#npd information

[akechinpd]

thanks YouTube for promoting this fucking garbage

btw if you see this ad, report it, block it, whatever. I can’t believe they’re pushing this bullshit.

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[narcissus-son]

What is the difference between a “chosen person” and an “equal person”?

The terms chosen person and equal person refer to the special people a pwNPD have in their life. People with Cluster B disorders may have a “special person” in their life that can mark a difference in the way they have relationships with others. So, much like how pwBPD have their favorite person (FP, for short), pwNPD can have an equal person (EP) or a chosen person (CHP).

But what is the difference?

From what I have seen from other people with NPD, as well as my own experiences, both terms can be chalked up to as this:

Equal person is the person that is equally as important to the narcissist. The EP may be on the same level or close to as the narcissist, hence the name. This is a person that the narcissist cares for, who’s emotions and feelings are acknowledged.

Chosen person is the person that the narcissist values above everybody else. In other words, they are someone worthy of the narcissist’s time. Chosen people may be chosen because they hold a trait or have charcteristics that may interest the narcissist.

Why are these special bonds formed for pwNPD?

Simply put, the traits of our personality disorder may cause us to have rocky relationships with other people. It causes us not to care about other people, see them as inferior/useless, and become distant from some.

Empathy is a struggle for pwNPD, we don’t really have much of it. That is why EPs are special—they are a person the narcissist cares about, and sees close to or on their level.

Some pwNPD may not be all about socialization or having close friends. That is why CHPs are special—the narcissist likes this person a lot, and considers them worthy.

A chosen person can be an equal person, and vice versa. But they are not the same thing.

An equal person can just be an equal person. The narcissist may not have any relationship with them, or consider them a CHP. They are just a person the narcissist sees on their or close to their level.

A chosen person can just be a chosen person. The narcissist may not see their CHP as an equal—they are just someone the narcissist picked.

However, from what I’ve heard and my own personal experience, some pwNPD have CHPs or EPs that are also EPs or CHPs! Whatever they decide to use to describe their person, depends on the narcissist. Some use equal person, others chosen person.

I haven’t seen any posts about the topic, so I decided to make a post to spread the word. I hope this might help clear some things up for non-NPD and for my fellow narcissists!

[allegedly-human]

I don't usually promote stuff but goddddd Sarah Z's vid on narcissism is an absolute banger untangling the web of ableism and moral panic around "narcissistic abuse" and how narcissists are everywhere to get YOU. I didn't think I'd ever have a vid to recommend about my disorder coming from someone with a big platform but I'm happy to do it here

[mischiefmanifold]

I love it when big blogs spread misinformation about disorders that are already stigmatized and double down when they get corrected

[ppd-culture-is]

Some people have the belief that having two personality disorders together with counteractive symptoms isn't possible. E.I.: a pwNPD also has AvPD. This usually comes from the belief that the presentation (rather internally or externally) is absolute with a continuous idea.

With NPD specifically, it is believed that the presentation is to show as wanting all positive attention, belief of feeling superior, and the need to be perceived by anyone in a positive light. This is an extreme presentation that is not inclusive towards the other symptoms that occur due to the strong feelings of superiority. NPD is the constant state of waves that include low self-esteem and high self-esteem that is caused by the fragility of one's ego. I put emphasis on the low self-esteem and fragility of one's ego here. I'd argue that if a pwNPD experiences severe bouts of negative episodic symptons, then they would qualify for AvPD (traits modifier). Especially if their positive episodic symptons of a high is as fragile as anything else, a simple feeling of insecurity due to AvPD would make someone crash harder than ever before.

Having AvPD with NPD makes the 'lows' feel more possible to occur and more severe. Someone with NPD can have that brief period of trying to rationalize that perception of any negative connotation towards themselves with anything they could think of (e.g. 'Why would this person's opinion matter if they are beneath me?'). Someone with both disorders will end up not having that brief period of salvation and instead have the complete opposite. This is where the AvPD is seen most prominently.

AvPD can even present during the highs of a positive episodic sympton occurrence in regards to NPD, but it is more present internally than externally. That reach for the need to be perceived as nothing but positive and treated as such makes the insecurity and avoidance seem small. The symptoms of AvPD will gradually get louder and harsher because of the combative feelings and thoughts shown otherwise. An example of this is how pwNPD can intake any positive compliments towards themselves, but even one small remark that they see as negative starts the spiral of rumination.

What I'm saying is that the symptoms of both disorders play into each other rather than contradict. NPD will experience a couple of symptoms predominantly, whereas AvPD will combat that by playing on said symptoms. It also works vice versa.

The disorders seem to counteract each other - and they do. That is the whole framework of the presentation. It is to cause severe 'high' and 'lows' to extreme ends of the spectrum, resulting in the instability of many aspects of oneself.

[crabussy]

I LOVE AND APPRECIATE MY FRIENDS WITH NPD 👊👊👊👊👊👊💥💥💥 OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[antiendovents]

i just wanna make another post addressing the whole issue of the vent that told pro endos to kill themselves (link to original post here, link to response / explanation post here)

I just wanted to say that one; I do not condone harassment or telling people to actually kill themselves (I mentioned this in the tags of the original post but I'm not sure if I made it clear enough), by that I mean I don't support people actually going to pro endo blogs and telling them they should kill themselves and stuff. But, I also do not support harassing people for "thought crimes". Sure, it's not the nicest thing to wish death upon those you hate, but as someone with NPD who does this quite frequently in my head I kind of understand it. And I'd rather that person come here to vent their frustrations than say actually go around telling people to do it. You get me?

