#now that my mum has it i hate it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
having a uterus is so shitty
#ari's shit#help i hate periods#ive been crying for a good 10 minutes#cause there is 3 of the same mouses in our house#and idk what to do#how do i tell them apart#help#why am i crying#this is so shit#and like the mouses r so fucking annoying#ugh#i thought it was exactly the mouse i wanted#now that my mum has it i hate it#and now we have an extra my dad sometimes uses one#wtf#why does everyone have a mouse like mine#i hate htis#help i cant stop cryong
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying so hard not to get upset and say fuck it and delete my tumblr
#the reason i’m upset isn’t even anything to do with tumblr#i’m upset bc of my mum and this house and just#idk i know i’m being emotional but i’m honestly struggling right now and i can feel my mental health getting fucking worse#and i’m just like haha who would even care if i leave#idk i probably sound so privileged to other people people probably think my problems are so stupid haha#i just hate this house it’s not a good place for me to be right now#when my mum just has random little outbursts and blames me#and then decides oh you know i offered for you to stay here rent free? oh and how i pay for the food#yeah well now you have to pay rent and i’m also not going to feed you okay!!!!!!#anyway.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor reaching for the phone cause i can’t fight it anymore and i wonder if i ever cross your mind for me it happens all the time IT’S A QUARTER AFTER ONE I’M ALL ALONE AND I NEED YOU NOW SAID I WOULDN’T COME BUT I LOST ALL CONTROL AND I NEED YOU NOW AND I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN DO WITHOUT I JUST NEED YOU NOW another shot of whiskey can’t stop looking at the door wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before and i wonder if i ever cross your mind FOR ME IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIMEEEEE IT’S A QUARTER AFTER ONE I’M A LITTLE DRUNK AND I NEED YOU NOW SAID I WOULDN’T COME BUT I LOST ALL CONTROL AND I NEED YOU NOW AND I DON’T KNOW HOW I CAN DO WITHOUT I JUST NEED YOU NOWWWWWWW OHHHWOAHHH guess i’d rather hurt than feel nothing at alllllllllllllll IT’S A QUARTER AFTER ONE I’M ALL ALONE AND I NEED YOU NOW AND I SAID I WOULDN’T COME BUT I’M A LITTLE DRUNK AND I NEED YOU NOW AND I DON’T KNOW HOW I CAN DO WITHOUT I JUST NEED YOU NOOOWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST NEED YOU NOWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWW OH BABY I NEED YOU NOOWWWWWWWWWWW
#LADY ANTEBELLUM SAVE MEEEE#my mum used to play this cd on loop when i was like. 14 i have never once been normal about this song#to the enlightened mind this is dabihawks post-war post-betrayal post-twice-&-wing-burning#specifically hawks pov. he hates dabi he lost everything to dabi but when they met he was faced with someone who hated heroes#and pro hero hawks who has been raised to be nothing but the embodiment of his hero persona had to find an identity for dabi to tolerate#in order for his espionage to bear fruit for it to be SUCCESSFUL he had to find something human inside of him. he had to find keigo again#from the very beginning dabi got something from hawks that no one else did and that vulnerability extrapolated as they met more#and the stakes got higher and dabi began to give something back and now it’s over. it’s over they’re as far from one another as can be#but hawks misses the honesty he got to have with dabi. inadvertently or for the mission whatever the reason hawks wasn’t just a hero there#he was something else. something human. and when the day is over and he comes home to an empty penthouse he finds himself thinking of him#I GET IT. GODDDDDD#I WONDER IF I EVER CROSS YOUR MIND 😄🔫#dabihawks
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hve a little sale going on in my shop rn!! 10% off some stuff! trying to move some of my older stock i am. running out of room oh dear oh dear
#barks#its running until next sunday so fill ur boots#my new prints arrived n i was like okay sick. whrere do i put these#my mum has decided she loves. cutting out n sticking labels on envelopes so now i hve a helper ssbgksbgkbs#nothing in the world i hate more than . cellotape noises
171 notes
·
View notes
Note
you hate the Jason parents retcon? Me too; I've never seen anyone else like the circus parents more
I kinda feel bad now bc I meant the Jason's parents retcon of them going from victims of their circumstance to poor people bad sorry anon I'm sure there are people who prefer circus parents #2 I'm just not one of them (if you do sound off so anon knows they're not alone)
#ask#anon#im gonna continue my little steph Jason parents rant from yesterday tho bc i got a lot to say#like the way that steph and jason basically had mirror images of their parents#is a really easy way to see how the perception of poor people#changed between their two eras of batman comics#like jasons parents being poor and bc of that being forced to do shitty things#to stephs mum and dad being poor and just shitty people#but the reason i dont complain about stephs background like i do with jasons now that they've retconed his parents#is bc Jason was also retconed to always be this overly angry kid#while steph literally choose to fight her fathers villainy#and everything steph does herself fights back again poor stereotypes#like how she was a teen pregnancy#so while steph fights against sterotypes jason has been retconed to play into them#and i hate it#its why i think if you want to explore the bad poor parents you do it with steph#and we should try to steer jasons back into jason was a good kid with good parents who were doomed to fail by the system
