#now im going to go eat im starving | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chipper-smol · 4 months ago

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THEY'RE FINALLY DONE

this was fun as hell and I had a great time piecing together every detail together from the results of the poll. Yearning and Bitch Energy being real high REALLY caused Loop's outfit to be as drastic as it is.

I'll be making a second post later with all the various doodles and design notes I made along with the references I used.

UNTIL THEN please pore your attention over every detail and try to find the bits of yearning. There's inspirations from everyone except Siffrin

#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #spoilers #Loop #myart #fanart #i recommend other peeps do this!#It was a great challenge and im happy with the results!#legit will keep the majority of these details for my own human Loop #short hair esp #now im going to go eat im starving #ophiuchus

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whatthefuckisasweep · 11 months ago

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cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((

#my thoughts #i slept like 3 hours but my roommate kept moving and it bothered me where every movement made me irrationally angry #and i keep waking up and having immediate brainrot lfjkfnfjnf so its fun but also not bc im literally SO drained pleasssseee shut up brain #like baby i have a presentation tomorrow at 8:30AM and i have to do a whole reflection paper #go to fucking sleeeeeeep #and the worst part is i FORGOT to eat . before bed . cuz i was too tired and said fuck it ill eat in the morn #which is horrible bc now im like. starving and gross bc i also didnt do anything i kinda just collapsed JFKDNDKDN #but i dont wanna get up. because. um. four am and i dont wannnnaaa eat.i waanaa eat in the morning #so ive just been holding stan bunny close and thinking thoughts while actively trying to sleep JFKDNFKDJD #anyways. Im a functioning human person!#: D !#GggfrRRRAGGhggh #so annoying bc i usually can sleep on command like its nothing lmfao #but i have too many things on my frickin mind i cant shut it up pensive #anyways THIS IS A LONG TAG THING NSJFJDKFJD UHHHHH runs away #DELETE LATER????

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todayisafridaynight · 3 months ago

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We rlly don’t need another majima game 😭 please give other characters a chance he already had the spotlight in 0😔

lord if i speak on goro majima.

#snap chats #my last nerve was seeing him front and center on that Three Legends shirt with daigo and saejima im SICK OF HIM #what do you MEAN the Sixth Chairman is backseating majima. like thats his retainer PUT DAIGO UP FRONT #it aint even bias its gen just like. why is the sixth chairman not treated the most important. thats The Chairman of the whole shit #EX chairman whatever we know what i mean #'snap its just a shirt' and these are just my balls alright its all the little things that are like Dawg Cmon #i woulda got the shirt cause it looks like somethign youd get from claires and thats hilarious However ... im annoying.#ill say this then play y0 and be like Ah..... i love you...#fr tho im sick of him GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT THAT GUY #im that meme of spiderman holding back the train and the trains saying mean things about majima #this ire is only brought by rggtwt mates insisting majima needs any more content. like at all.#they gave majima a y0 statue but as far as i can see kiryu doesnt have one like What.#ik i say id skip y0 kiryu if i could during replays and its never that serious but still .... the hell...#my brother in christ majima does not need any more why are you acting starved #i get it hes your fave but my god. goku this trains heavier than i thought i cant do it #ive had beef with rggtwt ever since they tried to say majima was more important to kiryu than haruka. like brb eating a cactus #rgg making gaiden was the worst thing they couldve done cause now everyone wont stop mentioning charas getting a gaiden game #MAJIMA OF ALL OF THEM DOES NOT NEED ONE MFER THATS WHAT Y0 WAS FOR. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT #THEY GAVE HIM AN EXTRA STORY IN YK2 ALSO LIKE RGG IS DOING THE MOST FOR A SIDE CHARACTER #anyway this is why im happy saejima and akiyama are getting figures. ESPECIALLY AKIYAMA #I FEEL LIKE WE NEVER SEE SHIT OF THAT GUY and saejima. tbh. but still ... akiyama esp just feels left out #big hope other charas start to get more love. like my daughter haruka ok rgg plesae drop one of her idol statues thank you #on a lighter note september is almost upon us which means two things #1.) i have to move back to school at the end of the month 2.) rgg news is soon .....#SOOO curious as to what's on the horizon .. maybe ill stream it for the first time in nine thousand years #ok bye im gonna eat cereal <- diced spam and rice

