth is that wars are unethical and highly immoral, and horrible, monstrous decisions are often made. Harry was not an option—asking for mercy for him was pointless because there wasn’t going to be any.

I don’t think Severus ever believed that if James was out of the picture, Lily would go to him or anything like that. I mean, they hadn’t spoken for five years—about six by that time. Severus NEVER harassed or stalked Lily. The only time he went after her was when the whole SWM incident happened, and he tried to apologise. Once she made it clear she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, Severus respected her decision, and as far as we know from canon, they never interacted again. So, I don’t think, after six years of not talking, with his supposed former best friend having married and had a child with his personal bully, Severus had many expectations of them ending up in any sort of romantic relationship. I think, quite simply, that Lily always represented the only good part of his childhood—the only happy memories, the only moments of peace amidst the hellish violence he endured at home. I believe this was crucial for someone like him, whose childhood and teenage years were marked by violence, and he wasn’t willing to let the one good thing in his life end up murdered.

I agree that Severus is highly obsessive, but haters tend to frame this in a derogatory way, referring to his "obsession" with Lily, and I think it needs some clarification. Yes, Severus is obsessive, and he’s terribly immature at times, and he overreacts enormously when confronted with something that really triggers him (just look at how quickly he loses his temper with Sirius, for instance). This is obviously because he’s someone who never had the opportunity to grow up normally or develop cognitively as he should have, because his whole life was marked by violence. His home life was violent, and at school, he endured violence, and then at 20 years old, he handed his soul over to Dumbledore’s cause and had to work for nearly two decades at a school that was the epicentre of many of his traumas. He literally had neither the spaces nor the environments needed to heal and grow into a functional adult, and you can clearly see this in his behaviour. I’ve always said Severus is more of a diva than the cold, mysterious character people often make him out to be in fanon. To me, he’s someone who, on a personal level, hasn’t been able to grow emotionally in a healthy way and doesn’t know how to manage certain situations, especially those tied to his emotional issues. That said, I also don’t think he was romantically and/or sexually obsessed with Lily. I do think he loved her or was infatuated with her in his youth—first love, crush, whatever. But I don’t believe his need to avenge her death was due to romantic or obsessive love. I think it’s more about his obsession with repaying his debt to her. Severus always felt partially responsible for Lily’s death, and that’s where his obsession lies: it’s not that he’s obsessed with her, per se, but with the fact that he feels guilty for what happened. He feels, in some way, responsible for the death of the one person who showed him kindness, affection, and care during his childhood, which made her the most important person in his life at one point. And guilt often leads to obsession, much like grief that is not properly processed, and I don’t think that kind of obsession is creepy. I think it’s a very human kind of obsession.

Lastly, I don’t find Severus creepy at all. Why is he creepy? I mean, Harry was running around with his invisibility cloak, spying on everyone. The Marauders had A BLOODY MAP that allowed them to track everyone at Hogwarts 24/7 like some kind of magical GPS. Is Severus really the creepy one here? There are literally Animagi who turn into animals to spy on people—I have to laugh at the whole creepy argument.

That being said, if you’re going to come into my DMs to complain about Severus, at least bring some convincing arguments because it’s a bit tiresome hearing the same nonsense over and over again.

[brucewaynehater101]

Time traveling Tim AU, but he was never Robin:

In the first timeline, Jason never dies. For the plot's sake, let's just say Sheila was found out and arrested. Jason never runs away, but he does end up crashing at Dick's place for a while.

Jason eventually takes on a new mantle (not Red Hood).

A few weeks after this, Bruce sees a purple vigilante fluttering about. She thus becomes the third Robin.

That relationship isn't the best, so Steph eventually sheds the Robin mantle for a batgirl one (not sure how Cass fits in quite yet).

This is in time for Damian to pop up and become Robin.

All of that is background information that Tim keeps track of in the OG timeline. He never becomes part of the batfam.

When his mom dies and his dad is thrown into a coma, Tim does the fake uncle stuff. Tim's dad wakes up. They don't have a big blowup about Robin, but they also don't really know each other. They try, but it's intensely exhausting trying to navigate their grief, stress, lies, and lack of relationship with each other.

Tim goes out one night to hang with one of his friends.

He doesn't get his dad's call.

He comes home to his father murdered.

Batman puts Captain Boomerang away and doesn't look into Tim's established fake uncle. Since the uncle has already looked after Tim once, Bruce has his hands full with the other kids, and Tim is just a civilian, Bruce leaves him alone.

And Tim? He's fucking pissed. He was finally starting to get a relationship with his dad, and this guy took that away from him. Jail doesn't feel like enough.

Tim can't take him on like this, though. If Batman won't get him the justice Tim craves, the teen will just do it himself.

So Tim's uncle declares the teen is going abroad to get away from his grief as well as learn from an international boarding school. Tim manages Drake Industries remotely as he goes to Paris to train.

He gets much of the same training he did in his early Robin years, and that whole arc plays out. Tim isn't Robin, though. He kills.

He regrets it, he despises it, but he tries to convince himself it's necessary. If he's going to get revenge for his dad, he'll kill later anyways.

He, unfortunately, also catches the eye of Ra's. He accepts the man's offer to train and tries to becomes okay with killing.

Eventually, Tim leaves. He promises to return to Ra's at a later date after fulfilling his revenge.

When it comes down to it, when Boomerang is about to die from his own choices, Tim backs out. He becomes horrified with what he's allowed himself to become. His hands are stained red, and Tim doesn't believe he'll ever wash it off.

Batman finds out about Tim and tries to tell him he did good by letting Boomerang go (because their relationship is obviously different here. Bruce sees a kid used to killing refraining and not his son about to kill). Tim, so absorbed in his own guilt, flees.

He becomes obsessed with fixing his mistakes (which Tim... buddy... Maybe the issue is you getting so absorbed in your goals and losing sight of what matters/your morals). He accidentally slings his consciousness back to when he was nine.

He's nine, has the memories of an adult (he was about 19 by the time he got shot back), and thinks he needs to pay for his sins. Thus, he becomes an independent vigilante/informant. He drops information off with Batman or other heroes.

Most estimate his age to be between 25-30, and he's known for finding information, clues, and people when others can't. He is also known for vehemently being against murder (though, due to his time with LoA, he sometimes suggests cruel methods).

When Jason first goes missing, Tim instantly notifies Bruce.

Jason still dies.

Tim blames himself. By going back to the past, he's obviously condemned Jason to die. It's Tim's fault (butterfly effect sucks ass. Not Tim's fault, but guilt also sucks).

From Tim's time in LoA, he monitors them. He will thwart certain plans if he can get away with it without them noticing. He's also in their system.

This is how he learns about Jason.

His vigilante persona, known for finding even the impossible, brings evidence of Jason's existence to a grieving Bruce as well as proof of Damian.

[possessedopossum]

Antivan crows treatment [obviously spoilers]

I do NOT agree with the popular sentiment that the crows got sanitized in this game. I DO have questions about crow related writing choices but this is not the choice I have problems with.

Showing one concept, event, place or a person from multiple perspectives is one of the core features of dragon age series. We always had different and sometimes contradicting views on the same thing. For example, the Circle as Vivienne sees it and the Circle as Anders sees it are two very different Circles. It's not bad writing, it's how biases, personal experiences and opinions work. I would like to remind you that Solas says about spirits' perspectives on Ostagar – no matter how different the visions are, they are both real.

Zevran and Lucanis are different as night and day. Obviously a whore's son (no offense) and first talon's grandchild would have different experiences. So would crow Rook, who gets special princess treatment from Viago, also a talon. So would Viago, who is the antivan king's bastard. So would Teia, who considers the crows her family, since she never had one to begin with. They all either joined the crows willingly or were born into it. They weren't sold to the crows by brothel madam like Zevran was.

And at the end of the day, the crows are still assassins. Even being first talon's favorite grandchild won't save you from abuse and literal torture. You are still supposed to undergo the harsh training that will leave you without food and water for days and Maker knows what else. You still work with people who strive for power and would do anything to obtain it. House Arannai changed 6 talons throughout 20 years. Half of the talons were murdered in tevinter nights by the traitor who sold them out to qunari. Dellamorte family almost got wiped out. Some npc casually says Viago would be very sad if he had to kill crow Rook but that he would still do it anyway if necessary. The crows literally made Jacobus, a literal child, full fledged assassin in front of our eyes. What other proof of crows being shitty people need? A quest line where we personally torture children? Do you really want this to be so on the nose?

Yes, the crows are treated like the good guys by the narrative and there are pretty good reasons for that. 1) We can play as a crow and it SHOULD give us, the player, a bias 2) There are more important tasks at hand. We are fighting gods. We aren't fighting for the wellbeing of Antiva, we are fighting for the wellbeing of reality itself. With such high stakes crows shittyness is absolutely irrelevant 3) The crows are Antiva's one and only defense. No matter how shitty they are, without them, it will be worse 4) Glorification of organized crime is a thing that happens in real life and I thought we liked our games somewhat realistic.

I can go as far as sharing some personal info on the last part. I like the crows very much because I grew up in the area so riddled with crime an average person from rich white neighborhood would lose their mind. The best governor our fucked up city ever had was the local gangster. Crime was family business to him and that's why he cared for the city more than other governors – his children would have to live here after he dies. The dude killed people for money but the city was finally clean and pretty and much safer than it used to be. I don't have a problem with antivan crows being batman-ized because I've seen so happen irl. Is it sad that sometimes only mafia can keep a city from falling apart? Yes. But it is real and that's why it is beautiful. Veilguard feels very realistic to me and I don't get the bad writing claims. I guess our governor wasn't realistic enough, I'll tell him if I meet his ghost.

