#nowadays I actually just reflect their feelings back to them

[likeaustralianotcrosby]

One time when I was like 11 my friend was telling me about a bunch of mean things her mom did/said to her and I said something along the lines of “your mom sounds mean” and then she got upset because I called her mom mean and I still think about that like 2-3 times a week.

[dollfacefantasy]

LAST MINUTE ♡

pairing: frank castle x fem!reader

summary: when frank won't give you attention, you have to convince him not to leave somehow...

cw: nsfw (18+), smut, boot humping, praise/degradation

wc: 3.3k

a/n: i love him i love him i love him sooooo badddddd. if you send me asks about this man i'll make out with you sloppy. anyways, comments and reblogs appreciated too <3

kinktober slot: day 25 - boot humping

Frank's eyes cast over to the corner of the room where you're sitting in front of the mirror. He can hear you humming to yourself, your voice rising and falling to the soft tune of a song you'd been obsessed with for the last few weeks. Your fingers smear some lotion across your cheeks. The pads of them massage the cream into your malleable flesh.

Your gaze catches his watching you through the reflective pane. He sees a smile spread across your lips before you turn around and spring to your feet. Your body is only covered by a t-shirt of his along with the pair of panties lying beneath. You prance across the bedroom and glide around to hover behind him.

The scent of your lotion and shampoo from the shower you'd just taken cloud the air surrounding him. It's light and airy, like the vision of you that floats through his head nowadays. He wasn't sure when you'd taken up permanent residence there, though he couldn't really complain. Thoughts of you are better than echoing gunshots or screams.

He hums in acknowledgement of your proximity, giving your forearm a pat with his rough hand. It's smooth beneath his fingertips. So untouched it feels wrong to drag his calloused skin across it.

You don't seem to mind though. Not with the way you duck your head and kiss his cheek.

"It seems like something's bothering you," you murmur, the wisps of your breath brushing over his face.

His attention returns to the weapons in front of him. He focuses on cleaning the parts and putting them back together. Your words were kind of stupid. There's always something bothering Frank. Moments where he has a clear head are few and far in between; reserved for when he's asleep in your arms or balls deep in your cunt.

He doesn't say anything rude though. He knows you're trying to be sweet. The statement is your subtle attempt at offering up your ear. You always told him he could vent. He could cry over the past or seethe about his plans for the night, either way you'd be right there. But that would only be if he ever actually took you up on that offer.

Instead, all you get in response is a grunt before a muttered "'m fine, baby."

You frown. He can see it out of the corner of his eye. Your lips turn into that pitiful little pout that drives him up the wall. Good thing his eyes are locked on a different target right now.

"Are you sure? Feel like you got something on your mind," you try again. Your hands slide up to his shoulders, fingers beginning to tenderly massage his tense deltoids.

"Told you I'm fine," he says again. The words are firm and closed off, but they don't strike you as unkind.

"Wellll… if there was anything wrong, would there be anything I could do to make it better?" you whisper.

Your lips press against his cheek bone again before migrating downward. Your soft, plump lips coasts over his jawline and onto his throat. You feel his smile make a brief appearance on his face, but his hands don't stop rotating the cleaning rag over the grip of his gun. He hasn't abandoned his task for you. Yet.

"There's nothing wrong. Don't start makin' a fuss over it," he grumbles.

"C'monnn, Frankie," you say softly, "Just tell me one thing. Even if you feel fine, just tell me one thing that you'd like."

A few more gentle pecks land on his neck. Your fingers continue to swirl and massage into the tender muscles in his shoulders.

"I'd like it if you got some rest tonight and didn't stay up worrying about me or watching the news," he responds.

You roll your eyes. Of course, you were gonna do that regardless. You always worried about him when he was 'working.' He'd spend the hours out taking care of what - or who - ever, and you'd occupy that time in your apartment doing just as he said, pouring over news reports and bouncing your leg until you were so tired your eyes couldn't stay open if they wanted to.

"Be seriousss," you whine, growing more petulant with him.

He glances over at you upon hearing that tone. That rise in pitch never did you any favors with Frank. He didn't fall for the puppy eyes or quivering lip.

"I am serious. I don't want you worrying or stressing. I'll be back tonight, and I want to come back to you sleeping in bed. Not watching for me at the fire escape," he says.

"Ok well pick something I can actually give you now," you concede.

Space. That's what he wants to tell you. Not in an annoyed way. He loves your touch, adores feeling your body heat oozing off of you. But it's hard to get in the mind frame of a killer when your breasts are pushing against his back and your nose is gliding over his throat.

He doesn't say that though because he knows no matter what tone of voice he says it in, you'll only take it in the 'I'm sick of you' way.

"What makes you think I need anything?" he asks. He puts the handgun he'd been working on down on the table and picks up a larger assault weapon instead.

"Oh my god, you're so difficult," you huff, "I'm just trying to be nice to you. I don't like seeing you all grumpy and stressed."

You may not have liked it, but grumpy and stressed was the version of Frank you saw the most. It was the one you fell in love with. The one that spends the night here in your apartment most days of the week. The one who's hoodies you wear. The one who holds you while you sleep and grunts against your skin when he has a bad dream.

"I'm not. I'm just thinking. You're making something out of nothing, sweetheart," he chides.

"You know… I think you just don't want to admit that you need a night off," you say, nodding in agreement with yourself.

"No."

"Just wait. Don't shoot it down before I explain," you try to reason.

"No," he says again.

"Yes! You'd feel so much better if you had one single night to relax," you argue.

He looks at you with a bit of disbelief. "I can't just call in sick. There is no 'night off,'" he says. His tone is strict, no room for negotiation or bargains, but that doesn't stop you from trying.

"I know, but you don't have to go out. You could text your 'people' and they could do whatever for the night," you say. His people is the term you call whoever he works with. You know there's at least one other guy, he's just never told you any names or details. "Just one night to let me take care of you. It would be good for you. And plus, I miss you," you pout.

He eyes you for a moment, dark pupils scanning over each small curve of your face. The pause gives you hope that he's considering it. That maybe he'll choose to stay with you instead of the shipping yards or rooftops.

"Don't give me that 'I miss you' act. You know I miss you too, but I can't just stay with you and sit on my ass all night cause you think it's the magic cure to me being a hardass," he says.

You narrow your eyes as the look on your face likens more to sulking.

"It's not magic��� just if you rest, you'd be less uptight," you say. You loop your arms around his neck again and smoosh your cheek against his, letting the prickly spikes of his stubble scratch you.

With a little sigh, your attention shifts to what he's working on. He's still cleaning the metallic item on the desk in front of him. You watch his hands work, moving in methodical swipes. Efficacy learned from years of experience. Still, it's so boring to you that you can't even come up with a question to feign interest. Not that he'd answer anyways. He didn't like involving you in his other job.

You puff air through your lips to signify your apathy. "Frank…" you whimper, right by his ear, soft and quiet.

Usually, you avoid asking him to stay home. You never complain about the awkward hours or inconsistent time you get with him. You don't accuse him of being uncaring or allege that he's using you. But maybe it's the fact that he so blatantly denied you tonight that has your mind acting up.

"Quit while you're ahead, baby. I don't wanna argue before I leave," he says.

"I'm not trying to argue. Why can't you just consider it?" you ask.

"You know why. Now, enough," he says, bringing the discussion to an end.

Your head slumps over onto his shoulder, your ear flush against the cotton of his shirt. Of course, you know why. You know why this stuff is important to him. And it makes you feel guilty for even suggesting a brief reprieve from it.

Sagging down, you slide around to the front of his chair and drop to your knees at his feet. You rest your head on his thigh, displeasure displayed across your lips.

"You're so mean to me," you mutter.

He glances down at you, smirking a little at your exaggerated defeat. "You think so?" he prompts.

"Mhm," you hum, nuzzling against the denim covering his leg.

You scoot a little closer to his leg, pressing your torso flush against the limb. Closing the distance brings his foot to rest right between your legs. You feel it, but you don't care to notice it yet. Instead your fingers massage his calve absentmindedly.

The bedroom is quiet for a few moments spare the sounds of fabric rustling and both of your soft breaths. He just watches you for a few moments before you feel his hand pet the curve of your head.

"So unfair," he says.

You suppress the smile wanting to show on your features. The look of joy at receiving his attention. His thumb swipes back and forth over your skull. The warm weight of his palm coasting over you does soothe ypu even if you still wanna act coy.

"Yeah, especially cause I just wanna spend time with you," you sigh.

"You'll get to. Tomorrow," he responds. You can hear the clipped amusement in his voice.

Just as quick as it came, his hand leaves your head. It's back to the table. He moves onto a knife now, cleaning some grimy stain that you don't even want to know the origin of.

Shifting your head upward, you rest your chin on his knee and glare at him. "But-"

"I'm not gonna tell you again the answer is no."

The words die in your throat, leveling down to a whine. "See? Mean," you say.

You turn your head back to his side, squishing your cheek against his knee. The hard bone divots the soft flesh of your cheek like a crater on the moon.

You're content to just sit in this position and rest there until he stands up to go. To cling to his leg like the words "please please please" are about to spill from your lips. But in your deflated state, you sink down a bit more. You relax the muscles in your thighs and inadvertently bring the seat of your panties in direct contact with the scuffed top of his boot.

It doesn't shoot bliss through you like a bolt of lightening, but it sparks a fuse in the pit of your belly. The solid curve of it slotted right up against your clothed heat.

As an experimental touch, you grind your hips down. You make sure to be subtle, not wanting him to see what you're doing before you can determine if it's worth the humiliation. The muted sensation of pleasure that fills your belly answers that question quickly though.

Once you get the first taste, you rock your hips back and forth in little bursts. It wouldn't be noticeable to a quick glance, but a more intentional look would catch the way your ass pushes forward and back.

What gets him to notice is the feeling of you gripping his leg tighter. You press the hard front of his shin between your breasts and down your stomach harder. That gets him to look in your direction. When he does, he finds the sight of you getting yourself off with his boot.

"What're you doing?" he asks, giving you the chance to explain first.

"Nothing," you answer almost instantly.

"Doesn't look like nothing. Doesn't feel like nothing," he says as he tilts the point of his shoe upward. The boost grants some more friction to your clit, drawing a sharp whine out of you.

"Might have to get you a collar if you keep acting like a puppy, baby," he teases.

"I'm not," you whimper. You press your face harder against his knee as if it could act as a shield against the embarrassment.

"Really? Whining and humping my leg like you're in heat doesn't count?" he mocks.

"Shut up," you choke out.

"Attitude," he tuts. He shakes his head before his eyes flit back to the weapon on the table, letting you do your thing.

And you take advantage of that. Your hips move back and forth like a pendulum. You can feel the thin cloth of your underwear getting sticky as arousal leaks from you at the soft stimulation blooming between your legs. Your poor, swollen clit presses on the firm material as you let out a raucous whine. He tsks at you from above.

"It's getting late. You might wanna keep your volume down," he says.

The words come out so dismissive, so passively entertained. As if you're merely background noise. You can't help whining again. Your grip tightens on him, and your hips move in broader circles. If he's just going to let you do this, you're going to take advantage.

More sparks of white hot pleasure fizzle between your thighs. Your cunt ruts over the expanse of Frank's boot in quick strokes. The fabric of your panties only serves to provide some extra friction. Your eyes flutter and your cheek feels numb from the pressure of his kneecap again.

It feels as if you're in your own little world while doing this. Even if you're attached to him, it still seems like you're in a haze of your own at the moment. Just a lusty daze focused on making yourself feel good.

Vaguely, you can hear the clicks of his equipment above. The rustling of pouches and cloths. The clunking of organization. It all means nothing to you. The only thing you're concerned with is how your folds spread across the shape of his shoe.

You mewl softly. A trickle of saliva leaks from your mouth onto the rough fabric of his pants. All your thoughts have melted away. Your limbs stay locked around his leg, ensuring you have secure leverage to rock yourself back and forth.

He still doesn't acknowledge you. His eyes stay on the table. Honestly, you would believe he didn't even know you were there if not for him lowering his foot and then raising it again. The motion gives you a burst of stimulation, an interruption to the rhythm you'd set for yourself.

A desperate whine crackles out of your throat. You spread your thighs further to get down on him and press your aching pussy against him harder.

"Frank…" you whimper before biting your lip for a moment.

This time he doesn't disregard the call for him. He reaches down, sweeping his hand over your head and cupping your jaw. He directs you to look up at him and gets clear view of your empty eyes.

"What is it, baby?" he asks. His thumb brushes back and forth across your lower lip. The simple touch is enough to send you into orbit.

"I…" you try to start. But words are hard to conjure when thoughts have become nothing more than memory. "I love you," you end up choking out.

He chuckles. "Yeah, you do," he agrees.

You whine and lower your head again. Your body doesn't stop swinging your hips. His hand migrates back to the top of your head.

"I love you too, sweetheart," he says. His voice rumbles out low and quiet, so gravelly you can almost feel the vibrations in your bones.

He continues to gaze down at you. His eyes drink in the sight of you getting yourself off on his leg. Your hips constantly drag over the seamless surface of his shoes. Cute little noises pour from your mouth in a never-ending flow. Your eyes scrunch up and your nose crinkles when rushes of euphoria course through you.

"You gonna cum on my boot, doll? Gonna make a mess?" he rasps.

You nod eagerly. "Mhm. Mhm. Mhm," you whimper. In direct contrast to his, your voice floats into the air light and soft.

"Do it. Maybe I'll have you lick it up afterwards. I know you'd do it. Shit, you'd probably fucking like it," he says.

That's all you need to rush the spark on your fuse to the end and send you into an explosion of pleasure. Your back arches and you cling to his leg like it's a lifeline. Your grip gets so tight that had you been more lucid, you probably would have worried about cutting off his circulation.

Your pussy clenches around nothing, your walls fluttering with the urge to feel him spilling inside you in unison. Regardless, you keep rabbiting your hips and working yourself over the peak. Your noises come out more whiny and full of need, aching to hear his grunts in your ear.

As blissed out as you are, your droopy eyes still catch sight of the solid bulge in his pants. You hold out hope that maybe you'll get to have some of what you long for before he goes.

