#now to. message my partner
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cue me writing lore and information about this story in case anyone ever asks bc i was having SO MANY THOUGHTS about this AU at work but there is simply no way to include all of this information in the fic itself
#when i post my rbb PLEASE ask me questions about things i have Thoughts#and background info that doesn't get explained or explored but trust me i have 8hrs of time to myself at work#that i can just spend the whole shift rotating these idiots in my head#*staring longingly at the 400 words i just wrote of stuff that isn't mentioned in the story*#anyway I THINK IM DONE!!!!#I NEED TO READ AND EDIT IT BUT!!!!!!!!!!#WOOHOO#now to. message my partner#gonna go take some anxiety meds#which will help with sleep too :)#shh ac#wip: aftgrbb#i need a NAME. FUCK.
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don’t let this flop pls
#bi girl#bd/sm bunny#bd/sm switch#bd/sm community#bd/sm daddy#dm me#daddy k!nk#cnc daddy#send me messages#send me asks#send me dms#bd/sm mommy#queer nsft#bd/sm brat#flirt with me#wlw nsft#bi nsft#girls with piercings#i’m bored#send me questions#send me anons#curvy and cute#bd/sm dom#message me#partner applications now open#size k!nk#if you’re older than me n you own a motorcycle hit my line asap<3#i’m in pain
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I would be really interested to know if N.D. Stevenson planned for Nimona to have been Gloreth's monster from the beginning (i.e. the comic) because like
Until recently my headcanon for C! Nim's powers were that she was a normal little girl who became possessed during a traumatic childhood experience, and that possessing entity gave her immortality and powers but it made her potentially dangerous to herself and others (like an allegory for some mental illness) and that at some point in the past, that same entity possessed Gloreth because to me, that's what the narrative seemed to imply
However, I recently read an interview where Stevenson states that C!Nimona was not possessed. I also saw an ask he'd answered on Tumblr where someone had asked if Nimona was a descendant of Gloreth or if Gloreth's monster had anything to do with her (this was pre-movie) and he just answered "She is not a descendant of Gloreth" Without elaborating further. This kinda (to me?) implies that maybe she was always meant to have existed for a crazy long time (1000+ years) and that like the movie, she was the monster Gloreth fought.
But this seemed to me not to be the case, because the flashback of her REAL backstory doesn't appear to take place that long ago (although because the characters wear fantasy/medieval-inspired clothes, it could have been?) it mostly just looks like it happened somewhere far out of the city/kingdom, but I don't really know
There are still differences, C! Nimona canonically has human parents and M! Nimona canonically does not, C! Nimona's powers are implied to be somewhat dark (every time she shapeshifts her entire body is destroyed and regenerated) and M! Nimona's are portrayed as overall a positive thing (I think C!'s powers represent mental illness and M!'s represent queerness, which, very different message)
I know (since he's said it multiple times) that the origin of Nimona's powers are left vague on purpose, because a part of the story's narrative (both comic and movie) is that, it doesn't really matter how it started or what caused it. She's not a monster, and the "monster" is an integral part of who she is. She's not a changeling, or possessed, or a monster, or a human, or a mythical creature of some designation, she's just Nimona.
But since in the comic we do get loredropped tidbits about how her powers work and her backstory, it really makes me lose my freaking mind when I have to try to expand upon that even slightly in fanfic, especially when Word of God seems to contradict the source material, or at least my understanding of it lmao
#thinkin bout a post I made while high like almost a year ago about an AU idea where C!Nimona's “Monster” was expelled#and she could be a normal kid (it was me a person with anger issues fantasizing about not having anger issues and being accepted heyyy)#and while I still think the people on that post who accused me of SUPPORTING CONVERSION THERAPY were WAY out of pocket#(I literally woke up to those messages in bed with my trans partner like “uhhhh babe it seems I support trans converion therapy sorry”)#I don't really like that post anymore just bc now I know its canon or at least word of god that she wasn't possesed lmao#and upon further exploration of the narrative I think it contradicts the message of learning to accept mental illness as a part of yourself#something I still struggle with#but anyway#nimona#nimona graphic novel
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uneven
#adventure time#fionna and cake#simon petrikov#betty grof#golbetty#petrigrof#mine#fanart#first a step below him#then same level#but never got on the same level in reality#and now shes merged with a god#a few steps above u id say#wish this message of getting lost in love or a partner came in my life sooner ngl
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So I decided to spin the wheel by @onefey since I saw so many mutuals getting really cute PMD Teams.
Meet hero Lucky (Girafarig) and partner Biggs (Wimpod). Never in my life have I considered a Girafarig as my potential PMD-sona but here we are despite it all. Even though I was skeptical at first I am now in permanent love.
Gotta think of an Exploration Team name now... hm.