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fennecfiree · 4 months ago

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Tw vent in tags uh ed

Sobbing to this uh

#vent tw uwu #i haye myself so much lalala #i cant even fucking just starve myself cuz my parents have to give me food and now they want me ro eat onfront of them so i cant just throw #it out #im tryinf to eat 500 cals a daybut it keeps being 800 #im literally fucking discusting bro #its so hard to hide my eating disorder when i had this SAME ed when i was 7 ans now if i dont eat one meal my parents are concerned #ive just been feelinf like shit the past like #4 fucking months #im going to school in September and im tryinf to starve myself as much as possible before then so i dont look like a ugly shit #but im just fuckinf failing #im suposed to be eating 300 or500 #but instead im eatinf like800 to 1000 on some days #some days i atleast get to 600 #ive bren doinf tgis shit for a month and.ive only lost.like 4 pounds #sometimes i just feel likr laying in my room all day and fuckinf rotting #eating only fucking gum and drinking monster or smth #i hate this and i know its stupid and i know i dont want to die but i KNOW this kills #i almost died when j was 7 from it #and i dont want to die #but i dont want to get better #anyway the main person keeping me alive in this shit is my poopir #egg 🐻#Spotify

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angelstrawbabie420 · 5 months ago

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oh fucking BROTHER i just finished cleaning and had made smth to eat bc i finally convinced myself after all day that i wld feel better if i did (it’s been a HORRIFIC ed day) and i kid you not as soon as i sat down i dropped the whole thing all OVER myself and it FUCKING BURNED and HURT bc it was SCALDING !!!!! and then i had to clean up the ONE thing id convinced myself was okay to eat OFF THE FLOOR I JUST FINISHED MOPPING!!!!!! BROTHER. WHY ME.

#ed tw #dlt ltr #the reason i convinced myself to even eat was bc my hands were too shaky to paint my nails #which is pathetic. dude ur starving lol.#top tier sanity in my house tonite 👍 mental illness banished idk them #i did not however drop the plate from shaking. i was trying to put it on the table but i have horrible depth perception and #awareness of what’s in my vacinity. i drop crap and crash into shit all the time #idk what to do now that honestly threw me off so bad i sat there in silence for a solid minute #BBQ SAUCE ON MY TIDDIES #IT ACTUALLY WAS TOO I WAS FUCKING EATING A RIB PATTY #or i was going to. now idk what im doing.#horrendously sad and pathetic side note why are eds so invasive. ive been fully relapsed w it for like two weeks how did i get to the place #where i’m TERRIFIED to eat anywhere near four digits within days #whatever i need nicotine bye.

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suffercerebral · 6 months ago

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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar #no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new #but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term #so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now #so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but #it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out #that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance #so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial #but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal #although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive #i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary #ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness #which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days #and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself #im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles #but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy #and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me #i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this #i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself #im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body #im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up #and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please #and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching #between numbness and overwhelming agony #what the fuck am i talking about

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maretriarch · 5 months ago

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turns out how not to be deficient in fat in your diet is to stop eating only low fat versions of foods

#i was scared of being hungry unfortunately and didnt want to change my diet to more calorie dense stuff out of fear of like hunger related #mood swings which i get badly now which i didnt used to which is awesome i totally love feeling like a half starved half mad dog if my lunc #is like half an hour late #i will not eat like regular ice cream but y'know. cheeses. yogurt thats abt it i eat the same 9 ingredients in rotation #apples cauliflower cottage cheese cabbage sardines carrots broccoli tomatoes uhhhh monster energy drinks #i mean other stuff too sometimes but those r the staples #if i could go raw vegan without dying i probably would just bcs its easier #that list is kind of pathetic and depressing but idk man what's a guy to do #i do worry about it not being varied enough and missing micronutrients and stuff but like yknow ive always been a very unadventurous eater #eating the same things day in day out years on end and ive always been like fine lol it's just a less heavy carb selection these days which #like im pretty sure all that you need xyz amount of grains a day is a total psyop by the corn and wheat us subsidies i don't think you need #that shit just like how you dont need milk.

