#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
lumieumie · 2 days ago
Text
I AM HAVING THOUGHTS. (Apologies to my followers who do not follow me for Voltron just ignore this post)
I haven’t really seen much about this in particular so I don’t know if it’s an unpopular opinion or not, but I just did not like Hunk and Pidge in the last few seasons, even when it first came out back when I was younger. I really liked them in the first few seasons, I liked how they were like a little trio. But as the show built on Lance’s insecurities, it made their friendship in the later seasons… bad. Because not only was it actively acknowledged that Lance had these doubts about himself, but Hunk and Pidge just seemed to confirm his doubts about himself.
Yeah, sometimes their antics towards Lance were played off as comedic, but unlike the typical teasing amongst friends where everyone gets a laugh out of it, Lance seemed hurt more often than not. He didn’t seem to find these things funny.
They went from a cute little trio to a duo who actively made fun of the ‘odd one out’ because he wasn’t as ‘smart’ as them. And no, Lance wasn’t techy, but he also wasn’t STUPID. He was in an elite military school, you don’t get into those places by being stupid. Sure, he wasn’t a science whizz or anything, but that was never what he was there for anyways. He wasn’t trying to become a scientist or an engineer, he was there to be a pilot. There are other ways of being smart that don’t involve math and science.
Overall, Pidge and Hunk’s treatment of Lance and disregard for his feelings and opinions in the last couple of seasons was just gross. It’s not how real friends treat each other.
And then the game show makes it SO MUCH WORSE.
It felt like a really bitter punch in the gut after all the talk in the show about his insecurities and then it barely gets acknowledged, and THEN the game show episode basically puts it ALL INTO STONE that his insecurities are VERY FOUNDED, that his team, his FRIENDS all think he’s stupid. Then the poor treatment from the rest of the team is never brought up again and he just. Becomes a farmer. It really just sucks because it felt like it was all “he’s insecure but he can overcome those insecurities and reach his potential through facing them head on!” and it suddenly shifted to “ACTUALLY everyone does think he’s useless and stupid and also he never embraces his potential after the show he becomes a farmer lol”
I’ve been told a few times that I shouldn’t expect anything beyond what was given, because it’s a kids show and that kind of depth isn’t warranted.
In my opinion, the fact that it’s a kids show makes it WORSE.
You’re showing this guy’s best friends treating him like absolute garbage without any consequences ever. There is no apology, or a definite stop to the behaviour, his friends just get to use him as the butt of the joke even when he doesn’t find it funny. Lance is even shown to be hurt by their words. What kind of message is that sending kids?
Like. It’s showing them that one, it’s okay if their friends treat them horribly, because it’s ’just a joke’ so it doesn’t matter if they hurt you, and two, it’s showing kids that they can treat their friends like this without any consequences. As long as it’s funny to you, it’s fine. These are both HORRIBLE messages for kids.
Tldr: the borderline bullying from Hunk and Pidge was just unnecessary. They should’ve just cut it, because it made Hunk and Pidge very unlikeable as characters overall.
28 notes · View notes
rebouks · 4 hours ago
Text
My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024🎉
I ignored the brief and just did a fun round up of some fave screenies/posts from this year cos apparently i can't read and rules are LAME anyway!! weeee 🤸‍♀️🧡
January - Oscar scared the shit out of baby Levi and we finally found out where Triss had been hiding 🥹
Tumblr media Tumblr media
February - Robin met his bestie Alex on a camping trip and had enough of Levi's bullshit upon returning to school ffkfgjfk
Tumblr media Tumblr media
March - Kian got out of prison (ew) and decided to inconvenience his unsuspecting half-brother.. who didn't last long before telling him to shove it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
April - Oscar pissed Ivan off on a road trip of doom and Joey is still Joey..