The problem I have with the crows is how the Ivenci/Butcher plot was handled. It felt like it was rushed and added at the last moment. I'm not against Ivenci as a villain, I am simply mourning the lost potential. The plot could have been much better if Rook started to suspect something is wrong on their own. Extra scenes with Butcher to flesh out the character more would have benefited the quest line. I'm glad that Veilguard added some positive qunari rep with Taash and Shathann but there could have been more. Bioware could have told us WHY the Butcher decided to desert. He seems to have more respect for qunari philosophy than other antaam leaders. Why couldn't he stay with his Arishok, then? There is a huge difference between bad writing and the lack of writing. Ivenci and Butcher aren't badly written, they simply lack screen time.

My overall opinion of the game is very positive. Yeah, it could have been better. But it also could have been much worse. There could always been more time to plan, more tools to use, more choices to explore. But things never work out the way you want them to. I think given the circumstances and EA's desire to make live service games, bioware gave us their best shot. Regret is nothing but pride, vanity and a waste of time. The game itself says so. And I would rather enjoy the game as it is than waste my time thinking what it could have been.

[15-lizards]

thinking really hard ab my clegane daughter ocs again... me nd @sshireens have created such a rich and fucked up life for them...

time to be cringe on main and force y'all to listen to me talk ab them <3 <3

Dagmar (elder daughter from the first wife) vibes tho I don't have a set in stone face claim for her yet these r her general vibes. Obviously she's not as pretty as these models she's kinda unfortunate she takes after her dad. Really deep set eyes and heavy brow bone, square jaw, wide nose, tall and stocky for her age. Kinda like Brienne if she didn't have good vibes.

Anywayssss she's so much like her uncle that Sandor sometimes wonders if he did some sort of asexual reproduction and had her. Really keeps up the tradition of Cleganes being rabid (but loyal) dogs. Super hostile and antisocial, absolutely CANNOT regulate her emotions, borderline personality disorder queen omg. Low tolerance for basically anyone and anything (except her sister) and has really huge emotional outbursts over seemingly small things. Except for when she's around Gregor cause she goes into safety mode and just shuts out all stimuli. Just super tense, constantly on-edge, and really disregulated emotions she has literally never known peace. Her cortisol levels are So High.

Why is she like this u may ask??? excellent question. Answer: nuclear threat to all women Gregor Clegane happens to be her dad. When she was like barely 2 her mother died "mysteriously" so she got to be alone in Clegane Keep with her rapist murder dad, his rapist murder buddies, and some horrified servants and a septa. Yippeeee. Obviously Gregor felt the need to establish dominance over every woman and girl, and this was only increased by her intense personality, so Dagmar is subject to all kinds of abuse as a child. She learns pretty quickly that u can't really fight back against him so she just shuts down anytime he's in her vicinity as to not pose a "threat" to him. It sorta works. Then lets out her emotions on everything else: serving boys, kennel hounds, herself, etc etc. Half of the time she's in a blind rage and the other half she's in a hopeless dissociative state :) Actively suicidal and she's not even fifteen. HOWEVER when she's like six the light of her life and reason to keep living is born...

And cue Iva (younger daughter from the second wife) and if she ever survives to adulthood (unlikely) it is Scripture to me that she looks like a young Carol Kane. Sunken cheeks, pallid skin, wide protruding bug eyes, long nose, dry and frizzy pale hair. Very very sickly because her mom gave birth a month early and then died bc of it. So all she has is her big sister :]

While Dagmar's response to most things is aggression and really reactionary over-emotional outbursts, Iva is the complete opposite. She likes to run and hide in corners every time she senses confrontation or even gets slightly uncomfortable. Very very avoidant and anxious. Gets to live in her own little mind palace most of the time bc Dagmar is there to protect her. However Dagmar protects her a little too hard and now she is overly dependent on her big sis. Pathetically helpless. Selectively mute a good bit of the time bc it all just gets to be overwhelming and she feels safer just not interacting with the outside world. Super passive like an actual human doormat (if she ever let anyone actually talk to her)

And she is the way she is for [see Gregor reasons above]. However since Dagmar was there when she was born, her big sis sees this weak little baby and feels protectiveness for the first time in her life. Iva is HER baby and Dagmar never lets her out of her sight. Not in a cute overprotective sibling way but in a really aggressive "don't do that you stupid idiot I know what's best for you don't ever leave me way" cause that's how she shows her love so Ivas like Ah this is what love must be like. Obviously Dagmar can't protect her from everything so Iva is abused in the same ways, but slightly less often because Gregor sees her as less interesting and less of a challenge because of her passiveness. So Iva's response is to make herself even smaller and ignore all her problems to live inside her own head lalalalalala

And when they're together oh these girls give a new meaning to Codependent. Dagmar sneaking into Iva's room after Gregor leaves it one night and getting so upset to the point of breaking things and grabbing Iva until she bruises her sister even more. But Iva is comforted by it because that rage means Dagmar cares ab her. Dagmar literally beating a stable boy into a vegetable state (or killing him, ur choice) for trying to grab Iva's skirts. Iva is in literal medical shock seeing a (near) dead body on the ground that got put there for HER while Dagmar is smiling with her bloody knuckles bc it felt good to hurt someone protect her sister (She actually feels horrifically guilty about it later but manages to ease the cognitive dissonance by telling herself that she was protecting Iva so it absolves her of everything bc Iva is perfect and fragile and can't be hurt). One time at a feast when the girls are in their pre/mid teens, Gregor makes an offhanded comment about marrying "the prettier one" off soon and Dagmar forgets her dad trauma for a hot second, bc her urge to keep Iva safe is that strong, and literally throws a serving plate at his head. Later when Dagmar is in her room, with three less teeth and five new giant bruises, Iva is cleaning her up and weeping and just wanting to curl up with Dagmar in bed and forget the rest of the world forever. Meanwhile Dagmar is planning out the murder-suicide she will enact if Iva does get married off. She doesn't tell her sister that just yet but Iva would be more than okay with it. Cause how can Dagmar live without her guiding light morality pet only good thing she has and how can Iva live without her only dog her only knight. YAYYYYYY

[bunniidollii]

murder on the dance floor, ghostface!rafe

kildare county, once revered as one of the safest communities in the state, is now plagued by a serial killer. he’s already claimed four victims, all fellow students at kildare high. attending a party with a killer on the prowl seemed foolish, but you desperately needed a night to let loose. just one night to forget the tragedies in your life, simply to get drunk and dance, spending the night with your friends. little did you know that a certain someone would make a guest appearance.

tw: it’s ghostface so obviously murder, blood, knives, dead bodies. reader does use heatless curlers but no other physical description is given. suggestive content but no actual smut

you would never forget the first victim to the kildare killer, known also as ghostface by the community, thanks to the eerily familiar mask. you were home alone, watching some vacuous tv show that you weren’t paying attention to, when a news alert interrupted.

you watched in horror as the yearbook photo of your science partner appeared on screen, listening to the detailed description of his gruesome death. stabbed in the chest twelve times, along with several gashes on his body— a fate he didn’t ever deserve. the police hadn’t made any arrests, no evidence pointing towards the identity of the killer other than a phone call from an unknown number, simply warning residents to stay vigilant. then a photo of the killer appeared, grainy and unclear from some cctv footage, but just as frightening with the familar ghostface mask covering his face.

ironic you thought, scream being your favourite film.

after a couple of days with no updates on the case, you’d started putting it behind you, and instead focused on your school work and ignoring the pang in your chest everytime you sat next to the empty seat.

but then another person died. this time an ex best friend of yours, whom you’d had a particularly bad falling out with over the last semester. shock was the only way to describe the way you felt. mourning not the person who died, but the friendship you had officially lost. next was an ex boyfriend of yours. both victims receiving a phone call from the same unknown number. it was official— you had a serial killer on the loose.

❦.♱ʚ♡ɞ♱❦.

the next victim was your final straw: your boyfriend. you’d been together for two years, planning on going to college together, even with talk of marriage in the future.

the police had visited your family, making the connection between the victims and yourself. it was a long and gruelling conversation, with them asking lots of questions about who the killer could be. anyone who might want to seek revenge for something you’d done, but the only person you’d ever fallen out with was murdered in cold blood weeks ago. precautions were put into place to ensure your safety— unable to leave the house without a police escort, having an adult present at the house at all times, for example. you hated feeling trapped, but the fear of the killer increased with each moment of silence.

it was quiet, eerily quiet, with no attacks or murders in the last week. some said he was done, but a part of you knew you’d never be safe, not with the shadow of death following your every step.