142 notes
·
View notes
Text
how many breakdowns should you have about dropping out before you seriously consider dropping out. asking for a friend teehee
#shock horror. i am not asking for a friend#turns out going to uni bc you had no idea what else to do + taking a course you’re mostly interested in bc you like space#is not necessarily a good idea. who would have thought#see the thing is if this didn’t cost money i wouldn’t be so worried. but i don’t want to keep having this breakdown and eventually drop out#in like a year’s time with twice the amount of debt or whatever#rn now i keep looking on indeed like hmm. i could totally drive trains that would be an amazing idea. driving a milk float!! so slay!!#bc i realised shortly after getting here that i do not want to do a phd which basically rules out any astrophysics jobs#my mum suggested looking at summer placements but quite frankly i need to get a job over summer if i stick with my degree bc i am ✨broke✨#rn i’m saying shit like oh i’ll just write a book and get it published. totally feasible way to make some quick cash (delusional)(knows it)#november has been hell i do not have a draft let alone a book#and i’m tired and i haven’t had a proper meal since thursday and my room is a tip#i‘ve had like three conversations with my friends in the past fortnight and none of them lasted longer than five minutes#i was so fucking excited for uni!! it was going to be so good!! i feel bad for wanting to drop out bc i don’t hate it!!#i just don’t really like it either#god fucking damn it. this shit is worse than a sexuality crisis. at least they had zero real world impact bc i was an antisocial fucker#this is the rest of my fucking life!! the hell!!
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
trying to act normal over the fact that we're moving house next week. and failing
#god i just need to fall apart NOW#im barely hanging on fr#we dismantled the sofa today and are now sitting on our old chairs in the living room#and i almost died actually#thinking about how i had no idea that last night would be THE last night i ever ate my dinner on that sofa in this house#or about how last night was the last night I would ever sit with my boyfriend on that sofa in this house#or or or or or#there are so many things that are about to be the last time i ever do them in this house#and i hate that i cant properly know when they will be#what if i never walk my dogs in this park again#what if i never wash my hair upstairs ever again#what if i never cook another meal in this kitchen#WHY CAN WE NOT KNOW WHEN WE ARE DOING THINGS FOR THE FINAL TIME#i hate this#it's literally never going to be over and i mean that#after we move#we have to clean and organise and unpack/buy things for my dads house#which will take months especially to buy furniture and decorate bec he wont have enough money for extra things#and then my mum will be moving into her new house#probably December but honestly could be after Christmas. who knows#and then the same again#at least her house is newer and has been lived in#dads hasnt been lived in for years and is dirty and unused#FUCK#i need a break#and i just know i wont be able to visit my boyfriends house for WEEKS#i just want to get through this move but god. it will never be over#em talks#tag talk
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the dramas from the wedding was one of the grooms cousins (on the other side not mine) just not wearing the clothes we had made for her specifically
#i think they cost smth like 1 lakh rupees so that is crazy#she is such a bitch i cannot believe it#when asked about it she just laughed in our faces and said it didnt fit.. it was custom made and she was the one who sent the measurements#and all of the other cousins wore matching ones in different clothes#she just thinks shes better than us.. bc she managed to go to the us and now has a fake american accent also#i dont get this inferiority complex our people have. it is ridiculous.#i told everyone we should we should ask for the clothes back since she clearly doesnt want them but they said it was a gift so no#actually i think she just wanted to be 'modern' and our clothes were a traditional gharara#so she came with her legs out :/#tbh she looked bad anyways so . actually idgaf#she literally did not acknowledge me or my sister at all i think she considers us . i dont know like their maids that were brought along#its actually crazy like. she was acting like she was closer to the bride and groom than we were and we were just some randos#its basically my brother who is getting married and we havent spoken to this girl for years?? she was the reason my aunt came to the uk#bc she used to beat up my cousin (who got married) when he was little and my aunt didnt want to be around her and her mum didnt control her#imagine breaking the family up and being hated by the immediate relatives of the groom and acting like you are the vip guest..