#obviously not everything is the same but they were breaking in similar ways

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

^ this song is so Andrew/Renee coded

[ihave-atummyache]

3 way with ur roomie, hey roomie

ot8 blurb/imagine

stray kids

just my personal thoughts on the topic of ur skz!bf sharing u with another member (;

1.5 words

just hard thoughts i guess? idk im just horny and thinking

bang chan:

would share u with seungmin.

i feel like they would have very different approaches to how they are intimate, however, they both very much so give off brat tamer vibes in my opinion! i think seungmin would be more of a hard!dom brat tamer and chan would be more of a soft!dom brat tamer or even like more of an emotional brat tamer than a physical one. in the context that seungmin would spank you, smack you, spit on you, degrade you, chan would rather have you write that youre sorry 100 times on a piece of paper. im sorry its hot idk dont ask me!

i think their dynamic would work well together because they are so opposite but also so similar that it would be really easy to break you.

also they both would definitely love to see you cry. idk thats what theyre saying!!

lee know:

would share u with chan.

okay, hear me out. i know most people would think that he would share you with jisung but i so disagree!! minho is a possessive, jealous, mfer (hot). that being said, he is also basically joined at the hip with jisung and when you come around, its probably quite often the three of you together.

i dont think minho could stand the idea of you being around someone 24/7 that has seen you naked and felt every inch of you. hes sooo jealous.

but!! i think minchan would make for a great time tbh. theyre both so strong and yummy that it could get really rough, fast!! they're both very conscious of your body and how it is reacting to everything and they work in perfect tandem to make sure youre having a good time :p

you definitely cum so many times you can’t walk by the end of it all!

oh! and they both have greatttt stamina so i can just imagine you guys going at it for hours and hours.

most likely to have been made self indulgently, fueled by my own personal desires.

-on my knees for minchan.

changbin:

would share u with hyunjin.

changbin is so obsessed with hyunjin and its the cutest thing in the world. he thinks he can never be more obsessed with anyone but then, he meets you!

the idea of the two people he adores most in the world being intimate with him at the same time??? hot. hot hot hot. i also think that binnie is such a visual person. seeing you and hyunjin together is probably just pure art in his eyes.

i think that it would actually be super intimate. it would definitely not be something that happens often or casually. it probably happened one night on accident and it was a lot more intimate and intense than you all figured it would be.

changbin and hyunjin definitely kiss while they eiffel tower u. im sORRY!

hyunjin:

would share u with felix.

hyunjin loves felix so much. we all know this. i think that it would be very important that you and felix get along for hyunjin to make the relationship work.

honestly, it wouldnt surprise me if hyunjin were to make you two meet before you meet anyone else. he just values lix's opinion so much and its so cute. with that being said, i think that the idea of sharing you would kind of come naturally.

you and felix have GREAT chemistry and i think it would be hyunjin that suggests it. you three are probably sitting around the table or in the living room and he's just listening to you and felix talk and then he just speaks up with something stupid and hyunjin-like, for example: 'do you wanna have a threesome. like us three?' and obviously you and felix are quite surprised but after it being talked about, youre all down.

felix is probably a little softer in bed and i imagine hyunjin being the same way, except if he get particularly worked up. i imagine sex with hyunjin is usually pretty intimate and more like love-making. he is just such a romantic and values intimacy so much.

theres probably a lot of you receiving great head from the two boys and a LOT of kissing. and they have such nice lipshshshsjash

u definitely have a few bruises left as a reminder.

han:

would share u with minho.

okay okay okay so

im sensing the dynamic of minho actually not really participating and youre both kind of submissive BECAUSE voyeur minho>>>>

him telling jisung exactly how he should touch you or what he should say to you and then he gets all frustrated when jisung doesnt do it right and pushes him out the way and is like 'do it like this' and then showing him exactly how its done.

you're definitely being treated like an object more than a person and it's embarrassingly just that much hotter. i feel like jisung would follow every one of minho's commands without much thought. he trusts him whole heartedly even when it comes to you.

when you do actually have sex with both of them, it’s probably super rough. i feel like jisung would feed off minho’s energy and try to match it, yk?

felix:

would share you with changbin.

okay....hear me out! why do i lowk feel like you could dom changbin and felix so well.... and theyre so muscly and like masculine but you can get them both on their knees for you????? HOT

anyways, felix trust changbin a lot and he has said that changbin is his ideal type in men so... youre his ideal type, changbin is his ideal type, felix is in heaven.

a lot of praise from you has them both flustered and blushing and like putty in the palm of your hand. they could definitely dom you too tho!!! dont get me wrong.

manhandled, thrown up against a wall, rough, marked up, the works. they would probably hold you up at an insane angle so they can both fuck into you at the same time. some crazy karma sutra shit. i think they would be the first ones out of all these duos that would be found out. the way that changbin just suddenly gets a lot closer and touchier with you and the way the three of you would interact, it would be suspicious

most likely to end up in a poly relationship, methinks!

seungmin:

would share u with i.n.

THATS HIS BRO FR.

"seungmin, how do i make a girl cum with my fingers?"

"i can show u better than i can tell u"

and thats how you end up sprawled out on the bed getting edged over and over and over until you can barely feel your body!

"no angle your hand like this, there you go! you feel how this pretty pussy just clenched around you? thats good"

"you could probably make her squirt, she does all the time"

seungmin's words would be filthy. actually talking like youre just a sex doll that they can use for their own pleasure. i.n would probably often return and ask you and seungmin different questions and then youre all in the bedroom

he just happens to be more of a visual learner is all!

least likely to become poly, methinks! im under the impression that out of everyone, seungmin and jeongin would be the two that are most likely to keep things platonic. i think these would also be the most likely two members that have a friend with benefits and genuinely never catches feelings, yk?

okay and maybe it's just my own personal hand kink.... but they both have such fucking pretty hands like oh my goshdmsmshx put them down my throat pls!

i.n:

would share u with jisung.

tbh i think jeongin would be the most likely to share you with multiple members (maybe at the same time but uh anyways) but him and jisung just work.

jeongin is genuinely sooooo fond of jisung and you can just tell. he takes good care of jisung, even though he's younger and i think he trusts him a lot.

however, i think there could be a crazy dynamic here...

dom i.n x sub hannie x sub you?????

why is that kind of hot... and you all know im a big advocate for dom!han but i imagine him being a softer dom, at least a lot softer than jeongin. i.n and minho seem like they would be very similar in their dom ways.

i just cant imagine jeongin being a sub!!! like he IS an aquarius…lets not forget.

him and han’s dynamic is very silly and you can tell that they love each other dearly and feel very safe with one another. like they’re very much themselves around one another. i think thats why han would be able to sub to jeongin. and the irony of him being younger and he’s bossing him around… he would dig. jisung a freak!

han is a certified pussy addict. he eats coochie off the bone!! im imagining you sat back against i.n’s chest and jisung is between your legs just devouring and jeongin has his fingers practically gagging you omg i gtg N O

[thinkwosolife23]

Reputation, Alexia Putellas

Being a Williamson is great. For the most part. You and Leah had gained quite the reputation both on and off the pitch.

On the pitch, Leah had become one of the best centerbacks in the world. Captaining the Lionesses to winning the Euros and then taken them right through to the World Cup Final. And you had become on of the most well-decorated fowards in the world, top scorer for Arsenal and England. And when you were on the pitch together, well that was a duo that was feared by your opposistion. Leah was able to find you wherever you were on the pitch and 9 times out of 10, you would put the ball in the back of the net. The connection you two held on the pitch was unmatched, it became unstoppable.

But off the pitch, the Williamson name wasn't as appreciated. After the two of you had come out of long-term relationships, Leah with Jordan and you with Katie (McCabe). You had started to become known as, 'players.' The routine of going out, meeting someone, sleeping with them and leaving in the morning became all too familiar for the pair of you. The word commitment no longer exsisted in your world outside of football.

Your teamaties had become well aware of the antics you and your sister shared. This happened because you may have, accidently slept with one of your teamates sisters.

But this season, the Williamson sisters were no longer playing for the same club team.

Arsenal Star, Y/N Williamson leaves childhood club for Champions League Winners.

Barcalona break the current Womens record fee to sign Y/N Williamson from Arsenal.

So, here you were. In Barcalona. Today would be your first day in training, also the day where you would be introduced to your new teamates. Obviously, you had played against some of them in the World Cup Final but we won't talk about that.

Kiera had offered to take you to training, with it being your first day. And for the fact that currently, you don't have a car.

But with the journey to training, you also recieved a lecture.

"You can't mess around here, Y/N. You can't be like how you were in England." Kiera told you firmly just as you had stepped into the training centre.

"Best behaviour. I know, Ke" You replied, almost sarcasticly.

"I'm serious!"

You didn't reply, you just smiled at gave her the thumbs up.

Kiera took you straight out onto the field where all the girls were. They were all quick to come over introducing themselves to you.

But then something else took your attention, rather someone did.

She was beautiful, everything about her was just…. uuhh. She was talking to Lucy about something.

You looked back at Keira who was already giving you a firm look as if she knew what you was thinking, then giving you a strong shake of her head, telling you that your thoughts needed to stop.

Meanwhile, Alexia was just as curious. And Lucy seemed to notice it.

"You can't go there, Ale." Lucy told her, Alexia's eyes staying fixed on you.

"What do you mean?" She questioned, almost confused at Lucy's sudden outburst.

"She's got a bit of reputation for messing people around."

"She's english. You play with her, isn't she your friend." Alexia said, as if she was coming to your defense.

"She is a friend and she's an amazing footballer but that doesn't mean she isn't bad news. You need to be careful." Lucy affirmed before walking off, making her way towards Kiera.

This gave you the perfect chance to go an introduce yourself.

You made your way through the team towards her.

"Hola." You said, holding your hand out for her to shake. (Hey.)

"¿Tú hablas español?" She questioned, gently reaching out to shake your hand. (You speak spanish?)

"¿Qué puedo decir? Me propuse impresionar." (What can I say? I set out to impress.)

"Tienes bastante reputación, ¿no?" (You've got quite the reputation, haven't you.)

"Podría decir lo mismo de ti." You told her, your confidence soon starting to show. (I could say the same thing about you.)

"No creas que nuestras reputaciones son similares." Her confidence almost matching yours, almost… (Don't think that our reputations are similar.)

"Bueno, lo siento, no todas podemos ser tan buenas como Miss Balón de Oro. Pero me ofende un poco que mis habilidades futbolísticas no sean lo que más me conoce." (Well I am sorry, we can't all be as good as Miss Ballon D'or. But I am slightly offended that my footballing abillity isn't what i'm best known for.)

"Me han advertido sobre ti, que me mantenga alejado, aparentemente son tus malas noticias." She told you, her hand still held within yours. (I've been warned about you, to stay away, your bad news, apparently.)

"Entonces claramente debes estar inflado por mí, porque no estás escuchando la advertencia, ¿verdad?" You questioned her, whilst lifting your hands up showing her that she hadn't let go. (You must clearly be infactuated by me then, cause your not listening to the warning, are you?)

"Me gusta pensar que puedo opinar sobre las nuevas jugadoras." (I like to think I can make my own opinion of new players.)

"Mujer independiente. Y no pensé que podrías volverte más hermosa." (Independent woman. And I didn't think that you could get anymore beautiul.)

"Y eres demasiado coqueta." (And your too much of a flirt.)

Over the next few weeks, you and Alexia had become really close. Despite what people were telling both of you.

It was different with her though: something drew you towards her, you didn't just want to sleep with her. She made you feel something. Obviously, she was beautiful - no-one could deny that but she was so many other things. She was funny, she was intelligent, she amazed you everytime she stepped onto the pitch. She was perfect.

Nothing had actually happened between the pair of you, nothing more than the casual flirting on a daily basis. You two had formed an incredible connection on the pitch, similar to yours and Leahs. Alexia always managed to find you on the pitch and you knew that she was either next to you or behind you, words didn't need to be spoken for you two to understand each other.

Tonight, the whole of the Barcalona Femeni team were going out to celebrate a 4-0 win in the El Clasico. You managing to score 2 of them goals, also managing to assist Alexia on another one.

Anyways, you had just got to the bar with Mapi and Ingrid. Since your move to Barcalona, you had formed a really good friendship with the couple. Besides your fellow Lionesses, the two had definatly become two of your closest friends.

Some of your teamates had already arrived at the bar, taking seat in one of the booths in the far corner. Despite the night only just starting, the spanish bar was packed with people and sound.

The three of you made your way over to the group, squeezing through the crowds of people. As soon as you got to the group, everyone was up greeting the three of you before going back to there previous conversations.

After about half an hour, you joined Lucy in getting everyone another round of drinks.

"I'm suprised you haven't already found someone to take home." Lucy casually questioned you.

"Are you being serious?" Your voice raising slightly, clearly irritated.

"What? You can't blame me for thinking that. You and Leah practically bedded most of the girls in London."

"You know what Lucy, it's none of your buissness what I get up to in my own life. I'm done with this." You gestured your hands between you and Lucy, towards the conversations before walking off.

You began making your way outside, wanting to give yourself time to calm down. You went and sat on the kerb just in front of the bar but you weren't outside alone for long.

A few minutes passed before you felt someone's prescence beside you, resting their head on your shoulder.

You didn't even have to look to see who it was. So many things told you that it was her: the way she smelt or the fact that your body instantly relaxed as soon as she was near you.

"Y/N?" Alexia's voice was soft, sensing that something had clearly agitated you.

"Lex, estoy tan harto de todo esto que es como si todos estuvieran esperando que lo arruine todo." You told her, the fustration evident in your voice, complety opposing her soft tone. (Lex, i'm so fed up of it all, it's like everyone is waiting for me to mess everything up.)

"Se preocupan por ti. Sólo quieren lo mejor para ti." (They care about you. They just want what'a best for you.)

"Pero si se preocuparan por mí, verían que he cambiado, que estoy tratando de ser mejor." (But if they cared about me, they would see that i've changed, i'm trying to be better.)

There were a couple of minutes of silence between the pair of you, but knowing that Alexia was next to you brought you more re-assurance that any words could ever do.

"¿Puedo hacerte una pregunta?" She was first to break the silence. Her head head coming off your shoulder, for her boy to turn and face you. (Can I ask you a question?)

You eyes never left the view in front of you but you did nodd so that she knew you were listening. You could feel the intensity of her stare without even lookin in her direction, it felt as if she was almost studying your side profile. Her eyes focused solely on you.

"¿Qué te hizo acostarte con todas esas chicas? ¿Por qué estás tan en contra del compromiso?" (What made you sleep with all them girls, why are you so against commitment?)

"Técnicamente son dos preguntas." (That's technically two questions.)

She let out a slight laugh at your almost sarcastic response before looking back at your face to see that there were tears falling from your eyes. Instinctively, her hand reached for yours; interlocking your fingers before giving your hand a light squeeze. Her way of letting you know that she was there for you.