❦.♱ʚ♡ɞ♱❦.

a final chance for normalcy was offered when you received a party invitation from your friend lena— tonight, at 9pm. and it may have sounded insensitive but you couldn’t wait, so desperate for a chance to live a little, especially when you had no idea how long you had left. one last night of fun.

you realised you only had a couple hours to get ready without your parents suspecting anything. they’d murder you themselves if they caught wind of you sneaking out, especially with a serial killer on the loose. dinner was always served, courtesy of the in-house chef your mother hired because she was too busy at the country club sipping martini after martini, at seven thirty sharp. you’d have to split the process, showering and shaving and whatnot before, passing it off as a simple self-care night. after the usual silent meal with your parents, you’d be able to sort out your hair and make-up.

you always loved the getting ready process, finding it to be more fun than the actual night itself, with the anticipation of what could happen far more exciting than the reality of the events. each time was like a well-practiced ritual, always running a hot bath sofia coppola style and soaking up whatever bath soak you’d selected, face coated in a face mask and cucumbers placed over your eyes. you’d lie there with a playlist serving as ambience, or perhaps if you were feeling particularly motivated, an audiobook or podcast. your boyfriend always found it funny, coming over to yours only to find you lying in silence as jane eyre was read to you. ex-boyfriend, you needed to get used to that. tonight was the night to forget, to escape the past that had been haunting you each day, even if it was only a temporary fix.

things were going smoothly, no accidental slips of tonight’s plans, eating your salmon in silence after the brief small-talk was over. your mother reading a magazine on whatever trend she’d been obsessed with. last month was water aerobics, then bonzai trees, and the most recent— spirituality. your father’s eyes always glued to his phone, responding to one work email after another. tonight, however, he decided to acknowledge the others at the table, eyes now fixated on the heatless curlers wrapped across the crown of your head.

“what are you wearing?” his voice cut the silence, prompting you to look up at him with your signature pout that always sweet talked your dad.

“they’re just heatless curlers, daddy”

“and why have you got those in?”

“they’re overnight ones, so the longer i wear them, the better the curl.”

the conversation ended there, your father seemingly satisfied with your explanation, whilst your mother had yet to look up from her article. the meal was over within the coming ten minutes, allowing you to rush upstairs and begin your make-up whilst planning an outfit in your head. it wasn’t a casual party, but it certainly wasn’t an occasion that would require you to dress up. a mini skirt and and top, coupled with a pair of designer kitten heels, was always your go-to for a party like this. you settled for a pink matching set, asymmetrical skirt and strappy tank top, which matched perfectly with a new pair of prada shoes you’d bought last week.

the base of your make-up didn’t take long, sticking with simple rather than your usual full-faced party look. once dressed, you took out the heatless curlers, allowing your hair to fall down and frame your face. the spritz of perfume and coat of lipgloss were the final touches before you grabbed your purse and heels and began to silently make your way to the front door, where you’d meet a friend who had offered to take you.

it was easier said than done, with your father still downstairs in his office and staff in the kitchen, but you were soon successful in your escape and easily spotted the familiar jeep parked opposite.

your heels against the pavement were all that could be heard besides the faint running of the car engine.

“hi rafe!” you beamed as you opened the car door and sat in the front, a total passenger princess as rafe always liked to remind you. “thanks for taking me tonight, i didn’t think lena’s parties were your kinda thing.” a single kiss was placed on rafe’s cheek leaving a glossy mark in its wake, your favourite gesture to show your appreciation for your best friend.

“course bunny, couldn’t let you go on your own. ‘specially with a killer after you.”

“you don’t know they’re after me rafe, it’s probably all just coincidental.” your words faded towards the end, the memories of those you had lost still fresh in your head.

“you don’t have to worry about any killer coming near you, not with me around.” a hand was placed on your thigh, a gesture not uncommon from rafe, but one never appreciated by your boyfriend. rafe said he was just insecure when you brought it up, dismissing the matter and continuing with his seemingly friendly gestures. this time, however, it inched a little higher as he continued to drive. with eyes focused on the road, rafe’s ringed hand entered new territory that left goosebumps in its wake. you tried to relax, but you couldn’t ignore the fact that rafe never would have done this had you still had a boyfriend.

after a couple minutes of silence, not awkward but not entirely comfortable either, rafe pulled into the driveway of the familiar house. music could be heard from down the street, but only now could you see the coloured spotlights lena sets up for parties, reds and purples and blues bouncing across the house as you both entered. rafe suggested you split up for the time being once you spotted your friends between the dance floor and bar, while he went off in search for topper and kelce.

hugs were shared in greeting before you were quickly given an array of shots to down, thankfully with some orange juice on the side for a chaser. you were eager to join your friends in their tipsy state, pouring four shots down your throat, unaware of how rafe watched you across the room as your face scrunched up in disgust.

a familiar song began to play as your friends dragged you into the middle of the room and temporary dance floor. it wasn’t a massive space, leaving close proximity between everyone as bodies moved against one another. you were quick to lose yourself in the music, finally forgetting your grief as your hands latched onto the nearest person, inviting them to join you. he turned slightly to face you as he adjusted your hands into a more comfortable position, and you recognised him as one of the boys in your year, remembering he was in your maths class last year, although his name had slipped your drunken mind.

throughout the night, you were blissfully unaware of rafe’s gaze always fixed on you and this random boy as you continued to dance against one another. you never noticed the glare rafe sent in your direction as you began to grind against his front in time with the music. and you definitely didn’t notice him following you both upstairs as the boy lead you to an empty room.

❦.♱ʚ♡ɞ♱❦.

breathy whimpers were all that could be heard as will, whose name you finally remembered, assaulted your neck with frantic and desperate kisses. one hand under the plush of your ass securing you against the door, the other threaded through your hair, allowing him easy access to your sweet spot. your legs were impossibly tight around his waist at the feeling, acrylic nails digging into his shoulders. you weren’t sure how long you were pinned against the door, but at some point you realised you were now being backed into the bed as will’s body hovered over yours, lips surging forward to meet in the middle.

before they could, however, a pained groan left will’s mouth as his body fell onto you. standing above you with a bloody knife held in one hand was the masked face of the killer. and he had just stabbed someone right on top of you. a shrill scream left your mouth as the knife was slammed back into will, causing more cries of pain to leave his mouth as his blood was coughed onto your top.

you were quick to push will’s dying body off of yours, struggling against the deadweight and ghostface’s attempts to keep you trapped. the struggle resulted in a small cut on your chest bone, right across the marks left by the boy lying next you, but were lucky enough to slip out of his hold and bolt towards the door. a quick look behind showed the horrifying sight of will’s body being continually violated by the knife, cries leaving his mouth with each strike. there was no way to help him, and you used this distraction to run down the landing. the first few rooms were locked, panic flooding through your veins with each blocked exist. the storage cupboard was luckily unlocked as you slipped inside silently.

you sank to the floor unable to keep standing after all you had witnessed. footsteps could be heard faintly over the music, reminding you of all the blissfully unaware party goers downstairs. no one would have heard your screams over the sheer volume that left the house shaking, though that could just be a result of your fear.

you slapped your hand across your mouth to silence your screams when you realised there was someone else in there with you. propped against one of the shelves was lena’s body, her cold and lifeless eyes staring back at you. a clear slit was on her throat, blood still flowing down from the cut. you couldn’t take your eyes off her as your hands clamped over your mouth did little to muffle your sobs. and while you were in shock at the horror in front of you, you’d forgotten all about the haunting footsteps getting closer and closer.

light quickly flooded the small cupboard, illuminating the lifeless body of your friend. you weren’t distracted when the sound of a knife slashing through the air interrupted your trance. it wasn’t an easy feat to get passed the knife-wielding masked man unscathed, yet you were back to sprinting down the landing with only a small cut on your arm.

you could barely hear the heavy footsteps behind you over the pounding of your heart, but you knew he was close behind. the only option was to go back into the same room you were in before, and hopefully you’d be able to lock it or escape through the window. you couldn’t bare to look at will’s body by the bed as you ran in, instead turning around to try and shut the door behind you. an arm was quick to stop you, slipping into the gap as he forced his body into the room.

rough hands grabbed onto you, pining yours behind your back as the other snaked around your throat and gripped tightly.

“please don’t kill me, i’m begging you” you pleaded as you gasped for breath frantically, tears flooding down your face as you choked on your sobs.

“that’s it whore, beg”

it was then you recognised the familiar voice.

“r-rafe?”

definitely going to write a part 2 fear not !! it’ll probably end up pure smut but oh well 😙

[markantonys]

AITA for joining a "cult" that thinks my sister and mom are Darkfriends?

First, some backstory. I (30m) have always been an outsider in my family. It wasn't anything to do with my parents - dad (dead) always spent all his time with me instead of my younger siblings, and (step)mom (43f) always gave me extra attention compared to her bio kids because she didn't want me to feel neglected - or with my brother (21m), who's always looked up to me. It was all because of my sister (19f). She's hated and bullied me ever since she was a toddler, and I have no idea why. I guess maybe she doesn't think I'm her real brother, or blames me for telling on her whenever she did irresponsible things like climb trees and talk to strangers. All I've ever done is try to keep her safe, but she's never appreciated it.

Anyway, there's this organization (my sister claims it's a cult, though I don't think that's fair) that's dedicated to serving the Light. My mom always hated them and kept them banned from our country because she thinks they have an agenda against women who can channel, and she's one herself, as is my sister. I used to believe her, but after reading one book written by the organization's founder, I realized that my mom has a totally biased view of them and they're actually doing really important work founded on admirable principles. So when my sister went missing at the hands of women who can channel, I decided I'd had enough of those women lying to everyone all the time and I joined this organization.