The intensity of your high begins to simmer down to a satisfying warmth as you reach the end. Your hips move slower and slower until they come to a stop. You catch your breath, panting and leaning against his leg totally lax.

He doesn't say anything. He just finishes up what he was doing and lets you come down on your own.

After a few minutes though, he does scoop you up off the ground and into his lap.

"That feel good?" he asks.

Your head bobs up and down.

"Looked like it," he grumbles.

"Not as good as it would've felt with you though," you murmur.

He stares at your content, post-release face. It's not a surprise you want more. Had you not hinted at wanting him to fuck you properly after that, he would have been actually concerned for your well-being.

"Guess you'll have to wait till I get back to find out," he says lowly with a kiss to your temple.

"But Frank…" you say, lazily sliding your hand down. The center of your palm lands on his swelling bulge, giving it enough pressure to drag a hiss from his lips.

He pauses, lets you stroke him a few times. It feels good. He knows he should just push you off. Should send you off to bed now that you're all nice and relaxed. But he can't resist that light caress.

Sighing he lifts you and steps over to the edge of the bed. Dropping you back on the mattress, he starts to remove his belt.

"You got fifteen minutes, ya little brat. After that, I'm still leaving," he tells you before dropping forward and hovering over your body, bringing your lips into a brisk kiss.

[sanzaibian]

I should have known better.

You know, those highschool cliques ? The jocks, the nerds, the goths and all... Well, even though nowadays they might not be as clear-cut as they once were, I can assure you that they still existed.

You see, I'm a nerd. But when I say nerd, I mean nerd. Like the whole socially awkward, scrawny and ugly kind of nerd. Also the nasally always-right nerd with top notch marks that reminds the teacher he made a mistake kind of nerd. And also the loves DnD, fantasy and niche interests kind of nerd... well, you get what I mean.

Me being such a caricature meant that I was endlessly teased at school, and was senselessly bullied by the jocks. You know, these hot guys with always a girl in their pants, with big muscles and an obsession with looking good.

I hated it, I hated them, and suffered silently through highschool, until I finally saw the other side when I finally went to university. Although my first years were a bit messed up by Covid, when I was in the building actually studying applied chemistry, I finally wasn't bothered. No one was there to tease me, to bully me or anything else. I could finally live in the class without being bothered !

But, in my third year, Ethan, a guy looking like one of those jocks of old switched courses and came in my class.

I was shocked ! These guys are only good for being hot, playing sports, and entering hot girls' pants ! Not for doing some actual intelligent things like applied chemistry !

But he was even more annoying, that Ethan guy. Because he did not only take the courses I took. No, in fact, he was getting better grades than me. He's so good with polymers that he is the one who asks all the questions and corrects the teacher, not me !

So I tried to avoid him as much as I could. Even when he tried to befriend me, I just scoffed at him, sometimes even mumbling that he should go back to the football stadium. I also talked to the few acquaintances that I had made through awkward bumbling at how I felt he was dumb, and perhaps was only extorting some poor nerds for information to regurgitate in class.

And, one day, at lunch, I just had enough. Ethan and the polymer teacher had an intense debate just before the end of the class, a debate that I couldn't follow. My ego was struck, to the point that I just poured my heart out to the poor people sitting with me. I was seeing red, that day, and nothing could have stopped me... not even the fact that Ethan was there a few tables next to me.

I've since then heard that Ethan was very upset after my tirade, as he is always thought to be dumb due to his interest in being in shape and stylish, while at the same time, I was coming back home all happy to finally have given people a piece of my mind.

However, when I woke back up, I felt weird. I felt heavier, less agile and especially more groggy. As if I just couldn’t quite get up. There was also something cold on my chest that I couldn’t quite identify…

So I did the only logical thing and went to the bathroom to wash my face and properly wake up. But when I saw the mirror, I think what I saw woke me up immediately.

The man behind the mirror was not me. It was a jock – a hot one at that – with big muscles, trendy hair, chiseled face and multiple jewelry. Yet, there were still a few things that signaled me I was looking at myself : the jet black hair, the tan skin, the brown eyes and especially those small pimples on my right cheek and on my right… I guess I can call it pec, now.

I stayed in front of the mirror for quite a while, looking at each corner of my reflection. I couldn’t believe it, and after a long while, decided to just eat breakfast and forget everything that happened. It just isn’t possible.

But when I was going to my kitchen I couldn’t stop being reminded of how I changed. From my heavy step to the sound of my new necklace, and from the pecs I saw in the corner of my eyes to the weird feeling I still felt in my head. When finally reaching it, I was surprised when I didn’t go for my usual biscuits but rather for an apple… I must eat healthily, after all !

After finishing eating breakfast, I went to my closet, and rather than going for the button-up I usually wore, I went for a simple white t-shirt, and went for a jacket that I didn’t feel like closing, in addition to my usual jeans – all suspiciously fitting me well.

And with that, I went to university, set on finding who did that to me.

When I arrived, the weird feeling in my head hadn’t lifted, though I was dead set in finding who was responsible. So dead set that I didn’t notice people turning their head at my arrival. Nor my backpack shifting to only being carried by one shoulder.

After a while, I saw my class, and approached them with heavy gait, swinging my torso with every step like a typical jock. However, curses befell upon me when I opened my mouth and greeted my classmate.

“Yo, bro ! Doin’ good ? I just wanted to ask, bro, anything weird happened since yesterday ?”

I was shocked at how I said that, so much that I covered my mouth with my hand. My classmate was similarly shocked, and only shook her head negatively before excusing herself. Why did she flee like that ?

I clicked my tongue before looking at myself. How had this happened ? Why am I doing weird things ? Why am I talking weirdly ? I can think the sophisticated thoughts, yet when I voice them, they are filtered through bro-speech !

As I was melting down, none other than Ethan came in, smiling. Of course it was him, I shouldn’t have given the benefit of the doubt to him ! I have been only graceful and nice to him, and this is how he repays me ? By turning me into this… hot monstrosity ?

As the anger was rising, Ethan lead me to the bathroom, and there explained himself.

“You know, Juan, you’ve been insufferable ever since we started that semester. Always distrusting me, and making others distrust me. I’ve never know why you were always so angry at me, while you treated others with respect… that is, until you went on a rant yesterday.

- You fucker ! Turn me back right now, or you’ll wish you’ve never been born, you son of bitch !” I didn’t quite expect to be this foul-mouthed…

- Hahaha ! No, I’m sorry, but I can’t. It’s already so unexpected that my prayers were answered to, so you turning back ? No can do !

- Bro that’s not fair, I wasn’t bad to you, man ! You were the one being rude on my turf, bruh !

- So funny ! You now sound like one stereotypical jock in addition to looking like one ! I’m sorry, Juan, but nobody will ever take you seriously in a conference If you talk to them like that !” he laughs.

- Bro, just turn me back… I promise I won’t continue, man !

- What didn’t you understand in ‘No can do’, Juan ? the ‘no’ ?”

I roll my eyes, but he’s right… God that fucking angers me. I want to strangle that piece of shit !

“So, Juan, I guess, see you in class, if you even dare enter it…”

On that, he left. That day, I didn’t go to class, spending my time looking for information on what made me turn like that, until, like clockwork, at 5 PM I felt like I needed to go to the gym…

After a few days of searching and not finding anything at all, I decided to abandon the quest to find myself back and to rather learn to live with this new body. With Ethan stubbornly refusing to tell me how he did it and with my searches on internet only yielding weird fetish pages, I knew it was desperate...

I’ve since started to learn to cope with my strange occurrence, though it has absolutely wrecked my life. After having debated a while with the administration to prove I’m myself, I find my grades slipping, especially due to my newfound rudeness that mess up every single oral exam…

But at least, I’m hot now…

================================================

Hello, thank you for reading my small story, I hope it wasn't too bad !

Please do not hesitate to give me feedback - especially as it is the first real time I'm writing fiction in english ^^'

[youryanderedaddy]

tw: female reader, captivity, possessive behavior, non - consensual touching, hinted past stalking, hinted non - con, i keep making fairy tale references kfjhks My ko - fi <3

You actually feel calm now, almost at peace - although you can never be truly peaceful in the forest, you guess this is as close as it can get. You flip through the pages of the book, scanning the fireplace with the corner of your eye. It needs more wood, but it still keeps the cottage nice and warm. You tug at your big fluffy sweater - and think about just how domestic, how cozy this scene would be if you couldn't hear his footsteps creeping up behind you. You clear your throat and clutch the book closer to your stomach, trying to ignore him - hoping he'll go away if you pay him no mind. And just like the last few times, he sticks around like mud.

"Are you reading those fairytales again?" Raven calls out mockingly, the click of his tongue teasing your ear. He grasps your shoulders lightly, trying to take a peek at your book from behind the chair. You try to close it, but his hands quickly find your wrists, holding them in place. Now hyper - aware of his chest pressing against your back, you give in and let him look as his body heat spreads to your neck. "Such a pretty illustration, isn't it?" He hums to himself, a fox - like grin ruining his delicate features. When you don't respond, he just keeps going. "The knight kills the monster and rescues the princess." He reads the caption under the drawing, playing curious. "They live happily ever after." He flips the page. "The end." He mouths, averting his gaze.

You clench your fists and try to count to ten before you say something you will regret. You don't know why or how, but just one look at his face is enough to set you off nowadays. And anger is a losing battle - anger has you laying across his knees with your panties in your mouth, muffling your pained cries he likes to pretend are moans as he paints your butt red. So you shut up and bide your time.

"How sweet." The man chuckles with malice, quickly turning towards you just like a snake would curl around an unsuspecting little mouse. "I guess life really imitates art. Just like you and me." He observes with a self-satisfied smirk, reaching to light his cigarette. You hate when he smokes inside the house - the nicotine fume sticks to the walls for hours and you start choking and coughing, but he shows little concern for your heath; not that it's a huge surpirse to you.

"What do you mean?" You raise one eyebrow, hoping to at least take your mind off the nasty, overwhelming smell. If he sees your unease, he doesn't mention it, choosing to inhale even deeper, with his full chest. "You're the pretty damsel in distress." Raven explains calmly, charcoal eyes sinking into your vision like claws. It makes you feel naked, vulnerable - dissected to your very molecule. "And I am your knight." He lets his sharp teeth reflect in the dim light. "I saved you from those pesky insects who kept sulling you." You cringe at the way his tongue piercing drags against his canines. Track - track. "Aren't you glad I removed those obstactles for ya?" He gives you a crooked, sarcastic smile. "I think your hero deserves a little reward for all the trouble he went through just for you."

You blink away the tears as you are forced to remember it all in one breath. The police sirens - the investigation. The blood on your family's threshold. The used condoms hanging on your door for all neighbours to see, and the thousand messages calling you ugly names for months on end.

"You're no hero." You mumble under your breath, digging your nails deep into your palms - desperate to keep your tongue behind your teeth. But he hears you - he always does, and he just nods in agreement, coming close. Coming to take you.

Raven stands before you, hovering over you with one hand on the ashtray and the other tilting your chin up so you'd have no choice but to look at him and him alone. "Perhaps you're right." He admits, taking a puff off his long cigarette and blowing it in your face right after - simply in love with the way your eyes narrow in frustrated defiance as you wave away the thick smoke. "Perhaps I am not the hero, but the monster. The dragon." He laughs to himself, stubbing out the burning fag. You don't know what it is that he finds so funny, but you wish you knew so you could laugh along instead of crying.

He cages you in against the sofa, causing you to press even harder against the soft backrest. The message is clear - you'd let the house consume you before you let him as much as kiss you.

"It fits the story nicely, don't you think?" The man remarks, playing with a strand of your hair gleefuly just like a child would. You assume he derives some sick pleasure from touching you so casually - from caressing you, petting you, holding you. It's not even sexual, but it always shakes you to your core, and maybe for him that's the best part - where you can't go anywhere, but in his arms.

"Huh?" You break from your thoughts, growing confused. "Your analogy." He explains while still all over you. "It makes sense. I fought for you, and I won you fair and square." His eyes light up with the ferocity of a hunter. "I wanted you so I took you like the greedy bastard I am. I have no regrets - and if that makes me a villain, then so be it. I will burn the world down if it means you'd be all mine." His fist wraps around your loose locks, almost gentle, but not quite. There is something unnatural in his smile - you can't help, but imagine blood dripping from his chin. "But there is something your magic tales get wrong." Raven whispers diabolically, snapping his fingers. Everything goes dark - and his coat slips down on the floor.

"W-what?" You ask, shaking like a leaf - both afraid and deadly curious. You try to sharpen your senses, but you remain blind to his shadow - and the way it moves right between your legs, positioning them around his hips. You feel his manhood prod at your pubic bone, and you heart sinks to your stomach. "The ending." Your captor mutters, pushing you on your back, and you curse the electronic chair when it goes all the way down with little fight. "The moment when the cards are on the table..." He all but tears off the first button of your shirt. "And the princess is all alone with the monster. Face to face - with nowhere to go."

His tongue is hot on your neck - you try to push him off, but he pins down your wrists with feral force, growling like a wild beast. "And this time no one is coming to save her."

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 3

Masterlist taglist

Hard conversations and 1st meal with the Omegas.

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl

There was one open seat left in the living room. An oversized, overstuffed chair. I moved around the others, not missing the way they leaned towards me to sniff as I passed by. I wanted to hug myself and hide. It was very weird to be sniffed so openly.

Felix sat close to Chan, still not looking up. Chan had an arm over his lap.

“Anyone here not completely convinced y/n is their Alpha? Our Alpha?” Chan asked.

I looked around the room, no one spoke up or raised their hand.

"None of the other Alphas even came close to smelling like her. My instincts are going crazy right now.” Hyunjin confirmed.

"Hey Chan.” I spoke saccharine sweet.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I hate you.”

"No, you don’t. You’re just being dramatic.”

"My life is over! I’m allowed to be dramatic!

Chan just rolled his eyes, ignoring my entire fucking crisis. I wanted to scream, cry, and punch him all at the same time.

"Hyung, you said you were going to explain.” Changbin reminded.

And so, Chan went on to tell everyone all about his quick trip to my small town and the deal that was made. It occurred to me that I never planned beyond the week. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be the one to be able to bond with them. So, I made no plans on what to do next. If I should do anything.