Tumblr media Tumblr media
OH.. and Triss is hot af (no literally.. he's at the beach but also 🥵) also also.. him n' Tilda finally bumped uglies and were very cute
Tumblr media Tumblr media
May - Robin saved Levi from a soggy fate and spoke to him for the first time and the Finch's pretty much adopted him, whether he liked it at the time or not!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
June - I clearly took a break I forgot about in June so.. random edits woo 🤸‍♀️
Tumblr media Tumblr media
July - Oscar reminded us that addiction never truly goes away... (i think if i had to pick my fave post of the year this would be a top contender!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
August - The Finch family kidnapped Levi and went camping! 🤸‍♀️🌲 (MR CROWBAR WAS THERE TOO!)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
September - School was shit and Levi betrayed Robin's trust :c
Tumblr media Tumblr media
October - Things got tense and spooky in Robin's Until Dawn flavoured dream 😱 (probs the highlight of the year in an otherwise shite month for me tbh so yaaay for you guys for making it so fun! 🧡)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
November - Alex moved to the Bay!!! in contrast we also spent a few miserable days with Levi and Wren was her savage self and called Penny Budget Barbie which.. was iconic tbh go ginger queen go! 🧡
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
December - Robin was sick of Levi's stupid "friends" picking on Alex and let loose his inner Oscar, speaking in front of Alex for the first time (rip Aster for missing it tbh like what a time to take a whizz) buuut.. Robin still broke first and decided to stop snubbing Levi cos he felt bad for him ;-;
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tyyyy for the tag @zosa95 @hannahssimblr @sirianasims @simvanie @theplottdump 🤸‍♀️ i'm tagging everyone cos i think we should all look back on our work with a tear in our eye and a slap on the back, srsly go do it and blame me pls ty
what a year! i've spent most of this year feeling a bit overwhelmed and like i've not been getting anywhere/as far as i wanted to ffkfj but looking back i suppose it was pretty jam packed so maybe i should give myself a break (ahaaaajsdkj NEVER) anyway.. good times 🤸‍♀️ i've no idea what 2025 will have in store for me tbh but long live the Finch's i guess! 🧡
thank you to anyone who's been around with me this year, and those past! love you all 😘
34 notes · View notes
deweysdenouement · 2 days ago
Text
“This stays between us,” Ernest instructs his brother as Frank silently stitches the small but deep wound on his right side. “Seriously. Not even if Dewey asks.”
“I’ve never been accused of being a gossip,” Frank murmurs, finishing his work with surgeon-like precision.
“Come on, you owe me one.” Ernest nudges him with his boot. “That man thought I was you.”
“I always tell you not to do that,” Frank scowls. “You should have let me take the hit.”
“You would do the same for me. You have done the same for me.”
Frank drops the used needle into the tray beside his couch with a clank and a blank expression. “That was different,” he says. “I didn’t know the poison was in the sugar. I thought the violence would start after the tea.”
“You expect too much civility from your side,” Ernest tells him. “They were trying to kill either way. Why let someone finish their breakfast?”
“They were very polite.” Frank pours rubbing alcohol onto a cotton pad. “And J always…hey, do not scratch those stitches.”
“My associates just went for the gut.” Ernest winces at the burning sensation of the alcohol. “Didn’t take much of a look at me.”
Frank stares at him. He’s got the kind of stare that goes right through a person.
��What?”
“You’re upset,” Frank states.
“Alright, Captain Empathy.” Ernest rolls his eyes. “I scratched the stitches and it hurt, just get on with telling me off.”
“That would probably make both of us feel better,” Frank agrees. “But I’m asking you why anyway.”
“If you’d been the one who got stabbed, you’d have clammed up until the end of time,” Ernest says bitterly.
“We’re different people.” Frank puts down the cotton pad and folds his hands.
“I wish we were,” Ernest snaps, which he doesn’t mean to say at all, but his side is burning and a not-insignificant amount of his blood is on the floor.
Frank just nods. He doesn’t need any further explanation.
“Do you remember when we were little?” Ernest asks finally. “Before…before everything. And I cried because we all got different colour scarves for our birthday and I wanted red like yours?”
“So we’d match.” Frank smiles a little. “Yours was green.”
“And Dewey’s was yellow.” Ernest nods. “But Father sat us down and he told us that he didn’t want us to just be identical triplets our whole lives. He wanted us all to be as different as we could possibly be. That’s the only memory I have of him.”
“I remember,” Frank’s voice is soft. “I don’t think they ever mixed us up once.”
“I hate that they believed I was you so easily,” he says. Then, “No offence.”