I did have my view of them shaken when I found out my mom had been kidnapped, abused, and murdered by one of their leaders (turns out she's actually still alive though, don't worry about that), but I challenged that leader to an honorable duel and killed him to avenge my mom, and my friends and I rooted out a handful of other corrupt members of the organization, so now with that small minority gone, the rest of us can continue doing the Light's work and spreading awareness of the evils of the One Power.

To be clear, I OBVIOUSLY don't think my sister and mom are Darkfriends; it's only everyone else who uses the One Power who is. I've explained this to my sister multiple times but it only makes her angrier instead of grateful that I'm making an exception for her and choosing to believe the best of her. It feels like I can never do anything right in her eyes, but maybe I've somehow got the wrong understanding of the situation. So, AITA?

******

u/dainbornhald: NTA. Your sister's problem isn't actually that you joined this organization (which totally does sound 100% Light-serving). She doesn't think you're her real brother and is just looking for any excuse to continue the bullying, manipulation, and gaslighting she's been using on you since she was a toddler. [+5k votes] u/childbyar: Came here to say this. Sister sounds like a textbook abuser, and, honestly, almost definitely a Darkfriend. I'd go no contact with her, OP, and maybe get a restraining order if you have to - she's obviously unhinged. [+1.2k votes]

u/amyrlinseat: You joined a cult that thinks your sister is a Darkfriend based on an innate characteristic about her that she didn't choose and can't change (unlike you, who DID choose to join this cult), and you're whining that she's mad at you for it??? YTA [-749 votes]

u/luckyfox: YTA for the cult thing, but this whole family's got serious mommy AND daddy issues (take it from an expert). Sister resents you for getting all your parents' attention growing up, and you have a victim complex about being a stepchild/half-brother. I can only wonder what might be going on with the middle brother who wasn't mentioned much here. You guys need to go to therapy. [+2 votes] u/galaddamodred [OP]: My brother always seemed very well-adjusted, but a few hours after I made this post he actually died going on a suicide charge in battle because he thought he was unimportant enough to risk and no one would care much if he died in the attempt. Which sucks because now the only sibling I've got left is my sister who hates me. [+273 votes] u/luckyfox: oh my god [+312 votes]

[dracox-serdriel]

OMitB Season 4 Theories

Spoilers for all episods of Only Murders in the Building Season 4 up to episode 6. (If you want to skip it, please strike the 'J' key to jump past this post.)

Sazz knew about another murder in the building (likely the "sensitive topic" she meant to discuss with Charles at the end of Season 3) and possibly also knew about the cameras hidden in Oliver's and Charle's apartments.

Obviously, someone else knew Sazz knew about the murder and that she planned to spill the beans to "the podcasters"

The spy cameras must've been placed sometime before the start of Season 4 (how else would the killer know that it was safe to enter Charles' apartment to get Sazz's body?)

My theory is that the cameras were somehow placed by Marshall Pope or someone helping him spy. (Mostly because of his stage direction -- he describes Oliver as "flitting around" -- not something that would be obvious actions given the OmitB trio are podcasters who rely way too much on hidden cameras -- so more sound than video.)

When did Dudenoff die?

In theory, he could've died before Tim Kono.

The Brother/Sisters said that Dudenoff cut off all contact with them three years ago. (To the best of my knowledge, they are the only ones who gave a firm time about when they last spoke to Dudenoff.)

The "old incinerator" is banned because it causees a very noticable power surger in the entire building whenever it's used. Andn, according to Oliver & Charles, that kind of power surge hasn't happened in a while (since the old incinerator was banned).

It's possible Dudenoff died three years ago. His body could've been stored in any number of secret corners of the Arconia - though my guess is that he was hidden in the bricked up walls that cut the West Tower off from the rest of the Arconia.

Dudenoff's death predating Tim Kono's has a number of thematic components/call backs:

In episode 1x01, Charles' opening monologue: "Here's a thing I don't get. People who worry about living in a big city because of all the crime. As any true crime aficionado will tell you, it's the boondocks you need to worry about. I mean, let's face it. Nobody ever discovered 19 bodies buried in the backyard of a 14-story apartment building."

In episode 2x03, Oliver says: "Bunny and I, we're lifers. She's probably gonna be buried in the Arconia. And on hot days, the whole building will be able to smell you."

It makes sense that the killer would want to burn the body after someone cotton onto Dudenoff being dead.

My theory right now is that Dudenoff wasn't murdered. The illegal sublets are all under his name; his death would nix the rent control entirely - so all of the Westies with illegal sublets have cause to cover up his death. So his death could've been accidental or natural, and plenty of people still had tons of reason to cover it up. Not to mention there's someone is cashing Dudenoff's checks on 125th street - that could be part of the cover up or it's just another reason to keep his death a secret.

It would be easy for Sazz or literally any outsider to see evidence of the coverup (and maybe even the body itself) and conclude - well of course this was a murder! Especially if they didn't know about the illegal sublet thing going on.

Missing Pieces

The student film, "The Desecration of Alice", almost certainly had another actor from Dudenoff's classes -- a woman, the person who played Alice. I'm guessing that this is Rudy's ex-girlfriend, Helga -- the one who abandoned Hammy Faye Baker (the pig) in the Dudenoff's studio apartment.

What's with the Ham Radios? Seems like a way someone keeps in contact while staying off the grid.

Who is cashing Dudenoff's social security checks? I have zero reason behind it, but I truly think it's Lester the Doorman. He's been doing it as a favor, cashing the checks, then dropping the cash off to someone, per Dudenoff's request. Again, zero reason for me to suspect this. Just thinking.

Or... is Dedenoff actually dead?

Dudenoff has allowed people to illegally sublet from him for decades. Would it be so wild for him to have allowed someone he cared about to use his health insurance coverage to replace a shoulder? That could easily explain how the serial number traced back to him -- without him actually being dead.

This would also explain the Ham Radios.

Who is the killer?

Not enough information about who is the killer/shooter of Sazz, but people I'm keeping an eye on:

Bev Melon - the producer

Marshal Pope - the writer

Helga

Ana - Inez and Alfonso's daughter

Rudy aka Christmas-all-the-time-guy - easily the most atheltic of the Westies, could almost certainly handle the ubertight window of he shooter + the cleaner

Scott Bakula - ok, not really, but why not? Super sus how he turned up in 4x01 and was like, "Ho-hum, TOTALLY not like Sazz, right?!"

Sazz's Agent - unnamed character, see next section

Why Sazz?

Sazz has a ton of connections - she's the reason Charles had friends when he worked on Brazzos. Most people at the stunt bar seemed to know her fairly well. She is clearly far more competent at keeping interpersonal connections (especially those critical for her job) than most of the other characters in OMit-B.

The relationship Sazz was keen on quitting (she gave more than she got) -- I know Charles thinks it was himself -- but I don't think so. I think the person Sazz was keen on quitting was actually her agent. This is a character we've only heard about in passing, with Sazz talking to them on the phone -- but it makes a lot more sense than it being Charles.

The Theory of Season 4

While there's no real limits to the question "Who has access to Charles and Oliver's apartments?" Because of all the secret passage ways and stuff... but my theory is that Sazz's agent is in complete cahoots with Bev Melon (the producer) and leverage Sazz to plan cameras in Oliver's and Charles' apartments, among other things, to help Marshal (the film writer) and Bev get a full jump on the OMit-B.

Oliver is 100% right to be surprised at how far along the project is when they go out ot California in 4x01. That didn't happen by accident. This production had a crapton of inside sources to draw from to get it to where it is.

If Sazz's agent used blackmail or even just basic power pressure to get Sazz to participate in this kind of spycraft, then I could easily see how Sazz would want to get out from under that thumb.

At least, that would explain why Sazz is suddenly pushing to retire, even though there was a recent reboot of Brazzos giving her plenty of work (even if the show is on hiatus ATM).

[myheadphonesareneverloudenough]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die; musical motifs

i have so many thoughts about Nerdy Prudes Must Die and specifically the musical motifs used throughout. so buckle up, i want to talk. (theres a whole breakdown under the cut.)

so, if you didn't know already, Jeff Blim is a musical genius. and in the Hatchetfield universe, theres so many musical motifs that get used in every show. but there's one in particular that i don't know what to call it, but i'm gonna say it's 'the nerds' theme'. it's this one right here;

i've heard some call it Pete's theme, which is wrong. this specific melody is the theme of Pete, Richie, and Ruth's self worth and their inescapable tragedies. when we meet the three friends, it's very obvious that they see themselves at the bottom of the high school food chain. the nerds have accepted that they are worthless and will amount to nothing in school, because that is where society has placed them. it's as simple as Pete's song Cool As I Think I Am. he very literally does not see himself as valuable as the other students. but when that idea shifts from Cool As I Think I Am to Cool As She Thinks I Am, suddenly we have Pete realising his self worth, and the motif shows up;

and right after that, Pete is beat up in a parking lot by Max Jägerman. Pete's own self worth can only go so far when you have people like Max denying it constantly.

so now there's lyrics to this motif, and yes, Pete is the first one to sing it. But that doesn't make it any less Ruth and Richie's.

just like Pete, Richie finds his self worth in the acceptance from others. Once Max is gone and Richie makes friends with the football team, he realises how great it is to be alive. he realises that he deserves to be alive.

when Max comes to kill him, Richie justifies his self worth with the motif that returns for him this time, not Pete;

now they're not his final words, but Richie dies after declaring, "I'm Not A Loser". when he finally gets some self worth, he is murdered and never gets to fulfil that worth.