“So, you’re not going to bond us?” Seungmin asked when Chan was finished.

They were all looking at me again, making me feel incredibly self-conscious. “I didn’t plan on this actually working.” I was the only response I would truly, honestly give them. I didn’t know what to do now.

"She is going to be here for the week. No one is going to bug or pressure her to stay beyond that.” Chan warned. “Let JYP and I discuss it with her.”

And I’m sure there will be a lot of discussions. A lot of promises made. Guilt trips. I would get it all.

"So, nothing’s been solved. We are still just as screwed as ever.” Lee Know sounded angry and I looked at my lap knowing this was all because of me.

I stood up. “Maybe I should go-“ I pointed a thumb at the door.

“No!” The response was immediate and from every Omega in the room, making me blink.

Han reached and grabbed my forearm. “You promised a week.” He reminded. His chemo signals smelled of anxiety and fear.

“To a hotel. I was going to say to a hotel.” I finished. I had meant to suggest the hotel to give them time to discuss this without me.

“We can’t guarantee no one will smell your subgender in a hotel. It’s not safe.” Cahn reminded gently.

I let my head fall back before I dropped into a crouched ball and hid my face in my knees and arms, tears threatening behind my eyes. Everything was so messed up now.

I felt someone crouch next to me and start to rub my back, but I didn’t look to see who.

"You guys know how dangerous it can be for an Alpha nowadays.” Chan started talking again, softly. “We have heard horror stories from almost every Alpha we’ve tried. y/n has been hiding her subgender with suppressants. Even coming here is a huge risk for her. Let’s all keep that in mind.”

There was a heavy thump on my upper arm that I assumed was the person rubbing my back resting their forehead on me. The contacts made me feel better.

They showed me to what appeared to be a guest bedroom. There were faint scents of other Alphas so this must have been made up specifically for potential bonding Alphas. It even has its own bathroom. It just reminded me again what I am really here for.

I sighed and bid them goodnight, shutting the door with no plans to actually sleep. I was on an opposite sleep schedule then them. And I slept on the plane not too long ago.

By the end of the week, I’ll be on the same sleep schedule as them, only to go home and repeat the whole process all over again.

Instead, I stripped off my clothes and ran a nice hot bath. Grabbing my phone and a book I brought I slowly settled into the water, hoping for a relaxing time reading and doom scrolling to pass the night.

I did manage a few hours of sleep near dawn. Hopefully enough to get me through the day. I was awake and dressed for the day when Chan knocked on my door. I bid him enter.

“Um, breakfast is ready.” He informed. He looked unsure.

I nodded. “I’ll be right out.” I needed a moment to gather the strength and courage to face everyone again. My dream of meeting Stray Kids has turned into a nightmare.

But instead of leaving, Chan stepped in and shut the door. I watched him in question.

"I wanted to apologize for last night. Things did not go like any of us planned.”

I snorted softly. That was an understatement. “It’s fine, Chan. I just-I don’t know what to do now.” I admitted.

He smiled sadly and nodded. “Well, you have all week to figure it out. In the meantime, just enjoy your time here.”

I followed Chan out to the table where everyone was sitting in varying stages of being awake. I sat at an empty chair between Seungmin and I.N, noticing no one had started eating yet. I wondered what they were waiting on.

When I was settled I.N started putting food on my plate for me. Heavy on all the best stuff. Then he sat back, and everyone looked at me. I blinked not knowing what they wanted.

“You have to start eating.” Han whispered helpfully from across the table.

“Why?” I whispered back. I was the only one with food, it would be rude to eat in front of them.

“You’re Alpha.” He said it like that explained everything.

“It’s an instinct thing. Just take a bite.” Seungmin sounded exasperated with the whole thing.

So, I picked up my chopsticks and took a bite. As soon as I did, they flurried into motion, filling their own plate and eating. Then I realized what happened. It finally clicked into place.

Their Omega instincts wouldn’t let them start eating until their freaking Alpha did. I felt sick to my stomach suddenly and set my chopsticks down.

I stayed at the table only because if I left it would have upset them, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat another bite. If any of them noticed, they didn’t bring it up. Instead, they talked amongst themselves, pretty much ignoring me entirely now that I did what they needed.

Slowly they all finished and left the table to start their day, leaving the dishes, leftovers, and me alone at the table. My eyes pricked with tears again as I started to gather dishes to clean up.

This is what they expected from their Alpha. Follow them around the world, take care of them, clean up after them, fulfill their instinctual needs. If I stayed, that’s what I had to look forward to at “home”. Meanwhile, their managers would shape me into the idol Alpha that can be seen with Stay Kids and make them money.

I put away the food, did the dishes, wiped the table, and swept the floor all in silence. While I did, I could hear the 8 Omegas going about their day. A small group was in the living room playing games. Some were in their rooms; doors open but doing their own thing. They were loud, yelling at each other from different rooms. Chaotic as they enjoyed their days.

With nothing else to do I set up my laptop at the table, put some headphones in, and logged into work. I would get an email from my boss later since I was supposed to be on vacation, but it was after hours back home, so he wouldn’t know for hours yet, and I needed a distraction.

There wasn’t so much a lunch as people made something to eat when they were hungry, so I was spared being used as an Alpha for the moment. I had a feeling dinner would not be the same story.

Not even one of them spoke to me all day. Ignored my presence as if I was a lamp or coffee table, only interacting with me when they needed me.

“You’re stinking up the room.” Lee Know complained as I.N filled up my dinner plate.

I had been in my own depressing thoughts as I stared at my plate. Instead of answering him I took a bite of food and chewed as they all loaded their dishes.

I was once again left with clean up.

As I was washing dishes, the doorbell rang. Assuming someone would get it, I kept washing. The bell rang again a minute later.

“Someone get the door!” Seungmin yelled.

I sighed as I dried my hands as I walked over to the door. It was JYP. “Chans in the living room.” I informed him as I went back to the dishes.

But he followed me instead. “They already have you doing chores, huh?” He joked.

I tried to smile, but my lips wobbled dangerously so I quickly looked away, back to the dishes. “Just doing my job. An Alpha takes care of their Omegas. Even prospective ones. However temporary.”

That’s right. This was only for the promised week. I didn’t have to stay. They weren’t my Omegas. 1 week, and my end of the bargain was fulfilled. Just play their game.

Since I was avoiding looking up from the dishes, I was startled when JYPs hand entered my vision, gently taking the sponge. I looked over. He had rolled his sleeves up to the elbows.

“Let me help. You can dry.” He said gently.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Unwilling Alpha Taglist: @xxeiraxx @hanniemylovelyquokka @breadedloafs @songleepark @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hyunjinhoexxx @kayleefriedchicken @vietjeb

[soleminisanction]

I've always really liked DC's in-house choice of referring to their various superhero groupings as "families," but it has gotten a little frustrating recently with people both in canon and in fandom seeming to forget that families aren't just a parental-unit-and-kids formation. They're complicated, and a lot of the DC families are too messy to fit into that neat little nuclear family mode.

Which is to say... here's some scattered thoughts/summaries about how these families are actually structured in canon, because I think it's interesting:

Supers -- The smaller, more traditional Superfamily (Clark, Lois, Kara, Kon, etc.) is a pretty traditional Midwestern nuclear family, with Jimmy Olsen filling the role of close family friend/goofy neighbor sidekick (in the Silver Age, he was Kara's would-be suitor) and Steel feeling more like part of Clark's personal circle of friends. The recent line up, though, with Jon, the twins, Kong and Nat? Starts to feel more like some old dynasty or noble house, complete with fostered foundlings and the Steels acting almost like knights under a noble's banner, possibly reflective of what the House of El would have been on Krypton.

Arrows -- Might currently be the closet to a traditional nuclear family structure. You've got Ollie and Dinah, their younger sisters, Ollie's adopted and biological children, and Ollie's granddaughter through Roy, plus by some counts Roy's co-parent and her sister as "in-laws." Bonnie and Cissie King-Jones are adjacent to but not technically "part" of the family, though I believe it's implied at one point that Ollie might also be Cissie's bio-dad. Pretty straightforward, these guys are actually family and they act like it, for good and ill.

Shazam Family -- Also a literal, actual family. Not originally, the original golden age "Marvel Family" was considerably more complicated and only Billy and Mary were full siblings, but nowadays the whole point of the modern Shazam family is that they're foster siblings united by familial love and that's fantastic. Meanwhile your average Black Adam story is 75% angsty family drama, 25% Egyptian mythology references.

Flashes -- Technically closer to three nuclear families (the Allens, the Wests and the Garricks; four if you include the Quicks), two of whom are united by marriage and all of whom are bound by the Speedforce, which, given its semi-spiritual connections to things like Speedster afterlives, can act almost like a religious force that connects them to the additional members like Avery, Circuit Breaker and Max as Bart's foster-dad. They're a big, sprawling tree with more cousins than siblings, the kind of family that functionally has a reunion every Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Lanterns -- Now these guys are the exception that proves my point about the whole 'family' thing not being straightforward. The lanterns aren't a family, they're a corps. Soldiers. Space cops. Comrades-in-arms. They respect each other, have each other's backs, might even like or care about each other, but those last two are optional, and they don't have the same kind of assumed obligations towards each other that a family would have. They're friends and co-workers, not family, but that doesn't mean their relationships are less significant, they're just different.

Wonders -- Roughly half of them are either one of Hippolyta's daughters (Diana, Donna, Nubia pre-Crisis) or related to them through the gods (Cassie), and the other half (Artemis, Yara, modern-age Nubia) use sister as a term of endearment more in a utopian lesbian commune kind of way. I think they brought Steve Trevor back recently? He's basically the Ken in this equation and perfectly fine with that role. None of which should be surprising if you've seen Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Bats -- This is the one that people get really wrong when they try to force it into a traditional family structure. Don't let WFA fool you, the Bats are and have always been way more a snarled mess of tangled interpersonal relationships than they've ever been a cohesive family. Whether Dick is Bruce's son or his brother depends on what era you're talking about, and the former reading is much more recent than you think -- as in "started cropping up in the early 2000s" recent. Barbara is both Cassandra's sister and her mother. Duke and Steph both have living parents and neither of them want or would ever dream of treating Bruce like their dad; Tim was the same way until his dad died. None of the Robins ever lived in the mansion together, nor did Cass. Babs considered Jean-Paul Valley her brother and Huntress is so close to Tim she once hallucinated him calling her Big Sister. They're a beautiful mess of people finding places where their broken edges fit together into something that works for them and trying to reduce it down to a cozy nuclear family is just so goddamn reductive and lazy.

Blue Beetles -- Are only tangentially related to each other. Seriously, they never even get direct mentoring, each one just takes over when the previous one dies and works on completely different rules from the other two. They're complete strangers bound by a legacy and that's honestly pretty fun.

Zataras -- There's only three of them and they're literally a father, daughter and cousin.

Martians -- Not really a family because there's only the two of them, but an interesting case where the two survivors of what was functionally a war of mutually assured destruction came together in an attempt to find some peace in the aftermath of what they'd lost.

Titans -- The JLA and JSA aren't really in the "family" category, but the Titans lean into it hard, mostly because they're a textbook found family. They don't mirror a nuclear family structure, they're simply a group of people who came together to form a mutual support network. They're the idealized college friends you grew into your own with, some of them childhood companions and others you only met once you leave home for the first time, but all of them friends that you manage to maintain contact with for life, with everyone coming back together even as you scatter and do your own things.

Young Justice -- Meanwhile, this team is the chaotic group of misfits you hung out with when you were a teenager, especially when you were just starting to be allowed to act without adult supervision. You drive each other crazy, none of you know you're all queer as fuck, and you'd fight a bear for any of them even if they asked you not to. They'd probably be insulted if you tried to call them a family. They come out here to get away from their families, thank you very much.

[kindnessoverperfection]

I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

[444takeomi]

YOU’RE PERFECT

: ̗̀➛ summary: your boyfriend always seems to know how to make you feel better when you're insecure

character(s): shinichiro sano

warnings: female reader, nsfw, unprotected sex, mentions of body image issues and insecurities, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving), fingering, mating press, creampie, mirror sex, love-making, praise, dirty talk, lots of body worship, crying during sex, v v sappy

wc: 4.2k

a/n: this one took me quite a while to write as it's very personal to me, i still kinda hate how it turned out but i hope some of you can relate to it and find comfort in it as well. i tried to be as non-specific as possible when describing the reader’s insecurities so apologies if it comes across as a bit vague, i tried my best ahahah

it was another one of those days, one that had you looking at your own reflection and hating everything you saw in front of you.

feeling uncomfortable in your own skin wasn’t exactly anything new to you, having felt unsatisfied with the way you looked for as long as you could remember. with that being said, today in particular had left you feeling much worse about yourself than usual, and you found yourself unable to refrain from picking apart your entire appearance. despite your best efforts at reassuring yourself that you didn't look as bad as you thought, nothing you said was able to provide you with any sort of comfort — if anything you just felt even more hopeless.

it had come to the point where it was almost hard to believe that the person staring back at you in the mirror was actually you. the sight of your own body straight up disgusted you, and you just couldn't understand how it was possible for someone to be so hideous. it was hard to even look at yourself — had it always been this bad? you didn't even want to think about it.

the way your clothes clung to your body did nothing except highlight how blatantly disproportionate your features were, and you were starting to regret your choice of not opting for something baggier when you got dressed this morning. oversized clothing was the only thing that you felt suited you nowadays, the loose fabric swallowing up your figure and concealing all of your flaws, temporarily putting your mind at ease and making you forget about the hard reality of what was hiding under those clothes.

you really tried to distract yourself, to do anything other than spend the entire day wallowing in self-pity over something as superficial as your appearance, but your feelings of self-consciousness persisted no matter how hard you tried to ignore them, which led you to where you were now — clothes scattered across the floor as you stared at the reflection of your bare figure, managing to somehow find fault in every part of yourself.

you knew that your boyfriend shin was living proof that you were indeed worthy of love, but you often found yourself wondering if you were really good enough for him — he was so handsome and tall with such a perfectly toned body, and not to mention he was the most hardworking person you knew, and overall was just an absolute sweetheart who always put everyone else's needs before his own.

he was so wonderful, and you couldn't help but think he deserved someone so much better.

it made matters worse when you subconsciously started comparing yourself to all the other girls shin had asked out in the past, focusing on everything they had that you lacked, appearance or otherwise, and you couldn't help but notice how they all had one thing in common — how absolutely gorgeous they all were. you wondered if shin was just settling when he finally asked you out, it would make sense given the fact that all those girls were clearly far more attractive than you ever were.

shin always looked at you with nothing but adoration, and even if at times you were unable to understand exactly why, it was still clear that he loved you with all his heart. however, no matter how hard you tried to block it out, you always found yourself listening to that little voice in the back of your mind — the one that repeatedly told you how unattractive you were, that you weren’t deserving of love, that you weren’t good enough.

you were so lost in thought that you didn't even hear as your boyfriend came home from work and greeted you from downstairs, too preoccupied with the heavy feeling in your chest as you fixated on every imperfection you saw whilst you stared at your own reflection. shin was a little worried upon not hearing you answer him, used to your usual cheerful welcome as you paused whatever you were doing to give him a warm hug and ask him about his day.

he began searching the house for you, checking each room before making his way upstairs, just to make sure that you were okay. he opened the door to your shared bedroom, and you watched through the reflection of the mirror as he walked in, feeling the sudden urge to cover your body with your hands and hide yourself from his gaze.

shin’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight in front of him, and he couldn't help but whistle lowly as he took in your naked figure in its entirety. he looked you up and down, in complete awe as he wondered how someone could be so beautiful without even trying. he felt a little giddy at the thought of you doing this on purpose to surprise him, especially after he'd had such a long day at work. he could feel his cock twitch in his pants as he shamelessly checked you out, his mind beginning to wander as his dark eyes clouded with lust.