#tagging you per request onefey#what a fun little thing you did thanks for giving me an excuse to doodle#i'm enlightened now i'm a changed person#i've always been kinda “eh” about girafarig especially the shiny but now i think i might genuinely love them#also i'm very average height so the idea of evolving into something tall like farigiraf is hilarious to me#and wimpod... my beloved#i could not have gotten a better partner i love golisopod so much#to all my mutuals out there... if you're reading this i am alive but only barely#i have not forgotten you guys and i think about you daily despite disappearing off the face of the earth#been pushing myself to try and be online again but things have been rough#to anyone that has sent me discord messages that i haven't replied too--#--i promise i read them and they made me smile#i'll try to talk to you guys soon! <3
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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have you ever had something so significant and impactful happen to you but it’s in a really niche area that you can’t really tell anyone in your general life about, so you’re just left imploding and silently screaming???? it’s hell 😭😭
very long story made semi-short; my found family and i have attended and contributed to a live action role play camp twice a year for almost a decade now that’s based on hogwarts/the hp universe and really fucking well made by a skilled team. and you get really fucking attached to these characters because for a few weeks every year you live as them and make friends as them and it’s REAL even though it’s not. my last character was so fucking devastating and important to me, and she had this epic tragic love story with my best friend’s character. we haven’t played them since we finished their storyline in 2023. AND MY BEST FRIEND WAS JUST ASKED TO RETURN AS THAT CHARACTER FOR THIS YEAR’S CAMP????? that’s HUGE, the game masters never make requests like that and it’s super secret but he told me (because it would be cruel not to with our characters’ backstories) and i’m just reeling with shock and excitement and fear. like i’m left REELING at the fact that i get to see him again (him being my bsf’s old character) (bc when you finish playing someone you never get to “see” them again uknow? it’s a whole thing) and also at what this means and all the wounds from the two of them are opening up again and we’re just DYING. we have no idea why he was asked back or what will happen it’s INSANE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. to deal with it all i’m knitting and crocheting him a bunch of different things that my character has made for his (they live together on her family farm and she uses crafts and art to cope</33) and we’re just literally crying. i love them, they’re sunshine x sunshine and literal soulmates — i made that character based on the concept of what would happen if a sensitive, creative child had the most gentle and accepting parents who cultivated kindness. and then there was a war and her parents were fucking killed offfffff and it was such a huge thing. she lost her leg, her boyfriend lost his eye. it was a whole thing. i’m jittery with emotion and handcrafting at god’s speed because this camp is in three weeks and i’m just. dying. and screaming. my poor wife. (dw she attends the camp too and is screaming with me)
#anyway#sorry for that lore dump#this will be consuming me for the next forseeable future#of all the characters i’ve played at this camp or others she changed me the most#just the sweetest little girl#and he’s the sweetest little boy#and he went through hell but found peace in her and she had her peace but was then dragged through hell with him#star crossed lovers tortured side by side it was INSANE#i want to underline that this is and was so much fun#but these characters were finished in 2023 so to have it be rehashed now is such an intense experience#especially when only my best friend and i (and our partners) know#like. i will never write a story more satisfying to me than my characters’ arcs at these camps#and that one specifically was SO straight out of a movie#like with role play you never know what you get but it was PERFECT#i could write the scenes into fan fiction and it would have been platinum content i swear#we’re talking she was being singled out for torture bc she was seen as so pure and sweet that to break her would send the biggest message#and he transfigured her a flower into a ring that she could spin and begged her to just spin the petals and focus on that#and held her as she sobbed thinking it was her fault#AND CONFESSED HIS LOVE IN THAT MOMENT BUT THEN THEY ERASED HER MEMORY#them being the bad guys#it was wild i wish i could ever communicate it to someone who don’t attend that camp#it’s very much a you had to be there thing#but lord do i wish i could play my memories like a movie for everyone to see#A NYWAY#carina needs to get her shit together
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if i may allow myself a monthly Joker Moment, a lot of the harshness i have towards myself tends to be a side effect of how the rpc as a whole tends to operate.
i have a lot of joy and love for the things i create. when i share them in rp spaces here though? sometimes it gets hard to keep loving them, and myself as well.