Ruth's self worth is a little different. she views her worthlessness as unfair. she believes that if she was different, she could be something great. unlike Pete and Richie, Ruth really shows that she has bigger dreams. Ruth wants to be the star of the show. she wishes to be appreciated, and her ungodly horniess can honestly be seen as a metaphor for wanting to be loved. Ruth sings about her self worth in the most Ruth way, with her own number in the BBQ Monologues.

the climax of the song (which Lauren kills, btw) the motif comes back again in the background. This time, it's for Ruth and her self worth;

does the fact that Ruth's version of the motif doesn't include the 'im not a loser' lyrics have to do with Ruth having more belief in herself? that she doesn't need to explain she isn't a loser because she knows she isn't a loser and deserves to have a chance in the spotlight? i sure as hell think so.

but Max kills her immediately after. he stops her from ever living out her big dreams of being a star.

the motif comes back again, obviously, in the reprise of Cool As I Think I Am;

the lyrics change this time around, and Pete sings 'you have to do it', which is him telling Steph that she has to be the one to kill him. despite Pete learning how to have self worth throughout this whole show, he still views himself as expendable. could this be justified with the fact that his two best friends just had their hopes and dreams shattered in death? probably. the point is, at some point during Max's killing spree, the death of his best friends, and the summoning of the Lords in Black, Pete has managed to convince himself that he's worthless again.

now. in the end, it feels like a happy ending due to the nature of The Best of You, but there are still a lot of loose ends to be explored. and on top of all that, the Nerds' motif comes back one last time;

because Grace kept the Black Book and continued to use it, and the Lords in Black are far from fair, i think Pete's torment and tragic narrative is not over by the end of NPMD.

so yeah. Pete, Richie, and Ruth are 'doomed by the narrative', as are most people in Hatchetfield. but these three characters are specifically doomed by their own self worth, and the narrative will never let them truly become their true selves.

and Jeff Blim wrote a banger melody to tell that story.

[disillusioneddanny]

Eloped in Space

Parts: 

One 

Two 

Three 

Four 

Danny glanced at his husband who just gave him that annoyed, displeased look. “Obviously, he’s not very happy about that,” Danny said with a grin before he looked back at his new step children. “Ya see, after being around for as long as I have, things such as life and death don’t matter as much. Moonlight here doesn’t fully understand that. He is still in that phase in his mortality where he believes that all life is sacred regardless of what he has done.”

“So… since you’re my new step dad, would you be mad at me if I killed the Joker?” Jason asked slowly, it was worth a shot at least.

Danny shrugged. “I don’t see why I would be. It’s very healthy for murder victims to avenge their murders,” Danny said with a shrug. “If I had been murdered when I died, I would have wanted to avenge my death as well.”

“So… I can?” Jason clarified. 

“Sure. I’ll help you if you want,” Danny offered, a happy smile on his face. This would be perfect! Bruce had been so worried that Jason would be the one to be less likely to accept Danny had his new step father! This would be a great way to bond with his new stepson. 

“Oh my god, you’re the best dad ever,” Jason exclaimed. He looked at Bruce and gave him the most withering, annoyed look he could. “That’s the kind of attitude a father should have when their murdered son wants to avenge their murder.”

“Shut it, Jason,” Bruce said, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance. 

“I am just saying life and death really does not mean that much. Besides, once Joker is in my realm, he is subject to whatever I would like to do to him,” Danny said with a wave of his hand.

Jason grinned and looked at his siblings. “I dunno about you guys but I approve,” he said and fell onto a couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he gave his new step father an appraising look. 

“A father who approves of murder? I think that I am okay with this new change,” Damian stated before he looked Danny up and down. “I will not call you dad.”

Danny grinned. “What do you want to call me then?”

Damian let out a hum as he thought about this. He was more than okay with his father getting married and by the display of power that this Danny has shown, he was more than worthy of his father’s time. Not only that but Danny was more than okay with murder if it proved to be necessary. Not only that but he was a king of an entire realm and loved his father. He saw no true issue with this union. “Step-Father,” he decided. 

Danny gave the youngest Wayne an excited smile. “I’ll take it!” He looked at Bruce and took his hands in his own. “See my sweet Cassiopeia, you were so worried about Damian and Jason’s approval and they’re the first ones who are okay with us being together!”

The batman just gave his husband a disapproving look. “Because you just gave them both the go ahead for murder, of course they’ll like you,” he said in annoyance. Danny just let out a giggle and kissed his husband softly. 

“It will only be in moderation, right boys?” He asked, glancing at the two brothers. Jason and Damian both gave their father twin innocent smiles as they nodded their heads. 

“Of course, Father, in moderation,” Damian said smoothly. 

“If Dad gives us the go ahead first, I don’t see a problem,” Jason said crossing his arms. At this, Bruce let out a huff. Jason rarely called him Dad and usually only when he was upset or in need of comfort. Danny immediately got the dad name. He wasn’t jealous, definitely not. 

Dick let out a hum and took a seat next to Tim and looked at his other siblings and their de-facto siblings, Barb and Steph. “What do you guys think?”

Cass smiled. “Bruce is happy. New Dad is nice,” she said, shrugging her shoulders before she looked at Danny. “Dad?”

“Dad,” Danny agreed, a happy smile on his face. 

“I mean, Cass is right. Bruce is happier than I’ve ever seen him and I bet Danny can keep him on his toes,” Tim stated, giving Danny a look. 

“I’m right here,” Bruce grumbled. Danny shushed his husband and looked at the siblings. 

“Do I pass?” He asked. Duke, Tim, Dick, and Barb all looked at one another before they shrugged. 

“Dad,” they all stated happily. 

“Will you be joining us on patrols?” Damian questioned, giving the man a hopeful look. 

Danny simply shook his head. “No, I’m just going to be Bruce’s happy little housewife. I’ll be here with Alfie, bonding and doing my own work. If any of you need me, you’ll be able to get a hold of me at any time. I’m more than happy to help but the vigilante thing isn’t my thing anymore.”

“What a shame,” Damian said with a tch. Danny just shrugged his shoulders and wrapped his arm around Bruce’s shoulders and kissed him again. 

“Love you,” he murmured, nibbling at Bruce’s bottom lip softly. Bruce just smiled. 

“Love you too,” he said in response, causing all of the siblings to stare in surprise. Bruce? Emotionally vulnerable? He could never.

Read part six here

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[account-name]

Five headcannons you have about Phone Guy ?

[EDIT: all of this was written months before the week before came out. some of my hcs have been adjusted slightly since then although most of this still applies]

yayyyyy thank you so much for the ask this is the first time i've been asked about him !!! this ended up a bit long because i wanted to fit in all my important phone guy lore because i've never gotten the opportunity to talk about him

i apologize if this is a bit all over the place and hard to read i'm not good at putting my thoughts into words

also i might reblog with more if i think of anything big i missed

he drinks way too much coffee. he needs to stay awake and alert all the time so he can continue to be productive despite his inconsistent sleep schedule (he gets nightmares which get more and more frequent over time) (and he is also being overworked which is not a good combo) (he doesn't remember the last time he's had a day off) so he uses the caffeine as a way to make up for that. plus he also just genuinely likes how coffee tastes. he also used to smoke but he stopped when his ex wife (marilyn) was pregnant with fritz, so he at least got over that one (if i didn't mention it yet he is fritz's dad btw). caffeine is the only addiction that he still actively struggles with by the time he dies.

he has a confusing relationship with his gender. i think in the normal fnaf timeline he unfortunately dies an egg and never gets the chance to think about it fully but in any au where he lives past that and learns that being trans is a thing he would proceed to have a gender crisis. (fun fact in the au i made specifically for selfshipping daydream lore he is working that out in real time) (i am supporting him every step of the way :) ) he is questioning and he has no idea how he identifies at the moment but that guy is not a man. he does still have a trans pin in the normal fnaf timeline but he doesn't actually know what it means. he found it while cleaning the ballpit one day and decided to keep it because it was kinda neat. he IS trans but he doesn't know it yet. i generally still refer to him with he/him since those are the only pronouns he ever used but depending on the au i think eventually he might experiment with other pronouns in the future. change is scary though so it would definitely take him awhile to get to that point. especially since he's been repressing his emotions for so long. (EDIT: she is now using he/she pronouns :3)

i've touched on this one before but he was working the day his son was murdered. he brought fritz to work with him thinking he could multitask but phone got caught up with work and wasn't paying enough attention to notice fritz getting lured to the back room. he didn't notice his son was missing until it was too late. he absolutely blames himself for it and it eats him up inside. he goes through a messy divorce shortly after since marilyn blames him too. poor phone guy has no one left except his bosses. at least they always cared about him right? they saw his potential when no one else did and he was their best employee. except no they didn't. william was actively manipulating him to do his bidding and henry just didn't care about him at all. poor phone guy. but he still puts on a happy face and pretends everything is fine until he can't anymore. he also blames himself for the other missing children because he was too far in denial and desperately wanted to believe that it wasn't what it looked like so he didn't do anything to stop it when other kids started disappearing. he knew what was happening he just couldn't bring himself to accept it. and then it was too late. he hates himself for that.