“damn, baby. what did i do to deserve all—” shin paused, abruptly cutting himself off upon seeing your saddened expression as you turned to face him, “hey, what's the matter, sweetheart?”

you shook your head at him, averting your gaze in hopes that he wouldn't see the tears that were beginning to well up in your vision.

“it's nothing, i’m fine,” you sniffled, fingers coming up to gently pat at the corners of your eyes, “i just want to be alone right now.”

you didn't want to lie to him, in fact you desperately wanted to tell him everything that was on your mind, wanted him to comfort you and reassure you like he always did whenever you felt like this. the last thing you wanted to do was push him away, but at the same time you knew that you couldn't keep doing this to him. it was obvious how tired he was after a hard day's work, and the last thing he needed right now was you burdening him with something as pathetic as your own insecurities, but here you were.

“no, you're not,” needless to say shin wasn't convinced, easily seeing through your rather weak attempt at hiding how you were truly feeling from him, “i’m not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong.”

you sighed, swallowing the lump in your throat as you desperately tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. how could he be so perfect? he was always so kind and caring, so patient with you regardless of how exhausted he was after working so hard to provide for the both of you — you didn't know what you did to deserve him.

“why do i have to look like this?” you turned back towards the mirror, voice wobbly as you finally broke down crying, “i— no matter what i do i never feel good enough. i’m so sick of feeling like this, i just… i just wish i was pretty.”

“oh, sweetheart, come here,” shin came to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into his chest as he looked at you through the reflection of the mirror with so much love in his eyes, “you know i think you're perfect the way you are, i just wish you could see yourself the way i do.”

shin was familiar with your insecurities, and he always tried his best to console you despite the fact he couldn't possibly understand why you felt so negatively about yourself. he hated seeing you like this, hated seeing you unhappy with the body he loved so much, it made his heart ache. he didn't know why you constantly talked down on yourself, didn't know how you could be so blind to your own beauty when it was so obvious to him.

he wanted to show you the way he felt about your body, wanted to make you feel loved and desired. he knew that while he wouldn't be able to completely alleviate your feelings of insecurity, regardless of how much he wanted to, he hoped that if he carried on showing you exactly how much you meant to him that in time you would start to realise just how amazing you were.

“shin, w–what are you doing?” you asked, voice faltering as you felt his hands beginning to caress your sides, before they came to rest comfortably on your hips.

your breath hitched in your throat as he began placing open-mouthed kisses along your neck and shoulders, his hands kneading the flesh beneath his palms, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch as your eyes fluttered shut and you let out a sigh of pleasure.

“showing you just how gorgeous i think you are,” he replied lowly, his breath fanning against the shell of your ear, “is that okay, baby?”

“shin, you don't have to,” you insisted, biting your lip as he began sucking a hickey onto the skin of your neck, “you've— aah— you've had a long day, you should rest.”

“want you so bad,” he mumbled against your skin, pressing his erection into the curve of your ass, “been thinking about you all day, please?”

his words were making you needier than you would've liked to admit, looking into his dark eyes through the mirror as you began imagining all the things he was going to do to you. shin always made you feel so loved during sex, worshipping every inch of your body and telling you just how beautiful you were. the thought of that alone made you squeeze your thighs together as you nodded, knowing that despite how self-conscious you were feeling, deep down you really needed that kind of treatment right now.

you let out a soft gasp as he picked you up, carrying you over to the bed and carefully laying you down before hungrily pressing his lips against yours. you melted into the kiss, a small whine escaping your throat as soon as he pulled away.

“shhh, let me take care of you, pretty.”

you felt as his lips softly brushed against the valley of your breasts, his dark hair tickling your skin. he looked up at you, smiling fondly as you turned your head away in an attempt to avert your gaze elsewhere, embarrassed by the intimacy of it all. shin took your hand in his, gently squeezing it in hopes of reassuring you a little, before his head dipped back down and he began peppering more kisses over the entirety of your chest, his other hand squeezing your waist before coming to cup one of the mounds of flesh in his palm.

“my baby’s got the prettiest tits, i'm a lucky guy,” he told you, taking your nipple into his mouth and flicking his tongue over the hardened bud, his thumb running across the back of your hand that was interlaced with his own.

you squeezed your eyes shut, feeling too self-conscious to look at your own body as he touched you. as much as you tried to suppress them, several needy mewls and whimpers slipped past your lips as you softly ran your fingers through his hair. shin couldn't help but groan against your skin as he sucked your tit into his mouth, feeling his cock starting to leak in his pants as you arched your chest into him and the sounds of your sweet noises filled the room. once he was satisfied, he released your nipple with a pop, and you felt him eagerly switching to your other breast as he began giving it the same treatment.

after making sure both of your tits had been shown plenty of attention, he went back to kissing along your body, his lips trailing down your tummy as his hand came to gently rub and massage at your hip. you opened your eyes and immediately felt yourself stiffen — instantly noticing the way your stomach looked in your current position, and you just hoped that shin wasn't paying any mind to it.

your feelings weren't lost on him, he noticed the way you tensed up ever so slightly whenever he touched you in certain places, noticed the way your gaze seemed to land anywhere but his eyes. you were so easy to read, your reactions alone telling him everything he needed to know. shin couldn't help himself as he came up to kiss you once again, feeling the heat radiating from your face as his lips gently brushed against yours, before taking your hand that was still entwined with his and bringing it down towards the obvious tent in his pants.

“feel that? feel what your pretty body does to me?” he groaned, your fingers brushing against his aching cock, “you make me so fucking hard.”

you looked down shyly, feeling your face growing even hotter than it was already as you squirmed underneath him — his compliments and praises made your stomach flutter and goosebumps prickle across your skin.

shin made his way between your thighs, prying your legs apart as his lips began trailing sloppily along your skin, gently squeezing the soft flesh beneath his palms. you could feel yourself growing embarrassingly wet as you watched him, excitement beginning to pool in your gut as his dark eyes locked with yours and his mouth gradually made its way closer towards your awaiting heat.

“such a pretty pussy, m’gonna make you feel so fucking good,” he drawled, staring at you in awe before he started pressing open-mouthed kisses over your slit, splitting your folds apart with his tongue and groaning at the taste of your slick.

shin was entirely fixated on you as your face contorted in pleasure, your chest rising and falling with each shaky breath as he took your clit between his lips, his mouth hungrily latching onto the swollen bud. one of your hands instinctively came up to cover part of your face, worried that your expression was off-putting and that you looked especially unattractive from this angle, but your boyfriend wasn't having any of it. he grabbed hold of your wrist, guiding your hand away and granting him a full view of your cute face, watching in infatuation as your brows furrowed and your mouth fell slightly agape.

he couldn't help but growl into you, the vibrations making you jolt in pleasure as you let out a squeal, feeling yourself throbbing against his tongue as you clamped your thighs around his head. shin lifted your legs over his shoulders, giving him complete access to you — he could feel himself slowly losing all remaining self-restraint as he proceeded to absolutely devour you. he continued to slurp at your clit, flicking his tongue over the nub and moaning loudly into your folds, unable to stop himself from humping the mattress below him when you began eagerly grinding your pussy against his face.

that familiar feeling started to build up in your gut, his mouth already drawing you towards your release. before you even had the chance to tell him you were close, you felt your orgasm rip through you, throwing your head back as your whole body tensed up and incoherent, broken whimpers of his name fell from your lips. both of your hands came to tangle themselves in his hair, rolling your hips against his face and practically suffocating him with your cunt as you rode out your orgasm.

once you had come down from your high, shin began stripping himself of his usual white t-shirt and jeans, and you watched as his gorgeous body was revealed to you in all of its entirety. you couldn't help but feel your thoughts of insecurity starting to resurface once again, overcome with the urge to hide yourself from him even after he had just been between your thighs. it didn't take long for shin to notice the way you suddenly began to shy away from him, and so he pulled you into another soft yet deep kiss, holding your face in his hands and gently caressing along your jaw as his lips moulded with yours.

after the two of you pulled apart, he briefly pressed his forehead against yours, his fingertips lightly brushing up and down your arm in a soothing manner, before his hands settled themselves on the backs of your thighs. he pushed your legs upwards and folded you in half, pressing his hardened cock against your pussy as he began to gently glide the head over your soaked folds, sliding the tip right against your sensitive clit. you cried out, your walls clenching around nothing as you clutched onto his shoulders, nails pressing crescent shapes into his skin.

“patience, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear, taking your earlobe between his teeth and softly nibbling on the flesh.

you felt as the tip came to rest at your entrance before he carefully slipped himself inside of you, his thick cock stretching you out and filling you to the brim. he let out a low grunt as you clamped down on him, biting his lip as he stilled himself inside of you and buried his face into the crook of your neck.

“you're so beautiful, can't believe you're mine, my pretty girl,” he continued to murmur sweet praises against your skin, his hand interlocking with yours as he began thrusting into you.

“shin, i— mmmh! ahhh, please—!” you mewled, indistinct babbles and whimpers falling uncontrollably from your lips at the feeling of every inch of his cock dragging slowly against your walls.

“i know, baby, i know. just— fuuuck, just sit back and let me make you feel good, okay?”

it was all too much, but in the best possible way. everything just felt so right, from the feeling of his chest pressing against yours to the way he meticulously worked his hips into you at the perfect angle. a sweet slapping sound began to fill the room, alongside the combination of his needy groans and whines about how good you felt in your ear, mixed with your sobs of pleasure at the feeling of his pubic bone brushing against your clit. shin looked at you with so much love, like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on — it made tears start to well up in your eyes, but this time they weren't from sadness.

in that moment you just felt so appreciated, to the point where all of your insecurities and self-critical thoughts momentarily left your mind as you completely lost yourself in pleasure, unable to think of anything else aside from how good it all felt. your boyfriend’s thumb came to wipe your tears away before his lips locked with yours, the pair of you moaning desperately into each other’s mouths as his thrusts picked up in pace, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix as he fucked you deep.

shin was reluctant to break the kiss, addicted to the feeling of your lips against his in combination with your walls squeezing around his cock. however, the way his lungs were practically begging for oxygen didn't give him much choice in the matter, and he found himself gasping for breath as he pulled away, his eyes squeezed shut as his brows furrowed in pleasure. you reached upwards to hold his face in your hand, the other refusing to let go of his own as you interlaced your fingers together. shin leaned down to press his forehead against yours as his hips began to stutter, his pace faltering as he felt himself drawing closer to his own release.

“fuck— baby, m’gonna cum. gonna cum deep inside this pretty fuckin’ pussy,” he growled, feeling as your walls clamped down on him at his words, “yeah, you like that? want me to cream inside this tight little cunt? fill you up nice and full?”

“mhm, yes please— ahhh! want your cum, shin, please don't stop, i— mmh, need to feel you…”

“that's my good girl. take it, take it— fuck, that’s it, baby. such a good girl for me.”

he finished with a few sloppy thrusts, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he fell over the edge, his hot cum shooting into you in several thick ropes. you could feel your clit throbbing as you clenched around him, the heat between your thighs continuing to grow as you watched shin ride out his orgasm.

his cock began to soften as he gently slipped himself out of you, watching intently as his cum dribbled out of your hole. he was well aware that he had reached his high before you did, eager to get you off again and bring you to another orgasm — tonight was supposed to be about you, after all. before you could oppose, he sat you at the edge of the bed with you in his lap, facing you towards the mirror so that you could look at yourself.

“wanna make you cum on my fingers, baby,” he mumbled into your ear, spreading your legs apart as his hand made its way between your thighs, “want you to see how pretty you are when you cum nice and hard for me.”

two of his digits circled your entrance before he slowly pushed them inside, taking note of how easily they slipped into you after having previously stretched you out with his cock. he began curling them upwards, softly massaging your g-spot while his other hand came to caress your waist, travelling down towards your hip and then back up again. shin placed several kisses along your neck before his hand suddenly picked up in pace, the heel of his palm smacking against your clit as his fingers pumped in and out of you and a wet sticky sound proceeded to fill the room.