Two; this is a vent blog, made for frustration at it's core. We made this blog because endos made us mad. They made us frustrated and upset and hurt. So we made this blog for us and other anti endos to vent their anger about it, and that's what we'll allow. We have said multiple times we do not condone harassment nor do we condone actually telling people to kill themselves, but if you wish to come here and vent about it and about how you feel then you are welcome to do so.

And finally, about the delusional statement; I don't agree with that either. I don't believe delusional should be used as an insult but I feel it's important to recognise that they likely didn't mean it in that way or maybe didn't even know it was a insult.

I don't know, I'm not them and I can't comment on their actions or why they did what they did, but I can comment on why I posted it, which is because well, that's what this blog is made for. I'm sorry if you were hurt by their words, I can promise I didn't intend to hurt others, but this is a vent blog and while yes I do like to keep some things light hearted here it's also important to understand that well. As I've said. It's a vent blog.

[front-ill]

Demoting a term for abuse that is characterized by why someone does something versus what one does in regards to abuse removes the responsibility of the person at hand for being abusive, and instead moves the blame on something other than the person. Which is why narcissistic abuse as a concept is harmful. While you can have terms that demote the specific TYPE of abuse, example being sexual abuse, you can't put it on a term where it isn't a type of abuse. You can't call someone a narcissistic individual AND believe that narcissism (in an ableist sense) are both real because YOU remove the blame onto a term where that term describes certain actions and symptoms of a mental disorder.

Oh, and if you believe that narcissism and NPD aren't the same, you're not sneaky when you claim that narcissistic abuse holds NPD tendencies and symptoms (example being entitlement or being hurt from criticism). Even if you do it subtly.

[eclaire-went-bam]

low/no empathy is Minorly Othering in terms of interests (in my experience) because almost everyone i know prefers fiction over nonfiction, because it's more interesting and easier to digest,

but prefer the opposite for the same reasons. nonfiction is MUCH easier for me to parse through. i stress myself out a lot whenever i try to imagine a characters thoughts and feelings, and i end up usually just misunderstanding entirely. oftentimes it's so frustrating i just put a book down and never try reading it again. i understand rhetorical devices, messages, themes, symbolism,,, i understand the book on a technical level when it comes to the artistry of how it's written. but i, for the life of me, in the moment, simply cannot fathom a character's thoughts and feelings

comics are only a little easier bcs they have added help of drawn depictions of thoughts and feeling, but even then it can still be hard. i just can't enjoy the same literature many ppl are into just cus i find textbooks n stuff more easy to read

[akechinpd]

heyy! asking a question to ALL NARCISSISTS!

any reblogs adding of your experience is helpful!

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

questioning npd culture is needing so badly to be special that any time I’m not, I panic and involuntarily make myself physically ill.

🪽

.

[vain-creature]

Psychologist: oh, the next appointment will be our last :) unless you want to check out something else :)

Me, internally: NPD NPD NPD NPD

Me: no, I don't think so, thanks :3

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is basically becoming an amateur psychologist

.

[mischiefmanifold]

Hi anyway PDA, as it is currently understood, is a behavioral profile that closely resembles conduct and behavior disorders like conduct disorder (CD), ODD, NPD, and ASPD.

If you identify as PDA I suggest looking into those disorders

[britneyshakespeare]

I feel like certain people on Tumblr have really been fighting for backwards progress when it comes to how we talk about mental illness and abuse. I see posts at least several times a week on my dash that seem to have the purpose of implying people with insert-mental-illness and/or insert-symptom are not abusive when they do insert-action-that-makes-people-uncomfortable, often times meaning to promote a more positive image of people with particularly stigmatized conditions, like personality disorders, mood disorders, psychosis, addiction, or neurodivergence. And I really really hate it because these posts almost always have the ultimate purpose of telling people not just "This thing is not inherently abusive," but often it comes across as "You were not abused."

I just find that to be really unhelpful and unintentionally hurtful, and for what? I believe that destigmatizing various mental conditions is a worthy cause, but at the same time this type of rhetoric seems to be so protective of people in whichever stigmatized group they're trying to advocate for, that it comes back around to a sort of respectability politics. Anybody can be an abuser. And someone's means and methods of abusing can very much be influenced by a condition they have. Why wouldn't it be? Their conditions will affect every aspect of their life and their interpersonal relationships. Especially if these issues are going untreated or being insufficiently managed. I don't understand why anyone would want to make it appear as if abusers are mostly neurotypical and mentally well people, or that if they aren't, then their conditions have nothing to do with it and the overlap is merely incidental. What? It makes it so hard for anyone who is a victim to come to terms and identify the dynamics of what they've gone through.

Addicts and mentally ill people don't have to be unproblematic in order to be humanized and accepted. And nobody profits from writing hard and fast rules about how abuse apparently works, drawing clear lines between which behaviors can, and cannot, ever be abuse.