he's helped william hide bodies. not the missing children obviously, but whenever other employees happen to know a little too much and they turn up dead in the morning, someone's gotta clean it up. he's had to sweep so much under the rug. it's horrible but phone guy can't say anything or else it will all get pinned on him. phone guy getting framed for murder wouldn't help the situation much either. maybe it was the cowards way out to give in to the blackmail but he was put in a horrible situation and made the choice he had to to get out of it. he helped dispose bodies of his coworkers. it doesn't help that he trusted william and looked up to him for so long. he was one of the only people to ever say he was proud of him. and look where he ended up.

i can't decide on another singular hc to write an entire paragraph on so here's a bunch of small ones instead:

he dabbled in theatre in highschool. he wasn't a dedicated theatre kid or anything and definitely didn't continue after graduating but he did good

he has a beautiful singing voice. he'll get embarrassed if you overhear him though

he witnessed both bites, and sees 87 as his own fault since jeremy was following the instructions phone gave him

he's a breakfast enjoyer :)

he was born in 1957 and died at the age of 36 . fritz was conceived when he was 21

similar to his gender, his sexuality is also a mystery. he's probably ace but as for romantic orientation who knows

he likes to read. it's one of the only hobbies he has time for

he likes sci-fi and is a fan of star trek

he idly hums while he works

when he was a kid his parents had very high expectations for him and expected him to do something big with his life. they weren't bad parents but they weren't the best either. they were very strict with him especially when it came to school. (gifted kid burnout weeeoo)

he has a little sister (phone dude's mom) however he doesn't really have any contact with her or anyone else in his family at the time of fnaf as they moved away from utah and he did not follow them.

i love all the phone biology hcs mentioned in @ask-the-phone (sorry if you didn't want to be tagged lmk i can remove it) so those apply to my phone guy as well. (he molts periodically, his mouth is on the receiver, esophagus cord, ect.)

gives the best hugs

touch starved and very easily flattered

//⚠️cw attempted suicide for the next couple //

this is a dark one but he went into fnaf one knowing full well he was going die, and to an extent hoping for it. this is when he was at his absolute lowest. he was never going to get through that week. i think if for whatever reason the animatronics didn't kill him he would've finished the job himself. he's scared of death but he couldn't imagine a future for himself and didn't think he even deserved one. fnaf 1 was an act of suicide. despite this he still tries to leave helpful reassuring messages for mike to help him survive the week, even up until his last moments.

he tried to take his own life after the bite of 87. maybe also after the divorce too. it didn't work and he just had to go back to work afterward and pretend he was okay. he was not.

[ok back to the other hcs]

fritz always used to put stickers on phone's face. he continues to wear the stickers to remember him

while his head is phone shaped it's entirely biological. it's essentially like a bug exoskeleton. he was born like that and it's not questioned because that's a completely normal way for people to look. sometimes people are just phones

his head is also functional as a phone though. don't ask me how

he purrs when he's comfy.

in the movie universe he is alive and well and living a life outside of freddy's. he worked there briefly and recorded some tapes and then left before it all went wrong. i guess in this au his bosses never really saw him as anything special this time. his son still dies and he probably still gets divorced but phone is able to move on and heal and live his own life. good for him.

i think if phone guy didn't work at freddy's he would've made a good teacher

he is so full of autism

very much a perfectionist unfortunately

not easily angered, but he can get frustrated at times. he bottles it up though so he seems fine until he finally snaps

and that's the list i came up with so far :) i might add more if i think of anything important i forgot but thank you so much for giving me an opportunity to finally talk about my phone guy !!! :)

edit:

-in honor of the news, his middle name is ralph, making his full legal name phone ralph guy (because that is just so funny to me)

[bonefall]

Do you have a top 5 dotc characters line-up? Just ones you like in general

"Top 5" is really more of a... "guys I hate the least" lineup. Characters whose treatment made me so angry it's become spite-love. It's bad in here. It's REALLY bad in here.

In no particular order, the characters I like in DOTC are,

Bumble Not JUST because of how dirty she was done, either. Bumble's amazing. She's confident, she's outgoing, she's funny! She's there for Turtle Tail when Gray Wing is treating her like shit, and friendly to every cat she meets, even when they're being dicks to her. She ALWAYS does the right thing in the end and has the best interests of her friends at heart. She's a GOOD PERSON! The ONE time she was ever ANGRY at anyone was when Turtle Tail just let her get dragged back to their wifebeater. She's only part of TWO books but she's the BEST character in the entire arc, hands down, above and beyond the rest of the cast. JUSTICE for Bumble!

Bright Stream She got fridged, killed in a shocking, gruesome way, with uncomfortable detail put on how the pregnant woman probably died slowly and was eaten alive, ripped to shreds by eagles... for Clear Sky's man pain. Clear Sky literally fucking broods in a moonbeam. All because Gray Wing tripped like an idiot in a horror movie. And it was a WASTE. Bright Stream IS INTERESTING ALL ON HER OWN. Gray Wing was downplaying Clear Sky emotionally pressuring her into leaving, dismissing him going "I HOPE YOUR HUNTING SUCKS SO YOU REALIZE YOU SHOULD FOLLOW ME" with a 'good humored flick of his tail,' thirsting over how attractive Bright Stream is and how lucky Clear Sky is to have her as a mate while Bright Stream is obviously feeling upset about how her shitty husband has been talking to her. And it's actually insulting how the writers never acknowledged this-- that Clear Sky has ALWAYS been manipulative. From BOOK ONE. And then she has these absolutely bizarre Angel Fetus Children that Gray Wing coos about on his death bed, because god for-fucking-bid a single scene go by that doesn't become Clear Sky-centric.

Snake This arc tries SO bad to make this fucking guy a villain. SO hard. They describe his stinky breath and his bad teeth and how icky and gross he is, and they make him kill Frost during Clear Sky's Murder Party as if I'm supposed to blame HIM instead of the ESTABLISHED MURDERER WHO ORDERED HIS MEN TO KILL EVERYONE. Then, they choose HIM to stand up against Clear Sky after he let a murderous evil tyrant into his group against all warnings. And they treat that like it's a bad thing. Like SNAKE is the one who's awful for TELLING CLEAR SKY TO SHOVE HIS HALFHEARTED APOLOGY UP HIS UGLY ASS They even make him follow One Eye's evil lackey in the next book, like they're trying to slander him in hindsight. "Oh nonono, ackshually, Snake wasn't principled at all. He wasn't making a point about how Clear Sky let One Eye into his group and that he's sick of following tyrants. DONT WORRY. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE CLEAR SKY ARE EVIL :)" FUCK you. I'm going to stan Snake OUT OF SPITE.

Tall Shadow While I still can't stand what they did with her and Bumble... she's an interesting character and done SO DIRTY because the writers don't fucking respect women at all They chose to have her go through a "self-confidence arc" because everyone nonsensically HATES her and just wants Gray Wing to lead, where she has to choose taking care of her burn-victim brother over leading because her "emotions" are getting in the way, only to clear up once her family is fucking dead because the books KEEP INSISTING that women in particular can't be leaders if they have an important emotional connection. And THEN they have Shaded-fucking-Moss, her predecessor, descend from heaven after Clear Sky's Murder Party to tut-tut at her for killing someone after she was THROWN INTO A CROWD OF PEOPLE TRYING TO MURDER HER, because I'm DEAD serious, god forbid women do anything. Clear Sky's got a direct body count of 3 at this point, PLUS the indirect body count of a dozen people killed on his orders, but ACTUALLY Tall Shadow is the one who deserves the fucking scolding. INSANE. And YET. She remains a practical person. She's diplomatic when she can be, and harsh when she cannot. Against all common sense, she LISTENS to Gray Wing's AWFUL advice to do Just One More peaceful meeting where maybe THIS time sucking Clear Sky's toes will work, because she is fair. I cannot help but love her.

Milkweed I haven't gotten to her in my read-along yet but she's done so dirty, too. It makes me sick. She's revealed to be a friend of Misty and distrusts the Mountain Cats for, you know... stealing all the native cats' land and murdering her friend? But don't worry, Gray Wing's here to do Clear Sky Apologetics and convince her to go join his group. While there she gets verbally accosted by Leaf, a recurring background asshole, who says she's useless, her stupid babies are stealing his food, and that when she gets sick she's just keeping the whole camp awake with her coughing. So anyway, because the Erins LOVE domestic abuse, they get shipped together lmaoo. Normal book series.

Bumble, Bright Stream, Snake, Tall Shadow, Milkweed. I also have feelings about Wind Runner though, and what they did with her. But GOD, explaining my complicated thoughts on Wind Runner would take a long time. She is both a favorite and also a symbol of several huge problems in WC.

[itsclydebitches]

This has got to be one of the most frustrating screenshots in RWBY.

Fans can deny it as much as they like that Qrow was not responsible for Clover's death but this screenshot proves that he did. Tyrian may have struck Clover through the heart, but Qrow was the one who allowed it to happen by fighting him and whittling his Aura levels down to dangerous levels before breaking it. AND there was literally no reason for Qrow to strike him, Clover had Tyrian restrained, the literal serial killer was ready to be taken back into custody and instead of stopping the fight and surrendering...he decides the best course of action is to attack the man restraining the serial killer. Okay. The worst part is Clover's death changes nothing, whether he lives or dies doesn't change the fact that Qrow still gets arrested and taken to James.