Frank snorts.
“They don’t see a single tell,” he continues. “We’re one person on two sides. Where do you draw the line? What’s me, and what’s me pretending to be you? And what’s me pretending to be you pretending to be me? Are we both just pretending to be a manager?”
“Ernest.” Frank holds out a hand. “Stop.”
“Sorry.” Ernest shakes his head. “Too sincere for you?”
“I read the files on our parents,” Frank says quietly.
Ernest stills. Dewey had handed them each a copy of VFD’s records of their parents some years ago. He hadn’t been able to bring himself to read them, and neither had Ernest. He had been under the impression that Frank had never touched them either. The last he was aware, none of them knew a single thing about their parents beyond blurry, unreliable memories.
“How is that relevant?” Ernest says at last.
“Because…” Frank considers his words. “I looked at all these photos. I read people’s accounts of meeting them. Letters they wrote, diary entries. Even their school reports.”
“And?”
“And I’m nothing like them.” Frank smiles grimly. “I’m too neurotic, I was too clingy at school, I don’t laugh much. Our mother loved sesame and I’m allergic. Our father couldn’t focus on anything, but I can’t put something down until it’s finished. And they seemed so fun.”
“Where is this going?”
“Let me finish.” Frank huffs. “Our father questioned everything. He made trouble every single day at school, but it was because he had the strongest sense of justice any of those teachers had ever seen. He was charming and funny and he loved the sauna. He was a terrible dancer but a great singer. He wanted to be a cowboy when he was little.”
“Frank.” He can feel a dam starting to crack, something swelling to bursting in his chest.
“You’re not me,” Frank says sternly but gently. “You’re our father’s son. And that man is so loved and so missed. Which I’m told he would have been cocky about.”
Ernest laughs a little shakily.
Later, when he returns to his own room to rest, he finds a photo tucked into the pages of the book on his nightstand.
The man in it has a squarer jaw and darker hair, but the smile that looks back at him is like staring in a mirror.
19 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
Text
...
#me @ my youngest sister at 6.30 this morning: yooooooo can u draw me a fishy so i can get it tattooed on me?#i drew her some flowers so i want a paralell tattoo with her initials bc she has my initials on her#but i literally have not spoken to her since like may bc i do not talk to my sisters unless we r in the same room. no hate we just dont hav#a lot in common. it makes me a lil sad tho bc im curious abt them. my youngest sister is at least nice to me 😭#ive been thinking abt asking her for ages and last night i was asked abt my sisters so i was like. the time is now#while im still a bit elevated#which has been to my advantage bc i was able to stay v chatty and energetic while talking to ppl. and i think i made some friends#we bonded over fic reading. so theyre a bit. ya kno. girls gays and theys of science#we make the world go round. but its so interesting to hear them talk abt coming to school here bc they both liked where they were and r#leaving their support systems. and im like bruh if i didn't leave the southwest i was gonna die. im so happy to b here#support system? whats that. i talk to my parents once a month and that's it lol. but im gonna try to establish one here#and try to actually make actual friends. this school is way better abt making grad students interact#my last school was not at all like that. but anyway i had fun#and i mean im only at the start of the semester. and im in a good mood. and i kno things will get stressful#but im just really happy i got accepted here#and the longer im here the more clearly i can see how much i was suffering#the funny thing is tho that i wrote this last night and only hours later i was squirming in frustration bc the fact that im back in therapy#means i feel a greater obligation to not b actively self destructive. evil coping mechanisms my beloved#this is y my mum wanted me back in therapy bc im a goodie 2 shoes and when my counselor is like: did u do X the next time i see her. ill b#honest and itll b annoying >:-[ ugh#its just hard for me to b around ppl a lot bc i get stuck in mental loops bc ocd. which is exhausting. and i want it to stop#and i want to do bad things to make it stop but i wont bc im trying to b better#its just funny to me that ill go from everythings awful to everythings great i shoukd talk to my sisters and make friends and do this and#this and this. to oh god i cant do this anymore in such short time frames with certainty that how im feeling is how ive always felt#ive also noticed that my peaks of high energy do come before stressful events. which does make me worry for future stressful events. like#defending. i mean ive never gone fully off the tracks but its a lil alarming when it feels like the train is going at a million miles an hr#unrelated#meanwhile my other sister is apparently in Colorado but when i saw the pics is was like: YOU BITCH#R U CLOSE TO ME RN??? but no. Colorado is far away