"Cuando estaba con Katie: pensé que me casaría con ella, tendría hijos con ella, pensé que estaríamos para siempre. Ella era mi todo. Pero obviamente no. Cuando ella rompió conmigo: estaba entumecido, no podía sentir. Después de un par de semanas, el equipo me arrastró con ellos a salir por la noche. Terminé emborrachándome mucho y yendo a casa de una chica. Fue la primera vez que realmente sentí algo. El sexo me hizo sentir, se volvió casi adictivo pero en el mal sentido. Salía, me emborrachaba, traía a alguien a casa, dormía con ellos y luego, a la mañana siguiente, se convertían en extraños y yo me iba." (When I was with Katie: I thought I was going to marry her, have kids with her, I thought we were forever. She was my everything. But obviously not. When she broke up with me: I was numb, I couldn't feel. After a couple of weeks, the team dragged me out with them on a night out, I ended up getting really drunk and going to a girl's house, It was the first time that I actually felt something. Sex made me feel, it became almost addictive but in a bad way. I'd go out, get drunk, take someone home, sleep with them and then the next morning they became a stanger and I left.)

"¿Y qué te hizo querer cambiar? ¿Por qué quieres mejorar?" (And what made you want to change, why do you want to get better?)

For the first time, you head turned to look at her. Her hands came up to wipe there tears from under your eyes, before giving you a smile.

"Lo hiciste." (You did.)

Her smile grew slightly and that mad you break out into a small smile. Before you knew it, your were both leaninig in. Her hands still resting on your cheeks as yours reached to each side of her neck. And then, her lips hit yours, giving you a spark you had never felt before, not even with Katie. The both of you pulled away, resting your forehead on hers.

"Es diferente contigo, Lex. Me haces sentir, me haces sentir tantas cosas diferentes. En realidad me asusta, pero quiero intentarlo contigo." (It's different with you, Lex. You make me feel, you make me feel so many different things. It actually scares me, but I want to try with you.)

[theneverfadinglands]

Heraldic devices; Fëanorions

Maedhros: It was quite a challenge to design Maedhros' device. He is the heir and therefore it must show, but it also have to contain his personality. Which I always interpreted as more elegant and simple, neat. I wanted to incorporate the motif of rose. Since I connect Maedhros (and Nerdanel) to roses. I wanted to incorporate both the star of Fëanor and rose of Nerdanel.

I. the first picture shows the device of Maitimo as he used in Valinor

II. Maedhros after Fëanor's death, high king of the Noldor in Beleriand. Used briefly of course. I believe it was designed by Maglor and he used it during Maedhros captivity. Maglor was not thrilled to be a king and so I can imagine he would use Maedhros' a lot. It has 16 points, just as Finwë's heraldic device.

III. Maedhros after his abdication, lord of Himring.. a lot of point for a lord, right? Fingolfin had 8 as well.

I. Makalaurë, I remember holly leaves were mentioned in Return to Aman (written by @cycas ). Since then they stuck in my head as Maglor's heraldic device. Of course they are golden. Picking themes for Maglor was not hard at all. The red circles are supposed to signify the berries of holly.

II. Maglor after Maedhros' capture. I am not sure if he was crowned the high king of the Noldor or not. He is not listed anywhere as one, it seems to me he managed to escape the kingship. After Maedhros' rescue, the golden circle was reduced in size as to not touch the sides. Maglor used this device in Beleriand and never used the Valinorean one again.

Celegorm, I was a little unsure what to choose, but it have not took me a long time to pick silver pine cone. I could not find any suitable animal-related theme, everything looked wuite ridiculous. I suppose even this look a little ridiculous. I was also unsure if I should go all the way and use the green or pick someting more inline with his siblings. However, Celegorm is odd one in the group really. He is Fëanor's third son and still deserve distinct design, not to be confused with any other. 4 points obviously, his device follows the conventional rules.

Caranthir, oh Caranthir, I always have a problem with him. Caranthir is the one I do not know much about. I do not have headcanons about him, I just do not know. I could not pick anything personal for him and there are not informations about him. We know Celegorm, Amrod and Amras were hunters, Maedhros is the heir, Maglor is golden and musician, who is Caranthir? He is known for his temper, the dark Finwë.

I chose dark moody colours and many many stars. Instead of one central star he has 7 of them. His device is wuite formal. Of course the reason is that I did not know what to do with him. Yet what is the in-story reason? Maybe he used to have different device in Valinor, but began to use this one in Beleriand. He must have some very good reason to slap so many stars in. Maybe because he managed the trade, he used this neutral, formal and very "Fëanor's son" screaming device?

I think that his Valinorean device might have some moths. Moths are suitable dark and moody.

Curufin, it was not hard to design. I wanted his device to be similar to Fëanor's, yet it shall not outshine Maedhros. Technically the device break rules as there are 8 sides touching, but Curufin was never a king. I think the yellow can be ignored as a "point." After all the same motif is featured in Maedhros'. I wanted to reapeat the Maedhros theme, because although he is the oldest, Curufin is most similar to his father.

For Curufin I had chosen gems as symbols. I think diamnods are very fitting for him. I had it on my mind the entire time from the beginning. The question was only where I am going to place them. I think the inspiration by Fëanor is also clear. I am not sure how Curufin felt about it later... he is always Atarinkë.

I have to do Celebrimbor too, but I think he had more than one device.

Amrod and Amras, I went a little wild with them. They are the youngest and therefore can have some fun. As such I chose more creative devices. Red maple for Amrod (because aesthetic, not really for the meaning) and oak for Amras. Oak is in many cultures regarded as the kingly tree. I think the devices are both similar enough and different enough to denote their relationship as twins while maintaining separate identities. Honestly Amros' device and Maglor's kingly Beleriand device are my favorites.

I would like to do Fingolfinwean and Finarfinwean devices as well, but I am not sure I'll have enough creativity in me.

[secretsideblogshhhh]

Imagine you live in a kingdom. Everything in this kingdom was modeled after the founder of the whole city.

This means the house sizes, the utensils, the clothes, every single thing, was made for him.

And for plenty of people this is fine. The clothes fit them, the cabinets are easy enough to reach, the size of the tools are perfect.

But you're a fair bit smaller than this guy was. The clothes are extremely baggy on you. You struggle to keep them on. They get in your way and you trip over them all the time.

You can't reach the cabinets, the tools are hard to hold in your hands.

Everything you do takes so much effort because nothing here was made for you.

But everyone else gets annoyed by this, not because of the system made that makes life hard on you, but because you're different.

They hate you constantly tripping.

You mention maybe getting a belt to help with that, and everyone you know gets mad at you for even suggesting it.

"you don't really need a belt"

"you could just take some growth medicine, get bigger"

"you don't deserve special treatment just because you're different"

"well everything works just fine for me, I don't know why you have issues"

And it's frustrating. The only person who you can relate to is your buddy Tim, who's a whole lot bigger than the guy everything was made for was.

His clothes cut off his circulation, they actively hurt him.

He hits his head on doors, he can barely use the tools because they're so small to him.

He wants to make his own clothes, but he can't afford it because he can't keep a job.

No one wants to hire a guy who can't hold the tools, or who needs a break every few hours so he can take off his clothes in the bathroom to breathe.

And even if he did manage to get the money, the tools are too small. He'd have to hire someone.

And hiring someone would cost so much more.

Of course the responses he gets are similar to yours.

"you're just lazy, it's not that hard to get and keep a job"

"have you tried just losing weight? That's probably what's causing all your issues"

You and him bond over this. How the world is cruel to you for being different. You found each other because of you were different from everyone else and it brought you closer

But then people see your friendship. It would be natural to assume that your friendship makes sense. You have the same struggles after all.

But no.

People see that you're friends and say

"well obviously you're both making up your issues, it's so rare for even one of you to exist. But 2 of you? You have to be lying for attention"

You try to show them that your issues are real, because you want help. You'd love for others to understand and help you fix the way the kingdom is built.

But people look away, they ignore you. Either pretending to not see you or they just invalidate your experience.

"everyone has rough days"

"you just got some poorly made clothes"

"He just wants an excuse so he doesn't have to work"

"if you just tried harder-"

Everyone seems to have some solution for your issues, ones you've tried a hundred times before.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on your existence. Usually pity or disgust. Often a mix of both, though the disgust isn't something anyone will admit to aloud. Their actions speak loud enough though.

That's how it feels to have a disability. Especially an invisible one. You have to fight just to be heard and it's exhausting.

Everything that you do is a struggle people who aren't disabled just don't understand. And it's infuriating how they write you off just because they don't want to even try to understand

[kitskiis]

I think the saddest part about secret life Joel is just how futile all of his actions are in that season. On a surface level i mean stuff like all of his more careful gameplay being cancelled out by a singular failed tnt trap but on a deeper level i specifically mean how that character contrasts with last life Joel. Joel is undoubtedly at his lowest point in the life series in Last Life. He goes down to red in session 2 and spends the majority of the rest of the season alone (and when he does have allies it’s only bc of a shared bloodlust). The red bloodlust completely takes over and this festers for nearly *8 sessions*. Not only that but the one time he is given a chance to restart and go back to yellow his old alliance member goes to red, leaving him alone again, and he is made boogeyman the next session. This, overall, has lasting consequences (he actually wanted to be fairly friendly at the beginning of LL, a stark contrast to how bloodthirsty he was at the beginning of DL or Lim L), and gained him a reputation that has never fully gone away. This is especially bad bc most people agree that LL was the most violent season (despite the lower kill counts in comparison to LimL) and was generally the worst and most traumatizing experience in the games for most people involved. Compare this to secret life, which everyone agrees was definitely the happiest season for Joel (or at least the most normal. His life is a tragedy no matter the season.) he has allies that (for the most part rip mumbo) stick with him until the end, he is friendlier with a larger group of people, and when he initially has to deal with the loss of some of them he has people who can ground him (bc as much as I adore the bad boys, grian was not qualified to do that). He was so hopeful that season, and was generally in a much healthier place mentally. And yet, despite how much he seemed to have grown, those 2 seasons ended so similarly for him it was almost comical. Joel engaged in a fight at the end, watched his ally get killed by scott, and is then forced into a 2v1 against Scott and another player that results in Scott taking his final life and him finishing 5th overall. I was describing both of those seasons here. After everything he did to grow, after all the improvements he had made, everything ended *exactly the same*

Making this about the bad boys for a second (because I’m me) they kinda suffer similar fates. Grian learned in the most tragic way possible that his allies were doomed to fail as long as he was with them no matter what, that this was not something that he could control by simply avoiding killing them himself. Even when he actively tries to save them (“let Tim do it he needs the time” “Joel you can kill me!”) he’ll still lose them in the end. I think this realization is also what made him stop trying to fight it, which resulted in him killing or almost killing his allies from previous seasons immediately afterwards (stabbing scar in the back and that one scene where grian kinda ominously jumps with a sword like he was about to crit and kill bigb after finding out he had 50 seconds left on his timer). It’s sorta like a way of telling the universe “fine. You win”

Similarly Jimmy. Well. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Even when he was given hope that things could be different, that he could break the curse, he died only a few minutes later. I still hold on to the narrative that the watchers only allowed that to happen to give Jimmy false hope that things can be different only to rip the rug out from under him and drive home the point that he is in a losing battle because by the time of secret life Jimmy was one of the only few people who genuinely still believed he had a chance. Obviously this is not something that can fully be a reality until he goes out first next season so if he doesn’t that’s a little awkward but just work with me here

TLDR; here is reason number 672 on why I believe the bad boys are the most doomed motherfuckers on this server and their alliance is a modern tragedy

[sunburnhurts]

Heyy!! I absolutely love your stories and I was wondering if you could do a Cedric Diggory x Female reader but enemies to lovers? Thanks sm!

Rivalry || Cedric Diggory x fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n and Cedric are both captains and seekers but on different teams, already creating a rivalry. When their 2 houses have a match, Cedric does something that created more tension with the 2. *More like 'rivals' to lovers*

Words: 1,705

All My Stories

A/n: so sorry it took so long for me to write this! I literally decided to delete the whole story and rewrite it when I was almost done because i hated it.. sorry! Idk how i feel about this story so lmk to delete it LMAO

Y/n sits in potions, trying her best to consentrate on Professor Snape's lecture, but her mind keeps wondering off to the upcoming Quidditch match, Slytherin vs. Hufflepuff. Being the captain of Slytherin, her mind was always on Quidditch, even when she knew she should focus on her school work. She tries to picture how the match will go, her catching the snitch, outflying Cedric Diggory.

Y/n and Cedric didn't know each other outside of the game. Of course Y/n's competitiveness would set a divide if they ever became friends, Quidditch always came before any friendship in her mind. Although she knew it wasn't a good mindset, she couldn't help it. The talk from around the school about how Cedric is so perfect, best Quidditch captain, good looking, and more, never made Y/n more fond of the boy.

Professor Snape eyed Y/n as he spoke, knowing her mind was elsewhere. "Ms. Y/l/n," He started, interrupting his own lecture. Y/n blinks, clearing her mind and turning her attention to Snape, her face becoming a bit heated. "care to repeat what I just said?"

Y/n looks up at her Professor, becoming a bit shy out of embarrassment. Slowly shaking her head, she replies, "I don't know, sir."

"Would anyone like to show that they were listening, unlike Y/l/n?" Snape coldly says, looking around the room. Although embarrassed, Y/n looked around the room, seeing multiple hands raised. "Mr. Diggory?"

A smug look appeared on Cedric's face as he answered, "You said that we will be learning how to create the potion, 'Draught of Living Death'. This potion can send someone into a slumber that is similar to death," He pauses, his eyes on Y/n, "sir." Y/n looks at him, her eyebrows turning down into frustration, her mouth slightly in a frown.