The concept of responsibility in the canon is so hopelessly skewed. Personally, I consider characters at least partially responsible for an outcome if their action meets three criteria:

Did this action directly allow for the outcome to occur, even if it wasn't the final step? e.g. Qrow breaking Clover's aura = Clover is now vulnerable to death via Tyrian. No punch = new outcome (Clover not dying then)

Did the character have agency in this moment? i.e. they're not mind controlled, not threatened into taking an action they otherwise wouldn't consider, not manipulated or lead astray by false information, etc.

Was the character aware that this action could lead to a horrific outcome? Are they reliably informed of the risks? e.g. Qrow ABSOLUTELY understands the dangers of breaking someone's aura, in the middle of the tundra, while a long-established serial killer is attempting to murder them

Now, note that when I say "responsible" I mean in the sense of, "You should be held accountable for this" rather than the equally literal and ethically simpler, "You just did the thing." I'm just plain old responsible if I knock a vase over like, "Yeah, regardless of this being a total accident I am the one who knocked it over. No one else did that. I'm the responsible party, but in a chill, very forgivable way." I'm accountable-responsible if I willingly throw a ball across the room, knowing full well it might hit something, but not really giving a shit for stupid, OOC reasons.

The show tries to play Qrow's choice off as just generic-responsible (when it's not irrationally blaming Ironwood), but he's accountable-responsible. He made a choice of his own free will, understanding better than most (as a huntsman and someone who has faced Tyrian before) the danger that choice presented to his friend, and that choice directly provided the means of Clover's death. Qrow didn't murder Clover, but he sure as hell was an accomplice.

And RWBY is full of these moments that, like with Qrow, the story ignores or forgives a character because the action in question is taken by one of the heroes. The above criteria is why I hold Ruby largely responsible for them ending up in the Ever After (you made a series of informed demands that directly lead to this outcome), or why I hold Jaune responsible for Penny's death (you made the choice to end her life without persuasive evidence that she couldn't be saved), even though both obviously have villains taking that final step: Salem is the one actually attacking Remnant, Cinder is the one who stabs Penny. Yet neither character has to grapple with their choices; the story glosses over them by introducing a new emotional focus that makes us feel for the character instead, not their victim(s): Ruby doesn't have to own up to her actions as leader because she jumps straight to crying over how hard it is to be leader; Jaune doesn't have to own up to Penny's death because he jumps straight to being traumatized by a lifetime of Ever After isolation. As a side-note, this is very similar to one of my biggest issues with Bakugo from MHA: too often the story has him engage in horrific behavior, immediately introduces something Bad in his life - he's kidnapped, injured, upset that All Might doesn't love him best - and saving/comforting him becomes the new focus, bypassing accountability. Or, fans read the Bad Thing as divine punishment for previous actions... despite there being no connection between the two and thus no growth. Meanwhile, in parallel world, Ruby helps doom Remnant but it's fine because she's upset about something and all the story cares about is showing Any Emotional Reaction, not one that will demonstrate that the character a) understands how their actions lead to this outcome, b) understands why that's an issue, and c) strives to change their behavior in the future.

RWBY also plays the Dramatic Emotional Card. Like, you know that person who when you correct them about something they become SO over-the-top upset about their mistake that you wind up comforting them rather than allowing them to sit with the correction? Yeah. There's no space to let Qrow sit with his responsibility because the show is too busy having him rail against Ironwood, or stare his Super Depressed stare at Clover's badge. The cue to the audience is, "He's so upset! Feel for him!!" not "Damn, he fucked up... how's he gonna grow from this?"

Then to round things off the responsible hero is always narratively forgiven. Qrow stops the bomb with an unprecedented spout of good luck: Clover from beyond the grave helping him in his time of need (not literally most likely, but in a thematic sense). Ruby returns to a world with her image painted in alleyways as a martyr: Remnant overlooking all the ways she helped cause their predicament and, again, positioning her solely as the injured party, rather than a victim and a perpetrator (which, frankly, makes Ruby more boring!). You're not supposed to hold them responsible, but if you do don't worry, here's a "hopeful" scene that explicitly says blaming them is a mistake.

[hoodlessmads]

Dark Heir spoiler thoughts:

Okay some of these are criticisms but please understand I really liked it! I liked it even more than Dark Rise. I’m just an overdramatic person and need to yell sometimes.

These don’t have any particular order, I’m just freestyling -

Reading Captive Prince years ago (and rereading since) before reading Dark Rise made me have an unfair resentment towards James for being basically the same character as Laurent but not as good and that continued here

Will is the second best character Pacat has ever made after Laurent and book 3 might push him ahead

I loved seeing Will use more and more of his evil powers

The best one being where he possesses anyone with a brand and his eyes turn black and he turns into Legion (maybe shoulda turned that off before trying to appeal to Violet…)

Finding out his mom actually was tying him to bedposts and beating him this whole time somehow shocked me because for some silly reason I believed one of the most unreliable third person subjective narrators ever, Will, that she was a nice lady just doing her best. Anyway I love this revelation because it makes such perfect sense, it’s just, “Oh. Of course.”

Violet and Cyprian are both himbos yet Violet is somehow the only character with a single brain cell left at the end of the book

Cyprian drinking from the cup makes no sense after they had a whole discussion in the first book about how drinking from the cup put the Stewards into the Dark King’s plans and made them his thralls and was the entire reason they died, a massacre which Cyprian experienced viscerally, and then he goes and drinks from the cup anyway and oops surprise Will can in fact enthrall him. Cyprian is able to fight it off but that doesn’t change the complete recklessness and out-of-character-ness of it to me.

Violet/Cyrprian is a good ship

Phillip/Visander is hilarious (in a good way)

Will/James is fine but I wish I was more compelled by them than I actually am. For being the main couple, I don’t feel like their relationship has been given the room it needed to develop organically and instead it feels like we’re falling back on physical attraction and a vague shadow of a past relationship in the old world that we didn’t get to see. It’s hard not to compare to Damen/Laurent which by contrast was developed so painstakingly.

Elizabeth is incredible

Visander sucks, actually

The whole Light kind of sucks. The Stewards, the Sun Kingdom, they were all assholes

People with black-and-white morality are truly terrible, aren’t they? And pretty much everyone is like that except for Will, James, and Violet

Sometimes I felt like that fact was really being hammered in on purpose almost as though to make James murdering like 300 people seem less bad (but it didn’t….)

But I don’t dislike James because he murdered 300 people, I actually love villains and I especially am attached to the idea of everyone being redeemable. But what I don’t like is the book telling me I should like James without giving me a good reason or the book downplaying his actions to make him seem more sympathetic. He can have murdered all the Stewards and still be compelling, we don’t need to diminish what he’s done in order for him to be likable

Also everyone in this book except like, Will and maybe Violet and James is an idiot (and I’ll excuse Elizabeth for only being ten). Someone send these characters to Psych 101, they don’t seem to understand the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy…

Like obviously if you tell someone they’re evil over and over again for their whole lifetime they will become evil

Theory - I don’t think Violet will turn on Will. I think she’s just shell-shocked. She wasn’t really given a chance to take a stance before James Peter Panned him away. Violet knows exactly what it feels like to be told you are evil because of some past thing, and she knows Will better than any of the other characters. And she knows that morality is not black and white (Tom is her brother). She’ll definitely end up in Will’s corner by the end.

Theory - The line of the Lady and the line of the Dark King are the same bloodline and they split off later. Sarcean’s “cataclysmic night together” with the Lady was mentioned not once but twice. Pacat doesn’t waste lines. The child that the Lady had was Sarcean’s, or at least one of them.

Will better figure out how to destroy that collar quick…before they both get even more traumatized. I think that will be one of his main goals in book 3. Or I hope…otherwise it will be hard to develop the genuine romance

I sure hope Will can also figure out how to expel that shadow from Cyprian before he like… dies. Don’t do that to Violet D:

So, I’m not a huge fan of YA in general (outside of YA anime and manga which for some reason hits different). I used to like it a lot, it used to be most of what I read. I grew up reading series like Redwall, Darren Shan, Demonata, Pendragon, and so on. But I’ve grown out of the genre (I’m 27). Not every adult does - one of my best friends who is a year older than me still really enjoys YA. But because I don’t like YA, I think my enjoyment of Dark Rise/Dark Heir is influenced and my criticisms may be unfair.

But I find that with fantasy series like this, I the books really need to be longer. Or there needs to be more of them. I feel like Dark Rise has so many moving pieces, enough characters that there could be a trading card game (and there are literally collectible cards), so many different magical artifacts and magical powers, an entire magical old world beneath the semi-magical 1820s Europe world to develop, and also by the way a whole story that took place 10,000 years ago that has to be told at some point. I find myself feeling like all these different elements are being introduced and moved on from too fast and I wish they were all given more time to breathe. I think that’s part of why the relationship between Will and James feels a bit rushed to me. I don’t know if the short length of the series was Pacat’s choice or an editor’s, though. I don’t feel like Captive Prince had this issue because there were no supernatural elements, the cast was much smaller, and the plot was comparably simple so a lot of it got to be characters just talking to each other, which was great, and the world building was accomplished mainly through these interactions. The plot and world of Dark Rise is much larger in scope but the page count is the same (a little longer maybe).