13 notes · View notes
skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso
445 notes · View notes
randomminty · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Yeahlow
963 notes · View notes
lemongogo · 2 months ago
Text
college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
20 notes · View notes
triglycercule · 6 days ago
Text
swapinverse posting rn,,,,, (WAKE UP UNTITLED29876011111 MY LISTENER I KNOW YOU GET NO SLEEP BUT SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS SWAPINVERSE CRUMBS PSPSPSPSPPSPSPS)
anyways currently reworking savior and godDAMN is he soooo,,,,,,, my boy i love my boy. why does he literally combine the melancholic vibe of dust and then whatever the hell killer's got going on in his lore. hes literally so sad and emo and depressed but also has a perfect amount of i-dont-care-ness and built in commands,,,,,, hes so PERFECT my vision of this modernized savior is soooo amazing,,,,, none of you will be ready trust (hyping myself up over nothing)
i think its because i'm finally starting to THINK about my character's,,,,,,, characters?????? like before they were just concepts. i think. like just IDEAS and now especially for savior i'm starting to actually analyze his character and see where things go from there,,,, its sooooo fun i love this sosososos much,,,, now let's see if this streak of analysis will carry on for the 2 i still need to finish finish (crash and vice.SER my glitchy fuckass sons)
google what is the symbolic representation for ribbons and ribbon dancing and silk acrobatics. google ANSWER ME
#that last paragraph is because crash does those :3 he thinks hes so elegant SMH#siphon's supposed to be corrupted nm!ink but then i feel i may or may not have made him too NICE????#like what other traits am i supposed to add to make hin more like corrupted nm aside from the fact that he upsets the balance#and ink's already an asshole anyways!!! just that this ink wont be as energetic and just a tad more evil!!!!!#so what if i didnt do any canon research on anybody's origins that wasn't just the mtt SO WHAT OK#LET ME HAVE FUN WITH THESE CHARACTERS I DONT KNOW WITHOUT HAVING TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM#nevermind youre right...... i guess its time to do research on ink and error and CORE frisk and dream and nightmare....... siiiigh#AUAGHHHH I WANNA TALK ABOUT SWAPINVERSE SOOOO BAD#I WANNA BOUNCE IDEAS OFF SOMEONE BC IM KINDA STUCK FOR CRASH AND VICESER#BUT I CAN'T TELL SECRET MTT NATION MEMBER!!!!!!!! WHY NOT?????#BECAUSE I WANNA SEE THEIR RAW REACTION WHEN IT DROPS OFC WITH NO SPOILERS#listen is that sooo bad that i want people to be surprised and interested when it comes out IS IT#at least One person should be surprised and thats ok for me for nos#but unfortunately that DOES leave me with nobody to yap too........ feel so shahshdgsg#i NEED to talk about these characters i'm gonna go feral djdhshshhhhhhhh#swapinverse my beloved swapinverse my beloved maybe actually by this pace i'll finish in the summer of this school year???? who knows#i MUST make it a comic right??? what else can i do aside from make it s comic#or actually an ask blog i have no idea how ill present swapinverse to the world. but i've always had that issue sooooooo#the main story will be a comic......... other stuff people wanna know id asks.......... and then i guess i draw here snd there#oh gooodddd doing all that is going to KILL me but whatever i'm so excited for this project#i've been developing it since like basically freshman year swapinverse is growing with me 🧡🧡🧡🧡#tricule rant
10 notes · View notes
cern1cal0 · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
P.E. funtimes
27 notes · View notes
seaofreverie · 1 month ago
Text
I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
7 notes · View notes
curiosity-killed · 3 months ago
Text
i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
9 notes · View notes
elis-corner · 2 months ago
Text
crying because why the fuck did i pick a three year course of latin i can barely string a sentence together in english and it's literally my first and basically only language
4 notes · View notes
souenkun · 6 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's my birthday today, and I'm now as old as kita shinsuke in the timeskip! 🥳