#💔 ˚₊ · 𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 ✗ long lost words whisper slowly to me. ❞#negative cw#tbd.#don't get me wrong. it's not as though i /don't/ experience joy when sharing my creations here.#and i really do appreciate all the love and support i've received in return.#re-reading messages/threads/etc. here often cheers me up during bad days.#there's just a level of instability & lack of permanence in the rpc;#that i still haven't quite grasped how to cope with in a healthy manner? (aside from just being here less often lol.)#like... does love and encouragement from a mutual truly mean anything. when in the end they dropped you like a used tissue?#was ur ship truly that special? when u get ghosted the moment ur ship partner finds someone better? more interesting? faster at writing?#did you and your rp partner truly get along? when the slightest misunderstanding or disagreement lands you in their blocklist?#are you really okay when any of the above happens? or are you just expected to be?#because if any real life equivalent of any of this stuff happened to you irl. you'd be hurt. you'd be sad. that is normal.#sometimes i feel like there's this expectation to react to hurtful things like a machine in rp spaces.#and just... keep moving and operating like normal in spite of something upsetting happening. it's odd.#and it gets hard to remember that i'm actually a person. who deserves to be treated like a person.#(ironically. typing all this is making me remember some characters i made for staticmonitor's lore when i was active on the blog.#they were a commentary on some tumblr rpc-isms. but i found them too negative to fully realize. it's funny to think about now tbh.)#anyways... plz excuse the crashout here. i had a shit day at work and i'm kinda derealized lmao.#i'll delete this later.
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every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan
#can /some people/ do this and have it be healthy for them? sure#but this is the overwhelming pressure both in a relationship and from society#and ime at least it has fucked me up a lot#to have sex i technically gave uncoerced consent to#where i was uncomfortable and unhappy and doing it to try and make my partner happy#bonus points for ‘it’s just like any other activity! just like you can watch a movie you don’t like for the sake of your partner#you can take a few hours to have sex you don’t like for them’#like come on now.#sex is not in fact psychologically identical to movies for most people#when i was a kid my school often made me watch movies I didn’t like or want to watch#you can say this isn’t ideal but#surely you can see. how this is different. than if they had made me have sex i didn’t want.#whatever WHATEVERRRRRR i know the sentiment is helpful for a lot of ppl#and i probably go too hard in the opposite direction#but im not framing myself as a wise advice giver im just rambling in tumblr tags abt my issues#if i were giving advice. well personally i would try to be more nuanced#than ‘don’t worry about it! it’s fine and normal to have sex you’re uncomfortable with and if you disagree you’re acephobic’#but that’s just me.#therapists dni#oh also I agree that people shouldn’t have to fake ‘normal reactions’ to sex#or to try and have orgasms if that’s unrewarding for them etc#im stone! its complicated! i get it!#but you gotta be careful to give the message ‘it’s complicated’#and not just. encouraging ppl to do things they’re genuinely uncomfortable with to make their partner happy.
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Anyway asshole sneezed yesterday while I was driving and I nearly wrecked my car lmao
#snz kink#and he did it more than once too like excuse you#might as well have whipped his dick out smh#i didn't actually almost wreck tho I'm just being dramatic lmao#thank god he didn't bring up the fact that it's a kink again tho bc i might’ve fr wrecked ahdkalsk#but i was like 'don't do that I'm driving 😒' and he sarcastically apologized#to his credit he did try to stifle when he did it again but that was worse bc i felt bad lmao#'well don't do *that*' and then he snorted and rolled his eyes and was like 'there's no winning with you'#god he's so great to converse with even when we're playfully bickering lmao fuck#still crazy to me that I've never been into a cishet man before in my life and always thought I'd end up with a woman#just for the first person I've ever dated to be not only a cishet man#but also my fucking coworker after i said i would never date a coworker#hate this for me but also 🥰#also now I'm extra feeling some type of way about the fact that he sent me those voice messages while he was sick#like damn maybe that did do something to me ahdkkala#maybe I should listen to them again just to see 👀#nah I'm not actually gonna do that lmao I'd feel weird if i did#anyway rip to y'all who followed me for snz lmao this is basically just a simp blog these days#oh well it's my blog lmao#partner posting
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dw i'm writing, but promise me you won't let me get back into h.aik.yuu!! i'll go truly insane if i collect any more silly lil boys to write or start contemplating old oc's again. i don't wanna do it
#lies!! i wanna do it!!#though it feels bittersweet bc back then i was writing makiko and i loved her so so much she went through such beautiful development#some of my favorite character development i've ever gotten to write tbh#and writing makiko and getting back into rp led me to writing chiyo again#but i also didn't have the confidence i have now? so aside from a few mutuals who followed me from blog to blog#i don't know if anyone i knew back then still writes bc i didn't keep in contact#and let's be real i'm bad at messages now too but at least i try to be active on the dash when i can be#i dunno i just regret not being better back then#so i hope i can continue to improve and be a good friend and writing partner to everyone here#anywayyyyy ignore me i'm feeling nostalgic!! but back to drafts!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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luigi time!