“look at you, so fucking gorgeous,” he told you, looking at you through the reflection in complete awe as his hand began roaming across your body, “so perfect here… and here… and right here, too.”

the more you stared at your own reflection, the more different you felt from earlier. your eyes no longer seemed to gravitate towards everything that you thought was wrong with you, and it was as if you were just simply seeing yourself as you were in that present moment, just existing within your body. you couldn't take your eyes off the mirror and suddenly you found yourself wanting to watch — wanting to watch him touch you, wanting to watch his hands trail over every part of your body, wanting to watch yourself fall apart because of him.

you wanted shin to watch too, how could you not when his eyes showed nothing but love and adoration for you and your body?

you could feel your legs beginning to shake and you found yourself frantically bucking your hips into his hand, your orgasm rapidly approaching as you grabbed onto his wrist and abruptly fell over the edge once again. you began gasping and whimpering as your vision turned white and you creamed all over his fingers, and shin watched your reflection in admiration as you came down from your high — the only thing he could think was how beautiful you looked in that moment as you completely let go, your eyes rolling back as you were consumed by pleasure.

once you had fully rode out your orgasm, shin gently removed his fingers from you, the two of you sitting in a peaceful silence knowing that words didn't need to be exchanged right away and you could just enjoy one another’s presence for a moment. he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder as his lips brushed against your skin.

“are you feeling a little better now, sweetheart?” he asked you, finally breaking the silence.

“mhm, definitely,” you nodded, feeling yourself starting to smile, “thank you, shin.”

while you were aware that this feeling wasn't going to be permanent, and that there would still be days to come in the future where you would feel unsatisfied with your body again, you knew that if nothing else, your sweet boyfriend would always be there to help you slowly start to love yourself a little more.

“i should take a shower,” he pondered, unable to stop himself from grinning as he added, “care to join me?”

you rolled your eyes, trying to fight back a smile but ultimately failing as your expression mirrored his own and you nodded, feeling as he excitedly took your hand and led you towards the bathroom. the two of you stepped into the shower, the warm water running over your tired bodies as you helped wash away the sweat and cum from each other’s skin. as to be expected, you both found yourselves unable to keep your hands off each other, and one thing slowly led to another which ultimately resulted in the two of you fooling around once again, not that either of you were complaining.

and afterwards shin pulled you into his chest and just held you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he mumbled soft praises into your skin that were barely loud enough for you to hear. although there was one which you were just about able to make sense of, and you felt your heart flutter as you realised what it was that he had said to you.

“i love the way your body feels against mine.”

please do not translate, repost, or share my writing on any other platforms eg. tiktok

[princesssascha]

Summer Glow Up Action Plan (1/3 - Health)

As I mentioned in my previous post, we are going to have the best summer of our lives.

I was depressed for years, but during the summer, in just 2 months I became truly unrecognisable.

I did it unintentionally, but I believe I cracked the code to glowing up insanely fast. That is, if you're willing to get out of your comfort zone for a few weeks. But what's worse? Being uncomfortable for 2 months doing something that is good for you OR suffering for years? I'll let you answer that for yourself.

Thanks to my experience I made an action plan to make this summer even better and I'd love to do it together with YOU.

1. Mental Health

If your soul is shattered, your body will reflect that. By taking care of your mind you will automatically want to take care of yourself in every other way. Not because you think you're not pretty enough or smart enough, but because you deserve to be healthy and educated.

Get out of your comfort zone

Whatever that is. Last year I went abroad all by myself. I was so insecure about my English and I was soo socially awkward, but I did it. And when I tell you it was the most special feeling in the world. It was stressful at first, but I came back as a new person. I think it was the main factor that contributed to my mental glow up.

Obviously, you don't have to travel to a different country to glow up, but think about what's something you'd like to try that you're afraid to do. Maybe it's bungee jumping, going out to a restaurant alone, coming up to someone on the street. It is supposed to make you uncomfortable, it's called exposure therapy and it is really one of the best things that I have ever stumbled across.

Meditate

It's popular for a reason. Quiet your mind, control your breathing. You can also do yoga, as it requires the same things as meditation, however you also get physical exercise! Start with 5-10 minutes a day and work your way up to whatevers comfortable for you. You can try guided meditation/yoga for beginners.

Go outside

There's a reason why people tell you it's so important.

First, you get physical exercise, you get fit, you get healthy and everyone's happy.

Like actually happy. Physical exercise (the kind you enjoy ofc!) and being outdoors is proven to be good for your mental health. So go out. You can go somewhere crowded or somewhere isolated like a forest. You can take your pet on a walk if you have one.

Self development content

Especially YouTube, I get that some people can't get themselves to read books, but nowadays there are so many ways to educate ourselves. I will mention this topic again in this post, but I love watching YouTubers that post self development & mindset videos.

My favourite YouTubers are:

TheWizardLiz,

Mae Alice Suzuki,

Tam Kaur

If you like reading I recommend Brianna West, she's incredible.

Affirmations

I am such a fan of affirmations! If you feel bad about yourself start affirming the opposite? You feel insecure? "I am confident" etc. You don't want to affirm out loud. You can do it in your mind or listen to affirmation tapes. Even if you don't feel like it's doing anything KEEP PERSISTING! Your mind will conform.

2. Physical Health

This chapter focuses on health, not beauty, although they are connected. If you're unhealthy you won't be that attractive, because we find health attractive. So here I'll share more advice on being healthier rather than getting a sexier body. Healthy>sexy because HEALTH is SEXY!!

Vitamins and supplements

You can't be healthy if you have a vitamin deficiency. Get a blood test and start taking supplements for what you need.

Here's a little cheat sheet, although please do your own research to be safe and be mindful of what dosage you can ingest!!

Visit a doctor regularly!

If you are getting a disease it's important to diagnose it as soon as possible. In some cases it could save your life!

You need to go to your doctor at least once a year, but you should visit them at least twice a year and whenever you have any concerns. That includes a dentist, gynecologist, dermatologist etc. Although I understand not everyone has free healthcare and there are many reasons why it could be difficult for you to get there, at least go to one doctor once a year or when you suspect something is wrong.

Check up on yourself every month

Of course, you're not gonna go to the doctor every month, so it's important to do a little check up yourself every month. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

- what does your skin look like?

Are there any new moles? Maybe some spots? Just because you have a mole doesn't mean it's dangerous, but a mole could turn into skin cancer, so please be careful! Here are a few tips for recognising if a mole is actually a melanoma:

Melanoma is more likely the paler you are, but no matter what your skin color is you should always wear at least SPF30, although the higher the better. If sunscreens are too greasy for you or leave a whitecast I recommend Missha All-around safe block

Look at your skin, did anything strange appear? Something that wasn't there before? Don't forget about the inside of your mouth or between your toes. Although not very common, melanoma can also appear in your eye, in which case you need to contact a doctor ASAP!!

oral health

I don't think I need to tell you to wash your teeth, but I will still share some tips for those pretty teeth:

Oil pulling: get a spoonful of coconut oil and oil pull for 10-20 minutes. After that rinse your mouth thoroughly.

Wash your teeth for at least 2 minutes after every meal and after waking up, HOWEVER if you eat something acidic wait for at least 30 minutes until you wash your teeth. If you can't wash them rinse your mouth with water, but you should still wash them when you get home.

Use a tongue scraper! Like one of those steel/metal ones and scrape that bad boy. It is honestly disgusting how much bacteria sits on your tongue. There are also 2in1 tongue scrapers and flosses but it won't scrape anything off, so save your money. Also, only use flosses when necessary.

CHECK FOR CAVITIES!!

Seriously! I don't think it needs any explanation. Open your mouth and show your teeth. Look at how they look. If there's anything concerning contact your dentist.

skincare

Although it also suits the beauty part, what we find beautiful is just healthy. No skin conditions, clear glowy skin. What skin concerns do you have? Acne, hyperpigmentation, redness etc. Visit a dermatologist or find some skincare yourself, although do it carefully. Just because something is trendy doesn't mean it's good. Everyone's skin is different, so be mindful.

Also, there are different kinds of pimples, so check which types you have and how you can heal them. You can have just one or multiple kinds.

One universal thing: SPF! CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!

haircare

Just like with skincare, healthy hair is what we find beautiful. That's why I emphasize health so much. If you're healthy you are beautiful.

I won't talk about styling right now as it has nothing to do with health, but haircare is 80% of the job.

Is your hair greasy or dry? Keep in mind it can be both, your scalp could be greasy but your ends could be dry. Do you have thick hair or thin hair? Curly or straight? If you bleached your hair it means your hair is damaged (because it's dead), but your hair can be damaged nonetheless, so think about what you need and find products that were made for your concerns.

Learn how to wash your hair correctly. A lot of you guys don't know how to do it. Just because you rub shampoo on your head doesn't mean you're doing it right. And when you're not it could do more harm than good. I recommend theblowoutprofessor on YouTube, he explains it well.

Healthy eating

This is a pretty obvious one so I won't get into details, however if you guys want me to make a post dedicated to healthy eating lemme know in the comments!

Eat veggies and fruits, limit Ur sugar intake. Don't starve yourself, you'll have uncontrollable cravings and you'll get it all back.

move your body

Although good for you both mentally and physically, it's important to choose something you like. Here are my favourite forms of physical activity:

Dancing,

Yoga,

Pilates,

Walking,

Horse riding.

If you don't have a favourite right now, experiment. It doesn't have to be expensive, there are many sports that you can do at home with no equipment.

Try to move for at least 30 minutes/day.

[talesfromlissom]

TFP!OPTIMUS HEADCANNONS  // Optimus x reader tidbits || Part 2 

WARNINGS -  Infertility/sterilization, some mentions of pregnancy(??) , mentions of genocide 

A/N - I put down Elita-1 just because why not, but you can imagine this as an x reader instead. These are mostly Optimus headcanons. I have another post with headcanons about him before he became a Prime HERE. This also is alot longer than I thought it would be please help.

Elaborating on the previous bullet point about Optimus being the last of the data clerks. In the early stages of the war, the High Council ordered a mass extermination of miners after Megatron’s rise to fame. They blamed Orion for it, which caused Megatron to retaliate and order every data clerk to be killed. He was mostly successful. 

After being anointed the next Prime, Optimus was confused. One of the main reasons he advocated for a peaceful resolution to the caste system problems is that he had seen what the Quintesson War had done. He had seen war at its worst and didn’t want that kind of violence put onto the planet again, hence the reason why he always advocated so strongly for peace. 

After becoming the new Prime, he was isolated from the world. He wasn’t allowed to contact any of his friends unless supervised, but he would often sneak out to see them. He doesn’t remember why and thinks that it was because he was friends with many people who hated the caste system like he did. 

If he wasn’t seeing them, then he was painting. He liked to do giant graffiti art murals the most, hence the reason why he has ‘steady hands’. He’d spend an entire night in some abandoned theater or an empty alleyway. You could probably find one if you looked hard enough during the war. He often left the citadel late at night to do this. . 

After the war, most of his murals were knocked down or destroyed. 

Nighttime seemed the only time he had to himself back then, so he’d stay up late doing whatever he wanted. 

He always claimed to be a Prime of the people, not the government. This was reflected in his actions, as he would often donate large amounts of shanix to charities outside the High Council’s jurisdiction. He increasingly got frustrated by the high council’s lack of concern for their people and their refusal to listen to him. 

The High Council eventually appointed him a Lord High Protector due to his increasingly ‘rebellious’ antics (could be the reader/Elita-1, depending on what suits your fancy, ;] ) 

He despised the Protector, as they felt more like a glorified babysitter than a bodyguard. 

Eventually, the High Council got fed up with Optimus’ refusal to listen to them. At his last ceremony, to be officially inducted into the Primacy, they planned to give him a drink laced with sedatives so he’d be more accessible to shadowplay. 

Optimus’ Lord High Protector found this out, contacted his friends, and helped him escape, which made him trust them more. He then went to find the Matrix of Leadership because Megatron’s war was starting to poison the planet. He could feel it somehow, though he couldn’t explain how or why. He still can’t. 

He enjoys drawing A LOT. Given his size, he obviously can’t do graffiti art on earth, but when he goes on ‘patrols,’ half of it is him going somewhere to draw. However, he doesn’t do creative or fun drawings nowadays. It’s mostly art of the people in his life, nature, etc. So, it's primarily observational art. That datapad and pen are his most prized possessions, and he always carries them in his subspace. No, you cannot see it. 

A MASSIVE touch of the ‘tism. He could talk for hours about ancient history, famous literature, or anything like that. He visibly gets more expressive when talking about these things, too (actually canon lmao). He enjoys learning about mythology from other cultures as well. 

He hates group settings and despises oil. He most likely suffers from high empathy, but he tries to be empathetic towards people or animals only to mask this. 

More on the high-functioning side of the spectrum.

He’s very aware of life and deeply existential. He always wonders how life came to be and related matters. He asks many questions and thinks of new ones every day. Hence, Agent Fowler and he are so close. He got stuck in a storage house with him once and asked so many questions about human life/purpose that Fowler aged 50 years. 

His interest in history was easily hidden as just a plain interest in it. He was a data clerk, specifically a data clerk in the history-keeping field, so it’d make sense he’d know a lot about history. Not only that, but he’s also a Prime, so he has to know about the history of his own planet/people exceptionally well. It’s a good thing he already did before the primacy. 

He tends to focus too much on things, almost becoming obsessive, for example, trying to repair his relationship with Megatron, nearly bordering on obsession with doing that very thing. There are times when he will be working at the console and he’ll be so wrapped up in his work that he’ll forget to eat, sleep, take a break, and do things like that. 

He spaces out a lot more than people realize. He’s pretty good at making it look like he’s listening, but he does listen(partially), just not as much as people think he does. People think he’s quiet due to this (which he kind of is but yeah)

His audio finals move a lot, and he used them to stim. The only issue is that due to the energon shortages, many people had to shut down certain parts of their frame, and his fins ended up being one of them. He resolves this by tapping his fingers on his knees instead or letting his smokestacks shake, but this makes people think he’s angry, which confuses him because he’s not. This is probably due to the MASSIVE RBF he has. 

Speaking of brain stuff, he also suffers from C-PTSD. If we’re going by the lore found in The Covenant of Primus, Optimus has been involved in two civil wars—one as a soldier and the other as a leader. Regardless, both of these wars are terrifying. I’d imagine that’s why he seemed to handle the war much better than others—he’s used to it. It doesn’t change the fact that he hated experiencing both of them. 