Obviously no one liked being shown up, but it was Cedric Diggory, so she hated it even more. What she hated even more was his smug face, slightly smirking as Snape says, "Very good, Cedric. 5 points from Slytherin, 5 points to Hufflepuff." Y/n finally breaks her death stare at Cedric, looking down at the desk in front of her.

~~~~

After giving a speech to her team in the shared locker room, Y/n puts herself into the mindset to win. As she leads her team onto the pitch, she looks over at the Hufflepuff team. Still frustrated at the situation in potions class, a dirty look was thrown to Cedric. Cedric turns his head at the Slytherin team, smirking at the obviously angered girl. He knew how to piss her off, and it was certainly working.

Hearing Slytherin being called, Y/n and her team hop on their brooms, flying around as the Slytherin section cheers. Y/n's mood lightens at this, the thoughts of Cedric gone. She then hears Hufflepuff being called, the Hufflepuff fans roar over Slytherin. Not minding this, Y/n focuses on the game, getting ready to play.

The game starts, Y/n immediately going for the snitch, Cedirc does the same. While points were being scored and announced, Y/n ignores everything, focusing on the tricky ball. The snitch moves fast, Y/n and Cedric flew side by side, slightly behind it.

After about 14 minutes of chasing the snitch, the 2 seekers were extremely high off the ground. Suddenly, the snitch flys down, making them fly quickly after it. They both reach out while still flying down, Cedric then bumps into Y/n, trying to get her out of the way. Feeling this, Y/n steadies herself, then bumps him back a little harder.

Cedric returns the bump, a lot harder then he intended it to be. He finally catches the snitch, a huge smile on his face. "Cedric Diggory catches the snitch! Hufflepuff wins!" Was said over the roaring cheers from Hufflepuff. Cedric was ecstatic, adrenaline still running through his body as he stops his broom, floating in mid air. He raises the hand that holds the snitch in the air, the smile never leaving his face.

Suddenly he is confused why Y/n suddenly disappeared. Although he was still smiling, a pity look was on his face. He knew Y/n was competitive, he assumed she stormed off already because of her loss. Cedric then looks as Y/n's teammates fly down to the floor, seeing Y/n hunched over, facing the ground.

When Cedric bumped into her the second time, he made her lose control. She got knocked off her broom, hitting the ground. She didn't fall too high out of the air, but enough for it to make a mark on her. Anger grew in her, Cedric just won the game and she knew she wouldn't be able to play in the next match.

Y/n sat on her knees, facing the ground hunched over, her hand holding the side she landed on. Cedric flew down, guilt rushing over him. He gets off his broom, running over to Y/n. "Y/n!" He says as he grabs her, helping her up. Y/n accepts this help until she sees Cedric.

Pushing him away, she says, "Asshole!" She couldn't feel the pain because of how angered she was, tears forming in her eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed as she was backing up, she was still facing him. He stood there, unsure of what to do. He knew she was angry, he was a bit angered at himself too, he also knew she was in pain.

Y/n turns around, storming off of the pitch as the pain starts rushing to her. One of her teammates helped her to Madam Pomfrey's office. Although still angry, Y/n answers the nurses questions about her pain nicely, not bringing her anger out on Madam Pomfrey.

Nothing was broken but Madam Pomfrey asked for Y/n to stay the night to see how she would feel in the morning. Even though she didn't want to, Y/n agreed and laid on a bed, taking the pain killing potion Pomfrey gave her.

After an hour of being alone with her thoughts, Y/n stares at the ceiling, replaying the events that just happened. God she hated Cedric. She didn't realize how tense her face was until she relaxed it when Madam Pomfrey came over to her to tell her a guest was here for her.

Y/n smiles and nods, watching the nurse call over the guest to her. She watches as Cedric reveals himself, pity in his eyes. Madam Pomfrey leaves, allowing Cedric to sit in the chair next to Y/n's bed. As soon as the nurse turned around, Y/n's face dropped, a huff escaping her as she watched him sit down.

"Y/n," He starts, looking her in her eyes. He noticed her hair was still messy from the match, her Quidditch uniform still on. "I'm really sorry."

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Y/n coldly responds, staring deep into his eyes. He nods, looking down at the bed for a second, trying to think of things to say.

"I know," He looks back at her, "I'm not going to leave you alone until you know how sorry I truly am."

Y/n scoffs, "Your little charming tacit wont work on me, so save it."

"Y/n, I'm serious, I didn't mean to hit you that hard, I'm truly sorry."

Y/n notices somethings sincere about him, she didn't know if it was the look he gave her, or his tone of voice, or was it both? She ignores this, her eyebrows tense as she looks at him. "Just leave, Cedric, you're wasting your time. Go celebrate your win." She says coldly once again.

He thinks for a second, still holding eyecontact so she knows how serious he is. "I'll leave you alone, but I'm not going to stop bothering you until you accept my apology." He says, getting up. "Goodnight, Y/n." He walks away, making his way out of the room.

Y/n spent the night thinking about Cedric, even though she told herself not to and to get rest, but she couldn't. She knew he was just trying to win the match, that's why he did what he did, she would do the same to win.

~~~~

Y/n got little sleep, an hour or 2 was the most she had her eyes closed for. She woke up less angry at Cedric, but she still was upset at her loss. Madam Pomfrey lets her stay in bed for a little bit before sending her to class with a note saying where she was and why she was late. Once she arrived back at her dorm, Y/n quickly took a shower, changed into her robes and got her books for class.

By the time she was done, it was potions class. She opens the door to the silent class, everyone turns around to see who was late. Y/n awkwardly walks over to Professor Snape who had his eyebrow raised at her. She hands him the note then walks over to her seat and sits down.

Y/n pulls out her potions book as she looks at what the person next to her was doing. She opens the book then turns it to the same page, reading the passage.

As the class went on, Cedric kept looking at Y/n, making sure she wasn't in visible pain. He noticed her hand on the arm she landed on, but it looked like she didn't know she was doing it. Once he even caught her glancing back at him, his eyebrows untense from worry as he saw her looking at him.

~~~~

Y/n sat in the library by herself, catching herself up from all the classes she missed. As she was doing so, the chair next to her was suddenly pulled out from the table, someone sitting in it. She looks over, her eyes laying on Cedric looking at the paper she was writing on. "What class is that for?" He asks, hoping to ease some tension. He also hopped this question made it so that she didn't shoo him away.

Y/n looks at him for a second, a silent sigh escaped her. She looked at him with an unreadable face, "Herbology."

Cedric nods, taking his eyes off the paper and looking at Y/n. "Um, how are you feeling?"

"Sore." She says shortly. Realizing shes being rude with her one-word replies, she says, "Nothings broken, obviously, but lots of bruising."

Cedric notices that she's continuing the conversation, taking it as a good sign. "I'm sorry, Y/n." He says with a serious face.

Y/n nods, her eyes leaving his for a second, then coming back. "It's fine, I probably would have done the same," she pauses, "but I probably wouldn't have apologized." She jokes, slightly smiling at him.

He huffs a laugh, grinning and slightly shaking his head. "I know you wouldn't." Y/n laughs, turning her head back to her paper. Cedric sits there for a moment, wanting to continue conversation. Before he was able to say anything else, his friends came up to him.

"Cedric, we're going to that Gryffindor party, lets go." One of them say. Y/n looks up at his friends as they pull Cedric up from the chair.

"Okay, I'll be right there." Cedric says as his friends walk away. He then turns back to Y/n. "Want to come?"

Y/n smiles at his offer, suddenly having a soft spot for a boy she just hated. "I have lots of work to catch up on, thank you though."

Cedric nods, returning her smile. "I'll see you later then, Y/n."

"See you," Y/n replies, watching him walk away.

As she finished her work, Y/n's mind kept wondering back to Cedric. She was glad she was introduced to his nice side, she was honestly getting tired of having a rivalry with him. She oddly felt closer to him, they've known each other for years, but their only interactions were all negative. But now, she felt comfortable with him, almost like they have been friends for years.

~~~~

It was now the next day, Y/n had a free period which she spent in the court yard. She had no school work to do so she sat on a bench, reading her book. The court yard was mostly empty, a few kids in different years were the only other people. She noticed someone walking to her out of the corner of her eye, she looked up.

She saw Cedric smiling down at her as he sat next to her, "What are you reading?" He asks, leaning down a bit to see. Y/n smiles at him, she placed her finger on the page she was reading as a bookmark and flips the cover over for him to see. He nods, a smile still on his face.

"You know you don't have to say you're sorry anymore?" Y/n jokes, assuming that's the reason he is coming over to her.

Cedric looks from the book to her face, laughing at her joke. "Yes, I know." He pauses, "Who would have thought I enjoyed your company?" She cracks a smile and scoffs a bit, not really believing him, wondering if he's just doing it out of pity.

Closing her book fully, not caring what page shes on anymore, she turns her full attention to the boy sitting next to her. "So, you have a free period?"

Nodding, he replies, "Yeah. I was walking to the library to study, but then I saw you and decided to say hi."

She smiles at his words, feeling no hatred for him anymore. "Well that's nice of you."

He nods, continuing to look at her. "I like this side of you, it's better than your competitive side."

"Yeah, and all it took was you to knock me off my broom." She jokes, chuckling a bit.

He laughs, "I would have done that much sooner if I knew we could be friends."

"Well how kind of you." Y/n laughs, subconsciously touching the side of her arm she fell on.

Cedric noticed this, his heart had a pang of curiosity and worry. "Can I see.. the bruise?" Although a bit surprised at his request, Y/n nods and rolls her sleeve up all the way to her shoulder. Turning so he can see it better, Y/n looks at the bruise herself. It was a lot worse than it was the day before.

Cedric's eyes widen a bit in surprise, guilt washing over him. He reaches out, gently moving her arm to see it better. Leaning in, he whispers, "I'm sorry."

Noticing the close proximity, Y/n gets a bit tense, slightly hitching her breath as she responds, "It's okay, I'll just get you back next match."

Cedric laughs, looking up at her. "I guess so." He pauses. "Hey, promise me we wont let competition interfere with us?"

She looks at him, feeling the seriousness in the air. Y/n nods, she is glad that there is an "us".

~~~~

The next week, Y/n and Cedric grew close, they bonded over little things that they never knew they had in common. Y/n sat in the bleachers, cheering Cedric on in the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw match. Once Cedric caught the snitch, once again, she couldn't help but have a huge grin on her face for him.

Y/n exited the bleaches, hoping she could catch Cedric before he made it into the locker room. While walking, she notices the Hufflepuff team exiting the pitch, everyone cheering Cedric on. Hearing this caused Y/n to laugh as she spots the brown haired boy.

Debating if she should call out his name, Cedric looks over at Y/n, his smile somehow grew. Her heart fluttered at this, even after he won a big game he was even happier to see her. They both sped up to each other, holding their arms out for a hug. Once they were in each others arms, Y/n shouts over the cheering, "Congratulations on the win!"

Cedric looks down at her, still hugging her. "Couldn't have done it if you weren't watching."

"So you were trying to impress me?" Y/n teases.

He laughs, "Maybe."

~~~~

The 2 spent their free period everyday with each other, sneaked glances in Potions class, and would bring up each other while talking with their friends. Their feelings for each other grew, one day it grew unbearable for Cedric. Y/n noticed a change in him right away.

While she sat with her friends in the Great Hall, Cedric would not take his eyes off of her. Y/n's friend pointed it out a few times during breakfast, her friend knew he was interested. Y/n looked at him, giving him an confused smile, all she got in return was a small smile as he continued to stare.

Unsure of his weird behavior, she decided to wait until her free period to see if he was still being weird. As soon as her class was over, she walked to the court yard to meet up with Cedric. Sitting on the same bench they always do, she watches as people pass by, walking to their classes.

Suddenly a hand reached out for her. She looked up at Cedric who had that same infatuated look on his face as he did at breakfast. "I want to show you something." He says, keeping his hand out for her to grab. Y/n looked at the hand, then back at him as she placed her palm on his.

Smiling, Cedric intertwines his fingers with hers, guiding her through the now empty hallways. Y/n recognized where they were going, the Astronomy tower. Glancing down at their connected hands, Y/n can't help but feel how intimate the moment seemed.

They climbed up the steps, finally arriving at the top. "You know I've been here before, right?" Y/n asks.

"Yeah," He pauses as he leads her over to the railing. "but have you seen that?" He points with his unoccupied hand. Y/n follows the gaze to many trees that have turned different colors due to the seasons changing. Y/n talked about wanting to see these kinds of trees and how shes only seen pictures. "Those are the ones you mentioned, right?"

Y/n nods as she looks out. She loved the sight of the trees, but she loved that it was Cedric that showed them to her more. Y/n looks over at him, a compassionate look in her eyes. Something came over her, she reached out and placed her empty hand on his cheek, looking deep into his eyes. "Thank you for showing me this."

Cedric's heart beat quickened at the feeling of her hand against his cheek, he lets out a breath. "Of course," A comfortable silence came over them, they were both thinking the same thing. "Y/n.."

Y/n felt her heart beat quicken as his hands are placed on her hips, letting go of her hand. She raised her hand to his other cheek, slowly bringing his face down to hers. Letting a subtle shaky breath out, Y/n places her lips on his, gently kissing him. He pulls her closer to him with the hands on her hips, kissing her back. The kiss was slow and passionate, it was obvious they were both waiting for it.

Y/n felt a smile against her lips causing her to smile in return. They separate from the kiss, looking each other in the eyes once again. They both smiled at each other, Cedric looked down at her, admiring everything about her face. "I really like you, Y/n." He quietly says, just in the right volume for the moment.

"I really like you too, Cedric." Y/n replied, brushing a hair that fell in his face.

The End

A/n: I lowkey hate this but yeah!!!!! I'm thinking of doing a fred weasley story...... thoughts??

[sunboki]

— WHEN THINGS WERE SIMPLE a Lee Minho fiction

⭐️ : Lee Minho(Leeknow) x fem. reader

TROPE. school romance, 90’s romance, bestfriends to lovers, online au, strangers to lovers, highschool au, small town au

WORD COUNT. 7.7k ☆ 37 minute read

WARNINGS. light cursing, deep conversation, two teenagers being madly in love(lmao), bankruptcy, anonymous online chatting between strangers — this is in no way recommending anyone to join anonymous chat rooms nor meet up with strangers irl!

AUG'S NOTES. this fic was heavily inspired by “Twenty Five Twenty One” (one of my favorite kdrama!!) and was based around the 90’s when today’s technology was just beginning, i hope you find this piece to your satisfaction! if so, please leave some feedback, thanks :)

PLAYLIST.

SYNOPSIS. Lee Minho, the newest resident in your small town, has already established a reputation as the Class President despite moving only a week ago. You, on the other hand, don’t really see the appeal, or maybe your schedule is too jam-packed to consider the prospect of boys. In the meantime, you join an anonymous chat room with this so-called "lino98," and eventually, the stranger recommends that you meet holding a yellow tulip and wait- is that who you think it is? 

or alternatively :

Whoever you’ve been talking to in that chat room was definitely not who you thought would be standing in Marronnier Park with a yellow tulip in hand.

1999.

“Hey! The sign says no throwing!” You scold, rushing to fix the arm to the statue as the tires on the boy’s bike screech to a halt.

And suddenly, it feels like everything’s in slow motion when the perfectly kept head of brown hair swivels back to face you, sharp jawline and piercing eyes belonging to a model-looking stranger you’d never seen before.

Thursday morning was when you first met Minho. Although, you didn’t know his name then, nor that this interaction－the daily magazine breaking your statue’s arm－would change your life.

.

.

.

His expression drops, looking rather bored despite your obviously frazzled (and flustered) state.

“How much?” The bewilderingly attractive boy asks, and it takes you a moment to register what he said, repeatedly glancing from the statue back to him like he was speaking a foreign language.

“It’s.. It’s priceless.” You huff, regarding the stranger with a hard glare as if he’d broken some holy vase or something.

He didn’t.

In fact, the only reason you felt so worked up was because once your parents saw the statue, you’d be grounded in an instant. You, on the other hand, could care less about the stupid piece of marble.

Something about his gaze sets you off, not to mention when he flashes a cheeky grin screaming nothing but trouble.

“Is that so? Then I guess it’s especially priceless now, huh.” He shrugged, kicking the kickstand up and hiking his leg over the seat.

You freeze in your spot, equally stunned with both shock and confusion.

Huh? Where is he going.

Is this guy serious!?

“What’re you- hold on- you can’t just leave!” Racing after him while he positively sped ahead of you on bike, you endlessly shout, slowing down to a halt after a few minutes to watch his silhouette disappear below the winding road traveling down to the village.

Hunched over to catch your breath, you mumble silent curses, dragging heavy footsteps up the small arrangement of stairs to try hiding the broken part behind the statue the best you can.