So wait who is Mrs. Duval

Why did Ettore leave the Stewards anyway? Other than the obvious, which is that they suck

Where was Grace during the whole ending scene? Wasn’t she there but just not saying anything. As this total calamity befalls her only remaining friend group she finally has seen too much and just nopes out and is busy making tea in the corner or maybe popcorn

I do really like Cyprian btw in spite of thinking his moral code is shitty. Gave Violet a chance but sold Will for one corn chip… I see how it is (okay that’s not fair but you know what I mean, he has flaws)

It sounds like I’m in the majority when I say that I still don’t like Devon - I saw that theory about him being the final big bad and I’m so on that train. I think he’d make a good enough final villain. I agree there is something predatory about him and Tom. I don’t necessarily think Pacat wants us to root for them as a couple, though. There were better ways to pull that off if that was the intent.

Not to repeat myself but Phillip was such a pleasant surprise. Like who is this fruit and how did he get here

So next book, I hope (assume) we get to see the rest of the old world story filled in so we can understand where it all went wrong for Sarcean and also the exact nature of his relationship with Anharion because so far it’s been quite vague (intentionally I assume). Like….. you know….. did he agree to put on the collar?

The tricky thing about this series is that once the reader learns that Will is the Dark King, it’s hard to maintain any sort of external tension. Right? It’s hard to feel afraid of the forces of the Dark when the protagonist has total effortless control over them just by virtue of who he is. Will can literally just be like, “No, don’t” and everything’s fine. He did just this at the end of Dark Rise. I find the way Dark Heir seems to end with their “only hope of stopping the Dark army” destroyed to be pretty unconvincing. Why on earth would Sarcean create a destructible object that is the only way of controlling his own army? Of course Will should be able to control them with his will alone. If he can control Shadow Kings and make them die with his words alone, why didn’t he try yelling at the shadow army to stop trying to possess people? This doesn’t make sense to me. And if people become Returners through his magic, shouldn’t he be able to exert some control over their existence the way he does with the branded? Pacat has done a good enough job at getting us to know Sarcean (an extremely good job btw) so as to make the destroyed brand plot point unbelievable. Anyway…

Instead, the tension in Dark Heir is almost entirely internal or realized in character relationships rather than physical threats. The tension is between Will and himself, and between Will and his friends. (There are tensions between other characters but focusing on the main plot here.) The possibility that they might find out and abandon him, and the possibility that he might actually be as nasty of a guy as Sarcean was, the slim chance that he might learn something that makes him go, “You know what, I agree with my past self after all.”

Now that everyone has found out who he is, that particular source of tension has sort of evaporated, so now in book 3 Pacat has to find a way to make Will’s conflict with himself and his friends compelling enough to carry us through 450 pages (I don’t expect this will be difficult). What I see as the problems now are 1) what was Sarcean actually planning and how did he plan on getting Will (himself) to fall in line with them (this was a question in Dark Heir as well but now it’s bigger), 2) how is Will going to destroy his own (Sarcean’s) Dark artifacts so he can free James, and 3) Can he convince anyone to ever love him (oh no ouch).

If I had to rank these books at this stage I’d probably give Rise a 3.7 ish…. and Heir a 4.2. I’m holding out for Dark King to be a 5 or close. (I don’t know what the actual title will be, I’m just guessing lol.) I definitely think Dark Heir is an improvement over Dark Rise since I always thought the most interesting part of the latter by far was everything that happened once Will learns he is the Dark King at the very end.

“Are we going to talk about the magic pseudo-sex scene—“ No and I hope we never will

[jamneuromain]

Hello, beauty! Congrats on your follower milestone 🥳

A prompt for you: Ransom + 😌😏

Hi Siri😌❤️

Thank you for your love and support :3

ksjsjskskskks 😏 ←that lil smirk is so Ransom! Hoe-kay, for this I present to you:

Payback Time

Ransom Drysdale x Reader (you)

Summary: Ransom is getting his payback for you, public enemy No.1.

Warning: Step-cest tendency (Cousin!Ramson x Cousin!Reader), not blood related, they are both grown-ups, Ransom is being vengeful, Harlan is very much alive.

Harlan is going to kill him.

Not now, obviously, but when Harlan finds out about what he is doing to you.

Harlan is going to murder him and write this story into a book.

But it doesn't matter. Ransom hums in content, snuggling further under the covers, sighing due to the warm and softness of the bedding.

That old man grows fond of you by day, ever since you came to this mansion on your own with a suitcase of books and clothes. Ransom huffs in annoyance. If there's one thing he cannot stand, is a random person (aka you), materializing out of thin air, completely unrelated by blood or marriage, and sets out to snatch a portion of Harlan's property.

According to the old man, you were the daughter of the adoptive child from Harlan's sister. His sister took care of your mother as her own, and before both of them died of illness, Harlan's brother in-law kicked you out of the house. Which is why Harlan's sister called before your arrival, asking her brother to take care of you. While Harlan and his sister wasn't on best terms when she married her husband, Harlan was far too kind and agreed for you to stay as long as you wish, paying off your college loan and medical bills that his brother in-law kicked out of the house along with you.

You are a pre-med student in your junior year, which means getting up early and going to bed late, spending few hours in the mansion. Even so, you manage to find the time, either learning how to take care of Harlan like Marta, or chatting with Harlan and play chess.

Ransom huffs again, not only were you a kiss-ass, but also stupidly quick learner at chess - Harlan asked Ransom to play against you one night, and you won. But only out of sheer dumb beginner's luck.

So, he's getting his payback.

Ransom tightens the thick duvet around his body - his almost naked body, and listens carefully to the soft creaking in the stairs.

He knows it's you, with your cautious steps up the screeching floor, while you don't want to wake any living soul in this house at 11:30 pm, dragging your tired ass - you have a good ass, by the way - up two floors, and rest in the room, which apparently became yours rather than his, even though every family in this house knows this room was originally his, and that Harlan asked Fran to clean up his room, RANSOM'S ROOM, for you, which Harlan announced that it would make you feel more like home if you were not living in one of the guest rooms.

Oh, so Ransom will feel more like home if he lives in one of the guest rooms when he drops by every holiday?

Harlan is probably charmed by you, some voodoo shit, or drugged by that idiot-brain Marta.

He holds his breath and closes his eyes, pretending to be sound asleep, as the door squeaks open, leading to your small gasp.

"Ransom!" You hiss in the smallest voice you manage, "Ransom! What are you doing in my bed?!"

After he yelled at his mother, calling her an "old hag", changed the lock to this room, and cut holes in your sweater, you know he wants his room back.

Not that you intend to sabotage his plans, being a guest in this household, how on earth can you give the room to him when Harlan has specifically told you that he would find a way for Ransom to stop bothering about which room belongs to whom?

"Ransom!" You hiss again, "I can see your body trembling under the covers! I have a class at eight and I need to sleep!"

Smiling brightly, Ransom pulls the cover down, revealing his - almost - naked body.

"Ransom!" You cover your eyes with a squeal, "Are you- Why- You are naked!"

"Come on, Cousin. You wanna tell me that you are not interested in this?" He gestures down his body as if displaying an exhibit. Cocking an eyebrow, he challenges your sanity with every word that comes out of his mouth, "One good fuck in exchange for my room?"

Silence. Dreadful silence fills the room.

Ransom has that annoying smirk up on his lips, looking down at his grey boxers, "...no? Shame." He swings the thick cover back on, muttering to himself, "Okay. Nevermind. I guess I will just ... enjoy this soft cushy bed on my own..."

"Hugh Ransom Drysdale!" You tear the heavy duvet from his body, "GET OUT OF MY BED!"

Okay fine. He looks like a living Adonis with his abs and biceps. So what?

You avoid looking at his God-like body and his eyes, whisper-yelling, "Get off or I swear I will wake up everyone in this house and tell them about how awful you are!"

Ransom yawns, completely oblivious to your weak threat, which he knows it is the last thing you will do - make a fuss about your living condition in front of all these Cold-blooded creatures.

"Ransom!" You huff at his attempt of grabbing the duvet, "If you insist on taking up my bed, at least you can tell me where the empty guest room is."

"Nope." Answers Ransom, popping the "p" between his wickedly seducing lips, "You got two options here. The floor," he points at the small space between the mahogany desk and the four-posters, "or here." He pats on his bed - wait that's your bed! - softly, "With me."

You clutch the edge of your sweater tightly, a small movement that did not missed Ransom's eyes.

"Or good luck finding Franny in this god forsaken house and 'waking up everyone' to tell them about how I mistreated my cousin." Ransom grins, "So, what do you think?"

It doesn't surprise Ransom when you take the duvet completely and roll up some of your clothing for a makeshift pillow on the floor. You are too tired to argue and too scared to disturb a family you barely know.

You turn off the light and lie down on the ground without another word.

... he may have gone a little too far.

His heart skips a beat when he hears a soft sigh of yours. Why should he feel weird about this? You are the one who is about to be part of Harlan's will and snatch Harlan's adoration. Taking up your bed - his bed, whatever whose bed seems childish. It bothers you, sure, but he never wanted for you to sleep on the ground.

Christ, why couldn't you be a kiss-ass for him like how you treat Harlan? That way he'd feel much more comfortable about making you sleep on the cold, hard, creaking floor - ugh!

Ransom cannot bear the thought any longer of you sleeping on the ground, which is why he gets up from the bed, swings his sweater and pants over his shoulders, and kicks your foot condescendingly, "Your bed sucks." Before strolling out of the room, stepping on the staircases loudly so the entire house could hear.

You suck. He thinks, setting foot on the creakiest spot he could find for these wooden planks. And if he cannot sleep at almost 12 o'clock, neither will the rest of the house.

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