He has most definitely stumbled upon sparklings once or twice. He usually contacts a neutral colony planet or ship to take them and does so quickly. He’s gotten attached to every sparkling or youngling he comes across, barely able to prevent any sire/carrier protocols from activating. And when I say attached, I mean EXTREMELY attached. You need a parental figure? Congratulations! He’s adopted you. No, you cannot go home; let’s decorate your bedroom together 😀

Speaking of children, he wants his own, but the Matrix is annoying. Most Transformers constantly drift to being hyper-fertile or sterile (I headcanon that the Allspark is primarily responsible for this, but I will probably go into that later. I have a whole process and everything), and Optimus is no exception. 

However, the Matrix takes a lot of power from his frame, including his processor and other parts. It's very taxing. It’s rendered him completely sterile, no matter how potent the Allspark is. This is a sore spot for him, and due to how long the Matrix was in his frame, these effects have remained even after he was resurrected without it. Only Ratchet/Elita-1(or you) know this. 

Jack, Miko, Raf, Bumble Bee, and Smokescreen are all registered under the sparkling category. Those are his kids; don’t touch them. 

WORD COUNT - 1239

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[divasae]

yandere vampire hunter x vampire reader

desc: vampire hunter x vampire reader, yandere tendencies, cat and mouse chase, poisoning, imprisonment

Note: Now that Halloween's approaching, I've been in the spirit, so here's one of my favorite tropes! I originally planned on making a Yandere vampire, but I thought of doing a hunter instead. I mean, they are actively searching for you after all.

word count: 1.4k

Wake up. Hunt. Read. Look outside the window. Sleep. That had been your routine for as long as you remember, and it never changed. How long had it been, months, years? You didn't even know anymore. You had even begun to lose memories of when you were not as lonely, a time when you had family and friends to surround you.

You couldn't even remember why you had chosen to become what you were, but all you lamented on lately, was that if you were able to return to the past and choose again, you would've chosen to stay human, even if it meant that you would die. After all, you couldn't fathom a single individual who would willingly choose to become a vampire. No. You must've been on the brink of death to choose yourself such a cruel fate.

The only semblance of excitement that would keep you going was hunting for vulnerable, weak victims to prey upon. Well, any human being to you was weak. Although you did have to give credit to the past men who had tried to kill you. They put up good fights, even if it ended up being a useless sacrifice every time. You had to applaud them for how they advanced over time as well, just to survive. Although, even nowadays, you had begun to get bored of hunting as well.

Being what you were meant a lot of sacrifices, including your sanity. You had been hanging on a thread for ages now, unable to stand the loneliness. Vampires are often villainized for being ruthless monsters, but only a vampire could tell you how lonely it is, to live away from society.

On a particularly fateful day, you had woken up, and felt your face, searching for irregularities. After all, you were never able to depend on seeing your own reflection. Your lips were cracked, a sign that you should be hunting. As you got up, you made your way up to the balcony, to admire the night sky. You looked at the forest below with empty eyes, as it remained unchanged, as always.

That was, until you saw a flash. Your eyes darted to the source, immediately landing on a man enveloped within the shadows of the night. Just from the sight, you could sense an air of desperation that surrounded him. He then proceeded to walk forward, looking upward to make eye contact with you.

If vampires could die, then the look of rage on his face would have been enough to kill you. He looked deranged, unput, and murderous. His eyes not leaving yours, he brandished something within his cloak, something silver and shiny. A rare smile tugged at your lips, looking back at him with a confident expression, as if to say "come catch me".

And that's how your game of cat and mouse began. He would come to your estate frequently, bringing something new, to try to seize that heart of yours and stab it. It's not as if you actually feared him, but you entertained him for a while, excited to see what the man would try next.

First, it was garlic, and it just went on and on. The last time, he attempted to set bear traps across the ground below. It seemed that he hoped that you would get caught in one, and unable to escape, would have to face the sun.

Every single attempt of his would amuse your deeply, a feeling of triumph washing over you everytime he went away, cursing to himself. However, not even once had he actually come face to face with you. It seemed that it gave you a sense of security, and you became more and more reckless over time, underestimating the determined hunter.

It was a day as any other, you woke up, and went to do your normal routine. However, the hunter was at the back of your mind, wondering why he hadn't appeared today. You frequently looked outside the window, the forest still as ever. As you got ready to hunt, your eyes surveyed the window one last time, but alas, no sight of him.

Maybe he finally gave up, you thought to yourself, a smirk plastered on your face as you walked near the nearby town, eyes darting, looking for potential victims.

However, as you looked around, a hand suddenly appeared from behind you, gripping your face with a cloth that seemed to be drenched with liquid. You got distracted. You were always so careful, so alert, and yet you allowed this to happen. As you stumbled backward, about to lose consciousness, you caught a glimpse of the masked figure above you, before falling.

When you had awoken, your entire body ached of pain and soreness. As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you found yourself back in your own estate. However, as you tried to get up, you realized that you were shackled to the wall, with silver cuffs and chains. Your eyes darted wide with panic, as you tried to break yourself free, not bothering to look in front of you.

"Looking for this?" a deep voice boomed, and your head shot up, to see the same masked person. Even if masked however, you would recognize those eyes anywhere.

"You!" you shouted, trying to break free. "Y-You tricked me" you shouted, feeling angry and betrayed as you glared at him. However, saying nothing, he walked closer to you, with what appeared to be an arrogant face of victory.

"H-How dare you?" you continued to shout, as he walked close enough to see your figure, accentuated from the moonlight, but not enough for you to be able to bite him.

"How dare I?" he murmured, taking off his mask, his eyes not leaving yours for one second. Your chest heaved up and down, looking at him with disgust.

"You can look at me like that all you want" he said slowly. "However, that won't change the fact that you're under my mercy now" he said, a smile forming on his lips.

You looked at him with a murderous gaze, as he continued. "Your kind tend to be so confident, so arrogant, that you lose focus" he said.

Suddenly, he pulled out what appeared to be a muzzle, and secured it around your mouth. Usually, you would've fought more, but whatever he sedated you with, made you unable to fight with your usual strength.

You screamed, cursing him out, to take off the muzzle, but he remained unmoved, looking at you with disdain. Tears flowed from your eyes as you weakly tried to pull away.

"You can't stand it can you, being so weak?" he asked in an amused tone, playing with a strand of your hair with a hand. "You're lucky, you know?".

With these words, you looked back up at him with surprise. "Don't look at me like that" he said with a laugh. "You have no idea what effect you have on me, dear".

As you looked at him with disgust, he continued. "I wanted to kill you, you know?" he said, looking outside the window. "I really did. But over time, I found myself looking forward to this game of ours" he lamented. "You have no idea, how much nights I would've looked up, just to see your beautiful face". he sighed.

You began thrashing desperately, realizing that he had no intention of putting you out of your misery. You began to beg him, an action that you would believe you could never do, out of pride. However, he shook his head again, and laughed.

"You torture me darling" he said, beginning to stride across the room in excitement. "You have to be punished after all" he said. "So I found a way that would simply benefit me" he finished, relishing your thunderstruck face.

"I'm going to give up the rest of my life, to be with you, as are you" he said sharply. "And I couldn't care less if you are on board with this. You'll come around eventually, I'm sure of it" he said with loving eyes, taking your hand ever so softly to plant a kiss, ignoring your pleas of desperation.

A long time ago, you had a family, but that luxury was taken away from you when you chose to become the monster that you currently are. However, now, you had a crazy man confessing his love to you as well as promises of a creating a new family with you.

If only you had extinguished the flame early on, instead of playing with it dangerously.

[astrolavas]

Ok ok, but now is turn for the grimwalker HCs!! Give us the creature👀

!!!!! BET

once a grimwalker is "formed" they simply turn mostly organic, just like how palismen are live animals instead of wood (when activated). so even though the ingredients are still THERE technically, they appear as just like... normal stuff, so grimwalkers are mostly biologically the species that their ortet was, almost indistinguishable (hair is hair, skin is skin, there's blood flow despite there not initially being a heart, the galdorstone is there but it functions very similarly to a heart, etc etc) and yet sometimes the original ingredients' features somehow still "show up" in unique-to-grimwalkers ways. ㅤ

i imagine grimwalkers used to be like a more popular/frequent occurence in ancient demon realm. the process of creating a grimwalker was like a sacred magic ritual, only allowed in special cases (like maybe if a witch lost a child early and wasn't able to have another one, sth of the sort) so it was still very rare even back then and would have to be approved of by most of the community. however, then the tradition died off as ingredients started becoming more scarce, and most of knowledge about it was eventually lost to time. nowadays, grimwalkers are considered to be an extinct species as well as an urban legend/myth by boiling isles habitants, like a "supposedly extinct but there's no certainty if they ever even actually existed" situation (without taking hunter and his possibly-openly-a-grimwalker-in-the-future thing into account just yet). the books we saw hunter read in labyrinth runners have some right information but also lots of misinformation in them, since they're far removed from the direct source, based on only tidbits of actual info, and have been written by witches/demons, with no grimwalkers consulted (obviously); lots of it is speculation, and lots of it is wrong. (i imagine the only actual, entirely truthful info is in those scrolls and books we saw in belos' grimwalker lab, but even that isn't fully complete; and belos wouldn't have wanted to share it with the public anyway, for obvious reasons) additionally, i feel like grimwalkers have a sort of cryptid-like reputation in the boiling isles' pop culture. there are stories made up about them. there are teens making pink-eyed grimwalker ocs on the demon realm equivalent of deviantart and making up things like "grimwalkers can shoot lasers out of their eyes" or "they can raise the dead with their thoughts" LMAO. hunter gets a headache when he discovers all that. ㅤ

grimwalkers are semi-immune to boiling water. the selkidomus scales give them a lot of immunity so boiling water is not actually lethal to them but still, being exposed to boiling rain for a long while or full-on diving into the boiling sea may hurt a bit and prolonged contact with boiling water may leave them with blisters/burns. ㅤ

when grimwalkers' skin is wet for a long time, it gets somewhat scaley ??? scales-resembling texture ?? instead of just being pruney/wrinkled. when dry, their fingertips have a sort of wood-rings-y look. ㅤ

grimwalkers' hair naturally grows incredibly fast, but especially when they spend lots of time in the sun. plant magic may also affect its growth positively. ㅤ

grimwalkers' eyes are reflective and can glow/shine in the dark. ㅤ

when it comes to human-based grimwalkers (the golden guards), sometimes their ears would turn out rounder and human-looking, sometimes they'd look pointier but still not fully witch-like. belos preferred them to be round cuz obviously he preferred "caleb" to be human-looking, but with time he started modifying some grimwalkers' naturally round ears to be pointier just so that they could blend in easier and so they'd believe that they're witches too. he'd "mold" their ears during early creation or sometimes modify/cut them after, like he did his. (hunter's ears are naturally pointy and generally look like a witch's ears but, upon closer inspection, the details of his ears differ from a normal witch's ears juuuust slightly) (ears of the grimwalker that we saw in ftf were fully round because belos was counting on this one to be the golden guard post-day of unity, seemingly brought up as human and in the human realm) ㅤ

just like stonesleepers, grimwalkers often have a slightly sensitive spot behind their ears. ㅤㅤㅤ

palismen can somewhat sense that grimwalkers are also made of palistrom wood so they naturally cling to them more (big win for mr palisman enthusiast/carver hunter owlhouse!) ㅤㅤ

again, when it comes to specifically caleb-based/the golden guard grimwalkers, i can imagine that belos' first attempts were....... FAR from perfect. since i imagine he got all the information from different incomplete ancient scrolls, there were many things he had to come up with and re-discover himself. the very first grimwalkers he made probably didn't even survive for longer than a few minutes/hours. and when they did survive, i feel like the ingredients used were much more distinguishable at first too, not fully transformed into their organic counterparts; like for example some grimwalkers had more selkidomus-like or stonesleeper-like features, or were visibly wooden in some places, etc etc. i feel like belos didn't succeed in making a fully functional, stable and human/witch-looking grimwalker until he met the collector, and then did so thanks to their help. ㅤ

grimwalkers are already "harvestable" at early infancy and that's when you're "supposed" to unbury them, but they can technically emerge at any age (they just have to stay underground and age for the amount of time). i feel like there were also times when belos tried to speed up the process and age his grimwalkers up faster so that they'd be of use to him quicker, but that would also often result in the grimwalkers being unstable; so not really a good idea. (i envision that hunter was probably one of the youngest- if not the youngest- grimwalker belos had ever made, and that's also why he had high hopes for him lasting longer than the others; because he manipulated him since early childhood, starting in his most pivotal developmental years) ㅤ

i like to believe that the reason why flapjack was able to save hunter in thanks to them was because hunter's a grimwalker. if hunter had been a normal witch or a human, i don't think flapjack could do anything to help. (something abt the thing that hunter was ashamed of and hated abt himself ending up being the exact thing that makes saving him possible... you know?) ㅤ

for specifically caleb-based grimwalkers, i imagine that since they're mostly human in biology, they might also have issues with eating some particular demon realm food. not as much as luz of course, since they're not completely human + after years of living in the demon realm and basically eating ONLY demon realm food i can imagine your stomach would get mostly used to it, acclimated and all, but it probably still could result in some problems and discomfort. ㅤ

because of their stonesleeper lungs, grimwalkers are usually pretty still and motionless sleepers. they breathe very slowly when sleeping. ㅤ

you can't make a grimwalker out of a grimwalker. you can try, but the magic simply won't work correctly.

[yandere-fics]

♡ Dark AU Sawyer ♡

Sawyer, that was your mates name though you weren't sure how you had came to know that considering you had only met her once when you had been younger. You'd just received your first and to this day only soulmate dream, something that grated your parents immensely, they loved you but they couldn't allow you to drag a supernatural into their town, the possibility of a supernatural coming was too dangerous to allow, at least that had been what they said but it didn't feel like they had cared about you even an ounce as their hands wrapped around your neck and squeezed tightly. As your eyes rolled back into your head, preparing to accept your fate, she had swept through town, the sounds of bones crunching and screams of agony heard everywhere in your small community, then nothing and when you'd opened your eyes she had looked down on you with a smile, her face scaly and fangs huge, the hint of a long reptilian tail behind her, before vanishing. She'd left just as quickly as she had appeared, you almost believe meeting her had just been part of your dream and yet you had known it wasn't when you looked around and saw the corpses around you, your parents mangled bodies and the towns peoples dazed eyes, like they weren't people anymore, just walking husks.