Brushing off your clothes and adjusting the straps to your bag, you start down the same way he left, stomping and groveling in your misery similar to that of a child denied their favorite toy. It’s quite a sight.

Tomorrow, you’ll give that attractive-Mail-Boy-whose-name-unknown a piece of your mind. You’re sure of it.

Entering the classroom, the first thing piquing your ears wasn’t Soyeon and Hyomin’s daily bickering match about the most random topics (the two you and Yuqi are certain are going to marry one day), but hushed whispering amongst each other.

So, accepting your role as a certified nosy person, you crouch across Yuqi’s desk, craning to make out her way-too-fast-to-be-normal conversation with Rei.

“Psst, Rei, what’s going on?” Blabbering on about whatever the school had been gossiping about, the girl swiftly turned to you, face alight with excitement.

“Have you seen the new guy? He’s an actor, I’m sure of it!”

…Of course. You should’ve known.

Nothing would have Taeyang High School falling over itself faster than a new handsome face.

How disappointing.

Not that you don’t appreciate a good looking person when you see one, but seriously, it could’ve been the upcoming volume of Full House or a class barbecue, something you deemed much more swoon worthy than a boy.

Yet, the transfer student who opened the door mere seconds later looked eerily familiar.

The Mail boy who mutilated your statue this morning is standing there, or are your eyes playing tricks on you? Maybe you’re sleeping at home and this is all a dream. Please be a dream please be a dream please be a dream- Ow!

Pinching yourself did hurt , you were awake, and it was Mail Boy at the front of the class introducing himself.

This week was already off to a great start.

Snapping out of your nightmare to notice him walking in your direction past giggling, lovestruck students to find a seat, you frantically shield either side of your face with your hands. Behind you, Han Jisung, your second best friend to Yuqi, cocks a brow as the boy fortunately takes a seat two rows ahead of you.

It feels like your heart is thundering in your chest with every breath you take, shaking your skull with it’s deafening beating. Any second now he could turn around, and you don’t know why, but the thought of that critiquing stare landing on you again gives you incessant goosebumps.

Sitting through homeroom has never been so suffocating-ly awful, and Jisung can tell when he comes over after class ends, plopping backwards in the chair in front of you to wince at the face you’re pulling.

“I’m cursed, Jisung—“ You childishly squirm, flopping around like some self-acclaimed grub.

Your classmate huffs a humorless chuckle, helping fix a messy strand of your hair before raising from his spot.

“Don’t worry, It’ll only get worse from here. ‘Want a Banana milk?”

Shitty Han Jisung and his shitty personality. Way to lift your spirits, asshole.

“You suck.”

“Two Banana milks it is!” He slaps the wood surface of your desk, breaking into an unaffected smile while hurrying off to the vending machines. Perhaps you’ll just mope till next class, brainstorm the easiest way to glue your statue back together and leave the country while you’re at it.

Abruptly, the minimal view of the classroom from where your head’s wedged between your arms is invaded by a green color, slowly peeking out only to be met with dollar bills waved in front of your face.

Now this had to be a dream. Han Jisung is never fast when it comes to vending machines, usually ogling at options the latest one installed in the cafeteria offers.

Also, for the record, he’s dirt poor like most of the students here.

“Fifty dollars for the damage.”

Damn it!

Still not a dream, because the crisp cash held out to you is none other than Mail Boys’ (a.k.a. Minho’s), staring down at you like you were some insect scurrying near his polished shoes... Or maybe that’s your interpretation of how he’s looking at you.

“This should cover any fees for fixing the statue, I don’t want to deal with you hunting me down every morning when I pass by.” He grumbles, patting the money next to your hand.

You gawk, amazed that he considered at all. What left you more amazed? How he had this amount of money in the first place as a student. Applying for a delivery job may not be so bad after all. That or he does own polished shoes, fancy clothes and a suit with his picture-ready hair and all.

He might as well scream in everyone’s face that he’s rich waving those dollar bills around.

“Keep it. It’s already bad enough it’s broken but it’ll be worse if I have money. Unlike you, I pride myself in being poor.”

There’s that terrifying, critiquing stink-eye again.

“..but my parents don’t, and they would think I stole something.” You quietly add, and Minho almost snorts, appearing to be having a difficult time withholding his bubbling laugh.

Before he can respond though, Jisung steps through the door, stopping in his tracks upon noticing what's going on, beverages in hand.

Noticing the elephant in the room, Minho slides the money closer your way and walks out, leaving you with awkward silence, fifty dollars, and too many questions.

Well, until both Banana milks slam down and your friend snatches the bills with a loud gasp, boba eyes round as saucers.

“Holy shit! I haven’t seen fifty dollars in like, four years. Is that Minho guy your secret boyfriend? Was that why you were acting so weird earlier?”

Not helping with the too many questions part, Jisung. And a secret boyfriend? Does this guy even know you?

“Absolutely not,” You cross your arms, being sure he sees your excessive eye-roll. “He broke my statue.”

In those few seconds of silence you swore he went through at least eight phases of contemplation trying to figure out the context attached to what you said, deciding to just blankly squint till you spilled your guts.

“So you’re telling me,” He points his finger at some imaginary diagram on the desk, focus flickering in every direction trying to connect the dots. “That Mail Boy, no, Lee Minho, threw the newspaper, broke your statue and ran off? This morning?”

There’s a doubtful lilt to his voice while you hurriedly nod, praying the boy will believe you despite how insane it sounds—despite how insane it really was.

“And this isn’t because he’s attractive?”

You cough.

“I mean, he’s attractive, but-“Aha! Finally! A prospect! Looks like my lovely Y/n won’t die alone after all.” Jisung places an over dramatic hand over his heart and you open your mouth, ready to tell him off before the bell rings and all hope of earning any sympathy flies out the window.

Nonetheless, confessing your grievances to the ferociously blunt Yuqi and expecting the newest volume of Full House after school wasn't usually the highlight of your day, but you've come to accept anything away from Mail Boy should be counted as a highlight at this point.

Come to think of it, you haven’t seen the god forbidden statue-killer since morning class.

Eh. He’s probably massacring some more neighborhood statues. He seems like he’d have weird hobbies anyway.

“Sounds a bit like you’re into him if you ask me,” She chews her sandwich, and you might’ve thrown up in your mouth a little bit.

Absolutely not. Your education is far too important to be interrupted by this transfer student. Plus, he also seems uninterested in love, right? It works out .. totally.

“C’mon Yuqi, you know me. The only thing I’m into is good grades and college admission.” You slump against the bench, absentmindedly stealing a few grapes from the girl.

Seriously though, falling in love is not on your roster for high school. At least not for now.

Nope. Take it back. No love. None. Nope.

Yuqi gasping like someone stabbed her seems to pull you from your loophole headspace, grabbing your arm excitedly.

“Oh my gosh! Doesn’t Volume Eleven come out today?” She says, and you might’ve just ascended to heaven.

Ah. Forget good grades and college admission, you’re in love with Full House. Save the boys for later.

She didn’t need to say anymore, because in the blink of an eye you were full sprinting out the gates, mind trained on one thing and one thing only.

Practically singing to yourself with glee, you swing open the door of Myeongjin DVD store, calling out an equally singsong, “Sir— did you save the newest release for m-…”

Huh.

You know those scenes in movies where all the music stops and everything seems to just freeze? Yeah, this was one of those moments.

“Hm?” Is what he responds with.

What Lee Minho responds with, working behind the front desk sorting through rentals.

Come to think of it, this is the first time you’re calling him by his actual name and not Mail Boy.

Strange.

“Ah.. Ahem .. The new volume of Full House, is it saved for me?” You gradually pique, bouncing back and forth on your heels.

Things should be settled by now between you two after he paid you back and all, but you just couldn’t seem to shake the awkwardness compiling in your gut. Like this strange boy that showed up (literally) on your doorstep would get you into trouble.

Placing the book he’d been checking down, he picks up a bulletin board, finger scouring the titles before glancing at you.

“Full House? Nope, we’re all out.”

“Thanks- WHAT?! Look, you might not know, but I’m pretty much the owner’s daughter,” You explain matter-a-factly, cocking your brows expectantly. What kind of stunt you were pulling you didn’t know. Either way, you’d use the many years you lived here before him to the utmost advantage.

Turns out, you definitely should’ve remembered how Lee Minho earned his reputation in the first place.

“So sorry, he didn’t say anything about his beloved daughter paying a visit today.” The man in front of you leans forward, head tilted in a conniving manner.

What. A. Prick.

Jesus he looks good right now.

Opening your mouth to bite back, deja vú plows through like a bus when he cuts you off, light smirk gracing the edges of his lips. Mocking, like when you first met. Mocking.

“But, I’ll be sure to tell you when more are in stock. Deal?”

Oh how you want to beat his stupidly handsome face in.

“Deal.”

Settling down into your chair and repeatedly clicking the cream colored mouse, you watch the blue background fill the screen along with the other person’s username.

Only on stressful nights would you log back into the anonymous chat rooms. Except today wasn’t necessarily stressful, more just leaving you in denial without Volume eleven in hand.

Somehow, these conversations were thrilling in their own, odd ways. Not knowing if the person is your best friend or your worst enemy made the experience all the more fun.

Recently, you'd begun chatting with Lino98, a kind person who apparently moved not too long ago. They gave you the best advice and would always joke around like friends while you talked about love, grades, and anything at all.

In a sense, they were your friend.

YOU: Lino98?

LINO98: Hm?

YOU: What do you want to do in the future? Now that we’re getting older, I’ve been thinking about it a lot

LINO98: Well that’s a random question

YOU: Shhh just answer

LINO98: Okay okay, mine is way out there and pretty unrealistic for a student, but

LINO98: I want to be a dancer

YOU: Wowー dancer? As in, dancing on stage?

LINO98: What else would a dancer do ㅎㅎ

YOU: You know what I mean!! But being a dancer is a good dream. You’ll have to work hard, but it’s your passion, so I shouldn’t be one to judge

LINO98: You’re sweet, saying that

YOU: Hey hey don’t get all sappy

LINO98: I mean it ㅋㅋㅋ

You smile, fingers rapidly typing to keep up with the replies. They had a wild dream, sure, but Lino98 had their own aspirations, and you wondered if maybe in the future you’d see them on TV.

See them in real life. Now that was a thought. Heck, you didn’t even know if they were a boy or girl.

Oh god, what if Lino98 was one of your classmates? Worst case scenario it’d be Minho.

Although, that would never happen, the chances were too slim.

Too slim.. but not impossible. In fact, very much possible because no matter how small the chance is it could always become realit- “Y/n!”

You jump, reaching to turn off the old monitor.

There’s a shuffle outside of your door, the woman’s head peering in momentarily. You have an idea of what she's going to say next seeing you in front of the computer.

“You’d better not be on those chat rooms, I told you they’re dangerous. Also, could you run to the market? I’m missing bean sprouts.”

Bingo.

Patting the doorframe, she disappears once more.

You know she’s right. Sure it could pose a threat, but you’re a student, and adult things like being worried about safety could come later.

However, running into Mail Boy there could also come later, and you debated on turning around before he noticed you. That was, until you remembered the unfortunate errand you’d made the trip for in the first place.

.

.

The last person he expected to find at Ahyeon Market was you, looking equally as shocked with his appearance here as well. Still clad in uniform, he motions from his place on the outdoor bench, patting the spot next to him.

If gears could literally be seen turning in someone’s head he's certain he would have witnessed an entire mechanical process by now, rather amusedly analyzing your angel and devil conversation with cat-like observation.

“I don’t bite y’know,” Breaking the quiet lull, he clicks his tongue, earning a suspicious look.

“And how am I supposed to believe you.” Question rhetorical (he assumes), you approach him slowly, testing, like he’d pounce at one wrong move. The tempting urge to jump and scare you briefly crosses his mind.

“Because,” He bites back a grin. “Our Volume eleven pact, remember?”

Almost instantly, the tense atmosphere dissolves and you plop down beside him followed by hushed “Yeah, yeah”'s muttered under your breath. Barely twenty seconds pass though before you’re bolting to upward (and ironically scaring him instead), glancing left and right.

“I’ll get some Banana milk.” You bolt to the small fridge unit, lips focusedly pursed cashing in your coins.

Minho can’t help but smile to himself at your unbothered-ness, your easiness. You’re kind, not to mention brutally honest on occasions. It’s reassuring being around you, like he doesn’t have to worry about anything. Like, in some sense, his youth is returning to him. Piece by piece.

“Here.” Your voice has his head swiveling, holding a small cartridge for him to take.

“So.. Why’d you transfer here?”

He stares at the drink for a while, though your eyes never stray from his, observing him contemplating, thinking. Cat-like, you agree. Minho greatly resembles a feline.

“You like this stuff, huh.”

“Jisung got me hooked on it, you don’t want it?” Knitting your brows and greedily pulling the drink to yourself, he’s quick to reach forward, grabbing your hand in his.

You hesitate, both frantically searching each other's face before Minho snatches the Banana milk from you, tone suddenly doused in nervousness.

“No- I do, thanks.”

Liar. He hates Banana milk, but he’ll drink it. For you he will.

There’s that feeling again, blooming in his chest and warming up his entire body.

Weird.

It’s like he’s a three year old crushing on his classmate again, awkward and young. In love.

Anyone unlucky enough to witness this obvious pining deserves a written letter of apology.

“Mm..” You hum quietly, aggressively poking your straw through the paper lid.

Minho’s lips form a tight line, fixating on the rotation of his own straw as he aimlessly moves the drink in his hand from side to side.

“My family went bankrupt. That’s why I moved.”

Pausing your movement, you nod quickly and he feels a pang of guilt strike his chest. He shouldn’t have told you that, should’ve kept the comfort and ignored the question. Way to ruin it, jerk.

“What was your first impression of me?” Changing the subject, he clears his throat from the chilling air. So long for the summer heat.

“First impression?” You mimic, appearing deep in thought for a reason he couldn’t help but feel nervous about. Nervous for what, he couldn’t name.

There were lots of things he “couldn’t” when it came to you. It makes things interesting, makes you interesting. Life isn’t boring when with you, something he realizes the longer you accompany him, vice versa.

He can’t make sense of the feeling, ironically enough. Another “can’t”.

“Well, If you want me to be honest,” Glancing over at him from your earlier focus on a neon road sign, you lift your brows, awaiting his signal to go on.

“I thought you were cold, rude, not to mention a pain in the butt. Also, I’m not kidding when I say I was convinced you were a rich and spoiled brat-“ Rapid waving of his hands in front of you stops your train of thought.

“Are- are you being serious or just insulting me.” He interrupts, deadpanning while sending you a rather confused, nonsensical look.

“Dead serious. You wanted the truth after all.” You shrug your shoulders and Minho chokes a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

Unbelievable. Absolutely, unforgivably, unbelievable.

“And what about now?”

More thinking.

“You’re nice to be around, but still a pain in the butt.” Shuffling on the pavement, you pull your coat tighter around yourself, gaze flitting to the crack of smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

With the streetlights automatically turning on, without response, simply a soft look from the boy, he steps forward and wordlessly beckons for you to follow.

Walk home with me, an inaudible invitation, and you tag along accordingly.