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slutdge · 6 months ago

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i hope my last motivational post about turning my life around didnt imply that im gonna stop being a hater. i will be a hater forever, im just gonna be more nuanced and thoughtful about it now. also i developed yet another weird crush on an old man in a shitty band.

#reporting live from da hospital they gave me valium so im 🤤🤤🤤#im starving tho i got leftover pizza in my fridge that im gonna DESTROY when i get home. and maybe also make peanut butter sandwich.#i didnt get a turkey sandwich like last time i was at the hospital and im angy about it >:(#im gonna go home and binge eat and then try to pass tf out ive been awake for like 2 days now #anyways i was da goodest boy in the world despite being horrified of hospitals cause you know how much a lot of healthcare #workers are looking for any excuse to justify and commit medical abuse sadly #so i was on my best behavior #shut up judas

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lordfreg · 2 months ago

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mother has taken away my cellular device until I loose 20 pounds.

i don’t think ill be doing much

#update #almost getting kicked out pt 2 #at least I’m going to therapy now #freg speaks #uh oh! unhealthy work here I come!#yeah idrc #im not feeling amazing and I think I’ll genuinely just starve myself to death #wish me luucccckkkkk 😚🖤#im so hungry but I’ve already had over my calorie limit and I’d rather die then continue #tw eating issues #tw ed #tw eating disorder #vent #personal vent #im just gonna start being 100000% transparent cause i don’t even care anymore

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bishonenspit · 9 months ago

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absolutely useless man

#パタtag #im hungry but where is wife? wife is not home to cook for me? so hungry where did wife go? wife hates me he wants me to starve and die #absolutely 0 survival skills dude go eat shredded cheese out of the bag or something #it's bancoran's turn on the being so overdramatic it borders on delusional #maraich earlier this chapter: you stepped on my head on PURPOSE to try and KILL ME because im MAD AT YOU for CHEATING #bancoran now: you're not home to cook for me because you're trying to STARVE ME so im too weak to CHEAT ON YOU because you're MAD i CHEATED #like what is wrong with both of you #btw this is one of my best pieces of evidence towards my mommy issues bancoran theory

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cowboy-robooty · 10 months ago

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i dont got a gaurdian angel or devil on my shoulder but i do imagine grandad (robert freeman) from the boondocks reacting to everything around me

#been like this for like two months now or something #everytime im too exhausted to get up but am like 'i need to get up to eat dinner' i hear grandads voice like #'have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway'#that sounds bad it sounds like i have an eating disorder or some shit that is not true. i love to eat im monkey d luffy irl and its not a #joke. me and wiener are fucking beasts we will go 20 minutes without eating and go gawd... im so hungry rn...#but sometime my demon of a bed traps me like quicksand again and im like i need to eat food.. but god sleep feels so good....#i love the have sleep for dinner youre getting fat anyway line okay it makes me laugh so fucking hard riley be starving af #pretty boy flizzy episode 😍😍😍#i think about the allowance line too all the fuckin time #you want an allowance? i ALLOW you to eat my food. i ALLOW you to burn my electricity. i ALLOW you to sleep in my bed!#robert freeman is so deadass i love him especially when he thought riley was gay and heard tom say all the good things about gay people and #and went 'damn thats a lot of good shit... nah still gotta disown him'#LOL #grandad was not rockin wit that gangstalicious manbag

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theood · 2 months ago

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If I could change one thing in my life I'd make it so no one ever commented on food

#elias.zip #im so fucking tired of it!!! joking or not its fucking degrading. just constantly. i get it im so fucking unhealthy all i eat is processed #chemical slop thats gonna kill me at 30 and im the unhealthiest person in the fucking work #world* you dont need to fucking remind me every goddamn day. even the comments that arent bad still make me feel likr shit for eating!!! i #already feel really bad about how poorly i eat. i literally cannot fucking starve myself more basically over this kind of comment.#like damn!!! i sure do have a lot of body issues for someone whos skinny WHY am i even complaining in the first place likr i used to fucking #hate my stomach and its noy when #even* big and i think its gone down bc i eat even less now!!! i cannoy make ANYONE happy no matter what i do or what i cook its always comme #nt comment comment in everything i fucking do. i swear to god im never going to fucking recover from living with them. i would've run away i #f i grew up with them im serious #negative #ihateithereihateithereihateithere #nothing's working out. i csnt make friends. i csnt keep them. im a fucking deadbeat im just like my dad in every conceivable way no ones pr #oud of me no matter what i do and i fucked myslef from any opportunity i had to get out of the system what is the fucking point #i jsut dont knoe anymore!!!!!! its not like the Future even looks good or that i see myself anywwhre but in the exact same spot because all #i ever fucking manage to achieve is self sabotage and whining about how no one loves me. god!!!!!