You didn't have dreams anymore, there was no need considering you had already met your soulmate, she knew where you were, you would however occasionally hear her voice, you weren't sure if it was actually her talking to you directly or if you had just gone mad like the other townsfolk had. Her voice echoed in your head any time you did anything she didn't approve of and nowadays that seemed to be a lot of things, just being near the forest boundary made her displeased, the villagers around you dropping to their knees in agony for failing to keep you away from this area, crying out about how their ears were ringing until you walked away from the boundary and they collapsed to the ground, relieved at it finally being over. You were never punished directly, she liked to punish the people around you, isolating you further from the town because they knew if they were in pain, it had been your fault for not listening to the voice and though they were too under her control to ever harm you or be mean to you, they didn't like you one bit, it was your fault they were like this, if only you had died that day. You could see their feelings on their faces sometimes before their eyes reverted back to their usual blurry color with happy smile on their faces.

"Dearest, I sincerely hope you are not heading where I think you are heading." You rolled your eyes and huffed, she always assumed you were going to the forest despite you never stepping foot in their once in your entire life, you couldn't really understand why she despised the thought of you going towards the forest so much, monsters didn't even come within miles of your village anymore, not since she had set up camp somewhere near the forest, a big dragon within the vicinity being too off putting for them to dare approach you. Dragon had been what you'd called her though you weren't sure if that was entirely true, she seemed somewhat too monstrous to be fully dragon, neither monster nor dragon entirely, a mix of both and what you referred to her as really reflected more on your mood that anything else, anytime you were mad at her, it was monster, but when you were scared and wanted to reassure yourself, you preferred dragon.

Today however you actually were in fact heading into the forest, you couldn't deal with the villagers surrounding you all the time, completely obnoxious and terrified you were going to get them hurt despite all the pain they had inflicted on those with soulmates in the past and Sawyer had never done anything against you in the past so you were sure you would be okay, it's not like the villagers would be able to stop you, they were to afraid that touching you would cause them to drop dead, they could tolerate ringing in their ears for a few hours, you were sure of it and so you set off into the woods, ignoring her voice as she demanded you head back right that moment. Despite your hoping everything would be okay though, the moment you actually walked into the woods you'd been tackled to the ground by a raving villager, their hands around your throat, tears streaming down their eyes and blood dripping from their ears, most likely due to the ringing. You tried to push them off but they seemed bent on killing you, perhaps thy figured if you were in the forest then she wouldn't be able to see them as well and thus they'd get away with it, they were wrong because in a single second they were flicked off of you, your mate snapping their neck and glaring down at you.

"Dearest, I do believe I told you to stay out of the forest. Whatever am I supposed to do with you when you won't listen to what's good for you?" She crouched down in front of you as you gasped for air. Definitely monster you realized as you saw all her teeth were fangs, her mouth stretching wider than it should have, her giant tail coiling around your legs, keeping you from scrambling away as she lectured you. "I had wanted to wait to take you until you'd warmed up to me, and had stopped calling me... a monster... but it seems you leave me no choice dearest. From now one, I'll have to have you glued to my side to keep incidents like this from occurring."

[heartedbysunoo]

INTERVIEW

HEESEUNG: “I feel like I’m at a place where I can excel at anything”

ENHYPEN ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream- comeback interview

2024.11.23

In his first “-note,” dated July 7, 2020—back when he was still a trainee—HEESEUNG took a look back at each of his lessons for the day, showing a serious thirst for improvement. Fast-forward to today, where the idol, having now achieved his long-held dream of becoming an artist, says he’s “at a place where” he “can do excel at anything”—a major transformation that includes going from a trainee anxious to debut to an artist performing with utmost confidence under stadium lights.

You’re celebrating the fourth anniversary of your debut. Have you ever rewatched those old “-note” videos you made, by any chance?

HEESEUNG: Ah… I get so embarrassed now that I can’t watch them all the way through. (laughs)

I remember in the “-note” you filmed the day ENHYPEN was formed, you talked about how you felt when you found out you would be debuting with your group. You said you “kind of felt sad inside, but I was emotionally really happy.”

HEESEUNG: That’s true. Why did I feel sad about it? Wow—I have no idea. (laughs) I guess I was anxious at the time and felt like it was really happening? I’d been keeping myself strictly disciplined for four years, and now that I was finally debuting, all those bottled-up emotions burst out of me. That’s probably why I said that.

I rewatched your first “-note,” and in it, you talked about where you had room for improvement while reflecting on the practice you did that day.

HEESEUNG: I was kind of anxious when we were filming I-LAND. Honestly, after years of almost nonstop prep for the debut, I was having a bit of a tough time. Even after the show ended and we debuted, I felt so impatient. I felt impatient about everything. Debuting wasn’t the end of it. My goal when I wanted to debut was just to become part of a group, but then, of course, once I accomplished that, something else had to come next. I looked around thinking, “What do I do now?” There were already so many people who are good at music and at performing. The first time I went to an awards ceremony and realized “these people are my competition,” it was scary and inevitably made me even more anxious and impatient. But now I feel like my own comfort is the most important thing. What hurts my pride is if I get nervous onstage. It feels like I’m bringing myself down if I get nervous.

In a “-note” from August, you said, “But to ENGENE who have seen me since I was 20, it must be very interesting… I feel like I’ve changed a lot from who I was then… I definitely feel happier as the years go by.” Is the fact that you don’t feel nervous anymore a part of that change?

HEESEUNG: I think it’s because it’s been about four years now. I try not to be impatient or feel nervous, and try to be relaxed at all times. I don’t even need to go out of my way to think about shaking out my nerves. I try not to even think about it—I just get on with it. I think clearing your mind and holding onto a bit of tension while you’re onstage is the best way to go. The same goes for everyday life. Here’s to easy, worry-free living. And to being open and just being comfortable doing things your way.

You seem much more comfortable expressing your emotions now.

HEESEUNG: I think I’ve become a little more human since back then. Nowadays, I just talk about however I’m feeling, which I find kind of funny. I actually feel like I need to tone it down a bit now. (laughs) But life’s taught me that there’s more upsides to expressing your emotions than downsides. When you’re open about your feelings, communication is a breeze. If I’m not clear about things, I end up regretting it later. I speak up even if it feels a little unpleasant at the moment, or try a different approach. It can be a hassle but it’s always better that way. So at this point, I feel like I’m at a place where I can excel at anything.

During the LIVE celebrating the fourth anniversary of the group, you reminisced about the I-LAND era with the others. I thought the words, “Don’t worry, guys, I’ll start, and make sure it works no matter what,” really cut to the pressure you felt throughout the show. Do you feel more relaxed within the group now?

HEESEUNG: I actually said that out of fear. I was a little scared at the time, and I wanted to do well. Now I don’t feel that in the slightest. When we go onstage, it’s like, “Oh, dopamine. This’ll be fun.” I’m the oldest of our Gen Z crew, after all. (laughs) We’ve got pretty good teamwork. We’re having some fun as we go. (laughs) Everyone does their own thing too, but we share the same goal, so it’s like we kind of come together? It’s really unique and fun like that. That’s when I realized I used to have a very rigid idea of what a team is before.

Your closing remarks at the WALK THE LINE concert in Goyang left a big impression: “Honestly, we’re human too, so we have our own share of tough times. But since each and every one of us is so kind and warmhearted, we don’t let it show, and work hard, and help each other out, and things that seemed impossible before became possible.” It seems like you tweaked your teamwork while getting ready for the tour.

HEESEUNG: Whew, that was 100% genuine. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone as pure and kindhearted as the members of our group. I’m 23 now, and you meet more and more people out in the world. But truly, the other members are so pure and such incredibly kindhearted people. I’m so grateful how they’re understanding even when I make occasional mistakes.

On the other hand, performing the fan dedication song “Highway 1009,” which you produced yourself, during the WALK THE LINE tour must have been a special experience for you.

HEESEUNG: Oh… I got emotional but tried really hard to hold back my tears. It absolutely filled my heart to the brim. Writing a single song is always an incredibly long process. From sitting alone in the studio and thinking, “Ah, what’ll I do…” and then having that, “Aha, here we go, okay!” feeling, to writing lines, recording vocals, getting approval, and directing, then hearing that melody booming out at a huge concert venue—it was so surreal. It made all the hard work feel so rewarding.

Between doing the FATE PLUS tour and starting the WALK THE LINE tour, in what ways do you feel you’ve grown from performing so much?

HEESEUNG: First there was all this anticipation for the new tour. During the stadium tour, I felt the importance of performing live yet again. I have a really good ear for when I wobble even slightly in pitch during live shows, so I worked through that with a lot of practice.

In the “-note” where you revealed the demo of “Highway 1009,” you said, “I think I was more afraid about working on music than I realized.” I was surprised to hear you say that. You sound very attentive when it comes to songwriting.

HEESEUNG: It’s comparable to cooking, where you get a little nervous when someone tries something you made. “How is it? Is it bad? Too salty? Too sweet?” Kind of like that. But if they tell you something tastes off, then of course I have to fix it—because, whether objectively or subjectively speaking, something’s not right. That was a decent analogy, wasn’t it? (laughs)

You talked about making your own songs in a previous Weverse Magazine interview, and you called yourself “super stubborn.” You seem very open to feedback, though.

HEESEUNG: I mean, it’s not a big deal to change something. (laughs) I have my stubborn moments, but when I’m writing a song, I tend to be super receptive to feedback.

I understand you also prepared meticulously for the making of ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream-.

HEESEUNG: For the single “No Doubt,” the group talked about which musical eras it evokes and how it sounds like older R&B. We also checked out a lot of different music and videos of live performances. We’ve been having lots of meetings on the direction our music should ultimately take as well—whether that means taking a somewhat different approach in terms of genre, wanting to have more hip hop vibes, or something else—but regardless, we have to engage in friendly competition with each other. I think you have to spur each other on when you’re making music.

How was it practicing for “No Doubt” after all that discussion? You’re the one who starts the song off, right?

HEESEUNG: I liked it. (laughs) When I first heard the song, it felt like something I knew I could already do, but something that would be fairly new for the group. The choreography’s way more intense than it looks, too—so much so that it beefed up my legs, even though I don’t work out much. So now I have some muscle in my legs. (laughs) The part in the chorus where we dance with our hands in our back pockets is the highlight of the choreo, and I love that part. It felt like the highlight to me, even when we were shooting the music video.

ROMANCE: UNTOLD, and ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream- after it, revolve around a highly jealous, very lonely vampire boyfriend. Is it similar to your own definition of love?

HEESEUNG: I don’t think of jealousy as love. (laughs) Love is… I don’t know. But I don’t think jealousy is it. That’s just something that arises from feeling insecure.

You said you don’t know much about romance, yet ENHYPEN sings about romantic vampires.

HEESEUNG: Good point. I guess the somewhat idealistic parts of our song lyrics have become a good example for me to follow. (laughs)

Did HEE-roducer make another appearance when you were directing and giving ideas to the other members during the recording sessions for ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream-?

HEESEUNG: It never quite reached HEE-roducer levels (laughs) but I did give some feedback on little things here and there during dance rehearsal this time around. Oh—but it’s not like I’m a dance drill sergeant or anything. That would be JUNGWON. (laughs)

You talked in that previous interview about the other ENHYPEN members’ strengths from the perspective of HEE-roducer. What do you consider to be your own strengths?

HEESEUNG: For me… I think my strength is doing things without anyone having to tell me to—trying out creative, new things on my own. And if I’m being honest, I think I’m pretty well-rounded. (laughs)

Is that how you got started with producing—by trying new things?

HEESEUNG: It was to understand myself better. I felt like I wanted to get to know myself. There’s still things about me that I thought I knew but actually don’t, and I think I can uncover those things through music. I want to release my own mixtape and perform it onstage. Oh, and actually, I recently did something I’ve been wanting to do! It was just a cover, but it was part of my dream to perform onstage solo. I covered “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd at Music Bank in Madrid.

You always struck me as someone who only puts something out into the world when you feel it’s completely ready, but interestingly, during a Weverse LIVE, you said that the performance “was more fun because I didn't really practice before going.”

HEESEUNG: It was almost like a freestyle performance, but it was fun—really fun. Hearing 30,000 people there all cheering just for me was… fun. (laughs)

So you weren’t nervous then, either?

HEESEUNG: For that show? Of course I was nervous. (laughs) But it’s one thing to not want that feeling and another thing to just not feel it. (laughs) I was warming up my voice and practicing my moves until 10 seconds before I went on, but as soon as I got up there, I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be crazy fun,” and all that nervousness turned into excitement.

What motivates you to work like that?

HEESEUNG: How I felt about my dream when I was younger, I guess?

How does it feel now that you’re living your childhood dream?

HEESEUNG: It feels unreal. I didn’t expect to reach this point in my life so soon. It was just four or five years ago that I was worried and skeptical, like, “Can I really do this?” But now I can hardly remember those days of self-doubt because I’m living the dream.

So what would you like to accomplish together with ENHYPEN?

HEESEUNG: My dream with ENHYPEN is to be even better. It’s not about the numbers—it’s about being able to express more through our performances and through our music, and receiving recognition for it. There are certain things in this industry that are set in stone, and I want to break through that. I said at the WALK THE LINE concert in Goyang that I felt like I needed to become a grown-up. Basically, with that, I was signaling that I could show a different side of myself than I used to. I buried my feelings deep down when I was a trainee, and in the same way, I had a bottled up thirst in a musical sense, too. So perhaps it was me hinting that I’m going to change a bit now? Come to think of it, it sounds a bit cringey for someone who isn’t [a hero like] Jeon Woo-chi. (laughs)

[crisiscutie]

Do you think Vincent is Sephiroth's Dad? I personally don't think so. Lucrecia and Aerith share traits but they're not related. I think they just used Sephiroth's model to make life easier. 😂

Nope! I actually feel the same anon. Following is just my opinion by the way.