He doesn’t want to go home, but he won’t tell you that. In fact, he dreads going home to a silent house. He won’t tell you that either.

Truth being, Minho hadn’t been this happy in ages, and being by you, talking to you, getting to know you and everything in between has brilliant shades of color decorating his black and white world. If only he could muster up the courage to tell you that.

“Shoot!”

Panickedly facing you, surprise lay evident on his usually unwavering features.

“I forgot bean sprouts! Hold on, I’ll be right back.” You pronounce, disappearing inside the Market with the boy right on your heels.

Arriving at the register, he places his wallet on the counter before you could fetch cash from your pocket. Turning to him, you poke an accusing finger against his chest, fixing your attractive friend with a hard stare.

“Minho, I told you rich people paying for poor people isn’t ‘nice’, it just makes us look pitiful.” You pout, and the boy resists the overbearing urge to coo not only from how unfairly adorable you look right now but hearing his name come out of your mouth for the first time as well.

Adorable. What was he thinking using a word like that anyway? He meant something else .. another, descriptive word for something cute… Nevermind.

“Think of it as me paying you back for the Banana Milk.” Giving in the tiniest bit, he lands a small nudge against your side, earning an equally playful shove back.

Laughter envelops the both of you, walking from the store with bean sprouts in clutch and pink hues decorating your cheeks whether from giggling or something else. Swinging the bag beside you, a fleeting thought of holding it for you crosses Minho’s mind. Should he? What if you say no and things become awkward again?

God, why is he complicating things so much recently. Just do it, Minho. It’s not that difficult.

“You know how much I gave the cashier for those drinks?”

Quickly pulling his hand away from where it reached for the plastic, his grimace becomes instantly replaced with feigned curiosity in hopes you didn’t notice.

Holding eye contact has never been difficult for Minho. In fact, he’s a pro at it …with everyone but you. So when you study him with those brilliant eyes, he can feel his ears burning bright red.

“Yeah? How much?” He mischievously replied, watching you light up.

You have a particular smile, the one that transforms your face so prettily, the one that makes his heart thunder in his chest. He really likes that smile.

“Ten dollars. Can you believe it? I could buy a mansion with that money.” You hum sarcastically, tumbling all over the sidewalk while being kindly beckoned away from the road by the concerned boy.

“Hey Minho?”

He turns to you.

“What do you wanna do when you grow up? Y’know, after High school and University.”

Opening his mouth to respond, he can’t help but find the question eerily familiar.

“Since I was a kid I wanted to be a Dancer. I actually auditioned a few days ago, but I probably won’t make it.” The dark haired man humorlessly laughs, actively avoiding your attention.

You frown, he doesn’t notice.

“You don’t know that. I don’t know what I want to do, but riding in a sports car sounds nice. It doesn’t have to be realistic, we’re young.”

There it is. This was the easiness he was thinking of, your unbothered-ness. All of the things he finds himself smiling about. The things he looks forward to dropping off your mail in the morning to see.

“..A sports car?”

Once comfortable silence interrupted by his snickering, you wack his arm for the nth time that night, sending him a faux glare.

“Oh look! It’s my stop!” You interject, hiking up the stairs to turn around and see him looking up at you, eyes crinkled with a small smile adorning his face.

“I’ll see you tomorrow! Goodnight, Minho.”

Minho thinks you're very, very cute.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

Minho hopes you think he’s cute too.

Days go by, some long, some short, with August feeling extremely drawn-out and uncomfortable—leaves gradually beginning to brown for autumn.

As for September, you’re still waiting for Volume eleven from Minho, incessantly dropping by the DVD store to annoy him into leaking some info about when the next batch will be shipped.

“It’ll be next week”, “It’ll be next week”, “It’ll be next week,” is what he always says every week until you’re quite certain next week has happened four times already.

On a different note other than your Full House dilemma and impending exams, Minho had been elected Class President, Soyeon and Hyomin are getting closer to officially dating (from you and Yuqi’s observations), and Jisung is currently keeping count of how many girls confess to Mail Boy each semester.

Don’t ask about the last one.

Expecting someone like Yuqi to be running up to you so early on your walk through the school gates, you blink twice to realize it’s Minho instead, something in hand and positively glowing with cheerfulness.

“Y/n!”

Spinning around, you mirror his overwhelming energy and narrowly dodge getting run over in the process.

“Guess what.” He grins, looking scarily enthusiastic compared to usual.

“What?” You ask, already lost in the way his caramel globes for eyes seem to practically sparkle.

“I got accepted! I’m going to be a trainee!” Shoving the acceptance paper in your face, you scream, covering your mouth in disbelief.

To say you both jumped is an understatement, basically frolicking around the courtyard like lunatics. Well, before you realized the entire jumping and frolicking thing and hurriedly returned to your normal, stiff high school selves.

“Also, the Full House shipment came in this morning.”

…

He’s kidding. You’re kidding.

Oh my god you could kiss him right now. Good thing you didn’t say that out loud.

Running as fast as you possibly could with the boy yelling for you to slow down, you mercilessly slam the door open, manically searching through boxes until the beloved, astounded, mystifying book rests peacefully in hand.

Heaven’s gates should’ve opened up by now.

Taking his sweet time as if this wasn’t one of the greatest moments in life, your counterpart casually strolls up to the register, appearing to check out the rental despite holding your precious book hostage after scanning the barcode.

“You don’t care about me making the cut, do you?” He pouts, lip pitifully jutting out.

Mouth left agape, you swiftly bite back what you’d planned to say about the deal, stumbling over sentences to find an excuse.

“I do! I swear! Now give me the book.. please?” Sporting the most genuine tone you could manage, you snatch the book he begrudging lowered down, hugging the prized possession close to your chest.

“Fine, liar.”

Yikes, talk about a grumpy face. He looked like a kicked puppy. You didn’t even think that expression was possible for Lee Minho.

However, you also didn’t think it was possible to feel sort of upset about it. Not his grumpy face, no, but him getting accepted. Wasn’t this a happy occasion? Volume eleven was released and finally in your possession and your friend was now going to be a trainee, now going to chase his dream of becoming a dancer.

So why did you feel sad walking back to school?

It felt wrong, you felt wrong, and the disgusting feeling only grew worse as the day went on. Heck, looking through pages and squealing with Yuqi—an activity that normally helped lift your spirits—didn't feel as reviving.

Later that day you asked him when he’d be leaving to train, leaving for Seoul, far from here. You dreaded the question, but at least it gave you time to prepare in a sense.

“January,” he replied, eating his apple as if it wasn’t the end of September, as if your heart wasn’t splintering into a billion tiny pieces.

Perhaps somewhere, hidden in his unaffected façade, he felt a tad bit upset like you did.

‘It doesn’t have to be realistic, we’re young.’ You recalled assuring him at Ahyeon Supermarket back in August, thinking it wasn’t going to be real, believing it wasn’t going to become reality.

If only you had known.

Adult things were climbing from the busy city into your small town. You weren’t ready.

So when life becomes increasingly overbearing, you log back in.

YOU: Today has been so draining.. I want to wake up and everything to be a dream

LINO98: Need to vent?

YOU: I thought you’d never ask ㅠㅠ

LINO98: Alright alright, go on

YOU: Well I have a friend, and he’s getting to do something he’s always wanted, but it means he’ll have to go away for a while and I can’t help but feel sad

LINO98: Feeling sad is normal, there’s nothing wrong with that

LINO98: It makes you feel like everything you’ve done with them was taken for granted, don’t you think?

YOU: That’s exactly what it’s like

YOU: If you're okay with it, could we meet up and talk? I mean, we’ve been talking for a while now and I just thought

LINO98: Would Marronnier Park work?

YOU: Didn't think you’d be so willing

LINO98: What can I say, we work well together

YOU: How will we find each other though?

LINO98: Hm.. theres that flower shop nearby, right? Bring a yellow tulip and I will too, good?

YOU: Tomorrow at noon?

LINO98: I’ll be there

Yellow tulip, noon, tomorrow. You sigh a stretching grin, clicking the small exit button before flopping onto your bed.

Only downside of this would have to be your inability to sleep, mind unable to calm itself down as you lay awake. Tomorrow you meet Lino98, someone truly cherished for all their help and kindness.

Eyes slowly drifting closed, you can’t help but hope meeting them in real life will ease some of your troubles. Even just a tad.

Springing from bed that morning, you make your daily stop at Myeongjin DVD store, attempting to drag Minho outside to grab dessert with you while he complains of having plans.

You grumble, growling to him you’ll enjoy the sweet treat more by yourself, his saccharine farewell fading into the distance as you close the door behind you.

Luckily, there wasn’t anything that could truly damage your happiness today(despite really wanting to get desserts with Minho) while picking up a yellow tulip on your way to the meeting location.

Gosh, your stomach was doing backflips right now.

Locating the park’s sign, you stopped and patted yourself down for a moment.

Alright. Now time to start guessing. Would they be a girl? Be a boy? Maybe they’d be Yuqi. That would be hysterical. You mean, you’re soulmates at this point, it’d make plenty of sense.

Venturing inside, you shuffle between people in search of the same flower being in someone else’s grip till finally spotting it, hidden between two people in front of you.

If they would just scoot over a little bit.. there! Now you can see ...them.

Oh.

Making eye contact, you watch them realize, beginning to back up.

You don’t know why you run away, you don’t know why your legs won’t stop and why the person keeps calling out behind you.

Funny that the slim chance you mentioned turned out to be true.

Today you met Lino98, someone you'd truly cherished for all their help and kindness prior to learning who they were.

Today you met Lino98 at Marrionner Park holding a yellow tulip, but the person in front of you was Lee Minho, flower in hand and staring directly back at you.

December gradually rolls around, and usually you’re ecstatic seeing all the lights and festivals Taeyang High hosts as Christmas and new years approaches, especially with next year marking a new millennium.

After the news of Minho’s departure though, it’s hard enjoying the holidays knowing he’ll be leaving only a week or so into January.

No. You should soak up your last month or so. This is the most important part, you can’t be miserable when he hasn’t even left yet.

Despite how badly you want to see him all the time, nothing came easy with his identity revealed.

You weren’t angry nor embarrassed. And initially, you didn’t feel anything, you just stared at him across the park, wondering if all of these coincidences were dreams, your loneliness causing hallucinations of a sort.

Regarding the running away part, that was more of a “need to get my thoughts together” reflex, a desperate and last resort you now deeply regretted holed up in your room with Yuqi’s voice ringing through the home phone.

Yes, you’d like to say you dealt with the matter like a responsible almost-adult.

You didn’t.

“Yuqi… I’m ruining my own life and I can’t do anything to stop it..” You hiccup, loud sobs echoing through the empty household.

She clicks her tongue, once patient and understanding persona instantaneously snapping.

“Yah!” The girl shouts, and you flinch on the other side of the line. “Keep saying stuff like that and you really will ruin your own life! I know no one warned you that falling in love with him would be like this, but seriously, I am not letting you waste this last month avoiding each other!!”

In spite of her reprimanding you, her intentions are clearly aimed towards wanting the best for the both of you, and you know you should be grateful in return.

“I’m not in love with.. My god I am in love with him, what do I do—“ You drag out, dissolving into more cries.

It’s true, both her point and the fact that you’re unabashedly in love with him. All of it. From first meeting him, avoiding him, making up, becoming close and convincing yourself you weren’t looking for a relationship, and now avoiding him again. You’ve always had that feeling, that lingering affection teetering back and forth between the line of friends and lovers.

Although, your friend’s sigh suddenly gets cut off by another person, and you briefly wonder if her younger brother took it before making out the name Yuqi yelled in the distance.

“Yeesh you sound ugly when you cry.”

Is that.. Jisung?

“Han Jisung, give me back the phone!”

Jisung over at Yuqi’s house. Weird.

“Just one seconds this is important~” He whines, and from the sounds of it is also currently running away from what you assume to be a raging Yuqi.

“Okay so Yuqi, Soyeon, Hyomin and I are planning the craziest new years bash ev-“HAN JISUNG!” Phone finally finding its way back to the original holder, you can hear sly giggles echoing in the background.

She audibly groans and you can easily imagine her hands threading through long blonde locks of hair, probably visibly resisting the urge to bury her companion. You can’t help but smile.

Just so you know, only Jisung and I are here so don’t worry about the public humiliatio- aw shit there's thirty seconds left on the call- anyways, be sure to stop by my place on the 31st, we have a surprise for you!” Time limit ending without another word, you take the time to connect the dots with Jisung’s “new years bash” and Yuqi’s “surprise”, to expect a small party of some kind.

With those two arranging it, you don’t know what to expect.

Why not? The reasons to say no are basically nonexistent.

Christmas break officially starting, students clambering from school grounds, and your daily “avoiding Minho” schedule on hold now that you’re out till the end of January, the anticipation of this upcoming party creeps closer. That, and how you plan to talk to Minho.

You aren’t stupid, and you didn’t ignore what Yuqi had said about avoiding each other either, fully aware of how essential coming to terms was for the sake of your friendship, and at least for you, for the sake of your love too.

The real question was when, something you’re still trying to figure out on the 30th of December. Way to procrastinate.

Before tonight you’d never hesitated talking to Lino98 (Minho), deleting your message at least a dozen times before clicking the send button and preparing to hide under your comforter for the rest of the night. Keyword: preparing. Because when you anxiously peered between your fingers to see a response beneath your message, you might have just jumped out of your skin.

YOU: Hey, can we talk?

LINO98: I thought you’d never ask

YOU: About meeting up.. I want you to know I’m really not mad at you

LINO98: You can be honest, Y/n

YOU: I am, promise

YOU: It’s so much easier talking online than in person, but I really want to see you

LINO98: Same, but I doubt I’ll be able to say the same things in person

YOU: I think that’s something we can both agree on

LINO98: Hm

YOU: I’m busy tomorrow, but maybe the next day?

LINO98: Seems we still work well together

YOU: Don't say that, I’ll get PTSD..

LINO98: Sorry sorry ㅜㅜ

Little did you know you were both busy doing the same thing after nobody mentioned Minho would be at the party as well, too stunned to speak seeing him sit around the enormous pile of snacks and drinks laying in the middle of the floor.

However, you found it in yourself, not only because of the minimal time you had left but also because of your conversation last night, to move past the tension.

Like adults.

What a bizarre phrase coming from you.

And it looked as if he felt the same too.

Lively conversation filled up the small space, and six kids, six adults, sat around an army of junk food and held a pitiful excuse for a party while using this time together to forget, if just for a moment, about life outside the room.

You couldn’t have had more fun talking and catching up, not to mention the curdling screaming when Hyomin and Soyeon announced that they were officially dating, bouncing around whilst stuck in Yuqi’s bone-crushing hug of delight.

The clock ticked on the wall, and after hours of bringing back old memories and suggesting new ones, a few attendees began to slip away, gradually leaving only you, Minho, and Yuqi to occupy her living room.

She yawned beside you, half-lidded eyes making her sleepiness rather apparent. Patting your shoulder, the girl rose up, trudging toward the door.

“Alright I’m tapping out, see you guys next year.” She quietly mused and you cracked a sarcastic laugh, both wishing her good night before the sound of the knob clicked shut behind her.