#super mario#luigi#clai's art#I'M SO MAD I POSTED THESE IN MY DISCORD CHAT FIRST WITH THE MESSAGE:#''guess who i've just drawn. hint: he's green and a nintendo character''#and i'm KNOWN for being a huge fan of N P/kemon so they were supposed to guess HIM and then i'd go ''HAHA WRONG ITS LUIGI''#BC I'VE LITERALLY NEVER TALKED ABOUT MARIO WITH THEM#BUT BY SOME CHANCE THE FIRST PERSON WHO REPLIED. ANSWERED LUIGI AS A JOKE#SO MY JOKE WAS RUINED#anyway. i'm playing superstar saga rn i'm enjoying it a lot#i love the mario and luigi series so much but i've only finished bowser's inside story and that was YEARS ago#i got stuck at one boss battle in partners in time and then my r4 broke so i never finished that#and i only got to play dream team for a little bit bc it was my friends copy not mine#now that i have a jailbroken 3ds i can FINALLY play and finish ALL OF THEM
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Been a little stressy but hopefully things start looking up
#im gonna get back to all my messages and asks now in the next hour#my partner lost his job#and my company is likely shutting down this month#so its been a bit hectic and panicky#especially since we have rent to pay and an upcoming lease renewal#i had my tattoos booked for next month but will see if i'll have to cancel them or not which would majorly suck because ive been waiting fo#a year now#but also cant be spending my rent money if im out of a job on tattoos#hopin i get a interview for this role a recruiter suggested me for
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SPEAKING OF WHICH are there like any chill wizard101 discord servers or group chats that I could join. Or if anyone just wanna add me on discord shoot me a tumblr DM because I'm lonely and I like you guys :)
#ive had this thought for a while BUT IM JUST SHY. but after the soap opera morganthe dream i just had i need wizard friends to yell at#i got like one wizard mutual on discord already. if youre reading this you know who u are. love you /p <3#other than that one person NONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS ON DISCORD PLAY THE GAME AND IM LOBELY#I WANNA TALK ABOUT WIZARDS AND SHIT#altho ill probably be a useless discord discussion partner because i have no literary comprehension-#-and i havent played the source material in years. okay#all my knowledge on wizard101 is either personal headcanons im now considering as facts or secondhand knowledge from the internet#also my ocs. i love talking about my ocs even though they have the depth of cardboard#ALSO LOVE HEARING ABOUT OTHER PPLS OCS THATS MY FAVORITE THING TO READ FROM MY FRIENDS#like you could dm me at 4 in the morning to talk about your ocs i would be so happy#altho fair warning i can suck at dms bc im an anxious little chihuahua so if ur gonna add me i must warn u. i text back 5 years later#either i send 200 messages in the span of 5 minutes or you wont hear from me until we're both 30. sorry thats just the autism for u#BUT YEAH if anyone wants to add me they can#this fandom is like the only fandom in the world im comfy with interacting with LMAO#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts
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my one lunch break is my one break and this is the coworker that was "helping" me in my class yesterday. And by help I mean she sat and a chair and left me to do everything by myself
#on the plus side my director said my classroom management skills were getting better#which is true but because I have to do everything alone#yes I'm using my one lunch break to bitch but I love bitching#I live to bitch and bitch to live#introverts y'all have spent the last 30 years or so bragging about how you don't like to socialize#WE GET IT! MESSAGE RECIEVED! NO ONE ASKS YOU TO DO ANYTHING WITH THEM BECAUSE YOU MADE A PERSONALITY OUT OF NOT WANTING TO DO THINGS!#today's not my day to begin with#I got my paycheck and got my money orders to pay my rent come to find out my landlord won't take my money unless I pay him a $75 late fee#girl I have $16 left in my bank account and that $16 is supposed to somehow feed me for two weeks#this can't be the same paycheck my coworkers is raising multiple kids with#are their partners secretly doctors or oilmen and they don't want flex in my face#what is going on#now I got to text my sister and ask her for $75 and hope she have it#and imma have to pay June's rent late but at least I'll have my teacher supplement payment on that check so I'll be alright#but times are hard and I hate asking for money on here in general#but I really hate asking when I'm whining about my bullshit and people are trying to escape a literal genocide
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decided to finally start on my pile of paperbacks that I've bought over the last 6 months and haven't touched in favor of rereading aftg and fanfic :)))
anyways, reading Carry On first because idk it seemed easy to read even though I haven't read anything in first person in over 15 years probably.
#my posts#carry on#rainbow rowell#wait actually is pjo first person? technically my partner is reading that TO me and I didn't notice#EITHER WAY#uh... listen I sat down and started at like 9pm and it's now midnight and I'm a quarter of the way through#so it's safe to say I am enjoying it.#anyways I'm contemplating publicly posting my THOTS (that I jotted down via discord message to myself) but I haven't decided.#does anyone want to see my dumbass commentary chapter by chapter? no?
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