I believe that Vincent being Sephiroth's father takes away from Sephiroth's tragedy. I think a big part of the point is that he was dealt a shitty hand. And what made that hand shitter is that his parents, not just one, but BOTH of them, opened a path to the abuse and trauma he will suffer for the rest of the life. And Sephiroth's father, the man that is supposed to love him, protect him and guide him... He deliberately went a step further than Lucrecia by conducting even more experiments and more abuse consistently until Sephiroth reached his breaking point. It would bother me to see this important piece of Sephiroth's backstory be changed in favor of a more romanticized tragedy, even though the original story already does this well enough. It honestly gives me the same vibes of folks trying to force a redemption arc on Sephiroth to make him "work". Sephiroth and his backstory are immaculate as it is.

And to give you a deeper look into my bias: This aspect of Sephiroth along with others makes him relatable to me and maybe even to other survivors of childhood abuse. My own father also treated me so horribly and used me for his own gain. And honestly, I don't really consider him my father beyond just being biologically related nowadays.

Now, all that aside: It would be pretty interesting to dive into Vincent's feelings about Sephiroth and the man he's become. I would fucking love to see him reflect on it; On what he could've done. The "dream" he would've liked to have rather than the cold, hard reality he's presented with now.

And you know, I think the theme of wishing vs reality comes up a lot in the FF7 franchise. There's a lot of examples like Zack and Cloud wishing to be a hero. Lucrecia wishing to take back what she's done... But reality hit them all in the face. It doesn't turn out how they wanted. They get the hand they have been dealt and can only try to make the best of it by shuffling it around...

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Predicting my 2023 solar return chart because I couldn’t sleep😴

2023 solar return chart is looking too much scary and crazy for me. My birthday is in June and it’s 2 months ahead but I think the effects have already started to show up in some areas of my life at this moment.

•Scorpio rising at 18 degrees (Virgo deg)

-I think this year, I would be mainly focused on transformations for myself, emotionally and physically.

-I went through a very intense and messy breakup and I found myself reflecting these circumstances a lot lately.

-I’ve been watching videos about self-concept, psychology and manifestation on youtube because I actually want to transform myself and I have a feeling I would succeed.

-I want to transform myself into someone who’s powerful with a lil bit of mysterious aura.🤭

-I started to take interest in occult and metaphysical topics and witchy stuff.

-I bought my first tarot deck about two weeks ago just because my gut told me to do it.

-I started to rely a lot on my intuition and most of them are on point.

-I had some prophetic dreams which came true in real life. (thanks to my natal Neptune and Uranus in 8th house too) IT’S KINDA CRAZY. THAT DREAM HAPPENED EXACTLY IN MY REALITY.🤯

-I notice that I also tend to become more private on social media and I back away from people, even from my best friend who I used to talk with everyday because I feel so drained for literally no reason. (but maybe this solar eclipse and mercury retrograde are the hidden answer😏)

-I’ve been getting lots of compliments too. One of my guy friends told me that I look like a maneater in these days. (I just had leo rising in 2022 SR chart and my attention-seeking ass is enjoying this too much hehe🙊)

-The MAIN reason why I’m scared of scorpio rising in SR chart is because I was bullied at school, got slapped by my mom, sexually harassed and these all happened for the very first time in my life and also my biggest secret got exposed (which was kinda like receiving karma for what I had done) in the year I had scorpio rising.😃

-The rising degree was at 29 degrees and I was slut-shamed publicly. (❗️Tip: if you have 29 degrees on planets or points in your solar return chart, that might indicate the end of a chapter and a new beginning, for better or worse depends on what you have done and the planet shows in which area you’ll encounter these endings).

-All students knew my name but in a notorious way like “oh that girl? Ummm🙄 *shrugs*”. -These events brought major changes into my life. It changed my whole personality.

-I was scared and in the dark for the whole year. But to face my foes, I had to put on that “I’m fucking strong bitches don’t you dare touch me” mask the whole year. No one was on my side. But these events helped me become a girl who I am right now. I used to be a fun, outgoing, optimistic, free, flirty and giggling little girl but right now, I’m not that kind of girl anymore. I’ve become a brave and strong girl who had gone through a lot but still didn’t give up. However, I have never shown my vulnerable side to anyone up to this day since that year. That year is the year that I’ll NEVER forget. And that’s why I’m feeling a bit nervous to go through another year with scorpio rising.😰

-I might receive karma for what I had done. Good or bad.

-I might also attract a lot of unwanted attention from others since I also have Venus conjunct mars and Lilith conjunct MC this year. Main theme is transformation and shocking things might also happen. My secrets could be leaked maybe. Just don’t wanna assume things before anything happens.🥱

•Sun in Gemini in 8th house at 24 degrees (Pisces deg)

-This year is literally screaming “TIME TO TRANSFORM YOU BITCH” at my face lol😂. -My main focus is gonna be healing ofc and transformation I guess.

-I might have to face my shadow side and I think the universe will push me to deal with it to achieve my higher self.

-I also kinda observe things deeply a lot nowadays and it could go on for the whole year.

-I feel like I might go through my ego death or as I said, an old chapter could end and new beginnings would come.

-I’m a bit worried about me and my family’s health. I’ve been feeling ill for quite some time now due to low blood pressure. I’m also worried about my parents especially my dad because idk I just feel something weird but let’s not think about it because I don’t wanna manifest anything bad to him.🥺

-I’m not going to predict further about this because I’ve said enough above as this is quite similar to scorpio rising. My main focus is 8th house and scorpio themed.🖤

•Sun conjunct Juno

-People say this is like “meeting your soulmate” aspect of the year. I hope I would meet someone too whether it’s platonic or romantic because it’s fun to interact with new people.😺

•Sun square Neptune

-My creation skills could be kinda blocked. It’s happening even right now. In the past, when I started to write about something, the words just naturally flew out of my head but right now, I’m a bit stuck and delayed. My thoughts are delayed. I even forget how to structure sentences creatively.

•Moon in Taurus in 7th house at 21 degrees (Sag deg)

-My emotions could be mainly invested in relationships and partnerships.

-I could be thinking a lot about how to get better in relationships and any-ships.

-I just hope I won’t be lost in love again but I’m pretty sure I definitely won’t too.🤡

-Btw, I love having moon at sagittarius degree because it might mean I would feel optimistic and free like a little girl version of me before 2019!

•Moon conjunct Uranus

-Mood swings. URGH. I don’t even need to predict this because they’re already happening. I have daily mood swings but I notice that since about the start of April, I’ve become so much unstable and inconsistent in my emotions. One minute I’m on instagram and another minute, I’m on google. Another minute I’m on tumblr and I just keep jumping from one tab to another A LOT.

-I also feel quite chaotic and confused about some of my relationships. I love my best friend one minute and another minute, I kinda reconsider if she’s really good for me or not. And I just feel exhausted just by existing.😮‍💨

•Mercury in Gemini in 7th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Idk how to interpret this. Please HELP kindly if you can. Thank you! Maybe share your experiences?❤️

•Venus in Leo in 9th house at 8 degrees (Scorpio deg)

-I love having Venus in 9th house when it comes to SR charts. I had this placement in 2022 and man, I had 3 trips in one year and all of those were amazing times for me. It’s pleasant and I felt so excited by those adventures.

-Needless to say, I also met my ex in college (actually the first time we ever met was in 2019, at a language school but we met again in college🙄) and somehow most of my relationships were based in college and they’re going to go more for another 7 years so you can say they’re quite significant.

-So, I think I might also get a boyfriend or boyfriendS from college this year. Or else it could be through traveling, education and religious places.

-I might find aesthetics in learning about spirituality and might be focused and might have fixated opinions on my belief system related to religion (as it is in leo).

-I started to become more religious in these days and I also started to stand firm in what I believe instead of being a people-pleaser and saying “oh I also believe that” to every opinion existing.👏🏻

•Venus conjunct mars

-Yayyy people say this is the year I’m getting most attention from both genders. I mean I don’t like attention that much because it’s draining but who doesn’t love being put in a spotlight if it’s for good? (at this point my natal sun in 12th house being indecisive if he likes attention or not)🤦🏻‍♀️

-I love receiving love from people so this is a great placement for me.

-And also, my sexual energy can be highly increased this year.😶

-I might have several options for romantic partners and might come out more charming and alluring than usual.

•Venus opposite Pluto

-Kinda scared again because my SR chart ruler is in hard aspect with SR Venus which is in 9th house.

-I hope communication between peers would go well and relationships won’t be destroyed because of misunderstandings in communication.

-Idk why but I have this gut feeling that I’m going to attract someone or be attracted to someone who’s manipulative, toxic and jealous. Or I might be the one who would be obsessed with someone having all of those plutonic qualities. My relationships could be pluto-themed and transformative I guess.

-Some people say that this is also an indicator of glow-up in SR chart and I find this pretty accurate because I’m going to the gym for the first time in July!🤩

•Venus conjunct vertex

-Fated love? Fated relationships? Can be through 9th house related places and the other person may have leo or taurus qualities. Or the meeting could be leo-themed I guess?

•Mars in Leo in 9th house at 14 degrees (Taurus deg)

-This can mean I would put a lot of effort into college and it can be true because I have my final exams in June and I have to sweat my ass off for that.😵

-I might be rethinking about my belief system and replanning about my education too.

-As I have my natal mars in natal 9th house, I kinda like this placement because it’s friendly to me.

-I might seek for freedom and would cancel anyone who’s blocking me from becoming confident and free.

-I might go under a sexual encounter which may be brief but transformative. Or maybe one-night stand LMAO (jk I don’t like one-night stands personally).

-I’m a virgin so I’m even a bit curious if I’m going to lose my virginity this year because I have a very strong gut feeling about having first sex with someone who’s important for me.😭👀

•Mars conjunct vertex

-Fated sexual encounter maybe. Maybe fated accidents? Lol I’m sorry I don’t wanna manifest accidents for myself haha😂 But personal planets in conjunction with vertex can also mean fated people might be brought to our life to teach us something, both karmic and non-karmic ones, eg like a teacher or a mentor.

•Mars conjunct Lilith

-I have a very strong gut feeling that I’m gonna gain lots of sexual attention or might attract aggressive partners who want to tame me (sorry guys but my Lilith in 1st house won’t let it happen🤗).

-I might become comfortable and have courage enough to express my sexuality.

-May have power struggles with authority figures.

-I notice that I’ve been feeling like “who are you to judge me bastards” towards controlling authority figures.🌝

•Mars conjunct MC

-I might work hard to reach my goals.

-I might also appear assertive, daring and competitive in public.

-This is also special because my natal MC ruler is mars and it is now highlighted in my SR chart.

-I’m going to the gym for the first time in July too so maybe people would see me athletic and confident this year.

•Jupiter in Taurus in 6th house at 6 degrees (Virgo deg)

-Jupiter is about expansion and luck so, I might gain luck and blessings through my health, my routines, my colleagues (but for me, friends).

-I just wish I won’t gain weight because Jupiter sometimes indicates weight gains and 6th house is health and physical house thank god I’m going to the gym.

-My health could become better BUT since both Venus and mars square Jupiter, love and sex might deteriorate my health in some way - idk how to interpret this.🧘🏻‍♀️

•Pluto in Capricorn in 3rd house at 29 degrees (Leo deg)

-Transformations could arise around siblings, neighborhood, education, short trips, knowledge and communication.

-I also have my natal chart ruler in my natal 3rd house so this energy is quite familiar for me but let’s see how Pluto energy would go this year. (i had Pluto in 6th house last year and I had eating disorder LMAO🤧)

•North node in Taurus in 6th house at 3 degrees (Gemini deg)

-My purpose might be to take care of myself- my health mainly as I said that my health is not so good in these days.

-Also it could be showing that I need to reconstruct my daily routines and abandon every bad habit that is no longer serving me. Maybe I might need to balance my studies and my relaxation time.

•Uranus-moon conjunction conjuncts descendant

-There could be unexpected and sudden changes, events occurring in my relationships. -I feel like I might go into a romantic relationship but that won’t be committed or at least, it would be weird and unusual. Not traditional and maybe shocking too. I might be the one who’s not willing to commit because right now, I have zero desire to start another relationship. Tbh, my ex is still in a part of me and I need to cut him off first. I might attract unconventional people too.

•Lilith conjunct MC

-I started to feel a bit outcasted since my breakup and it became worse. My ex has a new girlfriend now but she and her friends are gossiping about me. I heard it through one of my mutual friends and it’s so Lilith-themed in my opinion. They wanna slut-shame me for no reason. I don’t know why but when other girls kiss their boyfriends, they seem pretty normal. When I kiss my boyfriend, I suddenly become like a slut. I also kinda have to put on “Wtf you bitches, seriously!? Sorry but I’m unbothered” mask in college just to defend myself. As a result, I could be seen as someone who’s unapologetic, daring and untamed. Or maybe I might represent Lilith traits unconsciously in this year.🔫

•Part of fortune in libra 11th house at 15 degrees (Gemini deg)

-I might gain luck through friendships, connections with people, humanitarian work, beauty, social media.

•SR ascendant falls into natal 4th house (3 degrees away from 5th house cusp)

-Mainly focused areas - family, past lessons, roots and childhood. Could also be - romance, fun, flings, dates, creativity, children.

•Fixed dominant

-My mind can be fixated and I might stick to one decision only.

•Earth dominant

-I might be a bit stable but Idk how I feel about this one because I also have moon-Uranus conjunction haha

•Taurus stellium

-Love and beauty could be mainly focused? But I love having taurus stellium because I love taurus energy. They look so calm. In my opinion. At least.🌸

•7th house stellium

-Might be “Love is in the air” year for me but I’m closing my nose till my prince charming comes and commits to me fully and gives me princess treatment. Plus, I don’t wanna kiss froggos anymore. Yuck.💀

Anyways, this was a long ass post and I’m so freaking excited for the upcoming year. Afraid, nervous but at the same time, so curious about what might happen because placements in this year’s chart are a bit crazy and intense in my opinion. Also please bear with my grammar mistakes as I’m an ESL student. You can also share your experiences with me if you have had any of these placements in your previous years’ solar return charts. Thank you!❤️