#havent told my cousin how she acted with us yet bc partially its like whats the point shes nobody#but i feel like his wife thinks shes super nice bc of course she was sucking up to her#i dont want to be a bad sister in law and cause problems so i'll just keep it to myself#not like anyone will talk to her again so what does it matter#it was nice seeing our side of the family though#especially one of my great aunties who accoring to my sister i was 'glazing' lmaoo#maybe its bc they know i am my mothers daughter and the other side dont?#i feel like its still unacceptable behavoiur though. just rude for no reason you could at least say hello
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ROZZZAAAAAA
my (not so) secret (not so) tory crush of 2 years
#oughhhhh#he waved at my mum lol#it was so good actually#i’ve watched so many of his talks and interviews on youtube for so long#and then i saw it live#i wish i could remember everything he said#but the passion and humour that imbues everything his does was present as ever#i hate that im such a rory dick rider#but he was so good#and HOTTT ‼️‼️‼️#also saw his wife and kids during the intermission 💀💀💀💀💀#second time seeing andrew walter live? too? which was funny#really interesting and it felt like he covered so much but also on scratched the surface#need to get back into trip#and finish his book lawl#this past year has gone by so fast#i stopped paying a lot of attention to rory when his book came out bc he was just everywhere and it was too much#after over a year now i feel safe enough to come back hehe#rory stewart#🦔
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
their relationship means everything to me
#THE WAY TINA WAS THE ONE WHO HATED SYD THE MOST AND MADE HER LIFE HELL AT FIRST AND TRIED TO GET HER TO QUIT#BUT SYD INSPIRED TINA AND THEY SLOWLY SLOWLY BEGAN TO WORK TOGETHER#AND NOW TINA IS THE FIRST TO ASK SYD IF SHE'S OKAY ON A BAD DAY AND SYD IS THE FIRST TO TRUST IN TINA AND HER SKILL#BAWLING ACTUALLY!!#this show is so genuinely good like i was saying to my mum the other day that this is the first time in so fucking long#where ive watched a new piece of media and it's just genuinely been GOOD. like i find myself pointing out shit that was once a given#in media like 'every single character is given time and depth and purpose and everyone has dynamics with everyone#not just the leads with each other and there's difficult-to-love characters that work hard to grow on you' etc etc#and it's such a shame that the entertainment industry got to such a place where every piece of media currently coming out was just awful#and you'd have to really dig to find something good but i hope with the strikes atm at the very least we're headed in the right direction#and i know this disney show isn't exactly some radical new thing but. idk it's just nice to watch something good again#and get really into something that is generally quite mainstream#the bear
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water#my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort#bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle#the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum#isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year#program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to#get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying#as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol#hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of#sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess#but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it#hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not#causing it. ugh symptom management i guess#unrelated
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
qaughhhhxhdhbebrrh
#everything is bad rn.#just had to get out of car after road trip (i’m sitting in the back) which is always bad#bad*#there’s a huge sleeping bag that was next to me which had the worst fucking texture ever#and my mum was constantly brushing against i with her clothes which also have a bad texture and together they made the worst fucking sound#there’s a kid in front of me who has been annoying me all day#and she always drags her fingers along the roof of the car and the seats and the sleeping bag and i can’t stand it#anyway just as i was about to go out#i dropped my phone and o couldn’t get it out again it was stuck in the trunk of the car#so i had to get out without my phone which is fine i don’t need to use my phone all the time but i like to hold it#it makes me feel more comfortable holding like. idk that shape and weight and stuff IDK it’s weird#but yeah i had to wait until the bags all got unloaded to get my phone back but before i got it back i went to the bathroom#which i couldn’t find so my dad asked the staff of the hotel where one was but he called me his mf daughter#😁👍#then i went to the bathroom#cried#my mum came into the bathroom and i hate it when she does this and i knew she was going to and she did#she called out my deadname in the public bathroom and told#me she had my phone#and i was so fucking stressed o did not want to talk i still do not want to talk#so i was just like ok#and she was like Ok???? like i had killed her fucking parents or something#so i had to be like thank you while i was having a meltdown#cleaned myself up and now i’m in the room and it’s hot and i don’t like it but whatever#shut up mars#:(