It’s just you two now, watching the live broadcast in a numbing peacefulness. It stays like that for a long time, basking in the presence you’d been deprived of after that fateful day.

You stifle a chuckle.

“It wasn’t my intention to fall in love with you, but I guess I couldn’t help it.” You wistfully smile, back leaning against the wall clad in your heavy sweater and socks.

You hear him take a deep breath.

“I could say the same,” He whispers, eyes trained on the celebration airing on TV. “I bet you were upset that I’m Lino98.”

You pull your knees closer to yourself, listening to the two minute warning the reporter announces.

The room once busied becomes quiet apart from television chatter and your hushed talking. In a few minutes it’ll be a new Millennium, the 2000’s.

You should feel happy, knowing you’ll graduate soon, knowing that a new year is beginning. You’ve tried, truly, but you can’t find it in yourself, not with the circumstances.

“I’m not upset. I was just being selfish because I didn’t want it to be any harder seeing you leave.”

The circumstances seem to steal everything away. Minho must know that much better than you do.

Except you have this moment right here, right now, that the circumstances haven’t taken away yet.

He utters a pained sound, a sound that feels like crying. You don’t dare say anything.

“Don’t people,” He stops, waiting for you to look to your right, look at him and his glossy eyes. You’ve never seen Minho emotional, and you wish you never had. It feels cruel. Immeasurably cruel.

“As I speak, we have ten seconds till 2000.”

He opens his mouth again.

“Kiss on new years?”

You can hear the countdown begin.

“Ten!”

Minho has a wistful smile, dancing from your eyes to your lips.

“Nine!”

Should you take the chance?

“Eight!”

Will this hurt you?

“Seven!”

Haven’t you been hurting enough?

“Six!”

He’s leaving in a few days.

“Five!”

It’s now or never.

“Four!”

You lean forward, lips softly connecting with his. They’re soft, his lips, and he angles your head from side to side with a gentle touch, palms enveloping your cheeks, holding you close. Your skin feels like it’s on fire. Everything feels like it’s on fire. Ferociously alight and blazing.

“Three!”

He whispers something between your lips, you can’t hear it.

“Two!”

Partially, you feel grateful you couldn’t.

“One!”

Fireworks burst in your peripheral, littering the screen with a bountiful assortment of lights and cheers.

The new year had begun, and so had a different chapter in everyone’s lives. Both your classmates, and especially yours and Minho’s.

“Let’s welcome the year 2000!”

2000.

LINO98: Don’t get too excited, but I’m outside your house, come quick

YOU: Didn’t we see each other yesterday?

LINO98: Are you saying you’d rather stay in? I thought you loved me

YOU: Fine you big baby, but I’m going back to sleep after this

LINO98: Sounds good to me〜

You groan, dragging yourself out of your covers at the speed of a turtle to organize the unruly chaos ensuing in your disheveled hair and pull on your shoes.

In all honesty, you can’t even remember how you got home last night, only recalling that Minho tasted like Coca cola and that you had a roaring headache.

Minho tasted like Coca cola. You kissed Minho.

Wow.

Maybe the adrenaline had taken over last night considering how your face erupted red merely thinking about it the next morning.

A honk sounds outside and you jump slightly, mind sifting through ideas of what exactly the boy had gotten himself into this time. With Han Jisung’s influence yesterday, you wouldn’t be surprised if he was in a fancy sports car or something.

Scratch that, he was in a fancy sports car, and you had to blink repeatedly to check if you were awake.

Did he have a license? Wait, nevermind, since when did he own a car?

“What is this, you may ask?” He gestures to the bright red convertible Mustang, tipping down the sunglasses perched on his nose with a cock of his brow. “Well, since I‘m getting to do what I wanted when I got older, I thought it was only fair you got to do what you wanted to too. Sports car, right? Hop in.”

Oh. My. God.

You just keep falling in love with Minho over and over again.

Breathing a laugh of disbelief, shock, and every other emotion making a pit stop while standing in your pajamas, you cross your arms, sending him a suspicious stare.

“And might I ask how you got your hands on this thing?” Smile threatening to appear, you stave down the urge, struggling to maintain your unconvinced poise under his watchful eye.

“Let’s just say I know a friend who knows a friend-“Y/n! What happened to our statue?!” Your mothers shouts from up the stairs and you practically leap into the passenger seat, frantically urging him to step on the gas.

“Only took her a few months,” Your personal driver huffs amusedly, quickly putting the vehicle in reverse to flee the scene. Ah.. You’re not looking forward to the trip home.

Luckily, you’re not home, and you hope you won’t be for a while. Instead, you’re driving through side roads with Minho and his stupidly attractive sunglass-clad self, and it feels like you’ve just started high school again.

Minutes pass, maybe hours. You wouldn’t have been able to tell, too caught up enjoying it. The sights, the smells, the sounds, all of it. Enjoying everything.

Slowing down to pull into a small alcove overlooking the ocean, the boy leans his seat back and you do the same, warm sun baking down on the dark interior. You reach a hand forward, fingers tangling with his.

“Can we stay like this forever?”

He smiles.

“Forever it is.”

2009.

Scooting the metal chair to the side, Minho takes a seat, adjusting the collar of his shirt that earns a few screams here and there alongside the merciless flash of camera shutters swarming in every direction. Today marks his first fansign as a group, as a member of Stray Kids by the stage name Lee Know.

Exhilarating, perhaps. Terrifying, also perhaps.

Initially, he was anxious, worried he’d come off as cold and rigid followed by the other lovely assortment of offensive adjectives you used to describe him standing outside of school that day in August.

Life was different then, just as it is now. Although, he’s not unhappy with how things turned out, nor how life changed since high school.

Tonight you’d text him (like you did every night since he first left) about the fansign, asking if he found anyone cute (the answer would always be you) and telling him about your day, your changed life.

He’d listen, give his most-always teasing input, smile at your equally teasing retort and tell you to eat well and take care of yourself.

“Good morning Minho— ah, wait, I should call you Lee Know now, shouldn’t I?”

A voice stirs from in front of him and he’s certain he’s officially going insane. But no, it does belong to you, in the flesh, mesmerizing eyes disappearing as you grinned while plopping down onto the stool below.

“Do me a favor and act really obsessed with me for a minute, I want to make your fans jealous,” You giggle, leaning closer to whisper the petty request.

In the midst of his shock he scoffs, appearing profusely offended.

“And you still suck at introductions. Not even a congratulations, ouch.” The brown-haired now-Idol frowns, behaving more like a child than ever before.

His status as a normal person might’ve developed (Minho was never a normal person), but he still retained the maturity of a twelve year old.

“Oh, dearest apologies my beloved Lee Know.” Basically gagging, you balance your chin on your hand, once teasing expression replaced with a smile that makes his heart downright ache.

“Congratulations on becoming a dancer, Minho. I missed you.”

sunboki, may 2022 ©

FIC TAGLIST. @dorisnumber1fan @mal-lunar-28 @httphans @virluna148 @bettybeako @grannyindehouse @minhaurloml @ylixbok @inkelea @luna585 @hyunbae-35

[akookminsupporter]

ARE YOU SURE?!: MY THOUGHTS ON THE EIGHTH EPISODE AND THE SHOW IN GENERAL

I know I might be sounding a bit repetitive, but I seriously can’t believe AYS is over. When it was announced and we saw it would last for weeks, it felt like such a crazy long time, but now it seems way too short. It’s just not fair! I want more!

The last episode was the perfect depiction of that final day of your holiday—one you don’t want to end for a million reasons. For Jimin and Jungkook, that last day was their last ‘Freedom Day’ (dramatic, I know!), so it makes sense that it felt a bit melancholic.

I have no doubt that Jimin and Jungkook are just like they were in AYS in their private lives. Even with cameras around, they felt more natural, more themselves. AYS didn’t feel like a show made for us; it felt like they were entertaining themselves and just decided to share it with us.

I loved the last episode because, as I’ve said non-stop these past weeks, I adore how relaxed it was. The slow pace of everything they did, the lovely domesticity—it’s honestly the main reason I love AYS so much. In this last episode, they seemed more laid-back, and Jimin appeared a bit more melancholic, which is totally understandable. I loved that they got to watch the first episode of the show and laughed as much as we did watching them have fun together.

They really tried all sorts of food on the show, and honestly, I hope they paid for it all with the agency's card, haha!

Jimin and Jungkook are incredibly similar in so many ways, yet also different—they’re uniquely the same if that makes sense. They get each other’s jokes, meme references, video clips, and songs. They understand each other's looks and unspoken words; it’s amazing to see. AYS showed us why they never get bored of each other and why they often say they spend hours talking. While others take a break or rest, they’re off playing, chatting, and laughing together. That’s why AYS didn’t feel forced or like just another job for them. It explains why they obviously enjoyed making the show and why they decided to keep filming after they wrapped in the US, even though that wasn’t the original plan. It also explains their comments about wanting to do something similar in the future—12 more seasons, according to Jungkook!

AYS didn’t confirm that they’re a couple or that they’ve been married for 40 years with 30 kids, but it definitely reaffirmed just how close Jimin and Jungkook are. It showcased how different their dynamic is compared to their relationships with other members, especially when Tae was around. If there’s one thing that should be clear after this, it’s that. The fact that they chose to enlist together should be the biggest confirmation of all, but I know for many, that’s still not enough.

AYS was perfect in every sense, from start to finish. I would’ve loved for them to talk a bit more about their decision to enlist together and even about making the show, but then again, it’s Jimin and Jungkook, and there are things they’ll never discuss. It’s frustrating, understandable, and a bit funny all at once.

I’m really going to miss waiting every Thursday for a new episode. I’m going to miss seeing all the different reactions to the same clips on my timeline. I’ll miss the comments on everything new they did and the joy of discovering another layer of Jimin and Jungkook’s relationship. But most of all, I’m going to miss Jimin and Jungkook. I reckon unless they’ve got more things planned, we won’t see them until June 2025. Sure, there are the behind-the-scenes bits and the concert DVD from Seoul, but…

The last clip we saw in the episode, the day they enlisted in the army, was a bit of a shock, and I felt it was a bit cruel of the editors to do that, haha! But at the same time, it was a realistic way to end the show because that was the conclusion of it all, right? The final destination for Jimin and Jungkook. The lovely thing is, they made that journey together, and even after that ending, they’re still together.

I can’t wait to see Jimin and Jungkook in 2025. I’m so curious to see how their dynamic changes after military service. I feel like if they were unbearable together before, they’ll be even more so after!

All I can say is thank you. Thank you, Jimin and Jungkook, for such a beautiful gift. AYS confirmed that seeing you happy makes me happy, and while that just highlights the parasocial relationship I have with you, I also know I’m in this for life.

I can’t wait for 2025!

Note: Here's my list of favourite episodes with links to the posts with each reaction and conclusion:

Second Episode

Sixth Episode

First Episode

Eighth Episode

Fourth Episode

Seventh Episode

Fifth Episode

Third Episode

[happynowyo]

Stubbornness, part 2

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of touch aversion, some smut

Summary: The early morning comes and you face some new opportunities along with the pleasure as Kaz's trying new things.

Word count: 3,1k

Part 1

After dawn you woke up with this weird feeling that you already had enough sleep. During the evening Kaz had been quite generous with lots of kisses and had distracted you with his caress, so it was entirely his fault that you'd just dreamt about someone caressing you. These intriguing images were still fresh in your mind. You blushed involuntarily and squinted sleepily as you looked around the small bedroom, lit by the soft dawn light.

Suddenly you froze and your eyes widened with surprise. You were definitely awake, but for some reason you could still feel someone else's touches. You realized what was happening so slowly, almost reluctantly, rejecting the frightening reality to the last. It was Kaz. It was sleeping Kaz who was really fucking touching you.

You tensed, and panic quickly filled your body. The incomprehension of what was happening overtook you as swiftly as the telltale heat, that made your cheeks visibly blush. Kaz's thin, strikingly hot fingers, meanwhile, continued their slow march under your T-shirt along your stomach and reached your ribs before they went up to your chest.

Your first thought was to bounce back and wake him up, to remember boundaries and decency and to ask, "What the fuck are you doing?". But the same question you could have asked yourself. An inner voice insisted on getting out of that bed, sprinkling everything with a massive amount of exquisite curses.

Because you didn't do anything. Curiosity became almost morbid, so you continued to lie quietly on your back with your right leg bent at the knee, holding your breath, just stiffened by every new touch. You knew that Kaz's feelings for you were real, and you were well aware of his ambivalent attitude when he was desperate to touch you and scared of doing so at the same time. But you couldn't imagine how much he was drawn to you, since his mind was able to break through the barriers created by time and make him forget about this eternal self-control at least in his sleep.

Was he dreaming something similar to what was happening in reality? Had it happened before? How did Kaz react to it? All of these questions seriously bothered you, but more important was how your body reacted to this unhurried caress. Kaz's fingers gently moved to your breast and squeezed lightly, making you swallow convulsively and tense up. Your stomach cramped with sweet anticipation, though your mind was still trying to find a decent way out.

Meanwhile, Kaz had his hands around your already hard nipple, playing with it unobtrusively. "God, make him stop", you couldn't take it. "No, don't stop".

Kaz's palm slid gently back onto your belly. His naughty fingers began to trace indistinct patterns, and your breathing quickened. The tips of his fingers literally danced on your bare skin and got closer and closer to the edge of your pajama pants, and that made the obvious desire grow stronger. You could literally feel how your underwear was getting wet, but Kaz's sharp sigh instantly caught your attention.

He was awake now, but his mind obviously needed some time to go into what was going on around him. You'd noticed this in the previous nights you'd spent together. The worst part now wasn't even that you'd have to throw an accusing and astonished question like "Why the hell did you touch me?" at him. It was that you wouldn't have found right words to respond to his fair one, "Why the hell didn't you stop me?".

His loud sigh repeated, and without even looking at him, you could imagine the shock that instantly overtook him at the realization that his fingers were freely touching your belly without the barrier of his usual gloves or an extra layer of clothing. Kaz tensed, but you managed to catch his hand, gently holding his wrist in its former position, before you turned your head smoothly to meet his worried and agitated gaze.

— It's all right. You didn't do anything wrong.

You needed to calm him down before panic took over his mind, so you tried to use the softest and most affectionate tone possible. Kaz's gaze slid tensely across your face, searching for a catch, and you were curious as to what exactly he had seen in his dream before. The question was already on the tip of your tongue, but you didn't want to add any more reason for Kaz to worry.

— But I did do something, didn't I?

His thoughts were like a disturbed beehive of bees, Kaz tried to catch at least one of them, but he was never successful. It was as if his whole being was divided in two. There was a part drowning in fear and growing panic at how close you were, and there was the other part screaming in a desire to go on and explore your body further, to find each of your sensitive spots and make you feel good. Kaz wanted to be able to overcome his past and his traumas, to learn how to give you the pleasure you deserved.

He didn't know much about sex, despite literally growing up on the streets of the Barrel, where carnal pleasure was a cheap currency. On any given night it was easy to spot couples in love lurking in dark corners and empty alleys. There was a brothel on every street that employed girls and guys of all tastes. Kaz used to think he was above it all and, therefore, better than everyone else. He didn't care about physical pleasure, he was so badly traumatized that the thought of even his own hands touching his body was frightening.