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saltinesinsoup · 2 months ago

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aughhh the hell of like. being sick but feeling decent like i could go to class. and the knowledge that like. probably shouldnt. and also my class is in half an hour and i havent had lunch

#jaytalking #i have tested negative so far. one friend said she would bring around covid tests an hasnt yet so i have no way of checking after this unle #i want to trek for like. 20 minutes to the hospital pharmacy and spend another 20 bucks #i am not going to go to class bc i sat up and had the worst headache in the world and a friend said they would send me the notes but ugh.#bye bye five points bc nobody's gonna record the lecture for me and i don't really want to like. retool those notes #ughhh being sick during school is the worst especially bc its like. i don't really feel like i can miss class but i really shouldn't be goi #but if i'm still feeling shitty tomorrow and i don't go to class i'm going to miss a class discussion and another lecture and also a studio #day for my drawing class. and i'm already missing a studio day for a different art class with no response from my teacher yet #why is being sick like the worst thing in the goddamn world #maybe i email my professor about the discussion and be like heyyyy ive been sick and im not sure if im going to make it to class so what #should i do about that discussion. blease. i don't want to lose easy points just because i can't control my immune system #also yeah i think i would die in that lecture. i just wish somebody would record it :ouh:#maybe i shouldve emailed my professor this morning but also its a big lecture hall and i don't think she normally records anything so hey.#ill never know bc im starving and im going to eat my lunch now

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philosophicallie · 5 months ago

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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me

#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way #in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom #was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc #but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me #but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars #idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like #there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything #bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio #like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer #im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events #never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just #only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just #idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants #like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown #i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4 #the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours #idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until #i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12 #whatever. whatever #im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/

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nomairuins · 3 months ago

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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six-of-ravens · 4 months ago

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Photo dump 3: Cave & Basin Historical Site and Johnston Canyon!

Okay last one. After I had spent too much money in town I went up to the Cave & Basin historical site, essentially it's a hot spring in a cave that First Nations people used for centuries, and then white people tried to turn into a resort lol. Nowadays you can view the cave (and basin) and see some exhibits about it, but the pool has been closed since most people go up to the Banff hot springs to bathe (and to restore the damage done to the environment and the endangered snails that live on the edge of the basin). There was a free tour about 10 mins after I got there, and that was quite fun. I'm sad the tour guide wouldn't let us drink the lithia water though (yes, this magic hot springs contains apparently natural antidepressants lol).

There also a little nature walk into the marsh, which is fed by runoff from the basin, and a bird blind where you can supposedly sit and see a bunch of marsh birds. I saw one, but I have no idea what it is since it was way up in a tree lol (got a video of it singing though so maybe I can figure it out).

After that I wasn't ready to go home yet so I decided to go up to Johnston Canyon. Along the way I saw a bunch of bighorn sheep (? or mountain goats?? I think sheep). This was on a one-lane road and people had filled up the whole shoulder to take photos of the sheep, so eventually people had to drive along the lane beside the sheep to get through. As I did so, one made to walk out in front of my car, and I stopped bc I was only going like, 10km/h but it still gave me a very sassy look and I thought it was going to headbutt my car out of annoyance lol

Finally made it up to Johnston Canyon to discover it was SUPER busy, so I just walked partway up the trail and snapped a photo of the river. I'll have to go back sometime and hike all the way to the falls.

#banff national park #cave & basin historical site #johnston canyon #now i really need to go make supper lol #im STARVING #somehow i did all that on only a Tim's breakfast sandwich and a ham & cheese croissant #i meant to eat more but i just never got around to it or else things were expensive

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