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
told my mum abt my addiction
#huge milestone bc i normally tell her nothing personal#im trying to remember that she has changed a lot since i was a kid#i hate mother issues#us being born hardwired to need our mums combined with my mums special brand of neglect and abuse#so funkyyyy#she has gotten better though.#and im not saying it to defend her- i spoke about hating her in therapy a few weeks ago#but even my therapist recognised that she is trying now…#which is massive for the woman who was all talk no walk#jaz rambles#jaz vents#tw addiction
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
*
#i made a post that was like i should keep the fact that my mum won’t live at the back of my mind#but i should also keep at the back of my mind that my mum might not ever go back to how she used to be that maybe she won’t fully recover#that she won’t regain her speech and she’ll continue to speak gibberish even though in her head she knows what she wants to say#and maybe her movement won’t ever be the same like maybe she’ll have to use some kind of support forever#i just don’t want her to be bed bound though inshaAllah like even if she can get herself out of bed that’ll be good#like right now she can barely use a sara steady yesterday they had to hoist her out of bed and into it#the thing is she’ll absolutely hate if this happens if she can barely speak and move#like if this was just a stroke i think she would have been fine by now and recovered quite well#but it’s the fact that she has cancer that keeps her fatigued so she can barely do any rehab
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Putting on last year's trans rigs stream from Drawfee before i have to get ready to go out with my mum and her bf today (bc i have the worst feeling in my gut he's gonna make that An Thing for me if given the chance today, aka whenever i eventually need the restroom while we're at Mystic)
#text post#Housemate was amazing and helped me calm down a bit before ae went to work bc my brain woke up in meltdown mode over this tbh#it sucks bc like. im excited to see my mum despite the Everything with that lmao#but im not excited for how her bf has been acting since they got here (and it's been day 1 out of 7 days)#with some outright homophobic comments while Housemate and i hosted them briefly at our house yesterday afternoon#not abt us but like. i mean. u know we're both queer so#doesn't really matter if it's abt us or not it's still fucky and makes me worry abt how he's gonna be today!!#doesn't help that he really wanted to go to Italy with her instead this summer#(despite the passive aggressive complaints from him & mum to a degree abt how expensive it was for them to come out here)#(we're ignoring the fact that a European trip would be even more expensive lmao tho i do think if they want to/can afford it they should go)#like. the Vibe from him has just been that he'll be Just Polite Enough but that he didn't want to be here#and he doesn't expect to have any fun and it's like#dude i am Trying. i and Housemate have looked up stuff to do that includes things he likes (like guns and historical weapons)#we tried making comments abt that yesterday like hey u might like this but if there's anything u have in mind already#and he was just. whatever idc but then made comments that made it clear he's not excited for anything else#like museums or the beach for sea glass hunting or the bird sanctuary or even the zoo#and all have places to rest/sit plus restrooms and food so I don't think it's a worry abt facilities thing for him#i think he's just fed up that I'm still involved in my mum's life since i moved and like#yes there's a detangling of the umbilical cord i and my past therapist were trying to eventually get my mum to cut#since cutting it myself in any attempt has had her metaphorically taping it back together#but like. it's not entirely on me here. I'm trying to set boundaries and make sure she's giving him more attention than me since he's w/her#more than i am now#i know he's upset when she helps me financially too (i offer to pay her back but she always refuses it) bc she took me aside yesterday#to give me some cash for the time with them for souvenirs/fun stuff i might not buy otherwise bc im trying to be mindful of money#aka still waiting on money my fkn job should have already paid me like. a week or more ago now#he makes her happy so even if he hates me i still care abt his frustrating ass#and i do want him to have as much fun as he can while still relaxing during the trip out here#but i feel like im gonna have to physically shake him by the shoulders screaming this before he listens#and even if he listens he probably won't believe me#sorry for the tag essay the edible hasn't kicked in yet can u guys tell lmao
3 notes
·
View notes