But meeting you changed his ideas and expectations about many things in a big way. Your careful healing touches became something almost sacred to Kaz, they were a real miracle that he was ready to worship, and that is why he always delayed to the last before accepting your help. Your presence was a gift at its best, and any physical contact between you was a real reward. At least for his patience and his efforts in how he tried to deal with his own demons.

If Nina found out that he still carried the title of virgin, she would never, ever let anyone forget it, but around you Kaz felt no embarrassment. You gave him valuable support and made him believe that he was needed and wanted for nothing. Kaz was used to everything in the Barrel being obtained through pain and blood, through money and power, and necessarily accompanied by the sale of his conscience, but you showed him another way.

You accepted him for who he was, and Kaz did his best not to disappoint you. And that's why, taking a deep breath, Kaz Brekker confirmed his longtime nickname, DirtyHands, and shifted his fingers unabashedly higher. He needed to see your reaction as much as he needed to see his own. The water remained somewhere outside his bedroom, and all he could feel with his fingertips was the warmth and softness of your skin.

You were alive, you stayed alive, and that gave him a little reassurance. He lifted his palm some more and gently cupped your breast, and his eyes were filled with such a mix of delight and apprehension and wonder that you were enveloped in a new wave of love for him. His concern for you was winning you over, and you knew that once you said a word, Kaz would instantly move away and never touch you again unless you wanted him to.

— You didn't do anything I didn't enjoy, sweetheart.

Your answer seemed vague, but the bunched sigh and hard nipples were a far better indication that you approved of what was happening. You still had trouble understanding the boundaries that existed in Kaz's mind. The relationship with him was like walking on a tightrope. Each step had to be thought through twice, and each one could be your last. Yesterday you could kiss his neck and he would be relaxed in your arms, but today you could meet him and he wouldn't even let you touch his palm briefly. Every day you had to start this journey all over again, not knowing if you would reach your intended destination.

But being on the sidelines was no longer possible. You wanted to be close and feel him with your skin. The glint of excitement in your eyes was becoming more and more obvious, so you took a risk and cautiously raised yourself up, leaning on your elbow to change your angle and look down at Kaz. Your gaze slid further along his body, and your eyebrows raised in interest for a moment when you noticed the familiar bump on Kaz's pants.

— Can I… ? — you asked cautiously, paying full attention to correctly recognizing Kaz's reaction. There was such a void in his head at the moment, he was focused solely on the feeling of your closeness, so he nodded mechanically, not even knowing what you meant.

But even that simple permission was enough for you. You moved swiftly closer and pressed your lips to his, squeezing his shoulder with your free hand. The kiss made Kaz shudder, but he quickly managed his anxiety, reassuring himself that it was you, and that he really trusted you. His body relaxed again, and then Kaz was able to seize the initiative, turning the soft kiss into a demanding and deep one, almost licking your mouth from the inside out.

He was constantly afraid that each time might be his last, that he would no longer be able to distract himself from the feel of water raising and the cold dead skin nest to his own, so Kaz showed all his fervor now, while he had the chance, while Jordy was pliantly hiding in the back of his mind and giving him valuable time with you in that dawn hour.

You didn't know which one of you made the leap, too engrossed in how well Kaz's lips touched yours, but the next moment you were already pressed against the bed. Your fingers followed the familiar path and found themselves in Kaz's hair, pulling the dark strands back. Even if his bad leg was making him uncomfortable now, he didn't show it. Such little things didn't mean anything to Kaz when he got to your neck, sinking his teeth into the soft skin with pleasure.

If someone had warned you that bloody Kaz Brekker would turn out to be so possessive, it would hardly have made any difference. You arched toward him and moaned briefly, knowing already that you'd spend a few minutes later staring at the fresh crimson marks on your neck in the mirror. Your hips clenched tighter around Kaz's legs and you thrust them toward him with obvious purpose. You needed to create a nice friction along his groin, though you still left it to him to pull away and not cross that line.

— I want more. I think.. Y/n, I think I can do this now. I can't bear the thought that I won't have a chance to be with you for real, and that you'll end up meeting someone else. I want to see you, — Kaz's trembling voice was so excited, so begging, that it shrunk something in your chest. It was incredible how hard he was trying for you.

— Just to see, hmm? We're not in a museum, Brekker, nobody's going to punish you for touching. More like the opposite. I could praise you, would you want that? I could tell that you're the best, the most diligent boy in the world? — you provoked him with a wide grin, pulling his hair back harder so that you could tilt his head back and let your tongue run wide along his neck. Exactly where his pulse was beating so often.

You didn't need to hear the answer. It was enough to see the dark flame of excitement in Kaz's eyes and his brief nod. You nudged him gently on the shoulder, and Kaz pulled back on the bed, giving you more space. He was barely breathing while he was greedily watching you take off your clothes. Healers were taught to get rid of embarrassment around their patients in the first months of training. You had seen exposed parts of other people's bodies many times, but no one had taught you how to hold yourself when you let someone see your own body.

— If I could paint, I would make your portraits every day. If I could play, I'd compose the best songs praising you, — Kaz said slowly, forcing himself to remember how to form words into sentences, completely stunned. — But I only know how to steal and cheat, so I'd steal you from everyone else. From Anderson, from Jesper and Nina, who you spend all weekend with. I'd like to be the only one who can see you like this. Being absolutely gorgeous.

Kaz Brekker wasn't a romantic poet, but he certainly knew how to approach a girl. A blush flashed on your cheeks at such frank words, but you managed it and pulled Kaz back closer to you. He was still wearing his clothes, and it created just the right contrast. It gave the illusion that Brekker was still in charge, but you both knew that it was really up to you.

— You can stop everything anytime, do you remember? I trust you and your ability to listen to yourself, you don't have to do something just because you think you have to, — you pressed your palm lightly to his cheek to make Kaz meet your inquisitive gaze.

— If I really knew how to listen to myself, I would have fucked you right on the table in my office three months ago right after that first kiss. But now I'm sure about everything, really.

Kaz didn't give you a chance to add anything else when he pertly shut you up with a kiss. You learned to work as a team a long time ago, so you joined in and guided his palm to your thigh, giving him a chance to run his fingers over the hot skin to begin with. You stopped straining to think about every detail, and the anticipation took over you entirely. You knew when the moment was right, and with a hidden smile you continued your lingering kiss as his fingers sank into the slick wetness between your thighs.

He didn't have the needed experience, but he had a great curiosity and a desire to please you. This made up for everything, and you gently pulled away from his lips, knowing that he would want to see exactly how his fingers touched you in your most intimate place. The tip of his index finger circled near your clit, pressing lightly, and you leaned against his shoulder for a moment, biting your lips to stifle the moan that was bursting out. Kaz was quick to learn and was now acting without your help, so you lay back, studying his too vivid emotions through your half-closed eyes.

— Have you imagined this before? That one day the trust between us would be so great that I could do something like this?

— I wanted that before there was any trust between us, — you admitted frankly, and a teasing smile touched your lips before Kaz caressed your clit a little faster, making you moan. — You were too handsome at the club. You walked into the room like you owned the whole building. And I also fell for your cheekbones and awesome sense of humor, I admit. But yes, hell, of course I wanted you and imagined stuff.

Kaz nodded, struggling to grasp the true meaning of your words. Passion filled his entire mind and made him even more greedy. He carefully memorized every loud sigh you let out, every moan. He enjoyed watching the way you crumpled the sheet in your fingers and the beautiful mess of your hair on the pillow. But he was more interested in seeing how eagerly you moved your hips against his fingers. Kaz knew what else you could have gone on. He was ready to die to know what it would be like to push inside your hot body and plunge his hard shaft all the way in, to drown in your sticky wetness. But tonight his stamina wouldn't be strong enough for that.

— I was dreaming about it. Before I woke up here, I had a dream about you. We were in an old house, similar to where I'd lived with my parents as a child, and we were fooling around in the bedroom. I could touch you there just like that, without feeling dead hands pulling me into the cold water, — any regret quickly disappeared from Kaz as he smoothly dipped two fingers inside your body.

Your loud moan merged with his surprised sigh. Kaz didn't expect his fingers to pass so freely, but the internal sensation of incredible narrowness struck him even more. Never in his life had he experienced such rapture, and his love for you strengthened in his heart. He moved his fingers with confidence, getting you faster and faster to a vivid orgasm with each thrust. You grasped his hand with such force that you must have left marks, but your pleasure was so huge and overwhelming that it made you forget everything around you. You whimpered Kaz's name again and again until he leaned down to kiss you, and you guessed from the tart taste on his tongue that he had already had time to lick his fingers, tasting you that way.

— Maybe one day we'll have a house like your old one and you'll be free of your fears, but until then, I'll be there to support you every step of the way, Kaz, — you whispered gently with a slight blush on your cheeks, before you pulled him closer and hugged him tightly, hiding the tip of your nose in his hair.

[olderthannetfic]

Seeing people in your comments say one anon is definitely another anon makes me sigh. This is why I quit RPing on DW. "I can TELL that this is the same player as [other character], you type the same way!" "I saw you on that anonymous meme! No one else talks like that!" etc. Idk why people get really into this when they hit 30 but like... hear me out... maybe more than one asshole exists on the internet? Hell, I'll be bold - maybe more than two do. Possibly three. (Though not four, obviously, let's not get carried away.)

It feels like people want to see conspiracies and connections in everything these days. And it's kinda sucky. Bc sometimes, there genuinely are a couple of assholes and that's it. There's no... idk, narrative? Arch? Connective tissue? Any of the above. There's just dicks.

Recently I got a comment on AO3 from someone who thinks I'm some author they used to read on FFN 20 years ago. 20 years ago I was 3. But "it's definitely the same voice" and "the cadence is a perfect match" blah blah blah... and now I have to deal with their meltdowns. Including self-harm threats. Bc it's more reasonable that everyone secretly be someone else than it is more than one person exists with a similar opinion.

Unchecked and untreated mental illness is fandom is a fucking plague. Sometimes I wish there were servers for, idk, stable people? People who aren't obsessive? Something like that. Just to get a break. Not everything is connected.

--

I agree that unchecked and untreated mental illness is rife... but the particular flavor that leads to "Everyone is lying if they say that life can be enjoyable and human connection exists" is relatively less common, particularly when we're talking about asks sent within a few month period to the same blog and covering similar topics.

I'm sorry some loon is bothering you about decades-old drama, but True Art Anon is extremely obvious.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

1989 - The story of two muses

Back to my first and forever love – Lyric analysis!

1989 is very close to my heart, and I have always found it noticeable that this album has quite a contrast between love songs about a very up and down/anxiety filled relationship on one hand, and the very raw and heartfelt romance as portrayed in ‘This Love’ and YAIL on the other.

And the 5 new vault songs we have on Taylor’s version now have added quite a bit of detail to the picture that emerges and I’m more convinced than ever that there are two distinct relationships/muses being described and I fancied doing a deep dive into how each one is described in the music and how the themes connect to other songs. (And it may even explain the beach theme 😉)

Ok, so, I have actually sorted every song from 1989 that is about a romantic relationship, including the 5 new vault tracks, into this scheme (even though I found some really hard!)

Muse 1 – “The heartbreaker” This relationship is described as very up and down, very anxiety-driven, something you can’t walk away from like an addiction, “against your better knowledge but can’t help myself” kind of way. Taylor has described this person as ‘the one that might one day interrupt your wedding, because you’re never truly over’.  Break up: ‘you left me’.

Muse 2 – “The one that came back” While this relationship is by no means described as perfect, it has a very different tone to it. It’s very much based in secure feelings, ‘us against the world’, any difficulty faced is worth it. Break up: ‘had to let it go’. And the person came back when it counted.

(Sorry about the pictures, I couldn't fit a table in any other way)

I am really impressed with how much just five new songs have furthered the story of these two relationships and I (personally) love how much this is filling in the blanks and makes everything make so much more sense. 'You can hear it in the silence' vs 'Now your silence has me screaming' almost killed me, honestly. She really found the love that needs no words. 🥰 And the direct contrast of the metaphors, one relationship as an addiction with very high highs and very low lows, and the other as the calm waves on the shore that continually come in and out with the tide, is just so masterfully done, I love it. And I think given the beach theme of the 1989 TV covers, we can guess which of the muses is being honoured in this re-branding.

Lyrical connections to later albums

Perhaps not surprisingly, these two muses and their lyrical themes show up again in Taylor’s music in later albums. The connection I’ve already seen a lot of people make is the playing cards reference from Say Don’t Go (‘I’m trying to see the cards that you won’t show’) linking to Cornelia Street (‘back when we were card sharks, playing games’). And I love how this tells the story of someone whose previous relationship impacts how they react in a new relationship. Because the person in Say Don’t Go really did lead her on and played her and then left, whereas the Cornelia Street muse didn’t but Taylor thought as much based on her previous experience (‘I THOUGHT you were leading me on…but then you called, showed your hand…’).

Another parallel to Lover songs is the ‘light in the dark’ theme that starts in This Love with “lantern burning/ flickered in my mind for only you”, which feels very similar to “chandelier still flickering here” from Death by A Thousand Cuts. This relationship/lover is the light that perseveres in the dark, even if it’s just flickering, it never goes out. It lights up the darkness (‘glowing in the dark’), whereas the other relationship is a “shot in the darkest dark”. We obviously get a whole lot more songs in later albums that reference love as light in the darkness, most prominently in Daylight, the Lover album closer. But more subtly, I also think that “Takin’ your time in the tangerine neon light” from Slut, and “hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine” from Cruel Summer follow that same pattern. Something that illuminates the darkness. And just btw, Slut and Cruel Summer give me a very similar vibe in terms of different takes on the same situation…anyone else get that? But one last, maybe more subjective, connection is the line “I’ll pay the price, you won’t”. Which everyone immediately took as a comment on double standards between men and women, but I think it could also be interpreted to mean ‘I’ll happily pay the price and take the hit, so you don’t have to’, if you interpret the song to be about dating a man in public to keep a female partner out of the public eye.  With that in mind, the line becomes very reminiscent of ‘I can never give you peace’ from folklore, both expressing that Taylor wants to shield her lover from the media scrutiny that comes with dating her.  

Suburban Legends alone has so many links to later songs that I had to give it its own paragraph. The chorus ‘I didn’t come here to make friends’ is so ‘I don’t want you like a best friend’ coded, and ‘We were born to be suburban legends’ gives me big reputation/big conversation vibes. Other people have already pointed out that ‘flushed with the currency of cool’ draws links to Gold Rush and Gorgeous (‘You’re so cool it makes me hate you so much’) and ‘so magnetic it’s almost obnoxious’ is very similar to ‘magnetic force of a man’ from Lover. All painting the picture of a person who is so cool and alluring that they feel almost unattainable. The whole premise of the song being that the narrator didn’t come to make friends, but instead is on a mission to get what they want, feels very Mastermind to me. The background music over the outro confirms that, as it’s the same production as Mastermind (I call it ‘game show music’ 😊) and the lyrics saying that the muse now doesn’t knock anymore, suggests to me that maybe the masterplan has worked. Lastly, the conclusion of the song being ‘my life is ruined/I always knew it’ is a different way of saying I’ll happily ruin myself for you, as in ‘for you I’d ruin myself a million little times’ from Illicit Affairs.