Tumblr media
#wasn't sure if i wanted to celebrate here but KABU CAME HOME in my 4th multi pull and the world HAVE to know!!! ❤️‍🔥#legit shook my mom's shoulders in the middle of a jbbq spot because i didn't expect to pull him this early in a pokefair scout 😭💖#also! peek my hbslv photocards from 42yojin on the bird app 🤩💝 they came earlier this month and i gotta flex that here waughhhh 🥺🫶#anyway: here's to another year hoping that i can be somewhat healthy! i sure hope this month's medicine dosage works haha :')#and for whatever shitshow awaits me when i start school again in sept. nawt sure how i'm gonna wing it with my condition but 🤷‍♀️#that will be a problem i'll deal when i get there. thankfully i've been getting better at nawttt borrowing grief and anxiety from the futur#here's to hoping i can also live the ちゃんとやんえん way like kitasang does... i need have just half of his resilience to organize my life lmao 😭#but i'm grateful to have lived long enough to see the beauty in life 🥺🫶 met all kinds of amazing people and had tons of fun too!#also i went out today for ~3 hours 🥳🥂 my joints are sore as hell but i had fun + looked and felt pretty + bought a new jacket as my gift#most importantly KABU-SAN CAME HOME RRRRRAAAAHHHH ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 燃えろおおおおおおお!!!!!#LAST WISH but here's to hoping my exhaustion + stress from may disappears soon 😭🤚 i miss writing and i think it's interfering my writing#i hope you all have a great day ahead!!! 🫂💖 and kabu + larry comes home soon if you pull for them!!! 🥺🍀#personal
9 notes · View notes
iliveinprocrasti-nationn · 9 months ago
Text
one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
8 notes · View notes
lemonbeemon · 13 days ago
Text
Not to be sappy on main, but I will forever be a hater to people who say video games can't be a productive use of your time.
3 notes · View notes
leafy-m · 4 months ago
Text
So I hit my 700th edit for the WHA wiki today, because I am a totally normal person
#For the record I have been there for. 27 days.#That makes an average of 26 edits a day which is even more terrifying because I definitely was not updating every day#Also this is for the Telepedia Wiki not the Fandom one#Anyway you should check it out!#In maybe a week because the website cache is super slow for some reason when you're not logged in#But I'm having fun#The nice thing about working on a wiki where there's actually other people doing stuff#Is that they can do the boring stuff like character bios and etc while I run around doing the fun stuff like pages on animals and plants#Anyway I was working on the Eldroxen page which are the big fluffy ox from the Silver Eve Procession#And it was so funny collecting info on them from the main series and then checking Kitchen real quick and SURPRISE! THEY'RE EATING IT!#I mean I should have expected this after having watched Dungeon Meshi and yet~~~#Also funny was that I copy+pasted the page coding for one the (food) animals as a template for this giant Mole-worm beast page but#forgot to remove the line about it being for food and afterwards had a laugh and then removed it#But now I'm like. They probably WOULD eat that sucker. Giant mole worm/snake/dragon thing? That'd feed a whole town!#Qifrey could have an entire audience watching how he'd prepare and season it#Anyway if you've been wondering where I've been that's it#Also funny story: during the Covid pandemic I stayed employed when my coworkers got let go because they needed me to catalogue an entire#new set of guided reading books; and have these sets have a digital checkout instead of the old-school card catalog we were literally still#using in 2020. Anyway I went all out with the organization of the books and the boxes and even made a reference binder for the books#via subject so teachers/tutors could find specific subjects and reading levels etc#(I'd have done a digital way to search for results but honestly half the teachers couldn't figure out how to sign in to the laptop. So.)#Anyway. Only a handful of teachers actually used these books and two years later the school switched to a new reading program#that came with its own set of books and lessons so this 10k reading set was essentially unneeded (and my dear coworkers never got rehired)#Anyway I learned last week that they're clearing out that room and all of those barely-used books are getting thrown out 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#Isn't that funny#Literally everything is just sandcastles built in the surf#I'm so glad I already accepted this during my pumpkin carving years because otherwise I think I'd be upset#Anyway I'm gonna go play my spooky fishing game
3 notes · View notes