We don’t get nearly as many references to the first muse’s themes in later music, but ‘fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit hole” from Long Story Short is a nice drawback to the wonderland theme. Bottom line though, ‘It was the wrong guy…’.

And there we have it, the story of the two muses of 1989. If anybody here is even remotely as excited by lyrical analysis as I am, this one is for you, and feel free to have a friendly chat in the comments if I’ve missed anything!

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

One thing I like about Nimona that I haven't seen brought up yet (and maybe I'm alone here) is that Nimona becomes more sympathetic to the audience at the same pace that she becomes more sympathetic to Ballister (kinda long analysis below sorrys)

Like, I know not everyone agrees, but on my first watch of the movie, I found her downright annoying for the first like, quarter of the film. I don't find her annoying upon rewatch at all, I absolutely adore her, but the first time I watched it I reacted with a similar distaste as Ballister-- not because she was a shapeshifter or queer, obviously, but because she appears completely tone-deaf to Ballister's situation when the man is experiencing probably the worst thing anyone could imagine, she jeopardizes his reputation even more by pretending to be him while menacing the public, constantly undermines his efforts to minimize harm and clear his name, and just does as she feels without regard to others.

Then you start to learn why she acted that way, just as Ballister does. You (and Ballister) start to see that his efforts are in vain, that trying to minimize harm or clear his name doesn't work in his favor and is impossible to achieve, and Nimona knew that all along so of course she didn't care! She's seen this film before enough times to stop taking it seriously. If the outcome is always the same, why not have a little fun with it?

Her whimsical mannerisms start to look less annoying and tone-deaf and more powerful and brave (that she could be so determined to be herself despite everything). She starts to look less carefree, and more jaded. You realize that she's only carefree because it hurts too much to care.

And Ballister's line "Let's break stuff" is the turning point where we see that she (or rather, the Institute) has taught him to embrace chaos and be himself, because they're not going to listen either way.

And the subsequent scene, where Ballister offers to take her away from the walls and she says "No, this isn't right, we have to take the Institute down" shows that Ballister taught her to care again because he proved that people can change. They both had an important lesson they needed to learn from the other, basically: "Don't expect the system to work in your favor but don't be a doomer about it either" lol

And it hurts when Bal turns on her because you can kinda see where he's coming from, it would make sense that a lonely, lonely creature would possibly sabotage someone else hated by society so that they could finally have a friend. It would explain why she acted so cavalier about his reputation, constantly threatened people and undermined him, made them both out to be far more villainous than they were. She was acting out of indifference, but it came across to him as malice, and while we the audience know that obviously the eponymous character isn't a twist villain, Ballister wouldn't, and further, how much easier would it be to believe that this one person double-crossed you, rather than to believe everything you ever knew was a lie? So he turned his back on her.

And he, and the audience see what a huge massive fuckup that was.

What I like is you don't even NEED her backstory to sympathize with her, and neither did Ballister. This isn't a case of "character was unbearable for the entire time but they have sad backstory so they're now likeable I guess Snape). She was already sympathetic and likeable. We already understood her. The backstory was just extra context, nothing more, and that is fucking excellent writing.

We slowly learn to love Nimona for herself at the same rate that Ballister does, rather than being irritated wishing she was something else. And I absolutely, absolutely love that. She doesn't "become" more likeable, you learn that she was likeable all along.

[michanvalentine]

Things about Vincent Valentine that I read around and piss me off. Vol.2

"Vincent was too shy and passive. He is an idiot."

Usually in reference to his attitude towards Lucrecia after the breakup. As if he could somehow save his relationship with her (and thus prevent everything else). I say yes, perhaps he could have sought further clarification, but for me the situation has never been so simple and linear.

Ok, let's start from the beginning. First of all, Vincent is a sensitive and intelligent person, with an above-average education. A person who thinks a lot, even too much. So calling him an idiot, especially in such a context, is really having a superficial reading of the character. Honestly, this statement bothers me a lot even when it is extended to the other part: Lucrecia. But that's another story... Secondly, let's remember that the two had a real relationship. In DoC Vincent was never a sort of stalker fixated on Lucrecia despite the unrequited love, as he might have appeared in the OG (unless the remake wants to tell yet another story.) Even Hojo was aware of their love story, in fact when Lucrecia pronounces the fateful "Yes, doctor" he says: "So you've come to your senses and chosen me." And I don't think Hojo was exactly the type to care about gossip.

That said, I would add my interpretation on Vincent's "passivity". A while ago I read a comment, something like: Lucrecia went with Hojo to gauge how much Vincent cared about her, since she thought he hated her due to the Grimoire's death. So she was waiting for Vincent to react and take her away from Hojo, but Vincent was just too shy and passive to do something so outrageous. I couldn't help but respond to this comment like this: This would be a really sick way of demanding attention. In this case Lucrecia would be truly mentally ill and Vincent would simply be a sane person who behaves properly. I believe there are several biases in this regard. First and foremost, the old-fashioned concept of Prince Charming rescuing the damsel in distress. Which I hate. Secondly I don't think Lucrecia left Vincent because she thought he despised her for the Grimoire incident. Otherwise she wouldn't have needed to push him away, because in that case Vincent himself would have been the one to leave her. No, the reasons are different:

Feelings of guilt led her to think she couldn't be by his side. As if Vincent didn't deserve someone as bad as her in his life.

Every time she looked at Vincent, given the extreme similarity, she saw Grimoire again and remembered the event that had traumatized her.

Obviously Lucrecia didn't put Vincent to the test, she was determined to put as much distance as possible between her and Vincent because she felt it was right for him and too painful for her to continue. Stop. The relationship with Hojo is an addition, but also desired for other reasons. She neither expected nor wanted to be saved. Not to mention that Vincent is not Lucrecia's father and had neither the responsibility nor the duty to do so. She is an adult. Certainly, by breaking off their relationship, Lucrecia has also made a decision for Vincent. He didn't object, he passively accepted and stepped aside. But are we sure he could have done otherwise? Are we sure he could change Lucrecia's mind? How exactly? Young Vincent was naive and introverted, but Vincent's passivity in this case was also determined by other factors. Maybe he could have made his feelings about Grimoire's death and about Lucrecia more clear. But at the same time I think it wasn't necessary, because they were obvious. It's Lucrecia who no longer knows what her true feelings are. And she will only be able to clarify them for herself later, in fact at the end of DoC she will confess to Vincent: "I finally realized my true feelings. Even if you may never understand them".

But let's analyze the facts and see how they unfolded. Given the above, at first Lucrecia was so focused on herself due to guilt that she was numb to everything else. Even to Vincent. In DoC, when Vincent discovers the file on Grimoire, Lucrecia yells at him to "stop it". She doesn't want to listen and at the same time she doesn't give him a chance to express himself. Likewise, after apologizing to him, she ran away without giving him a chance to reply. And let's remember that out of the blue he was left by the love of his life for no valid reason, at least from his point of view. Not to mention that Grimoire's death must have been painful for him too. Reacting is not easy when you are confused, grieving and heartbroken. From that moment on, Vincent Valentine was completely cut out of Lucrecia's life. Lucrecia keeps him at a distance, due to points 1 and 2 above, and as a final barrier she puts Hojo in the middle (of course, the scientist is there too for other reasons). In the scene around the table, when Vincent asks her "if she's sure", Hojo really seems like a wall between the two that still prevents direct confrontation. And Lucrecia appears clearly angry that he has come forward with objections. At the Shinra Mansion Vincent Valentine seems to have no say in anything. Lucrecia doesn't give him the chance to argue, Hojo first rudely silences him because he's just a Turk and then definitively closes his mouth with a bullet. But even if silenced, Vincent's feelings and intentions remain evident. Even Hojo knew them, in fact when he discovers that Lucrecia is experimenting on Vincent's body he says: "How happy this fellow must be. Helping his beloved even after he's begun rotting away." Lucrecia herself, through her data, at a certain point in DoC will say: "I pushed you away, but… now I realize, I never wanted to lose you." And again later: "I made so many mistakes. And I hurt you so, so much. Why did I do what I did?" Deep down Lucrecia knew she had pushed him away for her own personal reasons, and not because he despised her or anything. She knew she had made a mistake, of having been blinded by fear and guilt, that she had mortified his feelings and that she had made him suffer for it, especially because the breakup had been practically forced on him. So I repeat: should he continue to chase Lucrecia, proclaiming his love like a crazy in the hope of changing her mind? Let's pretend he had the opportunity (always excluding kidnappings or ambushes). He could have to, yes, but in addition to reiterating the obvious and saying things already known even to the person concerned (after all, if there is something imperishable, capable of overcoming pain, time and even death, it is the love that Vincent Valentine feels for Lucrecia), she probably wouldn't have listened to him anyway. Because, as Vincent would say, "she was always like that, only believing what she wanted to."

[planefood]

Thinking about the Birdie stuff brings up some really nasty feelings the art community is a shit show and in no way safe for kids, speaking as someone who was really screwed up in animation meme spaces after getting in close contact with an idol of mine when I was 12. I won't bring up who, It happened almost a decade ago and I have no evidence for it and that person doesn't seem to be actively posting anywhere now anyway. They made like one or two massively popular flipaclip animations and fucked off. Plus I feel like it wouldn't be good for me and I'll also not allude to what took place specifically for that reason That being said when it all came to a breaking point I was blamed for everything that had happened by the people around me, the 12 year old in the situation in a group of 20 something year olds.

I have a lot of people around me who were in similar art spaces in their early pre-teen to teen years suffer the same fate. I either have to grapple with the fact those events changed me in such a way that I simply gravitate towards people who had similar things happen to them for comfort or that this is happens so frequently that a majority of people I know have been screwed up by something like that. I'm not really sure I can handle either of those explanations but I think we all know its probably the latter.

But it did change me in a way that it probably effects my life in small and subtle ways that build up that I can't pick up on and it scares me, this shit really messes kids up. I'm one of the lucky ones because my experience wasn't used as fodder by adults in the community to make videos about mocking the victims in these situations for acting like unemotionally regulated children (which children often act that way for the record) or just retraumatise the victims by making think pieces about the predators for money. I've seen grown ass adults call obviously groomed children irredeemable monsters with no thought and no guilt for something I know they can't control because they're just kids. How does that help anyone? When I was a kid I already blamed myself for everything that happened and it took a lot of self reflection to realise it wasn't my fault. Also now that I'm the same age as the people were when they did that stuff to me as a kid I know it's not normal for adults to be interacting with random 12 year olds online anyway.

I still have people to this day bring up what has happened to me and try blame me for it. So just a reminder for anyone reading this that has gone through shit like this that it wasn't your fault that it happened no matter what anyone says if someone victim blames you about it I will kill them badly

[a-s-levynn]

About those new masks..

So i saw this take a few times already and i have some thoughts. Obviously it's paraphrasing but you'll see these a lot similar to this if you scroll in ST spaces since yesterday:

"These new masks have too much personality, they said the people behind the music is uniportant but they now have this new personalized look instead of the uniform sleek minimalist one and it is the direct opposite of what they are saying. These new looks do not fit Sleep Token"

Let me preface this: I'm not going to explore specific reasons why people might hate on the masks because... No i refuse to go there, but i will talk about the issues i have around this a bit.

No.

If you are hating on the new masks so much so as to cry about that "this is not what they supposed to be about" you are missing your own point. You are in fact shooting the opposite direction. You are no longer in it for "just the music" but you are very much caught upon the "everything else beside the music." You got distracted. You putting the blame on them instead on yourself for loosing your own point.

There is no moral highground in this whole ordeal. Please respect yourself enought to try not to look utterly stupid if you frothing about something you visibly misunderstood. Do not hide behind excuses. Do not put this on the artists. Own up to the fact that you simple don't like it.

Admit that it's your opinion purely; because ultimately the artist creating their own art will understand creative choices behind their creations more than you ever will. No matter how far you try to bend backwards.

The masks fit Sleep Token because it is Sleep Token who decided to have them. End of story. You can hate it all you want but it is still part of the shabang now. And don't try to mask your distaste over visuals with shouting about the artist not understanding their own ideology.

If you are so hung up on how they look like, more than what the music still is, than stop and think for a second please.. You have it backwards. If you really truly only care about the music, what it is about, what it gives you, than you are not going to give a shit what they are wearing on stage.

Maybe in a passing few sentences but otherwise you are not going to be worked up about it to the point you sent hatecomments to the artist who made them.. It is shameful.

Besides i hate to break it to people but they already had their personalities with their outfits just not this strongly. III had the random whacky shit. IV had the hint's of this comfy leisurly punk-ish techwear whatever going on besides the fancy stuff the past a months since the summer. II had a slightly sleeker but maybe sort of tech-ish look which is now reflected (in my opinion) much more strongly with this new look (which sorta reminds me of a stylized oni or something tbh and that is extremely in line with their older far-east inspired thematics visually, just saying).

They are not handing you the "we are unimportant" part anymore. They are not spoonfeeding it to you. Not in the way they had before at least. They presume you are mature and smart enough at this point to get it. To get to the conclusion that it is unimportant what they look like. And allow them to still have fun with it.

Or just they are being cheeky and went for something that would shake up the people. I don't know, i don't know them or anyone close to them. I don't have answers. But they are trying something new an it is perfectly fine.

Also which would have come off so much differently if Vessel is 100% btw. Be honest, if they would have been able to perform to their fullest abilities, far less people would be so loud over this.. This was just an unfortunate turn of events and when shit hits the fan it usually never just one dose. And my heart breaks for the boys for all this.

Besides, people were so loud about hating that "they looked the same" and "so hard to distinguish" and "easy to replace because of this" ... now they have personalized masks and looks and the same people cry about the exact opposite they did before..

Also it just occured to me that this is basically the same as the lightshow upgrade. It gives you something to look at at the rituals. The new looks are visually interesting, and with the lighting setup they have now they are gonna look like some seriously fun nightmare creatures btw. I love that already.

So all in all i don't know, i don't really have a point here i guess, but the boys are in such a no win situation right now and i hate the fact that people are shitting on them just because they don't fit their idea of "an anonymous collective" anymore. Which is reddiculous and sad because nothign has changed.

It never was about being a blank page. It was about being human. It flies over so many peoples head but the anonymity part isn't about not being a person under there. It is being about that person not having a name. It doesn't matter if the person has a personality or not. What matter there is that no name.

There is no definitiveness. It gives an open invitation for anyone to step into that person but first you need to recognise that there is a person there. And there is no doing that if there are no traces of personality. Or humanity if you will because personalities makes us humans. Don't make me hold a philosophy lecture here on what it means being human please.

It does not matter who that individual it is by tagging a name on them. But it is extremely important that there is a person there. Otherwise there is no connection point. If there is no person there is nothing to understand. But it does not matter how that person looks like. It does not matter what the person wears. Or what that person is called. What matters is that it is a human being. And as such you can understand it. Our at least you should be able to.

Regardless of the design of a mask.